#Miserable and terrified or in awful relationships or whatever because they try to have regular lives and do things like regular people

[chicago-geniza]

Shoutout to my mother for taping HOW TO UNLOAD THE DISHWASHER instructions to the front of the dishwasher, it has taken many years but at long last she has gotten the general gist of my brain problems (she was married to my dad and shared a room with my aunt growing up, after all) and is being genuinely helpful in material and meaningful ways. Thenk u momther 4 my ADL assistance

[space-whalesharks]

I don't know what has or hasn't been asked for the otp ask so whatevers left answer? Also I love them

1: Whospends almost all their money on the other? John wants to splurge on Nic allthe time. Nic… is apparently more materialistic than most of the Deps I’ve seenfor this answer because most of the time she’s all “Well alright!” :D unlessthe price tag gets too steep/over like $500 for stupid shit.  She tries to treat him as much as she can tomake up for it. She thinks it’s all in vain because of the differences in justhow much money is spent compared to him, but he loves it.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap? Both. John just latches onto her more because he’s a touch starved mess. 

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells atthem to put on some clothes? If they’re on their own and the kids are with theRyes/Sharky/etc, they’re both A-Ok with it. They figure if they’ve got it,flaunt it for themselves/each other. It’s all fun until Whitehorse comes for avisit, sees them both half naked and is very unimpressed that it was the secondtime it’s happened, at least the first time John was fully clothed and he onlyhad to be embarrassed about seeing his surrogate daughter like that.

4: Whichone tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all nightanyway? More often than not, John is the one pulling all nighters, whether it’swork to look after the Resistance people he likes/ Post-Collapse population, ornightmares from the old days. Nic gets a sixth sense about it after a while andalways tries to goad him into coming to bed or trying to get him back to sleep.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns itall by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them bothcookies? John cooks a lot to further prove it was not him who made the waterymac and cheese. Funnily enough, his mac and cheese comes out fine. It’s justeverything else under the sun that he cooks that isn’t. Nic doesn’t mind. Sheand the kids get some quality mac and cheese out of the deal. 

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” andwhich one goes “Eh, not really”? John because he’s trying to over-romantize them. Nic’s… a little more realistic than that unless the prompts are just as realistic. Or involve shit she can take and run with. Like puppies. “Who would buy the other an animal…? (gives him a pointed smile)” “Babe we have tHREE CHILDREN, A FAMILY OF BEARS, A REGULAR MOUNTAIN LION, A BLISSED MOUNTAIN LION, A ROGUE TURKEY, TWENTY DOGS (pulls prepped running list of animals they have at the ranch out of his pocket to continue)”

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes? Answered here

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says“You remembered [thing], right?”  Over here 

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions? Here 

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws? Johnfor the sake of the Bed Wade/3:10 to Yuma parallel that’s been around since I’vedreamt their relationship up. John’s a surprisingly good artist and sketchesNic any chance that he can get when she’s unaware because he’s still in awethat after all the shit God put him through, He still dropped her into his lifeand he needs to record it in any way he can.

11: Ifthey were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers andwhich one is strolling behind with a bag of chips? Both would be doing the gracefulparkour shit and trying to one-up each other while getting ridiculously turnedon at the same time.

12: Whichone of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stopdrinking? John’s got a lot of shit to work through, and has narrowed hisprimary vice down to alcohol. Nic isn’t happy, but she gets it. She doesn’texactly tell him to stop like she should, but she keeps an eye on it and steps inmore so as a “last call” type thing than anything.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of smallrandom gifts? Goes along with the money thing. John’s all about showingaffection via materialistic means. Nic doesn’t need it but doesn’t exactly mindand tries to even things out as much as she can. Him, on the other hand, keepsreminding her that he owes her his life so they’re even no matter what.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last nameinstead of their own? Gonna go straight with fic canon here where John full onstops using “Seed” and takes “Raylan” as his last name once they’re common law married so Joseph’s prophecy of himdying could completely come true/ the Seed name can die in the miserable past/Cal and the twins won’t live with that particular shadow following them/havingpeople judging them immediately for it.

15: Which one screams about the spider andwhich one brings the spider outside? Nic’s animal/insect/living creature lovingstops at spiders and mosquitos so very much her. She shrieks about it, Johngoes to kill it to be hero. Nic makes the mistake of making a joke about himbeing the primary torturer/murderer out of the pair of them so that’s why hegets the job. He barely talks to her for a day.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket?  This a way

17: Whokeeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling? Jacob’sdead and Joseph’s still all “Nicolette you’re John’s salvation, everything youdo from here on out is acceptable in my book”, and Nic’s an only child, so doesn’t really apply. Theclosest thing is Whitehorse stepping in as the father figure to give John theshovel talk. And he gives the shovel launcher talk- and takes John with himwhen he’s doing innocent ‘target practice’ to drive the point home. John doesn’t  look at him for a week.

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for theother? In my own canon, John’s head over heels in love with her the second sheshows up on that other side of the blast door in the Confession scene but hedoesn’t really recognize it. He kind of admits he’s got feelings months lateronce they’re a team, but she doesn’t believe him because they’re still at the begrudgingallies stage. Fast forward months later, she almost dies in the Collapse, outcomes the ‘L’ word from his mouth. It takes her even more months to realizethat oh hey, she actually loves him too.

19: Howgood would your OTP be at parenting? Heeerreee :3

20: Whichone types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters?Both are very proper about it. Aint nobody got time to look stupid when you’retrying to flirt with/impress/threaten your number one frenemy. (cough) New Phone Who Dis on AO3 (cough) 

21: Whogets attacked by a bully and who protects them? Accidental Judas or not, peopleand rogue turkeys are still constantly trying to kill John every so often.Thankfully much less so when the kids are around, but still. Nic’s the one thathas to go to everyone all “look at your life, look at your choices. And I knowI should take my own advice but I kind of love the idiot now and you all loveme so can you fucking not kill the father of my children, thanks”

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile everytime the other makes a pun? Nic takes after Sharky with the puns for a while.John absolutely hates it and tries to tell her until she reminds him about the  “if these walls could talk, or rather scream” line/joke/whateverthe fuck it was and that he’s got no right to talk.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought apuppy? Favorite answer so far is this way

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’retired? Both.John’s both mortified and a little turned on that she can lift him as easily as he can her. 

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which onedoes the overzealous cheering? Both, though John takes the “overzealous” to a different level because he is John, after all. 

26: Who takes a selfie when the other onefalls asleep on their shoulder? John, again, same logic as the drawing thing.He needs to record as much of their time together as possible.

27: Which one would give the other amakeover if they asked? John tries to redo her wardrobe several times. Theclosest thing to a makeover Nic gets with John is talking him into letting hertrim his beard enough- mostly for maintenance than anything. She shaves off thesides of his beard a couple of times but they both kinda low key hate it.

28: Whichone owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of? This way

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when itrains? John. Can’t have his literal savior getting sick from exposure toweather.

30: Ifyour OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Whowould take the pictures? Last but not least