#My birthday is in November I hope it's not long into the new Year. Maybe it could be a late birthday present from the universe to me.

[grellssquishyhusband]

Ok ok so I watched the trailer!

The style looks a good bit different. It's much more modern. The noses seem a little lower down, the eyes farther up and bigger, and the shapes are overall a little softer. Obviously the shadows and lighting seem much improved. I have no problem with this. Black Butler is very very early 2010s anime and it could really use a new coat of paint imo. I like the anime but it's nowhere as pretty as Tobosos inks and this new trailer is as good as I could possibly imagine a new Black Butler anime looking. I really like it!! I love the use of cgi too. Very nice. I've not seen the public school arc because I personally don't like Ceil and I only really read parts of the manga that interest me and Ceil in school does not. Either way I'm mega excited for when it comes out!!

It actually looks almost identical to a dream I had a few months back where a new Black Butler season dropped and it was all digital and heavily shaded. Wild. Guess I'm a profit. Drew 2 of the NPCs in a DND campaign last week and they both died next session. I should buy a lottery ticket

[sweetcheeksschemmenti]

Happy Birthday, Cowgirl!

Melissa Schemmenti x fem oc

Summary: You wake up expecting it to be another forgotten birthday. Melissa makes sure it’s one for the books.

WC: 2.2k

Today is my 25th birthday! I wrote this for myself and figured someone else might enjoy it, too.

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Growing up, your parents never made your birthday a big deal and you didn’t understand it. All of your friends… and even your brother… got to celebrate their big day with cupcakes and parties filled with presents and excitement. Not you. November 5th was just another day as far as your family was concerned. Occasionally they would remember and mumble a simple ‘happy birthday’ as you walked out the door to walk to school, but there was no fanfare. Despite the fact that you always went out of your way to celebrate the birthdays of those close to you, you’d grown accustomed to not celebrating your own.

You had been dating Melissa Schemmenti for almost a year when your 28th birthday rolled around. Normally on a Saturday morning you would wake up with a mouthful of red hair and a hand full your girlfriend’s breast. Unfortunately, work had sent you to Nashville for a truly unnecessary- yet mandatory- conference, so instead you woke up alone in a ridiculously themed Margaritaville hotel suite. Jimmy Buffett himself stared down at you from the wall like a tacky Jesus portrait at your Grandma’s house. You glanced at your phone on the nightstand to see a missed call from the redhead. What the hell was she doing awake at six in the morning on a Saturday? There was no voicemail so you picked up the phone and called her back. Your brows knit together in confusion as you were sent straight to voicemail, something that very rarely happened. Assuming she had put her phone on ‘do not disturb’ and gone back to bed, you shrugged and got up to get ready for the day.

Once showered and dressed, you grabbed a granola bar and banana from the mini fridge and sat in front of the television to watch the morning news. After listening to a couple of local stories you tuned out the noise and stared out the window as you ate. The granola bar was stale and the banana wasn’t quite ripe… pretty on brand for your birthday. You gave up a couple of bites in and tossed them in the trash, opting for a half-eaten candy bar from your purse instead. With a deep sigh, you gathered your things for work and headed towards the door. You paused to look at yourself in the mirror once more before you left, staring a little too long at the bags under your eyes. Time was already leaving its mark on you. “Happy birthday, Y/N,” you whispered to yourself before you left for the day.

Around noon the team split from the conference for lunch with plans to return at two. Instead of joining your coworkers, you decided to grab take out from the restaurant at the hotel and eat in your room with hopes of maybe getting to talk to your girlfriend too. You scarfed down your hot chicken sandwich before dialing Melissa’s number; again, it went straight to voicemail. Disappointed, you tossed your phone onto the bed with a huff and sat on the edge with your head in your hands. You had hoped for at least a ‘happy birthday’ text from Melissa, but now you were starting to think that even she didn’t want to celebrate your day. You set an alarm and laid down for a nap thinking it might make the day go by faster.

The alarm blared and you sat straight up with a gasp- something Melissa always teased you about. ‘It’s like you remember ya left the stove on or somethin’,’ she’d mumble. It had only been two days without her, but you missed her. You decided to try the phone one more time before heading back to work, disappointed when you heard the voicemail message yet again. In a bit of a grumpy mood, you left the room and met back up with your coworkers.

“What’s that face for, Y/N? You look like someone kicked your puppy,” Seth said as you approached. You rolled your eyes and shrugged.

“Sorry, my face doesn’t have an inside voice. I’m alright. Ready to get back to it?” You straightened yourself out and slapped on a smile.

Seth and the rest of the team nodded and followed you out to the van knowing better than to question you. The rest of the work day dragged by as slow as molasses. Luckily, you were able to score a new deal on printer paper for the office through one of the new connections you made; it was a small something, but it brightened your day a little. By the end of the work day everyone was ready to head to Broadway for the annual bar crawl. You told Seth you’d catch up with the team in a few hours and caught an Uber back to the hotel. The day had really bummed you out and you just wanted to sleep for a while before forcing yourself to be social with your drunk coworkers.

Just as you sat down on the bed to call Melissa one last time, the landline rang. You blinked at it for a second before picking it up. “…Hello?”

“Hello, is this Miss Y/L/N?”

“This is she.” You toed your shoes off as you spoke, setting them next to the nightstand.

“Good evening! This is Jasmine from the front desk. We have a guest down here that wishes to visit by the name of Seth Kagan. Do you give your permission for us to give him your room number?”

You shake your head in confusion. Why wouldn’t Seth just text you? “Uh, yeah. That’s fine. Thank you for checking.”

Minutes later, there was a knock at the door and you knew it had to be Seth. You swung the door open without looking and held it for him to enter. “Don’t just stand there, man, come on.” Your eyes were on the floor.

“Well that ain’t no way to greet your girlfriend after she flew six hours to see ya,” Melissa chuckled.

Your eyes widened as you finally looked up to see the redhead standing in the doorway with an arm full of flowers and a small square box. “Baby?! What are y-, how did.. hello?!”

Melissa entered the room and set everything down before turning to face you with open arms. You eagerly wrapped yourself around her in a tight embrace. She felt like home, a comfort you’d not known until you fell in love with her. She held you close and pressed sweet kisses to your head. “Happy birthday, sweetheart,” she whispered.” You pulled away just enough to capture her lips in a passionate kiss, moaning quietly when she nipped at your bottom lip.

The kiss broke and you leaned back just a little. “Mel, what is this!?” You gently hit her shoulder as tears welled up in your eyes, her arms still wrapped around you.

She smiled, a twinkle in her eye. The way she looked at you made you actually believe that she hung the moon and stars in the sky just for your enjoyment. “It’s your birthday, ya dork! I wanted to surprise you. We brought cake and presents.” Gently and lovingly, she wiped the tears from the corners of your eyes.

You cocked your head. “We? Who’s ‘we’?”

Just then, there was another knock at the door. Melissa released you from her grasp and pointed towards the door. “Go on, open it.”

You moved towards the door quickly and opened it, peeking out from behind the door to see an empty hallway. You’d expected to see a couple of your coworkers, but there was nothing. “Huh…”

“SURPRISE!!” Your friends, chosen family, and Seth shouted as they stepped in front of the door. Barbara, Jacob, Janine, and a handful of other folks from home had made the journey from Philly to Nashville… for you. For your birthday. You were in shock. No one ever put in this kind of effort for your birthday.

“Oh my gosh, come in! Wow… you guys! This is… this is too much,” you stammered as they all entered the suite, tears streaming down your face.

The small group greeted you with hugs and kind words, handing off gifts to Melissa for you to open later. Thanks to Janine and Jacob, your suite was transformed with cowgirl decorations and a birthday banner in the matter of minutes. Shots were poured into little cowboy boot shot glasses and passed around to everyone. Melissa held hers up, an arm wrapped around your waist. “Cheers to the birthday girl,” she shouted and everyone cheered in response.

You gleefully mingled with your loved ones, occasionally meeting eyes with Melissa across the room, causing a delightful pink to grace your cheeks. Once the sun had set, the group made moves to head down to Broadway to hit the bars. Barbara handed you a bag before she left, “we’ll see you down there, honey. Drinks are on Sea Barbara tonight!” You took the bag and thanked her as the group left, leaving just you and Melissa.

Melissa sat on the edge of the bed and crossed her legs. “You havin’ a good birthday, hon?”

You leaned on the back of the couch with the bag still in hand as you thought about your day. “I really am. Thank you for putting all of this together, baby. I’m… a little overwhelmed, honestly. No one has ever done anything like this for me. How’d you get everyone down here?” You set the bag down and stepped towards your girlfriend, straddling her lap.

She held grabbed your hips and pulled you down onto her lap, leaning forward to kiss you. “ I know a guy, “she smirked. “And you don’t have to thank me, Y/N. You deserve to be celebrated.”

“Ya know… in all my 28 years, I’ve never felt loved on my birthday. It’s always just been another day on the calendar. You’ve changed that for me… that’s something special.”

“Like I said, you deserve to be celebrated. I love you, hon. As long as I’m around you’ll never have another shitty birthday. I promise.” She made a cross on her heart to show she meant it. And you believed her. You hummed in response and raked your fingers through her fiery locs before you leaned in for another kiss. Melissa immediately deepened it, darting her tongue out to taste you.

In the middle of the lazy make out session, Melissa’s phone buzzed with a text from Barbara- signaling that it was time to head to the bars. You chuckled as your lips parted. “Oh, so NOW your phone works, huh?”

She swatted at your ass. “I’m sorry! I did try to call you at the ass cracking of dawn to be the first to wish ya happy birthday, but you were asleep! Then my phone was on airplane mode until we got here because I forgot to turn it off.” She gave you a smile she knew you couldn’t resist and you shook your head with a grin.

“You were still the first one to wish me a happy birthday…. I forgive you.” You placed one more kiss to her lips before you stood up and smoothed out your shirt. You took Melissa’s hand and started pulling her towards the door. She paused and picked up the bag Barbara had handed you earlier, placing it in your hands again.

“Open it.” You did as told and pulled the tissue paper out. Inside was a bright pink cowgirl hat that matched the decorations in the room. The smile on your face grew, so much so that your cheeks began to hurt. Melissa took the hat from your hands and placed it on your head, fluffing your hair for you before turning you towards to mirror to see. “Oh this is perfect,” you laughed.

Melissa snatched the hat off your head and put it on her own. You gasped and turned towards her, “Melissa! Do you know the cowboy hat rule?!” She shook her head and you bit your lip. Nine times out of ten, Melissa was the leader in the bedroom. Your cheeks warmed at the thought of this night being the one time out of ten. “If you put on a cowgirl’s hat… you have to ride the cowgirl.”

She pulled you in for a heated kiss. “That’s one of the few rules I’m willing to follow,” she whispered in your ear before nibbling at your lobe, earning a whimper from you.

“Later, baby. Gotta at least have a few drinks on Broadway tonight.” You took your hat back and settled it on your head. “Can’t lose the hat. A cowgirl can’t ride without it,” you winked at her, enjoying the blush that spread over her cheeks.

Melissa smacked your ass as you walked out the door. “Oh, don’t you worry. I’m not lettin’ that hat outta my sight! We gotta find a screw driver or something on the way back to take Jimmy off the wall though… I don’t know if I can uh… focus with Mr. Margaritaville staring me down.”

You pulled a screwdriver from your jacket pocket and held it up. “Already ahead of ya, baby.” You laughed together as you walked down the hall hand in hand.

No more shitty birthdays.

[jflemings]

PROMPT 18 JFLEM

— out of the woods

prompt: 18 “i’m setting you free” from this post

a/n: i had this fic almost done and then tumblr deleted all of it and i waited too long to re write it so here’s a way more angsty version 🙂 also y’all can thank @pixiesfz for the angst. its jail time for the absolutely CRIMINAL jess angst that was posted xx

“you’re being ridiculous!”

“i’m being ridiculous? jesus christ jessie, you never even brought up the fact that you were thinking about moving to another fucking continent until you accepted the offer!” you exclaim loudly, anger simmering in your chest as you follow her into her bedroom.

you two had been going at it for the past hour and you were quickly running out of patience. she had brought up the topic of leaving chelsea a little while ago but you didn’t anticipate her moving to a whole different league, especially when the two of you seemed to be settling down.

“i didn’t think it would matter!” she says defensively, turning on her heel to face you “you were all for it when i brought it up before”

you scoff loudly “yeah, all for you moving to a different club in the wsl! jess how could you not bring this up with me?”

the canadian turns her back on you once again as she opens up her closet to grab some shirts she knows she won’t be wearing. she practically rips them off their hangers and carelessly throws them onto her bed “i didn’t think i needed to. it’s my future”

you’re taken aback by her justification. she’s right, it is her future, but considering the conversations the two of you have been having since the world cup you had assumed that you would be included in it, or at the very least spoken to about it.

the two of you had talked about moving in together and even gone as far as looking at places that were within your budget, so for her to suddenly drop the news that she was moving to the nwsl was coming from nowhere. or so you thought.

“how long had you been thinking about this?” you ask sternly

the midfielder sighs and throws another shirt onto her bed “since november”

your stomach drops and betrayal quickly puts out the flame of anger flicking within you. your brow furrows and your hands drop in defeat “november?” you question quietly “i was looking at places for us to live and you were thinking about leaving?!”

“it’s the best thing for my career!” she continues to argue as she turns around with her arms thrown out wide “it’s not a personal thing, y/n”

“what about the best thing for us” you ask bitterly “what about our future” your words are coated in venom as you speak to her, the hope of this turning into a civil conversation being thrown out the window.

she looks at you with a blank look on her face, the silence suddenly deafening you as the two of you stand just staring at eachother. the longer she takes to answer, the more sick you feel. you’ve always encouraged jessie to put herself first, always told her to follow her heart, but it seems like you had been stupid to assume that whatever road she took would always lead back to you. in your head, the future of your relationship was well and truely concrete: you’d move in together, get married, maybe have a kid or two and end up loving eachother for the rest of your time on earth.

jessie shuts her eyes tightly just as you feel your own well up with tears.

you had been wrong and she was proving it to you right now.

“right” you laugh bitterly, digging around in your purse for a polaroid photo that you carried everywhere. it was of the two of you sharing a drunk kiss at zećira’s for her birthday last year. sam had walked up to you with a polaroid camera mid-kiss and captured the alcohol fueled pda with a loud laugh. jessie had pulled away from you in a daze, her cheeks flushed and eyes glazed over without a care in the world that she had been caught on film in what she would call a compromising position.

you threw the photo onto her bed on top of the numerous shirts “since you’re packing up your life and throwing things away that you aren’t going to be needing you can take that. i don’t want it anymore” you say quietly, malice and hurt present in your tone.

jessie’s eyes widen as you turn on your heel “what are you doing”

“i’m setting you free” you say as you approach her bedroom door for the last time “hope portland has everything that london can’t give you”

[holdmytesseract]

Could you please do tom x reader where they are friends to lovers? Maybe the pretend boyfriend that turns real? Smutty and fluffy?

Hide & Seek

Tom Hiddleston x fem!Reader

Summary: Tom asks you to accompany him to Ben's birthday party. On the way there, you get stuck in traffic. A misunderstanding reveals long harboured feelings and things come how they had to come...

Warnings: mutual pining, thirst, fluff, jelousy? a misunderstanding, smuttish/suggestive stuff

Word Count: 3,1k

a/n: You guys wanted it and I am a woman of my words, so... Here it is! 🫡

I hope you like what I wrote for you @huntress-artemiss . 🥰 And I hope that everybody else enjoys it of course, too!

Tags: @lady-rose-moon @muddyorbsblr @smolvenger @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @jennyggggrrr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @evelyn-kingsley @vanilla-daydreaming @loz-3 @fictive-sl0th @lovingchoices14 @lokidbadguy @icytrickster17 @lulubelle814 @mandywholock1980 @november-rayne @chantsdemarins @simping-for-marvel @lou12346789 @lokiforever @multifandom-worlds @hisredheadedgoddess28 @vbecker10 @jaidenhawke @km-ffluv @crimson25 @cakesandtom @buttercupcookies-blog @salvinaa @javagirl328 @dustychinchilla74 @frzntrx @coldnique

Masterlist °☆• Hiddles Masterlist

You heard the familiar 'ding' sound of your phone; announcing the arrival of a new message. With a hairpin pinned between your teeth and one hand in your hair, you quickly scooted over to your little make-up table, on which you had left your phone. Tapping on the screen, you immediately saw the message popping up.

'I'm here, darling. Are you ready? x'

You smiled, fixated your hair and quickly unlocked your phone; texting back.

'Almost. :) Gimme five mins, Tommy. x'

Not wasting any time, you applied some decent make-up, gave yourself a once over in the full-length mirror, grabbed the things you'd need and made your way towards the main door of your small, cosy house.

You had promised Tom - your best friend since you were teenagers, to accompany him to the birthday party of Ben. He didn't want to go alone - and you couldn't say no, of course. You never could say no when it came to Tom. Never. You'd anything for him. He was one of the most important people in your life. He was your sunshine on a rainy day. Your lighthouse in the raging storms. A safe haven to which you could always return.

A lot of people told you that this friendship wasn't going to last. After all, Tom was an actor. A famous actor. And you were just... you. But you proved them all wrong. The friendship lasted; survived every sharp turn, bump and crash on the way. A deep bond was formed; stronger than everything you ever experienced - and yet you were just best friends. Sure there had been opportunities to take this friendship to another level and turn it into something more, but neither of you took the opportunity.

You couldn't deny, though, that you had developed strong feelings for the handsome Brit over the years. Romantic feelings. How could somebody not fall for a man like Tom? He was a charming, kind, funny, talented, handsome gentleman with a heart of pure gold. You didn't dare to confess your feelings, because you didn't want to lose your best friend. Better have him as a best friend in your life than not at all, right?

So, the years flew by. Boyfriends came and boyfriends went. Just like with Tom. It was a heart wrenching pain whenever you met Tom's new girlfriend - and you hated it, but what were you supposed to do? All you wanted for him was happiness; but neither of you seemed to find happiness - at least when it came down to romantic relationships...

Another 'ding' of your mobile ripped you out of your thoughts. Shaking your head softly and trying to focus again; you opened the door and stepped out - only to almost stumble back inside.

A soft, cool breeze brushed past you; swirling your beige dress around your knees. The smell of rain hit your nose and some dark clouds hung in the sky; shielded the sun from shining down on you.

That wasn't what took your breath away, though. It was Tom, who stood not far away from you. Just a few meters; legs crossed, leaning casually against his black Jaguar with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his suit trousers.

Speaking of trousers... He was wearing a dark blue suit. Black dress shoes shone against the wet pavement; suit trousers hugging his long legs and hips snugly - held together by a black leather belt. The matching dark blue shirt wasn't any less tight; tailored perfectly for his lean yet strong upper body and forcing the small buttons to hold on for dear life. A tie and suit jacket in the exact same colour completed his look.

You swallowed a thick lump; had a hard time to control yourself and the rapidly beating heart within your chest. Luckily, Tom wasn't looking your way and didn't notice your distress. His gaze was directed to the street as he watched the cars drive by. The position showed off his ridiculously beautiful face; sharp jawline, high cheekbones - peppered with soft and fuzzy looking facial hair of his three-day beard. Tom's wild, blonde-brown curls had gotten so long; a hairsbreadth away from touching his broad shoulders. He looked like a prince, straight out of a fairytale book; combined with the perfect image of a photo shoot.

You bit your lip painfully hard; trying desperately to suppress the moan which threatened to slip past your lips.

It was insanely hot - and Tom didn't even notice the impact this had on you.

"Hey, Tommy," you finally greeted him; attracting his attention. Sure, you could've stared longer and admire the fine man he was, but you didn't want him to accidentally look and notice...

His head whipped around towards you; baby blues meeting your Y/E/C ones. "Hello, darling." A smile spread across his face, as he made his way over to you; giving you a hug. The hugs he gave his other friends didn't last quite as long as the hugs he gave you... You just didn't notice.

"Are you ready?" You nodded; smiling. "I was born ready. You should know that by now." You loved to tease him from time to time. Tom just chuckled; shaking his head. "I won't start now to recount the times you weren't ready. Let's go." You just giggled and followed your best friend to the car.

Being the gentleman the Brit was, he held the door open for you to sit inside his Jaguar. Once you were both seated, Tom started the engine and drove off towards the party.

Unfortunately, was the traffic on this fine Friday evening very bad; causing the both of you to get stuck. Like... Really stuck. Everything stood still. The little highway you were driving on was closed.

"Ugh, great... Now we'll be surely late to the party..." Tom gave you an apologetic look. "Apologies, Y/N/N... I should've taken the other route when I had the chance. Now it's too late... Can you text Ben?" He asked you, handing you his phone; gaze fixated on the cars in front of him. You shook your head, "No need to apologise, Tommy. You couldn't know. But yeah, I'm gonna text him." and unlocked Tom's phone as if it was your own. Not that you knew each other's password by heart... "Thank you, darling."

You tapped on WhatsApp, searched Ben's contact and entered the chat. Of course you tried hard to not read the last messages he received and sent to give your best friend some privacy, but when your eyes caught a glimpse of a text just above the text box you were writing your text in, you couldn't help but to look. You knew it was wrong, but before you were able to stop yourself, it was already too late and your gaze wandered...

Ben: So... You're gonna take her finally home then, right??

Tom: What, I- Ben stop that. I... I can't just do that. I don't think she'd want that... Me...

Ben: Friend... Are you kidding me? It's obvious she wants you.

Tom: You, uh, think so?

Ben: Know so. Shoot your shot, man, before it's too late...

You didn't have to read more. Swallowing hard, you stared at the messages for a moment. You knew exactly who Tom and Ben were obviously talking about... Chloe. A woman Tom had met on set a few months back. She was - well, is one of the costume designers and therefore saw Tom quite often. Someday, they started to talk during a break and well... According to Tom the sparks had been flying. He had told his best friend everything, of course - while you wished he hadn't. You tried to be happy for him - like you always did when he met a new woman, but... As much as you tried, your head never could win the battle against your heart. It was an undefeatable opponent. A invulnerable fortress.

You never met Chloe - and yet you despised her wholeheartedly. It wasn't fair, of course, but love had turned you into a monster.

"Y/N? Hey, Y/N/N."

You flinched and snapped out of your thoughts as Tom's soft velvet voice urged to your ears. "Is everything alright?" You blinked, nodded, "Yeah, sure. Sorry, I, uh, just drifted off." and sent the text. Giving him a fake smile, you exited the app and handed him his phone back. "Are you sure?" "Yep. Everything's good, Tommy."

You hated to lie to him, but you couldn't just tell him the truth now, could you?

'Hey, Tommy, I'm sorry but I spied on your texts and saw that one message, saying that you are going to obviously shag that bitch Chloe and now I'm kinda jealous, because it should be me instead!'

Nope, certainly not. But you also couldn't shake that thought of. It occupied you. A lot. Your brain thought about it non-stop; causing your heart to crack and shatter even more with every passing minute. You could not stand the thought of another woman in Tom's life. In his home. His bed. His heart.

You tried your best to put on a brave face, but your best friend wasn't blind. Neither stupid. He knew you better than you probably knew yourself...

At first the Brit didn't say anything. Given the fact that you clearly told and signalled him that you didn't wish to talk. But at some point, an undeniable, unpleasant tension started to built up between you both. Almost like an imaginary wall... It felt like every untold word, every unspoken feeling had pent up over the last weeks, months - years and were now about to culminate in the middle of an upcoming rain storm. Right here, right now; while being stuck in traffic.

Tom just couldn't take it any longer. He needed to know what had turned everything upside down all of a sudden. Why everything felt so wrong at this very moment.

"Y/N?" He asked you carefully once again. "I know you said everything is okay - and I feel that you clearly don't wish to speak to me, but-" "No, really, Tom. It's all good," you interrupted him once more; giving him another fake smile - and you could tell at the look of his face, that he had seen immediately through that fake smile. But before he was able to say something, you intervened; only digging the gaping hole in your heart deeper.

"Did you go on a date with Chloe?"

Tom frowned; was clearly confused of the sudden change of topic. "Y-Yes, but-" "Great. How did it go?" "Um, great, I-I guess, but why are you-" "Good. That's good. I'm happy for you Tom." You swallowed hard; feeling your heart scream in pain - but no matter how hard it hurt you, you just had to know what happened between them. You wanted to spare yourself the double gut punch. Might as well feel all the pain at once.

"But, Y/N... Why-" You chose not to leave him any space to question you and just get over with it. "Did you kiss her?" "W-What?" "Touch her?" "T-Touch her? Why would I-" "Sleep with her?" "I-" "Was she at least good in bed?" You kept on bombarding your best friend with questions. "Y/N-" "Was she, huh?" "Y/N, I-" "Did she made you cu-"

"Y/N!"

Tom suddenly exploded; screamed out your name and slamming his hands on the steering wheel of the Jag. He clearly had heard enough; couldn't listen to this any longer.

You went silent; didn't even dare to breathe for a second.

"I didn't sleep with her! I didn't touch her! Goddammit, I didn't even kiss her! Nothing happened between us! Nothing!" The Brit took a deep breath; trying to calm himself down again. You just stared at him; mouth closed shut.

"Yes, we met. Yes, it was great. But I wouldn't even call it a date. We talked and drank a glass of wine. Nothing more." You swallowed hard. "B-But, I-I thought you and Chloe were-" "A thing? No. We're not, Y/N." You blinked; were quite stunned at the sudden turnout of this situation - and once more was your mouth quicker to speak than your brain was able to think and so it came how it had to come...

"About who did you and Ben talk about then in your chat, if not Chloe?"

It slipped past your lips - and you immediately regretted it; afraid of Tom's reaction.

Tom's eyes widened to the size of plates; hands twitching to grip the steering wheel tight, while his cheeks turned beet red. The Brit had not thought about this conversation he had with his his friend - and now you knew.

"Shit, Tom, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to spy on your chats, I-I just saw it a-and was wondering about who-"

"You."

You blinked once more. "W-What?"

Tom turned to face you again; oceanic blue eyes meeting your Y/E/C ones.

Now or never, Tom thought.

"You, Y/N. We were talking about you."

You could've sworn that your heart skipped more than just one beat at his words. "M-Me?" You squeaked out; pointing at yourself. "Me?" "Yes. You. And the party today." Your eyes widened; jaw slacking in disbelief. "Y-You wanted to... Me?" Tom nodded; smiling nervously. "I always just wanted you, darling. No other woman on this earth is able to compare to you. My heart fell for you a long time ago. It belongs to you. Always has. Always will. I was just too afraid to tell-" Before he was able to finish his sentence, you had pulled him closer by the lapels of his stupidly sexy suit jacket and literally slammed your lips on his.

Tom was definitely shocked and overwhelmed at first, but he immediately relaxed; sighed in the kiss and pulled you as close as somehow possible with the car interior being quite a bit in the way.

All suppressed feelings and emotions finally broke free and melted into that very kiss. It felt like getting hit by an 18-wheeler truck and floating through heaven at the same time. It was a beautiful, chaotic mess, which the both of you enjoyed every second of - and tempted you to indulge into kiss after kiss after kiss.

You felt how your heartbeat quickened at the feeling of love and desire for the man beside you, as they were finally able to flood your body; veins pulsating with a dangerous mixture of endorphins and oxytocin - and Tom's musky smell, combined with the fruity blood orange and leather touch of his perfume didn't help at all. It made everything worse, without a doubt. Resisting Tom had been always difficult - but now that the chains were broken, it was impossible. And why should you stop yourself? There was no holding back anymore. The cards laid on the table.

You pushed Tom back into the driver seat; catching him by surprise. Your hand started to play with his tie; quickly undoing it. Tom's eyes watched your fingers tracing the buttons of his shirt; steadily wandering lower as he was swallowing hard. "Darling, w-what... what are you- Woah!" Tom had clearly anticipated that your hand would land at a place where he had often imagined it to be late at night, when he was all alone at home. But it didn't. You gave his belt a soft tug, but then moved your hand over his thigh and down to where the lever was, which allowed his seat to slide back; bringing even more space between him and the steering wheel.

Another thing the Brit hadn't seen coming - just like the next move you made.

Within the blink of an eye, you had slipped out of your high heels and elegantly swung yourself over; sitting on your former best friend's lap. It caused your dress to ride up your thighs - and Tom's eyes to widen. He literally froze in place; realising in which position you just brought yourself and him. You placed your hands on his shoulders, tugging at his suit jacket; trying to get him to shrug it off - what he did. "Y/N, w-what are you doing?" Tom knew of course very well what you were doing, but he needed to hear it. "What does it look like? I'm, uh, saving the car and riding you instead."

Tom's eyes almost popped out of his head at your bold words. Nevertheless, he couldn't deny that it stirred something deep inside him. And his dress pants.

"Darling, I-I don't know if we should do this here, I-" You raised a playful eyebrow at him.

"Oh, Tommy please... Don't be so shy now. You can't tell me that you never imagined doing this..." You leaned in closer; whispering into his ear: "Me. On top of you." The Brit couldn't help the moan which slipped past his lips. "I-I did, I-," he panted out; feeling one of your hands opening his belt; metal clinking. "See? Besides, the windows are tinted. Nobody's going to see this. Plus, we are stuck anyway, so... What are you waiting for?" You asked in a hushed voice; tracing your lips down his pulse point. "Touch me."

Another breathy moan escaped Tom's lips; big hands flying up to grab your bare thighs and working on slipping your dress even higher up your hips. His warm, slightly sweaty palms sent a shiver down your spine; nerve ends sizzling with desire.

"I-I've wanted this for so long, now, darling." Tom whispered; pressing his forehead against yours. "And now that I can finally have it - you... It's so surreal and- Oh fuck..." Tom's hands started to tremble; eyebrows slanting and mouth forming into a perfect 'o' as you lowered yourself on him. Only your lips messily entangling themselves with his seemed to bring him out of his haze.

"I love you, Tommy. I love you. I always have," you whimpered; body jolting with love and pleasure. His soft beard scratched the skin of your cheek, as he buried his head in the crook of your neck; lips marking you as his.

"I love you, too, darling. With all my heart. I'm yours." He lifted his head once more; glassy blue eyes gazing deeply into your soul. "Now let me love you. Let me make love to you." You smiled deliriously and raked your fingers through his long, blonde-brown curls. "I beg you to, Tommy."

And when he started to move, the world around you faded. All you could think and feel was Tom.

[ashen-vulture]

A Vulture In Therapy #3

The Appointment (Well, In A Few Months)

ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:15 AM

Hey so guess who just heard back from Doctor Erian's clinic after a month of waiting in the dark. I'm not scheduled until November, though Probably was too hopeful of me to think I'd have an appointment before my birthday

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:17 AM Nice! Do you have an appointment then? Oh, heck, that's a ways off ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:18 AM November 14th, yeah But I guess it gives me time to prepare So… what should I expect going in? I've heard mixed things about Doctor Erian… tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:19 AM Oh boy that's the big question isn't it So for me, and I think for a lot of other people, he went right into the gatekeepy "one letter from a physician, two letters from psychologists, live as your preferred species for however many months" ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:21 AM He can't be too bad right? Oh yeah I've heard about the "live as preferred species" thing. Not sure he'll accept my response but that's one of the few things I am prepared for. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:22 AM The thing is, I'm pretty sure it's all a secret test of your resolve and how well you match what you want He started hesitating once I got up in his face about how someone is supposed to live as a dragon for an entire year And he folded like a towel once I threatened to bite him But I saw him smirk, I think it was that I said 'bite' specifically ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:26 AM Huh. I guess I have some respect for that. Maybe a bitter respect but… uhg, I dunno, it's complicated. Like there are some things I certainly cannot physically do with my human body and that's the whole reason I want what I want. I really don't like arguing. This is gonna feel like my gallery capstone all over again. "No seriously I do know what I'm talking about, see it from this perspective" (strangling the Imposter Syndrome demon in the back of my head)

tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:27 AM Yeah I don't know if he would have approved it if I'd shown any kind of doubt But maybe it's different for non-predator theriotypes idk ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM Maybe. I wonder how they'll handle a scavenger. I guess there's only one way to know. Oh, do you know when you'll get your first prescription fill? Does it take a long time? tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:30 AM I'm supposed to get it in September, apparently if you're on gender hormones you have to wait for the one year mark, something about being 'biologically receptive' But you won't have that issue so you might get yours a lot sooner ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM I suspect part of the wait is having to formulate each therian's medicine individually. Giving me cat HRT probably isn't gonna turn me into a bird. tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:33 AM Yeah I guess this isn't One Size Fits Most like normal estrogen and testosterone are ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:36 AM Well. Nothing to do but wait now. Maybe getting on some of the Therian HRT support groups and hearing some more people's stories will help. Thanks for your input, hope your new therapy medicine arrives on time I might pester you with more questions in the future tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:37 AM Anytime! I'd be glad to help you along on this one ashedink — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM ^v^ (I've started using bird emoticons more, it's fun!) tigergirltail — 07/03/2024 10:38 AM I mean, you know how long I've been using cat emotes =3 So I get that

ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM

FIRST CONSULTATION APPOINTMENT TOMORROW WISH ME LUCK AAAAAAA- It's actually happening! It's actually happening!

tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:01 PM Gee I can't tell, are you excited? =3 ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:04 PM I am Anxcited Question: would it be considered too much if I came in with a folder of vulture facts outlining how similar humans and vultures are to each other, and how I've techincally been "living like a vulture" basically my entire life understanding that the parameters I need to fulfill exclude things that would literally kill me Because I already have the folder but now I'm second guessing myself and I can FEEL THE ANXIOUS INFODUMP INSTINCT I am either gonna say nothing at all or way too much HELP tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:07 PM Do it. Slap that gatekeepy doctor with every Cool Vulture Fact in your birb cranium Might improve your odds tbh ashedink — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You are a cool and awesome friend and I am glad I have you to encourage me when I am a scattered anxious mess Thank you Alexis tigergirltail — 11/13/2024 11:08 PM You've got this Ash I believe in you =3

(featuring my long time friend and the person who acted as my gate into therian HRT, @tigergirltail)

[fiveredlights]

chapter one: please don't ever become a stranger (whose laugh i could recognise anywhere)

it's my birthday and as my present to you i deliver you chapter 1 of the long awaited new year's day bonus fic/prequel to glitter on the floor (and we will ignore the fact it is way past new year's for everyone's sake)

Max

Yas Island, Abu Dhabi

26 November 2018 at 1:03am

0:00—0:23

Transcription

“Um hey, sorry about the call earlier I hope I didn’t wake you and I guess the voicemail as well, you know how Charles is. Maybe it’s for the better if we pretend that it never happened. Yeah, okay. Um, see you next year I guess.”

(read here)

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

Fic master post

Here's a little master post of all (most of) my existing fic. I'm writing again so I'll update with new ones as I go along :)

On Ao3:

-Long fic:

Steps Toward the Water

Words: 16,161 (5 chapters)

Case fic, set early S11 (but written before S11 came out so canon divergence).

Winter has come early bringing with it the biting chill of the years first frost, there is the hum of electricity in the air and people are going missing. Sam dreams of Jess and faces in the ice. When a young woman named Liz disappears Sam is certain there’s more to the case than first appears. Meanwhile Dean is drawn in by tales of people vanishing on the shores of Coldwater lake, strange wordless songs and a woman standing out on the frozen water. It will take all of Sam’s cleverness, bravery, and perhaps just a smidgen of psychic ability, for him to be able to piece together the cases and bring a lost soul to rest.

----

-One shots:

*NEW* Looking for Meaning

Words: 1818

Soulless Sam, s6

Soulless Sam tries to figure out why he still has the Samulet.

*NEW* Digging into the Lore

Words: 2425

Sam/Piper (from 11 x 4 Baby), angst, later seasons Sam's complicated relationship with sex.

He hadn’t come here for this, and if he’s being honest with himself he usually would have smiled politely, said “another time” and then vanished off into the night. Certainly, he never would have initiated. He thinks again about the scent of her perfume, god she’d smelt good. Maybe . . . maybe he needs this. Something . . . uncomplicated. ‘You gotta learn to have fun. Seriously, it's pathetic’. His fingers grip the edge of the table again. Making sure.

"I'm Sam"

Make Something Good Out of It

Words: 1,631

Sam/Ruby, dub-con overtones. Not shippy.

The water feels good, cleansing and cooling, soothing the ache in his head as he lets it run through his hair and over his body. He leans his back against the wall of the shower and slides down the length until he’s sat pressed against the cold tile. There’s a grotty looking flannel laying abandoned on the shower floor to his left and he grabs it up in his hand, scrubbing it harshly over every inch of flesh he can reach, his skin reddening under the friction of the rough cloth. He can still feel the ink, seeping deeper into him. He scrubs harder.

Would you stay, as you are lying there?

Words: 1,343

Sam/Madison, canon divergence, (vaguely) NSFW.

A Sam/Madison slight AU, wherein Sam and Madison get to spend one last night together, even though the outcome is still the same.

Silver and Flames

Words: 1,640

Angst, young Sam.

Sam is bought a knife for his ninth birthday.

Ice and Blood

Words: 1,797

Angst, young Sam, a follow up to Silver and Flames

The story of Sam's first kill.

Home

Words: 929

Sam/Jess

Jess finds out there is more to heaven than just her memories

On Tumblr:

Stamford Letter (young Sam)

These vary in length but are mostly drabbles/prompt-requests. Most don't have real titles so I've given them vaguely descriptive ones lol.

*NEW* Going on a Quest (Trials Sam)

November 2nd 1997 (young Sam)

November 2nd (young Sam)

Reason for Hope

Bones (Young Sam)

Soulless Sam drabble

After the funeral (s3)

Why I'm Leaving

I'm Proud of You (Sam/Jess)

Riot (Sam/Amelia - although its mostly about the dog)

Riot2 (again mostly about Riot but Sam/Amelia)

Loss (Sam/Jess)

There's a Storm Outside (Sam/Jess)

Night (gen, mentions of Sam/Brady, Sam/Jess)

The Nightmare (this one's actually pretty long - young Sam)

Once, when we were kids

First Kiss (Sam/Brady, demisexual Sam)

Sam Poetry master-post

[thedinanshiral]

After the reveal

Cinematic trailer and gameplay reveal already out of the way, now we wait. What's a few months after ten long, painful years? Sure, i can wait some more, and now i'll do it more gladly than ever.

There's not much i could add to what everyone is talking about, so this will be a post of personal impressions.

Cinematic trailer: while i admit i was not liking it much at first, and yes i did compare it to Fortnite, i immediately went to watch DAI's cinematic trailer because i remembered it looked kinda funny too. And then i remembered DAO's awful, truly awful trailers and i felt my worries washed away by the waves of "It'll be ok" Beach. Cinematic trailers should be taken as what they are, a basic look into the game, not its final version -unless it's stated as such in the trailer itself-. I saw people not liking the characters' presentation cards but i think they were ok, as we have new factions and all. That's all it was, a quick look at new companions and locations. But as always some people went rabid over it like an undertaker eager to put six-feet worth of dirt on your face. As they've been doing for the past decade and even before that, for which i have a Zero Tolerance Policy. As for the music, while i do like Bowie i'm not a fan of that version of Heroes, and in my heart nothing beats DAI's Into the darkness as a trailer song but after the dust settled that's really my only real complaint.

Gameplay reveal: I'm glad it put most people at ease. I'm sad Varric couldn't succeed in convincing his old friend and that in the moment Solas decided destroying Bianca was the way to make him stop trying for good, that he was cruel intentionally to that end. I'm not sure how combat will feel like but i'll get used to it. I'm certainly not a fan of having to pause every two frames and i did enjoy combat in Mass Effect Andromeda so having only two companions tag along isn't exactly a new thing either. I'm a bit confused about the commands wheel screen, and how it works exactly. Location and ambience-wise i loved it all, i know they had to cut it short for the video but i hope we get a bit more freedom to explore the area. It's one thing to cut the scale down from The Hinterlands but i'd hate it for these new locales to feel like a shoebox. I'm curious to see if the tone indicators in the dialogue wheel will be like in DAI or more like in DA2, and i hope it's the latter because i need a Purple protagonist in my life again.

I rather wait until we know more, ideally until i get to play it myself, before i start weaving words about what was peaking through the rip in the Veil, about the ritual and all that sweet, sweet lore intoxication i'm gonna be getting.

What's coming: BW were kind enough to give us a bit of a schedule

Now armed with past experiences and my intuition, i'd like to explore possibilities. I've always thought the release date should be in November. It marks the 10th anniversary of Dragon Age Inquisition, and the 15th annoversary of Dragon Age Origins. On top of that, it's the year of the Dragon, and November is close enough to the holidays to bank on that as well. So i'm considering the possibility that after June 18th they give us a some days to process everything so far, and there's also the character creator reveal as well. And then by July i think they could start showing us a bit more with character trailers. With seven companions plus Rook i'd say one trailer per week is enough to make it to mid September. I Imagine a basic presentation of Rook in some of their variants, to reintroduce those origins people missed so much, the new factions, etc, could take over July and then the companions over August and September. Maybe we could get more official art or short stories sprinkled here and there too. After that i'd say a pre-order and release date would be great, giving everyone a month or so to get ready for a glorious November release right on time for my birthday.

Anyway that's all in my head, for now we have nothing beyond June 18th. I'm mostly waiting for a pre-order, of course a release date, and whether or not there'll be a Collector's edition or anythin like it so i can work my magic to get one.

[dreamersbcll]

“Ink Blots”

for @krikeymate

3/5

——————————————————————————

May 19th, 2018

Dear Sam,

Two years. Two whole years. You got up and left. No surprise. I’m still where you left me.

Every day I wake up, and there’s five seconds of bliss before I remember. You’re there for a heartbeat, nothing more. I can almost feel your breath on my cheek and your hand brushing through my hair

I can picture it all. You are holding me, your chin buried into my shoulder. I am holding your hands as they wrap around me. It’s imprinted on my brain.

Amber tells me every day that I need to move on. That you’re long gone. That when you were here, you were never really here. It’s like a broken record.

Yet, She’s right in some ways. You always chose any other substance but me.

But I don’t want to admit that she’s right. She would take it and run. I love her, but she’s a little too intense sometimes. We’ve watched the Stab movies every night since you left like clockwork. I don’t get it.

Please come home. The back door is always open. I don’t lock my bedroom door anymore. You can slip in.

Love, Tara.

——

June 15th, 2018

Dear Samantha,

Formal right? I found your birth certificate and some other documents today. Well, Amber did. She looked through my shit earlier, claiming she “wanted to see if you took your personal information.”

Spoiler: you didn’t. But I don’t know why you would. I’m pretty sure just a driver’s license is needed to disappear.

Anyways, I put your shit into a box and hid it under the floorboards. You’ll find it one day, I’m sure.

I couldn’t find my information. Maybe I’m not a Carpenter. That would be something, huh? Being able to escape this hell family line.

A girl can dream.

Tara Carpenter (maybe).

——

September 27th, 2018

Dear Sam,

High school sucks. Sophomore year sucks. I hate this place.

I don’t want to do anything. I hate math. I’m not good at history. I can’t remember shit.

All the teachers give me looks. Looks of sympathy, disgust, suspicion. I think they recognize the family name. School wasn’t your thing, but it would’ve been nice if you didn’t fuck it up for me. I can barely keep up with the shit they throw at me.

The only one who’s forgiving me is my English teacher Ms. Smith. She has kind, gentle brown eyes, just like yours. Surprisingly, she’s the only teacher who believes in me.

We read books a lot. She helps mentor me in critical writing skills.

Who knows. Maybe I’ll write a book and make us famous, just like that Gale Weathers lady.

Tara

——

November 16th, 2018

Dear Sam,

Do you ever wonder if Mom was ever good? Did we make her this way?

Did I make her this way?

I’m so sick of cleaning up broken bottles and piles of puke. I’m so tired of watching her wither away right before my eyes. I can’t even save her. I can’t tell her to stop. I can’t get her to stop.

Begging and pleading never worked. Trust me; I’ve been trying it with you every night. I think God, or whatever deities I pray to, stopped listening years ago.

It’s strange. First, Dad leaves. Then you. And now Mom had her foot halfway out the door. Is it me? Do you all leave because of me?

What the hell did I do?

Confused, Tara.

——

December 14th, 2018

Dear Sam,

Sweet sixteen. Happy birthday to me. Not that you cared.

Mindy and Chad decorated my locker. Amber bought me flowers and a cake. Ms.Smith gave me a new journal. Mom went on a business trip to Singapore.

And… I’m sixteen. I have a handful of people that care. But they don’t matter. They don’t fucking matter.

I want you, Sammy. You promised to teach me how to drive. You promised to take me for my license. I’ve had to learn how to drive with Amber. And she’s taking me for my license tomorrow. Everything you were supposed to do.

But I suppose this is what you wanted. You would’ve come back if it wasn’t.

I hope wherever you are sucks. I hope you feel my disappointment and anger from here. I’m furious with you. I hate it.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Tara

——

January 1st, 2019

Dear Sam,

I’m drunk and I miss you and I wish you were here I wish you loved me I want you to love me come back come back come back

Love Tara

——

February 18th, 2019

Dear Sam,

I got picked for the school newspaper—advice column. I laughed in Ms. Smith’s face when she offered it to me.

Advice column. As if I would be the one to give advice. I can’t get anyone to stay.

Did you hear that Robbie Sullivan asked me on a date? I said yes. He never showed up to the theater. Amber was pissed. He came to school the next day with a broken arm and fractured ribs. He said some asshole attacked him.

Funny. Amber talked about a scene in the Stab franchise where someone gets ambushed and hurt. Seemed familiar.

Anyways. School is slow, and life is passing me by. Chad is a big-shot basketball player. I haven’t gone to a game. I can’t stand being in a room full of people and feeling so alone. Mindy is okay with it. She comes over sometimes to braid my hair and make my bed.

Everything is in slow motion. Time is passing, but not at all.

Do you feel that way?

Tara.

——

April 4th, 2019

Dear Sam,

I’m doing fine. I’m regaining all my strength and self-worth in record time. I brush my hair most days and even clean my room once a week.

I stopped going through the photos I kept under my bed. I feel no need to reflect on the past right now because that’s all I can do. There’s no future when I know you’re out there ignoring me.

Maybe even forgetting about me.

I joined a club. A book club. It’s nice just sitting there and letting people’s opinions swallow me whole. I can listen and nod, and everyone leaves me alone; because I’m not moping around anymore. Amber is happier anyways. She was so angry with me for being sad all the time.

Jokes on her; I’m still sad. But I can’t lose anything else anymore, so sadness is a wasted feeling. I can walk for hours in the darkness, stay up all night, pray, and it still wouldn’t matter.

You are still gone, and I am here. I might as well try.

Tara.

——

May 19th, 2019

Dear Sam,

Three years.

I don’t know if I have any tears left to cry for you. I’ve accepted that I’ll never see you again if you could help it.

I hope that once I’m out of this town, you come back, looking for me. And when I’m not there, you understand how it feels.

I try not to be mean. But this is what you wanted, isn’t it? An escape from me. You were leaving me before I could infect you with whatever darkness swirls inside me.

No explanation comes to my mind besides the one where you’re sick of me.

I don’t blame you. I get it.

Love, Tara.

[bardiccharm]

If you don't stick around for this one, that's fair. It's fairly sad and involves a heavy topic (I have tw: it)

I haven't posted original shit in *years* but here we are. Every time I look at my profile photo all I wanna do is cry.

Yesterday, November 1st at 12:15pm, my spouse and I took our big baby cat Achmed to his last vet appointment. He didn't yowl, he didn't fight. He was tired. He was done. After 11 years, and 2 months of fighting, eating nasty ass medicine, watching both of us breaking because we couldn't do anything to make him feel any better, he was done.

On Labor Day this year we came home to him unable to greet us like he normally did. When he tried to walk, he was winded and worse yet he couldn't feel or use his front paw. He tried, but without being able to use it, he just fell on his face. We scooped him up, put him in his carrier and took him to the nearest vet ER where he was diagnosed in early stage heart failure and told that he had thrown a clot which was stuck in his leg. Originally they floated an amputation, pending his reaction to medicine we begged to even try and use to give him a fighting chance. If he didn't respond in 24 hrs, they said we would need to put him down. 24 hrs later, every 8 hours he was given his medicine. He wouldn't eat the food he had (as we learned from internal medicine, not his normal vet, is a common reaction for cats when sick) and went from 20lbs ragdoll to 9.75. she gave him the same diagnosis for the paw but on a urinalysis, caught his protein levels heightened and additionally diagnosed him with kidney disease. Both are degenerative diseases with no cure.

Internal medicine gave us hope. They said he was active and with the new food, eating again, he would be okay a little longer and maybe even get to see his 12th birthday. We weren't going to hope for that, we just wanted one more Samhain and Yule with him. He gave us one, but not the other. He was starting to turn I noticed about a week before, but with a new little addition (a long haired tuxedo kitten named Thor) seemed to perk up and eat again. We monitored exactly how much he drank, making sure water was *always* available everywhere. All the churu sticks and wet food he could want ever, with dry kibble separated in a bowl.

His health went south so quickly...

In 12 hours, he went from being able to jump (albeit not with the normal grace he did) onto the bed or into the closet, to being barely able to walk down the hall to the bathroom to sleep on the bath mat. (He hated cat beds and preferred to steal hoodies and blankets and fabrics). From cuddles with him laying on us to him curling at the end of the bed and watching the door.

The last night we knew. When he wobbled standing, hadn't eaten or drank in 24 hours and threw up his medicine. He was done. His last acts were to give one last soft purr and a paw of approval with Thor and the only cuddle he would get with him after days of the little one's excitement to meet him fully. We made an ornament with his paw print, wrapped him in his favorite flannel fabric he liked to curl up on while he chattered at squirrels and napped in the sunlight and after calling the vet and Aquamation facility, took him on the hardest drive I've ever made.

They brought us in and let us give him loves before they got him set up. When he came back he didn't move from the blanket, just stayed in it and wondered why we were sad. We chose to stay with him the whole time, told him how much we love him and will miss him but that it was almost over sweet boy. The vet came in, explained what he was going to overdose him on sedative before putting him fully asleep. We stayed with our baby until he was gone and then a little after to fully say goodbye and that we loved him again before leaving....

I love you bubbaloo. I'm sorry I couldn't make you feel any better. I'm sorry I couldn't spoil you as a baby like I hope I get the chance to do for your little brother. I'm sorry I couldn't stop you from being sick. I'm sorry for all the nasty medicine but I am *so* grateful you fought to make it to Samhain. I am thankful for the wonderful 11 years you were with me, through everything from breakups to being married to your Papa to losing your big fur brother Kody. You get to see him now too. And your siblings and dad and Grandpa. They've been waiting for you and they came to get you and make sure you aren't going alone across the Rainbow Bridge. Kody especially, waited for you to go with him. We'll see you again one day buddy and I hope to have so many stories for you.

I love you more than the stars baby boy

- Jess

[the-al-chemist]

The Lights That Never Go Out

Chapter 3: Stars By The Pocketful

A/N: One night last November, my friend decided that it would be fun to go swimming in the sea. In my naïvety, I went along with it, thinking ‘how cold can it be?’. Turns out, pretty cold. It was horrible, and I hated almost every second of it. In the one second after the initial shock had worn off but before the mild hypothermia set in, the world went still. And in the stillness and darkness, a little voice in my head went “oh”. I went home, and I wrote the first draft of this chapter in the early hours of the morning.

This edited version is being submitted for @thethreebroomsticksfic’s Yule Bash, the prompt being ‘Frozen’.

Warnings: partial nudity and discussions of grief.

6th December, 1998

Night had fallen fast. It was not yet late, but still the only light came from the houses along the bay, from the village harbour to Shell Cottage, perched on the dunes at the top of the beach.

Artemis shivered through her knitwear and coat as she wandered along the darkened shore, the gently ebbing waves not quite reaching her feet. At least she was well wrapped up; the weather had turned decidedly wintry, despite it only being the start of December, and being so close to the ocean made it even colder. The wind that blew in over the sea was gentle but chilling.

The high tide made the beach smaller at this time of the evening. Artemis was grateful for that, it made it easier for her to find what — or rather, who — she was looking for in the dark. It was not long before she encountered Charlie standing at the water’s edge, looking out to where the sea blended seamlessly with the night sky.

“I thought I noticed you slip away after dinner,” she said as she approached him. “Mind if I join you?”

“Of course not,” Charlie replied, his face still turned towards the invisible horizon. “It’s cold, though.”

“I don’t mind. I’ve got layers on.”

Charlie exhaled, and Artemis squinted to see him better. He was always quiet, but had been more reticent than usual since their encounter with the Boggart the day before. As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she could see the tears that were threatening his eyes. She stayed silent, somehow able to tell that if Charlie wanted to talk, he’d talk.

“I can’t believe it,” he said eventually. “It’s almost Christmas.”

Artemis nodded, though she doubted he could see her. “Yeah.”

“I mean, I knew that it’s almost Christmas, but I’ve been so busy with doing stuff to the house, and now tonight everyone won’t stop talking about it.” Charlie swallowed. “It just seems like we keep hitting all these horrible milestones, that’s all. One week, one month, six months. Now it’s going to be Christmas and then New Year and birthdays, and a whole year, and… I don’t know.”

Charlie might not have known, but Artemis did. Grief wasn’t new to her. It might have been nine years ago that Rowan had died, but she still remembered every emotion she had felt after losing her best friend, even now.

“I do. I know,” she told Charlie, and he looked at her for the first time, an apologetic look in his eyes. “Don’t, it’s fine. You’re right, though. The first year’s the hardest.”

“So another six months and it’ll get easier?”

The hope in Charlie’s voice made Artemis frown.

“Not exactly,” she said. “The reminders just get less frequent, that’s all.”

“Does it ever get easier?”

“Sort of, yeah. Well, no. Maybe? It’s more that you just get used to how hard it is, so it doesn’t hurt quite so much. Life goes on, and so do you, somehow.”

“Great,” Charlie muttered. “Lots to look forward to, then.”

“Would you prefer it if I lied to you?”

Charlie sighed before replying.

“No. I’d only be able to tell that you were lying, then I’d feel twice as bad,” he said. “Sorry, I know you’re only trying to help. You are helping, it’s just… It’s going to be tough. Lots of reminders. I’m guessing they never go away.”

“Sadly not.” Artemis took her hand out of her pocket and linked arms with Charlie, resting her head on his shoulder. “And you never really know when to expect them, either. They just pop up out of nowhere. They can be nice, though. Sometimes you remember things that you’d forgotten even happened before.”

She hadn’t been expecting Charlie to laugh, but he did. She lifted her head to look at him quizzically.

“I had that tonight,” he explained.

“Did you?” Artemis asked, and Charlie hummed in response. “What did you remember?”

“It was earlier, when we all walked over the beach before dinner. It reminded me of one time when we were younger,” he said, half-smiling as he looked back out at the black expanse of sea. “My aunt used to own this house, and we came here every summer for a holiday. One year — it must’ve been our first or second year at Hogwarts — we came here for Christmas as well, and on Christmas Eve, Mum sent us all out for a walk so she could get everything ready in peace.

“Well, we were just walking down the beach and everyone was getting bored because it was cold, and moaning that they wanted to go back in, and Mum really wanted us to stay outside for as long as possible. So, Bill had the great idea of having a competition as to who out of him and me would be ballsy enough to get into the water naked and stay in there the longest.”

“In December?” Artemis wrinkled her nose. “Wouldn’t that be—”

“Freezing? Yeah, it was.”

“You did it?”

“Of course I did. Couldn’t lose face to Bill in front of the others,” said Charlie. “But, as soon as we were in the sea and not looking, Fred stole all my clothes and buried them on the beach.”

“He didn’t!”

“He did. Little git. I never saw my lucky pants again, they’re probably still buried in the sand dunes somewhere. Lost forever.”

“How could they be lucky if they got stolen and lost?” Artemis asked, before giving Charlie a knowing look. “Did they have dragons on them?”

Charlie pulled a face. “Is that the only thing you think I care about?”

“They had dragons on them, didn’t they?”

“Yes, they did.”

“I knew it.” Artemis grinned. “Did you at least win the bet? Did you stay in the water longer than Bill?”

“Of course I did. You know I’m tougher than Bill.”

“That and you were probably too embarrassed to get out of the water without your clothes.”

“Rubbish. I just didn’t mind being in the cold water, that’s all,” Charlie said. Artemis raised one sceptical eyebrow, and he shrugged. “No, really. Once you get used to it, it’s really not that bad.”

“Somehow, I doubt that.”

“It’s true. Try it if you don’t believe me.”

“Very funny. I’m not falling for that.” Artemis laughed. “You want me to believe you, you get in and prove it yourself.”

To Artemis’ surprise, Charlie nodded.

“Alright. I’ll go in if you go in,” he said, his eyes meeting hers. Artemis looked at him sceptically, and a daring look flickered in his eyes, visible even in the dark. “Oh, come on. Don’t tell me that Artemis Hexley is scared of a little cold water.”

“I’m not scared, I just can’t tell if this is a trick.”

“It’s not. I promise.”

After nearly twelve years of friendship, Artemis knew that Charlie wouldn’t go back on a promise. So, she nodded.

“Fine. But I’m keeping my underwear on,” she said firmly. “And don’t look while I take the rest off.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

More out of principle than anything else, Artemis waited until Charlie turned away before undressing herself. She doubted that he would have been able to really see anything, it was too dark for that. It was just as well, as by the time she had stripped down to her pants and crop top, Charlie was just in his boxers. Artemis didn’t really fancy checking to see whether or not they had dragons on them.

Her clothes now strewn on the sand, the cold night air was flush against her skin, and she was covered in goosebumps. She picked up her knitted hat and put it back on her head, in a futile attempt to recover some of the warmth she’d already lost, knowing that she was only going to get colder from this point forward.

Both shivering, she and Charlie fixed their eyes determinedly on the water that they were about to brave.

“It’s better if you run and go in right up to your shoulders,” Charlie informed her. “Ready?”

“Always ready. Born ready.”

“Alright, on three. One, two, THREE!”

The pair of them ran into the sea, shouting and screaming and swearing at the top of their lungs as they plunged into the icy water, so cold it was almost painful. As the sea around her got deeper, Artemis’ breathing got shallower, the water making her chest tight.

“Not that b-bad?” she said through chattering jaws. “This is-s horrid!”

“Just swim a bit,” Charlie said, already swimming away from her. “You’ll soon warm up.”

“Liar,” Artemis muttered, but she followed suit, paddling after him through the inky icy ocean.

They swam deeper into the sea before returning to the shallows. She couldn’t tell if the water had gotten warmer, or if she had gotten used to how cold it was, but by the time she was back in her depth the pain had subsided. She was still cold, but at least she could breathe a little easier.

It was darker in the water than it was on the shore, and by the time she could see Charlie, they were right beside one another, facing each other, so close they were almost touching. Their eyes met, and for a brief moment it was as if the whole world no longer existed. It was just them, together in the endless expanse of darkness.

Artemis realised that she wasn’t breathing, and she raised her face skywards, where at least the stars gave the tiniest specks of light against the otherwise pitch-black backdrop. There really were a lot of stars tonight. A multitude of stars.

“You’re frozen,” she heard Charlie murmur, and she dropped her gaze from the skies to his face once more.

She had forgotten how cold she was, and now that Charlie had pointed it out, she could feel how badly she was trembling. She instinctively stepped even closer to him, the fabric of her sodden crop top against his bare chest, and a great shudder went through her whole body. Charlie placed his hands on her upper arms and rubbed them with his thumbs. His touch was as gentle as his fingertips were rough. She could only assume that he was trying to warm her up, but it was no use. Charlie was shivering almost as much as she was.

“I thought you said it wasn’t that c-cold,” Artemis whispered.

“No, I d-didn’t,” Charlie replied, his shaky voice also quiet. “I said it wasn’t that bad.”

Artemis’ quivering lips curved into a small smile. Charlie had a point. It was strange, but there was something about this that wasn’t that bad at all.

[jungwnies]

hi maeby! its been a while, im sorry this took too long and I don’t know exactly when you’ll see this but know that i’m writing this on december 16 for reference hehe (this will essentially be a 2023 recap but ill try to be as short as possible)

last time i was here i think it was the end of june or beginnings of july and a lot has happened in my life, on august i turned 21 and i also went to the eras tour!! definitely one of the best days ever in my life and maybe top 3 on best days of 2023  🤍

talking about my birthday its little sensitive topic, for the past five years or so my birthdays has kind of been something that I’ve dreaded so much and i'm just the opposite of happy, its like those posts you see everywhere of people crying in their room during their birthdays and this year wasn’t  the exception, this years birthday..lets just say it will be memorable but leaving that aside august was kind of okay

the concert experience may be on of my favorite memories just because it feel so cathartic, it was just so beautiful talking to strangers and us bonding over music and art, listening and singing to my favorite songs, getting to go to a concert for the first time on my own, traveling with my sister (just the two of us) for the first time, all the beautiful pictures and videos and people that i keep with me because of that one experience it just something that I will eternally be grateful for (also, so. many. friendship. bracelets.)

i remember looking back at my life and my lowest points in it and thinking (and hopefully it won’t get too sad) “well maybe someone out there was right, i just needed to hang on a little tighter, cause imagine missing out on this” 

september was filled with delicious food and me going out a little more often

in october was my sisters birthday, so she held a halloween costume party and i got to dress up as an elf/fairy, i also went to one of my best friends birthday party and felt amazing seeing a couple of familiar faces after months, and some of them even years, waiting. also yes, this means i ate a lot of cake on october (my moms birthday was also on this month hah). i also took a ceramic class. i loved it (I made a small bowl :))

november i went out a lot, bought new clothes, bought christmas decorations, studied korean, went to the doctor cause i thought i was going to die (turns out im not, even far from it : im as healthy as a horse) 

and as of december, planning christmas dinner with my mom and sister, got a bad haircut that made me cry so hard and then got it fixed at another salon, had dates with friends, retook ceramic classes (i made two cups, three heart shaped plates and a little jewelry organizer), scheduled one more therapy session before the year ends after months of not going, took more buses this month than in my whole life and i guess im slowly figuring out my stuff a little more. 

i discovered new artists this year, feel in love again  with old ones that I had forgotten about, learned new cooking recipes, got a little more out of the house than last year, made amends with my body and established boundaries even though it hurt :)

turning 21 this year essentially meant a lot, i don’t want to go into more detailed as to not make this any longer but lets just say im planning on getting 21 tattooed on my next year haha

i hope the rest of the year was kind to you, if you feel comfortable to answer with maybe your favorite parts of 2023 would be great! if not just know that i love you and missed dropping by here, hopefully starting 2024 i'll be back here regularly <3<3

take care, stretch, rest all you need, take your time, and remember that im always right here rooting for you and hugging you 🩶🩶🩶

happy holidays :) love youuuuu

-🧸anon

hiii 🧸anon <3

it has been literally so long, i was taking a break from tumblr, honestly i didn't even think i'd come back but seeing this upon logging in literally brought joy to my heart knowing you're still around! :)

i've read everything, from your birthday to your christmas dinner with your mom and sister. starting with your birthday i'm glad that 2023 you had a memorable birthday after dreading it for so many years, and i hope 2024 also brings you joy! onto the concert next, i know exactly how you feel, it's something that you don't feel often and the crowds are just so amazing because it's people who share the same love for the same artist, and it's like you are in your own little world for a few hours. next, september & october, i'm glad it was filled with food and another birthday, it seems so fun to have a halloween themed birthday honestly!! november, i'm glad it was a good month besides the scary doctors visit >.< december seemed to have been a busy month for you, and hopefully your hair is okay now :( hopefully the therapy sesh went well. I'm glad your year was overall not too shabby, and I'm glad that you had a lot of character development. Hopefully 2024 brings you absolutely nothing but joy! 🖤

now onto my year, i guess i'll go with the highlights. i essentially had a relatively good year, i was able to do a lot of things, and uni was not too stressful, but it's a little harder this semester. starting with my august, i didn't do much except get ready for the semester, signed up for my september classes etc etc, it was relatively boring. my september was a little more eventful, i took a marine biology class which was so fun, and i'm not even majoring in marine bio, we got to talk about sea legends and a lot of the lore behind mermaids and other stuff. in october i did the same thing, but i made one of my best friends ever, except uhhh we're not really friends anymore as of recently, but my heart goes to them, they meant alot. in november i built a new computer, a little nerdy but i actually really enjoyed it except i had a mental breakdown trying to do cable management LMFAO 😭😭in december i had a good month, except the basement flooded so that wasn't very slay but regardless it was a good month filled with nothing but holiday spirit and gifts.

now with a short little update on my 2024, because it's been awhile. in january i went back to school for the second semester, and it's been tough i'm not going to lie. i also got a boyfriend so like !?!??! kinda crazy, he's not too bad but like every relationship we definitely have our downs. in february, it was a short month but nonetheless eventful this is the downfall of me and bestie tbh, but it's okay he was like a life lesson or something!?!?! now this month, it just started and it's been great, it's midterm week right now so i'm a bit stressed, but i also suddenly got motivation to go back on youtube and write on tumblr again, so i'm super happy about that :)

i hope 2024 is kind to you and gives you a lot of joy! remember to take care of yourself, just as you always say to me, stretch, rest all you need, take your time, and remember that im always right here rooting for you and hugging you as well! ❤️❤️❤️

have a great year, and i hope to see you again 🧸❤️

[foreveralwaysanauthor]

I know it’s been a while and I really didn’t want it to be this long, but here I am. A lot has happened in the last few weeks and, to summarize it all, it’s taken a lot out of me. I wanted to have everything done and be able to move onto the Hocus Pocus AU, but honestly, I haven’t even finished the halfway point of the final Camp Wanamaker chapter. I definitely still want to write it, but with October being halfway over already, it feels as though pushing it to next year might be the easiest option (though I would love nothing more than to jump into it right now haha). Anyway, I feel as though I should sort of explain why I’ve been so distant in everything, especially my writing, but it’s sort of taken a lot out of me to write it all out. I do apologize in advance for being sort of blunt; I haven’t really been taking the time to process my own emotions lately and it shows.

For starters, my grandma’s step-mom, my Great-Grammy Donna, passed away. At 94 years old, she was still doing fairly well health-wise and keeping things as interesting as possible. She was creative, always spoke her mind, and, although we weren’t technically blood relatives, I felt just as close to her as everyone else. Her house was home to everyone and she made sure that you never left her house hungry or wanting for anything. She always loved it when my mom and I visited and promised to one day teach me how to make proper Polish food, though we never got the chance. Honestly, she partially inspired me to write Vivien’s Nonna Dawn and I made their personalities fairly similar, which made it really hard to think about writing her character at all lately.

On top of that, my car was having some pretty serious - and rather expensive - issues. In total, I would have had to pay at least 3 grand out of pocket to get it all fixed. Due to being from a family full of mechanics, I managed to find a quick fix for some of it, but the car needs to be road-worthy by the end of November and I don’t have the money for it all right now, so it looks as though I’ll have to just bite the bullet and buy a used car before then. I’m holding out hope that something road-worthy will come along soon, but until then, I’ve at least got my old minivan.

Now, I’ve been working on seeing the good in things lately and one of the few bits of good news I have right now, is that my mom and I have been working out more to get ourselves out of depression. It’s been working pretty well so far. I’ve lost almost 30 pounds and dropped a size, which feels great. As I am pretty tall, my weight is more evenly distributed, but I’m still hoping to be down to my goal weight by my birthday, if not sooner. It’ll be a lot of work, but I’m determined and it’s helping me get into a better head space, which is a bonus, if you ask me.

Anyway, I’m hoping to finish the chapter soon and, if I feel up to it, maybe work on the Hocus Pocus AU. I am still determined to finish this last chapter, but I’m definitely ready to move on as I really want to get into the storylines I’ve been practically dangling in front of my face like a carrot. It might take me a while as I work through things, but I want to make sure I take my time and have things come out the way I would like them to. I don’t want to half-ass anything or give you a cruddy chapter! So, yeah, that’s where I’m at with everything and I hope to get back to writing/posting more soon!

In the meantime, I’ve made my Pinterest boards for Melaka Mystica (Hocus Pocus AU) and True Colors (The Last Of Us AU2) available. There may be other boards making appearances sooner or later as I try to figure out what to write next, but for now, that’s all I’ve got for you. I hope you enjoy them at least a little!

[annislittleshopofhorrors]

I think that it supposed to some out in spring 2022 like we discussed already. They were literally preparing for that. Portugal articles in fall 2021, NEY trip, Vegas, him in Portugal. But then I think Disney play a role in this. They saw shit coming or have a head ups or something and ask them to delay. They couldn't had the main voice of their movie for kids being called pedo and groomer and worst. Lightyear didn't do good so imagine the dramat if he was with her and the her shit would come out to light sooner. That's why the rush, the tone of content they couldn't post before so now they have to to cover the time line. After Lightyear hit streaming on Disney plus and it's been there a few weeks they get a green light. So he did SMA to soft the blow and they wait to line it up with her show for promo. The only thing they could do before was follows and crumbles throwing by Justin, her and Chris himself. I do believe that Disney play a huge role in this. If not, it would be like with Ali and Seb. He would post something for her birthday in July she would do for his in June (some of the pics we saw from may probably). Then maybe a Christmas post, Halloween, NYE and now V day or it would be over by now. The official article of them together would come out in February 2022 on V day or in March or something when he was filming 'romantic movie' Ghosted so it shows how of the romantic he is. Maybe some flowers for his endless love. Then maybe some papa walk in NYC 🤣 on his break or in May and them released the matching pics for his birthday or international dog day. It was all supposed to happened though the 2022 and it didn't! The ton of content and the push it's very telling.

Sorry for a long post 😂 It just come to so I share ☺️

Just my two cents, I think it isn't postponed, it was planned for November. The postponed WN season 2 was definitely not planned and didn't help them. But I think what we see now is a team who tries very hard to sell a one year (a whole year!) relationship. And here is why I think that. If they went official beginning of 2022, everyone would be focused on them. The problem with this is he was busy filming and they didn't live a happy couple life. It's very hard to sell this narrative of endless love when he didn't have much time and they didn't really see each other. However, now they have more control about this narrative. They present us a bunch of pics & videos, so it looks like she was with him the whole year (spoiler: she wasn't). I hope you know what I mean. Because it's easier to "prove" the past that the GP can't check than creating new sightings/pap pics etc. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[hazelthevixen]

Hazel's Leap Year Post - Warnings, news, updates, and more!

Happy leap year! I'm not sure how else to celebrate except with my first journal post of 2024 (and first journal in a while), but who knows, maybe I'll think of somethin' ^-^ So how's 2024 so far? For me it's been alright UwU However, I am excited, I feel that 2024 could hold alot of potential for being a good year! >:3 Most days seem to be rather chill at the moment, I have enjoyed a few good outings tho :3 But I'm excited because I'm finally seeing to my big dream of mine! And that's travelling the world! ^w^ I will be going abroad to somewhere nice and hot in november, but I'm also hoping to make more friends locally aswell as seeing if any of my local pals would like to go on holidays with me before november aswell, cos it is quite a long way till november :o I'm hoping I'll get to travel alot this year, my new year's resolution is to travel and make friends after all ^w^ So as you may already know, I'm a very shy person, especially in the offline world. I'm not really confident enough to make the first move, though since I'm working on making more friends, especially offline friends, I'll have to see if I can try and come out my shell more.. ^-^; But I'll get there! I've made friends before and I can make friends again. Wish me luck! :3 Oki so..updates! First of all, I would like to say happy new year and happy chinese new year :3 I enjoyed some food and takeaways aswell as watching the cartoon movie on Disney's Mulan UwU It was great! Mushu is a funny character hehe X3 He is the dragon, which is this year's chinese zodiac. Last year's zodiac is the rabbit! and I just so happen to be the year of the rabbit ^w^ So last year I celebrated by making a new bunny oc. She is part scorpion and part lionhead rabbit, I made her on my birthday to celebrate that aswell as my zodiacs. I am a scorpio aswell as a rabbit, so it only makes sense that my bunny oc is part scorpion! I don't know what type of scorpion but I do know for sure she is a lionhead rabbit :3 I call her Scorpio Bunny, she's not really a fursona but she's still very cute ^w^ I'll post her at some point if I haven't posted her already. But if I have then you should be able to find her in my gallery! :3 I've also been branching out alot to other sites this year, to y'know.. get my works out there and try and get more noticed UwU I've been branching out to reddit, unvale, bluesky, and no mcroll this time, but seeing as it looks like the coast is clear, I returned to deviantart as for now. don't miss the community, but I do kinda miss some of the site's old features.. ÚwÙ No I'm not giving out links here, that's how the stalkers find me. If you want to follow me on those places, you'll have to message me privately. U.U And I wouldn't recommend searching for my accounts either, I somehow managed to get popular enough to end up with imposter accounts, so if you think an account could be me, ask the security questions I have provided on my weasyl and toyhouse (I plan to make security questions available on other places too). Ask several, and if they answer incorrectly or refuse to answer them, then you'll know it's an imposter and not me. The imposter accounts were created by jealous haters who have no life, as their pathetic attempt to frame me and spread more of their crappy fake rumours. But at least every smart person knows not to fall for those lies, only a stupid fool would believe such lies about me.. UwU Anyways, the imposters post disturbing content so that's also part of why I wouldn't recommend searching up my name, especially if you're a bit on the innocent and/or sensitive side. Stay safe! However, I might give out my new subscribestar just so it's easier to access, I might migrate there instead of using patreon because I hear patreon is giving out bans to artists who make content of higher ratings, so I might have to make big changes to my patreon and only make content for all ages, but I'll sort that out later, I'll be needing to make some big improvements to my tiers anyway.. ^-^; My subscribestar is still awaiting for approval, heck even I'm waiting too. I don't know how long approvals are suppose to take as it's been several months now. Until then, please feel free to check out my new subscribestar! https://www.subscribestar.com/hazel?redirect_notice=true I think you can subscribe once it's been approved, but I'm still new here and learning my way around so who knows :o Okay! so plans..what do I plan on doing? well.. in the online world, I am not only hard at work with my comic and artwork, but I have a little surprise that might come later after my comic ^-^ I wont say what because stalkers might try to copy me, but it'll definitely be something fun that you can try out if you like my characters ^w^ Subscribers and patrons will be the first to see new comic and animated episodes when they are out, as it might be a while until the series releases to the whole public, but subscribers will also be first to try out a fun feature where they can interact with my ocs ^w^ The reasons why I'm releasing it later when the comic is out is because you may not know the characters very well before you see stories and media of them, while when you actually go and see them, you develop a fondness to your favourite characters. So that's why I'm releasing the other feature later so people can interact with their favourite characters ^w^ I may however release another feature sometime soon before or during the comic, my good friend Chris aka Employee205664 suggested an idea of another way you can interact with my original characters so shoutouts to Chris aka Civil Defence Fox he's a good pal :3 maybe the other feature will be a bit of a surprise too ^w^ but I think Chris probably knows what it is X3 sshh it's a surprise lol! XD I'll tell you what it is when it's out ;3 but as for now, subscribers gain early access to cool stuff like this =D so if you're a huge fan then I hope you'll support me enough to become a subscriber ^w^ I've had a rough past so the money will go towards helping me aim for a good future to make up for past abuse. Keep in mind that I do work slowly, so as you may of noticed, I even be a while on content like artwork, but I do get things done and I do put alot of love, thought, and effort into the things I make, so it'll all be worth it UwU I've been making The Waffle Stars series since forever so I hope it'll gain alot of love when it's out ^-^ As for offline goals! I've been trying to tidy up all of my house so we can finally get some decorating done, put shelves up, and put up all my wall decorations that's hogging my drawers. I'm also seeing about being allowed a small dog, because of my invisible disabilities, I am eligible for a service dog. another shoutout to my good friend Diamond Faith for the helpful suggestion :3 But before we can be allowed a service dog, we have some obstacles to face First of all, my house does not allow me keeping a dog because the housing people said so. They don't like us keeping dogs and apparently cats aswell I've heard, so I was lucky to be allowed my guinea pigs, since animals kept in cages and tanks are less likely to cause damage to the house, and rodents like guinea pigs need to be constantly chewing on things (it's to keep their teeth healthy) so that's why I give them wood, cardboard, and hay for that reason. So we're planning on leaving the housing people that's not letting us have a dog Secondly, I'm currently proving that yes, I look after my guinea pigs well, I'm probably better at that than looking after myself, but I can still take good care of my house and self too, so I'm proving I can do all that to prove I can look after a dog aswell, because I've lived with dogs ever since when I was wee, so I have at least a bit of knowledge and experience with both dogs and guinea pigs, due to them being animals I've owned before And as I've mentioned before, we're tryna see about travelling more because travelling makes me really happy, it brings me alot of joy. So I'm aiming for a good future to have many things that could bring me joy and happiness, that's the key to having a good future, to work towards your hopes, dreams, and things future you will be able to thank you for ^-^ That aswell as always looking for things to keep you happy and entertained :3 I want to be a pampered princess! XD I'm also gonna try and make lots of local friends, I mean I have alot of online friends, I'd like to make just as many local friends because sadly I've lost touch with alot of my old school friends as I grew older and I would like to reunite with some aswell as making new ones too. Thing is, I'm very shy. So I need to try and practice coming out of my shell more, I think I need to step out my comfort zone sometimes and meet new people <:3 I'm currently hard at work on my art and trying to get some of them finished soon, but I still enjoy making my content, I make everything all for funsies :3 I've also improved my streams lots! now you can become a cute chibi fox when you subscribe to my livestreams ^w^ You get to customise the fox you play as, aswell as taking part in minigames to earn prizes! =D I also started using my mic on streams and made a pngtuber to go along with it, so join the fluffy gang today by becoming a follower on my livestreams! ^-^ https://www.twitch.tv/hazelthevixen I've got alot of offline goals aswell as online ones, they may not be new year resolutions, but they're still goals I'd like to work towards ^-^ Wish me luck! :3 And if you've read it all and made it this far, I jus wanna say..congrats! =D Have a lucky clover ^w^ *she gives you a 4 leaf clover to bring you good luck to all her friends and fans* 🍀 Thank you for checking out my post! :3 *the cute fox is wagging her floofy tail* Take care you guys ^-^

Please be nice when commenting! I refuse to be criticised so please accept that. If you're gonna be mean, don't say anything at all. Thankies for checking out my post! Meep meep! ヽ(◕ヮ◕)ﾉ I'm on other places too! ^-^

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[acefms]

MEET ANTONIA CORTES ESTRADA !

if you’re hearing TIRED OF CALIFORNIA by NESSA BARRETT playing, you have to know ANTONIA CORTES ESTRADA (SHE/HER; CIS FEMALE) is near by! the 28 year old CELLIST has been in denver for, like, 1 WEEK. they’re known to be quite SECRETIVE, but being METICULOUS seems to balance that out. or maybe it’s the fact that they resemble CIERRA RAMIREZ. personally, i’d love to know more about them seeing as how they’ve got those THE UNRAVELLING OF A PERFECTLY TIED BOW, PLAY UNTIL YOUR FINGERS ACHE, THE GLIMPSE OF A FALTERING SMILE vibes. and maybe i’ll get my chance if i hang out around the MONTBELLO DISTRICT long enough!

NAME: antonia cortes estrada

AGE: twenty-eight

BIRTHDAY: november 7th

ZODIAC: scorpio

OCCUPATION: professional cellist / cello teacher

HOMETOWN: los angles, california

SEXUALITY: bisexual

POSITIVES: meticulous, disciplined, intuitive, protective

NEGATIVES: secretive, critical, competitive

about.

antonia grew up in los angles, california. the first thing she knew was that perfection was expected and keeping up the imagine of a perfect family took precedence above all else. when she was eight years old her older brother was kicked out of the house and she was continuously told he wasn’t worth knowing, thought part of her couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to him. still, she trusted her parents and took their word for it.

antonia was made to try a lot of activities in her younger years, and seemed to be in a group or a class almost every day of the week. cello was the one that really stuck. a natural talent it would seem, leading her to land a place at j.uilliard once she’d graduated high school. she’d spend four years there gaining her bachelor of music degree before returning to la. she’d spend the next four years taking on various jobs, from preforming with orchestra’s, to galas and weddings. she also began to teach (and that’s what she’s doing as of right now, or at least hoping to do in Denver.)

growing up she had a decent, if not slightly strained relationship with her mother (there always seemed to be a secret she had to keep, or a lie she had to tell), though her father never seemed to like her at all and treated her as though her mere presence was a major inconvenience. she’d later come to realize (this past Christmas) when she overheard her parents private conversation, that he wasn’t her father at all, and that she had in fact been the byproduct of an affair. this information would spur antonia to take off, go in search of her brother and throw a middle finger up to her parents who she’d spent so long trying to please.

headcanons | extra info.

lying comes extremely easy to her, only for the fact that it always seemed like she had to. she doesn’t exactly like that about herself, but it does come in useful sometimes. but if there is no need to lie she can be a little tactless at times. sometimes comes across as overly critical but she just likes things done a certain way.

antonia was always a top preforming student, and was valedictorian at her high school graduation.

once returning to la after college, antonia fell back in with old friends and went through a partying stage, which at times got pretty dark. she soon realized most of the people around her were being fake, and despite wanting to get out she seemed to get stuck in a rut.

classical music soothes her soul. you won’t find her listening to t-swift after a major life event (though she does like her) it’ll be a classical piece.

wanted connections.

roommate - she’s absolutely going to hate having to live with someone especially if they’re not as neat as she is, but moving to a new place requires it for now.

the boy she dated mainly because of their parents - after college I see her having dated the son of her parents friends. while both of them knew what it was, there potentially could have been real feelings there/developing feelings.

the person she wanted but felt like she should never have - on the flip side someone her parents absolutely would agree with, and despite their spark antonia, for the most part managed to keep away from them. this could change now that she no longer cares for her parents approval.

best friend - preferably also from la, this would be the one person she truly confides in/doesn’t feel the need to keep up the front. the person that gets to see all of her quirks and knows how much for a nerd she truly is.

friends from New York - people she met during her time at college. very open to expand on this one !

old/current rival - from high school, for college, anything really ! Just two people who secretly enjoy being competitive.

her real dad — will make this wc but I definitely think eventually she’ll try and find him.