#Meam Rhua

[haila-wetyios]

Intervention

The several advantages of one of the man made highest spots in Eastern La Noscea is that you can see who else is trying to make the trek upwards.

The disadvantage for this particular advantage shows itself when you've been camping in one of the closest spots to the sun in Eastern La Noscea for several days without end.

Whether it be a mercy or a bane, Haila is silently grateful that her trek up this tower was not witnessed by many if at all. She'd done it before after all. She knew each step and structure long before they'd added several different ways instead of the old paths that defied the laws of physics. But that didn't save her from needing to relearn how far she had to jump certain places.

But she wasn't here to reminisce or bask in the fact that even while settling into her 'oh im old' role better as of late, that she could still in fact climb to the top of the tower built for Moonfire Faerie no.

Her main goal was Rhua.

Because by now she'd waited long enough. Sent several supplies, blankets, even food up here and despite a raging fever and sunburns, Rhua still refused to come down. Honestly this had already crossed the line of a child refusing to do so.

Which meant it was time for Haila to finally put her damn foot down. And a conversation through a linkpearl would not do at all. She had to face Rhua, even if that had meant several bruises to get to the top.

She'd already been lenient enough. And by now she could no longer look the other way in her daughter's path to self destruction.

"Hey." she told the Viera from behind her, arms crossed, her old swimsuit still fitting, the large scar on her right leg glistening under the sun.

Rhua's ears merely twitched some, she was still crouched on the plank facing towards the bomb themed platform one was meant to jump towards. But alas, she didn't respond much despite her flushed cheeks and the several empty cans of food surrounding her. She'd clearly heard her mother, but her wish to stay was still there despite everything.

The sight was both sad and, honestly disappointing. But Haila had never been one to say such to her own children. What did elicit out of her though, was a deep sigh.

"You know, you're rather old to be doing this now." Haila said, her voice firm. Which only earned a scoff from Rhua as she continued to stare off at the sunset.

She was doing well hiding the dehydration. But even she had to admit her body was reaching it's limit after being up here for so long.

"You always say that. But you know both me and Rhea will likely have at least half of Viera years..." Rhua said, briefly peeking back at her mother before she looked away again. She didn't have the stamina to play pretend face to face.

"Give us some slack. I don't even look as old as the people that grew up with me back home." Which was in fact true, except Rhua had never bothered to use this particular point in an argument. But bringing it up now was a good reminder of something that had been laying there in the back of her head. Whether it was something to worry or accept though, had yet to be seen.

With silence filling the space between them, Haila caved with a sigh as she walked over to her daughter and hugged her from behind. Rhua was truly burning up, some skin was peeling off her shoulders from the constant sun. No amount of lotions or umbrellas could keep her safe if she'd chosen to stay up here this long.

Haila was tired. Just truly tired of everything. Bureaucracy juggling, security assignments, babysitting reckless fools, and all of that on top of trying her best to be around her children. And now Rhua had happened.

Her daughter had never been a burden. And still wasn't. Everything else but her family was a burden. But sailing the line between mother overbearing a middle ages daughter and a mother needing to care for her offspring when necessary was always a tricky business.

Rhua was no different. She too was exhausted. Of everything really.

It was the broken heart. The loneliness. The stupid unresolved threads. And the fact that the fireworks weren't doing their job anymore. In her own sad way she'd thought she'd taken control by staying in a place that not many would reach easily.

The worst part was that it had worked for a time.

But now she was at her limit. Staying wasn't going to resolve anything. It didn't help that La Noscea had a rampant problem of sudden rainstorms in the middle of the night.

"You need to stop getting into fights Rhua.." Haila finally whispered to her. Which only caused Rhua to haggardly chuckle at that.

"Now you're assuming things and asking me directly about it?" she asked, finally peeking over her shoulder at her mother. "You got the wrong idea... This... isn't...fighting.." she said, her voice dying out near the end. It was clear there was more than that hiding in this sudden tantrum of staying in a high place. And she lacked the ability to express it in it's easiest way.

Crying.

"Aye aye..." Haila whispered, not letting her hold of Rhua soften at all. Though to be fair, she was being rather gentle considering the several sunburns that Rhua was sporting. "I know you don't want me butting into your personal life. But I can't watch you keep doing this to yourself Rhua. You're self destructing yourself more than even I have done. Please... Just stop and come down. I know you're very sick by now because of this stunt."

Whether it was because this was Rhua's tipping point or not. She couldn't stop herself. Despite the lack of tears, she kept sobbing some like a little kid that needed comfort. Again.

When this happened she always felt powerless. But what was she supposed to do? She had nothing to keep her from thinking back on the things haunting her. She knew what entailed now that her mother was here. She'd be dragged back into the household. She'd probably be monitored. Maybe made to watch the kids again.

None of this was a burden really. The children hadn't done anything wrong. Her mother hadn't done anything wrong.

Rhua was the burden.

And she didn't know how to stop. Turns out work really had been the only reason she had to keep herself busy. But busy from what? Life? And now she didn't know how to live one in freedom or peace.

A mildly traumatizing childhood in Norvrandt, two eldritch encounters and then an entire near machine war sort of did that to you.

And even those were better than the simple things. Except it was that. The simple, small things that always kept Rhua running were mostly gone. Or at least gone from routines that didn't demand she deal with the trouble that meant being with a family that had done nothing wrong to her yet still keeping a certain distance.

Honestly what should Haila do like this? Unaware of most of the things Rhua wouldn't vocalize? Not that she didn't have an inkling. She always blamed herself for this. For her daughter being stuck in a place where she couldn't come back from. And it wasn't this tower in particular that she was thinking of.

No, it was the fact that despite everything she'd tried. She'd failed. Failed Rhua, Rhea, and Rutla. Either by not saving them, or merely by existing, dragging them into situations and trouble no one should have to deal with.

Not this time. She was here. Perhaps Rhua would never tell her exactly what had happened to her. Or disclose any feelings that had a chance of being known by anyone other than herself. But being here is all her daughter needed. And that was enough. At least for now.

Between quiet half sobs and waiting for the fireworks to start, Rhua finally relented as she raised a hand to hold her mother's. Her ears were slightly singed and swollen, her hair mostly matter, and her swimsuit not exactly clean by now. But she shouldn't be here any longer.

Just how many fireworks shows had she recorded by now anyway? Enough to last a lifetime? Certainly not. But enough for variety when she wouldn't be able to see them? Yes.

"Ok... I'll.. I'll just lay down once we're back. I'll rest." Rhua finally said with a slow nod as her gaze refused to meet her mothers. She knew she'd been in the wrong anyways.

What was there to fight about? That she'd done something stupid on a whim after having actively tried to go outside and distract herself?

That was already proof that she really was a hot mess. Though perhaps... She would be reminded how that ran in the family. Because as soon as Haila checked on Rhua's temperature, her breathing and her overall physical state, she sighed in relief.

"You'll be bedridden for a time. You know well what this means for your visits. But the fastest way to get you down from her is still feasible. And I'm glad about that." Haila said with some relief as she prepared herself.

"What do you mea-"

And then and there, Haila merely took a quick breath and. Without much further ado, yanked Rhua by her attire so hard that she tossed her off the lookout plank.

This had been the main reason she'd climbed. Getting Rhua down in this state would be harder than jumping off after all. Though not the best solution to the rather loud scream Rhua let out as she was caught. The reassurance was there once the people waiting for her all the way down let Haila know that they'd managed to catch her in the landing pad.

Now the main problem remained, getting Rhua to a chirurgeon and helping her heal somehow. It might or might not work. But Haila couldn't stand aside any longer. She'd watched enough.

[daughter-of-fire-and-dreams]

Somewhere deep in a memory, the kind of view you'd only remember.

[sergiusreports]

For Old Time's Sake

For a voidsent, Zilmat talked a lot. For anybody, Zilmat talked a lot and Sergius couldn’t decide if he was making up for lost time, had a quota to fill, or just had grown comfortable enough with his presence. Rising had stuck the nervous creature in the library because he had kept Jackal’s own collection of tomes in order and with that no longer an option, due to the man’s untimely death, she had brought him to Heartwood because she felt sorry for him. Or had inherited him. Sergius wasn’t quite sure. What he did know, because Rising had tasked him with the duty, was that he was supposed to keep an eye on the small voidsent and keep him out of trouble. 

So far, all Zilmat wanted to do was read, tell Sergius about what he read, and put the shelves in order according to his own cataloging system. A project Sergius was currently helping with because, what the hell else was he going to do? 

While Zilmat continued rehashing the latest book he’d read, Sergius backburned his main audio feed and played Rhua’s recent message through his system again. 

"Hey…Fireworks just went off near my apartment balcony. So I guess... it's beach season again right?...Would...Would you like to gather up and watch one of the night's fireworks? Just for old time's sake. It's... Well. It's fine if you're still busy. Well... Uhh... Good luck with work if it was too much."

He’d already listened to the message more than he’d ever admit to, had sifted through the audio channels and deciphered every shift in Rhua’s tone, every blank space and if Sergius had to point to a picture to describe how he felt after each listen, he’d pick a wet blanket, crumpled on the floor. 

“You’re not listening.” Zilmat had caught on. 

Sergius didn’t bother to reply. 

“You’re doing that thing where you tune me out.” He sighed, his enthusiasm draining from his rotund body. 

Just to be an ass, Sergius recited the last (lengthy) set of sentences the voidsent had uttered. It wasn’t that he wasn’t listening, it was that he didn’t care. Which, he learned, was not something you said aloud. Even to a small voidsent. Even if it was true. Which seemed stupid to him, everyone going around lying to each other half the time, feigning interest where it didn’t exist but apparently that was what passed as acceptable social interaction.

Zilmat, however, took his dry recitation as permission to continue and from one of his drone feeds Sergius watched the creature’s little wings flit in excitement. 

“Ah! Yes! S-so then we come to the crux of the story’s dilemma, which is…”

Maybe Sergius should share Rhua's voice recording with Zilmat, get his opinion, and get a real case of the blind leading the fucking blind going. Maybe he should also just stick his hand in a live electrical current. Both ideas held the same amount of merit.

The problem with Rhua’s prior admission, the thing that had sent him all but running back to Heartwood like the star’s greatest coward, wasn’t Rhua at all. 

It was that all he could think of, all he could see was Lucian, framed against the halo of rooftop lights and swirling snowflakes, a look of disappointment stamped across his face as he teetered on the ledge, the cusp of the moment right before he tipped back and let himself go over the edge.  

“I think I owe you an apology. I’m sorry, Sergius. I’m sorry I ever created you. You were a mistake.”

As far as final words went, they were as messy and obliterating as a hollowpoint round. 

Because he didn’t say it was the act of creation that was a mistake or even that Lucian himself was to blame. No. It was him. Sergius. He was the mistake. He was the problem. He was the thing to regret.

And it wasn’t as though Lucian was wrong. Scrolling back through his logs was like looking through a greatest hits collection of the variety of ways Sergius fucked things up. Losing Lucian was just the biggest one and after the resulting cascading systems failure Sergius experienced, it was just one shining example after another that had led him here. Standing in Heartwood’s library, staring at the reorganized shelves, playing nanny to Jackal’s book-loving voidsent because the creature made some members of the company uncomfortable. Welcome to the club. 

Point being, he had hard evidence that he was neither equipped or capable to handle any interaction messier than the basics required to get a job done.

Obviously, he couldn’t accept Rhua’s invite. He had screwed that up enough and he could never be what she wanted him to be. She didn’t get that yet but she would. Better to rip that bandage off now. While Zilmat excitedly chatted on, he recorded a reply:

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. They have me on babysitting detail. I hope you manage to get a good seat for the fireworks.” 

There were probably several things wrong with his message, dry brevity for one, but analyzing it wasn’t going to make it better. At the very least (and we’re talking lowest bar possible, here), he hadn’t made a pile of sorry excuses. Surprise, surprise, that did nothing to stop him feeling like shit as he sent it out. 

[riylli]

I wanted to try out a lighting trick I learned but didn't have a pose, so I decided to steal from Jojo. This then began my descent into Jojo posing madness. Witness my shame.

[lettersnorth]

The coffee was doing its job, both warming and waking Aislinn up. She couldn’t be sure how long she’d been at it in the storeroom, but then again, that was always the way of it. Rarely aware of her own physical needs until something pulled her from her work and she came up for air.

"How bad was his state?" Rhua asked out of the blue, glancing in Aislinn's direction. "You mentioned you could fix his damage, but. You're here right now." something she'd caught onto. And a reason to blame herself if she'd been a distraction from the urgency it carried.

Aislinn shifted a bit, like the weight on her shoulders had resettled and she was trying to make it somewhat bearable. “He’s a bit banged up.” It’s non-committal while still committing to the idea that things weren’t great. “Locomotion’s off, pieces of the tissue shell missing but it had already deployed a sealant to stop fluid leak. The repair unit should jump-start the tech in the tissue to start filling back in. Don’t ask me what’s in it. There’s a lot about the how and why of the design I don’t know. As far as internal workings, I won’t know until I let the diagnostics run. I like to do that before I go cracking him open.” She pushed off the table edge and held back from scrubbing a hand over her face. Instead, she gave Rhua her best calm and measured look. “But aye, I should get back and see how DOT’s getting on. I’ll keep you updated.”

After a beat, Aislinn spoke again, her voice gentling, "Most everything can be fixed, Rhua. Sergius made it in here on his own two feet. Just takes some patience and time." Probably. Maybe. She didn’t add that part. It looked like Rhua didn’t need Aislinn to share her self-doubt. She needed her to be the capable tech-wizard that could fix anything.

Rhua was silent for a time. She knew Aislinn was right. She was still mortified at the fact he'd made it back and she hadn't noticed until the drone gave her one of the handful of frights of her life. One part of her thought it had just been that bad, and worrying her wouldn't do anything. The other also thought it was that bad, that he hadn't had even the chance to send any pings. Neither really left room for hopeful thinking, like giving him a light scolding, joking about suplexing him halfway into the snow if he did something like that again, or being able to laugh it off if at all. "Bionics or any tech reminiscent of an organic being is not my specialty." she started, opting to still leave the offer open. "But. If there's anything I can do to help. .. Please, let me know.." a small plea really.

There was already too much on her plate, Jackal's presence had amped everything by keeping her on eternal edge. But even then, she couldn't just focus on work completely and wait for Sergius to be fixed just like that. "I. .. have many things I still need to do. Town's barely learning how to function without machines. But I'll still do what I can to go see him. 'Tis the least I could do even if he complains later about efficiency."

Aislinn hummed in the back of her throat. “Knowing Sergius, he probably would, too.” She agreed. “Town’s got to be putting a lot on you but aye, if I need a hand, I’ll check with you first.” She nodded. “But, remember. Eat. Sleep…” She trails off and ends up just shaking her head. “I can’t even say that with a straight face. Feel too much like a hypocrite. Right. Back to it.” She offered Rhua one last reassuring nod of her head before she headed out.

Rhua could only nod slowly as she offered a polite nod. She doubted she'd sleep until she collapsed, Aislinn was right. But at least there were two hypocrites in on this. As much as not going right away settled horribly with Rhua, she could trust Aislinn enough to try and help her friend. Heh. That label feels off. She wasn't exactly used to calling anyone that after all. But... It was back to work. She knew she'd at least make sure Aislinn had something to eat before showing up some time later.

[art-by-hels]

[the-other-blue]

#9 Fair

Do you know sis? The origin behind our names?

It was meant to be an act of mercy, an attempt at forgiveness from mom towards one of the people that ruined her life. 

But I’ve always felt it wasn’t exactly a successful attempt. 

I can’t help but feel that any time she utters our name, there’s a low cursing at the word play she did, and that dad is the only one holding her back from hating it. 

The deadbeat was called Rhae Bhowsu, ironic how fate made it so that you tried to protect her and her idiot bunch. Can’t help but feel slightly bad about her though, understanding someone’s background gives you a better feel of what shaped them, and she just had a bad hand dealt on early on. 

Wasn’t really her fault that her big brother would adapt better to the city, find a job and stay out of trouble, even fall in love outside of his clan. What she could be blamed for though, was getting herself down a shitty path. I can’t really speak for how a sibling should be versus the other one, but then again… Your name might be a wordplay out of love, and mine was the only shitty one out of hate. 

Rhae Bhowsu. Rhea Amatus. 

Meam Rhua. Ruah’a Bhowsu. 

I envy you. Being the center of love. I pity you a bit to be honest, because even with all that love, you were never the closest confidante of mom. Was she protecting you? I know the answer. Not really. 

It’s a frustrated side of me doing the talking. The one that thinks this isn’t fair. That I’m the ‘blessed’ one. You’re the loved one. I’m the trusted one. You’re the sheltered one. 

It’s such a shitty dichotomy. That we were both given something that was supposed to be meaningful for our caretakers, and we turned out so abysmally different in our upbringing. 

Why was I the one with the shitty reminder of a sibling killer? Why am I the only one that can see shit that separates me from the rest? 

I don’t hate you sis. And my standing for mom is still a can of worms despite how much our relationship has improved. I’m pissed off, just like you. But also not sure where to go. 

Believe it or not, I used to be even more pissed off than I am now. If anything, I might as well be an ice cube now, while you’re intent on burning yourself out. That’s all there is to it. 

[haila-wetyios]

#1 Steer

It was always nostalgic to walk these old worn out halls. Or rather, not too worn out by current standards. But the smell of sea breeze gnawing on the building’s wood inside was always rather distinct. Not that Haila was too sure that it used to smell like that even when it was a relatively new building. 

Apartment #8 had always been one of the newest ones in the first floor area of the large circular building that faced the Mist housing area. Just securing the small place (or at least small compared to the current house her family currently lived in) back then had been such a feat that it baffled Haila that Alexander had never asked her for the half of the money he’d lent her back. But then again, that idiot was still drowning in all the payment envelopes and royalties he kept making from his extremely detailed maps from Dravania. Not to mention the new venture both himself and Rhea had delved into for Othard’s mapping areas as well… 

It was a relief in one way really. That Rhea wasn’t off causing trouble. Haila could only handle the current three doing that. But even then, she knew her son too was aimless in a way in the same manner that Rhua currently was. He just wasn’t as troubled as she was. 

The only problem now was where to gently steer Rhua…

Even while walking through the hallways, thinking it over, visiting, visiting close friends, or being there often as a caretaker, Haila still hadn’t figured a healthy way for her daughter to recover from… Whatever it was that was plaguing her mind. 

Well. Haila actually knew a good bit about it. But out of respect for her private life, she’d kept quiet. She would be ashamed if she as a mother didn’t at least have a good inkling of what was wrong with her own daughter. But it didn’t make it any easier. 

She’d deprived someone who’d chosen a normal life of their own volition, and now they couldn’t go back to it even if the research project to send Rhua back home ever bore fruit. But moping about it wasn’t going to bring any answers. Now was the time to focus on the present, which is what Haila did as she stood before the entrance door towards the apartment. 

The built in scans were subtle, hidden well enough that the place wouldn’t draw the attention of the other neighbors around the hallway. 

“Who’s this?” asked a tiny voice from the other side. 

Ah, Rohmio was doing his tasks quite well, even if he was just trying to peek through a door hole that was too tall for him. Someday he would, but that was many years away from being possible. 

“‘Tis mom.” Haila reassured after doing a pattern knock a bit too late, though it was one that her son would easily recognize. She wouldn’t hold off from any possible security measures after all. And she had partly tested him by letting him do half the work, she already had the security keys herself as she inserted them into the doorknob. 

Her son let out an excited yelp as she came inside, a mini tackle hug sweeping Haila off balance briefly before she managed to not fall down. Gods he was getting bigger each day. 

“Aye, aye. I’m here. How’s our crewmate?” Haila asked. Playing into the little game she’d designed to keep Rohmio entertained in this reverse adult sitting. 

Rohmio caught on right away, and immediately righted himself back. His arm raising for a salute that was a tad too formal for the ship crew he was supposed to be representing. 

“Our crewumate has kept the decks clean!” Rhua hasn’t barfed again. 

“I’ve set the sails too!” He’d moved the curtains out to keep the sun from frying Rhua’s eyes. 

“All’s ready for you to take the helm!” It’s time for Rohmio to go back being a kid and let his mother take over. 

Haila chuckled, gently brushing the hear atop her son’s head as she nodded. 

“Aye. The captain is pleased, you may now go back to the other ship.” she told him. She needed a second to realize that he’d also kept a hand up expectantly, one that she slapped slightly as he ran off into the hallways after a single yell of “Tag!”. 

Oh how she loved that he could still remain so jovial despite the gloomy place he’d been cooped up into for the past several hours. 

Haila took a deep breath as she stepped inside, the door closing itself behind her. The curtains weren’t exactly keeping the small apartment in the darkness, if they did, then it probably wouldn’t help Rhua once she could sit up on her own. 

Wordlessly, Haila paced past a few toys and trousers that had been left on the ground. The laundry baskets were thankfully empty. A good sign really. That meant Luma had also swung by to assist with anything he could. Which left her now to pick up the rest and steer Rhua as planned. 

She grabbed a nearby chair as quietly as she could as she put it beside the bed where just two floppy ears were poking out of a burrito of blankets. All half soaked, which was a good thing. Not the best when it came to smells, but at least the sweat meant Rhua was finally getting through the worst of the fever. 

The Viera stirred some beneath the covers. For someone who usually preferred to be alone, the fact that there was a single strand of her hair poking out among the rest of the tangle that seemed to be half braided meant that she’d still entertained her baby brother watching over her. Whether she’d entertain her mother though, was a different question as she muttered incomprehensible words at the sight of Haila sitting by her side. 

“Are you done now?” Haila asked, giving Rhua a few moments to stir enough to escape from the upper side of her confines to face her. There was a soaked towel still atop her forehead. Well… Guess the fever wasn’t going to finish letting up any time soon if a semi large towel had been used to try and cool off Rhua’s head. Rohmio had room for improvement, but Haila wouldn’t tell him that yet. He’d done his best. 

Rhua’s response though half delirious, was a slow nod. She’d learned her lesson, and she probably would make sure to never go out during Beach season again. If she was ever still around by then. 

“Good… Once you’re better. We’ll take more thoroughly then.” Haila said with a nod as she reached with a hand to gently trace it over the scarred tissue of the nub of what was left of Rhua’s left arm. 

Ideally she could have said a few things that would remain in her daughter’s subconscious later. But it didn’t feel right this way. She’d face her head on when she was better. Just like Rhua would do if the roles were reversed. This was the best way to change course. The fact that Haila had researched and tried to figure out where that course would be didn’t change much of the possible end results after all. 

[daughter-of-fire-and-dreams]

[daughter-of-fire-and-dreams]

First row seats for the fireworks.

[daughter-of-fire-and-dreams]

For old time's sake

It wasn't the loud bangs right in front of her that drove her out of her stupor. It had, ironically been the damn cat. The purr engine. Or at least that's the name that stuck to whatever cat snuggled up to Rhua. She wasn't even sure if it was the same cat even. But it was still there, nudging her side and meowing loudly at her.

She'd fallen asleep again on a wrong position. Half her body on the floor and the other half leaning against the seat she'd been supposed to use properly and not like a bean bag chair to smother her face against.

The purr engine meowed at her, and Rhua could only sigh while scratching it's head.

"I'm not feeding you. You're not even mine. Go mooch off the neighbors that give you free food, I know there's at least three households that think you're their cat." she told it.

This creature was the only reason she'd sometimes rouse from her staleness of eating what was necessary and staring off into space. A mild nuisance and in that moment several questions finally connected with her head.

How was the damn cat even getting into the apartment? Yes, there was an open balcony but the security systems added to it out of two paranoid minds had been so thorough that even flies got zapped the moment they entered the balcony's perimeter in itself.

And then the distant loud bangs started.

Rhua jumped at first. And the purr engine rushing away, spooked by the sounds as well and disappearing into one of the several piles of laundry.

They'd been fine at first. One of the advantages of the old Rhua, the one that had most of her fire and spunk practically siphoned out of her was that she'd always choose the most efficient ways to go about certain tasks even if they avoided common sense. Two turns to the left, two turns to the right. Eat an engineer ration at 5 and some water and keep going for 7 more hours. Finish tasks #10 through #75 if possible and then start rounds.

An idle apartment was no different. But the tasks weren't even a tenth of what they used to be to keep her busy. Now it was just cook a meal, usually a concoction of whatever was necessary for her body. At one point she'd ended up trying to simply build an energy ration press. But the materials to finish it had been denied by her mother the moment she'd been discovered.

The next task had been merely doing laundry or getting clean and reading books. But even those had grown... Well not grown, but become less of a task to follow. Turns out not having a job that demands your entire life's worth of attention isn't something that Rhua was used to. She'd just taken longer to realize it because of the company she'd had before.

As she directed her gaze to the distant sky, her first realization was that yes, there wasn't a single light on in the entire apartment. But that was usually mitigated by the balcony right in front of her.

Several fireworks were lighting up the sky, making a first row seat show for her and the space she had facing the ocean.

Strange. She never told Sergius that most of the times that she did different routes in the markets or chose things arbitrarily had been to keep the both of them entertained. And then Rhua thought that it was weird that this was the first thing that came to her mind the moment she saw fireworks again.

Had it been that long? Oh. The beach season.

She'd been told about it in what felt like an eternity ago. Spirited waving, teases, and well masked smirk at her lack of knowledge of Eorzean customs back then. Two years maybe?

And then she'd never gotten the chance to see it firsthand. With Garlemald taking over right before the first chance she'd had. And then running off to Kugane the second time it had happened.

At least Kugane had joined in the fireworks then.

Rhua then wondered what she should even do for this beach season. Was it just swimsuits? Sand? Fireworks and ice cream? She couldn't really see herself doing any of it.

Or rather, she didn't even feel she had the energy for it. Such was the bane of barely eating the minimum sustenance and carrying on with basic tasks, maybe be dragged into the family household once or twice a month or week to make sure she was at least within healthy standards. Even the muscles she'd had from tough engineering work had grown soft. And there was little to no reason for her to practice hand to hand combat. Not with her brother somewhere else.

She could say she never really blended well, even with all the support she still had. What then? She wondered as the cat gingerly returned to her heels and started rubbing itself against her ankles.

Rhua sighed, relenting as she picked it up and forced herself to idly walk out into the balcony. She promptly plopped herself down on the nearest chair and discovered cold several days old tea cups. Her old self would scream to get those out of the way or sort them into another carefully tracked mess pile. But she didn't have the energy for that either.

Everything felt wrong and empty. That new job couldn't come any sooner. All that was really left was the fire dances of each cracker and shape flashing into the skies.

Two years since then? And she'd just discovered more new ways to mope. Not even the joke of punching herself to wake out of her stupor even felt funny anymore. She'd even need a new jaw at this point.

And then she felt it. The pressure on her chest. The ache as she stared down at her right hand, then the fireworks, and then her thoughts briefly thinking that it was still beautiful.

Then finally her eyes went red and she immediately stood up shaking her head. No. She wasn't doing this again. Laying down on the floor and watching the hours pass was on the table. But not this. Not even if her body couldn't do it anymore without assistance.

She paced anxiously. Decades of living alone despite having family and dedicating herself to working. Heck, even setting enough spare time to work on that old broken engine whenever she could.

How did being free of all that just do her in so easily? Being alone had always been fine--

It was the damn fireworks. She decided that on the spot. And then a few realizations came to her mind as she sighed loudly.

Rhua shouldn't. She wasn't daft about people's emotions or reactions even if she'd played pretend more than once. But a faint hope still refused to go away inside her. That a different outcome to an inane idea could still happen. This someone wasn't even flesh to begin with. What did she know about emotions and reactions from a face that barely changed expressions anyway?

Shit, this was stupid. Like a teenager. Well, she didn't get to go through that when she was younger. Probably that was why. Or maybe she just hoped nothing had changed despite the obviousness of it.

Which is why very reluctantly and carefully, she paced through the apartment to the workdesk and it's portable terminal. A direct connection wasn't something she could pull off. Not when she looked like her hair was an untamable mess and her tank top had stains with stains in them. And most of all, not with her eyes growing red and puffy.

A simple voice message was all Rhua settled for. Her finger hovering over the record button as she took a deep breath, rehearsing her voice to try and at least make it sound 'normal', or as much as she could muster after practicing so many times to pretend everything was fine whenever fer mother called.

"Hey.." she managed to say. Her voice still downtrodden, but at least hanging in there. Or at leas that's the presentation she hoped she was giving away.

"Fireworks just went off near my apartment balcony. So I guess... it's beach season again right?" she asked, knowing fully well the holiday had a name. But she'd always consciously made sure to just not remember them. But hearing it now, it sounded very, very lame.

"...Would..." she sighed, pausing as her finger left the button for a second, then resumed. "Would you like to gather up and watch one of the night's fireworks? Just for old time's sake. It's... Well. It's fine if you're still busy. Well... Uhh... Goodluck with work if it was too much."

Did people even say 'goodluck with work' in this day and age as a sign off? Rhua wasn't exactly sure, this was uncharted territory for her, and one part of her at least would have several words about the withdrawn persona she was showing for someone she cared about. This was stupid, but she couldn't exactly rip off the blues right out of her chest.

She knew because she would have done so literally if she could. But with no other options left. She made sure to not listen to the recording as she tapped in the terminal Sergius as the end destination for the message and hit send.

[daughter-of-fire-and-dreams]

Vierapril Day 5

Colors

[daughter-of-fire-and-dreams]

Kugane life 1/3

[daughter-of-fire-and-dreams]

Guess who drew yet another version of Rhua that no one gets to see ICly so far

[daughter-of-fire-and-dreams]

Stasis pond

It is another day. 

Quite a day. 

Nothing but a day. 

But it feels wrong, empty. 

For the last three days or so before it’s time to move, Rhua just.. Exists. 

Books have been read (they didn’t help). 

Trinkets meddled with (they’re too simple, and she lacks materials to make something better than a fancy fidget spinner). 

Even the damn job to make a catapult good enough to throw her brother over the Ruby Sea didn’t need any more tweaking on her part. And most of all, that involved going outside. She didn’t feel a need to go outside anymore. A stark difference from the past months in which she’d happily take a stroll or find different spots to idle around. The small apartment in Kugane had felt confining back then. But now? It was like a stagnant pond. And Rhua was just a piece of waterweed that lay within, and a withered one at that. 

She moped. 

And then she moped. 

And just for good measure, she’d moped again. 

Her muscles were going soft, laying on the ground for most of the day. Her head sometimes hurt from the average span of hours that it’s only support would be a worn out tatami. And if it wasn’t because her instruments had been neatly packed into a box already, they probably would be full of cobwebs or dust by now. 

A week. 

That had been the expected downtime before it was time for a good full body exhaustion of a long range teleport. 

Rhua couldn’t say she’d been looking forward to it. But she was willing to take that any day over leaving her name on papers depicting where she was traveling to. Better to keep her tracks all pointing to Kugane while possible. Though of course, the sour memory of her stupidity the last time she’d actually teleported might as well still be fresh despite the year she’d had to let her head cool off from her utter fuck up. 

Was she even being monitored by what she couldn’t predict? She didn’t know. She didn’t care. One single slip and she might as well go back to fucking up again. An extra concentrated ether from the special stash her mother kept sending over would do. 

Well, that and a heavily monitored area the moment she knew she would almost collapse in Vylbrand’s aetheryte plaza when she was done. God, she really hoped everything would go as discreetly as it had been planned. Maybe they’d pretend to ship her off to Sharlayan right then and there. It would be on track with her mother’s records of where she kept being sent for ‘further examinations’. 

But she knew the real deal. Her mother was the only individual that she knew could teleport to the equivalent of a needle in a haystack from the sheer size of the aetherytes she used even for long range trips. One zip, one zap and she’d probably be drinking tea with scholars and still be beside her baby siblings in the next minute away from prying eyes. 

Not that it was her business, but Rhua did think that was unfair. 

Fucking genius. Why hadn’t she turned out like that?

No. It was better to not think that way. It was worse to grow up as a kid under a parent’s shadow (she was a fucking adult though, and what one should consider a middle aged one at that by now). 

She was engineer Rhua, and that was it. 

Or at least… That’s how it was supposed to be. 

Not waterweed Rhua, staring blankly at a ceiling on hour 10 and counting. 

Food was the only time she’d not skipped, it felt way worse to skip on meals with no one to chastise her for it. And she found huge irony in it. The lack of strength to do much of her routine other than whatever was necessary for self preservation. 

In a way, a nagging feeling kept nipping at the back of her mind. 

That this was the state that which had hurt her would rejoice in. And at some point, it pissed her off enough to at least push herself off the ground. Though by then, the sun had already gone down. This goddamn week might as well have been purgatory in eternity. 

She sighed, feeling as if her body was made of lead as she dragged herself around the apartment to take a spot beside the half open window.

Fireflies adorned the outside yard. The moon was already visible. And there was a sore lack of a looming presence over her shoulder (ironic how no one but her probably found that comforting). 

Not even the starry sky was enough to draw Rhua out of her stupor to at least dust off her pocket telescope and watch it. She didn’t even know where it was anymore anyway- No. That was a lie. Box #3 on the stack on the left, the one labeled ‘personal interests’. 

She let out a drawn out sigh, the night was too warm. She could at least revel in the lack of a cold touch. But the fact of the matter remained the same. She was here. Alone. 

“For fuck’s sake Rhua. You were made sturdier than this.” she mumbled under her breath to no one in particular. No one could chastise her better than she did herself after all. 

Slowly, she raised her right knuckles and gently pressed them against her cheek like she’d done in Garlemald a few times. Maybe a good punch to the face was what she needed to snap out of it. 

But she knew what was happening. 

Grow comfortable for a time, and you’ll miss it once you lose it. Did she lose it? She didn’t really know. 

Maybe in 100 years she’d confirm whether her hunch had been right. 

Would she still be there to hear an answer in that amount of time?...

[daughter-of-fire-and-dreams]

In spirit of Valentione's