#Might take the cake for the actual worst thing I've seen

[tribow]

So I dropped Kodomo No Jikan

I gave it two episodes. Straight up, this is pedophile bait. I was VERY uncomfortable watching this. I'm no stranger to seeing some pedo stuff in anime, heck I'm fine with it being there. The topic shouldn't be ignored and has a lot of avenues where it can be explored. However, Kodomo No Jikan is an example of how pedophilia should absolutely not be portrayed. (Let me be very clear: pedophilia is wrong. Please do not read this and interpret my stance as supportive of pedophilia.)

Most shows treat pedophilia like a joke. The characters who do it are clearly shown as bad and a joke to be laughed at. I've seen some stories feature pedophilia as a way to showcase the effects it can have on a child, the trauma it can cause, or the effect it has on the adult doing it. There are romance stories that ride the line with the age gap. To me, these examples are fine. It's heavy topic to work with, but there's a place for it.

In a hentai, it's whatever to me. Hentai knows exactly what it is: porn. The people who seek pedo hentai know exactly what they're getting into. That kind of porn disgusts me, but to me it's a non-issue since it is just porn. It's rare to see a hentai care about telling an actual story because that's not the point. You don't watch/read a hentai for the "plot" you're there to jerk off.

However, Kodomo No Jikan is NOT a hentai. It's an ecchi comedy. A medium where young teenagers can happen upon it ......... You might think I'm overreacting a bit. I only watched 2 episodes of a 12 episode anime. .....I wish I was overreacting.

From the first episode it's very clear that it's sexualizing children unironically. I can't give the anime the excuse of, "Oh it's joking", when half the time the only punchline is: "He's falling in love with a child". That's not a joke! It's presented completely unironically I cannot stress this enough.

The teacher in this anime is not the one making the moves here. The student is hitting on him, but his reaction isn't the responsible one that immediately calls out the behaviour as absurd. The teacher does not set boundaries. He both lets it happen and has inner monologues about how cute she is. He lets this kid sexually tease him constantly. How is this not a hentai? This is awful.

Who even animated this? Studio Barcelona? Never heard of 'em.

......

Okay they only existed for a year before becoming Diomedéa. Kodomo No Jikan being the last thing the studio worked on until becoming something new. I doubt there's any drama there. It was 2007. Degenerate shit like this wasn't that out of the ordinary so I doubt the company faced controversy over working on this. Puts a sore taste on the rest of their work though. (None of their other work seems to be actual pedo bait from what I can see)

Ugh, that's enough. The point was made. This show is awful. Terrible. Would not even remotely reccommend. I don't drop anime lightly and this one got dropped at episode 2.

[teezertales]

let him eat cake // kim hongjoong

pairing: kim hongjoong x reader genre: light smut an: this is the first fic i think i've written in years so we're in this together wc: 3k warnings: spanking, voyeurism, punishment, pain, dom!hongjoong,

You don't think you've laughed so hard in ages. It was one thing that you were even able to get Wooyoung's attention.

It was another entirely that he listened to you.

Everyone knew that Woo tended to be the most ill-behaved of them all, so it shouldn't have surprised you that he actually wanted to go along with the idea. You had thought since this was in front of thousands of Atiny, Woo might think twice about embarrassing his captain in such a public setting.

Then again, everyone also knew that Woo was a glutton for punishment.

Initially, you stood shocked when the cake smeared its black frosting across Hongjoong's face, blinking rapidly as if the scene in front of you wasn't really happening. It took all of a few seconds for the sound of the stadium's erupted laughter to register with you and you were then joining in, sides aching from how hard you laughed in utter disbelief. He took it with all the composure of the team's captain as the crowd began to settle down.

That should have been the end of it, but Hongjoong had then looked at you. Really looked at you. You'd seen that look countless times when the members acted up. It was a look that told them to come to his room later, that everyone joked was where Hongjoong would punish them by spanking them.

You honestly brushed it off at first, and would've forgotten about it had his gaze not found you when he returned to stage a few minutes later, face unfortunately still frosted.

Your stomach sank and you felt a tightness in your chest as his eyes lingered on yours. The remainder of the show was spent with your heart racing, from the adrenaline of the concert to the seriousness of his gaze each time it found you throughout the rest of the night.

You felt as if you had run a mile at the end of the show, the floor clearing out little by little until there were only a handful of groups lingering here or there. You had started on your way out of the venue when a masked staff member stopped you and asked you to follow them. That was when your heart really started to hammer away, heat rising to your cheeks. Were you going to be in trouble? Did Wooyoung somehow blame it on you, and now you were going to take the fall?

All sorts of possibilities ran through your mind as you followed them through hallway after hallway until you reached an empty green room. The staff member didn't say much as they gestured for you to sit on the loveseat, where a form and pen sat waiting for you on the coffee table.

There's no fucking way…

You looked bewildered and didn't even have the chance to hide your surprise as you stared open mouthed between the Non-Disclosure Agreement and the staff member who waited patiently with a raised brow. "One of the members would like to meet you, and in order to do that we'll need you to sign this. This is just an agreement that--"

"I-I know what it is, thank you. I'll sign it."

You hadn't meant to come off so short, but you were freaking out internally. There was a slight tremble to your hand as it reached for the pen while your eyes scanned the document. Jokes were made about this exact situation all the time and you hadn't expected to ever find yourself in it. The worst part was that you had no idea what would follow once you signed. Even so, you had.

The staff member collected the document wordlessly and slipped it into a folder behind them before they had gestured for you to follow. You stood on wobbly legs but followed out regardless, your heart pounding as heat flooded your neck and face. The possibilities of what was to come had your stomach doing flips and you silently chewed the inside of your cheek. You hadn't gone far before they stopped and you had to stop yourself from running into their back while they rapped their knuckles on the door.

"Come in," came a familiar voice that sent a chill down your spine.

The staff member pushed the door open and inward, staying in the hallway while they gestured you inside. And what greeted you when you stepped inside made your heart stop in your chest and all of the breath leave your lungs.

Kim Hongjoong.

His dark gaze flicked behind you, the silent command enough as the door shut behind you, the sound making you startle, effectively bringing you back to earth. "It was Wooyoung's i--!" had quickly rushed out of your mouth, the sentence abruptly ended by a deadly smile and finger to the lips by Hongjoong, the idol you had always dreamed of meeting.

Though you could have never pictured something like this.

The look in his eyes made your heart skip several beats, making your head swim. He knew it too, could see it in the way your eyes had widened at him like saucers with worry knitted in your brow, your lips parted in shock. Most of the frosting had been cleaned from his face, but there were still dark smudges visible--evidence of your involvement.

"Don't you remember? Wooyoung said it was your idea. He wouldn't do it if a certain Atiny did not encourage him," he said, head tilted to the side with a predatory glint in his eye. That look made your stomach coil, your legs squeeze together. You knew you were probably beet red right now, and that realization only made it worse. Hongjoong chuckled.

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't think he'd actually…I didn't even think he'd see me--! Oh my god…" You had begun, panicking once more as you ran a hand through your hair with worry etched deep in your features. Hongjoong only chuckled and stood, holding up his hands and shaking his head. "Relax, ….?" he cooed, brow raised prompting you for your name.

"Oh-- Y/N. My name is Y/N."

"Y/N…very pretty name," he said with a smile, sitting back down before he pat the cushion beside him. "Y/N, I asked before, but are you sure you are Atiny? Because my Atiny knows what happens when someone gets into trouble." You stared at him wide-eyed and quickly nodded your head. "Of course I'm Atiny! And...of course I know…" you had started out strong, determined to prove yourself as an Atiny. But your voice had faltered, quieting as you remembered what happened to those who got into trouble with the captain.

The few seconds it took you to cross the space and sit next to him--a healthy gap between the two of you--felt like an eternity as the edges of your vision darkened what was in front of you into a tunnel. You were conscious of how loud your heart hammered in your chest while the watch on your wrist vibrated to alert you of your increased heartrate. Hongjoong lifted a brow, that ever-present smirk taunting you and he nodded. "You do know? So you did it anyway, mm? It's almost like you wanted this to happen." It felt impossible for you to blush any harder but your body had become uncomfortably hot and you avoided meeting his gaze. There was no use in denying it, he knew that. He knew what his older Atiny thought of him and the rest of his members. You did want this. While you were lost in your thoughts, refusing to believe the reality before you, the very real and breathing captain watched you intently. The feeling of cool fingers on your chin made your hazy thoughts disappear in a blink and you sucked in a gasp. Hongjoong had captured your chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced you to look at him.

The second you did, all of your willpower had crumbled and the quietest whimper sounded in your throat. That made him smile, the sound of his chuckle making you press your thighs together. His head did not move as his eyes watched the subtle movement, brows raising as his smirk grew. You'd seen that look before in so many fancams, but seeing it in real life was devastating. "Y/N, I can hear how loud your heart is beating for me," he teased you as you sat awestruck, frozen under his gaze. At some point he had maneuvered himself closer to you, thigh brushing against yours and you wondered when he had had the time to do that without your notice. His face leaned into yours, his cheek brushing yours and your hand instinctively moved to cover your mouth as you sucked in a gasp. The hand that had held your chin moved to cup the back of your neck, thumb positioned on your cheek opposite his face. His breath caressed your ear as he spoke which sent a full body shiver down your spine while his other hand had moved to the dip where your hip met your thigh and squeezed once. "Y/N, I have to punish you, you know this?" When you didn't answer, the hand at your hip squeezed harder. "That was a question, Y/N." "Y-Yes..." "Yes, what?" "Yes, C..Captain." He chuckled against your ear. "Good girl. Come here," he commanded as he pulled away, patting his lap. The hand at your neck moved down your arm to your wrist to guide you closer until you were laid across his lap. You couldn't hear anything over the sound of your blood roaring in your ears while your heart pounded against your ribs. You were both embarrassed and enthralled, panicked and excited as his hands settled on your body. One moved to brush the hair that hung in front of your face behind your ear while the other rested on the small of your back. "Hmmm," Hongjoong mused, the hand on your back rubbing small circles, each circle widening until his hand rested on your ass. "I wonder how many would be enough? It is my birthday, so maybe I should do one for each year, hm? I think that is only fair. What do you say, Y/N?" You swallowed the thick lump that had formed in your throat and nodded once. "Y-Yes, Captain." "You learn quickly, I like that." CRACK. There was no warning when the first smack came and you cried out, the sting sharp even through the fabric of your pants. Hongjoong knew what he was doing as the blow landed not at the crest of where you ass was roundest, but right beneath. Right where all your weight would be whenever you sat. "Count." It was not a question and you swallowed a breath before you spoke, voice trembling. "O..One..." His hand rubbed the sting into your flesh, letting it fade before raising it and letting the second blow come without a moment's hesitation. CRACK. One of your hands covered your mouth to stifle your cry of pain, shaking as it moved away for you to count. "T-Two..." Even if it was a punishment, the soothing strokes of his palm after each slap was comforting. Hongjoong knew how to be careful, and it was clear all the rumors were true. "If it's too much, tell me to stop," he said as he massaged your already burning flesh. But he was surprised when you shook your head, glancing at him from over your shoulder. "I-I can handle it," you replied confidently despite how your voice wavered. The smile that spread across Hongjoong's face was dark, and you could see why he was part of the demon line. "Good girl." CRACK. "Three--!" CRACK. "F-Four.."

It didn't escape Hongjoong's notice how your thighs squeezed together with each blow, judging by how his hand would brush the apex of your thighs while he soothed your flesh. At some point your cries of pain had become moaning whimpers that you muffled behind your hand and you looked forward to the next and the next, your heart pounding now for other reasons. Hongjoong was enjoying it too, you could tell. If what had slowly begun to press into your abdomen while lying across his lap was any indication, he was thrilled by your responses. CRACK. "T-hirteen..." Your ass was burning, and you knew that sitting would be pain for the next few days. But God was it worth it. Hongjoong was impressed with how well you took the punishment, never asking him to stop for even a moment. The hand that wasn't spanking you would take turns caressing your back or running fingers through your hair, even moving to your mouth for you to bite down on should you grow too loud. CRACK. You wailed against his hand, a tremble in your thighs beginning to grow. Your ass was aching, heat radiating from the throbbing pain and Hongjoong waited patiently for you to gather yourself. "N.." You let out a trembling breath. "Nineteen." You tensed for the next blow only for it not to come. When you glanced over your shoulder, Hongjoong was staring intently at the door, brows narrowed. His eyes dropped to the crack beneath the door where a shadow moved. His hand rested possessively against your throbbing flesh and he spoke. "I know you are there, Wooyoung." Your head whipped toward the door as heat flooded your face. The silence felt like an eternity, and a few moments later the door slowly opened to a sheepish Wooyoung, eyes wide as his gaze fell on you across the captain's lap. Hongjoong commanded him wordlessly with a look and the door was then closed, Wooyoung crossing the room to sit in a chair opposite the couch you two were on. "How long have you been eavesdropping, Wooyoung?" He couldn't take his eyes off of the two of you, staring directly at you as he answered the captain's question. "Four.." came his simple answer before his gaze peeled from yours and moved up to Hongjoong's. "Four? And you were going to let Y/N take your punishment and listen from the outside? Naughty boy." Hongjoong scolded him, rubbing soothing circles into your ass. You were surprisingly grateful for the respite, but there were only five more to go. Wooyoung said nothing as his gaze dropped to the floor, eyes glancing at yours every now and then. "Apologize to her, Wooyoung. Make it convincing." Wooyoung looked at you for a moment before mumbling an apology. Hongjoong tensed beneath you and you felt your blush heat your face. "That wasn't very convincing. Do it properly."

Wooyoung's head snapped up to look at Hongjoong with a pleading gaze that was silenced by his hard stare. Woo stood from his chair and bowed at the waist, apologizing to you formally. He was still bowed when Hongjoong's hand suddenly cracked across your ass and you yelped, startling Wooyoung who abruptly straightened with wide eyes, his mouth agape. You began to speak, counting the spank when Hongjoong shushed you, his gaze never leaving Wooyoung's. "Count for her, you know where we left off since you've been outside the entire time." "Twenty.." came Wooyoung's quiet voice. CRACK. "Louder." CRACK. "Twenty-one--!" With each remaining blow, Wooyoung couldn't keep his eyes off of you, gaze snapping to your ass each time Hongjoong's hand met the suppled flesh. He squirmed where he stood, his own face flooded with heat. Watching the captain punish you coupled with the sounds you made had his hands folded in front of his lap, quickly getting a rise out of him. Feeling Hongjoong's arousal pressing tightly into your abdomen while watching Wooyoung's excitement grow was wreaking havoc on your mind and body. The dampness between your legs had grown so obviously that Hongjoong chuckled when his hand dipped between your thighs after each slap. "You like having Wooyoung watch don't you, Y/N?" When you didn't answer, he laughed again and glanced up at Wooyoung as he continued speaking to you. "Don't worry, I think he likes watching you, too." His free hand dipped to your cheek, caressing it softly with the pad of his thumb as he leaned in closer to your face. "You've been good, Y/N. Last one, okay?" You nodded, a whimper sounding in your throat as your hands tightly gripped his thigh beneath you. He rubbed gentle circles against your ass before lifting his hand, letting it crack harder than it had before which caused you to cry out in pain, body jerking underneath him which elicited a small groan from the man. "Mmn..twenty-four," Hongjoong said, gently soothing the sting with his own aching hand, fingers dancing between your thighs each time his hand circled low. Wooyoung was momentarily ignored as Hongjoong began to praise you. "What a good girl you were for me, Y/N. But you won't be getting in trouble again, will you? You've learned your lesson?" You were breathless, panting in his lap as you nodded weakly in response. "Y-Yes, Captain. I won't do it again.." you mumbled, letting your full weight rest in his lap. His hand had stopped rubbing circles across your ass and had now begun to settle between your thighs which made your breath catch in your throat. It was then that Hongjoong acknowledged Wooyoung again. "Since our brave Y/N took the punishment for the both of you, it's only fair you help me reward her for being so good, don't you think Wooyoung? After all, you didn't think I'd let you watch and listen without doing anything, did you? You need to make it up to her." Wooyoung blinked between the two of you before he settled on Hongjoong, nodding quickly. "O-Of course. I owe her that much," he replied as he crossed the space between you. Hongjoong jerked his chin towards Wooyoung with a grin. "On your knees, then." Woo did as he was told and Hongjoong helped you sit up off of his lap gently, guiding you to lie back against the couch before he grabbed your hips and slid your ass towards the edge of the couch. Hongjoong grinned, guiding Wooyoung between your parted thighs before straightening up behind him, arms crossed over his chest. "Mm, happy birthday to me."

[giantologist]

Relics and Remains

The find of a lifetime!

"Professor Finch? You in there?"

With a snort, Finch jolted from his desk, a sheet of paper stuck to his cheek. He pulled it off with a yawn, setting it down and looking at the clock. Seven in the morning. He'd stayed at his desk all night again, only catching half an hour's sleep. Stretching his back, he grumbled as he walked to the balcony that he'd had installed for precisely this purpose.

He recognised the giant kneeling before him, her face above him dirty and slightly sweaty. "Good morning, Skadi." Finch smiled tiredly at her. She'd shaved her head since he last saw her, but he recognised her tattoos and frankly incredible muscle structure. If he were the kind to be attracted to women, he was certain that she'd catch his eye.

"You are not gonna believe this." Skadi said with a squeak that made Finch feel a mix of anticipation and suspicion.

"Right, so, yeah, after you gave those dwarves a recommendation to hire me as a miner, we've been really seeing progress, I've been expanding their tunnels bigger than they ever dreamed. I'm so great at it too, not to blow my own whistle, but the other day--"

Finch held up a finger. "I've just woken up, I need some coffee, but do continue." He left the doors open as he walked downstairs, hearing Skadi's voice just as easily as before as it thrummed through the walls.

"We were excavating deeper, under Scarfang Pass, and Tarlan told me he'd found a cavern down the way. Naturally, I wanted to take a look, and I spent all day digging a path, found some good ore for the lads, but you will never guess what was in the cavern."

The sunlight in his kitchen was cut off, and he turned to see a large eye at his window, focusing in on him. "Tell me what was in the cavern."

"You might wanna sit down."

"Skadi, please, I am very tired."

She laughed, rumbling his crockery, and he held his coffee tightly. "I've only gone and found a burial chamber for a colossal giant."

Smash.

Finch froze, not caring about the hot coffee wetting his slippers. "You…Are you serious?! If you tell me you're joking--"

"I'm not! I actually think it might be King Bjorn, y'know the legendary one."

"You mean Bjorn Fire-Feared?!" The fabled King had been damaged by the tragic death of his family, and ruled an entire province where fire was banned upon pain of death. It was such an ancient story that it seemed like it should be unbelievable. But never had Finch heard of a complete skeleton that old, as cremation was usually the done thing. "Oh, goodness, oh my, oh, Skadi!" He began to jump around in the puddle of coffee, clapping his hands and flailing them wildly. "Let's go!" He flung open his door and ran outside, only to stop in his tracks when two grubby fingers pinched his dressing gown.

"Hold on there, Prof." She curled her middle finger around his waist and lifted him up to his balcony. "You ain't goin' in the mines in your silkies. Get your boots on and pack a lunch. He's not about to get up and walk off."

As much as Finch wanted to rush, he knew she was right. He'd get his adventuring gear too, as it was better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

oOo

They were close. On their walk, Skadi had been gushing about how much she loved working. He remembered when the dwarves had come to him asking for help getting rid of her from her cave that she had excavated herself. Their 180 in their opinion of her had been down to him, and it seemed that although their warming to her was slow-going, they did in fact enjoy her presence around the mines.

"Finbar is the worst for it though. Every day at lunch he always pretends he's lost his, and yes I don't mind giving humans crumbs, but have you seen how much a dwarf can eat? They're like bottomless pits, I end up with a half empty lunchbox by the time I've finished letting the lads eat what they want. They always joke about me snacking on them, and I've half a mind to if they think about touching my honey cake."

"Remind me not to get between you and your sweet tooth then." Finch replied from her shoulder, glad that she'd found somewhere she fit in.

Speaking of fitting in, the entrance to the mine she led him to was nowhere near big enough for her to stand. Finch was confused until he noticed the grooves in the rock on the edges of the tunnel. It seemed that to get to the main excavation, she crawled along the trenches, any miners and carts passing safely beneath her. As for transport, she slipped him into a pocket on her shoulder, seemingly oriented for just this occasion.

Finch didn't like being underground. A cave, that was fine. A canyon, he could deal with. But a tunnel that sunk into the darkness, unlit and endless, he had to duck into the pocket in order to keep himself calm.

The relief when she finally stood once more made him feel dizzy, but she nudged him onto her shoulder. "Here we go." Her voice echoed for what seemed like years as she used a nearby sconce to light her torch. As it flared into flames, Finch gasped so hard he almost choked.

The steeple of the tallest temple would be dwarfed by the breadth of the skull staring at the pair of them. Despite the intensity of the torchlight, it was difficult to make out even the beginning of the rib bones that xylophoned down toward the rest of the skeleton. It was almost unfathomable in its scale, Finch's jaw slack, his eyes boggling, bereft of speech. He could tell that Skadi was smirking at him, waiting for him to voice his amazement, but he couldn't even move, his body rigid and stunned. Never had he seen a complete skeleton. A tooth, perhaps. A finger bone, maybe. One faceplate buried into a mountainside. But nothing compared to this.

"Should we leave then?"

"Certainly not!" Finch shrieked, his shrill echo sounding like the cave was full of birds. "Oh, to be immortal, to study every inch of this cavern! It would take me centuries!"

"Let's just start with this, eh?" Skadi turned and lifted her torch. The wall above the ancient King's skull sent flickering shadows between the grooves of runes and pictograms, and immediately Finch gave her earring an excited tug forward, making her chuckle as she stepped toward it. "Heh. Don't recognise that dialect."

"It's from the birth of giantish runes! Look, it's even before the letter atte was standardised! Torch left." She did as he asked, illuminating one of the pictures with accompanying runes. "This was meant to be his epitaph. 'Tal vusar kan ur naum'. The Tomb of the Lord of Ruin." He exhaled shakily, his skin rising in gooseflesh. "The carving shows Bjorn Fire-Feared banning the use of fire. Those people there are freezing, those are starving, there's no tools or weapons being made. Torch right."

The next carving made him shudder. "He would send armies of humans and giants to punish anyone continuing to light fires. This says a village was struck by lightning, and he personally flattened it with two steps."

Skadi whistled. "What a shitty guy."

"I don't understand why they went to so much trouble to bury him if he was this abhorrent! Why not simply burn him and celebrate being free?" Finch twirled his moustache in thought. "Skadi, would you mind if I asked you for a favour?"

"As long as you sketch me beside the skull and put it in the book."

"With pleasure!" He smiled. "I need a little more light. Could you set up some braziers, perhaps? Just along the wall, and around his skull?" He pushed his spectacles up his long nose. "I should get these enchanted with dark vision…"

"Sure, Prof. Just a minute." Skadi looked around and reached for a stalagmite, breaking off the point with a tug of her mighty arm. She set Finch on the flat surface so she didn't accidentally tread on him, then her light retreated with her rumbling steps. He could hear her thundering voice calling for various dwarves to help her.

He dangled his legs over the edge of his rocky platform, closing his eyes and taking a breath to steady his heart. "How did you die? Some legends say you went mad and set light to yourself, but that clearly isn't true. Others say you gorged yourself on so many towns that the buildings burst your stomach. I've heard you were murdered by your closest friend. I can't imagine you were close to anyone. Perhaps if you were, you might not have been so cruel."

Skadi's booming presence passed him in the dark, and he envied her low-light vision for a moment, hearing clanks and clangs from all around him. Flint and steel. The roof of the cavern was suddenly lit with the impression of a skull as Skadi lit the first fire inside the King's head since he had died. One by one, slowly but surely, she cast light on the area for him, dusting off her hands once she was finished. Their area of the cave wasn't bright, but after so long in the dark, Finch could see relatively clearly. "There we go. Want me to walk you down?"

"Please." He hopped onto her hand so she could transfer him back to her shoulder, and she began at the start of the wall. As he got out his journal, she kept quiet, knowing he probably wouldn't answer her even if she did speak. He used her ear lobe to steer her almost as an extension of his own body, able to write at his own pace as the history unfurled before him.

Bjorn Fire-Feared used to be called Bjorn Stone-Hand, one of the few remaining colossal giants after the appearance of the other races, when a world of rock and bone became verdant and green. He proclaimed himself King to stop giants and humans from being at war, and it worked for a time, his country prospering so much that it could support two of his kind. His firstborn was praised as a Prince, and the land was happy. Until dissenters used pitch to set his house alight, killing his family. And then the dark times. His spiral into madness, dragging a whole nation into the cold. Almost the entire kingdom dug the grave to his command, many perishing as a result.

"He planned it." Finch said, startling Skadi. He easily kept balanced as she jumped, second nature to him, and she exhaled sharply, her heart audibly fast. "Of course he did, he died here! Nobody could've moved his body, he came here willingly!"

"So how did he die?"

"It doesn't say." Finch tapped his chin with his pencil. "Let's go look at his bones, see if I can find anything."

She nodded and turned away from the wall, approaching the skeleton. Almost vibrating with excitement, Finch stared upward with amazement at the mountainous reach of the King's jawbone, Skadi trailing her hand against it as she ducked through the letterbox shaped slot where his front teeth used to lay, into what was his mouth. "Must've been odd for giants my size back then. Not the biggest fish in the pond."

"Is easily fitting in someone's mouth changing your perspective?" Finch asked, motioning to be set down.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Skadi put Finch on the ground and passed him a torch that was comparatively a splinter. He lit it from the brazier, then began slowly walking from one end of the skull to the other. "He really had bad dental hygiene. Look at the holes there."

Finch paused by one of his bottom molars, humming with thought as he scaled his jawbone so as to better see. "There's a cavity."

"I rest my case." Skadi said with a grin, jamming her torch between two of the teeth and hopping backwards onto them as one might a countertop, sitting comfortably.

Gasping softly, Finch realised the hole was large enough for him to fit into, the edges rounded and smooth, the inside of the tooth hollow. A collection of objects, most rotted away, sat inside the tooth, along with what seemed like a human skeleton. "Wait a second." He flicked through his notes. "That phrase, it was literally 'fang hermit', it wasn't a metaphor. I think this must've been some kind of political prisoner." He scribbled something down. "Let's see… She must have lived here for some time, considering how worn her doorway is. And I think she may have been shackled to the enamel."

Skadi grimaced. "He really must have been bonkers. Imagine living in some geezer's tooth, eugh."

Finch cleared his throat, straightening his glasses. "Does this practice ring any bells to you?"

"Not a tinkle. I guess whatever it was, it was a big guy thing." Skadi hummed. "How did she feed herself?"

Finch stroked his chin. "One would suspect the same way a symbiosis would function..." Something felt odd about this. Not a single tooth he'd found in his life was the same as Bjorn's. He carefully lifted the scrap of fabric upon which the bones lay, moving it away from the pile without jostling the skeleton. He rummaged through the various bits and pieces, most of them being the usual detritus one might expect to see caught between a large giant's teeth; wood and bone and brick. However, buried in the smallest corner he found a metal lockbox, beautifully designed, screwed into the wall of the tooth. Trying not to damage either, he carefully used a nearby piece of metal to pry the box open, the rusted lock breaking with a shriek.

A leather-bound journal looked up at him as if proud to have weathered the wear of time. He was very careful with it regardless, and he stepped out onto the bone that surrounded the tooth house, sitting and tentatively opening the pages.

Skadi watched as he read, hearing his soft gasps and excited titters as he whispered the words to himself. "Well? Good read?"

"I translated the wall wrong. The two giants the land could support weren't he and his wife, it was him and his son. This is his wife."

Wrinkling her nose, Skadi slid from her sitting position and walked over, taking a knee beside Finch. "He imprisoned his wife in his mouth? That's messed up."

"O-Oh…" Finch exhaled when he turned the page. "She was just as disturbed by the fire as he was. She didn't want to lose him too, and after a failed poisoning, she wanted to be vigilant and make sure all of his food was clean." He tapped the page. "The chain was a safety measure. She must have really loved him to give up her life to keep him safe."

"If she did such a good job, what killed them both?"

Finch flipped through the pages. "She died first. There's no record of anything past the destruction of the town that was struck by lightning."

"Yeah, so that means… What does that mean?"

Suddenly alert, Finch leapt to his feet, slowly walking along the bony platform that held the teeth in place. "Let's see… If I could just… Aha!" He reached between two teeth and pulled out the long-rotted husk of a large seed, the size of a grape. "Titanfeller berries."

Skadi almost knocked Finch off his perch when she scrambled backward, and he could hear her nervous pulse through the rock. "Don't you bring that near me!" Finch still hadn't discovered what it was about titanfellers that was toxic to giants but not humans. Still, he was thankful that the seeds weren't viable. The near-extinction of a plant should've been sad to him, but he was happy that they wouldn't be used for nefarious purposes.

"Just don't lick anything, you'll be fine." He twirled his moustache around his index finger. "So… What do we know?" He carefully climbed down to the rocky floor, strolling beneath the jaw and down beside the alien architecture of his spine. Away from the braziers, he couldn't see the ribs that arched above him, but he knew they were there, the whole skeleton mapped in his head. "Did he move here to die after being poisoned?" He mumbled.

"Aren't Kings usually buried with riches?" A male voice said from somewhere in the darkness, startling Finch. "I haven't seen any gold."

Finch lifted his torch, seeing the glittering eyes of a dwarf, sitting on a rock below the root of a rib. "Ah, rather astute, Mr…?"

"Call me Gudrun."

Skadi seemed to have composed herself, and walked over to the pair. "I've told you about Gudrun, haven't I? He's got a kid with a giantess near here."

Curiosity piqued, Finch looked at the dwarf with a smile. "Oh! Wonderful to make your acquaintance! May I ask you about that at a later date?"

"Yeah. Skadi knows where I am." Gudrun stroked his beard, looking around at the skeleton. "So, what have you found out about this guy?"

Finch explained the story behind the carvings, and what he'd found in Bjorn's skull. "I just don't understand the circumstances surrounding his death. His wife died… Then he died…"

Gudrun's bushy brows furrowed. "Well, if my wife died, Gods forbid, I know I'd struggle with living on."

Skadi hummed. "I wonder why he left her there."

Finch perked up, clapping excitedly. "That's it!" He grinned at the pair. "Think about it, if you'd just seen the King crush an entire village, would you risk being within biting distance?" He looked toward the illuminated eye sockets. "So he ate the berries voluntarily."

There was a moment of quiet before Gudrun cleared his throat. "Will you be wantin' his effects? He's got a ring on his left hand, seems valuable."

Finch perked up again. "Oh! Wonderful!" He almost ran, his torchlight fading into the gloom.

Skadi blew through tight lips, a hand on her waist, and Gudrun nodded with understanding. "...Your people are real strange." He said, and she shrugged with casual agreement. "My big girl, she has all kinds of customs that just twist my brain."

The pair heard an excited jumble of theories and conclusions echoing from somewhere in the dark. "None are as strange as humans."

"You're right there, lass."

When Skadi finally went to go see what Finch was so excited about, she was unimpressed. She expected piles upon piles of jewels. "What's that ring made of?"

Finch grinned up at her as he traced the patterns with his fingertip. "I don't know! That doesn't matter right now! Look at this! Oh, this is wonderful." He pushed a long button with all of his strength, and the ring popped open. It was far too heavy for him to open all the way, but Skadi leant a hand, and he stood on the finger bone to peer inside it. "There's a whole room in here!" He cried, leaping over the metal wall. The floor was carpeted, the walls lined with built-in furniture, long-since faded and freyed. Each had a number of hoops, presumably for attaching safety ropes to.

"You think he kept people in here?" Skadi asked, Gudrun appearing over the edge of the ring, looking like he was levitating without Skadi's hand in view.

As Finch immediately began to study the journals and sketches around him, Skadi set up another brazier for him, not wanting him to get eyestrain.

Gudrun touched the metal, then knocked on it. "Pure macronium. Y'know, this stuff is only found in meteorites, but as an ore it's unstable enough to dissipate on impact." When he noticed the pair looking at him, he cleared his throat somewhat bashfully. "The wife has a necklace with a small amount of it. It's a sacred thing."

"Yeah, my Pa said only people touched by the gods could smith with macronium. You've got to crack open the meteor with your bare hands, then slowly and patiently melt it down." She pressed her hand against the cold metal too. "Bet if humans listened to our legends instead of stabby-stabby they'd really find that interesting."

Finch opened a cupboard that was built into the wall, lifting his torch to get a better look. "OH! Books!"

Gudrun looked back to Finch who was reading with one hand and writing with the other. "Anything good?"

"I can't understand a word of this! Oh, how exciting! This must be where his Queen used to live, before the fire." He flipped through a few more with fingers practised in the art of being tender with artifacts. "This will keep me up all night! A few more hours without sleep won't do me any harm."

Skadi poked her tongue into her cheek as she thought. "You haven't been sleepin' at all, have you, Prof?"

"A few stray moments here and there. But that's not important!" He waved his hand at her, carefully filling his satchel with as much information as he could. "What is important is that I have so many answers! And even more new questions!" He beckoned her hand, hopping into it eagerly. "Let's keep going!"

Skadi shook her head. "Oh, no no. I'm not taking you anywhere." When he looked like he might try and leave her grasp, she curled her fingers firmly around him, making him yelp and check to make sure the papers were undamaged. "You're gonna have a nap."

"I'm not tired, I promise." He pushed at her fingers, but they wouldn't budge. "Please, I've got to see more! I had half an hour last night, that was sufficient." He knew that beyond reasoning, there wasn't much he could do. A giant had the ability to make anyone do anything they wanted.

"Hey, we discovered this tomb, so our rules apply. It's our lunch hour anyway." She scolded as she sat down on the rocky floor, leaning against the breadth of the ring band. "You want in, Gudrun?"

The dwarf nodded with a grin. "I never turn down an opportunity to have a kip."

Skadi placed the pair of them on the warm fabric on her chest, a stark contrast from the cold of the cave, and Finch huffed. "It's easy for you. I've only got my life to spend studying your kind. Both of you know that isn't a lot."

"A nap won't kill you, Prof. Don't make me swaddle you." Skadi grumbled. Gudrun was already almost asleep, and Finch sighed dramatically as he flopped onto his back. He realised then how exhausted he was, his mind still racing, but his body thanking him profusely for resting.

"...Gudrun?"

"Yeah?"

"Tell me about your wife?"

The dwarf stretched out, opening one eye to look at Finch. "Absolutely savage, she is. Tall, sharp teeth, penchant for raw meat, the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. She can rip open a dragon with her bare hands and feast on its still warm carcass."

"It seems as though she's perfect for you." Finch pondered softly. "What's her name, this ferocious beast of a woman?"

"Carol."

Skadi shushed them, knowing Finch wouldn't stop the questions there, but he got the message, closing his eyes. Just a little nap. Then he'd get to work. Five minutes...

[anfroginous]

1 + 3? (only if you want)

ok before someone kills me I just wanna say that this is in no disrespect to anyone. ok? ok.

putting them under a cut so I don't get attacked

1: character everyone gets wrong? hmm. I feel like fanon!blinky is VERY different from canon!blinky. remember, blinky is canonically a creep + hates bad words. usually in fanon I only see "ooh he likes watching stuff"

3: worst take I've seen on tumblr: oof. probably most of the stuff that goes on in the confessions blog (the one that takes the cake for me is "steph isn't actually fat" but that might be just because i have that body type and im constantly called fat and then to see people be like "oh but we need ACTUAL fat representation" kinda stings a little. but that might just be a me thing. and also like her character wasn't made to be fat mariah is just that body type

[unhingedtiktoks]

Description: Tiktok from user eun404notfound. It's a compilation of many different people responding to the same guy (Film Cooper).

Cooper: I don't wanna be a jerk but I was born with the blood of a hater.

"Don't be so down on yourself. If you were born with the blood of anything... (audio slows down dramatically) of anybody... (speeds back up) it was Marsha P John-"

Cooper: Have you ever noticed how these two people are always best friends?

"Maybe it's just me but I can't notice anything else outside the fact that this guy has an uncanny resemblance to (slowed) Marsha P Johnson."

Cooper: I didn't invent this style and I never claimed to have. I actually credit Marsha P Johnson, a transgender woman of color to be the person I get all my fashion inspiration from. Shes the trailblazer but I'm rocking the look.

(typing noises) "Famous queer people of color..."

Cooper: Daddy is a state of mind you know what I'm saying? And I'm your daddy...

"Does that mean that Marsha P Johnson is a state of m-"

Cooper: Hi! These two people are always best friends!

"Let me take a guess. Is one of them you... and Marsha P John-"

"(doing an impression of him) I didn't invent this style and I never claimed to have. I actually credit Marsha P Johnson-"

Cooper: Madison Beer definitely got work done. Just like the US Constitution.

"Okay I might be alone on this but does this guy give anyone else like serious Marsha P Johnson vibes?"

"New aesthetic: inspired by Marsha P Johnson core." (shows images of a pearl necklace, Hawaiian shirts, a hoodie, a generic blonde white guy, black fingernails, and Timothee Chalamet who comes up when you google "a generic white guy with a middle part")

Cooper: Logan Paul just released his hand written theory on the universe and it's so stupid.

"Baby cakes why are your duets and stitches off? This is not what Marsha P Johnson would have want-"

(YouTube video from Cooper with the title "Colleen's insane ukulele apology is the worst thing I've ever seen) "even Marsha P Johnson thinks this apology was bad... RIP Colleen"

Cooper: Why the fuck- (loops and slows down, a diagram of a mouth and some furry art flash on screen for some reason)

[sassydefendorflower]

VIOLENCE BE UPON YE! 4, 13, 24

!!!! HELL YEAH!!

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Oh DAMN! Truly a choose violence ask game... since I don't do screenshots, and I won't ever put someone's username on a post like this (because I enjoy being catty, but not like that) descriptions will have to do :D

I saw a post asking whether or not Roy Mustang actually groomed Riza Hawkeye like... two minutes ago and that might have been one of the worst FMA takes I have seen in the fandom in some time. And I do have my strives with the fandom as a whole, but that might have just taken the cake (? how do you conjugate sayings???).

Also just pretty much every discussion about the brain "not actually being fully developed until the age of 25" (which is bullshit btw) and the subsequent people infantilizing grown ass adults. But those mostly just make me angry, so...

13. worst blorboficiation

Hm... Tim Drake for DC for sure. Like... every member of the Batfamily suffers from blorbofication, but there is a certain subset of Tim Drake content out there - especially in fanon circles - where Tim Drake just becomes a meek little puppet without any characterization outside of his blorbo-ness. And again... to a certain degree the entire Batfam suffers from this. Dick's Happy Family Man demeanor is an absolutely horrendous crime against his actual character core, and whatever the hell Jason has going on in fandom circles... I don't even want to know.

What was that saying? Fandom is the 5 good friends who share your tastes and the block button? Something like that.

Ed also suffers from it in FMA - I think with him it is the most obvious with all the post-canon content that refuses to acknowledge all the ways in which he grew up during the series? When he keeps his alchemy, automail, height issues and stays with the military... its like... wasn't his entire character arc about growing up? About healing? About accepting loses? About respecting boundaries? About making sacrifices? For me his character loses a lot the moment his character growth is lost - and I would describe it as blorbofication, since his Cool Powers :tm: are what drew people to him in the first place.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Do you have to ask? Shipping, of course.

Tho... FMA has a special spot reserved exclusively for War Crimes Discourse and the fact that fics from 2010 manage to be more complex and in depth about the military state in FMA than many fics from 2023. You'd think the world would be getting more anti-military, but then you read fic in a fandom with present and well-rounded military characters and suddenly everyone wants to suck their dick. Like... I am very much not condemning the porn. Really, I support the porn. I am talking about plot heavy, worldbuilding stories in which canonical anti-military characters, who canonically criticize the military state, are suddenly on board with being soldiers and officers without question. This is also not about stories that tell us about this world from the Point Of View of a soldier - I am talking about the lack of a conversation about what the political system in FMA actually is in fics which deal heavily with the politics of it all.

But yeah... shipping. People going nuts over which FICTIONAL pairing is morally okay to ship. The things I've seen, the words I'm swallowing down because I want to keep my head.

Thanks for the ask!!!

[choose violence ask game]

[aloneelunare]

i'm starting to suspect that i'm mostly writing to myself. i've been thinking about you these past few days. i am very surprised to find out that i still yearn for something that never even happened. what if? what if i wasn't afraid? what if i had more control? what if i just decided to give it a try? i am not being arrogant when i say that you would take me back if i come back to you. but she was right. what made me walk away was that i couldn't control you. i wanted it my way. i wanted you to be there when i needed you. but that was never gonna happen. "you know i cant' stay" so, what are the benefits of going home? warm bed, warm food and someone to hold at night? does she know? i bet she does. and i bet she just turns her eyes to the other side. she shuts her ears. despite everything, she knows you will always return back home. i wanted to feel the rush. the adrenaline to be seen with you. they actually asked me about you. i didn't even bother to explain. you were nothing. that's why i moved on too quickly. but i touched you. i did it because i knew since i woke up that day that i would do it. i wanted you. then your phone rang and the world collapsed. i am not even sure it was her. i don't know why i have convinced myself it was. that's the story i always tell. but i was far too drunk to actually remember. all i know is that you wanted to ran away after you answered that call. it wasn't too late. i'm trying to gather up the clues. i think i'm remembering you right now because i ran out of fantasies. i hate the father of my child because now i can see the light of our situation. he grosses me out and now i don't ever want him back. i will never forgive him. then i think about the guy before him and i'm just bored. now, he's the one that i could forgive. he's the one that i would accept. but he has to love me the way i always wanted and i know that's not in his heart. i remember how he didn't even held me when i was cold. he just wanted my warmth when no one else could see us. i do not actually want him back either. i think about the first man ever and i want him miles and miles away from me. i don't ever want to be who i was when i was with him. i'm not the best yet, but i was the worst when he was around. he's so far away from my fantasies because i might just secretly still hate him for all the damage he caused. finally, i think about the current guy. poor him. i think it's the best if i don't ever talk to him again in my whole life. if i just, disappear. he won't miss me. maybe i will get another text at 3am at the morning. but that's just about it. i'm trying to figure out if the jacket it's just an excuse to go out and have some closure. i swear on my life i never wanted to leave shit at his apartment. should i go back to get it? who the fuck knows. he helped me get through you. but since this castle it's crumbling, i find myself remembering you. making memories of the things i wanted from you. i'm so bored that i dream of a life we never had. i don't know how to go to sleep without any of this. every single one of you has been my escape. when life gets too grey, one of you is there to save me. so i have to learn to stand on my own. either i accept a lifeless life or move on to something actually enriching and interesting. can't keep depending of your drugs. the effects never lasts and i end up with so many withdrawals. you all see me lonely and vulnerable. that's why you all pick me apart. once you get a piece of cake, you walk away. and i hate it because it's true. i am lonely. i am very vulnerable. sometimes i don't want to stop being like that because it's what i had know for my whole life. bu i do wish people would stop noticing it.

[mmilkbreadd]

Chapter nineteen: “The Long-Awaited Date”

Masterpost - Prev - Next

(These links might not work so I recommend you looking at the post linked on my profile for new updates)

Warning(s): none

────────∘°❉°∘────────

────────∘°❉°∘────────

Thirty minutes later Bokuto sent you a message saying that he had already arrived at the hotel to pick you up. Emiko jumped off her bed with a big smile on her lips. When you told her about your date, she was too happy for you. Her plan had finally come to an end. 

“Have a lot of fun, y/n!” she said as she walked you to the exit. “Don't worry, I'll keep Tendou busy while you're on your date. Do not be late!”

Emiko hugged you and you walked out the door to meet a nervous Bokuto, who had a bunch of broken flowers in his hand. Seeing you, his face flushed, and looking down he handed you the flowers. 

“Thank you... They are beautiful, but what happened to them?” you said with a small smile, taking his gift with both hands. 

Bokuto laughed as he remembered what had happened. Then he began to explain the situation to you while walking towards a destination unknown to you. 

“It's really a funny story,” he laughed. “There is a flower shop on the corner of my house, I bought some that seemed very nice, as you can see. But when I was walking towards your hotel, I noticed that there was a bee inside them! I got so scared that the flowers fell to the ground, and someone accidentally stepped on them.”

Koutarou let a laugh out of his mouth. Hearing him laugh, you did too. By laughing, the uncomfortable atmosphere had already vanished, the conversation was much more fluid, and there were no more silences that could cause more discomfort. 

After fifteen minutes of walking, Bokuto stopped and pointed to your left, indicating that you had already reached your destination. Looking where he had pointed, you found a large building. A sign at the entrance indicated that you arrived at ‘Fukurodani Academy'. It was the school where Koutarou went.

“Don't tell me we're going to play volleyball. I didn't bring suitable clothes to do it!”

Bokuto laughed once more, shaking his head; and with great courage, he took your hand to start leading you into the school. 

It was not yet night, it was almost six in the afternoon so the sun was still in the sky. The school was quite bright, but there was no one on the grounds. Which scared you a bit, maybe you were trespassing. Like, you were doing illegal things. Forbidden things! 

'I don't want to go to jail! I am very young!' you thought looking back and forth looking for the blue and red lights, which would indicate that the police were nearby. But despite frantically searching, no one was there besides you and Bokuto. 

Koutarou was ahead of you, guiding you through the entire school until you reached the gym. He turned to see you and noticed your scared face. 

“Are we trespassing?” you asked. “Look Bokuto, I like you, but I don't want to go to jail. I'm barely seventeen years old!”

“Oh y/n, sorry. I should have told you before” he said releasing your hand and opening the gym door. “They let us come to train whenever we want, that's why we were able to enter. The police won't come to take us, I promise.”

Once inside the gym, a bit calmer, you saw a table in the middle of it, with two chairs next to it. On the table were two plates of food, and also a large pink cake. 

The two of you walked to the middle of the court and sat on the chairs. 

“I didn't know you were so romantic, Koutarou.” Just like the other time, Bokuto blushed when he heard his name come out of your mouth. Then you looked at what was on the plates: a large portion of your favorite food. “How did you know that this is what I like the most?”

“Emiko told me... Well I asked her actually” he said pouring water into a glass, and then he served you too. “And with the romantic thing, I don't think so. Akaashi, and the whole team as well, helped me do this. I also made this strawberry cake! It's not going to be as delicious as the one you made the other day, but give it a try!”

You blushed. You were flattered that not only had he done all this for you, but that he had also filled out your recipe, and tried to recreate it to surprise you. 

Dinner flowed smoothly, the two of you laughing the entire time, talking about everything but volleyball. Just as you promised. 

After finishing the meal, Bokuto cut the strawberry cake that he had made. To tell the truth, it was horrible. Raw on the inside and burned on the outside, your stomach wanted to vomit. But instead of spitting it out and expressing how disgusting it was, you decided it was better to try really hard to swallow the piece of cake and encourage him to keep practicing so that you could improve; even if you could tell that the kitchen wasn't Bokuto's strongest field.

It was getting late now, and the moon was already looming in the sky. It was time to go back to the hotel.

Of course, Bokuto accompanied you to where you were staying. Upon reaching the entrance, Koutarou took your hand and turned you around so you could see him. 

“So, I guess this is the goodbye…” he said with a little blush, but with a hint of sadness in his eyes.

“Yep” you didn't know what to say to him. You didn't want to leave yet, these days hadn't been enough to really get to know him. 

“I…” “I think…”

You both said at the same time.

“You first,” you said quickly. You needed a little more time before you could say something that comes from your heart. 

“Okay… I know we don't know each other very well, but I do know that I want to. I want to know you even more, ” Bokuto began, looking down more and more. All the courage he had inside him had been exhausted by taking you by the hand twice already. “Maybe I could come to visit Miyagi in a few weeks, or you can come here again, you can stay at my place! Only if you want, of course.”

Now you were the one blushing. Energy went through your body. You have never felt something like this before.

“Seems right to me. You can also stay at my house if you come during the weekend. You might not know this, but I live inside the school from Monday to Friday” you said and Bokuto raised his head. “I think I should go now. Thanks for everything, Bokuto, I've had a great time.”

Bokuto said goodbye to you and finally released your hand. Which caused a weird reaction in your body, you didn't know what it was, but you wanted his hand to be close to yours again. 

“Koutarou, wait!”  you yelled at him before entering the hotel, and when you came running to where he was, your arms wrapped around his neck. “Maybe we are both the losers of the Nationals, but we won something much more important than a stupid trophy.”

And when the two of you broke the hug, you planted a big kiss on his cheek; then quickly returned to the lobby. 

'I shouldn't have done that' you thought as you passed the doorway.

“That was the cheesiest thing I've ever seen in my life,” said a voice that came from next to you.

Turning your head you found Tendou, watching you with crossed arms.

Now your worst nightmare had come true: Satori found out that you went on a date with Bokuto.

────────∘°❉°∘────────

────────∘°❉°∘────────

Taglist: @nataliahaslosthershit @softesyoongi @allofycurlove @iwaizumi27athletictrainer @quiche-inoya @lukeyaccount @melodiamore @bokutowo @Aideen00 @amgoldena

General taglist: @moonlightaangel @indecisivehusky @kageyamasgirl

Thanks for the support!

────────∘°❉°∘────────

If you want to be tagged on these posts please comment here or send an ask.

You can also complete the form that is linked in the Masterpost.

Thanks for reading🥰

[yuusaris]

I was tagged by @pyro-sea a whiiiiiiile back and just now finally have the time to get to iiit!!!!

Name - Yuusaris (Yusariis on AO3, because Iiiiii had forgotten which letter I doubled in my new username.)

Fandoms (That I Write For) - Yu-Gi-Oh, Borderlands, and I have some nice Red Vs Blue's under my belt.

Two-Shots - Currently nonexistant! I have never been able to finish anything longer than a one-shot! Something that I do hope to stomp out, but I just... always burn out, overstretching myself before I even touch the paper. Everything I've written is a one-shot, and anything that isn't, isn't finished.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter - See above. If you're wanting to press further, my lips are sealed and I shan't reveal any prior usernames I may or may not have had.

Actual Worst Part Of Writing - Writing the stuff that actually has emotion to it. I'm really bad with tension and Bad Things Happening, and it takes a toll on my writing. If I know something bad has to happen, I soften the blow or I resolve it too quickly or unrealistically. Or not at all. And then I write weak work as a result and get bored and just... throw it out.

Like I said - I burn out really quickly.

How You Choose Your Titles - If it's catchy, has a good hook into what makes the story interesting, and is something I can use to write a summary for, then I use it. The Title should encompass what the story's gunna be for your reader, the interesting part about it, whether it's content or emotion or even just some jokes.

Example: Body for Body, Life for Life is the entire crux of Ryou and Bakura's deal, and the only way to change it is to still adhere to this.

Pantsless? In MY Chili's? is a known meme and tells us the story will be a fun romp, and that we'll be in a Chili's. Someone's pants will be off.

'Restless' was a Dragon Age one-shot I wrote in which my Warden Mahariel can't sleep due to various anxieties - she is restless, has seen a potential future where she will not rest in peace, and vows to never rest until she can die the way she feels she deserves, and not on someone elses terms.

IDK, titles are something I get particularly proud of.

Do You Outline? - only recently and even then.... it gets so confusing and convoluted so quickly. As soon as I write down the events, I realize they don't work or I change it for better characterization or what I think might be fun or cool and then the whole thing gets thrown off. And then... what, I throw out this outline. Which I worked on and is still relevant, mostly? get rid of parts that connect the other parts? Then the other doesn't make sense.

I'm trying to use them more, but they're super difficult. I always feel like I'm scrambling to figure out where the heck it all went wrong.

Ideas I probably won’t get around to but wouldn’t it be nice - ...I'm not saying I will or won't but oh my GOD I would love to write FinDom flareshipping. Or read it, So fucking bad, oh my GODDDD. callouts@ me - shuuuut up and write it. Oh my god. Just put the WORDS. on the PAGE. Sit down. Stop jumping. Stop pacing. Stop talking out loud. Stop squirming. Stop dissociating. Stop thinking about writing. Just write. Type. babble. Something. Anything. You're mania isn't writing, it's distracting you from writing. It's fine. Just write it. Two cakes, you're not unorigional. Two cakes, they want two cakes. Just fucking stop. Pacing.

Best Writing Trait - This is a hard question. This is... seriously hard..... Do I need to have a best trait? I mean, I'm not a bad writer, I'm a good one, but... idk, having a 'best' one kinda varies from story to story, doesn't it? I don't really have an answer for this. I guess it's that I'm well-rounded? Everything I write is good or servicable. I'm a good writer.

Spicy Tangential Opinion - No tangents, only truth - Seto Kaiba is a BOTTOM.

No Pressure Tagging -@tepperz because his writing and characters are lit, fanfic or otherwise. Also, gunna go with@ladymdc and @championofdogs

[recurring-polynya]

How did the sourdough turn out? ❤️ I've been wanting to do this forever but now that I'm home of course there's no flour or yeast to be found.

Here we go again, @kari-izumi asking me about my hyperfixations, lol!

I’ve been baking with sourdough since about 2007, when my now-husband’s aunt gave me a bit of her starter. Getting starter from someone else is the best way to get started with sourdough, but obviously, that’s a little tricky in these current times. An interesting fact is that starter refreshes itself with ambient bacteria from your kitchen, so there’s no point in ever trying to get “San Francisco Sourdough” starter, because it will just turn into Your Kitchen Sourdough within a few months (unless, of course, your kitchen is in San Francisco). Also, the more you bake, the more free-floating flora you’ll have in your kitchen, so as you’re becoming a better baker, your kitchen is also becoming a Better Place For Bread.

Back to the story! I baked with that for a few years, and then I guess I fell off it, and neglected my starter and it went Bad and I had to throw it out. (I don’t exactly recall the circumstances, but I am sure it had something to do with having a baby). A few years later, when I was on maternity leave with my daughter, I decided to try and make my own starter from scratch, here it is, on what is approximately its sixth birthday:

I made it using the method described in Peter Reinhart’s book, the Bread Baker’s Apprentice, which is my go-to artisan bread book. You basically mix up water and rye flour and keep refreshing it until it catches some yeast. I’ve heard of other methods using ripe fruit and stuff, I have never tried that. I know this worked (look at that bubbly bastard!), although it took several months before it became powerful enough to really rise a bread. If you have it, you can always spike a young starter with yeast until it comes into its own.

I am not the best sourdough person in the world. As you can see, I keep it in a plastic Rubbermaid instead of glass or ceramic. It usually lives in my fridge for 2-4 weeks at a time, then I take it out, remove some for baking, and refresh. If want to make a bread, I will try to take it out and refresh it a day before starting the bread.

For the last year or so, the main thing I make with the discard is pizza. My kid doesn’t like tomato sauce, so I make a lot of pizza at home and just roast garlic down to mush instead as sauce, and then throw a bunch of vegetables on to pretend its healthy. What it is, is delicious.

The reason for this is that most of my bread recipes take a 2-3 day build and I’m just not that organized. But I’m home all the time now, so I have been doing it.

Here is the first one I made, which is just a very standard white sourdough loaf (there were actually 2, a lot of recipes make multiple loaves):

It was, as our friend Paul Hollywood would say, massively underproofed, and this picture was strategically taken to hide the huge rip in the bottom. I made those nice slashes, but noOOOOooo it had to explode itself from the bottom. It was also delicious.

A few days later, I decided to make a sunflower rye (both these recipes are in that Reinhart book). I had the sunflower seeds, I just forgot to put them in:

This one was supposed to be in the shape of a couronne (crown) which is supposed to be a ring with four creases, but it outrose its creases. Also delicious.

I then remembered that I used to make English muffins with discard all the time, so I did that, too. If I owned a proper biscuit cutter, I would have made nice circles, but I usually just cut the dough into 12 squares and then they get all funny shaped when I try to scrape them off the counter. I am lazy and life is too short to re-roll scraps, just avoid making scraps in the first place. These make excellent egg sandwiches, but I also ate a few with beans and cheese on them.

The other thing we do with discard a lot is that my husband makes waffles. I don’t know why this has become his thing, but he is waffle guy (for the record, he does the lion’s share of cooking in general, I do the baking) Sourdough starter is a really useful thing to have around the kitchen! I don’t really care for carrot cake, but my husband and son do, and this is probably the best carrot cake I have ever made.

I just want to say, I’ve seen a lot of people on Twitter making fun of folks who are trying out sourdough for the first time, and I strongly disagree: I’m really proud of anyone giving it a go! My philosophy toward things that sound hard has always been, “Eh, why now, what the worst that can happen? I’m bad at it?” So you’re bad at something, and then you work at it, and then you get better. I was real bad at sourdough when I started and I am so, so grateful to my friends and husband who ate so much of my bad bread, especially this one guy I know who would eat ANYTHING, no matter how much of a brick it was. I am a pretty mediocre baker, but I will try anything, and mediocre homemade bread is still really delicious, and it honestly doesn’t take a whole lot of skill to impress your friends. (I have also found this to be true for drawing, gardening, hockey playing and computer programming)

If you’re looking for baking resources, I learned a lot about bread baking from the Fresh Loaf and that Reinhart book that I mentioned. For all-purpose baking, King Arthur is my fav. I took a cinnamon rolls class at their Vermont Baking Center once, and it might have been the best day of my life.

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah, Jac, Amelia & Isabelle

Savannah: What are we doing to get party ready? Savannah: because I vote we hit the spa to get our collective ✨ back Savannah: it should be ILLEGAL how my skin looks Jac: No way, I was JUST thinking how good your skin looked like THIS morning Jac: but it's never NOT a good time for the spa too though so 🤭 Savannah: your hype is everything! I don't even deserve how flawless you are in a beyond skin deep way Savannah: but yes to the spa being my go to fave ^^ Amelia: I can't Jac: only giving what you put out, it is beyond deserved ❤❤ Jac: Why not Meelie? Amelia: I'll be at the party but the only way I could be there too is if my mum comes with and NOBODY wants that Jac: Your mum is fun Amelia: not that fun Jac: Doesn't [some boujee place they'd like] have a 10% discount right now, Savvy? Jac: they do THE BEST facials Savannah: 👏🏾 Yes! You have the BEST taste & I think it's actually gone up to 15% 🙌🏾 Isabelle: Awh 😟 it sounds like so much fun but mine won't give me any money and I'm so broke after getting those new trainers Savannah: Don't be silly! It's totally my treat, Is Savannah: your pores shouldn't have to stay clogged for the sake of those trainers Jac: That is so generous of you 🥺🥺 Jac: I NEED a hot oil hair treatment like yesterday, I don't know why it's so dry right now but it's not a mood Savannah: your hair looked beautiful yesterday & if you don't believe me, I literally heard so many girls from the year above talking about it so Jac: 😳😳😳 Jac: well I KNOW Ty heard those 6th years talking about you, he was so jealous, bless him 🥰 Savannah: I was in the bathroom overwhelmed by sadness & I heard your name over & over, it felt seriously fated Savannah: oh my god, he refuses to tell me what they sad, I've given him the full 🥺 & everything Savannah: *said Amelia: maybe you need bigger eyelashes Savannah: Do you think? Jac: Oh my God, where even was I? Boo! 😖 You should have called so I could come find you Jac: no way, you like, INVENTED puppy dog eyes, your natural lashes are so thick and dark Jac: he's just saving your blushes, so cute Savannah: ugh, my phone was like dying because Sienna had all this drama with a girl in her class earlier Savannah: 🥰 you're so cute, I can't even handle all these compliments Jac: Is she okay or do we need to talk to this girl? Jac: her year is vicious, I swear Savannah: she says she's okay but she can't hide how upset she is from me Jac: You're way too empathetic, you know her inside out Jac: Poor Sienna, does she want to come too? Savannah: that's SUCH a great idea, I'll ask her Jac: We could all get matching nails Isabelle: Sorry...mum called Isabelle: won't that be really expensive though? are you super sure Sav? Savannah: of course, Is Savannah: it's not like I need a new outfit for Erin's house party Isabelle: Yay, thank you so much! 😁 So you can come too Meels? Amelia: No Amelia: it wasn't about the money, remember? Isabelle: 😥 you don't want to be left out though Amelia: there's nothing I can do about that Isabelle: oh that's such a shame Isabelle: I'll bring you back some of those mini cakes and sandwiches they do Amelia: thanks Amelia: I'll see you at Erin's Jac: Are you sure there's no way? Amelia: you've really forgotten the 📅 haven't you? Jac: Oh, it's her birthday Jac: right? Amelia: yeah Savannah: we should send her 💐 from all of us Savannah: I love your mum Jac: Are you definitely coming to the party then? Amelia: I'll be there Amelia: Erin throws a good party Jac: 💐 is a great idea, we can go pick them out Jac: what are you doing with her today then? Amelia: 🎭🩰 totally not my thing but my dad won't take her Amelia: she doesn't think I will either, so it'll be stay a huge surprise Jac: That's really nice, she'll love it Jac: I'd love to go sometime Savannah: Ballet lessons were the highlight of my Saturday when I was little, I was obsessed Savannah: mainly for the outfits though 😄 Jac: I can so picture you with your little bun 😊 adorable Savannah: [pics because she's that bitch] Jac: 😭😭😭😭 Jac: how have you always been PERFECT Jac: I was so ugly 😬😂 Amelia: no you weren't Jac: I so was Jac: you and Is were really sweet and I was so 😱😱 Jac: never mind the puppy fat, yikes Amelia: the fringe my mum forced me to have was not sweet 😣 Savannah: I'm with Amelia, you were definitely such an 👼🏻👶🏻 Amelia: she was Amelia: [pics of them all as kids but especially her being bffs with Jac to make that point to Savannah like] Jac: You guys are so sweet Jac: I love you Isabelle: I look exactly the same is that a good or a bad thing Amelia: 😂 Amelia: better than looking like 👧🏻 Amelia: I'm literally an emoji Isabelle: Iconic, some would say Isabelle: 🤭 Savannah: these pics are going to make me cry, I swear Savannah: too adorable Savannah: as if you've all been friends for so long Jac: It's so wild to me that we weren't friends before now Jac: we should've been friends this whole time too Savannah: I know, but I guess I wasn't ready until now Savannah: I had so much character development to do first Jac: 🙌🙏 ^^ SAME Jac: it had to be now Jac: you're all being nice about it but I would lowkey DIE if you knew me even a few years ago Jac: not cute Savannah: ^^^^^^ Savannah: Ty hasn't seen me before we got together & I 🙏🏾 he never will Amelia: he didn't go to another school, I think he knows that you existed before him Jac: the glo-up is too real to go back 💁 Savannah: I'm still waiting for my glow up Savannah: there's only so much the spa can do Jac: 😤 you're so FLAWLESS Jac: like literally, there isn't a single thing wrong with you Savannah: stop, I don't know if I'll start blushing or sobbing Isabelle: I would love to look like you, Savannah Isabelle: what should I wear tonight? Isabelle: I want Tom to notice me Savannah: I'm flattered but you need to embrace your own beauty, Is Savannah: it's so important Savannah: Oh, Tom R or Tom S? Isabelle: Ew, Tom S Isabelle: I made out with Tom R last year and it was baaaad bad Savannah: One second, I'll ask Ty about him now I have the right Tom Isabelle: I'm so excited I might puke Savannah: okay so he likes to make the first move, you'll need to dress like you're not the kind of girl who kissed Tom R Isabelle: How do I do that? I need help 😩 Savannah: maybe you can borrow something of Amelia's Isabelle: Can I Meels? Isabelle: I dunno if I'll suit your style though...I'm not cool Amelia: I couldn't get the grass stains out of the skirt you borrowed last time Isabelle: Whoops 😉 Amelia: and you don't need to dress to impress Tom S anyway, he's nothing special Isabelle: He's so lush though Amelia: 🤨 Isabelle: Come on! You have eyes Isabelle: isn't he so fit guys Savannah: I only have eyes for one boy, but he does have nice eyes himself Jac: You've done worse Isabelle: Yeah, Tom R for example Isabelle: 😨 Savannah: 😅 Savannah: You know who apparently is the worst kisser ever, Donovan! Savannah: have you ever kissed him, Is? Isabelle: Have I? Isabelle: 🤔 Amelia: he leaned in to 💋 but you 🤮 on his trainers Isabelle: Ha! Isabelle: Dodged a bullet, apparently Jac: He wasn't as fast Savannah: Oh my god! Jac: It was so shaming, we had to call her mum to pick her up Savannah: my parents would kill me Jac: Your mum is like, beyond chill, Is Jac: she lets you get away with loads Savannah: I'd be beyond jealous if I wanted to kiss Tom R, or fall down drunk in his path, at least Savannah: thankfully he's not my type Isabelle: Not even, she was so mad at me for ages Isabelle: I was sick in the fireplace Isabelle: it was so hard to clean Jac: Is that friend of Ty's going? Jac: 😶 Savannah: yes Jac: 🥴 Isabelle: oooooooooooooooooh, do you like someone J?!?!? Savannah: he doesn't usually go to house parties but as soon as he heard you were, he recognised that Erin's had potential Isabelle: who who Savannah: J doesn't want to make a big deal out of it Amelia: then why turn it into a big secret? Jac: It's no secret Jac: but Is has already got no chill and you know I'm shy Jac: I won't be able to cope with how blatant her 👀 is Amelia: you could've told me that you liked someone Jac: I am telling you Jac: like, right now Amelia: not really Jac: What do you mean? 🤨 Amelia: I mean, you're not actually telling me anything Jac: I'm not trying to like, commandeer this whole convo and make it about me Jac: but okay Jac: he's one of Ty's friends, he's on the team too Amelia: I could scroll up for that info but okay Jac: I don't know what you want me to say? Jac: I've not spoken to him properly yet, he's just interesting Amelia: interesting how? Jac: 😳 Savannah: is this third degree honestly necessary? Jac: maybe I shouldn't go now Jac: I'm feeling kinda off Savannah: Baby 😔 Savannah: we can do whatever you want to do Jac: No, I won't spoil your guys fun Jac: you should all go Savannah: it won't be any fun without you Savannah: & anyway, if you don't feel well you need someone there to take care of you Jac: You'd do that for me? Jac: you'll make me cry, I swear Savannah: It's just a stupid party, you're you Jac: Will Ty be mad at you? Savannah: of course not, all his friends will be there, he doesn't need me as much as you do Jac: I wanna still try to do the spa Jac: for Sienna Jac: but I just can't see him now, the anxiety is too high Savannah: she'll understand if we have to reschedule but it might make you feel better to be pampered Savannah: but I'll give you a facial if you can't cope with a full spa situation Savannah: it's totally your decision Jac: I do have this new mask I think will be amazing for your skin type Jac: bring Sienna, she can see the new pup we just got Savannah: you understand too, don't you, Is? Savannah: I'll take you for a manicure next week, I promise Isabelle: Oh, yeah, totally Isabelle: mum said it's too much to accept anyway Isabelle: Are you sure you don't want to come though? Isabelle: sounds like he really wants to see you Savannah: I'm here for you if you want any more outfit help for Tom, just facetime me Isabelle: Thank you sweetie, I'm really torn between these 3 dresses Isabelle: wait, 4 Isabelle: I'll definitely call Jac: You're a doll, Is Jac: Tom is gonna be 😍 Savannah: ^^ I can't wait to hear how blown away he is by you Isabelle: I'll give you all the rundown tomorrow morning 😁😁😁 Isabelle: do you want to go together, Meels? Amelia: I've got to put the time in with mum, I'll probably be late getting there Amelia: don't worry about waiting for me Isabelle: Okay, if you're sure Isabelle: come find me when you get there Amelia: yeah, Tom's tall, I'll be able to Isabelle: 🤤🤤🤤 Isabelle: he's so tall Amelia: play it cool, Is Isabelle: 😖 Savannah: you don't need to listen to Amelia, she's not an expert Amelia: I don't need to know about boys, I know her Isabelle: I don't wanna be sick on this one's shoes Amelia: of course you don't Amelia: trust me, drink less, dance more Jac: you should let him give you your first drink Savannah: 👏🏾 he'll LOVE that Isabelle: Ugh, thanks guys Isabelle: I am going to need to pre-drink though Isabelle: for my nerves Amelia: me too, for my 🎭🩰🧠 Jac: What ballet is it? Amelia: 🔥🐦 Jac: Your mum will love it Amelia: she hasn't already seen it, that's a good start Jac: I haven't either Jac: I mean, I just watch the performances at home but yeah Jac: we've sent the flowers via one of those postbox ones, they'll come tomorrow Amelia: she'll love those too Amelia: maybe even more than seeing me dressed for 🎭🩰 Jac: send us your outfit too then, yeah Amelia: no way, they're going nowhere but my mum's facebook Jac: I am her friend, you know Isabelle: hey, I'm not! Amelia: add her, she won't mind Isabelle: I'm so going to Isabelle: not my Insta though Isabelle: I've blocked mine 💁 Amelia: it's okay, I don't let her on my insta either any more Amelia: she leaves too many 😳 comments Isabelle: Mammys are the worst Isabelle: 😬😬 Amelia: at least she understands socials, my dad is clueless Amelia: and he's not THAT old Isabelle: My nan loves selfies Amelia: your nan is my everything Amelia: if I could bring her to the party tonight, I would Isabelle: 😂 you're so wild Amelia: tear yourself away from whichever Tom it is and you'll see Isabelle: not with Pam thank you 🤣 Isabelle: she has a boyfriend Amelia: get it Pamela Isabelle: his name is Brian Isabelle: they go down dolly mount every Friday, it's so cute Amelia: I'm so happy for them Jac: Awh, how sweet Jac: What about Jackie, has she been dating? Isabelle: She never tells me anything Isabelle: she says she's too busy working Amelia: Jackie doesn't need a man Isabelle: You sound just like her! Amelia: cut me deeper, Is 💔 Isabelle: sorry, you do though Isabelle: do you listen to the same female empowerment spotify playlist? Amelia: link me, I'd probably I'd be into it Isabelle: [does, imagine those single lady tunes lmao] Amelia: 😂 Amelia: this could save my life when I hate the 🎭🩰 Isabelle: no, no, take this Isabelle: [some dance sexy sassy playlist she's listening to] Amelia: you should send that one to Erin Amelia: save the party too Isabelle: Good idea Isabelle: [some cringy tiktok moment of her dancing, Isabelle stop] Amelia: [a video of amelia dancing amazingly at some party or other recently that Isabelle had to go home early from so she missed it, cos we gotta remind the lurking bae who we are] Isabelle: 🤯🤯🤯🤯 YOU'RE SO GOOD Isabelle: you should post! you'd get so many likes Amelia: I was so drunk, that's all Savannah: I can't believe that's you! Amelia: 🤔 am I flattered or offended Isabelle: Meels has always been a good dancer Isabelle: you should teach me Amelia: we can start tonight if it won't make Tom rage that he isn't teaching you something Isabelle: it's for his benefit Isabelle: so many lads are gonna be 😍 at you Amelia: they'll be looking at you if I do it right Isabelle: I'm fine with that 😋 Amelia: me too Jac: [some message between Ty and this Tom with some form of insider info they've made him get lol like you're welcome Isabelle but you also owe us now] Amelia: I'm seriously not understanding why you like him, Is Isabelle: 😲 OMG OMG Isabelle: it is so useful having a boy on our team Isabelle: thank you Ty, ahhhhhhh Isabelle: [pictures of him like hello] Savannah: We all want you to be happy Isabelle: 🥺🥺 awwwww Savannah: did you narrow down your outfit picks yet? Isabelle: no, I'm making toasties Isabelle: mum said I have to line my stomach 🙄 Jac: I hope that doesn't make a reappearance later Amelia: Erin's 🏠 is lovely, try not to redecorate it for her Amelia: can I stay over at yours, Is? Amelia: my parents will be all 😍🥰😘 Isabelle: 🤢🤢🤢 Isabelle: You can Isabelle: mum's on nights so she'll be gone and we won't have to worry about waking her up Amelia: if Tom's staying too, tell me now because that's as 🤢 Isabelle: Amelia! Amelia: I don't want to see or hear it, sorry Isabelle: he won't be staying, oh my gosh Amelia: okay Isabelle: I'm not a slag Isabelle: that's just what Kane put about when I dumped him for two-timing me Amelia: until I shut him up Isabelle: Ha, that was funny Isabelle: I thought he was gonna cry Amelia: he probably did when he went home Jac: 👏 Amelia: I should probably go get 🎭🩰 ready Amelia: 😣 this 👗 though Amelia: I'm going to look like I belong on Pam's 🚽 to hide her 🧻 Jac: 😏 Jac: it's not like you can wear your grass-stained skirt Amelia: It's long gone Jac: Shame Amelia: yeah, I liked it Jac: and Is had a good time in it Jac: fond memories Amelia: I'm sorry, okay? Jac: ... Jac: What? Amelia: for the 'third degree' earlier Jac: Oh, right Jac: well thanks for apologising, that's mature of you Amelia: I can be, sometimes Jac: I wouldn't suggest otherwise Amelia: I just had no idea you liked any of Ty's friends Jac: It's not like a thing, is all Jac: I'm not like in love with the boy Jac: you'd know if it was serious Amelia: would I? Jac: Obviously Jac: don't be silly Amelia: I have to go, I wouldn't have time to be silly even if you wanted me to Jac: Make sure your mum has a good time then ❤ Amelia: she will, I've booked a dinner reservation and everything Savannah: That's so cute! I feel like I should be a better daughter starting today Jac: Same Jac: putting us all to shame Isabelle: I only got my mum a necklace from the market for her birthday Isabelle: and it made her neck go green 😩 Amelia: she's been annoying me less lately Amelia: actually being helpful Isabelle: 🥳🥳🥳 Amelia: I didn't realise she was good for advice AND gossip Jac: You know you can talk to us too, right Isabelle: ^^ We're your best friends forever Amelia: it's nothing, I thought I liked someone too but I got it wrong Isabelle: but you never like ANYONE Isabelle: no offence Amelia: none taken Isabelle: you'll find someone Meels 😙 Amelia: maybe Amelia: maybe not Isabelle: Of course you will, you're lovely! Isabelle: right girls Jac: But she can take as much time as she likes, Is Savannah: Ty has so many amazing friends when you are ready, but there's no rush Amelia: Thanks Sav, but they're not my type Jac: I hate to think of your mum waiting on her birthday Jac: you don't wanna be late because Is still hasn't picked an outfit Amelia: don't worry, I'm going Isabelle: See you at Erin's 💖 Jac: Later 👋 Amelia: yeah x 2

[hot-wiings]

Send In Or Comment A Prompt Suggestion You'd Like To Be Added.

001. "You're really soft."

002. "You smell nice."

003. "I'm here for my daily fix of hugs and kisses."

004. "Is it possible to love too much?"

005. "I don't wanna get up. You're comfy."

006. "I will always be there to protect you."

007. "I'm cold. Come closer."

008. "I love you a lot, but please stop trying to cook me dinner, you suck.”

009. "The stars look especially lovely tonight."

010. "I've never seen such gorgeous eyes before."

011. "May I have this dance?"

012. "I can't stop thinking about you."

013. "All I want is you."

014. "I could never leave you, I love you too much!"

015. "I want to hear you sing."

016. "I don't think anyone could ever be as lovely as you."

017. "You look incredible in that."

018. "He/She's quite stunning, isn't he/she?"

019. "Sometimes I just can't control myself when I'm around you."

020. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

021. "I think I'm in love."

022. "I’d like it if you stayed.

023. "People are jerks, but not you."

024. "I'll share the blankets with you."

025. "I have never felt this way about anyone."

026. "I want this to never end..."

027. "Can I kiss you?"

028. "I waxed the floors, grab your fluffy socks."

029. "Who changed the thermostat settings? I’m freezing to death."

030. "Can we just watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch?"

031. "You can put your cold feet on me."

032. "Your stray red item turned my whites pink."

033. "A thunderstorm is rolling through town and you’re scared of lightning/thunder so I’ll protect you."

034. "There was a power outage and now we have to eat dinner by candlelight."

035. "Rock Paper Scissors to see who has to go talk to the neighbors upstairs for being too loud."

036. "Our AC is out and it’s the middle of the summer."

037. "You found me crying on the kitchen floor in the middle of the night surrounded by a shattered jelly jar."

038. "My parents are coming over in ten minutes so please put some clothes on"

039. "IF YOU USE UP ALL THE HOT WATER ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO BAN YOU TO THE COUCH FOR A MONTH."

040. "We’re watching Toy Story 3 and we can’t stop crying."

041. "I caught the bouquet"

042. "My ex just invited me to their wedding and I need you to be my date so it doesn’t look like I’ve spent the last few years failing to get over them."

043. "We accidentally got married in Vegas. Oops?"

044. "I’m really drunk, please help me get safely out of the way so I don’t ruin our friend’s wedding."

045. "I planned out this super romantic proposal and you just ruined it by beating me to whole proposing thing."

046. "I wasn’t planning on asking you, but it appeared to me that life is short. Will you marry me?"

047. "If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life."

048. "Do you take this man/woman to be your lawfully wedded husband/wife?"

049. "May I have this dance, wife/husband? "

050. "You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’m so happy I can finally call you my wife/husband."

051. "I jokingly told you that the only way I’d marry you was if you did this weird outlandish thing, and you actually did it, and I’m kind of charmed."

052. "This is probably a bad time, but marry me?"

053. "We’ve become the clingy newlyweds you always complained about. "

054. "Your ‘miracle hangover cure’ couldn’t possibly beat mine."

055. "I know you haven’t had the best experience with dogs in the past but look at its face. Please, please can we keep it?"

056. "I wanted to surprise you for our anniversary, but everything that could go wrong did go wrong."

057. "I beat you at Mario Kart and now you're banishing me to the couch for the night?”

058. "I surprised you with tickets to see our favorite band… WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU SURPRISED ME WITH TICKETS TO SEE THEM TOO?"

059. "Oh! Hey! Could you come and taste this to see if it's okay?"

060. "We’re arguing over book versus movie."

061. "‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo.' This bitch is about to get recked."

062. "We’ve been celebrating our wedding anniversary on the wrong day for the past nine years."

063. "You had a business trip and I missed you so much that I kind of tore up the house in your absence like a dog with separation anxiety... Sorry?"

064. "We both have nowhere else to be so we get to spend our rare day off at home."

065. "I bet it’s a girl/boy."

066. "Do you think it’s possible that I… Might be Pregnant?"

067. "I thought I was pregnant but the test must have been wrong. I’m not."

068. "You’re lucky I’m pregnant!"

069. "Can you help me up, your child is pretty heavy."

070. "I could really use a foot rub right now."

071. "Your dad is really excited to meet you soon, it’s driving me crazy."

072. "Do you wanna know the sex of the baby?"

073. "The baby’s kicks are keeping me up at night."

074. "Did you feel that?"

075. "I can’t fit into my favorite dress anymore."

076. "OH MY GOD I’M GOING INTO LABOR. WHAT DO WE DO NOW?!'

077. "I can’t be pregnant… Or... OH MY GOD!"

078. "I think you might be pregnant.”

079. "It’s 2 am. You’re craving cake. We’re both up anyway so let’s bake in our underwear."

080. "Shh… They’re asleep."

081. "I think someone had a little accident with the finger paint."

082. "Mondays are your diaper days."

083. "Our kid is totally the one who wanted to build a pillow fort, not me."

084. "I told you we should have just gotten that German Shepherd puppy."

085. "Come on now, I think you’re being too harsh. He/she’s just a kid. Remember all of the stupid things we used to do when we were their age?"

086. "So, how should we break the news that they’re going to have a new baby brother or sister?"

087. "I think we should have another."

088. "Why wasn’t I invited to your wedding?"

089. "Okay fine, one more story, but then you really have to go to bed."

090. "They grow up so fast."

[ashtonsunshine]

Carmo's Paris Adventures - Day 1

The Birthday

I woke up at three in the morning to catch the flight at 6h15. That was a journey in on itself, let me tell you. Seeing the city dark and asleep being shun by the sparkling moonlight was worth it.

We arrived to the airport, went through security in five minutes but ended up waiting for the flight for 45. When we got on the airplane, I sat on my seat and next to me sat a French man. He said Bonjour, I said Bonjour, he went to sleep. On the seat in front of me, though, sat a hot blond guy who was not-French. Universe, why didn't you sit the not-French hot blond guy next to me?

An hour went by with me watching the sun rise in the horizon between the massive white clouds (and also bored as fuck because my phone was off). Heaven, I tell you. I was kind of uncomfortable so I push my backpack, which was under the seat in front of me, aside a bit so I could strech my legs. Not five minutes went by when I hear a clunk and feel something fall on my feet. It was the not-French hot blond guy's phone. I picked it up, poked him in the arm and handed it to him. He looked back at me and said Thank you. in the most sleepy and seat voice. Again, universe, what the hell were you thinking, mate?

The flight ended 25 minutes earlier, thank god! I was so fucking bored. My imagination was too sleepy to go any further than the Eiffel Tower at night. Guess what was the first thing I saw when I entered the airport building? Yep, a informative notice on how to act in case of a terror attack. Guess what was the second thing I saw? Yep, two solders armed to the teeth. Machine guns and all. I never saw a gun so close to me in my life. Fucking terrifying.

Then I saw my dad. The first thing he said was happy birthday and hugged me. I love him! We all went for a walk in the local city Beauvais and the first thing we went to visit was... Drum roll, please! A fucking church. Here's a picture.

It is a cathedral that is on the brink of falling on itself. They had to put wood and steel beams to hold the pillars and walls in place. It didn't have much to see other than a masterpiece of a clock and two wall pieces in memory of the dead in The Great War. After that, we went to the local market and bought lettuce and a cucumber. A guy selling chorizo looked at me twice in.... wonder is too much a strong word... curiosity, I might say.

After a long car drive through three-lane municipal roads (I've never seen three-lane municipal roads. We only have one-lane ones where I live.), and seeing a Tesla, two Porsches and two Ferraris, we went to the supermarket. Huge supermarket. The isles were never-ending and so wide. So many cheeses, but none was Flamengo... I had to go with Edam... This was when the fighting started, and it got worse once we arrived to my dad's place.

My dad opened the door, we stepped in and my mother started being herself and putting defects on everything: the curtains, the sink, the table, the windows, the stove, you name it. I was feeling sick from the allergies and seeing all this fighting and seeing my dad's place.... It was too much. All I wanted was to cry, and I did. I went to the bathroom and let it out for like five minutes. My dad works so hard and he finally has his own place to live in and finds stuff for free for his flat, HIS flat, HIS FLAT, and my mother just... does that and tries to control the situation... I told them to shut up and that I was tired of hearing them but guess what? They didn't.

I don't know, man, like, when I was in the bathroom I had this sudden realization that I'm poor; that being poor is working your whole life to find yourself living in a studio with furniture and electronics you find in the bin; that being poor is working your whole life and not being able to decorate your space properly and in peace; that being poor is paying 530€ a month for this small space and sleeping on a foldable bed; that being poor is not living, it's, as we say here, ir-se indo; and that I'm trapped in it. What's a birthday without a depressive existential crises, eh?

The worst thing is that I forgot how the French television worked, so I couldn't even distract myself by watching something because every. single. thing. is dubbed. Why, y'all? Why? Don't you know that subtitles are an option? I just wanted a distraction and since the internet was not an option, TV was all that was left, but that was also not working for me.

My dad then tells me I have to work. I have to find a job and work, that if I and my sister were to move here, we could live in a studio like this together so that we could start making money. It only made me feel worse. I'm terrified of the job world but that's a whole different story that I'm not getting into right now because I'm already sad enough. I know his intentions are good because he actually tries to talk to me instead of yelling but... yeah... I didn't need that topic brought up then and there.

We then went on a walk around a lake. This lake.

My mother kept shoving her phone my way to take a picture. I kept telling her I didn't want her her take my picture and she kept on insisting and I kept on saying no, so then she started getting mad at me. My dad defended me, bless him! We walked for a bit, passed by those houses you see in the distance. Those, my friends, are floating houses. In one of them there was this beautiful black dog that made me smile. Bless its puppy soul! I was just waking mindlessly, trying to focus my efforts on trying to breathe and to not think. I just walked, with my body and spirit functioning at half speed, saying yes to whatever words my parents spoke my way. We kept walking through the paths, between the wild vegetation with the lake by our right and the river by our left.

After a while we started seeing these huge houses on the other side of the river bank. Summer houses. Look at this one. It's so pretty.

And we kept on walking until we finished circling the lake.

I was ready to just throw myself onto the yet unfolded bed but we forgot to buy rice, butter and other things, and my mother insisted on me going to the pharmacy to buy something for my nose so we went to the supermarket, again.

I walked into the pharmacy with a speech in mind to say to the pharmacist because, ya know, French, but I totally choked when I got there. I managed to say my My nose is closed and my eyes... but then I forgot the word for itchy, like a fucking moron. Irritação = irritation = irritation! I'm a fucking idiot 🤦‍♀️. Then, she was explaining the three types of meds she had for different kinds of allergies and you guys will never know frustration until you understand what someone's telling you in a foreign language perfectly but you cannot, for the love of god, utter a simple sentence back. I told the pharmacist The [itchyness] of the eyes is a consequence of the clogged nose. and, thank the universe, she understood what I was trying to say and gave me a spray for the nose. I even tried to speak in English with her but all I got back was dead silence. How are you a pharmacist and not know basic English...? *sigh*

Now, I'm home, just had dinner and am about to be sang Happy Birthday to. I chose an eclair birthday cake and you guys know damn well why.

If you read all of this, first of all, I'm so sorry for the emotional rollercoaster, and second of all, thank you, I love you. 😚💛

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

COTW errr... I've forgotten my chapter number, and send help

Unlike his brothers, Eli Abel Ackerman only spent a week in hospital before they were allowed to bring him home. The tiny boy was so much more quiet than Viren had been, preferring to sleep rather than cry. Viren wasn't convinced about it all, but he was incredibly curious over the baby boy's every move. Eren had a rougher deal with things. Having to have surgery on his tearing again, though this time they knew better than to believe the scans, his poor husband was catheter and bed bound for a week, Each daily hospital visit usually resulted in finding Eren trying to escape down to visit Rei. When Eren was finally allowed to come home, his mate was listless unless he was with Eli or with Viren. As happy as Eren was to have Eli home, Levi knew he missed Rei deeply, and he missed being able to lift and carry Viren around. His omega didn't want to nest, and he'd found the bathroom mirror shattered on Eren's third day home. Eren crying on the floor, struggling with his changed body, and his still swollen belly. His mate now preferring to hide himself away in overly large clothes that left him looking sickly. He didn't understand how Eren could feel so guilty for not carrying to full term. Being a twin, their son was smaller, but he was healthy. Surprisingly so... not that they told Eren that. Upset over missing his phone call, Hanji had over shopped for them. Bringing Anna with her, the pair were laden with gifts as Levi opened the door to their "surprise" visit. Hanji had messaged ahead to ask if it was alright to visit, and Levi figured Eren could probably use the distraction of a curious Anna. Only, they'd picked probably the worst time to actually appear. Eren was sleeping in the corner of the sofa with Eli in his arms, completely dead to the world as Hanji snapped a few photos. Sending Viren and Anna to play, he was ushered into his own kitchen as Hanji took over the bench "How is he?" "Getting there... wait... is that food?" "Don't look at me like that. It's all microwave meals from work. I thought you two wouldn't really feel like cooking" "You didn't cook. You had no hand in cooking these, right?" "No. They're from the cafeteria. And you don't get out of it that easily" "Thank you" Hanji stared at him as if he'd grown a second head "Don't give me that. Actually, things aren't great. He wants to bring Rei home, and you know what he gets like when he isn't allowed to do anything" "I thought having one of them home would help..." "Yeah. He adores Eli, but not being able to get down low enough for bath time, or being able to get up for midnight feeds has him down" "Have you talked?" "A little. He's feeling guilty over being a parent again, and because "he doesn't look sexy"" "He's got three kids and arse to die for. He's the envy of every woman ever" "Yeah. It's just going to take some time to figure out this three pup thing" "Well. I've brought cake. And Anna picked out a few small things, they're in that bag on the table. How's Viren liking his new role?" "He's not completely sure about this baby thing. The first time Eli really cried, he did too" "That's precious" "Yeah. He kept crying for a full hour after Eli did" "That's not so precious..." "No. That's another thing Eren's worked up over. Giving birth and scaring Viren" "He needs to give himself a break" "Hanji. Seriously. When have you seen Eren give himself a break?" "I know. Do you have a date for when Rei can come home?" "The 5th" "See. It's not that much longer" "No. It's just exhausting Eren more than he wants to admit. The daily trips in, especially when his back's so tender" "He's been..." "Yes. He's been monitoring it, and his caesarean site. I'm not allowed to look" "He'll come round" "It's just trying to find the balance in the mean time. What other news do you bring from the outside world?" "The trial's still going, but Erwin's been talking to Floch and the jury is getting pretty impatient about the whole thing. Nick's case has started to fall apart, especially after the things Eren said were leaked by the press. Don't worry, they didn't mention Eren's name, but the public aren't happy at all with our boy Nick" "He might be yours, but he's got nothing to do with me" "Ew. No. That came out wrong" "You think?" "What about you? What are you going to do?" "I have a few ideas. But they all require more money and more capital than we have" "Does that mean you and Eren are finally going to be buying a house?" "No. No. I mean, I want to. But he's not ready yet" "I still don't think I'll ever understand why not..." "He told me. It's his past. The trial stirred up a lot and the foster house really hasn't..." Levi broke his sentence with a shake of his head. That was Eren's secret. He shouldn't be blabbing to Hanji "He's not ready yet" "This place is so small... but I guess it can't be helped. I still can't believe you had another baby without me" "If you'd answered your phone..." "I was in surgery" "Well the stains on the floor if you really want to take a look" "No. I'm fine. I'd love cuddles though" "You have to get past Eren. Eli might love his sleep, but when he's in Eren's arms, he drifts right off" "He knows his mumma. Oh. I got you guys formula too... the tins are down in the car. You know, because Rei might find Eren's nipple hard to take" "Don't remind him of that. And don't mention the trial either. He's already asked about it" "Why not just tell him?" "Because I don't want Nick seeing my newborn son" "He's going to want to be there when the jury delivers its verdict" "And when the time comes, I'll take him. Until then, we're trying to keep this place quiet and stress free" "It'd be a lot less stress free if you two learned how to whisper" Hanji giggled "Sorry, Eren. You know I have a big mouth. How are you, my Lovely?" "Sleepy... cranky, bleedy... ugh" "The joys of birth. How's little Eli?" "He sleeps better than all of us combined" Ditching her unpacking, Hanji headed into the living area. Levi taking over, though paying more attention to the pair in the living room than what he was doing "Look at him. He looks just like Viren did" "Mmm... He's adorable... he's got my brown hair though" "There's nothing wrong with your hair!" Eren huffed "It needs a wash, but Levi won't let me" "He's just worried for you. Is everything down there...?" "A mess. Yeah. Pretty much. Do you want to hold him? I need to go to the bathroom" Hanji naturally pounced at the chance "Of course I do. Look at you, Eli... Hey baby, I'm your Aunty Hanji" Finishing placing everything away, Levi was of with the fairies, came back down when he realised Hanji was trying to talk to him "What?" "Eren called your name" Jogging through the living area, Levi paused at the recliner "Will you be ok with Eli?" "Perfectly fine" Continuing on, Levi let himself into the bathroom. Eren was sitting on the edge of the bath, wiping his face. His breathing starting to grow erratic as if he was panicking "What's wrong, Bright Eyes?" "I... don't know..." Breaking down, Levi moved to Eren's side, pulling his husband to him. Ignoring Eren not having wanted to be touched. Rubbing his back, he pressed three kisses to the top of Eren's head "What are you feeling?" "Scared... I... I was fine. But then I just got scared" "I'm here. You're ok. I've got you, Eren" "I don't know why I am" "You're emotions are a bit of mess right now, but it's ok. It's just you, me, Hanji and the kids" "I know... but I don't know why I'm scared" "Was it the blood? I can smell it in the air" "It's heavy, but... I don't think so. As soon as I was done washing my hands, I couldn't move towards the door" "It's ok... I've got you, now" "I hate this... I'm back to hating me... I feel like I'm back at step one again, and I don't know why" "Baby, you're ok. Your body is adjusting from giving birth. Your hormones are all over the place and you've been off since you had to come home. I know you. You're punishing yourself for things that aren't your fault" "Why can't I let myself be happy?" "Because you care way too much about everything" "I hate this, Lee. I hate this..." "I know you do... I know" "I feel so sick and tired. But when I fall asleep, I wake up panicking, because I don't have my pups..." "Is that why you panicked? Because Hanji's here? She and Anna brought some food around. I thought you might like to see Anna" "I do. I did. I don't know. She's... she's not him" "And I'm not saying she is. But she does love you. We all love you, baby" Eren sniffled "I'm so sick of this. I felt good when I was pregnant, and now I feel empty... Eli's out of hospital before Rei, and that feels wrong. It feels wrong that they were born nearly 4 weeks apart... it feels wrong that he isn't here" "I know, but we'll bring him home real soon" "What... what if he's an omega? He's already had such a hard start to life. What if he presents as an omega?" "Then we protect him. He love him and we guide him, and we protect him" "Will that be enough? I don't want him to suffer. I don't want any of them to suffer" "Eren, there's time between now and then. Things could change" "People think things change, but do they really? Omegas are still treated horribly, and I can't stop thinking about what Nick said. Where do omegas go now?" "There are legal shelters to help. Nick was so far off the mark with his stupid church, that he wasn't even on the planet anymore. Even if all of our sons present as omegas, I will personally kill anyone who touches them" "All I want is for them to be happy" "I know. But can you try and do me a favour?" "W-what?" "Don't get so caught up in a future that might not even be. Nick's trial has raised so many issues. Even if all you did was open the eyes to everyone in the courtroom, they're going to think twice about their own actions. They might even be the change the world needs" Eren laughed sadly "I'm sorry. I can't stop all these things in my head" "I know. Do you want to head back out to the living room? Cuddle with Eli some more?" "That'd be nice... You did such a good job" "You're the one who birthed him" "Without drugs" "No, Eren. No drugs... I was scared shitless" "So was I. I still feel so bad that I put you through it" "I blame the idiot that caused the accident and blocked up traffic" "Not the idiot omega?" "You are not an idiot. Do you remember how proud I was at the courthouse?" "I remember the bathroom" "And you say I'm the pervert... my point is. Times that by a hundred and you still aren't close to how proud I am of you for birthing our three amazing sons" "That's... a lot" "That must mean I'm really proud of you..." "Maths isn't my strong point" "You passed your high school equivalency. I know you can multiply with the best of them" "Did you just..." He hadn't intentionally "Maybe. Come on, the bath isn't the comfiest seat, and you've got nothing to be scared of" * Whatever was haunting Eren, didn't improve magically, no matter how much he hoped. He found his husband in their wardrobe with no memory of how he got there, and smelling of fear. Viren had said they were playing hide and seek while Eli slept, his son coming to find him when he couldn't find mummy. Eren really didn't seem to know what set him off though. Levi had a sneaking suspicion it was post-partum depression rearing its ugly head again, especially coupled with Eren's deep feelings of guilt over Rei being in hospital. He'd wanted to make an appointment with Krista, but when he'd called through to make an appointment, the woman's answering service informed him she would be on break until the first of June. He could call on her mobile, but it felt rude to disturb her, given how hard her line of work was, and how desperately she deserved a break. He could make an appointment with Eren's doctor, but they'd more than likely suggest medication, and Eren would dig his heels in over not being able to breast feed. Eli had no problem taking Eren's nipple when offered, suckling greedily in a way that rivalled Levi... Eren even making the comparison, while drugged up and in front of Erwin and Mike. With a glare, the pair had been silenced, but Levi knew the day would come and they would both give him shit of taking pleasure in every part of Eren. Waking to find their bed devoid of Eren, Levi grumbled to himself. His husband had fallen asleep on the sofa with Eli. When he'd gone searching, he'd found Titan sleeping along the side of Eren's leg, while Eli was sleeping on Eren's chest, to skin to skin. As cute as it was, Eren would have been spending the next few days paying for it given the angle of neck. Levi could swear he'd only just gotten Eren into bed... Dragging himself up, he skipped putting a shirt on. Walking out their bedroom, he didn't expect to see Eren talking away on the phone, with Eli on his shoulder. Catching sight of his, his husband rushed to end the call. The smile on his face hardly casual or guilt free "Who was that?" "Just... I was calling to see if Rei was ok..." "Eren..." "I know! Ok. I know. I didn't need to call because we're going to see him later" "You don't need to be defensive. I was going to ask how he was, and if you managed to get some more sleep"

[izupie]

The Present I've Always Wanted

By Nahterpie

Summary:  Keith gets a break from Marmora missions when Kolivan sets up a meeting with Shiro at the Castle of Lions, and he gets one precious night at home again. Coincidentally that night also happens to be the night of his birthday. Keith is entirely disillusioned with birthdays, but if there was one thing he could say he would want he’d have to admit that it was a person. And that person just knocked on his bedroom door.  

Word Count: 2, 874

Genre: Klance Fluff  (So much fluff) (A sprinkle of angst) (some kissing)

AO3 Link: [xxXXxx]

Keith finally let his shoulders relax as the door to his room swished shut behind him, and he leaned on it heavily, letting out a long breath. It was nice; spending a night at home. Keith chuckled at the unexpected thought and closed his eyes with a small smile. Just when did the Castle of Lions become ‘home’ to him?

It’s not even like they’d been in the Castle all that long, but already he could feel the mix of relief and comfort in returning, and the sense of peace the familiarity gave him. It practically sang through his bones. He’d never had this kind of experience before; homes and families were for people with consistency in their lives. Not him. How could a small room in an alien ship be affecting him this strongly?

A knock on his door made Keith leap forward in surprise. He’d already caught up with the others when he’d arrived a little while ago, so he wasn’t sure why he would have any visitors now. He glanced at his bed longingly with tired eyes. Sleeping arrangements were obviously not a priority to the members of the Blade of Marmora, since Keith had regularly been sleeping on hard bunks for the two months he’d been gone, or even the floor if the other members were taking up the beds (he suspected it was his Galra/Human lineage that gave him a mixed response from the others, despite being a Paladin of Voltron). And that was only if they weren’t out in the field on a mission, as Kolivan then expected them to work without luxuries like sleep until the job was done.

In fact, he was probably the one at the door - changed his mind, and they were going to head back to his ship instead of staying the night.

The knock came again, and Keith finally said, “Yes?” though it came out a little sharper than he intended. The bedroom door swished open at his invitation. “Lance?” Keith blurted out, unsure if the surprise in his voice was because he had genuinely thought it was going to be Kolivan, or because of just how pleased he was to see Lance standing in the doorway.

“Hey.” Lance grinned as he entered the room, and oddly continued to face forwards as he backed into the control panel on the wall to close the door behind him, which made Keith notice that he was holding his hands awkwardly behind his back. Like he was hiding something. “Thought I’d come and see how our favourite rebel bad-boy is doing.” He continued breezily with a wink.

Keith scoffed and scowled. “Uh, pretty sure everyone in the Blades prefers the title ‘Freedom Fighters’ thanks.”

“Ooh, you’re ‘The Blades’ now?” Lance removed one of the hands from behind his back and wiggled his fingers in the air as he said ‘the blades’.

Keith tried hard to stop the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile. He really tried. But flirting with Lance always did something strange to the speed of his heart and the ridiculous butterflies in his stomach, and he always ended up smiling so much when they were together. “And don’t call me ‘bad-boy’, what are you from, the nineties?” He folded his arms in an attempt to offset the grin he knew he was wearing and Lance laughed in response.

“Hey, the nineties produced some excellent content my man.” He nodded. “See now you’ve made me wanna sing the Pokémon theme tune…”

“Don’t you dare,” Keith grumbled, his voice thick with humour and affection.

“I wanna be the very best,” Lance sang loudly, deliberately squawking off-key, “like no one ever wa- mphh-” Keith had closed the distance between them in a couple of swift strides and placed his gloved hand over Lance’s mouth. He could feel Lance’s smile under his hand, even through the thick glove.

“You are the actual worst.” Keith mumbled, staring straight up into bright blue eyes that were shining with a wicked mischief.

After being away for two months he had been a little bit worried that whatever had been happening between the two of them before he left might have diminished, or that the strength of the feelings he had for Lance was something he had exaggerated in his mind. But that didn’t seem to be the case at all. If anything, being apart had made his feelings that much stronger. It had been so great to see everyone again; Hunk had cried, Pidge gushed on excitedly all about her brother, Allura gave him a hug, hell so did Shiro, and Coran told him he’d saved him some memorabilia from ‘Voltron On Ice’ (which Keith had conveniently forgotten to bring up again before he’d gone to bed). But when he saw Lance he just hadn’t known what to do… No. That was a lie… He’d known what he wanted to do. But….

With considerable effort Keith pushed away his inner musings, and removed his hand from Lance’s mouth. Only then did he realise Lance hadn’t put up any kind of resistance because both his hands were still behind his back. Time to get to the bottom of this mystery. “So what’s behind your back anyway?” He continued in what he hoped was a steady voice.

Lance’s playful grin faded, and he cleared his throat a little while he looked up at the ceiling. “Uh…”

Keith raised an eyebrow.

“Well, we went back to the Space Mall- I don’t know if you managed to catch any of our shows? I was pretty great in them by the way. Though it turned out that Coran was under some kind of whacked out mind control thing the whole time-”

“What?” Keith managed through a bemused chuckle, barely keeping up with what Lance was saying, and not at all understanding how this was going to lead to what he was hiding.

“Yeah, it was as weird as it sounds.” Lance wrinkled his nose as if he couldn’t quite decide whether he found the memories funny or traumatic. Which Keith found adorable. Lance continued, unaware of the effect he was having on him, “So anyway, while we were at the Space Mall I thought I’d have another look around and I… I don’t know. I kind of missed you a lot,” he shifted and looked away and Keith’s chest constricted tightly. The Lance that everyone was so used to seeing; so self-assured and smooth talking, was just one of his layers, but Keith knew that beneath all that bravado was a core full of doubt and uncertainty, and he often wondered if he was one of the only people to have seen this vulnerable side to him. “And this reminded me of you.” Lance finished quietly, pushing his hands forward.

A long, thin red box was pushed towards Keith, tied up with a lopsided blue ribbon.

At first, he just stared at the package, unable to think of what to say, so Lance filled the awkward silence, “We’d been making a load of Gak from our performances - Shiro said we shouldn’t have kept the money, but if they’re practically throwing it at us it would have been rude to refuse,” he shrugged, “and the Unilu I bought it from said he’d do me a special price because I was one of the performers. It seemed like something you’d like.”

Keith wordlessly took the box from Lance and pulled the ribbon loose, then opened the lid to reveal a thick, slightly curved knife with a black handle. He recognised it instantly from the last time they’d gone to the Space Mall together.

“I saw him cut up rocks and whole melons and cool junk like that.” Lance, now with his hands free, made wide chopping motions with his hands in the air, adding his own whooshing sound effect with each swing. But Keith still hadn’t said anything, and he was still just looking at the package, so Lance awkwardly shoved his hands in his pockets. “But it’s fine if you don’t want it; because I already know you have a knife, and yours is like a magic-Galra-knife and everything… Now that I think about it, this was kind of a lame gift, I’m usually way better at the whole gift giving thing,” he laughed, but there was no humour in it.

“What, Lance no, I… I really love it,” Keith choked out, “I can’t believe you got something like this for me. I… Don’t even know what to say… I just really didn’t expect this. How did you know it was my birthday?”

“Your birth…. Woah. No no no. Hold the phone. It’s your birthday? As in, today?” Lance sputtered.

“You didn’t know?” Keith’s eyes widened in his genuine surprise.

“Of course not!” Lance threw his hands in the air.

“So what was the present for?” Keith was so sure he’d never told anyone about his birthday, and that was what had shocked him the most; that somehow Lance had found out. He hadn’t had a present on his birthday in so many years, and yet there one suddenly was, and he just couldn’t even process it. He’d realised it was his birthday of course, something like that wasn’t easy to completely forget, but it went to the back of his mind every year and he never really gave it much thought.

Lance’s voice was high in indignation, his hands still in the air, “If I’d have known it was your birthday I’d have got you much more than this - and cake! Hunk would have baked you a cake. We’d have all celebrated it with you! I can’t believe you didn’t tell anyone it was your birthday.”

Keith walked across the room and silently placed his present down on the side table next to his door, his back now to Lance.

“Because,” he sighed, not turning around, “I don’t want it to be this big special day I build up in my mind, and then be let down again. It’s no different to any other day, so why should I or anyone else treat it differently.” He folded his arms tight over his chest.

“Keith….” Lance whispered. “Don’t… shut yourself off from everyone. I don’t know who hurt you in the past,” there was a sharp edge to his voice that Keith hadn’t heard before, “but they were complete and utter quiznaking assholes. And you know what, I don’t even care who I’ve insulted, because they hurt you and made you have this weird idea that you can’t have a great day that’s all about you, and that’s just… that’s just wrong.”

“It’s just a birthday Lance. It’s okay, I came to terms with it a long time ago - they don’t mean anything.” Keith snapped, wishing he didn’t get angry when he got emotional, and blinking rapidly to clear his blurry vision. There was no way he was turning around now. He didn’t want Lance to see him cry like an idiot.

“No. No it’s not okay - this is your day. You deserve a day Keith. You deserve all the days.”

Keith jumped as he felt arms snake around his middle just under his folded arms, and tensed all over as his body was pulled so that his back was pressed firmly to Lance’s front. His skin burned under his tight Blades suit where Lance’s hands rested at the top of his stomach, and his hood was still up but he could feel Lance’s cheek resting on his head. Keith’s pulse was racing, but finally his body relaxed into the gentle embrace, and only then did he realise that the tears he’d been trying to blink away were sliding rapidly down his cheeks.

“I missed you so much. Even your mullet.” Lance’s voice was choked with emotion. Keith managed a shaky laugh at that as he furiously rubbed at his eyes. “I didn’t know when we’d see you again,” Lance continued softly, “and everything I saw reminded me of you. I tried flirting with all my fans after the shows because I thought that would help.” Keith felt his shrug through his back and shivered at the motion.

“Did it?” He asked honestly, a pang of jealousy joining the crazy-train of emotions racing through his heart.

“… No.” Lance’s grip tightened. “They weren’t you,” he mumbled into the back of Keith’s hood. “And then after the show at the Space Mall I managed to escape all the groupies and I saw that Unilu chopping up junk with that knife and I knew I had to get it for you.” Lance’s voice became sad, “You have to know I wouldn’t have let you down if you’d have told me it was your birthday, you could have had presents from everyone and a party and cake - I would have made your day special - we all would have. It doesn’t matter if you don’t consider yourself a Paladin of Voltron right now, because you are no matter what. You’re still my Team Leader.”

Lance pulled his hands away and stepped backwards so suddenly Keith felt as if the air had been knocked out of him. He heard Lance sniffing and he wiped away his own fresh tears too. This was not at all what he had been expecting tonight.

“Oh wow, I am being such a downer on your birthday!” Lance said through a stretch and a forced laugh. “And way too forward. You know what, we should just start again from me saying ‘it’s your birthday today?’, you can be grumpy about it and I’ll just say goodnight and lea-”

Keith wasn’t sure what had made him turn around and close the gap between them. But suddenly his hands were gripped either side of Lance’s face and he’d pushed their lips together with a force that almost hurt. Lance responded instantly, pulling down the hood on his suit and running his hands through his messy hair, sending sharp waves of pleasure down his spine and into the pit of his stomach. Their kiss was hungry, full of raw emotion and a release of tension that they’d been dancing around for far too long. He didn’t even realise they had moved until he felt his back hit the door, and let out a breath that was snatched by Lance through their frantic kisses. Their bodies pressed together firmly as Keith’s hands went from Lance’s face to his hips, pulling him even closer, as if there wasn’t an inch of himself that he didn’t want to not feel against the other.

Their frantic pace was impossible to hold for long though, and both boys eventually pulled back for air, gasping with a mixture of pleasure and want and love. And the need for oxygen.

Keith was still breathing heavily, most of Lance’s body still pressed against him, and he gazed hard into a sight he had always wanted to see; those ocean blue eyes filled with love looking back at him.

Lance smiled widely and laughed in a way Keith wanted to never stop hearing. “And I thought I was being forward. You just had to go one step further and one-up me didn’t you.”

Keith mirrored his expression and linked his fingers behind Lance’s neck. “It’s what I do best apparently,” he smirked, “and you were talking about leaving and I couldn’t have that.”

“Well, it is your birthday.” Lance agreed, voice husky.

But Keith’s smile faltered, “Lance, I still have to leave in the morning. I… I don’t think I’m ready to be a Paladin again yet. But… will you wait for me? It’s wrong for me to ask you that I know…”

“Keith. I’ve been waiting for you this whole time - ever since we were in the Garrison together. I can wait a little longer. I mean, there’s no promises that guys and girls won’t be throwing themselves at me, but I’m pretty sure I can keep them away if it’s for you,” Lance winked, but he shifted his hips and Keith closed his eyes at the unexpected pleasure it buzzed through his skin. There were perks to a skin-tight suit beyond combat after all.

“And thanks,” Keith said quietly, trying to regain composure, “for the present. And for trying to restore my faith in birthdays. That’s the first birthday present I’ve gotten in a long time.” It was probably the best birthday he’d ever had in all honesty, and he was so grateful for it. This was something he had never even dreamed would happen, and it was almost dizzying to believe that his feelings were reciprocated.

“Oh no, the knife wasn’t your birthday present.” Lance shook his head and Keith noticed a red hue to the tips of his ears. He was glad he wasn’t the only one feeling a little awkward and embarrassed about all this, even though it felt so right and good.

“No?” Keith almost gasped, as Lance rocked his hips again, putting a hand tenderly under Keith’s chin to tilt his head back and bring their lips so close he could feel his breath on them as he spoke, until the words were almost lost in another kiss.

“Happy Birthday.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Ava

Grace: I'm here in your postcode so like hmu if you need help Grace: after being a babysitter FOREVER kids crafts are TOTALLY my thing Ava: There's glitter on everything Ava: I'm going to have to pay to get their house professionally cleaned after this, I swear Grace: before you do I have to bring the boy over & 'accidentally' cover him Grace: cos he literally will not decide on a costume Ava: Yeah, he's crap at costumes Ava: I don't think I've even seen him in the obligatory devil horns Ava: mess up the hair, probably Grace: I mean, if my hair ever looked that good that'd be so relatable Grace: 😍😍 Ava: n'awh 😏 Ava: I'm glad someone appreciates the effort he goes to with the bleach Ava: god knows what I'm going to wear, the standard Halloween ideas aren't really applicable for a kid's birthday Grace: I love him but I hate him Grace: his eyelashes are better than mine as well Grace: right?! if his mum sees me in a lbd & cat ears she'll hate me more than she already does Grace: we could do joint costumes of a 🔪 in our backs though 🙄😂 Ava: What's she like? Grace: so rude Grace: she NEVER talks to me but the judgement is REAL 👀🔪 Grace: poor & a reformed hoe!? not in her house, honey Ava: and you didn't even homewreck her son's marriage so Ava: this is gonna be fun Grace: but I will if she tries to marry him off to some beautiful, rich, virgin or whatever Ava: I don't think they're that old school 😂 Ava: only if he managed to get a virgin pregnant Grace: don't even Grace: it's literally the one thing that would maybe score me points with her & I can't talk about it Ava: as satisfying as it'd be to throw out when she's being the most judgmental Ava: not worth it Ava: but you are gonna come, right? Ava: James wasn't sure Grace: yeah, I'm not trying to have a breakdown at her dining table soooooo Grace: of course we are, he practically begged me onto a flight to not have to go alone Grace: his sister has like 5 kids & Teddy can't deal with any of them Grace: what happens when you 👰👴 I guess Ava: Yeah Ava: I heard Ava: I just want them to have a good time Ava: James and the kids Grace: they will Grace: you've done amazing so far setting it all up Ava: there's nothing I can do to jazz up the guestlist Ava: it's bad enough that she might show but we can't plan for it Grace: Teddy thinks she will & Jay will have a meltdown, that's why he's totally dreading it Ava: I don't think she will Grace: idk but he's convinced Grace: he says she LOVES to make an entrance & bring drama Ava: Potentially Ava: I think she doesn't care enough about the kids, but that she doesn't intentionally want to hurt them Ava: just James Ava: there are better ways, after all, her parents are going to be there, they'd stop her before she could really do anything Grace: 🤞🏽 cos that does make sense Grace: & we all want you to be right, no offense to the bae Ava: If she's going to come back, she will, it'll have to be faced Ava: whether we're wearing cat ears or not Grace: yeah but like a 👶🎂 is not it Grace: even she must know that Ava: None of this is Grace: how's James? Ava: he's doing good Ava: considering Ava: it's a lot Grace: mhmm Grace: I'm avoiding Rio & Buster rn for a reason Ava: Yeah, he's mad at me Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: don't even worry he's mad at everyone for everything Grace: except Ri, duh Grace: like you said, it's a lot Ava: well it's kind of special circumstances Ava: he thinks I've picked a side Grace: cos it's that simple Grace: he's so extra & that's coming from me Ava: Maybe it is Grace: he wishes it was Grace: but it's not you & James vs him & Ri Ava: It's not that Ava: I just Ava: I don't think I agree with what he wants Grace: you want Jay to stay where she is Ava: Yes Ava: I think he's only thinking about himself Grace: well yeah, when isn't he? Ava: It's different Ava: it's two lives he could ruin Ava: three, Mattie too Grace: he's always done exactly what he wants however many lives it could ruin Grace: literally all you can do is keep trying to get through to him Ava: Yeah, that'll work Ava: like you said, he'll do what he wants Ava: but James won't just let her go, and if it goes to court, how has he proved he's a decent father? Ava: he's not acknowledged her, the possibility Ava: it wouldn't be as cut and dry as he wants it to be Grace: nothing is ever that cut & dry but ugh try telling Buster or Ri that Ava: Exactly Ava: isn't having Venus when they shouldn't enough Grace: don't even get me started Grace: it's such a mess Ava: it isn;t fair Ava: James raised her, stepped up Ava: had to deal with Chloe Ava: no one has the right to take her away now Grace: exactly Grace: they love each other Grace: you can't just break that bond like it doesn't exist Ava: for one that doesn't Ava: I don't want to pick sides, I love him, he's my brother Ava: but I can't say I'm okay with it right now, when I'm not Grace: he's being a selfish idiot rn though, you can say it to me, babes Grace: she's got a whole family here Ava: I know it's fucked, that Chloe told him he wasn't the dad Ava: but I can't get over that she told him he was Ava: you don't just Ava: why did he trust her the second time and not the first Ava: how could that be for anything but selfish reasons Grace: it's literally cos he wanted to Grace: & he's totally fixated on the wrong things, what does blood matter anyway? Grace: Billie's my sister not any one of the kids my dad had scattered across Dublin Ava: Maybe Rio said she'd leave him? Ava: but still, then he made his choice Ava: ugh Ava: I hate it Grace: me too Grace: everything is so Grace: fucked Grace: always Ava: how was your birthday anyway Ava: did you and Teddy do something nice? Grace: he did spoil me cos he knows my birthday is the literal worst & I tried not to brag TOO hard on socials Ava: Good Ava: you're only 16 once Grace: it's so weird Grace: being her age Ava: I thought about that Ava: on her birthday Ava: that she'd have only been 20 Ava: it seems so long ago, somehow Grace: like unless I die too now, I'm gonna be older than her Ava: they could take Libi if they want another child so bad Ava: alright, that was bitchy but nan and granddad won't be around forever either, I know they're not old old but Grace: they tried that already, so not really that bitchy Grace: god, she looks so much like her I actually can't breathe sometimes Ava: It's crazy Ava: and how big she is already Grace: did you see the 🎃 patch pics? It's wild, she's even dressed like Edie as a kid Grace: calm down nan Ava: I know Ava: I wish she had to chance to know her Ava: and her dad, of course Grace: yeah, I wish I'd known her better & I had way longer than Libi Ava: Like Billie's mum Ava: it's just sad Grace: idk maybe you get to 90 & you're still like I wish....whatever Grace: but like you said, it's unfair & I hate it Ava: It's never going to be something you can make peace with Ava: well, I don't think Ava: her life wasn't finished, it had only just started Grace: I don't think I wanna make peace with it anyway, it's not okay & none of us should just be okay with it Grace: but I can't cry rn so Ava: Me either Ava: I have too many sandwiches to make Grace: are you at home? I'll come over Ava: I'm at his but you can come over Ava: help me load up the car Grace: 👌🏽 omw Ava: You can have a cake pop early Ava: don't tell Jay Grace: 😂🤫 Ava: or more aptly, don't tell James she's already conned me out of two Grace: he'll definitely be able to tell when she's climbing the walls Grace: unless you've made a really convincing 🕷 costume too Ava: I know, I know Ava: it's bad Ava: but I don't think a little bit of excitement would actually hurt right now Ava: she's got to carry it, it's not like Mattie really has much of a clue what's going on yet Grace: & you don't want her feeling jealous & left out that you threw her baby sister such a great party Grace: that's the worst Ava: Yeah, she had hers in the Summer and it wasn't the best time, obviously Ava: I've tried to make sure she feels involved anyway Grace: Teddy can't believe how good you are with her, speaking of jealousy 😂 Ava: Kids pick up on your awkwardness, don't they Ava: like animals Ava: he just needs to fake it 'til he makes it Grace: mhmmm Grace: I told him it'll get easier the more time he spends with both of them, but you know what he's like Ava: Yeah Ava: at least no one is going to accuse him of trying to be their mother 🙄 Grace: 🤞🏽 she won't say it again in front of everyone 🥳🎁 Grace: awkward Ava: it's so patronizing Ava: it's not as if Chloe was a massive help Ava: he's done it himself this whole time, basically Ava: they don't need a mum Grace: she was literally the opposite of helpful Ava: at best she looked after them in the loosest sense of the word when he was at uni or work Ava: but 9/10 they'd end up with her parents so it wasn't as if she could be relied on Grace: are her parents coming? Ava: yeah Ava: I don't think they can even believe that she's done this Ava: gone Ava: I've met them a few times, dropping or picking the girls up, they're nice enough Grace: who'd wanna believe that about their family tbh Grace: but it's good that they're sticking around even though they probably wanna die if they've always been there Grace: the girls need that normality rn Ava: I'm sure they feel awful Ava: though James' family are blaming no one but him so they don't need to worry about judgment Grace: ugh I would kill Teddy if he sided with them Ava: I don't know if James knows he doesn't Grace: really? Grace: 🙄 boys never talk Grace: I'll talk to him, he knows how to show it even if he doesn't wanna say it Grace: they can go to the pub or whatever Ava: Yeah, I like, try not to comment or get involved Ava: know what it's like to have family drama Ava: but that's the feeling I've got anyway, it couldn't hurt them Grace: rich people need a bigger shove to open up, no offence Ava: 😂 it's a class issue, really Grace: in his family there's that whole stiff upper lip thing that I thought was totally not even a thing for the past however many centuries Grace: it's crazy, okay Ava: I know Grace: thank god he's the youngest or his mum would be coming at me to produce an heir Ava: you aren't good enough stock, obvs Ava: 🙄🙄 Grace: & she's only basing that off my 2 jobs & sexual history Grace: if she knew I was actually infertile she'd be giving him constant sti checks & changing the locks Grace: 😱😱 Ava: If you aren't titled and can't trace your family back to the dark ages, then they don't wanna know 🤷 Grace: so weird Ava: just how they are Ava: posh people Grace: yeah, it's wild, you should've seen the look I got when I said you were making sandwiches Grace: the boy does nothing for himself I swear Ava: he doesn't Ava: I've known him long enough Grace: Janis hated him on sight so at least you do actually know him Ava: doesn't really surprise me Grace: she only has 😍 for working class baristas so Ava: all my family hate James so you're doing better than me Grace: they just hate him for you, I've been there every other time Grace: they'll have to get over it & used to him eventually Ava: none of yours were married with two kids Ava: but still, yeah, they will Ava: or they won't, it's not like it's illegal so they can't do anything Grace: he's divorced now & literally deserves to be happy Ava: his happiness isn't their top priority Grace: yours should be though Ava: it is Ava: in that they think it's a mistake and I'll regret it Grace: if it is it's your mistake to make & regret to live with Grace: I've got 100000s Grace: 🤷 Ava: I can see their point, and what they're trying to do, without agreeing with it Ava: because I'm not as immature as they wanna say so Ava: it is what it is Grace: 👏🏽 Ava: I've got to do some homework, when you get here Ava: you don't mind do you Grace: it's fine Ava: it's due monday and I've barely started Grace: as long as Teddy doesn't ignore me for homework too Ava: awh, how could he Grace: idk maybe you're a better influence than me Ava: i'm not going to turn the party into a study sesh, don't worry Grace: 😂 I didn't bring any homework so I'm not worried Grace: I could probably cope with Jay's but I won't be telling her Ava: ✌ Ava: I highly doubt she'll wanna do hers either Grace: she can help me get him in the 🥳🎁🕺🎊 mood then Ava: 🤞 Grace: 🙏🏽