#Megatron: STARSCREAM YOU FOOL WHERE IS THE ENERGON FOR TABLE 8

[kingcrustacean]

Why is he so hard to draw

[elindae-writes]

Can we maybe get more “awful party at Megatron’s sitcom” content please? Thank you!

i have complied

Picture them in a normal suburban house. It's stupider that way.

The Decepticoms

Knock Out and Breakdown spend the episode trying to find increasingly creative and stupid ways to avoid the "partay" but each attempt results in failure.

Breakdown: Swim. We can swim. To the surface of the Atlantic! Knock Out: You're a truck you can't SWIM, you're a grounder not a swimmer you FOOL

They get stuck in a hallway and realize that Megatron and the others are down a sidehall in the room nearby--so they can't get away without running past the hallway. In full sight of the "partay." Knock Out: Breakdown, I can't handle this, I can't! They are right there! The "party" moved closer! Breakdown: Babe it's fine, if we just go really fast they won't see us Knock Out: Breakdown  n o-- Breakdown crouches down and runs by the hallway Megatron: breakdown. my second. why are you crawling? Breakdown: ... Megatron: ... Breakdown: Cleaning. I was cleaning the floor. Megatron tosses over a cleaning rag that awkwardly flops onto Breakdown's face and rolls a spray bottle over to him. Breakdown awkwardly crawls along the floor rubbing at nonexistent spots for the rest of the episode. Knock Out peers past the corner of the hallway. He sees Breakdown awkwardly try to clean the shattered 8-inch wide computer screen Starscream broke earlier. Knock Out then cries.

This happens, but with Megatron. Megatron tries to sing Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer, but here is the issue: he only knows the bit where the singer goes oHhHhHhH hold me cloooseerrr tiny dancerrr--

y'know, that one section of lyrics that everybody thinks makes up the whole song but that is only actually briefly sung over two minutes in.

The camera awkwardly pans between Starscream, Optimus, and well, everybody. Every time Megs thinks he can begin singing he’s wrong. Every time it pans over to Megatron it is increasingly zoomed in and there are visible beads of sweat on his faceplate. Soundwave is napping on the couch. The camera zooms in so close onto Megatron that all you can see is just the grey metal of his forehead. Optimus tries to awkwardly sip from a cube that is now empty. He knows it's empty.

Megatron: i... i swear i love this song

Everybody:

Breakdown is just awkwardly rubbing a coffee table leg with a dishcloth the entire time. His hunched-over form moves around at the bottom of the camera frame.

Airachnid tries to join the party. Breakdown just squirts her with the spray bottle before then shutting a sliding door over her face that clonks shut. It's one of those sliding doors with a foggy glass design. Her blurry silhouette is visible through it for the rest of the episode.

The song ends and the buzz of the air conditioner is painfully loud.

Megatron puts on some cheerful Decepticon-made corporate backing music in order to lighten the mood.

Megatron awkwardly gets up and grabs a cube of energon from the kitchen. He walks back into the family room intending to feed the "guests" with it. Time to diffuse the concrete-thick tension! He casually tosses it up and down as if it's a football and as if he's a cool '90s teenage kid in a Disney Channel production movie

Megatron: hey everybody here's the FOOD--

He tosses it up and it gets fwipped by the ceiling fan into a potted plant. It topples over and there is now actual dirt for Breakdown to clean! He gasps in excitement.

Awkward silence. Megatron audibly gulps.

Megatron: ... starscream's fault

Starscream: I have been sitting in this papasan chair the ENTIRE TIME--

context for what kind of chair that is and how he's sitting in it is in this picture below

Starscream: MEGATRON YOU IDIOT

Megatron: STARSCREAM YOU SLUT

They just all stare at each other. Breakdown has paused in cleaning the dirt.

Megatron sits down on the ottoman in front of the TV and watches QVC for a solid silent ten minutes. It's Christmas in July.

Optimus puts his servo on Starscream's shoulder and hoarsely whispers to him.

Optimus: Calm. Calm down. Please.

Starscream: You look like you're about to cry.

Optimus visibly winces.

Megatron leaves the room for a moment to hype himself up for the next round of fun party activities. OP and Star make a break for it like in this video, except they're Jim and it's Shockwave on the roof in place of Creed. Same energy.

Optimus ducks inside of a closet and Starscream isn't fast enough getting inside of it. He gets caught by Megan and claims he's searching for Optimus as well.

Megatron: why are you here? and not at the Fun Zone?

Starscream: ...I, too, am searching for Prime.

He then rifles through files in a metal drawer. Awkward paper shuffling noises last for several seconds as Megatron breathes over Star's shoulder.

Megatron: i don't think he's in there

Everybody searches for Optimus. The closet he's in has a light on in it. The carpet shag in front of the closet is slightly indented from giant pedesteps and everybody clusters outside it all knowing OP is inside. The light is visible through the crack under the shut door.

Megatron: how can you partay in there

Optimus turns the light off.

Ratchet breaks in to "rescue" everybody but is forced by Megatron to sit with the others at the dining table. A recliner is pulled up to it for him and he sinks deep into it as Megatron spends 40 seconds pouring croutons onto Ratchet's salad.

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Optimus: i ran over megatron in my car Starscream: Optimus, you are a car

Optimus: i may or may not have beaten him over the helm with someone else's.

Starscream: O P T I M U S