#Mitsuru does appreciate that he took right to it :) No hesitation to make him feel loved! Shows he cares <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[rjr1396]

The Tragedy Behind Almost

Throughout all 16 years of Makoto's life, he never really gave his soulmate and the topic in general much thought. When he was younger, it was just something his mom would mention whenever he got a new bruise he didn't remember the cause of. After his parents died, the idea of having a soulmate gave him some comfort despite being passed around from relative to relative once they got bored or annoyed with him. His soulmate became more of an annoyance when he started his teen years, who in their right mind gets this injured this often? He did suspect abuse for a while but something told him that wasn't quite right.

The moment he saw Akihiko get injured, it all made sense.

At first he was miffed, out of all people why him? Granted it wasn't fair of him to say something like that about his soulmate, the universe had to have a reason, right? The main thing he dreaded was dealing with an overgrown energetic puppy with an affinity for fighting, but the more he observed his senior, the more he started to like the boxer.

There came the other problem: feelings. He had never dealt with them before which he was grateful for at the time, but now he was clueless and filled with a cluster of emotions that he didn't sign up for. The only sort of comfort was that Yukari seemed to be having a similar problem when it came to a certain redhead.

"You know when I first met Kirijo-senpai, I was awkward around her because of, well you know, but I got used to it, now I can't look her in the eye without blushing!" Yukari whined as they had lunch together on the roof.

"Look at it this way: at least you're gonna be set for life." He stated bluntly.

"Makoto!" She gasped before smacking his arm. She looked out into the distance before turning back to him with a sad smile. "You know, we might not end up together..." He raised an eyebrow for her to continue. "Some soulmates don't end up together. Apparently senpai's parents weren't soulmates, it was an arranged marriage. Knowing that, I'd guess that senpai will probably end up having one too."

"And you're ok with that?"

"Of course not! It honestly feels like such a slap in the face, like 'here's your soulmate right in front of you, but you won't ever get to have her.' It's not like she knows anyways..." She sighed. "Even if she did know, kinda doubt she'd want me."

"Who knows, she might. She does seem to take what you say to heart." He tried reassuring her. She shrugged.

"Well, I still won't tell her just yet. I need to sort out my own feelings." She nudged him. "So are you gonna tell him?"

“God no. The only thing he loves is getting stronger, fighting, and protein. I mean c’mon, how can I possibly compete with that?” he deadpanned causing her to snort. 

-----

Akihiko wasn’t sure why he kept looking after his leader. He thought it was because he admired his strength, but that didn’t seem right. He knew about soulmates, however, getting stronger is what mattered more to him than some random fantasy. Then came the full moon mission at the love hotel when he felt someone slap his face despite Mitsuru having not touched him, but when he saw the hand print shape on Makoto’s face, he didn’t know how to feel.

“What do you think about soulmates, Mitzi?” he asked Mitsuru one day when his thoughts wouldn’t shut up after having seen Makoto hang out with the foreign exchange student, he smiled at him! Sure it was a small smile, but that’s more than he’s ever shown to me. She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Have you met yours?” 

“I have my... suspicions. Have you?” she sighed and looked away.

“I suspect that it’s Takeba. I had a small hunch when she got hit by a shadow the first time I went with them, and I had confirmed it when she was hit with a Mudo spell because it was the worst thing I ever experienced.” her jaw clenched as she remembered the dread and pain she felt watching Yukari fall to the ground.

“I’m pretty sure mine’s Yuki.” he admitted. She turned to him surprised.

“Our leader Yuki.” he nodded. She chuckled. “Honestly, it’s not that surprising considering your tastes, Akihiko.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You would only go for someone if they were as strong or even stronger than yourself. Yuki is one of the strongest on the team, if not the strongest. So do you plan on telling him?”

“Are you gonna tell her?” she pauses.

“I did consider the option. Having her so close, and with Yuki’s help, it allowed me the courage to reject my arranged marriage. However, I don’t know if she’ll want more than the friendship we have now, I mean, it took us almost the entire year to get to this point.”

“I feel like we’re both hopeless, aren’t we?” she glared at him.

“Speak for yourself.”

-----

‘Makoto, wait!’

Seeing Makoto lie in the coffin was one of the hardest things Akihiko had to ever endure. Every could’ve been, would’ve been, should’ve been moments, wannabe fantasies played in his mind as he looked at his almost lover. He wishes that they had had more time to spend together, to cross the line and become more than just friends.

‘Don’t go, please!’

“I never told you. I was a coward and never said anything!” he punched the pillar nearby. “It isn’t fair! Miki, Shinji, and now you, why?!” he punched it a few more times before collapsing.

Don’t go where I can’t follow...

-----

“Tell Yukari.” Akihiko burst into her room after the funeral. “Don’t make my mistake.” and as soon as he came in, he left. Mitsuru sighed as she hugged herself. She couldn’t imagine what he was going through.

“Makoto was his soulmate, huh?” Mitsuru turned to see Yukari at her door.

“Yes, he was.” she sighed. “I don’t know how to help him, if I should. When it came to Shinjiro, he mourned in his own way and took it in stride, but this is different. He’s filled with regret, and frustrated with himself.” she gestured for Yukari to join her on the couch. “How are you feeling? He was your best friend.”

“Well...” she took a deep breath. “I miss him, I’m frustrated that we don’t even know what happened to him. He was fine one day and the next he’s gone.” Mitsuru hesitated before pulling Yukari into a hug. The junior pulled back and pressed a kiss to Mitsuru’s lips. “I don’t want to regret anything.” she whispered. Mitsuru smiled before pulling her back for another kiss.

-----

Akihiko woke up in the early morning in unexpected pain. It took everything in him to not scream out since he was in the woods nearby Inaba and the last thing he needed to do was attract unwanted attention. Once he settled, he checked to see if he had any injuries, but was confused to find none. He hadn’t felt any phantom pain in over 2 years, so what was that.

-----

Yukari wasn’t sure what to expect when she heard banging on the door to Mitsuru’s place, the sun hadn’t even risen yet. 

“Alright alright, I’m going.” She swung the door open to find a bewildered Ryoji with an unconscious Makoto on his back.

“I know you probably have questions, but I don’t really have many answers.” he panted, seemingly tired having to carry Makoto. They both looked thinner than they did back in high school.

“Who was at the door?” Mitsuru came around the corner and stopped dead seeing the boys.

“Can we come in, please?”

-----

Watching Hanamura and Seta work together was quite a sight to behold, and an excellent challenge for his training. The only bittersweet thing about it was seeing them be soulmates, it just filled Akihiko with daydreams of what could’ve been, but he buried it. He was glad they at least managed to come together before it was too late.

It was slightly annoying and unnerving how Seta figured out very quickly about his soulmate issue, and Hanamura was just as fast, but at least they didn’t say anything out loud knowing he wouldn’t appreciate it. Suddenly his knees started to ache as if he landed on them, causing them to buckle.

“You alright, Sanada-san?” Hanamura caught him before he could fall. He grimaced.

“I don’t really know what that was.” His phone started ringing and he answered before seeing who it was.

“Akihiko, you need to come to Iwatodai as soon as possible.”

“Did something happen?”

“You... you could say that.”

-----

“Hey, Akihiko-senpai.” Makoto greeted him as he walked through the door to Mitsuru’s apartment. It took him a moment to realize that it was Makoto, Makoto alive, greeting him like it was any other day.

“Uh, hi, Sanada-senpai.” Ryoji, holy crap Ryoji, stuttered making himself known. Akihiko just stared at his ex-leader, thoughts going a mile a minute and not knowing which direction to go to. Mitsuru placed a hand on his shoulder causing him to flinch.

“Akihiko?” she said softly. He took a step back, looked at Makoto one more time, before turning around and walking out.

-----

He didn’t stop running till he ended up in Inaba again. He turned off his phone after the third time it rang, Mitsuru is gonna kill him once she finds him. He didn’t know what to think. Makoto was alive again, so was Ryoji for some reason, and he being the coward he was, ran off. Give him a hundred shadows to fight, no problem, but have him face his feelings, and now he’s terrified.

“My soulmate died 2 years ago.” he blurted out when he joined Hanamura and Seta as they fished. “It was to save the world, and he pulled off a miracle at the cost of his life.” They both patted his back and gave him their condolences.

“Yosuke almost died on me once, it was the most terrifying moment of my life, I could only imagine how painful it must be for you.” Seta said.

“Mitsuru called me back because somehow he’s alive again. I saw him with my own eyes, and the first thing I did was run.” his head fell into his hands.

“I mean, you thought your soulmate was gone forever, seeing him again was probably overwhelming.” Hanamura reassured him. “If I was in your shoes, I would probably do the same, thinking that there was no way that it was my partner, that it had to be a trick of some kind.”

“So what do you plan to do?” Seta asked, but Akihiko shook his head not knowing how to answer.

-----

“Hanamura said that I’d find you here.” Mitsuru said as he came back to his tent after finding some food. He looked around. “No, Yuki isn’t with me, but he is here in Inaba. He doesn’t know that my meeting today is with you.” he nodded slowly.

“Here to lecture me, are you?”

“I had thought about it, but why waste my breath. I came to tell you what happened and what’s going on. I would’ve waited for you to come back on your own terms, but it’s been over a month, Akihiko. I realize that this is a strange situation, one that you may not be ready for, but it’s the reality now.” she crossed her arms. “Now sit down so I know you won’t run off on me.”

“I wasn’t going to run off...” he grumbled as he made himself comfortable. She raised an eyebrow clearly not believing him.

“Ryoji said that due to his connection with Yuki, he was able to break away from Nyx, and afterwards he decided to keep him company while he was the Great Seal. One day a woman in blue appeared, did something, he’s not entirely sure what, and they woke up alive. Yuki was awake at first, but suddenly cried out in pain before collapsing, so Ryoji had to carry him to my apartment. I suspect it was either his body coming into shock of being alive again, or it was all the cumulative pain you’ve endured for the past 2 years transferring onto him. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the latter considering how reckless you’ve been.”

“So that’s what that pain was...” he stated.

“What pain?”

“I woke up in a lot of pain the same day you called me, I didn’t know what it was since I hadn’t done anything to warrant it.” he explained.

“I see. Regardless, since they’re both technically 17 and haven’t finished high school, I’ve decided to enroll them. I can’t do it at Gekkoukan since there are records of them having attended years ago, so I thought it’d be better here. With Hanamura and the others looking after them, I think they’ll be fine.” She tossed him a small briefcase. “I got them a house with a big backyard and a loft in the back, and I made you their guardian.”

“What?! I never agreed to that!” she glared at him causing him to shut up.

“I don’t care, Akihiko. You can either stay in the house or stay in the loft for all I care, but you will be taking care of them. It’s the least you could do after you made him distraught when you walked out and didn’t come back.” he deflated. “Everything you need to know is in the case. And answer your damn phone!”

-----

“You want to work at Junes?” Hanamura seemed surprised by his request. He would’ve been shocked too, but he didn’t want to solely rely on Mitsuru’s money if he was going to take care of Makoto and Ryoji.

“I’m sticking around longer so I need some source of income, and I thought this would be my best bet.” he explained. Hanamura shrugged.

“Alright, when can you get started?”

-----

When Makoto awoke to the land of the living, he felt like he could either laugh or cry. Unfortunately neither of those things happened. He gasped, yelled out in pain (Ryoji claimed that he was screaming bloody murder), and passed out. At least he woke up in a nice bed.

Seeing Yukari and Mitsuru again was nice, even better now that they were together, although seeing Yukari pine was fun, at least they were happy. When he tried walking, he fell to his knees, still sore from the onslaught of pain he awoke to earlier.

“Junpei’s off coaching his little league team, I hear they’re doing well, so he’ll be by in a few days when he’s free. Aegis and Fuuka are in the lab nearby, but since they’re working on a project, they’ll be by tomorrow. Ken and Koromaru will be by this weekend since he's busy with summer homework.” Yukari explained when he asked about everyone else.

“And Akihiko?” she shrugged.

“I don’t know, probably off fighting bears.” he looked at her confused.

“Bears? Are you serious?” she nodded. "That idiot..." He muttered as he rubbed his chest unconsciously.

"Funny enough that's where his scar is." She pointed to where he was rubbing. "I'm sure you'll see it when he gets here since he doesn't exactly wear a shirt."

"...What does he wear exactly?"

"It's kinda like a cape." He stared at her hoping that she was joking, but groaned when he realized that she wasn't.

"Is it too late to switch soulmates?"

When Akihiko finally arrived, Makoto couldn't help but smile. He had the urge to tackle him into a hug, but he was too sore and that required too much effort. He expected Akihiko to be shocked to see him, he didn't expect Akihiko to run out without saying a word. Yukari tried reassuring him that Akihiko was probably overwhelmed since he was the one most devastated when he died, that maybe he needed some time to process.

After a few days, Mitsuru confirmed that Akihiko was no longer in Iwatodai and still refused to pick up the phone or respond to her.

Seeing everyone again did lift up his spirits somewhat, even if it was odd seeing everyone older. Amazing how much could change in 2 years, but he was glad. Having them all enjoy their lives was the reason he never regretted his sacrifice. He'd gladly do it all over again if he had to.

After 2 weeks, Mitsuru gave him and Ryoji some textbooks and told them to study cause she planned to enroll them in school again.

"I feel like it'd be awkward if I ended up bumping into Ms. Toriumi." He noted.

"Which is why you won't be attending Gekkoukan. I plan on enrolling you two at Yasogami high." She explained.

"Where's that?"

"A little town called Inaba." She answered.

"And where is that?"

-----

He had to admit that the house was nice, even if the town was smaller than he was expecting. He and Ryoji didn’t have much in possessions since anything they did have from before wasn’t much to begin with. Yasogami was different from Gekkoukan in many ways, but it wasn’t that bad. Mitsuru even introduced them to some people who would be in their class while she went off to talk to their “guardian”, whoever that was.

Starting school was easier than he thought it would be, Mitsuru made sure they were prepared. He befriended Yosuke quicker than the others due to their love of music, he helped him catch up with what he missed the past 2 years. After a week of nothing but takeout, Makoto was surprised to find the fridge full of proper food.

“Where’d the food come from?” Ryoji looked like he swallowed a lemon and looked to the loft in the backyard. Makoto saw that the light was on. “Is that our guardian?”

“Yeah. Um, it’s Sanada-senpai.” Makoto's eyes widened. “I wouldn’t bother trying to talk to him, the most he did was text me that he was bringing food. He didn’t say a word to me.” Ryoji explained.

“He... texted you?” he nodded. “How does he have your number?”

“Mitsuru-senpai. He has yours too, in case of anything.”

“That bastard.”

“We both know that emotions were never his forte.” Ryoji smirked. Makoto glared at him. “I’m not defending, just saying.”

-----

Two weeks after finding out that Akihiko was living in the loft, Makoto decided to try talking to the bastard. He knocked but no one answered. The light was on, so he had to be home.

“I know you’re in there, Akihiko!” he growled. Growing more impatient, he started banging on the door harder. “Open the damn door, you coward!”

“Makoto?” he froze, not expecting to hear Akihiko behind him.

“Hey, Makoto.” he turned to see Akihiko carrying some bags with Yosuke standing alongside him. Makoto was suddenly filled with jealousy seeing them so comfortable together. “What are you doing, buddy?”

“I wanted to talk to him.” Makoto glared at Akihiko. Yosuke laughed and swung an arm around Akihiko’s shoulders. Makoto clenched his jaw while contemplating punching his friend in the face for being too affectionate with his soulmate, and that wasn’t even starting on the list of things he wanted to do to punish Akihiko for allowing it. Since when was he this willing to allow affection?

“Oooh someone’s in trouble!” he poked at the older male causing him to become flustered.

“Shut up, Yosuke!” Akihiko lightly smacked him.

“I guess I’ll have to come around some other time for our training session. Later.” Yosuke left them. Makoto took a deep breath.

“How do you know Yosuke?”

“The same way Mitsuru does, we had a mission here and he, along with his friends, are Persona users.” Akihiko sighed. “Look, let’s just talk inside.” 

They walked into the loft. Makoto didn’t know what to expect, but he was surprised to find the place so bare. Once they were both settled in, Akihiko even got him some soda to drink, his favorite (did he know or was it a lucky guess?), the boxer just stared at the floor.

“Well?” Makoto growled.

“What do you want from me?”

“An explanation would be nice, for starters! I was excited to see you again for some reason, and I thought you would be too, but I guess not. Why would you be?! Your soulmate just came back from the dead, why wouldn’t you be ecstatic for that!” he yelled.

“Cause it’s that simple, isn’t it Makoto!” Akihiko yelled back. “During that fight, you left me! You left all of us, but you left me! That entire month where we forgot, I couldn’t help but think that there was something I had to tell you, but I couldn’t figure out what. Then when I finally remembered, I raced up to the roof to tell you that we were soulmates, to see if you wanted to start something between us, only to find you asleep. And then you never woke up again. I sat by your side begging, freaking begging Makoto, for you to wake up! For you to come back to us, to me! But it was pointless since you were gone before they could even do anything. Did you ever think of that, Makoto?” he was breathing heavily as he clenched his fists.

“Aki-”

“You know I tried to be careful of my injuries at first, only to remember that there was no point, you were gone! The only pain I was ever going to feel was my own. I wasn’t strong enough to protect you, I was useless in trying to save you! Imagine my surprise that after 2 years, after I finally drilled it in my head that I would most likely be alone cause you were the only person I ever loved, I see you alive, greeting me like nothing happened. Like the past 2 years of grief and mourning and loneliness didn’t happen. Oh wait, they didn’t happen to you, they happened to me!” the anger that Makoto had melted away as tears started streaming down Akihiko’s face.

“Akihiko...”

“What do you want from me, Makoto? Cause I don’t know if I’m strong enough to give it to you right now, if I’ll ever be.” he deflated. Makoto cupped Akihiko’s face.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered as he kissed his forehead before wiping away his tears with his thumbs. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know.”

-----

Akihiko moved into the spare bedroom, but left his workout gear in the loft. Things weren’t magically better after their talk. There were days where Akihiko wouldn’t look at him. Sometimes he wouldn’t speak to him, using Ryoji to relay messages to him. Luckily those instances were very few, but it still hurt. He knew that this was his punishment for inflicting grievous wounds on Akihiko, even if it wasn’t his intention. They both were trying to move forward at the very least.

Makoto never saw himself as the jealous type, especially after having to witness the Akihiko Sanada Fan Club chase after his soulmate for almost a year. Granted back then, Akihiko barely spared them a glance if anything, but now he still wasn’t the most touchy person, but he was clearly affectionate. He barely patted his back/shoulder on good days, Chie would get multiple head pats when they trained, Kanji and Akihiko would bump shoulders constantly, and Yosuke... freaking Yosuke would hang off of Aki any chance he could. Sure Yosuke was affectionate with him too, but he guessed that he knew about his thing with personal space since he would limit how much he clung to him (which thank god, it took Junpei ages to remember how much Makoto liked his space, and he allowed Yukari since she was more considerate to ask if it was a bad day to get close).

Today was one of the few days where their friends didn’t come over to hang out with them. Akihiko was lounging on the couch, relaxing from a shift at Junes, as Makoto and Ryoji were at the coffee table doing homework. Well Makoto was doing homework, Ryoji was trying to find anything to do but work.

“You know, this town isn’t that bad, but boy is it boring.” Ryoji commented as he got up and plopped himself on one of the recliners.

“Tell me about it, if it wasn’t for those kids being enthusiastic about training, I’d probably lose my damn mind.” Akihiko sighed. “Can’t wait til you guys graduate so that way I don’t have to stick around anymore.” Makoto looked over at the boxer.

“So you’re just gonna up and leave once we graduate?” A weird mix of irritation and dread started to fill Makoto as he directed all his attention to Akihiko.

“Not right away, but basically yea.”

“Where would you go?” Ryoji asked.

“Probably Tokyo. There’s-”

“So you’re gonna leave everyone behind? All of our friends here?” Makoto snapped, becoming more and more angry.

“I’m gonna visit! Besides, Tatsumi will be in this third year and Satonaka will be training on becoming a police officer so I wanna come back to see their progress. Yosuke already told me that he was gonna go to Tokyo too-”

“Are you kidding me?! You’re going to Tokyo because Yosuke’s going! So you’re gonna chase him around and leave me behind!” Makoto yelled as he stood up.

“What?!” Akihiko also stood up. “What are you talking about?”

“I mean, it should’ve been obvious since you let him hang off of you all the time and you guys talk all the time too. Don’t think I don’t know about your late night conversations!” Makoto was seething. Akihiko stared him down before smirking.

“Are you jealous, Makoto?” He bristled. “Holy crap you are!” Akihiko laughed. It was the first actual genuine laugh he ever heard from the older male, which would’ve been nicer if the reason behind the laughing wasn’t so infuriating.

“Are you being serious right now, Akihiko!”

“You know Yosuke has a boyfriend, right?” Makoto froze.

“What?”

“Yea, they’re soulmates, I met the guy, kinda reminds me of you actually. I’m surprised you don’t know this since one of Yosuke’s favorite things to talk about is his boyfriend. Honestly, ask him about him and he’ll talk for hours and still not be done.” Akihiko chuckled before placing a hand on Makoto’s head. “Reassuring to know that you like me, part of the reason I never said anything before was cause it was so hard to tell.” Makoto blushed but allowed the touch.

“If that wasn’t the reason, then why would you go to Tokyo?”

“Well I was going to explain, but you interrupted me.” Ryoji snorted and the two looked at him having forgotten that he was in the room. He was smirking at them as he ate popcorn.

“What the hell, Ryoji! And where did you get popcorn?” Makoto glared at him. He shrugged.

“Don’t worry about it.” he got more comfortable in his seat. “Now don’t let me stop you.”

“RYOJI!”

“Fine fine, I’ll go to my room.” he grumbled before leaving them alone.

“Anyway, I wanted to go to Tokyo because Mitsuru said that there’s been some strange things going on there, she suspects shadows might be involved, and since I technically work for her, I should go check it out. But I’m not gonna make any definite plans until I hear what you plan on doing. Your input will determine if I go with you or go somewhere near you cause the Tokyo thing is still a problem I have to look into. I’d like to stay with you, but if it’s a serious problem, I’m gonna have to move closer to the city.” Akihiko explained.

“Oh...” Makoto hadn’t thought much about the future. He hadn’t during his 2nd year either, back then thinking that he’d sort it out during his 3rd year, but then he died so he didn’t have to worry about it. “You think Mitsuru has any openings?” Aki smiled before grimacing.

“I’m sure she does, but...” he looked away before staring into his eyes and cupping his face “promise me that you won’t leave me behind again. Please. I don’t think I can handle losing you again.” Makoto looked into his eyes and he could see the pain, fear, and desperation lingering in them. He decided to be bold and pressed a kiss to Aki’s lips.

“I promise.”