#My excellence at receiving blunt force trauma to the head continues

[sercphs]

Yikes!

[hirstories]

Abraca—switch! Or The Tale of Edward Elric vs. the Mischievous Body-Snatcher

Chapter 4

“Oh my goodness!” Mei exclaimed as she turned to Winry—flaky crumbs shooting everywhere. “Alphonse-sama told me your apple pie was good, but I had no idea it was this delicious.”

Winry, who just finished serving a slice of pie to Alphonse, glanced at the Xinguese princess then turned her attention back to him.

“Just ‘good’, huh?" she said, her eyebrows twitching in irritation.

Alphonse laughed nervously only served to fuel the fire of Winry’s anger. He'd been on the receiving end of a flying wrench before, and while his brother Edward was immune to blunt force trauma, he wasn't. His eyes sought Pinako, who was sitting at the head of the table, silently listening to the conversation.

The old woman turned to Alphonse when she felt his eyes on her. Alphonse was offering her his most charming smile, the one that he liked to use when he wanted something to go his way.

Pinako let out and irritated sigh. “That's not what you use to say when you lived here.” An impish smile spread across Winry’s face.

She returned to Mei’s side, and while eyeing Alphonse, she said, “Did you know he sobbed like a newborn baby when he first tried one of my pies?”

“Winry!” Alphonse’s face turned bright red.

Mei looked at Winry then at Alphonse, her round eyes sparkled with amusement.

Alphonse hid his face in his hand.

Mei tried not to laugh at him at first, but then Alphonse started groaning, and she couldn't hold back anymore. A stream of giggles poured out of her mouth like a water out of a spring. Both Winry and Pinanko looked at each other and started laughing.

Alphonse sat low in his chair and groaned.

The raucous laughter that reverberated in the dining room soon began to dwindle. As it came to a stop, Winry became lost in the scene unraveling before her.

Mei had leaned closer to Alphonse to console him. Her grandmother, in turn, gazed at the young couple the same way she gazed at her and Edward when he was around.

Winry’s eyes turned her attention to the empty chair to her grandmother’s right. Her grip tightened on the handles of the serving tray, and her expression turned distant as she wondered about the kinds of trouble Edward was getting himself into at that precise moment.

“You see, Mei? That’s the pouting I was telling you about.”

Leave it to an Elric to break her reverie.

Winry slid her eyes Alphonse’s way. “You weren't talking about me, right Al?”

Alphonse held his hands up in surrender. “Nope, not at all,” he said, grinning.

Winry raised a thin eyebrow. She stared at him in silence, deliberately stretching the seconds just to see if the younger Elric would buckle under the weight of her scrutiny. But Alphonse has always been a tough cookie to crack.

Winry broke her silence. “Just checking,” she said, then she paused again to see if her words would have an effect on Alphonse. They didn't. “Because you know how much I love anecdotes,” she pressed and paused again. But Alphonse remained as calm as before.

It was time to take off the gloves.

A wicked smile spread across her face. “Al, do you remember that conversation we had before you left to Xing?”

This time Alphonse reacted. His face paled and his gorgeous eyes became as round as an owl’s.

Winry could've sworn? she saw begging in his eyes; her smile spread even wider.

And she went for the kill.

“You know, the one about what girls like and don't like?” Her comment made Mei blush and Alphonse squirm in his seat.

It took Alphonse a long moment to recover from Winry’s humiliation, but when he did, he said, “That was low Win.”

Alphonse was frowning at her so Winry frowned back at him.

“What? You can dish it out but you can take it?" she chided.

Alphonse clenched his jaw; Winry was sure making an excellent job at making him lose his temper. Edward would've already exploded in a fit of rage at being called out in the worst of ways. Lucky for Winry, he wasn't like his brother. His frown instantly vanished from his face, replaced by a wide smile. Alphonse waited a few seconds before laughing.

“Amazing!" he exclaimed as his laughter died down.

He waited for Winry to look at him before continuing. Once her eyes were on him, he said, “You're starting to sound just like Brother.”

Winry eyebrows shot up. Alphonse shrugged his shoulders then gave the final blow.

”I get it. You miss him. I miss him too, but really, Winry, can you just stop already?”

Winry’s face scrunched up in anger. “Why you—!”

Mei, who had been stuck in the middle of the battlefield raised the white flag of truce. “Guys, please don't fight,” she pleaded.

Her words immediately reached Alphonse. He turned his attention to her. Mei’s open expression, with her huge puppy eyes and her beautiful smile, had a way of calming him.

“Okay,” he said, and his usual tender smile reappeared on his face.

“Aw…” Winry cooed. “You both are so cute!”

Alphonse glared at Winry. Turning to Mei, he offered her a beaming smile.

He got closer to her and whispered, “Just ignore her." He looked up to see Winry’s scowl. Alphonse leaned back, and without taking his eyes away from Winry, he added, “She’s envious because Ed’s not here.”

Winry’s eyes widened; Alphonse’s insolence caught her off guard. Her eyes narrowed to thin slits of contempt.

“That's not true Al, and you know it!" she roared.

She debated in her mind the possibility of smacking Alphonse in the head with the serving tray.

“That's enough, you two!” Pinako’s voice raised above all others.

Staring at her granddaughter, she said, “Winry, where are your manners, girl?” Then she turned to Alphonse. “Is this the kind of behavior you want your girlfriend to see from you?”

Winry’s face turned beet red. Alphonse sank lower in his chair.

Pinako turned to Mei. “I apologize on behalf of these two. They're usually more civilized than this.”

Mei waved a hand in dismissal. “It's okay Mrs. Rockbell—”

“Call me Granny, my dear.”

Mei nodded, blushing a bit. She cleared her throat, then said, “Granny, you should see my family gatherings.”

“I can attest to that!” Alphonse chipped in.

Thinking of the last gathering, she said, “My big cousin Tao used to make fun of Alphonse-sama all the time." She glanced at Alphonse and smiled at him before returning her attention to Pinako. “Oh, the pranks he pulled on him!” she added, giggling a bit.

Winry's face lit up with sudden mischief. She abandoned the serving tray on the table and pulled out the chair next to Mei.

“Oooh, do tell!" she said with a lively smile as she sat.

Mei looked back at Alphonse. His eyes had grown wide making the subtle hints of gold stand out from the usual olive-green.

“Mei, please,” he begged in a low whisper.

Winry heard it. She grabbed Mei’s hand to get her attention.

“Don't listen to him, Mei,” she said the moment the Xinguese princess looked at her.

Pinako raised her voice again. “Winry, that's enough!”  

Winry flinched. She let go of Mei’s hand and sat quietly on the chair, sulking.

Pinako turned to both Mei and Alphonse. “I know you both just got in, but I was wondering, how long will you two be staying with us?”

Alphonse rubbed the back of his neck. “A couple of weeks?" he answered then glanced at Mei before adding, “That is if you don't mind us staying that long.”

“Of course I don't mind, dummy.” Pinako almost rolled her eyes at him. “I needed to know so we can have the spare room ready for you.” She then turned to Mei. ”You, my dear, will be sleeping in the boy’s old room.”

Winry started sniggering but stopped when Pinako narrowed her glare on her.

Alphonse picked up where he left off. “Mei wants to explore Amestris,” he said while giving Mei a loving smile.

Mei held his gaze for a few seconds then tore her eyes away from him to say, “I really fell in love with this country and its people.”

More like with one person in particular. Winry leaned her head on her hand and offered the young couple a knowing smile.

Den’s frantic barking brought the conversation to a screeching halt. Everyone looked at each other, then towards the direction of the front door. Den’s barking continued to escalate.

Winry stood up from her chair. “I wonder what’s gotten into him?”

“Wait here,” Alphonse said to Winry. He pushed his chair back and stood up. “I'll go check up on Den.”

She nodded then sat back down.

Alphonse left the dining room. The three women exchanged glances while they waited for him to return.

Mei scrunched the skirt of her attire. “What if something happened to Xiao Mei?" she said as her eyes moved from Winry to Pinako.

Winry offered her a sympathetic smile. “Don't worry. Nothing utterly terrible happens around these parts.”

“Brother!” Alphonse’s happy cry boomed throughout all the house.

Winry stilled. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the familiar thud-clack in Edward's strides. She let out a gasp.

Alphonse entered the dining room first, sporting a beaming smile. He stood to one side to let his older brother in.

Ed... Winry felt the sting of tears in her eyes. The pace of her heart quickened when their gazes met.

She stood up.

Winry took one step then another until she reached Edward.

Wrapping her arms around his broad back, she said, “Welcome home!”

Pinako smiled at Edward, so did Alphonse. Mei, on the other hand, couldn't help but scowl at him. . . . . . . A strong jerk woke up Edward. His reflexes—that is, Domingo’s reflexes—went into high gear. He had to stop the urge of jumping away from the ledge he was sleeping on.

“Stupid cat reflexes,” he grumbled as he laid back down.

His eyes searched around before settling upon those that were looking back at him. Even in the dark, he could clearly see the flock of sheep. One of them locked eyes with him and bleated.

Edward stood up and walked the length of the ledge perched high in the cargo wagon. His stomach growled. The sound was so loud that some of the sheep closest to him bumped onto one another. Ignoring the dumb beasts, Edward took another look around to see if he could find something to eat. He found nothing. Just thinking about food made his stomach complain again. He sighed.

Edward slowly splayed out on the shelve. His body conformed to the surface like some type of viscous liquid found in an alchemy laboratory.

Cats sure were strange creatures...

The rest of his thoughts faded into the background as his mind wandered back to the events of the last few days.

He happened to catch his reflection in a storefront window while he roamed the only street in Little Big Canyon. He'd been looking around for a truck with no cargo in its bed. An empty bed meant the owner completed his business in town and would be going back to the city, and most cities lied east.

Edward approached the store and sat before the large window pane. He carefully studied his reflection. Somewhere deep inside of him still entertained the idea that he was hallucinating and what’d happened until that moment had been a product of his own imagination. Sadly, that wasn't the case. The image reflected on the window pane was Domingo's. He got closer to the window and noticed a tuft of golden hair sticking out from the top of his feline head. The tuft of hair reminded him of the way he styled his own hair—with a piece of hair sticking up in the air.

Edward’s eyes narrowed in contempt. He didn't find the irony of the situation funny back then and he didn't find it funny now. His mood got ruined within seconds.

Edward tried to shake away the dark feelings by turning to a game of guessing the train’s current location. He remembered that it took him around forty-eight hours to travel from Resembool to Table City. One day and night have already gone by ever since he snuck inside the train back at Table City. Since sunlight left the cargo wagon a while ago, Edward deduced that the train would be arriving at Resembool pretty soon.

He couldn't wait to get off the damn train.

It was imperative for him to reach Rockbell Automail as fast as he could, firstly to make sure Don Paco hadn't hurt Winry in any way, but mainly because he was starving.

Shivers ran down his spine just thinking about the feast he had two days ago. He and the poor mouse he'd hunted down didn't see it coming. Domingo’s instincts had kicked in, and before he knew it, he was holding his prize in his mouth. He dropped the dead rodent when he felt warm liquid filling his mouth. At the time he wanted to turn around and look for something else to eat but his taste buds had already savored the metallic tang of blood. And his feline instincts took over, once again.

Edward squirmed in disgust. He could still feel his borrowed fangs sinking, piercing the thick layer of fur so they could reach the tender flesh. He could still hear the sounds of flesh ripping; the mouse’s insides were so soft that they practically had melted in his mouth.

Edward squeezed his eyes shut. If he could, he would cover his ears too.

Life as a cat hadn't been easy for him.

Food had been a huge issue but finding places to relieve himself wasn't far behind. Edward was no stranger to having to do his business out in the open. He did it during his training at Yoki Island, also while he was on the run with Greedling, Darius, and Heinkel. Leaves always did their job, but now, he couldn't even wipe his behind.

Edward’s ears flattened against his head just thinking about his woes.

To make things worse, he'd been having vivid recollections of what happened after he drank Don Paco’s potion during the Ritual of Transcendence.

He mostly remembered Don Paco celebrating the fact that he was able to dupe him. Not only did Don Paco lie about what the Transcendence Ritual was about, he vaguely recalled the bastard using his Philosopher’s Stone when he'd promised not use it. Before performing the switch, Don Paco rubbed in his face that he knew he wanted to take over his body the moment he peered into his life memories. The man even complimented him by saying he was a true warrior, that it was an honor to have his body as his new replacement.

Having his body stolen was a terrible experience in itself but what bothered him the most was the message in the memories of his most recent recall. Don Paco mentioned that he would love to have Winry’s body too. Edward still didn't know what the man meant by this. One thing was for sure, he wasn't going to wait to find it out.

The train whistle reverberated throughout the wagon; Edward wasn't prepared for the ear-splitting shrill. He fell off the shelf but made a safe landing on the bottom of the wagon.

Before he had a chance to process what just happened, he was already jumping back again to get away from danger. The sheep around him were beginning to get restless so Edward jumped on a barrel then jumped on the adjacent crates until he managed to return to his safe spot on top of the ledge.

“Stupid cat reflexes…" he grumbled again while he found a comfortable place to lie down.

The train whistle sounded again but this time Edward didn't jump, he didn't even flinch. His tail was snaking from excitement, though.

Resembool was a couple of minutes away now. . . . . . . Winry turned to the Xinguese princess, and said, “This is delicious!”

Mei wasn't accustomed to being on the receiving end of praise so it wasn't surprising that she felt the heat rising in her cheeks.

She held Winry's gaze and offered her a genuine smile. “I'm glad you liked it!”

Winry smiled back then turned to Alphonse who was sitting next to Mei. “That goes for you too, Al. You’ve turned out to be a great cook.”

Alphonse took Mei’s hand in his. “It's all thanks to her,” he answered, his face turning red as he looked at her.

Winry couldn't help but smile tenderly at them. “I'm so happy for you guys. You two sure make a cute couple.”  

Edward mimicked Alphonse and took one of Winry’s hands in his. Winry turned to him. For a long moment, their eyes locked in an intense gaze. But then Edward broke contact when he returned his attention back to Alphonse.

“I can't believe my baby brother has a girlfriend!" he said, grinning.

Alphonse’s face changed a few shades redder.  He spent a couple of moments watching his brother before shifting his attention towards Winry. “And I can't believe Winry’s with you,” he said. Turning back to Edward, he added, “The good people of Resembool should erect a statue in her honor simply for having you as her boyfriend.”

Everyone around the table laughed, except for Mei.

Her face went from placidly amused to neutral as she studied Edward. She couldn't shake the feeling that there was something wrong with her future brother-in-law. She couldn't fully explain what she was sensing neither. If she had to put her feelings into words, she would say that Edward wasn't Edward at all, but another person entirely.

But that couldn't be. She looked at Xiao Mei who was resting on her lap. The poor girl was exhausted from keeping her guard up around Edward, just like Den had been doing even since he came back home. She always liked to observe animals when they're around people because animals can sense when things are amiss, and something was definitely happening in that household. For now, she was going to keep that information to herself or at least until she could figure out exactly what was going on. She petted her companion and offered her a tender smile when she looked up at her.

Pinako grumbled something under her breath. “That's enough, boys,” she uttered in an exasperated tone. Both Edward and Alphonse straightened up in their chairs. Pinako then turned to Winry. “Can you please get the dessert ready?”

Winry acknowledged her grandmother's words with a nod.

Turning her eyes back on the brothers, Pinako added, “Alphonse, please bring the dirty dishes to the kitchen, and Edward, it's your turn to wash them.”

Edward frowned. “I don't wash dishes.”

Winry her raised an eyebrow. “Since when?”

Edward rubbed the back of his head, realizing his mistake. “Just kidding!" he grinned.

He wasn't going to wait for Winry to say something more. He stood up and began helping Alphonse with the plates.

“Brother, you don't have to do this,” Alphonse said, but Edward ignored him.

Mei didn't add anything to the conversation. She continued petting Xiao Mei and keeping an eye on Edward. . . . . . . Edward sprinted across the small hill that led to Rockbell Automail. Earlier he managed to jump out the bed of a moving pickup truck without getting hurt. Maybe being stuck inside a cat’s body wasn't as bad as he thought it to be; the speed and agility weren't bad neither.

After a few minutes of running, Edward finally spotted the yellow house. His heart would've been filled with emotion if it wasn't for the urgency of the current situation. On top of that, he was starting to feel weak from the lack of food but he wasn't going to let that deter him from his mission.

Edward stopped a couple of yards away from the front of the house. He lowered himself closer to the ground and looked around. He couldn't see Den but he heard him barking.

Edward lifted himself up and threaded lightly. He scurried across the open field when he got closer to the house. He then headed straight for the small rock wall standing next to the main trail leading to the front entrance then walked along the line of the wall until he reached the end. He craned his head up and sniffed; Den wasn't close by.

Looking left, then right, Edward ran up the stairs and climbed on the balustrade.

Thankfully the rail was high enough for him to look through the windows. His feline eyes widened when he spotted his younger brother. Mei Chan was sitting next to him.

A sense of relief immediately washed over him. It looked like Granny and Winry hadn't been alone with that maniac for long.

Edward craned his neck higher and saw Granny sitting in her usual spot. Winry and that bastard who stole his body were nowhere to be found. Cold dread balled up in the pit of his stomach. Then questions began plaguing his mind.

Winry? Where was she? Was she with Don Paco? Was he even in the house, let alone in Resembool?

A low growl rumbled in his chest, interrupting his litany of woes.

Mei looked at Alphonse, and asked, “Did you hear that?”

“Shit!” Edward jumped off the ledge and pressed himself against the cinder blocks.

He waited a few minutes before going up the stairs and sitting back on the rail. When he went back to his spot, he saw Winry and Don Paco sitting next to each other directly across from Alphonse and Mei. Don Paco had his arm over Winry’s shoulder.

“That fucker—!” Edward seethed.

His impostor said something that made everyone laugh—it made Edward growl.

He realized what he'd done so he jumped off the rail before someone saw him.  

What is that asshole scheming? Edward looked up at the window when another wave of laughter reached his fluffy ears.

He growled again in disdain. But his moment of seething was cut short.

Edward sensed movement behind him. The distinct scent of dog hair and motor oil flooded his nostrils.

Fuck-fuck-fuck! He slowly turned around and came face-to-face with Den’s penetrating gaze.

A low growl started from Den’s chest. No teeth were bared—yet.

“Hey there bud, it's me, Ed,” Edward said. There was no harm in trying to speak to the dog—from one animal to another.

Den’s growl increased, then he barked.

Oh, hell…

Edward’s animal instincts kicked in again. The hairs on his back raised to end.

He heard himself hissing a warning at Den. Back the fuck away.

Art by Dzioo.