#Mrs Jones maybe regretting letting Blunt talk her out of retiring

[truly-sincerely]

Snakehead posting

I'm compiling shit for what MI6 actually, canonically knows about Yassen Gregorovich and I wanted to share some of the highlights from riffing with @akilah12902

Jones be like "remember after the Damian Cray incident when Alex said Gregorovich saved his life?" Cuz I don't think MI6 knows about Yassen's part in s3 at all

Just that he saved Alex's life on AF1 and then they found a gun with his prints on it next to a dead sniper who was aiming a gun at the entrance to their building

so in the second half of snakehead I'm gonna cut away to them periodically being like "we really need to figure out what the fuck is going on with this hitman who keeps showing up in really weird places"

Gonna have Smithers putting together an unhinged Yassen timeline

"once again we have no idea where Yassen Gregorovich is" (he's like two blocks away having lunch with Alex)

@akilah12902: [Smithers' is] totally the one who hypothesizes yassen and alex spent some time together at scorpia

At which point it devolved into:

Jones, later: Are you telling me that at some point in the last two years Yassen Gregorovich defected from Scorpia and started working for Alex Rider and that Alex Rider failed to mention this to us?Smithers: That certainly seems to be the case

MI6: alex Alex: hey I only just found out about this for certain like a week ago!! Jones: for certain? Alex: well maybe he kept me from getting sniped by nile and i didn't tell you BUT

Jones: You told me he didn't say anything to you on Air Force One Alex: He might've said a couple things. Just small talk, really.

Jones: alexxxxx Alex: in my defense you remember how much of a shithead blunt was being at the time? Jones: so you just didn't TELL US the assassin said— Alex, muttering: that he was friends with my dad and if I found the Widow I could get answers Jones: [screams a little]

Alex: It was just luck that Kyra happened to have already stolen Smithers' phone so we could look into it without tell you anything

Jones: THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT BETTER

Smithers: [giggling quietly]

Alex: but he really was! Friends with my dad, I mean, that's uh. Why he ditched on Invisible Sword. Julia was bragging about having had my dad killed and how she was gonna do the same to me and he... Walked Jones: [stress headache for a WEEK]

Smithers: That must've been when he started killing off Scorpia executives Alex: He did what? Smithers: Oh yes, he's killed off half the board Alex: Now it makes sense Jones: WHAT MAKES SENSE? Alex: Why he wanted to get embedded with Winston Yu so bad

Smithers, to Jones: it's like Kyra Vashenko-Chao, except… More. (jones having told alex she's not stable)

Tom, in the corner: He yassassinated them

Jones: WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE

Everyone else in unison: moral support

Smithers: also: yassassinated? Amazing. Spectacular. Absolutely going to see how many reports I can alter to use that instead

Kyra: It's only a yassassination if Yassen does it, otherwise it's a sparkling hit