#My aunt found a cool bakery like an hour away so we made it this whole thing

[caterpillarinacave]

y’all I just got the MOTHERLOAD of all pastries

[deathbymeow]

Left Unanswered

Ladybug landed on Chloe’s balcony some 48 hours after she managed to open the first letter. It was an emotional goodbye, written the night before he left. With shaking hands, it had taken her an hour to finally open it and after seeing his delicate handwriting for the first time in years another to finally read it.

Dear Marinette,

There are no words to explain how sorry I am. I am a mere coward and do not deserve your forgiveness nor do I ask for it. If I could give my life for his I would without any hesitation.

I’m leaving Paris. My father has chosen to send me to New York to study abroad and live with my aunt. I should stand up to him and demand I stay but I fear if I do, I will only make things harder for you.

That’s what I’ve told myself but deep down I know if I stayed, we would never be the same and I don’t know how to live with that.

I broke us before we really ever had a chance.

I want you to know I may have loved the girl in the mask first, but I fell even harder for the one behind it. The last few years I’ve struggled with my growing feelings for you. I didn’t want to complicate your life with my burden. It turned out my burden was already yours.  

I wish it didn’t take losing what we did to realise what was always in front of me. I’ve wasted so many years and now we may never get our chance. I don’t want you to wait for me. I don’t know if or when I’ll be back.

I will forever love you Marinette and my heart will always belong to you and you alone.

Always yours,

Adrien

She read it over and over until she could no longer see through her tears. Her heart ached and she struggled to regain control before she managed to pull it together and read the rest. All 1128 of them. He’d written something every day he was gone. Some letters were just a paragraph or two, a summary of his day. They all ended the same with him telling her just how much he missed her and still loved her.

About a year in, the letters started to change. Adrien wanted to come home, but he didn’t know how. He was scared that she didn’t want to see him. It was almost as if he was waiting for her permission. It broke her even more to think that he’d been waiting all this time for her to answer.

Ladybug took a deep breath and walked into Chloe’s apartment. She knew her way around the spacious layout even with the lights off. It had become her home away from home. It was ironic really. If you had told her that five years ago, she would have fallen over laughing. Zoe had been a huge influence in Chloe’s life and when she’d left to pursue her acting career Ladybug decided to give Queen Bee another chance. Now there was no denying it, Chloe had become one of her best friends. Her home had become a safe haven from all the memories at the bakery that threatened to pull her back down the dark hole of depression.

“Chloe, are you home?” Ladybug called scanning the room. The only light came from a few candles on the coffee table.

“For fuck sakes LB, people have front doors for a reason.” Chloe’s head popped up from the couch. Her hair was a mess and that’s when Ladybug noticed the clothes scattered around the couch. Sabrina’s head popped up next to Chloe’s and she shyly waved.

“Oh, umm yeah sorry. I umm. Sabrina always good to see you. When did you get back into town? Anyway I’ll… sorry.” Ladybug took a few steps back, but Chloe had already grabbed her robe and gotten off the couch.

“No, don’t you dare. You’ve already interrupted, now move it.” Chloe demanded pointing to her bedroom. “Sorry babe, just give us a minute.” She kissed her girlfriend on the lips then gently shoved Ladybug towards her bedroom.

Chloe closed the door and took Ladybugs hands in hers. “Okay before you say anything Luka called me.”

“Chloe I…”

“No look LB I know you two are… well I don’t exactly know what you are. Anyway, he didn’t go into details, but he told me he fucked up royally and that you would probably end up here, so spill. What’s going on?” Chloe asked as she sat on her oversized bed and pulled Ladybug down next to her.

“Fuck. Chloe, I didn’t know. All this time. Oh my god three years. I…” Tears she didn’t know she had left spilled down her cheeks as she started to sob. She hated losing self-control like this but at this point she’d given up on trying to control the emotions she’d hidden for the last three years. It was as if a flood gate had opened and there was no stopping it now.

Chloe didn’t hesitate. She grabbed onto her friend’s shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. “Okay sweets, you need to breath and then explain what you’re talking about.”

“Letters… Luka… didn’t… give… me… only… two days… ago.” Was all she could choke out.

“You have to be shitting me. How many didn’t you see?” Chloe’s voice was laced with venom that Ladybug knew wasn’t directed at her.

“All… of them.”

Chloe softly lifted Ladybug off her so she could look into her eyes. “You’re telling me you didn’t read any of them until now?”

Finally, Ladybug managed to slow her breathing enough to talk without feeling like she was choking on the words trying to leave her mouth. “Luka said I’d told him I never wanted to talk to Adrien again, so he didn’t give then to me. He said he was waiting for the right time.”

“What the actual fuck. Like he wasn’t benefiting from it.” Chloe looked like she wanted to tear him to shreds.

“In no way am I blaming you, but why didn’t you ask me about them? Why didn’t you tell me to reply? Why didn’t you give them to me?” Ladybug couldn’t look at Chloe anymore. She knew what she was asking the blonde and she knew no matter how she worded it, it would come across as an accusation.

“Oh sweets, I did a few times. You always changed the subject as soon as you heard his name. I didn’t want to be that person. You had enough of them always hounding you about things. I know that’s why you come here, to escape it all. Anyway, Luka was around you the most and I trusted him to give them to you on your good days not three fucken years later.” She pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Why did Adrien think running away was the only answer, Chloe? I needed him and he wasn’t there. He didn’t even talk to me before he left.” Ladybug stood up and walked over to the window and looked out at the Eiffel Tower.

“You knew Adrien, but you didn’t know the full extent of his home life. His father is nothing but a monster in designer clothes. Gabriel Agreste mentally tortured that boy. He starved Adrien of love and made him feel so inadequate in everything he did no wonder Adrien blamed himself for every bad thing that ever happened.” Chloe grabbed a piece of paper and a pen off her bedside table and wrote something down. “He tries to hide it but he’s hurting. He’s always been quick to make rash decisions thinking he’s doing the right thing but in reality, half the time he’s just running away.”

Ladybug felt every one of her words slice through her. She looked at her own reflection in disgust. What had she become? Why had she been so quick to doubt him?  

She hadn’t noticed Chloe come up behind her until she put her hand on her shoulder.

“He still loves you. I never believed in that type of love until I saw the way he looks at you. The way his eyes light up when he talks about you even though it clearly hurts him. The way your wounds never healed even with every one’s love. It isn’t our love that you need. You need him as much as he needs you, Marinette.” Chloe passed her the piece of paper. “For when you’re ready. Don’t leave it another three years.”

Ladybug eyed the piece of paper before taking it and tucking it into her suit. “Thank you.” She kissed the blonde’s cheek then slipped out the door and disappeared into the night.  

******

Ladybug sat at the top of the Eifel Tower looking at Adrien’s address until the streets below were empty. And then before she knew what had happened, she was standing on his balcony trying to remember how to breath.

Tired and emotionally drained, her thoughts were a jumbled mess. Was this the right time? Could she really forgive him that easily? Could she forgive herself for that matter? He was probably asleep. This was a stupid idea, what was she thinking. She should just go. What would she say anyway?

As she turned to leave the door opened and a hand softly took hers. Her head lowered and a small sob escaped her lips. His hand felt warm against her gloved fingers. What was she doing? Panic started to grip her senses and she took a step towards the edge. A gentle tug on her hand made her turn around and she inhales as the light reflected off his emerald eyes.

Adrien looked broken. It was clear he hadn’t slept in days. His lip was split and bruised from the fight with Luka a few nights earlier and his hair was a mess making him look more Chat like. Ladybug couldn’t help but notice his bare chest and the way his pyjama pants sat low on his toned hips. A blush spread over her cheeks, and she quickly looked away.

“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to but please don’t go.” He begged gently squeezing her hand.

Ladybug gazed back into his eyes, they seemed to melt into her soul and pull her towards him. She found herself nodding as she let him guide her into his apartment. He let go of her hand to close the door and curtains behind them. Ladybug looked around his dark apartment, Plagg was floating over the kitchen bench, and he gave her a little salute.

“Tikki spots off.” Pink light washed over them and the little Kwami smiled at Marinette before floating over to Plagg and giving him a big hug.  

Adrien hadn’t taken his eyes off her and it wasn’t until she felt the cool night air against her legs that she remembered she was only in an oversized t-shirt and fluffy bed socks.  

“Hey.” He looked almost shy as he smiled down at her. “Can I get you a drink or anything?” he asked as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Marinette shook her head unable to find the words she wanted to say. A moment passed, neither of them talked as they staired into each other’s eyes. She couldn’t help but notice the tension in Adrien’s shoulders, as if he was afraid, if he moved she would run again.

She hated how the distance between them felt like it was miles instead of a few feet. Before she could analyse the situation anymore, she closed the gap and threw her arms around him. Adrien exhaled like he’d been holding his breath then wrapped his arms around her and snuggled his face into her neck.

The two stood in each other’s arms for what could have been a minute or an hour. Time seemed irrelevant at this point. Marinette felt her eyes getting heavy but the thought of leaving physically hurt. So, she did the only logical thing she could think of.

She let go of his chest and took his hand. His eyes never left hers as she walked over to the couch and flopped down, pulling him down next to her.

“Just need to sleep.” Marinette whispered while looking up at him through her long lashes.

Adrien nodded in agreement, he stood up and grabbed the throw blanket from the back of the couch as Marinette curled up on her side. He gently placed it over her and turned to leave but her small hand grabbed his.

“Please don’t go.” Marinette asked as she lifted the blanket for him to climb under.

“As you wish, princess.” He said as he lay down next to her and wrapped her in his arms.

Marinette’s body relaxed against his as if it knew something she didn’t. Even though all her pain, she felt like a part of her had returned. It felt like coming home.

Listening to his heartbeat and surrounded by his warmth it wasn’t long before she fell into a dreamless sleep for the first time in what felt like forever.

[marlmckitten]

Can you do a jealous!Marlene Blackinnon smut? Where Sirius teaches at a Muggle school and one day, Mar decides to supreme him, only to find a fellow colleague all over him and then smut? Also, Marlene and Sirius are already dating. If yes, then thank you sooooo much but if you are not comfortable then it's okay. P.S. Hope you are better now! XOXO!

Thank you thank you! And I like this idea a lot~ I hope I can do it justice! Also I apologize for my really bad habit of never re-reading or editing my work lately!

It was nearing their two year anniversary, as Marlene’s friends kept reminding her. They were not usually the couple for fancy dates and anniversaries and stuff like that. They were quite content with just throwing some insults at each other and finishing their day with sex, or starting it with sex. The point was, they had their relationship exactly how they liked it. It may not be traditional but they were happy. And neither were the most comfortable with bearing their feelings. But, after Lily had reminded Marlene for the 7th time in 3 days, she finally decided at the very least she could surprise him at his work. They didn’t do anything for their first anniversary but maybe she could at least show up with some food for him and see what he liked so much about teaching at a muggle school. She hadn’t even seen the place yet so it wasn’t an entirely bad idea.

She waited until it was nearly lunch hour at the school, grabbed some of their favourite cinnamon buns from a nearby bakery and contemplated bringing some wine but realized that was probably frowned upon. So instead she just grabbed a sparkling soda and made her way to her boyfriends work. She misjudged the time a little, it appeared the lunch break had already started and she had to wander around the school hallways to find him. Eventually someone pointed her in the direction of a staff room and she went there, poking her head in. An older lady smiled and greeted her, but informed her that he had just went to a colleagues classroom to help her with something. Getting more frustrated, she stormed off to where she said that they would be. This is what she got for being thoughtful, had to walk around school hallways for 20 minutes, at this rate by the time she found him, class would resume.

At last she recognized Sirius’ voice, and waked up to the room, she was about to announce herself and push open the door when she heard a very flirtatious giggle from what sounded like a much younger woman than the nice lady who told her where to find her boyfriend. Marlene’s eyes immediately narrowed as she peaked through the tiny opening and watched a young brunette, laugh at some stupid joke and run her hand down Sirius’ arm. She was waiting for her boyfriend to walk away but he didn’t, he smiled at her and leaned back on her desk as they continued talking. When the woman tossed her hair back and told Sirius how nice his arms where, Marlene felt her face flush bright red and she kicked the door open, glaring at the pair of them.

Sirius turned when he heard the noise, his face light up, “Marls! What’re you doing here?” He sounded genuinely happy to see her, as if he wasn’t just about to cheat on her with a school teacher who honestly looked more like a pornstar in Marlene’s eyes right now.

Of course, the female teacher frowned, “Marls? Who is she?” She asked Sirius.

Marlene’s eyebrows raised and Sirius immediately stood up and held his hands up in surrender, “Marlene, I promise I talk about you all the time, Right Clara?” He turned to his coworker hopefully.

Trouble brewed behind Clara’s eyes and she supressed a smirk, “Sorry no, Sirius. I’ve never heard her name in my life. Is she your aunt or something?”

This set Marlene off, “OKAY MISS SLUTTY PORN BITCH, YOU BACK AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND THIS INSTANT!”

Sirius shut his eyes and covered a chuckle with a laugh, “Hey, darling? This is a school you really can’t-”

“I wasn’t the one about to fuck a horny school teacher so don’t you dare tell me what I can or can’t do!”

Clara’s mouth dropped, “I cannot see what you see in this woman.”

“YOU, SHUT UP!” Shouted Marlene, “With your waving your stupid hair around and touching his arms and your general being a whore attitude.”

Sirius finally walked over to Marlene, put his hand on his shoulder and kissed her cheek, “Darling, there was no fucking to be had, she needed help moving her classroom around and I agreed.”

Marlene was still glaring at the woman though. Clara smiled, “Sorry I thought you were his aunt, I just can’t picture you two as a couple and he never said anything about a girlfriend.”

Sirius had to hold Marlene back, “Clara, please don’t do this. She isn’t well known for her patience and calmness.” He kissed Marlene’s head lovingly, “She knows I have a girlfriend, and if we don’t look like a couple it’s only because you’re way too hot for me,” he tried, it worked, she stopped fighting him to get at the girl but still was not happy.

Luckily the same older lady walked by, her brows were furrowed, “Is everything okay in here? A student said he heard some shouting!”

Sirius nodded, running a hand through his girlfriends hair, “Sorry Mrs Gaglardi, just a misunderstanding.”

Mrs Gagladrdi sighed, “Again Clara?” Marlene chucked. “I do apologize, she seems to not hear when people talk about their relationships, but it is nice to meet you Marlene, I have heard so much about you from Sirius. He really is smitten with you. Even has some pictures of you two up in his classroom, he never even comes to faculty events because he says he wants to spend the time with you. Apparently he hasn’t invited you because you have a temper that he says he finds adorable but most people do not.” She looked around. “Clearly he was right.”

Marlene chewed her lip, “Erm.. yeah,” was all she could manage, Sirius’ hand found the small of her back and began to push her out of the classroom.

“Sorry about the miscommunication I’m just gonna go and take her away now,” he apologized to Mrs Gaglardi and walked away with Marlene. Neither of them spoke until he guided her into his classroom and shut the door, Marlene looked around and noticed that he really did have pictures of them together at his desk.

“So.... That Clara girl seems like a bitch.”

“I really did not know she was trying to come onto me!”

Marlene looked at him.

“Okay I knew, but she always does any extra work I have to do after hours which means I get to come home and see you and I did not think you would ever meet her.”

“Well don’t talk to her again, I don’t like her.”

He laughed, “Whatever you want McKitten. So.. why are you here anyway?”

“Oh,” she held up the paper bag with his lunch in it, “I uh... came to surprise you. You know, anniversary tomorrow and all so, hi?”

He took the bag and placed it on his desk, wrapping his arms around Marlene, “Hi,” he whispered before kissing her, “Never thought you’d be the type.... Lily’s behind this isn’t she?”

Marlene rolled her eyes, “Whatever, I was being thoughtful so, you’re welcome, see you later,” she went to talk away but Sirius grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, pushing her against his desk and kissing her again. Marlene broke off the kiss, “Don’t you have to teach?” As if on queue the bell went off but Sirius kept her exactly where she was, she looked at him questioningly, “I’m not really into snogging in front of a bunch of kids, Sirius.”

“It’s Professor Black while we are in this room, McKinnon,” he smirked, “And my kids are on a field trip for the afternoon, I volunteered to stay behind and finish marking some tests but... it seems something more pressing has come into my office.”

“It’s not an office it’s a classroom,” Marlene retorted.

“Professor.”

“What?”

His hand tangled into her hair, “You forgot to call me Professor, or Sir. Whichever suits you best.” He pulled on her hair and Marlene let out a simple, betraying her cool exterior. “That’s what I thought.” She didn’t have anything else to say, she licked her lips and looked up to him, “And I believe, you should be punished for talking back to me.”

“Okay,” she breathed, he tugged her hair harder and raised his eyebrows. She realized what she had said, “I mean.. Yes, Sir.” Marlene felt his erection stiffen on her thigh, it didn’t take much to turn him on, her lips twitched into a smile and her hand went to play with the outside of his pants, he growled into her ear and began kissing her neck, sloppily, but she knew he couldn’t help himself, he picked her up and plopped her onto the desk, she spread her legs and moved herself back, looking at him, watching him examine her and go between her face and looking at her now very exposed thighs. “Are you going to punish me, Professor? Maybe I could make it up to you?”

His hands went up her skirt and his lips found hers again, hungry and wanting to taste her. She moaned into the kiss, letting his hands ghost over her core, she felt herself getting wet at just the lightest touch, and felt his smirk in their kiss as he could feel her warmth and her need. “I think we can work something out, Miss McKinnon,” he said once he pulled away from her again. This time he took a few steps back, “Take your clothes off.”

She looked at him innocently, “All of them?”

“Now,” Sirius demanded.

She did as she was told, getting off the desk and removing article after article until she was completely naked. Marlene decided to tease him a little, she looked down at herself and ran her fingers over her body, circling her nipples and playing with them between her fingers, “Now what, Professor Black?”

It was clear that Sirius was trying hard to keep up the facade when all he wanted was to fuck her. Marlene squeezed her breasts then let go, letting them jiggle as they fell into place. “Fuck,” Sirius muttered under his breath.

“What was that professor?” She feigned innocence again.

“Good girl,” he cooed, something that instantly made her stomach tighten, and warmth grow through her, God she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. “Now come and take these ridiculous pants off for me.” He gestured to him, she considered denying his request but saw how tight they had become as his member grew harder, desperate for release. She went over to him, slowly got onto her knees and then took her time unbuckling his belt. A low growl emitted from her boyfriends throat, “Do it faster.” She did. In no time at all, his pants and boxers were around his ankles and his cock sprang to life. “You know what to do,” he told her. She licked her lips and pushed him all the way down her throat, nearly choking herself. He moaned, his hands grabbed her hair and pushed himself further into her. This time she did choke, he let up a little but she didn’t let him leave her mouth completely. He tasted divine. Her tongue flicked over his balls and she began bobbing her head, she looked up to him and he was looking down at her, clearly enjoying the sight. But it only lasted a minute, before he pulled her hair until his rock hard cock popped out of her mouth.

“I wasn’t done,” she complained, but he kicked the pants off his ankles and marched her to the desk, throwing her towards it.

“Bend over,” he instructed. Her breasts touched the cold wood of the desk, she wiggled her butt in the air and her hands grasped either side of the desk, while her head turned just enough to see the lust on his face. “Beautiful,” he breathed, his finger teased her clit before slipping inside of her, feeling how wet and ready for him she was. “Perfect.”

Without another thought, he slammed himself deep inside of her. They both moaned loudly at the feeling. Marlene was filled up perfectly by him and her grip on the desk tightened. “Fuck,” she said as he pulled out and slammed into her again.

“What was that?” He asked, pulling out but not reentering this time. “Did you want something Miss McKinnon?”

He was bluffing, she knew he was. He wanted this just as much as she did, but she didn’t care. “Pl- please sir, fuck me. I deserve it for talking back. Fuck me hard and fast.”

He did. His cock rammed into her so hard, the entire desk banged against the wall loudly, it didn’t stop either of them. She whimpered and he did it again. He felt so good inside of her, she needed more, she pushed herself against him and they began moving in perfect rhythm with one another. They were both letting out profanities as she felt warmth through every single one of her limbs. Her fingers gripped the desk so tightly that they were going white, and her hips were surely getting bruised by repeatedly hitting the desk. But none of that mattered as much as the feeling of him inside of her. His fingers found her clit again and began stimulating it and she couldn’t remember how to even breath. A loud shrill voice filled the room that she did not even recognize as her own. She heard his grunt behind her and eventually heard him telling her to cum. Marlene knew it was because he was just as close as she was and he applied more pressure on her clit. An orgasm ripped through her entire body, she screamed out in pleasure and then felt him explode inside of her, filling her with his juice. He pumped into her more slowly a few times, while they both came down from their high. She panted and now could feel his sweaty body collapsing on hers, arms wrapping tightly around her and kissing her back in a million tiny kisses. “I love you,” he told her, still inside of her, not wanting leave the warmth of her body just yet.

She turned, he finally removed himself from her insides and she felt how full she was with his semen, it dripped down her legs, but she didn’t care, “I love you too,” she said, kissing his lips gently. Eventually Sirius leaned down to pass her clothes to her before pulling his own pants back up. Her legs were still shaking from her orgasm as she dressed. “How did- Are you going to get into trouble?” She asked, now having it dawn on her just how loud they were.

What she didn’t expect was his child-like grin and a wink, “Nah I think we are okay.”

“How?”

“James gave me a heads up,” he admitted, “I asked Clara to pretend to hit on me, she’s married, has some kids, not my type at all. Knew it would get you jealous. I already sound-proofed this room before you came and asked Clara to combine our classes for next period because I had an errand to run.”

Her jaw dropped open, “You- you?!”

Stepping closer to her, he ran his thought her hair and down her back, eventually resting it on her ass. He leaned down and kissed her again, “I don’t think you minded that much, Miss McKinnon?”

That, she could not argue with, but she still felt played, “I’ll see you at home, Professor. But you owe me.”

Sirius chuckled, “Oh I’m sure I’ll find a way to make it up to you.

[cornholio4]

Miraculous Fantasy chapter 1

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was with her parents as they were in the limo of Audrey Bourgeois, Marinette had ended up deciding she wanted to take her out on her offer of being taken to New York in order to become her protégée. She did say that she wanted Audrey to keep in touch with her daughter Chloe, so she ended up helping her biggest bully bond some more with her mother.

Go figure.

She had a hard time saying goodbye to her friends but they had all promised to keep in touch through video chat and messages. Her friends from the class and school had all set up a going away party for her which was also attended by Jagged Stone (to everyone’s delight), her grandmother Gina and Nadja Chamack along with Manon.

She definitely was going to miss Alya, her best friend since the start of the school year. If it wasn’t for her advice and encouragement, she didn’t think she would have ever had the confidence she needed to continue being Ladybug or stand up to Chloe.

She was guilty about leaving them all but even guiltier about leaving Paris without Ladybug but Master Fu had the solution. The Horse Miraculous with Kaalki as its Kwami, gifted with the power of teleportation. With it an Akuma alert on her phone it means she can teleport back to Paris to deal with any emergencies as Ladybug.

It would be hard and something to get used to but she wanted to take her duties as Ladybug seriously while taking this enormous opportunity to further her fashion career.

She had arrived with her parents Tom and Sabine to New York in Audrey’s helicopter and had directed them to her limo. She was now taking them to the bakery building that Audrey had bought for them to start up their baker business again.

She could not beleive how supportive her parents were of her taking this apprenticeship deal and willing to re-establish their bakery in a whole different city. They were truly the best parents she could ever hope to ask for.

She and her parents were speechless looking at the tall buildings and busy streets, “Get used to Queens my dear protégée, it is the perfect place for the Queen of Fashion and the new home for the future Queen of Fashion.” Audrey remarked with a smile from her seat which was facing them. She then had a bit of a frown. “Of course when you get there Marinette, I hope you won’t repeat Gabriel’s error and forget to get me my front row seat for the fashion shows you would be hosting.” She remarked to Marinette’s direction.

Marinette gave a nervous nod as Audrey turned her attention to the window; Marinette looked to her handbag where Tikki was hiding. Tikki had been looking at the pamphlet (translated into French) of the school that she would be transferred to. Midtown Academy; a gifted school with different programs for the students and their specialties including science and of course fashion.

“Looks like it will be a good school Marinette, hopefully there will not be another Chloe.” Tikki whispered to Marinette and she smiled in response. Tikki was doing her best to be there for Marinette for this new change of life and circumstances.

The limo driver stopped and told them they were there; they went out and saw the bakery building which looked not a lot different from the one from home if only without color and it looked like it had been closed for some time. Probably from the previous owners. “I know it looks drab but I am sure you can fix it a bit.” Audrey told them shaking her head.

“No worries Audrey, we can make it home in no time!” Tom said pulling Marinette and Gina into his arms but Audrey sighed.

They then heard something on the road and were shocked to see a futuristic car speeding by and at the back holding on and looking like he was trying to stop it was a costumed figure.

The figure was dressed in a red hooded sleeveless jumper with a black spider logo on it, a light blue top underneath it, a red ski mask, black ski goggles, red fingerless gloves, red boots and light blue track bottoms.

They were shocked but Audrey shook her head, “Great, it’s that dumpster diving Spider-Man again. He started appearing a few months ago and brings disaster wherever he goes.” Audrey explained in a displeased tone.

“Well looks like we won’t be far from red clad heroes in New York either.” Gina commented with a smile that Tom and Marinette returned. Audrey shook their heads as she had her driver help them get their bags inside so they could start unpacking.

Marinette shared a quick glance at Tikki inside her handbag as they both thought that this Spider-Man could be someone to keep an eye on.

*pb*

It had been a normal day at Midtown Academy for Peter Parker, paying attention to all his classes and talking to his friends in his class. Afterwards with all his homework done and his Aunt May having let him know beforehand she would be late with her job working at the FEAST homeless shelter, he thought he could spend some time being Spider-Man.

Once he had gotten changed he had gone out and started web slinging, some people were taking pictures or video with their phones as they saw him but he had to be careful to try and not get seen by any police officers.

While some people appreciated what he did, the NYPD were not exactly on friendly terms with him. Most of them did not appreciate a masked vigilante interfering in police work, he got some on his side but for the most part they were not fans of him.

he found a speeding futuristic car speeding by on the road and was quick to try and catch it this time. The car and the driver had been the getaway driver for several robberies. He had tried but hadn’t been able to catch it. The car was too fast before.

He had wanted to marvel at how the car could work and what technology was in it but he had to focus on catching it.

He had web slinged after it and had been trying to stop it for about three quarters of an hour. He had grabbed hold o if it but was forced to let go several times. Call it being determined or being stupidly stubborn but he refused to give up.

He was getting him this time.

It paid off as he managed to slow down the car from the back and rip off the door; he jumped up to the front of the car and managed to force it to slow down. He went and grabbed the driver who was in a black bodysuit and a black race car driving helmet with a blue visor.

He dragged him out and was stunned to see the car as if by magically turn into a normal car. The passerbys were taking pictures and the man told him “pretty cool huh? I have special nanites injected into my blood that allows me to transform any vehicle I am driving and make them super fast! If you have any Superhero friends can you please tell them that I go by Overdrive!”

Peter stood stunned but then saw police cars arrive and out came a familiar blonde haired police captain glaring harshly at Peter. “Hey George, glad to see your eye has healed....” Peter said nervously.

“Captain Stacy to you Wallcrawler, now put your hands......” snapped Captain George Stacy but Peter just jumped up and ran up the nearest building. The police officers arrested Overdrive and Captain Stacy called for police helicopters to look out for Spider-Man.

He got up and then was in a hurry to web sling to his secret base, hopefully before they can pick up his trail.

Captain George Stacy was easily the police officer who was out for Spider-Man’s blood the most. On the 2nd week of being Spider-Man, Peter had gotten word of a sale of weapons in a district by a criminal carter. He had jumped into the middle of the meeting.

Captain Stacy was pretty much his harshest critic besides J. Jonah Jameson, the man who owned and ran the controversial internet news outlet the Daily Bugle.

He had taken out most of the men and had kicked the head of the buyers hard in the eye. It turns out the head buyer was Captain Stacy and the men with him were undercover cops and he had ruined a sting operation.

Peter had apologised in a panic and escaped before Captain Stacy’s backup could arrive. He had definitely not a made a friend with Captain Stacy there.

Making sure no one was looking Peter made it to the warehouse district and opened up a high window of one of the warehouses. This warehouse had belonged to his parents before they had died and Aunt May and Uncle Ben (when he was still with them) had given him the keys. He had been using it as his base which he called the Spider’s Nest.

Of course calling it a base would be generous.

There were tables of various broken down gadgets that he had taking to fixing, there were clothes hangers for the other copies of the suit he had gotten (mostly from charity stores), a fixed up computer and a fixed up sewing machine he was using to mend his suits when he needed to as well as sew the Spider logo into his jumpers.

He sighed as he gotten changed into his normal clothes and thought he could rest for a while before need to go back home to his and Aunt May’s apartment. He looked to the wall where there were various posters he had put up.

There was one that was advertising Ultimate Mecha Strike III (the first one was one of his favourite Video Games, the second one was kind a disappointment in his eyes but the third one was a well worthy of being the true follow up of the first one), there was one with the logo of Horizon Labs the company ran by one of his personal science heroes Max Modell and of the world famous superheroine Majestia.

She was one who probably didn’t need to worry about the police being after her since whenever she saved the Earth it would make the front page. She was amazing and hopes that he could live up to her standard of Superheroing one day.

Of course he was also hoping to live up to the memory of someone close to him that he had lost....

[bucky-of-the-opera]

Mother (Part 2)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: Steve tells his children a bedtime story about him and Y/N.

Warnings: language, fluff, kissing

Word Count: 2,820

A/N: I loved combining two of my favorite shows. And I love Dad!Steve

Part 1

It was just after 1am; you were lying in bed with Steve’s chest flush against your back and his arms wrapped around you. You were just about to slip into unconsciousness when you heard two consecutive thuds and the sound of tiny feet running down the hall. “They’re up again,” you said, your eyes still closed. Steve yawned. “Three, two, one—” Right on cue, the door flung open. Your son and daughter climbed onto your bed and leapt on top of you and Steve. “What are you monkeys doing up?” you said as they both crawled under your blankets. They giggled as you and Steve enveloped them in your arms. “We woke up. So we’re not tired anymore!” you daughter Charlotte said. “You’ve only been asleep for four hours. How can you not be tired?” Steve asked. “I dunno!” your son Bailey exclaimed. You sighed. “Well, you might not need sleep. But grown ups do. Let’s go,” you said, flinging the blanket off. “No!” they shouted in unison, tugging the blanket back over their heads. “I got this,” Steve told you. You chuckled and got back under the covers. “Do you guys wanna hear a story about me and Mommy?” A muffled “Yes” could be heard from under the blanket. Steve peeled the covers back so he could see your children’s faces. “One story, and then you both go back to your rooms. Okay?” They both nodded. You put your elbow on the pillow and rested your head on your hand, getting ready to listen to his story. Steve turned on the lamp on his nightstand. He smiled at his little family and cleared his throat. “This is the story of when your Aunt Nancy, Uncle Jonathan, Aunt Robin, Mom, and I spent our first Thanksgiving together. Usually during the holidays, we would all go home to visit our own families. But since your Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jonathan had just gotten married, and I had started dating Mom, we decided to have our own Thanksgiving dinner in New York.”

*** Nancy was in the kitchen stuffing the turkey when Steve walked in. “Nance, you’ve cooked a turkey before, right?” he asked. She stopped prepping to look up at him. “Not exactly. But I’ve cooked chicken before, and how different is it really?” “Oh god.” She waved him off. “It’ll be fine Steve. I have a cookbook and google.” He opened his mouth to speak right as someone had knocked on the front door. Steve walked over to see who it was and opened the door to reveal Robin. “Salutations, my hairy friend,” she said as she brushed past him. “I brought the potatoes, Nancy.” “Robin, these are prepared mashed potatoes. I asked you to bring actual potatoes,” Nancy said. “But these cook in like, five minutes. And you don’t even have to use the oven. I’m just trying to make your life easier,” she shrugged. Nancy sighed. “Fine, put them in the fridge please.” Robin turned to face Steve. “So, Harrington.” “So, Buckley.” “Are you bringing your girlfriend to our sacred family dinner?” Steve scratched his head. “Well, she’s not actually my girlfriend yet…” “How long have you been seeing this girl?” Robin folded her arms. “Three weeks.” “And did you invited her to our Thanksgiving Dinner?” “Yeah…” Nancy dropped the pan she was holding. “Excuse me? Did you seriously invite another one of your floozies to our dinner?” “Wait, Nance, this is different. She’s not some floozy.” “But you haven’t made it official yet?” Robin asked. “I’ve just been waiting for the right moment.” Robin sighed. “Are you at least getting laid?” “Robin!” “What? I’m just looking out for you.” “Please don’t ask anything like that when Y/N gets here.” “Steve!” Nancy shouted. “I can’t believe you invited a stranger over to our first family Thanksgiving!” “She’s not some stranger! She’s the girl who interviewed that dog, Pickles! And I really think I could marry this girl some day.” Nancy shook her head. “You always do this. You invite girl after girl over to our special family events, claiming you’ve found ‘the one’. And then you end up dumping them a week or two later, but by then, they’ve already become eternalized in all of our pictures.” “I know I’ve brought a few girls to a birthday every now and then—” “A few? Ha!” Nancy cut in. “Let me show you some pictures.” She got out her phone and scrolled through her albums until she found the one she was looking for. “Here we go!” She thrust the phone in front of Steve’s face. “My birthday last year, Robin’s birthday, Christmas, Fourth of July, National Ice Cream Day—” “Okay! Fine, maybe I do bring my fair share of dates to our parties and dinners and stuff. But Nancy, I really like this girl. She’s not like any of the others. There’s this feeling I get when I’m with her…I can’t describe it. I just know I’ve never felt like this about anyone else before.” Nancy groaned and shoved her phone back into her pocket. “Fine, Steve. But she’s taking the photo.” Nancy poked her head into the living room. “Jonathan! Can you start setting the table?” “The turkey takes like, three hours to cook. Can’t I do it later?” he asked. “But I want everything ready so all I have to worry about is the food.” “But—” “Dude,” Steve said, cutting Jonathan off. “Happy wife, happy life.” Jonathan nodded and started setting the table. You were supposed to arrive about two hours later, so Steve had to finish getting ready. He grabbed his clothes from his room and locked himself in the bathroom. Over an hour later, Steve still hadn’t returned, so Robin pounded on the door. “Jesus, Harrington! Did you fall in?” The door swung open, letting billows of steam escape. “Do you know how long it takes to make my hair look this good?” Steve walked straight to another mirror to apply a last minute touch up. Meanwhile, you had just got to the building. You climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. “Shit! She’s early!” Steve sprinted to the door, tripping on his untied shoelace. He brushed his clothes off and took a deep breath before pulling on the handle. His heart skipped a beat when he saw you standing there; you had put on one of your nicer outfits and wore your hair differently than you normally did. “Hi Steve,” you smiled at him. “Hi Y/N.” He pulled the door open more to let you walk into the apartment.Steve took your coat from you and hung it up. You handed him the pumpkin pie you had brought with you. “It’s my uncle’s recipe; literally the best pie I’ve ever eaten.” “Better than the pie at that bakery I took you to last week?” “Oh, so much better.” “Damn, well I can’t wait to try it. I’ll go put this in the kitchen.” When he left, Robin walked over to you. “Hey, we met briefly a few weeks ago. I’m Robin.” “Oh, right! You introduced me to Steve. I’m Y/N; it’s so nice to meet you properly.” “So,” she tilted her head, grinning.  “How are things going with you two?” “Hey, Y/N!” Steve returned before you could answer, placing his arm around you. “Let me introduce you to Nancy and Jonathan. They’re both in the kitchen.” As he pulled you away, he turned his head back around to look at Robin and give her the ‘I’m watching you’ signal. She rolled her eyes and sat back down on the couch. Steve cleared his throat. “Y/N, this is Nancy and Jonathan. Nancy and Jonathan, this is Y/N.” “Steve’s told me so much about you guys, I’m so happy I finally get to meet his best friends.” Nancy looked you up and down before giving a small smile. “Steve seems to really like you, so hopefully you last longer than his past dates ever did.” Jonathan and Steve locked eyes before Jonathan butted in. “Hey, Y/N, have you ever heard of the cockamouse? I took some really cool pictures you should see.” He practically dragged you away, leaving Steve and Nancy alone in the kitchen. “I’m sorry,” Nancy said, before Steve could say anything. “I didn’t mean to say that. I’ll behave.” Steve nodded. “Thanks, Nance.” He helped her with some of the cooking until she forced him out of the kitchen. “You’re gonna burn something. Go back to your date.” Steve froze. “How long has she been alone with Jonathan?” “He’s probably shown her his entire Bigfoot collection by now.” “I’m gonna go save her,” he said, taking off towards Johnathan and Nancy’s room. Jonathan was showing you the pictures he took of what he claimed to be an actual UFO just as Steve burst into the room. “Hey, Nancy needs your help in the kitchen.” Jonathan set the pictures down and left the bedroom, leaving you and Steve alone. “So, are you a believer yet?” You chuckled. “I think I just agreed to a road trip to Roswell.” “Bring me back a T-shirt.” He walked over to you, grabbing hold of your hand. You looked down at your interlocked fingers and then up at Steve’s face. He smiled softly at you. “I hope this isn’t weird; me inviting you to Thanksgiving when you haven’t even met my friends before.” “It’s fine, Steve. I’m just excited that I get to spend more time with you.” You wrapped your free hand around the back of his head, your fingers lost in his hair. Your eyes flickered back and forth between his eyes and his tongue that kept darting out. Finally, you leaned forward, capturing his lips with yours. Steve pressed his hands against the small of your back to pull you against him. You clenched the front of his shirt as you slipped your tongue into his mouth, making him moan into yours. Just then, a shutter noise went off and you both pulled apart. Robin was standing in the doorway, aiming her phone at you two. “Dammit, Robin. Put the phone away,” Steve groaned. “I was just coming to tell you that dinner was ready. But from the looks of it, you two were already getting started on dessert.” She threw her hand up in the air. “Up top, Stevie.” “Are you serious? I’m not high-fiving that. Come on, Y/N.” Steve took your hand and started walking towards the door. “Wait, Steve, please!” He ignored her. Robin turned to you. “Y/N! Come on, you can’t leave me hanging.” Steve pulled you out of the bedroom before you could respond. You both joined Nancy and Jonathan at the table, followed by Robin, who’s hand was still stuck in the air. “Hey Nance, have I mentioned how much I like your new hairdo?” Robin asked with a pained look on her face. Nancy stared at her for a moment before serving the mashed potatoes. “I’m not high-fiving you for whatever it is you said to Steve and Y/N.” Robin groaned. “Hey, Jonny Boy, I saw those new pics you took of that totally real flying saucer. They were epic. You have a real talent.” “You really think so?” Jonathan asked. “Oh, I know so. Come on, gimme five.” He leaned over towards her just as Nancy pulled his hand away. “She’s just playing you, Jonathan.” He blushed. “Right, of course.” Steve turned his head to whisper to you. “I know you’re thinking it, and the answer is yes; they are weird. All the time.” You chuckled. “What’s wrong with weird?” “Absolutely nothing,” he said before he kissed your cheek. Nancy kept glancing at the two of you throughout dinner. To her, this date seemed different than the others. Maybe Steve was right for once; maybe you were ‘the one’. After dinner and dessert had been finished, Nancy grabbed her phone from the kitchen. “All right everyone, it’s time for pictures!” The table collectively groaned but huddled in front of the fire place anyway. You were unsure of whether you were invited in the group photo, so you lingered behind. “Do you want me to take the photo, Nancy?” you asked. Steve opened his mouth to speak, but Nancy cut him off. “Don’t be silly. You’re part of our group, so that means you have to be in the group photo.” She glared at the others. “Whether you want to or not.” She took your hand and led you to the fireplace. Steve stood behind you with his arms wrapped around your front and his chin resting on your head. Nancy set the timer on the phone’s camera and hurried back to join you all. “Everyone say ‘Thanksgiving’!” “Thanksgiving,” the group mumbled. After the picture was taken, Steve invited you to the rooftop. He helped you onto the fire escape and held your hand as you made your way to the top. The night was clear, so you could see all the stars in the sky. “Wow, this is beautiful, Steve.” “Not as beautiful as you.” He waggled his eyebrows. You groaned. “That was so cheesy.” “Good cheesy though, right?” You cupped his cheek. “Good cheesy.” Steve leaned into your touch and wrapped his arms around you. “Y/N, I know we only met three weeks ago. But it feels like I’ve known you for so much longer.” He paused to release a breath. “I’m crazy about you, and I wanted to ask you if you would be my girlfriend.” “Oh, god,” you said, placing your hand on your chest. “I thought you were about to say something absolutely insane, like you loved me or something.” He laughed. “Could you imagine if I did? What psycho tells someone they love them so soon after meeting them?” You giggled and pressed your forehead against his. “I’m crazy about you too, Steve. And I would love to be your girlfriend.” Steve picked you up, and you wrapped your legs around him as he spun you around. He kissed you slowly as he placed you back down. “Why don’t we go back inside? It’s too cold to stay out here,” Steve said. He followed you back into the living room. Nancy and Jonathan were lounging on the couch while Robin was lying upside down on the chair, her arm still raised above her head. She quickly got up when she saw the two of you return. “Well? Did you ask her? Did she say yes?” Steve nodded. Robin thrust her hand in Steve’s face. He sighed and gave her a high five. “Oh, sweet Jesus! Thank you!” She pulled Steve and you into a hug, squeezing you both tightly. “Thank you so much,” she sniffed, collapsing back into her chair and clutching her arm. “It’s getting pretty late; I should probably head home,” you said. “Oh, right. I’ll walk you out.” You said your goodbyes to everyone else, and Steve walked with you to the door. He grabbed your coat, helping you put it on. “You know…I don’t have any roommates.” You bit your lip, glancing up at him. “Yeah, I noticed that when I came over the other day. What’s that like? It must get pretty lonely at times.” Robin groaned loud enough for you to hear. “He’s so goddamn stupid. Have I completely wasted my time by taking him under my wing?” Steve blushed. “Shut up, Robin.” He stepped out into the hallway with you. “Sorry, um, what were you saying again?” “Well, I was trying to ask you if you wanted to come back to my place, but maybe I wasn’t as clear as I thought I was.” He ran his hand over his face. “No, Robin’s right. I’m just stupid.” “Hey, don’t call my boyfriend stupid.” Steve smiled, grabbing your hand. “It won’t happen again.” You started tugging him towards the stairwell. “Let’s go; I’ve got a new mattress that needs breaking in.” He chuckled. “Now that, I understood.” *** “And, as you both know, we still spend Thanksgiving together as a family.” “Steve,” you whispered. “They fell asleep.” He looked down at your children. “At what part?” “Somewhere around ‘cockamouse’.” He sighed. “Maybe one day they’ll appreciate my stories.” You reached across both children to place your hand on Steve’s arm. “Hey. I love your stories.” He took your hand, lifting it up to kiss the back of it. “I know. It’s why you married me, isn’t it?” “One of the reasons,” you grinned. “I can’t say some of the other reasons when there’s tiny ones present.” “I guess you’ll just have to tell me after Nancy comes to pick up the kids in the morning then.” You hummed in agreement as you started to nod off. Steve turned off the lamp and laid down under the covers. “Goodnight, love.” “G’night Stevie.”

[goingsllightlymad]

Blinded By Your Light Part 5 - On Befriending.

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader

Summary: Y/N is the definition of ordinary. Studying at a medical school as far as she can get from her rainy hometown of Birmingham, she never expected to be shipped off the Flanders when the war was at it’s peak. Much less to meet a handsome young patient with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes she had seen in her life who as fate would have it would fall into her lap.

Wordcount: 7783 (back to the glory days of me having absolutely no self-control).

Warnings: Shit is GAY. My tiny bi ass physically cannot write Polly or Ada without it sounding like the reader is madly in love with them because guess what bitch I am and you should be too. This was as platonic as I could get it, folks. But no, because we must cater to the Straights, this is not actually Ada x reader except platonically. Sad times, huh. Also if reader had got with Ada why the everloving fuck would she end up with Tommy as the pairing states. Why the fuck would you break up with Ada. Why. (RIP to Freddie Thorne but I’m different).

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As you walked, you ran your fingertips along the bricks of the buildings that passed by. There was a part of you that was still wondering if any of this was real at all. Another part of you that prayed that it was not. The dirty little neighbourhood, the handful of children playing in the street with broken toys and trousers stained with mud like the blood of Mother Nature hung to slaughter, all of it the world you knew but oh so slightly different, colder and greyer like the shadow of a life burning away to darkness.

The sound of the city had crescendoed gradually into a muffled chorus of footsteps and hushed conversation, women in long coats and shawls making their way hurriedly down the street to the market, and you remembered the city from up on your uncle's shoulders, looking down upon the shopfronts like the world you owned alone, a tangle of memories and faces you thought a younger you might have known and loved, but now all you felt was apathy, the sadness that came with having neither family nor home, nor way to regain the feeling of belonging that you were beginning to suspect you would never find again.

You found the first house easily enough, half-run down and with a bright bloom of red upon the door that may have been paint or blood or something in between. You were beginning to get used to the sight of blood everywhere you looked, and it made you even more uneasy. When you knocked upon the door, a sweet old lady with a kind face answered, and you wrapped up her loaves of bread in paper and gave them to her, thanking her for the money she gave you in return and pocketing the small change she pressed into your palm as a welcome-back gift.

And so you found your way across Small Heath, your basket depleting quickly as you knocked and gave and went away again, reading and rereading the names on your slip of paper as though those empty words could somehow bring back all the memories that were fading in the cold light of reality. The town you had been waiting so long to return to was here in front of you, and it was not your home at all.

It was an hour or so later that you came at last to the last name on the list, Gray. A pub, The Garrison, a little a little larger than most of the others you had seen before, the curtains drawn and tied tight against the street and you wondered what they were keeping out, and worse still, what they were keeping in. You knocked on the door, scrubbed clean but you could still catch the faded mural of blood upon the sturdy wood, and stepped back into the street to wait. A minute passed, then two and three and four, and you were searching the building for somewhere safe to leave the basket when the door finally cracked open. Through the gap in the door, you caught the gleam of light on cold black metal, the mouth of a gun. You held up your free hand, trying to keep your voice from shaking as you tried to pick out a face through the sliver of gloom revealed behind the door.

"I-I have bread. I'm delivering bread. I work-I work for the bakery!" you spat out, letting out a long sigh of relief as you saw the gun lower.

"Where's April?" your aunt, the one who usually made the deliveries. The one they trusted, because she hadn't run off to Kent to fuck around with the rich kids.

"I'm sorry, she said I would be doing... this. I work there now." you held out the basket of bread as a peace offering, and the door opened wider to reveal a woman with tight brown curls and eyes that seemed to stare right through you, taking in all your secrets and reading each thought that flashed through your head. She was beautiful in a way that made you so sure that she had killed men for calling her beautiful, and in her face was a power more than that of any king that you had known. The power of the goddess, waiting behind beloved gods and knowing she was more.

"S'pose you're her niece now, en't yer?" she muttered, almost sneered, and you felt that she could feel the pain within you,

"Yeah. Yeah, that's right." you steeled, straightening your spine and forcing yourself to hold her gaze, taking in the depth of her cool brown eyes, so dark they were almost black.

"Away quite a while, weren't yer." she looked at you and suddenly you knew that you were never going to come back and slip back into what remained of your life because here she was and she knew, and so did everyone in this godforsaken neighbourhood and so did you, and there was nothing you could do to take back what you'd already done. Your entire story was written out before you for the whole word to read and you were desperately trying to tape together the pages before the words began to leak off the paper and onto your skin.

"I was... I was working." and you both knew that was not true. You were running away because you thought if you didn't get away then you never would, and this town was too small for the chaos in your mind. And now your mind was empty, the town so large you could hear your thoughts in every step you took away from the life you had tried so hard to find. You weren't working, you were caught up in a daydream that you all knew couldn't last, and you were fighting to stay asleep as the rest of the world hurt and bled and died without you.

"Not fer yer dad, eh?" she raised an eyebrow at that, and it sent a shot of guilt through your heart. She was right - of course she was - and she knew it. It was difficult to see that the thought was tearing you apart, pulling at every last trace of humanity in your cold and lonely body, hurting you over and over and a little more every time. You had left your father, and now look what had happened, and you knew it wasn't your fault but wasn't it?

"N-no. Thought maybe I'd try something new." Something new, a million miles away, somewhere new, with someone new and now you were here and he was not and you were doing the same things you did a million years ago as though you never left and there was all the world and more to remind you that you had.

"And now yer back? Wonder how that turned out for yer." and she could see and you could see and everyone in this goddamn town could see the pain in your eyes and somehow she needed more.

"It was fine, thank you. I mean, I'm glad to be back, though." you smiled weakly, and in a way it was easier to be home and tell them all the truth that you'd made up on the train here than to stay away and keep lying that everything was fine. This neighbourhood was messed up and you'd missed a thousand lifetimes of the ones you loved the most, but now you were here and you wouldn't miss another day. You had missed the worst of times, and it only made sense that you were back now and it was time for you to face what you had put off for so long.

"Shouldn't be. Don't see why anyone should be glad to be back in this shit'ole." her eyes darkened, a shadow passing over them and she seemed all at once the great and forbidding spider at the centre of this web of darkness and change. You wondered, not for the first time, what it was she knew.

"Ain't so bad, is it?" you rocked back and forth on your heels, pushing your point as you looked into her eyes as though held in place.

"And you would know? Been away quite a while, ain't yer. Don't think things have changed?" her voice was lilting and undeniably cruel, a depth to it that made it all a terrible test, designed to catch you unawares.

"So I hear. Colder than it used to be, at least." your joke was met with a small smile which took you by surprise. A soft smile, human, like she was letting you in but not too far.

"Maybe it just seems it." she looked around her at the street, grey as the sun passed behind a dark cloud, and then back to you and your basket of bread. Her eyes rested on the basket a moment, as though she had only just remembered why you were here. "How many more stops 'ave yer got left?"

"Oh this is my last." you lifted up the basket, gesturing to the last few loaves of bread and pastries left in it.

"Good. Come in and have tea." It was less of an invitation than a statement, she searched you again with her piercing eyes, glancing behind her at the front of the pub.

"...now?"

"Yes." she smiled tightly, and even before she had finished speaking she was turning on her heel and going back into the pub. There was something about her, about the building before you and the way she seemed to know so much about you and about the rest of the world you had not yet seen, that pulled you in behind her, and before you had time to think it through you were closing the front door behind you.

"O-okay, sure. I don't want to intrude or-" you found yourself in the main room, empty save for the bartender wiping down the bar, whose eyes widened as you entered and you shot him a quick smile as you passed. On the other side of the room, the woman was taking two china cups from a cabinet. She turned at your words, and fixed you with that sharp stare.

"Then don't intrude. It's just tea, (Y/N.)" she laid the cups down on a table in the middle of the room, disappearing into an anteroom and reappearing a moment later with a teapot and a bowl of sugar. She sat, gesturing at the other chair expectantly, and you sat opposite her, setting down the basket of bread beside your chair. For a moment, as she poured out two cups of tea, setting one in front of you carefully, no one spoke, the only sound the rush and squeak of the bartender's cloth against the counter as he rubbed it clean.

"Thank you." you took a sip of your tea, winced as it burnt your tongue. The woman opposite you tried not to smile at that, and you tried not to blush. "I never caught your name."

"I never gave it." she looked down at her tea, "Polly Gray."

"Probably knew my parents, didn't you." you pretended you weren't glancing up through your eyelashes as you waited for her to answer, trying to catch any emotion that might have passed across her face. But her face was impassive, and she took a while to answer.

"Once. Good people, honest. Never did them much good, but they were honest." her face was emotionless, her low chuckle bitter and all-knowing, as though she knew every last thought that had brought them to this sad fate.

"Everyone seems to know them but me. Everyone seems to know me but me." you smiled bitterly, tapping against the china of your cup with your nails, and if you knew her better you might have said that she pitied you, but any woman you might have known was gone now, and the one you saw before you was utterly impossible. Once the moment had passed you had no idea why you'd said it, but she seemed to soften to you once you had, and she wrapped her hands around her cup thoughtfully, eyes and mind wandering listlessly around the room.

"War'll do that to yer. Believe me, I know." her voice was far away, heard across a canyon as though she were anywhere in the world except for here with you, and you lifted your heavy head to look at her as she spoke. She looked quiet, dreamy, still harsh and cold but something so much more, and she reminded you so much of your mother.

"Your family?" you were trying not to pry, unsure of how far your luck would let you go, but all of a sudden you really wanted to know. She was incredible, a beautiful enigma and you were looking in through the window at this life that was so much more than your own, snatching snapshots of a lifetime filled with happiness but even more of pain, trying to piece together the story before she closed herself up again. There was something about her, about every word she said, that made you want nothing more than to hang onto every line and word and syllable, breathe it all in like air to stay alive and find out more and more and more.

"My nephews. Everyone knows the Shelby's apart from me, apparently."

The name shocked you, nearly made you dropped your teacup to the floor. You blinked, eyes wide and suddenly very much awake, trying not to let on that your entire world was resting on what she would say next, and you wondered could she know? You were almost sure she'd seen it the second she saw your face, the story that wasn't even a story, more like the scribbled fairytales of a child alone with the fever of their mind, the way your life might fit with hers in a jigsaw puzzle of impossible fate.

And then you came to, shook your head and pushed the thought aside. He said he had no family, no home to go to. He said there was nothing waiting for him but work and the inescapable cold of these bleak British winters, no aunt at all in her tidy pub with cups of tea made ready in the parlour. Wouldn't he have told you if there was something like this in his past (in his present it would be now, for you were nothing but his past, and that if you were lucky; when the letters never came it had become very clear that you were nothing to him at all)? And if he would not have told you, what did he have to hide? No, the name was a coincidence, and you knew better than to ask more about Polly's nephews as she sat, unusually vulnerable, before you. There were far too many Shelby's in England to lose your head over every one.

For a long moment you sat once more in silence, taking in the pub as you tried not to meet her eyes. You feared she might pity you, or you might pity her, and you were not entirely sure which would be worse. Pity was the cheapest thing that one could buy in this cruel age of love and loss, and you would not whore yourself out for less than love could pay you peace.

The silence was filled with the crash of footsteps down stairs in the backroom, bursting in through the doors and into the pub in a whirlwind of chaos and shouting. Through the main room came a very dishevelled girl, hair a mess, makeup smeared down her face and her dress half unbuttoned. You bit back a smirk, knowing full well it wasn't your place to make any sort of comment on the scene that was unfolding all around you. Polly was rubbing her eyes wearily with one hand, sighing exasperatedly and you wondered how often this happened. The man who ran into the room was in a similar state, his fly undone and his shirt pulled out, and you thought you had a pretty good idea of what they were doing, try as you might not to think about it too much.

Breaking into a quick jog, the girl hurried past you, throwing open the pub doors and flouncing out as the boy followed her, shouting at her to just wait a minute and listen. By the time he had passed your table she was gone, out of the door and probably some way out of sight, and he gave up, leaning back against the bar and throwing his head back in defeat. You wondered if now was the right time to tell him that his fly was still open (probably not).

"I was just sayin' how I really missed this." Polly drawled sarcastically, lifting her eyes languorously from her tea and drawing them to his pathetic state.

"Mornin' Pol." the boy muttered, looking at her and not bothering to hide his curious expression when his eyes landed on you. "And Pol's friend."

"(Y/N)." you smiled at him, and he grinned widely at you, reaching out to shake your hand and took it back when he caught Polly's glare.

" 'ey, don't you even think about it, John Shelby, so help me I will string you up fer yer brothers." she pointed at him, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"Right, right, well that's that then. Value my life, don't I, so think I might be headin' off." he raised his eyebrows at you dramatically and you bit back a bubble of laughter, "Haven't seen Arthur, 'ave yer?" tucking in his shirt and following your nod to his trousers, he straightened himself up.

"God only knows where 'e is now. Prob'ly gettin' high in some backstreet, best not try an' find 'im just yet." he murmured something vaguely resembling an agreement, and started for the door, grabbing a jacket and a cap from a stand by the door. In the sunlight through the window, the brim of the cap shone bright and unnatural, a thin line of silver splitting the dark fabric and your eyes were held for a long moment, until he moved away and the sunlight shifted and there was nothing there at all. Strange. "Back for dinner, yeah, else I'll have yer guts fer garters!" she called after him and he laughed out loud at that. The way she grinned at him as he left, you knew she really loved him, and the sun shone just a little brighter on the fractured remnants of Small Heath.

"Your nephew?"

"Aye, youngest but one. A right pain, him and all 'is brothers. 'S a wonder I keep 'em around." She muttered, harshly and fondly all at once in a way you had never known before.

"House full of boys, must make you the sane one." you joked, and she cracked a smile at tha, taking a long sip of her tea and never taking her eyes off you.

"If I say so myself. And what about you? No young man sweepin' you off yer feet, eh?"

"Not... anymore. No." it was drawn-out and slow, as though you hadn't quite known that you were saying it until the words were hanging before you, short and hard and filled with a sadness you didn't know you had in you. It had taken all morning and most of this early afternoon to convince yourself that you were a soldier, and in your mind were darker dawns than this morning's hellish revelations. You had lost, but you had lost before and once more would not break down the walls it had killed you putting up.

"Shame. Still, there are plenty goin' around, a girl like you won't be hard up."

"Neither was a girl like her, I dare say." you grinned, nodding your head to the door where the girl had burst out, barely-dressed. She sighed again, smiling and shaking her head, and you thought what a privilege it was to make her smile. You wondered if it brought back the way she was before, and if someday you would be as she was now - bitter, cold and loving still, the epitome of pain, and beautiful pain there too. The thought made you quite sad.

"My nephews are... misbehaving, but they are good men." and then, under her breath and you could barely catch it, "Most of them."

You knew better than to ask. You knew better than to push the boundaries of where your luck would take you, how much she'd let you see. There was a darkness in everything she did that made you sure that there was darkness inside her soul, clawing to get out, and there were things about her that you didn't want to know.

"I think I need some time to myself, just a little longer. I've seen my fair share of boys where I've been, I'm sure." and it was true, you'd seen the bodies of men not much bigger than the boys who followed when all the men were sent and used and brought back in their Sunday best. Men with graves and vicars to send them on their way, and later as the years went by more and more boys, clothes stripped from bodies long since cold and blue, buried in each other's arms as they had run away to war, one grave unmarked and no god left to go to. And you had seen the living, not men nor boys but something else and something worse and something clothed in blood and anger, named by cursing tongues. You'd seen your fair share of those who survived and were not men at all, just shells, men who fought inside themselves, were told the war was over but it wasn't, not for them. These were not men, these were not man nor beast nor body left untouched by Death's kind hand, these were pain and pain alone, the remnants of a hatred borne by few and paid in price by thousands. To think that you would someday be as they were now, the unremembered scraps of being less than human, unremembered, it was enough to last a lifetime. It was true - you had seen your fair share of boys.

"A smarter choice than any I've 'eard around 'ere in god only knows 'ow long." her eyes were kind, and you knew then that she knew all that you had seen because she had seen it too, every day in this graveyard of a town where everything seemed dead or dying, so bitter was the dull grey daylight.

Once more the room was plunged into silence, the air heavy with a million words you could not, would not, say. The two of you looking off into the distance, finishing your cups of tea as the bartender disappeared into the backroom. And when the tea was all gone, the bar steeped in gloom as the sun slid away behind the clouds outside the window, you set down your cup, clearing your throat and making to stand.

"I suppose you should be off now, eh?" she glanced up at you, scrutinising and cold as the moment you had met, as though you had seen nothing of her at all.

"Yeah, think so." You lifted the bread-basket, so long forgotten, onto the table. Polly reached into her pockets and you waved her away. " 's okay. I think the tea makes us even." There was a line on the sheet of addresses that your aunt had given you that warned you not to charge the Shelby's, and you didn't entirely want to find out why.

As she turned to call down her niece and whatever of the house remained hidden in the backrooms, you quietly took your leave, slipping out through the front door with only the glimpse of dark hair and neat dress to tell you she was real at all.

________________________________________________________________________________

It was not long after that you met Ada. Standing in the market, sent there by the empty bags of apples in the bakery storeroom and the way your aunt looked at you, pitying and soft as though she knew as well as you did that this town had nothing but broken memories for you. Fragments of a lifetime, never enough to hold you, enough to remind you every day why you ran away, why you tried so hard to never come back. First it was the spiders in the church rooms, big and black and sinister as you tried to push them out of mind. Then it was the dark itself, stealing in first slowly then all at once, running up your spine and over your body like a second skin, the body you would become in time to come. You had never been afraid of the dark before, but now you closed your eyes and all you saw was slaughter, the men you could not save and, even worse, then men you could and wished you hadn't. The screaming in the upper wards, late at night when you should have been asleep but the shouting called you and you couldn't stay away, not when there was pain and you were lying awake in the room not far away, not when the shadow of Death lurked in every corner, watching, waiting. Death was always there, and now in the darkness of the church you wondered if he was still, standing over you and waiting, always waiting. It sent a shiver up your spine.

You shook away the thought, reaching down to turn over the pears in the market stall, running your thumb distractedly over the bumps and craters in the smooth green skin. The market was quiet for a Thursday morning, the air thick with tense silence as you wandered around the stalls, shooting quick smiles as you passed the vendors. Gathering up the pears, a handful of apples, some cherries and a bright satsuma in your bag, you wandered up to the vendor, an old man reading behind the counter. You cleared your throat gently, smiling as he lifted his head wearily.

"Quiet, isn't it." you murmured, more to yourself than to him or to the woman you had noticed not far away, turned away and running the soft blue fabric of a blouse through her fingers.

"You'd be surprised. People come and go, don't talk to each other anymore." he grunted, gesturing at the rows and rows of stalls, the handful of people hanging listlessly around the baskets filled with fruit and vegetables and clothing and odds and ends and whatever could be salvaged from this hopeless wreck of war.

"What would you have them say?" you mused, paying for the fruit and thanking him with a smile.

"I'd have 'em be a little more thankful. We're all hurt, just some of us're making somethin' of all this hurt." the girl had a mild voice, subdued and welcoming as you hadn't seen in anything else here in this forbidding town. She turned to look at you and you knew the eyes that met yours had seen a lot more than they let on. She was like Polly, but sweeter, gentler, as though she had seen all the evils of the world and let them make her kind.

She brought the dress down, paid for it and stood beside you, stealing a glance at you in a way that made you think she hadn't meant for you to notice, and the simple act of softness, humanity, made you melt a little.

"You're not from around here, are yer?" she squinted at you, head tilted a little as she took you in. But this time it was friendly, reassuring, trying to get a picture of you because she was interested in you, not the story you'd left behind you. So you let her; you turned to face her, met her gaze unflinching.

"Just moved back, actually." at this she laughed a little, high-pitched and disbelieving, and you rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly with your free hand.

"What'd yer do that for?"

"Ask me that a week ago and I might've had an answer." you said sadly, rolling an apple around in your hand distractedly.

"Not anymore?" her eyes were wide and sympathetic, dark eyes like Polly's yet unassuming, understanding, eyes that had loved and that had never stopped. Eyes that had loved when the world would not love them back. Perhaps you were reading too much into it.

"Not anymore." in truth you lost purpose like blood and hope and love, seeping out of the cracks in your splintered soul as you walked the town day after day with your basket of bread and without your future before you. You were fast beginning to think that all these last years away from Small Heath had been nothing more than a dream, fading back into grim reality as you woke alone in the church anterooms, gone entirely by breakfast.

"Yer the baker's girl, back from France?" her words caught you unawares, and you stifled your surprise.

"You knew?" She knew, Polly knew, you wondered if the whole city, the whole world, could know. Would they smile when they saw you, the pathetic little lass who couldn't quite face it here and couldn't quite run away, or frown at the girl who saw the world and all the pain it had to bear and said she wasn't made for that.

"My aunt, she's... very good at this sort of thing." she lifted her chin with a sort of pride that made you think that there was love you didn't know yet, the love of a pilgrim for their wandering God, and it was all she had to offer.

"Polly Gray." you guessed, testing the name on your tongue like the taste of some strange medicine on your restless, fevered soul.

"The very same." she grinned, taking you by the arm and leading you away from the stall. A little bemused but not displeased at the sudden rush of affection, you gave in to her, looking up at her as she began to talk quickly about the buildings you passed, the families that lived therein. You heard her as though through the glass, in some waking dream, her words floating around your head and you were half-aware, half-distracted, taking in the street you knew and the girl you did not.

"People here are different, aren't they." you wondered aloud as a lady hurried past you, meeting your eyes briefly and quickly ducking her head. She pulled her broad hat down lower over her face and you dreamed of what she was trying to hide. Everyone in this town carried the air of a criminal, and you had no doubt many were little less than that.

"Aye, y'should meet my brothers. Right bastards they are, but good enough men." there was something about it that made you think immediately of Polly. The pride, the love, all the sarcastic purity ringing through her voice that made you think for a glorious moment that this was all some grim facade, the family behind it sweet and ordinary. Girls that would go to the market, to the pictures, chasing boys and chasing secrets. Boys that would run and play and drink in the evenings, coming home to wives and children and no secrets to keep them up at night. You could live like that, beautifully mundane. The shadow of Death loomed over your shoulder, and you would invite Him over for tea and biscuits every Sunday.

"So I've heard." and there was the lie, comforting and cruel. You had heard of the Shelby boys, dark folks who cut and killed and left the neighbourhood a little smaller every night. Tales of fights ran in the Birmingham streets in early mornings, late at night, the fairytales of a people whose God had went away. There was magic in those silvery caps and there was magic in the faces hidden underneath, and all of Small Heath knew it, feared it, respected it. Once again you reassured yourself that this was not your Tommy, because your Tommy was sweet and your Tommy was good. He had never killed a man, save all those creatures that fell before him in the war gone by. Your Tommy was not the monster that lurked in the streets, that lurked in your mind insidious as the cold and twice as bewitching.

"So everyone's 'eard. Can't get a bloody moment's rest from all this 'Arthur this, Thomas that, John whatever'. A plague upon this town, I'm tellin' yer, and I'm their sister." it was strong and it was heartfelt, and through all the emotions you almost missed the name, slipped in like it was just another word but no other word had ever sounded so sweet. It was a mistake, not a slip of the tongue but a coincidence that brought him flooding back into your senses so strong you could almost taste the harsh carbolic soap on his skin when you had lain beside him in those late nights in the hospital. You could feel him oh so near you, and you ached to have him here.

"Dating must be a nightmare, eh?" you knew it was what she wanted you to ask, still there was something quiet and smug in it that made you think there was something she was not saying, to you or her aunt or the rest of Small Heath, some glorious secret that she was bound to keep and you were just dying to know. In small towns like these, secrets were the only way to get out for good, and you knew that better than any.

"Don't even bother. Boys 'ere 're like the Black Death. Easy to find, awful to look at and even 'arder to get bloody rid of." she shook her head and you laughed, your mind straying back to the girl running through the pub, whose name you had later learnt and promptly forgotten.

"Aye, but worth a shot." you winked at her playfully and she rolled her eyes. It was nice - the empty street and you and her, and you the happiest you had been in a very long time. Nothing romantic, nothing upsetting, nothing at all but the grey sky and the greyer city beneath and the colours that were painting your mind a million shades of alive.

"So was the war, don't catch me wanting t'go back."

"You and me both." you sighed, but it was sadder than you had intended, and as you neared the street corner she turned you by the elbow to look at you face-to-face.

"You served?" the humour was gone from her voice, in its place a bleak respect that you had not heard before. You told people you had served and they would say it was a bloody shame about the war, should never have happened. And you knew it was true - the war had broken you, body and mind, and when your five-year sentence was over it had spat you out the other side, hopeless and alone. Still the war had got you out of here, and the war had made you different. Older. There was a cruel maturity in you that made you think you saw things different now, but maybe you were just kidding yourself. Most of the time you didn't know what you were doing anymore.

"Yeah, Flanders General Hospital. Was a nurse for god knows how many years." you rubbed your eyes with a trembling hand, if only to break for a moment the line of her staring at you, brown eyes deep as the river you had left behind, warmer than those summer days with him. God, did she look like him.

"Front line. Can't imagine what you've seen." she whispered, taking your hand in hers and tracing a circle over the back of it with a delicate hand. You didn't want her to imagine what you'd seen. More than anything, you wished she would never see what you saw, never live like you had, always a room and a corridor away from your own death and walking ever nearer as you fought to save a world hell-bent on its own destruction.

"Seen too much. Sometimes feels like I can never close my eyes again, all so fresh in my mind." you blinked slowly and she squeezed your hand tight in hers.

"My brothers... they were up there. Most of ‘em. Awful thing it was. Didn't come back the same at all." it was awkward and strung together like she had never said the words before, was putting them together as she looked at you, and you thought she might have trusted you a little. You thought she might trust anyone who listened to her truly.

"They never do. I didn't." you choked out the last part, the words sticking in your throat as you tried to say what had plagued your mind since the moment you stepped off the train in Kent, those short and agonising words that you knew the whole world was just waiting for you to say.

"War's changed, world's changed. Nothing stays the same."

"And all the better for it. Think I'd go insane like this forever. That being said, could definitely do without the sleepless nights." you hadn't told anyone about the nights, about what you saw and what haunted you as you tossed and turned in the endless darkness, praying for it all to be over at last. But now, out in the wan winter daylight, you felt a little better for having it all out in the open air, having it all in her hands and imploring her to keep it there, to hold it close and make it all go away. You trusted her, you loved her, and you had never met her.

"Then come and visit me. Always fun at the Shelby household." she reached up to brush your cheek tentatively, taking in the line of your cheekbone, holding you in her hand as though you just might fall apart. She took her hand away and you smiled sadly at her.

"So I've heard. With all due respect, I just got back from a warzone. Don't think I'm gonna be running on into another any time soon." you were trying not to hurt her, trying not to let her know that you had a hundred million stories for every letter of that awful name, and none of them ended happily. You wanted to see her again, but if all there was behind her was the last name that you hated, had loved and lost and missed like hell, you knew that all it would ever bring was pain.

"I might just come to you then. Seek my refuge in the house of God, eh? At least, Pol thinks so." her words weighty, and you wondered what she prayed about when she was alone at night. The war was over, anger all that was left behind in the ashes of a country burnt at its great moral stake. You knew better than to wish all the anger, the sadness and broken desperation, away because behind it there was nothing left. There was only the rage to hold your aching bones together, only the hatred that you were alive to keep you alive at all.

"Don't think God's really in there anymore. Think he jumped ship soon as all this bullshit started. A countryful of men with guns and personal vendettas to fulfil, ain't exactly the place for a god, is it." you hadn't meant for it to come out so vindictive, a silent curse but upon whom you could not say. You blamed the men in the streets, with their guns and their anger and the blood that crept upon your skin as you lay in bed, awake. You blamed the men in charge, and their soft chairs where they had sat and watched the war unfold before them like some dreadful game of chess. You blamed God as he frowned down upon you and Small Heath, sins like broken bodies in the street. And you knew you blamed yourself the most, the way you ran and the way you came back and the gun inside your pillowcase that you prayed you'd never use. The longer you spent in this grim neighbourhood the closer the gun seemed to your head. You took her arm and began walking again.

"Me mam used to say that now's when you make yer own god. Have to make do with yer own hands." her hands were smooth and slender, hands that had never touched the sickly cancer of death, hands that were made to arrange flowers and shake hands and run over you as you kissed. You thought she would be a good kisser if you ever looked at her that way. You thought it best you didn't - there was love and there was friendship and you really, really needed a friend.

"She sounds wise." you knew what to say, the way to make her open up. Her mother, the way her eyes lit up like she was talking about the end of the world, the smile in her voice that never made it to her face but glittered in her deep brown eyes. She loved endlessly, and she had lost still more.

"She was. Was a woman, 'ats why." the two of you and something beautiful in common, something yours - a femininity that was beyond not starting wars. It was about ending wars, causing love, meaning more than the awful men that were all around you.

"God knows we need more of 'em nowadays." you smirked faintly.

"Amen to that." she laughed loud, and you couldn't help but stare. She really was beautiful when she was herself, in a way that made you not want to kiss her but keep her near you, protect her, make it all okay again like no one had for you.

But the church was coming up before you and you knew you had to leave her here. You had only just met, and it would take a lot more than trust to invite her in to the darkness that lay beyond the tall church-doors. In there was a different hell, a hotter, crueller hell that she had never known, and the world was not made for good people like her.

"Well this is me." you stopped her in front of the doors, shifting from foot to foot as you tried to find a way to say the goodbye that you'd been dreading all the way here.

"I think I'll call on yer sometime." her lopsided grin made you laugh, and you tried to keep it quiet to avoid the echoes in the church that would carry your careless voice all the way to your father. Your father sat each day in the church, bowed before the altar, the only man who still believed in this dim and heathenish town. He would be there now, a saint in wrinkled robes and unseeing eyes, and you knew that somehow he would hear you here. This town was filled with men with ignorant sight, eyes that could see and hearts that overlooked, and your father alone was king. Sightless, he saw. He knew.

"Oh will yer now?" you quirked a brow at her, praying she'd stand by and let you be persuaded. You'd let her call on you whenever, let her wake you in the nights when all the town was silent, let her break apart your lifeless live and fill the cracks with her smile, her laugh, the sweetness of her hands. It was not difficult to see, and you knew she saw it too. This whole town was lonely, and you were no exception.

"Yeah, think so." she extracted herself from your hands, began to walk away and before you knew it you were calling her back, unable to let her slip away when you had just found her and she was the last good thing about this part of town.

"Don't even know my name." you teased and she flicked her hair over her shoulder, grinning wide and toying with the new blue dress that was folded over her arm. And when the sun came down upon her, brighter than any dim star in this back-alley of Birmingham, you could swear there was nothing in the world that could be so beautiful, so heavenly and good than her.

"Ada. Shelby." like it was something she was used to saying, but the last word soured her smile in a way that made you think she was anything but proud of it. Such power and she wanted no part of it; you wondered what kind of life she'd lead.

"(Y/N). (Y/L/N)." your own name a stranger to your aching lips as you took her in, painted her in the blank canvas of your new and empty life as though she were the glorious sun to rise and rid you of your slough of night.

"I'll see yer later, (Y/L/N)." carefree and cool, she threw her head back over her shoulder and hurried away, skirt swishing behind her as her boots rang loud in the vacant street-corner. She wasn't looking at you anymore, and you stepped back to lean against the church wall and watch her as she disappeared around the corner, a flurry of bright colours and sun.

"I hope you will." you said more to yourself than to her, knowing that she was already gone away, she couldn't hear you anymore. And then you breathed out, grinning like an idiot. She was stunning, another part of your soul and you for the first time since you had stepped off the train you knew that there was something in this town that really was your home. Ada, Polly, John, the strange little pub with the strange little people in a town where everything was far too big, big enough to lose yourself entirely in its labyrinth of sins. It was enough to make any lonely soul flock to their company, and who were you to differ?

And so it was that you entered once more into the ominous gloom of the unlit church, taking with you your sins and all the crimes you had yet to commit, committing yourself once more into the judgement of your dark God.

Taglist:

@actorinfluence @captivatedbycillianmurphy @stressedandbandobessed7771

[better-inwriting]

When You Love Someone

Ahh more Newsies because what else would I write. Enjoy this fluff/angst RedFinch

**********************************************

Finch wasn't surprised to find the door to his apartment unlocked. Albert had a key and always forgot to relock the door behind him. Finch would have to lecture his boyfriend once again on the dangers of living in New York City and about being cautious.

He had his speech all prepared until he entered the apartment and heard muffled crying from the bedroom. Carefully and quietly, he hung his keys on the rack and kicked off his shoes.

He cautiously entered the bedroom where Albert was sitting on the edge of the bed, phone in hand, crying and breathing heavily. He looked up when Finch entered the room and quickly tried to look like all was well. He even plastered a painfully fake smile on his face as Finch closes the door and sat next to him.

“Hey, babe, you're back early,” Albert said in a choked, strained voice.

“Al, what is going on?” Finch asked. He tried to wipe away Albert's tears, but he flinched away.

“Nothing! Nothing is going - I'm fine,” Albert said defensively, standing up from the bed and wiping at his eyes again. “All good.”

Finch stayed seated to give Albert room to freak out. Normally when Albert gets anxious he needs some space to cool down, but this is different. He had never seen this side of Albert before - panicky and sad. There was almost a look of fear in his eyes. It made Finch's stomach twist to see his boyfriend like this.

“Albert,” Finch continued quietly, “we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.”

Albert shrugged. “There's nothing to talk about.”

Finch only nodded and reached out a hand that Albert reluctantly took. Finch gently coaxed him back to a sitting position beside him and kept a firm but gentle grip on his hand.

“How were your classes today? You had an exam, right? You were worried about it,” Finch tried changing the subject instead.

Albert sighed, “Yeah and i didn't really prepare for it so I know I'm going to get a bad grade. If my parents find out we're going to get into a big fight. They're trying to convince me to leave New York.”

“Wait, what? They want you to move back to Rhode Island? That's ridiculous! You're friends, your dreams, it's all in New York,” Finch said quickly, feeling overwhelmed by this new information. “How long have they been saying this?”

“A month or so,” Albert shrugged. He turned his gaze to he and Finch's locked hands when he continued, “I think they might be right, Finch. All I've ever wanted to do is dance, but I can't land a gig to save my life. That was the whole point in coming here and now-” He cut himself off as his voice got tight again.

“Just because you didn't get it yet doesn't mean you won't,” Finch said. “It takes time. Look at how long it took Jack to get anyone to take his art seriously. And Race hasn't officially landed anything yet. You're working hard and you'll get there. Besides what is there for you in Rhode Island?”

“My parents-”

“Who have hardly spoken to you since you came out,” Finch interrupted.

“They said they want to talk things over,” Albert said, quieter still.

“Only because they know I can't follow you there,” Finch said, though it seemed a bit too dramatic afterwards. Albert's parents didn't even know Finch and they hated him for “turning their son gay” and Finch thinks this is a ruse to get Albert to leave him for a woman.

“They aren't as awful as you think,” Albert suddenly snapped, yanking his hand away from Finch's. “They just want what's best for me. They want me to be happy.”

Finch is taken aback by Albert's support of his parents. In the two years they had known each other, including 18 months of dating, Albert rarely had a nice thing to say about his parents or his hometown. Where was all this coming from?

“Are you not happy?” Finch asked softly, feeling at fault.

Albert was quiet for a beat. “I don't know. I should be, right? I have school, and friends, and dance, and you.” Albert paused as the tears started flowing again. “This just isn't going how I planned and I'm wondering if I should have just stayed in Rhode Island. If I had never come to New York-”

Finch stood up and interrupted, “You never would have started taking dancing seriously or considered it a career. You never would have meet Race or Jack. You never would have tried Thai food.” He paused. “You never would have come out.”

Albert looked away and wiped his eyes again.

“Your parents love you and want the best for you, but they don't know what you've got going here. They don't know this new you that was bred from the city,” Finch continued. “Albert, you auditioned for NYU's dance program on a whim and got major scholarships for it. Now I watch you dance and I can see how happy and passionate you are about it. You light up and it's so contagious. If you never did that, you would be working in the bakery with your parents and you would have given up dancing.”

Albert was quiet for a long time and Finch was sure he wasn't going to get anywhere with him. Then Albert said, “They had a Facebook page to connect you to other people in your field. That's how I met Race. He was a blond twink from Brooklyn who talked to me like he'd known me all my life. Then he invited me to the city for a whole week before our first semester. I slept on the couch of his apartment that he shared with his boyfriend, Spot. They were the first gay people I ever knew. They made me wonder about myself.”

Finch nodded. “And on that first night in the city, Race and Spot brought you to the coffee shop/karaoke bar we always hung out at. That's when we met.”

“I was so scared to talk to you,” Albert chuckled. “I kept asking Race questions about you and then he finally called you over, introduced us, and walked away.”

“And we spent the whole night dancing and talking,” Finch finished. “Two weeks later-”

“We kissed on the Brooklyn Bridge,” Albert said with a smile. “It was the best kiss I'd ever had, but I was still trying to figure out my sexuality, so I told you I wasn't ready for a relationship.”

“I told you that I understood, but it actually kind of broke my heart. I really liked you and I said all this to Race-”

“Who said it all to me,” Albert sighed. “School started and we got so busy we hardly saw each other.”

“Until Davey's Christmas party on December 14th,” Finch said. “We kissed again under the mistletoe and you were so flustered by it that you dragged me into the bathroom by my shirt collar and proceeded to kiss me for another half hour.”

Albert laughed, “Poor Elmer did not need to see that.” Finch laughed too. “I told you I was ready and asked you to be my boyfriend. When I went home for Christmas break a week later I told my parents the truth. We fought about it.”

“You called me crying on Christmas Eve because your grandmother told your aunt she didn't want you at the party,” Finch said. “So you left the party early and when you were alone we had our first sexual encounter.”

“Phone sex, Finch. We had phone sex,” The bluntness of the comment makes them both laugh. “I wasn't supposed to come back to New York until January, but I was fighting so much with my family and I missed you, so I flew back on the 27th.”

“I was at Race's and we were hammered. I screamed like a rich girl in a rom-com when you came in. I was so happy to see you,” Finch said. “Then we all got drunk and played spin the bottle.”

“And I made out with Race that night.”

“It was awkward,” Finch chuckled. “It was smooth sailing from there, though. Right?”

Albert nodded. “My parents weren't talking to me because I left without telling them goodbye. Race and I started with this amazing dance company which was a lot of fun. I invited my parents to shows but they never came.”

“Then you left me for a ten week tour in the summer,” Finch added feigning offense.

“You survived. You were doing an internship and were way too busy to think about me.”

“On the contrary. Spot got very tired of listening to me whine about missing you,” Finch countered. “Then you two came back and Spot and I didn't speak for weeks.”

Albert sighed, “Then there was the fight.”

“Yeah, the fight.”

“I didn't know it was possible for you to get that mad,” Albert admitted. “It was scary.”

“I never meant to take it out on you,” Finch said, guilt evident in his voice. “I didn't think Striker or any of the group home kids would contact me again and the fact that they had the audacity to bring you into it-”

“I know, Finch,” Albert said. “I was mad that you never told me about that part of your life. I felt like I didn't even know you and then you started lashing out and you were this completely different person. I tried to talk to you, but you would shut down and lock yourself in this room for days.”

“But that lead to me telling you that I loved you,” Finch said positively. “Al, none of that mattered because things were so different from back then. I didn't want you to know that your beloved boyfriend used to be a juvenile delinquent.”

“It didn't change how I felt about you. I still loved you even after I found out about all that,” Albert said. “That's how I knew I always would. Something like that would have sent me running for the hills with any of my prior relationships, but it was different with you. I loved you.”

“Do you remember that art show Jack had at the university?”

“The one where the security guard caught us making out in the bathroom and we got thrown out?” Finch nodded. “Jack wouldn't talk to us for weeks. He was pissed.”

The reminiscing stopped for a moment while they laughed and smiled nostalgically at each other. Then Albert's face grew solemn again.

“Then Race got that callback,” He said. “I was happy for him, but I wanted to catch a break too. We fought about it.”

“You punched their wall,” Finch interrupted.

Albert waved away the input. “That's when all this started, I guess. I was upset and I talked to my parents about it and they started asking me about moving home.”

“What did you tell them?”

He hesitated. “I told them I didn't know.”

Finch nodded and cast his gaze to the floor when he asked, “Are you still happy with me?”

“Of course.”

“But that isn't enough to keep you in New York,” Finch said, sitting back down on the bed.

“I guess I just don't know what kind of future we're looking at,” Albert admitted. “Do you want to get married? Do you want to buy a house and start a family?”

Finch shrugged. “I never gave the matter much thought.”

“I have,” Albert said and sat next to him, taking his hand, “and I want that with you. That's the future I want and if you don't- if you don't see a future with me then maybe I should go back to-”

“I do!” Finch interrupted, turning to face Albert. “If that's what you want then I want it too. I only want you and your happiness means more than anything else. That's what it means to love someone and I love you, Albert Dasilva, so very much.”

Albert smiled, “I love you too.”

They kissed then for several minutes. Then Albert video chatted his parents, introduced them to Finch, and told them he was absolutely not moving back to Rhode Island.

“I want to be here with him,” Albert said. “I'm happy. If you want me to be happy, you'll be supportive of me - of us. Because that's what you do when you love someone.”

[imreallykneady-blog]

Weekend bake 8/21/19

It's been a few week since I started my current job. It's okay, I mean, it's definitely not the pits but it's not the baking I was hoping for. I can't complain about settling though. July was coming to an end and I hadn't been working for five weeks. I was starting to get stressed from the lack of busy work and there are hardly any bakeries in town that focus on the the loaves I'm looking for. This is for the best though, I don't have a work record out here and I still have some basic skills that need work (coughtimemanagementcough, coughcommunicationcough). So I'm hoping I can make it work for at least a year. I suck right now, butter creams and large batches of batter are kicking my ass, but at least there's pizza dough.

What I'm enjoying so far is my morning ride to work (there's a great cemetery I get to ride through) and my hours/schedule. Eight and a half hour days, five on and two off. It's pretty tight. My off days are in the middle of the week, but that's alright. I mean two days off in a row? That's pretty damn good. To make up for the lack of bread in my life I'm going to try to dedicate these two days to turning out some loaves whether they be from what I did over this past school year, a new recipe, or trials for the sake of experimenting. I need to get the practice in somewhere after all.

My last weekend I finally broke out the lesson plans from my baking program. They've been tucked away since my boxes arrived from Halifax at the end of July. I'm trying to rewrite the year's notes to reflect what I learned in the lab as well as information I found on my own after the Boulanger program finished. One thing I'd like to do is include recipes that reflect the skills and concepts from the rotation's work to go along with the notes. To kick off this little project I pulled recipes for an overnight whole wheat and a blueberry, oat and walnut loaf.

My relatives that I'm staying with really love their carbs, like really. I've baked a few loaves for them since I arrived. They weren't my best by far but they devoured them regardless. My aunt isn't a fan of the long process and whenever I try to explain why I make bread the way I do she just turns back to her kindle and tunes me out. She's used to a loaf that is made within a couple hours, I'm not faulting her for this and I'm not saying a simple pan loaf is bad, but if I'm going to feed my family I'm going to put the effort in and show them what their bread could be. I figured I'd start with something simple. Something that wouldn't raise eyebrows. The whole wheat was perfect for this. It baked well, sitting nice and tall, and I snuck in an extended fermentation to bring out some more flavour. I lost a lot of gas turning the dough out of its container after the bulk the night before, and I feel liked I missed an opportunity to try stitching in my shaping of the loaf as it was little loose, but other than that there weren't any other major issues. My cousin finished the loaf without letting it cool.

The blueberry, oat and walnut loaf is a fave of mine. in class we were baking them eight at a time, the aroma from the decks was incredible. Though my planning for this loaf was poor as I had to wake up at five in the morning to go to the grocery store for milk rather than start the day's bake, the prep for the berries and nuts was fast and the mix was quick enough. Since I scaled for a single loaf the smell wasn't nearly as strong as I remembered but it still turned out. This dough was wetter than the whole wheat though not a loose. It also held its form better as I shaped it compared to the much slacked whole wheat. My slashing was shit but no blowouts occured. Maybe the scores weren't even necessary, I can't remember how it went down in class. The density of the crumb was right on the money for my relatives, but my uncle and I both agreed that the about of berries and nuts needs to be bumped up.

I scaled both of these recipes to one loaf each after finding their percentages. Clearly one loaf of each wasn't enough. I know my aunt wont be a fan of this, but I'm going to need to up batch sizes to keep up with their eating habits. Hopefully what I can do is pop out a couple pan loaves like the whole wheat to cover their daily bread as well as one or two more...."exotic" loaves to them to try and for me to practice on. Eventually I hope to swap out the whole wheat to something like a country or seedy loaf as well as bumping up production to many four loaves.

[canaryatlaw]

well, today was fine, I’m just kinda discouraged right now because of depressing real world stuff related to child rights and how I’m supposed to improve a government run system that is supposed to protect children when the same damn government is intentionally harming children in almost identical situations. Sigh. That’s one more thing I can’t wrap my head around, but hopefully tomorrow I will find strength to carry on. I pretty much have to, really. anyway. today was fine. I woke up at 6:30 am and grabbed my stuff and ubered to the airport. Had a nice conversation with my uber driver, very nice guy, so I sent him a $5 tip with a thank you note afterwards. I arrived by 7:30 with my flight not supposed to leave till 9:15, so I had plenty of time. I got my bag checked in and weighed without any issue, and I guess they were trying to get people through security faster (though it didn’t seem like there was a particularly large amount of people there) so they didn’t do shoes off or laptops out, just said to keep everything in place and just had to walk through a metal detector instead of the full body scanner thing, so that was nice because the full body scanner thing likes to give me weird results that sometimes lead to awkward pat downs or conversations like “is there something in your pockets?” and I’m just like “.....I’m wearing yoga pants I don’t even have any pockets” but thankfully that was all avoided and I was quickly through. Had to walk a bit to the gate, passed the Starbucks on the way and stopped because I needed some caffeine, and of course I can’t have coffee but their refreshers have caffeine. I wanted to try their new one, the mango dragonfruit again, but they ended up being out of it so I just got my typical berry hibiscus one, which is always good. Walked the rest of the way to my gate, they were still boarding the flight before ours, so I doubled back to where there was a little bakery/breakfast place set up and got an bacon egg and cheese croissant from them and I s2g it was like the best thing I’ve ever eaten, lol. So I went back to the gate and ate that, and waited. While I was sitting there this sweet older lady came up to me and was like “can I take a picture of your hair? I want my to look just like that and I can never describe it right to the person” and at first I thought she was talking about the color because that’s generally what garners interest in my hair from strangers and I was like oh boy I have to explain this crazy color regimen to her, but then it was clarified that she actually meant the haircut itself, so of course I said yes and let her take a few pictures from different angles. I’m sure my hairdresser will be pleased to hear her work garnered such positive reviews, especially since I just got it cut yesterday. Eventually we were able to start boarding, I somehow pissed off the airline sufficiently to land myself in group 9 for boarding, I’ve never even know there was a group 9, but apparently I managed to get the crappiest (cheapest) ticket package that put me all the way in the back of the line. I don’t care of course what order I get in when the seats are already pre-chosen, I don’t use the overhead bins anyway so it really doesn’t matter to me. I was sitting further up than I normally do just because it’s what was available, I normally like to sit by the wings in a window seat a few rows from the emergency exit, because that’s supposed to be the safest place to be structurally as well as access to the exit should anything go wrong, but I was in row 6 today with a window seat, and that was fine. I grabbed the magazine first of course and found the sudoku puzzles, and I managed to get through the easy, medium, and all the obvious spots on the hard one before getting into the real theoretical stuff to figure out answers (I’m too out of practice for that tbh) just when they cleared us to use larger electronic devices, so I put the magazine back and pulled out my laptop, and clicked play on the downloaded version of Heathers the musical I ripped from Vimeo last night for my in flight entertainment, and it was definitely entertaining. The volume was kind of annoying because I wouldn’t be able to hear what they were saying in conversations so I’d turn it up but then when it got to the music it would be way too loud so I ended up going back and forth on it a lot. But yeah it was fun to watch through, don’t have too many original thoughts on it from this run through. I ended up getting halfway through “My Dead Gay Son” before they told us to put the laptops away, so that was pretty good. Landed smoothly, the airport is tiny (like it’s legit one hallway) and my aunt was going to meet me outside, so I just had to grab my bag from the baggage carousel. There was a bit of confusion though because they didn’t have signs indicating what flight the baggage was from and apparently there were two flights that came in from Chicago at like the same time so there was a lot of confusion between people and for a few minutes I was convinced they’d lost my bag and was starting to hardcore panic because I know I should keep my pill case in my carryon in case something like this happens but it’s always so bulky and in the way and even if I keep it in a giant ziplock bag it can still get popped open and send pills flying everywhere. But luckily before I got too far along panicking a worker came out and told us where our baggage would be coming so that quickly soothed my concern. Got my bag, walked right out and got in my aunt’s car and headed home. the rest of my family (or my parents and my sister anyway, somehow everyone neglected to tell me my brothers weren’t coming on this trip, which is not something I’m disappointed about, I just felt like this should’ve been something I was told at some point) wasn’t getting in until on a later flight since they were coming from NY. We stopped at Wendy’s and brought lunch back to my uncle and girl cousin (I’m just gonna call them girl cousin and boy cousin because there’s only two of them so it’s the easiest way to do it), the latter of which had to go take a final for her online Spanish college class, so she got sent off to do that for a while. I ate and then settled in on my computer, and a bit after that my aunt went back to the airport to retrieve the rest of my family. While she was doing that I ended up having a nearly hour long phone call (though to be fair at least half of it was spent on hold) trying to figure out if we could get our plane tickets to one con switched to another because of different celebrity appearances that had been unexpected, but the basic answer was no, there’s no way you can cancel or transfer unless you pay a fee of $400 per ticket (so $800) when the tickets only cost under $500 to begin with so like no....I’m not doing that. And it was so stupid because there was literally a flight to the second place that fit the same exact time constraints and was actually cheaper than the original one that they just could've switched us over to at literally no cost to them, and they just refused to do so. I was especially pissed because I had gone out of my way to get “travel insurance” for this trip, only to find out it only covers sickness that had to be proven by a doctor’s note or some other extraordinary circumstance that required extensive documentation to use, and like, I was really pissed because that’s not at all how they described it on the site and I may have thrown a line or two in there about how they’re really just setting themselves up for a deceptive marketing practices lawsuit to be brought against them just for the hell of it, which was the least I could do honestly. But yeah, all in all we were fucked and didn’t have another $500 to shell out to buy the new tickets independently so I guess we’re stuck with our original plans. Oh well. Some time after that we had dinner, and after that I went with my aunt and my parents down to the oceanfront and walked on the pier for a bit then walked a bit on the beach, it was really nice I liked it a lot. On the way home I may have encouraged some thoughts my aunt had about stopping for “ice cream or frozen yogurt or something” and she brought us to this cute little homemade place which was like, seriously some of the best ice cream I’ve ever eaten. They make their waffle cones fresh and like, you can see where they’re folded because the seam part kind of sticks out flat after it meets the other end which is just like super authentic and it tasted so good. They had a lot of tempting flavors, but after tasting it I decided I had to go with the cinnamon caramel oatmeal cookie, which was really just heaven and I was so glad I got it. It was cool too because they had vegan options made with coconut milk (my mom isn’t vegan but she has dietary restrictions that mean she can’t have dairy) and they actually had the same flavor I got made with the coconut milk, so we had the dairy and non-dairy versions of the same ice cream flavor, so that was cool. We sat and ate our ice cream, then continued on the way home. We sat out on the back porch for a little bit looking at the stars (I always forget how many there actually are until I’m out in the middle of nowhere and see them) which was nice, then we moved indoors and I went on my laptop for a while, and was eventually joined in the living room with my aunt and dad (mom went to bed) where we first watched the clip of James Corden doing carpool karaoke with Paul McCartney which was highly entertaining, even with having to deal with my father’s insistence that all of their songs were really about drugs, and then we watched a new Brian Regan recorded live show, so he was always funny. We pretty much started to go to bed after that, after I did my reblogging thing here I went back to the room I’m in (it’s currently the “guest” bedroom, it used to be my girl cousin’s room but when boy cousin moved out (he’s 21 I think) she transferred it to her room, which is where my parents are staying, then I’m in the guest room and my sister and cousin are on the couch/air mattress in the game room because they’re kids or whatever and want to bounce around and stay up late anyway. And yeah, I showered and then started writing this and here we are. Most of the day was objectively good, just a few sore spots bringing it down at times. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel better about my drive to actually make a difference in our awful government who very clearly does not know how to take care of children. Alright folks, that’s it for now, it’s past 1:30 am and sleep is calling my name. Goodnight babes. Happy Wednesday.

[chocolatemillkk]

Walking in the Wind (CM)

Request: can you do an imagine biased of the song walking in the wind by one direction? can it be a conor one? love your writing xox

This was difficult to start but so fun to write! Btw italics is a memory from the past. Anyway, enjoyyyy 💙

—————————————-

I was a light sleeper so by the time the sun begins to fill my room Friday morning I’m already awake, just waiting for my alarm to hit 8AM. It was winter in New York and my shoebox apartment didn’t stay very warm overnight so I was buried under three separate blankets. I missed warmer weather-the summer heat I could do with right now. Even though I knew I would be complaining about my broken AC as soon as the humidity hit us.

But last summer was different. Last summer I had stayed with my aunt in London and met the boy I thought forever was made for. That was the summer I fell in love, and heat or no heat, it warmed me up. Too bad it had to end. Before we left I had told him

“Do you believe I’ll never be too far/If you’re lost, just look for me/You’ll find me in the region of the summer stars.”

We had held onto each other, saying our goodbyes in the cool evening heat during the last days of August. I told him I didn’t want him taking me to the airport, airports made everything ten times sadder.

“I don’t want to end it this way,” I told him with our heads bowed, foreheads touching. He had a pained look in his eyes, like he was hurting more than he showed. It was bittersweet what we had, we knew had to part ways eventually but the summer had been full of pink skies, warm embraces, and discovering one another inside out. “I don’t want there to be any regrets.”

“Baby, there are none.” He says in his hushed voice. He inches closer to kiss me and I can feel my tears falling as I kiss him back. “We had some good times but this isn’t the end. You’re so beautiful and you’ve got so much potential to do whatever you want. I know the next time we meet you’ll have done great things.”

He always said things like this, made me more confident in myself. He was my rock all summer after the horrible year I had and we helped each other as we grew closer.

My alarm is a shrill reminder of where I am. I turn it off and hurry into the bathroom. I stare at my reflection in the mirror and brush my fingers over my lips. These were his then, I think. I reach out to touch my face and my fingers meet the cool mirrored reflection. He was so far away.

Conor’s POV

My head is pounding when I wake, I was definitely hungover. When I crack my eyes apart they burn but through them I see a y/h/c woman in bed beside me.

“Y/N?” I say but my morning voice barely makes a sound. She turns and I stare at her, confused. This wasn’t Y/N. She hasn’t occupied this bed for a couple months now.

“Morning,” the stranger smiles at me. She was beautiful-probably why I went home with her. But the confusion from moments ago freaks me out a little.

“Morning,” I get up and put some pants on. “I’ve got to get to the studio. There should be coffee in the kitchen or something. It was….nice last night.” I say as an afterthought. She gives me an awkward smile, realising I was blowing her off and I rush out of the room. It was already 1PM and I really did need to go to the studio.

“Hey,” Josh calls me before I head out. “Are we supposed to babysit?”

“Yes Josh babysit the adult woman in my room,” I say sarcastically.

“I mean I don’t mind but you’re leaving before she is.”

“Great observation,” I was in a bad mood and Josh could tell.

“Jack’s birthday celebrations start at 8,” he reminds me.

“Yeah,” I get out as fast as I can.

At the studio, I sit to write but I’m blocked. I can’t think of a single thing to say even though I’m drowning in my memories of summer. Y/N. I want to call her but we had our own lives to live. Our fates were perpendicular, destined to only meet briefly before moving on.

I write that down.

Your POV

I end early on the Friday so I decide to treat myself to my favourite bakery near Times Square. The subways are not as full since it’s not yet rush hour and I enjoy finding a seat and listening to an old playlist. I’m bundled up against the fierce winds so I decide to make the most of the day and walk to Times Square to marvel in the Christmas time feel.

It’s when I look up that my heart drops. A big screen is lit up with Conor’s face on it. “New single, now on Spotify” it reads. I stare, open mouthed and unbothered by the people bumping into either side of me. There was my Conor, in New York City. My heart beats like a racehorse and I place my mitted hand over it; this heart had only beat for him. Once again, it was falling back into the familiar habit. I gaze at his perfect face, the eyes, the mouth, the entirety of which I kissed countless times. My eyes skim over his posed figure, the one that anchored me last summer, the arms I found a home in.

Move on, I tell my beating heart. But my hands find their way out of my mittens and into my coat pocket where I pick up my phone. I scroll through the names until I find Conor’s.

“I saw you in Times Square today, while I was walking in the wind.” My fingers hover over the Send button. I hadn’t talked to him in months…was it a good idea?

Conor’s POV

“To Jack,” Mikey raises his third beer and performs his second toast of the night. Jack looks embarassed-he loved attention but any time there was a toast to him, he tended to get awkward. It reminded me when we celebrated after his 1 milli tour. I, being his proud brother, gave a rather jokey heartfelt toast. I remember Y/N and I snickered as he blushed and turned into an awkward mess and then proceeded to get drunk.

I turn to my side, looking to catch Y/N’s eye to laugh at Jack but that’s when I realize she was missing. She wouldn’t be here, hasn’t been for months. And even though I’m sad, thinking about what we had fills me with a bittersweet ache. We’d said our goodbyes, but we would see each other one day.

•••

I’m tired out of my mind by the time my head hits my pillow. I put my phone on charge and wait for it to turn on again.

2:24AM the time reads. I scroll through my notifications and check if any is urgent. A name stands out: Y/N.

“I saw you in Times Square today while I was walking in the wind.”

I stare at the text, making sure it was really her who had sent it. She must be talking about the Spotify ad my manager booked me for. The time stamp is about the same time I was thinking about her, I smile to myself.

Her contact photo up top is one from the last few sunsets we spent together. I click on it, she’s pulling a silly face and I’m beside her doing the same. I close my eyes, reliving the memory of that day. I’m unaware when I slip from memory to dream as I fall asleep with a smile lingering on my face. We weren’t together, but what we had would live on forever.

[cuppykin]

The Adventures of Tintin: The Dressed Cattle, Chapter 1

This is the beginning of a few chapters of fanfiction for the Adventures of Tintin series, BUT, the focus here is my dear self insert, her name in this being Terry Westenburg, the shy baker who develops a feeling for a certain old salty seadog. 

YEP this is mostly a self ship fanfiction but extended to be loyal to the source material (or as loyal as I could be), but if that isn’t your cup of tea, you’re not pressured to read it. If you are interested in reading, hopefully I’ll have Chapter 2 posted in maybe the next week or two weeks. So with that, enjoy!!

It was a nice, cool morning that day, the perfect weather for something warm and sweet. Terry was awake at a nice hour like any other day of her life, and was dressed, a nice skirt, blouse, and pretty black shoes. She brushed out her kinky black hair, short for a woman to have, even for a black woman to have, but it was easy to manage.

She could say she was in a nice mood, but something last night really shocked both her and her aunt. Outside her street, she couldn’t hear too much, but her aunt said she heard a confrontation, before a loud gunshot, which is what woke Terry up in the first place. They didn’t wanna dwell on it too much, and went to sleep, sure that whatever happened was just an incident that meant to happen to a specific person and not somebody random in the streets. The tension seemed to have been all around the apartment building, as nobody called the police until dawn broke

Terry had been greeted by her Aunt Ines, who had cooked breakfast for the both of them. Ines was her primary caretaker ever since Terry had moved back to Brussels after spending a good portion of her life in America. In some ways, Brussels felt very unfamiliar to her, but Ines loved the company Terry brought her.

“Good morning dear,” Ines smiled, the two of them putting up a casual front despite what they had both heard last night. “Are you sure about going to work today?”

“I gotta, it’s good to have spare money in the house, for nice things,” she said.

“Oh you would know something about buying nice things,” Ines chuckled. Terry was a bit girly, always wore pink with nice earrings and pretty shoes. It was all for her, she didn’t have much in the way of money for a while growing up. But she always was there to spend money on whatever Ines needed if the time came.

Terry got a piece of bread and spread honey on it, her aunt poured a cup of tea for her as she sat down.

“That reminds me,” Ines said. “That Mr. Laurent, you’ve been working with him for what, two years? He should’ve given you a raise by then.” Mr. Laurent was Terry’s boss. Her aunt never really liked him, despite his friendly exterior there was something about her she didn’t like, but Terry liked him. He was a good boss and she went to work in the back preparing food, since she was nervous actually talking to people during the day. But he was also old and she knew that for a little while he had trouble keeping the business afloat.

“I don’t mind, but I’ll ask him eventually,” Terry commented. “I think in the past few months the business is improving and by then he’ll have enough to increase my wages.”

“Alright, if you say so dear,” Ines said. “Want something else aside from bread dear?” Terry shook her head and stood up. “I get plenty to eat during work, love you Aunt Ines, I’ll see you later today.” Terry hugged her aunt and left the apartment they lived in, taking her coat and walking out into the streets of Brussels. She was immediately stopped by two very similar looking detectives, whom she only slightly recognized.

“Good morning miss,” the two said simultaneously with a tip of the hat.

“Good morning er, Thomson and Thompson was it?” Terry said.

“Right you are miss,” Thomson said happily. “Can we ask you a few questions?”

“About what?” She had figured it might be for that gunshot heard last night.

“Did you witness the murder of last night?” Thompson asked. It was a murder? Terry froze up in fear.

“N-no, just heard it.”

“At what time did you hear it?”

“I-I think it was a few minutes before midnight, but that’s all I know, I never looked and saw anything.”

“I see.”

“And you didn’t act on the murder at all did you?”

“What? No I could never,” she exclaimed.

“Very well miss!” Thompson smiled.

“You have a nice rest of the day,” Thomson said. Terry nervously walked past them, not daring to look any place where the murder might have taken place. It sounds much worse knowing that somebody was found dead not far from where she lived.

She quickly arrived at work, Mr. Laurent already there as he was the one who opened up, and Terry walked in with a smile. Mr. Laurent grinned as she came in. “Terry! How are you doing dear?”

“Great, it’s nice to come in,” she said, going into the back to put on her apron. “What’s the plan for today?” She wanted to go straight into talking about work, cause the murder was just eating at her after she found out.

“Start making a fresh batch of bread for the day, your hot cross buns recipe is getting rather popular,” Mr. Laurent smiled.

“Happy to experiment when needed,” Terry said. She went to the kitchen, getting all that she needed to cook some nice fresh bread rolls brushed with honey.

As she was beating dough when making the bread, she heard the phone ring in the other room. Mr. Laurent never really let her answer it, and she didn’t know why, but she didn’t think too much on it. Mr. Laurent took the phone, and Terry went back to focus on working at molding the dough into its proper shape for buns. Mr. Laurent soon came into the kitchen, as Terry put the buns in the oven.

“Terry dear, can you please do me a favor?” he asked. “I’ll pay you extra for it.”

“Yes sir?” she asked, wiping off her hands.

“Please, can you operate the front for me, there’s something I have to do urgently, and I’m not too sure how long I’ll be gone.” Terry stiffened a bit. Very, very rarely did she ever work in the front, Mr. Laurent preferred that, and it made her extremely anxious talking to others and taking their orders. But, this was her job, she had to overcome it eventually.

“Uhm...yes sir,” She said. “But right now I just put something in the oven, but no fears, I’ll monitor it while I look after this place.”

“Thank you so much, so so much,” Mr. Laurent smiled through his bushy grey mustache. Something about him seemed nervous, but Terry didn’t want to ask, as not to butt into his boss’s business.

“Of course sir, happy to help,” Terry smiled nervously. “I’ll make sure to do my best while you’re away.” Mr. Laurent smiled down at her, before he left in a hurry. Terry took a good look at the buns as they were cooking, and then went to the front of the bakery to start helping as saw fit.

The day seemed to start out a bit slower than other days, but of course people did come in for things like breakfast pastries. Terry was mousy and quiet, but got people what they needed, and soon grew a bit into it. Talking to people for her was the equivalent of stepping into a pool of cold water on a hot day. Hard to get used to, but forcing yourself to dive in is more comfortable when you get used to it.

It was past noon, and her boss still wasn’t back, and Terry had just sold a few slices of pie to a mother and her kids. The door opened again minutes after the mother left, and Terry had came to attention to help them.

“Good afternoon and welcome to Laurent’s, how may I help you?” she said as she did to others coming in. Walking into the bakery, a red headed young man and his pure white dog, and a dark haired older man with a bushy beard, who looked more irritated than anything. “Good afternoon miss, sorry to come in so suddenly, but can I ask a few questions?”

“Uh, yes, of course,” Terry said in surprise. “About what?”

“The recent murder not far from here near an apartment complex.” Her face dropped.

“Oh, that, I lived right where it happened,” she replied. “It kinda scares me, the thought of why whoever was killed was killed.”

“Whoever did that is a coward!” the dark haired man said loudly behind the red haired one. “Coming after a disabled sailor like that! To kill a man who can’t even run away from you is an act of a weak man with a gun!”

“Wait, who now?” Terry said in response. She might know the murder victim. She knew him as Wout. He was a bit of her aunt’s friend, and a sob story. He was a sailor for years and went on multiple voyages in his lifetime to many places, but one injury made his legs crooked and painful to walk on. As a result, he lost work, and went to live with his already elderly mother in the same apartment as Terry. She never talked much to him, but when she did, he seemed like such a nice man. Who would want him dead?

“Was his name Wout?” Terry asked.

“It-”

“It was!” The bearded man interrupted his younger friend. “When I find out who in the world would kill such a harmless man I’m gonna-”

“Captain, please!” the red headed man said, trying to calm him down. “This must be rough to hear, and you’re upset, and right now, we need answers from whoever we can.” He turned to Terry, a similar expression of concern as on her face. “I’m so sorry, miss, my name’s Tintin, you?”

“My name’s Terry,” she replied. “And uh...sir?” she turned to the bearded man, obviously enraged. He turned to her, trying to calm down in front of her.

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said sadly. “I knew Wout too, but not as much as you might have.” She went and got a slice of cake from the stand, holding it up to the older man. He looked surprised to say the least.

“Miss no I can’t accept that, I’m just having a rough-”

“I uh, well, you know, even a little bit of sugar makes the most bitter medicine better,” Terry said. He took it, but went in his pocket afterwards for money.

“It’s on the house sir.”

“I know, but, if we’re gonna be at a bakery, might as well order something for the rest of us.” Tintin smiled a bit.

“I appreciate it, Captain,” he said. “I’ll have a berry tart, and, maybe a meat filled bun for Snowy here.” Terry leaned over to get a good look at the small dog at Tintin’s foot, and grinned.

“Awww what a cutie!” she grinned, the cute little dog yipping in response.

“A best friend of mine as well,” Tintin smiled.

“My name’s Haddock by the way,” the older man told Terry. “Captain Archibald Haddock.” Terry smiled a bit.

“A captain, what a nice title,” she said. “A man I’d figure have a care for former sailors.” She presented the pastries to the group, and they sat at one of the two tables there at the bakery (nobody really sat there in all honesty). As they ate, Terry went to Tintin and Haddock, and began telling Tintin what she could, which admittedly, was very little on this case, and did explain a lot about her reaction to the ordeal.

“And nobody called the police, at all during the time of the incident?” Tintin asked.

“Not to my knowledge, because I didn’t see the police until the morning when I left for work,” Terry answered. “Poor man wasn’t the richest, in fact was very very poor, how him and his mother could still afford to live in that apartment I have no idea.”

“He was only out of commission for the last six months,” Haddock said. “An injury like his could change a man so drastically in such a short period of time.” Terry looked to him sadly, and went to pour the group some glasses of water.

“Bad things can happen to such humble people,” Terry said. “But uh...I’m sorry, I didn’t know Wout nearly as well as I imagine you’d have.”

“No, it’s fine,” Haddock said. “I feel better knowing that people knew him fondly.”

“Captain, hopefully the man who did this will be brought to justice, and we don’t have another tragedy like the one last night,” Tintin look to his notebook, closing it after that. “Thank you so much Terry, say, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten here before.”

“That was a really nice slice of cake,” Haddock smiled, Snowy barking as to agree with them. Terry smiled.

“Thank you both, hopefully you all can come again, but I might be in the kitchen instead of up front.”

“Don’t like to show your face much do you, lass?” Haddock asked. Terry blushed a bit in response.

“I get nervous around customers a lot,” she said.

“You’re doing just fine with us aren’t you?” Haddock smiled. Terry smiled back, rather flustered. Such a friendly duo, and a rather charming captain despite his anger earlier. She didn’t expect to be so comfortable around these men so fast.

“Thank you so much,” Tintin stood up. “Stay safe going back home tonight.”

“Thank you, have a nice day,” Terry smiled at the two. “Come by again, maybe, if you want.”

“I’m certainly stopping by if the sweets here taste that good!” Haddock grinned, as they left. Terry smiled, and she let an excited chill run up her body. Despite the discussion of something so grim, Terry enjoyed her time around those two. A rare feeling that was so unfamiliar it was weird. She wanted to see them again, maybe be friends, if they even wanted to be her friend in return. Her default assumption, sadly, was everyone only tolerated her until she was told otherwise.

It was the evening, an hour before her scheduled time to head home, and yet, Mr. Laurent wasn’t there yet. Terry didn’t want to be worried, and yet, she was wondering what he was doing for so long. She spent the entire day baking, cleaning, and serving customers all at once. How that man could do so much on his own before she never knew. But the radio on the shelf of the bakery tuned into the news. Terry listened in closely as she mopped the floor. It was about the murder, and she wanted to start to drown it out, until one feature about it stood in her mind.

“...the murder victim was shown to have a mark of an X branded into his cheek, and is one of three other men in the past several months that have been murdered in this fashion, shot, branded, and left on the side of the street.” Terry knew about these incidents, 3 men before him murdered, with a single gunshot wound to the head, and an X branded into their cheek. She never thought that this would be a reality until it happened so close to where she lived.

The door to the bakery opened again, and Terry wondered who would come for cake at 6 in the evening. She turned around, and there was the man from earlier. Haddock, the dark haired bearded captain.

“Oh! Good evening sir,” Terry said. “What brings you here?”

“Don’t you have another one working with you?” he asked too abruptly. “You look too young to be owning a shop on your own.”

“My boss has been out all day, actually,” Terry explained. “I don’t know what for, but I don’t really mind, I think.”

“Hopefully you’re not a total pushover to him,” he said. “I came back to order a devil’s food cake slice, and apologize for earlier.”

“Apologize?” Terry went to the glass case to get a slice of cake for the captain.

“I imagine just bursting in here yelling shook you up a fair bit, eh?”

“Well, I mean, it’s fine, really sir, what am I to judge?” She gave him a slice of devil’s cake. “You’re rightly upset, I’m more shook up at the fact that it happened right in the apartment building I live in. You never think this stuff can happen so close to home, and to you, but then it does.”

“Oh, Tintin and I know a thing about that,” Haddock chuckled.

“You all get into danger a lot?”

“That ain’t the half of it.” Terry’s eyes sparkled in curiosity.

“That, that sounds really nice, I would love to hear some stories, but I have work right now.”

“I don’t see anybody in the shop except for you and I, how about we sit down and spin a yarn or two?”

“Oh! No I can’t do that what will my boss say?”

“Don’t worry, he won’t mind you taking a few minutes to chat, he’s the one who's been gone all day anyhow.” Terry smiled a bit. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t happy to see this man again, and did sit down, putting the mop aside. “Tell me anything you can, sir.”

Terry listened with great interest to Haddock, his life as a captain on the high seas, meeting Tintin in the first place and find the riches of his ancestor that got him to own Marlinspike Hall, travelling to the arctic to discover an odd asteroid and competing against a boat on the race to claim it. She was intrigued, it was so much more of an intriguing lifestyle compared to how she lived for a good portion of her young life.

“Sir, that sounds so, well, I’d say fun but a lot of that sounds borderline life risking,” Terry said. “I’d wanna experience that, maybe just once.”

“Be careful what you wish for, dear,” Haddock said. “You just might get it.”

“That’s why I wished for it in the first place!” Terry giggled in response. The door opened up, and Terry looked to see who it was. It was her boss! Terry stood up. “O-oh, good evening sir, don’t worry I kept the bakery running-”

“Terry, don’t worry, you did great in my absence,” Mr. Laurent said. Terry looked at her  boss, and noticed the state of him. He had a horrible black eye, there were several bruises across his face and his lip was bleeding underneath his mustache.

“Sir…? Are you alright?” She asked, Haddock stood up and took a good look at him as well. “Looks like ya got into a nasty fight.”

“What? No, no, this was all in an accident on my way home,” he said. Terry noticed something very, very faint on one of the bruises across his face. It couldn’t been seen unless you were really staring, but there was an odd X on one of the bruises on his face, like something hit, or even slapped or punched him.

“Terry, you did good, and you can go home for the day, you’ll get a good sum of money for taking care of the shop for the day.”

“Will you be okay sir?” she asked.

“Of course, no worries, you can go home and rest for the night, I’ll take care of everything else.”

“A-alright sir, I’ll pack up for the night.”

“Oh, I still have to pay, don’t I?” Haddock said. “I ordered a cake, sir.” Terry went to the back and removed her apron, coming out and grabbing her coat to leave. “Have a nice night, Mr. Laurent.”

“I can walk you home, miss,” Haddock offered. “With what’s going on it’s not safe for a woman to be out here on her own.”

“I uh...are you sure?” Terry asked. “I don’t wanna be a bother.

“Of course, come on, get enough rest sir.” Haddock left with Terry down the street.

“I don’t live far from here, it’s quite alright,” Terry told him.

“Still, doesn’t feel a little better to walk home with someone for the night?” He was right about that, and Terry just nodded in response.

“Sorry, it must be creepy for an old man like myself to be so buddy buddy with a woman your age.”

“It’s fine, really, I don’t talk to people much because I assume well...I’m just an inconvenience in their space.”

“Nonsense, you’ve been a delight so far, if you don’t mind me saying.” They eventually made a stop right by Terry’s apartment building.

“This is where I live,” she said to him. “Told you, it’s not very far from the bakery.” She saw the police tape and chalk on the side of the road, where the man was murdered, and sighed. “I guess it is rather dangerous, but I don’t really, have friends to walk with me after work.”

“None? No friend in the world?”

“Just me and my aunt, I get scared finding my place amongst others, and I just fade out and not talk to them. I guess it’s gotten worse for me living here, I don’t look like anyone here as far as I’ve seen.” Haddock furrowed his brow, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“There’s no need to feel like that, I know this seems odd but, perhaps I can come around when you’re able to, and we can maybe go on walks or get a drink or two.” Terry blushed, looking at how Haddock had his hand on her shoulder.

“You...you want to do that with me? Are you sure, because I was just ranting about my own stupid issu-”

“Of course, you seem nice enough, a part of me wishes we bonded over something less…” he looked to the chalk lines of the body once there. “...tragic, but, it’s still something.”

“I’d love that!” Terry smiled. “I live on the second floor, the only door on the second floor that’s black, so it’s not hard to spot.”

“Can I count on you being there tomorrow?”

“In the morning, I leave for work at nine, but…” Terry thought back to the injury her boss had. “I’m not sure I’ll be in work, Mr. Laurent will probably have to close because of that nasty injury.”

“That one, I noticed…” Haddock thought about it. “What kind of accident gives a man that look?” One that makes you run into a fist and boot multiple times.

“I hope he’s alright, the older you are, the less likely you’ll bounce back from injuries like that.”

“I can agree, but still, have a nice evening dear.” Haddock left at that, and as Terry entered the apartment his face went bright red in embarrassment. “I’m an idiot, a dunce! What kind of a man my age just asks a young woman that?” He hopes Tintin could join them, at least he’s closer in age with that young woman, but she was awful nice to him.

Terry breathed a sigh of relief as she arrived home. “Hello? Aunt Ines?”

“You’re home early,” she smiled, on the couch with a book and tea. “I haven’t even started dinner.”

“I had to leave sooner, Mr. Laurent looked to have gotten hurt pretty badly.”

“What happened to him?”

“He just told me it was an accident.” Terry took off her coat and rolled up her sleeves. “But since I am early, how about I help you with dinner?” Ines stood up and smiled, walking off with her young niece into the kitchen to cook for the night. They talked as they do usually at the end of the day, Terry bringing up how she met Tintin and Haddock.

“They sound like nice men,” she said. “And this Haddock man is coming over tomorrow morning?”

“Maybe, we never really confirmed anything solid.”

“It’s nice seeing you make friends dear, I love being with you, but a girl your age, living here for two and a half years with not a friend in site, I get worried sometimes.”

“I’m fine Aunt Ines, really.”

“I know, but I care about you, as any guardian figure would.” Terry smiled, her forehead being lovingly kissed by her aunt. The two finished a simple dinner for the both of them, and they sat and ate, in silence, but a nice, comforting silence that only two people with a strong bond could experience with each other. A nice, comforting end to a day that was both pleasant, and a little scary.

[parkhabits]

With You {Part 1}

Mark Tuan x Reader x Jinyoung Genre: AU/Angst

Next Chapter

The summer heat filled the kitchen as you stirred the batter of the cupcakes you were making. Even with the windows wide open, no breeze came in and the air was filled with sweetness. With the back of your hand you dabbed at the sweat that had trickled down your neck as you mixed the batter with your other hand, the wooden spoon scraping against the metal bowl as you whisked away. The kitchen felt ten degrees hotter than it was outside as you had the oven running. You had made sure to put the icing in the fridge so it wouldn’t turn into a liquid goop while you waited for the first batch of cupcakes to cool. You were still readjusting to the LA summer weather. There were still boxes left unpacked in the living room, and pictures that needed to be hung on your wall. You were slowly starting to feel at home again since you moved back a month ago after five years. Your house phone rang, carrying the bowl of batter you walked over to answer it, still mixing on the way.

 “Hey mom,” you said as you continued to whip the batter, “I’m still working on the cupcakes for their anniversary,” you said tucking the phone between your ear and shoulder and making your way back towards the counter.

 “That’s good darling, I was just checking up and to remind you that it starts at 4:30.” You could hear your mom fiddling in the background.

 You glanced over your shoulder at the clock, noting that you still had a couple more hours before you had to start getting ready, “Don’t worry mom, I didn’t forget. I’ll be there with an armful of cupcakes.”

 “Okay, see you at their house later. Are you by yourself?” your mom asked.

 You starting lining the tin pan with more cupcake liners, “Yeah, Jinyoung and her are at the aquarium. They will meet us at their house later.”

 There was a moment of silence on the other line, “Mark is back you know.” Your mother stated.

 You froze as soon as you heard your mother say his name, “I thought he was supposed to be away in Asia?”

 “He’s here now, I’ve heard that he’s settling back in LA and running the operations from here. What are you going to do?” you could hear her concerned voice over the phone.

“We’ll only be there for a bit, just to congratulate them.” You said as you bit your bottom lip.

 “Okay dear, I will see you then.” your mother hung up the phone

 You removed the phone from you ear and placed it on the counter. He’s back. You ruminated over what your mom just told you. The feeling of your heart pounded rapidly against your chest and a pit started to form in your stomach. You suddenly felt too weak to mix the batter.

Both of your families were close since you both attended the same church growing up. He was at all of your family gatherings and you were at his. Growing up, any dance recital you had, his family would be there and Mark reluctantly came. You attended the same preschool, elementary school and high school. You could never remember your childhood without the Tuan family being apart of it. Both of your parents would push you and Mark together, being that you two were the same age, how perfect it would be for you two to be together. Of course as children you both were repulsed at the thought of being together, but after time, you and Mark became best friends. You’d walk home together after school, work on homework together at the library or each other’s houses, you’d call him when you were upset and he’d show up minutes later with your favorite snacks. You knew each other’s dreams, Mark wanted to run a business and you wanted to open up your own bakery. Then your friendship developed into more. Mark was the first guy you ever loved. He was your first boyfriend, first kiss, and first lover. Both of your families were supportive of your relationship and the time you were together was filled with sweet memories and young romance.  

You starting filling the cupcake liners with batter, it was Mark’s parent’s anniversary and when they found out from your mom that you were back in town they had invited you. They were hosting an outdoor celebration at their house. They had also asked if you could make cupcakes for their anniversary, reluctantly you agreed because you loved his parents, they were like second parents to you growing up.

 You remember the last time you saw Mark. It was his last year in College and you had just finished pastry school. He was stressed over his exams and you two barely saw each other. Whenever you did see each other, he was on edge and you felt like you were walking on thin ice around him. You were understanding though, he was trying hard to get into the Masters business program and obtain an internship for a company. He worked hard to achieve his goals and you tried your best to be supportive. The very last day you saw him, you had something important to tell him. You showed up at his dorm that night, however, he didn’t listen and brushed you off, “Jesus Y/N can’t you see I’m busy.” Mark ran his hands over his face as he stared down at the papers in front him. “Mark, it’s really important,” you said as tears had formed in your eyes. “Nothing is as important as this final that I’m studying for. Do you know how much stress I’m under?” he said pushing away from the desk.  “Mark,” you said reaching out to touch his hand. He felt the thin strand of control snap, he slammed his fists on his desk.  “My whole life rides on this last exam and this internship,” he finally looked at you, “Y/N I don’t think I can do this right now. I can’t balance school and you. We need to take a break.” His words back then had stabbed you right in the heart. You left his dorm, slamming the door on the way out not saying a word to him and he didn’t chase after you that night. Even after a couple days passed there was no contact from him. You were by yourself. Later that week you had told your mom everything that happened that night and how you were feeling. She mentioned how your aunt was busy with her café and needed assistance and suggested that you go for the summer. When you were at the airport before the flight you decided to call him, a woman had picked up, “Sorry Mark’s unavailable right now. He’s in the shower, may I ask who’s calling?”. Without saying anything you hung up, your heart completely shattered. You never saw Mark Tuan again. You heard stories from your mom about how he was doing and what he was up to, but it pained you too much to hear more. You never returned back home after that summer. You had developed your own life. You helped your aunt run her café and eventually starting baking and creating pastries. On the side, you had started designing wedding cakes. Eventually, the café became busier after word had spread of your pastries and it became the go to place for decadent treats. Your wedding cakes had been a hit that you even had to decline some clients because your schedule was full. Now that you were back in LA, you had hoped to build on your wedding cake business.

You added the final touches to the cupcakes, as it was their 50th wedding anniversary you had chosen red cupcake liners to match your vanilla cakes with a chocolate buttercream frosting. The color red was the significant color 50 years of marriage.

 “Perfect,” you said as you wiped your hands on the apron you wore. Now it was time to get ready, not only physically but mentally too. You weren’t sure how the rest of the evening would turn out.

 Mark pulled into the driveway of his parent’s house, the house that he grew up in. He entered through the front door, noting the streamers that were pinned against the railings as he walked through the house. There were chairs sprawled out everywhere, even more red streamers, a few balloons and as he walked towards the back yard, he couldn’t miss the big banner across the gazebo that read “Happy 50th Anniversary”. He was happy to be home after spending a couple years in Asia, he always considered LA to be his home. After interning at an international company, he had worked his ass off. Long nights at the office, travelling all over the world to set up client meetings. Eventually he had worked his way up to the fourth highest position in the company, and now he was in charge of running North American and the international operations. The back yard had tables spread out everywhere, white linen and silver cutlery were placed, and a white canopy was placed for shade.  His parents always knew how to throw a good party but he had a feeling his older sister was behind all of this detail.

“Mark! Thank god you arrived.” Mark’s older sister came bustling in, arms filled with flowers, “I need you to set up a table over there so guests can put their gifts. As well the caterers will be arriving soon so just open up the back gate for them when they arrive.” She directed as she placed some flowers into the vases for center pieces.

“Hi to you too sis,” he said as he started making his way over to set up the tables.

 “Also, underneath the banner in the gazebo I need a table there so that Y/N can set up her cupcakes.” Her sister said hastily, hoping to be as nonchalant as possible when she mentioned your name.

 Mark stopped what he was doing, “Y/N? She’s coming?”

 His sister tried to remain busy as she adjusted flowers in the vase, “She moved back here, and mom and dad asked her to do the cupcakes. She’s a pretty popular pastry chef now, even does wedding cakes.” She glanced from her periphery to see if her brother would give any kind of reaction. When she glanced, Mark was busy setting up the table, he hadn’t even responded to her. She sighed, she could never tell what her brother was thinking and he never expressed how he felt.

 Mark remained quiet as he did the tasks that his older sister had asked him too. He remembered the night he got upset with you and asked for a break. When you had slammed the door he had instantly regretting saying those words to you, but he needed to focus on school. All of his intentions were for the future he had planned together with you. The break was temporary; it wasn’t meant to be over. He remembered showing up at your doorway with your favorite flowers in his hand so he could apologize to you and beg on his knees for you to forgive him. Only to discover that you had left and went away for the summer. Your mom looked at him so apologetically, “I’m sorry Mark, she needed to go. She said it’s what’s best for you.” That is what your mom had told him, no explanation as to why you left so suddenly and vague answers when Mark had asked her what she meant by “best for him.”  He didn’t know how to describe the empty void you left him with. He was mad at you for leaving so abruptly without telling him or saying goodbye. He heard nothing from you  no matter how many times he tried contacting you and he waited for summer to be over so you would return to him. But you never came back. His mom was the one who broke the news to him that you had decided to stay and live with your aunt. What did that mean for your relationship? Had you two officially ended? For months, he despised himself for asking for a break, for treating you the way he did before that moment. It never occurred to him that he would lose you indefinitely. He didn’t just lose his girlfriend, he lost his best friend.

 Shortly after the caterers arrived, guests started to arrive. Mark was greeted by relatives and close family friends, but every time someone would walk in he would glance to see if it was you. He anticipated seeing your face, wondering if you still looked the same after all these years. He heard nothing about you. Even whilst in Seoul, he would do a double take if someone even remotely looked like you. He knew it was impossible but he still clung to the hope that he’d eventually see you again. He had reached his goals on a career level, but he was left unsatisfied. He didn’t have what his eldest sister had, a family of his own. He dated and had a few relationships, but he never offered any of the women anything more, only because he couldn’t picture a life with them, not the same way he had with you. As he was greeting his father’s golf buddy he saw you walk in and felt his heart jump to his throat.

 You came in wearing a white off the shoulder cocktail dress, it was simple but there were floral details along the bottom trim that added color. It matched the summer weather, he noticed that your hair was shorter than it was back then, cutting just above your collarbone. He stood from afar as he watched you greet people around you. He longed to be close to you. Had you always been this radiant? Mark wondered to himself. It didn’t occur to him how much had missed hearing your honeyed voice and fruitful laugh. Your smile that lit up your eyes was still the same as he remembered and he felt the jolt in his heart as you made brief eye contact with him. You still remained breathtakingly beautiful to him. He felt a deep sense of yearning, something he hadn’t felt in a while as he watched you make your way through the crowd.

 You noticed him out of the corner of your eye, panic washed over you as you tried to maintain your composure. He wasn’t the college student that you last remembered, not with him standing there in his dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up ¾ up his forearms, the first two buttons undone and khakis. He was exactly how you imagined him to look like when he grew up, your stomach formed in knots as you could feel his gaze on you. Piercing you as you moved through the crowd to say your hellos. You glanced at him and for a split second made eye contact before you turned your gaze away. You felt warm and not just from the summer weather. You felt magnified under his fixed gaze. Excusing yourself, you went to go grab the cupcakes from your car to set them up, all the while feeling Mark’s gaze on you as you left.

When you had returned, he was nowhere to be found. You laid out your cupcakes on the table, feeling a sense of relief as you now had time to collect yourself. Your mind was frazzled when you first saw Mark and after years of suppressing your emotions for him, just seeing him had the tiniest amount reappear.

 “Y/N…” you heard his voice from behind you.

 You knew you had to face him eventually. Taking a deep breath, you turned to face him, forcing a smile onto your face.  “Hi Mark,”

“It’s been a long time,” he said, trying to find the right words to say he remained silent.

As he opened his mouth to ask how you were he was interrupted, “Mommy!” a little girl with long locks similar to yours came running over and grasped your leg. You looked down and smiled as you brushed her hair away from her face “Hi baby,”

Mark’s mouth gaped open from what he was witnessing in front of him, the little girl that clung to your leg was a spitting image of how you looked as a child. Her hair was the same color as yours, she had your nose and when she looked up from you to him his heart clenched, she even had your eyes.

Just then a tall man came running over, “She bolted as soon as she saw you,” he said trying to catch his breath. “Hi sweetie, sorry we’re a bit late.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on your forehead.

The color rose to your cheeks, full of trepidation you looked up to see Mark staring at you, “Mark,” you stuttered trying to find your words, “This is my fiancée, Jinyoung” Your hands were shaking as you placed your hands on the child’s shoulders in front of you. “And this is my daughter.”

-

New Mark series on the way, be prepared for fluff and all the angst.

~Lea <3

[sunflower-live]

92 Truths

I was “tagged” ;) by @liamsgoldenjacket 

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

THE LAST… 1. Drink: iced latte from a super super cool french bakery (la panier) in pike place - anyone that lives in seattle or visits seattle needs to go here!!!! 2. Phone call: my friend asking me for directions somewhere  3. Text message: group chat with my sister and mom (mom asking if we drove into the city or took the bus)  4. Song you listened to: shazamed a song that was playing in forever 21 which was a zayn song i didn’t know about (cruel - snakehips feat. zayn)  5. Time you cried: my horse trainer and her horse fell 20 ft into a ravine and she was stuck for over 4 hours and had to be airlifted to the hospital and she broke her neck and pelvis and i watched the news story and it was horrifying 

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Been cheated on: no 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: i off and on have regretted kisses 9. Lost someone special: no 10. Been depressed: hecka from 7-10 grade  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: lol nothing makes me throw up

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

- emerald green - maroon - navy blue 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15. Made new friends: probably 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: all the time 18. Found out someone was talking about you: no 19. Met someone who changed you: i don’t think so?  20. Found out who your true friends are: lol what friends 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them 23. Do you have any pets: boy do i - 3 horses, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and some chickens but who cares about those (only the horses and dogs are actually mine - the rest are the families)  24. Do you want to change your name: no. i don’t even know if i’ll want to change my last name if i get married

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i went into the city with my parents and sister and went to some expensive ass restaurant and the waiter was fucking hilarious and v flamboyant and he brought me a tiny plastic tiara and ring pop with the bill. i didn’t even like the food but i would legit go back just to see him 26. What time did you wake up: 8:00am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading fanfic (rip me)

28. Name something you cannot wait for: the harry concerts i’m going to that are A YEAR AWAY. 

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: like 15min ago  30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: sometimes  wish i never got into riding horses because then i would probably play lacrosse or something and i would’ve gotten good grades (because i wouldn’t have just skipped school to ride and show) and i’d have gone to college and i’d literally have a normal life - so i wish i could have a normal college student life 31. What are you listening to right now: nothing 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i’m sure i have

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my mother and my sister  34. Most visited website: tumblr 35. Elementary: ? i went to elementary school up the road from my house. not a great experience but tbh i remember very little of my childhood 36. High School: ? i went to regular high school but took classes at the alternative school as well. i graduated in 2015 37. College/university: tbd. i’ve taken the community college entrance exams but that’s about it. i would like to go but it’s just not on my radar atm with all of the horse stuff i’m doing. 38. Hair color: very blonde 39. Long or short hair: i guess it would be considered long - mid back 40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes and i can’t fucking help it and it’s been over 5 years 41. What do you like about yourself: i’m really good at riding and training horses? 42. Piercings: first holes on both ears and then i did my own second on one ear and two cartilages on one ear + my nose 43. Blood type: i don’t have a clue 44. Nickname: izzy, iz, bella 45. Relationship status: single for the rest of eternity  46. Zodiac sign: taurus 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite tv show: i have so many. top five would have to be: it’s always sunny, how i met your mother, doctor who, ink master, and the challenge 49. Tattoos: black and white sunflowers on my ribs (the artist did not do them how she sketched them but they’re not bad - just not my style), russian doll on my upper arm, and a swedish flower design on my upper arm (that my mom also got so she picked it out) - i LOVE the doll and flowers. i’ve been seriously considering getting a horse shoe in the same style but i’m broke af right now and my artist is moving back to sweden :( 50. Right or left hand: right

FIRST…

51. Surgery: tonsils and ear tubes when i was really little  52. Piercing: my ears when i was in first or second grade 54. Sport: horses when i was 5 (plus multi sport summer camps and tball but those don’t count) 55. Vacation: i used to go to the hamptons a lot when i was little because my aunt was dating a super nice rich guy that lived there.  56. Pair of trainers: fuck i don’t know

57. Eating: is this still firsts because i don’t have a clue (if not firsts, nothing) 58. Drinking: lol milk? (if not firsts, nothing)  59. I’m about to: eat dessert 

60. Listening to: nothing

61. Waiting for: nothing 62. Want: more money because i’m broke as shit 63. Get married: i really hope so 64. Career: hopefully a horse trainer but my dad might be getting me a job as his office assistant that could then lead to me working in one of their hotels 

YOUR TYPE…

65. Hugs or kisses: not a fan of either but i’ve only kissed two guys so maybe i’m just missing out 66. Lips or eyes: eyes 67. Shorter or taller: taller 68. Older or younger: doesn’t really matter but in a relationship i’d rather go for older. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms? i don’t really care though 71. Sensitive or loud: both but not too much of either 72. Hook up or relationship: anything is better than the nothing i’m getting (but i’d say relationship) 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker as long as it’s nothing against the law 

HAVE YOU EVER… 74. Kissed a stranger?: yes ( tbt to my first kiss as an innocent 12 year old ) 75. Drank hard liquor?: yes  76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: all the time

77. Turned someone down: i was hanging out with a guy once and he said we should go get dinner sometime and i told him that i don’t eat. but also anytime i like a guy and they start showing interest i’m out because i have fucked up commitment issues thanks to my parents 78. Sex on first date: never had the chance but i’m sure i would if the guy was hot enough 79. Broken someone’s heart: doubt it 80. Had your heart broken: nay 81. Been arrested: nah but i got in trouble for shoplifting once 82. Cried when someone died: literally anytime someone dies  83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 84. Yourself: usually 85. Miracles: sure 86. Love at first sight: don’t think so 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss on the first date: sure? 89. Angels: eh, maybe

OTHER… 90. Current best friend’s name: my sister tessa is my #1 my #2 is my friend samantha, but she’s away at school most of the year :( 91. Eye color: green 92. Favorite movie: pans labyrinth or according to greta (just the ones that come to my mind) 

Oh lord 25 is so many people to tag but - 

@hazzardstyles @theroyalharry @2-ghosts @harryalmitey @matilda-breeze @onabedofhomemademash @niallsfish @larry-feels-like-home @harrysass @harryslittlepumpkin @runawayhaz @louiskingg @hazzaverse @larry-nomatterwhat @smallstyles @niamhyfr @fromtomlinson @1989rosesxx @donckasters @favoriteirishmember @obey-the-tommo-sass @littlemonstrosities @tomlintercourse @harryqstyles @infinitelyinlovewithfiveboys

And also anyone else that wants to do this, you can say I tagged you!

[journal-of-j34n31]

january 4-7, 2019

so life has been pretty busy, and i’ve been sick. however, i am still going to try and document everyday! all 2019, let’s go!

friday.

so i woke up to ae calling me from work, and he was talking about how his dad was talking about dropping his grandma off in mexico. i knew he had had this conversation since the first of the month, but he proceeded to ask me if i had my passport the day before as if it isn’t an hour away back at home. we had a little argument because he said he assumed i still had it and he had his but i was saying idk why he waited until last minute to ask me. whatever whatever, i got over it eventually because i was like you know what, if he wanted me to go, he would’ve asked me sooner. the rest of the day i barely talked to him just because i was a little sad about it but like i said, i got over it. it wasn’t that big of a deal. i showered and deposited my christmas money into the bank. soon after, ae got home and just being in his arms made my life complete once again. he was telling me how he doesn’t like that i just stay home all day waiting for him to get back and i should be productive etc etc. he said that just because we can’t go home all the time, doesn’t mean we have to stay in the shithole we live in all the time. we made sure we were gonna get out of the house. this is one of the many reasons why i love him, he somehow knows - every single time - how i feel and what to say about every situation. after a failed attempt at trying to hangout with ate may and ate jace, we decided we were still gonna get out of the house. we thought we should try the 85 degree bakery since everyone seems to love it and it is only 5 minutes from our place. it was cool because all the pastries and goodies were in the plastic containers for people to pick, reminding me of some bomb pan dulce. we decided to just get their mango peach smoothie with boba... and lemme tell you... BOMB BOMB. we then headed over to get the bionic burrito, mexican cali b with spam. we headed back to our place after dinner and although we didn’t do a whole bunch, we still had a good time getting out of this place.

saturday.

we started out our morning with the gym. gosh it feels so good being back into the grind. it just sucks because it’s so far. ae asked me what i wanted to work on that day, but since we did legs and arms the day before countdown, we decided to do abs. it was good because ae always pushes me, love that for me.  after we got out, we drove to my work for me to do my makeup in the car. i worked a 2-8 and not much happened during work. since i felt so sick, it was all a blur to me. i, however, ended the night fantastically because i was picked up my my favorite person ever. he brought me some hot wings and tater tots. we ended up going to ulta in mira mesa to return some stuff, ross to look around, then barnes and noble to find a journal. their selections for their planners/journals were SO cute! after that, we headed home and got ready for disneyland the next day!

sunday.

i woke up this morning bright and early because i have work at 7AM. ae woke up as well, and the two of us got ready and packed our things for our disneyland trip. we got to my work a little late because after we left, i had to turn around for a piece of paper that disney gave me for my refund. i got to work and went full force into doing things. when i got out at 11, i zoomed to the car and we were headed for disney. we had made this trip to go with lina and her mans, so i let them know we were on our way. i did my makeup in the car and when we got to anaheim, we stopped by walmart to grab some dramamine and lime hot cheetos! lina facetimed me asking me where we were and told me to share my location when we park. we tried the simba parking, no luck. then we tried another one, which was no luck again. mikey and friends was full, so we had to jump back onto the freeway and exit to park at toy story. i finished my makeup after we parked and we walked over to the tram line. it was another like half an hour wait for that. we got to the park, passed security, then had to wait in ANOTHER line for 45 min to get my refund. lina told me that they were getting in line for cars and to call her when we finished. after i got my refund, we speeded to get to radiator springs racers. when i called lina, she told me to meet her at the front of the line because she was almost up there. because there was no way for us to get there, we said fuck it and kept going through the line. i finally found lina and met her mans, cousin, and aunt. 

tbc...

[viviendoenvelvet-madrid17]

The City of Love

The entire travel process to Paris could be summed up in one word - struggle. I went straight from school to the airport on the Cercanias train, which is about the equivalent of the MARC train in DC/MD and finding my way to the airport wasn't too bad. The struggle was finding the correct terminal. Because unlike in the US where they do two very distinct parts of an airport - one for international flights and the rest for domestic, Spain is part of this thing called the EU and other international agreements (looking at you Schengen Agreement) where it just makes figuring out where your plane will be all the more complicated. After one long shuttle ride down a highway (thank god I didn't decide to try and "just walk there") I was where I needed to be for my flight to Paris. As I was sitting by my gate enjoying the sandwiches my señora packed me for dinner, the nerves hit me. I was going to be going to a country where I didn't speak a lick of the language for the first time, alone. I boarded the plane apprehensively and finally settled into my seat ready to take a power nap and just enjoy the flight - and lo and behold the captain came on over the speaker informing us that there's a strike in France's airport so we would have to wait and unknown amount of time for the okay to even take off. So there we were for, I kid you not, over an hour before we started taking off. Which, of course, ruined the shuttle reservation I had made to get me from the airport to the AirBnB once I got there. And yes, with my luck, my reservation was made for the last shuttle of the night (because my flight got in right before 11pm) so after a frantic call once I got to the airport to the shuttle service where a man kindly told me there were no more shuttles, I had to take a cab… I asked awkwardly if he spoke Spanish or English, and made my way to Rue Durantin, in the 18th arrondissement (a fancy word which here -in French- means "neighborhood").

Lucky for me I was greeted in this cozy little (and I stress, little) AirBnb by a loving boyfriend, some snacks, and a cold glass of red wine. Needless to say I was content and slept like a baby.

It was such a cute little apartment building, couldn’t have looked more European if it tried

It had a cute little courtyard too!

I really loved the old-fashioned key to get into the apartment (there was a more modern lock, too...) 

The weather was gloomy all weekend. 

Up and early and on our way to The Louvre. I was relieved to see that the metro system ran the same way the DC and Madrid metro does - on colored/numbered lines that use the end of the line stations as the point of direction, none of the NYC Subway nonsense that I've yet to understand. The museum was even more massive and impressive than I had thought. So much art, so much history, so many people! It was really fun to see the Mona Lisa (and honestly, not THAT underwhelming. Yeah, she's small, but still so cool to see with my own eyes!), really neat to feel like I was in a Dan Brown book, and incredible to see the works of all of the people I had only ever talked about in classes or read about in my "The Lives of Artists" book from elementary school. But Ryan and I aren't the biggest art museum fans (the only art related place I can spend much time in is my aunt's art studio…), so we had our fill and were on our way to our next adventure.

There was so much to see, so many hallways, so much artwork! 

Always look to see what the line your waiting in is for.

We headed over to Notre Dame to check out the cathedral and somehow ended up in the line to go up on the towers tour. Not what we had intended to do… so many stairs… so many people… but the views were pretty spectacular so in retrospect I guess it was pretty cool. By then we were starving so we got a really yummy panini and sat on the opposite side of the church, where lo and behold, we found the general entrance to the cathedral. It was very large, very dark, very gothic, very neat. I never thought I would find myself in so many churches in my life, but I am no where near being tired of visiting them yet.

The stairs were killer, but it was well worth it

Very interesting looking exterior, I really love all of the symmetry

Absolutely love the gothic arches

We rested our feet for a bit while enjoying a delicious banana and nutella crepe and mulled wine (which oh my god, is so good) and saw a pigeon get murdered. Yep, you read that right. For the sake of continuing on with this post and all of our adventures, I'll write a separate post about that pigeon affair because it certainly was… a moment… 

Always listen to your teachers.

Paco had told my class that if we were to ever visit Paris, the one thing we had to be sure to do, if nothing else, is go to Sainte-Chappelle Cathedral. I had never heard of it (I don't think most people have) which is a shame because it's the most beautiful cathedral I've ever been to. I wish I could describe how lovely it was to stand inside it and be surrounded by all the stained glass windows and see the light coming through all the different colors and shine in so many different tints. Absolutely stunning.

Just stunning. The heart eye emoji perfectly captures my feelings about this place

Sometimes what you really want is McDonalds.

The following day we visited the Palace of Versailles, which was a very interesting experience for me because earlier that week I had visited the Escorial, which was an old, very humble palace outside of Madrid where a lot of the kings lived/were buried. The vast contrast between what I had just seen and the over the top luxury and decorations of Versailles was certainly... interesting. Of course, I loved the Hall of Mirrors, and if it had been just a bit warmer, would have really loved the gardens. It was definitely worth the trek out of the city. But before we headed into town, we spotted those welcoming Golden Arches and decided that of course this would be our lunch spot. In our defense, the McDonalds' in Europe are a lot nicer than the ones back home - their McCafés actually have espresso drinks and pastries, it's a whole lot fancier! 

Loved the gold details throughout the palace

I wish it hadn’t been so crowded, I can only imagine how beautiful the Hall would have been back in its heyday 

We visited the Eiffel Tower and walked around the area and the area around our Air Bnb, Montmartre, which was super cute. I was so stunned at the size of the Tower, I guess I had just never thought about how enormous it truly was. Happy to cross that off my bucket list.

It’s MASSIVE

We were literally walking distance away! I had Elephant Love Medley stuck in my head all weekend... 

Before flying to Madrid, we had a lovely last breakfast out in a little bakery/café a few streets away from where we were staying where no one spoke English so we tried our best with our Google Translate phrases and learned the power of hand motions.

Probably should have taken the pic BEFORE I started eating...

Madrid feels like home now.

I immediately felt like I was back in my element when we set foot in Barajas. I was so excited to be able to show it to Ryan, to share what had become of my life these past few months here. The AirBnb we stayed at (I swear they're not sponsoring me or anything, I just really like them) was cute and in a great area, the only downside was that it had a tiny water heater - so we quickly learned showers were going to be super short. We hit all of the touristy places through the course of the week - Retiro, Sol, Plaza Mayor, the museum area, and all the food! Ryan got to try all of the things I had been telling him about, which was great, but the one downside was that I had classes, so we had to work around that schedule. I think we made the best of it, though.

Okay so I mainly took pictures of food, but oh well...

The calamari sandwich is one of the most typical eats from Madrid, and it’s so so good. 

El Mercado de San Miguel, such a neat market that reminds me a lot of a mini Pike Place or Reading Market. 

I won't write about how sad I was that the week came to an end, but I will say that I was so happy to have this mini vacation in the middle of the semester with him. It was nice to share my new home (he even met my host family and got the overwhelming seal of approval from my host sister, Rocio), it was nice to just be with him again. 

Only 1 month, 1 week, 2 days till I get to see him again, but hey, who's counting?

[metalarmproblems]

Interlude - Part Four

Part One / Part Two / Part Three

Summary: Bucky takes work at a bakery in Bucharest to make ends meet while he tries to pull himself together. It takes place between the events of The Winter Soldier and Civil War movies in the MCU. Tags are at the bottom. Send me a message or an ask to be added.

Word Count: 1,386

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: None

Ada watched in amusement as you set a plate down in front of the third chair at the table, which used to belong to Gabriel and had remained empty since his passing. She watched as you resumed tending to the stock pot on the stove, carefully stirring the stew it contained. A smile formed as she watched you walk back over to the plate you set down only minutes ago and remove it for the fourth time in the last hour.

“It’s not funny,” you mumbled, putting the plate back into the cabinet.

“Of course not, dear,” she soothed, “I’ve just never seen you like this.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

You returned to the pot, resuming your diligent stirring.

“You’ve never gotten flustered over a man,” she explained, “I’ve honestly been waiting for you to come out for a while.”

“Ada!”

You aunt laughed, “I thought maybe you didn’t feel comfortable, and I was a little worried.”

“You could have asked,” you said with a roll of your eyes.

“I was letting you get around to it in your own time.”

“Okay, well let me promise you now that I’m not hiding anything. He probably isn’t even coming. I forgot to tell him where we lived.”

Ada seemed to consider this for a moment before responding. “Then why--”

The conversation abruptly ended at the sound of a soft knock at the apartment door. Ada patted your arm.

“You’d better get that plate back out,” she said quietly before walking to the door.

You quickly grabbed the plate out and set it at the third chair before peeking from the kitchen toward the living room, where Ada was now letting Bucky into the apartment. He was dressed in a dark henley and jeans, and this outfit that would have looked like a casual Sunday outfit on anyone else looked like a sinful Sunday outfit on him. The fabric seemed to hug in all of the right places, and it caused your brain to mildly short circuit. He even had a small bouquet of flowers in his hand, which he handed off to Ada.

Bucky caught your eye as he entered and smiled softly. You returned the smile and ducked back into the safety of the kitchen. As you heard Ada showing Bucky around the small apartment, you found yourself wondering how he found your apartment. Had you mentioned where you lived in passing one day at work? Did Ada say something to him one day?

Your train of thought was derailed Ada’s tour brought Bucky into the kitchen with you.

“Is there anything I can help with?” he asked, looking around. “It smells great.”

You flushed at his compliment and pointed to the cabinet next to the sink.

“Can you grab us a few glasses?”

Bucky nodded, going to the cabinet you pointed to and grabbing three glasses. He set them down on the table and turned back toward you. You could feel his eyes on you, and you began to wonder if the sensation of his gaze was similar to what bugs felt like under a magnifying glass.

“I hope you’re hungry,” you blurted out to break the tense silence, “I screwed up the measurements earlier, and it made too much. I’m hoping we don’t have to be eating this stew for the rest of the month.”

He approached without a sound, something that always caught you off-guard at work. At home, it wasn’t any less unsettling. He came close and breathed in deep, peering into the pot.

“I can definitely help save you from eating that for a month,” he smiled. “I’m happy to do my part.”

Despite your best efforts to keep your cool, the corners of your mouth tipped up against your will. Bucky may have been introverted and slightly withdrawn, but damned if he couldn’t be charming when he wanted to.

Once you sat down to dinner with Bucky and Ada, he made it a point to groan appreciatively with his first mouthful of stew.

“I can’t remember the last time I had something this good,” he sighed contentedly.

Blood rushed to your cheeks, which didn’t escape Bucky’s notice. You saw the hint of a smirk cross his lips.

Ada soon pulled him into a conversation, and you were relieved to have his focus pulled from you for a while. You ate your portion of stew and listened intently as your aunt did her best to pull some details from the man about his past. Her efforts were largely unsuccessful. All Bucky shared was that he was originally from America (She complimented his perfect command of Romanian and the accent.), he ended up in Bucharest after leaving his last job (He declined to state just what exactly his previous profession was.), and he lived alone (He clarified that his previous line of work had kept him from having the time to find anyone.).

When it was time to clear the table, Bucky helped you wash dishes while your aunt divided up the remaining stew into plastic containers to be stored in the refrigerator.

“We are going to send you home with some of those,” you informed him, handing him a bowl to dry. “Actually, she will probably try to unload all of those on you now that she knows you don’t have anyone cooking for you at home. You’ll be going home with food all of the time.”

The words flew from your mouth before your socially acceptable filter could stop them, but Bucky didn’t seem to be phased by your reference to his living situation.

“If it’s always as good as this was, I won’t complain.”

You smiled warmly, “I’ll make sure you get the good stuff.”

A comfortable silence fell in the kitchen, interrupted only by the clinking of silverware against bowls and the snap of plastic lids sealing.

Once the final dish was dried and put away, Bucky thanked you and your aunt once again for inviting him as he pulled on his jacket. It was still early in the evening, but it wouldn’t be long before both of you would need to get some sleep to prepare for your early morning start time at the bakery.

“Oh, wait!” you called out as he approached the door, “I want to give you those books. Come on. I’ll get them.”

Bucky followed you to your bedroom, watching as you pulled a few Charles Bukowski poetry collections from your small bookshelf. Despite its size, the shelf was jam-packed with books. Most of them looked like they had been read at least a few times.

“Big reader?” he questioned, reading the titles to get a feel for your tastes.

You nodded and confessed, “Sometimes I need all of the escape I can get.”

His eyes seemed to study you closely as you handed over the Bukowski books. It looked almost like something inside of him broke at your words, and you began to regret even opening up. He grabbed the books and before you could release your grip, he used them to pull you closer. Your mind didn’t have time to process what was happening as his lips found their way to yours.

There was almost a hesitation to his movement once his lips brushed against yours, as if he were unsure whether or not you would want it, but it quickly dissipated as you leaned into the kiss.

After a few moments, you broke apart, both of you sporting a slight blush across your cheeks. It was clear that neither of you knew quite what to say. “I’ll...see you tomorrow,” he finally spoke, holding tight to the books you handed him.

“Okay,” you agreed, unable to think of anything intelligent to say.

Why did this all seem so much simpler in the books you read? You were fairly sure the heroine from any of your favorite novels would have thought of something witty to say by now.

Instead, you trailed behind Bucky as he went back to the front door of the apartment.

“I hope you’ll come back next Sunday,” Ada said with a kind smile as she stacked a few plastic containers into his arms.

“Thank you. I’d love to,” Bucky assured her, his eyes flickering over to you before he left and disappeared into the night.

Part Five

Tags: @partypoison @hisredhenley @themcuhasruinedme @mellifluous-melodramas @this-is-not-to-my-taste @sub-miss-me