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mevaughan · 9 years ago

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So, I just discovered that you write fanfiction of your own work. While most of them are AUs and crossovers, one of them, "Just for Today", took place within the actual timeline. Does this mean that ACTUALLY HAPPENED and Merchary is canonish, but you just didn't want it in the book?

Hi Anon,

This is an interesting question, and I’ll explain why in a second. First, I need to clarify that ‘Just for Today’ and it’s sequel ‘One More Day’ are both alternative time-lines, and are therefor NOT canon.

Now, the question of Merchary being canonish…Well, it’s an interesting one. I have felt for some time that Zachary and Rufus would have actually made quite a good pairing, under different circumstances. They are both rather intense people, but they do suit each other, under the right light.

Part of my writing that fanfic (and subsequent sequels) is that, had these events transpired in the books, it would have been the only way that the pair of them might have actually gotten together. As it were, they did not, and at the moment, it is deeply unlikely that any romantic feelings could develop. (Though, Blood of the Delphi does contain a scene where Rufus confesses that he was interested in Zachary, with a brief explanation of why he never persued him.)

The reason Merchary isn’t canon, even though they could have made a good pair is all circumstantial. Here are a few of them:

There was really only one viable time when a relationship could have sparked between them, and it would be between the year Rufus lost Mielane, and Sverrin died. (This is when the fanfic was written.) That they didn’t hook up, is because of a number of reasons:

Rufus was utterly heart-broken and deeply depressed, and avoided people.

Rufus has always presumed Zachary is straight* (we’ll go into Zachary’s sexuality in a minute, but what’s important here is the perception)

Zachary is a very private person, and doesn’t like people prying into his own problems, and subsequently wouldn’t push others unless necessary…As such, he would have given Rufus space to deal with his grief, and waited for Rufus to come to him.

Rufus would have never come to him, because Rufus hordes his pain like treasure, and doesn’t like to let others in, if he can help it.

Rufus sought physical comfort during this time, but would usually go for partners who were pursuing him, and with whom he had an understanding. Zachary (again, we’ll go into sexuality in a minute) wouldn’t have pursued Rufus, and thus Rufus wouldn’t have paid much mind.

After a year, it might have been possible for Rufus to get out of his headspace a little, and find love elsewhere, and maybe spark things up with Zachary, but unfortunately Sverrin died…And thus Zachary was thrown into his own pit of depression, and became quite aggressive. His blaming of Jionathan put Zachary and Rufus on different sides…So whilst they were still bonded by feelings of comradory and their relationship as apprentices, the tense scenario wouldn’t have given room for romantic feelings to develop. This is, of course, only intensified by the events at the end of The Sons of Thestian.

You may ask, at this point, if it is all circumstantial, why I simply didn’t change the circumstances to fit them together, if they fit so well?

I have a number of reasons for this:

The plot for The Sons of Thestian came much before I really knew who Zachary was as a character. (I knew Rufus pretty well from the start, but Zachary only really came out during the second book, and the re-writes of the first)

By the time Zachary was developed enough for me to know he could work with Rufus, the books were already well underway.

I had the option of changing things, but the fact of the matter is, this isn’t a story about a relationship, it’s about something much bigger (romance has always been secondary in The Harmatia Cycle) and giving Rufus and Zachary the facilities to have had a relationship, is likely to have altered a great deal of the major events…since they’re both such key-players, and alot of things are sparked by their divided loyalties and their unhappiness.

I could have still put them in a relationship, and made it break apart, but that would have felt rather shoe-horned in. Both Rufus and Zachary are people who’s character arcs are based on their fault of living in the past. In Rufus’s case, his ability to let go of the past allows him to ultimately grow, whereas Zachary inability ends with him doing something quite stupid. If the pair of them had been in a relationship, that would have been a sign of them looking forward, rather than back, which wouldn’t have fit the overall theme.

I have always been a fan of looking at love in a practical way, in all it’s forms - sibling, friendship, family, relationship. Having a ‘could have been, but isn’t’ relationship is one I wanted to include. This is because the ‘one who got away’ trope is often seen in movies (usually with a sexual undertone), but I didn’t want to do that. So often we see potential friendship turn into love, so I think it’s nice to have (and acknowledge) potential love turned into friendship…and a real friendship, not a sexually tense ‘what if’ kind. Sometimes two people could literally be perfect for each other, but circumstances prevent them…And I don’t mean in a ‘Romeo and Juliet’ kind of way, I mean that something between them prevents the possibility of that spark ever igniting. And that is a very real thing that happens in the day to day.

Now, finally, with regards to Zachary’s sexuality, because I said I would discuss it. Anyone who has seen my previous posts about the different character sexuality in The Harmatia Cycle will have noted that I’ve listed Zachary as demisexual. He is, however, quite a complex little puppy.

If asked, in our modern sense, what Zachary is, he would identify as straight. Why? Because Zachary’s only sexual encounter in the story was with a woman named Isolde, whom he fell inlove with when he was young. This relationship, without giving too much away, did not end well, and since it’s break, Zachary hasn’t really been interested in falling in-love again.

He is undriven by any sexual desires, (these only really pop up if he has a relationship with someone) and as such he is quite happy to live without ever having sex again. He’s also a Magi, likely to live to 250+, so he’s not in any great hurry to get a wife who he knows will likely die long before he does…Not a tempting prospect.

Zachary has also proven to be quite subservient in all manner of relationships; he a commander and a lord, but is actually quite reluctantly dominant. (Again, this is another key difference between Rufus and Zachary - Rufus is a leader, pretending to be a follower, and Zachary is a follower who, by self-made necessity, has become a leader.)

Because Zachary doesn’t really feel sexual attraction to people, because he’s only been inlove with a woman, and because of the general template he sees around him, he can only really imagine himself as straight. He is unlikely to consider men; because it wouldn’t occur to him that he’d be interested, though he has canonically demonstrated some curiosity in this regard (because of Marcel and Emeric’s relationship).

So, as we can see, there are alot of things working against Merchary in this regard, not least theres a self-confidence issue too with Zachary…Because whilst Zachary demands respect from those around him, he doesn’t really expect anyone to actually love him. So if someone WAS hitting on him, he probably wouldn’t notice, unless they were laying it on thick.

As such, for Zachary and Rufus’s relationship to have worked, they would need the following:

Rufus would have had to make the advance.

They would have both needed to be single, and undivided in loyalty (so it would have had to have happened in that year between Mielane and Sverrin)

At least one of them would have had to be in a relatively good head-space. (Cutting a few months out of that year, because Rufus couldn’t have even considered it after the first few months)

They would have either had to have some time together intimately, away from the rest of the world (eg. an assignment elsewhere) to allow feelings to develop naturally, or they would have had to have had an intense encounter (as in the fanfic) which didn’t leave much thinking room, otherwise Zachary would logic himself out of the situation, and dismiss any interest he has in Rufus as something else.

Basically, it’s possible…Just as most relationships are possible, in the right circumstances, but in this case, it didn’t come to pass.

I do, however, as shown with my fanfics, really love to write Merchary, because I think they’re great together, in whatever capacity - as friends or lovers.

Sorry for long-winded response, but I hope it’s answered your question!

#Madeleine answers a question #demisexual #Arlen Zachary #Merchary #Harmatia Cycle #LGBT literature #Rufus Merle #The Sons of Thestian

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mevaughan · 10 years ago

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23 - “Just once.” OR 24 - “You’re the only one I trust to do this.” - Lufae OR Zufus. Have fun friend <3

“Would you hurry up, Merle - I have a battle to return to!” Zachary growled, and Rufus stopped short, and lent around, staring Zachary hard in the face.

“Do you have any idea of the complexity of what you are asking me to do!?”

“It’s an arrow, Merle. It’s stuck in my shoulder. I’m asking you to pull it out. Simple.” Zachary said with all the indifference he could muster. Rufus wanted to choke him.

“It is not just an arrow.” Rufus returned to work, “It is an arrow with a head made of mica, which - miraculously - hasn’t shattered! I pull it out too quickly and it will break apart, leaving tiny residual pieces in the wound which will prevent both of us from being able to heal it. And if that didn’t already complicate matters, you won’t let me cut your shirt off to get better access to the wound, which is already at an odd-angle, making it difficult to remove the shaft. There is nothing simple about this.”

“I am not letting you destroy my shirt; I fully intend to return to this battle when your through, and I am not doing it naked.” Zachary grunted.

“You’ll be doing it dead at this rate!” Rufus snapped, “Alright, stay still; I am going to try and widen the wound to help loosen the shaft. This is going to hurt.”

“Do your worst.” Zachary invited and then became extremely still as Rufus began to cut into the flesh. His silence unnerved Rufus, who struggled to concentrate. Despite making no noise, Rufus could feel Zachary taking deep, controlling breaths, his chest shuddering a little from the strain of maintaining this even respiration.

Rufus managed to loosen the arrow and slowly began to draw it out. But just then, from outside the medic’s tent, there was a sudden, tremendous bang and Rufus jerked, ripping the arrow out with more force than he intended. He heard Zachary inhale sharply in pain, but he didn’t cry out.

“Shit!” Rufus cursed, “Shit, shit, shit!”“Relax,” Zachary eased, “It was just a stray projectile. We’re out of the range of the catapults.”

“No,” Rufus shook his head, “That’s not it.” he held up the arrow head, to show that the top was missing. “It broke off! It’s still inside you. Shit!” Rufus looked at the wound which was bleeding freely now, no longer corked by the arrow.

“I can feel it.” Zachary agreed solemnly, “I think it’s still intact.”

“Oh Athea, you’re bleeding too much. Septus, I can’t heal this.”

“Merle, relax.” Zachary eased, “You just need to dig in and remove the last part. You got the rest out without it shattering, you can get this bit out too.”

“No, you don’t understand…” Rufus began to gabble, “I can’t see it! Septus, you’re losing too much blood.” Rufus scrabbled, applying pressure to the wound. “I need to wrap it up. I can’t take it out here.”

“Merle,” Zachary glanced out toward the battle, where shouts and cries were echoing from the feild, “They need me out there. With magic. I can’t fight or transform if I have mica inside of me. You have to remove it. Now.”

“I can’t.” Rufus shook his head.

“Yes, you can.”

“No! I shouldn’t have even been doing this procedure at all! I’m closing the wound. Lord Edwin will have to see to you later.”

“Rufus.” Zachary snapped sharply, “There is no time. Our people are dying, our friends. You need to remove it, now…We cannot afford to be another Magi down.”

Rufus bit his lip, and made to run his hands through his hair, stopping as he saw the bright stain of blood on each one. He struggled and then spat and cursed. “Alright, lie-flat and keep still…This is going to hurt even more than before.”

Zachary obeyed silently and Rufus set to work, his jaw once more clenched. His hands were shaking as he went in toward the wound. What if he did something wrong and made matters even worse? He hesitated at the mouth of the wound.

“I don’t think I can do this…” he said in a small voice.

“Rufus, you’re the only one who can do this.” Zachary said quietly, “The only one I trust to do it.”

Rufus shook his head, forcing out a laugh, “Now you’re just emotionally manipulating me.”

“Is it working?”

“Be quiet; and stop moving.” Rufus lent down toward the wound, “I’m trying to work.”

#merchary #sot drabble #The Sons of Thestian

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