#Meryl gets the steel chair just as many have wanted

[anime-grimmy-art]

WHAT'S THIS? IT'S MERYL WITH A STEEL CHAIR!?

The tags of this post were just way too hilarious, it rly did warrant a continuation.

Meryl came back to finish the job. Knives should not have messed with her bf.

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Part 1 here

Part 3 here

[magadauthan]

Ep 11: Escape from Pain

Day 11 of @trigun98watchparty.

This ep doesn't hang together as well as others do, but it does demonstrate the seedier, rougher realities of NML (dangerous terrain, human trafficking, slavery, extortion) and that even the best of intentions can have negative consequences for the innocent.

It is also a preview of the larger conflict to come between Wolfwood's pragmatism and Vash's idealism, with Milly standing in for Vash. (there is a very strong argument to be made that Milly stands in for Vash in many other ways where WW is concerned.)

--If you don't love Milly after this ep, idk what to tell you. Her intuition borders on being a sixth sense. She's all Vash's sweetness and love without the lifetime of pain and suffering, and with good sibling relationships.

--"Oh my, I'm about to go down in fuh-lames!"

--Life tips from WW: if you need to apologize to someone for being a dick, buying that person a gigantic bag of snacks is a good way to start.

--WW's "hoo-wee!" is priceless. Do not mess with Milly.

--it's okay, WW, you can admit you're sunk

--Throughout the series, if Vash is wearing his sunglasses and you can't see his eyes, he's in Stampede tough-guy-mode. Which is the biggest act he puts on, except... is it?

--"If people need helping, if I can, I have to help them. k?" damn, Milly, drop that mic

--the question is... is Milly helping? Or is she making things worse? She's going to get herself hurt in the process. Sounds like someone else we know.

--Meryl pulls a gun on Vash. He takes a risk that she's bluffing. She's crushed (he really is despicable, despite what she has seen?) she lashes out, she wants to kill him before he can kill the runaways... but somehow, she figures out he's bluffing too. And then, we see his eyes.

--And it's WW with a steel chair! er... Cross Punisher.

--Vash will use his terrible reputation to great effect when it serves a higher purpose. He'll be the fall guy. He's done it before. He'll do it again. He's got the scars to prove it.

--"I have altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further."

--Even Mr. Ultimate Pragmatist Hard Man Wolfwood, who held his own gun to his head to prove a point to the runaways, is disappointed that Vash isn't who WW thought he was.

--Milly sure packs a wallop. She probably got Vash the ice pack, though.

--Exit WW, stage left. Time to report in. Guess he fixed his bike.

Did not realize until just now that WW doesn't see Vash again until after the Fifth Moon incident, and how long have I been in this fandom? One hundred demerits.

[typingdyslexiaisathing]

Comfort Against Nightmares

Summary: Vash has a moment to help his girlfriend when she has a pretty bad nightmare. Which leads to them growing closer.

Characters: Vash the Stampede, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, OC

Content: casual talk, mention of depression, mention of violence, smoking, mention of self loathing

Waking up was not fun for Retha. Since she ended up jolting up out of the bed in a cold sweat. Only for her to realize she was alone in the room. Both her travel companions absent for it to just be her. So she took a moment to try and calm herself down. Which didn't work at all. Hugging her knees to her chest as she started to openly cry. Hard sobs coming out as she trembled in bed.

That was how Vash and Wolfwood found her. Both of them stilling at the door before Wolfwood opened it. His steps taking him to the dining room table to drag a chair towards the bed so he could sit himself down. While Vash just bolted to the bed to crawl into it and hug Retha as tight as possible. Sweet words holding concern and a trace of fear as he gathered his girlfriend into his arms. "Retha. Hey now. It's okay. We're here. What happened? Did you have a scary dream?"

Wolfwood sat in the chair to pull out a cigarette and light it. Watching as Vash scooted Retha closer to sit her in his lap. While Retha was so busy trying to wipe her eyes with her hands to clear them. Which was not working at all since she was still bawling and giving a few hiccups. So Wolfwood took his jacket off to hand it to Vash. Who placed the jacket around Retha's shoulders before rubbing her arms in an attempt to comfort her. Wolfwood breathed out for the fog of his cigarette to waft around him. "When you're ready. We can wait. Just tell us what it was. Then we will go from there."

Retha put her arms in the sleeves of the jacket to then nod her head. Vash wrapping his arms around her middle as she panted for air. But soon she started speaking with soft and aching words. "You would think that it wouldn't be that bad of a nightmare. Since we get shot at and chased around so much. But this one was so... Real..." Retha gave a hard cough to shake her head. "The both of you will insist it was just a bad dream. But it's something that outright terrifies me to think about. There was a time I was convinced by those around me that I didn't matter. That nobody cared about me at all. I had no place to live. No one would help me find shelter. Everyone just acted like it wasn't their problem. But the worst part was that... That... Both of you left..."

Wolfwood goes wide eyed as Vash openly freezes in shock. Retha giving a hard hiccup to then start crying even harder. So Wolfwood snubbed out his cigarette to move so he's sitting on the bed with them. Those calloused hands wrapping around Retha as Vash all but crushed her from behind in a bear hug. So Retha grabbed hold of Wolfwood's dress shirt in the back to just cry. Letting out more of her words with grief. "So many times I ask myself... Do I even matter? What good am I anyways? There is so much I can't do. And so often I make mistakes. Why would either of you want someone like me? It's so stupid to even think such a thing in the first place. If I didn't matter, you wouldn't want me around. So why do I have those questions keep coming up when I know the answer?"

Vash is already crying to give a hard sniffle of noise. His grip like steel as he buries his face into Retha's shoulder to shiver a little. So Wolfwood is the one to answer Retha's words. "Because it's natural. People doubt. People feel uncertain about tons of things. Hell. We both know Vash asks that very question way to damn much himself. Something I used to ask a lot, too. But then you tend to always grab me by the hand and tell me something that makes me laugh. Or you just hug Vash and shower him with attention. You do the same whenever the insurance girls are around. Getting Meryl a coffee while she types or telling Millie a funny story to get her giggling. It's just... Well... Human."

Vash gives a snort at the last word for Retha to note the given amusement and chuckle through her huffs for air. So Wolfwood leans in to place a chaste kiss to Retha's forehead before smirking at her. "See. We get it. It's okay. You ever have to ask that question again, you find us and pester us. I know I don't mind reminding you that you matter. Even if you can be a cynical pain in my ass. Also. Your very cuddle happy boyfriend will be more than happy to openly kiss the questions away. Am I right?" Vash stills to give a nervous squeak of a noise. His face and ears going a shade pinker as Retha gives soft chuckles of amusement. But then Retha leans back to turn herself around and melt into Vash's arms with a clear sign of relief. So Vash relaxes with her to smile also. His own words filled with love and warmth. "Right. We're here for you, sunbeam. Even if it gets rainy or stormy at times. I promise you this. You matter. Always."

[sid71blog]

Some upcoming films:

Apples are not the only fruit. I think that tomatoes are too, but I'm not sure; I'll look it up.

  Swirly Fortescue (Bobby Ball) is an ageing gay fella living in San Francisco with his younger lover Busty Hamilton (Dean Gaffney). The local government has decided to bulldoze the entire area that these two live in so that a lucrative bingo and whist drive hall can be built, and, due to Swirly having bet all their savings on Sunderland staying in the Premier League, they are totally skint, and have no choice but to move in with Busty’s homophobic, beer-swilling older brother Bruck (John Goodman). What follows is a moving look at the breaking down of barriers and prejudices, as Bruck slowly begins to appreciate musicals, John Barrowman, washing his pits and genitals EVERY day, and arty black and white posters of blokes with their big cocks out dotted all over the walls of his home, whilst simultaneously teaching them about indoor plumbing (not a euphemism), the correct belt fitting on your jeans so that just the right amount of bum-cleavage shows on the building site when you bend over, and farting into your mate’s pint in the pub when he goes for a shit.

  No-one came back alive; not even me.

  Drudge Hanktankerson (Clint Eastwood), is an old-timey sort living in a retirement home in California. Over time this cantankerous old codger befriends the young nurse L’il Sue Sugarstick (you won’t know her; crackin’ tits though), and eventually he begins to regale her with the harrowing tales of his time during World War Two. You will cry with her as he tells of his eighteen year old friend Brank Guthammmer dying screaming alone in a shell-hole, after a Stuka blows both his earlobes off; you will laugh as Drudge regales her with lighter battlefield moments, such as the time the lads painted a hand-grenade to look like a tin of Skol, and gave it to “Simple Dave” to pull the ring-pull; you will cry again as the lads bury Simple Dave ten minutes later; and you will have uncomfortable feelings, and mutter “this bit’s shit” to your girlfriend, during the bit where the young soldiers skinny dip in a French river.  

  Cropper.

  In this long-overdue Hollywood blockbuster based on the Coronation Street character, Channing Tatum is Roy Cropper, a man slightly flustered one reasonably busy Tuesday afternoon, when a minibus full of pensioners stops by and cleans him out of baps. In a performance already creating a strong Oscar buzz, Channing displays the full gamut of Roy’s emotional range, as we watch him ring Rita (Meryl Streep) to see if she has any baps in stock, and ask Gemma (Elizabeth Hurley) to mind the shop for a bit while he nips to the Cash and Carry. 

  Deaded to Death.

   Steven Segal (no way!) is Bronson Masticator, a retired UFC bigbone-weight world champion, down on his luck after gambling and drinking away all of his fortune. He now ekes out a living as a human panda in a shit zoo in the rough part of a rough town in a rough, intentionally vague South American country. He also bounces for a share of the tips and all the Fray Bentos pies he can eat at a local titty bar, run by the shady gangster Fuego “the castrator” Del Monte. One night Bronson witnesses a couple of Fuego’s heavies manhandling Paula Shane, the massively-popular drag tribute to Hi-de-Hi actor Paul Shane, currently on a massive stadium tour of South America, into the back of the club. Upon waking up the next morning in his rusty old caravan, he turns on his cracked old black and white television to see that the news is devoted to a $50 million ransom demanded for the return of Paula, and he must decide whether to do the right thing and take on his boss and assorted henchmen and free Paula, or keep his mouth shut and keep the Fray Bentos flowing.

  Paedon't you want Me?

   Gareth Possibly is a shy, thirty-four year old hamster-herder from Wolverhampton, who forms an attachment to Samantha Alannsuger, who moves in next door with her mother. A sweet bond unfolds between the pair of them over one long, hot summer, with Gareth slowly emerging from his brittle shell in the company of this talkative giggler, but complications inevitably set in as feelings go unreciprocated, and the nursery threaten to call the authorities if he doesn’t back off.

  Blood of the Chaffinch.

   Even eighteen year olds are advised to watch this accompanied by an older adult, so frightening is it rumoured to be. In Argentina forty two women fainted just upon seeing a badly-bootlegged t-shirt bearing the lead chaffinch hanging on a washing line, and at the premiere in Los Angeles one woman went into labour in the cinema, despite not being pregnant when the film started. The baby came out covered in BLOOD. Due to these haunting stories, the film has gained notoriety even before its world-wide release, and many reckon that it will do for chaffinches what Jaws did for Great Whites.   

  Cold cold Heart.  

   This Inuit romance wowed the critics at the inaugural Macduff film festival, causing many of the film critics to pretend to shed a manly tear, in the hope of a sympathy tug in the bogs afterwards.  Wee Beely Johnson is a lonely Inuit igloo salesman, doomed to a solitary life spent ploughing the snowwoman he has built most nights, or trying to convince himself that the three month old seal carcass in his front room is a comely mermaid. One night he finds a woman trapped by her leg in a bear trap he has set, and as she slowly recuperates in his igloo conservatory, feelings grow. It takes him four hours to feel his way through all the layers of fur, but eventually the relationship is consummated, and they live happily ever after. Well, until she starts to rot, being a fucking bear corpse that the mad old cunt has been shagging in the delusion that it’s a tidy bint.   

  The wrong Trousers.

   Hollywood live-action remake of Wallace and Gromit, starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Wallace, and Andy Serkis as a motion-capture CGI Gromit. In this slightly-tweaked story Wallace is a grizzled cop who doesn’t play by the rules, and Gromit is his loyal German Shepherd police dog. When investigating a drug deal the pair come to the attentions of the powerful drug lord “El Capitano”, who kills all of Gromit’s closest relatives, and blows up Wallace’s opulent beach-front property; that he can somehow afford on his policeman’s salary. The pair must hunt down El Capitano and put him out of business before he does the same to them, something not helped by Wallace’s alcohol problem. Also starring Charize Theron as the love interest. For Wallace, you sick bastard. 

  "Sorry Dad, you're breaking up, I'm just heading into a fudge tunnel". 

   This hilarious comedy stars Zac Efron as Billy Fronc, an eighteen year old who lives for partying with his friends. Mark Wahlberg is his seventeen year old buddy, “Stoner” Crud Mazzwick, and Adam Sandler is twenty year old layabout Freez Dirklange. After losing a bet with Crud’s older brothers Broxton and Steele, the three must spend a Saturday night at the city’s notorious gay club Oooooo, Get You! Initially reluctant to mingle in case they catch gay, after a few rounds of confidence-boosting and trouser-slackening tequila they are soon dancing up a storm on the dancefloor with their new friends.  Well, apart from Wahlberg’s character of course; he had it written into the script that he won’t let any “bummer” near his meat and two meat (no girly veg for Mark), and in fact his character gets into a fight with three burly homosexual men after one of them gives a lascivious look in the vague direction of Mark’s ashtray.

Mark wins.

Obviously.

   No room at the inn for Jar Jar.

   This sombre, black and white documentary follows what happens to Jar Jar Binks, after his unpopular starring role in some shit prequel or other. A sobering look at the American dream gone wrong, we follow a desolate Jar Jar as he repeatedly auditions for further acting roles, only to be turned away time and time again. We watch his slow descent into alcoholism, every drink punctuated by his sobbed mutterings of “Meesa fuckwit”, as he tortures himself watching a worn-out DVD of his only major role over and over again.

  No tulips in December.

   Sally Algernon (Dot Cotton) has been living in the old people’s home of her quiet part of Boston for seven years now. Her husband long dead and her children busy washing their hair, besides exchanging pleasantries with the nurses she has little to fill her days, apart from an ongoing feud with Gertrude Begonia (Honor Blackman) over who gets to sit in the best chair in the TV room. All this changes when a new gardener, Bowl Funterton (Russ Abbott), begins tending the gardens of the home (again, not a euphemism). Seeing his shirtless exertions, with his darts-honed physique and rippling liver spots, awakens feelings in Sally that she had thought long dormant. Soon she is flirting suggestively over a plate of Hobnobs, and being “accidently” caught walking cardigan-less in front of her window, with its deliberately open curtains. Unfortunately, there is a spanner in the works in her attempts to attract his attentions: she is surrounded by young, attractive NURSES, so she could ride a unicorn whilst juggling the Arsenal youth team and farting the theme tune to EastEnders perfectly, and she still wouldn’t be able to drag Bowl’s eyes away from young Samantha’s shapely arse.  

  A banjo for Billy.

   Cuthbert Faintlyaromatic and his wife Cynthia are dealt a crushing blow when, after seven years of trying, they finally have a child, only for young Billy to be born with the rare disease Kenny Loggins’ contraption. With knees for eyes, hairy teeth, a hunch-back AND a hunch-bum, continuous flatulence, an ingrown penis (on his tongue), and an allergy to his own nostrils, there is as yet no known cure for this horrible affliction, and those first few months tested their partnership to its limits. Just when things seemed totally desolate, a kindly doctor rescues them from despair, when he hands over an old banjo of his Grandads in exchange for Billy, as he needs something to lay on the floor in front of his living room door, to keep the draught out. Oh, did you think that maybe Billy would grow up and find meaning in his existence with the discovery of a musical gift or summat? Sorry.