#Mia got more attention cause I had no idea how I wanted to draw her
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I MIGHT BE COOKING SOMETHING but no promises any time soon.
This team of characters have literally been stewing in my brain inconsistently for the past 15 years, probably from when I first finished playing PMD Rescue Team Red.
#my art#pmd#pmd explorers#pmd rescue team#pmd oc#pmd ocs#pokemon#pokemon mystery dungeon#skitty#cyndaquil#kirlia#pokemon art#pmd ref#character ref#I've got comic scripts dating back to 2015#My first image of Bit and Mia was from 2009#Mia got more attention cause I had no idea how I wanted to draw her#don't ask me how a skitty is more difficult to draw than kirlia bleeeeh#artists on tumblr
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Donât give up just yet
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Word count: ~3.6k
Warnings: two curse word (I think), brief mentions of sex and cheating, angst (bare in mind these warnings donât apply the way you think they do, youâll have to read to understand)
Summary: The classic soulmate AU, sentences written on each otherâs wrists, but with a twist.
Authorâs note: This was basically an excuse for me to reinvent the soulmate AU with the wrist tattoos thing. Itâs sorta angsty, but I just thought the ending was too funny. Just experimenting here, tell me what you think.
PSA: Dividers are the count down till the day: black is reader focused, red is wanda focused, gold/yellow is also reader focused, but I thought it deserved a little spark.
âYou should call her, yâknow.â
âWhy would I do that? She made her point very clear.â
âItâs her wedding day, Y/N,â Mia reasoned, âand this fight was months ago, you have to get over it.â
You rolled your eyes at her insistence. This discussion has been happening every day for the past two weeks.
âI didnât do anything wrong, why am I the one who should get over it?â You emphasized.
âHe is her soulmate, and she is your sister, the least you could do is pretend.â
âUgh,â you let out a guttural scream, âI canât do this anymore Mia, I stand by what I said. That man is an asshole and this soulmate thing is stupid. I donât trust him, no matter what the words on both their wrists say, and Iâm not gonna watch her go down with this and not do anything about it.â
Mia didnât respond, she knew sheâd reached your last nerve. You watched as the woman left your office, sending a last sympathetic glance your way before walking into the hall.Â
Mia was right in some points, and you knew that. She was right about it being your sisterâs wedding day and that you should be there to support her. She was wrong about you needing to be the one to apologize though. The way people manipulated their lives to fit this whole twisted Soulmate Theory made your blood boil.
The Soulmate Theory was quite simple: everyone was born with a sentence written on their wrists, popular belief is that those are the first words your soulmate will say to you. It was cute, and it worked most of the time, not for your sister though. Or at least you thought so.
Oli's soulmate was Isaac. They had met three years ago and eventually started dating. Oli was a firm believer of the Soulmate Theory and had never dated anyone before, so it was all new and exciting.
You started noticing the patterns roughly one year after they started dating. He was controlling her, discreetly, barely noticeable, but it was there.Â
First with clothes, Oli had made it a habit to always ask for his opinions on her clothing, and he would tell her he hated something, regardless of her telling him over and over again she had liked it. You made little comments here and there about his actions, mostly jokes but with some truth behind, she didnât notice.
Second was friends, Isaac would always want to meet Oliâs friends, and if she went out with one he didnât know he would make her feel guilty. You started giving more serious warnings, pointing out what he was doing more clearly, she didnât care and called you crazy.
Third was her feelings, he had his mind set on what her role should be in his life. He praised Oli endlessly when she cooked or cleaned. Other than that, he didnât care, didnât pay attention to her stories, didnât appreciate her paintings and drawingsâŠÂ
It got to the point where she wouldnât want to paint anymore, when she was telling a story it would be without her usual excitement. Her smile no longer reached her eyes, she was constantly tired.Â
You confronted her about it, several times, but it was of no use. Youâd point out the facts and sheâd retort with âhe is my soulmate, the universe bound us together, he wouldnât do this to me!â
Three months ago was the last time you two talked. She told you he asked her hand. She knew you would be against it, she tried to ease you into the idea of her being with Isaac for the rest of her life. You werenât having any of it.Â
After hours of screaming, arguing and loads of tears, she told you not to come to the wedding, and you said you wouldnât.Â
Itâs now four days from the date and youâre not going as long as heâs the one sheâs marrying.
You stared at the words on your own wrist. âItâs youâ. That sentence haunted you for years. What a stupid set of words for your soulmate to say.
As a kid you adored the Soulmate Theory, you paid meticulous attention to the first words youâd exchange with anyone, you made new friends nearly every day in hopes of hearing those words, but they never came.
Until they came. At first it was exhilarating, but the ones you said didnât match the ones on the personâs wrist. You were extremely disappointed. And then you heard them again, and again, and again⊠It became almost routine. Every single person you met would say âitâs youâ or some variation of it.Â
You being who you are certainly didnât help. During college you had started a tech company and now it had grown to be one of the biggest and most important in the field. The new inventions did win you several prizes and a lot of money. You were also stupid famous, being the young brilliant CEO and all.Â
Ever since, you gave up on looking for your soulmate. It seemed counter productive to get yourself all worked up just for it not to happen every single day. You made your peace with it, although a small part of you just wanted to meet said person.
The situation with Isaac and Oli helped. Seeing that it could end up hurting you made it easier to not fixate on finding your soulmate. Nonetheless, the desire was there; hidden, pushed to the back of your mind, but still there.
You just wished your sister could see it too, that the Soulmate Theory is not the solution to all her problems.Â
âRelax Steve, itâs all taken care of.âÂ
âWhat about the flowers? Did you book the buffet? Did you check with the band? And the decorations? I saw some people didnât RSVP yet, should I redo the seating charts?â Steve rambled on as Wanda just laughed.
âThe flower problem is solved, the buffet confirmed, so did the band, the wedding planner is working on the decorations and redoing the whole seating chart seems⊠unnecessary, they still have three days to confirm their presence.â She reassured the man who was more stressed than her about the whole situation.
âOkay, sorry, I just want to make sure everything is perfect.â He huffed, taking a seat on the couch.Â
âItâs going to be perfect, donât worry.â She couldnât help the weirdness that surged upon uttering those words.
âHow are you so calm?â Wanda just shrugged, not really sure how to answer.Â
Steve took a deep breath and gazed at the red head, offering her a smile.Â
âIâm going to sleep, all this wedding stuff has been stressing me all day.âÂ
âOkay,â Steve made his way to his bedroom but she called him before he reached the hallway, âthanks for the help Rogers.âÂ
âNo worries.â He shot a last smile before disappearing.Â
Wanda found herself alone in the living room, the silence only making her thoughts scream louder.
She would be married in three days. It seemed unbelievable. After losing her parents, being experimented on at Hydra, fighting along Ultron, losing her brother and becoming an Avenger, she never thought she would have time to fall in love.
Yet, here she is. Although the feeling wasnât quite what she thought it would be. It wasnât exciting, or nerve racking. She felt no different than any other day of her life. Steve seemed like the one who was getting married, not her.Â
Vision is sweet and caring, she feels so happy around him. Then what is causing all these doubts to haunt her?
She knows what it is, she just doesnât want to admit it.
Those words. Those stupid words painted forever on her wrist. âDonât do thisâ. Ever since joining the Avengers she started using several bracelets to hide them, but they still burned on her skin every single day.
Sheâd heard of the Soulmate Theory at a very young age. Her parents had explained how those were the first words sheâd hear from the love of her life. She would spend hours daydreaming all sorts of scenarios in which someone would say those words to her and theyâd fall in love.
After her parentâs death, that stopped being her priority. At the Hydra base sheâd only see her brother and a couple dozen different Hydra soldiers, too old and mean for a soulmate.Â
Gaining powers was a game changer. She was older then. Stronger. They finally allowed her and Pietro to leave the base and create chaos in Hydraâs name. âDo goodâ in Hydraâs name. She believed she was doing the right thing. She truly did.Â
Hearing her first âDonât do thisâ made her question everything. It came from a little kid nonetheless. A scared little kid. It mustâve been a mistake, she thought at the time. But that mistake happened, again, and again, and againâŠÂ
When she joined the Avengers her eyes were opened to all the pain and terror she had caused. All the people she hurt. Then it dawned on her, what if one of those âDonât do thisâ came from her soulmate? What if she had hurt them, or worse, killed them?
The idea terrified her. So she hid those words on her wrist. A reminder of the evil sheâs done and the love sheâll never have. She promised herself to never look for her soulmate, she already caused them enough pain, they didnât deserve to get tangled in the mess that was her life.
And then Vision was created. Him and Wanda got along greatly. He made her happy. They fell in love, or at least thatâs what Wanda told herself, that she fell in love with him. It was possible, thereâs no rule on the Soulmate Theory that says you can only fall in love with your soulmate. Plus, Vision is not human, so he doesnât have words written on his wrist, he doesnât have a predestined soulmate, technically he doesnât even have an actual soul for this sort of thing. They could be each otherâs soulmate. A loophole on this stupid theory.
Why didnât it feel like that though? Why was she questioning it so much? And why now? Three days before her wedding?
She took off the bracelets and stared at the ink, brushing her fingers lightly over it. She loved Vision, she affirmed to herself. She wants to marry him. This is what she wants. And she believes in these words, for a while. Long enough for her to fall asleep, turning off her brain from overthinking the situation too much.
Work has had you occupied all week. With back to back meetings and loads of paperwork to fill out, youâve barely had time to think of anything else.
But now it seems like everything is done and you have more free time than youâd like.Â
You left the office early, not having much to do there anymore, and, instead of spending all afternoon home alone, you decided to go out for some coffee.
You were sitting on your usual table in the small coffee shop close to your place. It was calm, quiet and homely, a nice contrast between the places you frequent. The warm cup on your hands did nothing to distract you though.
The book youâd brought was long forgotten on the table as you glanced at your phone every few seconds. Itâs two days till the wedding and, even though you tried not to think about it, you hoped your sister would text you saying she broke it off. It was unlikely, but wishing she could get some sense knocked into her wouldnât kill.
You were so focused on your thoughts that you didnât notice a woman glancing at you until you caught her trying to call your attention.
âItâs you!â She said, astonished, pointing to the cover of a magazine showing a picture of you.
Recognizing that issue as being a rather old one, you just nodded and offered the woman a friendly smile. She took that as an opportunity to approach you.
âHi. Sorry,â she sounded excited and also nervous for bothering you, âI just wanted to say what an inspiration you are to women all around, to me especially. Iâve been opening my own business and seeing what you do has been such an encouragement to me. So, thank you!âÂ
You were surprised by how nice she was. Youâd expected her to ask you to invest in her business or something, like everyone who approaches you does, but she didnât and it was a nice change of pace for once.
âWhat kind of business are you opening?â You asked. Listen to her talk would be a good distraction, plus, you could use the company.
âOh, no, thatâs ok,â she said, âI donât want to bother you any further.â
âPlease,â you urged, âI have the rest of my day off and I could use someone to talk to. Unless youâre busy, then I wouldnât want to be a burden to you.â You laughed to ease the womanâs nerves.
âSure?â You nodded and gestured to the empty seat across from you.Â
She accepted it and you spent at least an hour talking before she had to leave. It was a pleasant conversation, she praised your work but didnât refrain from giving some interesting criticism on your business. The topic of an investment or a partnership never even came up.Â
It got your sister out of your mind for a while, although it didnât last long.
Laying on your bed, your eyes fought to stay open, your mind swirling with all possible scenarios regarding Oli. She would be miserable if she went through with this, and you couldnât do anything about it.
You love your sister, you care so much about her, but she refuses to listen to your warnings. You could swallow your pride and go to the wedding. You could try and support her. But that would just make an accomplice to her stupidity and youâre not going to just stand there and pretend that thatâs ok.
You thought about texting her, way too many times. But your relationship is already rocky as it is, the least you could do is hope she gets some clarity on her own.
One day till the wedding. Sheâs 24 hours away from the happiest day of her life. Why is it, then, that Wanda doesnât feel as happy as she should be.Â
She didnât have to fake a smile, she was happy, but that smile didnât quite reach her eyes.Â
None of the others seemed to notice it. They just thought it was the nervousness of having everything set so the day could run smoothly. Vision even brought up the possibility of her having cold feet about it, but she denied it thoroughly, assuring him she wanted this.
And she does. She wants to get married, have kids and build up a family of her own. She wants it all.Â
It still seemed weird though. Like something was off.Â
âSteve just called,â Nat interrupted her thoughts, walking back into the room, âeverything is set, prepped and organized for tomorrow.â
âLetâs try on the dress then.â Carol urged the girl to put on the piece of clothing for the millionth time.
It did her justice. Slim at the top and flowy at the bottom, accentuating all her curves perfectly. It wasnât big and puffy but light and delicate. She smiled at her own reflection as the other women crammed around her to take a look.
âYou look beautiful.â Pepper said in awe.Â
âShe does, doesnât she.â Laura agreed, even though sheâs the one that helped her choose it.
Wanda didnât say anything, just smiling and appreciating her own image, excitement growing on her chest from wearing it in front of everyone the next day.
The girls spent hours planning how they would do her hair and makeup. There were so many ideas, disagreements and arguments that Wanda was completely drained by the end of the day. She was happy though, to see her friends being there for her, eager to help and make sure everything was perfect.
It was nice to have people around since she lost so much throughout the years.
After the women were gone and she found herself alone, Wandaâs thoughts from the beginning of the day came back, hitting her like a train.
Was she really more excited about wearing a dress than about getting married? Was this a sign of her actually getting cold feet?Â
She shrugged them away, affirming to herself these are just stupid uncertanties people always get before their wedding day. At least thatâs what happens in movies, so nothing to worry about... right?
Thankfully your work slump had subsided as now a gigantic pile of papers sat on your table. Some contracts had to be restructured and a set of stores had to be chosen to distribute your newest technology.Â
You thrived in that scenario, with countless reports and 2D drawings of the prototypes scattered about the room. Your mind was going a thousand miles a minute, seemingly unaware of the events that would take place later that day.
That peace, however, was short lived. Your brain short circuited for a second when you checked what had caused your phone to buzz.
Two voicemails.Â
From none other than Isaac.Â
It was right then that it dawned on you: Oli was marrying that asshole today. In only a couple of hours actually.
Before listening to the messages you started to record your phone screen, maybe he would try to threaten you or something and you could use that to convince Oli to break things off with him. It wouldnât kill to be precautious.
The first one was sweet, although it almost made you gag, it was sent with good intentions. Isaac was asking you to go easy on Oli, regardless of your feelings towards him, you should be supportive of her and her decisions. Too pretentious for your liking, but sent with good intentions nonetheless.
The second one started awfully weird. Some muffled sounds, things you couldnât quite make out. Until you heard a loud moan, your eyes going wide as you pushed your phone away from your face. Isnât it technically âbad luckâ to see the bride on the wedding day? You didnât have time to dwell on those thoughts as the voice on the phone started to moan each otherâs names. The woman didnât sound anything like Oli, because it wasnât Oli. Isaac was cheating on your sister? And on their wedding day!?
Oh you werenât about to just let that go. You stopped the recording, thanking your intuition, and quickly ringed Oli.
It rang once⊠twice⊠three times⊠and then voicemail. You tried at least four more times until you figured she just didnât want to talk to you.
âMarie can you come in here please?â You called your secretary.
A few seconds later she popped her head inside your office.
âHow can I help?â
âCan I use your phone!?â You sounded more exasperated than you wished.
âAre you sure itâs a good idea to call your sister today?â Damn, that woman knows you too well. You sighed loudly.
âPlease⊠I justâŠâ You trailed off, sounding desperate this time around.
Thankfully Marie gave in and lent you her phone. You typed Oliâs number and rang it, several times, she didnât pick up once. You were starting to get truly desperate now.
âDo you have the address?â You handed Marie her phone back.
âHere.â She handed you a piece of paper from her pocket.Â
It was on the other side of the city, at least a one hour drive. You quickly grabbed your coat, purse and phone, rushing out of the office, only being stopped by a hand wrapping around your wrist.
âDonât do anything stupid.â You gave her a reassuring smile and a quick nod before making your way to your car. Marie has been working with you since the beginning, she always knew when you were up to nothing good. She also knew that when you set your mind to something, there was no stopping you.
The drive was excruciating. You kept making stupid mistakes and taking wrong turns. Everything seemed to work against you, being it: accidents, red lights, slow drivers, pedestrians. Even the birds chirping around were pissing you off.
You finally reached the venue and stopped the car messily in the front entrance. You quickly ran up the stairs, and almost tripped and fell when you heard the officiant was already performing the ceremony.
You reached the doors and yanked them open, hopefully interrupting the wedding before it was too late.
âDonât do this!â You screamed at the top of your lungs, nearly breathless.Â
The guests all turned towards you, surprised. So did the couple on the podium.
Except those people werenât Oli and Isaac. You recognized them, Vision and Scarlet Witch, or at least thatâs the names they went for on television. Youâve seen them before, doing business with Stark had its perks, but had never been introduced.
You couldâve felt bad, but your stomach was a turmoil of faith and nausea. You were either really early or really late to stop Oli.
âSorry,â you said, trying to catch your breath, âwrong wedding, carry on.â You turned around to leave, but not before noticing the bride glancing at her own wrist.
You didnât get the chance to take a single step out the door before her voice filled the silence that had settled.
âItâs you.â You stopped dead on your tracks. Your wrist burning slightly, not the kind of pain to cause discomfort, just enough to be noticeable.
Those words.Â
Her looking at her wrist.
Yourâs burning now.
You turned back around, earning all kinds of confused glances from the guests. Your eyes fell on the woman, a smirk plastered on your lips.
âSeems like this isnât the wrong wedding after all.â
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff#wanda x reader#mcu#marvel#reader insert#wanda maximoff imagine#soulmate au
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highschool rivals, part one. eli moskowitz x reader
summary đŁ: in which reader believes hawk is fucking with her when saying he does karate, but he wonât prove otherwise, no matter how much she begs.
warning/s đ«: swearing, UNEDITED, MAJOR CRINGE
slaterâs note đŻ: au where robby and miguel and hawk are all friends. this is kind of a crack fic because reader really just wants to get punched in the face and it doesnât make sense
part one, part two
hawk is a pussy.
thatâs all you could think as you walked down the west valley high school halls, searching.
for what? hawk.
where? you didnât know.
you didnât even go to the high school but rather the private one on the richer side of LA, east high private school for exceptional girls. you had your school uniform still on, the blue plaid skirt they made you wear swished around your waist as you marched down the blue tiled halls.
the idea of finding hawk seemed to be a lot easier in your head then when it was put into motion, it was like you had completely dismissed the fact that you had never been in west valley high, and you had only met this boy two weeks ago.
you had been parked up on the north carige hills, looking over the city lights with your friends when a silver beamer with tinted windows pulled up and parked right next to you, three boys and their siloettes inhabiting the inside of the new looking car.
it wasnât long till they rolled down the passenger side window causing a chain reaction of you and your friend who sat in the backseat to do the same.
it revealed a teenaged boy with spiky red hair and a loud looking smirk on his face, an angry red scar that resembled lightning struck up the tip of his top lip.
âhowâre we doing this evening, ladies?â
âoh dear god,â your friend harper mumbled under her breath from the passenger seat, the only one without her window down.
you chuckled lightly, glancing at the already annoyed brunette, before drawing your attention back to the boy and his friends.
âfine,â you nodded in a more upbeat tone then your friend, âand you?â
âgood,â he nodded his head before looking between his friends, âsay, you up for some car hoping?â
the answer was obviously yes and as soon as it was offered, mia, your other friend, practically hoped out of the backseat and into their own.
âdepends,â harper shouted over your shoulder before anyone made a move, âhow much weed do you got in that nice car of yours?â
he rolled his eyes, looking back to the boy in the drivers seat, a boy with tan skin and hair gelled up like all teen boys. he was smiling, and then shrugged when the boy with the mohawk looked to him.
âjust get in.â
the night felt like a fever dream. immediately after your exited your own car, locking the door, you were shoved into the lap of the mohawk boy, not literally but it all felt quick enough to be a shove in the situation.
there had seemed to be no space in the back, another boy and your two friends already seated and buckled.
harper smiled up at you innocently after rolling down the window, âoh no, whatever will we do?â
âyou can sit on my lap, princess.â
you rolled your eyes, thinking about if you had never gotten into that car or sat on mohawk boys lap, you wouldnât be in the stupid situation you were in now. and it wasnât really a situation, but more of a problem.
the sound of your ringtone echoed from the inside of your skirt pocket, you grasped the rectangle shaped devise before sighing, seeing the contact name âmiaâ.
âhello?â
âare you actually here?â
you exhaled while pinching the bridge of your nose, âyes.â
âno way, y/n, youâre fucking crazy.â
mia went to west valley high unlike you and harper, she was considered âthe public school trashâ of your friend group, a long going joke ever since freshman year for the three of you.
she had never met hawk or miguel or robby, the boys you had acquainted in the silver beamer. which wouldnât make sense until you actually got to meet her and how antisocial she was until she was around you and harper.
she was ditsy, clumsy, but could never put herself in very confrontational situations unless you or harper were there.
âheâs a pussy, mia.â
âso you just showed up?â she cried as you nodded even though she couldnât see you, her own head shaking back and forth in disbelief at how impulsive you could be with your decisions, âand now youâre going to kick his ass... just because he wouldnât kick yours?â
âcâmon mia, there is no way this boy actually knows karate, and if he did, why wouldnât he at least try me?â
ây/n, youâre crazy!â she yelled in your ear but then itâs real silent causing you to frown, narrowing your brows.
âmia, heâs a pussy.â
ây/n, youâre crazy,â she repeated, but this time in a whisper, âand youâre also a female... who he made out with.â
your cheeks redden and you pressed your phone closer to the side of your face out of consciousness. it made you roll your eyes at how easily self conscious and embarrassed you got just at the thought of him and his body pressed against yours.
âfemale, mia, female. itâs 2021, how sexist could he be?â you said after a long pause, completely skipping over the part of âwho he made out withâ.
âwhere are you-â the sound of the bell made her stop mid sentence, her eyes tracing the clock, âwait, y/n, wait for me before you make anymore crazy decisions.â
you rolled your eyes, hanging up the phone without any hesitation.
people begun to fill the hallway, squishing you tighter and tighter until you felt like you were in an impact box.
and even in that tight impact box, you could make out hawkâs stupid red mohawk bouncing through the air as he walked the opposite way you did, completely oblivious to the path he was about to cross, and the large storm heading his way.
you grabbed onto his arm, yanking him into the flow of your river, surprising him as well as miguel, who was previously by hawkâs side... until he wasnât. his head stuck out from the opposite side of the hall, shock and confusion written in his face as he kept walking, there would be no stopping in a high school hallway.
âwhat the fuck man- y/n?â he looked like he was about to swing and you almost wished he did, but he recognized you way too fast, âwhatâre you doing here, princess?â
âdonât âprincessâ me,â you taunted, âpunch me in the face.â
âwhat?â
âpunch me in the face.â
ây/n, weâve been over this,â he rolled his eyes, not even bothering to look at you, now knowing how ridiculous the conversation you were about to have would be.
âyeah a week ago,â you said, falling into step with him, and he looks over to you with a look of unbelievability, scoffing before looking away from you again.
âwhat?â
âyouâre fucking crazy.â
âyouâre the one lying about doing karate,â you say, looking up to him causing him to scoff again.
âwhy would i lie about that?â
âyou tell me mohawk boy.â
âshut up, iâm not punching you in the face.â
âwho even does karate anymore anyways?â you mumbled more to yourself then him as the two of you continued to hustle down the hallway.
âshut up, babe,â he mumble right back, âyouâre just mad i wonât touch you.â
âshut up, you couldnât get enough of me last week,â you shot back, almost wanting to look at him and glare, but you kept looking forward, keeping your composure.
âplease, you were the one-â
ây/n!â
before hawk could finish his sentence, mia appeared from around the corner, her hands out lifted in the air as if to question why you were actually standing five feet away from her.
you rolled your eyes while hawk raised his brows in question.
âyouâre actually crazy!â
âthatâs what iâm saying.â
ây/n, i thought i saw your face,â miguel rounded the corner out of no where, his hands stuffed in his pockets while a small smile was printed on his face.
you look to all three of the teenagers that stood before you, your mind whirling around as you tried to comprehend the words that came spitting from their mouths.
âslow down,â you raised your both your hands, giving each of them pointed looks, âone, iâm not crazy, two, youâre the one crazy because youâre most definitely lying about doing karate, and three,â your face softened as you turned to miguel, giving him a smile, âhi miguel.â
he smiled back before laughing, his chest vibrating up and down, looking to hawk, âyeah, hawk, why you gotta lie like that?â
âshut up.â
âjust punch me in the face.â
âno,â he practically yelled, glaring at you, âshut up.â
âwhy not?â
âbecause itâs the stupidest thing iâve ever heard and if you donât want to believe me, you donât have to,â he rolled his eyes, waving you off, starting to walk down the hall again, only this time with miguel.Â
you could tell that he was increasingly getting annoyed, which could only be good for you. maybe heâd finally cave.Â
âso, are we hanging out this weekend?â miguel called back to you and mia, trying to break the awkward silence that settled over all four of you once you guys existed the high school and out into the parking lot.Â
âi donât know, i might be busy,â you lied, and they all rolled their eyes to the obvious snark in the back of your throat, key to your lying.
âcâmon princess,â hawk began to mumble, âwe all know you have no other friends.â
âshut up,â you stopped along with mia for you had reached her car, âat least i donât lie about doing karate.â
miguel laughed to himself, leaning against a neighboring car as hawk looked at you with annoyance, shaking his head.
âbye, guys,â miguel nodded off to you and mia as he began to walk to his car, cuing hawk to walk with him, no longer feeling like entertaining a conversation about lies and karate and all the teasing that flew out of your mouth.
you waved goodbye, your lips pursed as you watch the red dyed hair boy walk off, your mind swirling at all the stupid things you had said in the past ten minutes.
âoh one more thing,â you watched hawk stopped short, turning back around and jogging back to you and then closer and closer then before, his mouth touching the crest of your ear, âyou look really hot in your school uniform.â
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#jacob bertrand#jacob bertrand x reader#jacob bertrand imagine#eli moskowitz imagine#eli moskowitz x reader#eli moskowitz#hawk#hawk x reader#hawk imagine#hawk cobra kai#cobra kai#cobra kai x reader#tanner buchanan#tanner buchanan imagine#tanner buchanan x reader#cobra kai imagine#johnny lawrence#karate kid#xolo maridueña#robby keene x tory nichols#robby keene imagine#robby keene x reader#robby keene#miguel diaz imagine#miguel diaz x reader#miguel diaz
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Stars Align
pairing: harry styles x y/n
warnings: fluff, ig you could consider it angst but its really just mysterious
word count: 2k
hello! i apologize for kind of disappearing, my fic rec account has kind of blown up and ive been super busy with that.
this is my entry for @sweetlygolden 's Harry On Holiday Challenge! i chose strangers in the same city, and the line prompt âThat is the worst sunburn Iâve ever seen.â i honestly already have a part 2 planned out but we'll see how it goes!
âHow much longer are you going to stare at that pretending like itâs interesting.â
Her soft voice surprised him, and he whipped his head around to see who had been speaking to him.
For the first time in a while, Harry was able to get away for a little. Of course, he travels a lot for work, but this was the first vacation since he can remember where he was alone, doing whatever he pleases. He chose Italy for this special occasion, because itâs always been one of his favorite places, and he missed the freedom of wandering around the boot shaped country without a care in the world.
The day's adventures had brought him to La Galleria Nazionale dâArte Moderna e Contemporanea, which is a museum that he's been wanting to see for quite some time. He started the day off by getting a cappuccino and a crespelle from a wonderful little cafe down the street from his hotel.
Right afterwards he walked to the museum, taking in the sights around him on the 20 minute trek to his destination. Before the woman behind him snatched his attention, he was staring at a painting of an abstract house. The house was only painted in blue, and the artist had used the different shades and tones of the color to create the details in the painting.
He had been staring at it for a good amount of time, which he assumed is what prompted the stranger to talk to him.
Itâs his 3rd day on the trip, leaving him 4 more until he has to be back in L.A. for work. He has no plans, no schedules, no job to do. Itâs just him and the world. At least, thatâs what he assumed it would be. The vacation is supposed to be a solo one, however, heâs currently staring at a stranger that decided to speak to him. And for some reason, he is drawn to her. Compelled to spend time with her after just a simple sentence was spoken between the two of them.
When he fully turns around she jumped, a bit startled by his bright red complexion. âThat is the worst sunburn I have ever seen!â
It was true, Harry had managed to get himself a nasty burn on the first day in Italy. He usually tans instead of getting a sunburn, but when youâre used to the dreary weather of the UK, it can be hard to forget how strong the sun is in other places.
So he had laid out on the beach and fell asleep, waking up a few hours later with tomato red skin and a burning sensation covering the exposed skin.
âThatâs what happens when yâfall asleep on a beach in Rome,â he chuckled, smiling awkwardly at the woman before him.
Sheâs beautiful, there is absolutely no denying that. She was wearing a simple spaghetti-strap black dress that cut off right at the knee. There were no designs, no embellishments, just a black dress that hugged her figure perfectly. Her lips have a deep red lipstick smeared across them, and he couldnât help but notice how the color complimented her skin tone. Her simple black pumps completed the outfit, and her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, with a few of the front strands falling out of the hair tie and framing her face.
âIâd assume so.â Her demeanor is serious, even though there's a smile on her face. SheâsâŠ..intimidating?
Harry hasnât been intimidated by anything since he was a teenager. Once you perform in front of thousands of screaming people, who also happen to idolize you, things donât tend to phase a person anymore.
But for some reason, her presence caused butterflies to fly around in his stomach, a feeling he hasnât felt in a long time. He actually enjoyed the feeling, it reminded him of when everything was normal.
What also reminded him of normality was the fact that she seems to not have the slightest clue of who he is. If she does, sheâs sure as hell good at hiding it.
âYouâve been looking at the same painting for 10 minutes, just wanted to make sure you hadnât fallen asleep.â A small laugh escaped her lips, and the noise agitated the fluttering butterflies residing in his tummy. Her voice is mesmerizing, and she sounds like what Harry imagines an angel to sound like. She has an American accent, and it eased his nerves slightly that she was also a tourist.
He turned back to the painting to look at it, but it was also convenient in that she wouldnât be able to see his undoubtedly flushed cheeks.
âYeah mânot sure what it is âbout it but thereâs somethinâ special with this one.â
âThatâs Prismi lunari by Fortunato Depero, he was very talented.â Harry spun around once again to face her, shocked at her knowledge of the random artwork.
âYou know that off of the top of your head?â He tilts his head and looks at her, furrowing his brows in confusion. Heâs pretty sure there was no label for the painting, and if there was it was way too small for her to see from where sheâs standing.
âI know a lot of things.â
The statement was simple, but Harry wondered if her words paired with the smirk on her face are code for something else. âHow long have you been here?â Her question snapped him out of his thoughts, and he looked up at her and smiled. He flicks his wrist and directs his attention to it, reading the Gucci watch adorning his wrist.
âWell I got here at 11, so about 5 hours.â It honestly surprised him when he realized it was 4 oâclock, but he knows how wrapped up he gets in artwork so he must have lost track of time.
âJesus christ! I can barely stand to walk around a museum for an hour!â She blows out a puff of air, mocking being out of breath. They both laugh at her comment, Harry laughing a bit harder than her. âWhatâs your name?â
âOh! MâHarry, sânice to meet you.â He stuck out his ring-clad hand, and her delicate fingers wrapped around his as she shook it.
âWell Harry, wanna get out of here and walk around with someone who knows the city?â She points at herself, and the small smile she gave him earlier transformed into a silly grin.
âWell mânot sure how well an American can know the city, but Iâll bite.â Usually he would never do this. Going off with strangers is never a good idea, especially because of his status. But thereâs something about the girl that makes Harry feel safe. They had just met yet he feels like he could trust her with things he hasnât even told his best friends.
âAn American whoâs been living here for a year, that is.â His eyebrows raise slightly, intrigued by her new admission. But before he can even open his mouth to speak, she grabs his wrist with her daintily manicured hand and whisks him out of the quiet museum.
The air was humid, quickly drawing beads of sweat from his forehead. Heâs also quite baffled at how she was completely unphased. Not a single drop of sweat was dripping on her body, her soft skin untouched like an old porcelain doll, preserved for years in perfect condition.
âIâll show you around a little, we can go to this wonderful little vintage store I know.â She had turned to face him, her hand moving from his wrist to cup his one hand in both of hers. âUm- at least, if you want to.â For the first time, she was nervous. Although she will never admit it, Harry makes her extremely nervous. Extremely.
When he turned around when they first met, her jump of surprise wasnât just because of his bright sunburn. In fact, it wasnât about that at all. It was about how fucking attractive he is. He really looks like one of the statues that was put up in the museum. His sparkling green eyes send a shiver down her spine, and the tattoos peaking through his thin white t-shirt cause a fire to build in her stomach.
Having someone to talk too while he traversed the streets of Rome is a lot more enjoyable than Harry had anticipated. He purposefully told all of his friends that he was going to be MIA while on this trip. But the fact that she is a stranger changes it in some way, in a good way.
The cobblestone streets are surprisingly smooth, and they walk next to each other in a comfortable silence for a long amount of time. The silence would only break when she would point out something in their field of vision. At one point, Harry pauses, standing still in the middle of the street with a thinking look on his face. He realizes that he doesnât know her name, which seems ridiculous to him because they were walking around a foreign country like the best of friends. She turns to him, matching his confused look when they lock eyes. âI just realized I donât know yâname.â
Instead of reacting like he would expect one to react when asked that question, her pupils dilated and for some reason she appears to be scared. Why would someone be scared when you ask for their name?
âMaybe she thinks her name is embarrassingâ Harry thought, still looking at her with a confused look, but now it was laced with a bit of suspicion.
He watches her sigh, and her hand went up to her ponytail and pulled the black elastic out, her soft hair cascading down her shoulders. With another sigh she said, âY/N. My names Y/N.â
âThatâs a really beautiful name.â
âOh! Thereâs the store!â
He found it odd that she was so eager to switch the subject, but goes along with it nonetheless.
The vintage store is lovely, and Harry was able to find a beautiful ring and necklace set, matching gold roses on both of them. They looked around the shop for about 15 minutes, Harry being the only one to make a purchase.
The sun had set by the time they went outside, which isnât surprising considering that it was almost dark when they walked into the little shop. They stood, facing each other outside of this small little shop in Rome. Two strangers, who just happened to cross each other's path. Harry knows this wonât last forever, and he also knows that he wants to see her again. In a leap of faith, he pulls the gold necklace out of the small brown bag and looks up at her.
âHere, I got them so we could match.â It was bold, but Harry feels connected to this girl, and he doesnât know it, but she feels the exact same. The smile she gave him when he handed her the necklace was bright and genuine, the creases next to her eyes proving its authenticity. He motioned for her to turn around, wrapping the necklace around her neck and clasping it while she held up her hair.
âThank you Harry. This is the best day Iâve had in a while.â
âLikewise.â
âI hate to do this, but I have to go. Have a wonderful rest of your trip Harry.â
It was then that she placed a small, tender peck on his lips, barely lingering for a second before pulling away.
âWait! Can I get yânumber?â Her smile slanted into a smirk, and she pulled a small card and a pen out of her small black clutch. She placed the card up against the brick wall, leaning it against it and scribbling something down on the paper. When she finished writing, she pressed her lips against the card, handing it to Harry.
He looked down at it, expecting to see a series of numbers, but he was met with a simple note, scribbled on the piece of cardstock next to the red lip print she had left.
May the stars align in our favor once again. - Y/N
He looked up frantically, planning to ask her to write her number down as well, but he was met with nothing.
She had disappeared into the night, leaving as quickly as she appeared earlier that day.
#HarryOnHoliday#harry styles#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fic rec#harry styles fic#harry styles writing#harry styles one shot
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chronicles of a parisian dumbass 19
iâm sorry iâve been MIA ; ; iâve been up to my ears in streaming and also returning to work in-person. either way, i hope you enjoy this update of chronicles. better late than never right?
strap in đđ
If Luka could get at his phone, he wouldnât know what to type. maybe a vague, oh, fuck. Maybe some long thread about how cryptic conversation starters only ever scared him and ended both of his relationshipsâonly to follow up with silence in the face of a couple of likes, or a reply from a sort-of-stranger that would debilitate him, remind him of his own vulnerability, more than it would reassure him. Hell, maybe even a message to Bubbles about how he was right all along that heâd need the luck. Or how Bubbles was right about how he really was in for it the moment he stepped into the bakery.
Itâs just that, with the way Marinette Dupain-Cheng is looking at him on her balconyâall sad, scared softnessâhe gets the feeling that heâs not meant to repeat whatever she tells him.
Luka steels himself, loosens his death grip on the neck of the guitar, and releases a breath he doesnât want to hold onto anymore. âYeah,â he says. âAnything.â It comes out choked from how tight his vocal cords are. The way they get sometimes when he plugs in the microphone and hits RECORD.
She pats the floor in front of her and mumbles something about being on equal ground, and he slides down to meet her, guitar in tow. She looks like she wants to touch it, feel now real it is. Or how real he is. As though that moment with his card wasnât enough.
âItâs about your sister,â she says, her gaze darting away in shame. âAnd Adrien. Sort of.â
âOkay,â he says. Itâs slow, and uncertain, but he hopes it tells her heâs all ears.
Marinette looks at her lap and draws herself up and in. Like sheâs wanted to tell him this for a long time. Like sheâs only just found the words for it. âWe were pretty close,â she says. âIn grade school. Not as close as⊠Rose, yeah, Rose. But we were in the same class for a couple years. I helped her with some class picture stuff, she listened to me yammer on about Adrien after he joined our class⊠even helped me come up with some ideas on how to⊠confess to him? Win him over? I donât know.â She rubs the back of her neck. âActually, I think all my girl friends did that.â
Luka nods slowly, thinks of the school photos in the album Juleka bought from the thrift shop, tries to match faces in his head. He thinks he sees pigtails. Or maybe a bun. He could be wrong. âSo,â he says, âyou had it pretty bad for him, huh.â
âI dunno if I had it bad. Like I said, puppy love. I mean, I thought we were soulmatesâGod, I even named our kidsâand I couldnât even get out a sentence in front of him. I didnât even like him at first. Plus, we were like, fourteen. I didnât know any better.â
He shrugs. âJust cause you were fourteen doesnât mean it wasnât real.â He thinks he catches a blush stealing across Marinetteâs face then, but maybe itâs just a trick of the lights. âSo⊠what changed?â
âWith Juleka? Or Adrien?â
âBoth, I guess.â
Marinette turns her head away. âItâs dumb.â
Luka shrugs again, smiling faintly. âSo?â
She starts to pick at her nails, like her hands are just looking for something to do. Without thinking, he gives the spinner ring on his index finger a flick to get her attention, then slides it off and hands it to her. She looks at it with questions in her eyes, then slips it on. It barely fits her index finger, and it wobbles when she gives it a curious flick of her own. It seems to get the job done, at least. âHe lent me his umbrella,â she mumbles, final but sheepish. Then she follows up, before his brow can so much as furrow, âHe was friends with an old bully of mineâMrs. Bourgeoisâs daughter, actuallyâand I caught him doing something with some gum on my chair. And I⊠misjudged him. âAnother flick. âHe was trying to make it up to me. And he said⊠he didnât have any friends. He hadnât even been to school.â
He lets out a hollow laugh. âRich kids, huh?â And then, at the first sign of her discomfort, âSorry, Iââ
âNo,â she says. âItâs okay, I was just thinkingâŠâ She presses her thumb into the curve and the aged grooves of the ring more than she actually spins it. Like she cares about losing it more than she cares about comforting herself. âI think everything around me told me that⊠that was how I was supposed to feel. Unwavering love. Now itâs been years, and I think⊠I think I just wanted to be that friend for him. I just wanted to be what he was looking for.â
Luka lifts his gaze from the ring to her face. âWho says thatâs not love?â He doesnât know where the words come from. They just feel like the right ones to say.
Marinette freezes, blinking at her hands. She doesnât say anything; the only sound is the whine of his ring as the metal scrapes together with another flick.
When the silence goes on a bit too long for either of their liking, Luka clears his throat uncertainly. âSo, umâŠâ
She speaks so he doesnât have to. âJuleka,â she murmurs. âRight, umâŠâ Itâs hard to tell whoâs more uncomfortable between the two of them. Who's really supposed to say what next. âWell, I mean⊠you can sort of imagine that I wasnât the only one who wanted to⊠yâknow. Be with Adrien.â
Luka doesnât have to imagine, but he nods anyway.
âNotââ Marinette hedgesâânot that Juleka was competition or anything. I mean, duh. Just⊠there was this other girlâthere were other girls, andâŠâ
âYou donât have to tell me this,â he urges. âIf it still hurts.â
She closes her eyes. Hard, and just for a moment. âPlease let me tell you this.â
Her voice wavers. Thatâs all the cue Luka needs to stay quiet. To let her say everything, or nothing, at her pace.
âHer name was Lila,â she says. âShe was a new girl. From Italy. Everyone liked her, except⊠she lied. Like, compulsively. About connections she had, places sheâd been, charity work she did. And she did it because she wanted everyone to like her. She was just telling people what they wanted to hear because the attention made her feel important. She thrived on it.â She gets to her feet. âSorry, I canât sit still when I get all⊠agitated. You know?â
Luka gestures vaguely at the balcony space. âThat makes two of us.â
Marinette takes that as her cue to start pacing and turning on her heels, only pausing every so often to stare up at the night sky. âI was jealous,â she admits. âI was also our class representative. And I mightâve⊠used that to my advantage.â
Maybe he shouldnât say Hell yeah out loud, but heâs definitely thinking it.
âI kept tabs on peopleâs schedules, you know?â she says. âSo we could work on important events and class projects and stuff. There was one we were planning for Adrien, to celebrate that heâd been in school with us for a year and all. And it just so happened thatâŠâ she shrugs, feigning apology. âAll the days that worked conflicted with all her charity work.â
Luka whistles, half-impressed. âThis the part where you tell me she decided to make your life a living hell like some high school drama villain?â
Marinetteâs face falls. âYeah,â she says, and her voice cracks, and he wishes he werenât right. âBut all she did was exactly what I did. Convinced⊠everybody⊠that every little thing I did was proof that I wasnât a real friend. That I couldn't commit to anything because I committed to everything. And especially with how I avoided her⊠didnât trust her, treated her cruelly. she turned everyone against me, a little at a time. Even Alya.â She shifts her weight. âEven Juleka.â
Lukaâs heart sinks. He almost wants to reach for her hands when she paces toward him. Almost wants to kick himself for asking, âAnd⊠then what?â
She lingers at the balcony railing, perhaps preferring to tell the night sky the rest. âShe got me expelled.â
Luka tenses.
Marinette doesnât notice. âIâd been telling myself for months that I deserved it. Eventually I just⊠believed it. Let it happen. Never talked to my classmates again.â She shrugs. âI cried a lot. Transferred schools. Threw myself into⊠everything. Because if Lila said that was what I was doingâjust over-committingâI might as well own it. And because if I was constantly doing something, then I couldnât stop to think about all the bad things I deserved. And I couldnât be paranoid about being judged for every little thing I did.â
âWhatâŠâ Heâs trying, with every fiber in him, to keep his heart from breaking for her. To keep himself from blurting out how well he knows the feeling. âWhat about Alya? And Adrien, and, uh⊠Mrs. Bourgeoisâs kid?â
Marinette turns to face him, leaning back against the railing, and something in her faceâno, everythingâchanges. Thereâs a tiredness in her eyes, a twitch in her hands. Lines in her face that shouldnât be there for decades. As though sheâs just lived them all over again. âI didnât talk to Alya for over a year. I couldnât be friends with her. I couldnât even talk to her.â Her gaze lowers. âIt was really hard on Nino.â
âNino?â
âOur friend. well. My friend. Her boyfriend. Heâs the one Iâve been helping for that summer project.â She folds her arms tight. âHe apologized first. If it werenât for him, Alya and I still wouldnât be talking. And ChloĂ©, well⊠Mrs. Bourgeoisâs recommendation letter had nothing to do with her. I entered some contests with my portfolio and won a couple of them.â She flicks her gaze back. âI did run into ChloĂ© once. In New York. I guess she decided to live with her mom for a while. She kind of took the âenemy of my enemy is my allyâ approach. Which was⊠weird. But tolerable.â
Luka searches her face, even at a distance, and settles on the end of the deck chair again. âWhat about Adrien?â
The pause that follows is heavy. He canât tell who feels the weight of it more; he just hopes itâs equal. Marinette scrunches up her lips, braces herself on the railing, and all those decades come back. âWell,â she murmurs. âI guess you donât really realize what you have until itâs gone, huh.â
He sobers. âHe felt guilty.â
âI guess we all did.â She scuffs her heel. âI guess we all do.â
Luka waits. There must be more she wants to say.
There is. She even starts pacing again. âMy guidance counselor used to tell me that all thatâs necessary for the triumph of evil is that good people do nothing. It was supposed to be comforting.â
He raises an eyebrow. âIt doesnât sound very comforting.â
âIt wasnât so bad,â she says, âHe reminded me they were still good people, and good people could do bad things, and even if they were still good, it was okay for me to not want those people in my life anymore. I dunno.â She rocks on her feet. âMaybe someone told Adrien the same thing and he couldnât stand doing nothing anymore.â
âDid you want him?â he asks. âIn your life? Do you still?â
She heaves a laugh like itâs hard to do. âWould you think it was messed up if I said yes?â
âNo, of course not.â
âHe could see it,â she says. âWhat Lila was doing. That was why he felt so bad. That was why he convinced her to clear my name. Turns out he knows how to use things to his advantage, too.â
Luka softens and runs his fingers over the body of his guitar. âHe must love you a lot,â he says, âif he was willing to do all that for you.â
At first, Marinette doesnât say anything, only grips the railing tighter. He can see it, how her knuckles go white, as though thereâs something sheâs trying to forget. Then she murmurs, âShe tried to talk to me. Juleka did. To⊠apologize⊠I ghosted her. I didnât want to deal with it anymore. For a while, I didnât want to deal with anything anymore. I donât want you to think it didnât hurt me, because it did. It did hurt.â
Lukaâs stomach turns. He puts his guitar down. âThatâs why youâve been so nice to me, huhâŠâ Thereâs a lump in his throat that he tries to swallow; he only partly succeeds. âYou felt guilty about avoiding her and just⊠wanted to make it up to her.â
Something flashes across Marinetteâs face. Horror, maybe. Or shame. âNo, Iâthatâs not what Iââ
âIâm not upset.â Heâs not. Heâs staring at the floor with a pit in his stomach and a shake in his limbs, and his knee is starting to throb again in protest, but heâs not upset. âReally. I get it. If thatâs what you needed for your own closure, thenâŠâ
A ragged breath and a sniffle cut him off, and heâs barely able to lift his gaze before Marinette kneels in front of him, placing his ring in his palm and closing his fingers around it. He canât revel in the touchâwonât let himselfâbecause her hands are cold. Trembling. âDonât go,â she whispers, squeezing his hand tight, and when he looks up there are tears staining her cheeks. âIâm sorry, I know I shouldnât even be asking this of you, just⊠please, donât go.â
Luka learned, a long time ago, to look for the things unsaid. when I canât make it really meant Iâm trying to avoid you. when youâre certainly different really meant God, you are a level of fucked-up I canât put into words. When we need to talk really meant it's over.
He hears, âPlease donât go,â and he thinks he finds, I want you in my life. Donât you want me in yours?
Or, maybe, I need you.
Or maybe itâs as simple, as desperate, as, Not you, too.
Heâs known Juleka, and maybe even himself, long enough to know what that sounds like in other people.
âHey,â he murmurs. âHey, Iâm not going.â
Marinette freezes, still staring at their hands. âWhy? You have every reason to.â
âBecause Iâm not.â
âYouâve known me for like, two months, as what? A bakerâs daughter? Overly nice customer service? Someone who just gave you kindness out of some dumb high school guilt?â
âIâm not going,â Luka says again.
âYou should.â Marinette rubs her eyes dry. âWhy not?â
âBecause I donât want to.â He coaxes his hand open, slides the ring back onto her finger. âIsnât that enough?â
Marinette studies the ring, giving it a cautious flick. As though touching it might break it altogether. âItâs too big.â
âThen Iâll trade you.â Luka takes the ring back, digs around in his pocket, and fishes out a couple of guitar picks. âHere. Take one.â
One of them has a picture of Jagged Stoneâs face. The other has a Kitty Section logo, crudely painted on with some of Julekaâs old nail polish. Marinette takes the first one almost instantly with another sniffle, examining it from all sides. âHeâs⊠my favorite.â
âYeah.â Luka smiles, not minding that she canât see it, and thinks of the album cover. âMine, too.â
She runs her thumb over the faces and edges, blinking away whatever tears threaten to stick around. âWhy?â she asks again.
âTo prove it.â He tilts his head. âTo prove Iâm not going.â
She turns the pick this way and that, but doesnât put it away just yet. Instead, her eyes drift toward his guitar and the amp, and then up to him. âHey,â she says. âDo you think you could do me a favor?â
âI know,â he tells her. âI wonât tell Jules about any of this. And I wonât make you talk to her if you donât want to.â And Iâll stay. I swear to God Iâll stay.
âNot that.â Marinette presses her lips together, still sitting on her knees. Still holding on to the pick for dear life. âCan you play it again?â
âWhat, the song from your playlist?â
âMe.â She looks away, her cheeks flushed and blotchy. âCan you play me. Again.â
Lukaâs heart picks up, so loud he can barely hear anything else. Even her. âYeah,â he says, setting his guitar in his lap, âYeah, I think I got it this time.â
i guess itâs eleven now.
#miraculous ladybug#lukanette#luka couffaine#marinette dupain cheng#fic: chronicles of a parisian dumbass#ah.............. emotions.
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âââââââââ âŠđ⊠âââââââââ
My Top 10 Favourite Horrors
Within this top 10 list, some will include the prequels, sequels and any other follow ups as 1 ranking number. Some may be considered thriller, sci-fi, suspence etc, however, I do regard these as horrors myself.
I have take many aspects into account, such as videography, actor quality, SFX makeup quality, soundtrack, directors, CGI etc.
Note : this is my personal opinion. You do not have to agree with it, though if you haven't seen these, I highly reccomend them.
âââââââââ âŠđ⊠âââââââââ
âŠ
âŠ
âŠ
âââââââââ âŠđ⊠âââââââââ
1. The Conjuring
(1 & 2)
âââââââââ âŠđ⊠âââââââââ
âââââââââ âŠđ⊠âââââââââ
The Conjuring 1 :
The Perron family moves into a farmhouse where they experience paranormal phenomena. They consult demonologists, Ed and Lorraine Warren, to help them get rid of the evil entity haunting them.
The Conjuring Trailer :
youtube
The Conjuring 2 :
Peggy, a single mother of four children, seeks the help of occult investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren when she and her children witness strange, paranormal events in their house
The Conjuring 2 Trailer :
youtube
My Opinion :
The Conjuring was the start of an incredible series of horrors that beat any other horror to the ground. It is absolutely fantastic and I basically worship these films. James Wan is my favourite director and he never ceases to amaze me.
Paranormal horror is my favourite and as someone who actually believes in the paranormal and who has had paranormal experiences, I can confirm that The Conjuring is much more realistic than any other paranormal films, which just makes it extra spooky.
The actors, camera angles, music, sfx makeup and storyline is just - chefs kiss -. I've been waiting for the 3rd one for so long, but they keep extending the release date. (R. I. P)
âââââââââ âŠđ⊠âââââââââ
âŠ
âŠ
âŠ
âââââââââ âŠđ⊠âââââââââ
2. Annabelle
(all of them)
âââââââââ âŠđ⊠âââââââââ
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Annabelle :
John and Mia Form are attacked by a Satan worshipping couple, who uses their doll as a conduit to make their life miserable. This unleashes a string of paranormal events in the Forms' residence.
Annabelle Trailer :
youtube
Annabelle Creation :
Samuel and Elle embed their daughter's spirit into a doll, only to realise it is a demon. Years later, they open their home to a nun and six orphan girls, one of whom finds the doll.
Annabelle Creation Trailer :
youtube
Annabelle Comes Home :
Judy and her babysitter are left alone in her house after her parents leave to investigate a case. However, an unexpected guest sets Annabelle free, unleashing demonic activity in the house.
Annabelle Comes Home Trailer :
youtube
My Opinion :
Another great film series that was birthed form The Conjuring. Definitely less realistic, with many more jumpscares and spooky characters, which is appreciated in the horror world. Many people find dolls far more creepy than ghosts, myself included, so that's another perfect aspect that adds to the suspense.
I prefer Annabelle 3 over the others, mainly because I found that one to be more scary overall, even though Daniela is an idiot and she makes me so frustrated đ
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3. Saw
(all of them)
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For the totally unindoctrinated, the Saw movie franchise revolves around the Jigsaw Killer (a.k.a. John Kramer), who tortures victims he believes are complacent or guilty, in order to make them appreciate their time on Earth.
All Saw Trailers :
youtube
Obviously I'm not going to list every Saw movie, because there are 7 (Jigsaw aka number 8, does NOT count. It is a disgrace).
My Opinion :
A classic for horror and gore lovers of all kinds. Of course I need to list this as number 3. I simply adore these movies. I even have the DVD set, so I am definitely a long term fan haha.
The obstacles and creativity regarding Saw as a whole needed a lot of thought put into it, plus it has a happy little side note of "make sure you don't cause harm to others in life and don't take anything for granted" which some may have not even noticed while being overwhelmed by the amount of fake blood.
Yes, a lot of characters are annoying, but that just makes us enjoy seeing them tortured even more (shh it's not real). Some of the blood doesn't look very realistic, the sfx can lack attention, BUT... It's still great and I can overlook these few flaws to appreciate the movies to the max.
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4. Blair Witch
(2016)
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A young man and his friends venture into the Black Hills Forest in Maryland to uncover the mystery surrounding his missing sister. Many believe her disappearance 17 years earlier is connected to the legend of the Blair Witch.
At first the group is hopeful, especially when two locals act as guides through the dark and winding woods. As the night wears on, a visit from a menacing presence soon makes them realize that the legend is all too real, and more sinister than they could have ever imagined.
Blair Witch Trailer :
youtube
My Opinion :
I love the camerawork. Not because it's perfect, because it's the opposite. It's a documentary style and this makes it feel more realistic, as if you are within the film yourself. I enjoy how they skip to the action at just the right time after a mild buildup.
The visuals are great as well and there were definitely some parts where I was disgusted and claustrophobic, which is good to experience while enjoying these types of films.
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5. Under The Skin
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Disguising itself as a human female, an extraterrestrial drives around Scotland attempting to lure unsuspecting men into her van. Once there, she seduces and sends them into another dimension where they are nothing more than meat.
Under The Skin Trailer :
youtube
My Opinion :
I would classify this as horror, but many won't. Either way, this is an amazingly artistic film with beautiful imagery and silent awe. It definitely makes you feel the suspense in a calming manner and it has some really dark moments. Without reading the description, one might be confused as to what is going on, but how art is supposed to be interpretated is by the imagination of individuals.
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6. Veronica
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During a solar eclipse, young VerĂłnica and her friends want to summon the spirit of VerĂłnica's father using an Ouija board. However, during the session she loses consciousness and soon it becomes clear that evil demons have arrived.
Veronica Trailer :
youtube
My Opinion :
A Spanish masterpiece, to put it simply. It's hard to find proper horrors like this in English. I really enjoyed this one and I watched it subbed not dubbed, because I feel like voiceovers tend to ruin the art of the original film. The buildup is perfect and unlike many horrors, it barely shows you the face of the "monster". That leaves it to the imagination, which in general makes it far more scary.
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7. Underwater
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Disaster strikes more than six miles below the ocean surface when water crashes through the walls of a drilling station. Led by their captain, the survivors realize that their only hope is to walk across the sea floor to reach the main part of the facility. But they soon find themselves in a fight for their lives when they come under attack from mysterious and deadly creatures that no one has ever seen.
Underwater Trailer :
youtube
My Opinion :
This movie was released quite recently and I didn't know what to expect. I was definitely blown away by how good it was. Being trapped underwater gives most people a sense of anxiety. Add being trapped underwater and being hunted by creepy sea monsters and you've got yourself a good horror. Kristen Stewarts general anxious personality definitely suits this film well.
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8. Split
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Kevin, who is suffering from dissociative identity disorder and has 23 alter egos, kidnaps three teenagers. They must figure out his friendly personas before he unleashes his 24th personality.
Split Trailer :
https://youtu.be/84TouqfIsiI
My Opinion :
An incredible film with phenomenal acting on the part of James McAvoy. You can get lost within his character and almost feel as if you are the character itself. Suspense is built up slowly and the climax of the film is released rapidly. People I know who do not enjoy horror, love this film themselves, which is saying something. It's definitely one of the best modern films that draws you in from the start.Â
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9. A Quiet Place
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A family struggles for survival in a world where most humans have been killed by blind but noise-sensitive creatures. They are forced to communicate in sign language to keep the creatures at bay.
A Quiet Place Trailer :
https://youtu.be/WR7cc5t7tv8
My Opinion :
As you can tell by now, I love anything alien related. This film has some of the most amazing looking aliens I've seen, I was honestly in awe by how great they looked. Another silent film, but in a different sense to the previous one. Instead of being the hunter, this family is being hunted and this adds more to the fear factor.
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10. Unfriended - Dark Web
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When a teen finds a laptop with a cache of hidden files, he and his friend discover that the previous owner has access to the dark web and is watching over them.
Unfriended - Dark Web Trailer :
https://youtu.be/XenTM_C9fxM
My Opinion :
A modern take on horror. Involving the actual dangers of the dark web and the use of technology and turning it into a horror was a magnificent idea. It definitely had me at the edge of my seat.
Due to another film type that is not often explored (thus being that most of the movie is equal to what it would be like to look at your computer and video chat), it makes it different and therefore more compelling than the usual videography styles.
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Thank you for reading, if you've made it this far! Feel free to share your top 10 in the comment section, I am definitely interested in your opinions and finding new movies to watch myself. Any questions are also welcome.
Until next time, take care and stay spooky!
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#Horror#Horror movies#Horror films#Review#Movie review#Horror movie review#Horror fans#The Conjuring#Annabelle#Saw#Blair witch#Under the skin#Veronica#Underwater#Split#A quiet place#Unfriended dark web#Scary#Spooky#Spoopy#Dark#dark side#Paranormal#Supernatural#Witch#Witchy#Ouija#Spanish#James Wan#Youtube
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Title: Division of Labor (3/?)
Summary: Â
âThe past years, we have noticed a lot of our fresh high school graduates knew nothing about responsibilities that await them outside high school and even college. Many students do not master budgeting, taxes, household planning, loans and we hope to raise a generation who can navigate the adult world without the consequences of bad decisions they are bound to make going in blindlyâŠâ
Paradis High school starts a program incorporating adulting into their curriculum and Hange and Levi are paired together.
Note: From request of @a-golden-hearted-snk-fan. See this link for the request
Other Chapters: 1Â 2
Link to cross-postings: AO3
It turned out Hange did think the housing plan through. Â
"It's a rent to own contract...so after paying this certain amount of rent⊠within a number of years⊠we can own the house basically," Hange explained. Her preparation was evident in the wad of papers she had carelessly spread out on the table in front of Levi.
At first glance, Levi could not make sense of what those papers were. Eventually, by carefully scanning through the therefore, herewiths, in the events, the interest rates and percentages, Levi figured out they were contracts and manuals full of buying and renting policies of one particular real estate company.
Levi looked out the glass window of the booth of the quiet diner they had chosen to work in. He had tried to use the mechanical movements of the crowds on a commute home to at least help clear his mind enough to make sense of how exactly a rent-to-own contract worked. Levi was sure Hange was at least attempting to explain everything about the buying policies of the real estate company in layman's terms. Although Levi was somewhat impressed by the dedication Hange put into it, as soon as she started to talk about the policies and agreements beyond âwe get to own the house after a while,â Levi ended up spacing out. The prospect of spending, even if it was fake money, caused him enough unnecessary stress. Â
He turned his attention to the two flour sacks who were propped by the window of the diner booth they occupied. He had purposefully turned their ugly faces towards the window at the small possibility that Shadis, Erwin or even Zeke were amongst the crowds of people walking through the crowds and into the subway station. A testament to their determination not to waste any unnecessary funds or worse, flunk the program
"If we catch you in public not holding your baby, you pay babysitting dues or you fail." Shadis had said in homeroom class that morning.
After some discussion as a class and with some confirmation from Erwin, the whole class came to the understanding that if they went out separately, they were in no obligation to take their babies with them. It could always be assumed after all, that their partner had their baby with them. Being in public with their partner meant someone had to have the baby with them or they risk pay necessary dues. At any rate, they found solace in the fact that if they were going to look like idiots holding brown sacks with shabbily drawn faces on them, they at least had someone to look like an idiot with.
Levi looked back at  Hange to see that she had not stopped talking. Levi was not too surprised, having the disinterested equivalent of a resting bitch face, he had to master the art of looking like he cared to get past most classes. Â
âWhere did you get these anyway?â Levi asked, interrupting the tirade of his partner. The answer to that question would at least be something he would be able to understand.
âThe procedures manual and their company policies are available online.â Hange answered matter-of-factly. Levi noted how quickly she recovered from having her explanation of policy and business jargon interrupted.
As Levi looked once again through highlighted lines and messy scrawls, he felt embarrassed that he was not even halfway done with the design they had discussed the night before. He slowly brought out his folder where he had at least begun to draw the floor plan from the link Hange had sent him the night before.
âHow has the floor plan been Levi?â Hange cocked her head to one side. Levi could not tell if she was provoking him or if she was genuinely curious about the progress of his work. Regardless, the way that she sifted through the papers under her, while looking pointedly at the roughly drawn floor plan on his hands had Levi self conscious.
It was Tuesday afternoon, less than 24 hours since she had bombarded him with messages. Less than 24 hours since she dropped a pdf file of the floor plan and went MIA, Levi guessed it was to prepare all the documents which Hange had just laid out in front of him that morning. As he compared his own progress to hers, he also became aware of one more reality, their first outputs were due tomorrow. Begrudgingly Levi had to admit, despite her naivete and overenthusiasm, Hange had a better sense of urgency than he did.
âI planned everything out already. I just need to outline it.â Levi said, trying at least not to sound as defensive as he felt.
âBut can you do it alone? I didnât sleep at all last night to get this done.â Hange looked more concerned than anything else.â
As Levi looked back at a skeleton of a housing plan that lay in front of him, he started to understand her concern. The house they had selected was huge and designing would take hours if he actually wanted to put thought into it.
âI mean even if we take out the 1800 from our budget of 3600 dollars a month, we still have to consider furniture and it might take you a while to come out with the pricing right? I guess we could leave out 1000 dollars for thatâŠ.â
Furniture? Levi had stopped listening at âfurniture.â Somehow Levi had assumed that it would have been fully furnished when they bought it and they just had to rearrange furniture. âWeâre buying an unfurnished house?â Levi had hoped Hange was pulling his leg.
Hange knitted her brows in confusion. âDid I say anything about a furnished house?â
                     Division of Labor
âThere are two methods of accounting used in modern day society: cost accounting and accrual accounting or as Iâd like to call them: an idiotâs sorry excuse for accounting and actual accounting.â Zeke wrote the two terms on the board and plopped himself on the teacherâs desk. âReally though, why the hell do people still use cost accounting in modern society, itâs fucking stupid, barbaric, might as well go back to barteringâŠâ
Levi had no idea what either of them were. As he looked around at his classmates, they looked as lost as he was about the mini rant that Zeke gave about the two accounting methods he had failed to define.
After a few minutes of ranting, Zeke finally noticed the blank faces of his students. âOkay Social Experiment.â Zeke cocked his head to the side. âActually, letâs call it an IQ Test. Â Jean stand up.â
âYes sir!â Jean followed way too enthusiastically.
âYou got the investment banker occupation so ideally you should be the most knowledgeable on money among everyone in the room,â Zeke continued. âYou have zero dollars and I gave you 100 dollars right now. How much do you have?â
â100 dollars sir,â Jean answered.
âThatâs a smart boy.â Zeke slapped his desk so hard, Armin and Eren jumped, having sat so close to the teacherâs desk. âOkay, so if I lent you 100 dollars, how much do you have?â
â100 dollars.â
âSo, youâre gonna run away with my money? No plans of paying me back?â
Jean tensed up in confusion. âNo sir. Iâll be paying you back.â
âThen is it your money?"
âItâs with me sir⊠So I thinkâŠâ Jean paused for a second. âSo itâs your money sir?â
âTell me. The money is with you after all. Is it your money or my money?â
âItâs my money sir!â Jean answered too quickly, probably without even thinking.
âI lent you the money. I expect it back so itâs mine. Calling my money your money is practically stealing Kirschtein. I can call a lawyer on you.â Zeke narrowed his eyes at Jean for a few seconds before shrugging in defeat. âBut youâre not a criminal. Youâre just an idiot who relies on outdated accounting methods. Donât take that with you when you become an actual financial advisor. Sit down. Iâm calling someone else.â Zeke turned back to the class list on the teacherâs table. âOkay, anyone in this list with a finance related position...â Zekeâs eyes widened in surprise as he looked through the list. He looked at the class with a cat-like grin, his eyes focusing on one boy in the front row. âIn my almost sixteen years of knowing you, I did not expect you to be suitable but it looks like youâre the only one in this list other than Jean with an accounting related occupation.â
âReally? Itâs accounting related?â Eren had never been one to be good at Math. Everyone in the class agreed and as their professor hinted at his assigned occupation, many began to whisper, possibly theorizing as to what Eren had gotten.
They did not have to theorize for long though, within seconds, Zeke continued to discuss. âOkay Eren, letâs discuss your field of expertise --- insurance.â
Eren slowly nodded in return. It was a nod which everyone in the room had understood at first glance. Insurance was not Erenâs field of expertise.
Zeke did not seem to care though. âCase study time! I have 3000 dollars. Eren the insurance salesman sells me $200 dollars a month worth of insurance and I buy one years worth of prepaid insurance. By the end of this month, how much worth of assets do I have left?â
âBy assets, you mean money?â
âCheck a fucking dictionary.â
Eren sat down for a second. From his seat, Levi could hear some whispers from Mikasa and some clicks of a digital keyboard, or possibly a calculator.
â600 dollars.â
âFinal answer?â
âYes. Final Answer.â Eren seemed so sure of his answer.
From seeing Zekeâs face at the answer, Levi could not help but think, maybe phrasing it as a question was the better option for Eren.
âThis is why your generation is so shit at saving. With this type of attitude, youâre all gonna get into some shity Ponzi scheme with yourself and some sad saps who actually pitied you enough to lend you money without assessing your credit rating thatâs just gonna continue riding on some endless cycle until you all go to jail or declare bankruptcy.â Zeke ranted again as he punched the buttons of the projector, turning it on. â Scratch that. At this rate, none of you would probably even know how to declare bankruptcy.â
Accounting 101 . Those two words flashed on the screen, the contrast of black words in a default font to the white background of a hastily made powerpoint only getting clearer as the projector whirred to life.
âThe amount of debt you can get into in the real world will fuck up your life. So to simulate the real world consequences of unpaid debt, we decided to make your fake debt by the end of the year one of the main determinants of your final grade. And we will be using real accounting to determine your debt. Any questions before we start?â
It was Sasha who raised her hand from the back of the classroom.
âYes?â Zeke asked with shoddily hidden annoyance.
âSo which one is cost and which one is accrual again, Sir?â
                   Division of Labor
"I told you. I'll handle the accounting," Hange said. "We can make this work." Her words were not at all assuring.
It was Wednesday afternoon. They had submitted their selection for their house that afternoon in class so that meant no more takebacks. Their house plans were due midnight and Levi was not even halfway done. To add insult to injury, Levi was still reeling from Zekeâs lecture just a few hours ago.
Initially, Hange had suggested they buy the furniture in installments. The prospect of buying in installments though became all the more terrifying with the accounting system Zeke had introduced to them that day and the weight of a negative balance sheet on their grades.
As soon as you buy something and enter into debt, the money owed is not yours anymore. Levi shuddered as those words echoed in his head. He narrowed his eyes at Hange. "Really Hange? Can we? After deciding to spend half your salary each month on an unfinished 3 bedroom house?" Levi asked as he gestured to their next tall order that stretched over two aisles. They were in the baby's section in the supermarket.
It was their third round around that aisle, trying to look for a brand of diaper and a brand of formula that would not cost them a total of 400 dollars a month.
âI mean, we still have 800 dollars on groceries if we put our furniture installments budget at 1000 dollars a month,â Hange explained. âSo if we spend 400 dollars on baby stuff, we should have 400 left.â
â400 dollars for a monthâs worth of meals for a family of four.â Levi clarified. âThere must be something here we could choose not to spend on.â Or maybe we could find a cheaper place to buy things in. Levi thought back to the supermarket nearer to his house and made a mental note to check it. The output was due on Friday anyway.
"Hey, Armin and Annie are here too!" Hange said enthusiastically.
Too enthusiastically. Levi clarified to himself. That was not at all good news. If other groups were going to that supermarket, that must mean they think they have the financial leeway to spend there, That could also possibly mean he and Hange had somehow fucked up financially as a pair, struggling to make ends meet. Armin was a studious student with a good head on his shoulders and he chose to shop in a more expensive supermarket. Are we spending too much?
"Let's ask ArminâŠ" Levi did not need to finish his sentence. By the time, he looked to his side, where Hange stood or at least was supposed to be standing, the latter was already on her way to the blond boy..
Levi did not waste anytime. As Hange chatted up Armin, Levi made a few rounds through the two aisles again, his phone calculator on hand.
Just in case. Levi told himself. Just in case they had miscalculated the minimum expense of 400 dollars.
                   Division of Labor
Hange had a long talk with Armin. By that point, Levi had lost count of the number of rounds he had made around the aisle. He had stopped counting at five. He had done his research on discounts and made some fake accounts and the expense still clocked at $390 dollars.
By the time he and Hange called it quits, the sun was setting. Hange seemed lost in thought and she had been that way since she had finished her conversation with Armin. Levi decided to take over keeping both sacks for the night. He made a small detour to the grocery store nearest to his flat. It was smaller, a little dirtier but it meant a little more room for spending and a bigger chance of saving his grade and graduating. Begrudgingly, sanitation became the least of Levi's issues.
He wrote out all the prices of the important items they had seen in the grocery store. When he got home, he made sure to write them all on a google sheet complete with weight, quantity and prices and sent the link to Hange through an instant message. For some reason, he felt a twinge of disappointment when all he received was a heart react in return.
Of course, Hange still had a lot of things to calculate. Even as they separated less than an hour ago, she had seemed distracted. Levi guessed Armin had told her something game breaking about the accounting process.
What did Armin tell you? You need any help?
Will explain soon. Send the meal plan and house design by 9 pls.
Levi managed to submit the meal plan by nine. He had copied and pasted from some random family cooking website, changing a few ingredients to fit what he thought would be cheaper options. He did not need to think too much of it either. He lived a life many would consider the complete opposite of excess and as a result, had mastered the art of improvisation when it came to food.
His main problem lay with the floor plan of the house. Hange had agreed to handle worrying about the expenses. That was one problem out of his plate.
Even with the money problem out of his hands, Levi found himself working until late anyway. Or not working⊠Levi was only reminded of his lack of productivity when his phone lit up with a notification.
11:00pm
Hange Zoe
Where??????
Levi only realized then that he had gotten a little carried away with the problem of where to put the washing machine.
                 Division of Labor
It was a genius idea.
That Wednesday night, only a few hours before the house plan was due, Levi had had fifty tabs open from German and Japanese house designers showing bathrooms and laundry room designs highlighting the novelty and practicality of putting the washing machine in the bathroom. Levi had spent hours pondering the logistics of making it work for the house design Hange had sent him only for her to shoot down the idea an hour before the housing plan was due.
They rented an American style house with a bathroom in every bedroom and the impracticality had dawned on him particularly when it was fifteen minutes to 12am and they were still arguing in chat over how to design the house. In the end, Hange had gotten her way, having brought up the issue of accounting furniture and the fact that they probably did not even have the financial leeway to pay for a washing machine anyway.
Having to deal with the disappointment of losing the opportunity to design the house the way he wanted to and having his unfinished design shipped off to Erwinâs email, with little regard for the effort he had put into the intricacy of both the toilets and the laundry room, Levi was a little pissed. He also considered the fact that he had respected the effort and detail Hange had put into choosing a house and had allowed her to submit a potentially overpriced and unfurnished house as their final product.
And she could not even reciprocate the respect for his whims.
Levi decided then to take a break from it all. It was a silent agreement on both ends. Or there was no need for an agreement anyway. They had finished their deliverables for the week by Thursday.
Everyone had ended up cramming theirs anyway and Levi found himself walking home alone and spending his time outside school hours bingeing whatever was new on Netflix.
By Monday, Levi had not expected to do much. Their breakdown of responsibilities was due Friday, 12am on Thursday to be exact according to the file that Erwin had sent. It was a one page paper with a few questions that just needed answering. They could easily start on Tuesday or Wednesday.
Levi wanted to spend at least just his Monday, peacefully, not considering the program which has been plaguing the start of their junior year since Shadisâ announcement just a week ago. He allowed himself to clear his mind, making sure to just note on his phone to start on the next output by Wednesday. Hange would probably remind him anyway.
He had deluded himself well into thinking the adulting program was limited to those once a week outputs. An announcement was made to meet in the kitchen after lunch for home economics class. His mood that Monday had him living in complete denial of what could actually go on in a school kitchen and for some reason, Levi imagined having a lecture in the kitchen was a completely normal expectation, even with the reminder to bring aprons and gloves. Maybe we just need to put them in lockers or something.
As the students filed in though, some of them panicked and that was when Levi figured out that something was not right. The counters were all lined up with ingredients. Some of the students had recognized the ingredients. Levi looked to Hange to see that she was blank on what the hell the pattern was behind the types of ingredients set out.
There were the essentials--- flour, sugar, eggs. There were exotic ingredients Levi could not even name or pronounce.
âCardamom, Star Anise, Rose water. What the hell?â It was Jean speaking from behind Levi.
âIâm glad you see the pattern. Iâm assuming that means youâll all do well?â Erwin waited while the rest of the class filed into the room before he raised his voice loud enough for everyone to hear. âToday weâll be having a pop quiz just to make sure you all know what youâre writing when you make the meal plans. In the tables assigned to you, you will see the ingredients for one of the meals you put in your meal plan. Please use them accordingly to make a full course meal from what you had submitted.â
Levi could not remember for the life of him what the hell he had put in that meal plan a week back
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Loyalty Or Royalty
Chapter 10
Summary: Mia Bhatt spent years trying to escape her past, trying to escape the feeling of betrayal that was left in her heart after the fire, and she finally had. She was marrying the King of Cordonia and was finally going to get her happily ever after. But, after a momentary lapse in judgement caused her to send a wedding invitation to someone she was sure had forgotten about her, she realizes that sometimes the past has a way of crawling back to you.
Authorâs Note: In this fic Anton and The Sons of Earth were caught before the wedding. Also this story will contain flashbacks that will be in italics.
Pairing: Liam x MC (Mia Bhatt), Platonic!Colt x MC, Past!Logan x MC
Word Count: 3,972
Warning: Language
Taglist: @flowerpowellâââ, @dcbbwâââ, @texaskitten30âââ, @kingliam2019ââââ, @hopefulmoonobjectâââ, @lovehugsandcandyââââ, @los-cafeterosââââ, @desireepow-1986ââââ @lovemychoicesââââ, @kimmiedoo5ââ
Catch Up: Masterlist
Logan was kissing her. Miaâs body was frozen in shock, her eyes wide open as she tried to figure out what to do. One second they were sprawled out on her bed and he was helping her study for her history test, and the next second he was kissing her. She was hyper aware of how stiff her body was and how soft his lips were. By the time she had made up her mind to finally kiss him back he was already pulling away, a slight blush on his cheeks as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.Â
âSorry, I just thought that you-â he immediately began to apologize.
âNo! Itâs okay. I just, uh, Iâve just never,â she trailed off, fighting back her own blush.Â
Logan looked surprised at her statement, and she wasnât sure if she should be embarrassed that she had gotten to seventeen without having her first kiss or not. Much to her surprise, he simply smiled kindly at her.
âCan I do it again?â he asked.
Mia took a deep breath and nodded prompting him to lean in once again. This time when his lips met hers she was ready and she hesitantly kissed him back. However, her stomach dropped at the words he spoke when they finally parted.
âI want to take you on a date.â
âWhat?â she asked.
She wasnât sure why, but a feeling of discomfort overtook her. It wasnât that she didnât like Logan. She did. He was one of the nicest people she knew, and if she was being honest she had developed a small crush on him since he had arrived at the garage four months ago. But keeping her feelings to herself was one thing and going on a date with him was another.Â
She didnât know how to navigate a date. She didnât know how to navigate a relationship. What did people do in a relationship? Besides, was getting into a relationship really worth it. It was bound to end poorly, wasnât it?
âMia. Mia?â Loganâs soft voice pulled her out of her thoughts. âWhat are you thinking about?â
âNo-nothing,â she stammered out, trying to plaster a smile on her face.Â
âAre you sure?â he asked softly, his voice filled with so much kindness that she almost didnât know what to do with herself.
No one had ever looked at her the way he was. No one had ever smiled at her the way he was. He was being so gentle and kind.
âIâd love to go on a date with you,â she said instead of being honest, fighting back the anxious feeling that was rising in her pit of the stomach.Â
Loganâs face lit up and for a moment the discomfort dissipated and she felt genuine excitement.
~~~
âSo I told him to go without me,â Mia said, settling in bed next to Liam and turning onto her side to face him.
âBut, you want to go too,â Liam said, curling his arms around her waist and pulling her to his chest.Â
Mia nestled herself happily into his arms, remaining silent as she tried to figure out how to answer his question. Of course he would know that she wanted to go, and she knew Liam would tell her to if she said yes. Liam had proved to her time and time again that he would do just about anything to make her happy. But, she knew things werenât that simple.Â
âI donât not want to go,â she finally said. âI feel like⊠like thereâs this huge part of me that Iâm just now finding out existed and finding him, finding Kaneko, will help me work things out.â
âThen, you should go, love,â Liam said encouragingly, running his fingers up and down her back.Â
âBut, what about everything here?â she asked.
âAs much as Iâll miss you, Iâll manage for two days without you,â he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.Â
Liam rolled the two of them over, his body hovering over hers as he pressed his lips to her shoulder.Â
âFind your father,â he said, pulling back enough to look down at her.Â
âIâm sorry, Li,â she mumbled, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
âFor what?âÂ
âAll of this. For the fact that Iâm finding out about this now. For Applewood,â she whispered the last part, a feeling of guilt building up in her chest as she thought of it.Â
Liam let out a soft sigh before rolling off of her and sitting up in bed. He pulled Mia into his arms, and she curled up against his chest.Â
âThis isnât your fault, love,â he said.Â
âIt literally is. If I hadnât been here then Kaneko probably wouldnât have gotten involved with Anton and the orchard would have never been burned down in the first place,â she argued, wiping away her tears and pulling herself out of his arms.
âMia, you didnât do this, and you canât blame yourself for it happening,â Liam said more insistently.Â
She sighed in frustration, not sure how to explain why she felt so strongly that this was her fault but still knowing that it was.Â
âDo you think the people would feel the same way if they found out?â she asked only to be met with silence.Â
She turned to look at Liam and briefly saw a troubled look on his face before one of determination took its place instead.Â
âThey wonât find out,â he said firmly.
âBut what if they do? What if Anton or Claudius or another one of their lackeys decide to talk?â she asked, finally addressing what she was sure they were both thinking about.Â
âWeâll make sure they wonât.â
âHow, Li? We canât stop them.â
âTheyâre traitors to the throne, so theyâre in solitary confinement with no outside visitors allowed. You were only able to speak to Claudius today because youâre the Queen. Otherwise they donât interact with anyone except the guards.â
âAnd what if they let something âslipâ to one of the guards, and then the guard lets it slip to someone else who lets it slip to someone else or decides to sell the information to the press. Thereâs about a million ways this could get out. Not to mention, what do we do when we find Kaneko? Do we imprison him ourselves? Do we send him back to the States and let the U.S. authorities deal with him? Do we just let him go? I donât know how to handle any of this!â she exclaimed, getting out of bed and beginning to pace along the length of the floor in front of the bed.Â
âMia, relax. Weâll figure this out together,â Liam promised, trying to get her to stop pacing.Â
âI canât relax! Iâve been queen for five whole minutes and I already feel like Iâm in over my head!â she exclaimed, her breathing becoming heavier the more upset she got. âKaneko was my father, but instead of doing what he was supposed to all heâs done is create more problems for me. Why couldnât he have just died in that fire? Why couldnât he have stayed away from Anton? Why couldnât he have taken me out of that house growing up? Why couldnât he have protected me? Why couldnât he have just loved me?â her voice cracked and she noticed for the first time that her cheeks were wet.Â
She reached up to wipe her tears away, but more were already coming.
âWhy didnât he love me, Li?â she asked, her voice filled with desperation as she broke down once again.
Hercules, who had been sleeping in his dog bed in the corner of the room, walked over to her and began nuzzling his face against her legs. Liam got out of bed and took her into his arms. She pushed her face into his bare chest, the feeling of his skin against hers managing to calm her down some, if only a little. If there was only one thing in the world that she was sure of, it was that Liam loved her and that he always would.
~~~
âWhat are you doing here?â Mia asked, pulling herself out of Liamâs arms and looking to where Drake was placing a small bag into the trunk of the car she and Colt were driving to the airport.Â
Her, Liam, Ellie, and Colt were huddled together by the car saying their goodbyes.Â
âIâm going with you,â he said, just barely glancing into Liamâs direction.Â
The action was so quick that Mia would have missed it if she hadnât been looking close enough.Â
âYouâre sending me with a babysitter?â she asked incredulously, crossing her arms over her chest and popping her hip out.Â
âIf looks could kill, youâd be dead right now,â Colt said, him and Drake sharing a small smirk at Liamâs expense.
âHeâs not a babysitter. You refused to take any members of the guard with you, so I figured Drake was the next best thing. Heâs going with you for protection,â Liam said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.Â
Mia rolled her eyes but accepted his answer. She knew Liam wasnât feeling great about her travelling without guards, but she figured that it would draw less attention to go alone as opposed to having the royal motorcade follow them through Indiana. They had already argued enough about whether or not they should take the royal jet and in the end she agreed that it would be safer because people would recognize her on a plane leaving Cordonia.Â
The more she thought about it the less it seemed like a smart idea for her to be going to Indiana in the first place. There were just too many chances of someone noticing her and then having attention brought to the situation. But, as much as she claimed to trust him, she didnât want to let Colt out of her sight. She was paranoid that he would disappear on her again, although realistically she knew that he wouldnât since Ellie would be staying in Cordonia with the rest of the crew till they got back. But, she didnât want to take the chance that he wouldnât just up and leave the both of them.Â
âYouâre right. Thank you for looking out for me,â she said with a resigned sigh, pushing herself up to the tips of her toes to pull him into a sweet kiss.
âIâll miss you,â Liam said, looking down at her fondly.Â
âIâll miss you too,â she said, pressing another kiss to his lips.Â
They pulled away from each other at the sound of a loud groan coming from behind them. Colt was looking at them expectantly, tapping his foot impatiently.Â
âYouâll be gone for two days max. Is it really that big of a deal?â he asked with a roll of his eyes.
âOh, stop it. Itâs sweet. You know, Iâll miss you too,â Ellie said, nestling herself into Coltâs side.Â
Mia saw Coltâs shoulders relax and a small smile formed on his lips. He wrapped his arms around her, and it was Miaâs turn to groan in disgust.
âOkay, Iâm getting into the car now,â she said, giving Liam one last hug before climbing into the driverâs seat and motioning for the rest of them to hurry up.Â
Colt took a few extra minutes to say goodbye to Ellie, and although Mia wanted to be annoyed, she couldnât help but be happy for him. He was in love with Ellie. Ellie had always made him happy. She could tell as much seven years ago, but now it was obvious how in love they were. By the time the couple had finished saying their goodbyes, Drake had already gotten into the passenger seat so Colt climbed into the back, grumbling about having to sit there.Â
Mia drove the short drive to the airport and they boarded the plane as quickly as they could, all anxious to get the trip over with. As she settled into her seat next to Drake, she wrapped her arms tightly around herself. She was wearing one of Liamâs old hoodies, and even though the garment was far too large on her and hung off of her frame, it smelled like her husband and it was comforting. She opened up the novel she had been reading before all of this started and attempted to get back into the story as the plane took off.Â
About three hours into the flight Mia put down her book and glared in Coltâs direction. He had been annoyingly tapping his hand on his seatâs armrest for the past hour, and it had been driving her crazy.Â
âWill you knock that off,â she asked, causing him to sigh and stop his fidgeting.Â
âSorry,â he mumbled, beginning to instead play with the zipper on his jacket.Â
Mia let out a relieved breath and picked back up her novel. However, not even five minutes later Colt began zipping and unzipping his jacket repeatedly.Â
âOh my god, Colt!â she groaned angrily. âStop!â
âSorry!â he said in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest. âHow are you so calm about all of this?âÂ
Before Mia could open her mouth to respond, Drake did for her.Â
âSheâs not. Sheâs been reading the same page for the past hour,â he said from his spot next to her.Â
Mia now glared over at him instead.
âIâm calm! Iâm always calm!â she said defensively, causing both men to scoff.
âBhatt, youâre one of the most anxious people Iâve ever met,â Drake said, causing her to pinch his arm in protest.Â
âIâm not that bad!â she exclaimed looking over to Colt for help.Â
However he simply raised his eyebrows at her in amusement.Â
âOkay, fine. Iâm an anxious person,â she said leaning back in her seat with a huff. âBut, I could be worse!âÂ
Colt opened his mouth to respond to that statement, and she glared over in his direction.
âDonât!â she warned.
Colt raised his arms in mock surrender but kept a smug smirk on his face and Drake mirrored his expression.Â
âYou guys arenât supposed to gang up on me,â she grumbled out under her breath.Â
âBut, you make it so easy,â Drake said, causing her to pinch his arm again.Â
âOw! Stop pinching me!â he said, angrily swatting her hand away.Â
âStop pissing me off!â she shot back.Â
âFine! Okay! Iâm sorry for saying that you were an anxious person,â he said, although she could tell he didnât mean it.Â
Mia, however, dropped the topic and settled back into her seat. She snuggled herself into Liamâs sweatshirt, the light conversation and the smell of his cologne lulling her into a relaxed state for the first time in days. She wished Liam was there with her. He had been more understanding and comforting than she could have ever imagined since everything had happened, and she was so grateful for him. However, if he couldnât be here with her she was glad that Drake and Colt both were. Her tiredness from lack of sleep the past few days was finally starting to catch up with her, and she rested her head on Drakeâs shoulder and fell into a dreamless sleep.
~~~
The rest of the flight passed by with no more activity and after a few more hours they touched down in Indianapolis. It was already dark out by the time they landed, and they still had a few hours drive to get to Gary, Indiana. Despite the ever present tiredness she had been feeling recently, Mia slipped behind the wheel of the rental car, needing to be in the driverâs seat to keep her mind at ease and quell her anxiety. Drake was stretched out in the back seat, falling in and out of sleep, while Colt sat in the passenger seat beside her. She could see the tiredness in his eyes, but he showed no sign of actually getting any rest.
âYou might as well get some sleep too. By the time we get to Gary itâll be three in the morning, and we wonât be able to go to the post office anyway,â she said, glancing over in his direction.
âI canât,â he said simply.Â
Mia nodded her head and turned back to face the road once again.Â
âDo you think youâll ever be able to forgive him?â Colt asked, causing Mia to immediately remember when Ellie had asked her the same question about Colt himself.Â
Her answer had been very different then because she could see things going back to normal with Colt, but she couldnât fathom the idea of pretending that nothing had changed with Kaneko.Â
âI want to say no, but I honestly donât know. I know it sounds fucked up, but a part of me still has this hope that Iâll finally be able to experience a healthy father daughter relationship. But, when I think more about it, I realize that thereâs nothing healthy about it. He didnât only hurt me either. He hurt Liam, he hurt the entire country. I donât know how I feel about him. Growing up I had this really warped perception of him. I knew that he wasnât a good person, but he always seemed like he was being a good person in how he treated me. But, now itâs like I can finally look at the bigger picture, and I can see all the terrible things that heâs done for what they really are. But, despite all of that⊠I miss him. Iâve missed him for years. Itâs like I donât know how to make up my mind about what I feel about him. Do you think you can forgive him?âÂ
Colt remained silent and stared out the window for a few moments.Â
âI donât have anything to forgive him for,â he finally said, his face completely devoid of emotion.
Mia scoffed and fought the urge to roll her eyes.
âAre you kidding? If I were you Iâd be pissed at him,â she said incredulously.Â
âYeah, but Iâm not as overly emotional as you,â Colt said.
âOh, please! Being upset with him for being a terrible father and then faking his death doesnât make me overly emotional. It makes me normal. Did you ever stop to think that maybe itâs okay for you to actually show your emotions?â she asked almost sarcastically.Â
Colt didnât say anything, but she could tell that he was somewhat troubled by all of this.Â
âCâmon, Colt. Itâs me. Be honest,â she said softly, trying to make her voice sound as comforting as possible.Â
âPull over,â Colt instrunced with a sigh.
âWhat?âÂ
âPull over,â he said again.Â
Mia did as he said and he unbuckled his seatbelt and motioned for her to do the same. They both got out of the car and switched seats, Colt getting behind the wheel and taking off down the road once again. Mia pulled her feet up underneath her and sat staring out the window, waiting for him to start speaking. Â
She knew what this was now. They had done this a million times when they were teenagers. The only way Mia could get Colt to open up was by going on a drive with him. Getting behind the wheel allowed him to talk about his feelings without having to look at her face because he needed to look at the road in front of him instead.Â
âI just need to know that heâs alive. I need to know that heâs okay. It was easier to be mad at him when he was dead because that meant I never had to face him again. But, now that heâs alive all I can feel is relief. He can help us fix this. He can help us fix everything,â he said.
âColt, you have to know that isnât true,â Mia said, practically begging him to see that. âYour dad canât fix this. His way of fixing things was faking his own death and disappearing so that he didnât have to deal with it anymore. The only way to stop worrying about it all, to stop looking over your shoulder, and to move forward is to come clean.â
âSo what, you want me to turn myself into the cops and spend the rest of my life in jail?â he asked, looking at her like she was crazy.Â
âI donât know! I donât know, but I know that you wonât ever be able to relax until you donât have to worry about the police popping up at every turn you make,â she said.
The rest of the drive passed by in silence and Colt parked the car in front of a cheap motel, going inside to rent a room while Mia exited the car and went to the back to wake Drake.Â
The small room they were staying in had two beds, one bathroom, and a round table right underneath the window that overlooked the parking lot. Mia had stayed in places much more glamorous, but she had also stayed in places worse. She went to the bathroom to freshen up, taking a quick shower to wash away the sweat and tiredness she felt from travelling only to find Drake curled up asleep on one of the motel beds with Colt dozing in and out of sleep on the other when she got out.Â
It was the middle of the night, or early morning, but Mia couldnât find it in herself to go to sleep. She settled into the bed next to Drake, staring up at the ceiling. She couldnât stop her mind from reeling. She felt so close to finding out where Kaneko was. She wasnât sure where things would go when they finally found him, what would happen next. Her mind continued to go through the what ifs until she finally fell into a restless sleep.Â
Mia tugged harshly on the hair tie around her wrist as she waited impatiently for Colt to open the P.O. box. She sucked in a deep breath as it opened to reveal⊠nothing. A sigh escaped her lips, and she felt like she was about to crash as she finally came down from the high she had been on at the thought of finding him the past thirty-eight hours. Her hand curled around Coltâs wrist before slipping into his hand, squeezing it tightly. His shoulders were slumped over and a look of pure disappointment was on his face.Â
Mia had never considered the fact that there may not be anything in the P.O. box. She had just assumed that since Kaneko had sent the first clue there, he would continue doing the same thing. She made this entire trip built purely on the thought that he would. Now they were back to nothing. They had no other leads. Nothing else to go on.Â
Colt roughly slammed the box closed and turned on his heels, pulling Mia outside and to the car where Drake was waiting for them.
âWhat is it? What happened?â he asked at the agitated look on both of their faces.Â
âThere was nothing. No note, no indication of where he is. Nothing,â she said, fighting back the urge to start crying.
She had no idea why she was so sad. Surely, deep down she knew that there was a chance of this happening. But, knowing that didnât do anything to help the feeling of disappointment that was overwhelming her. Drake drove them back to the motel and the three of them exited the car, the frustration coming off them in waves. Mia opened the door to the motel room, letting out a loud gasp of shock as Drake instinctively grabbed onto her and pulled her behind him, shielding her from the figure that was looming in the corner of the room.
#the royal romance#the royal heir#trr#trh#ride or die#ride or die: a bad boy romance#rod#rod:abbr#liam x mc#liam#king liam#colt x mc#colt kaneko#logan x mc#logan#rod logan#my fics#choices#playchoices#playchoices fic
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Eres Mia (M)
Messy Chapter 8
Pairing(s): OC X Johnny
Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Angst, Smut, a smidge of fluff/awkwardness
Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.
Warnings: mentions of drugs/alcohol, talks about suicide, the teeeeniest bit of violence, possibility of emotional manipulation, jealousy/possessiveness
Features: unprotected sex, creampies, rough fingering/finger sucking, oral/throat fucking, a little hint of bondage, rough hair grabbing, squirting, overstretching/gaping, daddy/princess dynamics, choking, relentless/brutal/deep thrusting, a bit of overstimulation/multiple orgasms, also being covered in cum
Word Count: 21,103K
A/N: So explanation about this chapter: It has some cultural references that maybe not everyone will get but I can explain them if anyone wants to send me a question about it. If you havenât figured it out (or even just made a generalization) Eri is afro-carribean (the exact island is left vague on purpose, but it would be in the latinx part of the cluster). Thereâs also spanish in the chapter and tbh use google translate and if you still have problems again just message me.
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The Boys Group Chat
Taeyong: 5
Lucas: what???
Ten: 5 what?
Taeyong: my score with Eri is at 5.
Lucas: HOLY FUCK
Taeil: OHHH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED.
Ten: how?? When??? What???!
Taeyong: last night. Shower. Against the wall. In the bed twice. And our usual against the door.
Lucas: how tf did u manage that??
Lucas: i thought you hated her
Taeyong: i never hated her. It was just the drama and shit
Taeyong: like at the party i just didnât want a fight to break out. i didnât want the cops called or anything
Taeyong: so like i kicked her out but it was just because i knew she would have thrown the first punch
Lucas: well you arenât really wrong
Lucas: i donât blame you for not wanting the cops to show up
Taeyong: i had under 21 friends there. I didnât want them to get in trouble
Ten: how did you even manage to get her to fuck you???
Taeyong: she called me actually. She was drunk af but sobered up before she got here
Ten: i cannot believe
Ten: i havenât even been able to get with her AT ALL lately
Johnny: wtf is going on
Taeil: oooooooffff this isâŠ.
Ten: the tea brews itself
Johnny: Taeyong what did you say
Taeyong: i fucked your girl. She came to me instead of coming to you
Yuta: dude this isâŠ
Johnny: donât go near her again
Johnny: i mean it
Taeyong: dude iâm not scared of you
Taeyong: yall arent even official
Johnny: i donât care
Johnny: dont touch her
Yuta: johnny quit it
Yuta: you canât hog her to yourself
Yuta: just like jae canât hog quinn
Ten: just admit ur jealous and move on.
Johnny: im not jealous
Johnny: you just dont deserve her after the stunt you pulled at the party
Taeyong: clearly i do because shes been thinking about fucking me for a long time
Taeyong: maybe even while shes been fucking you.
(Johnny has left the chat)
Ten: fuck
Yuta: this is getting fucking ridiculous
Yuta: i mean she texted me like when she was with him i think
Yuta: like she didnt care that she was with him and was being cute with me
Lucas: she flirts with everyone
Lucas: do you think she does actually wanna be with him?
Taeyong: who cares
Taeyong: fact of the matter is shes up for grabs
Taeyong: and if I wanna go after her i will
Yuta: WHOA WHOA
Yuta: you mean try and date her?
Ten: taeyong thats not a good idea
Taeyong: i never said id date her
Taeyong: but if shit happens, shit happens
Taeyong: thats all im saying
â
It was strange waking up in bed next to Taeyong. We had never done that before especially since the last time we were together we had to leave the office quickly. He looked strangely innocent when he slept, his shaggy hair ruffled and sticking up in random places and lips slightly pouted. I watched his chest rise and fall with each soft breath for a moment while I tried to keep my head from spinning. ThisâŠmight have been a bad idea. I was in my feelings for Johnny and I knew that I only hooked up with Taeyong as a sort of rebound/revenge plot. I didnât want to tell him that but I was sure we were still platonic enough that it didnât matter. Taeyong wouldnât make things weird or messy. This would just be a one time thingâŠor a five time thing. We may have gotten a bit carried away. He was tentative in the shower, making sure that I was still sober enough to be okay. He washed me, helped me wash my hair, and let the heated water run over me to warm me up. And when he slid down to wash my legs his lips met between my thighs and I couldnât help but give in to his tongue.
He was no Taeil but he knew enough to make me try and steady myself against the slippery tile and grip onto his hair tightly. It was relaxing to finally get off by being eaten out, to just sit back and let him do all the work. It was definitely something I missed. After the shower, we dried off and he put me into some of his pjs (which were tight as all hell on me) and we relaxed in his bed. I got some more water in me and slowly weaned off the rest of the alcohol. Somewhere in the middle of trying to sleep we got lost in each otherâs lips which somehow lead to him keeping me against his bedroom wall and fucking me as deep as he could go. Mid morning came and we didnât want to get up. So of course the next option was to 69 then fuck me into the mattress. Just when I thought I would finally be able to leave he wouldnât stop kissing me as I got to his bedroom door and we had a proper deja vu moment of last semester.
By the time I actually got home it was late at night and I was sore as all hell. I left him covered in hickies, scratches, and bite marks- my typical calling card- and he left me wanting to sleep for days. I collapsed on my bed unmoving for hours on end and barely making it to class the next day. Johnny was there of course and I tried my best to avoid him like the plague. That was always the hardest part. When we were on our highs, being next to each other radiated chemistry and we would rather pass the time sexting than paying attention. When we were on our lows, everything was ice cold and I detested even being within his vicinity. He still wouldnât open up to me or even let me tell him that it was okay to cry. He didnât need to worry about that with me. Of course he wouldnât listen and we were stuck in a frozen tundra that didnât let us move one way or the other. I tried my best to instead focus on studying for once. My grades were alright but they could definitely be better and I didnât want to have to waste more money repeating classes. I spent my nights hitting the books and hoping I could retain enough information to pass. I was holed up in my room as usual when I heard knocking on the front door and i wondered if maybe Quinn forgot their keys. It seemed a little early for them to come home from being with Jae. I set my textbook down onto my desk and padded towards the living room. When I opened the door I hated what I saw.
His eyes were bright red and he reeked of menthol and weed. He leaned against the door frame, a big grin on his face that happiness didnât seem to be the cause of. âWhat are you doing here?â I whispered in disbelief.
âWhat am i doing here?â He licked his lips and chuckled. âWhat are you doing fucking Taeyong?â
My eyes went wide. âDid heâŠdid he tell you?â
âHe told everyone in our chat. 5 times, huh? That a record or something?â
I backed away from him hating how he was acting and being hurt that what I did was blasted over some group chat. I couldnât believe Taeyong would do something like that. I had stated plenty of times who i had hooked up with but it was on my terms, with my permission, not like gossiping around a watering hole. âYou need to leave.â I swallowed hard and didnât look at him. My voice was too unsteady for that.
I heard the door snap shut and looked up to find him looming over me. âNot a chance. Not until I make you forget all about that stupid bastard.â
He grabbed onto my sweater and pulled me towards him, easily overpowering me to crash his lips against mine. I clawed at his coat, digging into the soft fabric as I tried forcing myself away. I slammed the side of my fist into his chest and pushed him back. âNO! You donât get to do this! You donât get to come back into my life whenever you decide to! Iâm not something to have at your convenience and I sure as hell donât need you to keep leading me on.â
âLeading you on? Where am I leading you too?â His hands still had a hold of my neck and shoulders which I could not shake.
I could feel the tears already trying to come forth but i grounded myself, dug deep within me to stop them. âLeading me to you. I always get led back to you.â
âYou donât want to get led back to me.â He laughed. âIâm fuckinâ useless!â
I grabbed at his hands, wanting them off me. âStop that! Iâm not your fucking therapy and my purpose is not to fix you.â
âI donât want to be fixed! I want to be fucked!â
âAnd thatâs another layer to your goddamn problem, Johnny! Life isnât all about diving into sex to make yourself forget! You need to reevaluate whatâs going on in your life before you put your hands on someone elseâs.â
âI donât want you to have Taeyong on you.â He kissed me, gentler this time. âOr Lucas.â Another kiss. âOr Taeil.â A small lick. âOr Yuta.â He sucked on my bottom lip for a second before kissing me again. âOr anyone else.â
âYou cant have me all to yourself. That isnât how this works. You donât want me, you only want what you see on the surface. You donât give a shit about whatâs beneath and you definitely donât want to see it.â
He released me from his grasp and scoffed. âThe surface? Iâve let you dig inside my brain more than anyone else in my life. Youâre stuck inside there now, you canât move. You know how sick iâve felt, how weak i am, how less of a man i am-â
âSave that bullshit, Johnny! Itâs not true! I told you it was okay to cry! It doesnât mean youâre less of a man! It just means youâre a normal human being. Men can cry. Men can show emotion and they should. I just wanted to helpâŠto be there for you.â
âYouâre wrong. Iâve always had to be the man. There wasnât any room for me to cry!â He screamed. âYou want to talk about not wanting whatâs beneath the surface? Youâre already there, Eri. Youâve seen everything I could possibly hate to show anyone.â
âAnd yet youâre coming to me just so you can be buried inside something for an hour or two. Thatâs what itâs actually like to feel useless and discarded. I know you donât fucking care and you never will.â
âThis is starting to get messyâŠitâs a clusterfuck and it keeps growing.â
âYou just keep fueling the fire.â I said. âIâm not going back. I canât. My heart canât take it. I hate seeing you like this. I hate hearing you like this and I want to help. I really do. But i can only take so much before you start swallowing me whole.â
He grabbed me again, pressing me against the door and trapping me between it and his body. âThis is how you help.â His breath was heavy against my neck, tickling the sensitive skin there. I shuddered and failed to squirm away from him. âI know youâre not going to fix me. I can do that on my own, eventually, but right here, right now this is what I want.â
âWell i donât.â The tears fell and i slammed my fist back against the door, pissed entirely that it was happening again. I shouldnât be crying over him anymore. âI donât want to be what you push inside of. You donât want to know whatâs really going on with me. Youâd run away from me as much as I want to run from you.â
âYou think iâd be scared of what youâve done? What youâve been through? Its nothing, Eri.â He grabbed my chin and and jerked my head to the side so he could growl in my ear. âI want you. Raw. Dirty.â
âYou want me black out drunk? You want me with a broken hand through drywall? You want me bleeding out in a tub with a knife in my hand? You want me laying on the floor unable to breathe and falling in and out of consciousness? You want me running away from the one good thing iâve ever had in my life?â My voice trembled again. âYou want me hiding who i really am from my family? You want me watching myself be the cause of peopleâs hurt? Because thatâs whatâs really raw and dirty. Or do you just want to fuck as always?â
He hoisted me onto his waist suddenly, crushing me now to the point where i could barely breathe. I wrapped my legs around his as he shoved his forehead against mine. âGive me it. Give me all of it, Eri.â
I tried not to kiss him, i really did, but my heart shoved me towards it. My tongue slid out to creep into his mouth which he warmly accepted. It was angry, heated, rushed, and broken- like the entirety of our relationship. I was clutching onto him desperately as if I was trying to shock my system back into loathing him. It didnât matter if I made drunken mistakes or if he made drugged out ones, every time, we somehow found a way back to each other as if we were tied with a string of fate. âWhy?â I whispered when I finally caught my breath. âWhy donât you talk to me? For weeks at a timeâŠit hurtsâŠâ
âBecause i hate the way I feel about you.â He panted.
I licked my lips and hovered them over his. âHow do you feel about me?â
He shook his head. âIâŠdonât worry about it. Iâm faded as fuck right now. It wonât matter what I say.â
âClearly it fucking does.â
âItâs only gonna get more fucked up between us.â
âIt already is fucked up! Were fucked up! This whole shit is fucked up! We were supposed to hook up at the summer party and thatâs it!!â
âYeah and here you are fucking Taeyong and Yuta and whoever else youâd let inside you.â
I slapped him. The first time iâd ever wanted to hit him at all. I wouldâve never laid a hand on him especially after all he had been through- i never wanted to be that person. Ever. But he crossed a fucking line and that small dangerous part of my brain was a ticking time bomb. He dropped me then and I fell right on my ass. I scrambled to get up as he stood there motionless.
âDontâŠdont ever do that.â He whispered harshly.
âI didnât want to! But donât you ever come for who I sleep with! You donât get to do that! You donât get to be a hypocrite because youâre fucking jealous! What are you even jealous for? Iâm not your girlfriend!â
âAND YOU NEVER WILL BE!â
I felt a stab of pain through my chest that hurt worse than anything I had ever felt before. Was thisâŠwas this what Jungwoo felt? Had karma finally come to get me and pay me back for what I did to him all those years ago? It felt like I couldnât breathe but I could definitely feel the tears flowing down my cheeks like a river. His eyes went wide and he took a step towards me. I took one back before sprinting to my room. I slammed the door shut, pressing myself against it and sliding to the floor.
He pounded his fists against it, begging me to open it. I was afraid he was going to break through the wood with how hard he was rattling the door. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in my thighs, staining my pajamas pants with tears.
âI-im sorry, ok?â
No youâre not.
âI didnât mean for it to be like this.â
Well it is now, so fuck you.
âI donât know what I really want, Eri.â
I guessâŠi donât really know either. Should you even be my boyfriend at this point? What would I do once I had you? Would my fear of love go away? Or would you make it worse?
âI like when we spend time together. Youâre cool as fuck but weâŠwe cant be like that. You know that right? I donât get with people and stay with them. We can only fuckâŠâ
I hate you. Go away. Leave me alone.
âI guess iâm broken or whatever you want to call it but iâm not a charity case. I donât want you to pity me or feel like you have to take care of me. Like you said, itâs not your job. But for right nowâŠthis is how I handle stuff, just like how you handle stuff your way, you know?â
By being a drunk partied out mess, i know. Hungry for attention, starving for someone to care for them, and completely barren of love but wanting to fill that void somehow.
âIâm not fine. I havenât been fine for a long time. My anxiety never used to be this bad. I never even used to have night terrors or panic attacks. It just got worse afterâŠafter the first time i gotâŠyou know, what I told you about before. Then college happened and it was so much pressure and I wanted to make my mom proud and happy and take care of her because my dad never did. You know even when i felt so fucking empty around Rixi, i didnât sleep for 2 whole days because I was studying my ass off for midterms just to keep my straight Aâs?â He let out a soft chuckle. âI have a 4.0, hookup with dozens of girls, work three jobs, go to the gym, and try and do my art. When i say that i run on energy drinks and coffee iâm not kidding.â
Thatâs adding to your anxiety, stupid. And so is the weed. And your inability to FUCKING communicate. Why do you have to be such a stupid dumbâŠ.MAN all the time?!
âI know that doesnât matter to you-â
It does because I know youâre hardworking and care about what you do. Youâre a passionate soul and i love that about you. Youâre so dedicated.
âBut i dont knowâŠi guess I wanted to tell you anyway. Iâm not making excuses. I know what I do is my own damn fault but i just wanted you to know.â
I shifted slightly and reached up for the door handle, scooting away to pull it open slightly. I peeked my head through the gap and he looked at me, eyes a bit puffy as if he had been crying too. He wiped his nose and made it seem like he was put together in his typical Johnny fashion. I still didnât say anything but he crept his hand closer to me and extended his pinky. I looked at it for a few seconds before locking mine around it. He was quiet for a bit, the tension remaining thick and heavy. The quietness was only interrupted by a few sniffles from the both of us. I wiped away at my tears, wanting to remind myself that this was proof. This was what always happened. Either i ended up drunk or ended up crying when it came to him. Or both for that matter.
I truly felt like i should continue to make myself suffer with him. One look of those soft brown eyes and honey-sweet lips would draw me in and his soothing voice would whisper caring thoughts and expressions. I saw the blushes he had when he talked to me, the way he seemed embarrassed or nervous, but there were always underlying signs that proved he didnât like me. Most blatantly when he said-no, yelled- that i would never be his girlfriend. Logic told me to run. When had i ever put a man before me or anyone for that matter? Masochism told me that I enjoyed the pain of being rejected over and over again and that it was a game. Lust told me that i loved when he got jealous and growled in my ear. I wanted him to tell me that I was his as he fucked me so deep and hard that I couldnât move. Greed told me that I wanted him all to myself. I wanted all the attention, all the love, all of him. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And rationality? That bitch was nowhere to be found.
âWhat saved youâŠwhen you tried to umâŠkill yourself?â
My head snapped up at the question. It hadnât been posed to me since I met Quinn three years ago. It was something that I blocked from my brain and never reopened. But this was a test, to see if he could really handle what was fucking wrong with me. I squeezed his pinky tighter and finally croaked. âDaniella. Sheâs uhâŠsheâs my little sister. I traumatized a 10 year old by bleeding out in a bathtub and she called the police and my mom. She tried to stop the bleeding. She cried but she kept pushing through. She wasâŠ.so mature in that moment. More than I had ever been. She wanted to be there when they admitted me. My mom didnât believe what was going on- more so in a sense that she didnât want to believe that her kid was sick. Just like she didnât want to believe I was gay at first. Eventually, she saw past it. She saw how much I needed her and how much we didnât want to lose each other. But yeahâŠthat wasâŠit was Dani.â
âYou know, her Quinceanera is in a week and I canât believe sheâs already 15. Itâs weird how time fliesâŠhow I canât exactly remember it all.â I continued.
âAre you going? To the party i mean.â He asked.
I nodded. âI have to. Iâm like in theâŠso itâs basically almost like a bridal party. Itâs real weird. But they pair us up and we walk down an aisle and Dani will come out with her big poofy dress and everyone will look at her and sing âLas Mañanitasâ blah blah blah. Itâs a precursor wedding and weird tradition I hated. So i never had one. And now, mom gets to put all her spite of her not having one and me not having one into an over the top expensive party for Dani, but you knowâŠdonât help me with my student loans or anything.â
âOhâŠsounds like aâŠjourney.â I let out a small laugh and he crept closer towards the gap. I opened the door a little bit more. âIt was my mom for me.â
âWhat?â I whispered.
âI was ready to jump off my school building after I got with her. I would see her everywhere on my social media and around town. I had to hide everything about how she made me feel and I felt like I just couldnât deal with it anymore. I sat on the ledge for a long time, thinking about it and staring at the ground. Just as I decided I was going to jump, I got a text from my mom. It said âhi honey, hope you have a great day at school! I love you a lot.ââ He rubbed at his eyes and looked away from me. âI still have it saved on my phone- transferred over each time I got a different one. I look at it sometimes when i feel like utter shit. Then I call her.â He sighed deeply and I pulled him closer to me, the door falling open wider. âHave I ever told you thank you?â
âW-what?â I asked, stunned.
âThank you. For being there for me. When shit hit the fan basically. You and Jae pretty much helped me through a lot. Is that likeâŠa part of working through this? Admitting when youâve been helped?â
I nodded. âItâs a startâŠâ
He got even closer and kissed me, our pinkies tightening and lips slow and steady. My will was wavering and I was kicking myself again. It never failed. I pulled away and turned my head away from his. He sighed and kissed my cheek. âIâm sorry.â
âSorry doesnât make up for a lot of things, Johnny.â
âI know, princess. I know.â
âNo, you donât get to say that word to me anymore. That part is done. Itâs only for people who know how to communicate.â
âOkâŠâ he said simply.
I let go of his hand and moved away from the door. He came through fully, sitting beside me now and set his arm around my waist. He kissed my temple then rested his chin on my shoulder. We stood quiet for a moment, trying to process everything. Nothing had gotten better at all. Everything was more confusing and more painful. I didnât feel good and I didnât want him here but at the same time I did. I looked over at his sad eyes, knowing he was truly sorry but still cementing the fact that I would never be his. Hurting was all I was good for and I accepted the karmic punishment.
I grabbed onto his shoulders and his eyes drew themselves to me. I laid nothing but whispers against his lips drawing him in to press himself against me and steal my breath away in a kiss. Gradually, our clothes began disappearing until we were naked in my bed, hands between each others thighs, stroking and thrusting until we were dirty with each otherâs release. He didnât let me go instead opting to grab my hips and keep me flush against me. âI want me on you. Not any of those assholes.â
âIâm not yoursâŠâ
âTonight you are.â He dug his blunt nails into my hips and sunk his teeth into the base of my neck. It hurt with how hard he was biting down but I knew what he was doing; marking me so that whoever i was with next could see the deep bruise he was trying to leave behind. I clawed at his shoulders, whimpering pathetically and about to beg him to stop but he pulled away, pressing softer kisses to the deep marks instead. I shoved his head away seeing the playful smirk he had on his face.
âAssâŠâ
âYou want a bite mark on your ass too?â he asked coyly.
I rolled my eyes and commanded him to get a towel to clean up the mess he made on my stomach. He gave me another kiss before scooting off the bed and heading towards my door. For a moment I thought I imagined it and had to blink twice but i saw him licking his fingers- the same ones that were inside me just a minute ago. He had never done that. Usually heâd wipe them on my sheets or something. I laid back and closed my eyes, tossing away any ideas of what that meant. I felt him on the bed again, gently wiping away his cum off my skin before laying himself between my thighs, his head on my chest. That also surprised me and i wished I knew what the fuck was going on in his head. Was it from all the weed? I didnât really know how much he smoked before he got here. It couldâve been what helped set off his emotions and express his jealousy about Taeyong.
I wanted to pry at his stupid decisions and actions some more but I was slowly running out of energy to deal with arguing, anxiety, and my mood swings in such a short amount of time. I decided to lay in my self hatred with Johnny on top of me, our breaths flowing together into an easier rhythm. I closed my eyes and set my hand on his head. âPet my hair.â He grumbled.
âYou think that a half fuck is going to solve this?â I said, ignoring his request.
âNo. Weâre doing what we do best, hurting each other.â
âBut why does it have to be like this?â
âBecause itâs just who we are, Eri. Itâs what we do. Itâs how we function together. You want to call it off?â
âCall what off?â
âBeing fuck buddies.â Yes was what I should have said. Instead, I shook my head and kept my eyes away from him. âGoodâŠBecause I donât want to stop fucking you.â
âI donât eitherâŠâ I said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair now, pushing it back and feeling his sides that were grown out. "Remember when you asked me to feel alive?â
He nodded.
âDo that for me. Maybe me feel like I donât fucking hate you for what youâve done. Like i donât want you more than I need to.â
He stilled against me and didnât say anything. I could feel him looking at me and when I finally had the courage to meet his eyes I saw that he seemed to be hurt by my confession. Eventually, he mumbled a response. âI donât want you to hate me.â
"Mostly i hate myself.â I hate myself for loving you.
âDont, babyâŠâ He turned my face towards his to continue our kiss. âYou donât need to hate yourself.â
âJust shut up, Johnny. Fuck me already.â
âFine.â He growled and gave quick bites over my breast making me arch against him. I hissed slowly, gripping onto his shoulders and digging my nails into his skin. He morphed his bites into kisses, working to gather my nipple in his mouth to suck slowly but hungrily. Eventually, his kisses got even lower as he discarded my breasts in favor of moving down to the softness of my stomach. A little nibble beneath my rib cage jerked my body towards his mouth, edging my hips into eager swivels. I parted my lips to let out a sweet sigh and a small plead for him to keep going. His tongue dipped into my belly button, making me squirm against the wet heat. I inched my hands back to his hair to return him to my lips and stop his teasing but he had other plans. His hands suddenly came crashing down on my wrists, pinning them to the bed and practically crushing them. I winced at the pain and asked him to ease up but he only snapped at me.
âShut up and donât touch me, got it?â
âW-what are you doing?â I asked, nervously.
âShut. Up.â
I squeezed my eyes shut tight, swallowing hard and full of worry more than sensuality. I tried taking deep breaths but I felt like I was getting more nervous. Johnny was quiet as ever but I could feel his breath tickling against my sensitivity. I licked the dryness from my lips and just as I was about to try and pull away from his hands I felt it. It was small and gentle, just the tip of his tongue working over my clit. My entire body tensed and I remained frozen in place. I feared scaring him, or worse, triggering him. We retreated into minutes of silence that made my heart race with worry. âJ-Johnny? A-are you-?â
There were butterfly kisses to my clit before his tongue reached out once again. It covered the entirety of my lower lips, pressing a slick heat over me and gathering the cum left behind from his fingering to trail it back to my clit. He trapped the bit of nerves between his lips, suckling lightly. I knew he was being cautious due to nervousness and unease but it was also amazingly tender and sweet. I dug my teeth into my bottom lip and let out a moan hoping that he would take it as praise and a sign to continue. There was another long pause and my fingers curled in anticipation for more but there was nothing. I opened my eyes and looked down at him.
He was stationary, his eyes glancing over my center and lips trembling. The grip on my wrists got tighter, too tight for even my own liking. âJohnnyâŠyou need to let me go.â I said softly.
âNo. I-i cantâŠâ
âYou can stop now, itâs ok but youâre hurting me. Come up here. Come kiss me, baby.â He looked defeated but saw the pain in my face and finally let my wrists go. I didnât immediately shake out the numbing feeling and instead waited for him to crawl back up my torso. I held onto him as tight as I could, covering his lips, cheeks, neck in excited pecks. He did it. With me. It wasnât complete or full or satisfying by any means but it meant so much. âYou did so good, baby boy. So, so good.â I cooed.
He hid in my neck and whispered, âIâm sorry.â
I shook my head quickly. âDonât be. It was good. A great start, ok?â
âI wanted to tryâŠa little at least so you donât feel like i did when we fucked in the bathroom at the party. You shouldnât want to feel alive with me because youâre numb. I donât want that at all.â
âI just wanna feel good is allâŠâ I held onto him tighter. âI donât want to feel like iâm going to be thrown away.â
âI-i wontâŠâ He swiftly slipped out of the bed and returned with a condom on. He whispered as he pulled my legs around him, pressing himself at my entrance. âI wontâŠâ
âBut you canât promise that.â I swallowed hard and felt him sink into me inch by inch. The rest of my thoughts were voided by the methodical pace of him stretching me open. He ignored what I had said and instead focused on kissing everywhere he could reach as he thrusted slowly. My hands traced the length of his spine, resting in the center of his back and keeping him close. Inside my head I pleaded for him to not go slow, to not be intimate and stir up more dreadful feelings inside the pit of my stomach. Please just fuck me so I can be reminded of how shitty you are. Donât remind me of how cute and caring you can be. Iâm begging you Johnny.
I knew he couldnât hear me so of course he didnât stop rolling his hips to have his cock hit every space within me. He was panting softly, gentle moans mixing in every once in awhile. They sounded so precious and I couldnât help but bury myself in his lips again. His hand pulled mine away from his back just so our fingers could intertwine. Nonono, stop that. For the love of god donât do this to me.
He squeezed my hand tight and I felt my tears resurface. This is what scared me the most. Not him leaving or him ignoring me or throwing me away. This Johnny, the human, sentimental, emotional man that could have me fall into his arms (and bed) at the snap of his fingers. I was helpless against him and I just craved more and more torture. He kissed away my tears and nudged our foreheads together. âHeyâŠitâs okay.â He breathed.
It is not okay. It will never be ok. But he took care of me, stilling every so often to regain his composure as i could feel him throbbing and ready for another release. Worst of all was that I wanted him too. I wanted him to feel good, another hurtful self sacrifice because I cared so much about him. I gave him a soft plea to cum for me, which he took instantly. His free hand slipped between us, his thumb pressing small acts of pleasure into my clit as his other hand never left mine. He only squeezed my fingers tighter while my walls squeezed him the same way. Just at the very end his hips made quicker snaps, hitting the back of my thighs and making my back arch from the mattress. And in one fell breath i felt my stomach heat up and the most comforting sensation flowing within me.
My cheeks flushed as I had never felt anything like it before and wondered what the hell did he do differently. Maybe it was because i was so damn love drunk that it made everything seem better when i was with him. It wasnât until he jerked out of me so harshly that I snapped my thighs shut. âO-ow! Johnny, what the-â
âThe condom broke.â He trembled.
âExcuse me?â I couldnât believe what I had heard.
âEri. The fucking condom broke.â
I looked down and could see his cum flowing out of me and staining the bed sheets, while the rubber had a slight tear across the tip. Our eyes met and panic slammed into me at full speed. âO-oh my fucking god. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god.â
âYouâre on birth control right?â His voice was an octave or two higher.
âWell no shit! But it doesnât magically mean itâs 100% full proof! People still get pregnant while on birth control.â
âIâM FULLY AWARE OF THAT ERI.â
âDONâT YELL AT ME.â
âIâM SORRY I JUSTâŠâ I noticed him staring at me which made me more uncomfortable.
âWhat? What else is wrong?â He shrugged but continued to stare. âJohnny. What is it?!â
âNothing! Itâs justâŠi mean-â
âOh, you asshole!!â I flung my pillow straight at his face. âIâm literally fucking panicking and you think cumming inside me is hot!!â
âIâM SORRY!!! Iâve never done it before and it justâŠlooks good, ok?!â
âYou are the absolute worse and I CANNOT stand you!â I covered my face that was getting heated up by the second. How could he think about that while I was panicking? How could I think it felt good and perfect when i absolutely loathed cum (and was panicking)? We truly were fucking stupid.
âHey, weâll be ok. I know we will.â He said softly, reaching for my hand which i pulled away.
âEasy for you to say. You have the easy way out in case that happens.â I grumbled.
He kissed my forehead and laid beside me. âNo I donât, because I wouldnât leave.â
I turned away from him, shoving my face into the mattress as I felt his cum sticky between my thighs. âYeah rightâŠâ
âIâm seriousâŠ.iâm not gonna be like my dad.â
âAlright well, weâre gonna stop talking about this. Iâm gonna shower and you can go home so I can die in peace.â
âDonât be so dramatic. Youâre not gonna die. Itâs just cum.â
âIâm gay! All I am is dramatic!â I huffed as I felt all flustered now and wanted to get away from him. I stood up and cringed at the feeling of it sliding down my leg now. I awkwardly shuffled to pick up my already cum covered towel just to keep me decent enough to get to the bathroom.
âCan you stop saying that? Because iâm likeâŠnot a girl.â
I looked back at him. âWell no fucking shit, Johnny. Itâs just a blanket term because you wouldnât understand everything I identify as. Just roll with it. I donât have time to explain.â
I grabbed my phone and went to the bathroom, locking the door tight. I tossed off my towel and turned on the water, sitting in the tub under the spray so i could suffer in silence. Eventually i ended up plugging the drain so i could sit in hot water for a bit and try and calm my nerves. I tried calling Quinn but didnât get an answer, even texted them and still got nothing. They were still probably up Jaehyunâs ass or Taeil or someone else. I donât know. I dialed again and waited patiently.
âHello?â
âDoyoung, I need you please.â
âBe right there.â
He hung up as that was all he needed to know that something was wrong. I washed up, making sure to get as much of the cum out of me as possible, then rinsed and dried off. As i opened the bathroom door, Johnny was standing in the doorway, hand raised as he was going to knock. I glared at the lit blunt between his lips.
ââM leavinâ.â
âGood. Bye. I have someone else coming over.â
He scoffed. âWow. Okay. Fuck you too.â He turned away from me and headed towards my front door slamming it harshly behind him.
He made me so fucking irritated with his hot and cold bullshit. I trudged to my room and tossed my towel in the hamper, picking up my discarded pajamas and putting them back on. Around 15 or so minutes later Doyoung was in my room with an absolute cringey look on his face. âLook, iâm sorry but i needed someone to tell. You and Quinn are my closest friends and theyâre not here. Please DoyoungâŠi know itâs gross.â
âYou liked itâŠâ he whispered.
âPlease donât remind me. I hate myself completely.â
âWhy do you keep doing this, Eri? You are literally worth more than that.â
âI donât know! I wish I knew. I wish I could just leave him but I canât. Every time Iâm mad, he shows me that side of him that I absolutely love.â
âThatâs emotional manipulation.â
âIt is not!â I protested. âWellâŠuhâŠmaybe it is? But I donât think he would be doing it intentionally? Why would he? He can get with anyone. He has gotten with a lot of people. I donât think I would be any different. After all he blatantly said iâd never be his girlfriend.â
âAnd how did you feel about that?â
âI cried. Instantly. It hurt so fucking bad.â
âSo weâve come to the conclusion that a) heâs a fuckboy, b) he doesnât want to be with you, c) heâs emotionally manipulative, and d) he couldnât care less about what transpired tonight.â Doyoung gave me a shady look which made me shrink away like a scolded puppy.
âWell technically he said he would be there for me and then I kicked him out soâŠâ
âAnd now youâre sticking up for him?â
âIâm not! Iâm just stating facts. Doyoung, i know youâre totally and completely right. But i justâŠit feels weird. It feels different somehow.â
âIâm kind of sick of giving you advice and you ignoring it. It makes it seem like you donât even care what I say.â
âNo i do!â I grabbed onto his arm, sadly. âI do! i swear! Iâm just a fucking idiot. I like to fuck up everything and keep myself down.â
âWhy canât you see that there are better people for you? Even ones that are right in front of you?â
I rested my head on his shoulder and set my hand in his, squeezing tight. âDoyoung, how can IâŠhow can I stop when i love him?â
âItâs not easy to stop loving someone butâŠno offense- well a little offense because this is going to be hard to hear- you stopped loving Jungwoo because he loved you too much, you can stop loving Johnny because you love him too much too. You can run away and leave without giving him any explanation.â
I pulled away from Doyoung completely.
âIâm sorry for saying that and hurting you, but maybe itâs the kind of shit you need to snap out of it.â He pressed a kiss to my forehead. âAnd if youâre so worried about what might happen I can go to the pharmacy for you.â
âI-i just need time to thinkâŠâ i said quietly.
âWell, youâve got three days until itâs ineffective-or less effective or whatever. You can let me know ok?â
I nodded and felt him crush me to his chest. I held onto him for a long time, happy to feel a friends pure love rather than the tainted mess from my heart.
â
Johnnyâs POV
âFUCKING SHIT!â I threw the beer bottle I just finished against my wall, watching it shatter into pieces. What the actual fuck just happened between Eri and I? Tonight was fucked up- no, beyond fucked up to the point where I just ended up more confused and angry then I was before. I paced back and forth across my room while thoughts zoomed in my brain. I tried to break everything down and figure out what i could so I could attempt to get my mind straight.
I was pissed off at Taeyong. He was such a smug little fuck about hooking up with Eri, blasting it all over the chat. And why were they counting how many times they hooked up with her like it was some sort of game? I didnât want him anywhere near Eri. She was mi-. I stopped pacing for a moment. She wasnât mine. She is not yours Johnny. She is NOT yours.
My pacing resumed. He didnât deserve to touch her. And neither did those other assholes. I wanted her to myself. Sheâs mi-. As i grew close to the door i slammed my head against it, not too hard but enough to try and get it through my skull that Eri was not mine.
I had told her she would never be my girlfriend because I was angry. I knew it hurt her the second it came out of my mouth and I wished I couldâve taken it back. Our conversation was so back and forth she probably thought I was crazy. One minute I was mad, the other I wanted to be with her, comfort her, be inside her and make her feel good. I didnât want her to feel like shit because of me but I was failing horribly.
What even possessed me to touch her like that? So slow and gentle? It felt like I was having an out of body experience and I watched who I wanted to be for her come out and take over. It was what I wanted to give her for the longest time. Something more stable to hold onto rather than whatever the fuck I was now. But that didnât go over so well for my feelings. I was faded and more emotional than ever, a bad combination. I wanted to tell her what I felt for her but i donât even think iâm too sure myself. Feelings were there but what kind? Did I have a crush? I liked her? Wanted to keep being fuck buddies? Did I love her? My body shuddered at the thought. I had never been in love before so how could I know?
Iâve always wanted to be in love and have someone to care about. I knew familiar love and friendship love but not romantic love. I wanted to take my girlfriend to the beach, to Korea, to visit countries across the globe. Take pictures of us for vacation scrapbooks and eat everything we could ever dream of. Go hiking with her and hold her hand so she wouldnât trip on a branch and hurt herself. Laugh when we thought of a memory we had together or hold her as she cried. But i was also scared shitless of all of that. Could I even be that good of a person to her? I didnât want to end up being a carbon copy of my dad. Why would I want to be the cause of my loveâs suffering and leave them behind with a kid I didnât care about?
Fuck.
The stupid condom.
I tossed myself onto my bed and groaned. I was scared of that too. Iâm only 23 and work at a fucking coffee shop, what the hell was I gonna do with a kid? Iâm sure we were gonna be okay butâŠit still made me a little queasy. Except for the fact that I thought cumming inside her was fucking hot. I was a complete jackass for thinking about it at a time like that but I couldnât help it. Like me: worried to all hell and back about the condom breaking, also me: holy hell I want to do it again. I facepalmed myself and let out another frustrated groan. I was ready to just throw myself out a window rather than face my embarrassment and mistakes. Now Taeyong was probably going to be up her ass and I swear to god if he got with her I was personally going to go to his apartment and kick his ass.
I sat up and started taking off my clothes, figuring I could just sleep all this shit away and ignore it. I flung everything to a corner of my room and reached over to shut off my desk lamp. I noticed my little keychain that I had got at the bookstore resting on the desk. I picked it up and shut off the light before snuggling deep under the blankets. I kept the keychain close to me thinking of nothing but Eri as I went to sleep.
A week had passed since that weird half fight/half fuck between us and I was starting to get a taste of my own medicine. I hated not hearing from her and I found myself constantly checking my phone to see if by chance I missed anything. She hadnât even posted on any of her social media that I followed her on. Whenever I would hang out with the guys at lunch none of them talked about her, not even Lucas. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to keep myself busy with school work but found myself thinking of her more than I needed too. Sometimes those thoughts implanted little sinister buds of sinfully delicious fantasies and in the midst of being hurt and confused about where we stood I was jacking off to thoughts of her more than I needed too. It was multiple times a day, whenever I was at home and it was starting to get on my nerves. I shouldnât have been thinking about her like that when I was the cause of most of this mess but it couldnât be helped. I was a stupid slut and would rather focus on that then the pain I caused her. I was in the middle of rutting against my hand and mattress only a few seconds away from cumming when my phone beside my pillow lit up. The brightness in the darkness of my room distracted me and I look at the screen, ready to ignore the notification until I saw who it was from. I wiped my hand on my sheets and snatched my phone up, unlocking it and going to the message.
đŠBatOuttaHellđŠ: hey
I typed in my simple response quickly.
Hey
đŠBatOuttaHellđŠ: come over
FuckâŠdid she actually want to hook up?
What for babe?
đŠBatOuttaHellđŠ:  we need to talk.
đŠBatOuttaHellđŠ: asap
Talk about what?
đŠBatOuttaHellđŠ: come over and iâll tell u dumbass
đŠBatOuttaHellđŠ: I mean it
Give me like 15 mins. Im busy
đŠBatOuttaHellđŠ: fine but dont keep me waiting.
I bit my lip and set my phone aside. It made me nervous to think about what she wanted to talk with me about. A small part of me was hoping that I could still get laid and have amazing makeup sex. But firstâŠ
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Eriâs POV
I hated that I had to do this. With every fiber in my entire being. It was definitely up there with one of the worst decisions I would have to make. I didnât want to talk to him or even make him think that I had forgiven him. I had purposefully ignored him like he had done to me so many times before. Even when he sent me the occasional text I left him on read. It felt good to have that power but I had to cut my reign of terror short when I realized that my problem needed a solution and fast. Time was running out and I exhausted all my resources. I knew I was going to regret this but it had to be done. My stomach was in knots as I waited for him. 15 minutes was a lie, it was over a half hour before he showed up at my place. His hair was damp and he smelled of fresh cologne and soap. I stared at him quizzically when I opened the door. He smiled at me, looking like he was happy to see me while I was mortified to see him. He wasnât wearing anything fancy either. Just a white crew neck and some skinny jeans and winter coat but he still looked so damn good. Stupid fucker.
âSoooâŠâ he started, chewing on his bottom lip a little bit. I yanked him into my apartment and dragged him towards my room, slamming the door behind us. âOh shit, ok.â He grabbed at his shirt, about to take it off when I stopped him.
âNo! None of that!â I swatted at his hands. âThatâs not what I called you over here for.â
âOhâŠâ he said, dejected.
I rolled my eyes. âLook, i donât have any other choice. You were the last person on my list, so donât like flatter yourself.â
âWhat is going on? Youâre making me suspicious.â
I sighed. âWill you be my boyfriend?â Oh jesus christ no, not what I meant!!
âExcuse me WHAT?!â He screamed.
âAHHH FUCK, I MEANT PRETEND. PREEEETENND. PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!!â I tried to correct myself.
âAGAIN, WHAT, AND I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, THE FUCK?!â
âUgh! Okay okay, back peddling.â I took a deep breath trying not to fuck this up even more than I already had. âJust hear me out ok?â
âYou better start talking asap, bro!â
âI need someone to come with me to my sisterâs Quinceanera this weekend. I have literally asked every single one of my guy friends and theyâre all "convenientlyâ busy. I seriously need help.â
"Why canât you take Quinn or something?!â
I sighed. âJohnny, if I show up with a girl as my date my grandparents would disown me and it would make a huge scene at the party and I canât take that away from Dani. My family has this thing where they obsess over asking me if I have a boyfriend or not. Iâm the oldest cousin so according to them I should be married and pregnant by now. My mom tries her best to keep them at bay but if I just show up with someone they will at least be civil for this party. Please. I donât have anyone else. I wouldnât be asking you this if it wasnât a huge deal for me.â
âWell that sounds like a personal problem. Sucks to suck.â
I was shocked that that was actually his response. It was a good effort I guess but I was stuck doing this alone. I hoped to all hell nothing would happen that would ruin this for my little sister. It was completely stupid that my family judged me based on who I loved or wanted to be with, that every question about my life had to revolve around me having a man. It always started with a blanket question, one that seemed innocent enough, but then veered into âwhen will you get a boyfriend?â territory. Not only that but I still had to be on the down low whenever I was with them. Dani knew and so did my mom who was still working to be supportive but that was it. I knew I couldnât tell other people in my family. If I went alone I could just suck it up and be miserable the whole time which at this point looked to be my only option. âSorry to bother youâŠâ I said as i sat down at my desk. I lowered my head onto the top and tried to figure out a way to smooth things over with my family for one night.
âEriâŠis this really that serious?â
I raised my head up and looked at him. âYes. I just want things to go right with this, for her sake. Iâm literally the black sheep of the family. Iâm darker than everyone, my hair is curlier, iâm queer, i play in a heavy metal band, iâm not ultra feminine, and iâm as far away from traditional as possible.â I tried again to convince him. It was turning out to be more pathetic than I hoped for. âI will promise, like absolutely promise, to be nice and civil with you if you do this for me. Please Johnny?â
âWhat do I get in return?â
I sighed and rolled my eyes. âWhatever you want. Iâm too desperate to fight you on this.â
âAnything I want? Youâre serious?â He asked. I could almost see the deviousness going on in his head and instantly regretted it. But I swallowed my pride.
âAnything.â
âOk. Iâll think about what I want and let you know. I gotta dress up or something?â
âSo youâll do it?â I practically jumped out of my chair.
âYeah, iâll do it.â
âFuck, you stupid bastard! Youâre the best!â I threw myself on him, wrapping my arms around his neck in a tight hug. âItâs tomorrow night. We have to drive two hours to get to where I live. It wonât end until late so we can get a motel if weâre too tired to drive back.â
âA motel, huh?â
âDonât even start, please.â I went to pull away but he set his hand on the small of my back, keeping me close.
âTell me what you want me to do.â He lowered his head towards mine, getting dangerously close to my lips. I swallowed hard.
âW-wellâŠwear something nice and donât be an asshole. UmâŠpretend like Iâm the greatest thing to ever grace your life? Hold my hand or somethingâŠor hold me in general. Follow all my lies and try to remember them. Be prepared to be grilled by every woman in my family and subject to a bunch of sexist and misogynistic comments from my stupid uncles. Theyâll be some kids there running around and loud ass music. UmâŠyou may have to dance with me.â
âOofâŠIâm not a great dancer.â
âItâs fine, i donât dance much either. Oh and donât get drunk. Oh! And donât let me get drunk. I think thatâs the gist of it. I may think of other stuff on the way there. Is that all ok?â
He cupped my face in his hand while the other held mine. He lowered himself to my lips and kissed me gently, barely teasing my tongue with his own and making my heart feel like it was about to burst. When he pulled away my lips kept following him not wanting to let go. He chuckled softly and looked directly at me. âMi amor, siento que no puedo vivir sin ti.â
I shoved him away. âBITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!â
He cackled loudly, clutching at his stomach. âIs that âboyfriendâ enough for you?â
âWhere the hell did you pull that from?!â
âYou said itâs a Quinceanera right? I figured I could put my 6 years of Spanish class to good use. Howâd I do?â He was still laughing up a storm while I was ready to call off the whole thing. I couldnât believe he would be able to possibly understand my stupid family.
âHow much do you know?â I asked.
âEnough. Iâll mess up every now and again but I think i could pull off a conversation if I needed to.â
âChrist. OkâŠIf they say something to you just pretend you donât know anything. I know theyâre gonna talk shit and then you can come back and tell me. Thatâs all weâre gonna do, ok? Ok. Iâm gonna throw up.â
âWhy? I wonât mess this up, okay? I know sheâs important to you. Weâll be civil remember?â
I looked up at him and nodded. âThank you, Johnny. Seriously.â
He shrugged and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. âItâs cool. So what time is my hot date picking me up?â
âProbably around 4, iâm sure Iâll need to help set up and stuff. And help with makeup. We can get dressed at the motel because I do not want to walk in heels in the snow and i also donât want to mess up my dress. Where I live my mom said that the snow is more melted and they have clearer sidewalks so I should be good there.â
âAlright, sounds goodâŠsoâŠwhatâs our plan for tonight?â
I raised my brow, confused. âWhat do you mean?â
âI came all the way here and I figured we mightâŠWe could practice for being a couple tomorrow.â
âYouâre going to give me a bunch of hickies and I canât have that.â
âThatâs the pot calling the kettle black. All you do is bite and scratch like a little chihuahua.â He laughed.
I stomped my foot down and huffed. âI am not a little chihuahua!â
âHow about I make them where everyone canât see? Then we wonât have any problems, hmm?â
I crossed my arms and pursed my lips together, hating how devilishly convincing he could be. He was a natural born flirt and it made me want to punch him. I nibbled my bottom lip contemplating if I should really give him the satisfaction. He pulled his coat off and yanked his shirt over his head, showing me his perfectly toned chest and how low slung his jeans were. Asshole. I grabbed onto the waistband of his jeans and pulled him close so we could crash our lips together. He pushed me back onto the bed and crawled on top of me, shoving his tongue past my teeth and coaxing me to moan in his mouth. I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him down so I could roll on top of him. âWhatâs the real reason you were late?â I asked as I dug my nails into his stomach.
âJacking off.â He grabbed at my tshirt and tried pulled it up but I shoved his hands away and pinned his wrists down.
âI knew it, pig.â
âYou act like you donât do it. How many times have you showed me what you like doing when youâre alone, hmm? When we facetime and I call you late at night?â He teased.
âShut up, Johnny. Youâre so fucking annoying.â I dove my head down to bite at his chest, leaving harsh kisses in my wake. He tried moving his hands but i kept him pinned, liking the fact that he was the one squirming for once. I moved just a bit lower to land a few bites before licking through the center of his chest and up his throat. His entire body practically caved in on itself with how hard he shuddered.
âFu-fuckâŠâ He licked his lips and tossed his head back, moaning deeply. I blushed as I watched, feeling myself become victim to how good he looked. I resisted the urge to suck on his neck and went back to his chest, taking his nipple into my mouth. I knew this would truly make him squirm but i didnât expect how hard his hips would buck. I moved my head away from him to over hover his face.
âYouâre not being a very good boy are you?â
He opened one eye to glare at me. âWhen am I ever?â
âI think I should stop. Iâve got a lot to do tomorrow.â
âOh donât you play that game with me, Eri! Thatâs not fair!â
I moved away from him completely and made my way over to open my bedroom door. âOut.â
He sad up with an incredulous look on his face. âYouâre kidding?!â
âYouâre being bad so you get nothing. C'mon now.â
âIâll be good then! Whatever the fuck that means!â
I shook my head. âIâll pick you up at 4, ok?â
âFuckinâ hell!â He got up, his jeans visibly tighter and pulled his shirt back over his head. He grabbed his coat and made his way out of my room with the biggest pout on his face. Just as he had stepped out of the door frame he turned back to me. âCan I ask you something?â He propped his forearm above his head on the frame and looked down at me.
âWhat?â
âBesides us freaking outâŠdid youâŠdid you like it when I came inside you?
My entire face felt like it was on fire and took a step back as if that would somehow prevent him from seeing my embarrassment. "I-i-i-i have n-noooo idea what youâre t-talking about!â I stuttered.
âI mean, did you like the way it felt inside you? Like how hot or how deep it was?â
âPlease stop talking!â My voice was now a squeaky whisper.
Johnny smirked and ran his tongue over his teeth. âI guess that answers my question, doesnât it? See ya tomorrow, Eri. And donât forget, you owe me one.â He winked at me and headed towards my front door, leaving me more flustered than ever.
â
I spent the whole two hour ride telling him about which one of my aunts would grill him the most and which cousin got pregnant first and whoâs baby daddy was a complete failure and which of my uncles was most likely to get drunk and cause a scene. I was sure he wouldnât remember any of it but I was trying to over prepare him for the shit show that was my family. I also needed him to make a good impression so it would look like he was actually happy to be dating me. Fake dating me of course. We checked into the motel first and I spent most of my time being frustrated with my hair and trying to curl it the way I wanted it. It just barely cooperated and i wasted about half a can of hairspray trying to keep everything in place.
My makeup was more softer and neutral than normal to go with my pastel pink floor length sweetheart neckline dress (which made me feel lowkey so pretty). Daniâs theme colors were pink and mint so I was able to at least wear something I would like. Just as i had slipped on my gown i realized there was no way I could reach the zipper in the back. I huffed and squirmed, trying my damndest until I finally gave up. I opened the bathroom door just a crack and peeked out. My heart basically exploded and I wouldnât normally say that my basement could flood in two seconds but this was definitely one of those times.
Johnny was checking himself out in the large mirror on the other side of the room. He wore black pinstripe pants that hugged his ass like a dream. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled to the elbows and a fitted grey vest covered his torso. He adjusted the black tie around his neck, fussing with it until he seemed comfortable enough. He had an extremely nice watch on one wrist and a silver chain bracelet on the other. A few simple rings decorated his fingers and his black dress shoes seemed to sparkle in the fluorescent lighting. His hair was even freshly faded and his bangs trimmed and slicked back. Lord have mercy I wanted to die. I swallowed hard and took a few deep breaths before I called out to him.
His honey brown eyes shot up to look at me and I gripped the handle of the bathroom door tighter. âWhat?â
âCould you umâŠhelp me zip my dress?â
He sauntered over to me I tried to keep myself within the tiny gap of the open door but he pushed it open leaving me exposed to all of his handsome glory. He found the zipper and slid it up slowly, making sure the fabric didnât get caught in it. âDo you want me to tie the sash thing too?â I nodded meekly and felt his hands smooth over the fabric under my chest and slide back to gather the ends to tie into a bow. It was such a simple thing to do but it had my body turning warmer by the second. I caught him looking at me in the reflection of the mirror above the sink once he was done. He looked shocked, licking his lips as if he was trying to say something but not being able to get anything out. I turned my head back towards him.
âDo IâŠdo I look okay?â
He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. âYeah, you look alright.â
âOhâŠâ I said softly. Just alright.
âI mean like you look good, you know? UmâŠyeah, real good.â
I avoided looking at him as I slipped out the bathroom. I didnât have that much time left before we had to head over and I still had to wiggle my feet into heels that I was sure would break my ankles as soon as I got into them. I struggled to get them strapped around my ankles, huffing when my boobs got in my way as I doubled over to reach my feet. I sat down at the small desk and tried to angle myself another way but it was still just as frustrating. âNeed help with that too?â He asked.
I nodded, defeated and he came in front of me, landing on one knee. He slid my dress up to my thigh and took my foot in his hands, delicately securing the straps around my ankle. I couldnât help but feel like Cinderella in that moment, even if my so called prince charming was a fuck boy. âThanks.â I said softly as I stood up. He rose to his feet too and it was weird to almost be face to face with him, instead of staring at his chest.
âOh, i donât like this.â He joked. âIâd like you to stay mini sized.â
âYeah well they wonât be on for long. Theyâre already killing me. I just need to get through the walk and first dance and then iâm tossing them.â I nibbled my lip for a moment before pressing them to his, which seemed to catch him a little off guard. âHmm, itâs nice to not have to stand on my tiptoes to kiss you.â
âHm, letâs hope that walk goes fast. I donât like those heels either.â He smiled at me and offered his arm. âReady now?â
I grabbed my clutch from atop the desk and nodded. âYou have the room key right?â
âYep.â We headed out of the room and towards the parking lot to my car. âYou know, the pastel pink is really nice with your skin tone.â
I straightened up at his compliment. âYou really think so?â
He opened the door to my car and lead me to sit down. âI know so.â
I laughed nervously. âA-are you practicing your boyfriend skills?â I tried to make it sound like a joke but he just shrugged and went over to the passenger side to get in. I swallowed hard and clicked my seat belt into place before revving up the engine. âOh, remember how I said if I told you my government name Iâd have to kill you?â
âYeah?â
âWell youâre going to hear it tonight and if you so much as ever repeat it you wonât have a dick, got it?â
âWhy not? It canât be that bad!â
âTrust me, it definitely is.â
â
âERIANNALISSE!â
I cringed. I cringed hard and wanted to shrink away into a minuscule molecule and be non existent. I didnât even want to look at Johnny to see what he was going to say. I could practically hear him trying to cover up his snickers. I sighed and put on a fake smile as my aunt came to me with arms wide open to capture me in a death grip hug that could snap my spine in half. âAy, mija! Look at you, you look so pretty!â She paused. âHave you gained weight?â
âNice to see you too, Titi.â I grit my teeth and tried to ignore her shade. Her eyes went over to Johnny, looking him up and down and squinting her eyes a bit.
âEriannalisse, quien es este?â She asked who Johnny was.
I grabbed onto his arm, digging my nails into his bicep. âThis is myâŠ.boyfriend, Johnny.â
He waved and grimaced through my death grip. âHi. Nice to meet you.â
âHmâŠâ Was all my aunt said. âTiti Carmen has been wanting to see you. Iâm sure sheâd want to meetâŠJohnny.â
âYeah, iâll go see her in a bit! I have to find mami and Dani first.â
My aunt kissed both of my cheeks and left to go join the gossiping group of women in my family who all suddenly turned their gazes from their champagne flutes to Johnny and I. I turned my back towards them and looked up at Johnny. âI will literally pay you .25 cents to kill me. Just make it quick.â
âDonât be so dramatic, Eriannalisse. Whatâs the worst that could happen?â Â He smirked and laughed a bit which made me frown.
âJohnny, I told you donât call me that. Iâm serious. They can call me that because they donât recognize who I am as a person. You canât.â
âO-ohâŠis it a gay thing? Like one of your gay things that you wonât explain to me?â
I sighed and looked down at my feet. âYeah, sort of. Iâll explain it to you eventually. Just not now ok?â
He took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. âOk, iâm sorry. I wonât say it again.â He leaned down just a bit and gave me a soft (rated PG) kiss which made me smile.
âItâs just hard being around themâŠI wish it would be a fun time but-â I suddenly heard vicious clacking before arms were thrown around my shoulders.
âERIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!â I recognized the overly excited voice and looked up at my modelesque baby sister. âI missed you so much!â
I kissed her cheek and turned around to properly hug her. âHey, happy birthday.â
âYouâre like almost my height!â She said, looking down at my heels. Dani was so graciously blessed with being 5â8â, skinny, with straighter hair and caramel skin as opposed to my milk chocolate. Her eyes were the perfect shade of hazel with flecks of green that sparkled perfectly. She was only my half sister as our fathers were different but we were raised both the same, save for the fact that she was a model and I was the throw away. âYou look so pretty. Iâm glad youâre not in black- Yooooooooooo, who is THIS!?â Her attention turned to Johnny, her eyes wide and mouth practically watering.
âUhâŠhey.â he said sheepishly.
âThis is my boyfriend, Johnny.â
Dani laughed and slapped my shoulder. âNo, really!? Who is he?â
I pouted. âIâm serious. Heâs my boyfriend.â
Dani looked at me then stepped up to Johnny. âWhatâs her favorite color?â
âPastel pink.â He answered.
âFavorite food?â
âPizzaâŠand pasta.â
âWhat instruments can she play?â
âGuitar, and she sings.â
âWhatâs her favorite anime?â
âSailor Moon.â
Dani squinted her eyes. âWhenâs her birthday?â
Fuck, he didnât know that. I grabbed Daniâs arm, trying to get her attention from ruining our facade. âDani, can you not grill him please? Itâs bad enough Titi Lisa and probably Titi Carmen are talking shit about us already. Also, I havenât told mom yet.â
âYou havenât told mom yet?! How long have you been dating?â
âItâll be four months in December.â Johnny added. âWe started dating right when the semester started. We have a class together and I thought she was cute so,â He shrugged. âHere we are.â
âYeah but youâre hot. Eri has never dated anyone this hot before.â
âWell gee, thanks Dani! And iâve dated cute people before!â
âYeah cute, not hot. Heâs hot. If youâre not going to keep him, Iâll take him.â
âYouâre fifteen!â Johnny and I said at the same time.
Dani shrugged. âI meanâŠâ
I held my hand up. âDonât even go there. Heâs like-â How old was Johnny anyway? âWay older than you. Stop being an instagram thot for once. Whereâs mami? I need to know when she wants us to line up and start this.â
âI think at 8 exactly, but sheâs running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Iâve just been chilling with my friends for now. This dress weighs like 50 pounds and Iâm sweating like a whore in church.â Dani fanned at herself and hiked up the bodice of her dress. I looked at her poofy dress that was a beautiful array of soft Monet colors but way too 90âs barbie cake topper. It wouldnât have been my first choice but I was sure mami wanted it to look as traditional as possible. âOh, by the wayyyy, I know you have a boyfriend now but mami invited Josue.â
I straightened up completely when I heard that name. Josue was my childhood crush. He was older than me and I never stood a chance with him but we always played together. Once we kissed in my backyard and told me that he wanted to play house with me and be the daddy. I had been in love with him up until I was 12 when he moved away to a different state. âJo-Josue? Heâs coming? Here? Tonight?â I squeaked.
âWhoâs Josue?â Johnny interjected.
âJosue is Eriâs big olâ crush from when she was younger. All they did was play house together and be mommy and daddy and make kissy faces at each other. Then they kissed for real and he touched her chichiâs! But they never lived happily ever after because he moved away.â
âDani, por favor, why do you have to be like this? Iâm just happy to know heâs going to be here. I havenât even seen him in likeâŠalmost 7 years. Besides Iâm with Johnny now so it doesnât matter.â I forced his arm around my waist and he clutched onto it tightly.
âUh-huh whatever. Have you not followed him on Insta? Thereâs a lot of nice gym pictures. He hit a growth spurt. Heâs like 6â3â now.â
I swallowed hard. âReally? O-oh wowâŠâ
âSounds like a tool.â Johnny scoffed. ïżœïżœïżœYaâll got beer at this place?â
Dani nodded towards the bar at the back of the venue. âJust fight my uncles off before they drink them all.â
âCool.â He dipped out completely, leaving me and my sister to be swept away by our mother who had just stepped in like she was out of breath. She hustled to get us all lined up and ready like a bridal party ready to walk down the aisle. I sighed as I stayed in place, shuffling a bit as my feet already started to hurt. My mind started wandering to my childhood crush. Memories started bubbling to the surface; he had been my first kiss, the first to get to second base, and the first person I had wanted to be my boyfriend. He was three years older than me and I didnât stand a chance with him. But his name was written all over my notebooks until I got my first girlfriend.
I couldnât help but peek around a bit, wondering if he was already in the venue. I didnât have much time to investigate as our entrance music started playing and pair by pair we walked into the main dance floor. I was walking with one of my younger cousinâs who I rarely spoke with so I barely paid attention. He had to yank me back a bit when I walked too fast and it made me want to punch him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Johnny leaning against the back wall nursing a beer and watching me intensely. I smiled in his direction, letting him know I was still trying to be civil but he just took another sip and shoved his hand into his pocket. I wondered if he was ignoring me on purpose or if he genuinely didnât see me. I chewed on my bottom lip almost getting swept up in my thoughts, that was until I saw Dani walking into the room.
Even though I had seen her just minutes ago now that all eyes were on her she looked sparkling and glowing. Iâd never seen her look so beautiful before and it brought tears to my eyes that I tried wiping away as soon as they surfaced. I was a proud sibling then. She meant so much to me that I hoped that this day always reminded her of the happiest times she had in her life. We had our ups and downs but for the most part I was always there for her as much as she was there for me. She embarrassed me and I made sure I had to keep her in place before she got too out of hand. Even though I was far away from home now, I knew we would always remain close.
The floor was hers now and we dispersed to let her have the spotlight. I retreated to one of the circular tables while her and our mom shared a dance. It was normally meant for a daughter and her father but since neither of us had them in our lives our mother was the one who deserved to have that dance. I felt a touch on my shoulder and turned to see Johnny sitting behind me at the table. âWant some?â He said, offering the beer which i denied.
âI hate that kind. Iâll leave you too it.â
âShe looks nice.â
âSheâs a little shit but I love her.â
âI could say the same about you.â
I whipped my head around to stare at him wide eyed. âW-what?â
âI meant like youâre chill! Like i like you. Not like like you but like weâre cool. UhâŠyou know.â I stammered.
âRightâŠyeah, umâŠok.â
âYou wanna dance?!â He said, changing the subject quickly. Dani and my mother had finished their sentimental dance and the dj had switched to some reggaeton/trap mix Dani most likely requested.
âUh, you mean make a fool out of ourselves?â
He shrugged and chugged down the rest of the beer in a few gulps. I guess it wouldnât be so bad. My cousins were already grinding with whoever they invited or dancing in groups and laughing. We could probably blend in without being too weird. I kicked off my heels and stood up, extending my hand for him to take. I shouldâve had a drink before I even agreed to this. My stomach was already in knots and my anxiety was making me feel like I was going to look stupid but he took my hand and we found a spot in a little corner of the dance floor. I stood in front of him waiting for him to make a move but he just stood there with his hands in his pockets. Why the hell did he keep doing that? Was it a nervous habit?
âSoâŠâ he said.
âAre you gonna likeâŠmove?â
âIâve never danced to this sort of music. What do I do?â
âLiterally itâs the same as rap music in english. You just sortaâŠâ I gestured towards my family. âGrind on each other and act a fool.â
âSo you turn around and just like put your ass against me?â
âOh my God, have you never done that before?â
âListen I was a dork and went to high school with a bunch of white kids and we like listened to Ke$ha and Britney Spears. What do you want from me?â He laughed.
âThatâs unfortunate.â I joked. I turned around so my back was against his chest and I set his hands on my hips. âIâm not the best but I figure I can put my ass to use.â I worked myself back against him, swaying to the music a bit in hopes of getting him to respond.
Instead he laughed nervously and held my waist tighter. âHow do people not get boners doing this?â
âI mean thatâs what the song 'Too Closeâ is about. Donât tell me this is turning you on already.â I teased.
He lowered himself to face level and turned my head towards his to kiss me. I held it for a bit, enjoying the way the warmth of his tongue flowed over mine until I realized if my mom caught me doing this my ass would be grass. I pushed him back gently. âJohnny! I canât do that. Behave!â
âC'mon, I at least need to have a little bit of fun while Iâm here. And then when we get back to the motel we can-â
I felt a tap on my shoulder then. Johnny and I both looked up to see a tall, absolutely golden, green eyed adonis that looked like he could pick me up and toss me around in an instant. If I could have heart eyes I definitely would. I let go of Johnny instantly, almost pushing him away as my heart started to skip beats.
âEri!â I knew it was him instantly even if puberty hit him like a freight train and gave him a deep bass-y voice that made my hair stand on end. He opened his arms to scoop me up and crush me to his barrel chest which smelled of high priced cologne. My feet dangled just a bit when he lifted me. âI canât believe it. I havenât seen you in ages!â
âOh my god, JosueâŠJesus, youâre huge.â God I hoped he was huge everywhere.
He laughed and I tried not to show how much it affected me. âOh yeah, Iâm really into that health and fitness thing. You really uhâŠwow. Definitely not a teeny bopper anymore.â He set me back down and adjusted the sleeves of his suit jacket.
âYep! Got bigger boobs now, haha!â Why did I say that? WHY???
He licked his lips a smiled a bit. âI can definitely see that.â
Johnny cleared his throat deeply. Josue turned his attention to the man behind me. âOh hey, Iâm Josue. Who are you?â
âIâm her boy-â
âThis is just Johnny!â I interjected with a nervous laugh. âJust Johnny! Want to go get something to drink? We can catch up!â
Josue flashed his incredibly perfect teeth. âYeah Iâd love that.â He set his giant hand against the small of my back ushering me away from Johnny.
âEri!â Johnny said sternly.
âIâll just be quick!â I mouthed to him, letting myself get whisked away. He didnât seem too happy about that but I could let him sulk for a bit. I was too preoccupied at the moment anyway.
â
Johnnyâs POV
That was fucked up. Way more than fucked up and I was pissed off beyond belief. She was the one who begged me to come with her so she would survive her family. Now she was head over heels for some dude she had a crush on years ago who looked like the biggest douchebag to ever exist. He was taller than me and more built, had perfect teeth and no lisp. I wanted to punch him dead in the jaw.
I didnât know what to do now. If I went after her it might cause a scene which I didnât completely want. I still knew that this party was important to her sister and unlike her I wasnât being an asshole for once. I could get another drink and maybe get away with being a little tipsy but her loud uncles were hogging up the space and the bartenderâs attention. I grumbled as I sat back down at the table. my arms crossed as I contemplated leaving her and going back to the motel by myself.
"What are you pouting for?!â Dani said as she plopped down next to me, her poofy dress seeming to expand.
âNothing.â
âWhereâs Eri?â
âWith precious Josue.â I said bitterly.
âAh, so he finally found her. I knew he would.â She drummed her nails on the table thinking over her next statement. âYouâre not dating my sister are you?â
âItâs complicatedâŠâ
âYouâre fuck buddies?â
âYes.â
âI figured as much. She canât never lie right when it comes to me. So, youâre in love with her then?â
I snapped my head towards her. âExcuse me?â
âYouâre in love with her right? I mean thatâs the only reason you would be sulking over her because Eri went off with her new papi.â
âI have no idea what youâre talking about. Iâm not sulking.â She was definitely Eriâs sister with how she blurted out things without consequence.
âLook, if you want to win her over you need to definitely do something that will make her remember you. Not that I want to hear about my sisterâs sex life or even think about her getting p or v action, but if you got something she might like, go for it. And do it before she ends up going to Josueâs hotel.â She craned her neck to see where Eri and that asshole had gone off too. âLooks like he may have already given her his number.â
I looked in the same direction, my anger only getting stronger. They were huddled over their phones, laughing, with Eri casually (but noticeably) keeping her hands on him. I didnât want to âwin her overâ. I wanted to stake my claim and tell him to fuck right off. The grip on my biceps got tighter the more I stared at them. âAy, you got a younger brother?â
I turned my attention back to Dani, a bit grateful that she was distracting me enough to not go apeshit. âWhat? No? Iâm an only child.â
âWack. But like if youâre not gonna date Eri then likeeeeâŠâ
âYouâre fifteen! Iâm not going to jail nor am I interested.â
âOk, okâŠbut like do you have any younger friends? What flavor Asian are you? Chinese? Or like them ones that dance on tv? The umâŠthe Korean ones!â
âOh my God.â I ran a hand over my face. âYes Iâm Korean. And no I donât have any friends your age. My only young friend in Toronto is 18, which is still illegal.â
âDammit. You know Eri be listening to that stuff right?â
I pulled out my phone, wanting her to take a hint that she was now annoying me without being too rude. âDoesnât surprise me when she fucks half of Asia.â
âAll her hookups are with Asian guys?â
âAs far as Iâm aware. But who fuckinâ knows.â
âOooohhh I gotta mess with her about that. Guess she trying to get that carribean dick now.â She cackled and slapped my back hard as she got up. âCall me, ok?!â She said as she finally left me to join the gaggle of teenage girls that were her friends.
I rubbed my temples and took a few deeps breaths. I needed a smoke, badly. I looked to see if Eri was still stuck to Josueâs side but they were nowhere to be found. I looked around the dance floor trying to see if they might have gone there. Sure enough she was grinding on him now, definitely not as awkward as she had been with me. She was practically bent over and ready to get fucked by him. Fuck it. I stood up and weaved through everyone dancing to make my way over to her. I stood in front of her, watching as she came up from shaking her ass.
âCan we help you?â Josue yelled over the music to me. I rolled my eyes at him and took Eriâs chin in my hand giving her a deep kiss. She stumbled back a bit and gripped onto my vest. When i pulled away i licked my lips, tasting the slight flavor of her lipstick.
âJohnny!â She exclaimed.
âWhat the hell are you doing?â He asked, in his macho voice, trying to one up me.
âOh, you didnât know?â I grabbed onto Eriâs waist and kept her close to me. âSheâs MY girlfriend. You had your fun catching up right?â
âEri, you didnât tell me-â
She looked panicked as she glanced between us. âNo, wait- Itâs just-â
âCome with me.â I growled in her ear. âNow.â
âJohnny , I swear to g-â I kept my arm around her waist and lead her towards the front door of the venue. When we were in the clear she whipped around to face me. âWhat the actual fuck?!â
âI should be asking you the same thing! Youâre really gonna ditch me to throw yourself on him? After you begged me to come here?!â
âI wasnât throwing myself on him! We havenât seen each other in 7 years! So excuse me if I wanted to talk with him.â
âHard to talk to him with his dick practically in your mouth! What is wrong with you?!â
âWhy are you being such a jerk again! You always do this!â She yelled.
âYouâre the one being the jerk this time! Iâm fuckinâ pissed. When are we leaving?â
âLeaving?! I have to stay here for at least a few hours! Clearly you donât know how these go.â
âNo, Eri, i fuckinâ donât. But I do know that you going off with someone else while Iâm supposed to be your boyfriend blows our entire cover. So either you fucking act right or I can leave right now. You sister already knows were lying.â
âFuck!â She stomped her foot and sighed. âI knew she would figure it out. She better not tell anyone.â
âIâm pretty sure she wonât have to with you being stupid. Get me my cigs from your purse wallet thingy.â
âGet you-? Get it yourself! Iâm freezing and Iâm going back inside. And maybe iâll still be talking with Josue!â
I grabbed her arm and held onto it. âEri, do you want to go there? Really want to go there?â My eyes caught hers and i could see how hard she swallowed. Her chest was heaving chest a bit and trembling with the cold.
âWhat are you going to do?â She sniffled.
âDo you want to find out?â
âM-maybe.â
I let her go then opened the door, guiding her back inside. âThen keep it up. I dare you.â
She stayed quiet then but shuffled ahead of me quickly. I realized I had made her walk outside without her shoes on or our coats but it was whatever at this point. I needed her to know that I wasnât playing games any more. She was mine.
â*
Eriâs POV
I could barely keep up with Johnnyâs long strides from the parking lot to the door of our motel room. He continued his little tyrade of sticking by me and keeping me from Josue, never letting go of my hand, or my waist, even when he went through the ringer of meeting more members of my family. Him being pissed off had me pissed off and it didnât help when my family told me how fat I looked, or asked when Johnny and I were getting married, or why I had spent so much time in college, or even that what I was studying wasnât going to get me a real job. It made the entire rest of the night absolutely fucking miserable. Not to mention when I told my mother I was going to spend the night in the motel with Johnny instead of driving home at midnight she blew up on me, saying that it wasnât right and insisting that I stay at the house. I refused to and I had no idea why she still thought I was some sort of Virgin de Guadalupe or some shit. It was another fight to end this magical night. I gave up and just wanted to take a hot shower, put on my fuzzy pajamas on and possibly smoother Johnny with a pillow as he slept.
Johnny barged into our room, not even bothering to hold the door open for me. I didnât even want to deal with him since I was still mad at my mother for treating me like a child. I went straight to prepping for my shower, tossing my clutch and fake eyelashes on the desk and my phone on the bed so i could plug it in to charge. I unzipped the dress as best as I could without his assistance and shimmied out of it, leaving it a puddle in front of the bed. I didnât care anymore. Not one bit. After I showered I pulled the too short towel around me and went back into the shared space. Johnny was sitting in the chair, feet propped up on the desk and tie loosened. He was glaring at me and I swallowed hard at the intensity. He dropped his legs and leaned forward in the seat, undoing the first few buttons on his dress shirt.
I tried to ignore the effect he had on me and instead went to my duffel bag to try and find my pajamas. He stopped me as I passed by him, grabbing my wrist and pulling me in front of him. âOw! Whatâs your problem now?!â I asked, still trying to clutch onto my towel so it wouldnât fall.
âThis night was complete bullshit. Iâm your boyfriend and all you could do was throw yourself onto that guy and embarrass me in front of everyone.â
âI wasnât throwing myself on him!â I argued again. I hated that he was saying that. So what if I found Josue incredibly attractive and felt like a preteen again as soon as I saw him? That was my business and not Johnnyâs.
âYou grinded on him, got his number, and had your arms around him for minutes on end. You made me look stupid. Iâm your boyfriend, Eri.â
âFake boyfriend.â I corrected.
âThatâs what I meant.â
âWhy should you be embarrassed then?!â
âBecause your uncles didnât think that I was man enough to keep you with me. And your aunts talked shit about me all night.â He pressed himself up against me making the edge of the desk dig into my lower back. âYou said you were going to be civil and you were far from civil.â He set his hands on either side of my hips, keeping me in place.
âA-ah, JohnnyâŠback u-up.â I whimpered and avoided looking at him but he grabbed my face roughly.
âYou wanna try that shit again, Eri? Hmm?â
I could feel his fingers digging harshly into my jaw. âI didnât do anything wrong! Youâre just a jealous prick that-â
He pulled away from me and shoved me back onto the bed, instantly hovering over me. My towel fell open just like my legs and he pinned both my wrists above my head in one of his large hands. I swallowed hard and felt my heartbeat increase. I had no idea what had gotten into him and i was partially thinking about what Doyoung had said about Johnny. Was he actually trying to manipulate me and make me feel bad for being with Josue? I bit my lip as I thought, wondering what his next move would be. âGet off me.â I tried to sound strong but it was a pathetic attempt.
âOpen.â He demanded.
âW-what?â What the hell did he want? I figured it out quickly as three of his fingers dove down my throat almost making me gag. I squirmed against him, trying to edge my head away but he was adding more of his weight onto me as his fingers plowed into my mouth. His knee was pressed right into my center, the residual wetness from the shower dampening the fabric. I tried swallowing around the invasion when his knee started to rock into me.
âSuck harder, Eri.â
I didnât dare look at him. His voice was doing something to me as always. Stirring the pot of emotions and hormones that made me fall into a space of complete submission. This wasnât like his usual ways though throughout or hookups I could see the dominance poking through. Now he was another person that I was desperate to get to know. I tried my best to suck deeper at his fingers, sliding my tongue around them and providing them all the wetness they hopefully needed. I knew exactly where they were going and i was going to be stretched far beyond my imagination. With his thrust his rings kissed my lips, shocking me with a bit of cold and excitement. I edged my tongue around the silver as best I could given the invasion that took up most of my mouth. Slowly the metal warmed up and I pressed my thighs against his, feeling a tingling throughout my center.
He pulled his hand away sharply, making me cough as his glistening fingers dove lower. Two were rushed inside me making my knees jerk up towards my chest and toes curl. I was already crying out his name, wanting him to slow down just enough for me to catch my breath and adjust but he ignored me. Instead he was working in the third finger, forcing my walls to flex and waver around him. He was already digging my arousal out of me. I could hear it so blatantly echoing in our room. I buried my face in my arm beside my head, still being unable to free my hands though I struggled as much as I could. He seemed to like that struggle as his fingers curled deep inside me, knuckles pressing against my entrance, the rings threatening to push past and fill me up too.
âFuck, Johnny!!!â I cried out as my thighs almost snapped shut. It was starting to be too much and I could feel myself already crawling towards an orgasm.
âQuiet.â Was all he said as he pulled his fingers out to give me some relief from the pressure. I was throbbing and gaping around the stretch he left behind, my whole lower half practically trembling. He finally let me go and sat down on the bed. He splayed his legs open, unzipping his dress pants and beckoning me over to him. âGet over here.â
I shook my head, raising myself to my knees and shrinking myself away. I wasnât scared of him, far from it. I was definitely turned on more than anything but I wanted to push him further than he had ever been capable of. He wanted to be a jealous boyfriend that pushed my buttons well I was going to push right back. âYouâre being a jerk. Iâm not giving you the satisfaction, especially after you decided to barge in there with your giant ass fingers!â
He lurched forward and grabbed onto my arm before I could wiggle away. He yanked me to his chest then gripped the back of my neck hard. Our eyes met before he pulled me close to his lips. âI like it better when you donât talk.â
I squinted at him, almost in shock that he used my own line against me. âYou fucker.â
He pressed me down towards his lap though I tried to resist as much as I could. It was no use as he was stronger than me and I was face to face with his growing length trapped within his briefs. His hand was now digging into my hair keeping me firmly in place. I landed a bite to his hipbone making sure he knew I wasnât too pleased in the way he was handling me. He hissed out my name and arched his hips, his nails digging into my scalp. I wrapped my hand around his, trying to pry his iron grip away while adding kitten licks to the outline of his cock. That seemed to soothe him a little as I heard him exhale through his nose as he relaxed back against the wall. His nails quit marking my skin and he opted to push my hair away from my face gently instead of trying to rip it out.
I slid his briefs back and guided him towards my mouth pressing kisses down the shaft before licking back up to the tip. Once I got to the tip, I took him in, swallowing his head completely. I shifted my hips to raise my ass higher for him to look at knowing it would tease him. I looked up at him and saw the full pleasure that was written across his face. His eyes had closed, his lips pressed together, and his fingers trailing down to open more buttons on his dress shirt. I popped off him and placed kisses up his stomach with each new area that became exposed. âI can tease that little spot that you like.â I smirked and added a slow stroke to his cock.
âActually, I have a better idea.â He shoved me down onto my back and straddled my shoulders, his cock now hovering above my face. I couldnât move with his weight on me and I was trapped between his thick thighs. He tapped my lips with his cock which I absolutely hated. I slapped at his stomach but he remained stoic. He only moved to shove himself down my throat, propping one hand against the wall while the other kept my head in place. He worked quickly to rock his hips against my face making me claw at him. I wasnât used to this sort of thing, even with all of my experience, and it hurt like all hell. I was trying my damnedest not to gag around him but it was impossible given the fact that he was ramming into my throat. My eyes watered and tears fell against my will. My nails dug into his hips as I silently begged for him to slow down.
He was moaning my name, more than he ever had before, completely lost in the pleasure of torturing my throat. He looked fucking amazing, I had to give him that much, even if I hated what he was doing to me. I loved the way his hair was coming undone from the gel he used, the way his dress shirt lay open and his tie dangled above me like an invitation. The way his thighs stretched out his dress pants was a dream and I wanted to touch every part of him. I reached for the thinner end of his tie, pulling roughly so it zipped up to his throat. He lurched back at the sudden pressure and looked down at me. He must have seen my fucked up state because he pulled out, leaving me grossed out by the messy spit that connected us still.
"Fu-fucker. That hurtâ I croaked.
He pulled off me completely before lifting me up to sit in his lap. He wiped away my tears and I buried my face in his neck, clutching onto his vest. He kissed at my cheek, pulling me away from hiding. âYou ok?â
I sniffled and nodded. He worked his hands over my sides and hips trying to soothe me more. Of course he couldnât help himself and gripped my ass tight which made me laugh just a bit. âIâve never done that beforeâŠâ
âReally?â He asked, surprised.
âOk, Iâm a hoe but like there are some things I havenât done before. You have to remember you dick is huge, dude. Iâm small.â
He gave me soft tender kisses and tucked my hair behind my ear. âI know, princess. Iâm sorry. But donât think youâre getting away with this shit either.â
I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. âI stand by the fact that I didnât do anything wrong.â
âHmm.â Was all he said before he tossed me face down onto the bed. I looked back at him as he discarded the rest of his clothes, dangerously holding his tie in his hand. He mounted me, as I was completely his to take and wrapped the loop of the tie around my wrists, pulling tight. âYou like this donât you?â It was supposed to be a command but I could tell it was mostly an uneasy question and he needed permission to continue.
I nodded and smiled at him. âI like it a lot, daddy.â I gave him a quick kiss sealing my consent. I threw out my rule of not using our titles with one another since he couldnât actually communicate but in this moment I need him to know that I was his to command and I was giving him as much power as I would allow.
He wrapped the length tie around his fist, keeping a firm hold on it. His other hand jerked my hips up while his knee nudged my legs apart as far as they could go. My ass was raised, arms outstretched, and my body was trembling with excitement. His first thrust was swift and hard. I could hear his hips snap against me and I was barely able to hold myself up in that moment. My arms shook weakly and I dug my fingers into the sheets as my mouth curved into a silent moan. He was almost too deep for me to handle and every slam into me seemed harsher than the last. I couldnât really keep up. It was overpowering and I wanted to scream my pleasure into the tiny room though I could barely even mumble a word.
My fingers curled as I tried to send tension to my arms instead of my weakening legs. It was useless though and I could feel my stomach tightening. He landed a slap to my ass just as I tried to pull away from him and regroup. I hissed and bowed my head, breathing out his title again. Suddenly, my phone buzzed by my head, the screen lighting up and distracting me. I turned to see who it was and winced. This was the worst time for him to call.
Johnny pressed my head into the mattress and sped up his brutal thrusts. âWhy donât you answer it, Eri? Let him hear how good youâre getting fucked. Tell him whoâs really your boyfriend.â
I opened my mouth to say anything but all that came out weâre soft croaks. I panicked when I saw him reach for my phone and I struggled to move to try and block him. âD-dont, please donât.â I was finally able to say. He let go of his grip on the tie wrapped around my wrists and instead set it around my neck. The call disappeared much to my relief.
âWhat a shame Eri. Letâs see if he calls back or if he took the fucking hint.â I swallowed hard and nodded, biting into my lip to try and still my moans. He quickly latched his teeth into my neck, sucking deeply like he always did when he wanted to mark me. âStay on all fours, got it?â
I propped myself back to my elbows as he forced my thighs to rest on the outside of his. I could hear his moan of satisfaction at the sight of me splayed open with his cock stuffed inside me. I wanted to shy away and hide but he wouldnât let me of course. He resumed his grip on the tie, pulling it taught around my neck and constricting my air flow. My eyelids fluttered and i wondered if this was heaven. Jesus, it felt so amazing even if every muscle in my body felt like it was burning and my insides were a scrambled mess. While he made my back dip by pulling my neck by the tie I felt his other hand slid down from my hips to my wetness, flowing over my clit. I was grateful for the extra attention and wiggled my hips to rock back against him and dive further into his fingers.
His finger started to trail from my clit to dance around my gaping entrance and just like before he pressed the long digit in little by little until it was almost as deep as his cock. I pleaded for him to stop, it was too much, too overwhelming for my overly sensitive walls but he kept working away at my torturous pleasure. That, coupled with his thickness, made the tendons in my legs strain as bliss shot through me. My moans mixed in with my strangled pants as he dared to press a second finger into me.âJ-johnny!!â I rasped. âItâs too much!!â
He pressed his body weight harder against me, keeping me pinned so I would have no way from escaping the overstretching. âYouâre not going anywhere.â He whispered harshly in my ear, making me shudder. He curled his finger then, the pressure of his knuckles against his cock, and the sliding of his rings against my heated walls made me clench meekly around him. Johnny enjoyed seeing me writhe beneath him, seeing me try and focus on being a good brat when in reality I was starting to unravel into a brainless mess. Nothing had a hold on my attention like the buildup he was creating inside me. I could barely process the words he was saying to me with how fuzzy my senses were. He curled his fingers deeper getting right to the root of my pleasure. The head of his cock was edging as far as it could go within me, his fingers pressed into the perfect spot, and his thumb brought back smalls swipes and circles against my clit. It was a haphazard clusterfuck of intense sensations that all culminated into a harsh orgasm that sent my mind reeling. It felt like my cum rushed out of me, painting my thighs with a deep warmth that was astounding.
I squeezed my eyes shut as my entire frame trembled. My muscles seized, tensed, and finally gave out. I fell forwards, collapsing onto the bed in a breathless heap. My lower half practically felt numb and I tried to concentrate on not passing out. It wasnât just the physical fatigue, the mental and emotional fatigue of the entire day weighed on me in that moment. My few seconds of recuperation was cut short when Johnny pulled his fingers out of me. I felt another gush then, making me a bit confused as to how wet I really was. It definitely felt different and I could hear Johnny make some remark though his words werenât registering. He said something else and I nodded weakly, agreeing to whatever he had posed just for me to have the ability to relax soon.
But that was definitely wishful thinking. He yanked me almost to the edge of the bed and continued his brutal fucking. I let him grip onto the back of my thighs as he huffed out growls and moans. He was swelling inside me, making me wince yet encourage him with mumbles that I thought were words. His fingertips dug into me harder and that sweet heat spread throughout my body again. I smiled and relished in the feeling of him pumping into me, slower and slower, until he milked himself completely. I laid there, unmoving and enjoying the way he felt inside me like I always did until I i lost myself in sleep.
â*
Johnnyâs POV
I felt her move beneath me and there was a stickiness and sweatiness between us. I groaned as I didnât really want to move but I needed to break away and get some air. My hand was over hers, my body curled around her, and my cock of course still inside her. It was almost perfect save for the giant wet spot we were forced to lay in because she squirted everywhere. We had both fallen asleep almost immediately after and i just adjusted her in the bed for me to have enough room to spoon her. Now everything made me feel like I needed an hour long shower. I rolled away, letting go of her hand and putting my forearm over my eyes to block out the bright light of the room. How long were we even asleep for?
She mumbled something and groaned, blinking a few times before fully looking at me. âHey.â She sounded like she had smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day for the past 40 years and I cringed at my handiwork. She tried clearing her throat but opted that it was too sore and winced in pain.
âHeyâŠmaybe you shouldnât talkâŠâ She glared at me and I shuffled a bit away so she wouldnât attack me.
âI feel gross. Why is everything wet? What happened?â
âWhat do you mean what happened? We fucked?â
âNo, no, I know that. But I was so tired at the end-â She paused to rub at her throat. âI felt like half asleep. It was good though but I was worn out.â She laughed softly.
âWell, youâre welcome for that but likeâŠdo you even remember your orgasm?â
She nodded quickly, her smile beaming. âOh yeah.â
âYou squirted everywhere and basically weâve been laying in the soaked sheets because weâre dumb as fuck.â
âWaitâŠsquirted? No, i canât do that. Iâve never done that.â
âWhat do you mean you cant do that? You literally did. Twice. The first time when you had your big one and then when i pulled my fingers out. It was likeâŠnot how they make it out to be in porn. Like not some weird super soaker spray but like-â
She held her hand up to stop me. âPlease donât describe it any further. I justâŠholy shit.â
I pulled out of her slowly, never getting used to that amazing feeling. It got me every time. It also sent my cum dripping out of her which was almost as good of a sight as her squirting. âFuckâŠâ
She wiggled a bit, a look of discomfort on her face. âWhat the hell?â
âWeâll now we got my cum on the sheetsâŠâ I said, partially annoyed. We really had to get them off this bed.
âDID YOU CUM IN ME AGAIN?!â
Her yelling caught me off guard. âYes? I asked you this time and you agreed!â
âWhen?!â
âWhat do you mean when!?â
âIâm sorry if I was too fucked out and tired to freakinâ listen to you blab during sex! But you canât be doing that! It freaks me out!!!â
âHey, i asked to cash in my favor and you definitely said yes so I did it. It is not my fault.â I sat up slowly and inched my way to roll off the bed. âCome on. We need to get these off and I think Iâm gonna take a shower.â
âArenât you worried at all?â She said softly.
âMe? Not really. I told you itâll be alright. Weâve got everything covered.â It was a lie but I was blinded by how good it felt sexually and I also didnât want to make her panic more than she already was. I told myself Iâd stop after this one last time and not risk it anymore. She didnât move and I could tell she was overthinking again. I went over to her and scooped her into my arms, holding her bridal style. âIâll have you get the shower started while I take care of the bed. She held onto my neck and buried her face in my chest as I walked her into the bathroom, gently setting her down in the tub. âYou ok?â
âY-yeahâŠâ She reached up and pulled me in for a kiss that I held for a long time. It wasnât deep or passionate but more so intimate and warm. I sighed and cupped her face.
âGo, ok? Iâll be right back.â
I pulled away from her which seemed to be getting harder and harder each time. Even if it was just back into the room it felt like a million miles away. I tore off the soaked sheets, glad that the comforter was still mostly dry, and tossed them in the corner of the room. I said a silent apology to housekeeping and hoped to all hell they wouldnât look at it directly when they put it in the wash. I padded back to the bathroom and slipped in behind her.
âTurn around.â She said and I gave her a questioning look. She sucked her teeth. âI was just about to get theâŠstuff out.â
âEri, iâve literally seen you every which way. Do you really think I care how you look getting my cum out of you?â
âJUST DO IT.â
I sighed and turned around, picking up the little motel bar of soap and ripping off the plastic. I waited for her to finish, getting impatient about being in the cold spot. âDude, hurry up.â
âTHERE IS A LOT OK? You donât cum like a normal human being!â
âApparently neither do you, Splash Mountain.â
âOH MY GOD. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.â
I snorted and looked back at her. âCan I please get under the water now? Iâm freezing.â
She switched spots with me and I finally got under the hot stream, thankful to wash away a whole nights worth of sex. My time under the stream by myself didnât last long as Eri snuggled up next to me, her hair a soaking mess of waves that framed her face and made her look like a painting of a goddess. âToo cold. I want to be next to you.â
âYou big baby.â I joked and ruffled her hair. She pouted and poked at my stomach making me squirm away. Our antics made our shower way more fun than it shouldâve been, mimicking the perfect time we had in the tub before I freaked out on her. It was almost like a do over and I was appreciative of that fact. Once we were done and dried we curled up, facing one another, under the comforter. And although we were both fatigued, we stood up for hours talking about shit I never even dreamed about knowing about her. By the time the sun rose I was able to realize that one thing was for sure. I was in love with her.
â
We thought everything would be fine after that, and it was between us, but on Eriâs side things seemed to hit the fan one after the other. Their grandpa, who was back on the island they were from, fell ill. Their mother didnât let them have a say in anything and whisked them away, making them leave school and work behind. There was a looming threat that they could be fired or even lose their financial aid which worried them just as much as their grandpaâs health. Each night they were gone we would facetime just so I could see them. I missed having them beside me whenever I wanted and it wasnât even about the sex anymore. I genuinely found that I liked talking to them. There was never any judgement and I started to understand why certain things were important to them. Now I had to be there for them and help them stay strong even though I knew they were crumbling.
I was laying on my side, my phone propped against the wall, as I watched them cry. There wasnât much I could do, or even say, at this point but i remained on the video. They apologized over and over for crying so much but i reassured them that I didnât care. They let me know that it was okay when I cried and I wanted them to know the same. âI miss you..â They hiccuped.
I sniffed and cleared my throat, swallowing my own emotions. âI miss you tooâŠyou know you have to be there. Itâs going to be okay.â
âHeâs gonna die Johnny. I know it. I visited him today at the hospital and my mom and my aunts just keep putting this weird bandaid on it. They keep thinking heâs going to bounce back and be able to take care of the house and my grandma and he wont. He literally wont. I donât know why they wonât just fuckinâ say it.â
âTheyâre scared, Eri. Theyâre losing one of their parents. Itâs always going to be scary.â
âI know that but I hate being the only fucking rational one here. Itâs driving me insane. Just look at him and say heâs going to die! Heâs just going to die, Johnny. Heâs going toâŠâ They burst into another round of tears and buried their face into a pillow, muffling the heart wrenching sobs. I wish I could be there. I wish I could hold them so fucking tight and never let them go. It hurt me to see them like this.
âBaby, look at me, ok?â They moved their head up and wiped at their eyes. âWhen you come back here, iâll be here for you ok? Itâs going to be hard but Iâll help you get through this. And so will Quinn and stupid ass Lucas and all your other friends.â
I finally saw them crack a small smile which made me feel a little better. âI knowâŠI-â Suddenly, someone burst into their room. I couldnât make out who it was exactly as the video started to pixelate. They had a conversation that I couldnât understand but seemed stressed. They grabbed their phone and finally the video came back into view. âI have to go. I-Iâll talk to you later, ok?!â Before I could even respond the video was cut off and I had my own disturbance burst into my room. I shot up in bed, looking at Jae who seemed to be distressed. Great, was everyone around me having issues at once?
âDude, what the-â He held his cell phone out in his shaking hand and I could see a call from an unknown number going on. âWhat?â I asked, still confused.
âTalk. Talk now.â Â was all he said.
I took the phone tentatively and held it to my ear. My body went into shock as soon as I heard the voice that had haunted me for weeks on end. The voice that made my skin crawl and make me want to vomit. What she said next drenched my blood run cold.
âJohnny, Iâm pregnant.â
#johnny#johnny fanfic#johnny smut#johnny suh#johnny seo#nct#nct 127 fanfic#johnny nct#nct 127 fanfiction#nct 127#nct smut#nct 127 smut
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Marauders Preference*Secret Talent
Included: James, Sirius, Remus
Request?: Nope
Warnings?: cuteness
Type: no clue
Masterlist HERE
Wattpad HERE
James: Drawing
James was a...beautiful specimen with a very drawable face. In your opinion.
This meant that in one charms class when you were bored, especially since the whole class was being lectured on proper wand etiquette, you wanted to draw. James made a good subject.
Eventually, the bell went and you suppressed a groan. You were halfway through but knew you'd have to finish it later.
When you got home you found yourself procrastinating homework yet again so pulled out your sketchbook. You flipped through and saw the drawing again. Being bored and because of your crush, you decided to finish it.
No one ever saw your drawings. It was something you kept private. So when you couldn't find your sketchbook the next day after lunch you were Very concerned. It wasn't anywhere.
Because you were searching for so long you ended up being 10 minutes late for charms. "Sorry." You panted out after running to class. "I couldn't find my um..book." You quickly be lined for your seat.
It was embarrassing enough being late and the look the teacher gave you but you also had to walk past your crush to your seat. You sat at a table with your friend and James and Sirius were at the table next to you. You felt your skin burn as they looked at you.
Luckily they went back to their shenanigans. At one point a first year came in and said Sirius was to go to see McGonagall. In true fashioned, the class oohed and ahhed at him. The class was noticeably quieter without him.
Your skin was finally back to normal when James James turned to you. "Hey, this fell out your bag earlier." He spoke quietly, to not attract much attention. Upon seeing the panic in your eyes he added "And I never looked in it. Well, only the first page but you know." He stuttered a little towards the end.
"Thanks. Most people would have."
He looked down for a moment. "I figured I should ask first. So can I?"
You hesitated and glanced at your friend. She gave you a glare and a nudge, knowing you would never. but handed it over. She grinned and pretended to go back to work. You, however, had forgotten of your recent drawing.
James' eyes flicked over the work you'd spent most of your free, and not so free, time on, "These are amazing," he said, "I didn't know you could draw," I didn't know you knew who I was, you thought.
As you knawed on your bottom lip Sirius returned to his seat, a slip of paper in hand. "Well, that's my third detention this week. What's that? Since when did you do self-portraits? Hell, when did you start drawing?"
"No, uh it's (Y/N)'s."
Sirius glanced at me, clearly not knowing who I was. He shrugged and went to grab my book. I felt myself start to die and mentally began preparing my funeral.
James leaned away from him, holding the book away. "No! It's uh a bad picture of me. I look like crap." He handed it back to you. You shoved it in your bag, feeling deflated.
After class, he dashed to keep up with you. Your friend gave you a look before speeding away. "Wait up! I'm sorry about that. It was great. I just figured you wouldn't want him seeing and I'm not great on the spot so I said it was crap. It wasn't. it was pretty amazing-"
"Thanks." You cut him off, seeing him begin to stutter and trip over his words. "I believe you,"
James grinned, his awkwardness turning into a cocky smile "So...why'd you draw me?"
Sirius: Cards
It never really came up. You were kinda glad though as you could get a little competitive. Or very. Only Lily had known from when your family had invited her to game night.
Since it was Christmas break the halls of Hogwarts were empty. Lily had brought a pack of cards down to the great hall. The idea of house tables had been ditched so you sat across from lily, shuffling cards.
"Oh, what are we playing?" Sirius asked as he sat next to you, pecking your cheek. Lily rolled her eyes, never approving of your PDA. Plus since you were dating Sirius this invited the rest of the marauders to join.
"I was thinking of Switch?" Lily suggested, pretending not to like sitting next to James. You nodded and started shuffling the cards. You did a few fancy shuffle tricks though to show off to your boyfriend and friends. Lily just rolled her eyes.
You started to deal. "Do you know how to play?" You asked the group.
"Yup. We played it at James' last Christmas. Can't be too hard, right?"
...
Sirius failed. Epically.
Some of the moves he made caused you to physically cringe. "Hey," You started as lily began to shuffle the cards after your win. "Why don't we work as a team?"
"Isn't that unfair to them?" Sirius put his chin on your shoulder, seriously thinking this was like cheating. The marauders chuckled as he had seriously bombed it.
"We defiantly don't mind," James laughed.
Sirius still couldn't quite keep up. Every move it was a 'no that one. Why? Because I said so'.
Sirius gave up after that round. You continued to play everyone else as Sirius watched, confused. You won 6 out of 7 games. Everyone else decided they were done too and decided to go snowball fighting. You told them to go ahead and you'd find them soon.
"When did you learn to play?" Sirius asked as you placed the cards in their pack.
"My family always play on holiday. Plus we started having game nights." You pause for a moment, thinking of the last time. "It's like a bloody war. You should come to the next one?"
Sirius looked a little taken aback. "You want me to meet your family?" You were about to panic when he continued. "I'd love too. But I kinda..."
"Suck? I know. I'll teach you. No offense but that was a bit embarrassing,"
Remus: Baking
Not to brag but you were kind of a badass. It's not that you didn't like people but more that they avoided you since apparently leather jackets, muggle died hair, and muggle music was intimidating
You did have friends though. Sirius had latched on to you so he could learn your muggle ways to disappoint his parents. This lead to you being friends with the marauders. You'd never admit to them you liked Remus especially since you were kind of opposites.
The marauders were meant to be coming over to yours but Sirius had gone MIA, James found out last minute he was going on holiday, and peter was still on holiday. Remus had come over though. It wasn't awkward just not what you expected. Your mum was warm and welcoming to him and ushered him into the kitchen to wait for you. "Would you like a cookie or a bit of cake?"
"Um, a biscuit please." You mother smiled at him sympathetically looking at his scars, before she grabbed him one from the cooling rack. Remus shuffled a bit uncomfortably knowing what she saw and what she was probably thinking. You were coming down the stairs as he took his first bite.
"(Y/N) made them earlier." Your mum told Remus as he had to stop himself moaning from the taste.
"You made these?" He asked as you walked through the door. "Their amazing"
"They're ok." You mumbled as you poured yourself a drink.
Your mum smiled and pinched your check. "Always so humble," you swatted her hand as your checks flared up "Yet so cheeky. Take some cookies upstairs." Your mum added as she walked out of the room.
"If I'd know you baked I would have come over a long time ago," Remus said as he grabbed a chocolate chip cookie.
"You can't tell the guys," I said.
"Worried about your street cred?" he joked, "Fine, deal. But only if you keep making these,"
"Deal,"
#Harry Potter#harry potter cast#harry potter ships#harry potter imagine#hp#hp imagine#hp imagines#harry potter preferences#Harry Potter Ship#Harry Potter Smut#harry potter pregerence#Marauders#marauders era#young marauders#harry potter marauders#Marauders Ship#marauders imagine#marauders headcanon#James Potter#young james potter#james potter imagine#young james potter imagine#Remus Lupin#young remus lupin#remus#young remus#remus lupin imagine#Sirius Black#young sirius black#sirius black x reader
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hello, guys! iâm sora (but you can also call me s), 22 yrs old, goes by she/her pronouns, and living in the est timezone. some of my interests include doggos, anime, disney movies, and overwatch. and honestly, i can't wait to plot & interact with everyone!
â§ïœ„ïŸ(  ares + kim chungha + female  ) đđđđđ đđđ !!  have you seen (  mia nam  ) around ? (  she  ) has been in kaos for (  two years  ). the (  twenty-five year old  ) is a (  bartender  ) from (  las vegas, usa  ). people say they can be (  fiery  ) but maybe thatâs not too bad âcause they can also be (  valiant  ). whenever i think of them, i canât help but think of (  bloody and bruised knuckles, the sound of a motorcycle engine, worn out black leather jackets  ).  ïŸâ§
i. about
mia namâs destiny felt like it was all written for her the moment she was born. for starters, she wasnât planned. her parents were fooling around in their mid-20s and a baby came into their life when they were too drunk to remember about protection due to the heat of the moment. in the end, they decided to keep her, thinking it would work in the long run. they got married the moment miaâs moment found out she was pregnant. 9 months later, baby mia was born in las vegas, nevada.
both mom and dad ended up depending on their parents for a while because neither of them were well-off and as time ticked by, the two got an everyday job to make a living as much as they can for all three of them. the days felt long and nights became quiet as mom and dad were getting stressed out. soon, their silence became arguments in the master bedroom as they blamed each other for having to spend the rest of their lives this way and it lead to a slap on momâs face. while mia was in her room, crying that she couldnât do anything for to stop them from fighting. it soon grew to a norm.
to take the attention off of each other, the young nam eventually took it upon herself to get in between them. when middle school started, she started with coming home late and realized her parents would get worried and think about their daughter instead of each other. it was also a way to grab her parentsâ attention.
however, it didnât stop there. mia was going through a downward spiral during her middle school and high school years. it started with yelling and arguing with other kids, which landed her in detention multiple times and summer classes. the results werenât exactly what she expected though. her father was furious for her actions and ended up hitting her, causing mia to run away from home for a few days.
years passed, mia graduated middle school and moved onto high school. not much changed, except her parents got a divorce and it was agreed that mia would switch between parents; staying with mom during weekdays and dad during weekends, which she dreaded.
her attitude didnât get any better, unfortunately. she became a bitch and a bully to others, hung out with a wrong crowd, and
it was college that became a change for her. after discussing with multiple advisers, she was soon convinced that she needed a change in her lifestyle. she was just a young girl who had a deep anger inside of her, but soon she was taking anger management classes and boxing lessons to improve herself and to tone down her irritation. plus, she decided to get a college degree. she wanted to make a name for herself and wanted to believe she could do something better with her life than her parents.
she became more well-behaved and calmed down compared to her past rebellious and aggressive self. unfortunately, it didnât stay that way for long. the brunette became friends with new people and lead them into her world, which was rare considering she never truly talked to most about her past, secrets, or emotions. before she knew it, the ones she called best friends betrayed her. they ditched her more than once, spread rumors and lies, and the last straw was telling everyone her stories. just when she thought she was having a new family of friends, the image of ever having a loving family was ruined for the girl. it made her realize that hardly anyone was going to be there, so she has to be there for herself instead and take no shit from anyone.
in the end of her college life, she got a bachelorâs degree in art, but felt she isnât good enough yet. after taking different jobs for a few years, mia finally decided she wanted a new scenery.
thatâs when kaos came into her story. she saved up money from her full-time everyday jobs as well as commissions to afford a cheap, one-way ticket before packing her bags and moving in when she was twenty-three. there, she took a job as a bartender and so far, sheâs been enjoying the work. on her free time, mia continues to improve her art skills, however.
itâs been two years already and there have been times where mia considered living elsewhere, because of how she wasnât used to staying in one place for so long, but kaos just felt too nice to pass up. for once, she felt she deserved to be here.
tl;dr she grew up in las vegas, nv, had an abusive dad, and became rebellious, then eventually decided to do better during the end of her high school year and college years. however, as she made new friends that she considered family, they betrayed her in the end. now sheâs at kaos and knows thereâs hardly anyone she can rely on, but herself.
ii. details
PINTEREST
traits
+
audacious, showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks: sheâs fearless, always enjoys a challenge, and doesnât mind trying new things.
faithful, loyal, constant, and steadfast: if mia makes an acquaintance and they prove to be a true friend, then miaâs a friend for life. she may not show it, but sheâll be in a personâs corner no matter what.
valiant, possessing or showing courage or determination: mia isnât one to back down easily. if she wants something, itâll take a long while before she calls it quits. sheâs also quite brave, such as standing up for what she believes in and facing her fears.
-
fiery, having a passionate, quick-tempered nature: sheâs quick to make an arguments with just about anyone and anything. her anger also tends to get the best of her sometimes.
indelicate, having or showing a lack of sensitive understanding or tact: mia has an i donât care attitude when it comes to most people, so sheâll tell it like it is and not apologize for any rude comments.
promiscuous, having or characterized by many transient sexual relationships: she loves sex and isnât ashamed to show it.
aesthetic
black bralettes, a tiger growling, dark clothes all over the bedroom floor, hands gripping bedsheets, a messy hole in the wall, a sharp and clean knife, lipstick stain on a white mug after drinking black coffee, a yearbook filled with xâs, ripped up family photos the warmth of having someone by your side at night then feeling the cold loneliness in the morning, a ticking time bomb.
style
90% of the time, sheâll be wearing black, the other 10% is filled with dark red. inside her closet, youâd see lace clothing items, tops that show off cleavage, leather jackets, ripped denim. if i had to pick a character to base her fashion sense off of, iâd say it would be gigi from sex&drugs&rock&roll.
sheâs mostly seen with long, black hair down with the length past her shoulders and usually past her breasts too, but sometimes itâll be in-between her shoulders and breasts.
sheâs also usually seen wearing dark, red lipstick and with a cat winged eyeliner.
hobbies
during her free time, she can be seen either riding her motorcycle or sketching. after a long day and when she feels stressed or overly-irritated, sheâll go for a long drive (and passing over the speed limit) during the night. or sheâll be in her bed with a blanket over her as the AC is on high while she sketches on paper or draws on her tablet.
tattoos
she has this one to her right side.
this back tattoo.
then thereâs this one on the back of her left arm.
sheâs considering getting three more, but only has one idea of getting a kiss mark on her butt cheek.
sexuality
sheâs bisexual. she realized this in middle school when she was crushing on a girl and would pull her hair constantly, but she was one of the very few that mia hardly harmed because of her interest in the other.
misc
sheâs not fond of smoking because of how terrible the smell reminds her of casinos since her parents would frequent hotels at the strip in las vegas.
she mostly drinks socially or if sheâs having a truly horrible day. other than that, she prefers to not drink because she feels she can already have fun without the alcohol and has a slight fear that sheâll be addicted.
#kaos:intro#âââ â âș details âȘ đŸđ'đ đ·đđžđ¶đđđ đŸ'đ đđœđ đ·đđđ. â«
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Helicobacter 16
Every single time: In everything I write that suggests these two would get hitched, the JK-played character does the âmarry meâ asking. Every. Single. Time. I donât know why this makes such sense to me... I should probably think about flipping that script at some point, in some future narrative, so watch this space, I guess. (Iâm sticking with you for now, Tumblr, despite your repeated attempts to drive me away.) Anyway, previously on Helicobacter (in the fifteen! parts that came before this one, which are all available to you on this very judgy social-media platform), we learned that Myka had made a significant miscalculation, Helena can think surprisingly well on her feet, and raccoons are likely to get chatty about Pop-Tarts. Of course the only sensical thing Myka could do then was propose.
Helicobacter 16
Helena managed a weak laugh. She said, âDo you and I really need to enter into yet another faux engagement?â
âNo,â said Myka.
âThenââ Wait.
Myka nodded. âNow youâre getting it. And speaking of getting it: whoâs got it?â She swung her free hand around, in a gesture that seemed to encompass everyone in the room.
âIt? What is it? Who has what?â Helena asked.
âThe ring. I know itâs in this room.â
âWhat?â Helena felt she was losing her purchase on the idea that words were meant to make sense. âYou know a ring is in this room?â
Myka was solemn again: âI do.â
âDid you use that phrase intentionally?â Varsha asked. âIf so, itâs quite funny.â
âNot as funny as the story,â Abigail said.
âWhat story?â Helena demanded. âWhy is there always a story?â
Rick answered the latter question: âBecause life isnât a series of random collisions of atoms.â So helpful.
âIt might be,â Varsha told him.
âBut we couldnât perceive it that way, even if it were,â Steve told her in turn.
âIâm having trouble perceiving it in any way,â Helena lamented.
Myka, who hadnât released Helenaâs hand, pulled on it, drawing her attention back. âLet me help you perceive it my way. Itâs pretty simple: I bought a ring for you ages ago, mostly as a sort of... gesture of hope. To say âthereâs a future in which this will be possible.â But then I showed it to Abigail, and she said it was too risky for me to have it in my possession, because Iâd run into you at some point and feel like it was burning a hole in my pocket and just drop to the one knee, regardless of where and when.â She raised âdidnât youâ eyebrows at Abigail, who nodded. Myka went on, âI said that was ridiculous, but then one day I saw you down a hallway at City Hall, and I realized I was in fact about to sprint in your direction and do exactly what sheâd predicted, so I literally reversed course and went right to her and handed it over. And promised I wouldnât ask you if I didnât have it. Because even I need the occasional guardrail.â
Abigail snorted. âOccasional. Right.â To Helena, she said, âWe should apply for a federal grant to fund the guardrails-against-Helena project. Anyway, I said I couldnât hold it all the time, because then sheâd know exactly where it was, which was almost as bad, given that I didnât want to be rudely awakened in the middle of the night some night by some lovelorn lunatic who decided she just had to set phasers to nuptial. So I made her promise also not to ask you if she couldnât pinpoint its location, and we set up a committeeâat first just me and Steve, but after she read Rick in, we decided to draft him, tooâto rotate possession. Myka doesnât know the rotation or the schedule, which makes it hard for her to fight through the bureaucracy to get to it.â
âThatâs a clever disincentive,â Jane remarked, causing Helena to note that she had not, in fact, exited the inside-joke snowglobe just yet.
Abigail said, âI modeled it on the demonstration-permit regs. Theyâre so well thought out.â
âI wrote those,â Jane told her, and when Abigail offered her a disingenuous âyou donât say,â Jane bowed her head. She might have been glowering, laughing, or praying... she offered no clarity with her next words: âMy staff: the Machiavelli Players.â
Myka, seeming to resent that the spotlight kept shifting away from her, said, âAnyway, I almost did the asking on Saturday night, because it had to be in that room, too, given the committee. But I figured we were so close to getting the work thing fixedâand youâd probably be more inclined to say yes once we didâthat I should wait.â
âIâm the one whoâs got it now,â Rick said. âSort of ironic. And I was supposed to hand it off to Steve today.â
Helena looked to Steve. âBehind my back,â she said, âthis entire time?â and Steve had the grace to look at least a bit chagrined.
Myka said, âNot entire. It wasnât until after I told my mom the truth that I really made up my mind.â
âBut then you did?â Helena asked.
âBut then I did. Iâm serious. Youâre looking at me like you donât believe me, but Iâm serious.â
âIâm looking at you like...â Helena tried to find words to say about what she was feeling, words that might possibly be correct. She fought through what she recognized as a Myka-esque pause, search... then surrender. âYouâre right, like I donât believe you. Weâve spent only two nights together!â
âInfo that I for one didnât need,â Rick said. âOr want.â
âThis I can vote on,â Varsha agreed.
Steve said, hurriedly, âPassed by acclamation.â
Myka gave that attention-tug to Helenaâs hand. âIf we were fundamentalists, weâdâve spent zero nights together.â
âWe arenât fundamentalists,â Helena said. Of that, she was reasonably certain, but what it had to do with anything...
Now Myka blinked at Helena: a slow, soft, indulgent blink. âMy point is, depending on the circumstance, two is a lot.â
âWorld wars, for example,â Abigail offered.
âIsnât that an argument against their spending more nights together?â Liam asked her.
âEmperors Napoleon?â Abigail tried.
âNope, there were three of those,â Steve said, âbut maybe also part of an argument against? The French probably thought the first one was one too many.â
âWaterloo,â Helena muttered, because she still had no purchase on the situation, but defeat seemed a relevant concept.
âThat is a very good song,â Myka told her. âI refer you to the lyrics.â
âMamma Mia movies!â Liam exclaimed.
âThat just makes that âargument againstâ point stronger,â Steve said, and as Liam protested that he liked them, that there should be lots more, Steve gave him a look that Helena decodedâperhaps based on the personal experience of having sent very similar aspects in Mykaâs directionâas âyour questionable judgment makes me question my own judgment in finding you so appealing.â
Jeannie said, âHere, Iâll try something in a different genre: one of Mykaâs great-great-grandmothers was a mail-order bride. She hadnât even met her intended before the wedding.â
âI didnât know that. But they lived happily ever after?â Myka asked, with evident hope.
Jeannie shook her head. âProbably not. It was Colorado in the 1800s.â
Varsha clapped her hands lightly, her face a study in joy. âOne or both highly likely to have died of cholera!â Her enthusiasm for that outcome was... unsurprising.
âThat pile of âagainstâ points keeps getting bigger, guys,â Myka said, âso maybe leave this to me?â
âNo, no, the epidemiological point is that you most likely wonât die of cholera,â Varsha said.
Myka smiled, then squinted. âThatâs great, but... how is that an argument in favor of our spending more nights together? And/or living happily ever after?â
Varsha squinted back, saying, âIt isnât. Itâs a necessary condition for either or both of those outcomes to occur. Youâll have to make your own argument.â
âIâm trying,â Myka said. âGive me the ring, Rick.â
Rick shook his head. âCanât.â
âOf course you can. Itâs mine. And itâs about to be hers, I hope.â
Abigail said, âWe have to vote. The committee. It has to be unanimous. You read the bylaws.â
Myka closed her eyes. She breathed in slowly, then said, âYou cannot be serious.â
âIsnât that usually my line?â Helena askedâjoking, but not entirely.
Mykaâs grip on her hand tightened again. âI swear to god if you people donât let me put a ring on it, I will water-gun fake blood on each and every one of you, and that will happen at a time youâll find extremely inconvenient.â
âI move we hand it over,â Steve said.
âSeconded.â That was from Rick.
âI move we vote immediately on the motion,â Steve continued.
Rick again: âSeconded.â
âAye,â Steve said.
âAye,â Rick said.
Abigail said nothing.
âWhat are you waiting for?â Myka demanded.
âClean clothes,â Abigail told her. âSee, Iâve already been water-gunned. I kind of want to make you sweat.â
âIll-advised,â Jeannie said.
âWhy is everyone stealing my lines?â Helena complained.
Myka darted a glance at Helena, a glance of a quality suggesting that Helenaâs repeated noting of line-stealing might have been either immensely alluring or extravagantly irritatingâor possibly bothâand said to Abigail, âI swear. To god. A ring on this, or.â
Abigail sighed. âFine. Aye.â
âNow,â Myka told Rick.
Rick reached into his pocket, but in trying to extricate what was presumably the ring, he turned the fabric inside out. A loud clink resounded, as did an âoh jesusâ from him and a giggle from Abigail, and then he had dropped to his knees and was scrabbling at the floor, and Helena genuinely expected that in a moment, all of them would be examining the linoleum in great detail, for Myka now wore the expression of someone likely to issue a strongly worded decree about what had better be found right now... but Rick quickly bounced up. âHere,â he said to Myka before he looked directly at her face. âSorry,â he said, after he did.
She held the ring between the thumb and forefinger of her free hand and shook it at him. âYou had a diamond ring loose in your trouser pocket? This diamond ring? You are a ding-dong.â Rick looked for a moment as if he might take the foolâs path and protest... but he kept his mouth closed. Myka said, âGood choice,â and she gave the ring, a simple band upon which sat a smallish yet dazzlingly clear stone, to Helena, placing it in the hand she was not holding. âThere. Now do you believe me?â She paused. âAnd now will you say youâll marry me?â
Helena looked down at what she held. Could a diamond be content to be affixed to a ring? Happy, even, to be there? Because this oneâs shimmering clarity seemed not to bespeak mysterious depths, but rather to nestle it securely into its setting. The diamond knew its mind better than Helena knew her own... she cleared her throat. âIâve never been proposed to before,â she said.
That made Myka not tighten her hold on Helenaâs held hand, but gentle it. âThatâs because it was always meant to be me.â
That had to be true. It had felt so right to be engaged to marry Myka, even as fiction... Helena said that aloud.
âTold you,â Myka said, but she was not smug. âSee, you knew it even before I did.â
âI didnât buy a ring and set up a committee.â
âThatâs because Iâm the planner.â
âWhat does that make me?â Helena asked, and she did not know what Mykaâs answer would be. She didnât know what she wanted Mykaâs answer to be... other than right. But what was right? What was she in this improbable relationship?
âYou mean,â Jeannie said, âwhat does it relegate you to.â
Myka smiled at her mother. Then she smiled at Helena. âDreamer-in-chief,â she said with certainty. âYou know, you should put that on your business card. Steve, donât you think sheâd get more work that way?â
âSheâd get different work that way,â Steve said. âBut isnât the goal of all this to make sure she gets... similar work?â
With a small eyeroll, Myka said, âFine. Weâll relegate it to the vows: âDo you promise to faithfully execute the office of dreamer-in-chief? To keep dreaming up the never-fountains?ââ
Dreamer-in-chief. Perhaps anything Myka had said would have been the right answer, because perhaps it all was nothing moreâor less?âthan an inside-joke snowglobe. But why not stay in it? The fountain might not exist, but this could. Surely, after all they had been through, this could. Then there is... Helena cleared her throat again. âAs noted,â she said, âI didnât buy a ring.â
âCheapskate-in-chief,â Myka said, and that was even more right.
âBut will you marry me, too?â Helena asked. It was not what she ever would have planned to say today, but now she had said it. And she did not mean it as any push of problems into the future... no, it was a pull of problems. An invitation to them, in the present and in the future.
âTry and stop me, beautiful cheapskate. Just try.â Myka leaned back against her inadequate pillow, looking for all the world like a spoiled princeling, sure that the worldâor at least Helenaâwas hers for the taking. She was of course right, and Helena leaned in and kissed her, savoring it, savoring all of it, even the obvious absurdity, even the likelihood of additional, or at least eventual, catastrophe... âI havenât changed,â she still wanted to warn, but she still also remembered Mykaâs âmaybe you shouldnât have to.â This is how it feels, Charles might as well have been whispering in her ear, as the right wrecking ball knocks you over.
When the kiss ended, Myka didnât, to Helenaâs surprise, return to smiling. Instead she blinked overwet eyes. The planes of her face were ruddy. âYou really do believe it,â she said. Perhaps not so spoiled after all, the princeling...
âI do,â Helena assured her.
Varsha said, âThatâs funny too! Even more so, because I donât think you said it intentionally.â
âI have to confess I find it a little hard to follow what you think is funny,â Rick told her.
Helena echoed, âHard to follow. I have to confess that I find the turnâturns?âmy life has taken a bit hard to follow.â
Myka sighed. âIf weâre owning up, then I have to confess that I find myself contemplating more often than is probably healthy how adorable this cheapskate looks in a hardhat.â
âWhat?â Helena said, startled. âHow do you know that?â
âThatâs the part thatâs a little hard to follow, and Iâll tell you later, but I note that you arenât disputing your adorableness.â
âIââ
âThat better end with âlove you.ââ
âIt does,â Helena said. âAnd you knew that before I did.â She had been holding the ring in the palm of her own free hand, where Myka had placed it. Now, to substantiate her words, she loosed her right hand from Mykaâs and used it to place that unassuming band onto the appropriate finger, where it fit as if, yes, it had always been intended to live there. She held her hand up, facing its back, and thus the confident stone, toward Myka. âWell? What do you say to that?â
âEverything,â Myka said, and Helena laughed and kissed her again, because of course she did say everything, anything and everything, all of it exactly what Helena neededâand a reasonable majority of the time wantedâto hear.
When this kiss ended, Helena heard a small sniffle, and she looked up to see Jeannie dabbing at her eyes. âIâm not surprised this got to me,â Jeannie said, âbecause witnessing my daughter so overcome is, to use an inadequate word, rare... but I didnât know it would get to anybody else.â She looked at Jane. âIâm glad to know she works for someone with such a heart.â
Helena observed, with astonishment, that Jane was touching her own eyes with her sleeve. Jane said, âI did mention it isnât made of stone. And with that, Iâm leaving, before anyone mistakes me for a sentimental fool.â
âToo late,â Abigail informed her, with a laugh that seemed dangerously near a cackle.
Jane confirmed the danger with a raised eyebrow. âSpread that around, Ms. Machiavel, and I will show you how fast a heart can harden.â She then made an exit of a sort that should have been accompanied by a retinue.
Rick sighed. âI guess that means Mykaâs cured, and we better get back to work.â
âUnless someone in this room would like to develop some sort of interesting infection,â Varsha suggested.
âIâd rather my day be boring, thanks,â Rick told her.
Varsha gave his cheek a pat that, if bestowed by anyone else, would have seemed overly aggressive. âOf course you would, wallpaper. See how soothing he is!â
Once Rick and Varsha had gone, Liam said, âI guess theyâre right. Thereâs only so many billable hours I can give up in order to âvisit a sick friend.â Or visit a âsickâ friend. Or whatever it is weâve been doing.â
âItâs strange but nice to have seen you in the middle of the day,â Steve said.
âHeart-melter. Maybe I wonât badger you to watch Here We Go Again tonight.â
âWaterloo... knowing my fate is to be with you,â Steve sang softly, and Helena added âSteve singingâ to the list of seemingly impossible things that had happened today. He turned to her with a slightly apologetic, self-conscious smile. âIf I canât concentrate this afternoon because thatâs running through my head, itâs your fault.â
âAccepted,â Helena said. âI think we can safely assume some similar words will be interfering with my thoughts.â
âObviously, mine too,â said Myka.
âAnd mine,â Liam agreed. âThanks a lot, honey. Iâm supposed to be writing a closing argument. What if I accidentally put in âI feel like I win when I loseâ?â
Steve shrugged. âDepends. How many ABBA fans are on your jury?â
âThat isnât something we commonly get around to in voir dire.â
âThen I think weâve all learned a lesson or two today, havenât we? About good questions to ask,â Steve said. He directed a significant look at Helena and Myka, then threw an even more significant one toward Liam. âIn particular circumstances.â
âIâve changed my mind,â Liam said as they departed. âI will badger you to watch Here We Go Again. Every night for the next week. Or maybe the next year. Or decades....â
Abigail remarked, âTheyâre almost as cloying as the two of you, but with less drama. Is that good or bad? Anyway, Iâm going to bring this back around to âclean clothes,â and the fact that Iâd like some, so I shouldââ
âThey have lovely scrubs here,â Helena told her. âThe color of an emergent bruise.â
Myka said, âIâll admit I got a little overenthusiastic with the âblood.â Itâs a lot more fun water-gunning it than actually producing it myself. Although I did end up engaged to the most beautiful cheapskate in the world, both times...â
âIt seems entirely unfair to Abigail that you were the only one in possession of a weapon,â Helena said.
Abigail nodded at Helena with enthusiasm. âSo true. Unfair to you, too, that first time, even if the weapon was her gut. Weâll have to get back at her somehowâI know, a group paintball tournament! Maybe make it an annual thing. For your anniversary.â
âThat is the best idea ever,â Myka said to her. Then she turned to Helena and said, as if referring to the sweetest of intimacies, âIsnât it.â
âPaintball,â Helena said, and did the tone she took with Myka inevitably sound that same tenderness? âDo you know what Charles says to his wife, Jane, on a regular basis?â
âUnfortunately, he didnât tell me. Do you want me to guess?â
âActually... Iâd love to hear your guess.â
âHe says âJane, isnât my sister so very lucky to have found Myka, and vice versa.ââ
That made Helena laugh. âAlthough youâve produced a tolerable version of his voice, I donât believe he does say that. Not regularly.â
âWell, give it time. What does he really say?â
âHe says, âWhat a disaster our first meeting was.ââ
âDid she really run into his car? Or was he shining me on?â
âAnd then he thought to return the favor,â Helena affirmed, âto make sure he had her romantic attention. He didnât tell you that part?â
âGod, no. You Wellses are weird.â
âI talked him out of it!â Helena protested.
Myka, doing princeling-against-the-pillow again, drawled, âThatâs your evidence to the contrary.â
Helena said to Jeannie, âDo you know, occasionally your daughter sounds exactly like her father. Who has that irrational fear of raccoons, as Iâve so recently come to understand, so if family weirdness is genuinely on the tableââ
âI do know they sound alike,â Jeannie interrupted, âbut itâs nice to be reminded of it. Do you sound like your father?â
Helena smiled. âNo, but I do sound very like my brotherâas Myka has remarked, and which is pertinent, because Charles always follows his initial disaster comment with, âWhat a disaster I would be in the absence of that disaster.ââ
âThatâs sweet,â said the princeling, âbut still weird.â
âMy point is that I suspect Iâll be following his lead in these ritual utterances as well.â
âI donât need clean clothes,â Abigail announced. âI need insulin. Is there a special British kind? Because you never sound like youâre made of sugar, but you are, and that makes it worse. Thatâs it for me.â She paused at the door, turned around, and pointed at Myka. âPop-Tarts are one thing, but grapefruitâs another.â Then she pointed at Helena. âAnd raccoons are one thing, but eleven of you, nobody could take.â She swept out, and Helena suspected she would have wanted her departure accompanied by dramatic exit music.
âGrapefruit,â said Myka. âSheâs said that to me before, in relation to you.â
âIt has vaguely to do with koans. Iâll tell you the story some other time,â Helena said.
âWhy is there always a story?â Myka said, a gentle mock.
âIâm told it has to do with atoms.â
Jeannie said, âColliding, but not randomly. She was so excited when I finally found that book of yours.â
âI suspect she was primarily pleased to have been right. In her identification.â
âWell, sheâs Myka,â Jeannie allowed. âBut also... she was overcome. Like today. By you. Iâm really not giving away any secret when I tell you this matters to her in an unprecedented wayâbut even if it were a secret, Iâd tell you, because of that unprecedented mattering.â
âIâm in the room, Mom.â
Jeannie ignored Myka. She leveled a not-quite-benign gaze at Helena and said, âTreat her well. You seem like you willâI want to believe that you willâbut please.â
Not precisely a talk of shovels, but near enough. âI will work hard at it,â Helena told her. âIâm very good at working hard.â
Myka leaned against Helena again. She said, âMm. In a selfish, Emperors-Napoleon sense, Iâm glad you arenât overly good at being good.â
Not in front of your mother, Helena thought at Myka. She tried to show, by means of a severe brow-furrow directed at the very contented woman at her side, that she was thinking this instruction, but that made Myka laugh, and that in turn made Helena want to forget about who they were in front of.
âI clearly need to give you two a minute,â Jeannie said, and that was, from Helenaâs perspective, an embarrassingly accurate reading of the roomâs temperature. âBut as I understand it, everybodyâs supposed to get back to work. And you might want to remember that the idea behind this whole thing was for everybody to keep having work to get back to...â The door closed behind her.
Guilt: Helena had been so, so uncharitable in her initial assessment of Mykaâs Rick-promoting mother, yet Jeannie had, now, provided them with their first instance of clean, unencumbered intimacy. She does want Myka to be happy, Helena now thought. With someone. And she genuinely seems to believe that I am that someone...
That they didnât lunge for each other seemed, paradoxically, a good sign. A marker of this new reality.
âOne minute,â Helena said. âOur first real minute.â
âSpeaking of whatâs real, tell me, do you really want this?â Myka asked. Helena moved her jaw in disbelief, but Myka went on, âI can take it if you donât, but only if you tell me right now.â
Helena held her hand up again. âHere is what Iâll tell you right now: I will remove this ring for no reason other than a medical emergency?â
âThat could just mean you like rings,â Myka said.
âHave you seen me wear a ring before today?â
âThat could just mean you like this ring,â Myka said, but she touched the ring, began playing with Helenaâs fingers.
âI have no right answer anymore.â
Myka looked up. âYou do if you kiss me.â
So Helena did.
âSee?â Myka said, some length of time later. âNow Iâm persuaded. Want to persuade me some more? Maybe really, really fast? I think from my side of things, I can promiseââ
âNo,â Helena interrupted, because if Myka kept talking, the answer was going to be yes, because Helena certainly did want to persuade her some more.
A little pout, a pretty blink. âNo?â
âWell, not no,â Helena conceded.
âNot no? Maybe Iâm wrong, but that seems like a double negative, which Iâm mostly sure works out in the math to be a positive, soââ
Helena had to interrupt again. âI mean, no, but not in perpetuity. No for the present moment.â
âYou pick the worst times to be good at being good, but fine. Failing that, I donât suppose youâd want to just go for the whole cheese plate? Fly to Vegas and get married tonight? Bellagio... fountains.... something like, there is no fountain, then there are lots of fountains, and they dance or light up or do some otherââ
Helena kissed her again, and this one was sharp and quick, for it was meant both to stop her and to stop the idea, which was, for all its absurdity, ridiculously compelling: fly away and change everything yet again. She remarked, trying to lighten the idea away, âWeâve both said âI do,â as Varsha found so amusing. Perhaps weâre married already.â
âIn some version of the world, I bet we are.â
âI would in some version of the world marry you this minute. But I think weâd both enjoy getting to know each other just a bit better first... more importantly, however, if Charles isnât invited to the event, heâll riot.â
âAll by himself?â
âThat would be very Charles. Also, however, my parents.â
âTheyâll riot?â
âDoubtful. Well, my mother might. But I would... want them here. For such an occasion. The right one.â
âIf that committee hadnât let me give you this ring, I wouldâve rioted.â
âOnce I became accustomed to the idea, so would I.â
Myka said, âI sprang it on you. Iâm sorry.â She kissed the ring where it lived on Helenaâs finger.
As severely as she could, given the kiss, Helena said, âYou are in no way sorry.â
âSee, you know me pretty well already. I love that I sprang it on you. I also love that you sprang it on me, reciprocally.â
âIt did take me a moment.â
âScariest moment of my life.â
âYou donât mean that,â Helena said.
âMaybe you donât know me so well after all. What if youâd said no?â
âYou never genuinely entertained that as a possibility.â
âI did though. The look on your face right at first? I donât ever want to see that look again.â She pulled Helena to her. This kiss said Donât frighten me.
Helena didnât want to do that, but she did want to tell the truth. She said, âIâll be honest: Iâm not sure this will work as perfectly as I want it to. As some of our interactions have suggested it might.â
âThat you want it to work perfectly is a pretty good start... plus that you think that some of our interactions have suggested it might, that doesnât hurt. I do too, by the way. Want that. And think that.â
Trying to maintain her honesty, Helena asked, âIs it setting us up for failure? Nothing is perfect.â
âItâs all about goals. Whatâs failure? Aim for perfect, hit pretty damn wonderful.â And then she clearly decided to tell some truth of her own. âI donât know whatâs going to happen. But nothing will if we donât start, so letâs.â
âIâm fairly certain we have. Look at whatâs on my hand.â
âI had moments when I thought about having bought this thingâthis thing that was too dangerous for me to have in my possessionâand I wondered who in the world I was, who I thought I was, to even consider something like that. Something like that, with someone like you.â
These insecurities... they were Helenaâs fault. âWho were you?â she asked, not at all rhetorically, for she intended to give a convincing, sure answer. âSomeone with the fearlessness to consider, to push for, a better future. Meanwhile all I did was feel sorry for us. That was all someone like me could do: sit and wait for someone fearless like you to change the circumstance.â
âFearless, foolish... but no matter how foolish it was, youâre right, itâs on your hand. I like it there.â She stopped, seemed to consider whether she wanted to go on. âHm. Did you wear a ring before?â
âNo, Iâve never worn one. I did the proposing. Gave the ring.â Did Myka want the reciprocal question? Helena went ahead and asked, âDid you? Wear one?â
This occasioned a sigh. âWeirdly, no. The wedding ring was going to be his grandmaâs, and we were vaguely planning to retrofit something to go with it. I didnât press the issueâdidnât care enough to. That shouldâve helped clue me in, shouldnât it?â That was said with a wry twist of lip, not a smile.
Of course both their pasts contained unheeded clues... âI think itâs fair to say that weâve both made some errors.â
âI think itâs fair to say that we both failed upward.â
What an exquisite thing to say in this context, about what had gone wrong in the pastâso exquisite that Helena could barely stand it. She felt a rush of willingness to take Myka up on the idea of being fast, right here... but that rush was an impulse, not an imperative. Instead, Helena got up from the bed. Stepped away. Regarded the woman still in it. Her face, its lines so deft, its beauty barely contained in a too-precise space, would always raise that impulseâno, imperativeâto protect.
Pale, sick Myka, in a bed such as this one. Would Helena ever cease to see that day superimposed on Mykaâs face and body? And would Helena ever cease to hear, inside Mykaâs voice, an echo of that dayâs weakest, most distressed entreaty: Will you be here when I wake up?
Of course I will, Helena had told her, and was that when she herself had made up her mind? When you wake up, Iâll be the first thing you see. Helena hadnât known it then, but she had already begun speaking the vows. Keeping them. âIn sickness...â she now said.
âDonât worry,â Myka told her. âIâll inflict plenty of health on you, too. Not to mention their friends: richer, poorer, and better.â
âWhat about âworseâ?â
That made Myka smile with mischief. âNow whoâs the one tempting fate?â
âDestiny,â Helena corrected.
Myka kept smiling, but she also narrowed her eyes. âHm. Now that sounds like a koan.â
âWhat does?â
âI asked, âWhoâs the one tempting fate?â, and âDestiny,â you said. Thatâs the one tempting fate.â
âBut I meantââ
âSo the koan is, what happens when destiny tempts fate?â
Helena said, immediately, because it was true, âCharles would say, a car wreck.â
âWhat would you say?â
Helena would have smiled, largely and with intent, but she was already doing that, and Myka was doing that too, and Helena suspected they both would keep on doing that. She shook her head and exhaled, a little ripple-chuckle of jubilation. âWhat happens when destiny tempts fate?â she echoed, and Myka nodded. âWhat would I say?â Myka nodded again, her smile, impossibly, even larger. Now Helena shrugged. There was only one answer, so she gave it: âDonât say I didnât warn you.â
TBC (epilogically in a few scenes that would play over the closing credits...)
#bering and wells#Warehouse 13#fanfic#Helicobacter#part 16#AU week#how did this thing get so lengthy?#it's an example of how you can produce a work of some size and design#even when all you have at your disposal timewise#are the nonwork interstices of a truly bonkers several months#and I'll say again that I know this is a silly story#but sometimes you just need to somersault around#and imagine people saying absurd things to each other#inconsequential little absurd things#P.S. There will be one more little explanatory twisty twist at the end#because you never know how far back fate and destiny and karma set their traps#they are patient
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Really quick and messy Fae AU ficlet with Phoenix and Ema, written in about an hour and a half, trying to get myself back into the swing of the AU.
On the sixteenth of April, a box arrives at the Wright & Co. Law Offices.
Phoenix is suspicious of it, because Phoenix is suspicious of most things. It makes life in Los Angeles easier to trust nothing and no one, a conclusion Phoenix came to the hard way and has remained true to since. He examines the box on the doorstep without touching it; seeing no enchantments or curses and a European return address, he gingerly carries it inside and sets it on the coffee table.
(He would be much more suspicious if it came from anywhere in the LA area, because this is the hotbed and haven of the Court, and Phoenix inextricably tied to its royal family, Maya with her rows of sharksâ teeth and Pearlâs opalescent shiny skin, Iris insubstantial like ash and Mia and Dahlia who Phoenix does not know what they looked like beneath glamour. Thereâs a second Court, Maya says, one that her family once split from, somewhere in the Himalayas, but she doesnât know more about it or worry more about it than that, so Phoenix filed the information away in the back of his mind to remember if he ever meets someone or receives something strange from that part of Asia. But Europe does not fall in the area of his suspicious -- Europe was home to Miles Edgeworth and Franziska von Karma, the two most solidly grounded people in Phoenixâs life, the two who look the same no matter what set of eyes he looks at them through.)
He cuts open the box and finds on top a letter, and beneath that, four Swiss chocolate bars that do not necessitate this box that is half again their length and deeper than them all stacked. The letter is written on lined paper torn from a notebook, the curly torn edge still attached.
Mr. Wright, it reads, and he almost recognizes the handwriting, a messy, loopy, childâs scrawl, and a quick run-down of his tiny circle of acquaintances and who among them are based in Europe lands him on the identity of the sender.
I lost the password for and got locked out of the email that I gave you back when, and Iâd lost yours, so I had to snail mail but thought maybe itâs better for me to give you a box to start.
Phoenix sits down on the couch. Thereâs a few pages folded together.
Anyway I was home for vacation/as a translator for one of my professors - I get a scholarship for it! Sorry I didnât get to see you. Didnât have time, but I got to investigate a bit with Mr. Edgeworth. He seems to be doing good. I donât know how much you talk. I helped him and his assistant on a couple cases and saw Detective Gumshoe too. Itâs really helped my resolve to be a forensics investigator. (Sorry that Iâll be going up against you someday, but Iâve got to be on the prosecutionâs side. I expect you to defend on all the cases I work on! It can be like a reunion.) Talking w Mr. Edgeworthâs assistant got me thinking, because she
Wait, his assistant? He has an assistant? It must be a new development -- in the past two months, since Phoenix last saw him. Ema canât mean Franziska -- thereâs no way Franziska would ever let a misconception like that take shape.
(Phoenix hasnât spoken to Edgeworth since February. Itâs probably time to reach back out.)
because she was talking about difficulties of what if thereâs magic in the case that needs to be investigated. So I got an idea when we were talking about Luminol, and I was thinking about you and your magatama.
Phoenix does not like where this is going.
If itâs not too much trouble, can you get two magatama and mail them to me? I looked at mail rules and stuff and thereâs no regulations about sending magical objects in the mail, I couldnât find. You told me they werenât particularly hard to make and the price shouldnât be too steep, but youâre a lawyer and good with deals and contracts and Iâm not so much. I didnât think I should risk contacting anyone myself. I didnât think youâd be happy about that. I need these to further the cause of science. Youâll be a great help. I can site cite you as my research assistant if I publish any papers on it. (The chocolate is not a bribe. I thought you might like it.) Sincerely, Ema Skye PS I have a new email
In spite of it, Phoenix laughs. âOh, Ema,â he sighs, shaking his head, and then he glances quickly behind himself, because he feels like something or someone is at his shoulder. The office is empty, because of course it is, but he knows Mia would be interested, and definitely once she heard Emaâs name.Â
He does admire Emaâs tenacity, and her enthusiasm, and that sheâs at least mindful enough to know that she shouldnât go out-of-the-blue trying to summon one of the fae to get a stash of magatama. (And that apparently part of her litmus is whether Phoenix would be disappointed in her.)
Taking the last page of the letter with him, he goes over to Miaâs desk and boots up the computer. Itâs slow, but he has no inclination to get a new one. Heâll use it until it explodes. His money can be better put to other things, like groceries. He doesnât use it enough to make a new one a worthwhile investment.
He pulls up a new email window and plugs in Emaâs address.
Ema, What exactly do you want two magatama for? Iâm not going to consider anything without knowing what your plan is and advising you on whether itâs dangerous. -Phoenix
He waters Charley and picks a few pens up off the floor -- he doesnât remember dropping them and not picking them back up and wonders if Maya appears in the night to scatter things -- and when he gets back to the desk he already has a response.
Mr. Wright. I think I have an ingenius solution for most investigators not having the sight. Iâm going to mount hte magatama on a glasses frame for hands free investigating. I also want to see if I can use sandpaper/shop tools to cut open the hole in the center so itâs easier to see thru. I want to know if the exact shape of the magatama is important for its magical prowess and if it loses its power if parts of it are cut off. I think four might actually be a better number for the first batch. It gives me room to mess up. Thanks, Ema
Phoenix rubs his eyes and feels a headache approaching.
If you were going to try modifying it I wouldnât recommend using anything metal, even if itâs not iron. Sandpaper would take longer but less risk of a bad reaction. But also, no.
Itâs a really interesting question, actually, and Phoenix suddenly, badly, wants to know the answer, but he canât condone the risk. Ema might draw attention to herself with the magatama, by altering them, or worse, attention from someone that wasnât Maya or Pearl (because they are the only ones Phoenix would ask for a magatama) by her closer proximity to the Himalayas than Kurain. Or worse, she might succeed in making the glasses, wear them, and See things she shouldnât and acquire bad attention that way. Itâs rude to stare at the fae through a magatama -- the one rule for trying is donât get caught which is difficult when itâs such an obvious and blatant motion -- and he fears that while there are no rules for a subtle magatama, one that doesnât look it, the result might be even worse. Not only would she be staring, but Ema would also be trying to hide it, to get away with something she shouldnât.
(Itâs just scientific curiosity, he knows, nothing she means to be harmful, but They might not see it that way.)
Please, Mr Wright, itâs science! Itâs important! Donât you want to know? Iâll just take one to start with. It could really help our justice system and make sure that even magic isnât above the law and isnât getting away with crime.
He puts his head in his hands. God, Emaâs probably eighteen, now, isnât she? Sheâs probably too old for him to petition to legally adopt her and bring her back to LA to keep an eye on her. Her extended family probably wouldnât stand for it, anyway. He wonders what Lana would think.
I think itâs a clever idea, but too risky for you. I donât want to see you getting hurt or locked in a bad deal or ending up like me. Promise me you wonât try and get any magatama yourself.
Mia likes to bind promises made in this office, make them stay true, and Phoenix wonders if that will work when one of them isnât here, when Ema is on another continent, when Phoenix asks for the promise in electronic words. This isnât honest of him, to try and lock her with magic into a promise, and for your own good is a slippery slope where naught but ash and bones lie at the bottom.
But Phoenix also spent a year living with my fault a mantra beating in his head, telling him that chosen death was my fault, and he was the one to introduce Ema to magic, to magatamas, to Sighted eyes, and if in investigating that she gets in over her head â
My fault.
He reads over his email again, after sending it, after he canât take back the words, and it surprised him how much of his heart he laid out. I donât want to see you ending up like me. Heâs thought that, at Ema and Edgeworth and Franziska, but never said it. Itâs easier for that sentiment to escape through his fingers than from his lips.
(He should try emailing Edgeworth but is afraid of what he might find himself able to say.)
Okay, okay, geez. Youâre really serious on this. I like my soul where it is, tho, you donât need to worry about that. Iâm not gonna give it up for a science experiment but once Iâm home and a real forensic scientist Iâm coming to your office and hitting you up for this experiment because I still think itâs really important even if youâre gonna be an old fuddy about it.
No oneâs ever accused him of being old before, though admittedly he thinks that being old is a blessing he wonât actually ever be afforded.
Good, good. So howâs school going? What were the cases you investigated with Edgeworth about? I didnât know he had an assistant.
She probably knows this is a clumsy redirect, something to distract her, and she doesnât respond until the next day â he thinks sheâs mad at her until she sends back a novel-length response detailing the specifics of the crime scenes, evidence discovered, culprits, and methods.
In the next few days itâs suddenly much, much harder to keep a normal conversation going, to avail himself of anything but puzzling out the indistinct pieces of the Gramarye case that has left him unmoored and adrift, but the sporadic times he does manage to keep responding to Ema, he doesnât mention it.
She probably knows the Gramarye name â everyone in LA does, the local coven like cryptids who appear when desperately needed to cut little dangerous deals. And if he mentions Gramarye sheâs probably going to think magic crime and sheâs going to return to the thought of the glasses â
Safer to keep her separate from that. Safer to keep everyone separate from that.
He only learns from Apollo and Trucy that sheâs returned to the States, is working down at the precinct and on crime scenes now.
She doesnât appear on his doorstep to bug him for a magatama.
#fae au tag#fic: the seelie of kurain#this is mostly of no consequences but there's a few new tidbits of worldbuilding#the stuff about a second Court will get spun into the main fic sooner or later and i've mentioned it in my extra discussion posts#but ema taking a scientific approach to magic has been something i've been thinking about and this was a thing on my mind#her idea here will probably come up in the main fic too. she'll be making her first major appearance soon#fae au extras
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eighteen going on extinct 17/20
Kurt Fabray just wants to relax after a tough week at school, but that is shown to be impossible when he realizes that his absent father has once again blown into town. Not wanting to spend more time around him than necessary, Kurt goes to his old babysitters house, the one place he feels safe when his father is in town. While there, he stumbles upon a secret he knows he was never meant to find out - one that could change the entire course of his life.
An AU very loosely based on Mamma Mia.
Warning for this one about vague discussion of past underage and non-explicitly identified dub-con.
Hope you all enjoy :DÂ I'm hoping to update once more this week :)
Previous Chapter  |  Read on AO3
The ride to Blaineâs house is absolute torture. Blaine keeps a hand on Kurtâs thigh the entire ride there, every now and then slipping it dangerously close to Kurtâs dick. Itâs the absolute best tease, and it makes Kurtâs heart race.
They practically run to Blaineâs house when they get off the bus, tripping over each other once they get in the house. âShoes,â Blaine whispers as Kurt pushes him against the door, stopping him from kissing the daylights out of him like he wants to. âWe should take our shoes off, so we donât struggle later.â
âWell, arenât you just full of amazing ideas.â
âI am,â Blaine grins. âYou want to hear another one?â
âAlways,â Kurt says, kicking his shoes off.
âWe go down to my room, and I give you the best blowjob youâve ever received.â
Kurt groans, pressing their foreheads together. âI love that idea,â he whispers, kissing Blaine lightly. âCan I make one request, though?â
âOf course,â Blaine replies, chasing after Kurtâs lips.
âAfter you give me the best blowjob Iâve ever received, you have to let me give you the best blowjob youâve ever received.â
Blaine grins. âDone,â he says, taking Kurtâs hand in his, and leading him down to his room.
Kurt doesnât know what he likes better: the sight of Blaine on his knees in front of him, mouth wrapped perfectly around his cock, or the sight of Blaine staring down at him as Kurt bobs his head up and down his dick.
Kurt barely breathes the entire time Blaine has his cock in his mouth, hand clutching at the back of Blaineâs neck, trying to stop himself from fucking into Blaineâs amazing mouth.
Itâs easier to breathe when heâs the one on his knees. He actually really loves giving head, something he only seems to realize as he sinks down around Blaineâs cock. He holds Blaineâs ass tightly in his hands (and wow, heâs definitely going to be paying more attention to that part of him next time) and encourages Blaine to pump in and out lightly. Blaine makes the most amazing sounds heâs ever heard as he fucks Kurtâs mouth. It makes Kurt want to stay down there forever.
Of course, soon enough theyâre both sated and spent, cuddling on Blaineâs bed under the covers.
âIâm sorry I made you wait so long for that,â Blaine whispers. âTo be honest, Iâve been dying to get your dick in my mouth for weeks.â
âWhat is with you and your dirty mouth?â Kurt asks, pinching Blaineâs side lightly and making him laugh. âI thought you didnât like to cuss.â
âIâm full of surprises,â Blaine wiggles his eyebrows, and Kurt grins.
âI canât wait to find out every single one.â
âI canât wait for that either,â Blaine says, cuddling closer.
âAnd by the way, you donât have to apologize for âmaking me wait,â or whatever,â Kurt says. âYou had a rule in place, and it was in place for a good reason. Itâs so much better to get together now, when you know you wonât be moving away at any momentâs notice.â
âYouâre so amazing,â Blaine says. âSo amazing.â
Kurt pulls Blaine even closer and presses a kiss to his hair, trying to ignore the guilt pooling in his gut once more. âNo, Blaine,â he whispers. âYouâre the amazing one.â
They cuddle until they hear the front door opening, which causes them to jump out of bed and shove their clothes back on in a frantic rush. Thankfully theyâre both fully dressed by the time Burt knocks on Blaineâs door to ask him if heâs ready for supper.
âYeah, for sure,â Blaine calls back. âJust so you know, Kurt is here, so you know. Make sure thereâs enough supper for three.â
Burt doesnât reply for a moment, then says, âDidnât we have a rule about bringing boys over without telling me?â
Blaine rolls his eyes and calls back, âItâs just Kurt.â
âI know,â Burt says. âWho do you think I meant when I made that rule?â
Blaine blushes, and Kurt laughs.
âSorry, Mr. Hummel,â Kurt calls, even though it feels weird, so goddamn weird.
âJust get up here, you two. No more shenanigans.â
âThere were no shenanigans,â Blaine protests as he and Kurt walk up the stairs.
âYeah, right,â Burt says as soon as he lays eyes on them. âNice hickey.â Blaine squeaks and slams his hand over the forming bruise. Kurt chuckles at him until Burt turns to him and calmly says, âYour shirtâs inside-out, bud.â
Kurt squeaks as well, something he didnât think he was even capable of doing, and quickly takes his shirt off and puts it back on the right way. Burt just shakes his head and heads to the kitchen, calling out, âFrom now on, your door stays open when Kurt is around.â
âYes, sir,â Blaine says back, blushing bright red. âSorry, sir.â
Kurt can hear Burt chuckling, and whispers to Blaine, âIâm glad somebody is getting something good out of this situation.â
Blaine instantly pouts. âAre you saying the blowjob I gave you wasnât good?â
Before Kurt can reply, they hear Burt shout, âHa! No shenanigans, my ass,â which just makes Blaine blush harder, and Kurt burst out laughing.
Despite the awkwardness from earlier, dinner is absolutely lovely. There is something tugging at Kurtâs stomach the entire time, begging him to blurt out what he knows, but he canât bring himself to do it. Not when Burt and Blaineâs decision to become a family is so recent. Not when he and Blaine have finally moved beyond mere friendship.
Not when he knows it would ruin the amazing dynamic they all currently have.
Kurt keeps falling in and out of the conversation, often getting distracted by the simple way that Burt and Blaine interact. Sometimes itâs just Blaine that distracts him â after all, he did just have his cock inside of that gorgeous mouth.
Blaine is usually the one who draws him back in, either with a nudge to the shin, or a forceful, âYou agree with me, right Kurt?â
Near the end of dinner, though, itâs Burt who draws Kurt out of yet another dazed state, with the simple words, âI just know Lizzie would have loved you.â
He looks up sharply, sees Blaine smiling happily, and blurts, âIs that your wife?â
Burt looks over, surprised. âWhat?â
âLizzie,â Kurt says. âWas she your wife?â Blaine is staring at him with wide eyes, so Kurt tries to shrug it off, excusing himself with a nonchalant, âI saw the picture in the living room.â
Much to his surprise, Burt just smiles. âYeah, thatâs Lizzie. She was the love of my life, my other half. She really would have loved Blaine.â
Blaine looks like he wants to get back on that track, but Kurt canât stop himself. Not now that he knows he could finally be getting somewhere regarding Burtâs mysterious past with Kurtâs mother. âWhat happened to her?â he asks, probably a little too forcefully. âIf you donât mind me asking,â he quickly adds when Blaine kicks his shin under the table.
âItâs fine, Blaine,â Burt says, smiling softly. âI donât mind you asking, Kurt,â he continues. He looks Kurt directly in the eye as he says, âShe was sick. Cancer. She passed away a year after we got married.â
âOh, my god,â Blaine whispers. âBurt, I had no ideaâŠâ
âWell, you never asked,â Burt teases gently.
âStill,â Blaine puts his hand on Burtâs forearm. âThatâs⊠oh, my god.â
Burt shrugs. âI knew it would happen. She was sick when we got married. Hell, she was sick when we got engaged. I always knew that was how it would end up.â
âIs that why you ended it with my mother?â
You could hear a pin drop. Kurt doesnât dare look up, not wanting to see the shocked look on Blaineâs face, or the potentially angry look on Burtâs. Still, he canât regret asking the question. Due to the recent developments in his life, he feels like he needs to know about this, and clearly his mother isnât going to tell him any time soon.
âSo she did tell you,â Burt says after several seconds of silence. âI thought she might have.â
Kurt raises his eyes quickly, then looks away again the second he meets Burtâs eye.
âNo, Kurt,â Burt says, voice still soft. âYour mother and I had already ended our affair when I found out Lizzie was sick.â
âSo you did cheat on her, then,â Kurt says, eyes raising quickly. âOn your wife.â
Burt shakes his head. âShe dumped me a few weeks before I met Quinn,â he says. âI found out later that it was because she knew she was sick and didnât want to put me through it, but at the time I was just angry. It felt like it came out of nowhere. And then Quinn was there, andâŠâ he shakes his head again. âYou must really think Iâm a creep, huh?â
Kurt pushes his plate a little bit away from himself, for lack of anything else to do. âI mean. She would have been so young, and youâre clearly older than herâŠâ
âI know,â Burt says. âThat was why we ended things. Because she told me she was twenty-one, but I found out she was actually still in high school. I feltâŠâ Kurt looks up in time to see Burt shutting his eyes, face pursed in disgust. âI felt like the worst human being in the world when I found out,â he finishes. âAnd then I found out Lizzie was sick, andâŠâ
âYou donât have to talk about this,â Blaine says, giving Kurt a hard look. âIf it makes you uncomfortableââ
âNo, itâs fine, really,â Burt says. âItâs his mom, he deserves to know what happened.â
âHis mom can tell him that,â Blaine whispers.
âShe isnât, though,â Kurt says. Blaine looks over at him, still clearly annoyed with the turn the conversation has taken. âSheâs refused to tell me ever since I told her I met you. She keeps avoiding the subject or coming up with excuses.â He fiddles with the tablecloth a little. âIâm sorry I brought it up,â he says. âI just needed to know the truth.â
And he does. The truth is so fucking clear to him now that Burt has told him what happened. Keeping Burt a secret from Kurt, insisting that Puck was Kurtâs father, keeping Finn from doing a paternity test⊠He understands everything now.
âIâm sorry,â Kurt says, standing up. âI, uh. I have to go.â
âKurt,â Blaine says, standing as well. âYou just forced my dad to reveal a deep, dark secret from his past, and youâre just going to bolt?â
Kurt smiles at Blaineâs wording, then glances down at Burt to see him smiling, too.
âYour dad?â Burt asks, voice raspy.
âIââ Blaine flushes. âI mean, yeah, of course youâre my dad,â he says, shuffling his feet. âThatâs not â this isnât the time. Kurt, come on, you canât just force someone to divulge their past to you and then leave. Thatâs not how it works.â
âI know,â Kurt says. âI promise, I know, and Iâm so sorry, but I really have to go. I have to talk to my mom, like, right now. Iâm sorry. Iâm really sorry.â
He aims the last apology to Burt, but the man clearly doesnât hear him, stars still in his eyes as he repeats, âYour dad.â
Kurt walks away from the table at that point, heading to the front of the house to grab his school bag. He glances back after slinging it over his shoulder and opening the door, and smiles at the sight of Blaine and Burt locked in a tight embrace.
The wind is cold, but his heart is warm as he steps out to walk to the bus stop.
Heâs finally going home.
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Outlier | 06
poly!au: park jimin x reader x kim jennie while your lovers said they needed you, you wondered if they knew how much you needed them. word count: 1748 genre: angst/fluff warnings: explicit language
[an]: this is just a quick filler chapter and itâs a little rushed :// im sorry for not updating for a while or being less frequent on tumblr. i had been super emo bc of college admissions but guys!! gr8 fucking news!! i got into my dream schools after sooo many rejections from other schools. im also not going to be updating/MIA for the upcoming week bc i have to practice for a 20 min presentation that will determine if i graduate jfc that im doing on friday ughÂ
prologue . 01 . 02 .  03 . 04 . 05 . 06 . 07
The hospital wouldnât let you leave. Your conditions had gotten worse and they needed you to stay in the clinic for the doctorsâ to closely monitor your behavior. That meant scheduled meals, frequent chemotherapy treatments, more blood tests. Even though you did nothing at the hospital, everything made you feel extremely exhausted and your arms were bruised from the constant needles being poked into your skin.
Living at the hospital meant no more art classes or school. You couldnât finish your college classes at your institution because you couldnât leave. The school suggested to finish the credits through online courses, but it only caused you to lash out more. You hated what the cancer had done to your life. It robbed it. You were just existing now.Â
You werenât sure if you saw Jimin and Jennie less now or before during when you all lived together. They came to see you every day, if it wasnât the both of them, it was one of them. You also saw Jungkook and Hoseok more often as well. You werenât alone, because everyoneâs visits managed to never cross.
Hoseok came usually around the late mornings to afternoons, mainly every other day or whenever he could. Jungkook came during the evenings, when Hoseok had to leave for his classes. Jimin came around the night, staying way past visiting hours. The nurses looked at him one night crying by your bedside and knew that visiting hours didnât apply to him. Jennie came in the early mornings until Hoseok arrived and before she left for classes. The only time Jimin and Jennie visited together is when they didnât have classes â those days were off limits for Hoseok and Jungkook.
The only times youâre alone is between the hours of when Jimin leaves and when Jennie arrives, but Jimin waits until you fall asleep to go home. You would say that your individual relationships grew more intimate, but you were afraid of Jennie and Jimin lacking moments.Â
Hoseok and Jimin wouldnât speak about their friendship to you, so you were unsure if they were even best friends anymore. You couldnât help but feel like all of this was your fault.Â
Hoseok was the one who sat with you during your chemo sessions because heâs the only one who has ever seen you that valuable. You wouldnât allow anyone else to join you on your treatments and always asked them to wait for you in the room. Those days were the hardest to get through because the nurses did a poor job at distracting you of anything.Â
âHey baby,ââ Jimin walked in as a nurse was helping you up from your bed. She paused and smiled at him.
âHello Jimin.â She gleamed, almost as if she thought he called her his baby. You rolled your eyes and fidgeted to get her attention.
âHey, Iâm going to a chemo session. Iâll be back in a fewââ
Jimin set his things down and helped you on your other side, ââIâll just join you.â
You narrowed your eyes at him. âItâs okay, stay here. I tell you this every time.â
âYeah and I listen to you every time, which I knew after the first time, I shouldnât because you come in a crying mess after it all. I know you let Hoseok go with you, but heâs not here now. I am, so let me be there for you.â Jimin stared intensely into your glossy eyes and the nurse waited for your consent before moving you.
A switch flipped in your heart. Those annoying heavy thuds of your heart went off. The redness in your cheeks radiating. You nodded and grabbed onto him for more balance.Â
He rambled on about how his day went as he walked you down the hall into one of the million rooms in the hospital. The nurse strapped you up to begin your session and Jimin sat on your other side.Â
Your mind always whirled before it all started, never really prepared for when the needle pierced through your skin. However, Jimin didnât let you focus too much on it. He held onto your hand so tight and squeezed it repeatedly to draw your attention back to his presence. He talked continuously, merely rambles about the most random things that he encountered when driving or on campus. Â
He made you feel 100 times better, even way better than when Hoseok came with you. Maybe it was the fact that he was your boyfriend, so his touch and his voice calmed your anxiety.Â
âYou really wouldnât believe it, but Karen is going to go to her sorority formal with Trevor even though she already promised Garret. The guy was really pissed when he found out and started to rip each otherâs throats out right in front of the lecture hall. I had my money on Garret, considering the dude is yolked, and Yoongi couldnât give two shits about the fight but I made him bet anyways. He thought Garret was going to win too, but thatâs not how a bet works, yâknow? We canât bet on the same person because who would owe who the money? But he didnât care and said that heâd buy me food either way, which is great because that would mean that I win anyways.â Jimin kept his eyes locked on yours, rubbing his knuckles softly against your cheek to soothe you. His eyes never strayed to the massive syringe in your other arm or the nurse injecting it.Â
At that moment, he only knew you.Â
And you were unsure if the pain you felt was from the chemo or the burning sensation that came from your heart.Â
ââŠso who won?â You barely peeped out and Jimin lit up with excitement, stars in his beautiful, big eyes.Â
âYoongi.â Jimin smiled and you gave him a confused expression. âIt turns out Yoongi and Karen were already talking and had been secretly dating this entire time. Sheâd been trying to get him jealous by saying yes to all those guys, so he would step up and ask her to formal. He walked right in the middle of the fight, and I thought he was going to get punched into pulp, but they both calmly stepped away as Yoongi stood in between the two buff men. He told them that neither of them were taking Karen to formal and that he was already going with her because heâs her boyfriend. They all laughed until Karen jumped into his arms and kissed him in front of everyone, yelling âthatâs my baby!â and Yoongi threaten to cut them open for a lab, yâknow how heâs a biology major, if they didnât both leave them alone.âÂ
âWhat?â You wanted to laugh, but you werenât suppose to move. However, hearing Jiminâs melodic chuckle made you smile. He leaned in and gave your silly, yet confused face a quick peck.Â
âI told you that you werenât going to believe it.â His toothy grin brighten up the dark, gloomy session room and you didnât regret having him there with you one bit.
âWhatâs Jennie doing?â You asked as you fluffed Jiminâs raven hair. He rested on your chest as you both laid in your hospital bed. The only sounds were the monitor running and the light sounds of your breathing.
âStuck at the internship.â He mumbled into your sheets.
âWhy arenât you there?â Staring at the ceiling, the street lamps cast shadows above you as people passed by on the street.
Jimin turned, his arm placed at either side of your body. His frown caught your attention as his face inched close to yours. âI quit.âÂ
âYou what?â You said rather loudly. He put his hand over your mouth to hush you. You licked him and he giggled at your wet touch. âJimin, I told you not change anything in your life to accommodate to me.âÂ
âOh, but you know I love accommodating to the love of my life. Plus, I didnât even need it. I have other opportunities waiting for me, babe. You mean a lot more to me than an internship.â He explained.
You rolled your eyes, in a playful manner. âWell donât go shitting on Jen.âÂ
âHer values are different. Also, the people there are crazy about her and rave about her existence.â Jimin laughed and you cupped his squishy cheeks.
âSays the one that is also just as crazy about her.âÂ
âBut I donât rave about her existence, thatâs the difference. Itâll make her head too big and then itâll roll right off her shoulders.â You giggled and kissed him sweetly.
âI love you. I love Jen. I love us.â You marveled and your boyfriendâs glossy eyes stared back at you. His hands held onto yours as he kissed your dainty finger tips.
âIâm sorry for everything I put you through, (Y/N). Iâve been an incredibly horrible boyfriend to you and you deserved so much more attention from me. I love you, I really do. When Jennie suggested the idea to me about bringing you into our relationship, I became hesitant because I knew I wasnât capable of spreading my love enough for two people.â His tears ran down his round, supple face.Â
Jimin wouldnât let go of your hands, so you leaned in to kiss his forehead instead. âSo.. what changed?âÂ
âYou changed me, as cheesy as it sounds, (Y/N), you changed my concept of love. You were always my close friend, who I wanted to protect with my life. After you joined us, I wanted to do more than protect you. I wanted to love you and for fuck sakes, did that hit me like a truck. I was so scared of never showing you enough of how much I loved you and then my worst fears actually came true. Iâm sorry, (Y/N).â
Seeing Jimin cry had been a rare sight, and you hoped to never see him cry ever again. It hurt too much to watch the pain and sadness ruin his happiness. You were speechless and felt horrible for blaming the two for your own emotions. âDonât apologize, Jimin. Just prove it to me.âÂ
âYou fucking bet I will. Iâm going to take care of you until youâre sick of me.â Jimin chuckled, his voice turning raspy as it got more into the night. He cuddled back into your side and hugged you tightly. Your eyelids fell over your tired eyes and you silently wished that you had more time to live.
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taehyung scenario | x and o
â You accidentally send âxoâ at the end of a text to your daughterâs teacher, and he seems to get the wrong idea... â
➠prompt: My ex will be at the Christmas party, so you agreed to pose as my fiancé to keep them away.
âž pairing:Â teacher taehyung x parent reader
âž warnings: mentions of alcohol, brief mentions of bereavement
âž requested by anon | 11.4k words | fluff, teacher au
In the busy whirl that is the life of a single parent youâve done some pretty stupid things â like running out of the house in your pyjamas to try and get your daughter, Mia, to school on time, or accidentally giving her your lunch of chickpea salad while you went to work with her sandwiches made with teddy-bear shaped ham, or forgetting to check the weather before driving her to school on a snow day, only to realise your mistake and ending up needing to call in sick off work so you could stay home with her.
But out of all the stupid things youâve done, distracted by the blur of days that are never long enough, this is by far the stupidest. You stare at your phone in horror, gaping down at the âxoâ send at the end of the text. That was not meant to be there. How could you absentmindedly tack on kisses and hugs, normally reserved for your mother alone, and accidentally send them to Mr. Kim, your daughterâs young, and unnaturally handsome teacher?
If only you could delete texts⊠if only you could delete yourselfâŠ
âThat would be fine xoâ was certainly not the appropriate response, to âHello. This is Mr. Kim. I got your number from the school office. Sorry for the bother, but would it be possible to reschedule our parent-teacher meeting?â
You bury your head in your hands with a groan, having a mental breakdown as you sit alone in the car, waiting for Mia to come out of her singing lesson. Why do your brain and your fingers hate you, typing out things you donât intend? You debate sending another text to explain yourself, but then decide that doing so will only make the whole situation more awkward. So instead you leave it, and pray heâll just think youâre the sort of person that sends âxâs and âoâs to everyone.
Thankfully, Miaâs coming out of class now, clanging open the car door and clambering in, offering her bubbling conversation as a welcome distraction from your screw up.
âHello!â she beams, clicking in her seatbelt and chucking her folder of music into the backseat.
âHello, Mia Mouse, how was it?â you ask, which causes her to puff up her cheeks, and complain:
âYou know I donât like that nicknameâŠâ
âSorry, Mia,â you keep smiling, âIâll try to remember.â
Miaâs in the middle of a phase, starting when she hit the grown-up age of eight, where sheâs decided that she doesnât want to be cute anymore, and has discarded her old nickname, along with her old clothes, all shades of pink. Now she wears purple and blue, always opting for jeans, although you still sometimes see her staring yearningly at the sparkly section in the kids clothing section, not completely over her âgirly-girlâ phase, despite her efforts to convince you otherwise.
âSo, how was singing, Mia?â
With you now addressing her correctly, Mia goes on to tell you all about her class, how she got through her scales easily, and how her teacher complimented her for her technique. âShe even said that if I keep this up Iâm bound to get a solo for the schoolâs Christmas play this year,â she tells you, bouncing up and down in her seat, as you pull out of the singing teacherâs drive and head towards home.
âWow, thatâs amazing, Mia!â
As you drive through the bright lights of town, the accidental âxoâ is completely forgottenâŠ
âĄâĄâĄ
That is until the day of parent-teacher interviews - then it suddenly hits you again as you sit alone outside Mr. Kimâs room, looking at the displays dripping colour, showing off the scribbly drawings of the children in Miaâs class. You jog your knee up and down as you wait, restless and anxious, realising youâll have to explain yourself when Mr. Kim calls you inside. Maybe heâs forgotten, or doesnât even care. A handsome man like him must be used to single parents flirting with him by now. If their lives are anything like yours, parent-teacher meetings may be the only time for flirting. Thereâs zero time for finding yourself a boyfriend while caring for Mia. You barely have time to care for yourself, you think, with your eyes self-consciously falling to the worn nails of your fingers, well-chewed from the stress of work and child rearing. You wonder how many numbers Mr. Kim gets slipped during these sorts of meetings, how many dates heâs been asked on over his desk. You shake your head to clear yourself of these thoughts and the impure jealousy that rises from them.
Whatâs it to you if the handsome teacher gets attention from women confident enough to show their affection? Youâre happy in your own little bubble, just you and Mia, living contentedly together. Developing a crush is pointless. You try yo convince yourself of this.
The door opens at last, and Mr. Kimâs husky voice reverberates in the hall as he says, âSorry for the wait. Would you like to come in now?â
You gather up your bag and coat and follow him into his classroom, splashed all over with bright colours, times tables pinned up on one wall, another wall showing off the childrenâs dabbling in poetry and painting, and in the far corner is the class Christmas tree, covered with decorations handmade by the children.
âThank you so much for agreeing to reschedule our meeting,â Mr. Kim says, as he sits down at his desk and extends his hand to offer you the space across from him, âIâm sorry if this is inconvenient for you.â
âUh⊠no⊠itâs fine,â you say, trying to keep yourself from staring as you sit down. Youâre struck once again by just how handsome Miaâs teacher is. Youâd forgotten it from the last parent-teacher meeting, your mind going rusty after all those months. Seeing him again is a shock to the system, battering down the imperfect copy your mind had created. With your lips feeling numb, despite the heaters in the school being switched to max, you press them together to get them working again, and quickly say, âAbout the text I sent you⊠the âxâ and âoâ were an accident. I have a habit of adding them to my messages without thinking⊠it wasnât meant to mean anything⊠just in case you thought I was⊠flirting or somethingâŠâ you trail off, disconcerted with Mr. Kimâs eyes boring into you.
He crosses his hands in front of his face, creating a bridge for his chin to rest on as he listens. âWell, yeah, I had expected so much⊠it would be odd for you to be so forward.â
You blush, and fiddle with your hands in your lap, absentmindedly picking at your ragged nails. Heâs not wrong, but it bothers you that heâs able to pick up on your personality so easily from the few parent-teacher meetings youâve had, already pinning you down as the type to send âxoâ by accident, rather than on purpose. Feeling the need to defend yourself, you ask him, âHow would you possibly know how forward I can be?â
Mr. Kim raises his eyebrows over his hands. âBecause I have to deal with women who actually send me âxâs and âoâs on purpose, and they do an awful lot more than just that when we meet in person... Did you know that the mother that came in before you spent the entire meeting trying to play footsie with me under the table?â
âNo!â
He leans forward. âThatâs not all. When I went to shake her hand afterwards, she tried to lean in and do the European-style greeting, you know, with, like, kissing on the cheeks and stuff.â His eyes glitter as your own widen. âSo, I figured since youâve never tried anything like that with me, you probably didnât mean those âxâ and âoâs. It was just a guess though.â
âI canât believe you had to deal with thatâŠâ you say, âThese meetings arenât meant for flirting⊠theyâre for our children.â
âYeah⊠wellâŠâ He leans back in his chair again and shrugs, âNot all parents are as committed to their childâs education as you apparently.â He laughs mirthlessly. âBut the flirting has certainly got a lot worse for me since I broke up with my girlfriend.â
This is new information for you. In fact, him having a girlfriend in the first place is news to you. You make a point of not delving too deep into the personal lives of your daughterâs teachers.
âThatâs rough,â you nod sympathetically, as Mr. Kimâs eyes droop slightly, probably recalling all the trouble the break-up has caused him.
His hand falls to his mussed brown hair, carding his fingers through it as he sighs, âYeah. Wish she hadnât been so vocal about it on Facebook⊠she probably knew the trouble it would cause me.â
You look down to inspect your nails, an excuse to stop staring at Mr Kim, whose face is like caramel candy for your eyes. All calories.
He lets out a brisk laugh, more of a bark, saying, âGuess thatâs what I get for dating a teacher! Let me give you a piece of advice, never date a co-worker. Not only do you have to see them every weekday, but they also know all the worst parts of your job and know how to make them even worse!â
Somehow this parent-teacher meeting has evolved into a therapy session for Mr. Kim, who seems unbothered or unaware that heâs unloading all of his problems onto you. You wonder if you should direct the conversation back to Mia or leave him free to ramble. Itâs late in the evening, and heâs probably flagging after having to deal with so many other parents, some of which donât seem to know what personal boundaries are, so you decide you should cut him some slack if the meeting is a little disorganised. You hum softly, to show your understanding and let him continue:
âAnd whatâs worse, whenever your boss organises any kind of meet-up, you end up having to see your ex outside of working hours as well. Like at Christmas parties. Christmas parties! Theyâre the worst when youâve had a break-up, did you know that? Sheâs going to ruin it for me⊠and Christmas parties used to be my favourite thing as wellâŠâ His lips press together, as he licks them, considering all his problems. Then he gives himself a shake and says, âAnyway, Mia!â
At last the meeting gets back on track. But you canât get rid of the feeling that Mr. Kim still has more to say on the subject of exes, that the meeting took too sharp a turn back on course, and that something is expected of you after his tangent. Â You get the sense that he wants to ask you something, but you canât decide what it is. With this question clouding your mind, you try to listen as he explains how Miaâs grades are going, not telling you anything you donât already know â Mia is doing well with music and art, but wonât show any interest for maths. You bite your lip, wishing you were better at maths so you could help her with that.
When that the meeting starts wrapping up, painless, no problems, Mr. Kim tells you, âMia seems happy, she gets on well with the class, and sheâs a delight to teach.â Your cheeks glow with pleasure and pride, hearing him praising your daughter.
As he collects his papers together, tapping them against the desk to straighten them, you grab your bag and coat, standing up ready to leave, before he halts what heâs doing, and says, âActually⊠could I ask you something?â
You pause, the niggling question you had wedged in your head popping up again. âWhatâs that?â
He licks his lips, pink tongue poking out for a split second before he says, âWell⊠since you seem like a sensible person, with a good head on your shoulders⊠what do you suggest I do for the Christmas party?â
Your mouth freezes again, stuck slightly parted as you stare at him, caught, like a deer in headlights.
He smiles at you, only one side of his lips rising up.
âWhy are you asking me?â
âBecause,â the other side of his mouth finally rises up into a symmetrical grin, showing off straight teeth that make you understand why the mother he met before you had tried playing footsie under the desk. âYou and I are friends now.â
âFriends?â you repeat.
âYou sent me âxâ and âoâs at the end of your texts, and I decided to keep your slip up a secret, instead of laughing about it with my colleagues in the staff room. That makes us friends.â
âWhat? So doing the decent thing and keeping your mouth shut somehow⊠makes us friends?â
He shrugs, âItâs enough for children to consider each other friends. Sometimes I think adults should try to live as simply as kids do. Life would be a lot easier that way.â
Not entirely sure how much you agree, you still admit that the idea is nice, but not nice enough to pull down your sceptical brows.
âListen, how about I tell you a secret, and then weâll be even?â Mr. Kim grins, sticking his hands in his pockets. For a split second he reminds you of the young children he teaches, looking like a school boy ready to break a few rules, rather than a grown man, responsible for the education of twenty children. Before you can tell him that you donât need to hear it, he leans forward a little, and says, âI left our class hamster food next to my exâs lunchbox last week so that it got covered in seeds and hamster litter, and then I blamed it on the children.â
âThatâs incredibly petty,â you say.
He just winks. âDonât tell anyone.â
You shake your head, fighting off a smile that seems inappropriate. âWell, if thatâs the way you play, then for the Christmas party: I say you make your ex suffer. Especially after all the trouble sheâs caused you with flirty parentsâŠâ
His eyes light up, and he begins rubbing his hands together, âSee, I knew you were the perfect person to ask! What would you suggest?â
Caught up in his schoolboy glee, you canât help but go along, letting your own mind run wild with childish vice. âThe Christmas party would be the perfect time to show her how well youâre getting on without her.â
âLike⊠Iâm earning more money and living in the lap of luxury without her?â he asks, brows furrowing with confusion. Despite the evil glint in his eye, heâs sweetly innocent when it comes to making trouble for his ex.
âNo, no,â you shake your head firmly, âIâm talking about getting on well romantically! Go to the party with a new girlfriend, or better yet, a fiancĂ©, and show your ex that you donât need her⊠and if it gets out that youâre with someone new, then maybe your problems with overly⊠interested⊠parents will go away as well.â
âBut I donât have a fiancĂ©...â
âI'm not suggesting you actually get one. Just pretend. To get your ex off your back.â
He stares at you, mouth hanging open. You worry youâve frayed a wire in his brain with your your plan. But then heâs leaping from his chair and rushing around the desk to grab your hands in his own, bowing his head to you, âYouâre god level when it comes to this!â he gasps, eyes rising up to meet yours again, âIâm not worthy. Thank you, thank you!â
You canât help but laugh at his genuineness, releasing yourself from his hands with a shy shrug, âWell⊠I do what I canâŠâ
âWill you be my fiancĂ© then?â
You stop, shock crashing into you, leaving you speechless and breathless. You swallow, and finding your tongue once more, manage to stutter, âI didnât mean with me. I â it was just a suggestion. I wasnât-â
âPlease?â He clasps his hands together, âI thought we agreed weâre friends, and a friend would do this for another friend.â
âNo. You agreed that weâre friends,â you remind him, âI had no say in it.â
âYou were the one who sent me âxoâ on your text.â
âBy accident.â
He closes his eyes, âPlease. Help me out here. You canât suggest such a good plan, and then leave me hanging with no one to carry it out with!â
You consider carefully, then tilt you head to the side. âFine.â
His eyes light up.
âBut on one condition.â
His eyes go dim again.
âIf I agree to this, then you have to get Mia a part in the Christmas play this year. Sheâs been working hard on her music, and she really wants to be in it.â Youâre not doing this if thereâs nothing in it for you... besides a handsome fake fiancĂ© for an evening that is.
Mr. Kim stares at you for a few seconds. You can see the cogs working in his mind. Finally, he nods his head. âAlright, Iâll see what I can do!â The he sticks his hand out to you. âDo we have a deal?â
You should know better, but, somehow, you find your hand in his and the fate for your Christmas holidays is sealed. âWe have a deal, Mr. Kim.â
âPlease, itâs Taehyung. Weâre friends now.â
âĄâĄâĄ
As Christmas draws closer, your anxieties grow worse, and with Mia running to the car after school to you to tell you that she got the solo part for the Christmas play, you can only smile, while secretly dreading what you promised in payment. Seeing her face lit up with joy reminds you why you asked for it to begin with, and you know you need to bear the burden of it. Seeing her happy is all you want, and if one night of feigned romance is all it takes, then youâll do it gladly.
âWell done, Mia Mouse,â you say, âYou deserve it!â And although you know that she does, thereâs a small seed of guilt rooted in your heart, reminding you of the cost of her happiness.
She doesnât even seem to notice the unwanted nickname as you start up the engine and pull out of the school car park, casually adding, âMr. Kim was asking about you by the way.â
You choke on a yelp of surprise, supressing it, since you donât want your daughter to get suspicious. âOh, really⊠did he?â
âYeah,â Mia grins across from her seat, âHe asked me how you were, and then he told me to tell you that he said hi. Wasnât that nice of him?â
âI suppose it was,â you say, trying your best to concentrate on the road, while your mind is racing elsewhere.
âI really like Mr. Kim,â Mia decides, as she stretches her feet up onto the glove box.
âFeet down, Mouse,â you remind, and she kick her legs back again with a sigh, before continuing:
âAll my friends say Mr. Kimâs very handsome. Do you think heâs handsome?â
Suddenly it feels as if the Spanish Inquisition has begun in your car.
âWell⊠I suppose⊠he is classically handsomeâŠâ you answer, âHe looks like he could be an actor, or a model.â
âBut do you think heâs handsome?â
You just shoot her a quizzical look. âWhy all the questions?â
Mia shrugs her shoulders, turning to look out the passenger window, âI donât knowâŠ. Just⊠donât you think itâs time you got a boyfriend?â
âMia!â You almost swerve off he road in your surprise, but quickly correct your steering, while you try to adjust your voice to a volume more appropriate inside the car, âWhatâs brought this on all of a sudden?â
âWell⊠itâs just⊠all my other friendsâ parents are married, or they have boyfriends or girlfriends. I was just thinking⊠since everyoneâs parents will be going to see the Christmas playâŠâ she trails off, leaving your mind reeling. All her life youâve tried to keep her happy, straining to fulfil the roles of two parents at once, and sacrificing your own time and happiness for it. But you know there are some things you just canât do, things that a father could. It has crossed your mind multiple times that you shouldnât stay single, even if you only want a boyfriend for her sake, but thereâs never been time, youâve never had the energy, and she never seemed to be bothered by it. Until now. Maybe sheâs only just starting to realise that somethingâs missing.
After a long silence, only the road rumbling below you for accompaniment, she asks, âDo you still miss dad?â
âOf course. Every day. But I believe heâs somewhere better now, watching over us.â
She smiles to herself. âI like to think that as well. Even if I donât remember him. Do you think heâs proud of me for getting the solo?â
âAbsolutely,â you tell her.
With that, the subject of boyfriends is dropped, but that doesnât stop your singleness from burning in your mind for the rest of the day.
âĄâĄâĄ
As you sit in your room that evening, with Mia tucked up in bed, (although you know that sheâs still up from the light peeking out under her door), you stare at your phone, scrolling through the lists of dating sites on offer. Thereâs bound to be one out there specifically made for single parents. The bright light burns into your retinas as you search, the itching reminding you that you should sleep.
You drop your phone onto the bed. It was a silly idea in the first place. As if online dating will fix everything.
But then you remember Mia in the car, wishing she could have a father to watch her in the school play, and you pick up your phone again, clicking on one of the more promising sites. Youâre almost ready to sign in, finger hovering over the screen, until a text flashes up, blocking your finger with the words, âMr. Kim Taehyungâ. You pause, wondering why heâs texting⊠and at this hourâŠ
You tap on his message to open it up, and read:
âWell, Miaâs in the school play, so I suppose I should propose to you now. Iâm looking forward to seeing my new fiancĂ© at the Christmas party ;) The dress code is âsmart casualâ by the way xoxoâ
Despite knowing itâs all a joke, you find yourself smiling fondly at your phone screen. Heâs not planning on letting you forget the âxâ and âoâs any time soon.
You reply back:
âWow. What a romantic proposal⊠not... Iâll see you there xoxoâ just to continue the joke, and then set your phone down and turn over in bed, the idea of dating sites dropped for now.
After all, signing up for that would be cheating on your fake fiancĂ©. You can worry about finding a boyfriend once all this is over. You convince yourself thatâs the reason for leaving the dating sites alone, but you know thereâs more there, lurking below the surface, stemming from Taehyungâs interest in you. It would be foolish to assume his jokingly flirty texts mean anything â heâs unaware of his affect ninety percent of the time. But heâs not completely clueless, and you wonder if he knows what heâs doing with you.
You curl your toes under the duvet, and fall asleep with a grin on your face.
âĄâĄâĄ
The school looks different at night. This is the first thought to strike you as you park in the driveway, ready for your evening serving as Taehyungâs fake fiancĂ©. Well, as ready as you can possibly be with a storm of butterflies in your belly.
You left Mia happy at home with the babysitter, who she insists sheâs old enough to not need, although you know better. Now, you have nothing to worry about, except whether or not youâll make a fool of yourself in front of Taehyung. The chances are highly probable, but you still find yourself smiling as you hop out into the freezing air, wishing youâd brought a coat to compliment your sweater dress and uncomfortable high heels. With your arms crossed around you to hold in as much heat as possible, you run to the school, using the side door that Taehyung promised to leave unlocked for you. You head to his classroom, where heâs still crouched over his desk, marking papers. He seems completely absorbed in his work, not even getting up to switch on the light, he sits in the dark, squinting at his work.
You rap lightly on his door, and he looks up, wide-eyed, like he forgot he invited you over to his room before the party started.
âHi,â you hold up your hand awkwardly, not sure if youâre interrupting him from the flow of work.
A smile breaks across his face when he sees you, and he quickly jumps up from his desk.
âHello,â he purrs in that deep voice of his, âIâm glad you didnât bail on me at the last minute.â He almost goes for a hug, but then decides against it at the last moment, and instead offers you a quick pat on the shoulder, as he surveys your outfit. âYou look good!â
âWhat about you?â you take in his well-fitting trousers, red tie, and white shirt, tucked in to accentuate his slim figure, âYou look amazing!â you canât help but gush. Amazing is an understatement. He really does look like a model. âYou said it was smart casual,â you complain, âThereâs nothing casual about this!â
He looks down at his outfit. âYou donât think itâs okay?â
âWell, no, itâs fine,â you tell him, âBut Iâll feel underdressed standing next to you all evening.â
âWhat?â He pouts his lips, âBut you look so pretty. Youâll be fine.â
He might say that, but you still feel embarrassed about your simple dress, and black tights, with no jewellery to set it off. Self-consciously, you wring your hands together.
âOh, before I forget!â Taehyung dashes back to his desk and hunts about in the drawer by his seat, pulling out a small box, âI got this to make our story convincing.â
He opens the box and pulls out a shining ring, with a diamond sparkling at the centre. âGive me your hand.â His voice is low in the darkened room, pulsing through you like a tremor in the earth below your feet. Body responding to him before your brain does, you hold out your hand, and he takes it in his own, slender fingers wrapping around yours as he pulls you a step closer, and carefully slides the ring on. With his hand still supporting yours, you admire the shine of the diamond on your finger.
âWhere did you get this?â you ask, staring in awe, âI hope you didnât go out and buy this just for me.â Itâs meant as a joke, but then you remember his recent break-up and the thought shoots through you, violently, like a bullet, that maybe this was intended for his ex.
He quickly dispels your worries, with: âIt was my grandmaâs.â
âYour grandmaâs?â You gape at him, âAre you sure itâs okay if I wear it?â
He grins, âItâs fine. Itâs what she would have wanted.â
âFor you to use it to get revenge on your ex?â You raise your eyebrow at him, and he offers a wide grin in return:
âShe had a good sense of humour.â
Still unsure, but happy that he deems you worthy of his grandmaâs heirloom, if only for one night, you remember: âWe should probably come up with a good story before we go out.â
âOh right!â he frowns, âHow should we say we met?â
You fall silent, thinking, before you decide, âMaybe we shouldnât stray too far from the truth. We can say that we met at a parent-teacher meeting.â
âYeah,â Taehyung nods, âAnd then I was interested in you, so I asked if we could grab coffee together sometime⊠but you played hard to getâŠâ
âUntil I thought about Mia and how she would need a good male figure in her life,â you say, blushing at how close it is to the truth.
Taehyung hangs for a breath, considering what youâve said, âAnd when you saw how good I was with children, and how well I got on with Mia, you decided I was the one.â
âAnd the rest is history.â
You stare at each other in the half-light, Taehyungâs pupils dilated without the sun. For a second you almost let yourself get swept up in your made-up romance, tantalisingly close to reality. It could almost be true, but itâs just out of your reach.
âI like that story. Letâs go with that,â Taehyung nods, breaking the spell, as he goes to grab his blazer from the hanger by the door. His designer clothes look odd hanging off one of the pegs designed for childrenâs coats. He puts it on, and then gives a spin for you, âDo I look okay?â
You beckon him over, and when he reaches you, you stretch out your hand and hook your finger through his tie, loosening it slightly before you pull out the top button. âThere, now you look a bit more casual.â
He chuckles, a deep sound at the back of his throat. âYou know I have to tell off my students when they donât have their school ties neat, so this feels a bit hypocritical.â
You shrug with a smile, âWhat your students donât know wonât hurt them. It can be another secret we share.â
His smile widens, lips parting. âAlright.â He reaches out his hand to you, and you take hold of it. With one shake, he promises, âPartners in crime.â
âPartners in crime.â
As you leave the room, you keep your hand in his, lacing your fingers together â just as practice for later, when youâll have to convince his ex that youâre in love.
âĄâĄâĄ
The school Christmas party is being held at the bar and restaurant in the next street over from the school, but a few of the teachers are meeting up outside the front doors to walk down together. As you approach the crowd, you feel your stomach dipping, and grab Taehyungâs hand a little tighter. âIs she there?â you whisper, to which Taehyung answers:
âNo. No sign of Inna yet. Iâll warn you when she shows up.â
Two men spot Taehyung and come over, smiling. You fix on a smile, despite the worry pricking your skin.
âWell, Taehyung, whoâs this?â The taller one asks, âWe didnât know you were seeing someone.â
You freeze under their curious gazes, but Taehyung, as if itâs the most natural thing in the world, announces, âThis is my fiancĂ©.â
The two menâs faces go slack in surprise, while Taehyung, seemingly oblivious of their reaction, explains to you, âThese are my friends, Namjoon and Seokjin. Weâre the three Mr. Kims of the school, and we ended up getting to know each other when all of our photocopying would get sent to the wrong Mr. Kim.â
You chuckle as he tells you the story, but canât remain completely ignore the shocked stares youâre receiving from the other two Mr. Kims.
âTaehyung?â the taller one, introduced as Namjoon, exclaims, âYouâre engaged?â
Taehyung turns back to them with an innocent smile, eyes devoid of anything worthy of suspicion, âYeah!â
âAnd you didnât tell us?â
Taehyung scratches at the nape of his neck, âWell⊠after what happened with Inna I didnât want to go around announcing my latest adventures in love⊠but things are going really well, obviously,â he holds up the hand that holds yours, showing the shining ring on your finger, âSo, I guess this is our announcement.â
Seokjin and Namjoon just stare at him blankly. âNo way,â Namjoon says, âThereâs no way.â
With a husky giggle, Taehyung raises his hands up in defeat. âOkay⊠you got us⊠actually, keep this between us four, but weâre just pretending to be engaged to keep Inna off my backâŠâ
Namjoon frowns, dimples pressing into his cheeks as his lips thin into a line. Seokjin on the other hand, seems excited by the idea, giving Taehyungâs arm a light push. âMr. Kim number three! Thatâs sneaky!â
You incline your head towards Taehyung, raising your eyebrows in a question. âIs it okay that they know?â you ask.
âYou can trust these two,â he says, âThey wonât tell anyone.â
After all you had shared with Taehyung, you feel oddly let down that he had so easily revealed your plan to these tow men. Betrayal might have been an over-exaggerated reaction, but thereâs no other word to describe the nibbling in your chest.
As the group starts moving towards the restaurant, ready to meet the other teachers who are already there, your feet drag and Taehyung ends up pulling on your arm a little to keep up with his co-workers. His head turns back as he walks, face lit up with the blues of the Christmas lights. âYou okay?â he asks, âToo cold? Do your feet hurt in those shoes?â
You shake your head. âNo, Iâm fine.â But already heâs moving back, shrugging off his blazer for you, and offering you his elbow to relieve some of the weight off your high-heeled shoes. With him fussing over you itâs hard to stay upset, even if you do feel some childish disappointment stirring in your gut because your secret doesnât belong to just you and him.
You barely have the right to be upset in the first place; you canât explain why you feel upset about it, let alone try to relate it to him.
With Taehyung helping you along, the scent of his cologne leaking into your head from his blazer, you walk in silence behind the rest of the group.
âSo, howâs Mia,â Taehyung asks, making conversation as you try to keep balanced on your heels.
âSheâs good,â you say, face softening into a smile when you think of her, âI left her with a babysitter, which she was a little upset about. Sheâs at that stage now where she thinks sheâs old enough to stay home by herself⊠maybe thatâs me being too protective.â
Taehyung shakes his head, a laugh rumbling through him, âNo, a babysitterâs probably for the best, although the name âbabysitterâ isnât so good. Kids donât like to be called âbabiesâ and they certainly donât like to be âsatâ on.â
The joke is stupid enough to make you crack a grin. âYeah⊠with Mia there certainly wonât be any sitting happening anyway. The sitter will be on her toes all night!â
âMiaâs great,â Taehyung rumbles, âAlways so cheery when sheâs in class. And so full of energy.â
Your chest swells with pride when you hear this.
âAnd so talented too,â Taehyung continues, âMaybe I shouldnât be telling you this now, since you might feel a bit cheated, but she actually got the choir solo without any of my input⊠so I guess I didnât even uphold my end of the bargain.â
âThatâs my girl!â you smile, so overcome with pride that you canât get angry at Taehyungâs deception.
On a high from your daughterâs accomplishment, you finally arrive at the restaurant, and all your good feelings come crashing down, to leave cold fear. Your hand grips at the fabric of Taehyungâs shirt as the other teachers who were waiting at the restaurant wave you inside, babbling over who should sit where and how nice everyone looks.
âWhich oneâs the ex?â you ask, tugging on Taehyungâs sleeve to keep his attention amidst the buzz of noise.
Taehyung nods in the direction of a woman sitting at the far side of the table, conversing with some friends. âThatâs her,â his voice sounds distant, something youâve never heard in his tone before, âThatâs Inna.â
You sneak a glance at her, as casual as possible, and feel your insides wring themselves out. Sheâs absolutely stunning, dyed blonde hair hanging in waves around her slim face, strong make-up making her look like she just stepped out of a beauty magazine. She really does seem perfect for the model-like man by your side. Youâre struck by your own ordinariness compared to her, and despite not even being in a real relationship with Taehyung, you feel your confidence departing you in tatters.
She glances over, sensing your looking her way, and her false-eyelash eyes narrow when she spots your arm through Taehyungâs. She mutters something to her friends, and then stands up, giving you a display of her tight-fitting back dress, sparkling down to the middle of her thigh, showing off well shaped legs, accentuated with tall heels. She walks over, a lot more confident in her stilettoes than you are in your own small heeled shoes.
âTaehyung,â she coos, and his eyes widen at her tone. Youâre not sure if heâs surprised to see her talking to him, or if heâs struck by the dress that leaves little to the imagination, but you see him lick his lips nervously, before he responds:
âInna. Itâs been a while.â
She smiles, but it doesnât quite reach her eyes, which stay glued to the ring on your finger. âYes, well⊠I figured since itâs Christmas Iâd try to be nice. You know⊠season of good will and all that.â
Taehyung winces a half-smile. âThatâs good of you.â
She giggles, high-pitched and breathy. Itâs the kind of laugh you used when you were in high school, trying to make boys look your way. âAnd who is this, Taehyung?â she finally looks to your face, acknowledging your existence as more than an arm attached to her ex. Her brown eyes sparkle bright as she sweeps you up and down. Embarrassed, you drop your gaze to the floor â the room suddenly swims with heat and the smell of wine.
âThis is my fiancĂ©,â Taehyung explains.
âFiancĂ©?â Innaâs voice rises above the murmuring of her colleagues, turning to you with her mouth hanging open in exaggerated surprise, although you can see something else, much more sinister burning below the surface, âWow. So soon?â Her smile is scarier than the most furious of glares, and you feel as if sheâs stabbed you in the face with her bitter-cocoa eyes.
âYep,â Taehyung pops the âpâ in his response, souning oddly terse compared to his normal tone. This whole thing is getting more and more awkward by the second, and it suddenly strikes you how bad this idea is.
Taehyung continues, âWhen the right one comes along, you just know, donât you, baby?â He nuzzles his nose into your neck, skin cold against you, and you bite down on your surprise, smiling through your shock.
âThatâs right.â
âIâm so lucky,â Taehyung breathes against your skin, and even though you know itâs a show for Inna, you canât stop your heart from missing a beat. Maybe heâs spooning in on a little too thick now.
You see Innaâs lips pucker in a scowl, before she softens out her pretty face again and smiles, âWell, isnât that just great!â
Thereâs an awkward silence, and then she continues, âWell, anyway... my boyfriendâs taking me on a trip to France next month.â
Jealousy is already rippling out from her, and youâre not a minute into conversation. You swallow, not sure if you should laugh, or bolt away before she rips your face off - those unsmiling eyes in her smiling face promise your pain.
As Taehyung stiffly mutters about how nice France will be, and how she should take advantage of all the good food while sheâs over there, you feel a hand slide around your shoulder, and Namjoon and Seokjin appear at your other side, saying, âTaehyung, weâre just going to steal your fiancĂ© away for a split second.â Before you or Taehyung can protest, they drag you out of his hold, and towards the other group.
With the air clearing the further you get from Inna, you breathe a sigh of relief.
âWe thought you needed some help,â Namjoon says, âInna looks about ready to claw that ring off your finger.â
âWill Taehyung be okay?â you worry, glancing behind to see him standing poker-straight, feigning interest while Inna talks.
Seokjin nods his head. âWeâll give them a second alone to sort themselves out, and then we should probably keep them away from each other for the rest of the evening.â
You canât keep your gaze from straying back to Taehyung as his friends lead you around the group, politely introducing you to the other teachers. Your stomach squirms uncomfortably seeing Taehyung talking with his ex, and you wonder whatâs wrong with you. You canât be worried about him being with his old lover when you donât even count as a new lover. Still, you canât relax until he manages to detangle himself from the knots of Innaâs conversation, and escapes back to your side.
âYou okay?â you ask him, as he slots his hand back into yours.
âYeah. She just kept on talking about how nice her boyfriend is, and how much money heâs spending on herâŠâ you see Taehyungâs jaw tensing as he talks, and rub your thumb up and down the back of his hand, soothing.
âDo you think sheâs jealous?â
âJealous?â Taehyung looks at you, âWhat do you mean?â
You raise your shoulders in a small shrug. âWhat I mean is⊠in her mind youâve left her and got on with your life. Youâve got it all settled. Sheâs trying to prove that sheâs got everything she could want, that sheâs just as happy as youâŠâ You let out a sigh through your nose, âSorry⊠I came up with this idea just to keep her off your back, but maybe it made the whole situation worse.â But even as you explain this, another possibility is burning bright in your head: that Inna isnât jealous of Taehyung for getting his life sorted out, but sheâs jealous of you, realising what a great guy she got rid of.
As her eyes burn through you from the other side of the room, you become more convinced of this possibility, and a curiosity niggles at you. How exactly did Taehyung and Inna part ways⊠and is there a possibility of them getting back together? You glance up at Taehyung, whoâs refusing to look back at his ex, and swallow before asking, âSorry if this is too personal, but how exactly did you break up with her?â
Taehyungâs sides heave in a deep sigh. âItâs⊠not too personal. But it is a complicated story and I was never good with words-â
Before he can even start, the man you recognise as the headmaster is tapping his wine glass with a spoon, and saying: âDinner will be served soon, and before we all take our seats, Iâd just like to say a few quick words.â
âHa!â Taehyung mutters under his breath, âWhen he says quick words what he really means is a ten page pre-made speech.â
You canât help but giggle at this, and quickly disguise it as a cough, while the other teachers fall silent, listening.
By the time the headmaster is done thanking everyone, your feet are aching in your shoes, and itâs a relief to sit down at the table next to Taehyung. For a second, as Inna passes your spot, you worry that sheâll sit down next to you and make the whole evening awkward, but instead Namjoon and Seokjin quickly slot themselves into the seats around you, and Inna ends up at the other end of the table, out of sight and out of mind.
The rest of the dinner passes by in a blur of lulling conversation, and a few glasses of wine to make the meals melt together in a swirling of jokes and laughter. Itâs pleasant, sitting by Taehyungâs side, with him smiling and laying his hand on top of yours on the table when the occasion calls for it. You had forgotten what it was like to go out without Mia, but this is a pleasant reminder.
Before you know it, your dessert plates are being taken from you, and a few teachers are waving goodbye, while another group talk about going upstairs to the bar for a couple more drinks.
Youâre aware that you should get home to Mia, but Taehyungâs colleagues are pulling him back, saying, âCome on, Taehyung. Itâs not like you to go home early.â
He pauses, stuck between the hold of his friends and your own hand wound in his. He looks back to you, clearly torn, and you know how bad it will look if you separate now.
For a second you worry heâll give in to his friends, but then he shakes his head, stepping towards you. âSorry, but my fiancĂ© needs to get home soon. Weâve left Mia with a babysitter, but Iâm sure sheâll want us home soon.â
Your heart swells with gratitude, thankful that he explained it for you, not leaving you to flounder among his friends that you barely know.
But his co-workers are unconvinced, cajoling him â âJust one more drink. Donât tell us that getting engaged has made you boring!â
Inna choses this exact moment to insert herself into the conversation, saying, âI never thought youâd be the type to go for someone with kids, Taehyung.â Her voice is icy, and you donât know if the frost is directed at you or at Taehyung, but it makes you shiver, despite the heat in the room.
Taehyung gapes at her, clearly lost as to what he should do, searching his brain for what to say. In your hand, you can feel his fingers damp. âWell⊠Inna⊠like I said, when you meet the one, you just know, you know? And I love Mia as well. I really do. Sheâs a part of the familyâŠâ
Inna sniffs, and then shoots you a look you canât quite fathom. With the exchange clearly finished, Taehyungâs friends butt in once more, and with one firm tug on his arm, pull him towards the bar, saying,âMia can wait. You donât mind, right?â Not wanting to cause a scene, you bend:
âOne more drinkâs fine.â
And so, you find yourself being pulled up the stairs to the blaring music of the bar, and the burning bright lights of the small dancefloor set up at its side.
âSorry you got dragged into this,â Seokjin murmurs to you, as the group detaches you from Taehyung, herding him towards the bar to order drinks, and with Taehyung turning back to give you a guilty grin, you press your lips together in a line, and turn your attention to the other Mr. Kim.
âIt really is okay. Mia can handle herself,â you tell Seokjin. You know itâs true, but you still feel bad. Itâs already approaching eleven oâclock and you said youâd be back at half ten.
âI donât know if youâve realised,â Seokjin says, âBut Taehyungâs pretty popular at our school. Heâs sort of known as the mood maker among our co-workers, and we all joke that a party canât be a party without him. Thatâs why itâs important he stays⊠even if itâs only for a little while.â
âReally?â you watch as Taehyung frowns over the bar menu, and then gives his order to the bartender, adamâs apple moving as he shouts to be heard over the music.
âYouâll see what I mean,â Seokjin offers you a wink, and then moves over to talk with Namjoon, while you slide back to Taehyungâs side again.
âThis is okay, right?â he asks, as his rum is slid over to him, âYouâre not just saying itâs fine when itâs really not fine?â
You nod. âI said Iâd be home by half ten, but Miaâs pretty independent, so she wonât be worried⊠I just hope the babysitter has the sense to put her to bed soon. Sheâll be grumpy tomorrow if she doesnât get to bed earlyâŠâ
Taehyung chuckles at this, âYes, Iâve seen her grumpy in class. Sheâs certainly a force to be reckoned with.â Â He takes his rum in one gulp, and then sucks in a breath through his teeth with the alcoholic burn. âWeâll leave after a few songs, okay?â
You nod as he slips from your hand, shrugging off his blazer and handing it to you. With a smile your way, eyes bright, he heads for the dancefloor, loosening his tie. He means serious business when it comes to partying, and you canât help but smile after him, while the other teachers begin cheering as he steps onto the dancefloor.
As the next song starts up, youâre not entirely sure what youâre expecting. With Taehyung this could go either way - he could take dancing completely seriously, or he could make a whole joke out of it. It turns out that itâs a mixture of the two. He begins striking strong poses, with legs and limbs twisting, all in time with the music, and all completely over exaggerated, while still looking like they could be the ending poses of a fashion runway. You end up laughing along with the other teachers, and every so often, heâll shoot a glace to where you stand at the edge of the floor, gauging your reaction, and obviously happy when he sees you grinning at him.
As you wait on the edge of the group, you sense someone sidling up beside you, and turn to see Inna by your side.
âHi,â she offers you a smile, and you return it, as polite as possible.
âHello.â
âUm⊠listenâŠâ she curls a strand of bleached blonde hair around her finger, âCan I talk to you⊠somewhere a bit quieter?â
Your stomach twists, worrying what she could have planned for you. Youâd rather not agree, but you donât want to be rude, so you shrug, âSure.â
She heads back towards the stairs leading down to the quieter foyer of the restaurant, and you have no choice but to follow behind, but not without shooting a glance back to the dancefloor, desperate for help. Taehyung pops into your vision for a split second in between all the other bodies, and his brows raise quizzically at you, while you give him a look that translates roughly to: âI have no idea what she wants with me, but Iâm scaredâ.
On the ground floor again, Inna turns to you, and you cross your arms defensively, asking, âWhat do you want?â
She sighs, running a hand through her hair, before she says, âListen, I know I might have come across as a little bit⊠cold tonight, but I donât want you to take it the wrong way. I was just... um... surprised that Taehyungâs already thinking about marriage! And to someone who already has a child as well!â
âWhatâs wrong with having a child?â you ask, ready to shield yourself from whatever judgement she might throw.
âWell⊠you know,â she raises her eyebrows as if itâs the most obvious thing in the world, âItâs just extra baggage. And I didnât think Taehyung was⊠mature enough to handle that.â
Irritation stirs inside you, âActually, Taehyungâs amazing with children. You should know that yourself, seeing him in school everyday.â
She snickers, âYeah. Only because heâs a child himself!â She raises her hand to her mouth, and clears her throat before continuing, âAh. Maybe Iâm coming off as rude again. I really donât mean it.â
Youâre believing it less and less every time she says it.
âSeeing Taehyung acting so mature now, I thought maybe I should start acting a little more my age myself,â she goes on, âAnd since Iâm an adult, Iâd like to tell you that I donât have any bitterness towards you, even if you are with my ex. I can move past that. And I think it would be nice if we became friends.â She smiles sweetly at this, extending her hand to you.
She seems to have the same ways of securing friendships as Taehyung, settling it over a handshake. But this feels different from when you agreed to help Taehyung. Something in her smile warns you that thereâs more to her than her sugar-coated words, and you keep both hands firmly by her side, refusing her offer.
She scowls as you remain motionless.
âSorry,â you say, âI think⊠it would be best if we just kept to ourselves. Youâve broken up with Taehyung for your own reasons, and I think you should try to stay out of each otherâs lives now.â
âOh, I see how it is,â she snaps, acerbic as she jerks her hand back to her side, placing it on her hip, âWhatever. If youâre worried about me, then donât be. IÂ donât want him back. Youâre welcome to him.â And with that she storms off.
Seeing her terse reply is enough evidence that you did the right thing. From her track record of passive aggression, and her complaining about Taehyung all over social media, you already know she only wanted to use you as yet another way to get back at her ex, as if she hadnât made his life miserable enough. She canât seem to let go of her anger. You feel a little sorry for her, and for her new boyfriend. Only a little.
Returning upstairs, you decide itâs about time you went back home. Taehyungâs still busy on the dancefloor. As he spots you in the crowd, he waves you over and you read his lips moving, trying to shout over the loud music, âCome dance!â
âWe need to go now,â you try to tell him, and he frowns at you, obviously not hearing you over the thrumming beat. You try again, raising your voice, but he still looks totally lost, instead just shouting, âCome on!â and you let him pull you onto the floor, holding your hand as he continues to make a spectacle of himself in front of his co-workers. You bow your head, hiding your face in his shoulder to escape the embarrassment as he keeps moving. But as you nestle closer to him, his movements becoming smaller so he doesnât end up hitting you with one of his wild limbs, and the other teachers begin cooing over how cute the new couple is, and now youâre embarrassed for a completely different reason.
As the last chords play out, you take the small gap of silence before the next song to say, âWe really should go, Taehyung.â
He nods in agreements, and you sigh in relief, seeing the end of the night finally in sight. With Taehyung making his rounds through the group, saying goodbye and shaking hands, you finally feel your body relax.
At the door, you hold out his blazer to him again, but he shakes his head. âItâs cold outside, keep it.â
And with that, you open the doors to the frozen December air and step out, waving final goodbyes as the door swings shut on the noise of the restaurant. With your breath billowing in clouds, Taehyung offers you his arm to help you walk back to the school again, where your car waits with heated seats and a short drive back home.
âThank you for this evening,â Taehyung says, as you walk down the street, now quiet with everyone either busy partying, or wrapped up at home. Each step is becoming more painful for you, so unused to your high heels.
âItâs no problem,â you say, forcing yourself to smile, even as your face fights to wince instead.
âI really appreciate it,â Taehyung goes on, âIâm not good with words, but⊠I guess, if you were one of my students Iâd give you one hundred gold star stickers. You did an amazing job being my fiancĂ©.â
You canât help but chuckle at his explanation, but then end up wincing again, and stop in your tracks.
âHey, is it okay if I take off my shoes? These heels are killing me.â
âIn this cold?â Taehyung asks, while you bend down to undo the buckles, and step out of the prison of straps. Even on the frozen concrete, feeling your soles flat again is deliciously soothing.
âItâs okay,â you say, wiggling your toes in your tights, âItâs not too cold.â You say this with another clouded breath misting from your mouth to completely debunk your argument.
Before you can say anything else, Taehyung kneels down in front of you, offering his back. âGet on, Iâll carry you the rest of the way.â
âIâm fine Taehyung,â you say, picking up your high heels and stepping around him, âMy carâs only a street away.â
âExactly, itâs only a street away and I can carry you no problem.â Without any more warning than that, you feel his arms wrapping around his waist and the world tips upside down as he heaves you into a firemanâs hold.
âTaehyung!â you hit at his back, trying to argue through your laughter, âPut me down. I can walk.â
âSorry,â he hums, âBut if you wonât accept a piggyback from me, then this is the only way Iâm letting you travel back to your car.â
âOkay fine!â you admit defeat, âIâll take a piggyback! But not this. Please.â
Satisfied, he sets you down again, and you skirt around to clamber onto his back, arms locking around his shoulders. With a gentle âhupâ he lifts you up, hands firm on your legs, as he holds you up and continues walking towards the school.
You go on in silence for a short distance, only hearing your heartbeat thundering in your head, and Taehyungâs gentle breath as he walks.
At last, he cracks the quiet, asking, âWhat did Inna want with you?â
âOhâŠâ youâre taken aback by his question, but continue, âShe wanted to apologise for her behaviour⊠said something about wanting to be more mature⊠but I donât think she really meant it.â
Taehyung laughs at this. âGood. I was worried she might say something nasty. I was going to go down and get you myself, but the other teachers kept holding me back, and⊠well, you handled it yourself anyways, so I guess you didnât need a knight on shining armour after all.â
You rest your chin against his shoulder. âYou never did explain why you broke up.â
Taehyung is silent for a moment, and you wonder if he doesnât want to tell you, but then he says, âWe both had very different ideas about what we wanted from a relationship, I think. She always thought I was too childish, and that I wasnât responsible enough⊠I guess I kind of was⊠I was scared of ever committing to her. You know, weâd been dating for quite a long time, but I never mentioned marriage or anything. She didnât even move in with me. That was bad sign for her⊠she kept getting angry, wanting to move her stuff over to my place, and saying I mustnât love her enough if I didnât want to live with her. But there was⊠something holding me back⊠I donât know how to explain it⊠but⊠it was intrusion? Intru⊠no! Intuition. It was intuition.â He laughs at himself. âSorry, I get so used to speaking simply with the children that I forget how to use long words with adults sometimes.â
You smile, âItâs okay. Iâve only spent my free time with Mia for as long as I can remember. I donât really know how to relate to adults either.â
âAt least we know how to talk with each other thenâŠâ Taehyung chuckles, with a cloud of mist escaping his throat, âAnyway⊠Inna didnât really understand me, and I guess I never understood her either, so we ended up breaking up. She blamed my immaturity for the whole thing.â
âBut that wasnât immature!â you feel anger bubbling up, âIn fact, from the sounds of it, you behaved very maturely in that situation. If you canât relate to each other, then the relationship canât possibly last. It was good to end it as soon as you could.â
He nods his head, âI thought so too⊠but I am sorry that it ended so badly...â
âNo, donât be,â you adjust your grip around her shoulder, holding him a little more tightly, partly to keep yourself from slipping off his back, and partly to offer him some comfort under your touch.
As he turns the corner, and the school appears ahead of you, you feel a tug of remorse that the night is over, that youâll have to leave Taehyungâs hold and return to being single. It was nice to remember what it was like to have someone to hold hands with, someone to be with, and the whole evening had almost convinced you to fall in love again, to allow yourself the leeway to care for someone else besides your daughter. Itâs difficult to remember that Taehyung isnât anything more than a self-proclaimed partner in crime, and that the ring around your finger is nothing more than a prop.
As Taehyung walks you up the school drive, he says, âWell⊠Iâve told you what happened to me and Inna⊠would it be too rude to ask what happened to Miaâs father?â
You fall silent as he reaches the edge of the car park, slipping off his back and onto the cold pavement.
He turns back with wide, worried eyes. âSorry. I overstepped a line, didnât I? Iâve had a bit of alcohol and⊠my tongue gets a little more lose when I do. Sorry. Iâm sorry.â
âNo, itâs okay,â you sooth with a gentle smile as you dig for your keys from your purse and head for your car, âIt was a long time ago, so itâs not that painful anymore.â By your car, you stop, hand on the door. âHe died a couple of months after Miaâs birth.â
âOh.â Taehyungâs face falls at this, and he licks his lips, unsure how to respond.
âLike I said,â you continue, âIt was a long time ago. And even though I do miss him⊠Iâm not sad about it anymore. He gave me Mia, and sheâs the best part of my life.â
Even though you should be leaving, it feels wrong to part like this, so rather than standing in the frost you say, âWould you like to get into the car for a bit? Just to get out of the cold?â
He nods, and so you end up with him sitting in the passenger seat, body twisted towards you as you continue talking about your husband, reliving old memories with a wistful smile twinging your lips.
âThat must be hard for Mia,â Taehyung says eventually, and you nod sadly.
âYeah, she doesnât remember him well, but sheâs recently started noticing the absence. You know, just the other day, she said she wished she had a dad to come and watch her in the play.â The thought makes the smile wobble off your face, replace by pain, as you remember her innocent questions.
âIâll come to see her in the play,â Taehyung offers, and then his cheeks flush and he begins rambling, âWell⊠I mean⊠ah, maybe this is the alcohol still in my system, and Iâm definitely overstepping a line here⊠but Miaâs a good kid⊠andâŠâ His hands go up to run over his face, pushing at his closed eyelids. âAhhhh⊠what am I saying?â
âTaehyung,â you say gently, and he peeks at you past his fingers, âMia would be delighted if I told her youâll watch her in the play.â
He drops his hands and offers a cautious smile.
The conversation seems finished, but still you donât want Taehyung to leave, and he makes no movement to do so. Absently, you fiddle with your hands, and feel the cold of the ring still on your finger.
âOh, rightâŠâ You pull it off carefully, and hold it out to Taehyung, âI believe this is yours.â
He puts out his hand, and as you press the ring into his fingers his warmth seeps below your skin.
âOh, and the blazer as well,â you murmur, the stillness in the car seeming to call for a lower voice. You slip off Taehyungâs blazer, catching one last breath of his cologne, as he leans closer and you throw it around his shoulders for him.
Even though itâs time to part, you canât let go of the collar of the blazer, holding him close. You feel that if you let him go, the whole night will slip from your fingers, like the mist of a dream. Forgetting what itâs like to be held, to be felt, to be connected, what itâs like to be in love, youâll return to a single-minded focus on Mia, living in love, only for her, with no time to love a man and no time to love yourself.
In the subdued moonlight Taehyung looks all the more ethereal, eyes dark and glossy, lips shining wet as he licks them, and you allow yourself one act of self-love, allow yourself one split second of happiness, just to satiate your own curiosity for what might have been. In the hold of the nightâs murmurings, you lean in, just as Taehyung does, and close your lips to his own, locking against him. Your eyes shut instinctively, and all thatâs left is his warmth on you, warmth around you, as his hands pull you an extra bit closer, trying to manoeuvre you awkwardly, so he can get as close as possible with the gear box in the way. Your arms snake up around his neck, fingers tangling into his hair, and you melt away on this moment.
Itâs all heat, all Taehyung, all you, all youâve been wanting all evening.
At last, he slips out of your hold again, and you sit, short of breath, with him leaning, watching you from the other side of the car with a dopey smile on his lips.
âI should probably go now,â you remember, knowing itâs far too late, and Mia definitely needs to be in bed.
âYeah,â he breathes. It takes him another second of staring at you, in awe, before he moves, opening the car door again, letting cold air to rush in and knock sense into both of you, drunk on each otherâs touch.
âIâll see you at the school play,â he says, and then jumps out, and with a wave and a boxy grin, he closed the door behind him, and heads across the car park, towards his own house.
You sit for a few seconds, holding your burning cheeks in your hands and trying to steady your heartbeat, knowing driving like this would be dangerous. You give yourself time to clear your head, before finally starting the engine.
âĄâĄâĄ
Miaâs still up when you arrive home, sitting in her pyjamas watching TV with the babysitter. The babysitter looks sheepish when you arrive. âI did try to get her to go to bed,â she explains, but you just hand her the rest of her money, and tell her itâs fine.
Your daughter spins around, and you can sense sheâs hyper off sugar that the babysitter probably shouldnât have fed her. âHow was the date? How was the date?â
âMouse... I told you...â you say, âIt wasnât a date!â
But even as you say this, memories rush back of all that happened this evening, and you realise thereâs absolutely no fooling anyone. It was a date.
âYouâre blushing! It was totally a date!â
You smile. âAlright, Mouse, maybe it wasâŠâ
As you shepherd her up the stairs you feel a vibration in your pocket, as your phone goes off. Reminding Mia to brush her teeth before she goes to bed, you watch her slump to the bathroom, complaining that sheâs not ready to sleep. It takes a lot of coaxing, but you finally get her into her room with the lights switched off, and allow yourself to collapse into your own bed, still with a full face of make-up and your dress hugging your body.
You check your phone, and smile to see a message from Taehyung:
âThanks for tonight. It was great. You did great. You were greatâŠ. Am I rambling? Haha! Iâll see you later anyways. Xoxoâ
You smile involuntarily, roll over in bed, curling up in the duvet. You type your reply, âIâll look forward to it xoxoâ. This time the âxâs and âoâs are completely on purpose.
⥠END âĄ
Authorâs note: Iâm sorry this is late! It wasnât meant to be so long, but my brain got carried away, and it ended up taking longer than expected to write! I hope the wait was worth it!
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