#Medic when I'm close to the edge and feel like getting mad at something more stupid

[johnnysstars]

My pieces for Tftober so far! Day 1: Main I main both Pyro and Medic depending on my mood. Day 2: Hat I love that Pyro cosmetic and that silly pose so I combined the two why not

[xxsabitoxx]

Fushiguro Megumi hates it when you get injured.

Something about it, no matter how big or small the injury is, just gets under his skin and pisses him off. Which comes off has him being mad at you, unfortunately. It’s not his intention, fuck no, he’s just so upset it happened in the first place.

It’s not till you get injured bad that you realize he’s not mad at you, rather, he’s mad at himself. There is a lingering guilt in Megumi’s eyes when you get hurt, as if he failed you.

“You know this isn’t your fault, right?” You had questioned late one night, laying in an infirmary bed with an IV in your arm because Shoko’s technique and the curse’s attack were not working well together. Meaning you were on strict bed rest until you were fully healed. Megumi hated that too, of course.

He didn’t answer, instead he flipped the page of his book with pursed lips. “I’m talking to you, Meg. It’s rude to ignore.” That got to him, closing his book slowly as he dragged his eyes up the bed to look at you. “You know this isn’t your fault, right?”

You repeated your previous statement, knowing he heard you the first time but he wouldn’t answer unless you asked again. “Yeah.” His tone was low, not convincing whatever. “Liar.” You shot back, moving your arm to rub your tired eyes.

Megumi watched the tube move with you, the dark liquid slowly dripping from the bag down the line and into your veins. “I’m not lying.” He nearly spat, anger bubbling in his gut at the sight of the retched medical machinery you were hooked too.

You sighed, “I’m sorry for getting hurt. I know it’s frustrating and all but li-“ but Megumi was cutting you off with a near incredulous look. “What?” Was all he said, leaving you to blink at him as you tried to wrap your head around his confusion.

“Y-you’re mad cause I’m careless, right? Because I keep weighing you down by getting myself injured?” You stated this as if it were factual, watching Megumi’s face morph into one of genuine bewilderment and mild offense.

“No?! What the fuck makes you think that?!”

"Because... you don't talk to me for like three days after the fact?" Megumi couldn't exactly fight you on that. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it really did come off that way. "I...shit no that's not..." he tossed his book on your bed, hands coming up to rub his face as he tried to collect his thoughts.

"I'm not mad at you. I've never once been mad at you for getting injured. I just..." he sighed, turning to look at you now "...I just get frustrated with myself. I don't like seeing you hurt, it makes me feel like I didn't do enough. Then, I sit here promising myself to do better for you the next time we go out on a mission together, and then we end up right back here. With you in a hospital bed."

Megumi's face had turned a shade of pink. He always felt fidgety having these kinds of conversations. Especially with you, especially about his feelings. "Oh..." you started, mulling over his words carefully before sighing. "You can't beat yourself up over this stuff, Megumi. It's my life and my choice to be a sorcerer. Getting hurt is part of the job." You watched him shift in his chair.

"I know it's part of the job. I just don't like seeing you get hurt. Especially when I'm supposed to be supporting you. We're supposed to look out for each other on these missions and I keep failing you." Megumi's eyes darted anywhere around the room, hands folding neatly as he tried not to seem nervous.

"Megumi." You stated it bluntly, praying he'd look up. He did, of course, he did. For some reason, he couldn't deny you when you said his name like that. "C'mere." you whispered, motioning him to sit on the edge of your bed. He listened, getting up to move the small distance and trying his best to keep you stable as the bed dipped.

"You can't go on with your life quietly beating yourself up for things that are out of your control... and mine for that matter." Your hand carefully reaches up to touch his cheek, smiling at the warmth burning under your fingertips. Megumi looks at you, head-turning reluctantly. "I love you too much to let you feel guilty."

Quiet. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The look on Megumi's face was utterly priceless. Pure disbelief. No way he heard you correctly. His tired mind and sore back must be playing tricks on him. "You... what?" He croaked, brows furrowing in denial. You smile, huffing out a laugh. "I said I love you, Megumi."

He wasn't sure how to act in that moment. Every word he could think of was fizzling out before it could reach his mouth. Instead of killing himself trying to respond verbally, Megumi did the only thing he could think of. A surprised squeak left you as his lips pressed against yours, hands shaking as they gingerly cupped your cheeks.

The kiss itself lasted maybe twenty seconds, leaving you a little breathless from being unprepared as he pulled away. "I... guess that means you love me too?" you teased him, a grin on your face. Softly, Megumi huffed out a laugh before responding.

"Yeah, it means I love you too."

Started this a few days ago and didn’t even realize it was Megumi’s birthday today! So, happy birthday, Meg :)

Hope you enjoyed! - May

[starryylies]

Hi !!! Idk if you've done this already but can you do my angel boy Gaz and Ghost with a girl who love scary movies ??? I feel like they'd totally have the mentality of "I gotta comfort her when she's scared" but Gaz specifically flinches and I think Si would like "brace" if that makes sense like wincing his eyes. I dunno if you've done something like that but your emo story reminded me of me and it made me so happy I'm a metalhead and I was gonna ask for more but it was already in there and that just mad emy day ilysm already okay bye -🫀

Simon n Gaz watching a horror movie with s/o

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Again so sorry (I’m sorry for saying sorry sm) but like Omg I love this cuz I love horror smmmm!!! Insidious,suspiria,Bwp, conjuring you name it I love them omgggg.

So thank you so much for the awesome ask and I hope you enjoy it 🩷🩷🩷

Also I used the movies sinister and lights out for the references :))

SIMON-

♰ he thought watching the movie sinister will be fun cuz he thought he could protect you from the jumpscares

♰ he needs to be protected from the damn movie tho (okay this movie is fucked up tho and it’s totally normal to be scared)

♰in the beginning he thought it will be some poorly made movie with shit ass jumpscares but boy was he wrong

♰ when the scene of the family hanging themselves comes on he was taken aback and he lets out an audible wince shutting his eyes

♰ he genuinely finds the movie scary and gory, cannot help but find himself wince and shut his eyes whenever he thinks there will be a jumpscare

♰ as the movie progressed and the other tapes were revealed he just couldn’t take it anymore, his limit broke off when the mowing scene came

♰ but you seemed to be enjoying the movie, anticipating what the next scene will reveal

♰ he shut the tv before he could see further, it was too much for him

♰ “fuckin hell love this movie is a fuckin nightmare” he groans

♰ “noo It’s a well made film :( plus I enjoy a good scare ya know”

♰ god how could you be so chill with it, he can’t tell if he should admire you or keep his distance

♰dw he admires you :)

♰ keeps on ranting about how he’d never do such a stupid fucking thing

♰ says Ellison was a stupid fuckin idiot for getting his family there and curses him for the rest of the day

♰ asks you your opinion on the movie and who you think is recording the tapes

♰ ends up going on the net to see how the movie ends cuz he can’t let it go

♰when he finds out the ending he has an ‘aha’ moment.

♰ tries watching the movie again but ends up stopping in the beginning itself cuz he can’t handle it.

♰ probably doesn’t want kids after this movie

GAZ-

♰ Awh this poor guy just wanted to watch a scary movie with you to hold you when you’re scared but it kinda ends up being the opposite

♰ you both decide on watching lights out (I wanted to pick hereditary or mother but too much cuz I’m writing this at 3am)

♰ see lights out is a Pretty chill film but Diana is creepy as hell and sadly gaz became a victim to Diana’s jumpscares

♰ when she killed the dad gaz visibly flinched like on the edge of the sofa hoping the dad would survive

♰ but boom the bitch killed him :/

♰ felt really bad for the brother (Martin)

♰sympathised with him a lot by saying he’s a good kid and that he’s really strong.

♰ surprised on how you’re not getting scared or anything

♰ thinks that you have watched this film before

♰ gaz got shit scared during the scene where Rebecca and her boyfriend came and Diana creeped around them

♰ the end made him tear up just a lil :(

♰ you ended up comforting him holding him close cuz he felt bad about their mom

♰ thinks it’s adorable how you give lil facts about the movie from time to time though.

♰ cursed Diana for the rest of the day,

♰ if you take any medications, don’t worry you’ll never miss them now cuz gaz will make sure you eat yours on time

♰ keeps the bathroom and living room lights on that night

♰ will search for movies like lights out

♰ will never watch them though

♰ is proud that he got closer to you tho

♰ will definitely hold you the entirety of the movie

♰ will never have a horror movie date again tho

♰ but will watch a horror movie with you if you ask him cuz how can he say no to you :))

[wanderingjedi77]

Hi, can I get a bo x femreader where reader gets hurt on a mission and Bo carries her back to the ship to help her and it's whump and fluff?

Hey Anon. Absolutely! I hope this is alright. :) thank you for the request.

Bo Katan x Fem!Reader (Wounded)

The shot comes so suddenly you don't feel it at first. The laser of the blaster rifle sneaks past a gap in your armor as you try to move forward to the next position. When you try to take the next step you're legs crumple beneath you, and that's the moment you feel a searing pain in your abdomen, and you scream.

There's a ringing in your ears as you put your hands over your wound, trying to keep pressure on it like you had been taught, but the only thing that subsides is the ringing in your ears as you hear a desperate shout of,

"She's been shot!"

There's more shooting from behind you as your comrades move up, and then Bo Katan's helmet comes into view as her clan lays down covering fire.

"Y/n? Y/n? Stay with me." Bo says desperately. She removed your hands to look at your wound and hisses in surprise and anger. "Those bastards," Bo says angrily to herself, and you cry out in pain. "I'm going to get you out of here."

She picks you up with little effort, and turns away fron the battle as she begins to jog, one of your arms around her neck and one pressing on your own injury.

"I'm sorry Bo." You winch as a wave of pain rolls through you. "I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay. I'm getting you somewhere safe." Bo tells you, "I just need you to stay with me okay?" She glanced down at you as your eyes close and Bo feels her stomach twist with worry. No, please. Stay awake y/n.

You're eyes open briefly enough to look at Bo, and then shut again. You're so tired. You realize suddenly. You just want to sleep.

"I've got you. Stay with me y/n." Bo adjusts you in her arms and you grip her shoulder tightly, heading lulling against her armor, fading in and out of consciousness.

By the time you reach the medbay, you've lost consciousness completely and it's only the rise and fall of your chest that let's Bo know your alive. She watches as the medical droids get to work on your wound, give you bacta and wrap your abdomen in a bacta patch and some bandages. They try to reassure Bo that you will wake up soon, but she stays there worried long after then have gone; helmet on the edge of your bed.

She's running her hands through her hair, sitting in a chair next to your bed when you wake up. You reach out slightly and say her name and Bo jumps in her chair.

"Y/N." Bo quickly kisses you and looks so immensely relieved that you feel your heart skip a beat. "I'm so glad you're alright."

"I'm fine. Just really sore Bo." You reply, exhausted. "I'm sorry I got shot. I wasn't trying to worry you."

"Just be more careful next time hm?" Bo scolds you, but she doesn't sound mad.

"Yes Princess." You reply, and Bo runs her arm up your arm, stopping short of your neck as you shiver.

"Did you carry me all the way here?" You ask her suddenly, and Bo nods.

"I had to get you out of there." Bo replies in a voice that leaves no room for argument. "Everyone else is fine." She adds at your look of concern. "We all made it out."

"Okay." You reply, defeated. You feel exhausted and sink further into your pillows with a sigh. "Will you stay with me for a while Bo? Please."

"Yes." Bo smiles softly and cups your face with her hands. "I love you Meshla." She kisses you softly and you're eyes close as one of her hands slips behind your head.

"I love you too Princess." You reply, breaking the kiss. You lean your forehead against hers, and look into Bo's eyes.

"What?" Bo asks.

"Nothing. I just...I'm thinking about how lucky of a woman I am to have you, Bo." You blush as she smirks, and pulls her hands away from your face.

"Oh?" Bo asks, amused. "Mhmm. Well, I'm even luckier to have you by my side y/n. You give me something to come back to every day." She kisses you again, and for a moment the pain fades, and it's only you and Bo.

[vorchagirl]

❆ Harry/Sara please!

Oooh, a "but they're in the next room" kiss - nice! This will work well for my Harry & Sara from my fic Girl From Mars (it's on AO3) - they hook up on earth before they leave for Andromeda. The lovey art above is by @jubberry :)

-

Sara shivered as Harry's hands moved over her body, checking her suits connections to the cryo pod before he put her under. The thought of being put to sleep for 600 years, of trusting in machines to keep her alive, frozen in time, and to wake her up, filled her with fear. What if something went wrong? What if never woke up? Or worse still, what if her pod malfunctioned and she woke up mid-journey?

Trapped.

His hands felt strong and warm as they traced wires and doubled checked the pod seals, and his expression was serious as he took one final reading of her vitals. He glanced over his shoulder, checking that the room was empty before he gently pushed a stray lock of her hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek.

"Don't be nervous," Harry said softly. "It'll just be like going to sleep."

Sara leaned into his touch, enjoying the warmth of his hand on her face. She couldn't help but remember the way his hands had felt on her naked body; the way they'd moved over and held her close. No one had ever made her feel so loved, so safe.

"Harry?" She caught his hand with hers, and sat up one elbow, her green eyes wide. "What if something goes wrong?"

He paused for a moment and then squeezed her hand. "Nothing will go wrong. Your father has made sure of that. He wouldn't let you come along if he thought there was any danger."

Sara nodded, but the fear didn't fade and she didn't let go of his hand. Harry moved closer and sat on the edge of her cryo pod.

"Sara, you know I wouldn't let anything happen to you." He leaned close, his eyes flicking to the door that stood between them and the remainder of medical staff and Sara's father, who were in the next room. "I'm going to make sure that I'm the last thing you see before you go to sleep, and I'll be there in Andromeda to wake you up. You'll be fine."

She bit her lip, and then leaned close, pressing her lips to Harry's before he could pull away or object. It was madness, she knew, to kiss him like this here. There were security cameras and her father was a few steps away. If he walked in and saw them, realised that his daughter and his best friend had been sneaking around behind his back...

Harry didn't seem to care though. He kissed her back with a passion that made Sara's toes curl and chased the horrible icy fear away. His hand tangled in her hair, holding her close as he deepened the kiss, his tongue swirling around hers. Hungry. Needy. Excited. He drew back slowly, playfully nipping at her lower lip as she sank back into her cryo pod.

"I can't believe I have to wait 600 years to kiss you again," she complained, and let her breath out in a huff as she sank back in the pod. "But at least you'll be there."

He chuckled, and it was a very low masculine sound. "Careful, sweetheart," Harry murmured as he stroked a hand through her hair. "You get too excited to see me when you wake up and I'm going to start thinking this is more than a casual fling. " He winked at her. "Not that I'd complain if you wanted to make our arrangement more permanent."

Sara wanted to laugh and say something funny or cool, but she didn't. She squeezed his hand and flashed him a slow smile. "You're too damned charming for your own good, Doc."

A door whirred nearby, and Sara heard the sound of her father's voice as he walked into the room with a med tech, deep in conversation. Neither of them even looked in their direction, they were so consumed with their own work.

Harry grinned and stood up. "What can I say, Sara? I aim to please. Now, sweet dreams and I'll see you on the other side."

"Good night, Harry." Sara took a chance and blew him a kiss, grinned as he chuckled and walked away.

[blue-nardo]

"Stitched Apology."

OOC: Welcome back to another episode of OP is writing a fanfic! I was supposed to do one of these before, of Leo and Miyamoto meeting peacefully, buuuuut work takes priority, so I'm sorry to make you guys wait so long for a second update!

Content warnings include implied sexual activities - though done so without the intention of sexualizing the characters - as well as descriptions of injuries and stitches. And heartfelt conversation. I guess. Enjoy!

Leo has a difficult relationship with silence. On the one hand, if he's in a room with other people, it's suffocating and stifling, and it puts him on edge. The same when he's on a mission, looking for something or someone, but having no sound to focus on? It just doesn't sit right with him, and it works his anxiety to levels unlike anything else. 

Right now he's stuck between wanting to stay safe in the quiet, or engaging with the last person on earth he wants to talk to right now; Yuichi. 

His arm stings. Like, it really stings - during the fight he hadn't thought much about the size of the cuts or the fact that they were too deep, too strung out on adrenaline and the focus that's started to settle in his mind when he and his brothers are in a fight. Coming back to wash the Kraang goop off of him had revealed how bad the gashes were - not closing on their own and flowing fresh blood. 

They weren't spurting or gushing, so he was fine on the severed artery front. That being said, they still needed to be stitched, and he knew better than to let his brothers help. Casey or April would have been good options, if they weren't also busy helping Donnie with Sister Kraang. Dad wasn't even an option, because frankly he didn't know anything medically outside of CPR and basic first aid. And Cassandra? No way did he trust her with something like this. 

Leo had been totally fine - eh, more or less - with stitching his arm up on his own, but then Miyamoto and Yuichi had walked in on him, and while the horror in their faces had been funny at first, Leo had quickly realized they were far too eager to help. 

Miyamoto had left them both to get better bandages, to prevent an infection - oh god what would an infection mean with a wound like this? Would he lose his arm? Had they really not prevented the future at all?? - and to keep the wound closed. Yuichi had stayed behind to do the stitching, and loathe as Leo was to admit it, the rabbit knew what he was doing. 

That was not the first time he'd thought that about Yuichi's hands. 

So there he sat, suffering as he silently looked away from where Yuichi was sewing his rough skin back together. It hurt like a bitch, but it had to be done since Leo didn't exactly have a numbing agent in the medbay. Talking would normally be his go to here, to distract himself, but talking to Yuichi? After last night? He'd rather face the Kraang again. 

"... Can I talk to you about last night?"

Guck. 

Leo inhales slow and measured, trying not to flinch at the question. Yuichi is asking to talk to him about the thing he specifically hadn't wanted to talk about. Easy peasy. He could do that. 

"What about it?" he tries to deflect. "The concert was loud. You and your bro didn't like it, so you left early."

He's not looking at Yuichi, but he can feel the expression on his face. It's a feeling he's not unfamiliar with when it comes to stuff like this, but he's really hoping that for once someone takes the bait. 

His hopes are in vain. "I'm sorry, if I lead you on, okay? I… knew what you thought about me, and I used it against you… and that was wrong and cruel of me. And I'm sorry."

Leo doesn't think he could speak now even if he wanted to. His hands are clenched into fists and his jaw is set firm. The cuts on his arm hurt and Yuichi's hands are strong and steady and he is not ready - 

Yuichi tugs on his arm again, pulling the needle through skin and Leo hisses in pain. "I know your brother and sister know. Donatello and Venus? She uh, made it pretty clear how mad they both were, by the way."

Leo had seen the black eye Venus had served when Yuichi came in. Donnie had already told Venus about him and Yuichi when he'd walked in on them, so Leo had figured telling her what happened at the end of the night was fine, since he didn't want her to ask him why he was avoiding the rabbit. He hadn't really been accounting for her to take it into her own hands to serve Yuichi justice but it had been a kind of pleasant surprise to see that she cared… 

"Sorry about that," he flinches as the thread pulls against his tender skin. "I didn't think she was gonna punch you…"

Yuichi pulls the first gash closed, and starts on the next one. "Don't be. I kind of deserved it…"

Leo bites back a sound when the needle pierces his skin again. So much was just happening to him right now that he still wasn't really processing it. He'd been awake last night for sure, having fun and getting off of the thrill of whatever Yuichi wanted to do with him. The Samurai was very easy on the eyes, and definitely knew how to weaponize that. 

Leo hadn't even liked him that much to begin with… So why did he feel so used? 

"Maybe you did," he huffs. He's been holding the high road for too long, he decides. He deserves to be angry and petty. "You went too far…"

The needle falters, and Leo hisses as he realizes Yuichi missed his mark. He sees the rabbit's ears droop a little, but doesn't comment on it. 

"I did. I'm sorry."

Okay, maybe Leo wasn't totally done traveling the high road. He moves his arm a bit to help Yuichi better stitch the skin together, closing his eyes. 

"But… You could have gone farther," he says hesitantly. "And you didn't… Because I asked you to…"

"To deny you that would be dishonorable."

Leo gives him a look at that. The sewing falters. "And what you did wasn't?"

He watches Yuichi's eyes shift to look at him - the ruby red color landing somewhere on his neck, and Leo suddenly realizes his concealer washed off when he took his shower. Shoot. 

"... It was." Yuichi goes back to sewing the wound shut, and Leo can't remember when he's seen the guy in a mood that wasn't ranting about Yokai, being murderous, or straight up goofy. It's weird, and unsettling, and Leo wants nothing more than to hide in his shell and never come back out. 

"And I… Know I should make it up to you. Somehow."

The gash closes, and Yuichi knots it up carefully, before cutting the thread. Leo hesitates, before flexing his arm to test the stitches. Not perfect, he decides, but they'll do. 

"Okay," he says, meeting Yuichi's eyes for the first time since last night. Those same torturous red eyes that had him completely at their mercy the night before. Yuichi looks confused, but hopeful. 

"Okay?"

Leo nods, before shrugging. "I mean, apology not completely accepted right now. I'm still really upset but… if you want to try to make up for it, then I'll let you try."

Yuichi smiles at that, and Leo hates how there's butterflies in his chest when he does. Come on, stupid feelings, don't do this to him now… 

"Then I will do whatever it takes to be worthy of your forgiveness, Hamato."

Yuichi bows his head at that, and Leo bites back a snort. It's a silly gesture to him, but he knows to Yuichi that it's a very serious interaction, so he plays along. 

"Whatever you say. Just don't kiss me again when I tell you ninja are better than Samurai."

Those eyes turn angry again, and Leo relaxes as he sees Yuichi getting worked up. Familiar territory at last. 

"I wouldn't have to find a way to shut you up if you would just stop telling lies," Yuichi hisses, and Leo can't help the laugh he lets out. 

"Whatever you say, Bunny Butt."

"Oh you are so-"

"Yuichi, what are you doing?"

Miyamoto returns with the bandages, and Leo's smile becomes more genuine as he enters the room. There's a certain grace and gentleness to the way Miyamoto moves in a room, setting the bandages down and standing protectively near him. If Leo hadn't already been informed that the brothers were raised by a Lion, their stances alone would have given him the suspicion. 

Yuichi stutters and stumbles over his words, before pointing an accusatory finger at Leo. "He started it! He's - "

"Stitched up and ready for bandages? Good. Your work is incredible as always, little brother. Why don't you go practice your meditation? Karasu-Tengu would be disappointed in your lack of progress."

It's hard for Leo to describe the way Miyamoto talks, but it immediately puts him at ease as he shoots Yuichi a shit eating grin. The hand that Miyamoto rests on his shoulder has the same effect as he leans into the touch, sticking his tongue out. 

Yuichi looks pissed, and Leo briefly thinks back to a similar sight from the night before that gives him a slight shudder before the younger rabbit stomps out of the room, grumbling under his breath. Leo sees Miyamoto roll his eyes fondly, before giving his warm brown eyes and their attention back to Leo himself. 

"He didn't hassle you too much, did he? I know you two don't exactly get along."

Truth be told if Miyamoto hadn't stepped in when he had, Leo's pretty sure he and Yuichi would have started getting along just fine… 

"Nah, he's fine. I was just, uh, well kinda riling him up," Leo chuckles, scratching at the back of his neck. "Not a big deal, really. Thanks."

Miyamoto's smile is kind as he nods his head, before looking over the stitches on Leo's arm. Once he gives the approval, he begins to wrap them, gentle and unpracticed, and Leo has to remind him to tighten them just a bit. As it turns out, medicine is more of Gen's forte than anyone else, even if he tends to exaggerate it. 

"And these are from the fight as well?" Leo isn't sure what Miyamoto is talking about until he feels gently fuzzy fingers pressing lightly into a bruise on his neck, and his face starts to go a light shade of red. 

"Y-yeah, from the fight… got uh, pushed around real rough by a member of the Foot," Leo chuckles, nerves spiking as Miyamoto's hand lightly goes over his bruises. "They're fine, no big deal."

Miyamoto looks like he doesn't believe him, but nods his head, and steps back with perfect posture. "Well then it is my pleasure to announce that you're going to live, Leonardo," he hums. Plenty of hydration and medication, and I'm sure you'll be back in shape in no time."

"Why hydrate when I'm already a tall drink of water?" Leo clicks his tongue and shoots finger guns at Miyamoto, earning a raised brow in return. "But thanks man, I appreciate it."

They exchange a little more conversation before eventually Miyamoto gets the hint that Leo wants to be alone, and parts with him to search for Yuichi again. Leo watches him go with a smile, but the expression fades once he's left alone again, and he flops back against the cot. 

Silence isn't so bad when it's just him, but today it is. This time, it isn't just him… It's him, his thoughts of Yuichi, but more importantly, the look on Casey's face when the Kraang had tried to latch onto his arm… 

Had they really stopped the future? 

[devilish-mirage]

Anyone is free to share a thought and write their own version of this story, that's the reason why I put this post up. To let countless of beautiful minds to be creative, to make this AU their own; as long as you give credit of course! I would be delighted to read all of them. So unleash all of your thoughts, love!

I can't write for the life of me but imagine a fantasy world where the moon bois were the cursed!crown prince cause they didn't have the medical knowledge and maybe they're somehow a demon? Idk 😩

It would set in a medieval timeline and we (the reader) is an assassin who disguise ourself as his new maid.

We'd have all the qualities of a killing machine- cold and calculated, knows how to use our sex to advantages, manipulate, gatekeep and girlbossing our way to murder.

My god- just imagine us sneaking inside their bedroom, we'd get on top of him, sitting still on their stomach as we pull a dagger from our thigh strap as we aim for his neck.

Steven was the one who woke up and stare at us, eyes wide with admiration as the moonlight illuminates our face, highlighting our eyes and we'd stare deep into each other's eyes while the dagger touching his adam apple dangerously.

"Beautiful." He says out loud, we roll our eyes in amusement and tries to push the dagger only to be pinned down by Marc as he glare at us, face dangerously close that we can feel his breath on our face.

THE TROUPE WOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE:

Pretend engagement, forbidden love, the guy only kneels for his girl, destined to be together, I hate everyone but you, belated love epiphany.

Magic, magic, magic and more magic because I wanna be a magician/sorcerer. It's cool ok- 🏃🏃🏃

Steven: friends to lovers, he's warm, he's kind and he always tries to see the better in us, always forgiving us and give us many chances to make it up to him.

Marc: enemies to lovers, grumpy x sunshine. Marc being the grumpy, cold and rude to us, literally hate us because we tried to kill him while we're the sunshine and we'd be really flirty with him, always getting on his nerve and annoying him.

Now onto jake, I honestly feel like he's very unhinged and smooth because we've seen how he shamelessly seduced that nurse and dragged Harrow out. So maybe the dynamic that we have would probably be enemies to lovers like Marc but instead Jake being flirty with us and we'd also be like that, we'd amuse and entertain each other in ways that no one can.

But Jake is really dangerous and fucking feral, I want him to be the possessive n UNHINGED lover. The kind that wont hesitate to kill/hurt anyone that touches us. And we knows it so we sometimes be on high guard and switch to our assassin's persona, u know on how we'd be on edge because he makes us uneasy and stuff, unlike Marc and Steven we didn't know what's on Jake's mind and what does he think of us. But oh do we love to see him in all his maniacal glory, got us feelin' some type of way. 😏😏😏

She fell first but he fell harder for both Jake and Marc please bcs >>>>

The words that I would love to squeeze inside the fic:

1. "Kiss me- and this time don't fucking stop."

2. "Where is home?" "With me."

3. "I can't stop-" "Then don't."

4. "Touch them and you die."

5. "Are you mine?" "All yours."

6 "You look so pretty like this." "Only for you."

7. "The problem with me is you."

9. "If I kill them right before your eyes, will you still stay?" "Always, without a doubt."

10. "WHO DID THIS TO YOU?"

11. "I'm not a gentleman." "Lucky for you I'm not into them."

12. "You like what you see, Darlin'?"

13. "I'm supposed to hate you." "And yet- here we are."

14. "Do I make you nervous, Lockley/Spector/Grant?"

15. "You think you can intimidate me?"

16. "I hate myself for loving you, but I loathe the thought of not having you more."

17. "I love the way you make me feel." "Even when I'm trying to kill you?" "Especially that."

18. "I will burn the whole world down- just for you. You only need to say the word."

19. "What have I told you about you and your orders?"

20. "I hate you." "That's not what you said last night, sweetheart."

21. "Say it again, I love the way you say my name."

22. "You really has no fear." "Thanks for the compliment."

23. "I want to hurt you so bad." "I want to see you try."

24. "I like when you get mad."

25. "Don't look at me like that."

26. "The things I would do to you."

SOMEONE OR MAYBE MULTIPLE AUTHORS COULD WRITE THIS SERIES AND MAKE THEIR OWN VERSIONS??? I WOULD LOVE IT SO MUCH IF THAT HAPPENS OMG!!! ANYWAY- PLEASE WRITE OR TAG SOMEONE WHO WOULD BECAUSE I CAN'T WRITE GAAHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭

[milfnearyou]

                 𝐤𝐢𝐦 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧: 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞.

      “𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐦.”

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟑.𝟐𝐊 | 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑 | 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍 𝐗 𝐅𝐄𝐌!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐗 (𝐗-𝐄𝐗𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐈)

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: KIDNAPPING. TORTURE. PTSD. TRAUMA. WHIPPING. HARASSMENT. NO SMUT IN THIS CHAPTER. MENTIONS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL ELEMENTS. LIGHT TALK OF PERSONALITY DISORDERS AND SCHIZOPHRENIA WILL BE DELVING INTO MORE DETAILS ON THE NEXT CHAPTER.

I ALSO DECIDED TO MAKE THIS A SERIES TO PREVENT MAKING THE WHOLE THING REALLY LONG ON ONE POST SINCE TUMBLR GLITCHES A LOT BUT ALSO FOR PEOPLE WHO CAN’T FOCUS ON VERY LONG FICS :)

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

To say that you were hurting would be an understatement.

Everything and anything served as an infernal memory. Whether it be an object or something as simple as the weather, the effect it had could potentially be triggering for you. This new way of life felt more like a slow, painful process in which you were dying.

Overwhelming, things were now always overwhelming. Your anxiety shooting through the roof, the small person inside of you crumbling away into nothing as you screamed at the top of your lungs only to never be heard.

Your life felt orchestrated, the strings and rhythms conducted by no one else but Lucifer himself. With your pain, he created a symphony for a play, one that was to be forever engrained within your mind, body and soul.

It felt surreal, a simulation with you as its subject and yet, it was in every way authentic. None of it was a figment of your imagination, it wasn't just a bad dream but it was your reality. The scars that littered your body like a tormented and abused piece of canvas served as proof that it had all happened.

Your body ached, countless spikes of excruciating pains rushing through your many vessels and arteries, the nerves on your body were almost always on edge. It was difficult to hold onto reality, the point of returning being so far away that the thought of just letting go, would be a much quicker and simple solution. After all, you were halfway to insanity and the thought of being sane no longer remained a possibility.

It didn’t stop there. Your biggest enemy was your mind. The cursed piece of soft tissue that sat right in the middle of your enclosed skull was the one thing quickest to abandon you, betraying you within a blink of an eye and letting your body act on its own. It was impossible to control your thoughts when you almost always gravitating towards self-destruction.

Day and night, your mind screamed at you, unleashing a cacophony of howling, piercing screams that made your head ring. Blaring on and on, it had no limit. Going as far as venturing into your dreams late at night, filling your only moment of peace with countless nightmares. It was driving you mad. Always pushing you to constantly fight with yourself. You tried your best to ignore the urges but it seemed impossible.

Loudly, you'd scream into the emptiness of your surroundings telling yourself to shut up, to make it stop. Occasionally going as far as becoming physical, slapping the palms of your hands against your temple in attempts to strike yourself awake or hitting your head against a flat surface in attempts to knock the thoughts out. 

But there was no chance to wake up. You were long gone. Stuck in a deep slumber that caused your physical state to act like a zombie. Almost as if your frontal lobe had shut down. Everything occurring in a rather monotone way. Laced with a sudden breakdown that hit you every other day, exploding with fear and anger. The effects of your past trauma reminding you that you still had feelings within, that you had emotions but that they were no longer positive. The negativity overflowed within you and was always ready to burst.

You saw people, individuals who claimed they could help. Medically known as psychiatrists but in your opinion, middle-aged women who seemed lonelier than you were. Portraits of Persian cats hung all over their workrooms, the scowls plastered on the faces of the felines were ones also visible on the psychiatrists themselves.

They always said it was the voices, emerging from your previously traumatic experience. Well no shit, of course, you knew that. It was a no brainer that there were voices in your head, you had diagnosed yourself of having un-welcomed people inside your mind a long time ago. 

However, unbeknownst to the therapists themselves you also knew that they'd been planted into your mind from god knows how long ago. They simply waited for something to set them free, triggering the alarm and giving them proper cause to make you lose your mind.

All they needed was freedom and they were granted access to that with the help of a certain someone. A man who shared the same looks, name and identity as someone you grew close with, someone you developed feelings for. A man you fell in love with that had a terrible secret. It was hard to determine what exactly his secret was until you came face to face with it yourself. And when you did, you wanted out. Pandora's box had been opened and yet, it wasn't even your fault that it had.

You simply had to face the consequences of falling in love with someone who had a duplicate. Was it a clone? Or was it a twin? It was hard to say because he seemed to be from another world, a different planet even but in reality, he was conceived by the hands of a twisted mind. Fabricated inside a laboratory, only to be sent out many years later to wreak havoc upon your life.

And one dreaded night, he arrived. Snatching you away and hiding you for what added up to be weeks of torture. A show in which you were the leading role, the subject to many horrendous acts that one could never imagine. Acts that he always said were done because he “loved” you.

“You know I love you?” He’d say, all while his nimble fingers danced along the grains of your skin. Brushing up and down your arm as the fear raced through your veins. Your blood running cold, the hairs on your neck standing upwards. Your body was all too familiar with reacting with terror.

A few painfully quiet moments would pass, the sound of water dripping from the faucet, filtering into your conversation until he’d clear his throat. Leaning in forwards and resting his lips just above your left ear, his hot breath burning against your skin as you feel yourself holding in your breath.

“Silence isn’t an option, you either speak or be spoken for,” He warns and you nod rapidly in response. You knew the protocol and you knew exactly what it meant when he said that.

“Do you love me like I love you?” He asks. Circling from your back as he stands in front of you, using his calloused hand to hold your face upwards. Cupping your chin, his touch is moderately tender but you know that with one wrong move, everything could change.

“Define love,” You respond, not wanting to give him the direct answer he wanted. It would feed his ego all too much if you were to be so direct and yet, secretly he enjoyed you defying him. He loved how you didn't give in so quickly, it allowed him the chance to get physical and boy, did he love to get physical.

“Define love? I— obviously, don’t understand the concept of love as much as I'd like to admit. But when I look at you, the sickening feeling that emerges within me makes me think that yes, this is love. It’s everything that suppresses inside my chest, threatening to explode at any given moment. The oxygen that carries through my blood, that fuels the life inside me is filled with the thought of you. Love is, being alive and there’s nothing else except for you that makes me feel more alive.”

You fall silent at his response. Simply because none of it made sense, a cluster of babbled words falling out of his mouth as you stare at him watching as his expression slowly falls apart. The look of love is no longer there, replaced with infatuation, obsession and anger. He acted as if he’d known you for an eternity, professing his delusional love as if it mattered. As if you’d have a change of heart and drop everything within a blink of an eye just for him.

“...You must also understand that I love you because I can’t let him be the only person who loves you too,” He adds, “So do you love me like I love you? It’s only fair you do.”

“Love is a blessing in life. Something that isn’t forced upon, a concept in which— it may hold the key to your life in its hands but cannot be obtained without the honest feelings of another. It takes two to tango, not one, but two." 

Momentarily pausing, you swallow the lump inside your throat, pushing it downwards. Allowing the newly found courage inside your body to come forward, "...And I'm afraid I can’t dance with you.” 

Your rejection is something that hits him hard. Time seems to stop as the fleshy look on his face drops, the expression in his eyes have been replaced with a newfound fury. But it quickly wipes away as you watch him throw his head back letting out a cackle, his voice echoing inside the dingy, dark basement. 

Like a slideshow, his emotions were quick to change moving from pure anger to joy as he laughs at your response. You can't help but sit there and think that he's absolutely mad. A man who shares the same body, face and voice as your lover but seems to be much more cunning and sinister. He's evil and he proves himself to be just that with his following actions and honestly, you aren't even surprised at this point. 

His large hand that once caressed your face had now found its way to the knotted locks of hair, gripping it tightly as he shoves you to the ground. Pushing you down from the chair you once sat on and glueing you to the floor. The coldness of the surface is somewhat, soothing against your painfully hot skin as he presses your face against the ground. The weight of his body adding more pressure as he straddles you from behind, moving strings of your hair aside just so he can see your face. Amused, he smirks to himself when he sees you withering in pain, strings of saliva dripping past your chapped lips and leaking onto the floor.

"Oh dear, what a waste," He pouts, bringing forward a free hand to wipe your drool away. The tip of his finger now covered in your bodily fluids as he brings it to his lips, licking his finger in excitement. His eyes practically rolling to the back of his head as he moans in delight, "Deliciously, sweet." 

Disgusted by his actions you can't help but shut your eyes. Shielding yourself one way or another from looking at his grotesquely beautiful visage. Naturally, the tears also begin to seep past your eyes, drifting down your cheeks. You can feel him lean in, hovering over you. A whimper squeaks past your lips when you feel his tongue dragging itself across your cheek, it feels like he's about to eat you alive. Like a lion licking its prey.  

Removing his tongue from your cheek, he brings it towards your ear. Licking your helix before sucking gently on your earlobe, “I hope, you consider this next special thing. Perhaps, as a warning of some sort?” 

Pushing himself off of you, you can hear him rummage around in the drawer he’s got next to the chair you once sat on. The sound of metallic objects rattling around and clinking against each other until it comes to a halt. The silence isn't soothing, it's terrifying. 

Your heart begins to thump profusely, rapidly beating. You find it hard to breathe, to possibly calm down as your mind races with all the possible objects he could’ve chosen to use on you. A knife? Perhaps a nail gun.

The possibilities were essentially endless due to his massive collection of murderous weapons. But you receive your answer when you feel the long, multiple strips of leather entwined in cotton and tiny pieces of cattle bone brushing against your skin.

“Cat o’ nine tails,” He answers, introducing the weapon to you. Teasingly he brings the weapon up and down your bareback. Shuddering in fear as you feel the item grind against your back, the softness you feel now will be nothing in comparison to what you'll actually feel. 

"Baby, remember that I have to do this because I love you."

Thwack!

The first blow that hits you makes your ears ring. The sensation feels hot, tingling at your skin. It's a mixture of pain along with pins and needles, only getting worse with each blow that he gives you. The stinging had a pain so strong and immense that it was hard for you to even lay there still, writhing around on the ground like a worm on hot pavement. You began to feel overwhelmed with pain, your nerves essentially on fire as you struggled to keep yourself awake. 

Thwack, thwack, thwack!

You could feel the skin on your back begin to rip open, the crimson blood seeping from your wounds as he kept going. There was no mercy as you screamed, your vocal cords straining so hard your voice went hoarse. Slowly, you began to shut down. First, your hands falling limp at your sides, your body cased in sweat as you felt drained to a pulp. Then your screams came to a halt, the breathing in your voice drastically slowing down. Finally, your eyes began to droop, fluttering shut as you saw nothing but black. 

Was this the end for you? 

Jolting upwards, you topple off your bed and collide with the ground. Gritting your teeth in pain when you feel your back begin to burn, your semi-healed scars becoming agitated from the impact. Slowly rising upwards you panic at your dark surroundings but calm down once you realize that you're at home. Your sweet Maison, inside your calming bedroom with your lover sound asleep on his half of the mattress.

He's at peace with his soft and supple cheek squished against the fluffy pillow. Strands of his brown hair sticking about, his eyes shut tightly. You can't help but mumble to yourself about how adorable he is before leaving your room. Quietly heading towards the kitchen and flickering on the lights, flinching when everything seemed to be much too bright.

Your eyes gravitate towards the clock on the wall, it was four in the morning. You decided that there was no way you were going back to sleep at this hour. Shuffling towards your coffee machine, you brew yourself an iced coffee mixing in a shot of almond milk with your drink. Adding in a few ice cubes, you stir your drink slowly trying your best to ignore the pain in your back.

"You alright?"

Turning around you see Jongin, standing there shirtless in his teddy bear PJ pants. He rubs his eyes a few times before putting on his circular framed glasses, giving you a sleepy smile when he finally sees you properly through the lens. He looked beautiful in his groggy state and so did you to him with your hair flowing freely. Dressed cosily in his white tee with your supreme briefs underneath it.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Did I wake you up?" You ask, taking a sip from your drink.

"No, you're good. Can you make me one too baby?"

Nodding in response you turn towards your coffee machine, your back facing towards him to brew him a drink. "Latte?" You ask.

"Mhm, you know me so well," Slowly he wraps his arms around you, failing to notice how you slightly flinch at his touch. His hands travel towards your stomach as he hugs you tightly, placing his nose in the crook of your neck as he inhales your scent, "I love you so much."

The scene feels all too familiar and it makes you nervous. Gently you push him off of you, unaware that your gesture has hurt his feelings. Departing from your back he comes to your side, leaning against the marble counter.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He questions.

"I'm fine, just...don't, do that," You reply, the tone of your voice is soft, almost delicate as if you spoke any louder something would break.

"Do what?" He asks while bringing his hand towards your shoulder, frowning when he sees you dip your shoulder away from his touch, "You don't want me to touch you?"

Sighing you turn to face him, observing his hurt expression. His eyes are slightly glassy as he looks at you for an answer.

"Nini, it's not that I don't want you to touch me. It's because I'm still injured from the incident, so everything's just a bit fragile," You explain, partially lying through your teeth. It was true you were very hurt but you also didn't want him touching you because everything he did reminded you of the other him.

He nods quietly, smiling softly at you as he slowly gestures you to have a seat at the coffee table, "I'll cover the drink, you go rest."

Sitting down at the coffee table you quietly enjoy your beverage. Jongin soon joining you, seated at the front. The kitchen is quiet, dimly lit by the singular overhanging light you've got on. Jongin's caramel complexion shining underneath the lightbulbs rays. His eyes are affectionate, his gaze never leaving you as he chews on his bottom lip.

"I'm sorry," He starts, "I know it's been hard and I'm really sorry that you have to be hurting. I just wish that the incident could've brought us closer somehow but it's just, pushing us apart."

Drumming your fingers against the table you avoid his gaze. You don't know what to say, you can't blame him for what happened. But you also can't help but think that had you not known Jongin then you would've never met the other him. His twin or, whatever he was.

"I should've told you about him. Then maybe I could've prevented this somehow," His voice falters as you look up to see him. He's wiping his tears away, the whites of his eyes are slightly red.

"Jongin—”

"Tell me," He interrupts, "Do you see him when you look at me?"

Looking at Jongin, you can definitely see the other him. Except for the fact that the other him or Kai as he liked to call himself had dark green hair. Besides the difference in hair colours, they were pretty much identical. Opting to remain silent, he receives his answer.

"I wish it had never happened but, now that everything's passed I want to be by your side to help you heal. I want to help you through this," He explains. Nonchalantly sliding his hand forwards, he offers you to take his hand and you do, though not right away. Intertwining your fingers with his, you feel his thumb rub the skin of your palm gently.

"You know I love you?" He says and you can't help but shudder when those words come fluttering out of his mouth. Looking up at him you momentarily see Kai rather than Jongin and your heart stops. Afraid that you'll be punished for not speaking back. You say it back, in an almost trained responsive way. Even if the man that's in front of you isn't Kai but Jongin. You say it back because you're still afraid, you're still scared and those affectionate words do nothing but terrify you.

"I love you too."

   𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃: 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐅𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐔©︎

[getitinbusan]

Naughty & Nice : Yoongi

A Soft Smutty Christmas Drabble for everyone missing Yoongi. 18+

Curmudgeon, that's what he was being. Yoongi was occupying himself by making fun of his bandmates on the TV while you sat on the floor surrounded by boxes, draped in ribbon while wrapping presents.

"I'm glad I'm sitting this one out, look at the stupid little tie they made Jin wear." 

You turned to look, "I don't know, I think he looks handsome no matter what he wears." 

He huffed, "The stylists didn't even brush Jungkook's hair. He looks like he just rolled out of bed" 

You sang along to the carol a little louder. He was feeling sorry for himself and you weren't going to indulge him. 

"This is so childish." He laughed from his permanent residence on the couch and began imitating their moves on the screen.

"Shit," he winced after getting a little too carried away with his actions. 

"Serves you right." 

"Wow, that's rude." 

"I'm rude? Min Yoongi are you kidding me?"

His tongue stretched the inside of his cheek, a move he did when he was trying to think his way out of something. 

"You want to know what's rude? Rude is the fact that you know Christmas is my favorite holiday and you're doing everything in your power to suck the Merry and Bright right out of it." 

"I think as my girlfriend you're supposed to be a little more sympathetic towards my needs."

Aggressively pulling the tape tightly over the gift, the paper tore exposing the contents. 

"I feel about as sorry for you as you do for me having to wrap all of these." 

You lifted the gift up to examine it. "Who the hell buys Ping Pong Paddles as a present anyway." 

"Jin loves Ping Pong, It's a great gift. You're just mad that I'm a better gift giver than you." 

"You're also a bigger pain in the ass if we're keeping score." 

Crumpling up the ruined wrap you threw it in his direction.

Instinctively trying to catch it he moaned in pain at the sudden shoulder movement. 

"Shit baby, I'm sorry are you okay?" 

Feeling terrible you quickly got up to check his shoulder. 

Sat beside him on the edge of the couch you helped him lay back as he winced. 

"Sure, now you feel sorry for me after making me hurt myself." 

He gave a little pout and turned to focus his gaze on you while you adjusted his pillow. 

"I'm sorry, I know I've been a downer. I just…" his voice trailed off a little embarrassed.

"I feel bad for missing work and for everyone having to cover for me. And you, you really are an angel taking care of me and making sure all this stuff," he motioned around the apartment, "is done so that we still get a good Christmas."

You kissed his forehead and smiled. "I think your pain medication is making you soft."

"Yeah? that's not what you were saying 5 minutes ago."��

His hand moved over yours where it was resting on his chest. "I don't like feeling useless." 

"There's a big difference between vulnerable and useless Yoongi."

"I can't help you with any of this, and I'm sucking the fun out of your favorite holiday."

"Well I've been thinking, If you're up for it there is one thing you could help me out with…" 

"What's that?"

You gave a coy smile, "It's about a real special gift." 

"No way, you always talk me into giving you your gifts early, not this year. Besides, they're all at Namjoon's so I couldn't if I wanted to."

Pulling a piece of ribbon from around your neck you ran your fingers slowly down it's length. "I'm not talking about that kind of present."

His face pulled into a confused scrunch so you straddled his lap to give him a better clue. Threading the ribbon through the zipper pull of his jeans you tied it into a loopy bow. 

"You know we've both been really good this year, maybe we could just open one early?" 

Placing kisses down his neck you pled your case. Since the surgery a few weeks ago it had been completely hands off, either too much pain or too much medication to even try. Today though, he seemed feisty and playful so it was worth a shot. 

He pulled you down closer with his good arm, "Only if you promise not to go easy on me."

"I'll do my best." 

Pulling his t-shirt up you quickly realized it would be a whole process to get it off around the sling. "We'll have to make due I guess." 

"Take yours off for me, I just want to feel your skin on mine." He was already out of breath just with the anticipation. 

Standing, you lifted your shirt off and stepped out of your pajama pants. 

A long slow groan left your boyfriend. "You're so beautiful." He reached out with his good hand to grab for you. 

"uh-uh," you reprimanded him, swatting it away, "You're not allowed to over exert yourself."

Tugging the bow, his zipper slid down allowing your hands to grip the waistband and shimmy his pants over his hips. The hard bulge in his underwear showed he was just as excited as you were. 

"It feels like it's been forever," you whispered, your lips brushing over his fabric covered cock. 

"Even a day without you feels like an eternity, this has been torture." 

It felt so good to feel desired after the weeks of the most intimately unintimate moments you'd shared together. Cleaning stitches and administering medication wasn't exactly sexy.

Reaching into his underwear  you pulled out his full and heavy cock. His eyes fluttered delicately as he anticipated the sensation of your lips sliding around him.

Shallow breaths escaped his lips as you worked his length. Worried he'd drifted off, you slowed until his hand raked through your hair encouraging you to keep going.

"That feels so good but," you sucked hard and deep giving a squeeze around the base." 

"I'm not going to last, it's been too long and it feels so good. I want to make sure you to cum too" 

Working your way back up his chest to his neck to his waiting mouth, you kissed him. 

"You're okay?"

"I'll be better when I'm inside you."

As he lay waiting you sank yourself onto him. The stretch of not having him for weeks sent shivers of pleasure over your skin. 

Slowly rolling your hips you ground yourself against him. 

"God, I missed you." his working hand rubbed your nipple between his fingers. "Ride me harder, it's okay...It feels so good." 

Picking up speed, the couch squeaked under you as your bodies slapped together. 

"I'm gonna cum baby, tell me your close." He pleaded under you while you chased you orgasam. 

"Keep talking, I'm almost there…" 

"I missed your wet pussy around my cock so much, your tits bouncing while you ride me. I'm gonna fill you with such a big load."

You could already feel his cum leaking out of you as he moved his hand to thumb your clit furiously. Knowing he was pleased you let your orgasm wash over you until you collapsed on top of him. 

"That was amazing."

He winced a little, "You're kind of on my shoulder." 

"Oh my god Yoongi I'm so sorry!"

He laughed, "don't be it was worth it. I do think I'm going to need a pain killer though." 

His facetime rang and all the boys were on the line, "Did you watch the show? How'd we do?"

"It was good, you all did really well." 

"You seem to be in really good spirits," Taehyung cheered. Were we that inspiring?"

"No," Yoongi smirked," I got an early Christmas present."

It was quiet for a second until it registered with them. "Gross, You're both going on the naughty list," Jungkook decreed.

"I disagree," Yoongi looked at you across the room winking. "It was actually quite nice."

[kaysayshey]

off paper || e. kirishima

This is a work inspired by a struggle that a lot of those suffering with mental illness experience, particularly those with depression and bipolar disorder; however, it can be applied to a lot of mood-altering medications that cause sexual dysfunction. While medication is a life changing and stabilizing aspect of many lives, it doesn't come without its cons. I think Kirishima would be incredibly understanding in this situation. Please keep in mind that bipolar disorder presents in many ways. There is no one-size-fits-all in mental health treatment or in its subsequent treatment. I wanted to write a bit about the side effects of SSRI medications.

Songs that I listened to while writing include:

Serendipity by BTS' Jimin

Bumper Cars by Alex and Sierra

That Kind of Love by MAX

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, NSFW (no smut, however this work contains sexual topics), mention of prescription drugs, bipolar disorder, minors DNI.

On paper, Kirishima Eijirou was perfect. An impressive sidekick working underneath Fatgum, his cheery disposition more than capable of reassuring even the most terrified of civilians. A hard-hitting, defensive quirk paired with determination unlike anything you'd ever seen. Easy-going enough to work with the difficult heroes - and by difficult, everyone meant Dynamight. Intelligent, reliable, and just the right amount of competitive.

Off paper, he was even better. Hell, the moment he'd asked you out, you'd almost done a double-take. Was he sure? Kirishima could date, well, anyone. However, you'd blurted out 'yes' before your brain had time to catch up, even more surprised at the gorgeous pink that graced the tips of his ears.

And the date went wonderfully. Were you expecting anything different? He was a magnet, and you were willing to be the refrigerator he stuck to - at least, for as long as he wanted. How he managed to remember what flavor of milk tea and boba you preferred, following it up with a quick delivery while working twelves at the agency, was beyond you. Good morning texts wishing you an easy day of your own hero work, good night texts hoping that your dreams were "sweeter than you." The moment a bouquet of roses was sent to your office, you had to admit it.

You were embarrassingly attracted to Kirishima Eijirou.

Not that he minded, no. If anything, he returned the feeling tenfold. After the first date came a string of others before finally labeling it as a relationship. Movie nights, walks through the park, chaste kisses interspersed by giggles as you both laughed at whatever came to mind. The quick meetings between your lips turned into full-on sessions that left your knees weak. Being with Kirishima was easy in a way that nothing else had been.

But let's face it. Working as a full-time hero with bipolar disorder made life, well, tough. A pharmaceutical cocktail and therapy helped, turning what was the disaster of your life into a manageable mess. Episodes were few and far between, the prickling anxiety was quelled by coping techniques and medication when necessary. The days spent in a daze of your own "self-medicating" were long gone, thank whatever higher power was out there. No, life was on the upswing for you in pretty much every aspect of the phrase.

Except for your sex life.

And no, that wasn't to say that Kirishima was doing anything wrong. To be quite honest, he was doing every just right. Kissing the places you loved most, calloused hands lingering deliciously over your skin. A voice like honey whispering in your ear, beautiful moans of how gorgeous you were, how he absolutely adored you. Saying that it left you with weak, knocking knees was an understatement. He was an emotional hurricane, sending butterflies through your stomach as he showered you with praise and carefully placed lips.

Other than a complete lack of climaxing, it was amazing.

You knew this was a possibility once you had started taking medications. A loss of libido was one thing, but being unable to finish was starting to wear on you. Before you could stop yourself, you were doing the unthinkable: faking orgasms.

After all, who wants to spend close to an hour between someone's thighs just to be met with frustrated sighs and potentially awkward conversations? No, Kirishima didn't need to spend so much time on your pleasure, not when there was a high probability that you wouldn't finish at all. As long as the moans weren't straight out of a low-budget porno overly exaggerated, you figured you'd get away with it.

Getting away with it turned out to be the least of your issues. The struggle was real. Outside of the sweetest lovemaking with Kirishima, you desperately tried every trick in the book to reach an orgasm on your own. Something. Anything. You were beginning to feel pent-up, needy. The money spent on toys was starting to reach an uncomfortably high number. Time was wasted and followed up by flopping onto the bed in frustration. No amount of lube, porn, or fantasy was helping. Once you hit the hour mark, you basically gave up.

And you were now pacing the hallways of your apartment, irrational tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. Why did it matter? Orgasming was not the end all, be all of life. But the memory of before the medications, the euphoric bliss that would force your back from the mattress, that memory reared its head more often than you cared to admit. God damn it, you just wanted to feel the shudders, the rush of pleasure surging through your body, insatiable heat quenched. And you wanted to stop lying to him. The tears rimming your lash line made their arrival known, long tracks staining your cheeks.

This is, of course, when Kirishima decides to knock on your door. After all, you had planned to have a comfortable night in, a delightful line up of rom-coms at your disposal. Movies that you now wanted to throw out the nearest window. Why, why did you have to try again? He deserved so much more than a broken partner, a partner who would never be able to match him. Someone who could crash at the slightest struggle, who broke when their insecurities were brought to life.

Another set of knocks. Time to face the music.

As you gently opened the door, the drop in Kirishima's face was visible as he took in your state. Where a bright grin had been settled now featured lips drawn into a tight, worried line. After all, you did everything in your power to keep him in the dark in regards to your mental illness. Not necessarily your smartest move, in retrospect. Hindsight, you know?

The moment the door clicked behind him, Kirishima was gathering you in his arms, a large hand gently stroking the back of your head. A kiss to your temple, his forehead pressing against your hairline. Deep breaths weren't helping you at this point. Because regardless of how frustrated you were, Kirishima was safety, the warmth of his embrace a haven for you to let out the sobs that were wracking through your body.

And as the tears fell, darkening his gray tee shirt, Kirishima ran his hands up and down your back, the comforting heat of his body providing temporary relief. After moments of crying, you pressed your head against his chest, eyes glued to the linoleum floor beneath you.

A thick finger and thumb tenderly met your chin, slowly lifting your face to meet his eyes. Those usually warm red irises were dark with worry, the pad of his thumb running circles over and over against your skin. Another reminder of just how good he was. No man had ever made you feel as desired or important as Kirishima.

"Baby, what happened?" he murmured, still caressing your face so gingerly that it brought the threat of more tears.

"It's nothing, nothing important," came your quick response, avoiding any lingering eye contact. It wasn't that important. Sexual gratification came second to emotional connection, and you had that firmly in your grasp with Eijirou. Why would you risk losing someone like that?

His eyebrow narrowed at your words, and he kept your face cradled in his hands. "Please tell me, baby. I want to help."

God, that expression of pure concern. Like you were everything to him, like your hurt was his hurt. It was in that moment you knew: you couldn't keep lying to him. Whether it meant he'd leave for someone else, someone perfectly, indescribably normal; that didn't matter. If anyone deserved a picture-perfect romance, it was Kirishima.

Eijirou, I-" Your voice broke from the nerves, unable to hold his unflinching gaze. How could someone be so earnest? He nodded, those same reassuring circles urging you to speak.

"I think you deserve someone better."

He looked like you'd honest to goodness slapped him. So many emotions flashed over his usually cheerful face that it scared you. Oh, god, this wasn't what you wanted to do, but how could you not? No one wanted someone like you. Once he knew, he'd leave. Better to push him away first and just let it end now before-

"What are you talking about? Baby. I don't want anyone else. I want you." His words came out stammered, tripping over his tongue and falling into the otherwise quiet apartment. Kirishima shook his head slowly, searching your face for some form of reassurance that this wasn't what you wanted. That you didn't want him.

"I don't know why. I just, I'm too much. You'll end up getting frustrated with me and I just, I just can't take that kind of heartbreak."

"Too much? You're never too much, what are you talking about?"

The words fell before you could stop them, faster than should be discernible to the human ear. But if there was anything Eijirou was, it was attentive.

"My medicine is driving me crazy, and I know without it I'll go over the edge again. But I want to feel normal, Eiji. I can't handle feeling like I'm not normal." And it was true. Sex was so innately human, and knowing that there was a chance that you'd never be able to gain that ultimate satisfaction was driving you mad. Was this just an overreaction from a brain exhausted from constantly fighting itself, or was this a logical, albeit emotionally charged, reaction?

"Your medicine?"

There it was. What you wanted to avoid mentioning. Sure, it wasn't fair to keep it from him. But let's be honest, you'd been expecting this to end after the first few months. And now? Now you were shaking in his arms, knowing this confession would be the end of the dreamy love you'd been experiencing.

"My medicine for uh... for my, um. I have bipolar disorder. It's why I can't work on Thursdays, too. I have to go to therapy. I know I should've told you from the beginning but I just, you know, I really, really like you, and I don't-"

One finger met your lips followed by soothing shushes from his own. As if the world's weight had been lifted from his capable shoulders, Kirishima let out a heaving sigh of relief. The arm around your waist pulled you closer, his large hand splaying comfortably against your back.

"I'm not going anywhere. I just want you to be okay. What can I do for you?"

And that left you tearfully admitting it all. Longing for the physicality that would bring you closer together, the bliss of coming undone at your partner's hands. Disgust when you listened to your friends' bragging of delicious, gratifying one-night stands. Aching heat desperate to be relieved by your man only to be left at the edge, the warmth still tingling through your body. How you felt caught halfway between "normal" and "crazy" even with the drugs. And Kirishima nodded, hanging on every word.

"I'm glad you told me," he began, slowly trailing his fingertips up and down your back. "If I had known, I would've worked ten times harder. Will you let me make you feel good, honey? Please?"

How did those few sentences send you into another fit of tears? Clutching the lightweight fabric of his shirt and apologizing for the damp stains, you nuzzled against his chest in embarrassment. But he continued his motions, adept fingers working at your tense muscles.

That night, he gave you everything you wanted and more, eager to please you in a way he never had. Eyes focused, sweet nothings spilling from his lips, tender hands and featherlight kisses. Teasing and romance and dedication over hours, something you'd never experienced before.

On paper, Kirishima was perfect. Off paper, he was even more. And he fulfilled his promise to you, "I love you" slipping from his lips when you finally reached your euphoria.

"I love you too, Eijirou."

"I'll always love you more."

[itspdameronthings]

Going Home chapter 3

Summary: Apple meets the brothers for the first time. The brothers would learn something new about Santi,and so will Apple.

Note: this is has been a labor of love. thanks again to @autumnleaves1991-blog,and @aellynera for helping me spitball ideas for this series,and the courage to write. There are some Oscar Isaac easter eggs in this. See if yall noticed them.

Warning: fluff. having fun on Karaoke night. Major smut(18+) happening towards the end. under 18 readers should not be reading that part

Apple was kind of nervous. She is gonna meet his friends.As much he talks about them.feels like she already knows them. Both of them got home at the same time. Which was a good thing. Both of them change into something comfortable. Jeans and tees. Santi kisses her cheek," relax mi armour. There is nothing to get nervous about. Benny and Will are fun to be around.you will fit right in." She picks up her bag as they get ready to go to have a fun filled evening.

The rest of the boys arrived at St. JAMES INFIRMARY. A local hangout. Where three of them used to come to have fun. Even though they could not drink back then, they would do the annual open Mike night,and play pool. Frankie brought them their drink,and sits down. Will is the first one to speak,"so what is Santiago's like? You said you grew up with her?" Fish giggles," she is something. Tomboy. Fun to be around with. Always there to help. She went into the Army as well.She was a medic. It tore Santiago apart when we all went our separate ways. He always depended on her. For advice." Benny looks up from his glass to see Santi and Apple walking in. He sees his friends. Smiling as they went to the table. He introduces Benny and will to Apple. First thing out of his mouth," so how did you come up with the nickname,Applejacks?" Apple leans against the other booth," that is simple really. Santi gave it to me since I always ate Apple jacks for breakfast. It was fitting. I'm the one who gave him the nickname, Sharpshooter." the look on the brothers was priceless. Seems like they never heard that nickname. Santi sips his drink," she gave me that nickname for never missing my target when we used to go shooting as kids." Benny chuckles," nice to know you had another nickname. I like it. Explain your shooting skills,but I'll still call you Pope though."

Santiago knew the day would come to tell her how he got his nickname. Knowing it was not his proudest moment. Heck! He was young and did stupid shit. Not to mention he was exploring his sexuality,and could not help it if he was handsome! Time for him to confess to his friend. Before he goes back to the others. Ordered himself a couple of shots of Tequila to take the edge off. So good to have his friends to back him up. Santi is afraid of what his Apple would do. Will she understand or would she blow her stack? No time like the present to tell her. He sits next to Apple and takes a deep breath, “ I wanna tell you sweetheart. I was young and didn't know what I was doing. Heck bet you did some stuff when you were young that you regretted. This is how I got the nickname Pope. First of all . you want to hear the clean version, the raunchy one or both?” Apple sighed,and took his hands into her soft ones,” Just tell me. Hold nothing back. I’m ready for you to spill your guts.” Santi takes a deep breath,” Reason i got the name Pope is because when I was making out with a lady. She would scream “pope” which the others in the barracks heard. Another reason is when I did something wrong I would go to church every Sunday to repent my sins. Lastly, if my mom were to find out I did not attend church? I would get the worst beating from her when I went home on leave.” After he mentioned his mom. Santi takes another shot,and a weird face when he mentions his mom. How he missed her. Tried so hard to be the son she wanted him to be. Knowing she is proud of him when he went to Columbia to make a difference over there. He got up from the table and went outside so he could get some air. Poor Santi. Her passing is taking a toll on his heart. There were times he would be walking around his old home soaking up all the memories of her. Apple went out to look for him,and saw him sitting on a bench. Head in his hands,and felt Apple’s hand touching his shoulder which caused him to flinch. Looks to his right,and sees his angel.one person he needs right now. Pulls her close to him. Runs his hand on her arm while he tries to calm down. All she could do is comfort him,” it's alright honey, let it all out. I’m here for you. Not going anywhere. For the reason you got your nickname? Well.. you were young. Exploring the other side of yourself. Don't worry about me getting mad about it. Like the old saying,” what is in the past stays in the past.”. Santi wipes his eyes. Thinking how lucky he can be to have Apple by his side? They sat outside for a few moments so he could calm down enough so they could go back inside to enjoy his friends. No! His family.

Both of them went back inside to see what was going on. Oh right! Karaoke night At St. James. This is gonna be fun. As both of them go back to their booth, they see Will sipping on his beer. Watching the acts and Frankie and Benny arguing on what song to do. Apple asked Will,” Are you gonna go up there? “ Will takes another sip of his beer,” Not my thing. Benny is the talented one of the family. Are you gonna go and make an ass out of yourself with them?” Apple took a sip of her drink,” Yep, I’m pretty good,but not as good as Santi though.He is so amazing. That voice would make anyone feel better. Wait! Ya’ll never heard him sing or play a guitar?” Will shakes his head. Wonder why Shooter never told his friends about his beautiful talent. Only her and Frankie knew about it. No time like the present for Sharp shooter “Pope'' Garcia to go up on that stage to show his friends what he can do. Apple went over to the bartender she knew to see if he still had an old guitar so Santi could play. Score! He did,and went to get it. Santi sees what is going on, so he leans on the counter whispering to Apple,” What are you up to? Wait! No no! Not gonna happen. Nope sorry! Not happening!” Apple kisses him,” Come on! It would be okay!! You have an amazing voice!! What? Will and Benny tease you about it? I don't think they would! Time to have some fun!! Or i can go up there and sing with you?” Santi smiled.” If I were to do it. We are going to sing From the edge of the deep green sea.” She smiled,” you got it!!”

Both got on stage to get ready to sing. Apple whispers.” Have fun. I got your six. “ Santi smiled and started to play the guitar. The audience got quiet as they started to sing. It was like magic in the air.Santi got so into the song as he was singing. So did she. They always sing it when they hear it on the radio. Benny and Frankie went back to their booth. Benny whispers,” never have guessed it.Pope can sing and play a guitar. He has been holding out on us.`` Frankie said,” I knew. When he is in a good place. He would be singing and playing guitar. His dad taught him. When he died. Pope stopped playing. Now seeing him play right now? It is a miracle.” After the song ended. The audience went crazy. They wanted more!! Santi told them he would play again soon. Apple hugs him tight,” Tell me! Was that fun? Your dad would be proud of you!” He rubs his neck and sighs,” yeah, it was fun. Think i felt both of my parents while I was up there.” When he said that broke her heart.Thought she did a good thing for him to get up there. Both of them went to join the others. Benny and Will gave them a huge hug. Benny pats Santi on the back.” Yall are so Fucking good up there! How can Frankie and I top that!!” Frankie laughed. Time for them to go up there. Apple, Will,and Santi sat down to watch them sing a party song. Will knows what the song was. Every song that was drilled into everyone's head Friends in low places by Garth Brooks is his go to song. How did he ever persuade Frankie to do this with him is a mystery!! When they started to sing. It was so much fun watching them dance as well!! Apple went to the karaoke player to pick out her song.

Santi wondered what she would pick. It could be anything. After they finished their performance. Time for Apple to do her thang. Her song choice was I’ll be your shelter by one of her favorites, Taylor dayne. When the song started to play. Santi knew it!! Love how she moves when she sings that!! Every now and then she would wink at Santi. Then he blew a kiss to her. When the song ended. He took the guitar and went on stage and sat on a stool,and took the mike,” i want to dedicate this song i wrote years ago. It’s about a person I thought about nonstop for the last few years. My best friend. Whom I never would never see again. It is called Never had. “ Apple was in awe!! How sweet is that!! He would look at her while he was singing. Took her breath away!! When he played the last chord. Everyone got up from their seats and applauded and lots of cheers. Santi went right over to Apple to hug her,and the boys went over to hug him. She is so proud of him!! It was getting late so everyone said their goodbyes. Apple lays her head on Santi's shoulder while he drives.

What a night!! Full of laughs and tears. Now that is over. All they want to do is go home and be alone with one anotherAs they pulled the car under the carport. All she could think about was what had happened that evening. Learned about Santi’s other nickname and him singing a song he wrote just for her. Made her heart flutter! He is so sweet and oh so talented! She is so worn out! Yawns and goes inside so she could shower and go to bed. As soon Apple sits on her bed. Pulled off her jacket, shoes and her jeans. That is when she lays on her bed and falls asleep.

Santi goes around the house. To make sure everything is locked. Turns off the lights,and goes upstairs. Sees his love fast asleep. Sits on the bed.Moved some hair out of her face. Kisses her forehead, that caused Apple to open her eyes. Gave Santi a sweet smile,and he kissed her again,” Can see someone is tired. Want me to help you put your pjs on or you want to sleep in your tee?” Apple smiles and sits up while rubbing her shoulder,” was gonna take a shower.but guess i didn’t make huh” Santi chuckled,” nope you didn't honey. How about we both take that shower together,and we can snuggle?’

Apple nods and he pulls her up so she can undress. Santi has other plans, pulls her tee over her head,and places a kiss on her neck and shoulder. Causes her to moan,and leans close to him as he undoes her bra. She was so lost when he touched her! Her head rests on his shoulder as he continues his kiss fest.While her hands wrapped around his waist. Pulls up his tee so she could feel his warm skin. Santi looks down at her with a smirk,” thought you were tired hermosa? Or you were fibbing . “ Apple giggled,” I’m still tired. Could not help it! You are so close to me. Could resist the freaking urge!!” he throws the bra on the floor. Staring at the beauty that sits before him. That is when she covers her breast. Not because she was shy or anything. It was getting rather cold. Santi picks her up,and carries her to the bathroom. While the water is heating up. Apple sits on the counter while Santi slowly undresses in front of her. What a sight to see. Tanned from head to toe. Well toned body. Even Though it was not the first time Apple has seen him naked since he has been home,it still takes her breath away. Santi still in his boxers ,and her still in her thong. Started to share a lustful kiss. Tongues searching eachothers mouths. Santi pulls her off the counter,and takes her thong off with a swift hand, then he takes his boxers off as they enter the shower. Leans Apple under the water as he kisses every part of her body he wanted to kiss the first night he came home. Which sends her over the edge! Now it is her turn to touch santi. She kissed him slowly at first. Then let her hands roam. Rubbed his pecks, kissed his nipples that caused him to moan her name loudly. Saves his fine ass for last.

Santi could not take it any longer, he kissed her again. Caused apple to gasp for air. His kisses always took her breath away. Santi finds her body wash,and rubs some on his hands so he can rub it on her. She closes her eyes as he rubs it on her. Moans his name as he reaches her thighs! She is putty in his hands. All she could do is hold on to him. God she is gonna explode when he rubs her clit! Wraps her arms round Santi’s waist so she could steady herself. Santi whispers,” i know you like what I'm doing to you, mi amor. Let me take care of you. Want to make you come like crazy.”

Apple kisses his neck as he continues his quest. Which causes her body to quiver. Something she had never experienced before! Does not want this to end!! She wants to touch santi so badly! Felt his fingers going inside her. Let out a scream,” Santi! Don't stop! Please take me now!! “ Santi smiles as he continues to mark her neck,” Hold on baby! Want to get inside you,but you have to wait! Can you do that for me?” Apple nods when he turns off the water,and dries her off ,and carries her to her bed. Lays her down gently so he towers over her. Looks into those beautiful eyes he loves so much. This is what he needs now. After his emotional breakdown about his mom. He needs to focus on one thing that makes him happy. Is soulmate. Kisses her again slowly touching her. She could feel his bulge between her legs. Wished he would just stop teasing her and just get inside of her already!! Closes her eyes as Santi goes to work again. When he gets to her inner thighs again. Then licks her clit again . loves how sweet she tastes,and he looks into her eyes,” you ready for me i see hermosa.? Hang on for just one more moment. Need to get you wet for me. Then you will receive the gift you want so much.”

When he is sucking her pussy , Apple lets out a scream of desire that causes her to grab hold of the headrest. It is the signal he is ready for,” ready for me to rock you like a fucking hurricane baby?” Apple giggles.” Can't resist you with a line like that shooter. So fuck me already!!” Santi is so ready to enter her. His cock enters her slowly and does not want to hurt her. Lays on top of her as he grinds her slowly. She whimpers.” I'm about to come baby!! Feel so fucking good!!” Santi whispers .” not yet my love. Hold on till i say. “ Apple moans ,” Can't hold it in much longer please baby!!” That when she finally comes. This was his plan. For her to explode. Santi finally calms down so he could kiss the come from her pussy. Then goes into the bathroom to get a cloth to wash off the rest he could not reach. Apple’s eyes were about to close when he finished cleaning her up. Santi lays beside her, rubs her cheek . she leans to his touch,and lays on her side facing him. Looking at him with love in her eyes. Rubs his cheek,” You know , i still can't get the song out of my head. That was the sweetest thing you have ever done for me. I love you santi!!”

[chanlixformysoul]

Sounds easy, right? [ Chanlix ]

rating: mature

word count: 2217

chapter: 1

next chapter: 2

summary:

➥ Felix was sent to kill Chan but he got hurt and now Chan is nursing Felix back to health, they might also fall in love on the way.

song recommendation:

estimated reading time: 17.1 minutes

ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚

It wasn't supposed to be like this. Felix would sneak his way in, kill Chan and get his goddamn money.

But oh boy he was in for a ride. The 'Big Boss' as people would call him wasn't that big nor great at all, he was just the co-CEO of the company, one position away from being the big CEO. His brother, Chan's dad, died besides his mother 7 years ago in a car accident , leaving Chan as CEO of the company. The Big Boss used Felix whenever he wanted to, but he never put Felix in a position like this before, to kill a person. He knew that if he disobeyed the Big Boss he would get beaten up and tortured, plus he would never get the money promised back and the fact that he was a cat hybrid didn't help either. The Big Boss told Felix to kill Chan, he would sneak in his house and get rid of him because he needed to not because he wanted to.

Sounds easy, right?

Well it actually isn't, not when Felix tripped because the welcome mat at the entrance was crooked sending his head into the door with a loud thump sound. As he tried to get away fast he lost his balance and was sent once again flying down the big and grand staircase. The door immediately opened, revealing a distressed looking man, shirt halfway undone and one shoe off. Felix knew Chan rushed outside because of the noise that he made but he couldn't help but admire his figure.

'Hey buddy, care to explain?' Chan said as he crossed his arms one over another raising his eyebrows.

'I umm... actually.... sorry, I gotta go.' But little did he know that falling down a huge staircase can do this much. Pain started to shoot from his ankles to his ribs and back. The big impact with the door sure left it's mark as he felt blood dripping from his blonde locks to his eyebrows. He pulled himself from the ground, trying to not make a fool out of himself more than he actually did earlier, wincing and shooting silent cuss words at himself for being so goddamn stupid.

Before he could walk down the street, he wanted to run but he weighed his options and he knew that if he started running it was only a matter of two steps before he came crashing to the ground once again.

He was about to do his second step but suddenly a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

'What the heck happened to you?'

'Oh... as I said I have to go, sorry.'

'You're not going anywhere, not with that head of yours.'

Felix couldn't believe what just happened, he screwed up the mission. He could say goodbye to this month's rent, goodbye to any decent meal he would allow himself to buy with the money check. Maybe if Big Boss would have some mercy he could leave him and not kill him, maybe he would understand, but deep down Felix knew he was gonna be tortured again by the thoughts of affording to even live when he opens his eyes every morning.

He couldn't stop trembling and his legs started shaking with fear of being killed by Big Boss because of his failed mission. Before he knew it he started crying, like full on sobbing and at last collapsed to the ground leaving a distressed Chan picking him up and urgently calling his doctor to come see the boy.

Chan was confused, really confused. This boy, he wanted to do something, right? But at the same time he couldn't help but feel a little weird because of the younger one. He had such a pretty face, rosy cheeks accompanied by constellations of freckles, lips that looked like petals of the rarest and finest flower you could find on earth. Chan found himself admiring the boy after the doctor left. As the doctor said it there weren't such serious issues but it wasn't something little either. The paper entitled prescription was long and let's say not even close to Felix's budget.

Chan kept a washing cloth by his side all the time, slowly stroking the youngest arms and forehead. He placed Felix on his bed justifying his actions in his head saying 'the couch is too small'. As he was making his way to the kitchen,Chan saw a little head that popped up in his bed. He made sure to bring the glass of water and the pills that the doctor prescribed. Felix woke up, and by that he knew he had officially fucked up real hard.

He tried to escape the blanket, kicking it off of him but the pain started once again as well. His ribs, back, legs, head and ankles hurt like hell. As he cleared his vision he saw Chan... he was done for sure.

'Hi there, I see that you woke up. Don't worry just stay in bed and take these. Oh and the bill for the medication, I took care of it.' He simply said smiling while placing the pills and water down on the nightstand.

Felix immediately came to his senses when Chan sat besides him on the bed. He tried to get off the bed but he was once again stopped but this time not only by the immense pain, but by strong arms.

'Where are you going?'

'To my house? I didn't ask for your kindness you know? You could've just let me be on the ground. It would've been better that way for the both of us trust me.' Felix said with no emotion in his voice.

'Hey, you can go to your home once you will recover, I'm not letting you out like this especially at this hour.' That made Felix turn his head for the nearest thing that indicated time only to read it as 11:34 pm. Fucking great isn't it. He knew the busses wouldn't be out that late and he knew that from this wealthy neighbourhood to his small apartment was an immense distance that he couldn't travel by foot.

'At least tell me your name, mines Chan.'

'Felix...'

'That's a cute name, Felix.' Chan said while trying to get the younger one to look at him in the eyes. He was getting closer and closer until he saw that Felix was crying once again.

'Hey what's wrong? Did I make you uncomfortable?'

'I failed, I'm gonna be left in the streets again, I'm so sorry. Please let me go, please. I'm a bad person, you don't want me here.' Felix continued sobbing, putting his hands to cover up his face and turning his head so Chan couldn't look at him.

'No you're not a bad person, Felix. If you want you can stay here with me, I'm always lonely, I rarely go out because of my work. I'm either at work or at home. You can stay with me for as long as you want to, I won't force you, just come here...' Chan says looking at Felix with gentleness in his eyes before climbing over the mattress to hug the youngest little frame.

'It's okay, Lix, I'm here you don't need to worry'

'Why are you being nice to me? I was supposed to do a bad thing to you.' He says sniffing and letting more tears fall down.

'Felix, I like you, that's why I'm being nice to you, I want you to stay with me, please tell me what's wrong' Chan said, voice trembling, not knowing what to do.

'Please don't hit me or do something, your uncle s-send me to kill you, I didn't want to but he would torture me if I didn't and I wouldn't get the money, I need the money so I can live, I'm sorry ' Felix sobbed harder than before as he looked at Chan. Chan shifted, Felix immediately twitched expecting a slap and then to be beaten up and thrown away just like Big Boss's men do with him all the time, Felix was shaking so much he fell out the bed into the hard and expensive wood flooring. His back started hurting more but that didn't matter he started to run to the door. Chan was quick and caught him pulling him to his chest.

'Did uncle really say that?'

Felix couldn't even look in Chan's eyes as he nodded. Tears trailed down his cheeks again.

'I'm sorry, I'm going to leave you. I don't have the money for the medication but I will give it to you, I promise just please don't hurt me. I swear I will disappear and you don't have to see me again, I promise...' Felix cried into his hands, his knees starting to give in so he dropped to the floor. He winced in pain as he made contact with the floor. He felt exhausted but he would go to his apartment, he had to.

Chan quickly went down to Felix picking him up while whispering that he's not mad at him and that he is just a little shocked. Felix was still saying that he didn't need to be carried, he just wanted to go home but Chan insisted that he will have to stay here till his pain is gone. Felix being exhausted physically and emotionally he agreed. Chan carried Felix to his bed placing him gently on it.

'Let's sleep for now, we will talk tomorrow,ok?'

'It's ok' said Felix going down on the floor again, this time intentionally. Chan just watched the younger not understanding what he was doing.

'Good night.' Said Felix as he laid on the cold flooring, feeling his back and ribs ache.

'Felix I-' Chan was cut off by Felix.

'Oh sorry, I will go in the living room'

'No, don't do that. I was just wondering what you were doing on the floor?'

'Trying to sleep?' He said looking confused as well.

'Felix, come here' Chan said as he patted the space next to him.

'I know we've just met a few hours ago but please stay with me, I beg you'

'I don't know, Chan, I have nothing to offer you, I have no family, no friends, no money, I'm also a cat hybrid. I'm practically useless, better off dead.' He said as he slowly got on the bed, staying on the edge so he could occupy less space than he needed to.

'Don't say that, come closer, I want to hug you if that's ok'

Felix didn't say anything he just got closer to the older. Raising his head to look at Chan, he found the older's eyes comforting, this time Felix hugged Chan burying his face in Chan's chest and collarbone. Chan let out a chuckle, Felix feeling the vibration through his chest.

'So what's your answer?'

'If I'm not a bother, I want to stay.'

'That's perfect then, can we sleep like this? I want to cuddle you while sleeping.' Felix turned red feeling his ears burning.

'O-ok then' Chan only nodded in agreement, setting them down. Felix didn't know what to do so he just stayed still not even daring to look at Chan.

'Do you not want to cuddle?' Asked Chan as he propped his head up a little.

'I never did it before, I don't know what to do...' he looked down in embarrassment.

'Really? That's okay. Do you want to face me or not?'

'I want to see your face'

'Okay then, sweetheart, come closer'

Felix could only smile at the sudden nickname clinging to the older, as he snuggled into him.

'I'm sorry for everything'

'You didn't do anything, bub, it's all ok now, we are together and that's what matters in the end.'

'Aren't you mad at me? I got you in so much trouble...I feel bad, i didn't want to accept the task, but I didn't have another choice, they would torture me and beat me and then throw me out like a dog... I didn't want that to happen again, I'm sorry Chan, I really am...' Felix said looking up at Chan, putting a hand gently on Chan's cheek.

Chan put his hand above Felix's hand noticing how tiny it was.

'Don't worry, it's none of your fault, you were the victim and as soon as you get better we will go and confront uncle.'

'No, please don't do that, please. You will get in trouble for me and he will come for you. I don't want to lose you' Felix started tearing up again but now Chan was here for him. Chan held him closer whispering that everything is okay.

'Don't worry Felix, uncle will be punished for everything he has done to you. I can't believe he will actually do that to someone, how cruel can one be?'

'Thank you, Chan, for helping me and letting me stay with you.'

'Felix, no need to worry, okay? You're here with me from now on. Let's sleep, it's gotten late.'

'Thank you, Channie.....' Felix mumbled cutely as he drifted into the land of dreams but this time his dreams weren't nightmares this time, his dreams were full of Chan's face, laugh, touch.....he was feeling happy. Was he allowed to feel that way?

᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚

my ao3: Mrs_SnowPitch

my wattpad: ChanlixForMySoul

my masterlist: iza’s masterlist

[madasthesea]

what about the remember me one? seen a lot of fics with peter getting amnesia but never one of tony forgetting anything? could be a nice switch to see how peter would deal with that + tony trying to figure out how he went from a wild playboy to a supposed superhero with a teenager. I'm sure I'd cry lmao

Guess what, anon. I already had 2000 words written on this very topic. Hence why this is so very long.

Tony wakes up. He blinks around at the well-lit room around him—softblue walls, clean sheets on his bed. There’s medical equipment around him,beeping steadily with his heartbeat.

He isn’t worried, but he is confused.

He has no idea where he is.

A hospital, he thinks,but he doesn’t know how he knows that.

Actually, the more he thinks, the more he realizes that he doesn’tknow... anything.

His name is Tony. He’s in a hospital room. There’s a dull achebuilding at the back of his head.

That’s it. He closes his eyes and concentrates, tries to rememberhow he got here, but there’s nothing before he opened his eyes.

“Tony?”

Tony jerks his eyes open, looks at the dark-haired woman suddenlystanding in front of his bed.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi,” she replies, smiling a little. “I’m Dr. Helen Cho.”

Tony tries to think if the name is familiar. Or if it should befamiliar. It isn’t, so he says, “Nice to meet you.”

Dr. Cho hums. “Yes. About that. I suspected based on the MRIresults from this morning, but this confirms it. Tony, you have full retrogradeamnesia. It is temporary. We’re finding a solution.”

Tony frowns. “How do you already know it’s temporary if I’ve justwoken up?”

Dr. Cho doesn’t seem surprised by his blunt question. In fact, herlittle smile grows just a bit.

“The cause of your amnesia is not from blunt force trauma or a deteriorationin the hippocampus, but another source that I feel is best not to disclose atthis time. I’ve consulted another doctor with your case and he assures me thatthere is a solution that will fully restore your memories, it will just take afew days to take effect.”

“That sounds suspicious as heck, but I guess I’ll take your wordfor it, Doc. You seem like you know what you’re talking about.”

“I do. That’s why you hired me,” Helen says simply. That’s news toTony. He thinks about his response for a moment.

“And the other doctor. I hired them, too?”

“Dr. Strange is a... colleague of yours. He wanted to help.” Tonyraises an eyebrow, a retort on the tip of his tongue, but Cho keeps speaking. “Wouldyou like to see your family now, Tony?”

Tony freezes. He... he has a family? Are they worried about him? Dothey know he has amnesia... that he can’t remember them?

What if they get mad that he can’t remember them?

His mouth is suddenly dry. He swallows hard.

“Do they know?” He whispers.

“I’ll warn them before they come in,” Helen assures him. When Tonycontinues to stare at the door with wide eyes, she adds, “They’re very worriedabout you, Tony. They’d like to see you.”

“Right. Ok. Umm... bring them in, I guess.”

Helen leaves. Tony tugs at the blanket over his lap, his stomachfluttering with nerves as he waits for someone else to show up. He has no ideawho to expect.

Does he have a spouse? Are his parents alive? Siblings, maybe? Noneof those feel right, but does that mean anything?

The door opens again and Tony’s jaw drops a little bit.

The woman walking toward him is easily the most beautiful personhe has ever seen. Her long strawberry blonde hair falls over her shoulders, herblue eyes wide as she hurries over to him.

“Tony,” she murmurs, sitting on the edge of his bed. She puts onehand on the side of his face, worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth.

“Umm,” he breathes intelligently. “Hey.”

The woman smiles a bit, her eyes filling with tears. The sightmakes something in Tony’s gut clench, icy dread shooting through his veins.

He sits up a bit, presses his hand over hers.

“Don’t cry,” he says without thinking. “Please don’t cry.”

Her face softens. She rubs her thumb along Tony’s cheek.

“Hi, Tony,” she whispers. “I’m Pepper.”

“Pepper,” he repeats quietly, hoping that it will feel familiar inhis mouth. It doesn’t. “That’s a nice name,” he offers, smiling a little.

Pepper laughs, a soft exhale of breath. Tony likes the way hernose scrunches up when she does it.

“Thank you.” They sit for another moment, hands still overlapping.Tony looks at her intently, hoping that if he looks hard enough he’ll remember something about her.

Finally, he has to ask. “And you’re my...?”

Her smile is a little sadder this time. “I’m your fiancée.”

Tony gapes at her for a second. “Holy crap.”

Pepper laughs again, an actual laugh that makes Tony smile justfrom hearing it.

His breath catches in his throat when she leans forward and kisseshis cheek. His heartbeat pounds in his ears, his stomach swarming with butterflies.

“Even with amnesia, you’re still my Tony,” Pepper says like it’sthe greatest compliment in the world.

He smiles at her, a dopey grin that makes her laugh again. It’sofficially his new goal in life to make her laugh as much as possible.

Although he wants her to stay, after a few minutes, he can’t helpbut wonder if there’s anyone else out in the hall, anxiously waiting for theirchance to talk to him.

“Is... Dr. Cho said ‘they,’” Tony starts out haltingly. “Arethere... more people?”

“Of course,” Pepper assures him. “I’ll go get him.”

Without any explanation as to who ‘him’ is, Pepper kisses hischeek one more time and leaves. He watches her go, his nerves mounting again. Hehalf hopes she’ll come back with the next person. Her presence is starting tofeel familiar and comforting—like his body is remembering her before his brainis.

 To Tony’s surprise, the next person that walks in is a kid.

He’s scrawny and a little short, and could be anywhere between thirteenand sixteen. His brown hair curls over his ears, his forehead.

When he saw Pepper for the first time, she had felt like a totalstranger. But as soon as he sees the kid, something in him seems to perk up, avoice in his head repeating I know him. Iknow him. How do I know him?

Tony sits up in his bed, watching the boy with furrowed eyebrows.Why does this kid seem so familiar?

And then their eyes meet.

The boy’s eyes are a warm brown. Tony doesn’t know how he knows, butimmediately he thinks ‘just like mine.’

Tony’s heart skips a beat. His breath catches in his lungs.

Oh mygosh.

That’s myson.

The thought comes with the quiet certainty of fact. And then there’sa rush of emotion so intense Tony is dizzy with it. A sense of awe fills him atthe thought that this living, breathing person is Tony’s kid, and with it an innate need to protect him from anythingthat could possibly hurt him.

The boy stops at the foot of the bed. Tony can see now that hiseyes are red from crying, and it feels like being punched in the stomach, animmediate cry of fix it resounding inTony’s mind.

“Come here,” Tony says, numbly patting the bed where Pepper hadsat before. The kid hesitantly settles himself next to Tony, their legsbrushing through the thin blanket.

Tony swallows hard, tries to take in everything about his son’sface. He’s beautiful, really, and he knows most fathers say that about theirnewborns, but this is Tony’s first time meeting his kid and he’s shaking andscared and already so completely in love with this kid that he doesn’t even know.

He raises a hand to the boy’s cheek, just like Pepper had done tohim. His eyebrows beetle as he looks at Tony, an almost pleading expression onhis face.

“What’s your name?” Tony whispers, hating himself for having toask.

Tony can almost hear the sob his son chokes back.

“Peter.”

Peter.

“I’m sorry, Peter.”

“What for?”

“For being such a terrible father that I forgot my own son,” Tonyexplains.

To his surprise, Peter freezes. Maybe he had hoped that Tony hadn’ttruly forgotten him, had still remembered who he was even if he couldn’tremember his name, only to be disappointed.

Tony almost apologizes again, but Peter stops him by slumpingforward and hugging Tony around the middle.

“It’s not your fault,” Peter assures him, his voice breaking.

Tony wraps his arms around Peter’s shoulders, buries his nose inthe kid’s hair. It’s comforting, if not familiar, and Tony is content to sitthere for a long time.

Pepper comes back with Dr. Cho and two other men who introducethemselves as Rhodey and Happy. Tony makes a face at their weird names and theyboth laugh. Peter is still tucked into his side and Tony is happy to keep himthere, combing fingers through his curly hair. He wonders for the first timewho Peter’s mom is. She must have curly hair just like Peter’s, he thinks.

To his surprise, Cho says that he’s free to leave. He’s even moresurprised to learn that this isn’t actually a hospital at all, but a medbay ina tower that he owns and lives in.

“Am I rich?” he asks at that, and everyone laughs so hard theycry, which Tony doesn’t understand at all.  

Pepper and Peter lead him to the elevator after he’s changed outof the hospital gown.

“FRIDAY, take us to the penthouse,” Pepper asks politely.

“Of course, Miss Potts,” a woman’s voice answers. Tony jumps andlooks at the ceiling where the voice came from.

“That’s your AI, FRIDAY. You made her,” Peter explains.

“An AI?” Tony asks, his eyes alight in curiosity. “And she runsthe tower?”

“And a load of other things.”

“That’s amazing,” Tony says, grinning. Peter and Pepper both smileback at him.

“Wait until I show you your lab,” Peter promises.

 The day speeds by to Tony. After Peter shows him around the lab,which had Tony feeling like a kid in a candy store, they mess around for acouple hours, Peter’s jaw drops and his eyes go huge as he realizes something.

“What?” Tony asks, self-conscious. As fun as the day has been, Tony’samnesia is a stumbling block in most of their conversations, a handicap theyhave to work around.

“You’ve never seen Star Wars,”Peter gasps.

“Umm... no,” Tony agrees, because he definitely doesn’t rememberever seeing it.

Peter grabs his wrist and doesn’t even wait for Tony to put histools down before starting to drag him from the room. “Come on. The only thingbetter than watching Star Wars forthe first time is watching someonewatch it for the first time.”

“That good, huh?” Tony asks, laughing, letting his kid tow himalong.

Peter stops dead and stares at him. “They’re the best movies inthe world.” Then he keeps pulling him along.

And so he spends the evening sprawled on the couch with Peter andPepper, eating pizza and watching Star Wars and Tony thinks maybe he doesn’tneed his memories back if this can be his life from now on.

When Darth Vader reveals himself to be Luke’s father, Tony isappropriately shocked.

“He just cut off his son’shand?” Tony asks, outraged. Peter nods against his shoulder, seeming pleasedwith Tony’s reaction. Tony uses a finger to tip Peter’s chin back so they’relooking at each other.

“I promise, even if I go dark side, I will never cut off yourhand, ok, baby?” Tony tells Peter in faux-seriousness.

“Good to know,” Peter laughs, tucking himself closer to Tony’sside. Pepper, on his other side, is watching them, and when Tony looks over ather she doesn’t clear the confusion off her face quite fast enough.  

He wonders if maybe he and Peter don’t usually act like this, ifmaybe Peter is just relieved that he’s ok and is humoring his more tactiletendencies.

He thinks maybe he should be more concerned about the fact that hecan’t remember the previous years of his life, but there’s something... freeingabout it. He can just exist, in this moment, with his fiancée and his son, withno recollection of any past tension or grief or worries.

He isn’t sure why, but he has the terrible suspicion that a lot ofhis memories are not good ones.

That night he dreams of monsters and flying and fathomless spacespread out before him. Someone is screaming, and it’s him and Pepper and Peterall at the same time.

He wakes breathless, the void of his past a welcome reprieve.

 The thing he finds weird, he decides as he wanders around thepenthouse the next day while Peter’s still asleep and Pepper’s at meetings, isthat there are no pictures of Peter as a child.

There are plenty of recent pictures, where Peter looks the same ashe does now, and Tony’s in many of them, but if the kid was his son, wouldn’the have baby pictures around? The kid with a trophy of some kind, a Christmas,a birthday?

Maybe they were estranged for a long time?

The thought that Tony could have had a son and not been allowednear him makes him sick.

There are no pictures of anyone that could be his parents either. Hegets a sinking feeling he knows why.

He almost asks FRIDAY, which is still the coolest thing he’s everheard of, but he doesn’t. He has a hard time admitting to himself it’s becausehe doesn’t want to know.

 When Peter is finally up and dressed, he comes to Tony with a grinon his face.

“I have a surprise for you,” Peter says.

“Kid, I have no memories, everything is a surprise.”

Peter laughs and takes Tony by the wrist, leading him to theelevator. They go down past the labs, but stop before the Medbay. Tony waitsfor the doors to open with baited breath.

The room Peter leads him into covers the entire floor, and islined on every wall with gleaming metal statues in shades of red and gold.

“Woah,” Tony breathes, stepping out and turning slowly so he cansee more. “What are these?”

“These are your babies,” Peter says simply.

Tony arches an eyebrow at him. “You’re my baby. These are...awesome.”

Peter rolls his eyes, but he seems to be blushing a little, whichTony again finds odd. He was just stating a fact, what was there to beembarrassed about?

“You know what I meant,” Peter says.

“I... I made these?” Tonyasks. Peter had told him that he’s a world-class genius and a mechanic, but it’shard to believe when he has no memories of being either of those things.

“Every one.” Peter sounds proud, and Tony preens a little internally.His son is proud of him. It’s a good feeling.

“What are they for?”

“Brace yourself,” Peter warns, smiling. Tony waits. “Along withbeing a genius and a billionaire, you’re also a superhero. Called Iron Man.These are your suits.”

Tony looks again at the suits, walking slowly around the room andtaking in each one.

“I... I’m a superhero?”

“You’ve saved the world a few times,” Peter admits, tipping hishead against Tony’s shoulder as they stand together, looking at a clunkiermodel of the suit. The plaque under it reads “Mark III.”

“Wow,” Tony breathes. And then he notices the one suit differentfrom all the rest—instead of a robotic suit of armor, it’s more form-fitting,metallic red and blue with a spider emblem on its chest. He walks toward it. “Isthis mine, too?” He asks, confused.

“No, that’s actually... that one’s mine,” Peter tells him. “I’m asuperhero, too.”

Tony whips around to look at Peter. “I let you fightsupervillains?” he asks, suddenly appalled at his own parenting.

Peter shrugs. “You tried to stop me. It didn’t work. So now youprotect me, instead. You made this for me.”

“Are you... is it just the suit? Like me? Or do you...?” He doesn’treally know how to ask his kid if he has superpowers, so he trails offawkwardly. Luckily, Peter gets what he was trying to say.

“Want to find out?” he asks, grinning slyly.

 If Pepper were home she definitely would have stopped them. But turnsout Tony’s decision making is very easily swayed when Peter’s enthusiastic andexcitable, and before he knows it, he’s suited up in one of the Iron Man suits,Peter’s in his Spider-Man suit, and they’re both exiting the tower from thebalcony on the 98th floor.

Tony nearly falls to his death the second he takes off, but FRIDAYhelps, and Peter gives him pointers as he swings along next to him, and soon he’sflying like it’s second nature. And maybe it is, to him, buried in his muscles,so deep that even amnesia can’t make him forget it.

He and Peter explore New York from the air, laughing and whoopingas they go, and Peter shows him what he can do: the strength, the wall-climbing,all of it. Finally, breathless, they both sit on the edge of the roof of askyscraper, their feet dangling hundreds of feet above the pavement.

Gosh, how could he ever forget this?This life, this amazing family, this job.

Or maybe his life wasn’t actually like this. Maybe he didn’t spendhis days flying around the greatest city in the world with his son at his side,happy and carefree. But the possibility of it is there now—he’s gotten a tasteof it and wants more. Even when Dr. Cho’s miraculous solution comes through, hecan’t imagine he’ll ever choose to go back to what he was before.

Peter’s rambling next to him, talking about a time when the two ofthem had stopped a bank robbery together. He sounds a little wistful. For thefirst time, Tony feels guilty about not remembering.

“This must be hard for you,” Tony says when Peter pauses.

Peter looks at him. He’s taken off his mask, figuring they’re sohigh up no one can see his face. He shrugs, bouncing his heels against theconcrete below him.

“I... I know I don’t... know you super well right now. I can’tremember when your birthday is, or your favorite food, or what you like to do.”

He stops and takes a breath, before reaching out and turning Peter’sface toward him. The kid’s eyes are wide, and there’s something sad about themthat makes Tony’s heart break.

“But I know I love you. I just look at you and there’s this weightin my chest and I just know that Ilove you so much.”

To his dismay, Peter’s eyes fill with tears.

“Oh, jeez,” Tony says, hastily moving to wipe the tears away asthey fall. “Do I not tell you that enough or something, Pete?”

“No, no, I just... I love you, Dad,” Peter whispers, and there’ssomething in his voice that Tony doesn’t understand, something guilty and sadand afraid.

“I-I’ll get my memories back soon,” he promises, hoping that willfix it.

“I know,” Peter says. He smiles sadly, than yanks on his mask andstands, leaping without hesitation off the building. Confused and a little hurt,Tony follows.

As they make their way home, all Tony can think about is how Peter’svoice broke when he called him Dad.

 In his dream, Tony is holding Peter in his arms, cradled to hischest, looking down at his son’s face.

Peter’s crying. Tony’s crying, too.

He watches his son slowly turn to dust, and at the same rate, hisheart shatters into pieces.

The fragments coat his hands.

 Tony wakes up and can’t breathe.

Whatever sick joke his imagination was playing on him, he wasn’thaving it. He stood from his bed and tiptoed down the hall. With a little helpfrom FRIDAY, he found Peter’s room and slipped inside.

He could hear the kid breathing and was instantly soothed as if itwere a lullaby.

Did Tony sing lullabies to Peter when he was a baby? He wonderswhat his favorites were, which ones Peter would babble to, which would calm himdown when he was crying.

Tony steps forward and crawls into his kid’s bed.

Peter stirs next to him, the shift in the mattress alerting him toTony’s presence. “M—Dad?” Peter asks groggily.

“Hi, baby. Sorry I woke you,” Tony whispers.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Tony assures. The fear of the dream is behind him, the detailsslipping away. It wasn’t real, obviously. Peter’s here, warm and sleepy, andnot ash on his hands. “I had a weird dream, is all.”

Peter blinks himself into alertness. “What happened in it?”

“It doesn’t matter, it was just a dream.”

“Dr. Strange said to tell him if you access your memories in yourdreams. I need to know,” Peter insists, sitting up.

“Well, I know it wasn’t a memory, cause you died in this dream,alright? And clearly, you’re not dead, so not real,” Tony says, propped up onhis elbows.

Peter’s face goes pale, then he sighs. He lays back down, restinghis head on Tony’s chest and getting him to lay down in the process.

“You were holding me,” Peter says quietly. “And I started turningto dust in your arms.”

“How—” Tony starts, butPeter interrupts.

“That really happened. I... I died.”

“Oh my gosh,” Tonybreathes, horrified, wrapping his arms tight around his kid. He remembers thedream more vividly, all of a sudden, remembers the horrible red dirt and thepain in his chest and the absolute, desolate grief. “Oh my gosh.” There are tears in his eyes.

“It’s ok,” Peter whispers. He curls into Tony’s side like he wasmade to fit there. “You saved me.”

“My son. My son.” Tony holds Peter so close he can feel his heartbeating against his own chest. It’s the only thing that lets him sleep againthat night.

If his lifeis anything like his nightmares, he thinks before he falls asleep, he doesn’t want his memories back.

 Apparently, the single memory is all Dr. Strange needs to bringthem all back. He explains, in a rather pompous way, that he’s a sorcerer whois going to retrieve Tony’s memories from where the other sorcerer who did thishid them.

That sounds like the most absurd thing in the world to Tony, buthe thinks about Peter yesterday on the roof, of Pepper that morning when she’dgone to kiss him and he’d stiffened in surprise and she’d turned away, tryingto hide her frown, and forces himself to sit still.

And just like that, his memories are back. It’s overwhelming atfirst, all the information pouring in like a computer rebooting. Then he’sjust... there.

He opens his eyes and sees Peter across the room and thinks, Oh, crap. Amnesia Tony was an idiot.

Now that he has his memories and knows that Peter is not, in fact,his son, he is absolutely mortified. And, judging by how much Peter’s avoidingeye contact, he’s not the only one.

Dr. Strange leaves in a spray of golden light and then Pepperlooks between the two of them and excuses herself and suddenly it’s just Tonyand Peter, not looking at each other.

Tony thinks he should be the adult here and speak first, but Peterbeats him to it.

“So, we’re all good now, right? I should probably go back home,May’s been wondering,” he rambles, already halfway out the door.

“Kid,” Tony calls. “Come on, we should, um... talk? About this?”

Peter’s shoulders slump. He seems to steel himself before he turnsaround and forces a smile. “It’s ok, Mr. Stark. I get it, you don’t need toexplain. Why else would a kid be hanging around, it was natural for you toassume...”

“Pete,” Tony tries to say, but Peter just plows over him.

“—And about what you said, it’s-it’s alright, I know it’s just causeyou thought I was-“

“Peter,” Tony saysloudly. There’s a beat.

“I’m sorry I called you ‘Dad,’” Peter whispers. Tony stopsbreathing for a moment. “It was selfish.”

“What do you mean?” Tony asks, his heart beating loud in his ears.

“I just wanted to see how it felt.” Peter’s voice is small,ashamed.

Oh, kid.

“Come here, Pete.” Peter doesn’t move. “Alright, I’ll come to you,”Tony says, and crosses the room until he can rest both hands on Peter’sshoulders so he can peer into his eyes.

“Kid, you have this all backwards. I didn’t love you because Ithought you were my son,” Tony murmurs. It’s strange how much easier it hadbeen to say when he had no memories of his father telling him he was weak, ofhis team leaving him beaten and bloody, of betrayal after heartbreak afterinjury. He tries to channel that Tony, the one that lived in the moment becausethere was no past to dwell on. He takes a breath and plunges on.

“I thought you were my son because I loved you. Because you walkedinto that room and I knew you, evenif I didn’t remember why.”

Peter’s expression cheers up marginally. “Really?”

“Yeah, buddy. Really. And I,” he hesitates for a second cause it’sfeelings and not necessary, but it’llmake Peter feel better. “I liked you calling me ‘Dad.’”

Peter gives him a watery smile. “I liked having a dad. For alittle while.”

Tony chucks him gently under the chin.

“You’ve always got me, kiddo.”

[danie1-sava9e]

Corner Creatures

"The shadows and the damned, they lurk in the corner of existence, your vision, your eyes. A cold presence with the formation of an endless skein slowly wrapping around your heart, tightening as you crumble." These are the words a man once told me, a man who is no longer a part of this world. A man who was found mutilated in his home 3 years ago today.

The colossal slam as the letterbox closed almost sent me through the roof. "Bloody ridiculous" I muttered to myself as I ventured down the hall towards my front door. I'm not sure why, but I can't explain the feeling I felt when his letter came through the letterbox. No matter how hard I try. Sadness? No that's not it, I don't think there is a way to describe how I felt in words. I just stood there staring at the decayed and putrid envelope as I was engulfed by its horrific nature.

"Shit," I said to myself. "These fucking kids."

I had fully convinced myself that this was some sick animals idea of a joke, I could not have been farther from the truth. After a long day at work, I arrived home, drenched from the unforgiving "Mother Nature" as they say, but that's life I suppose, yeah, life. Settling down with a bottle of beer and my favourite T.V show I heard something fall off of the table behind me, it was the letter, it lay there still and damp yet I felt it call out to me, pulling me towards it. As I bent down to pick it up after my long journey from the couch I felt as if I would vomit, it had only been 9 hours since this morning yet the smell had grown thicker and the touch had become grimier. Opening the envelope without ripping it was a mission but I eventually got there, God I wish I hadn't. The letter lay on the table in front of me, it was just as damaged and wrinkled as the envelope was, a lot of the writing was smudged but one word that stuck out to me was "Branch" A name I had earned after falling from a tree back when I was deployed in Afghanistan. My heart sunk at the site of this, to you it may seem like a funny joke or a game, but my squadmates were the only ones to use that name, the same squadmates that were slaughtered by enemy forces leaving 2 alive, me and. Him. I stood there for a while, thinking back to all the horrible memories I wish I could erase, but it is in the past. Terrified, I finally decided to read the letter after a long silence, as I said though, a lot of the words were smudged and incomprehensible but this is what I got from it.

"To Branch.

Hey, it has been a while, how are you doing? I know the last time we spoke it ended rather bad, but I just want you to know that I really do care about you. Look, something is happening and I don't know if I am losing my mind or this is some joke but, they won't go away. I see them in the corner of my eye, sometimes standing still and sometimes sprinting towards me, but when I turn towards them, they are gone. They look like shadows but there is something about their eyes, red, glowing. Shit, I think I may have even seen Fergus and Bubbles earlier, just standing there in the very edge of my provisional vision, whispering. Hell, maybe I am going crazy, it really is like being back in those bunkers, you think you see someone but when you look, no one. I don't know what is going on but the police won't do anything and I can't do very much in this old wheelchair of mine, come see an old man will ya kid? Even if it is just for a couple of hours, I would truly appreciate it. I have several lifetimes worth of beer and I'm sure Milly and the new pup would love to see you too. Thank you for sticking with me this long kid, after everything that's happened, you have no idea how much it means to me.

Thanks, Darryn"

The first time I read this my eyes had already swelled up and I was in tears, one of my best friends was calling for help and I never knew, he was played with, then murdered by thugs. I never even thought to ask myself how it took 3 years to travel a 3 hours trip and that was the biggest mistake of my life. Once I had washed my face and calmed down a little bit, I heard footsteps. quiet, but audible, right behind me.

An overwhelming sense of dread filled the air, the room still and silent. A distant voice in my head protested every thought that came into my mind and so I stood there, entirely mute until, they froze. At that moment, my head acknowledged my urge to see who stood beyond and well, you probably guessed it, it was no one, not a soul, the only thing remaining being the never-ending hallway leading downstairs.

After reluctantly jotting it up to stress and my mind playing tricks on me I headed to bed, that was one of the most regretful decisions of my life. Those nightmares, flashes of lights, visions of dead relatives, even myself. But that sound, god that fucking sound, an ear-piercing low yet high pitched moan, it filled my ears, my head, it was unbearable. I started to sense wetness on my arms and legs, it was, blood, my skin seemed to peel back, splitting at the seams slowly transitioning from my body to a foundationless heap of flesh on the ground. I could not move nor speak, all I could do is merely watch as finally, my face ripped. What used to be covered by the surface of skin began to boil, a horrendous sensation of what felt like I was being showered with acid, corrosive liquid digging through me, seeping through every crevice, melting bone and destroying everything within reach. With all of this, paralyzed I remained.

I have never sat up so fast in my life, I basically fell out of my bed before sprinting to the nearest mirror.  I was trickling with sweat and shaking like a mad man, I wasn't sure what to make of everything I just witnessed, but at least I still had my skin. I stared into the mirror for a long while, my skin didn't feel like my own and my body felt hollow, simply a shell for a perpetual void of endless capacity. Continuing my morning I reached work and I could feel myself remaining on edge, I felt like I was being watched from every possible direction and I hated it. Paranoia inflamed my thorax like a matchstick and I could barely take it, I searched my desk for anything to distract myself but when I looked down, I was holding the letter. I began to feel dizzy and fell. My body slammed onto the carpet and groups of muffled voices surrounded me, I looked around dazed, confused and before I could even think, I lost my consciousness.

When I woke up I was in the Medical Room of where I work and after about 30 minutes of a back and forth with the Nurse, I was sent home for the day and told to take it easy. I accepted defeat and took a slow drive home, I don't know what it was, but something didn't feel right at all when I opened my front door, everything was in place, but something just felt off. That night I lay there, unable to sleep, deep in my own thoughts about the past few days, I was soon dragged out of my head by an ungodly scream of a man, it bounced off of every wall and rang throughout the house, I sat in fear, that fear then became terror when I heard footsteps from my staircase. They were wet, hard footsteps and they were coming my way, very, very slowly. I began to hear moaning outside of my door, a groan of a person who was in an inconceivable state of mind. It kept going and going, what was once a moan was now an agonizing scream, it began banging on the door with more strength than a bull and eventually, the door opened.

The door opened slowly with a sound that I cannot describe and then it was quiet once more, I looked around and just before my eyes reached the left corner of my room, I froze. In the corner of my room stood a tall black figure, a shadow, with big red eyes, it's neck twisted and torn in unimaginable ways. It started twitching and soon it was approaching me, fast, but when I looked, it vanished. Just like that, it was gone, whatever demon stood before me was exactly what Darryn described word for word.

The air fell cold, far colder than anything I had felt before, whispers from every direction filled my head with excruciating pain and that's when I saw him, or, them. Darryn, Fergus and Bubbles stood at the bottom of my bed, they stared at me with blank faces, emotionless entirely. They all resembled the same friends I had grown up with, but their eyes, they had no goddamn eyes, there was nothing inside, an endless tunnel of sin and misery. I wanted to call out to them but before I could even get a word out, their mouths began to move, fast, jumbled, the only catch, no sound came out. The room remained silent as Bubbles jaw cracked, skin tearing, Fergus had a sick smile on his face, an ear to ear grin, blood dripped from his toothless mouth, but Darryn? Darryn stood there motionless, crying tears of blood, they trickled down his face and onto the floor.

Darryn spoke, this time with an audible yet sickening tone. He said but one word.

"Branch"

He smiled at me and then all 3 of them looked in different directions around me. During all of this, I failed to realise, I was completely surrounded, my peripheral vision filled with the same red eyes I knew so well. I was being closed in on, no matter where I looked, only one would vanish, then reappear when I looked at another, they were playing with me all along, toying with my fear. I started to panic and tried to get away with every bit of strength in me, but it was no use, they grabbed me and slammed me down onto my bed with my head on its side, I could see them staring down at me, dozens of them with their sick fucking eyes.

They had no facial features besides their eyes yet they exhaled an awful sound of a dying animal. This went on for what I perceived as an eternity before it finally happened, I watched in horror as one of them held my head still and another brought what appeared to be 2 fingers over my eyes and pressed in on them. A pressure unlike any other permeated my eye sockets, I felt as my eyeballs turned to mush in my own head, blood rushing to the now exposed holes in my skull, I screamed in pain that I cannot describe, I just kept screaming, the remains of my eyes dripping from my skull in a thick mushy mess, the entities let me go but I knew for a fact that those fuckers were still there, smiling.

I could sense a hand over my stomach, it was rubbing it, I hated it.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I screamed, lashing out, I tried to kick or punch any of them, but no contact was made. I felt another wave of agony as my stomach was cut, a sharp, never-ending feeling of nausea came over me and I vomited, all of my limbs were being cut now and then it all came to an end when what felt like a sledgehammer thrashed through my belly.

A thick coppery liquid filled my mouth, I knew what it was, I was no alien to blood. I could feel all of their eyes on me, many, many more than before, a gentle cold slowly came over me as crimson fluid entered my lungs pumping them full. I thought about Darryn, Bubbles, Fergus and all of my fallen comrades, the pain they had gone through was now my own. tears slipped down my blood-soaked face and into my mouth, I knew this was the end, I'm coming my friends.

[reformedkingsmanagent]

Hello my beauty! I would love to have a James!Lancelot x Reader one (because we need more of him! I'm still in denial tbh! Unfair death and all that). Maybe reader has a crush on him and shows it by making suggestions, flirtatious moves (f.ex. sitting on his lap, brushing her hand against his bum when walking past behind him) anyways, it gets hella sexual XD Can be smutty (af) if you want to! LOOOOOVE YOU!!!! ❤️

AN: I hope this is okay!

Prompt: Flirtatious James/Lancelot

Pairing: Reader x James!Lancelot

Word Count: 2038

You spotted James standing in the doorway to Merlin’s office as you were headed towards the tech department. He had his hands in his pockets, pulling his pants tight across his bottom. You could hear the two of them laughing about something. He was perfectly within reach. You just couldn’t resist. As you passed by, you reached out and gave him a gentle pat. You saw him jump out of the corner of your eye but you kept walking by, eyes forward. You knew he wouldn’t look at you, not with Merlin so close. It was why you did it- to get a rise out of him.

He kept up an air of propriety and decorum, appearing ever the gentleman, but underneath all that you knew he craved the attention. He was a model agent and you had formed quite the crush on him. You had illustrated this many times, yet he remained steadfastly professional. Knowing he wouldn’t act on any of it, you had a long-running habit of teasing him whenever possible. You made a game out of testing his patience and you were always amazed at how well he controlled himself.

If only, just once, he wouldn’t.

You walked into the lab, setting your things down at your workstation. It was still early in the morning and no one else had come in yet. The room was dreadfully cold and you pulled your cardigan tighter around yourself in a vain attempt to stay warm. You heard someone walk in but paid no attention to them. It was probably one of your coworkers arriving to start their day.

“You little temptress,” he growled, hand sliding up your arm. “You thought I would just let you get away with that?” You looked up, shocked to hear his voice, and met the agent’s furious look. You were even more shocked to see him reacting at all. “Have you gone mad?” James was standing incredibly close to you and you could feel the tension in his fingers that were wrapped around your upper arm.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about—” James sat down on your stool, pulling you over to him.

“You think you can embarrass me in front of Merlin?” He dropped your arm and wrapped a large hand around the back of your thigh, moving you up to stand between his legs. His hand was hot on your skin in contrast to the cold air in the room. He moved that hand higher under the hem of your A-line navy dress, up to your lower back. His other hand smoothed down over the front of your underwear, sliding over your most sensitive area, a smile forming on his face. You reached down and gripped his forearms tightly to steady yourself as you moaned. “Look at you. So desperate.”

“James, what…?” For once he had surprised you. You weren’t sure what provoked this response, but you weren’t going to complain, not when you finally got what you wanted. He stopped, his palm pressing against you through the thin material.

He looked up at you, his eyebrows showing his confusion. “I thought this was what you wanted?”

“Since when do you give me what I want?” You accused. He pressed harder against you, pulling you even closer. Your hands left his arms and you reached up to grab his shoulders for support. You resisted the urge to grind yourself down against his hand, still stuck on why he finally snapped. “What changed?” You asked, breathless.

You felt him withdraw his hands. “No, wait—” You tried to pull on his forearms to get him to stay, but he left the stool and moved back.

“You’re right.” He stood up straight, hiding his hands in his pockets. “I shouldn’t be doing this.” The moment was gone. He was back to his professional self. “Forgive me.” Before you could react, he was out of the lab. You kicked the stool over, the loud clatter filling the room. You allowed yourself a few more seconds of quiet anger before you knelt down and picked it up.

You brought the files into Merlin’s office and set them on the edge of the desk. The office was empty. He was probably out tending to the other thousands of things he was responsible for.

As you turned to leave, you spotted James walking past. He didn’t notice you in Merlin’s office and continued on down the hall. You hadn’t been able to speak with him in the days following the encounter in the lab. You hadn’t seen him at all, as if he were purposefully avoiding you.

You walked quickly up to him and tugged on his shoulder. He whipped around, his reflexes causing him to grab your wrist and force you against the wall in the middle of the hallway. His expression was severe, and even once he realized it was you he didn’t relax.

He let go of you and took a large step back. “Excuse me.”

“James, please—”

“I can’t have this conversation right now. I’m already late for something.” And he was gone again. He was keeping you at a distance, but why?

You were walking home after another long day at Kingsman. You hadn’t seen James for a week, Merlin informing you the following morning that he had been sent on a mission and probably wouldn’t be back for a bit. It was local, but he was to remain undercover.

You felt eyes on you but you didn’t turn to look for the source. It was far better for you to simply get home. You turned a corner and approached the door to your apartment building. You made it inside and up two flights of stairs before you heard the door open again. You glanced down through the space between the stairs and could just barely see someone dressed in all black, and the shine of a pistol in their hand. You started jogging up the stairs two at a time in an effort to make it into your apartment before they could catch up to you.

You could hear the steady footsteps as the stranger climbed the steps behind you. You made it to the top of the third flight in record time and fumbled with your keys to unlock the door. You opened your door and slammed it shut in a panic, but a force on the other side knocked it back open. You pressed yourself back against the wall and waited as the stranger walked in, leading with the pistol. You had yet to turn on any lights in your apartment so they didn’t see you. You waited for the intruder to pass you before you reached out and disarmed him, finding it to be surprisingly easy.

You pressed your foot in the vulnerable space behind their knee, forcing them down easily. You kept the pistol trained on them, reaching over to turn on the entryway light before shoving the door closed and locking it. The last thing you needed was someone witnessing this exchange. You didn’t know how it was going to go, but you had a feeling your neighbors would frown upon this. “Who are you?”

“Don’t you recognize me?” The amusement in the stranger’s voice gave you pause. You stepped around them kneeling on the floor, their hands raised. Once you were able to see their face you set the pistol on the small side table.

“James?! What on earth are you doing here— what happened to you?” His face was bruised slightly and he had a cut along his cheek. He still managed a confident smile.

“It’s nothing. I just need to rest for a bit and then I’ll head back.” You shook your head, bending down to inspect his face. He waved your hands away and stood, rocking back on his heels a bit before he was able to steady himself. He kept a protective hand on his side as he moved further into your apartment, making himself at home.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be undercover?” He was searching your kitchen cabinets, letting out a relieved sigh when he found a hidden bottle of scotch you had long forgotten about. He reached up for a glass and poured some for himself before leaning back against the counter. He brought the glass up to his lips and took a sip. “What about the mission? Do they know you’re here?”

“Oh please, I’m actually good at my job in case you were in doubt,” he said, taking another sip. “No one followed me here, if that’s what you’re wondering. Besides, I already have what I need. If I don’t go back, it won’t matter.”

“What did they do to you?” He turned around to pick up the bottle of scotch and add to his glass but he paused, grimacing.

“Nothing I can’t handle. I’ll be out of here in less than an hour.” You knew he was hiding the extent of his injuries from you. There was a reason he sought you out, why he needed the safety of your apartment.

“Take as much time as you need.”

You didn’t know how strange it would be to have James in your apartment until he was there, making you question everything you did. You had never been so conscious of how everything looked.

You were waiting in the kitchen after directing him to the bathroom. You could hear the shower running through the door. You wondered why he came here, to your apartment, instead of heading back to Kingsman. If his mission was over, he should’ve gone back and met with Merlin where he could receive proper medical attention.

You heard the shower stop and shortly after that, bathroom door opened. You leaned away from the counter and walked over to check on James. He met you as you rounded the corner and wrapped his arms around you, crushing you against his chest, still warm and coated in droplets of water. “James, what are you doing?” You tried to push against him, but it was no use.

He looked down at you and ran a hand across your cheek. “I know we’ve had this discussion before, but I feel like I might be able to give you a different answer this time.”

“What’s changed? Why did you react that day?” You had pretty much given up hope, resigning yourself to your small teasing touches here and there. You could get by just fine without him if you had to.

He leaned down and kissed you instead of answering you. After a few seconds he pulled away, pressing his forehead against yours. “I’ve been told that I’ve been a fool to keep you at a distance like I have been. It took me a bit to see it, but they were right. I’m interested in giving this a shot, if you’ll have me.”

You were still wary, waiting for something to go wrong. Surely it couldn’t be this easy after so long? You felt that there might still be consequences you couldn’t see yet. But you were never going to say no, and you were sure James knew that.

“I don’t know. You’ll have to convince me,” you shrugged. In an instant you were lifted off of the floor and forced against the wall, your legs instinctively wrapping around his bare hips. His hair was still dripping water onto your face as he leaned in to kiss you, his hands holding your thighs for support.

He was moving with a sense of urgency, as if making up for lost time. He kissed along your collarbone and you felt his hands that were holding you up moving ever-closer to your clothed center. Just as he reached it, he stopped. You were reminded of that morning in the lab and how frustrated you had felt.

“Have you been convinced?” He asked, meeting your eyes. You could see an apology waiting there, but he was too proud to say it.

You nodded, accepting both his apology and his offer. He kissed you more firmly than ever before and lifted you away from the wall, carrying you over to your bedroom.

[inkognito97]

Wow, I'm so excited about self-harming Obi-Wan. Can you please continue this one? What if he would try to do this to himself again? Or no?

@blastwaveinsideofme

Also, WARNING! Self-harm is for a lot of people a serious and sensitive topic. So, I advice you not to read, if you have any kind of problems concerning this topic.

Obi-Wan was glad to be back at the temple again, back home in his own quarters. Anakin had his own rooms, he was sharing them with his Padawan, but Obi-Wan still resided in his former Master’s old quarters, a privilege of being a Council member. Despite the years that had passed since Qui-Gon died, there was still something of him that had remained behind in these familiar rooms.

There were of course his plants that Obi-Wan had kept and taken care of, there were some old photos and even some belongings that had once been owned by the tall and long haired man. Yet, Obi-Wan had also made sure to change the rooms, making them his. He was his own man after all, not a copy of his former Master.

A tired and nostalgic smile appeared on his bearded features. He carelessly hung his robe over a chair, got rid of his boots - leaving them near the entrance - and then brought his travel back into the larger bedroom. He put it on the ground, while he sat on the large bed. It was still the on Qui-Gon had used, therefore it was a little larger than the usual human standard. Obi-Wan didn’t mind, not when it reminded him of many nights he had spent here with his Master resting next to him, or curled around him. 

When he had became the man’s Padawan, they had not gotten along, not with Xanatos’ shadow lurking over them and Qui-Gon HAD hurt him a lot of times, there was just no denying it. But they had warmed up to each other, began carrying for each other, so Obi-Wan had not seen how MUCH the older man had actually cared about him, not after he had almost killed himself. After this incident, he had often crawled into his Master’s bed, sometimes just needing his calming presence close by and sometimes actually craving physical contact. Qui-Gon had never pushed him out, not even when Obi-Wan had been sick with the flu. As a result, Qui-Gon had also caught it, but he had not been mad at his Padawan, not at all. 

Obi-Wan let out a sigh and let himself fall back onto the bed. He gazed up at the ceiling for a few moments, lying half on his bed, with his feet still standing firmly on the soft carpet and his arms outstretched. He didn’t want to move, but he knew that his bones would protest later, if he did not. With another sigh, he rolled and moved until he was lying on his side, arms outstretched and his face halfway hidden in a pillow. His blue-green eyes came to rest on his bared wrist, were the remains of his past were forever present.

The ginger haired Jedi closed his hands into tight fists and then shut his eyes just as tightly, slipping into an old memory…

Obi-Wan was not sure what to think. He should maybe be happy to be allowed to finally leave the healer’s wing, but he wasn’t. He did not want to return to the place that was supposed to be his home, but was the setting, where he had almost died, by his own hand. 

Neither did he want to be supervised like a toddler. He had made a mistake, he knew that and he was not stupid enough to try again any time soon, or was he. He unconsciously bit his lip. He should definitely stop thinking like this. Had it gone after the healers’ will, he would not be returning to his quarters anyway. He would be put into a cell like room, with soft walls and nothing with which he could hurt (or entertain) himself. Obi-Wan had once seen such a cell up close, during a failed negotiation mission with his Master. Speaking of which, the man had not yet said a single word to him, not since he had spoken to the healers. The Padawan guessed that he was running their words through his head, though he could not be sure, not with the bond closed. A precaution from the healers.

Suddenly Qui-Gon stopped walking and only his instincts saved Obi-Wan from running into the man, who was already tipping the Code into the lock next to the door. The door slit open and they entered, discarding their boots at the entrance. Then, the older Jedi more or less stirred them towards the living room and nudged Obi-Wan to sit onto the worn out looking brown leather couch.

The Padawan did not look up, his gaze rested solemnly on his folded hands, without really seeing them. A sigh escaped the older man and he tiredly rubbed his nose.

“Obi-Wan… do you have any more… blades, in your possession?” his mood was not readable through his voice.

The ginger haired teenager tilted his head and then, he shrugged.

“I need you to be honest with me, Padawan,” there was a certain edge to his voice.

“I don’t know,” he knew his voice sounded monotone, but he did not care. All he wanted, was to be left alone. He did not want anyone else to prod him for answers he did not want to give, he did not want Bant to stick her gills into this, he did not want Garen or Reeft to try to cheer him up and he certainly did not want to talk to Siri either. He also did not want any healer to ask stupid question. “Are you alright? How are you feeling?” He was totally fine and feeling awesome of course, why else would he have cut himself open. Stupid healers and their mindless questions and not to forget the few Masters who had come to visit. Obi-Wan had ignored all of their questions.

The only one, who had not yet tried to ask after the why, was Qui-Gon Jinn. A part of Obi-Wan, the biggest part of him actually, believed that the man simply did not care enough to ask. Another, smaller and hopeful part - even though it had grown smaller and smaller since the beginning of his apprenticeship under the infamous Master Jinn - wished that the man would understand his need for privacy.

“Alright,” he sounded exhausted. “You will stay in my bedroom until I am sure that there is nothing in your room… I have to look through your personal things though.” He waited for any kind of reaction, an acknowledgement or perhaps the wish to do it together, but nothing came.

“You DO realize that… what you have done… is wrong?”

“Why?”

“Excuse me?” he sounded genuinely taken aback by the one-word question. Had Obi-Wan looked up, he would have seen that the man’s gaze was puzzled.

“Why is it wrong?” he challenged. “Who says it wasn’t the will of the Force?”

“Was it the will of the Force?” Qui-Gon asked worried.

Obi-Wan shrugged.

Under normal circumstances, Qui-Gon would have gotten frustrated with his Padawan’s behavior, but right now, he was only worried. There was something greatly wrong with the boy and he needed to find out what it was, in order to make it better, in order to make Obi-Wan feel better. The Jedi Master had still not gotten over the shock of finding his Padawan bleeding on the floor of his own bedroom, with his wrists slid open and his eyes already glassing over. He would never forget the desolate look in the boy’s eyes, nor the endless hours of waiting and hoping that the healers would win the fight for his Padawan’s life. It had been a close call, Qui-Gon was very much aware of that. He had almost felt his Padawan, he would not do so again.

“Well…” the bearded male cleared his throat, “you are going to see the mind healers from now on, also, regular check ups within the medical bay are required also.”

For the first time since the incident, there was a real reaction from the boy. His displeasure was palpable in the air that surrounded him and Qui-Gon would have to be blind to not see it.

Silently and in the privacy of his own mind, Obi-Wan cursed all the healers in the Jedi temple. If they truly thought he would open up to one of them, they would get a big surprise. There was no way he would speak a single word with them, no way.

“Ok… is there perhaps anything else that you need, that you want?” Qui-Gon asked hopefully. Perhaps he could reawaken his boy’s spirits with this.

“Yes,” Qui-Gon waited impatiently. Blue-green eyes finally looked up. “Leave me alone.”

The Jedi Master blinked. He should have expected that. “Very well, you may go to my bedroom, stay there until I say otherwise, or I will lock the door, understood.”

Obi-Wan nodded, then he stood up and walked to the privacy he so craved. He ignored the pair of icy blue eyes that followed his every move.

Obi-Wan came back to reality and pushed himself onto his back, his arms still outstretched. He was staring at the ceiling again and he realized that this was the exact same position he had taken, all those years ago, when he had first entered his Master’s bedchamber. He had stared at the ceiling than too, but his mind had been empty then.

Obi-Wan hummed in thought. Even in this early stage, he had have a lot of luck, even though his Padawan self had not thought so, of course not. His Padawan self had actually hated Qui-Gon during the first few weeks, until the man had been called to a mission and had left him behind. 

Needless to say, the healers had taken the opportunity and Obi-Wan had found himself drugged and sometimes even bound. The latter being the case, when they were short on personal. When they had enough people, he had been watched 24/7, even while taking a shower or going to the fresher, it had been highly unpleasant to say the least. Thankfully it had only been two weeks till Qui-Gon returned and literally saved him. He had never seen the man so angry before, even in his drugged stayed, he could still remember the long haired man’s anger at finding his Padawan kept like an animal and in a drugged state.

What followed, had probably been the worst days in Obi-Wan’s whole life. Fourteen days had seemingly been enough to actually get addicted to the medication he had gotten. Obi-Wan was no fool, he knew that the healers had wanted to make him feel absolutely nothing, no emotional at all, mostly because they had hoped to make him more compliant with the mind healers. For them, he had just been an interesting project. Too bad for them that his drugged self had been worse than his - at that point - depressed normal self.

A silent tear slipped from Obi-Wan’s eye into his beard. The things he had done and said to Qui-Gon during his cold withdrawal. He knew he had hurt the man. Hell, he had even said, “I hate you!” directly into his Master’s face, while the man had pinned him down onto the bed, wrestling the sharp knife out of his hands. Obi-Wan could not remember, from where he had obtained the knife, someone must have given it to him, because his old Master had made sure that such things were far out of his reach. Obi-Wan had no idea, who it could have been. But he knew for a fact that Qui-Gon had found out.

The days after, he had refused to eat or drink, to a point, were it had gotten life-threatening. Even the older Jedi’s threats to take him back to the healers or to Force feed him, had not made him eat.

It was only when, one quiet evening, Qui-Gon had slipped under the covers and literally wrapped himself around him and told him, how much he cared and how much he worried, that Obi-Wan had finally given in. He had also stopped hating his Master then. It had been the beginning of his healing phase, though he had never told the assigned mind healers a single word, Qui-Gon had been enough.

In the here and now, Obi-Wan was almost asleep, only on the edge of dreams and awareness. Something held him back and he had no idea what it was. Suddenly, a warm feeling passed through him. It was awfully familiar, though Obi-Wan could not place it and it was, as if someone had kissed his cheek. An invisible burden had been taken off from him and it was enough to push him deep into the lands of dreams and wishes.

Had he opened his eye however, the ginger haired Council member would have seen the smiling blue form of a long haired Jedi, who had died a long, long time ago…