#Michelle Bakjac
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What is Mental Health?
Mental health is an expression we use almost every day, especially in our workplaces. However, it might surprise you that the term ‘mental health” is frequently misunderstood.
Often, it’s just so damn confusing working out what people are talking about when they discuss mental health issues in the workplace. We use so many terms in organisations these days to discuss issues around mental health and wellbeing. On many occasions, I hear many different terms used but often in the wrong context and with obvious poor understanding as to what the terms mean. Just consider, there’s mental health, positive mental health, wellbeing, poor mental health, mental illness, mental disorder, flourishing, thriving, languishing. You can see why it’s easy for people to get confused.
Mental Health and Mental Illness are often terms that are used interchangeably.
So, what is Mental Health?
Mental Health is defined by the World Health Organisation as “a state of well-being in which every individual realises his or her own potential , can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community”.
Unfortunately, Mental Health is often associated and used as a substitute for asking about mental health conditions like anxiety and depression etc. But actually, rather than asking the question “what’s the problem?’, it is really about asking the question “what’s going well?” So, in fact Mental Health is about wellness rather than illness.
Mental Health and Mental Illness are not the same thing; but they are also not mutually exclusive.
A fundamental difference between mental health and mental illness is that everyone has some level of mental health all of the time, just like physical health, whereas it is possible to be without mental illness.
Take a look at Keyes Mental Health Continuum. It helps make a lot more sense of all the relative terms.
Poor mental health and mental illness has a significant impact within not only society, but within organisations. Just consider some of the statistics.
• In 2014 – The Australian Psychological Society review indicated 44% of Australians identified work as a source of stress.
• SafeWork SA has identified that Mental Health Claims are the most expensive WorkCover claims.
• At any given time, 1 out of every 5 employees is likely to be experiencing poor mental health or mental illness.
• Poor Mental Health costs Australian businesses 10 Billion dollars per year in lost productivity (4.7 billion due to absenteeism and 6.1 billion due to presenteeism)
The benefits of Mental Health and staying well
Research shows that high levels of mental health are associated with:
· increased learning
· increased creativity
· increased productivity
· more pro-social behaviour and positive social relationships
· improved physical health and life expectancy.
But it’s important to remember that mental health is complex. The fact that someone is not experiencing a mental health condition doesn’t necessarily mean their mental health is flourishing. Likewise, it’s possible to be diagnosed with a mental health condition while feeling well in many aspects of life.
Mental health is ultimately about being cognitively, emotionally and socially healthy – the way we think, feel and develop relationships - and not merely the absence of a mental health condition.
Try these 3 steps you could do to enhance your mental health starting right now.
1)Manage your stress proactively.
Consider what is causing you any unease at present. First recognise what you can and can’t control. Then consider one active step you could take to move even 1% forward on this issue. You are always in control of something, even if it is only your personal reaction.
2) Enhance your relationships
Who could you spend more time with today to enhance your relationship with that important person. Could you just sit and talk over a coffee, ask more questions about their day at the dinner table, or just make that phone call you’ve been putting off.
3) Be mindful
Consider what you are grateful for. What is currently going well in your life, even if it’s a small thing. How could you increase WWW (what’s working well.
If you would like to know more about enhancing your mental health you can contact me at [email protected] to find out more.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Leadership and Wellness Coach and Speaker / Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a Certified Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness Practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Health and Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or [email protected]
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How Not To Sabotage Your Thoughts and Actions
A great post from Paul Lyons of Mental Toughness Partners.
We have all been there and, if you’re anything like me, quite possibly today when I caught myself, red handed, in the act of self sabotaging.
“I can't do that.” “I haven't got the skills.” “What if I fail ?”
They were my first responses to an opportunity, albeit beyond my comfort zone, but well within my capability.
If someone else had told me those things I would have reacted – or preferably responded – with some vigor. However those limiting thoughts were self-directed and had I not been alert to what was happening I could have closed the door on an exciting opportunity.
Does that sound familiar?
Negative self-talk can get in the way of us achieving our goals and dreams and often it is happening subconsciously so that we don't even recognise it's happening. We’re so busy thinking negatively that when we falter or fail we just attribute it to our lack of ability, which in turn strengthens our negative mindset, ready to sabotage our efforts next time as well.
Common signs of self sabotage
There are some tell tale signs that you are sabotaging yourself:
You are procrastinating
This comes when you should be working on something but you keep finding excuses to put it off again and again.
Sometimes projects are started but you never quite finish them.
You feel demotivated and lethargic and unable to proceed, even when there are lots of exciting opportunities.
You daydream but don't act on it
Often you visualise or daydream about your eventual success but fail to do anything to make it happen.
You worry and stress
You worry about small things that really shouldn't matter.
You fear failure and what other people will think of you.
You doubt yourself and your skills and abilities even though you "know" you are capable. (This was my issue this morning.)
When faced with trying to achieve something that is important, you become over stressed and anxious that you won't be able to perform as you normally would.
You feel under-valued and worthless
In your mind you exaggerate other people's achievements but diminish your own.
You take unfair or misguided criticism to heart and let other peoples’ opinions bring you down.
Letting others put you down.
Breaking the Self Sabotaging Cycle
Since the way we think determines the way we act you must overturn this negative thinking if you are to build your self-confidence and self-esteem and prove to yourself that you can extend your capbaility beyond your comfort zone. It's not easy especially if it is ingrained thinking but here are some practical tips:
1. Recognise your self sabotaging routine
In order to stop your self-sabotage, you need to recognise your own self-sabotaging routines and negative thinking which you can do through asking yourself the following questions:
What goals have you had for a long time but not been able to accomplish?
What are your consistent or regular failures, especially those where there is no obvious reason?
Are there particular circumstances or situations where you consistently find yourself procrastinating or putting off making a decision?
Are you suffering from lack of motivation with regards to do something that you really want to do?
Do you find yourself becoming unreasonably angry or frustrated at situations.
Are there situations where your colleagues are consistently frustrated with you?
Is there something in your life that causes you dissatisfaction because you know you could do it better?
2. Monitor your own negative thinking
When you catch yourself thinking negatively record on paper what you say. By writing down all your negative thoughts when they occur you become very aware of the extent of your negative thinking and self sabotage.
3. Challenge your negative thinking
Once you know what your negative self-talk is and the circumstances when it appears then you need to dig deeper to ask yourself:
What deeper reasons lie behind these negative thoughts?
Are these thoughts rational, and based on any clear facts?
Are past unsuccessful attempts unnecessarily preventing you from making a positive change?
4. Reframe your negative thoughts into positives
Having identified and defeated the false rationale for your negative thoughts you need to reframe your negative thoughts into positives by asking yourself some searching questions:
What can you say to yourself that is positive or encouraging?
What options do you have? Is there more than one way to achieve your goal?
Can you build self-confidence by setting and achieving much smaller goals, on your way to achieving the big ones that you've not achieved in the past?
Turn your assumptions around and put them in the correct perspective. Align them with positive beliefs about what you can accomplish. When your skills, beliefs and behaviours are aligned, you will have the right mental, emotional and physical states to do whatever you set your mind to.
By understanding and recognising your self sabotaging ways, followed by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones will build your confidence and self belief and enhance your performance.
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Step Outside Your Comfort Zone To Achieve Big.
We all know the old saying, “life begins at the end of your comfort zone”. But how many of us actually live with this mantra at the forefront of our mind. We often think of challenges as scary things. So how can we actually do a bit of a recalibration and consider the “fun” side of a challenge and the opportunity for growth that this can entail. If we are going to develop our mental toughness, then we need to recognise that we need to consider challenges as an opportunity rather than as a threat. As a mum with two sons who are obsessed with gaming, I was interested to read this fantastic post by Benjamin Harvey, “How to Gamify Your Life to Quickly Accomplish Big Goals”. Ben makes some fantastic points about how we can step outside our comfort zone and view challenges as opportunities. Take it away Ben:
Is your life a video game, filled with challenging quests and new adventures?
Or has your life become somewhat stale?
As most people get older, they lose their childhood sense of wonderment and openness. Most people stop growing and settle for “reality” as they see it.
But life doesn’t have to suck. Growth doesn’t have to be slow.
Your life can become like a game where you pursue greater obstacles, learn new skills, and have thrilling experiences.
This article details a few strategies you can use to gamify your life. If you apply these strategies, you will quickly ascend to higher and higher levels. You’ll continually become better and enjoy more of life.
Compete with Those Way Ahead of You
“It is the most closely-allied forms, varieties of the same species, and species of the same genus or of related genera, which, from having nearly the same structure, constitution, and habits, generally come into the severest competition with each other.” — Charles Darwin
What Darwin is explaining is that all forms of life compete with those most closely related. In other words, you compete with those most similar to you.
It would make little sense for a painter to compete with a rock-climber. Rather, a rock-climber advances her skills by competing with other rock-climbers, generally of a similar skill-level.
In business terms, you compete with those in the same industry. And within that industry, the little guys (and gals) generally compete with the other little guys, while the big guys compete with the other big guys.
Although this is the most obvious and wide-spread form of competition, it is misplaced for those seeking rapid growth for two reasons:
1. Competing with those at your same level yields slow and minimal improvements.
You’re better off “competing” with people far advanced than your current level. In his book, The Art of Learning: An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance, Josh Waitzkin shares how he applied this principle to become world-class at Tai Chi.
When given unsupervised practice time, Waizkin observed that most others in his Tai Chi class would naturally practice with those at their same skill-level or slightly worse. This was done in many ways out of ego, because who wants to lose? It’s more fun to beat someone when given the opportunity.
Waitzkin took the opposite approach, and applied a principle he termed, “investing in failure.” He would purposefully practice with people far more skilled than he was. In so doing, he would get the crap kicked-out of him, over and over. However, this process compressed and quickened Waitzkin’s skill development. He could experience first-hand the abilities of those often years ahead of him. The mirror neurons in his brain allowed him to quickly mimic, match, and counter his superior competitors. Thus, he progressed much faster than others in his class.
This is the essence of baseball players swinging multiple bats before going at-bat. When just one bat is in their hand, it feels much lighter. Similarly, endurance athletes train in higher elevations and harder terrains than the actual race, so that when the actual race occurs, they’re over-prepared.
Take away: Rather than “competing,” with people at your perceived skill-level, compete with those who are where you want to be. Herein lies a fundamental decision-making difference between those who become successful and those who don’t. Unsuccessful people make decisions based on current circumstances while successful people make decisions based on where they desire to be.
2. The Best Only Compete with Themselves
In the book, Tribal Leadership: Leveraging Natural Groups to Build a Thriving Organization, Dave Logan and his co-authors explain that most “organizational cultures” have high within competition.
Put simply, in most organizations, the people within those organizations are competing with each other. There is back-stabbing, sucking-up, etc. to ascend the organization’s ladder. In these organizations, each person is out for themselves. They are more focused on their own goals than the organization’s goals. Logan calls these “Stage 3” organizational cultures.
Far fewer organizations evolve beyond this ego-mania and develop a culture of “collaboration” within and competition without. Put simply, members within these organizations are fiercely committed to their organization and have made the organization’s goals their own goals. Logan calls these “Stage 4” organizational cultures.
Within these organizations, there is beautiful synergy. Rather than competing with their teammates, they are competing with other organizations. According to Logan’s research, organizations with Stage 4 cultures generally dominate organizations with Stage 3 cultures.
Very rarely, an organization will transcend competition altogether, reflecting what Logan calls “Stage 5” organizational culture. These are groups of people who are doing things no one else is doing. In many ways, they’ve created their own genre or niche. Their only competition is themselves, and wherever their imagination takes them.
Take away: Collaboration will yield far greater results than competition. Said bestselling author Jeff Goins, “It’s not who you know. It’s who you help.” Eventually, get to the point where you move beyond competition with others in order to create your most innovative and unique work.
Get Multiple Mentors and Engage in Time-Based Challenges
Mentorship is essential to growth and development. You should have several different mentors to help you in your various needs/goals.
A quality mentor will give you experiential learning experiences and assignments. For example, I have a writing-coach who helps me target my Achilles heals, and to improve upon them. He does this in the form of “time-based challenges.” The popular term for these challenges is deliberate practice.
Most recently, he gave me four hours to complete a challenging assignment. I had to respond to various questions he had for me. Also, within the challenge, he’d focus on my weaknesses by telling me I must avoid certain things I often do, like repeat the same word over and over.
Within a challenge, there are purposeful constraints. These constraints create conditions that force you into a flow-state. The primary constraint is the time-limit. The other constraints are dependent on your particular goals/needs.
These challenges can have whatever time-range you want. For example, with one of my mentors, my challenge was to develop a highly professional book proposal. The duration of this challenge was three months, and during those three months I was able to jump on the phone with my mentor three times to get feedback. I’d never written a book proposal. My mentor had written several, and within the challenges he gave me, I learned in three months much of what took him years to learn.
In her book, Super Better: The Power of Living Gamefully, Jane McGonigal PhD explains the importance of targeting a single, difficult goal. Accordingly, within these “challenges,” there should only be one primary objective.
According to self-determination theory, by focusing on and improving one thing, the other areas of your life will naturally improve as well. From a systems approach, when you improve one area of a system, you simultaneously improve the whole.
You can also give yourself challenges, and for whatever you want to improve. For example, if you want to become a better parent, you could give yourself a 30-day challenge to give your kids thoughtful compliments daily. Track your progress. Note, these challenges work best if you actually report your progress to someone beside yourself.
Get Paid to Learn by Teaching Others what You Know
“While we teach, we learn.” — Seneca
In Orson Scott Card’s novel, Ender’s Game, the character Ender is a young boy who is being trained to become a military leader. To improve and quicken his learning, Ender takes what he learns from his leaders and immediately teaches those below him.
According to a pair of articles published in 2007 in the journals Science and Intelligence, students who teach what they learn to younger students work harder to understand the material, recall it more accurately, and apply it more effectively. This method has been dubbed “the protégé effect,” and the research is clear: student teachers score higher on tests than students who are learning only for their own sake.
Teaching is the best way to learn. What’s more, you can actually get paid to teach others what you know. I remember when I started consulting startup founders and high-level management. At first, I wondered what the heck I was doing.
Why would people pay me for this information?
But more and more people wanted the services I offered. Thus, I was getting paid to teach people (most of which were far more successful than I am). Although I’m sure my services were helpful, I was always the primary beneficiary, and I’m not talking about financially. Rather, because I was teaching startup founders how to be more productive and strategic, I was also learning these things — both in my preparation and in adapting my learning to each of my client’s unique situations/needs.
In public/conventional education, you pay to learn. A more effective education-system is where the student becomes the teacher, and gets paid to learn as they teach.
Take away: If you want to learn faster, immediately teach others what you’re learning. This will force you to tweak and adapt your learning for unique contexts. Thus, your knowledge will be more flexible and well-rounded. Also, it doesn’t hurt to simultaneously make money.
Make Big Changes Every Few Years
“Every next level of your life will demand a different you.” — Leonardo Dicaprio
In video games, it would be boring if each successive level was the same as those previous. Which is why there are totally different worlds your character can go to as they advance.
Similarly, making big changes is the best way to re-invent yourself, which doesn’t mean you become an entirely new person. Rather, it means you consciously decide who you want to be and change accordingly. Also, an over-attachment to your past and to your previous-self will halt your evolution.
If you don’t make big changes every once in a while, your life will get static and sterile. You’ll over-adapt to your current circumstances and stop growing. You’ll get too comfortable.
Taking on big change shatters the system of your life. I once talked to a lady with 17 kids. After having eight of her own, her husband and her adopted a sibling group of five! Four years after that, they adopted a sibling group of four!
She told me that every time they introduced a change to their family system, the previous system shattered. When you bring four or five new people into your family (even one), every person within the family develops a new identity. It generally takes 2–3 years for homeostasis to occur within a system after a big shock.
These kinds of systematic shocks to your life may seem freaky, or even unwanted. But they keep you growing. And eventually, you’ll adapt to the changes you introduce into your life, no matter how extreme. If you want to keep leveling-up and growing, you’ll want to introduce change when you start getting comfortable.
This is how you consciously grow. Indeed, change is inevitable. Most people slowly and unconsciously change overtime. For the most part, these changes aren’t improvements. Unlike change, which you can’t avoid, growth is optional, and is often avoided. However, the research is clear: we are happiest when we are improving.
When my wife and I became foster parents of a sibling group of three, the change was extremely difficult. Sometimes, it was too much to handle. But it’s been two years now, and for the most part, we’ve reached a state of homeostasis. Looks like it’s time to make another big change…
Conclusion
Your life can become a game where growth is fun.
A game without challenge would be boring. Similarly, your life will be boring and stale if you’re not taking on greater and greater challenges. These challenges should be time-bound, and should expose your weaknesses and facilitate your strengths. Moreover, these challenges should clearly lead to your goals, which should progressively be getting bigger and better.
Lastly, a game would be lame if it wasn’t fun and exciting. Thus, there should be large portions of your life spent exploring and experimenting. Trying new things. Taking new risks. Having your worldview expanded. Meeting new people. Ever-evolving.
Enjoy this game of life. Take yourself to the next level. The further you go, the more magical, difficult, and satisfying your life will be.
Want to know more about developing your mental toughness and stepping outside your comfort zone? Send me an email at [email protected] to enquire about coaching and training.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Wellbeing Strategist, Leadership and Wellbeing Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness Practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or [email protected]
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Is The Running Of Your Mental Load Checklist Impacting Your Sleep?
You know what it’s like. You’re lying there in bed, it’s been 2 hours since you put your head on the pillow and your brain is still buzzing with no end in sight of it ever taking a break. All you want so desperately is to just relax and drift off into a peaceful and rejuvenating sleep but this just seems totally impossible given your brain will just not shut up.
If there is one thing we can do to dramatically increase our performance, creativity, wellbeing, life expectancy and reduce a number of health issues, it’s the opportunity to get more sleep. Often we associate sleeping longer with being weak or lazy, but this is far from realistic, in fact it’s almost the opposite.
If you regularly sleep less than 7 hours a night you could be suffering from sleep deprivation and you will not be maximising your opportunity for wellbeing. If you have six or less hours sleep a night for three nights in a row, you’re operating on the same cognitive level as a drunk person. It goes without saying that it can’t be good for us or the work we need to be able to do during the day.
Whether you’re a sleep-deprived parent, run a business, have an excessive workload or can’t switch off from the mental load checklist running through your mind when your head hits the pillow (or all of the above), there are things we can do to switch off and get a better night’s rest.
Dr. Carmel Harrington, a clinical researcher, author, speaker and therapist writes:
A recent (August 2017) Deloitte Access Economics Report found that 7.4 million Australian adults regularly experience inadequate sleep, equivalent to 40% of the adult population. And there are high economic costs associated with this. The report estimates that the total cost of inadequate sleep in Australia is $66.3 billion or about $8,968 per adult and this includes productivity losses estimated at $17.9 B or $2418 per adult.
It seems that the impacts are significant – to us as individuals, to our families, to our workplaces and to our relationships.
In the long term, if you regularly don’t get enough sleep or sleep poorly over long periods, you are five times more likely to develop depression, three times more likely to experience cognitive decline and your chances of developing dementia are doubled. The risk of obesity increases by 50 per cent and your odds of cardiovascular disease are twice as high as someone who regularly sleeps well and sufficiently.
On the plus side research indicates that well-slept people are more likely to have:
• a better memory • an increased level of creativity • a better ability to concentrate and think • better grades / performance at work • a healthy weight and healthy metabolism. • a positive mood state (happy and energetic) • better immunity to colds and flu • better athletic performance • a longer life
A sleep routine is often critical to getting to sleep and maintaining sleep. We can readily learn to connect a particular stimulus with a particular reflex. For example, if every night we go to bed only to watch television for an hour or so, we are inadvertently conditioning ourselves to stay awake for up to an hour every time we go to bed.
As a result, on the nights we go to bed and want to go to sleep immediately, we will find it very difficult. This susceptibility to conditioning can work in our favour so that when we set up a good night time regime (like setting the alarm one hour before bedtime and switching off) our body and brain learn that this is the time we go to sleep and reflexively we will.
How we sleep at night is also very dependent upon how we spend our day.
To get the best sleep possible we do need to prepare both our mind and body for sleep.
To prepare the body, we need to:
• Get up at the same time every day. • Exercise for at least 20 minutes per day (a walk at lunchtime is good) • Not have caffeine after midday • Refrain from alcohol • Not sleep during the day (a nap of 20 minutes is ok) • Eat only a small meal at night and especially no big meal within 3 hours of bedtime. • Not exercise within 3 hours of bedtime (this will alert the body)
To prepare the mind, we need to:
• Deal with the issues of the day: in the early evening spend no more than 20 minutes writing events of the day that are of concern along with potential solutions. The close the book and put it away. • Set the alarm one hour before bedtime. At that time: - turn off all technology - dim the lighting in the room - warm-hot shower - relaxation exercise
Ensure that the bed and bedroom environment is conducive to sleep, meaning it is: -quiet -cool -dark -absolutely no technology.
There are various factors that also affect sleep quality – from light and temperature in the bedroom to diet, exercise and lifestyle habits. For example, your mattress and pillow, the overall ambience of a bedroom, how cluttered it is, whether it is too light in the morning, too noisy at night, too hot or too cold can all make a huge impact.
How many hours do you sleep per night? What is the biggest factor disturbing your sleep?
This article has been adapted and modified from a recent article by Carmel Harrington. See original article here.
Want to know more about developing your wellbeing routine? Send me an email at [email protected] to enquire about coaching and training.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Wellbeing Strategist, Leadership and Wellbeing Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness Practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or [email protected]
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In A Pickle? Use Your Mental Toughness To Burst Out Of The Blocks
Thought I would share this great post by Leadership Coach Paul Lyons who is the CEO of Mental Toughness Partners, of whom I am a member in Australasia. I love the way Paul writes.
Take it away Paul………..
Being mentally tough means you have a confident and resilient mindset which helps you improve your performance and wellbeing in every part of your life including work, personal relationships and leisure. It is a “must have” life skill.
The MTQ48 4C mental toughness framework is a simple and scientifically valid guide to building your mental toughness. Outlined below are the broad principles under each heading of the 4C’s, which comprise Control, Commitment, Challenge and Confidence.
Control - Be in control of yourself and your emotions
Being in control of what happens to you and how you react is fundamental to being able to enjoy a happy and successful life.
Being in control stems from having a meaning or purpose to what you do and knowing what matters to you and what doesn't. This purpose gives you direction and perspective to your life or work and enables you to better overcome setbacks and challenges. Knowing the boundaries to what matters helps you focus your energies on what you believe in and can control and less about those you are less interested in or can’t control.
Being in control helps you to manage your emotions and anxiety so that you can respond in the way you want to rather than react in the ways you don't when stressful situations arise.
Commitment - Set and deliver your goals
Doing things. Making it happen. Achieving goals.
Being successful in your life is about setting goals that are important to you fulfilling your purpose and then achieving them to the required standard one step at a time.
The better you are at doing this the more successful you will be and it starts with setting goals that are achievable and then taking action. The first action is almost always the hardest – you need to complete that one to develop some momentum.
There are always distractions and diversions to prevent you achieving your goals and so your focus is incredibly important here. When you focus, you achieve more, with better quality results and are more likely to complete your goals on time.
Challenge - Stretch yourself and learn from everything
The most exciting events in your life can happen when you move out of your comfort zone. You learn new things about yourself and about the world at large.
You have to make decisions you haven’t made before, often in unfamiliar surroundings or situations. In this territory failure is more likely as you learn to adapt but mentally tough people accept that failure is part of your growth and self-improvement. You 'win some, learn some' and each failure or setback takes you closer to achieving your goal.
Confidence - Become confident and influential
Confidence and self belief comes from different sources including from your capability and continual implementation of your skills and expertise. If you completed something successfully today you are more likely to feel confident about completing it successfully tomorrow. Practice makes perfect.
Another key source of confidence flows from adopting a positive and resilient mindset - the glass half full approach, much of this comes from managing your self-talk. If you can think positively about yourself and the world you can have a significantly positive impact on the way you feel and act. This also has a positive impact on those around you.
In summary, using the MTQ48 mental toughness 4C’s framework can help you get out of a pickle or conversely burst out of the blocks.
Want to know more about the MTQ48 and discovering how you can develop Mental Toughness? Send me an email at [email protected]
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How to be a Guardian of Your Mental Health Galaxy
Ok I admit it. I am a bit of a sci fi geek. Star Wars, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings and lately Guardians of The Galaxy all feature as regulars on my movie watch list when there is nothing good on TV (which is often the case).
It occurred to me that the Guardians of the Galaxy seem to work incredibly well together despite all their diversity (even when the team has a racoon) and manage to work together with a common purpose. Even those with limited communication skills (I am Groot) can still share a great deal in the vision of any team.
When it comes to developing a Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategy for your team, the same principles apply. Despite diversity, difference of opinion, different tools and strategies of each individual, different communication capabilities - a team can come together to develop a killer mental health and wellbeing strategy that can help their organisation be the best in the galaxy.
Investing in wellbeing provides tangible outcomes for both staff and an organisation. When staff are taking care of their wellbeing and are engaged the results include:
· Fewer safety incidents
· Reduced turnover of staff
· Lower absenteeism
· Less quality defects
· Increased productivity and profitability
· Increased customer ratings
Many health and wellbeing programmes tend to focus on only one aspect of wellbeing - usually physical health rather than considering the whole person or the whole organisation. The goal seems to be on keeping people healthy. Focusing on physical wellness is one thing but it is simply not as comprehensive, nor as effective as addressing wellbeing and mental health as well.
When wellbeing is addressed from a holistic perspective, the goal is to thrive from a physical, emotional, psychological, social and business perspective.
When considering a Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategy for your organisation consider a comprehensive approach.
It is also not sufficient to focus on only the negative impact that work and the work environment can have on employees and organisations. Understanding the potential negative impacts of work is important and can contribute to preventing physical and mental illness and losses in productivity. However an approach that focuses purely on the dysfunctional elements of work in order to prevent illness does not adequately capture the elements of the workforce that engage employees. Nor does it explain why some organisations develop environments where employees can thrive and reach their maximum potential. Just consider if the Guardians Of The Galaxy only focused on their dysfunctional characteristics – geesh they’d never get anything done.
Rather than focus on risks a positive wellbeing strategy in any galaxy needs to focus on opportunities, strengths and resources.
Consider some great strategies to get you started.
Move your focus to encompass all aspects of wellbeing within your galaxy.
Promote positive choices and activities that your guardians find intrinsically motivating to do every day.
Encourage your leaders to cultivate a positive emotional climate and lead by example. Consider feedback, reward and recognition, together with vision and good direction, conflict management and supporting employee growth. Promote an environment of trust and fairness by considering the provision of meaningful and engaging work, providing support through change and promoting a sense of social belonging.
Develop a work environment that promotes positive health and wellbeing and considers respectful interactions, showing genuine care for others, altruistic behaviour and noticing and appreciating positive work experiences.
Promote positive communication.
Design jobs for the promotion of wellbeing through job crafting.
Support and develop employees and ensure a strengths based approach to build work place engagement. Have conversations about what individuals feel they are good at and what gives them energy in the workplace. Discuss how staff can use their strengths within their roles.
Set challenging but achievable goals to build belief in personal ability and capability.
Build a coaching culture into your work place where you encourage ‘above the line’ behaviour and attitudes focused on accountability, responsibility, options, possibilities and solutions.
If you aim to make wellbeing a part of your galaxies culture, you have the ultimate potential to make your organisation the Guardian of the Wellbeing Galaxy.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop strategies to enhance their wellbeing to move from surviving to thriving. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or [email protected]
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How Can You Stride Into A Growth Mindset And Develop Mental Toughness?
I am currently working with a team who are going through significant change. Some members of the team seem to be taking it all in their stride and are even enjoying the challenge. One team member in this group even volunteered a quote that I quite like.
“You can’t stop the waves,
But you can learn how to surf”
However other members of the team are struggling to come to terms with how the change impacts them and one comment I continue to hear regularly is “I feel like I’m not in control”.
The team members are obviously in different stages of accepting or resisting the change process but there is also a fundamental difference in many team members relating to whether they have a fixed or a growth mindset.
• FIXED MINDSET
Individuals believe that talents are innate gifts. People spend their time documenting their intelligence instead of developing it. They tend to worry about looking smart and are often worried that they might be ‘found out’. They tend to avoid risk, focus on ability rather than effort, consider effort as disagreeable, see success as effortless, feel failure can be attributed to others, and consider setbacks are to be avoided.
• GROWTH MINDSET
Individuals believe their talents can be developed (through dedicated hard work, good strategies and input from others) and therefore they put a lot of effort into learning. They consider their brains are just the starting point. Challenge is seen as a good thing, they have confidence in themselves, they learn from mistakes, hard work is seen as more important than ability, they consider practice develops ability, they recognize people can change and they accept that what one person can learn everyone can learn. This view basically creates a love of learning.
When not only individuals, but organisations embrace a growth mindset, employees report feeling far more empowered and committed, they also receive far greater organisational support for collaboration and innovation. In contrast praising brains and talent alone does not actually foster self-esteem and accomplishment, but instead jeopardises them.
When it comes to our Mental Toughness to manage change and challenges we do have the ability to change the way we think. We can do this in two ways.
1. Permanent – change our thinking habits – rewire and develop new habits
2. Temporary – flick a switch and behave like a Mentally Tough person – turbo charge your thoughts, focus your mind, think and act confidently and positively.
“It’s not how good you are.
It’s how good you want to be”
You can develop your Mental Toughness in each of the 4Cs of Control, Commitment, Challenge and Confidence.
· View Challenges as Opportunities – relish opportunities to learn something new and see opportunities for self-improvement.
· Try different ways to learn – there is no one size fits all. What works for you?
· Replace the word “failing” with the word “learning”
· Recognise what is within your control – focus on what you can control and not what is outside your circle of influence. What is particularly within your control is your own attitude.
· Stop seeking external approval. Put learning over approval and value the process over the end result.
· Consider commitment to your purpose – keep the big picture in mind and consider the steps to get you there.
· Celebrate your growth – with self and with others
· Recognise growth over speed – when are you doing something smart, not just being smart!
· Recognise criticism as a positive thing – think of all the valuable information you have just been gifted.
· Give yourself plenty of time for reflection – at least once a day.
· Cultivate determination – and seek approval from self not from others.
· Take risks – there is no such thing as failure, only a new learning experience.
· Be realistic about time and effort – it takes time to learn and effort to master. Nothing comes overnight.
· Take ownership of your attitude – own your growth mindset and let it guide you in life and in your career.
Want to know more about developing you and your team’s growth mindset? Send me an email at [email protected] to enquire about mental toughness and developing a growth mindset.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or [email protected]
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5 Ways To Ride the Roller Coaster to Build Your Self-Confidence
The last two weeks has been quite a challenge for me and my self-confidence felt like it was going up and down like a rollercoaster.
You see last week I made the decision to find a permanent office with a very expensive price tag attached. I found that one minute my little inner voice was saying “c’mon you got this, you can do it” and the next minute that little inner voice was saying “what the hell makes you think you can do this, are you crazy? Stop the ride I wanna get off”
I found that little inner voice to be challenging and supporting me in a very positive way one moment and then almost tearing me down and undermining me the next.
I think many people experience this same difficulty. We would like a much more consistent voice telling us what we “can do” and to turn down the voice that tells us what we “can’t do”.
For many of us, confidence seems to be this illusive entity, like trying to catch a puff of smoke. We constantly ruminate with self-talk and ask ourselves, “how do I be more self-confident”? We recognise that having confidence assists us in all aspects of our life – to build relationships, achieve our goals, increase our performance, work outside our comfort zone and be successful at work. Confidence and being confident is something we all aim for. When we have self-belief we find ourselves being more positive and have a “can do” attitude. When we have lost our self-confidence, we know we want it back… and fast.
So how can we build our self-confidence?
1) Act Like You Mean It
When we observe another individual to be confident, their body language is often demonstrating this quite clearly to those around them. How do you look when you communicate? Do you look like you mean it? Do you:
look down at the floor or upright, shoulders back
nervous and fidget or eye contact and steady
hunched / slouching or standing up straight
hesitant voice or strong clear voice
tense and monotone or relaxed speech
When it comes to confidence, we can “fake it ‘till we make it”. We can demonstrate the behaviour, communication and body language indicative of a confident individual while we are waiting for our self-talk and goal setting to catch up with us.
2) Build a Pyramid
Consider a goal and how you would like to build your confidence to gain success.
Think about what you might like to achieve – for example give a presentation in a team meeting. Then put this goal at the top of the pyramid.
Then start at the bottom of the pyramid with small steps and work your way up – eg
· Bottom line: research my topic and get very familiar with my topic and content.
· Next line: Meet with team members who have successfully presented at team meetings and ask for tips.
· Then after that….formulate a killer presentation.
· Then present in front of my family.
· Join Toast Masters to gain more confidence in public speaking
· You can then finish with your final goal… To give my presentation
You try now. Consider your own goal. Put the final outcome at the top of the pyramid and build in the action steps from the bottom. Put in as many action steps as you need to.
Remember – each action step should push you a little further than the previous step but still be achievable.
3) Ask yourself “Above The Line” Questions.
When we find ourselves “below the line” we have an opportunity to reframe those statements and ask ourselves questions that enable us to promote accountability, positivity, action and outcomes.
4) Visualise the Outcome
If we experience doubt, we will often see ourselves failing. If we want to succeed, we need to build a picture that demonstrates the tangibility of success. The goal is to use your mind and thoughts to create a picture of something you would like to achieve or be, so that you can:
See what that looks like
Imagine how you would feel when it is done.
5) Strengths Spotting
You can learn to spot strengths in yourself every day. You can use these observations for self-reflection and by recognising and using our strengths every day, we build our confidence in our ability to achieve results and reach our goals.
Try these strength spotting tips and recognise that as they happen, chances are you’ll be using your strengths in some way:
Energy – What activities give you an energetic high when you are performing them?
Authentic – When do you feel most like “the real you”.
Easy – What activities seem to just come naturally to you and which are you just good at without even really trying?
Attention – where do you just naturally pay attention, without being asked?
Motivation – What are the things that really motivate you? What do you do simply for the love of doing them?
Time – when does time just seem to go quickly without you even noticing?
Learning – when do you seem to just pick things up and have a rapid rate of learning?
Tone – when do you notice your tone of voice goes up a pitch with excitement?
To Do Lists – the things that always make it on to your to do list vs the things that never do.
Words – Listen to the words you use. When you are saying things like “I love to…” or “I feel great when…”.
So now it’s your turn to listen to that voice which tells you that “you can”, and I hope your roller coaster has more ups than downs.
Want to know more about increasing your self-confidence? Send me an email at [email protected] to enquire about coaching to build your self-confidence and your interpersonal confidence.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or [email protected]
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Recruiting Staff To Manage challenges.
Have you noticed that often it is not the most talented staff that are the most successful in a work place? These days we are considering soft skills, in particular emotional intelligence when we recruit new staff. But in the current VUCA (Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, Ambiguity) landscape, are we also considering recruitment of staff with awareness of whether they have a fixed or a growth mindset? Are we considering whether they have resilience and Mental Toughness so as to to be able to manage change and have the confidence to manage their emotions and thrive in this dynamic landscape?
Organisations now need to consider recruitment of staff for their positive mindset, their commitment and determination to enable them to push through the roller-coaster ride of change and challenges and achieve sustained success. Many staff often succeed because they are Mentally Tough.
What is Mental Toughness? Mental Toughness isn’t being macho or uncaring or self-centred – it’s about being tough in the sense of developing resilience and confidence – both of which are key ingredients for success in any workplace.
Mental Toughness is a mindset that describes your default response when faced with stress, pressures or challenges, irrespective of the prevailing circumstances. This mindset makes a significant impact on your performance, positive behaviour and personal wellbeing.
On the other hand, mental sensitivity (the other end of the scale to Mental Toughness) can leave staff open to self-doubt and frailty in the face of the same stress, pressures, challenges or difficult circumstances.
Research has identified that Mental Toughness consists of four components, the 4Cs of:
Control - having a sense of self-worth and feeling in control of your life. Control describes the extent to which a person can control the display of their emotions. A Mentally Tough person will usually just “get on with it” irrespective of how they feel and their positive approach often lifts other people’s spirits. This Control enables staff to work through the emotions of the highs and lows without seemingly being derailed.
Commitment is about goal orientation and ‘stickability’ anddescribes the extent to which someone is prepared to set goals for what they need to do and make measurable promises that, once made, they will work hard to deliver on.
Challenge describes the extent to which the individual will push back their boundaries, embrace change and accept risk. Mentally Tough people view challenges, change and adversity as opportunities rather than threats and will relish the chance to learn and grow in a new and dynamic environment. Someone whose challenge score is high will typically enjoy new places, new people, innovation and creativity.
Confidence describes the self-belief an individual has in their own abilities and the interpersonal confidence they have to influence others and deal with conflict and challenge. Staff high in confidence, will possess the self-belief to deal with a situation and the inner strength to stand their ground when needed. Their confidence enables them to represent their view boldly and be comfortable in handling objections.
The Benefits of Mental Toughness
Being mentally tough brings a variety of benefits for an individual and an organisation. Research has concluded that those with higher scores on the 4 C’s enjoy the following:
Better performance – it explains up to 25% of the variation in performance.
Improved positivity – adoption of more of a “can do” approach
Greater wellbeing – more contentment and better stress management.
Change management – a calmer lower stress response to organisational change.
Increased aspirations – greater ambition and confidence in achieving those ambitions and a greater willingness to persevere to do so.
You Can Measure Mental Toughness.
You can measure the Mental Toughness of potential staff. The MTQ48 is a popular and versatile psychometric tool which is both valid and reliable and is used globally. It is an ideal measure for organisations looking to recruit staff that may have to endure high levels of stress in customer focused roles, uncertainty, pace and rapidly changing priorities. The MTQ48 provides a profile which assesses current Mental Toughness and can also be used to develop Mental Toughness for staff through a tool box of interventions.
So, given the challenges faced by organisations both now and looking into the future, we want to be able to recruit for Mental Toughness or be able to develop Mental Toughness in our staff if they are going to be able to exercise the Control, Commitment, Confidence and ability to manage Challenge that we require in this VUCA environment.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or [email protected]
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Is asking the question RUOK Enough?
There has been a lot of publicity lately around the new catch phrase to assist you to ask someone close to you whether they are experiencing poor mental health. Asking people we care about the RUOK question is a great first step. But does it go far enough, especially when you use the question literally and don’t ask any additional questions. Does asking RUOK really equip you to feel confident to manage and handle all the potential reactions that you may get from asking this question?
Unfortunately the response to the RUOK question I hear most often from people approached is this… “I’m fine”.
Interestingly, someone who is actually “fine” doesn’t use the response “I’m fine” to describe how they feel. They use expressions like “fine thanks” or “not bad” or “I’m doin’ ok”.
When I hear someone using the expression “I’m fine”, I usually think of the acronym for fine - F.I.N.E – Freaked Out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. So when someone says to me “I’m fine”, what I interpret this to mean is “I feel like my life is out of control and I am freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional”. This is my signal to test the “I’m fine” response and drill a bit deeper.
So how do we get past the “I’m fine” response and really feel confident to ask someone we care about at home or at work how they really are and feel confident to offer support and assistance?
1) Ask open questions.
The problem with RUOK is that it is in fact a closed question. We can answer this question with a yes or no answer. It is much more engaging to ask open questions where you have the opportunity to start a conversation and explore how a person is thinking and feeling.
“How have you been lately? What’s been happening?”
“You haven’t seemed like yourself lately – I’ve noticed…...(give some feedback on what you have observed in their appearance, behaviour etc) Is there something you’d like to talk about?”
“What’s going on for you at the moment?
“Tell me what’s happening for you at the moment?”
“How are you going? Would you like to chat about anything?”
“I’d love to buy you a coffee and talk about how things are going for you and how you’re managing all the things on your plate”
“You look like you might be struggling a bit, can I lend an ear and talk it through with you?”
Be open, be encouraging and be honest. If someone is ready to talk they will usually be thankful that someone noticed they were struggling.
2) Just listen.
Once you have asked an initial question to initiate a conversation, just let the other person speak. If there is a silent pause, don’t try and fill it with more personal insights and advice. An expression used by coaches is to “hold the space”. Let the other person know you will not talk over them, or try to fill awkward silences; you just want to hear from them.
Your goal at this stage is not to give advice, and to be quite honest a person is less likely to take any advice you give if they don’t feel you understand their problem in the first place. So before you can get to offer any support, you have to let a person have “verbal diarrhoea” (as my mum used to say). You have to have empathy (and remember empathy= understanding).
Consider:
Listening without judgement (about the person or the situation).
You do not want to listen to respond.
You do not want to listen to give advice.
You do not want to rush them.
Consider your body language – what does it say about your attentiveness?
Don’t try to fix their problems.
Don’t talk about your own problems or draw similarities with your experiences.
Don’t say “you just need to harden up”, “You’re worrying about nothing” “You’ll be fine”.
3) What If You Lead The Horse To Water and It Won’t Drink?
Sometimes a person is basically not ready to talk to you yet. Your goal then is to lay out a trough of the most sparkling, crystal clear water you can possibly offer and then gently reinforce the offer over frequent (but not annoying) intervals.
You could try and find out if there are any reasons they don’t feel like talking. You could ask whether they would feel more comfortable talking to another person and whether you could push that person their way. Just let the person know that you are prepared to talk whenever they are ready. Ask permission to just check back in on them in a day or so. Let someone just know that you are thinking of them.
(Be conscious though, that if the situation moves toward crisis point, stronger intervention may be required.)
This is just the beginning. Feeling confident to recognise warning signs, approach people with confidence and know how to initiate a conversation are all valuable tools we all need when taking mutual responsibility to promote good mental health in our communities and workplaces.
Want to know more about Mental Health Awareness and Managing Conversations training for your workplace. Send me an email at [email protected] to enquire about training to build confidence and work place capability in both leaders and staff.
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or [email protected]
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10 Good Reasons Why You Need A Mental Toughness Coach
My fellow Mental Toughness Practitioner in Sydney, Paul Lyons recently provided this great read to understand what a Mental Toughness Coach can do for you.
I’ll admit up front that as an experienced Mental Toughness Coach and Psychologist I am biased on believing you may need a mental toughness coach. However, I have assisted many people to understand their mindset and how they can proactively manage this to recognise that they can empower themselves to fulfil their goals and to achieve greater positivity and lower their personal levels of stress. We need to be able to recognise in life how we can “starfish up”.
This can work for you and here are 10 reasons why:
1. You can see the wood for the trees
One of the challenges of life is that you can easily become caught up in the everyday emotional rollercoaster and lose your perspective. Someone neutral, removed from the emotion of the situation, like a Coach or a Psychologist, can assist you look beyond it. They will help you to articulate your current reality and ideal future state and achieve that by working with you through the priorities, challenges and opportunities.
A mental toughness coach will focus on improving your performance and wellbeing. They will ideally use the MTQ 4C’s framework to help you understand and identify the mental obstacles and interference that prevent you from performing to your potential.
Author Tim Gallwey in his book 'Inner Game of Tennis' developed a simple model: Performance = Potential – Interference that simplifies the challenge you face to being the best you can be.
2. You can regain your passion and sense of identity
In reaffirming your path from now to the future, your Mental Toughness Coach will help you rediscover your passion and align it properly with your goals to get you motivated and keep you motivated. This will reinforce your sense of identity –who you are, what you stand for and why, and with it the emotional boundaries that reinforce your definition. As a result, you build your self-esteem, self-efficacy and with them a positive mental attitude.
This is an important piece in the puzzle because you learn that if you think you can, you can.
3. Learn to control what you can control
With your Mental Toughness Coach you can learn to identify what situations and circumstances you can control and then to better control them. Similarly, you’ll learn to largely ignore what you can’t control.
4. Better manage your emotions
Emotions are important and thankfully as humans we all have them. With your Mental Toughness Coach you can identify the strongest emotions you have and how they can help and hinder you, especially in a team environment. You have to learn how to regulate your anger, disappointment, fear and confusion when decisions or situations don't go your way and sometimes your elation and joy when they do.
5. Improve your focus
One of the challenges of the modern world is that it is too easy to become distracted and diverted from achieving your goals. Your Mental Toughness Coach will help you set your goals, imagine and visualise your success and learn how to change the channel of your distractions to concentrate and focus more efficiently.
6. Reframe negative situations and failures as positive opportunities to learn
One of my career turning points came from a shift in thinking about failure. I used to think that failure was opposite to, rather than an important part of, success. Your Mental Toughness Coach will help you to reframe negative situations or setbacks as opportunities to learn and also to think about the problem differently. Should you persist with your current course of action or is there another way?
7. Become more flexible and adaptable by being uncomfortable
Your comfort zone is called a comfort zone for a reason. It’s comfortable. Your Mental Toughness Coach will help you to think differently and become comfortable in being uncomfortable. Being more adaptable to changes when they occur and more flexible when you need to be will help you see opportunities and be prepared to take greater risks to achieve them.
8. Manage your inner voice
We all have an inner voice that expresses an opinion, usually negative, that can have us second-guessing an opinion or decision. Your Mental Toughness Coach will help you to create a script and learn how to use your inner voice positively and objectively.
9. Develop your confidence and self-belief
A major part of your mental strength mental strength comes from your confidence in your own ability to perform well in what you do. Sometimes you can lose it, or not develop it at the same pace as your technical or operational skills, which can hinder your progression. This lack of confidence prevents you from performing the way you should, which in turn affects your self-confidence. Your Mental Toughness Coach will help you break this vicious cycle through various techniques that include regular reaffirmation, visualisation, controlled breathing and others.
10. Improve your wellbeing – care for yourself
In improving your mental fitness you need to pay attention to ensuring your body and brain can work efficiently. Your Mental Toughness Coach will help you develop routines and habits around sleep, diet, exercise and learning to recognise and manage your stress levels.
The above are ten of many reasons how a Mental Toughness Coach can help you to improve your performance, positivity, adaptability and wellbeing. This can start through some self-reflection gained from taking the MTQ Plus psychometric test which measures your Mental Toughness and highlights any mental obstacles you may have.
Want to know more? Contact Michelle on 0412047590 or via email [email protected]
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing.
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One Clear Step To Help You Into A Growth Mindset
The one thing I have always wanted to do is go on a Segway.
I have seen people on them before and they look like so much fun. However, I have been constantly worried about falling on my butt and looking like a fool and embarrassing not only myself but my kids as well.
However, on a recent trip oversees, I vowed that I was going to give it a go.
As you can see from the photo – I DID IT!!
So it got me thinking – what can we actually gain from pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone every single day.
The thing is, if we never make a mistake, isn’t it also the case that we have never pushed ourselves out of our comfort zone.
We never actually put ourselves in the position of learning anything new and as a result we never actually experience any growth.
So, what if we now translate this into our work environments? Are we pushing ourselves enough? Are we learning enough?
If we are going to survive in a fast paced ever changing and dynamic landscape, then we need to be able to be agile and not be constantly plagued by worry over whether we will always get it right the first time.
Developing a growth mindset from an individual, leadership or even organisational perspective takes hard work and dedication.
So what does an individual with a growth mindset look like?
• FIXED MINDSET
Individuals believe that talents are innate gifts. People spend their time documenting their intelligence instead of developing it. They tend to worry about looking smart and are often worried that they might be ‘found out’. They tend to avoid risk, focus on ability rather than effort, consider effort as disagreeable, see success as effortless, feel failure can be attributed to others, and consider setbacks are to be avoided.
• GROWTH MINDSET
Individuals believe their talents can be developed (through dedicated hard work, good strategies and input from others) and therefore they put a lot of effort into learning. They consider their brains are just the starting point. Challenge is seen as a good thing, they have confidence in themselves, they learn from mistakes, hard work is seen as more important than ability, they consider practice develops ability, they recognise people can change and they accept that what one person can learn everyone can learn. This view basically creates a love of learning.
When it comes to our Mental Toughness to manage change and challenges, we do have the ability to change the way we think. We can do this in two ways.
1. Permanent – change our thinking habits – rewire and develop new habits
2. Temporary – flick a switch and behave like a Mentally Tough person – turbo charge your thoughts, focus your mind, think and act confidently and positively.
When I work with individuals to develop their growth mindset, the model of Mental Toughness works really well and although we focus on the 4Cs of Control, Commitment, Challenge and Confidence, I particularly focus on the Challenge C.
Challenge -Risk Taking – I will push myself. I am driven to succeed
-Learning from experience. Setbacks are chances to learn.
There is one simple way that you can embrace a growth mindset and enhance your ability to manage Challenges every day – You can push yourself outside your comfort zone even in a small way – every single day.
When we don’t know what’s going to happen next it can be pretty stressful. As a result, we tend to want to avoid these situations. We know that our brains fight to keep the status quo and we literally have to train our brains to experience and desensitize to the experience of stepping outside of our comfort zone.
When we feel uncertainty, it signals us that we are unsure of our environment and uncertain of our skills to cope. But what it also does is send a signal to our brain that we have to start learning.
What it means is that some situations might be really uncomfortable, but they are also essential if we are going to make the most out of our brain and see our learning grow.
Your comfort zone is basically a switch off for your brain���s growth.
So, what can we do about this?
We need to make sure we are pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone every single day. It does not have to be a huge push on the first day. We need to recognise that sometimes the aggregation of marginal gains is invaluable in helping us move in the direction we hope to travel and gain momentum.
It could start with just changing the type of coffee you order every day and trying something new. You could try a different way of communicating with an individual that you have struggled to connect with and ask them questions to get to know them better. You could approach your boss about an idea that you’ve had but never been brave enough to discuss. You could speak up in a meeting. You could try going on a Segway (lol)
Whatever you decide to do, do it daily.
You have probably heard of a Gratitude Diary – ie writing 3 things down that you have been grateful for that day.
Well how about adding to this and doing your “Push” for the day – the one thing you have pushed yourself out of your comfort zone to do that day.
What will your “push” be for today?
Want to know more about developing a growth mindset and mental toughness? Send me an email at [email protected]
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing. You can find her at www.bakjacconsulting.com or [email protected]
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6 Effects Of Chronic Stress On Our Brain and How To Manage Them
So many of us have dynamic lives with a huge range of stressors impacting us daily. We all know that stress impacts us negatively, some experiencing more negative impacts than others. I was reading this article by Deane Alban which explores the impacts chronic stress can have on our brains, and it is quite startling.
Chronic stress increases the stress hormone cortisol and affects many brain functions, putting you at risk for many mood disorders and other mental issues.
Chronic stress, the kind most of us face every day, can in fact be very harmful.
90% of doctor visits are for stress-related health complaints.
Chronic stress can make you more vulnerable to everything from diseases to the common cold.
The non-stop elevation of stress hormones not only makes your body sick, it negatively impacts your brain as well.
The Dangers of Chronic Stress and Cortisol
There are two main kinds of stress — acute stress and chronic stress — and, despite what you might think, not all stress is bad for you.
Acute stress is the reaction to an immediate threat, commonly known as the “fight or flight” response.
Once the threat has passed, your levels of stress hormones return to normal with no long-lasting effects.
Some degree of acute stress is even considered desirable as it primes your brain for peak performance.
Epinephrine (also known as adrenaline) and norepinephrine are stress hormones produced on an as-needed basis in moments of extreme excitement.
They help you think and move fast in an emergency.
In the right situation, they can save your life.
They don’t linger in the body, dissipating as quickly as they were created.
Cortisol, on the other hand, streams through your system all day long, and this is what can make it so dangerous.
Excess cortisol leads to a host of physical health problems including weight gain, osteoporosis, digestive problems, hormone imbalances, heart disease, and diabetes.
Chronic stress takes a toll on adrenal glands, leaving you feeling “wired but tired”.
Cortisol also takes an equally high toll on your brain.
The Effects Of Chronic Stress On Your Brain
Some of these brain-related stress symptoms will be obvious to you, like memory loss, brain fog, anxiety and worry.
But most of these effects of stress on your brain are behind the scenes.
When stress becomes chronic, it changes your brains function and even its structure down to the level of your DNA.
You don’t notice they’re happening but you will notice the side effects…. Eventually.
So here are 6 ways chronic stress impacts your brain health and mental well-being along with some simple steps you can take to counteract the damage.
1) Chronic stress makes you forgetful and emotional
Memory problems may be one of the first signs of stress that you will notice.
Misplaced keys and forgotten appointments have you scrambling, further adding to your stress.
If you find all the stress is making you more emotional too, there is a physiological reason for this. Studies show that when you’re stressed, electrical signals in the brain associated with factual memories weaken while areas in the brain associated with emotions strengthen.
2) Stress creates a vicious cycle of fear and anxiety
Stress builds up an area of your brain called the amygdala. This is your brain’s fear centre.
Stress increases the size, activity level and number of neural connections in this part of your brain. This makes you more fearful, causing a vicious cycle of even more fear and stress.
3) Stress halts the production of new brain cells.
Every day you lose brain cells, but every day you have the opportunity to create new ones. Brain Derived Neurotrophic Factor (BDNF) is a protein that’s integral in keeping existing brain cells healthy and stimulating new brain cell formation . It can be thought of as fertiliser for the brain. BDNF can offset the negative effects of stress on the brain. But cortisol halts the production of BDFN resulting in fewer new brain cells being formed.
4) Stress can deplete critical brain chemicals causing depression
Your brain cells communicate via chemicals called neurotransmitters. Chronic stress reduces levels of critical neurotransmitters, especially serotonin and dopamine. Low levels of either of these neurotransmitters can leave you depressed and more prone to addictions.
Serotonin it is called the happy molecule. It plays a large role in mood, learning and appetite. Women low in serotonin are prone to depression, anxiety and binge eating. Men, on the other hand, are more prone to alcoholism, ADHD, and impulse control disorders.
Dopamine is the motivation molecule. It is in charge of your pleasure-reward system. Too little dopamine can leave you unfocused, unmotivated, lethargic and depressed. People low in this brain chemical can often use caffeine, sugar, alcohol and illicit drugs to temporarily boost their dopamine levels.
Serotonin-based depression is accompanied by anxiety and irritability, while dopamine-based depression expresses itself as lethargy and lack of enjoyment in life.
5) Stress can make you feel stupid.
Stress can cause your brain to seize up at the worst possible times - exams, job interviews and public speaking come to mind.
This is actually a survival mechanism.
If you’re faced with a life-and-death situation, instinct and training overwhelm rational thought and reasoning. This might keep you from being eaten by a tiger, but in modern life this is rarely helpful.
Stress impairs your memory and makes you bad at making decisions.
It negatively impacts every cognitive function.
6) Chronic stress shrinks your brain.
Stress can measurably shrink your brain. Cortisol can kill, shrink and stop the generation of new neurones in the hippocampus, the part of your brain that stores memories.
The hippocampus is critical for learning, memory and emotional regulation, as well as shutting off the stress response after a stressful event is over.
Stress also shrinks the prefrontal cortex. This negatively affects decision making, working memory and control of impulsive behaviours.
On top of all that, chronic stress destroys your happiness and your peace of mind. It wears you down mentally and emotionally.
Some side effects of stress that impact your mental well-being include:
· excessive worry and fear
· anger and frustration
· impatience with self and others
· mood swings
· suicidal thoughts
· insomnia, nightmares and disturbing dreams
· trouble concentrating or learning new information
· racing thoughts
· nervousness
· forgetfulness and mental confusion
· difficulty in making decisions
· feeling overwhelmed
· irritability and overreaction to petty annoyances
· excessive defensiveness or suspicion
· increased smoking, alcohol, drug use, gambling or impulse buying.
It’s no fun experiencing the stress related symptoms. And it’s no picnic for those around us either.
Check out this little video for more info:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuyPuH9ojCE
So here are 6 Simple Steps To Help A Chronically Stressed Brain
Minimising stress and protecting your brain against its effects is easier than you might think.
Here are 6 simple steps to stop stress in its tracks and overcome its harmful effects on your brain.
1) Stop free radical damage by eating a diet high in antioxidant rich foods like fruit, vegetables, dark chocolate and green tea.
2) Increase levels of brain boosting BDNF by getting daily physical exercise. It doesn’t have to be strenuous. Walking is excellent. So are exercises with strong-mind body orientations like yoga, tai chi and qi gong.
3) Start a daily meditation or mindfulness practice. Meditation not only reduces stress, it is a proven way to keep your brain young by keeping telomeres long. Meditation is also the best tool for learning how to master your thoughts. Chronic stress does not come from events in your life as much as it comes from your thoughts – your automatic negative reactions and cognitive distortions – about these events.
4) Try one of the many mind–body relaxation techniques such as self-hypnosis, biofeedback or autogenic training.
5) Look into taking an adaptogenic herbal remedy. Adaptogens increase your resilience to stress while supporting overall health. They promote balance between feeling energetic and feeling calm. Examples of adaptogens include ginseng, holy basil, artic root and bacoba.
6) Get plenty of sleep. It is during sleep that the brain consolidates memories, repairs itself and grows new brain cells.
Chronic stress may seem to be an unavoidable part of life, but these proactive steps will definitely reduce its wear and tear on your brain.
Chronic stress takes a high toll on our mental health. It affects your brain structure and function in very real ways. It hastens brain ageing, depletes beneficial brain chemicals, enlarges your brain sphere centre and holds the production of new brain cells. It increases your risk of psychiatric and neurodegenerative diseases. And frustratingly it causes mental functioning to jam at the worst possible time, leaving you less able to cope with the stress of daily life. Fortunately, some lifestyle changes, managing your responses and increasing your resilience and mental toughness can help you stop the damaging effects of stress.
Want to know more techniques to manage your stress levels, and build your resilience and mental toughness, contact Michelle on 0412047590 or via email [email protected]
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing.
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Try This One Strategy To Better Manage Workplace Conflict.
Need to work out conflict between staff in your workplace?
Try VOMPING!
“Vomping” is a simple and effective tool for working out interpersonal conflicts, establishing understanding, and finding common ground. If you follow the steps, it can really work.
A good recommendation is to familiarise your entire group with this process even before conflicts arise. That way, when an issue does come up, every person in the group will have this tool to tackle it—“hey, can we VOMP about this?”—and others will know what they are talking about! No one has to be afraid to bring something up because they don’t know how to handle it. Everyone is equipped with these simple steps to follow.
VOMPing happens in four stages—Vent, Own, eMpathize, Plan. This process works best when two people step aside and communicate one-on-one in a private and respectful manner. Each person needs to recognize the process and agree to go through all the steps, alternating turns and listening actively, without interrupting one another.
1. Vent
First, both people “vent” about this issue. This is your opportunity to tell your side of the story completely uninterrupted, and get it all out there. Just make sure you use “I” statements, speaking only from the first person to describe your own personal experience. Be vigilant about not disrespecting your partner, and be honest. Use concrete examples, express your emotions, and get it all out there. One person goes first, then the other goes. While your partner is speaking, listen actively and do not interrupt them at all. Each person should have as long as they need to tell their story.
2. Own
Now, each person takes “ownership” of their words, actions, and attitudes and acknowledges their part in the story. Even when it seems like one person is totally “in the wrong” a conflict is never entirely one-sided. Be honest, and remember that both of you are motivated to clarify and resolve to problem.
This is a very exciting step in the process of conflict resolution because it allows each person to assume responsibility for their part in the conflict, and since both people are committed to taking responsibility, much of the fire of hostility is extinguished in this step. Ownership is a safe step because both people are committed to this process and to identifying their role in the conflict.
3. eMpathize
This is your chance to stand in the other person’s shoes, and see things from their perspective. When you do this, you are able to honestly internalize and recognize the other person’s experience and relate to their emotions and both the intended and unintended effects of your words and actions. Empathizing helps us grow in our understanding as people, and brings us closer together.
4. Plan
Now, suggest concrete actions and agreements that can be made to address the issue and solve the problem. Find the common ground here, and make an action plan. The plan doesn’t have to be set in stone, and can always be revised later. Plans are important so we can move forward and feel like we’ve really accomplished something through the process. Plans can also be referred back to as a mutual basis for accountability in the future.
Want to know more about successfully managing conflict? Contact Michelle on 0412047590 or via email [email protected]
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing.
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5 Opportunities to Create A Culture Of Wellbeing
I’m sure it is no surprise to many of us that it’s tough out there. Many of us are dealing with high levels of stress both personally and professionally. Many Australians are reporting that they are working long hours, have excessive workloads, not enough support in their workplace, feel insecure in their job and feel ill equipped to deal with change and challenges.
Statistics are indicating that at any given time, 20% of us are experiencing a mental health issue. Each year 1 in 5 of us take time off from the workplace due to issues with mental health and this figure is more than twice as high (46 per cent) if you're someone who considers your workplace mentally unhealthy.
Interestingly, a recent study showed that nearly half of leaders in the workplace don’t believe their workers are experiencing any mental health issues.
It does not appear to be rocket science to comprehend that both employers and employees benefit when a workplace prioritises mental health and wellbeing. To put it bluntly, people do their best work when they are in a positive frame of mind.
Creating a workplace culture where wellbeing is front of mind for both leaders and employees can be a dauting prospect. The phrase “this is the way we’ve always done it” can be a term heard a lot when it comes to workplace wellbeing.
But when workplaces start to work collaboratively to consider workplace tasks, teams, strengths and positive changes, great outcomes can occur.
One of the first questions to ask is WWW (What’s Working Well)? What is the organisation already doing which is creating great outcomes for staff? You can check in with an organisation and staff to assess how your workplace thinks and acts when it comes to wellbeing and mental health.
Then… what is the next step? An organisation does not necessarily have to make big changes to make a big impact.
A good first step is to recognise some of the issues that can impact wellbeing and mental health such as:
Working long hours for long periods of time
Heavy workloads
Unrealistic deadlines
Insufficient support
Unclear role definitions and measures of success
Lack of recognition at work
Toxic workplaces where bullying or discrimination is occurring.
Lack of personal wellbeing and resilience strategies.
Organisations need to keep in mind that there should be a focus on maximising wellbeing for all staff, not only those that are languishing or have poor mental health, but also keeping those staff who are already flourishing, consistently flourishing.
So, what are the opportunities for an organisation to maximise wellbeing?
1) Be flexible.
Setting up an environment where there is supportive leadership and where managers are active in managing workloads and pressures is an excellent first step. Flexibility in this is essential. Allowing people flexibility is great for personal wellbeing.
This could be working from home once every couple of weeks, or having flexible start and finish times to fit in other lifestyle needs and balance.
Helping people manage their workload is also about listening to employees and understanding common triggers for stress.
Leaders need to recognise there are ways they can manage. There are ways to assist people reduce stress: be cautious with heavy workloads, set realistic deadlines, manage uncertainty.
2) Create a (psychologically) safe culture
It is important for leaders to be aware of staff wellbeing all the time, not just when people are unwell.
This understanding is correlated to the quality of the relationship’s leaders have with their staff. This means checking in with staff and asking about and reviewing their wellbeing when they are well, not just when they are unwell.
Having an open channel of positive communication, treating people with respect, diversity and inclusion, having opportunities for team connectedness and for relationships, and celebrating wins and achievements all go into developing supportive and constructive workplace culture.
3) Prioritise support and communication daily
Creating a mentally healthy workplace requires more than a resilience training session here and there.
It's a long-term commitment that involves creating a space where employees feel continually safe and supported, and where mental health is openly spoken about.
If someone doesn't feel psychologically safe to come out and talk about their experiences, they're not going to.
An organisation can have all this great training, but unless employees feel safe and know that they won't be excluded, treated differently, or lose their job — they won't feel comfortable or capable of being open.
4) Focus on “wellness that works”
Regular catch-ups between leaders and staff, support and training programs, and return-to-work programs can all go a long way in ensuring mental health is a workplace priority.
It also creates a place where staff can feel safe and comfortable and supported.
An organisation can focus on a range of programs to support staff including:
Physical activity programs
Coaching and mentoring programs
Mental health education
Resilience and Mental Toughness training
Wellbeing checks
Encouraging employee involvement
However sometimes simply a great catch up between leaders and their staff conducted on a regular basis are just as advantageous.
5) Just listen
Sometimes just listening to the needs of your staff can be a major opportunity to maximise wellbeing.
This is not about what “perks” they need – free food, bean bags in the lunch room etc. This is about really listening to the concerns your staff are vocalising and work with them to derive proactive solutions to these issues.
Want to know more about developing a wellbeing strategy for your organisation? Contact Michelle on 0412047590 or via email [email protected]
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing.
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3 Ways You Can Practice Your Mental Gymnastics
I work with people to develop their Mental Toughness. It’s not always easy. It takes dedicated practice and effort. But it is so worth it.
You have a choice.
You can step out of your comfort zone and experience learning and growth.
But first, you have to move through the discomfort of your danger zone.
Mental Toughness is more than resilience alone. Individuals need not only to be able to bounce back after adversity strikes, they need to be able to be exposed to change and challenges and demonstrate their ability to thrive irrespective of the prevailing circumstances.
Mental Toughness can be broken down into the 4Cs of Control, Commitment, Challenge and Confidence.
So how can you practice your mental gymnastics and focus on some of the elements of these 4Cs?
1) Follow the 80/20 rule.
Heard of Pareto’s Principle or the 80/20 rule? We see this rule exist in so many different places. Originally The Pareto Principle referred to the observation that 80% of Italy’s wealth belonged to only 20% of the population. It can be applied to so may different situations. For example you might observe that a teacher spends 80% of their time with 20% of their students.
Recently, a leader I was coaching had a bit of an issue wrangling the idea of keeping her personal authenticty and developing her relationships with others and enhancing her interpersonal confidence. We worked on this model of the 80/20 rule. Why not consider your opportunity to stay 80% true to your authentic style and flex 20% of your style to recognise the needs of the person you are communicating with. You could then manage and enhance the relationship and build confidence in these interactions. You could flex this confidence muscle and practice your gymnastics every day when communicating.
2) Practice the PUSH
You may have heard of a gratitude diary – that is writing down three things you are grateful for in a diary at the end of the day. Well maybe you could add one more item to this diary entry. What has been your PUSH for the day?
What is the one thing you did that day that pushed you outside your comfort zone. It can be something small, like ordering a different type of coffee. Or it could be something big, like doing a presentation to your leadership team. But whether big or small, did you Push yourself, or challenge yourself in some way that day.
What if you practiced this every day so that you got better at pushing yourself out of your comfort zone so that when a challenge presented itself, you were not as worried to step into the danger zone.
3) If You Name It, You Can Tame It.
Often we are confused and upset and don’t have a clear understanding of why. But if we can name the emotion we are experiencing, we can tame it a whole lot better.
If you are not good with labelling your emotions, try a mood meter.
Just by asking whether the emotion has high or low energy and whether it is pleasant or unpleasant, you get a better understanding of what you are feeling.
• Recognise the emotion - “If you name it you can tame it”
• Understand the emotion – what generated it. What am I thinking that has lead to me generating this emotion
• Manage the emotion.
• Express the emotion – how can you do this in a productive way.
So go on, consider how you could practice your mental gymnastics every day to focus on the habits that could develop your Mental Toughness.
Want to know more about developing your Mental Toughness? Contact Michelle on 0412047590 or via email [email protected]
Michelle Bakjac is an experienced Psychologist, Organisational Consultant, Coach, Speaker and Facilitator. As Director of Bakjac Consulting, she is a credentialed Coach with the International Coach Federation (ICF) and a member of Mental Toughness Partners and an MTQ48 accredited Mental Toughness practitioner. Michelle assists individuals and organisations to develop their Mental Toughness to improve performance, leadership, behaviour and wellbeing.
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