#My first instinct was to answer smt along the lines of 'but I am. That's a contradiction' but I understand how it might come across
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Every interaction I have with my peers is always somehow permeated by a halo of "they can tell there's something off about me"
#I am somewhat aware that I can say slight out of pocket things but it's like okay whatever#Asked some other people in the group who wanted to join me tomorrow for mass hour so we could see the church for free (w/o paying a ticket)#and they were like 'uhm...? Not really feel like it...?' Which was probably a reaction to me serving it in a joking tone similar to#'Don't you guys feel suddenly more religious now that you know of this opportunity?'#also I realized in girls conversation that. I do not feel the same pressure/expectations#If I am by myself in a group I don't really see myself with a gender nor do I pay attention to it#The same goes for being in a group of girls. I don't see any of us through the lense of being of the same gender until they mention it#And if they start by saying anything about differences w men/boys (e.g. oh they feel a lot more confident asking questions) I get#I get irritated...? Like. A girl said smt like 'boys seem/look a lot more curious than girls' and I was already almost fuming#My first instinct was to answer smt along the lines of 'but I am. That's a contradiction' but I understand how it might come across#So I opted for the 'I refuse to believe you're not minimally curious esp considering the field you're pursuing and seem interested in' whic#I realize might come across as. Idk jarring perhaps? But really I don't see any reason why I should sugarcoat it#I guess I do have a different relation to my gender than those who can be considered my peers but Idk#my post#hopefully I'll get to see the church it's a shame they didn't think of giving us a town tour of any sort
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