#Mickey was a kid who bit for dominance as a child.

[spacerockwriting]

Galladrabbles: Mine

Thank you for this prompt @jrooc and @galladrabbles! Bringing you some BIL action with our favorite boys!!

Mine

“Look Bro, I don’t see what the big deal is; I’m just askin’ if he’ll kiss me.”

“Why the fuck do you need a dude to kiss you?”

“Just saying,” Iggy huffs. “It’ll get her off my case. Look, it’s not even real gay, just pretend.”

“And why does it have to be my husband?”

“Cause you’re my brother, duh.”

Ian puts a palm to his face. “Maybe your brother in-law should have a say? No, Iggy, I’m not kissing you.” Ian shrugs.

“Cause he’s mine.” Mickey smirks.

Iggy scowls. “Mine, mine. Just like when you were a fuckin’ toddler.”

[sayuricorner]

Monkie Kid X Twisted Wonderland prompt idea: Child of Sun Wukong and Macaque!Yuu AU - AU details

Previous

Warning: English is not my first language so sorry if it’s confusing.    

Warning 2: Spoilers for Monkie Kid S4  

Here's some details and headcanons for my "Child of Sun Wukong and Macaque!Yuu AU" ! ^^

If you want to use this AU go ahead, just tag/credite me in return please! ^^  

If you had any questions about this AU don’t hesitate to leave a ask! :)

—————————————————–

AU details:

-Celestial monkey!Yuu

-Shadowpeach child!Yuu

->Yu’s personnality in the AU: 

-unlike canon!Yuu this Yuu is more asertive, she got a strongheaded and extravertite personnality and take no shit from those around her.

-Can be very snarky when provocked.

-Is very friendly and easy going and is very tactil with those who are close to her.

-Like to use her shadow habilities to prank others.

-Yu’s appearance: Yu had a dark brown fur with a peach colored skin, she had six ears which she got from Macaque, her eyes are golden just like her parents’s and her face mark is a mix of her parents’s marks and is light pink.

-Yu’s abilities: Thanks to her parents training her, Yu is pretty strong and share some of her parents’s abilities, however in TSWT, because of her strengh, she most of the time stay in the sidelines and give strategic guidelines to the others during fights against overblots, much to her annoyance, ‘cause with her level, there’s high risk she end up killing the overblots which is not the goal.

->Yu's family:

-Sun Wukong: baba or mama (it’s up to whoever who use the AU)

-Macaque: baba or mama (it’s up to whoever who use the AU)

-MK: MK-gege

-Mei: Mei-jiejie

-Red Son: Red-Tangge(cousin)

-Tang: Uncle Tang

-Pigsy: Uncle Pigsy

-DBK: Uncle Bull

-Princess Iron Fan: Aunt Iron Fan

-Nezha: Uncle Nezha

-Azure Lion: Uncle Lion

-Peng: Uncle Peng

-Yellow Tusk Elephant: Uncle Elephant

-Jin and Yin: Jin-gege and Yin-gege(the two “meet” Yu by accident when she was really young when she got kidnapped by demons who wanted to use her against her parents but she escaped them and fall on the twins by chance, Jin and Yin looked after her at their lair until Sun Wukong and Macaque took her back and since then she saw them as brother figures)

---------------------------------------

->Yu’s NRC student profile:

-Name: Yu Mei-Xing

-Gender: Female

-Age: 16 in human age equivalent

-Birthday: 7 september

-Starsign: Monkey (chinese zodiac)

-Height: 165 cm

-Eye color: Golden

-Fur color: Dark brown

-Homeland: Flower Fruit Mountain

-Dorm: Ramshackle

-School year: First year

-Occupation: Night Raven College student

-Club: Drama club

-Best subject: P.E.

-Dominant hand: Right

-Favorite food: Peaches and Pigsy’s noodles

-Least favorite food: Spicy food

-Dislike: When someone mess with her family

-Hobby: Training, performing at Macaque’s theater and kicking demons’s butt(yep! she see this as an hobby!)

-Talents: combat and acting

-----------------------------------------

-Yu being fascinated by Twisted wonderland and it Magic.

-Yu being VERY annoyed by Ace's, Grim's and Deuce's stupide antics.

-Guang Yin being the one Yu Saw in the mirror instead of Mickey like in the twst canon.

-Yu often telling her Friends stories about her family's adventures.

-Yu being often challenges by the Savanaclaw students.

-Protective Yu.

-Strategist Yu.

-Azure Lion at one point appearing in NRC mysteriously like Yu and living in Ramshackle with his niece until they found a way to go back to their world.

-The NRC students being amazed but also intimidated by Azure Lion.

-Leona being at first a bit territorial with Azure 'cause the former see the later as an unknown lion who had tresspassed into "his turf".

-Azure Lion and Leona developing step by step a "mentor-student" and trust bond when Azure saw Leona's potential and proposed to him to help him to develop it.

-Azure having nostalgic memories from the old times if the Brotherhood when seeing Yu interracting with her friends from NRC.

-Azure and Yu training together with Yu's friends looking at their training completly shocked by how strong they are.

-Yu calling Malleus "Hornton".

-Malleus and Yu having a big crush on each other.

-Emotional reunion with Yu and her family when Azure Lion and her found a way back to their world.

-The way being a mirror which then permit Yu to travel to NRC and her world as much as she want.

-After some talks with Yu and having a "little chat" with Crowley for having took his sweet time to find a way to send back Yu and Azure Lion, Sun Wukong and Macaque decided to let Yu to keep attending NRC on a few conditions like coming back home on hollidays.

-The twst characters meeting and interracting with the other Monkie kid characters.

-Malleus at one point officially asking Sun Wukong and Macaque permission to court Yu.

->Yu’s relationship with the TWST characters through the AU:

-Grim: -Thought he was a very annoying cat when she first meet him but grown fond of him with time.

-Yu always do her best to descipline Grim and keep him out of trouble, feel sometime like she was a mother trying to make her child behave and wonder if she also give a hard time to her parents when she was younger.

-Use often Grim’s glutonnery against him, for example, Yu always keep on her tuna cans to bride Grim.

-Grim always call Yu his enchwoman only to be constently corrected by an annoyed Yu.

-Grim is the first one in NRC to learn more about Yu’s homeworld and family.

-Yu often use her shadows to catch Grim whenever the cat is wandering off from her sight.

-Crowley: -Yu doesn’t really had a lot of respect for Crowley, especially with the fact he take his sweet time to find a way to send her back to her world.

-Ace: -Prank victim N°1.

-Is the first one in NRC who named Yu Mei Xing with the nickname “Yu”.

-When Ace made fun of her the first time they met, Yu roasted him to the point Ace was silenced in embarrassment.

-Is often scoled by Yu whenever he is being an idiot.

-Had often sleepovers at Ramshackle with the rest of the first years squad after he became friend with Yu.

-Became one of Yu's closest friends in NRC despite their rocky start.

-Deuce: - Prank victim N°2.

-Kind of remind Yu of her baba's/mama's(Sun Wukong) story(Aka rowdy troublemaker who then worked hard to be a better person).

-Is often exasperated by his habit to be dragged into Ace's and Grim's BS.

-Became one of Yu's closest friends in NRC.

-When he first met Yu, Deuce was very nervous since he doesn't know how/what to talk with women.

-Riddle: -Yu didn't like him at first, to her he was a bossy and bratty rules obsessed peacock and this opinion didn't go better through the Heartslabyul arc.

-When she learn about Riddle's abusive home lire, while she does feel sorry for him she agreed with Ace that Riddle's home life wasn't an excuse for his horrible behavior.

-Yu nearly have gone berserk when Riddle insulted her family at the unbirthday party until the dorm leader got punched by Ace.

-Comforted him despite being angry against him when she got dragged in his overblot memories.

-Riddle felt very guilty afterward for how he behaved toward Tu and when he appologied Yu decided to forgive him in the "forgive but not forget" way and to give him a chance.

-Both became more friendly toward each other after the Heartslabyul arc.

-Trey: -Yu like him, she find him nice and like to hang out with him.

-Love his pastries and cakes, especially the peach flavored ones.

-Was not impressed by his enabler behavior in the Heartslabyul arc.

-Called him out on his enabling of Riddle's behavior like "True friends's duty is to calling their friends out when they are out of line not to encouraging into bad behavior!".

-Was very worried about him when he got hurt in the Savanaclaw arc.

-Cater: -Like him a lot and find him fun to hang out with.

-Remind Yu a lot of Mei.

-Like to take photos with him.

-Found funny how Ace, Deuce and Grim fall for Cater's trick into making them painting the roses instead of him.

-Leona: -When they first met, Leona wasn't as rude toward Yu as he was in the twst canon since he was raised to be respectful toward women.

-Leona saw Yu at first as a "little monkey herbivore" but get more respect for her when she talk back to him and show he doesn't intimidated her at all.

-The two became friendly Rivals After Tu and the others saved him from his overblot accident.

-Convinced Leona to help them in the Octavinelle arc by annoying him and keep him from sleeping at night with her shadow abilities.

-Jack: -Respect Jack's honorable nature and competitive side a lot.

-Like to do friendly challenges with him.

-Ruggie: -Managed to caugh him in the Savanaclaw arc with her shadow abilities when he try to run away with the sandwich je stole and trick him into giving the sandwich back by trading it with a more deliscious looking dishes she discretly created with one of her hair.

-Jade and Floyd: -Remind Yu a lot of Jin and Yin.

-Is not intimidated by the twins's antics especially Floyd's.

-Floyd call her "Sea Monkey" and like to hold her, "squeeze her" and commenting on how small she is, much to Yu's annoyance.

-Azul: -Yu had mixed feelings about him.

-During the Octavinelle arc, Azul not only tried to take Ramshackle from her with his contrats but also tried to make her his "girlfriend/fiancee" when he learn she was a princess back in her world.

-If after the Octavinelle arc Yu and Azul are on more friendly term, she however know to stay a bit wary toward him when it came to making deals.

-Kalim: -See him as an adorable ball of sunshine.

-Create with time a siblings dynamic.

-Jamil: -Noticed he was more than "simple average" and after the Scarabia arc "encouraged him" in her own way to "stand out more".

-Epel: -Support him with his desire to be more tough and sportive and talk to him about some people from her world who are very strong despite not being physically buffet(ex: Nezha).

-Rook: -Find him a bit wierd, she doesn't hate the guy and know he doesn't mean any harm but the fact she became one of the students he is "following around"(*cough*stalking*cough*) made her a bit disturbed.

-Vil: -Had a lot of respect for Vil's acting skills.

-During the Pomefiore arc Yu wondered if Vil wasn't a demon in disguise with how ruthless he could get.

-Idia: -Didn't really know him at first since Idia is not a social person.

-After the Ignihyde arc the two get to bond through video games.

-During the Ignihyde arc Yu felt very bad for Idia and his loss of his brother.

-Ortho: -Yu like him very much and think hé IS an adorable and nice kid.

-Malleus: -See him as one of her best friends.

-Yu is not fazed by the fact Malleus is one of the strongest mages existing(I mean let's not forget who her family is! X) ), especially when she knex that Malleus is a sweet guy.

-Make sure to invite him as much as possible much to Malleus's joy.

-Both get a crush on each other with time.

-Lilia: -Yu doesn't really know what to think of him, on one hand he is nice but on the other hand he give her the feeling he is more than meet the eye.

-Silver: -Find him nice to hang out with.

-Sebek: -While she respect his anthousiasm and fidelity to Malleus Yu find him VERY loud.

->Ships: Malleus x Yu, Sadowpeach(Sun Wukong x Macaque), Spicynoodles(MK x Red Son)(optional), Freenoodles(Pigsy x Tang)(optional), DBK x PIF, other ships are up to whoever who use this AU! ^^ 

----------------------------------

TAG LIST:

@yuu-did-what , galrakeithxshirofan  , @sasunaru22fy , @dreamingwithinthestars

[gacmediadaily]

Days off aren’t something you’ll typically see on Mario Lopez’s jam-packed schedule, but the Chula Vista, Calif., native, who hasn’t slowed down in his 40 years in the entertainment business isn’t complaining one bit. “My goal is to be the Latino Dick Clark,” he laughs. 

Lopez is currently juggling a myriad of hosting projects, from his daily duties on NBC’s “Access Hollywood” and “Access Daily,” to his national iHeart radio programs “On With Mario Lopez” and “iHeartRadio Countdown With Mario Lopez.” But don’t think for a second that he has put acting on the backburner. His latest project is the holiday film “Once Upon a Christmas List” for Great American Family. Also a producer on the film, he co-stars with his wife of 11 years, Courtney, as well as their 11-year old son, Dominic. 

On top of all that, Lopez continues working on the brand bearing his name that includes men’s and boys’ footwear, childrenswear, personal grooming tools, sleepwear and loungewear, and men’s fragrance. Many still know him, however, for his breakthrough 1989 role as jock A.C. Slater in the teen sitcom “Saved by the Bell.” 

One event that Lopez will be making room for on his calendar happens on Oct. 10, when he’ll receive a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. “I’m incredibly honored and humbled. It’s just a wow, pinch me moment,” he says before taking a walk down memory at his four-decade career. 

It hasn’t been that long since you found out about your star. How are you feeling about it today?

It’s a huge deal. I was this little Mexican kid from Chula Vista. I remember when I was starting this business at 9 or 10 years old, and I would come [to Los Angeles] with my dad, and I’d come to audition. At the time, they used to have a ton of little hotels on Hollywood and Sunset Boulevard. That’s when it was really shady back then in the ‘80s, but hotels are expensive, and my dad worked for the city, so we’d stay at the craziest little hole in the wall hotels. But I felt safe with him. And now cut to, “I’m gonna have a star!” That is pretty wild. 

I couldn’t believe it. It’s across the street from Grauman’s Chinese Theatre and right in front of Wahlburgers. My buddy Mark Wahlberg is going to be one of my speakers, so he got a kick out of that. It’s also on my birthday and it’s during Hispanic Heritage Month, so I’m very excited. 

When you were that little kid, were you thinking long-term career thoughts?

I was a hyper kid and there was potential for trouble in the neighborhood I was in, so I was the only dancing, wrestling, theater, karate kid I knew. My mom and dad just put me in a bunch of different activities to keep me busy and out of trouble, so acting was just one of the many different activities that I had. But, no, I didn’t think anything like that. And I wasn’t one of those kids who wanted to be on TV. I just kind of fell into it… but, of course, I fell in love with it.

How beneficial were your dimples when you were a little kid auditioning?

I didn’t think about it when I was a kid, to be honest with you. I used to get teased when I was a little kid — “holes in your face” and all this stuff — but then later on, girls started liking them, so I didn’t mind so much. 

“‘Saved by the Bell’ started when I was 15 and ran for four seasons, and it’s still on today, which is a trip.” 

“Saved by the Bell” was the thing that took you to a whole new level. Is that how you remember it?

I was on a show for three, four seasons prior to that. [It was] sort of like “The Mickey Mouse Club,” called “Kids Incorporated” [with] Stacy Ferguson (who later became Fergie), Martika, Rahsaan Patterson and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Everybody sang, danced and played all the instruments. Then I did a bunch of guest spots, like “The Golden Girls,” a bunch of pilots and commercials. “Saved by the Bell” started when I was 15 and ran for four seasons, and it’s still on today, which is a trip. 

Were you able to enjoy the excitement about the show at the time?

We were actual teenagers playing teenagers, which I think is one of the reasons the show struck a chord with kids. We did it in the summertime because we were all minors, so it was like having a cool summer job. Then I went to a regular, big public school. I got to play sports and go to my prom and have a regular life when I wasn’t working. 

Some people like to put behind them the project that started their careers, but you never seem to mind when “Saved by the Bell” comes up, do you?

I mean, it’s a part of what I did, and I guess, who I am. I’m very grateful for that. And the fact that people still bring it up or watch it or they recognize me, that’s cool. I have nothing but positive things to say about it. 

What was the transition from teen star to adult roles like for you?

It was really difficult because, just like any person that’s on a show for a while, you get typecast and even more so when you’re a kid, because then it takes everyone a minute to take you serious as an adult. That’s why I always have a lot of extra respect for actors who were once child actors, because I know how difficult that transition is. I know how tough it is, so a tip of the hat to them. 

What is your advice to make it through that transition?

I’ve always been a bit of a hustler and had a strong work ethic and wanted to stay at it, but I didn’t necessarily want to just limit myself to acting, so I got into hosting and producing. The singing and dancing came in handy as well. I started to flex all those different creative muscles and was open to doing different things, whether it was Broadway or the hosting.

You starred on Broadway in 2008 in “A Chorus Line.” You hadn’t done anything as big as that on stage before. What was that like?

It was a blast and a bucket list thing. We did a six-month run, but I also met my wife on the show, so it worked out well! The last couple months were really hard because I was flying back (to Los Angeles) once a week on my dark days to host “America’s Best Dance Crew,” but it was worth it back then. 

Since you’ve also been producing for some time now, what do you think makes a good producer?

I like putting projects together and assembling the writers, directors, the rest of the team and the talent involved. I’d much rather have a producer hat on as opposed to having any desire to direct, because that consumes you a little too much. You’ve got to be a good people person because you’re dealing with a lot of different types of personalities, so I think that comes in handy. 

Your children are now getting into the business, what advice or guidelines do you give them? 

I’m not necessarily trying to encourage them but I’m not discouraging them either. It just so happened that some of these scripts had kids in them and I thought it’d be kind of fun. If I didn’t think they could pull it off, I wouldn’t put them in. But my son shows a little more of an inclination to want to it more. My daughter Gia is more fascinated with behind-the-scenes stuff.

“I like to say my Mount Rushmore is of the four f’s — family, faith, fitness and food.” 

Once you got married and start having kids, did that change how you looked at your career trajectory?

It made me want to focus more and do more because now I have responsibilities other than myself. As far as the content that I was putting out there, that’s why I got into the holiday space because it’s all about family. I like to say my Mount Rushmore is of the four f’s — family, faith, fitness and food. 

You turned 50 last year. How are you feeling about it today?

It was a little nerve-racking and seemed daunting leading up to it, but then I thought, “Well, it beats the alternative.” I don’t want to not be turning 50. And, damn, 51 is around the corner. But I feel good and grateful for everything that’s going on and for being in the game still after all these years. 

What would you tell your younger self when you were just getting started in the business?

That there’s always time for all the other shenanigans. Work hard, stay focused, try to do the right thing, and eventually the right things, I think, will happen for you. 

Since fitness has always been a big part of your life, what do you notice about keeping fit in your 50s?

I try to do a little something every day and I always say I train more for sanity than vanity. The problem is [that] I’m going just as intensely as I did in my 20s, but my body’s not able to keep up all the way, so injuries become a little bit more frequent. I’ve got to learn how to dial it back and when to rest and to take care of it a little bit better. You can’t continue to do the same thing. 

You mentioned your bucket list. It seems like you’ve checked off quite a few, but what’s left?

I love doing what I’m doing. I want to continue to be able to do that. I probably just kind of amp up more of the producing stuff and be able to tell more cool stories. 

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Masterlist

A list of my old writing that you can request I revise

Song Prompts

Meeting and Dating Headcanons~

Pretty in Pink

Andie Walsh

Duckie Dale

Blane McDonagh

Steff McKee

Sixteen Candles 

Jake Ryan

The Lost Boys

Paul

Dwayne

Poly Lost Boys

Edgar Frog

The Breakfast Club

Brian Johnson

John Bender

Andrew Clark

The Outsiders

Sodapop Curtis

Dallas Winston

Two-Bit Mathews

Rumblefish

Steve Hays

Ferris Buellers Day Off

Cameron Frye

Karate Kid

Daniel Larusso

Johnny Lawrence

Dutch

Heathers

Veronica Sawyer

Jason Dean

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Jeff Spicoli

Brad Hamilton

Better Off Dead 

Lane Meyer

Weird Science

Gary Wallace

Wyatt Donnelly

Dream A Little Dream

Dinger Holfield

Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure

Bill S. Preston Esquire

Ted Logan 

Dating Poly Bill and Ted 

The Princess Bride

Inigo Montoya

Interview with the Vampire

Louis de Pointe du Lac

Children of the Corn

Malachai Boardman

National Lampoons 

Rusty Griswold (European Vacation)

Cant Buy Me Love

Kenneth Wurman

The Chocolate War

Jerry Renault

Archie Costello

The Mighty Ducks

Fulton Reed

Dean Portman

Adam Banks

Les Averman

Porkys

Brian Schwartz

Anthony ‘Meat’ Tuperello

Tommy Turner

Tim Cavanaugh

Mickey Jarvis

Just One of the Guys

Terry Griffith

Greg Tolan

Dead Poets Society 

Neil Perry

Todd Anderson

Charlie Dalton

Knox Overstreet

Steven Meeks

Earth Girls are Easy

Mac

Combat Academy 

Perry Barnett

Waynes World

Garth Algar

Austin Powers

Austin Powers

Toy Soldiers

Ricardo Montoya

Good Will Hunting

Chuckie Sullivan

10 Things I Hate About You

Joey Donner

My Bodyguard

Ricky Linderman

Melvin Moody

Stand and Deliver

Angel Guzman

Something Wild 

Ray Sinclair

Three O’Clock High 

Buddy Revell

Intruder

Randy

Young Guns

Jose Chavez y Chavez

Billy the Kid

Doc Scurlock

Dazed and Confused

Benny O’Donnell

Don Dawson

Kevin Pickford

Randall “Pink” Floyd

Fred O’Bannion

Mitch Kramer

Ron Slater

Shavonne Wright

Dogfight

Eddie Birdlace

Ladybugs

Matthew

Goosebumps

Sticks

Freddy Renfield

Twister

Robert ‘Rabbit’ Nurick

Stand by me 

Ace Merrill

School Ties

Rip Van Kelt 

Chris Reece

The Untouchables

Eliot Ness

The Godfather

Tom Hagen

(Young) Vito Corleone

(Old) Vito Corleone

Goodfellas

Henry Hill

Little Shop of Horrors

Seymour Krelborn

Newsies

Specs

Near Dark

Severen

Friday the 13th

Jason Voorhees

Scream

Billy Loomis 

Poly Billy and  Stu

Stu Macher

The Craft

Nancy Downs

Hocus Pocus

Max Dennison

Thackery Binx

Beetlejuice

Lydia Deetz

Adam Maitland

The Crow

Eric Draven

Ghostbusters

Ray Stantz

Aliens

Bishop

An American Werewolf in London

Jack Goodman

Sleepaway Camp

Ricky Thomas

Re-animator

Herbert West

Silence of the Lambs

Clarice Starling

Fright Night

Jerry Dandridge

Candyman

Daniel Robitaille

The Evil Dead

Ash Williams

Sabrina the Teenage Witch

Harvey Kinkle

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Spike

Full Metal Jacket

Sgt. Hartman

Joker

Animal Mother

Pyle

Preference~ the boys with an s/o whose ex stalks them

Grease

Kenickie

Labyrinth

Jareth

Total Recall

Douglas Quaid

Requested “Would Includes” and Imagines/Fics~

Darry falling for Johnny’s sister

Allison Reynolds dating a shy nerdy girl

Starting a family with Cameron Frye

Making out with Cameron Frye

Cameron Frye comforting you when you’re upset

Getting drunk with the Ferris Bueller crew

Gary Wallace dating a tall girl

George Mcfly with a dominant flirty s/o

Comforting and being comforted by Will Hunting

Will Hunting having a crush on you

Being apart of the good will hunting gang

Armand with a virgin s/o (including nsfw)

Lestat and Louis dating a girl who loves horror movies

Making out with Duckie Dale

Duckie Dale cheering you up

Cliff having a crush on you

Making out with Cliff

Making out with Bryce

Bryce having a crush on you

The Lost Boys with an s/o having an anxiety attack + fighting depression

The Lost Boys with a sweet and innocent s/o

The Lost Boys with a curvy mate

The Lost Boys fighting with their mates

The Lost Boys dating a shy short girl

The Lost Boys taking care of you when you’re hurt

Getting drunk with the Lost Boys would include

David x Laddies older sister

Making out with Edgar Frog

Being Married to Archie Costello

Going to the beach with Archie Costello

Making out with Archie Costello

Darrys girlfriend landing a job at a local cafe as a singer

Making out with Kenneth Wurman

Being Cindys friend and Ronalds crush

Harold Sherbico having a crush

Kim Kelly dating her polar opposite

Neil Perry dating an artist

Making out with Charlie Dalton

Jealous Charlie Dalton

Jealous Knox Overstreet

A study date with Steven Meeks

Spending the winter season with Neil Perry

Comforting Charlie Dalton after he gets expelled 

The dead poets walking in on Charlie and his secret, shy girlfriend 

Simon Boggs having a crush on Laneys friend

Faking It-Cindy Mancini falling for the girl who paid her to be her friend

Spike having a crush on you

Steff McKee having a crush on you

Marko having a crush on you

David having a crush on you 

Paul having a crush on you

Dwayne having a crush on you

Dwayne x vampire reader who dresses like Stevie Nicks

Making out with Keith Nelson

Meat having a crush on Peewees sister

Admit it- Mickey Jarvis and his future s/o having crushes on each other

Being a part of team USA and meeting Adam and Charlie

Dwayne Robertson having a crush on you

Sleepover with Bill and Ted (including nsfw)

Being pregnant with Ted Logans child

Starring in the schools Romeo and Juliet with Ted Logan

Ted Logan asking you to be his valentine

Spending Valentines day with Steff McKee

Spending Valentines day with Steven Meeks

Spending Valentines day with Keith Nelson

Spending your first Valentines day with Bryce

Wishing I Was Her (Nick Andopolis)

If You Want Out Just Say It (Ace Merrill)

Going on the Ferris adventure

Going on your own adventure with Cameron Frye

Making out with Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd

Travelling back in time with Marty McFly

Tommy Devito dating a chubby artist

Years Gone By (Michael Corleone)

Sonny Corleone dating his opposite

Phillipe Gaston x reader~ Fairy Tale 

Being Fulton's sister and Dating Dean Portman

Comforting Todd when he’s upset

Being married to Bill S. Preston Esquire

Being married to Ted Logan

Spending Halloween/October with Knox Overstreet

Making out with Knox

A will they, won’t they relationship with Seth Brundle

Falling in love with Edward Scissorhands

Dwayne Hicks with an Android!Technician s/o

Private Joker dating an artist 

Jareth falling in love with you

Being married to Matt Hooper and going to Amity

The way you make me feel~ John Bender

Being in a long term relationship with JD

J.D. with a chronically ill s/o

Archie with a chronically ill s/o

Making out with Ted Logan

Archibald Craven falling in love

Andy Dufresne falling in love

Nsfw Headcanons~ 

Group sex with the lost boys

Sam Emerson

Threesome with Obie and Archie

Armand

Archie Costello

(sub) Archie Costello

Obie

Johnny Cade

Cameron Frye

Duckie Dale

Blane

John Bender

Randy (Intruder)

Joey Donner

Kenneth Wurman

Keith Nelson

The Dead Poets Kinks

Knox Overstreet

Charlie Dalton

Steven Meeks

Todd Anderson

Neil Perry

Gerard Pitts

John Bender taking your virginity

Louis de Pointe du Lac

Dinger Holfield

The Lost Boys

JD

Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd

Benny O’donnell

Fred O’Bannion

Cliff

Bryce

Johnny Walker

George Mcfly

Brian Moreland

(sub) Perry Barnett 

Bill S. Preston Esquire

Ted Logan

Randy Meeks

Michael Emerson

Nancy Downs

Ray Stantz

Egon Spengler

Spike

Angel Guzman

Sgt. Hartman

Brad Hamilton

Douglas Quaid

Chris (night of the creeps)

Sonny Corleone with a shy, virgin s/o

George Mcfly getting jealous and being dominant

Grease Monkey (Keith Nelson smut)

Sins of the flesh and matters of the heart (David x reader + Dwayne smut)

[mrvdocks]

Selcouth

You shouldn’t have come on this stupid trip. Not even if it had opened you up more to him. If anything, you felt this trip had soured the more time had passed. Alex could tell. But you two had to play it safe, play the parts that Karl thought you two assumed from his perspective. You resented that, having to stick to an image that he had formed of you, one that tried to act like you weren’t so in love with him it made your heart ache. 

Or,

You and Alex plan a meet up with Karl for a week trip, only to have your feelings for Karl be put to the test when things don’t pan out how you all planned. (Karl Jacobs/Reader)  

After

“Stop it.” He says, voice serious and no longer joyful or even hinting at friendliness. You’ve heard Karl be serious many times but this time sounded different. This time he sounded like he was scolding a child after being annoyed by them repeatedly. 

“Stop what?” You ask, pretending to be aloof.

“Stop acting like a child!”

“I’m the one acting like a chil - since when was doing something I want, acting like a child?!” 

He makes a hmpf sound. “What is this supposed to be, payback? Is that what you’re playing at?”

“I’m not playing at anything here, Karl. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

He scoffs. “Oh yeah? So you just suddenly developed an interest in Dream overnight, is that it?” 

“Honestly, why do you care so much? My love life isn’t up for debate here.” 

“Oh and mine was?” He retorts.

You knew he would bring it up, you just knew. It was perfect ammo right now. You stutter to find the right words. 

“What - what do you want from me Karl? I don’t need to explain myself to you. Have you considered that maybe I just finally got tired of being alone? That maybe I just needed someone?” 

Karl tries to not let this dig push him over the line but his frustration and jealousy wouldn’t let him stop seeing green. 

“Is this what you do? You like playing with people's feelings? Do you think screwing my friends is going to help you or is this another one of your phases?”

It feels good in the heat of the moment but he knows he’s messed up as soon as he says it. 

Your mouth drops open. Incredible. In-fucking-credible.  

You laugh bitterly, trying to put up a strong front but your voice betrays you by cracking. “That’s low, Karl. That’s - really fucking low.”

Instantly regretting it, he tries to make amends but can’t put words together properly. His mind reels, heart races, palms suddenly feel sweaty and all he can manage is your name. “(Y/N)......I -”

You can’t bear to hear another false apology spill from his lips. If that’s how he felt, then there was no changing his mind. No matter how badly you wanted to. 

“No you’re right. You’re right. You made your choice and so have I. Goodbye Karl.” You conclude and hang up, throwing your phone across the room. You stare at it until your vision becomes blurry with tears. 

Where do you go from here?

Before

You didn’t think that when you first started streaming that you’d end up at the point you were now. You just wanted to have fun with your friends, maybe meet some new people, share your interests along with the loads of games you found amusing. Interestingly enough, your personality and content seemed to resonate with a lot of people. 

Pretty soon you’d become one of the top streamers on Twitch behind the other big talent that once dominated your dashboard. 

You’d made your way into the big leagues with names like GeorgeNotFound, Dream, Quackity, Nihachu, and even Karl Jacobs. Though you’d met the latter two years ago, you’d become quick friends with Quackity, or Alex(is), having bonded over having similar backgrounds and interests. 

He was more like a brother to you than anything, much to the chagrin of many in the chat. You believe it had to do with growing up in a family with mostly girl siblings. 

Your collabs with Alex garnered lots of views, with people tuning into the streams to watch you two yell at each other chaotically while playing odd games or attempting to bake things. 

Of course, while he did your side of content, that meant you had to hold up your end of the bargain. Minecraft wasn’t your strong suit at first, but as time went on and with some help from both Alex and Karl, you became a little more proficient. 

Karl was no stranger to you, not anymore. Alex had introduced you to Karl a little after he started streaming. You’d only really known him from a couple of Jimmy’s videos. 

He seemed kind, goofy, friendly, and all around a pretty fun guy to be around. Which is why when you started to fall just a little bit for him, you were surprised. You came into this Twitch thing with one rule. Don’t fall for people. 

Things could get messy, it was always a given. The fandoms would tear into you or them, people were unpredictable. It was just better to keep everyone at an arm's length when it came to shipping. 

You were thankful nothing had come to fruition from your friendship with Alex. If anything, all you saw were people shipping you platonically. Though you two would often tease each other if one had a crush on someone. 

Your dynamic with Alex meant that you had countless ridiculous and outrageous moments together, often documenting them when he would visit you in LA from Mexico or you going to Mexico to see family and stopping by to visit him.

It was starting to become a thing you two did a few times a year. This year was no different. Even when the pandemic seemed to sour your plans, you both promised to stay safe and healthy and limit the trips. So far, this was going to be the first trip you two would be taking anywhere. 

Your phone buzzed next to you as you scrolled mindlessly through your discord server. You laughed a bit here and there, looking at memes and chatting with people. 

Alex’s text ringtone was him rage quitting during a game where you absolutely obliterated his ass. You either cracked up at the sound of it or jumped in sudden fear when it bounced off the walls of your apartment in the middle of the night. 

A: Hey wiener, are you packed?? I know you take like three business days to get ready. 

You rolled your eyes. He was supposed to be coming to visit you first before you both made the flight out to see Karl in North Carolina. 

Y: Me??? I’ve been packed since last week. I thought you were supposed to be on the flight here already 🙄

A: I may or may not…...already be out. 💀

Your eyes widen. You abandon the chat and hit the FaceTime button. He lets it ring for a good five seconds before he accepts it and greets you with a close up of his face.

“What am I looking at?” You ask, feigning disgust. 

“My beautiful face, what else?” 

“Really? I thought it was a dog’s asshole.” You chuckle. 

He guffaws. “Fuck off! First I get stranded here in LA, then I get some shitty chicken nuggets and now you’re calling me butt ugly! Why does life hate me so much?!”

“Menso! You were supposed to call me when you - wait did you say chicken nuggets?”

“Yeah, I still have the rest but I can’t finish because every time I chew I think of the pink slime.”

“Ugh don’t talk about Supersize Me, I’m still having nightmares about it. Who shows that to little kids??” 

“Yeah well it’s shit, Burger King’s better.” He admits, munching down on the nuggets. He chews obnoxiously near the phone speaker to annoy you so you tap at the screen in retaliation. 

“Hey, I was supposed to record you trying out American McDonald’s! Why are you taking sweet sweet content away from me? Now no one gets to see you lose your McVirginity!”

He sputters through a mouthful of nuggets and does a combination of coughing and laughing. 

“Anyways,” he says, finally nugget free. “You coming or not? I don’t think I wanna sleep on the airport floor.”

“Yeah yeah, I’m coming. I’ll text you when I’m outside.” 

The airport was a forty five minute drive, thirty if you stepped on it and committed several traffic violations. 

Maybe that would make good content. 

You grabbed your keys and rushed out of your home, fully prepared to go fast and furious. You put your windows down, connected your phone to the aux and blasted Tokyo Drift as you merged into the freeway. 

Half an hour later, you’d arrived at a packed airport pick up area and texted Alex to let him know you’d arrived. He replied that he was starting to feel the effect of the chicken nuggets but that he would push through people to get out of the building before he caught anything from anyone.

Once you could make out his figure up ahead in front of the other cars, you got the bright idea to switch your music to something more interesting. You pulled up one of his videos where he was fully invested in a rendition of Hey There Delilah and honked excessively once you got closer to him. He looked around and pulled his beanie down lower to hide his face in embarrassment. 

You and the prerecorded Quackity sang in off key unison with the volume up as much as you could before he threw his luggage and bags into your backseat, hopped into the passenger seat and put the volume down.

“Never do that again.” 

“Hey, that was your welcome salute. I don’t do that for other people, you’re special and I like it.”

“Could you try liking me a little less? I could do without all the cringe covers.” He laughed to himself as he buckled up. 

The ride home consisted of a mix of very poor and impressive impressions of characters that would’ve annoyed nearly anyone else except you. Alex alternated from a gruff impression of Squidward to a raunchy Mickey Mouse that left you doubling over and gripping the steering wheel. You competed with him, doing your worst impression of Cookie Monster and Goofy. 

Your impression competition was interrupted by a phone call, Karl’s photo flashing flipped a panic switch in you as you scrambled to grab your phone. Alex takes your phone and extends his arm far from your reach. 

“Ah, ah, ah! No texting and driving! You want to kill us or something?!”

“I need to answer! What if he thinks I’m ignoring him?”

“I got it, I got it.” He assures, sliding the bar to unlock the phone and meet Karl face to face.

Karl makes a surprised sound, greeting Alex almost immediately. 

“Hey bub!” You chime in, keeping your eyes on the road but getting a glimpse of Karl in his frog outfit. 

“Hi! Sorry, I didn’t know you were driving.”

“No it’s okay! I’m just coming back from picking up this idiot.” 

“Who you calling idiot, dumbass?” Alex suddenly burst into his Mickey Mouse voice from earlier, ending it with the iconic Mickey laugh. 

Karl seemed to eat it up, breaking into laughter. It was infectious enough to make you chuckle. 

“You guys excited for the trip? It’s looking really pretty here this time of year. I can’t wait to show you around.”

“You mean show us your sweater collection?” Alex jabs.

You nudge him roughly to the side as a warning, glaring at him when he glances at you. 

You’d hoped that the change of scenery would do you some good. LA was an endless heap of  heat that you never could seem to escape. Not even with air conditioning. It was October already, which normally would mean Fall, orange leaves, pumpkins everywhere, a complete shift in temperature, right? Nope. 

It was the devil’s asshole all year round, something Alex could attest to. 

“Don’t mind him, I think he was dropped as a kid.”

“How dare you! There is nothing wrong with me, I’m perfect.”

“Ha! Sure. As if you don’t have a lot of things wrong with you.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

You tap at the time on your screen, “We don’t have enough time to get into it.”

You turn your attention back to Karl, very attentive to your bickering, small chuckles here and there. It wasn’t until he made eye contact with you that you felt your hands falter on the wheel. You were lucky enough that it didn’t make you stray away from the road. 

“Um - you know what? We’ll call you later, we’re almost home anyways.” 

“Okay! Be safe! Goodnight. ” Karl bids you both goodbye and poses his phone in front of him in order to hug it from afar, as if to hug both you and Alex. 

You groan to yourself, pretending to bang your head against the steering wheel as soon as you pull up to your complex. Alex laughs at your misery. 

“Oh man, you really are down BAD.”

“Shut up! I regret telling you things sometimes.” 

“No one said you had to! I guess I just have one of those faces.” He Chad swipes at his chin and squints at you.

“Yeah, punch able.” You remark with a quirk of your brow, slipping out of the car and heading to your front door. 

Alex follows, grabbing his things in a hurry before you can get the chance to lock him out and leave him to sleep with the coyotes. 

“Don’t leave me out here! I’m too delicious to die!” He cries.

You’re awoken by the feeling of warm sunlight on the left side of your face. You hesitate to move, feeling tired already even though you’re sure you slept longer than you should’ve. 

You prop yourself up by your elbows, shielding your face from the sun with your hand. You get out of bed groggily, staring at the floor for a second before making your way to the living room and finding Alex sleeping in a weird position. 

Amused, you rush back into your room and grab your phone to document this moment and post it on Twitter. However when you return, he’s gone. You lean over the couch to check if he’s hiding behind it but he’s nowhere to be found. 

You’re about to crouch to check for his feet or any sign of him when you feel fingers dig in your sides. You yelp in fear and surprise, smacking your attacker until he starts to yell in a shrill voice. 

Alex pushes you over the couch making you fall on your ass. 

“WHAT THE HELL?!” You scream. 

“That’s what you get for trying to take pictures of me!”

You try to stand, rubbing at your sore ass. “Ugh, what are you, a cryptid or something? The people have a right to see!”

“No one gets to see me in the morning! No one! I need my beauty sleep more than you.”

He extends a helping hand for you to take in a moment of truce but you take advantage and pull him down with you to land on his back. He groans when he hits the ground and curses at you in Spanish. 

“Play time’s over, we gotta get ready. The plane leaves in…..one hour????!” 

Your phone says it’s only nine in the morning but you hazily remember the tickets reading ten thirty. 

“No way! I have to take a shower, I have to order food….” He begins, counting on his fingers the various things he suddenly had to do but you stop him by running into your room and getting your bags. 

“No time! Brush your teeth, get dressed, I’ll buy us something at the airport.”

“NOOOO! Airport food is disgusting! Can’t we stop somewhere?” 

“Like I said, no time! We gotta be out of here in thirty minutes.”

He grumbles under his breath. 

“I heard that!” You yell behind you, grabbing a towel and turning on your shower. 

After Alex rummaged through your kitchen, stuffed himself with some snacks and an alarming amount of frozen food, you urged him to shower in the little time span you had left and ordered a ride to take you to the airport. 

You had to basically pull him away from putting on his finishing touches with his beanie, with him complaining that his hair wouldn’t settle under it the way he wanted. You rolled your eyes and shoved him and your stuff into the Uber and kissed California goodbye. 

You two started planning what you’d do in NC as soon as you landed, besides getting food. You could practically hear Alex’s stomach grumbling the whole drive to the airport and even after the Uber gave him some snacks.

There was a sense of urgency that made your stomach twist in knots until you’d arrived at the drop off section. You stuck your tickets in your pocket as you hurried Alex, dragging him and urging him to run faster than he’d ever imagined to catch the plane. 

With only minutes to spare, you didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you panted and tried to regain it once you were at the gate. Alex makes a joke about you being out of breath to the pretty attendant that you make a note of later, just in case he tried to flirt with her. 

Alex followed the attendant like a puppy while you popped your phone out from your pocket and snapped a photo of the plane. You debated sending it to Karl, not sure if wanting your boarding to be a surprise or not. You relented to posting it on Twitter and sending it to Karl. 

Big things coming ;) You tweeted, exiting out of the app as quickly as you’d posted it, knowing you’d be flooded with notifications. 

You switched over to message, sending it to Karl but unsure if he would be awake right now. Maybe it would make his day better. 

On our way! See you soon! :)) 

You ran to catch up with Alex, finding him still talking to the attendant. In the most bitchy voice you could muster, you hugged him from the side and nestled your head into his shoulder. 

“I’m so happy we’re going on vacation babe, thank you!” 

His face fell, the attendant suddenly losing interest and suggesting the two of you find your seats. You intertwine your hands with his and hold it up, making a joke about how you two were inseparable. 

He suppresses the urge to fight you and instead screams internally, whisper yelling to you as you both sit. “You couldn’t let me be a Chad once? Just once!” 

“That’s what you get for slamming me on my ass earlier.”

[popculturebuffet]

Goof Week: Goofy Birthday Shortstacular!

Hyuck all you happy people! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOOFY! The celebration already got on track today with a look at the two part goof troop pilot. You can find that here.  

That review kicked off GOOF WEEK my weeklong look at all things Goofy, but as is tradition on this blog the birthday of one of the big three wouldn’t’t be complete without a look at their theatrical shorts career. And with this one i’ve covered all three of Disney’s biggest stars having covered Donald last june (and will again next month) and Mickey in September so it’s long overdue that my boy gets a shot and even longer overdue I watched some of his classic shorts. 

A large part of why I started doing these is because I love classic theatrical shorts and the reason I love looking at the Disney ones is, unlike Looney Toons or Tom and Jerry, I didn’t grow up with these and Disney never replayed them. At most you’d get one or a small slice of one in a House of Mouse episode. So this is a fun way to dive right into history and see a piece of Disney I’ve only started scratching the surface of. 

This is a fun one too. I ended bumping this up to 12 shorts again, and i’m glad as it allowed me to take a look at some of the weirder stuff and we go all over the place: We have dancing, goofy begging for a smoke, goofy devlopnig a split personality that calls him fat a bunch, a prototypical max who is a LOT, trips to medevil times and cowboy times, a tex avery esque noir short, and the lead in short to National treasure. If any of that sounds like a real good time to you, then keep reading under the cut!

Mickey’s Revue (1933)

Goofy was created by his VA Pinto Colvig, who based the character on the local happy go lucky moron from his home town, and after a dicussion with Walt it was decided to roll him into Mickey’s growing supporting cast. 

My guess from here is they decided to do a dry run to make sure the character worked with audeinces before giving him a full time roll. Given Goofy’s been both a staple of Mickey’s supporting cast and often more popular than the mouse or even the duck, you can see how that went. 

Colvig was awesome. While Bill Farmer is my preferred Goofy, I still tip my hat to the original and it’s clear this was a character he was born t play and it shows: a lot of characters take a short or too to really find their personality. Goofy.. has his early shorts persona straight out of the box> The only weird thing is he’s an ol dman here.. but otherwise his schick here, loudly eating peanuts, laughing a bit too loud and annoying everyone around him with no genuine malice.. that’s Goofy and Pinto really hit onto something and as we’ll see today had a TON of range beyond this. 

As for the rest of the short.. it’s forgetable. It’s not BAD, but it’s just Mickey and friends capering on stage. Nothing really out of the oridnary for these early Mickey Shorts, especially since some of them could get really damn creative.

The Whoopee Party (1933)

Now we have Goofy’s first proper appearance, going from joke character in the crowd to full member of Mickey’s friend group. 

This one is also just okay, but better than the last: Mickey and friends throw a wild party, with Mickey, Goofy and Horace making the sammiches. Goofy dosen’t do much btu gets a good gag or two, and overall it’s alright. Enjoyabl efor it’s lively animation and not much else. 

Goofy and Wilbur (1936) Three years later we get Goofy’s proper debut, a cute short about him using his Cricket friend to fish. That’s not the exestitnal nightmare that it sounds like mind you as Wilbur simply tricks them into Goofy’s net an donly gets eaten when they catch on and Goofy runs to his aid. The short really is more about Wilbur but it’s fair: like with Donald , who was paired with Pluto in his first solo short, they wanted to test the waters before having Goofy carry a cartoon himself. As we’ll see he very well could, but it’s fair to want ot backdor pilot it first and it’s easily one of the best shorts of today’s batch.

How to Play Baseball (1937)

First off while they make a good effort I already know how ot play baseball short...

How To Play Baseball is my faviorite of the Goofy Shorts on Disney Plus, which is a VERY small batch. Especailly since most of Today’s shorts aren’t at all problematic or inapproriate for kids. This one is a gem though. It’s one of the How To Shorts where a narrator goes ove rgoofy trying and failing at an activity though this one’s a tad diffrent. 

 The How To Narrator teaches us about baseball before narrating the world series game. It’s full of cleve slapstick, high speed animation and plain fun. It’s also part of the trend that would dominate Goofy’s sports career of putting him in whatever roll the shorts needed. Here he’s everyone at once, others he’s his old goofy self, other time sh’es just a normal joe. But Colvig does every version amazingly, so it all meshes and that general goofy design is so appealing it just WORKS.  So yeah while i’m not into sports I do genuinely love the How To shorts, as they were my faviorite part of House of Mouse and still are, and the originals are every bit as classic as their reputation says they are. 

A Knight For A Day (1946)

This one is the only other one of these on Disney Plus and it’s decent enough. Nothing incredibble or extra specail: Goofy plays a Squire who has to fil lin for his Knight in a tournament and tries to win a princesses hand against another douchier goofy. Simple stuff iwth some fun gags, but it just dosen’t feel all that fresh, especially since Disney already did a much better shorts with knights with Mickey’s “Ye Olden Days”. It just dosen’t feel as fun or creative as that one was btu on it’s own it’s fine. Nothing great, nothing terrible, just fine. First short of the day to feature Goofy’s faceless blonde love interest who in domestic shorts is his wife and by the same extension Max’s now dead mother. 

Tomorrow We Diet (1951)

We’ve got three from 1951 here. By this point Goofy had traditioned from lovable bumbler to every man, taking on a more generalized personality to fit into every day slice of life scenarios, using those to brilliantly contrast the goofy animated comedy with the more mundane setting it comes from. And sometimes it’s just straight up sticom humor with the ocasoinal joke you could only do in a cartoon.  And sometimes.. you get a version of Goofy who lives in a mirror taunting Goofy over being fat and then trying to keep him on his diet while it’s not clear if thi sis a split personality, a mirror ghost tormenting him that took his form and is doing this so Goofy breaks the mirror and frees him, or his evil doppleganger from another universe. 

Yeah .. one of the centerpieces of this short is Goofy’s reflection/split personality/earth 3 doppleganger/some sort of evil genie taunt shim abotu the fact he’s putting on weight startnig by saying “Hey Fat”... because apparently in this unvierse the best weight joke they can come up with is literally just calling someone fat. I bet I know who rules THIS timeline with an iron fist....

The first half of this short is Goofy being told he’s fat by a bunch of people and the second half is his hallucination/psychotic break/guardian asshole tormenting him with the diet. And I do mean tormenting: He knocks away all of Goofy’s food, then suggests he not even eat his carrot and STARVE himself, which is just deeply unhealthy, and earlier forces Goofy to let him read his book and then tell shim to just diet anyway. Which granted dieting IS sensible.

So yeah this short as you can probably guess by the fact it involves the term “Hey Fat” which was only said by a human being once.. Dick Kinney or Mick Shaffer, the writers of ths short,  when one pitched the line to the other and they laughed for some reason and put it in the script. But with that you can wager this short is REALLY outdated> Overating CAN be a problem and fat shaming still exists, but it’s far less tolerated and far less of a thing.

And hell I can tolerate a good natured weight joke, the Critic had some great ones, especially as a fat guy myself... but this isn’t good natured. The entire joke is, as the man said above HE’S FAT.. So as a legit short. it’s deeply unfunny at best, horribly insulting at worst. But as a so bad it’s good short? it’s GOLD. From the whole mirror goofy thing, to the fact fat is seen as a legit insult here or something to just call fat people because that’s what the writers thoguht humans, even in the 50′s talked like it’s just riffably cruel.. though it will obviously depend onthe viewers tolerance for both fat jokes and how creepy the short can be and again as a short it sucks. As something to be mocked for fun.. it’s fat with potential

Father’s Are People (1951)

Hey Kids you wanna see Max and Goofy reenact Problem Child? 

Given I did Goof Troop earlier this week and i’m finishing this week with A Goofy Movie, it shouldn’t come as a huge shocker that I wanted to cover the first short with Goofy’s son Juinor, who’d later be remolded into Max. 

The short STARTS promising with Goofy having a kid and the hyjinks that comes from having a baby child: Goofy passes out Cigars because Lung Cancer was the preferred way of celebrating having a child in the 50′s, runs himself ragid helping out, which I give the short credit for as “Donald’s Diary” three years later would play a man helping a woman around the house for horror. Here George (Goofy would often go by George Geef in later shorts) pitches in and while he’s clearly exausted he is trying to help with the boy. 

It takes a turn though once we jump ahead to a toddler Junior. Seriously a red head named junior... there’s no way that’s a coincidence. Anyways, the problem is unlike problem child, where Junor dosen’t really go after his dad but the assholes around his pushover dad who genuinely deserve it, this Junior goes after Goofy who at wors tis mildly negelectful but clearly loves his boy> He also DOES try to take a brus hto the kid... but it’s hard to be too mad about that as it was acceptable at the time and he dosen’t actually paddle a three year old. It’s like a less horrfying version of donald puttin ga penguin to a shotguns face in that the targeted party dosen’t see the threat and that goofy isn’t some form of sociopath in this short like Donald was there. It’s just not very funny and only worth watching at all for the historical value. 

No Smoking! (1951) (Patreon Selection by WeirdKev27)

This is my first of two Patreon selections, my patreon is here if you want to chip in a buck to pick a short for Donald’s birthday next month, by longtime friend and backer of the blog Kev. He suggested this one for the sheer absurdity of Goofy smooking.. and was right on the money> This one is DELGITHFUL. 

It works on two levels: it works on the modern level of seeing such an iconic cartoon grapple with trying to quit smoking, first smoknig so constantly a giant cloud appears over him and he has about 80 cigs in his mouth at once, but then trying to quit and being surrounded bycigs before finally DESPERATELY begging for one. As I discovered you really HAVEN’T lived till you’ve heard goofy madly call out “Smoke, smoke gotta have a smoke”. 

But while the novelty IS great.. it’s also just a good cartoon. Outside of some blatant racisim at the start, with a native american sterotype introducing smoking to colmbus which feels so wrong to type I need a shower and really puts a damper on the short which after that.. is just really funny. From the smoking through the ages, to the very creative smoking gags it’s just fun.. and it is CLEARLY anti-smoking, showing both the insane amount of cigrte smoker can go through and how mad the addiction can drive you. It’s not bad... though if you can’t stomach the blatant and terrible racisim.. I get that and it’s fair. 

Two Gun Goofy (1952)

This is one of two “put Goofy in another setting all together” pieces, both in the same year which tells me they were trying to find new stuff to do for Goofy. Thi sisn’t unheard of in cartoons: Around the same time and before Bugs Bunny went all over the world and thorugh time and space, and Mickey went through the looking glass and had two fantasy shorts, so i’ts not unusual

But what IS neat about these next two shorts is they combined the two goofys: he has his goofy demanor and oblivoiusness from the classic shorts, but still has his deeper, slightly less goofy voice from the everyman shorts and is still treated as an average joe, just one now undertaking genre careers, here a cowboy and next a detective

This short is decent. I’m a sucker for cowboy episodes apparently: either old west style showdowns or having the characters go to a dude ranch or something. So naturally I picked this one and was told Max was in it an dhe is... in a two second cameo when Goofy has a thought bubble after meeting faceless lady.

But this is a really enjoyable picture. not Disne’y sbest but good stuff. It also pairs Goofy with pete which really is a perfect pairing, putting our scowling rotund villian against our skinny well meaning hero. And while i’ts a common gag in a lto of things I do love Goofy accidently beating the shit out of pete as the short finds fun ways to do it. All in all worth a watch. 

How to Be a Detective (1952)

This one was a REALLY fun one. Like with westerns i’m a sucker for a good noir parody, even if ironically I haven’t watched much of either genre proper. Add in the fact this is clearly inspiried by Tex Avery’s work and i’m sold on this fun madcap romp with an approraitely more noirsh narrator. 

Goofy is naturally a detective and hired by the faceless woman to find “Al” having to contend with both a goon he keeps failing to recognize and The Chief of Police, played by Pete, who keeps telling him “I told ya to stay off the case Goof!”. It’s just the delivery makes it funny any time he says it as does his instance... and the punchline, which I won’t spoil to both that an dthe overaching mystery i sa gem. This one’s on youtube, seek it out, it’s damn fun. Before I go thoguh I also love how Goofy is Given “Goof Balls”. Yes GOOFY GETS DRUGGED and I am here for it

Father’s Day Out (1953)

I couldn’t find any GIF’s for this one, not even one’s in teh same tag that were unrelated so here, have more smoking Goofy. It will never not be funny.

This one is ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhtastic. Goofy is overworked, wnats to rest on his weeknd, and stuff gets in the way. Oh and halfway through he abrubtly has to take Max to the beach. It’s.. not much honestly. It’s like the simpsons if it wasn’t funny. 

How To Hook Up Your Home Theater (2007) (Emma Fici Patreon Selection)

You may notice the MASSIVE time jump here. That’s because while Disney still does theatrical shorts nowadays, in part because Pixar’s shorts turned out to be a huge hit, they almost never use the classic cast. This delightful anamoly is one of the few exceptions and was picked by Emma out of sheer curosity. And she picked well this short is fun, feelnig like a big budget version of the House of Mouse How To Shorts I loved so an dhaving a modern yet still ultimatley timeless subject: while the tech featured is missin ga streaming box and 4k, otherwise it really has aged incredibly well and getting all the diffrent modes set up and what not is a hassel we al lcan agree with. 

It’s a fun short with lots of good gags and humor as Goofy tries to set up his Home Theater before the big game, and worth a watch. Weirdly not on Disney+ though try explaining that one. 

One final note is for whatever reason this was paired up with National Treasure: Book of Secrets. 

My BEST GUESS i sthat it appeals to the kinds of dads who’d watch National Traesure: Book of Secrets as well as kids since it’s an adventure film. Though it now makes me want to see Nicholas Cage voice goofy. Get on it Disney. Not forever though, Bill’s a treasure. Just for a gag like Don Cheadle vocing Donald.. oh god put them together.. and then have them do a movie together I don’t think they have and do not know why. 

Final Ranking: As a bit of added fun to close this out and as a new feature for these i’m ranking today’s shorts from best to worst How To Be A Detective How To Play Baseball No Smoking Goofy and WIlbur How To Hook Up Your Home Theater Two Gun Goofy The Whoopee Party Mickey’s Revue Tommorow We Diet A Knight for A Day Father’s Are People Father’s Weekend

For the record despite not being a GOOD short Tommorow we diet is at least intresting, hence i’ts ranknig while Father’s weekend is just a boring 50′s version of problem child. Fathers are People at least has some good gags to set it off. 

So thank you for reading and if you liked this review give it a like and consider joining my patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet. As a patron you’d get access to exclusive reviews, the patreon’s discord and to pick a short each time I do one of these shortstaculars. Donald’s comnig next month and the deadline is in only a few days to join up for said month so the clock is ticking. Even a dollar a month helps me reach my stretch goals so please i fyou can sign up today and if not, I understand and i’ll see you at the next rainbow

[aion-rsa]

Best Serial Killer Movies of the ’90s Ranked

https://ift.tt/3tcsgCf

Someone must have left the freezer door in the morgue open, because grisly reminders of the past are thawing before our eyes. You can see it this weekend with the release of John Lee Hancock’s The Little Things, a throwback to the days when movie stars hung out at crime scenes instead of in spandex, and it’ll be more apparent next month with the launch of Clarice, a television spinoff of 1991’s The Silence of the Lambs. All the evidence points to only one conclusion: the serial killer thrillers of the ‘90s are back!

Not that we’re complaining. For a macabre minute or two, every Hollywood name appeared eager to play either the detective or the killer—the hunter or the obsessed, which often proved interchangeable for both characters. Granted that means there can be something formulaic about many of these movies. Yet they can also be bleak, hard-edged, and ambiguous. From our modern gaze, where the dominant studio conventions prefer reassuring morality tales and sunny lighting, these movies’ preference for shadows and discomfort in the mainstream is kind of startling.

So grab your magnifying glass and fortify your stomach, because we’re about to revisit some of the best (and worst) of ‘90s serial killer thrillers. (Also this list is strictly for the decade when the genre was at its height and it excludes slasher movies like Scream, which may feature serial killers but were not exactly adult-oriented thrillers.)

12. Eye of the Beholder (1999)

Eye of the Beholder is a tonal oddity that only passingly flirts with the conventions of ‘90s serial killer thrillers, all while it tries to pay homage to (read: rip-off) Alfred Hitchcock. But any credit it deserves for deviation—including making Ashley Judd’s central femme fatale the killer—it loses in execution. As a muddied, impenetrable tale about an intelligence officer (Ewan McGregor) who spies on and falls in love with a serial killer, Eye of the Beholder is a scattershot of bad ideas that run the gamut from ludicrous to misogynistic.

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but this movie will close the lids over your pupils inside of 30 minutes.

11. Nightwatch (1997)

It feels a little mean to rag on Ewan McGregor back-to-back, but maybe serial killer movies just aren’t his genre? That could be at least one takeaway from an ill-advised double feature of Eye of the Beholder and Nightwatch, the latter of which is a remake of a 1994 Danish film that I’ve not seen… and probably won’t since both the original film and American remake are directed by the same man.

McGregor plays medical student Martin here, a kid who gets an after school job by becoming the night watch security at the local morgue. But as a series of grisly prostitute murders pile up, Martin realizes he needs to figure out who the killer is—that or continue to be framed by the necrophiliac fiend who keeps coming by the morgue for one last liaison. It’s exactly as skeevy as it sounds. Do yourself a favor and go your whole life without hearing Nick Nolte sing “This Old Man” while climbing onto a corpse.

10. Natural Born Killers (1994)

The movie that Quentin Tarantino disowned, Natural Born Killers is a seedy mess based on a Tarantino script that was heavily rewritten by Oliver Stone, David Veloz, and Richard Rutowski. The concept itself is a seemingly inevitable escalation of the “bad romance outlaws” archetype that’s been floating around Hollywood since at least 1950’s Gun Crazy, and which was then made iconic by Bonnie & Clyde (1967).

But whereas those films relied on bank robbers living fast, Natural Born Killers descends into a seeming final form with Mickey and Mallory (Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis) as giddy serial killers who are eventually out for maximum carnage. Technically the pair are supposed to be presented as victims of traumatic child abuse—and who are then wrongfully glorified by the media. But Stone’s sloppy and tanked vision lacks the discipline to achieve anything beyond its maliciousness. Early sequences imagining Mallory’s abusive childhood like it’s a television sitcom, and later psychedelic visions of Robert Downey Jr.’s opportunistic news reporter as the Devil, do little to divorce the film from its shallow self-satisfaction in close-ups of heads being shot.

The movie came under controversy in the years after its release for inspiring alleged copycat killers as well as school shooters. It feels irresponsible to blame media for actual violence, but it’s still quite an indictment that Stone’s attempt to criticize media glorification became a favorite for many a disturbed individual with a gun.

9. Kiss the Girls (1997)

When studying competent, middle of the road Hollywood thrillers, Kiss the Girls is a solid place to start. As a decently made bit of studio convention, the movie is anchored by strong elements like Morgan Freeman as James Paterson’s literary hero, Alex Cross, and Ashley Judd as Kate, the victim who survives a masked killer’s attempt to abduct her into his harem.

Moments like Kate’s escape sequence through the North Carolina wilderness are effectively filled with adrenaline, and Judd particularly gives the salacious piece conviction. However, it is salacious to a fault. Even if the movie toned down the source novel’s even more lurid misogyny, the film studies Kate and the other victims with a lascivious male gaze, blurring sex with violence, real world horror with leering entertainment. Right down to its title, the film can be rightly criticized as Hollywood glamourizing another story about violence against women. Whether that damns the whole movie depends on the viewer, but it certainly keeps it low on our list.

8. The Bone Collector (1999)

Marketed with a hell of a tagline about there being thousands of taxi cabs in New York City that’ll get you home—and one that won’t—The Bone Collector is almost comically slavish to the clichés of ‘90s moviemaking. The wrinkle here is that after a faux cab driver begins abducting his victims off the street, the crime psychologist who must stop him is entirely stuck by his bedside. Due to a tragic accident, Denzel Washington’s Lincoln Rhyme is paralyzed from the neck down. Yet he is still able to catch serial killers by communicating in the earpiece of police officer Amelia Donaghy (an entirely unconvincing Angelina Jolie).

Read more

Movies

Lost Girls Review: Netflix Takes on the Long Island Serial Killer

By Rosie Fletcher

Books

The Last Book on the Left Takes on the Grim History of Serial Killers

By Alec Bojalad

Together the pair stay one step behind the mystery killer’s tracks as he executes a series of increasingly gruesome and ridiculous murders. It’s preposterous, and in some ways a forerunner for Saw with the satisfaction it takes in absurd death traps, but Washington is effortlessly compelling, even when he never leaves his apartment. As a bit of absurd Hollywood fluff, right down to the ultimately lackluster unmasking of the killer, it can be entertaining, even if you’ll deny it afterward.

7. Copycat (1995)

More potent than I remembered, Copycat is a genuinely well-crafted Hollywood thriller that may not reinvent the wheel but takes it out for a damn good spin. In the driver’s seat is Sigourney Weaver as Dr. Helen Hudson, a criminal psychologist who is an expert on serial killers until one follows her into the bathroom after a guest lecture. He nearly hangs her from the ceiling. Following that white-knuckled opening, the film jumps years ahead and Helen has become agoraphobic and afraid to leave her home.

Yet when a local series of murders reveal the pattern of a predator imitating the methods of his favorite “celebrities”—one crime scene is like the Boston Strangler and another emulates the horrors of Jeffrey Dahmer—Helen is pulled out of retirement by a no-nonsense detective (Holly Hunter). The winning chemistry between Weaver and Hunter—who are refreshingly free from the studio-mandated romantic subplots in some of the other movies on this list—and the blunt force power of their performances aid this sincerely disquieting flick. A needlessly convoluted third act aside, the movie still works as a warning about the danger of fanboys a generation early.

6. Fallen (1998)

Denzel Washington appears again thanks to this clever supernatural spin on the serial killer genre. At the beginning of Fallen, Washington’s John Hobbes appears on top of the world. The serial killer he chased for years (Elias Koteas) is about to breathe deeply in the gas chamber. Yet after the lever is pulled, and with Koteas singing the Rolling Stones’ “Time is On My Side” until his last breath, a funny thing happens: the murders continue.

In fact, more than just the killings, strangers in the street sing “Time is On My Side” in Hobbes’ ear, and he soon realizes that he faces a devil of a killer whose been operating since the beginning—quite literally since the villain is a demon who was once an angel that fell with Lucifer. It’s a bizarre premise given strutting confidence thanks to Washington’s performance, as well as good supporting work by John Goodman and Donald Sutherland. Twenty years later and its ending still sticks with me.

5. The Exorcist III (1990)

If you haven’t seen The Exorcist III, we know what you’re thinking: “Really?!” Yes. In fact, this isn’t even an exorcist movie; it should’ve been titled Legion like the 1983 novel it’s based on. Alas writer-director William Peter Blatty was forced to use the title and do reshoots that added an exorcism in the climax. Still, this supernatural thriller which involves a serial killer back from the dead is far better than it has any right to be.

Following the character of Lt. Kinderman from the 1973 masterpiece, the middle-aged gumshoe is now played by George C. Scott instead of the late Lee J. Cobb, and he possesses Scott’s usual love for contrasts between the restrained whisper and a bombastic howl. He also makes a sympathetic, secular detective forced to face the horrors of Hell when a series of murders committed against Catholic priests appear to be the work of the Gemini Killer (Brad Dourif), a serial killer whom Kinderman sent to the chair more than 10 years ago.

Read more

Movies

The Exorcist III is a Classic and Better Than You Remember

By Jim Knipfel

Movies

The Exorcist Is Still the Scariest Movie Ever Made

By David Crow

Somehow the fiend—plus Kinderman’s long dead pal Father Damien Karras (Jason Miller)—appear to now be living in the same body of a John Doe kept in a mental asylum. With an unrelenting atmosphere of dread, palpable tension, and more of Blatty’s intellectual struggle with concepts of faith and evil, the film is more high-minded than its hacky title suggests. It also features one of the best jump scares in movie history.

4. Summer of Sam (1999)

The only movie on this list directly based on an actual serial killer’s crimes, Spike Lee’s Summer of Sam is a serious-minded joint. However, it’s only partially about the murders perpetrated by David Berkowitz, aka the “.44 Caliber Killer,” aka the Son of Sam. Rather the film focuses on the effects a serial killer has on the culture of New York City during the sweltering summer of 1977, and how it affects young lives trying to make it in the big city.

Influenced by Lee and his co-writers Michael Imperioli and Victor Colicchio’s memories of growing up in 1970s New York, the pic is a love letter to a grim moment in history when the city was about to explode with murders, blackouts, crime, and disco. All of this is digested from the vantages of Vinny (John Leguizamo), a philandering hairdresser guilt-ridden for cheating on his wife (Mira Sorvino), and his childhood pal Ritchie (Adrien Brody), who’s left the old neighborhood behind to join the fledgling punk rock scene.

With a greater interest in how a serial killer affects the culture and institutions of a city on edge than being a traditional crime drama, Summer of Sam is a bit of a forerunner to David Fincher’s far more polished Zodiac from a few years later. With heavy-handed dialogue and a plot too big for Lee to fully get his arms around, even at 142 minutes, Summer of Sam can be uneven and messy. But it has the sweaty incorrigibility of a long night out, and of revelries half remembered like from a fever dream.

3. The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)

The rare serial killer movie told entirely from the perspective of the killer, Anthony Minghella’s The Talented Mr. Ripley is disarmingly creepy. Despite its glossy awards bait sheen, there is a cold-blooded streak that runs deep to the heart of the piece, likely due to Patricia Highsmith’s source 1955 novel. Starring Matt Damon fresh off his Good Will Hunting golden boy sheen, the film uses its casting to disorient and ultimately disturb.

Like Highsmith’s book, the film is not structured like a traditional thriller. It instead favors a detached ambivalence about its seemingly nebbish hero as he agrees to become an errand boy for the rich by traveling to 1950s Italy in order to retrieve a silver spoon cad (Jude Law) for his father. But the more time Tom Ripley (Damon) spends with Law’s Dickie Greenleaf, the more he grows envious of Dickie’s lifestyle, his wealth and confidence, and maybe even his affection for socialite Marge (Gwyneth Paltrow). There is a subtle—too subtle due to ‘90s Hollywood conventions—homoerotic undercurrent throughout the film as Ripley slowly works up the courage to take his first life. It won’t be his last.

Read more

Movies

Knives Out: When Murder Makes You a Better Person

By Natalie Zutter

Movies

Seven: The Brilliance of David Fincher’s Chase Scene

By Ryan Lambie

Highsmith wound up publishing four subsequent sequels to The Talented Mr. Ripley, but unfortunately no more were made with Damon. Perhaps because this was too unsettling for an ongoing franchise.

2. Seven (1995)

While watching David Fincher’s masterful Seven, the thing that immediately stands out is the oppressive nihilism that permeates throughout. There were decades of neo noir before this detective yarn about the hunt for a serial killer, but none demonstrated such an overbearing sense of despair before the opening credits were even concluded. And perhaps what makes it unshakable is how welcoming the film is toward bleakness; it succumbs long before the gut-punch finale.

Telling the story of an old cop days from retirement (Morgan Freeman) and a hotheaded rookie detective (Brad Pitt), Andrew Kevin Walker’s script has an economy of pace that still impresses despite its cynicism. Very quickly one murder becomes two, then three, and soon four. Yet none of the atrocities are reveled in by Fincher’s blocking; they’re off-screen mutilations which leave psychic damage on his two leads and, eventually, us. The deaths also quickly establish a pattern that their serial killer is targeting seven souls, each intended to embody one of the seven deadly sins.

The movie is a classic now for its climax where the killer “John Doe” (a reptilian Kevin Spacey) turns himself in and leads the cops into the darkest pit, but it’s the entire package that makes this one linger more than 25 years later. At the end of the film, Somerset quotes Hemingway by saying, “‘The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.’ I agree with the second part.” I’m not convinced his film does.

1. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

As the film that kick-started the idea that serial killers could create their own film genre, The Silence of the Lambs still remains the best of its kind. Blessedly unaware that it was creating conventions for countless copycats, the film tells its psychological drama with simplicity and clarity. Whereas other films on this list bask in their bleakness, there is a dogged optimism and even perverse warmth to this Jonathan Demme adaptation of Thomas Harris’ Silence of the Lambs novel. And that’s of course largely attributable to the casting of Anthony Hopkins and Jodie Foster.

As Dr. Hannibal Lecter, Hopkins is of course monumental. It’s a performance that turned a quinquagenarian into an overnight movie star, and became Hopkins’ calling card as he returned to the not-so-good doctor’s well one too many times. Still, he’s undeniably enthralling as Hannibal, a cannibal psychologist with superhuman powers of observation and mental menace. Even so, Foster is often overlooked by critics for her own contributions as the FBI trainee who’s proverbially fed to the incarcerated Lecter—a pretty face to get the serial killer to consult pro bono on the crimes of another mass murderer. It’s just one more example of casual sexism faced by Clarice that gives Foster as much to play as Hopkins.

Read more

Culture

David Fincher’s Zodiac: The Movie That Never Ended

By Don Kaye

Movies

The Little Things Ending Explained

By David Crow

Surrounded by the slights and prejudices of men—be they in law enforcement or straight jackets—Clarice is constantly underestimated. She finds an intellectual rapport with Hannibal, but she pulls herself out of the darkest night, and the screaming of the lambs, without assistance. Her perseverance matched by Hannibal’s darkly seductive qualities is the juxtaposition that makes Silence of the Lambs one of the finest films of its decade.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The post Best Serial Killer Movies of the ’90s Ranked appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3r5iYGk

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

What Might Have Been - 16

@goodomenscelebration​ - themes prompts!

Read the full story on AO3!

Happy Good Omens Armageddoniversary! How many of these can I post in one day?

(For those who have not read previous sections: Kasbeel is our Aziraphale, trapped in another universe and going by a pseudonym. Crowley’s “mirror image” is his AU self.)

Far Future

Kasbeel hovered in the air, giving his report.

“The demonic army attempted to strike from the Scottish Highlands, reinforced by several thousand of the Marked soldiers. They were driven off by Matafiel’s troops. We believe there may be some still hidden far to the north, on the Outer Hebrides.”

“These names mean nothing to us,” said Tufriel, rolling his eyes towards his partner. “Some of these scouts are starting to go native.”

“Won’t be a problem much longer,” Bezaliel replied. “Never mind the demons, we’ll get an update further north. Is this land still free from the blight?”

“Yes, Dominion,” Kasbeel bobbed his head with the correct amount of deference. “The whole of the Peak District is believed to be the last area free of Abaddon’s curse anywhere on this island, though rumors persist of some clear ground in Ireland.”

“Are there any humans left on the islands?” Bezaliel asked.

“The Retrieval squads took ours and we cleared out the rest last month.” Tufriel crossed his arms. “If only this island were so easy to deal with. Still, if this is the only unblemished land, it’s probably where the humans will gather. Once they realize they can’t get in the city. We’ll keep watching it. Good work.”

“Thank you.” He held up his messenger tube, sealed and directed to Michael’s base camp in Cornwall. “I will need to continue south with this. Do you have any details to add?”

“Only that I thought we’d be finished by now. Seven damn years of this. How much longer is it supposed to go on, anyway?”

Bezaliel grinned hungrily. “Not much more. Our offensive should begin in a little less than a month.” A wink towards the dutiful scout. “Keep an eye on the sky, tonight or tomorrow. Things are starting to happen.”

Kasbeel saluted, and the other two returned to their patrol. When they were well out of sight, he landed on a bare rock outcrop and hummed. Not with his lips; his wings vibrated, creating a single, perfect tone, echoing off the stones of the Peaks.

The humans began emerging from their hiding spots almost immediately, secreted behind stones or in deceptive hollows. Mostly teenagers, a few older, many younger, about half with a Mark upon their faces. They gathered around the angel, moving silently on the grass and moss.

It took nearly an hour for all to arrive. Kasbeel’s group of wanderers now numbered in the hundreds.

“Doesn’t sound like we’re going to be safe up here much longer,” Lyla said, without preamble. “Probably should have left last week, like I said.”

“Perhaps,” Kasbeel conceded, waving his arm to miracle up some food. It wasn’t much. Loaves of bread, potatoes, carrots. A little bit of meat, but he couldn’t produce anywhere near enough for a group this large. “But if we’d left then, Jennifer, Mickey and Ollie wouldn’t have found us.” At only five years old, Ollie was the youngest they’d taken in.

“Fine.” Lyla counted out the servings of meat and checked her list. “Group six gets the meat tonight. Only group six, Alex, I know that doesn’t include you.” She turned back to the angel who led them. “But we leave tonight.”

“Agreed.” He sighed, looking around the tumbling rocks one more time. “We’ll have to move quickly. This was a good hiding place. We won’t find another place this convenient, or this safe.”

“Where to, then?” Lyla grabbed Alex’s wrist, sending the thirteen-year-old over to the bread line. “Ireland? I don’t know how we’ll cross the sea, but it sounds like they’ve stopped looking there.”

Kasbeel pursed his lips. “Have you given up on finding New Eden, then?”

She spun towards him, fury in her eyes. “You know I haven’t. But it could be anywhere in the world! How the hell are we ever going to find it? We’ve barely searched half of England in over three years.”

He winced. “Three years, four months, six days,” he muttered. It was a very, very long time to go without hearing from Crowley. He’d tried contacting the demon in his dreams, over and over. He was here. He could sense that. But nothing else. “It’s in England. It must be. One of the patrols told me…Aziraphale,” he hesitated over the name, as always, “chose the location himself. He wouldn’t pick anywhere other than England.”

“Your double.” Lyla sat down next to him. She had grown, in the last three years, her hair getting long, her clothing replaced by whatever they could loot in half-abandoned cities, as was the case for all Kasbeel’s wards. Even her newest shirt was threadbare, the colors faded, as if the inanimate objects of the world had ceased to care. “You never told me what the deal was with you two.”

“No. I think it would be rather too much for you to understand.”

“Kasbeel, the world is ending. The ground is cursed. And I spend half my time talking to a rogue angel. What could possibly be weird at this point?”

He smiled. “My child, you haven’t the first idea.” He smoothed his hands down his jacket, then realized he was still in his scout uniform. A wave of his fingers turned it back to the familiar suit, bowtie and all. “Still, if you like, I can bring you all to Ireland before I continue my search. It should only take a few days to reach the coast, even with the young ones. After that…” he hesitated. Miracle up a giant ship? And how to make sure it landed somewhere unblighted?

“You know we won’t last a day without you,” Lyla sighed. “Wherever you’re going, you’re stuck with us.”

He turned back to the crowd that he had slowly gathered across the years. Orphans. Renegades. Many of them troublemakers who had been thrown out of the gangs they thought would protect them, others the only survivors by angelic or demonic attack. Exhausted, half-malnourished, so worn and dirty as to almost blend in with the rocks around them.

But not afraid. Of all the people left in the world, and Kasbeel feared there were not many, these few hundred slept safely at night, under the watch of an angel.

His godchildren.

“My dear Lyla, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He settled down on a rock that conveniently grew to about the size of an armchair, with a thick cushion of moss.

She rolled her eyes at him. “How is it even out here, you manage to pamper yourself?”

“Millennia of practice. Now, what do you say we try for London again? It’s a risk, with all the patrols, but it may be the only place large enough to hide this many.”

“Assuming we can get in.”

“Assuming so, yes,” he said, gazing across the crowd. “And it sounds like there are many angels gathered in the south. But If I’m right about the wall of energy surrounding the city, I may know how to cross it.”

“And you still think your friend might be there.”

Kasbeel nodded. “I can’t imagine where else he might be. He should have contacted me by now, but they say no messages can get out of London. But, still, I would think–”

A cry went up from the gathered crowd, a scream of fear, echoed by person after person. “The sky!” Someone shouted, pointing. “The clouds are parting!”

In an instant, Kasbeel was on his feet, wings spread. He should have heard the trumpets, sensed the angels long before they parted the clouds – he had spent months honing his senses, in order to protect his charges. He braced himself for the orders that would arrive in his mind; if the Guardian of Humanity were among them, it would be difficult to resist…

Nothing came.

Instead, the clouds simply drifted apart, faster and faster, not a small parting but the whole sky, revealing the fading blue of twilight, deepening to black. Stars pierced the sky, just a few at first, but each bright as a jewel, clearer than he could ever remember them being, even in Heaven.

“Oh my God…” Lyla whispered, stepping next to him. “It’s clear. It hasn’t been clear since…since the war…I was a kid…”

Another star seemed to burst into view, white and shining, and Kasbeel fell to his knees, remembering…remembering a cottage in the South Downs, a blanket in the back garden, laying on his back and watching them arrive, while next to him…next to him…

That one’s Regulus. Not one of mine, Angel, that was some snooty wanker who thought he was so clever just because he could get four stars to orbit each other. And over there is Arcturus. Also technically not mine, but I had this really great idea and I needed a red giant to test it out on. It worked, by the way, so keep an eye out for a helium flash in the next thousand years or so…

It hurt, like being pierced by a spear, like being torn apart. He reached out a hand, grasping, wishing to feel Crowley, lying at his left side, as he always was, his protector, his partner, his friend…

A small hand caught his, wrapping around his fingers. He turned, blinking tears from his eyes, to see Lyla, kneeling beside him. A moment later the others started gathering around. Mickey, Rahima, Alex, Lochlan, Mariah, Amiyah, Dominic, Ollie, and so many more.

“Look,” Kasbeel said, pointing at the sky. “That star there. That’s Regulus. And over there…that one is named Arcturus…”

--

Far away, in a cell that seemed to exist in its own bubble far from anything else, Crowley snapped awake, emerging from a dream that was slightly less painful than reality.

Something had changed.

He could feel it, deep inside. Something that had been missing, suddenly returned.

“It’s the stars,” said his mirror image, across the cell. Shoftiel had left them both in their human bodies this time. The manacles that held their wrists – Crowley’s left, his mirror image’s right – were too short to lay down comfortably, so they both sprawled against their walls.

They didn’t talk much. The secrets they held were the only things keeping them alive. So they simply existed, here, together, witnessing each other’s pain and humiliation, waiting for their own turns. It bonded them in ways conversation never could.

“The sky is clear again,” the mirror image continued, looking up at the ceiling, lost to the dark above. “I wish I could see it.”

“Yeah,” Crowley said, allowing himself to remember a night on a blanket in a garden, just for a moment. “Me, too.”

“Not long now,” the mirror image said. “Seven years. That’s all it ever was.” His eyes met Crowley’s, and they were full of fear. They couldn’t hide their emotions without the glasses, and that was one thing they were never allowed. “If the stars are back, time’s nearly up.”

“So they’ve…learned everything?” It wasn’t something they asked each other. But if it was the end, Crowley wanted to know.

“Just one secret left.” The mirror image rolled his head, with a broken version of Crowley’s smile. “How to get into London.”

[koganphrancis]

And Now Shameless Slanders The Littlest Milkovich?  FUCK YOU

My recap of Season H8 Episode H8

They really had Vee refer to Yevgeny as a “little psychopath”, just to retcon every decent Milkovich that ever was.  Completely unnecessary and untrue, and WHERE THE FUCK IS IAN, WHY ISN’T HE IN THIS KID’S LIFE ANYMORE, HE STATED FLAT OUT HE LOVED YEVGENY.  Thank goodness there’s a gif of a Henckel flipping the bird to help me through this trying time.

I’ll try to temper my bitterness for the rest of this, but I make no guarantees.  

That horrific remark about an innocent child aside, this episode had little to get me riled up over-it was one of the most boring episodes they’ve ever done-every week they seem to outdo themselves on that front.  

This piece of shit-pardon me-episode was written by day-to-day showrunner Nancy Pimental and it was either her lame attempt at trying to win Macy that Emmy OR her purposely sabotaging him, because his storyline was the longest and most painfully unfunny this week.  

Also it was directed by Emmy Rossum and she gave herself a shit ton of close ups which I suppose is her prerogative and heaven knows the writer didn’t give her much story to shoot.  

This week opens with the dog Rusty staring at a still in bed Fiona and kicks off the aforementioned close ups.  I still want that dog to be explained-the law isn’t “dogs that have eaten human flesh must be destroyed-unless someone’s willing to take a chance on rescuing them”.  Why is there zero fucking research on this show?

Meanwhile, Franny’s screaming but Debs is too busy in the bathroom taking a half dozen pregnancy tests and acting like the world owes her something-that will be her theme throughout the episode, as it has been for the past few seasons. 

Nancy tries to capture some of that “all the Gallaghers in one place at one time” magic by having everyone crowd around the bathroom and giving Ian his first spoiled toddler line of the ep, “Guess I won’t shower today-gonna get filthy anyway cleaning that shitty building my sister found for homeless kids.”  Whatever that meaningful moment on Ian’s bed was last episode is being forgotten or ignored by this dumbass show.  Will it ever be revisited?  Who knows. 

Lip, who this season is like Mrs. Kravitz on Bewitched and seems to have this compelling need to insert himself into other people’s drama while ignoring his own, volunteers to take Debbie to Planned Parenthood where she again acts like a total bitch who needs a reality check, and where Lip just happens to be there to see Charlie (Snore’s ex) walk in with a very pregnant woman.  Such fortuitous timing!

There’s a gross scene of Carl peeing into a toilet between Kassidi’s legs as she sits on the back of the toilet-good god, Nancy, is that what you think the kids are into these days?  All I’m gonna say about Kassidi is that she’s exactly like Sammi only younger and even more charmless.  Whoever the fuck thought the show needed that vibe back needs to be fired.  And I get that Carl is supposed to be thinking with his self-inflicted deformed dick, but, really?  After seeing his father and Monica over the years, plus living with Sammi for a bit, he wouldn’t know enough to run from that type of chick?

Frank has this totally convoluted “only on Shameless” business venture going where he’s going to smuggle immigrants who feel unsafe in the USA over the Canadian border and bring back his car loaded with prescription drugs.  Sure, Frank.  Anyway, the only scene of note in the many long and boring scenes he got this week is when he’s listing talented Canadians-and when he DOESN’T say “Noel Fisher” we all hear it anyway and laugh at this lame show for letting all that talent go.  Assholes.  

Instead of recycling Mickey’s shirts this week, the show does something even more stupid: they use the VFW hall where Mickey got married as the new youth shelter AND they use the basement where Mickey and Ian banged before his wedding as the food bank Debbie goes to!  Okay, Cam, I gotta say, that’s a version of audacious-reminding us of those classic Mickey moments the show can’t come close to having using any of the characters they’ve kept on.  

Speaking of Mickey (not that the show ever does), Nancy tries to recreate some of that old Mickey magic with having Terror call Ian a “Negative Nellie” when he bitches some more about the new youth shelter.  Pinning nicknames on Ian is a Mickey thing only-why are they constantly reminding us of the gaping holes that losing Noel has left?

Anyway, here’s how Nancy tried to bring some shit talking South Side back into the show: Ian: This place is a dump. Terror (to Geneva): Don’t listen to Negative Nellie he’s still mad about the church. I: (sarcastic) Ye-ah, cuz you got pity fucked by my sister with this building. T: (imitates Ian) Ye-ah-and she was really good.

Side note-can you imagine Ian ever trying to joke with Mickey about him fucking his sister?  Sheesh.

I: I bet-she’s great at getting what she wants and screwing everybody else.

WTF?  Has Nancy ever seen the show?  Fiona always winds up screwing herself over.  I’m not a huge fan of Fiona’s big sister act, but even I can admit she sacrificed a lot for her younger siblings and never did things to screw them while advancing herself.  The thing Ian should be mad about is Fiona’s comments about Mickey-and even then she didn’t screw Mickey or Ian, she just said some stupid shit that Ian didn’t have to listen to.

Anyway, Geneva tells Ian and Terror about the gay conversion church, so now I know taking on organized religion wasn’t what Ian referred to as “larger concerns”.  One of the youths tried to commit suicide after being subjected to it, so Ian and Terror go visit him and the kid holds up his bandaged wrists and asks if they like his hot wristbands and even though it’s canon that Ian witnessed his mother moments after she slit her wrists and Terror spent his prom night in an emergency room because he slit his, neither of them bat an eye or react in any way to the kid’s injuries.  

Emmy throws in a way too long scene of Fiona dancing around in her underwear (after more way too long Frank scenes).  Again it amazes me how this show just recycles the same shit over and over-anyone remember Fiona’s happy dance in the church she went to check out for her and Sean to get married in?  

Ford catches her in the act and entices her to go out and look at Chicago architecture with him-I want the jobs that either of them have where they have all the free time in the world to lollygag.  And why is the show wasting all this time on all this crap in one episode?  Paint drying on those historic buildings would’ve been more interesting to watch than this hour of television.  

At the end of their tour, Ford shows her the inside of a house he’s working on (all by himself, apparently, I guess he doesn’t work with a crew) and asks her to lie down on an improbably placed mattress and she’s a tad hesitant at first, but when she does it, he points out art on the ceiling to her.  She’s impressed with its beauty and then starts making out with Ford in a total recreation of Ian with Faileb and thinking that guys who show any bit of interest in them as people must want to fuck them.  It was stupid with Faileb, it’s stupid with Ford.  

There’s a scene somewhere along the line with Kev and Vee that’s bordering on spousal abuse-I really wish they’d end this “Kev grows some balls” idea immediately. "Big neanderthal man” is not a thinking person’s idea of an ideal partner.  

Ugh, now for more of the Ian crap.  He goes home and asks if they have a Bible laying around.  He finds one, and the next day-THE VERY NEXT DAY-he and Terror go to the gay conversion church and Ian gets into a Bible quoting match with the pastor/minister/whatever he is.  I’m sure Cam was hard as a rock thinking he was coming off like Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction, but the movie character I was thinking of was Rain Man-how else could he have memorized several Bible passages overnight unless he’s some sort of idiot savant?  

Terror is basically an Ian accessory in the scene-a backpack or a briefcase or a Trapper Keeper, holding Ian’s Bible for him until he needs it.  And the whole, “We’ll probably be banging again soon” right after Terror calls himself Ian’s ex was stupid-not funny or sexy, which I bet was what good old Nancy was going for. 

Cut to a scene of Snore getting a bit of a story thread that they probably originally kicked around for Mandy, and she has the triggering line that she’ll “run away to Mexico” if her father is released from prison.  Sure, Snore, whatever.  

Then there’s the scene where Kev is trying out his domineering dick act for the second time this ep on Svetlana, and Vee gets turned on and hands Yev over to Svetlana calling him that P word.  Fuck you, bitch.  I hope Svetlana is scheming to fuck Kev and Vee over big time-they have a scene where it looks like Svet’s doing that, but with this show, who knows if it’ll be alluded to again?

In the time it took Ian and Terror and the refugees from the gay conversion church to walk to the youth shelter, a video a person recorded at the church on her phone has been uploaded to You Tube and Geneva tells Ian it has a thousand hits already-cuz, yeah, Nance, that’s how the You Tube works.  Homeless kids working to clean up a dilapidated building have their iPhones turned on to get alerts whenever a video that has anything to do with gays gets posted to YT and they all drop everything and watch it.  

The only other thing I want to mention is the preview for next week-they show a quick clip of Ian and Terror pulling their shirts off that’s a ripoff of Mickey and Ian’s first time, a shot of Ian watching Terror asleep next to him in his bed where he’s awkwardly as fuck touching his face, and then a clip of Ian saying, “Kinda nice-us being a thing again.”  (WHAT HAPPENED TO GET OFF MY PORCH, DICK????  But I digress.)  Terror answers, “Jury’s still out.”  Well, if by jury he means FANS, we handed down our verdict a long time ago.  

I wonder if the show is trying to set up them finding their way to be a “true” couple (GAG), and then “tragedy” will strike and pull them apart when Ian gets arrested and they think  it’ll be poignant and painful for the fans, when actually we’ll be cheering and yelling, “Throw Ian in prison for 15 years, bitches!  Throw away the key and don’t have anyone visit!  Have Terror say it’s too painful for him to see him behind glass like that!!!!”  

But then again, this show is so inconsistent maybe that’s not where they’re headed at all.  Maybe they just think Ian needs the chase to stay interested, and for some misguided reason the writers think that’s what the fans want to see.  

We really, really don’t, though.  

And I can’t say it enough: Fuck this show for that line about little Yev.  It seemed like another very deliberate slap to the face of Mickey Milkovich fans everywhere.  

[waywardsignns-a]

If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be? ( for all of them because I'm hella curious )

Questions About Creating Your OCs || hella accepting

Aubrey: I think the most important thing to keep in mind with Aubrey is the fact that her mind is running a hundred miles a minute, making it harder for her to concentrate. Of course as an adult, this is something that she’s learned how to mitigate and manage much better than when she is a child, but it doesn’t make it any less of an important fact. She can hold a conversation with you, can follow things fairly well... but the instant the conversation no longer keeps her interest enough or there’s a lengthy pause she’s moved on to several different things in her head. The second? Her relatively unique view of the world and how she insists on the beauty in things even into adulthood. She’s very much the “linger and admire” type rather than going from point a to point b like the majority of other people will do. 

Raoul: He’s his parent’s child... which, is my way of saying he’s a stubborn little shit. There isn’t a whole lot of anything that will get him off his course once he decides what he’s going to do. I mean, seriously there’s a reason he’s in the modelling industry and never even tried drugs, hasn’t let alcohol be a prominent part of his ritual (despite enjoying a beer after shoots). The second thing? His Father has a massive impact in who he turns out to be. Without his Father, he would be an angry man, prone to violence and not giving a damn just what anybody thought. Who he is now? He’s respectful and restrained, professional and joyful to be around instead of a pain in the ass. 

Anna: She is equal parts wolf and human! There are a lot of mannerisms that she has that are wolf like in nature while she is walking around as a human. There are a lot of times that I get this feeling that her submissive wolf instinct in her is stronger than the human, and I think its purely because of the memory loss and how she allows her instincts to guide her because of it. The second thing? ....Her memory loss I suppose. Its a major defining point in who she is as a character and how she acts. Because all she ever got from the curse was her partial name, she recreated herself from scratch... and is still doing so, quite honestly. 

Paige: Her distrust of just about everybody, men more so than women, is a major thing to keep in mind. Quite honestly at her canon age I play her at here its much better than it used to be when she was younger. When she was younger she would go out of her way to avoid men, quite honestly. So because of this, obviously, if a man does gain her trust and get to a point with her that she’s willing to relax and put her faith in you... and breaks that faith and her trust, she will write you off without a single bit of hesitation. If that happens? Its damn near impossible to ever regain the trust that she put in you before. The second thing, is her unconscious actions of rebellion, in a sense. Her pink hair, her tattoos, her piercings, her own job, her Atheism, all of it is a rebellion against the faith that her parents hold. Its not a conscious act... but everything she’s done is pretty much one giant “fuck you” to her Father. 

Naomi: The fact that she is as old as balls, is an important factor... seriously she was born in a time when there was no last names, born when Adam was probably still alive (that fucker lived to be like ... 800 years old in the bible dude), so yeah. Old as shit. The second thing is kind of a tie between her maternal actions/instincts and the fact that society now constantly shocks her no matter how long she will walk among the humans. She was the beginning of werewolves, was the “mother” to them all, and I mean... the society thing is kind of an obvious explanation if you think to how things would have been back then, and how much things have changed even in the last 100 years. 

Ezra: HE IS ALMOST ALWAYS AT WAR WITH HIMSELF. Not literally... well, kind of literally, but still. His naturally shy, docile nature is constantly clashing with his dominant/alpha tendencies. He is a half born werewolf, so he has two natures in him that are generally battling it out... and for the most part his more quiet nature wins in the end. The other? The fact that he has never known anything but extreme wealth. While this doesn’t make him blind to the fact that there are others less fortunate than him, its brings about a certain ignorance. He genuinely has a lot to learn.

Mickey: OH GOD I GOTTA PICK TWO!?!?!? >:c Okay uhm... her compassion? I would definitely say her compassion and empathy both are a major roll in who Mickey is. She sees far more than she will ever let on, and quite honestly if she were to have ever went to school to be the psychologist like she wanted to be, she would be a damn good one. The other thing that I think is something that should always be kept in mind when dealing with Mickey, is how truly resilient she is. She endured blame for her Mother’s death upon birth, endured her twin sister leaving her with a physically and verbally abusive Father, endured having a child when she was ... 17? I think? Had a second child a year after, lost another in the womb shortly after her Father passed away. Not only that, she up and moved the whole family to follow her husband to a better job opportunity, endured his loss, moved her family again to start fresh to allow them all to heal, and had to be strong through it all. She WAS and IS the strength of the family, the backbone that holds it all together. 

Catherine: Honestly her baby brother getting in the motorbike accident is a pretty large part of what made Catherine turn to being a mechanic. She was fairly reckless on a bike before this happened, racing a lot, doing tricks that could easily get her killed should something go wrong... I firmly believe that she would have lived a much shorter life if she would have continued on as she was before her brother wrecked. I think another big part of Catherine, is that even in a relationship she isn’t the most touchy-feely-romantic person in the world. Sure, when she’s alone with the person she’s with she’ll cuddle and whatnot, but past that she’s very tomboy-ish in that regard that she doesn’t do hearts and flowers. 

Karan: His mannerisms in how he talks! That’s something that I personally have to really concentrate on simply because I only speak English (learning language is highly difficult for me). So with Karan fluent in Hindi, and having a strong dislike of English, it gives him a specific speech pattern and habits that I have to really keep in mind. Past that? His adoration for children. Even before they start the foundation for children, Karan absolutely loves kids, and quite frankly they are the only ones that will ever get away with cuddling with him. He isn’t a touchy feely person, and even if you are close with him it isn’t all that common for him to initiate a hug or anything else past a handshake with you. Children? Always the exception. 

[butternut-gouache]

Finally got around to making this little paper cutting piece for my cover of my sketchbook! (Unless it gets bought before I end up putting it on there! 😋) also, I've been tagged now by many of my fellow artists to give you guys 20 facts you guys don't know about me! So, here's a good few (I don't think I have 20 in me!😂) : 1. I am a huge bookworm. I've made it a goal to read many classical literature piece. 2.I've read every work of Shakespeare's except for 3 plays! I love Shakespeare. 3. It may sound a bit backwards, but when I paint with my gouache I like to do the background after I do whatever the subject of my piece is. 4. I have a gene mutation called central heterochromia which causes my eyes to be 4 colors. But the dominant color is blue, hence why my eyes are blue in any picture I've ever done of myself. 5. I can speak English, Spanish, French, some German and American Sign Language. I think it's important to be able to communicate with as many people as possible. I'm currently trying to learn bits of Arabic. 6. I have several Disney artists/animator friends! Growing up, a family friend of mine was Ralph Kent, who many Disney artists and animators knew as the keeper of the mouse. He was in charge of teaching other Disney artists of how to draw Mickey, and wrote Disney many times when he was a child. Disney called him 'the kid'. He also ended up designing the buffalo Bills mascot, billy buffalo. He's got his own window on mainstreet USA in Disney world and Disneyland. He always encouraged me to keep making art no matter how much I felt like giving up. He passed away in 2007, but has left a lasting impression on me and will always inspire me to keep making art. 7. I am afraid of clowns 😂😅 8.i am ambidextrous, which allows me to write with either hand if I need to. 9. I am semi self taught at guitar and piano 10. I am a Vintage nerd! I wish I could go around like everyday was dapper day! 11.My name when fully translated means Irelands popular spoonmaker #art #art🎨#artistsofinstagram #artistsoninstagram #myart #papercutting #papercut #selfart #girlsinanimation #glitter #instaart #instaartist #illustration #artoferinlefler #butternutgouache

[amazingviralinfo]

Image: twitter composite

Twitter provided a platform for a bit of drama this week.

Recent exes Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris caused a stir, Harris eventually brought Katy Perry into the mix, and then Perry threw in Hillary Clinton. Of course Pokmon Go took over our data bills and our Twitter feeds this week everyone from jealous Canadians to the (totally incorrect)AP Stylebook had something to say about it.

SEE ALSO: Politics and potatoes rose to the tops of our Twitter feeds this week

And, of course, a terrorist attack killed 84 people in Nice, France, on Thursday evening during Bastille Day celebrations. The White House released a statement from President Obama on Twitter reflecting on the tragedy.

On some lighter notes, a Bachelor-winning couple used Twitter to express the joys of parenthood, your favorite Broadway star left more than just his role in Hamilton behind and Bernie Sanders finally endorsed his choice for president.

1. Canada is creatively coping with its lack of Pokmon Go

Real Canadian gameplay of #PokemonGO pic.twitter.com/sqX09r5J0e

Trebla (@AlbertWick) July 6, 2016

we don't need #PokemonGO in Canada because we already have real ones roaming the country @Pokemon pic.twitter.com/OBO5V9epCO

Brynn Elizabeth (@brynnsadventure) July 10, 2016

So close, yet so far. Canadian Pokmon fans are still waiting for Pokmon Go to make its way up north, so they came up with creative ways to play the game IRL. The trainers-in-waiting tried everything from dressing up in Pikachu costumes to throwing Pok Balls at dogs. Spoiler: Real dogs do not fit in Pok Balls.

2. Bernie Sanders announced his presidential endorsement

Our job now is to see our progressive platform implemented by a Democratic Senate, a Democratic House and a Hillary Clinton presidency.

Bernie Sanders (@BernieSanders) July 12, 2016

Bernie Sanders finally accepted the fact that hes out of the 2016 presidential race, and he endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. After making a speech encouraging his supporters to vote for her this November, Sanders tweeted some highlights from his speech.

3. Obama made a statement on the Nice, France, attacks

.@POTUS on the attack in Nice, France: pic.twitter.com/CrbChxZs04

The White House (@WhiteHouse) July 14, 2016

On Thursday, a devastating terrorist attack in Nice, France, during Bastille Day celebrations killed at least 84 people. French President Francois Hollande announced that Frances state of emergency that has been in place since the November 2015 Paris terrorist attacks will be extended another three months. The White Houses Twitter account shared President Obamas statement on the tragic event. We stand in solidarity and partnership with France, our oldest ally, as they respond to and recover from this attack. Obama wrote. On this Bastille Day, we are reminded of the extraordinary resilience and democratic values that have made France an inspiration to the entire world.

4. Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici Lowe are very silly parents

Day 8 of being a parent: the kid has peed on everything. I think he's marking his territory and possibly planning a takeover.

Sean Lowe (@SeanLowe09) July 11, 2016

The latest Bachelor success story is growing last week, Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici Lowe welcomed their first child. Our favorite part of the new family? The parents havent been shy about logging Samuel Thomas bodily fluids on Twitter. Day 8 of being a parent: the kid has peed on everything. I think he's marking his territory and possibly planning a takeover, is just one of their graphic yet hilarious Twitter entries.

5. Lin-Manuel Miranda made one big transformation after his last night in Hamilton

Teach 'em how to say goodbye... pic.twitter.com/dJ49jUYHlh

Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) July 10, 2016

After rocking flowing Hamilton locks for over a year, Lin-Manuel Miranda chopped them off right after his final performance in the Broadway show on Saturday evening. Instead of sharing a photo of his lighter head, he tweeted a shot of the discarded hair. He quoted a perfect Hamilton lyric in the caption: Teach 'em how to say goodbye

6. The internet does not agree with AP Styles stylization of Pokmon Go.

You asked: "Pokemon Go," w quote marks & lowercase o in Go. No accent mark. Plural: Pokemon. Use made-up words sparingly; Pokestop is OK.

AP Stylebook (@APStylebook) July 12, 2016

The AP Stylebooks official Twitter account posted their thoughts on how publications that follow the Associated Press style should format Pokmon Go. Their suggestion to forego the accent mark sent the internet up in flames, since weve been using an accent mark in the word Pokmon for 20 years. Mashable will continue to use the accent mark, as well as make up PokWords.

7. Calvin Harris was not happy about what Taylor Swift disclosed

I know you're off tour and you need someone new to try and bury like Katy ETC but I'm not that guy, sorry. I won't allow it

Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) July 13, 2016

After Taylor Swift broke the news that she wrote ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris song This Is What You Came For under a pseudonym, Harris responded to her with a slew of tweets. The Katy in question is undoubtedly Katy Perry its been long speculated that Swift wrote Bad Blood about the pop star. Perry got in on the Twitter drama as well...

8. Katy Perry tweeted an A + gif of Hillary Clinton in response to Calvin Harris

pic.twitter.com/m6ebYV8D1r

KATY PERRY (@katyperry) July 13, 2016

If pictures are worth a thousand words, then a GIF is worth at least a thousand tweets. In response to Harris above burn, Katy Perry tweeted a GIF of Hillary Clinton sassily shrugging from behind a podium. Perry is acknowledging that she was dragged into the situation, but shes smartly not being too forward about it. Perry has the most Twitter followers in the world, so shes surely getting her detached point across.

9. New York comedian is changing one thing about Jason Bourne posters

Hey New Yorkers, what if we just peel off the guns in the Jason Bourne ads. So tired of guns. pic.twitter.com/SrjjRsyPCB

Tami Sagher (@Tambone) July 12, 2016

If anyone knows New York, its comedian Tami Sagher, who has written for How I Met Your Mother, Broad City, 30 Rock, Girls and Inside Amy Schumer. Sagher is tired of gun violence, and she tweeted a proposal that when New Yorkers see subway ads for the upcoming movie Jason Bourne, they should peel the sticker off where the gun appears.

10. The new Fab Five is very excited for the Olympics

When you find out you're going to the olympics>> pic.twitter.com/st3A26seDM

Laurie Hernandez (@lzhernandez02) July 11, 2016

Sixteen-year-old gymnast Laurie Hernandez couldnt resist tweeting a video of the backstage excitement that occurred after she, Simone Biles, Gabby Douglas, Madison Kocian and Aly Raisman found out they were officially Olympics bound. In the short clip, Hernandez, Biles and Raisman goofily dance around their dressing room and shout Were going to the Olympics!

11. Hollywoods latest scandalous affair is between two Disney characters

You can't trust anyone now a day! pic.twitter.com/C82fnwDaUv

Flower (@florrchata) July 10, 2016

A Disneyland visitor caught Minnie Mouse in an adulterous moment of passion with none other than her husbandMickey Mouses pal Goofy. Whats most disturbing is that Mickey seems to be humored by the situation he was photographed staring at them from the shadows with a ridiculous grin on his face. If anyone has any celebrity tips on this, please send them to Mashable.

Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.

[thelmabeaver]

Top 5 Best Bath Toys For Your Toddler | 2017 Reviews

Top 5 Best Bath Toys for Your Toddler | 2017 Reviews

The moment you put your once-tiny baby into the bathtub, you know that you’re playing a brand-new ballgame. You’ve lost the ability to hold her with one arm while scrubbing her hair with the other; you can’t even use “mom-style brute force” to hold her in place long enough to clean her feet once she’s in the tub. A toddler has a mind of her own, and you’ll be fighting a losing battle trying to assert your dominance. You’ll need her cooperation in order to get her clean, and the way most people do that is by making bathtime fun – with bath toys.

Quick Navigation

Quick Comparison Table

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Water Flutes

Tolo Toys Funtime Fishing

Edushape Cup-O-Fun Water Toy

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Star Crayon

Boon Creatures Interchangeable Bath Toy Cup Set

Old favorites like squeaking rubber duckies and floating Mickey Mouses (Mickey Mice?) may hold your young one’s attention for a little while, but there are many cooler bath toys which will fascinate her long enough to make it through an entire bath peacefully. Some will even help her learn some important skills while you’re getting her clean.

It probably doesn’t need to be said, but we’ll say it anyway: we’re only including completely safe and non-toxic playthings on our list of the top 5 best bath toys for your toddler. Many have won awards from various parents’ or mommy’s organizations and all are intriguing options for your child’s bathtime. There’s one other important thing they all have in common: they’re all inexpensive yet well-made, so you can pick up several of them while not having to examine each one with a magnifying glass to ensure that they’ll be safe to throw into the tub with your most-precious possession.

Before going on our list, check out our comprehensive best bath toys buying guide here.

Here are our choices.

Quick Comparison Table

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Water Flutes

Tolo Toys Funtime Fishing

Edushape Cup-O-Fun Water Toy

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Star Crayon

Boon Creatures Bath Toy Cup Set

$$$

$$$

$$$

$$$

$$$

8.8 ounces

12.8 ounces

1 pound

1.8 ounces

10 ounces

Foam, plastic

Plastic, hidden magnets

Plastic, foam

Plastic, crayon

Plastic

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Water Flutes

Lots of bath toys (or toys in general) have a life span that can be measured in hours, or even in minutes; toddlers are notorious for being fascinated by, and then discarding, the toys their parents have spent days picking out for them. The Rub a Dub Water Flutes, however, will “grow” along with your child and keep her interested for many months or years.

The five flutes come arranged in a foam holder, but can also be removed to be played separately. You (or your child) dunk them into the tub to fill them with water, and depending on how much water is in each one, they play different notes when they’re blown. Each flute is designed to hit certain notes if the right amount of liquid is inside, but that’s certainly not a big deal for small toddlers who just love the fact that they’re “making music.” They’re also learning a bit of science, since they’ll discover that the notes produced by the flutes change with the volume of water inside each one.

Once the children are older, however, they’ll be more interested in getting the notes just right so they can play songs. That’s why we say the Rub a Dub flutes are a bath toy which will be around for a while; the set comes with a number of waterproof song sheets which can be stuck to the wall for older children to follow as they play. They won’t just be getting clean and making noise, but if they’re so inclined, they’ll also be starting to learning music – everything from “Mary Had a Little Lamb” to “Ode to Joy” from Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.

We do have one important note about these flutes. If young toddlers fill the flutes up from the tub and then tip a flute back (in other words, raise one end up into the air), the dirty bath water can run down the flute and into their mouths. Keeping a separate basin of clean water right by the tub can take care of that issue, though, until the children are old enough to hold the instruments the proper way on their own. There’s also a more practical issue; once the flutes get wet and slippery, they can easily slip right out the foam holder and have to be played individually. That doesn’t make them any less fun for toddlers, but it would be nicer if they were held more firmly in place. Incidentally, the manufacturer says this bath toy is for ages 3+, but we’d guess that’s on the advice of their lawyers since toddlers love these flutes.

ALEX is a well-known manufacturer of popular children’s toys, and they obviously know what kids like – these flutes will be a hit in your bathtub. They’ve won awards from iParenting, Parents’ Magazine and NAPPA, too, so we aren’t the only ones who’ve been impressed by them. Just one tip: you may want to allocate a little more than the $10 you’d normally pay for the water flutes, to buy a set of earplugs for yourself.

Details of the ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Water Flutes

Materials

Foam, plastic

Extras

Flute holder, waterproof music sheets

Size

7.5 x 3 x 12 inches

Weight

8.8 ounces

Check Price On Amazon

Tolo Toys Funtime Fishing

Toddlers are always developing all-important hand-eye coordination to some extent. You can help with the process by tossing these three colorful Tolo Toys fish into the bathtub and handing your child the 9-inch long fishing rod she’ll need to catch them.

The rod and fish are made from colorful plastic, with a magnetic (and adorable) worm hanging from the rod as the “bait” used to catch the fish by attaching to the small magnets in their mouths. The large-handled reel on the rod can then be turned by your toddler in order to reel the fish in. The fun starts even before the fishing, however, because as soon as the fish are submerged in the tub they’ll start “blowing” small bubbles. Younger children are delighted by the bubbles, and older ones can’t wait to grab their rod and go fishin’.

There are several developmental benefits connected with a toddler’s use of the toy. As we’ve mentioned, the fishing activity helps them develop and hone their coordination and dexterity. But the bubbling fish are also educational as they help children understand concepts like floating and sinking, and lets them figure out the reason that the fish produce bubbles after being submerged in water. When the novelty finally starts to wear off (and if you have the time to spare), regular fishing contests with your toddler can continue to make bathtime something she really looks forward to, rather than an ordeal. She may even find this toy fun to use outside of the tub, because the magnet on the rod will “catch” other magnetic objects as well.

The Funtime Fishing set is carefully constructed so there are no loose parts and the magnets won’t wear out, and the plastic is BPA-free. You may want to be sure to fully empty the fish after each use, though, because water can get caught inside and could eventually lead to mold growth. The set will cost you about $17.

Details of the Tolo Toys Funtime Fishing

Materials

Plastic, concealed magnets

Size

Rod is 9 inches long, fish vary in size

Weight

12.8 ounces

Check Price On Amazon

Edushape Cup-O-Fun Water Toy

When we first saw this bath toy, we thought it might be too advanced for a young toddler. We were wrong. There are actually several levels of difficulty built into the Cup-O-Fun, and as your child grows older she can “graduate” to newer challenges.

This kit comes with a floating tray which serves as the base of a puzzle, four large floating puzzle pieces which fit together into the base, five floating foam pieces which can fit into the puzzle pieces, and four plastic nesting cups which not only fit into each other, but also into the puzzle in various spots. There are many different permutations of the ways these pieces can be put together, which your toddler will discover as she grows older.

Younger children can simply have fun stacking, filling and emptying the cups or positioning them to float on top of the puzzle base, or sticking the foam pieces to the wall, until they’re ready to start tackling the puzzle. Or they may prefer to have you do the stacking, so they can do the destroying.

All of the pieces are colorful, with cute pictures on them to help make sorting and puzzle-solving easier, and they’re safe while being large enough to not be a choking hazard. It does cost around $25, but the Cup-o-Fun is a versatile and fun toy which won’t be a “one-and-done” addition to your toddler’s bathtub.

Details of the Edushape Cup-O-Fun Water Toy

Materials

Plastic, foam

Size

Tray is 12.5 inches in diameter, other pieces vary in size

Weight

1 pound

Check Price On Amazon

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Star Crayon

If you couldn’t tell by now, we really love the products made by ALEX Toys. However, this one comes with an important caveat which is why we decided to rank it lower on our list of the top 5 best bath toys for your toddler. Before you proudly hand this beautiful and inexpensive bath crayon to your child, check it on your bathtub by yourself. The markings come off most tubs with just a swipe of a washcloth, but on some older tubs or tile you may find yourself scrubbing like crazy to get rid of the crayon (although a Magic Eraser product often works well for that). Once you’ve determined that you won’t have to spend half-an-hour cleaning up a crayon mess after a bath, give it to your toddler – because she’ll love it.

Many people try tub crayons and then discard them quickly, finding that they break or sink to the bottom of the tub easily. The design of the Star Crayon is the perfect answer. It has six bright colors all smartly sitting around the sixes of a solid plastic star so it’s easy for toddlers to hold and color with, yet it won’t break apart. Kids can color to their hearts’ content on the tub, the bathroom tile or any other non-porous surface, even underwater, and you won’t be constantly taking broken crayons out of the tub or reaching down to find the one your child “lost.”

The ALEX Toys crayon costs less than $6, but you may want to buy a few at one time; they’re fairly small and don’t last for more than a few weeks of regular use. They can be messy, but toddlers find bath crayons a ton of fun and the Star Crayon is the easiest way for them to experience it.

Details of the ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Star Crayon

Materials

Plastic, crayon

Size

5 x 1 x 7 inches

Weight

1.8 ounces

Check Price On Amazon

Boon Creatures Interchangeable Bath Toy Cup Set

This one is for your very young toddler, and she’ll have a ball with it. There are four small cups that serve as the bottoms of the sea creatures (octopus, whale, crab and fish), and four heads that fit on top of them. Each is a different attractive color, and they’re all interchangeable so your child can create different “exotic creatures” with them. Be aware that the tops and bottoms don’t latch together, they only sit atop one another; they’re designed for the fun of making the different combinations and then changing them, and the hand-eye coordination benefits of doing that.

Grown-ups may want the two parts to snap together, but most kids don’t care about that. In fact, you’ll find that young toddlers often have the most fun with the cups themselves, because each one has different sized holes which let the water trickle out at different speeds. The cups and tops are soft and flexible plastic (BPA-free), and can easily be run through the dishwasher to make sure they’re nice and dry to prevent mold growth.

Once your toddler is 1½ or so, chances are good that the Boon Creatures will have worn out their welcome. But for only ten bucks or so, they’re an octopus, crab, fish and whale of a good time before she reaches that age.

Details of the Boon Creatures Interchangeable Bath Toy Cup Set

Materials

Plastic

Size

Each assembled toy is 4 x 2.5 x 2.5 inches

Weight

10 ounces

Check Price On Amazon

Originally posted 2016-06-03 00:51:18.

The post Top 5 Best Bath Toys For Your Toddler | 2017 Reviews appeared first on ParentsNeed.

Top 5 Best Bath Toys For Your Toddler | 2017 Reviews published first on http://parentsneed.tumblr.com/

[michellegputz]

Top 5 Best Bath Toys For Your Toddler | 2017 Reviews

Top 5 Best Bath Toys for Your Toddler | 2017 Reviews

The moment you put your once-tiny baby into the bathtub, you know that you’re playing a brand-new ballgame. You’ve lost the ability to hold her with one arm while scrubbing her hair with the other; you can’t even use “mom-style brute force” to hold her in place long enough to clean her feet once she’s in the tub. A toddler has a mind of her own, and you’ll be fighting a losing battle trying to assert your dominance. You’ll need her cooperation in order to get her clean, and the way most people do that is by making bathtime fun – with bath toys.

Quick Navigation

Quick Comparison Table

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Water Flutes

Tolo Toys Funtime Fishing

Edushape Cup-O-Fun Water Toy

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Star Crayon

Boon Creatures Interchangeable Bath Toy Cup Set

Old favorites like squeaking rubber duckies and floating Mickey Mouses (Mickey Mice?) may hold your young one’s attention for a little while, but there are many cooler bath toys which will fascinate her long enough to make it through an entire bath peacefully. Some will even help her learn some important skills while you’re getting her clean.

It probably doesn’t need to be said, but we’ll say it anyway: we’re only including completely safe and non-toxic playthings on our list of the top 5 best bath toys for your toddler. Many have won awards from various parents’ or mommy’s organizations and all are intriguing options for your child’s bathtime. There’s one other important thing they all have in common: they’re all inexpensive yet well-made, so you can pick up several of them while not having to examine each one with a magnifying glass to ensure that they’ll be safe to throw into the tub with your most-precious possession.

Before going on our list, check out our comprehensive best bath toys buying guide here.

Here are our choices.

Quick Comparison Table

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Water Flutes

Tolo Toys Funtime Fishing

Edushape Cup-O-Fun Water Toy

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Star Crayon

Boon Creatures Bath Toy Cup Set

$$$

$$$

$$$

$$$

$$$

8.8 ounces

12.8 ounces

1 pound

1.8 ounces

10 ounces

Foam, plastic

Plastic, hidden magnets

Plastic, foam

Plastic, crayon

Plastic

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Water Flutes

Lots of bath toys (or toys in general) have a life span that can be measured in hours, or even in minutes; toddlers are notorious for being fascinated by, and then discarding, the toys their parents have spent days picking out for them. The Rub a Dub Water Flutes, however, will “grow” along with your child and keep her interested for many months or years.

The five flutes come arranged in a foam holder, but can also be removed to be played separately. You (or your child) dunk them into the tub to fill them with water, and depending on how much water is in each one, they play different notes when they’re blown. Each flute is designed to hit certain notes if the right amount of liquid is inside, but that’s certainly not a big deal for small toddlers who just love the fact that they’re “making music.” They’re also learning a bit of science, since they’ll discover that the notes produced by the flutes change with the volume of water inside each one.

Once the children are older, however, they’ll be more interested in getting the notes just right so they can play songs. That’s why we say the Rub a Dub flutes are a bath toy which will be around for a while; the set comes with a number of waterproof song sheets which can be stuck to the wall for older children to follow as they play. They won’t just be getting clean and making noise, but if they’re so inclined, they’ll also be starting to learning music – everything from “Mary Had a Little Lamb” to “Ode to Joy” from Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.

We do have one important note about these flutes. If young toddlers fill the flutes up from the tub and then tip a flute back (in other words, raise one end up into the air), the dirty bath water can run down the flute and into their mouths. Keeping a separate basin of clean water right by the tub can take care of that issue, though, until the children are old enough to hold the instruments the proper way on their own. There’s also a more practical issue; once the flutes get wet and slippery, they can easily slip right out the foam holder and have to be played individually. That doesn’t make them any less fun for toddlers, but it would be nicer if they were held more firmly in place. Incidentally, the manufacturer says this bath toy is for ages 3+, but we’d guess that’s on the advice of their lawyers since toddlers love these flutes.

ALEX is a well-known manufacturer of popular children’s toys, and they obviously know what kids like – these flutes will be a hit in your bathtub. They’ve won awards from iParenting, Parents’ Magazine and NAPPA, too, so we aren’t the only ones who’ve been impressed by them. Just one tip: you may want to allocate a little more than the $10 you’d normally pay for the water flutes, to buy a set of earplugs for yourself.

Details of the ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Water Flutes

Materials

Foam, plastic

Extras

Flute holder, waterproof music sheets

Size

7.5 x 3 x 12 inches

Weight

8.8 ounces

Check Price On Amazon

Tolo Toys Funtime Fishing

Toddlers are always developing all-important hand-eye coordination to some extent. You can help with the process by tossing these three colorful Tolo Toys fish into the bathtub and handing your child the 9-inch long fishing rod she’ll need to catch them.

The rod and fish are made from colorful plastic, with a magnetic (and adorable) worm hanging from the rod as the “bait” used to catch the fish by attaching to the small magnets in their mouths. The large-handled reel on the rod can then be turned by your toddler in order to reel the fish in. The fun starts even before the fishing, however, because as soon as the fish are submerged in the tub they’ll start “blowing” small bubbles. Younger children are delighted by the bubbles, and older ones can’t wait to grab their rod and go fishin’.

There are several developmental benefits connected with a toddler’s use of the toy. As we’ve mentioned, the fishing activity helps them develop and hone their coordination and dexterity. But the bubbling fish are also educational as they help children understand concepts like floating and sinking, and lets them figure out the reason that the fish produce bubbles after being submerged in water. When the novelty finally starts to wear off (and if you have the time to spare), regular fishing contests with your toddler can continue to make bathtime something she really looks forward to, rather than an ordeal. She may even find this toy fun to use outside of the tub, because the magnet on the rod will “catch” other magnetic objects as well.

The Funtime Fishing set is carefully constructed so there are no loose parts and the magnets won’t wear out, and the plastic is BPA-free. You may want to be sure to fully empty the fish after each use, though, because water can get caught inside and could eventually lead to mold growth. The set will cost you about $17.

Details of the Tolo Toys Funtime Fishing

Materials

Plastic, concealed magnets

Size

Rod is 9 inches long, fish vary in size

Weight

12.8 ounces

Check Price On Amazon

Edushape Cup-O-Fun Water Toy

When we first saw this bath toy, we thought it might be too advanced for a young toddler. We were wrong. There are actually several levels of difficulty built into the Cup-O-Fun, and as your child grows older she can “graduate” to newer challenges.

This kit comes with a floating tray which serves as the base of a puzzle, four large floating puzzle pieces which fit together into the base, five floating foam pieces which can fit into the puzzle pieces, and four plastic nesting cups which not only fit into each other, but also into the puzzle in various spots. There are many different permutations of the ways these pieces can be put together, which your toddler will discover as she grows older.

Younger children can simply have fun stacking, filling and emptying the cups or positioning them to float on top of the puzzle base, or sticking the foam pieces to the wall, until they’re ready to start tackling the puzzle. Or they may prefer to have you do the stacking, so they can do the destroying.

All of the pieces are colorful, with cute pictures on them to help make sorting and puzzle-solving easier, and they’re safe while being large enough to not be a choking hazard. It does cost around $25, but the Cup-o-Fun is a versatile and fun toy which won’t be a “one-and-done” addition to your toddler’s bathtub.

Details of the Edushape Cup-O-Fun Water Toy

Materials

Plastic, foam

Size

Tray is 12.5 inches in diameter, other pieces vary in size

Weight

1 pound

Check Price On Amazon

ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Star Crayon

If you couldn’t tell by now, we really love the products made by ALEX Toys. However, this one comes with an important caveat which is why we decided to rank it lower on our list of the top 5 best bath toys for your toddler. Before you proudly hand this beautiful and inexpensive bath crayon to your child, check it on your bathtub by yourself. The markings come off most tubs with just a swipe of a washcloth, but on some older tubs or tile you may find yourself scrubbing like crazy to get rid of the crayon (although a Magic Eraser product often works well for that). Once you’ve determined that you won’t have to spend half-an-hour cleaning up a crayon mess after a bath, give it to your toddler – because she’ll love it.

Many people try tub crayons and then discard them quickly, finding that they break or sink to the bottom of the tub easily. The design of the Star Crayon is the perfect answer. It has six bright colors all smartly sitting around the sixes of a solid plastic star so it’s easy for toddlers to hold and color with, yet it won’t break apart. Kids can color to their hearts’ content on the tub, the bathroom tile or any other non-porous surface, even underwater, and you won’t be constantly taking broken crayons out of the tub or reaching down to find the one your child “lost.”

The ALEX Toys crayon costs less than $6, but you may want to buy a few at one time; they’re fairly small and don’t last for more than a few weeks of regular use. They can be messy, but toddlers find bath crayons a ton of fun and the Star Crayon is the easiest way for them to experience it.

Details of the ALEX Toys Rub a Dub Star Crayon

Materials

Plastic, crayon

Size

5 x 1 x 7 inches

Weight

1.8 ounces

Check Price On Amazon

Boon Creatures Interchangeable Bath Toy Cup Set

This one is for your very young toddler, and she’ll have a ball with it. There are four small cups that serve as the bottoms of the sea creatures (octopus, whale, crab and fish), and four heads that fit on top of them. Each is a different attractive color, and they’re all interchangeable so your child can create different “exotic creatures” with them. Be aware that the tops and bottoms don’t latch together, they only sit atop one another; they’re designed for the fun of making the different combinations and then changing them, and the hand-eye coordination benefits of doing that.

Grown-ups may want the two parts to snap together, but most kids don’t care about that. In fact, you’ll find that young toddlers often have the most fun with the cups themselves, because each one has different sized holes which let the water trickle out at different speeds. The cups and tops are soft and flexible plastic (BPA-free), and can easily be run through the dishwasher to make sure they’re nice and dry to prevent mold growth.

Once your toddler is 1½ or so, chances are good that the Boon Creatures will have worn out their welcome. But for only ten bucks or so, they’re an octopus, crab, fish and whale of a good time before she reaches that age.

Details of the Boon Creatures Interchangeable Bath Toy Cup Set

Materials

Plastic

Size

Each assembled toy is 4 x 2.5 x 2.5 inches

Weight

10 ounces

Check Price On Amazon

Originally posted 2016-06-03 00:51:18.

The post Top 5 Best Bath Toys For Your Toddler | 2017 Reviews appeared first on ParentsNeed.

Top 5 Best Bath Toys For Your Toddler | 2017 Reviews published first on https://parentsneedblog.wordpress.com/