#Mt Ebel

[yhebrew]

POLYGAMY: LAW-LESS SOLOMON? yes!

Was Ya’cov Deceived into Two Wives? YES! Whose Mandrakes were used? Cursed REUBEN Did Abraham or Isaac have many wives? NO! Did David have many wives at one time? NO! Did Solomon align with many nations? YES! Anti-Torah? Solomon, Reuben Concubines are male or female slaves. Wives are queens. Ya’cov’s wife Leah told him that he was to sleep with her because THEIR firstborn son, Reuben, had…

[coolhandluke]

Twenty Years Ago

Twenty years ago today, Cool Hand Luke played their very first show at Cafe Express in Mt. Juliet, TN. It was pretty dumb.

We had only been a band for maybe two or three months. We had only practiced a handful of times, and we had only written one or two finished songs. But Brandon and Jason knew the owner of Cafe Express, which was a Christian venue outside of Nashville. They had been telling the owner they had a punk band called Cool Hand Luke, even before they had found a drummer (me). The owner called Brandon up and said they had a last minute booking for Ghoti Hook and they needed an opener. Brandon told her we’d do it. 

There are a few things that you’ve got to understand about our adolescent minds at the time. First of all, I had not grown up listening to Christian music and I basically knew nothing about it. In fact, a year prior, I hadn’t even known that there was Christian punk or hard core or anything like that. So, I based everything off what Brandon and Jason told me. Punk wasn’t my favorite kind of music at the time, but I had been really into punk in high school. But I only knew the secular bands that I liked: The Descendents, NOFX, Bad Religions, etc. Since I was now in a Christian punk band, I started trying to get into the bands that Jason and Brandon liked: Squad Five-O, Slick Shoes, MXPX, etc. Most of the bands were on Tooth and Nail Records. Tooth and Nail was the pinnacle of what a Christian band doing undergroundish kind of music could do. At least that’s how we perceived it. 

So when we got the offer to open for a band on Tooth and Nail, we thought this was our ticket to the big time. I’m pretty sure we literally had conversations about how we’d open for Ghoti Hook, they would love us, and they would call Tooth and Nail up and say, “You’ve gotta sign Cool Hand Luke!” If you’ve been in a touring band, or if you’re not an idiot, you know that this is not how it works. Also, we imagined that any band on Tooth and Nail must be pretty huge and they were making a living doing music and living the rock and roll/Christian dream. Also a huge misconception. 

So, here were the facts: We were barely a band. We didn’t have close to enough songs to fill a set. We had a week to rehearse, write songs, and get in top form so that we could impress Ghoti Hook, get signed to Tooth and Nail, and head straight to our rock and roll destiny—you know, all for the glory of God. 

There were two problems. One was that I was working my first full time job. I was a temp at Toyota Motor Credit Corporation Lexus Financial Services. Yes, I had to say that every time I answered the phone. So, we could only practice at night. And I lived in Nashville, an hour away from Murfreesboro where Brandon and Jason lived and where we practiced. The other problem was that we needed to practice every single night for a week. But I had third row tickets to see Smashing Pumpkins at a rare acoustic performance at the Grand Ole Opry on August 5, two nights before our show. It was a dilemma: Do I go see one of my favorite bands at a cool venue from the third row? Or, do I forfeit those tickets so that I can take the step necessary to be the cool band that everyone wants to see? The answer was clear: we only had one shot to wow a Tooth and Nail band and live our dreams—I sold my ticket so that we could practice. And was it worth it? I’ll let you decide.

If you know anything about touring, you know that booking a headline show a week or two in advance is never going to be that good of a situation, unless you happen to be in U2 or something like that. (So, U2, if you’re reading this, it doesn’t apply to you.) In the 1998 pre-social media days and the infantile days of internet there weren’t many ways to promote a show with only a week. So, the turnout was less than stellar. And by that I mean, I think literally everyone at the show was our friends and family. So, probably about 25 people, none of which were actually there to see the headliner. And Cafe Express, at the time, was in a big ole warehouse. So 25 people felt like 5 people. 

We were the only opener, so all our gear was on stage. We had set up hours before and “soundchecked.” I put that in quotes because we had no idea what we were doing. We thought playing on stage would sound exactly like it did in our small practice space when we were all facing each other. So when the sound guy asked, “Do you need anything in your monitor?” I said no. I’m not sure I even knew what a monitor was. This fact would be crucial later. 

We took the stage at around 7 and started our set. I think we probably played 5 songs. One or two of them were songs we had worked on prior to our marathon rehearsal sessions, so they sounded sort of like real songs with words. In those days, Brandon played bass and sang, Jason played guitar, and I played drums. I sang harmonies on a few songs but Brandon was the front man. What I didn’t realize until later when I saw the VHS tape of the show (which I still have) was that Brandon had not had time to write lyrics for the new songs…or melodies. So, he just kind of yelled nonsense for most of them. I mean, it was pretty punk rock, but it wasn’t good. We were definitely not tight. We had only played together a handful of times, we were playing songs we barely knew, and we couldn’t hear each other. Also, our “stage presence” was a bit awkward. I looked like a dork trying to be cool. Jason, stood with his legs far apart and did not move the entire set. Brandon actually looked the coolest of us (after all he had a lip ring, which was super punk), but it was diminished by the fact that he was yelling nonsense syllables. 

The highlight of the show was our cover of The Beach Boys’ “Kokomo.” Yes, that was my idea. And I know what you’re wondering, “Did you speed it up and make it a ska version?” Yes. Yes, we did. If you recall, there is a glorious saxophone solo in “Kokomo,” so we thought it would be a good idea to have our friend Robin do a kazoo solo. So, yeah, that happened. Try to hear it in your head: “Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya,” but sped up with upbeats on guitar and of course I lifted the hi-hat on those upbeats. Never had there been such a perfect melding of genres, such creativity, song craft, and pure punk good times. 

Then the unthinkable happened: Brandon broke a bass string. He later told us he had never broken a string before. So, he didn’t know what to do. Naturally, he quit playing. When Jason realized that Brandon had quit playing, he quit playing also. Remember how I didn’t ask for anything in my monitor and I couldn’t hear anything except for the sound of my own drums bouncing all around this warehouse? Well, when Brandon and Jason quit playing, it sounded exactly the same to me. So, I finished the last double chorus of “Kokomo” all by myself. Just those dumb upbeats and my spirited high harmonies carried us through to the end. 

Afterward, Ghoti Hook was so impressed by our inventiveness and my perseverance that they immediately called Brandon Ebel (on a pay phone because no one had cell phones back then) and said, “You’ve gotta sign Cool Hand Luke!” Nope. I feel confident that we may have been the worst band they ever played with and that may have been the worst show they ever played. I’m not exaggerating. Years later we were touring through California and we stayed with the bass player of Ghoti Hook. He said he remembered that show and remember us because we were so terrible. Later, we’d come to know what nights like those were like from the perspective of a touring band. Lord, bless them for not just packing up and driving off right after our first song. 

So, am I glad I chose to arrange a ska cover of “Kokomo” rather than see Smashing Pumpkins? Not at all. But I am so thankful that God let me cross paths with Brandon and Jason and that we had some kind of fire under us for a week to start writing together. I have no idea what the trajectory of Cool Hand Luke would have been if we hadn’t chosen to play a show way before we were actually ready. But, I know the trajectory it sent us on. For a few years, it became our collective passion and our sense of purpose. Cool Hand Luke is how I met many of my best friends. It’s how I met my wife and how Jason met his. It’s how I learned who Jesus really is and how I learned to communicate the gospel. It’s how I learned to sing. It’s how I learned to play piano. It’s how I learned some painful, painful lessons about my pride, my idols, and my weaknesses. I’m still honored to be a part of it. I consider it a privilege every time I get to play music. I consider it a profound compliment if you’ve ever listened to it. Life is complex, and I have many plates to spin, but I am so glad that twenty years later Cool Hand Luke is still one of them. It has always been a complete labor of love. Soli Deo Gloria.