#My brain went brr

[chronicbeans]

Dead Plate headcanon...? Dead Plate headcanon...? OwO

I don't believe it was ever explained how Vincent lost his sense of taste, so I have this random headcanon that explains both that and why he decided to live above his bistro.

My headcanon is that he was in some sort of car accident, which caused his ageusia and a fear of cars. So, he decided to live above his bistro because then he wouldn't have to drive to work, or walk/bike on the sidewalk where he'd still be near cars as they drive by. Him getting so defensive about living above the bistro when Rody points out how everything could go wrong is because he both knows that one wrong day could destroy everything, and his fear of cars has gotten to an irrational point. Even if Rody doesn't know about it, him pointing out how he lives above the bistro irritates him because it causes him to think about the accident and his fear.

Anyways thought I'd share because I could and it has been tumbling around my brain like clothes in a washing machine.

[grindedcoffeebeans]

i love that charles has the number 16, because it fits him so well -

i've always seen 6 as something brownish in colour, like earth tones, something that is soothing and soft(-spoken) and feels down to earth,

like it gives off a very neutral and adaptable vibe, but it's still a strong colour; it feels like autumn and everything that comes with it, and i just think that connects to charles so beautifully

[rexisan]

Okay not to hijack but build off it.

Tim physically stays away more now too. He's never in the manor or the penthouse, he stays near exclusively in the Nest.

Tim doesn't tell anyone else how to shield. They somewhat learn but it's nowhere near as complete as Tim's.

Now take a situation where the bond has settled everyone is balanced and on steady ground. Everyone is aware of Tim in it but haven't felt anything since it started. Then one night they all just finally feel him. The shields have been ripped down.

Bruce feels the anguish of Tim thinking he was never good enough to be Robin.

Jason feels how much Tim adored him and how much he still TRUSTS him.

Dick feels how alone Tim has almost always felt.

Damian feels how much Tim loves him, truly loves him as a brother, how Tim is sooo willing to kill Ras for even hinting about touching Damian.

Cass feels her little brother and how even though she's seen how he feels she now KNOWS.

And Alfred feels how Tim saw him as the rock. Even when it hurt.

And the worst of all. No one knows where he is currently. But after the deluge of feeling everything. They feel the pain, so so much pain.

AU idea: Tim, tired of all the misunderstandings in the batfam, resorts to magic.

The misunderstandings:

Jason thinking he's been replaced

Damian feeling that he has to earn his place in the family

So many of the batkids feeling unsure of their place in the family

Dick never reaching out about his own issues until it blows up on him

Bruce putting his foot in his mouth and rarely verbally affirming his love

Cass's overwhelming guilt and physical distance from the family

Alfred's passiveness/professionalism/perceived neutrality

The timeline is after Damian joins, but before Duke does. We'll say the BruceQuest really made Tim face how shitty their communication is and the need to fix it.

So, Tim contacts Constantine about setting up pack/coven bonds for the family (Bruce, Jason, Dick, Damian, Alfred, and Tim). This links their emotions together and allows them to monitor each other's physical states.

At the beginning, it's sudden and overwhelming. Only Tim, who was prepared, is able to immediately shield his bond.

If he had a choice, he wouldn't have even included himself in the bond (he's a hypocrite). He needed to be in the bond for it to work. In fact, since he was the one to start it, he's the coven/pack leader. He can add people and remove them at will.

The bond causes many many many fights and arguments. It's basically a huge blowup as the family learns to adjust to their new status and try to figure out what happened. Tim, obviously, does not tell them.

The family can tell that Tim is in the bond, but his emotions are constantly shielded. This does cause misunderstandings.

Eventually, the bonds become used as Tim intended: a way to express and communicate. It even allows them to soothe and comfort each other.

It's mostly a success... Except for Tim, the hypocrite, distancing himself. While he watches everyone else bond and get along, he allows the misconception that he's not as affected or doesn't feel as much as the others.

[isjasz]

[Day 100 - Day 5: Sand]

And it slips away

[doodlesdreaming]

Just a another day at the academy. (Happy Pokémon Day!)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

😵‍💫

[sunshineneedsaplacetokeephernsfw]

Once upon a time I found vampires as a boring option as a monster fucker/lover. Mainly because I just saw them as pale humans who drink blood and had yet to see a piece of media take full advantage of the differences between humans and vampires and all the interesting things a vampire/human relationship could offer.

Mainly because I hadn't seen a lot and only exposure was a few posts in the teratophilia tag that didn’t sell me. But having recently consumed a piece of media that sold me on just how interesting a vampire/human relationship could be and all of the fun things that could be done with it. (If you've seen my blog at all recently, you know exactly what I'm talking about)

So since my adhd brain won't shut up about all the things that could be done with it, I will ran about the things that can be done with it here.

Sorry that it's probably disorganized and certain words might be repeated a lot. This is just me writing down all of my thoughts.

First of all there's all of the different features of vampires that different tellings of them offer. There's the obvious stuff like fangs and drinking blood to survive, sunlight being harmful to them, being able to turn into a bat, them being immortal. And there's also some things someone might forget at first like not being able to see them in mirrors, or even garlic being harmful to them. Maybe these things wouldn't be that useful to consider when writing a smut oneshot, but they are small details that would effect their life and interactions they might have with a human.

Like, maybe the human is inspecting themselves in the mirror and the vampire sneaks up behind them and whispers "Boo". The human jumps before laughing and playfully shoving the vampire away but leans into their touch after they snake their arms around the human's waist. Or maybe vampires can't be seen in pictures, much to the human's dismay because they want to remember what the vampire looks like, so they teach themselves to draw so they can draw what the vampire looks like and can always look back at that picture.

Or them trying to figure out what to do when they realize the vampire will outlive the human by a lot.

Or since vampires are stereotyped to live in gothic mansions (at least from what I can tell), lean into that gothic aesthetic. Or have them live somewhere else and lean into the aspects or aesthetic that would come with that.

But my favorite thing of all about vampire/human relationships is the dynamic and potential power dynamic or imbalance that could present.

Of course, if someone wants to write a healthy romance, they might not want to lean into that. But it could still be done in an interesting way of the characters doing their best to figure out how to have a healthy relationship and communicate with each other if they see something that could potentially become an issue and come up with a solution.

The fact that they rely on blood to survive and are much stronger and faster than humans immediately introduces a predator aspect to them which could create an interesting dynamic between the vampire and what they would usually consider food.

And even then, the abilities that make vampires so much more stronger and dangerous to humans could lead to a feeling of superiority over humans in vampire society and make it even more difficult for a vampire to interact with a human without treating them as food or a pet, or simple amusement. But humans and vampires still have the same mental capacity and ability to make connections, and potentially long for someone to be with. And how those two sides could mix or collide or be at war with each other.

It would be interesting to see how the relationship starts off like with the vampire only seeing them as a future snack or amusement, and how it slowly changes as they interact and then the journey of how it blossoms into a legitimate romance. Or it could be an exploration of the toxic elements and power imbalance in the relationship and how it effects the characters (like in Castlevania how Lenore legitimately cares about and is attracted to Hector, but still treats him like a pet in some cases).

Of course, you don't have to write vampires like this. Your world building and the ways vampires see or interact with humans could be completely different and that's okay, just make sure to explore it.

And obviously not all vampires will act the same, each will have their own personalities, ways they decide to feed, and how they decide to interact with humans. You could have a world where most vampires despise humans, but have a vampire that's never interact with much other vampires and tries to live in hiding amongst humans instead and does their best to gain their blood through methods that won't hurt others. Or maybe if there's a vampire that doesn’t realize they’re treating their human friend like a pet. Or a vampire that plans on keeping the human around until their bored or hungry, but end up developing actual feelings along the way and can't imagine a life without them (which could either develop into a sweet love confession or them becoming even more possessive).

Overall, I just really like it when vampire/human stories really explore aspects like these. And stories when it would be impossible to switch out the vampire with a human without the story not making sense.

And while the main dynamic I talked about is very good for dark romances, it's also really sweet if it's about a love so strong that it overcomes all of these obstacles any vampire/human interaction would come across

[batsplat]

hello dr. batsplat! in your gossip post you listed the post-aragón 2015 rumor that vale went on to interrogate dani about why he raced him so hard, and how that is at the same time wildly unlikely but also would be fascinating from the character standpoint. i watched aragón a couple of times for my own purposes, but there were some bits along the way that made me think of it

first, it's the pre-race comment made by jorge's team manager wilko zeelenberg: "one: one never writes off valentino rossi, and two: we'll need some help from dani pedrosa". the british comms then milked it for all its worth. and after the race, in parc fermé, vale says in his interview, "i needed those five points more!" which is like. not a particularly outrageous thing to say, especially combined with vale's joking/self-deprecating tone, but, as you rightfully pointed out, marca is not a reliable source (don't trust them farther than you can throw their print copy...) you also said there was a second story they combined with the first one, about vale crashing a honda party in phillip island - so did the article come out after the australian race - or even after sepang? because then marca's implication would be that vale counted dani into the spanish conspiracy even if he didn't verbalize it

which overall tells us nothing in terms of like. Did It Actually Happen, HOWEVER. i, personally, think it would be fun and juicy if it DID and kind of marked the start of vale's descent. because, as you've also said, vale excels in one-on-ones, and always had dani covered... but not in aragón. is that the point where doubt starts creeping into his mind, that it's not the same as it was before, that he's not the same as he was? (i may be wildly misreading and dramatizing everything). and a LOT of people commented on how hard dani raced there, which is- first of all, why wouldn't he. but this, combined with his interactions with jorge (that podium is a pedrenzo shipper's paradise), maybe seemed... a touch suspicious.

yeah the story was published after sepang! but... uh, I'm gonna be honest, I wrote that gossip post quite quickly, did not check any of my sources and, well, I'm very sorry to the writers at el pais because I accidentally got my spanish papers mixed up. so, um, my sincere apologies to el pais for calling you marca, it will NOT happen again. here's the article which I'd copy pasted into my actual, y'know, notes (it was behind a paywall):

even though the dani rumour to the best of my knowledge originated here, I've seen only that one spread elsewhere - not the marc one. which isn't really surprising. getting mad at dani feels kinda newsworthy, kinda quirky, who gets mad at dani right. plus, the marc story really isn't all that believable. look, we won't ever know for sure.... but valentino interrupting a honda party to interrogate marc fits in with quite literally nothing we've heard from any involved parties, ever? marc has repeatedly said the sepang thing took him by surprise, that valentino had his phone number and didn't use it and all that, valentino has never made reference to this conversation, nobody at honda has ever mentioned anything like this... you watch the sepang presser and you just don't buy marc went into that with forewarning, right? how would his emotional reaction work in this hypothetical scenario? 'wow, valentino already complained to me directly about the stuff he's now accusing me of during a party a few days ago, but I guess I'm still surprised because I didn't think he'd talk about it in a presser'? like... it just doesn't feel right, does it

and, yeah, if you're reading an article and most of the paragraph you're on kinda sounds like bullshit, then you're going to treat the first two sentences with some scepticism too. the dani one is more plausible in that it hasn't been repeatedly directly contradicted by both major parties, but it does also feel. odd. this isn't how valentino handles his conflicts. if you want to know how valentino handles his conflicts, it's quite literally sepang 2015 - that weekend feels completely in-keeping with his conflict management (and escalation) in a way this aragon story just..... doesn't? he actively evades a private conversation with biaggi, he conducts his warfare with sete completely in the open (cf sepang 2004), same with casey, with jorge, with marc... I think what I wrote in the gossip post is that it'd be interesting because it would feel out of character, in a way that I don't really think anything else in 2015 is really does for valentino? again, I don't want to dismiss the article out of hand, but it does read more like an op-ed than actual reporting. and just to clarify, the piece isn't exactly trying to argue that valentino thought dani was involved with any conspiracy. it's more a general argument that valentino that year was unravelling, that he was demanding some distance from fans, that he'd manage to silence iannone (?) and so on. which, there's some truth to that - but even if everything in the piece is factually correct, the whole thing is pretty shoddy journalism. the aragon story has never to my knowledge been corroborated by another source - and the outlets I usually treat as reputable for motogp news didn't even report on it. could be true, might not be true, but it is very much a rumour spread around by a source with skin in the game

that being said! I do completely buy valentino was more frustrated by that race than he let on in public - and yes, his joking about how he would have really needed those points does encourage that impression. and yes, it is also pretty noteworthy as basically the only time dani bests him in extended combat. it's some very sturdy defending by dani's standards, a bit of a one-off performance in his career. by that point in the championship, every race felt extremely significant... you could say that race bears some surface level similarity to estoril 2006, where valentino lost a very close race to toni elias who really wasn't getting the better off him all that much (well, I suppose that one time he shoved valentino off-track at turkey 2007 lol). maybe also a little phillip island 2009, come to think of it, just a different championship picture. though those two are a little different - and in both estoril and phillip island I reckon it's fair to say valnetino was motivated to be more cautious than he was at aragon. I think it's... hm. I don't hate the interpretation it's the beginning of the end - honestly it is fun for narrative reasons! it's fun to look at turning points! but the way I personally read the 2015 season, I kinda think once you pass assen, pretty much every race contributes to that downfall? in one way or another

let's quickly go through them. *takes deep breath* in sachsenring, you've got a version of marc who is still clearly hung up about assen and shows as much in his presser answers. he does more or less manage to get over it during the summer break, which is the chance for a bit of a reset for everyone, but by that point the damage has already been done. from then on, there's several moments in these pressers where marc is getting asked about the title fight, is saying that 'well valentino is slower but he's been very consistent!!' again and again, is being constantly asked about his potential role as kingmaker and it's all very sword of damocles given valentino is sitting Right There... indy and brno work as this duo of races that make the title feel like it's slipping away from valentino, and at brno valentino relinquishes the championship lead for the first time (if only on countback). at brno, marc also decides to kinda harass him during qualifying (he'd already done his last flying lap so wasn't just catching a tow) - and they're asked about it in press, they joke about it, but it's just another moment where once again.... if that's one of the things valentino remembers from that weekend? not ideal. silverstone is just stress, and yes it massively helps valentino in the championship, the rain was a gift from god... but also you've got this niggling sensation of 'wow marc really is harassing valentino around that track, he kinda wasn't in control of that bike', and then marc crashes - and you end that weekend with a sense that jorge actually got a lucky break of his own to limit the points damage. misano is again helpful for valentino's championship, again is heightened stress due to the flag-to-flag conditions, again there's a sliding doors moment or two where you feel valentino should have gotten more of a points buffer out it, it's also the heightened stress of his home race and how the fans Just Will Not Leave Him Alone... plus silverstone and misano are on-track confrontations with marc that valentino has explicitly referred back to as moments where his suspicions were aroused. aragon, never been one of his favourite tracks where he was already in damage limitation mode but then would have expected to get past dani in direct combat... not the easiest of tracks for making overtakes stick and gets repeatedly cut back and frustrated (just ask marc about that kind of aragon experience lol). the fact that motegi/phillip island/sepang is a flyaway triple header, exhausting and away from home and already so very late into the season... everything about motegi was extremely stressful - that moment in the race when it looked like valentino might be proper fucked when dani got past until it became clear he actually could follow dani past jorge on his slightly healthier tyres in that kinda odd race. after the race, reporters commented that this was as physically exhausted as they'd ever seen valentino - who had worked so hard on his fitness for this season but, y'know, age comes for us all... this was taking so much more out of him than it ever had. and then you get to phillip island!! a mere week later! where he never quite looked like he had the pace for the victory, but kept himself in that lead fight through sheer intransigence and could take advantage of the other riders getting in each others' ways - before ultimately coming away with a disappointing result. and then sepang is a mere week after that, but I've heard that one at least was a quiet one

the point here is that it's a cumulative effect. I think aragon does stand out a little bit in that it's arguably the first of only two times that season valentino actually gets bested in wheel-to-wheel combat. but... I mean, his issue that year definitely wasn't the w2w stuff and all in all he would've LOVED to Actually Fight Jorge. it's a lot harder to fuck with a rival when they're always ten seconds up or down the road. I also don't think he really needed a moment of realisation that season about his waning abilities as a rider. he'd had four years worth of realisation that he wasn't the rider he was in his prime any more! stuff like aragon may have served as a brutal reminder, but at the end of the day 2015 was quite explicitly a campaign of relentless maximisation, a title charge built on podium rather than victories (see here). 2015 is such a defensive title campaign that his prevailing mode isn't cockiness... it's creeping desperation. he was also constantly being reminded by literally everyone that jorge was faster than him (including by marc, repeatedly), which he never complained about but like... how could that not piss you off? or maybe not even piss you off as much as it just... makes your resolve even greater, makes the stakes even higher to you. nobody thought you could do this after valencia 2013, everyone thought it was over for you, now they still won't trust in your abilities and you have to prove them wrong... the worst thing about aragon imo was that it comes just... as a reminder, as a way of twisting in the knife a little further. one more frustration in a season that felt full of them

the fun thing about 2015 narratively is that it's like,, custom-built to gradually chip away at valentino's sanity, at a time when he'd mostly ditched all his old tricks. he's reserved in his race-by-race celebrations (watch catalunya 2009/assen 2015 side by side and this might as well be a different person), he's not massively attempting to fuck with jorge in the press, he shows uncharacteristic restraint every time marc gets a wee bit weird towards him... he's just keeping his head down, working to get his tenth. but, well, in an odd way I do think that probably... didn't help? like, the reason why sepang is so fucked is because valentino didn't just have a normal fight with marc after assen. this entire season was a pressure cooker, and valentino just didn't use any of his usual outlets to blow off some steam. which is dramatically fun and juicy in itself - if valentino had just been kinda normal 2009 levels of bitchy towards jorge throughout the course of the season, if he'd had a go at marc after assen, hell, even if he'd insinuated dani was pursuing a pro-jorge agenda during aragon... I'm not saying bickering with your rivals is a healthy way of dealing with stress, but kinda a little bit? if that's how you've been doing your title fights historically, minus 2006 (which does in itself maybe go to show a little bit of feuding did help him), then if you're just going cold turkey... suddenly you get a sepang 2015 coming out of nowhere. because you have all this stuff festering inside valentino and he didn't just have a go at a rival to clear his head a bit

here's my 'pro aragon 2015 as a turning point' case: I was mentally going through his title-winning years and trying to think of him actually losing this type of duel and... well, he doesn't really do a lot of it? nothing in 2001 I don't think, then you have those two barros wins in 2002 (the streets won't forget) but the title is already extremely wrapped up by then, maybe ukawa at welkom, 2003... okay, that one's the outlier - arguably welkom and catalunya, definitely le mans and sachsenring - but crucially the sachsenring defeat pissed him off so bad it sent him into a bit of an existential crisis... which does go to show that repeated w2w defeats can and will get to him. 2004... I mean, maybe le mans at a stretch. 2005 there isn't really anything. (2006 has estoril and 2007 has qatar + catalunya.) 2008 has... well, depends on whether you count estoril has a prolonged duel, same with what you call 2009 phillip island. but especially like,, this second half of the season 'ooh gotta be sensible with the title fight' type duel he only very, very rarely lost. when you consider that plus his direct w2w record against dani... from that pov, I think you can say that aragon 2015 certainly didn't HELP his flagging confidence levels - and neither did having to perceive his teammate throwing himself onto dani in parc fermé right in front of his salad. that season is death by a thousand cuts, but some cuts will always sting particularly badly. aragon was right before the triple header... perhaps you can call it a tipping point for the ruin to come

[blind0raven]

Shhhhhhhhhhhhh Epel I'm having a moment

Brain go brr playing Silly Song

[lovely-hikari-cosplay]

I’ve been playing Anarchy Battles for the past week to catch up on the the catalogue and I’m finally seeing the appeal

[internallysalad]

damon salvatore and clark kent !!!!! IN ONE FRAME IN ONE SHOW !!!! i knew Ian was gonna appear after Paul did because of some spoilers but the way he's acting: the smirks the smiles the looks in his eyes !!! THAT'S MY DAMON AND HE'S WELL AND ALIVE THROUGH THE INTERACTIONS WITH LANA

[the-shit-show-must-go-on]

[lvlystars]

AYO LISTEN UP 🗣️🗣️‼️‼️

NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY 🙅‍♀️🙏

NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO 🙅‍♀️🦾

WE GON RESONATE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

RESONATE ‼️‼️‼️‼️

RRRRREEEEEEESSSSSSSOOOOONNNNNNAAAAATTTTTEEE

[redflagshipwriter]

The Proposal

This mini fic was inspired by the anon prompt to @faeriekit linked here and all the development that Faeriekit did for the idea. This fic is perilously regional. I half expect angry yelling from other areas of the Midwest.

Original post

Word count: 2718

Masterpost of my Archive Down Fics is here.

Jason came to with cream cheese stuck under his fingernails and in the creases of his fingers. He looked around the room wildly, trying to understand the situation he was in. The kitchen smelled fucking weird. He sniffed the air. Meat? Like, ham and also vinegar?

He washed his hands really well, grimacing at the greasy texture. Then he reconstructed what must have happened by the debris. This was not his first post-blackout rodeo, but usually he was reconstructing a literal crime scene.

There was an empty pickle jar on the countertop. There were packets of deli meat in the trash.

There was some kind of abomination on his nicest plate, which was obviously made of cream cheese wrapped around pickles, blanketed by the meat, and sliced thin like sushi rolls. It was lovingly protected by a perfect sheet of cling wrap.

“The fuck?” Jason said, a little scared and pissed off.

He paced the kitchen for a while and then went to pace on the balcony, because he needed a smoke to process this culinary abomination but something in his gut wailed at the tragedy of ruining it with cigarette smoke. Which was absurd, partly because the plate was in the refrigerator. He sensed in his bones that it needed to cool until the cream cheese was as hard as it would get, so that he could safely transport it. Transport it fucking where? Was this an assassination attempt against Batman? That sappy motherfucker was probably the only man in the world who would choke that down to make Jason happy.

He had a long drag on his cigarette and tried to ignore the way his fingers shook.

“Okay,” he said, squeezing his free hand shut and opening it. Maybe stimming would prompt his brain to go brr and explain this. “Did I have a stroke? Maybe I was possessed?”

It was hard to tell. He ground out his cigarette and tossed the butt in the tray before venturing back inside. He was calm. He was more centered. He flicked on the kitchen fan to clear out the pickle stink and then he went and put on his coat and grabbed the plate.

Why was he doing that?

The compulsion led him three blocks before he realized where he was going.

Not far away from the safehouse he was in, some college freshman had wasted the Joker when the clown tried to drag him into a van. He had called the police, crying the whole time in shock about being a murderer.

Jason had not been on the scene. He had only heard through comms. He had been out of town when the Joker got out. He had been rushing back on his bike, heart pounding and sick with nerves at the thought of his family out there without him.

And then the fucker had failed to secure the first victim for whatever sick play he’d had in mind, and the poor out of town kid who had apparently never heard of the Joker was breathing a sigh of relief that ‘oh, this wasn’t like, a birthday clown? Whew, that’s alright then,’ previous guilt over ending a life all gone.

Jason liked that. It was hugely undignified that the Joker had been got by someone who didn’t even know who he was. If he’d known, it would have killed his ego. As it was, Jason had laughed himself nearly sick before barricading himself inside to read the file Timmers put together on Danny Fenton.

Well. If his gut said that he should deliver this horrific dish to Fenton as thanks for the murder, well…

Jason grimaced. He just wouldn’t be seen doing it. If Fenton thought it was an assassination attempt and called the cops, Jason would never fess up.

He broke into Fenton’s apartment, very glad that the guy was in class at the moment. He mourned the loss of his plate but honestly, this was the least destructive black out he’d had, so it was whatever. He put the pickle rolls in the fridge, looked around, and then left. He was done. He’d thanked Fenton, or whatever (maybe he’d attacked him, honestly, Jason didn’t know how he would react to finding that trash in his fridge.)

It could end now.

The next morning, Jason scrubbed away a yawn and realized that he had just scraped a mess of chopped snickers bars into a bowl that already had clouds of something white and -

He took out a piece and bit into it to confirm that it was perfectly cubed green apple.

“I am possessed,” Jason said in horror, looking around the counter to see what the Pit Madness had cooked up this time. Why did the fucking Lazarus Pit know these recipes?

The white shit was a mix of cool whip and vanilla pudding, apparently. There was an untouched bottle of caramel sauce waiting innocently.

“...Does that go in?” Jason wondered, vaguely horrified.

Well, maybe an evil witch was doing this to him. Bottoms up. He poured caramel in until it felt right, guided by what had to be someone else’s goddamn ancestors, and then mixed it all up with a spoon.

This looked a lot better than the last thing. Jason scraped it into a bowl and then stole a spoonful of it to try.

“Holy shit. It’s like eating a caramel apple,” he said, muffled around the food. He swallowed and genuinely considered taking more.

Nope! His gut said nope. This was another offering for–

“Hold up, offering?” Jason put it in the fridge, clingwrap on top, and let his mind be blown. He put his face in his hands and just reeled. He was making offerings for this motherfucker now. He opened his phone, intending to search the things he’d been blackout making and froze.

His lock screen was Danny Fenton’s police intake photo, looking pretty relaxed after he'd been told the booking was a formality.

“I don’t remember doing that!” Jason frantically changed it back to his old lock screen, a grimy alleyway with a hilariously shaped filth puddle and one of his favorite rats.

He snuck this dessert thing into Fenton’s fridge, collected his clean plate with some relief, and left. He didn't know if Fenton had eaten that shit or if he'd thrown it away, but at least he'd washed the plate.

“That was the last time,” Jason told himself, pacing around his room. He wasn’t– that was two days in a row now that he had a normal day, went out on patrol, went to bed, and woke up in his kitchen. It wasn’t going to happen again.

He chainsmoked all day to such a degree that Stephanie Brown saw him, whined “Dude,” in disbelief, and jumped off a building while holding her nose to get away from him. It was a fair reaction. He had a shower before patrol so that no one could make a connection between Jason, stinkiest man in Gotham today, and the Red Hood, a guy who owned a shower.

Patrol went fine. He caught himself veering past Fenton’s shitty apartment building twice but no one was nearby enough to call him out for it.

He went to bed and got a jumpscare because at some point of his most recent fugue state he'd gone out and bought a bunch of wedding magazines and made them into a nest. He made a roar of frustration and pushed them off the bed with only a twinge of interest in what that swan centerpiece was made of.

Jason went the fuck to sleep, determined to walk this off.

He woke up the next morning in his kitchen. “Cream cheese, again,” Jason complained. He gave the bowl he was mixing a furious stir and then shoved it in the fridge.

Cream cheese, chopped meat, and chopped green onion. He searched the internet to identify the fucker. This was a cheeseball.

…He frowned, thinking of the fugly mess in the bowl.

It was the larval form of a cheeseball, he amended.

Why did he know this shitty recipe.

Stomach tight with dread, he looked up the other things. Day one was a pickle roll. Day two was snickers salad.

These were all real Midwestern potluck dishes. He hadn't made them up. Why did the pit know these recipes?

The Snickers salad offended him as a concept and he bitterly regretted finding it delicious.

“Salad,” Jason repeated in aggrieved disbelief. It was good but it was no goddamn salad. “I could just make him a real salad. Will this end if I bring Fenton good food?”

It wasn't the worst idea. He put a pin in it.

Grimly, as if he was going off to war, Jason researched how to shape the ball. If he was doing this, which apparently he was for no goddamn reason, he was going to do it to perfection. When he was done he wrapped it up tight, got an assortment of crackers, and left it at Danny Fenton’s apartment with a sort of tired resignation that this might as well be happening.

This time was different. This time, Fenton was home.

Jason barely avoided being seen by rushing out the window over the sink and hiding from the immediate line of sight. He was, however, close enough to hear–

“Holy shit, is that a cheeseball? Who loves me?” and then some truly ghastly, wet crunching as Fenton tore through the crackers and cheeseball like a wild beast. It felt like being in a horror film. Jason very badly wanted to leave. Jason very badly wanted to crawl back inside and present himself for a scrap of Fenton’s approval.

What the fuck? What the fuck!

He fled. And this time, he decided to take action. He was going get out of this sick mind trap and-

“Nothing wrong with you, it's not a curse,” Zatanna said, bored about it. “Whatever is going on is safe, sane, consensual, and none of my business.” She portalled away before Jason could argue that it did not feel sane. He was having an entirely new category of mental breakdown and when one of the Bats found out about it, he was going to be a case study.

Fine. He gritted his jaw. New plan. Maybe he could beat the curse by showing it up.

He called out of crime for the day and ignored the confused commentary in the background of his phone call– can he do that? Of course he can, he’s the friggin’ boss– and spent it furiously researching. He needed a crowning achievement. He needed to find out what was sacred in this culinary tradition, master it, and then tell the compulsion to suck on bricks.

Casserole. The answer was a casserole.

Jason scrolled through dozens of recipes, scowling fiercely. That was no good. That offended his senses. He just knew that would be bland. He-

“Do I want to make that?” Jason asked aloud, puzzled by his fixation on the old-fashioned goulash casserole recipe. Worcestershire sauce– he didn’t have that in this safe house for sure. Beef, pasta, tomatoes… yeah, okay. This was the one. For no fucking reason at all, this was the one.

He went out shopping like he usually went on life-or-death missions, full of grim purpose.

He got back and assembled his ingredients. It was not exactly a challenge to follow the recipe. Jason turned off the stove top and froze in place. “I don’t have an ancestral pan,” he said, horrified. Holy fuck. How could he dare to give it in a regular baking pan- he had to get one. Where the fuck does one acquire an ancestral casserole pan on short notice?

Panicked, he called the Manor, hands shaking as he packed the whole thing up and stuffed it in the fridge to keep it food safe until he could bake it.

Bruce answered, sounding a little choked up. “Hello, Jason, so glad-”

He hung up. He texted Tim. “I need you to steal something for me from the Manor.”

“You’re allowed in, you gigantic freak,” Tim wrote back.

Jason did some meditative breathing and resorted to outright pleading immediately. “What do you want? I will give you whatever you want. I just need an ancestral casserole pan.”

“I am NOT stealing from Alfred’s kitchen,” Tim wrote back. Which was fair. “Drake ancestral pan alright?”

Jason thought about it. It was still a family pan, sorta. By the transitive property, and that was a perfectly good property. He sent back a thumbs up, his GPS pin, and the word “Hurry.”

A while later, Tim dropped off a glass dish, loudly said “I don’t wanna know,” and slammed Jason’s door shut.

Fine. He was already moving his stuff from the now-cold frying pan into the casserole dish. It went into the oven from there. Jason spent the bake time trying to think of new coping mechanisms, because apparently smoking wasn’t up to this level of mental fuckery.

He waited out the bake time. He let it cool enough to be safe to travel with but hot enough to deliver warm. Jason grappled to Danny Fenton's apartment for the fourth time in four days, let himself in, and nearly jumped out of his boots when he realized that Fenton was in the kitchen watching him.

“Hey,” Fenton said. He was sitting on his counter in his pajamas, eating ice cream out of the bucket with a spoon. He was certifiable. Jason wanted to cross the room and kiss whatever Fenton would let him. Hands, face, feet, whatever.

Wow, weird.

“...Hey,” Jason said, way too late.

Fenton crunched down on his ice cream. “...That a casserole?” He said.

Jason nodded wordlessly, feeling very grateful that he had his hood on. He put the casserole down on the counter. He took a step backwards to flee.

Fenton pointed at Jason with the spoon, wholly unintimidated by the heavily armed man who'd broken into his house. “This is a proposal.”

Oh. Oh, motherfucking shitsocks. Jason felt weak through the knees. It was. Why was- why was he proposing??

Fenton took in his shock with a detached air. “Huh,” he said, like he'd learned something from this. “Um, it's nice of you and all. Have you been like, fixated on me for a while or- ohhh. I avenged you, didn't I?” He dropped the spoon in his ice cream carton and slapped both his palms down on the countertop. “He killed you? That sucks, man,” Fenton empathized. “I get it. I think if someone smashed the portal with a hammer I'd be down on one knee.”

Jason's brain was simply not running any program any longer. He gaped. He wasn't coherent enough to ask why Danny knew he'd been murdered by the Joker, but he had his shit together well enough to be fixated on the point.

“Um, it's not usually me being chased,” Fenton said. He made a face. “I… huh, I think I'm flattered.” He very obviously gave Jason a once-over. “I suppose this is your way of showing that you're a provider.” He heaved himself off the counter and went to investigate the casserole, sniffing and lifting the lid. “Oh, fuuuuuuck,” Danny groaned. He sniffed appreciatively. “Good demonstration of your husband material, t-b-h.”

Jason resisted the urge to tackle him to the ground.

“That's the good stuff.” Fenton closed it back up, but not before giving his ice cream spoon a considering look.

Oh, yuck. This guy was so grungly. Jason needed him badly. He shuddered.

Fenton looked at him.

Jason looked back.

“Do you wanna try moving in and see how we get on?” Fenton offered. “Take it slow, no wedding just yet.”

“Absolutely.” Jason full-body twitched with just how eager he was. “How do you feel about swans?”

“Neutral,” Danny said, after a brief moment of consideration. “I like stars, though.”

Okay, so that would be their wedding theme.

Jason only realized he'd said that aloud when Fenton's eyebrows shot up. Mortified and really wondering what was wrong with him, Jason offered a weak smile.

Fenton made a considering noise. He crossed his arms. He looked Jason up and down. “...Can you grill?” He asked. “Like, beer chicken?”

[blanze]

I agree 💜 Btw you're right @starielluvsgeekmythos , it's just like shadow work. In fact this entire thing was inspired by an oracle deck, the Oracle of Pluto... which would be a perfect excuse to draw a witchy Nico with the neon purple-pink deck and a dead serious face huh.

Also @percicosoftcore "Shadows being meant to be understood, not feared" is itself a metaphor, for Nico himself (Phoe if you're reading this, you're spot on lmao). In HOO Nico himself has experienced being feared, mocked, othered, because of what other people think he's capable of. He himself was a walking Shadow everyone else avoided or ran away from, and way back when, he learned to accept that darker side, never fear it, even if others did.

Add to it that this is supposed to happen sometime after HoH and maybe during/before BoO, and this Nico still goes out into Percy's cabin and actively tries to comfort him, while trying to guide Percy through the motions, trying to speak his language, being cryptic af with his feelings but really damn obvious at the same time, and even with all that heartbreak and pain and anger and fear he has been carrying so far, he still hugs Percy while silently saying "please, please accept me too. Embrace me, too".

Nico knew exactly what Percy went through in HoH, how Tartarus pushes you to be your absolute worst just to survive, and just how badly it would affect him. After all, Percy is one stubborn kid that would absolutely beat himself up over what he did to that goddess, having no compassion towards himself. And you cannot possibly convince me that if things had gone just a little bit differently, Nico wouldn't have had the opportunity and compassion of stopping the nonesense, and Percy would have actually listened, for once.

It was supposed to be done for day 2 of @percico-nicercy-events : Powerful Percy and Nico.

Forgot to say: The Shadow is actually a Jungian concept, and I though that out of everyone in PJO, Nico would easily be the one most in touch with that side of himself!

[eudikot]

Fun fact about my initial Mob Psycho 100 watching experience - that was the first time I ever used Crunchyroll and I had no clue how it worked... I ended up starting the series by watching the first episode of season 2 and only realized once I finished watching season 1