#Me with the whole deck: 😎 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

waynes-multiverse · 1 month ago

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I was soooooooo excited for this! *breathes in sharply* Okay let's get started 🍿😎👏

“You have my blessing,” she said. “All I ask is that you don’t scar me with any gushy details afterward.”

I love their friendship so much 😂 And kudos to Dory. It takes a lot to agree to this. It could potentially get very awkward 😝

“You know, it’s been about twenty years since I’ve seen him,” she said. “We’ve had entire lives already. I see him now, and there’s some of the Russell I knew when we were kids, but…there’s just a lot I don’t know about him, who he’s become.”

God, I know. This is honestly what I think about the most when I watch Tracker. The whole story line is insane and intriguing and... 😅 I have a thousand questions, and there's so much you could do with it in fics. I love it (clearly) 😂🤍

Dory’s face tightened. “It’s a long story. I’ve told you some of it. But basically, after our dad died, nothing was ever the same again.”

I do think Russell knows a lot more about their past than he lets on. Also, he was way too chipper for someone who was accused of patricide by his own brother for twenty years. The dynamic between the brothers is just... interesting 👀

Barely a date, you reminded yourself, as you unlocked the door to your house. Barely a date, barely a date.

Right... 😆

“You’re a grown fucking man, Charlie! Do you really need me to give you the just say no speech?” you said.

Oh, she's going full Reagan! 😂 I sense some trouble coming from the brother, though...

“Yeah well, maybe just for one night, I wanted to relax without you harping on my back,” he said, glaring up at you. “Is that too much to fucking ask? For you to give me some goddamn slack?”

Well, I hope he already picked out his casket... 🙈💀

“Hey, there.” He greeted you with a warm hand on your back. He helped you into your seat.

I'd be a puddle before I even made it to the damn seat 🫠

And they are literally so cute together! I'm full on swooning over here 😍

Russell nodded. He wasn’t sure how much Dory told you about their family business, but it dimmed his mood.

Ah, yes, the family business. Love that sublte hint 😆 Would be a good name for a brewery, tho 👍

He was starting to get a clearer picture of who your brother was. It struck at familiar chords inside himself that he wasn’t so comfortable with. He shifted in his seat, fingers flexing over his glass on the counter.

I like that you emphasized the darker parts of his life. Like I said, I don't buy his whole "I'm happy and funny and quirky" act. There's a lot more stirring beneath the charming surface 😅 (Another thing he has in common with Dean lol)

And oh, don't we love a good cry on the first date? Poor thing 😂🤍

“You gotta understand that me, my brother, my sister, we didn’t grow up like a normal family,” he said. “Yeah, I know,” you nodded. “Dory’s told me some of it. It sounded…rustic.” He snorted. “Putting it mildly.”

Indeed 😂 I would've loved to be a fly on the wall when Dory had this conversation with her lol

How he very eloquently avoided talking about Colter accusing him of murdering their father. I wanna be a fly on the wall for that future convo too 🤣

And he slapped you right on the ass.

Loved that she got a punch in before even Russell got there. He might have actually killed that pig lmao

“Aw, it doesn’t look as bad as all that. But can I see?” he asked. You allowed him to take your smaller hand in his. Your knuckles were red and tender to the touch when he gently pressed. You hissed in pain.

I'm having vivid flashbacks to Smoke Eater 🥵🔥

But his hands were gentle for you.

This line just about killed me... 🫠🫠🫠

“Three balls, huh?” you said slyly, and maybe, a little tipsy. “Might wanna get that looked at.”

I appreciate that kind of humor 😂😂

“Now, if I go in for a kiss goodnight, are you gonna deck me?” he asked, with a teasing glint in his eyes.

I absolutely can see him saying that 💯😂

He found no other recourse but to back you up against the side of his car.

Probably one of my favorite scenes is when characters are so hot for each other they lean against a car. There's just something so incredibly passionate about it 🔥🫠

“I’m staying at a motel, if you wanna…” he said, between kisses.

Oh, Russell, this is not what the lady wants to hear. Bless him tho 😂

And I figured she wanted more than a one-night-stand or fling. His job and lifestyle truly is a bit of a problem. But he wanted out anyways, so... 🤞

I loved their first date! 😍🤍 Hopefully, they'll see each other again soon and might give this another shot. I have a feeling it's gonna involve her brother's bullshit somehow 😅

Every Second Counts - Part 1

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the first one you trust to help you find him.

AN: Finally, here we are at Part 1! Remember that A Line and a Half functions as our prologue here.

Word Count: 5.7K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only for some mature thoughts. Fluff, angst and hurt/comfort, drug use, mentions of drug addiction and alcoholism, skeevy men, and a tinge of spice.~

💜 Series Masterlist

Part 1: "Permission Granted"

“Are you absolutely sure?” you asked, with your hands on your hips.

You wanted no miscommunication here, no read-between-the-lines mishaps, no subtext or nuance to bite you in the ass later. So here you stood in the middle of your best friend’s office, still at the Wyoming University campus after your last class.

Dory had to laugh at you. She pushed away from her desk and threw her hands up.

“Yes, for the love of God, you can grab a drink with my brother,” she said.

After brushing a lock of blonde hair behind her ear, she went to you and set her hands on your shoulders.

“You have my blessing,” she said. “All I ask is that you don’t scar me with any gushy details afterward.”

Your face began to heat up in a blush. You crossed your arms.

“All right, no one said there was going to be any of that,” you replied. “It’s just a date. Barely a date, mind you.”

“A-huh,” Dory said with a sneaking smile. “Out of curiosity, what was it about him that hooked you? You’ve been dodging Chris’s valiant attempts for like a month now.”

Chris was a French and Spanish professor. His office was on the same floor as yours, so you two occasionally crossed paths whenever you ventured into the teacher’s lounge.

He usually caught you in the morning while you were grabbing your free coffee fix at the Keurig. He’d chat you up about his classes and his dog and his new boat, and all the while you’d struggle to get a word in edgewise. Despite that, he was good-looking and pleasant, for the most part. It was just…

“I don’t know. He’s not my type, I guess,” you shrugged. You kind of liked conversations where both people got to speak.

“And Russell is?” Dory said, in a teasing tone. You chewed the inside of your lip, fighting a smile.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “Kind of want to find out though.”

“Okay, well, let me know what you find,” Dory said, more wryly. You caught a bit of melancholy when her gaze drifted off. Your brows furrowed in concern as you drew closer, setting a hand on her arm.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

She was hesitant, but she eventually answered you with a confession.

You could understand that. You squeezed her arm in sympathy.

“Well, he really seems to want to know you now,” you said. You remembered all the questions he asked you when he helped you carry your files back to your office after lunch today—most of them about Dory, about her career, your friendship, and ultimately, if she was happy.

“What happened to you guys?” you asked. “Why are you all so distant? Colter included.”

Dory’s face tightened. “It’s a long story. I’ve told you some of it. But basically, after our dad died, nothing was ever the same again.”

You dimmed at that. You knew their mother still lived in the cabin they grew up in, but Dory had never quite been able to tell you what happened to their dad. You’d never pushed the subject. You knew better than anyone what kind of pain that was.

“I just wish we’d been able to stay with each other. Me and my brothers, at least,” Dory said. But she adopted a smile for you, before she returned to her desk.

“Okay. Go on your non-date at your favorite bar with Russell. I’ll be here, grading papers until Judgment Day,” she said, with a small laugh that felt like a coverup for thoughts she no longer wanted to think about.

You let her do it. You grabbed your purse and work bag off the spare chair in front of her desk.

“So you’re sure,” you wanted to confirm. “One last chance for me to tell him I came down with food poisoning.”

Dory collected her stack of midterm papers and gave you a cheeky look that said, class dismissed. Then she clicked her red pen and pointedly looked down at the first batch of papers to read through.

You smiled. Okay, you thought, giving her a little wave goodbye when you turned to leave. You had just a couple of hours to drive home and get ready to meet Russell.

“Goodnight,” you called.

“Goodniiight,” Dory replied.

You heard the smirk in her voice without even having to look back.

After fighting through rush hour traffic, you were exhausted when you got home from work. Your tentative excitement and nerves about tonight gave you some new energy though, even if you thought those nerves were silly to have.

Barely a date, you reminded yourself, as you unlocked the door to your house. Barely a date, barely a date.

The Ring Camera beside the door chimed when you entered the house, signaling your arrival. You had to wrinkle your nose at the dank-ass smell that greeted you.

Frowning in annoyance, you dropped your stuff on the kitchen table for now and shucked off your heels. You made a beeline down the hall, to the bedroom that lied across from yours. You pushed it open without knocking. There you caught your older brother, Charlie, snoozing in his bed with the covers half pooling on the floor.

His room was a mess, as usual. Your gaze locked on the evidence of half a blunt on his nightstand and two smoked roaches beside it. You were glad it wasn’t remnants of white lines of powder, like times before, but there was also a large bottle of whiskey. It was almost empty, and hanging loosely from his hand.

He managed to raise his head a bit when you came in.

“Hey,” he said, blinking bleary eyes. He cleared his throat and tried to sit up.

You shook your head and picked around piles of dirty clothes and a couple of used paper plates on the floor. You swiftly grabbed the bottle from his hand and slammed it on the nightstand.

“You promised me, Charlie,” you snapped. “You promised me for the hundredth time that you’d quit all this shit. Where even were you last night? You weren’t home when I left for work this morning.”

He sighed, frowning at how loud you were, and sat up in bed. He swung his legs over the side and held his swimming head in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees. He ran a hand through his hair. It was nearly black, like Dad’s had been, but he’d inherited Mom’s lighter eyes.

“I got invited to a party,” he said. “I’m sorry, I know. This is the last time.”

You expelled a frustrated breath and shook your head.

“You’re a grown fucking man, Charlie! Do you really need me to give you the just say no speech?” you said.

“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know how many times I can say it,” he said. He shut his eyes tight, probably trying to fend off a headache.

Good, you thought. Let that be a reminder of how bad he’d screwed up again.

“And while we’re at it, what about your half of the bills? You’re a week late,” you said, testily crossing your arms.

“Yeah, I’m a little behind,” he said. Once again, he cleared his throat past a wad of phlegm. He was still a bit crossfaded too, you could tell. “You know they cut my hours to part-time at the museum. I’ve, uh, I’ve been looking into getting another job—”

“I already paid the phone bill. And the internet, the water bill, the electricity,” you said. “The house may be paid off, but the least you can do is pay your half of living here.”

The longer you stared at him, seeing the guilt hidden behind drunken eyes, you realized he wasn’t just late on his half of the bills.

“How much?” you asked.

He frowned up at you. “What?”

“How much do you owe?” you said. Your voice was as cutting as your gaze. Charlie lowered his.

“It’s okay, don’t worry—”

“How much,” you pressed.

He looked up at you again, this time with pursed lips. After a beat, he sighed and gave in.

“About two grand,” he admitted.

You raised your eyes heavenward, muttering a curse. Your hands went to your temples as you had to pace the room. You were angry and exasperated in equal measure.

“Who the fuck do you owe two grand?!” you asked.

Charlie shook his head. “It’s better that I don’t tell you that.”

You paused. As you looked down at him, your anger dissolved into sadness, like it always did.

“If Mom and Dad could see you now, they wouldn’t recognize you,” you said.

Charlie fought not to react to that, his brows furrowing. Instead, he just looked down, unable to answer you.

“Charlie, you need help. I can’t keep doing this with you,” you said. Your shaky breath gave way to the burn of tears.

His red-rimmed eyes became glassy as well.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said.

He was always sorry. And you always had to be the one to nurse him back to health, pick up the pieces, pay the bills. You were exhausted. The bone-deep kind of tired that felt like gravity wasn't so much keeping you down, but pushing you.

“I’m going to ask for two things: do what you need to do to get paid, and clean up your shit. If you can’t accomplish that, then I’m taking you to rehab,” you said.

“You know I’ve tried that,” Charlie said, with a shrug of his shoulders. “Didn’t really work for me.”

“You left the program after two weeks!” you retorted.

“I did it on my own! I’ve been clean for months,” he argued.

“And what happened? You go to one party and all your good sense, all your training, mentally and physically—that all goes out the window?” you said. You had half a mind not to believe him.

“Yeah well, maybe just for one night, I wanted to relax without you harping on my back,” he said, glaring up at you. “Is that too much to fucking ask? For you to give me some goddamn slack?”

Your mouth fell open incredulously.

“I’m on your back?” you said. “Okay. I’ll get off. Do whatever the hell you want, Charlie. I’m done.”

You left his room in an angry huff. You headed over to your room so you could take a shower and start getting ready to meet Russell at Howley’s.

By the time you got to your bedroom, you heard the front door slam closed.

The truth was, you were no longer in a mood to have fun when you pulled up to Howley’s, but you needed to escape your house. Also, you weren’t someone who canceled on people last-minute, especially not on Dory’s own brother.

You found Russell waiting for you at the bar. He waved to you with a fifth of whiskey in hand and an easy grin. He’d saved you a seat beside him.

You found yourself smiling. Your mood began to lighten as you went over to him. He looked more or less the same, but this time the jacket and jeans combo was navy blue and dark wash, respectively. His hair was swept back, lightly gelled. You smelled the familiar, rich woodiness of his cologne when you drew near, along with a hint of spicy soap.

“Hey, there.” He greeted you with a warm hand on your back. He helped you into your seat.

“Hey, yourself,” you replied, and thanked him for the assist onto the tall stool. You’d opted for jeans and a blouse, paired with your favorite leather boots. It was less dressy than he’d seen you before, but that was “work mode.” This was a more casual affair, even if you’d spent at least twenty extra minutes on your makeup.

You were glad he picked a spot at the end of the bar though. It put some distance from the group of guys getting rowdy as they cheered at the football game playing on the TV.

“How was the rest of your day, Professor?” he asked. “And what’re you wanting to drink?”

You let out a long sigh and turned toward him, resting your elbow on the counter.

“Awesome. I’m going to need two shots of tequila and an order of something fried, and preferably covered with cheese, please,” you replied.

Russell’s grin deepened. “Okay, I’m thinking ‘awesome’ is code for something. But we can get started on that order of Forget Today’s Unfortunate Events.”

He flagged down the bartender with a raise of his hand, but he shot you a glance.

“Though I’m hoping it’s not all of today that you wanna forget,” he said.

Your lips threatened another smile, as the memory of your hand being swept up into his, and soft lips meeting the back of your hand filtered through your mind.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s possible,” you said.

After about ten minutes of playfully debating the appetizer menu (you swore by the pretzel and beer cheese, but Russell had his eye on those spicy wings), he finally settled on ordering both.

“When in doubt, don’t go without,” he’d remarked.

You swept a pretty coil of hair over your shoulder and downed your tequila shots with a lime wedge. Meanwhile, Russell tried not to linger his eyes on the way your tongue swept over your finger to catch a drop of lime juice. Your nails were manicured, and the shade of the polish matched your lipstick.

Russell didn’t pretend to know the art and science of a woman’s wardrobe, but everything about you was thought out, it seemed, falling in line with what he’d expect from a (sexy as all hell) college professor. You’d also told him at lunch today that as of last year, you now had two doctorates: History and Ancient Studies.

Even with all that under your belt, you also seemed refreshingly down-to-earth, a lot like Dory in that sense. He could see why you two were friends.

“So, are you from here, or are you a transplant, like my sister?” he asked.

Dory hadn’t come to live in Wyoming until their aunt and uncle took her in, when she was about eight years old. Before last month, Russell hadn’t seen her since. It hurt his heart to think about, but he tried to focus on you.

You now seemed to be staring a bit listlessly at the glass of whiskey in his hands. He laid a hand on your arm and called your name.

“Hmm?” Your brows rose as you blinked to attention. “Oh! I’m sorry. Yes, I’ve lived here pretty much forever.”

“You okay?” Russell asked. “Tequila hit ya a little hard?”

You shook your head. “No, I’m sorry…”

You raised your hands up to your temples. You debated whether you wanted to open up about this, but…considering who Russell was, you thought he might just understand.

“Dory told me you’ve been trying to reconnect with your brother, right? Colter?” you said.

Russell nodded. He wasn’t sure how much Dory told you about their family business, but it dimmed his mood.

“Well, you could say I’ve got a brother issue of my own,” you said, laughing humorlessly. “You don’t have to talk about yours, but maybe you’ll understand… My brother is a veteran too. He was a Captain, air force pilot. He fought in Afghanistan, mainly.”

Russell processed that with a nod. “Yeah, I was there too. Special Ops.”

“Wow, okay. Then you know what it was like for him, coming back home,” you said. Your gaze fell to your empty shot glasses. “It was hard, after…”

“After?” he prompted.

You sighed. “Near the end, he lost half his unit in a raid, off of some flawed intel.”

Russell’s brows knitted together. Hmm. Grief, survivor’s guilt, feeling like you don’t belong.

You didn’t notice, but you did push the shot glasses away from you.

“I helped him the best I could,” you said. “I got him a job at the museum I interned at when I was in undergrad. He’s there as a security guard, but it’s not really enough, you know? It’s like, nothing satisfies him. I just…I don’t think I know how to help him anymore.”

You couldn’t help it. Emotion bubbled in your throat, making it close up on you as tears stung in your eyes. Your lower lip wobbled, and you tried to turn your face away. Embarrassment coiled up in your chest and made your face hot.

You felt a hand cover yours on your thigh, squeezing warmly. You looked up and met Russell’s gaze, both sympathetic and understanding.

“I’m so sorry,” you said, trying to calm your shuddering breath. “This isn’t exactly first date material. I can’t believe I unloaded on you like that.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said. “Believe me, I get what your brother’s going through.”

He pushed the plate with the last piece of soft-baked pretzel over to you.

“You finish that if you want, then you go ahead and pick something else off the menu. I won’t even argue with you this time,” he promised with a grin.

It got you to laugh, at least, and he gave you a napkin for your tears.

God, get it together, you told yourself. You’re a damn mess.

“Thanks,” you said. You managed to smile as you blotted at one corner of your eye. You hoped you hadn’t just irreversibly smudged your mascara.

Russell surprised you by brushing his thumb against your other cheek, wiping a stray tear away. Your face began to warm with a blush.

“Again, I’m sorry for dumping on you. We had a fight right when I got home,” you admitted.

“What’s his name?” Russell asked.

“Charlie.”

“Older or younger than you?”

“Four years older,” you replied. “He enlisted a few years after he graduated high school.”

Russell flickered at a smile. Enlisted, huh?

Yet another thing he and Charlie had in common, except Russell hadn’t made it through high school in the classic sense.

“What do you think?” you asked.

“I think your brother sounds lost right now. I’ve known a lotta guys like him, unfortunately,” Russell admitted. “Walking back into civilian life, it ain’t easy. That I know my damn self. Just like I know a thing or two about being an older brother. He’s probably doing his best to keep it off your shoulders.”

You shook your head at that. Trying, maybe.

You weren’t even sure of that anymore. Still, it made you all the more curious about Russell and his family.

“I know I said I wouldn’t ask this, and you don’t have to answer. But did you and Colter have a falling out or something?” you asked.

Russell expelled a deep breath and took a sip from his glass. How was he supposed to navigate this minefield with you?

“You gotta understand that me, my brother, my sister, we didn’t grow up like a normal family,” he said.

“Yeah, I know,” you nodded. “Dory’s told me some of it. It sounded…rustic.”

He snorted. “Putting it mildly.”

He shook his head and drained the rest of his glass.

“Well, my brother’s got an idea about me that isn’t true,” he said.

Your head tilted in curiosity. “Which is?”

His lips briefly raised in a wan smile.

“We don’t gotta get into that one tonight. But uh, the truth is, I’ve tried reaching out to him several times now. He just doesn’t wanna hear from me,” said Russell.

You considered him for a moment. You laid a hand on his arm, covered by his jacket.

“Don’t give up,” you said, with a sigh of your own. “Despite some things I said to him today, I know I can’t. My brother’s the only real family I have.”

Russell grew curious then. “What about your parents?”

You gave a weak smile.

“They passed away when we were young, but…we don’t have to get into that one tonight,” you said, borrowing his words.

His expression fell. “Jesus. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Thank you,” you accepted, twisting the napkin around your fingers.

An awkward lull of silence fell between you, until Russell nodded and blew out a breath.

“Well. Heavy, huh?”

You chuckled and rested your head against your hand.

“I know. Again, my fault,” you replied.

“It’s okay, swee—. Mmm,” he cut himself off, shooting you a knowing glance.

“Were you about to sweetheart me?” you asked playfully, nudging his hand. “You know how I feel about that.”

“No, ma’am. Not at all,” Russell shook his head. His smile gave him away though. You laughed and grabbed his arm.

“Come on,” you said.

He allowed you to lead him out of his seat. He already had a tab open, so he’d settle up with the bar later. “Where we going?”

“You’re gonna lose to me at pool,” you said with a smirk.

Russell laughed and wrapped his arm around your waist instead.

“Oh, okay. I’m gonna give you a run for your money, though,” he promised.

And he was true to his word.

Russell Shaw turned out to be a more than worthy opponent. You studied the board as you changed the angle on your cue stick no less than five times.

“You gonna make a move, or we going to be here all night?” he said.

He was smiling as he leaned against his own cue on the other side of the board. His clever moves had left you in a difficult position to get your three remaining solid-colored balls into the pocket.

“You hush. I’m thinking,” you said, fighting your own smile.

“Careful, you’ve got steam coming out of your ears,” he teased.

You shot him a narrowed look for that. But then you smiled, as the answer came to you. You walked around to his side of the board and nudged him with your hip.

“Excuse me, sir,” you said to him over your shoulder.

Russell made way for you, but his eyes followed the way you bent over to line up your shot. Namely the curve of your ass in those tight jeans. He could see you knew exactly what you were doing, in more ways than one.

You shot your shot. The solid green ball leapt over his white-striped blue one and managed to sink into the pocket. You straightened up and gave him a triumphant little smirk.

He tried to temper his smile (and ignore the way his cock twitched).

“All right, go on, do your little victory lap," he said. "But remember, I let you go first.”

“Like that matters,” you quipped back.

You went back to the other side of the board to line up your next shot. Russell noticed a pair of drunk men ambling your way from the bar, but before he could make a subtle move to put himself in between, one of the men’s gazes slid down your form and gave into the base urge to let out a low whistle.

And he slapped you right on the ass.

You gasped, grabbing hold of the pool table. Then your shock melted into ire.

Russell was already heading toward you with an angry frown of his own, but even he had to stop short, when he watched you throw a punch that cracked the drunken man across the bridge of his nose.

Good form, Russell thought, when the guy reared back with a howl. His nose dripped blood when his hands came away from his face.

His buddy started to raise his hackles, but that was when Russell stepped to your side. He angled himself toward you and loosely gripped his pool cue by his hip, like it was an extension of his arm. He was fully prepared to use it like one.

“Fucking bitch!” said the one who was still dabbing his nose in vain. He glared at you, his eyes watering involuntarily, while his friend tried to keep him upright. You rolled your eyes.

"You're the one who's crying, bitch," you returned. Russell held in a snort. He cleared his throat and looked on at the pair of idiots.

“I’d have a little sit down if I were you,” Russell told them, with a smirk. “Let that be a lesson to ya. And if it don’t stick? Well. Whatever you start, I can damn well finish.”

His steely gaze reinforced the promise of his words. The other men were still angry, but even drunks had some sense of self-preservation. They ambled toward the back of the bar to find another pool table.

Russell focused his attention back on you, finding you looking down at your hand, rotating your wrist and flexing your fingers.

“Well, look at you, slugger,” he said. You met his smile with one of amusement.

“That’s just what I needed tonight. A broken hand,” you quipped.

Damn, she really gave it to him, Russell thought.

“Sorry,” he said, but your hand felt fine, at least. More than fine. His gaze flicked up to yours as his amused grin deepened. “Good hit though.”

If he liked you before, he might’ve fallen half in love with you right there.

You laughed through the pain. “Yeah, my brother did teach me something. Shit.”

Russell led you back to the bar after you grabbed your purse. There he called to the bartender for some ice. The guy nodded; he’d seen the entire exchange and was sympathetic.

You knew this sort of thing was just par for the course at this kind of bar, but they had the best drinks. Charlie had to carry you out of here on your twenty-first birthday, drunk off your ass. Not to mention, he’d punched out two handsy dicks that night.

You recounted the story to Russell over a couple more drinks. Your conversation was lighter then, filled with laughter and a warm, companiable feeling. He was still rather evasive about his job, but you supposed he had to be, since it was government contract work.

Private security, mainly. Or so he'd said. This man made you infinitely curious, and a bit apprehensive, if you were honest.

And yet, at some point while you two shared and laughed and split a hot sandwich with another round of beers, you realized it.

I like this, you thought. And I like him.

However, the night had to come to an end sometime. Your third involuntary yawn told Russell it was time to call it.

"I'm okay," you tried.

"Nah, you've gotta work tomorrow," he said. He signaled to the bartender. "Let me go ahead and close out my tab."

“Oh, I can pay for half,” you said, reaching for your purse now hanging from your hip.

“You kidding me? Put that away,” he said, guiding your hand with your wallet aside.

Smiling, you accepted his generosity with a small thank you. Then, you let him take up your sore hand again, just to carefully press the half-melted bag of ice over it.

“Feelin’ better?” he asked.

Your smile became softer. “Yeah.”

You had no doubt that this man, tall as he was, with his broad shoulders and the controlled way he carried himself, could’ve laid both of those drunken assholes onto their asses. His intimidating gaze had promised as much.

But his hands were gentle for you.

“I was about to win that game, no contest!” you said, laughing as you and Russell headed out of the bar and into the parking lot.

“Hey, hey, I still had time to win it back,” he argued. “I only had three more balls to go. I could’ve sunk that with my eyes closed.”

“Three balls, huh?” you said slyly, and maybe, a little tipsy. “Might wanna get that looked at.”

Russell snorted. “You think you’re funny, huh?”

“Hey, you laughed!” you said, pointing at him.

He shook his head, despite his amusement. He slowed to a stop in front of his car.

“Where’d you park, huh?” he asked.

“Over there,” you said, pointing several parking spaces down. Your eyes were drawn to his car, however. “Wow. This is your car?”

Russell grinned and patted the top of his black Chevy.

“Aw, yeah. That’s my baby,” he said. “She’s a Chevelle, 1967.”

You didn’t know much about cars, but you could see this was a classic beauty. You passed a hand over its sleek paint job without touching, so you didn't get any fingerprints on it. Though you quirked a smile over your shoulder at him.

“She?” you intoned.

“That’s right. She,” he confirmed.

You smirked and crossed your arms. You paused in front of the passenger door, and when Russell drew in closer, you had to crane your neck up to meet his warm gaze.

“Now, if I go in for a kiss goodnight, are you gonna deck me?” he asked, with a teasing glint in his eyes.

You tilted your head, your own eyes dancing.

“I’m sure you’re brave enough to find out,” you said.

Russell decided he’d take that bet.

He leaned in slowly. He made a show of hesitating, raising a brow, as if waiting for a blow. You were tempted to laugh.

But then he let loose a true smile, and he bowed his head to press his lips against yours. Your eyes fell shut, and your hands moved to flatten against his chest. A firm fucking wall. Jesus.

He circled his arms around your waist, bringing you in closer. Your fingers wound up in his hair, while he tilted his head to kiss you again. You met him with the same fervor with each new kiss, and the feel of your body, soft and pliant under his hands, each little sweet sound that you made, it all drove him to delve in deeper.

You moaned into his mouth at the first warm swipe of his tongue against yours. He tasted like the burn of good whiskey.

You pressed yourself flush against him on instinct. He found no other recourse but to back you up against the side of his car. His hand tangled into your hair, gripping, then easing through the soft strands.

Russell veered away from your soft mouth after a while, just to burn a line of warm, wet kisses along your jaw, and down your neck with the added rasp of his beard.

His lips found the sensitive spot where your neck met your shoulder. He kissed and sucked at your skin, even grazing with his teeth. You gasped softly in his ear, shuddering against him. You ran your hands over his shoulders and down his strong back out of a need to feel him.

His hands were heavy along the curve of your waist then, squeezing your hips. It all felt incredibly right. And by right, you meant body tingling, warmth churning in your lower belly, and wetness growing between your legs, for sure dampening your panties.

You tugged him back by his hair, so you could reach him for another steamy kiss.

“I’m staying at a motel, if you wanna…” he said, between kisses.

You paused against his lips, parting from him softly.

“Or not," he added. "Just thought I’d mention.”

You giggled, catching your breath, and then smoothing your hands down his chest. The faint throb of your core was telling you one thing, but the warning signals of your more cautious mind were telling you another. You thought for a moment…but then you sighed.

“How long are you really in town?” you asked.

His wet lips tugged to one corner, ruefully. “A few more days, probably.”

“Right,” you said with a frown. “Russell, I like you. I actually, I really do. If you were sticking around for a while, it’d be one thing. But you’re my best friend’s brother, and I—”

“No, I get it. I can’t predict when I’m gonna be able to swing back into town, and you’ve gotta live your life,” he said, but not without care. He curled an errant strand of hair behind your ear.

Your heart tugged, almost painfully.

“You’re a good guy, Russell Shaw,” you breathed. “Why can’t you be a good guy who’s staying?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said. Then he cringed, knowing how you felt about sweethearting men. “Ah, sorry—”

You smiled and covered his mouth with your fingers.

“It’s okay. You have permission to sweetheart me.”

After blinking his surprise away, his face eased into a grin.

“Then I’ll wear that badge with honor,” he said.

Your shoulders shook with laughter when you let your forehead fall against his chest.

Russell remained what he had been throughout the entire night: a gentleman, who accompanied you over to your car.

After another stolen kiss or two in front of your sedan, you parted ways from him with a bit of a heavy heart. You wondered if you made the right decision, or if you should’ve just gone for it for once, instead of second-guessing yourself like usual.

You did know this. The rumble of his Chevelle driving down the opposite road would be imprinted on your memory.

When you returned home, you realized that the house was empty, and in complete darkness.

Charlie still wasn’t home.

Worried, you flicked on the lights and began to text his cell, only to find a note for you on the kitchen counter.

And it worried you even more.

I’m sorry. I’m going to make it right.

— C.

AN: 😬 Well then! lol We're diving straight into the drama and feels on this one. What did you think of her "barely a date" with Russell? 😂

And where do you think we're going next with Charlie?

Next Time:

Dory was sat next to you on the couch, rubbing your back with sympathy and concern in her own eyes.

“You should call the police,” she advised.

You’d thought of that, but if Charlie was doing something he wasn’t supposed to, then depending on what it was, you didn’t necessarily want him locked up in a cell. He wasn’t a bad person, he was just…lost. You wanted him to get help.

You set down the butterknife beside the jar and turned to her, after drying your eyes the best you could.

“Do you think your brother would be willing to come back to Wyoming?” you said. After a beat of hesitation, you specified:

“Colter, the tracker.”

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 2

Series Masterlist

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Russell Shaw Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Russell S. Tag List:

@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007

@wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373

@brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum

@waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady

@leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy

@kmc1989 @jackles010378 @emily-winchester @waynes-multiverse @jessjad

@my-stories-vault @deans-spinster-witch @syrma-sensei @stellasfictionalworld @ultimatecin73

@jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @pieandmonsters @lhymer1995 @taehyungxjungkookistaekook @lovelystoriesaj

@nicksalchemy1 @spnwoman @onlyangel-444 @sexyvixen7 @illicithallways

@wolkenprinzessin007 @alwaystiredandconfused @carpenterswife @cheynovak @grilledcheeseandtomato

#wayne reads #russell shaw #russell shaw x reader

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mylovelia · 11 months ago

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Dear Renie, my lovely raccoon boy,

Have you been well? Is the island alright? I haven’t been there in a while. I ultimately feel like I’ve become quite the extraordinaire when it comes to being a wine aunt lately. The house is empty, wony sometimes visiting like the sweet girl she is… But it’s always empty these days.

Lately, amongst the silence that falls in that place, I found myself thinking, reminiscing. The hiatus has given me ample time to think, of course. In fact I’d argue it’s like a contemplative form of hibernation but you didn’t hear that from me~!

I think back on things… How the years have gone by, the experiences faced… I can’t help but always feel the same over and over again… I play our songs and well,

I was at my happiest, with you, always. I keep thinking, but no memory has come close to compare to the experiences we shared. Renjun, you really taught me what the beauty of life and love was… A first love like no other… And to think it stemmed from you getting your heart broken. Ironic isn’t it? I feel like I truly owe it to that particular jello man, you know? If it wasn’t for him, our whole entire lore and friendship, as well as relationship… Never would’ve existed in the way it did. (No one would throw menacing gnomes in the neighbours yard nor fake date but hey, liju was never like others.)

I kicked over a can of paint the other day while painting one of the rooms, trying to get a new look… new look, new me sort of thing… I thought of you suddenly, I had this urge to want to suddenly finger paint on someone’s back. I ended up painting our deck and swing onto the one wall. I made that room to relax now. It feels like a home away from home. I added the lights we put up once too. I don’t really know why, and maybe it was inappropriate for me to do all this, but I’ve been craving this sort of safety and peace from my mind lately, and when I walk in this room, seeing that imagery and the lights, and having pretty lights and music playing…It brings so much ease… If I close my eyes, and the sun hits through the sunroof of the room just right for me to nap, I feel like I’m back there, on the island… But I can’t help but feel it’s missing a particular raccoon, heh.

Renjun… Thank you for being my home when I was lost… You feel like a home that I grew up in. One I know I can go back to after leaving for a long time, and it’ll feel exactly like how it did when I left. A place I know I’ll still belong, even when I’ve left. The memories would resurface alongside a flush of nostalgia, and I’d smile bittersweetly. What a word for us, bittersweet…

You’ll always be my fondest memory, and my fondest love. I’ve experienced other types of love, but the most sincere, safe, and timeless love, has and will always be ours.

Renie, I’ll always look at the sun and think of you. No matter where we are, what we are, or when, I’ll always carry you with me, somehow. I’m sorry, I let the feelings of others get in the way of ours… I think it was necessary, for me to experience these other relationships to make me realise just how perfect ours was, through all the bad and good. Ours was so precious, and one of a kind. I don’t know where life will take us, but I hope that even with different roads ahead, I’ll meet you at the end. I miss you. Thank you for loving me, always.

i cried bad bitch tears while reading this 😎 i always love reading letters from you no matter the length or topic of conversation... you're the best thing that's ever happened to me and i'm so lucky to have even gotten the chance to know you. you're forever in my heart, my most beloved gnome girl 💞

#(◜◡◝) smiley

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12952452718 · 1 year ago

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✨️ If you get this, answer with ten random facts about yourself, and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications. Anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog ✨️

not me leaving this in my drafts for LITERALLY A WHOLE-ASS YEAR

my favorite color is a light turquoise, aka "aqua sky" and if it comes in that color I WILL buy it

I dropped out of college and missed three weeks of class at a different college due to mental illness. I still graduated magna cum laude somehow. 😎

I have an IRL blog about like, cooking and crafting and stuff. Not gonna give the URL because it has my real name attached, but it does exist and I've made a little bit of money off it which is cool

in high school, I chose my foreign language requirement by process of elimination (we had Spanish, French, and Japanese; I can't roll my r's so Spanish was out, and the French teacher was really scary, so Japanese it was haha)

I am exactly 160cm tall

I'm double jointed in basically all my joints (EDS gang rise up 🦓)

I'm intolerant to everything in the nightshade family, including some medications derived from nightshades like hyoscyamine

I will hopefully be starting T soon!!!

I love taking quizzes. IDK why but I'm obsessed

instead of tarot, I have a hand-selected deck of Cards Against Humanity cards that I draw and read

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rookthorne · 2 years ago

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I love that gif so much 🥹

The first time Nick heard it, he thought it was ghosts whispering that damned name in his ear.

The second time Nick heard it, he realised it was a scarier reality than phantoms.

oh damn… 😎😎😎

You were calling for James in your sleep again, an occurrence that happened regularly.

I miss him 🥺

He wondered what you dreamt. Did you dream of James in a world where he survived? Or were they memories of the past? Did he treat you well? Were you happy?

There was a quirk in your lips, a slight sway of your hips. Were you dancing with him?

OH MY GOD

why did that make me tear up 😭

Around you, though, he wanted to be good to you. He would never forget when he heard you laugh for the first time. Nick had accidentally tickled your sides while brushing past you, and the sound that came from you was glorious.

oh look at him, being all soft

After he’d finished his glass, the familiar burn of liquor pooling in his belly, Nick turned to the only other person he trusted the opinion of.

Hal Carter. The alpha worked on Ari’s ranch. While Ari bred omegas using alpha studs, Hal trained them and kept them calm. He was gentle. Those girls were taken well cared of, which was to be expected when they needed to produce pups.

IT’S MY FAVOURITE!!! 🥹🥹🥹

It was an art how Hal could smile and exude calming energy to those around him. His words were always smooth like silk, rolling off his tongue so naturally you can’t help but listen. It helped the omegas stay calm, and they all trusted him. He was still one of the bad guys; all the alphas in his circle were. But he was the best of the bad. Scott Huffman, the one who would take Ari’s bred pups in and raise them on his ranch, he was a close second.

I love him your honor.

“I normally get up by dawn to go hunting anyway, s’no trouble.” Nonchalant as ever, Hal sat himself down in one of the office armchairs in his green plaid shirt and blue jeans.

I can hear it fuck help me oh GOD-

THAT MADE IT WORSE OH FUCK

There was a rawness in the air, as if Nick wasn’t playing a game. He was putting his whole deck of cards on the table for Hal to see. It was hard to trust, but Nick didn’t have anywhere else to turn.

big bad man all scared… hmm 😌

Nick went through the long explanation of your past, how you came into his care, and how you were acting now. Hal listened attentively, face staying blank as the horrors were laid bare. After explaining, Nick sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I want her to dream of me. Dream of her alpha.”

“So, what you’re telling me is you’ve killed her alpha, kidnapped her, had her gang fucked, chased her, and choked her until she passed out, yet you expect her to dream of you?”

MY BOY IS NOT SUBTLE

I love him

^ that’s Nick 🤣

There was a beat of silence before Hal spoke again. “Do you really act like her alpha? She’s not a toy, Nick. And she’s not just a pet. You have to be gentle.”

WHERE THE FUCK WAS HAL BEFORE?!

“Bullshit. Every alpha has a gentle instinct deep down. Be the alpha your sister and mother would have wanted you to become.”

…oops 👀

“It is cruel. But it’s what ‘ya needed to hear. The world is fucked, but her world doesn’t have to be. You’re the one bringing that upon her. You want her to dream of you? Give her memories good enough to dream about. You’ve broken her down, and done the harsh things you needed to. Now you need to build her back up. Without that affection, she will just continue to crumble time and time again. Don't you want to see her smile?”

imma say it again

WHERE THE FUCK WAS HAL, TO KNOCK THIS FUCKER DOWN A PEG, BEFORE?!

Hal drank the last of his juice, setting the glass down gently on the side table. “Then, there you go. Just work to make her smile for you more. Life is good with a happy omega, Nick.”

can I like just insert myself here and go with him? please?

“Morning, omega,” Nick kissed your forehead, spooning you so his warm, firm chest was flush with your back. “Nice dreams?”

Nick 😑

Nick cleared his throat, shifting a little, so his hard-on wasn’t too obvious against your ass. He was trying to focus, all his energy going into being nice. But Nick could tell you knew he was turned on, your own arousal signalling through the bond. “No, no. We’re going shopping.”

…wow

He was trying to focus, all his energy going into being nice.

Hal really got through to him, huh?

Nick pulled away the bandage with you sitting cross-legged in front of him. He hummed, content at the sight of the healing cut. “Looks good, pup. My good girl, healing so well.”

hnNNG NO

STOP THAT

You seemed like a fish out of water, and Nick understood that. He was flipping his demeanour for you. This was new for him, but not entirely unwelcome, especially when he felt your ease through the bond.

GOOD! SO HE FUCKING SHOULD!

okay this is by far my favourite entry from this au, I fucking love how Hal just pushed him down and put him in his place so calmly… just wow.

How would Nick react in clockwork au if puppy was blearily saying James’ name in her sleep?

𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔

✧˚ · . Nick wants all of you. And he will do whatever it takes to claim your soul.

pairing — mob boss!prime alpha!nick fowler x omega!reader w/c — 1.9k this is a dark fic. 18+ only. AU masterlist. listening to — ♫sleepless warnings —general dark elements (dark AU), a/b/o dynamics, manipulation. a/n — thank you for the ask and interest in the AU! i hope you enjoy. jessica chastain is not a representative of the readers looks i just wanted a gif of nick kissing a forehead lol. not beta read, we die like men.

The first time Nick heard it, he thought it was ghosts whispering that damned name in his ear.

The second time Nick heard it, he realised it was a scarier reality than phantoms.

You were calling for James in your sleep again, an occurrence that happened regularly.

Even after all the work Nick had put into making you his, there was still that subconscious part of you that held onto the past. Even though you smiled at him in your waking hours, someone else had a space in your heart.

It wasn’t like it was unexpected. Nick knew he would be crazy to assume you would have no residual feelings for your lost life. But it still hurt. His omega, calling for someone else.

He wondered what you dreamt. Did you dream of James in a world where he survived? Or were they memories of the past? Did he treat you well? Were you happy?

There was a quirk in your lips, a slight sway of your hips. Were you dancing with him?

Nick considered calling Steve. Doctor Kemp always seemed to have a way of making omegas comply, plus he was one of his greatest allies. But Nick knew that the heavy-handed approach wouldn’t be appropriate here. While Steve’s suggestion of having other alphas use you worked to break you down beautifully, accessing a soul was a task that required a delicate touch.

Slipping from the bed, Nick left you in your peaceful slumber, dreaming of the man you would never have. In nothing more than black sweatpants and a navy sweater, he sat in his chilly office.

For a while, he just kept the lights off and pondered.

If his younger self could see him now, he wondered what he’d think. This was certainly not the life Nick had intended to lead.

But the world was cruel, and so he became crueller. To escape hardship, he became the creator of it. A devil walking the earth.

Nick sighed, pouring himself a scotch from the decanter. He’d burn the world, but keep you safe always.

After he’d finished his glass, the familiar burn of liquor pooling in his belly, Nick turned to the only other person he trusted the opinion of.

Within thirty minutes of texting him, Hal turned up on the mansion’s doorstep. The sun was barely rising, only subtle hues of gold beginning to grow.

“Thanks for coming so early,” Nick ushered Hal inside, bringing him to the office while the rest of the home remained in a dream state.

“I normally get up by dawn to go hunting anyway, s’no trouble.” Nonchalant as ever, Hal sat himself down in one of the office armchairs in his green plaid shirt and blue jeans.

Nick poured himself another scotch, plopping two ice cubes into the crystal glass. “Want a drink?”

Hal raised a brow, scoffing. “Unless it’s orange juice, no. I ‘ain’t drinking.”

“I can do that,” Nick said, disappearing from the room and returning with a tall glass of juice, a slight shudder of nervousness in his hand when he gave it to Hal.

Nick sat in the armchair opposite Hal, swirling the liquid in his glass, and Hal quirked his head. “Look, as much as I love catching up with you, why did you ask me here so urgently? Is something wrong?”

“So, what you’re telling me is you’ve killed her alpha, kidnapped her, had her gang fucked, chased her, and choked her until she passed out, yet you expect her to dream of you?”

There was a beat of silence before Hal spoke again. “Do you really act like her alpha? She’s not a toy, Nick. And she’s not just a pet. You have to be gentle.”

“I don’t know how to be gentle,” Nick sneered, crossing his arms defensively.

“Bullshit. Every alpha has a gentle instinct deep down. Be the alpha your sister and mother would have wanted you to become.”

Nick growled and stood, throwing the glass at the wall behind Hal’s head, the crystal shattering into a million shards across the dark hardwoods. It was ballsy bringing up his family. The other alpha flinched slightly, but he wasn’t afraid.

Nick puffed his chest, gritting his teeth so hard they were ready to shatter. “That’s a cruel thing to say. You’re pushing it, Hal.”

“More than anything,” Nick grumbled, sitting back in his chair with a hardened expression. He wanted to feel your happiness through the bond. It was like a drug.

Hal drank the last of his juice, setting the glass down gently on the side table. “Then, there you go. Just work to make her smile for you more. Life is good with a happy omega, Nick.”

“She hates what I do, though. And I can’t - and won’t - change that.”

“Then make her existence with you good enough to outweigh that.” Hal proposed the idea like it was easy. Just treat you right, and it would all fall into place.

But was it really that easy?

The chase had changed you. You were more receptive to Nick and seemed more content overall. But he could still see the flickers of fear that lay dormant, ready to wake at any time. And James— Well. Your subconscious hadn’t let him go yet.

Perhaps Hal was right. Maybe you were broken enough that you’d adapt to this life with some positive reinforcement.

After Hal had left, Nick ordered the staff to make you breakfast before he wandered back up to the bedroom, the morning sun beginning to peek past the blinds. Nick took his jumper off, wanting to feel your skin on his.

You shifted a little in your sleep when the bed dipped from Nick’s weight, his arms looping around you and pulling your naked form close. “...Alpha…?” You asked blearily. It wasn’t often you got morning cuddles like this. Normally, Nick was already working by the time you rose.

“Morning, omega,” Nick kissed your forehead, spooning you so his warm, firm chest was flush with your back. “Nice dreams?”

You stiffened for a moment before nodding, curling into his hold comfortably. “Yeah.”

“Good. I need you full of energy today,” Nick said as he kissed your neck gingerly, a soft contrast to his tight hold on you.

Nick ran his hand up and down your side, fingers running over the bruises he’d left on your skin the day prior when he fucked you rough over his desk.

“Are we playing hunt the whelp?” Your voice wavered nervously. So meek, so small. Nick nearly growled at the thought of hunting you, but he held it back.

You perked up at that, turning to look at Nick. Your curious shining eyes had his heart skipping a beat. “Shopping? Like, going outside?”

“Yes. We’re going into town. I’ll buy you whatever you want.”

The excitement that flooded the bond was overwhelming. Nick had never felt anything like it. You were happy. But there was some anxiety there too. “Won’t people recognise you? What if something goes wrong?” You asked with a growing frown.

Nick shhed you, gently running his finger over your frown and pushing your lips up at the edge so you were smiling. “You’re the safest omega in the world. Plus, Beck and Mace will be there too.”

Your expression turned into a genuine smile. And Nick smiled back.

“Sit up. I need to check your head.” Nick turned to the bedside, getting together his dabbing alcohol and bandages. You always seemed to end up with some injury after Nick had a bad day. It wasn’t overly intentional, but his anger often turned into dark arousal that left you sore and battered but pleasured too.

You’d banged your head on the desk yesterday when Nick shoved you down and caught your forehead on one of his fountain pens. It left a cut, but Beck dismissed it as minor, needing to be covered with a plaster.

Nick pulled away the bandage with you sitting cross-legged in front of him. He hummed, content at the sight of the healing cut. “Looks good, pup. My good girl, healing so well.”

Nick could feel the heat radiating from your skin as he gently cleaned the cut before placing a fresh bandage on the wound.

“Ah, just in time.” Nick put his things away as your breakfast was brought in. Pancakes with maple syrup and strawberries.

Nick sat with you, cutting up the pancakes and feeding you small bites. Every so often, you would meet his gaze, a little twinkle in your eye that wasn’t there before.

It wouldn’t always be like this, and Nick knew he had a long way to go in putting your pieces back together.

But it was a task he knew he would never fail.

He would have all of you.

To be updated on when I post please follow @sgt-seabass-library and turn on post notifications.

#rookthorne’s reactions #Lana’s loves #clockwork au #favourites favourites favourites

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alyjojo · 1 year ago

Text

July 🕶 2023 Monthly - Aries

Whole of your energy: 8 Cups

I’m getting a typical Aries situation here where you’re having to abandon some new passion or hobby you’ve taken up recently. It’s not working out. You do NOT like to lose, and you’re not used to it, so when it happens, you end up in this Shadow Grey Storm energy temporarily…till you get over it and you’re on to the next thing. This all is like the time my husband wanted to invest in vending machines, super passionate about it, and then learned how much money that would actually take to upkeep. Thank goodness for YouTube 🙏 Same energy here 💯 Your oracles show you having a bold & inventive spirit, you’re eager to learn about many new passions, and you want to create something amazing that doesn’t exist! You’re being applauded by Spirit for your efforts, even if they don’t work out. Failure is like a redirection, that’s all, and you’re being encouraged to continue with that same energy. Same excitement, different thing. Or topic, or method, whichever applies to you.

What’s going on in July:

Page of Pentacles:

You have invested actual money into something already, this is signing a contract. Both The Emperor & Page of Swords in this deck have these cool guy sunglasses 😎 and you’re giving off an “I got this” kind of energy. It’s something you’re expecting to grow, some kind of side hustle, hobby, an invention of some kind. Buying a food truck? That was the first thing that came to mind, doesn’t have to be, but I’m getting an energy of outsmarting “the system” that’s making me chuckle. Spirit loves that about you ok that is wholeheartedly encouraged. Just…not this one. Whatever it is.

A side story for someone, you could be deciding to switch majors in school, or go back to school. Either way, documents have already been signed with Page of Pentacles. It’s go time.

Ace of Pentacles:

This is an opportunity, or actual money being spent, it’s leading to 5 Pentacles. This could be a career thing, school thing, investment of some kind, I’m clearly getting sports with 3 Pentacles & 5 Wands. There is a competitive energy with this, and you thrive in competition, it doesn’t scare you. This could be showing something you’re into being overly saturated already, you could have a hard time getting along with others, making a name for yourself, marketing, or you could need the support of others to get this off the ground and it’s not happening like you had hoped. If it’s a food truck, maybe it’s tacos and there are already 50 taco trucks, you’re like crap. Because you already invested into this. Newly, this isn’t a long term thing, it’s a recent passion of some kind. Back to the drawing board.

5 Pentacles:

Clarified by 3 Swords & Knight of Wands, the kid on two of these cards is the same, one rushing into something impulsively, and then getting hurt. I clarified to see if this is a literal injury and got no, things just aren’t working out. Nothing is progressing, and you’re possibly losing money. Or already have. Something you’ve rushed into is more expensive than you’d first thought, and 3 Swords indicates it’s not you or even this thing that’s the issue, it’s probably the money involved. Either it costs too much or competitors are winning because there are a million of them, that sort of thing. Happy Accident does not indicate disaster.

Death:

You’re losing whatever this is, by choice, having to abandon it. I don’t see you being sad about it for very long though, you’re going to be heading off to the next thing within no time. It’s like you’re sorting things out in your head, justifying why you cannot continue on this path you started down. 2 Pentacles rev following shows it’s just too much going on, too much money, you can’t continue the way you have been. So, Justice, time to cut this off and start over with something else. At least you’re mature enough to call a spade a spade when it’s spading right?

2 Pentacles rev:

You’re realizing you can’t continue, you’re doing the right thing by letting this go, whatever it is. You simply can’t afford it, Ace of Swords shows you being honest with yourself. But you won’t let it get you down, there are plenty of other options for you to achieve the same long-term goal, and you’ll end up right back in this curious learning energy, wanting to change the world with the next greatest thing before long ❤️ 3333 is here as a message about things and people outside of yourself, whether coworkers, family members, teammates, school mates, the public as a whole, and people you’re learning from is a specific theme here. Those you’re working with could be shady or hurt you, your chances, or cost you a lot of money. Some outside thing - plus money - is cause for a total redirection, but it’s like…right after you started. You haven’t gotten in so deeply that you’re stuck. Reconsider those involved or your target audience for your next big idea 💡

Signs you may be dealing with:

Capricorn, Leo, Libra, Scorpio & Virgo

Oracles: ✨

13 - Innovation

Have fun and experiment, inventing something that surprises and has never existed before.

61 - Happy Accident

Fortunate accidents can act as guides to edit and be open to where you should go next.

33 Integration 🧬

We are a sum of all of our experiences in this and other lives. We all bring forward a wealth of knowledge, talents, and wisdom. One of the challenges is remembering who we are. We are bombarded every day in every way with messages on who we should be, what we should do, what we should wear, how we should live…

These messages coming from the media, society, our family and friends, and even strangers can drown out who we are really meant to be: who we have grown into lifetime after lifetime. Find some quiet moments in your day to identify and start a relationship with that small, strong voice inside of you. Pretty soon you won’t hear the other messages. Many times in your interactions with others, you hear that small voice tell you something is not right. Your logical mind tells you stop it, nothing is wrong, you’re being silly/dramatic or overreacting. You may ignore your inner voice in a quest to fit in, be loved or admired. You do not realize that your inner voice is warning you that the other person’s energy is not matching their words or actions. Listen to your instincts about this situation or person.

We enter into July as:

Shadow Grey Storm ⛈:

“I can no longer hold your secrets.”

In the most direct way, Shadow Grey Storm is about taking responsibility and not blaming others for your situation in life. This Storm was created to clear away the debris preventing us from moving forward. It could be something you are angry about (but have chosen to bury) is about to be re-revealed to you. This is an inevitable awakening, whether by conscious choice or not, you cannot hide and move forward at the same time. While this comes without judgement, it brings judgement day. Whether it is a pleasant experience or not, you will feel an awakening, a refreshing release from your bonds. This is a blessing. No matter the background, we all have secrets we hide. Your best protection is honesty. The rays of light in Shadow Grey Storm are piercing knowledge and hidden truth, and there is a great discovery coming to you too.

What is to be learned in July:

Emaciated Periwinkle ⚖️:

“I must create before the opportunity disappears.”

This card is a good indication that something is out of balance in your life. You may be too focused in one area and therefore neglecting another. Change takes place in proper time. Slow down. With balance we gain the love and support we need to take risks. Periwinkle is also an indication you need to look at your eating habits. This could be a plea from your body to take better care of yourself. This can also point out workaholism or any compulsive behavior that has you feeling out of whack. Is there a part of your life that needs serious attention from you? This card wishes to remind you that...you take you wherever you go.

Purple may be a lucky color 💜

#aries tarot reading #monthly tarot #July 2023 #Aries #tarot #tarotblr

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bbugyu · 3 years ago

Text

jeonghan had spent his whole life imprisoned, but being in your service is what finally set him free.

bewitched | coming soon

wc.25.2k | vampire!jeonghan x gn witch!reader, fluff, hurt/comfort, horror comedy, band au ?, mentions of past trauma (details under cut), contractual servitude, mentions of blood, minor injuries (just cuts and scratches really), drinking, swearing, smoking, can i write jeonghan without argumentive flirting, vampire kisses (both kinds)

hi everyone! i, once again, have caught up with jeonghan age wise 😎 as of today we are the same age until october. to celebrate, here is an insanely long vampire au i created after this past january when i was hyperfixating HARD on a webtoon called bloody sweet (available to read here!). the circumstances of jeonghan and the mc's relationship and some major plot points (keyword: some) were inspired heavily by that original comic, so i want to give credit where credit is due! though i changed quiiiite a lot, so it's definitely not the same story loool. please enjoy a long burn vampy witchy jeonghan au!

thanks to @sichengtual and @babiemingoo for beta reading!

taglist (send me an ask to be added!): @soobin-chois

the following possibly triggering events happen in flashbacks or are mentioned in dialogue: familial death, suicide attempts, kidnapping/imprisonment, and murder

"c'mon, it's not that big of a deal," hyejin laughed, tugging your arm. "don't tell me you have a weird feeling, i know that's bullshit."

you swallowed harshly as she dragged you into the main cathedral. her, along with several of your other friends, decided that the only way to properly celebrate halloween would be to find an old abandoned church in the woods and get drunk in the rotting pews, but all the hair on your neck stood on end as soon as you entered the building. you looked around, the light streaming vaguely in through the warped stained glass windows inlaid in stone, and you wondered how long it took for such things to fall apart. how long a place like this could exist in a country where christianity had only arrived in the late 1800s. how quickly it must have been abandoned to have come to this state.

mingyu and jihoon were ahead of you, kicking aside broken wood from the altar to clear space for you all to sit, and your eyes ran up the cross hanging over them. something here didn't feel right, but there wasn't much you could say as you were pulled to join your bandmates.

"did you bring your tarot cards?" hyejin asked, and you just shook your head. "aw, c'mon, hex! you aren't gonna give us fortunes on halloween?"

"not here," you said, rolling your eyes at the nickname as you sat on the pew in the front row, eyes catching mingyu's for a second. "i'm not trying to invite bad juju on my deck."

"hey!" wonpil called, and you looked up behind you, to the choir balcony railing he was leaning over. "check it out, i found an organ!"

hyejin squealed, and you looked to her. "your guitars are in the van, right?"

jihoon laughed. "what am i supposed to do, find a chair to slap?"

"whatever keeps the beat," hyejin teased, rushing up the altar to grab his arm, and you exhaled, glad that her attention was off you. "you have the keys? help me grab them."

"should we really unload the van?" you asked. "what if we need to make a quick escape?"

mingyu looked at you. "weird feeling?"

"oh, shut up," hyejin rolled her eyes, tugging jihoon - the car key keeper - with her back to the entrance. "stop being a baby, we'll get the beers, too."

you watched after them, and jumped when the sound of the organ echoed through the cathedral. hyejin squealed again, giggling, telling jihoon to hurry up while he complained about the two non-guitar players having to go retrieve the guitars.

"i wonder how close that balcony is to falling," mingyu joked, and you looked at him with big eyes. he chuckled. "don't take it too seriously."

you nodded, standing and taking jihoon's place exploring the altar, eyes wandering across the plastered walls. "where's changyoon?"

"who knows," he said, shrugging. "him and wonpil decided they wanted to explore."

your eyes went back to the source of the haunting melody of the organ, and you wondered if your foster brother had joined wonpil, or if he was off in some other back room of the church. you squatted, looking through the debris on floor - there were offering trays, hymnal books, and you spotted a small silver cross half under a sheet of paper. you pushed the paper aside to inspect and felt a jolt of pain.

"ow!" you jumped, instinctively shoving your injured index finger in your mouth.

mingyu looked at you. "you good?"

"yeah," you muttered around the finger, standing and nudging the paper aside with your shoe, revealing green glass under it. you pulled your finger out of your mouth, watching the blood gather on your first knuckle again. "watch your step, there's broken bottles."

mingyu grabbed a larger piece of wood to push aside debris, making space for the others to join later, when someone suddenly jumped out from a doorway to the left of the altar.

"fuck, hyung!" mingyu threw the slab of wood in changyoon's direction, making him laugh and pick up his foot to dodge the splintering wood. "this place is already creepy, cut it out!"

changyoon grinned at you both. "come with me, i found something insane."

you looked at mingyu, who looked back at you, and you both abandoned your post at the altar to follow the self appointed manager of your band through the doorway he appeared from.

in all honestly, you wished you weren't as in tune with your surroundings as you were. it was unavoidable, the way certain places and situations made you feel on edge. you were generally a calm person, but those places and the feeling you got in them had a way of turning you into an anxious wreck. you were able to make it through the haunted house hyejin had dragged the band to the previous week without issue, letting mingyu hide behind you with his hands on your shoulders every time you had to enter a new room, but the back hallways of this church put a weird feeling in your stomach, and it was near impossible to ignore as you stepped over splintering wood.

when you were younger, changyoon had called you a scaredy cat for refusing to go under a bridge near where the two of you had grown up, where a dead body had been found a week later, strapped to cinder blocks in the river. you had believed his words for most of your life, despite the coincidence, but that didn't explain all the dreams you had that depicted natural disasters the night before they occured, or the vivid memories in your head that weren't yours. that hyejin would tell you to bet on which figurines she was going to pull from her blindboxes as a joke, only for you to be right every time. they called you lucky, but you were pretty sure it wasn't luck, especially with the way you would get pushed in the mud in primary school before changyoon had started defending you.

mingyu was the only one that ever believed you when you said something felt off, when you said that you felt like something bad was going to happen. your other bandmates usually rolled their eyes and backed down to appease you, to keep the peace. but mingyu would make eye contact with you, and he was always able to see that you were genuinely shaken, especially because it didn't happen often.

"i don't like this," you said, as soon as changyoon walked through another doorway, his phone flashlight shining in the darkness. "i don't like that room."

mingyu looked at the back of your head, then at changyoon, and the older just sighed and grabbed your hand. "hey, we're all going in together, okay? you'll be fine. c'mon."

you chewed your lip, looking past him into the room. "changyoon, there's something wrong in there."

"impressive, hex," he said, grinning. you had earned the nickname over the years for the express trait that you were displaying in this moment - your sense, and your luck, that your friends always equated to some kind of witchcraft. "aren't you curious why it feels wrong?"

you cursed under your breath, looking away from him. changyoon knew you the best out of anyone in your life - you grew up with him, and his family took you in when you had no one else, making him your closest friend by far. his sly question was the same thing that had gotten you to go under that bridge back in middle school, and he knew you were too easy to convince as soon as your curiosity was piqued.

"hey," mingyu interrupted. "we don't have to-"

"it's fine," you said, looking back at him. his brows creased at you. "i'll be fine. let's check it out."

he eyed you, and agreed as changyoon pulled you through the doorway by your hand, following behind.

"hey, hex," changyoon prompted, directing his light at the wardrobe stood against the wall. "what does that look like to you?"

you gulped. the tall wooden wardrobe looked old, but seemed to be perfectly maintained in the general wreckage that occupied the rest of the church, and you saw two yellow sheets plastered over the seam of the doors with red calligraphy.

you could feel mingyu fidgeting beside you. "aren't those talismans?"

"protective," you agreed, wondering what they were doing in a christian church, then looked at changyoon. "can we get out of here, now?"

"hey," he said, brows knitting when he looked between you both. "if it's sealed, then we're safe, right? unless one of us happens to break the seal…"

"not funny, hyung," mingyu said, eyes stern. "i don't like this either."

changyoon laughed. "you two are too superstitious. c'mon, don't you wanna see what's in it?"

while entering the room had felt wrong, and staying in it felt worse, you almost felt a siren song coming from the wardrobe, unable to pull your gaze from it. you wanted to shake yourself awake, fully aware of the importance of such symbols. someone had placed them there for a reason, and they probably had a better understanding of the beyond than you did, but something in your heart tugged you towards it. "kinda-"

"what?" mingyu looked at you. "you can't be serious."

when you looked back at him, you realized how stupid you were being. "we shouldn't," you agreed, but your eyes caught the talismans again. "but aren't you just a little curious?"

"rock paper scissors," changyoon said, holding out a fist in front of you. "winner opens it."

you looked at him, eyes wide. "winner?"

"not fair," mingyu said, running a hand up his arm, and you wondered if he had the same goosebumps you did. "you know they always win."

he shrugged. "maybe if they didn't cheat-"

"i don't cheat," you argued. "i just-"

"-know what we're gonna throw," changyoon finished for you, teasing. "then you should be able to lose, too, if you don't wanna open it so bad."

"i'm not playing," mingyu said, annoyed. "this is stupid. i'm gonna go find wonpil. you coming?"

you hadn't even realized that the organ had stopped playing when you looked at mingyu. you slowly raised a fist. "after this. you go ahead."

changyoon grinned victoriously when mingyu exhaled, recognizing your need to prove yourself right as he exited the room. "if you guys open that thing, you're idiots."

"play or you lose, rock paper-"

you looked at changyoon's grin, and instantly, you could see his hand with a thumb and finger out. as he yelled bo and threw out his play, you spread your fingers, despite the urge to keep them clenched. he was staring at your hand, and when you looked down, you saw his hand playing the exact way you had predicted.

"fuck."

"i guess you were right," you said, a smile slowly creeping across your lips. "i can lose when i want to."

"you cheated," he accused, muttering about how annoying the situation was, but straightened his spine and looked at the wardrobe. "whatever. deal's a deal."

"you're really gonna open it?" you asked, shocked. "changyoon, those talismans-"

he rolled his eyes, approaching the wooden wardrobe. "you know i don't believe in that stuff."

"and you know that i do," you said, slightly annoyed when you grabbed the back of his shirt. he looked back at you, and you swallowed, eyes going to the seals, and you felt goosebumps on your arms. "changyoon, i really d-don't think this is a good idea. i have a r-really bad feeling."

"relax, hex," he said, looking back at you when he noticed the return of your childhood stutter. you swallowed, and watched as he bent his neck until it popped, holding his flashlight towards the wardrobe and pulling a utility knife out of his pocket. "just stay behind me."

your fist tightened on his shirt, wanting desperately to stop him, but knowing there was nothing you could do when he set his mind on something. he had spent your entire shared youth doing whatever he wanted without heeding much warning from anyone, and all you could do was hope to some higher power that whatever was in that wardrobe wasn't as dangerous as the talismans suggested while he sliced the knife through the yellow sheets sealing the wardrobe.

the room felt suddenly colder than before, and changyoon paused, flipping the knife shut and depositing it back in his pocket as he swallowed. "am i imagining it, or-"

"hyung!"

you both spun, towards the door, when mingyu suddenly appeared with his own phone flashlight.

"wonpil fell, we should get out of here."

your stomach sank. your bad feelings were never wrong. "fell?"

changyoon immediately grabbed your arm, guiding you as he headed towards mingyu. "from where? is he okay?"

"he says he's fine," the guitarist explained, and you looked back at the broken seals upon the wardrobe as you were pulled out of the room. "the stairs down from the balcony broke under him. i think it's just a sprain, but he has a couple scratches and hyejin wants to get him to a hospital. we figured you could check him out."

"okay, yeah. good idea," changyoon said, letting go of you as you all entered the main cathedral again, turning off his phone flashlight. you stopped, looking down the hall towards the room you had just come from.

"you good, hex?"

you looked at mingyu, who had worry painted over his face, and you consciously adjusted your expression, smiling back. "yeah, i'm fine. we just didn't get to open the wardrobe."

he exhaled, throwing an arm over your shoulder and pulling you into his side as the two of you followed your manager down the aisle. "good, that shit creeped me out."

you peeked over his shoulder at the doorway. "me, too."

the rest of your band was out front, gathered around the passenger seat of the van.

"i'm fine," wonpil insisted, whining. "stop babying me."

"it's swollen, pil," hyejin said, pressing a beer against his ankle in place of an ice pack, and he hissed at the cold can.

jihoon spotted you, waving as you walked up. "where did you guys disappear off to?"

"exploring," changyoon said, squatting in front of wonpil, inspecting his ankle. with how reckless and rebellious he acted, you sometimes forgot he was studying medicine. "yeah, that's definitely a sprain. we should get you to a hospital so you can get wrapped up proper."

"told you," hyejin said, shutting the cooler of beers, and wonpil stuck his tongue out at her. "mingyu, can you stick this in the trunk?"

he nodded and exhaled, picking it up, and you followed him to the back of the van where the trunk was hanging open to scan over the contents.

"hey-" you peeked around to the group. "where's my bass?"

"shit," hyejin said, looking back at the church. "i must have left it by the altar, sorry. we were in a rush to get out."

you rolled your eyes, stopping yourself from saying i told you so, closing the trunk before heading back to the entrance of the church. "don't leave without me."

"you good to go alone?"

you looked at mingyu, then nodded shortly, giving him a small smile. "i'll be fine. be right back."

you pulled open the heavy doors, looking around as you headed back up the aisle to the altar. you spotted your guitar case just where hyejin had said she left it, picking it up with your right hand and feeling a sting. you adjusted it to your other hand, pulling your finger into your vision, and you cursed when you noticed the blood gathered on the digit, the cut opening back up, about to stick it in your mouth before someone grabbed your wrist.

you jolted, expecting mingyu or changyoon to have followed you back in despite not hearing them, but you froze when you were suddenly face to face with a man you had never seen before. skin pale as the moon and hair dark as night, his hand wrapped around your wrist colder than the beer on wonpil's ankle. but the most chilling feature were his eyes - one a pinkish red, the other glowing amber, and you almost felt hypnotized by his gaze. he wore a clean suit, shirt tucked neatly into his dark slacks but unbuttoned enough to reveal his equally pale collar bones.

he breathed in heavily, eyes shutting briefly, before they opened again, hooded as he stared you down. "i'll take that," he said, his voice smooth and low, and you could only watch as he slotted your bleeding finger between his lips. you felt every hair on your body stand on end, his eyes shutting again, and you tried to make your body move. run. anything.

"delicious," he muttered, making eye contact again, his lips parting into a smirk. "thanks for letting me out of that tiny closet, i was getting bored."

you watched him lick his teeth, noticing how particularly sharp his canines were, and suddenly snapped out of it, doing the only thing you could think of, swinging your guitar case and clocking him as firmly as you could in the side of the head before sprinting as fast as you could.

"ow!" the man said, grabbing the side of his head as you ran from him. "i bit my tongue!" he watched you fly out the front door, in no real rush to catch you when he knew he could track that sweet smell anywhere, but suddenly felt a weight around his neck. his hand went to it, confused.

"let's get out of here," you said urgently to mingyu, who had been looking at his phone and leaning against the van while he waited for you to return. you quickly climbed through the door, hugging your guitar case between your knees as you buckled in.

"where's the fire, hex?" changyoon asked, laughing as he looked at you through the rearview mirror.

"can we just go?" you said, looking out the door as it closed behind mingyu, watching the church doors.

mingyu's hand found yours when the van started moving. "you okay? you look like you've seen a ghost."

"i-" you paused, swallowing as you considered what you had seen, what you had felt. and while you were pretty sure of what it had been, you were unsure of how to explain it to your friends. maybe a ghost was an easier explanation, only second to calling him a pervert. "maybe."

"you serious?" wonpil asked, spine twisting in the front seat to look at you. "you saw a ghost?"

hyejin laughed behind you. "there goes hex again, always connected to the beyond."

"i don't know what i saw," you huffed, indignant. "but i'm never going back there again."

jeonghan approached the temple he knew well, not far from the church he had been trapped in, hands tucked into his slack pockets. his eyes scanned the courtyard, searching for the man that had locked him away. "shaman, you around?"

"how did you get out?"

jeonghan jumped, spinning, finding the traditionally dressed man behind him. "how do you sneak up on me if you're just human?"

minghao whacked jeonghan in the arm with his stick, eyebrows furrowed, and the vampire flinched, letting out an annoyed ow! "you were in timeout, who let you out?"

"i dunno, some kid!" jeonghan said, rubbing his arm. "these kids were messing around in the church, one of them cut the seals."

"some kid?" minghao frowned. "don't they know how important talismans are? you were being punished."

"punished for killing a chicken because i was hungry."

minghao stuck the stick in jeonghan's face, making him jolt back. "all life is precious."

the vampire swallowed thickly. "can you explain this?"

minghao squinted at what jeonghan pointed to - the black leather buckled around his neck, silver spikes protruding. "a dog collar?"

jeonghan huffed, annoyed that someone else had confirmed his suspicion on what it was. "it just appeared. why?"

minghao leaned in, tugging at it, and jeonghan gulped as the shaman studied it closely. "it has strong energy. when? how?"

"when those kids were there, one-" he swallowed again when minghao released the collar to walk around him, studying it from all angles. "one of them had a cut on their finger."

minghao stopped, directly behind him. "you drank human blood?"

"barely!" jeonghan whined, turning to the shaman. "i just licked off what was already on the finger. i was starving, and it smelled too sweet, i couldn't resist!"

he tutted, hand rubbing over his face. "i think you may have found a witch."

jeonghan's eyes lit up, mind swimming as he thought of the implication. "a witch?"

minghao nodded, walking toward the temple. "i did some research when you arrived here. when a vampire consumes the blood of a witch, a servant-master contract is made."

jeonghan followed. "i get a blood servant?"

minghao looked at him. "you're the one with the collar, what makes you think you're the master?"

after wonpil got wrapped up at a hospital, your friends ended up back at his and changyoon's place to finish out the night, but you couldn't shake your encounter at the church, the eerie feeling you had that you had met something not quite of your world. you had a hard time even believing yourself, but every detail of that man - pale, hypnotizing eyes, sharp teeth - it all seemed too directed towards one answer.

pervert, you decided. because every other option gave you a headache.

"i'm gonna head home," you announced, grabbing your bass and shoving it back into its case. you were too distracted to have fun, and being alone sounded like a better choice at this point.

"lame," hyejin said flatly, tossing her sock in your direction from where she was lounging on the couch, mingyu nodding in and out of sleep next to her. you laughed.

"careful out there," changyoon nagged from the kitchen, making up some drink. "who knows what kinda crazies are out there for halloween."

you gave him a weak smile, waving goodbye, but not saying that you were pretty sure you were one of the crazies people should be worried about.

as soon as you stepped out onto the streetlight lit night, you dug into the inner pocket of your denim jacket as you walked down the sidewalk. you leaned your instrument against the concrete planter that you used to stop by frequently, a decent enough distance from the entrance of the apartment building, extracting a cigarette from the carton and sticking the end in your mouth before flicking your lighter on.

you sat on the edge of the planter as you took a deep drag, eyes shutting as you exhaled, trying to process the day as you shoved the lighter back into your pocket now that you were finally alone. you looked down at your hand, at the index finger that kept bleeding, and realized that it hadn't since you left the church. you inspected it closer, sticking the cigarette between you lips to pull apart the skin with both thumbs, unable to find a hint of the injury.

"hey, sweet thing."

you looked up, gasping, and pulled the cigarette from your lips to choke out the smoke. "y-you-"

he grinned, showing his sharp teeth, and your voice caught in your throat. the man you had been caught thinking about all evening was standing before you, one hand resting on a roller suitcase and the other tucked into the pocket of his slacks, a leather jacket draped over his suit coat, and wearing sunglasses despite the sun being long gone. "those things'll kill you, y'know."

you looked at the cigarette between your fingers, then back at him. "isn't that the point?"

"oh, great, they're dramatic," he said, a chuckle falling out of his lips. "i've been looking for you, by the way. you couldn't have cut yourself again to be a little easier to track?"

"why?" you said, staring at him, unsure of why you felt more at ease now than you had when you first encountered him. before, his gaze sent chills up your spine, put a rock in the pit of your stomach, but now… you couldn't explain it, but his presence felt warmer, despite knowing his skin was cold to the touch. you had always been able to read people's auras - it's what made you keep your current friend group close, knowing that despite their teasing and playful jokes, they would always have your back. this man's aura had changed completely since you ran from him in the church, and that in itself grabbed your curiosity enough to hear him out.

"because," he started. you watched him pull the hand from his jacket pocket, a long finger pulling at the black leather collar around his neck. "that little drop of blood of yours formed a contract, and i plan on making sure you fulfill it."

your eyes stayed on the collar for too long before you blinked. "what?"

he appraised you gently. "you've guessed what i am, right?" you looked away, bringing the cigarette to your lips again to take a drag, and he took the avoidance as a confirmation before continuing. "i've been trying to become human for almost three hundred years, and you're my ticket."

"how?"

he sighed out a laugh. "are you capable of doing anything other than asking single word questions?"

you huffed, shoving your free hand into a pocket and adjusting on the concrete. "yeah, but you're not making any sense. you're trying to tell me you've been alive for three hundred years."

"i've been alive for four hundred," he corrected, head cocking at you with a tired expression. he looked away, brows furrowing. "not-alive. i dunno, it's complicated to explain."

"four hundred years," you scoffed. "and you need me for what?"

he sighed, abandoning his roller case to sit beside you on the planter as he took off his sunglasses, tucking them away in his jacket, and you stiffened at his presence. "witch blood is like poison to vampires," he said, and your fingers clenched in your pocket at the blunt verification of your outlandish theory. "it takes away their power, and the more they drink, the more human they become-" he looked at you, and you kept your eyes forward as you felt his gaze on your profile. "when even the smallest drop is drank," he said, eyes landing on your knuckle. "a contract is formed. in return for the witch's blood, the vampire must offer their life in service until the contract is broken, when the witch dies or the vampire becomes human."

"vampires aren't real," you said, staring at your hands, mind reeling. "there's no way. vampires?"

his hand found yours, goosebumps running up your arm at his cold touch. "do i feel real?"

"honestly?" you let out a smileless chuckle. "not really."

he rolled his eyes, pulling your hand up to his face, placing your palm on his cheek, and you couldn't keep your eyes from him any longer. he leaned into your palm, and you were forced to reckon with the fact that he was incredibly handsome, with round eyes and a perfectly sloped nose, and you tried not to stare at his pouty lips when he spoke again. "you're being rude."

you studied him, eyes frantic as you tried to accept this new truth. "are you gonna tell me goblins and werewolves are real, too?"

he sighed, dropping your hand from his face. "maybe, but i've never met any. what about you, sweet witch? ever seen a man howl at the moon?"

you blinked again. "i'm not a witch."

"oh, contraire, master," he grinned, nudging you, shoving his hands into his pockets. "i wouldn't have this collar if you weren't."

"but i'm not," you argued, turning to him. "i get… feelings sometimes, but i don't, like-" you waved your cigarette in the air like a wand, ashing it with a flick. "cast spells, or whatever."

his eyes went to your lips as you spoke, and you tried to ignore the way your stomach flipped, taking another drag to disguise it. "there's lots of different types of witches."

you blinked at him, about to ask him to elaborate when the apartment building door swung open behind him, and you hurriedly threw your cigarette on the ground to stomp it out when you spotted who was coming out of it, waving away the smoke as you blew it out in the opposite direction. mingyu appeared in the night, sniffing at the air and looking around, immediately spotting the roller case, then you, and his eyebrow creased when he saw the man sitting by your side.

"hex?" he asked, long legs allowing him to approach quickly. "who's this?"

your eyes flicked to the vampire sat beside you, and you cleared your throat to stall. "uh-"

"jeonghan," he said, smiling up at the tall guitarist, and you stared at him. jeonghan. "and you?"

mingyu's expression was stern. "i'm their friend." he shifted his attention to you. "you want me to walk you home?"

your lips pursed before looking back at mingyu, and you gave him a close mouthed smile. the same one you always gave him when you wanted to avoid talking. "i'm okay. i left so i could chat with him for a bit."

he nodded slowly, then looked jeonghan up and down. his eyes went back to you. "call me if you need anything."

you gave him a small wave. "g'night, mingyu."

you watched mingyu stalk off, glancing back at the two of you once, and you exhaled when he was out of earshot.

"you're not a witch, but your friends call you hex?"

you planted your palms over your eyes. "it's a nickname."

"and?" jeonghan asked, smirk on his lips when you slowly revealed your eyes to look at him. "how'd you get the nickname?"

you swallowed. you usually hated explaining this to people, hated the way they looked at you like you were crazy, but considering he was claiming to be a monster of the night and that you were his witchy master, you figured there were few people that would understand better than him. "i get these feelings sometimes," you said, sighing. "like, vibes? i guess."

"vibes," jeonghan repeated, a short laugh escaping him. "kids talk so funny these days."

your eyes found his again, remembering that he had said he'd been trying to become human for hundreds of years. "premonitions," you clarified. "i can predict things easily, and i can tell when bad things are going to happen. i see things in my dreams, even."

he nodded. "is that why you always win rock paper scissors?"

you flinched, brows scrunching at him. "you heard that?"

"i mean, i was in the room," he said, pulling his hands out of his pockets. "sounds to me like you would be burned at the stake if you were from my era."

you considered that, staring down at your hands, wishing your cigarette wasn't under the sole of your boot as you remembered how you had been treated in primary school for being different. "i got burned at the stake in this era, too."

jeonghan ran his tongue over his teeth, inspecting your profile. then, he reached across you, and you were too caught off guard to say anything as he pulled the lapel of your denim jacket forward, reaching into your inner pocket. he put a cigarette between his lips as you watched, shoving the carton into his own coat before lighting it. he exhaled the smoke, away from you, then held it out for you. "three puffs, then you put it out. you're no good to me dead."

you took it, staring at him. "thanks."

he coughed shortly, sniffing and shoving his hands back into his pockets, looking away as you took a long drag. "your friends don't know you smoke?"

you watched the cherry burn as you sucked, exhaling harshly and tapping the ash away. "they think i quit a while back, but…" you thought a second, not wanting to fully get into your personal trauma with someone you met minutes before. "i've been trying, but it's been a hard month. i thought he was gonna stay longer, or else i would have waited til i got home."

"well, he definitely smelled it," jeonghan said, and you let out a short laugh. he looked at you, smiling at your giggle. "he probably thought it was me."

you looked down the street to where mingyu had walked off. "probably."

"well, master," he nudged you again. "i'll hang on to the pack. let me know when you really need one, we can pretend i'm the one with the disgusting habit."

you sucked on your cheek, inspecting his two toned eyes. "you are the one with a disgusting habit."

"what, the blood thing?" he asked, the smile on his lips being replaced by a pout, kicking out a foot and looking away from you. "it's not that disgusting."

you let out another short laugh, and he peeked back at you to watch the way your eyes curved. "you sucked my finger before you even knew my name."

his gaze ran over your face. "and what is it?"

"you said it was small!"

jeonghan had practically tripped out of his shoes to look around your loft after politely asking if he could come in, and you laughed as you pulled off your coat, pushing his roller case aside in your entry. "it is small!"

he looked back at you, eyes wide. "i've been sleeping in closets for the last fifty years."

you pursed your lips, stifling another laugh as he curiously inspected your bookshelf. you brought your guitar case into the living area, leaning it against the wall next to its stand to be dealt with later. "you were stuck in there for fifty years?"

"oh, no," jeonghan said, eyes still scanning your shelves. "i was in there for three weeks. but there's not many places someone like me can hide out during the day."

you sat down on your couch, exhaling as you watched him move on to your kitchen, touching most of the contents on the counter before leaning over to squint at the pictures on your fridge. "who sealed you in that wardrobe?"

"some stupid shaman," jeonghan muttered, glancing over to you before pulling a photostrip off the fridge. "he's been feeding me mugwort and garlic for a year. one evening with you and i'm closer to becoming human than i ever was with him. who are these people?"

you squinted, recognizing the colors of the familiar strip when he displayed it for you despite the distance. "changyoon is my foster brother, hyejin is our friend from high school. they're both in mine and mingyu's band."

"ah," jeonghan nodded slowly, wanting to ask about your foster brother, but knowing it wasn't the right time as he replaced the strip under its magnet on the fridge. "you're in a band."

"did you think i carried around a bass guitar for fun?"

he shrugged, opening cabinets to peek at the contents. "you smoke cigarettes to die and you brought a vampire slave to your apartment, so i can't be sure of any of your choices."

you sighed, unable to argue, and pulled your phone out of your pocket to check your notifications.

minnie gyugyu: did you get home okay? minnie gyugyu: who was that guy?? his eyes gave me the creeps ;; were they contacts? minnie gyugyu: where did you even meet him?

"tell him we met on bumble."

you jumped out of your skin, yelping and falling back on the couch with your limbs sprawled when you found jeonghan leaning over you, both his leather jacket and suit coat removed. "jesus christ, announce yourself!"

he stood straight, wincing and putting up his hands. "i'd appreciate it if you didn't mention him."

you stared at him, then laughed out loud when you realized what you had said, sitting up again. "don't sneak up on me!"

"i can't help it," he whined, plopping down on the couch next to you, one foot tucked under him to face you. "i have light footfall. like a cat, or something."

you eyed his pout. "you act more like a dog."

his hand when to his throat, slipping a finger into his collar. "that explains this."

you blinked at him for a moment. "how do you know what bumble is?"

he almost laughed. "i'm dead, not unaware."

"why would i tell him we met on a dating app?" you asked, leaning back on your sofa.

his lips pouted out again, crossing his arms as his eyes went across your high ceilings. "is that not the easiest explanation? a strange man suddenly enters your life and pledges to do everything you ask." he looked at you. "sounds like dating."

"wow," you breathed out. "you're four hundred years old, and you're trying to date someone in their twenties? for shame."

he laughed at that, and you caught yourself smiling at the way his fangs showed. "three hundred and ninety nine, actually," he corrected. "freshly, it was my birthday this month. and admit it, i look good for my age."

you paused. "how old were you?"

his eyes found yours, and he adjusted his posture at the question. "about as old as you are now."

"how did it happen?" you asked, studying him.

jeonghan sighed, letting his head roll back against the sofa, slyly scooting closer to you. "do we have to do this now? i'm starving."

you eyed him. "are you asking to bite me right now?"

"just a nibble," he begged, curling his legs up on the couch, grabbing your hand. "you smell so delicious, just a tiny-"

you yanked your hand from him. "are you serious? i met you today, how do i know you won't just drain me right now?"

he looked hurt, but you knew better than to fall for it. "i don't kill people. it's not my style."

"you're a vampire," you pointed out.

"you're stereotyping!" he argued, eyes big. "besides, i'm trying to become human. that's the whole point of the blood contract."

you studied him. "do you know how much you need?"

his eyes wandered. "i'm not sure, actually. someone once told me it would take a full one to kill a vampire."

"a full person's worth of blood?" you asked, shocked.

"a full witch's worth of blood."

you swallowed, still having a hard time believing that you could be such a thing. "who told you that?"

he looked at you, and you could tell he was hesitating to answer, even though he spoke with conviction. "the shaman."

you squinted. "you're lying."

"who cares who said it to me," he sighed, collapsing into the cushions. he pouted, eyes shut as he whined. "i can't believe i have to sit next to the tastiest meal i'll ever get and i'm not even allowed to have one bite."

you studied his pouting face, keeping your smile at bay. "tastiest, huh?"

he let one eye peek open, a sliver of amber watching you. "don't get a big head."

"you said it, not me." you adjusted, settling with a shoulder against the back of your couch, sitting sideways to face him. "is... witch blood that special?"

both eyes were open now, and jeonghan stared at you intently. "you have no idea."

you paused. "enlighten me."

you almost flinched when his hand reached out, fingers tangling gently with yours as he pulled it close to his face. he was inspecting the finger you had cut - the finger that had formed your contract - absentmindedly as he spoke. "i haven't been tempted by human blood in three hundred years."

you could feel your heart thumping in your chest, and you pushed down the feeling as he continued pulling your hand closer with both of his. you swallowed harshly. "what about before then?"

his eyes met yours as your palm made contact with his lips. "i don't think you're ready for that."

heat rose up your neck as he inhaled deeply. "jeonghan-"

"i'm sorry," he chuckled, and placed a kiss upon your palm before he pulled you towards him. "you smell so sweet, it's enough to make me go insane."

"i-" your eyes were wide, but you only cowered when he leaned into you. his eyes were different now. darker, and his piercing gaze made you feel small. you suddenly realized you were the prey here - even if he claimed you were his master, he was the powerful beast - strong, silent, fast - and you were but a lamb brought to slaughter.

he was only inches from you at this point, and his eyes flicked down to your mouth. "if you keep biting your lip like that, it'll bleed. and then i really won't be able to help myself."

you gasped, planting your hand over your mouth and furiously running your tongue over your bottom lip, making sure you hadn't broken skin, even if he made it very clear that you would know if you had. he smirked at you, leaning back.

"i'll stop," he said finally, stretching his back and exhaling heavily. "before that poor little heart of yours explodes."

you scoffed, indignant, avoiding his eyes as you crossed your arms and planted your back on the couch, sitting as far from him as you could. did he hear your heartbeat? had he always been able to? you cursed internally. "you're mean."

"guilty as charged," he grinned, watching you kick your feet around with a scowl on your face. "you're obviously not ready. i can wait."

you rolled your eyes, standing from the couch, feeling his eyes follow you, and you hoped he couldn't tell how hot your face felt. "i'm going to the store."

"what are you getting?" he asked.

you exhaled, gathering yourself. "pork blood. or is oxblood better?"

he jumped up, his expression completely changed. "both, please!" his hands were in fists by his face, excited, before he reached out for your hand again. "you're the best master ever."

you couldn't help but smile as you rolled your eyes again, pulling away from him. he was annoying, you thought, and he teased you too easily, but he was still cute sometimes. "you wanna come? i might be a bit, i need to get some other groceries, too."

"okay!" he chirped, rushing over to the door to pull his shoes back onto his feet, and you couldn't help but imagine him with a wagging tail, excited to go on a walk. a giggle escaped you, and he looked at you as he pushed his roller case further into the apartment to get it out of the way. "why are you laughing?"

you shook your head, grabbing your jacket again as you approached the entry to slip your own shoes on. "your mood switched so fast."

"trust me, i still want the gourmet meal," he said, and you stopped in your tracks, looking at him. the entry to your apartment was small, only leaving half a foot between the two of you as he gave you a sideways smile. "but instant ramyeon is good sometimes, too, right?"

you chewed on your cheek, trying to control your heart beat with a subtly deep breath. "give me until february."

his eyebrow quirked. "february? why so long?"

"that's when i graduate university," you said, shoving your feet into your shoes. "i need blood in my brain to pass finals, and we're playing a bunch of gigs all through winter break, but you can have some after my graduation ceremony. only a little at a time, though," you said, pointing a finger in his face. "i'm already anemic, i don't need you making me sickly."

"you're in school?" jeonghan asked, and you giggled at his shocked expression. "why didn't you say so sooner?"

"you didn't ask," you said matter of factly, opening your door. "i also have a job."

he followed you out the door, brows furrowed. "i thought you were in a band?"

"so?" you asked, making sure it locked before heading to the elevator. "i have to make money to live. i can't just bum off a shaman in the woods like some people."

jeonghan scowled at you. "not by choice," he said, crossing his arms and pouting. "so i have to be your slave with no reward until february? how humiliating."

"i didn't ask you to suck my finger," you pointed out. "it's not my fault you have bad timing."

he sighed dramatically, seemingly ignoring your accusation. "you'll be gone all day and asleep all night. how am i supposed to occupy myself?"

you stifled a laugh. "i'm sure you'll think of something."

"why haven't you come out sooner?" hyejin whined, her brows furrowed at you. "we haven't seen you since halloween."

it had been a while, you thought, at least longer than usual. ten days, maybe? you usually went out to eat with your friends at least twice a week, and you had even shown up late tonight, apologizing profusely, but it was impossible to think of an excuse that wasn't i have a vampire at home that's as needy as a puppy. "work. and school."

changyoon laughed as he grabbed another spoonful of cup noodle fried rice from the center of the table. "don't believe that for a second. did you get yourself a boyfriend?"

"hyung," mingyu warned, the back of his hand hitting the older.

you pushed your lips to one side, grabbing some of the fries that had been ordered before you arrived and shoving them in your mouth, only for hyejin to gasp.

"you did, didn't you?" she asked, grabbing your arm. "is he handsome?"

"i-" you swallowed, looking at her, then at the two boys across from you. mingyu's eyes were wide, and changyoon had a smile sneaking onto his face. "i don't-"

"holy shit," changyoon said, leaning back. "i was just teasing, but hex actually found a man."

mingyu's brows creased at you, and you cursed internally. "is it that guy?"

"what guy?" hyejin immediately asked, looking at him. she looked back at you. "there's a guy?"

"it's not-" you nearly choked, reaching for the jug of water in the center of the table to pour yourself some. "it's really not like that."

"c'mon, hex," changyoon prodded. "aren't we your friends?"

you swallowed down the water, trying to breathe. you looked around the table, and everyone was staring at you with mixed expressions. "it's just... really new."

hyejin smacked your arm. "and you didn't tell me?"

"us," changyoon corrected.

she rolled her eyes. "us, whatever."

"is it that guy?" mingyu repeated. you looked at him, and you thought he almost looked hurt.

you looked down, fiddling with a paper napkin on the table, thinking about how jeonghan had said that dating was probably the easiest explanation. "yeah, it's that guy," you said finally, voice small.

"what guy?" changyoon asked, and hyejin immediately asked mingyu if he was handsome.

"on halloween, hex was outside with some guy when i was leaving your place." mingyu leaned back in his seat, his spoon clattering on his plate when he abandoned it in favor of his beer.

"that's why you left," hyejin said, using her chopsticks to pick out fries. "where'd he take you on the first date?"

you pursed your lips. "we mostly just hang out at my place."

mingyu choked on his beer, nearly spitting it across the table as changyoon laughed at him, and hyejin whacked your arm. "you fox! i can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"not like that!" you wailed, indignant. "god, you guys are so annoying. this is why i didn't want to say anything."

"how can it not be like that?" changyoon asked, rubbing mingyu's shoulder as he recovered. "you say it's new, but you hang out at home? what else are we supposed to assume?"

you huffed, crossing your arms, looking away from them. "assume whatever you want," you pouted. "but we mostly just talk."

"what about?" hyejin asked.

you looked at her, knowing you couldn't say that you mostly talked about the last three hundred years of his life, but you tried to play off the hesitation as being offended rather than floundering for a way to not outright lie. "he asks a lot about the band. and school, because he never went to uni," you started, clearing your throat lightly. "he traveled, instead. he tells me about europe, sometimes."

"he's been to europe?" she asked. "is he foreign?"

"nah," mingyu said finally. you looked at him, and he avoided your eyes. "he's korean. jeonghan."

you blinked at him, remembering that jeonghan had given his name on halloween. you looked down. "yeah, he's korean."

"and why didn't you say anything?" changyoon asked, shoving mingyu's shoulder. "you saw them and didn't mention it once?"

"hex said it was nothing," he said, clearing his throat and looking around the restaurant. "i believed them."

that stuck with you for most of the meal, even though the other two moved on fairly quickly. and while mingyu went on to act normal for the rest of the night, he avoided looking at you, and you struggled to focus on anything else. hyejin was telling a story, something ridiculous that happened at her work, and she gesticulated too widely, knocking an empty bottle off the table.

she gasped when it shattered between the two of you, and you jumped in your seat. "shit, sorry!"

a staff member came over to clean it up right away, and when you stood to get out of the way, you noticed a thin, red string coming from your pant leg. your eyes followed it across the restaurant, where it seemingly went through the wall. your eyebrows creased, leaning over and pulling up the leg of your loose pants to inspect the source, and hyejin whined.

"oh, gosh, hex, you're bleeding! i'm so sorry."

she was right. there was a small cut on the side of your calf from the broken glass, where your pants lifted whenever you sat, and the string came directly from it. you looked up at her, her eyes focused on your leg, and you concluded that you must be the only one that could see it. "it's fine, it's barely anything," you said, and you noticed the string was moving across the wall.

"lemme see," changyoon said, leaning out of the wall booth. you rolled your eyes, but displayed your leg for him nonetheless, and he wet a napkin to wipe it clean, the string going through his hand as he did. "you'll live. should we call your boyfriend?"

"you have a boyfriend?"

your foot landed on the floor as you spun, shoulders raised. "jeonghan?"

and there he was, hands in the pockets of his leather jacket that he wore over a shirt and black jeans, and you saw the little red string tied to his collar. he had his sunglasses on again, but you could still see his round, two-toned eyes through them as he pouted at you. "when were you gonna tell me?"

hyejin laughed out loud, hands covering her face. "oh my gosh, he is handsome."

"what are you doing here?" you asked, hushed, pushing on his chest, and he grinned as he let you move him backwards, away from the table.

"got the feeling my master was hurt," he teased, winking at you as he tugged the string in his collar, and you stared at it for a moment before looking down at where it connected to your leg. "you okay?"

"i'm fine," you sighed. pulling your hands from his chest. "you can go home."

"but you're still bleeding," he said, hand grabbing your arm to keep you close, and you saw his eyes deepen before he leaned into you. he practically purred against your ear when he said "i could take care of you 'round back-"

your face burned, and you pushed him away, mortified at the way hyejin practically choked as changyoon held in his laughter. jeonghan's smile faltered for a second, doing his best to ignore your smell, the way your heart thumped, trying not to slip in front of your friends. "no, thank you! go home!"

"aw, he came all this way!" changyoon said, grabbing his beer. "you're sending him home?"

"yeah!" hyejin grinned up at you two. "why don't you join us, jeonghan! i'd love to hear about europe!"

he quirked a brow at you. "you told them i went to france?"

"i-" you swallowed. "they asked what we talk about."

"here," changyoon said, standing. "i'll take your chair, love birds can sit in the booth."

"love birds," jeonghan repeated, smirking at you as changyoon sat in your chair, swapping your utensils and glasses. "well, go ahead, sweet thing. take a seat."

you ducked your head and slid into the booth next to mingyu, who stiffened when jeonghan joined you, casually throwing an arm over your shoulder. you gave quick introductions, to which jeonghan said i know, i've seen all their pictures, which made hyejin giggle and changyoon eye you curiously. you exhaled, hands on your knees, as hyejin immediately launched into her expected interrogation.

"so, how old are you?"

"almost four hundred," jeonghan replied quickly, and you gave him a look as changyoon laughed.

"wow, hex. older men?"

"ha ha," you joked, grabbing jeonghan's knee, trying to think of a believable and acceptable age. "he's kidding. twenty-seven. can we get more soju?"

"no way," hyejin said, grinning. "born in '95?"

jeonghan blinked at her. "sure?"

"same age!" she said, holding up a hand for a high five, which jeonghan hesitantly gave her as changyoon flagged down a waiter for the soju you requested. "how did you end up going to france?"

"uh," jeonghan rubbed his chin, glancing at you. he had told you a lot about his time out of the country, but never explained how he ended up there. "kind of a long story. this foreigner sponsored me, i guess. hoping i would follow in his footsteps."

"like an apprenticeship?" she asked, fascinated. "what kind of work?"

"not really supposed to talk about it," he said, giving an apologetic smile. "sworn to secrecy. i worked for him for a while, but i didn't agree with the ethics, so i came back home."

you studied him, wondering how much of the truth was laced in his answer, and changyoon whistled.

"must have been bad if you gave up europe for it," he said.

"it…" jeonghan's eyes went across the ceiling before settling on you. he adjusted in his seat. "it was pretty bad. sometimes i wish i had never gone in the first place."

"but it was worth it, right?" hyejin asked. "i mean, you did things other than work?"

"yeah," he shrugged. "i learned french."

you looked at him. "you can speak french?"

he eyed you, a soft smile on his lips. "yeah. te rencontrer était un autre avantage."

you chewed your cheek. "what does that mean?"

"getting to meet you was also a bonus."

your eyes widened and you looked down, flustered, and hyejin squealed about how romantic it all was. mingyu scoffed beside you, leaning over his plate. you chewed your cheek. "you didn't meet me in europe."

"yeah, but i wouldn't have come to seoul if i hadn't gone there first," he said, swirling your water cup with a gentle grip of his fingers. "i would still be in my little farm town," he mused, not mentioning that he would also be long dead.

"okay, i gotta ask," changyoon said, leaning forward. "don't take this the wrong way. what's up with your eyes?"

"changyoon," you hissed, and jeonghan just put up a hand to tell you it was fine.

"i don't mind," he said, smiling at your foster brother. "my mom was albino, i got my eyes from her."

"wow," changyoon leaned back again. "albinism is pretty rare. to what extent?"

jeonghan snapped his fingers, pointing at him. "that's right, you're studying to be a doctor," he said, and changyoon gave you an impressed look as jeonghan thought for a moment. "well, she was pale, and her hair was blonde, red eyes - like me. beautiful, though. she was treated poorly because of her condition, but she's always been one of the prettiest people i've ever seen."

you studied jeonghan's profile, thinking about how he must have not just gotten his eyes from her. no one asked or clarified, for which you were grateful, but you could tell by the expressions across the table that they understood why he spoke about her in past tense, and you realized the table had fallen into silence.

"no wonder you're so good-looking," you said finally, trying to lighten the mood, grabbing your chopsticks to pick at the remaining fries. you didn't look back at him, but you could feel jeonghan smiling at you.

"you think so?" he asked teasingly, arm squeezing over your shoulder. "you always call me a dog, i figured you thought i was ugly."

changyoon laughed as you rolled your eyes. you knew he was baiting you, but you felt the need to indulge him. "you're pretty," you said succinctly, going back to eating fries as jeonghan grinned at you.

"what about work?" hyejin asked. "what do you do?"

"i'm…" jeonghan scratched the back of his head. "i'm actually in between jobs right now."

you nearly choked on your fries. you knew jeonghan hadn't worked a proper job a single day in his damned eternal life, and even though you couldn't say that to your friends, the suggestion that he had just been in between jobs made you laugh.

"stop," he whined, pulling his arm from your shoulder to push you gently. "i'm already embarrassed."

"there's no shame in that!" hyejin said, trying to defend him. "it took me ages to find my current job."

you gathered yourself, inhaling and exhaling slowly. "sorry," you said, wiping your eyes. "i wasn't expecting you to answer honestly."

he crossed his arms, pouting. "i've been honest so far, why wouldn't i be now?"

you giggled, patting his leg. your eyes flicked to the string at his collar again, unable to help the smile on your face. "sorry, jeonghan. forgive me?"

he glared at you, then exhaled, looking away. "i thought you were just stuck with me, but i guess i'm stuck with you, too."

changyoon ended up calling a cab for hyejin so she wouldn't have to take the subway slightly tipsy and alone, and after the four of you waved her off on the street, he looked at you. "band practice day after tomorrow?"

you nodded, smiling. "already have it in my schedule."

"good, i had to play bass for you last week."

you groaned, remembering how annoying changyoon acted when he had to fill in for any of you. you poked at mingyu. "sorry. i won't miss another."

he barely looked up from his phone, giving you a weak smile. "s'fine."

changyoon exhaled, throwing his arm over his shoulder "ready, big guy?"

he nodded, eyes glued to his phone. "yeah, let's go."

jeonghan ran his tongue over his teeth, studying mingyu for a moment before he put up a hand. "nice to meet you guys."

"you, too," changyoon said as they turned. "come hang out more, if you're serious about hex."

jeonghan looked at you as you waved. you peeked at him, then exhaled before spinning on your heels, heading back in the direction of your apartment. "i can't believe you came out."

"you were bleeding," he reminded you, falling into step beside you with his hands in his pockets. "you're my master, i'm supposed to protect you from danger."

"i wasn't in danger," you pouted. "it was just a soju bottle."

"but what if it had been worse," he pointed out, and you sighed when he stuck out his elbow, giving you room to link your arm with his. you had enough drinks to accept the offer, and your cheek landed on his shoulder for a moment as the two of you walked. "no matter what, if you get hurt, i'll come running."

you smiled lightly, pulling him down an offshoot in the pavement to walk through a park instead of on the commercial street. "just because you want a taste."

"okay, maybe," he said, and you laughed. he smiled along with you. "but against my better judgment, i'm also starting to really care about you."

you considered that a moment, thinking about how he had mentioned things tonight that he hadn't yet in your lengthy conversations about his long life. how he had never told you about his mother, even when you had told him about yours. how your parents had been taken from you too young, even if you hadn't revealed details, and how changyoon's family had fostered you until you came of age. "i care about you, too, y'know." you looked over to him. "you don't have to now, but i hope you'll be able to share more of your burden with me in the future."

he studied you in the moonlight when you looked forward, then let out a light chuckle. "you're a sixteenth my age, how did you learn to be so kind?"

you sighed. "when you spend most of your life feeling alone," you said, voice small, squeezing his arm gently. "i suppose you can tell when others feel that way, too."

jeonghan looked down at his feet, and you both allowed the silence, taking in the mixed sounds of city and nature as you wandered the park path that served as a shortcut to your apartment building.

"can i have a smoke?"

he looked at you, fishing in his pocket. "do i stress you out?"

"yes," you giggled, taking a cigarette from the pack as he held it open for you. "nah, drinking always makes me wanna smoke. old habits, i guess."

you held your hand out for the lighter after putting the cigarette between your lips, but jeonghan flicked it himself, cupping his hand next to your face to keep the wind from blowing out the flame as he lit it for you. you looked at his face as you puffed, then down at the tip to make sure it lit fully before pulling it from your lips, blowing the smoke away.

"thank you," you said, bringing it to your lips again to pull a real drag, exhaling happily as he shoved the lighter back in his pocket. you made a face down at the cigarette. "these don't taste as good as i remember."

"that's a good sign," jeonghan said, nudging you with his elbow, and you gave him a suspicious look. he laughed. "you're getting used to not smoking them."

you thought about that. you had asked him for one since halloween, when you had come home late from work and needed to rant about a shitty customer, and he sat dutifully beside you outside your apartment as you sucked it down, practically in tears over how frustrated you were. tonight, though, it was just habitual - the many times you had stepped out of bars into cool nights to have a smoke gave you a pavlovian response of some sorts, leaving you to succumb to your oral fixation whenever you were tipsy in the cold. you looked at jeonghan again, thinking about how many times you had tried to quit smoking in the months prior to his appearance in your life, but this felt the most promising, and it had only been ten days. you hooked your arm in his again, looking out to the night.

"hey," you prompted suddenly, blowing smoke away. "why can't you go in the sun?"

he eyed you. "it hurts," he said. "like a sunburn, but worse and more immediate."

you squinted. "are you sure it's not because you sparkle?"

"oh-kay," he said, dropping your arm from his as you giggled, trying to keep your hold on him. "you did not just compare me to that shitty book."

"so you've read it," you accused, and he looked at you, annoyed.

"absolutely not. why would i read sensationalist teen fiction fetishizing my kind written by a white woman?"

you laughed even harder at that, and jeonghan caught himself smiling at the way you had to cling to him to stay upright, your cigarette barely staying between your fingers as you lost motor control.

"there's only three vampires of color in that book, by the way," he continued, and while he sounded annoyed, you could tell he enjoyed having someone to complain to about it, and he especially liked your reaction. "one of them is evil. that's pretty fucked up."

"you're right," you agreed, eyebrows knit as you looked at him, clutching his arm. you took a quick puff. "that is fucked up. where's the asian vampire heartthrob representation? screw edward cullen, i wanna see chwe eunwool."

he laughed with you that time, and you almost started to feel lightheaded with laughter, though the nicotine and alcohol in your system surely didn't help. jeonghan noticed, not because you showed it outwardly, but because your blood was pumping harder than before, and he let his gaze run to the red string coming from your leg. the scent of your blood had been difficult to ignore at the restaurant, but it had stopped bleeding by now. even so, he stared at it for a long moment, remembering that first taste he had gotten of your sweet blood, and he had to swallow before he spoke. "i should take care of that."

you looked to him, then followed his gaze down. you sighed. "you can't wait til we get home?"

"i've waited this long," he teased, grinning at you, and you just rolled your eyes. "no one's around."

you looked around in the dark. "how do you know?"

"i can hear," he said, as though it were obvious. "there's a bench, if you wanna take a seat."

you pouted at him a moment, then unhooked your arm to march over to the bench, taking one last drag, and he laughed as he followed. you put out your cigarette in the sand pit on the trash bin by the bench and plopped down onto the wood, head spinning slightly at the sudden altitude change, and jeonghan put a cold hand on your forehead. you sighed.

"feel good?" he asked, and you just nodded. "you're warm."

"i may hold it well," you said, dragging his hand down to your hot cheek to look up at him. "but i drank a lot."

he smiled at you fondly, his thumb stroking over your cheekbone. "you are holding it very well."

you sucked on your teeth. "if you drank my blood right now, would you get drunk, too?"

jeonghan laughed, kneeling in front of you. "maybe. shall i check?"

"i thought you were just gonna help it heal," you said, pouting.

he exhaled a chuckle. "i'm just teasing. i said i'd wait until you graduate, i'll keep my word." he placed a gentle kiss on your knee, and even through your loose pants, you could feel the cold touch of his lips.

"you could have a little," you offered quietly, and he looked up at you as he pulled the leg of your pants up, studying your expression.

"wow, you must have drank a lot."

you huffed, looking away. "nevermind, then."

he chuckled, the exhale of his breath sending chills up your body when it landed on your calf as he brought it up to his lips. sometimes, you were able to forget that he stuck around because he needed your blood - wanted it, too, it seemed. sometimes it felt like he actually spent time with you just for your company, but you winced when you felt his tongue run against the cut, and you were reminded again that there was a contract that kept him tethered to you, even when the string between the two of you faded as your small injury sealed itself with his kiss.

he hummed, looking up to you slowly. "having a taste out in the open like this," he said, licking his bottom lip. "you're even more delicious than before."

you jolted, your foot landing on the ground as you sat up straight, heat rushing to your face. "my first impression of you was right," you huffed, crossing your arms and looking away. "you are a pervert."

he couldn't help the laugh that exploded out of him, and his eyes looked dreamy as he inspected your face. "and now your blood is rushing to the surface," he said, moving to sit beside you on the bench and pulling you toward him. you faltered, suddenly face to face, his cold fingers curled around your jaw. his eyes closed and his forehead landed on yours as he controlled his breathing. "you're lucky i have great self control."

your heart pounded in your chest, and you wondered if that was adding to his struggle. you silently thought that with all he put you through, he deserved the difficulty he caused himself. "you're the one that makes it beat like that."

his eyes opened, and you looked at him sheepishly, your eyes landing on his lips. he winced, pulling away suddenly, and you blinked yourself out of your trance. "we should get home," he said, and you hid your disappointment as well as you could as he pulled you to your feet, wondering if he was only ever tempted by you for your blood. if it was okay for you to feel this way about a man like him, who only needed you for what ran through your veins.

jeonghan said nothing, but without the distraction of your sweet scent, he noticed a new smell, not too far off - the familiar stench of blood being spilt in excess, and he put an arm around your shoulders the entire way back to your apartment, senses on high alert.

you were in a cold, dark room, curled up on the stone floor. your body ached, and your wrists felt heavy. you looked around, seeing bandages across them, and while they weren't bloodsoaked, you could feel the injury they covered, and you wondered if you had done that to yourself, or if someone else had tried to kill you. your skin felt tight against bone - dehydrated, you were pretty sure. a door suddenly opened, and you winced at the candle light, shielding your eyes from the tall man that entered. he was a foreigner and notably well off, you could tell, with long blonde hair tied back neatly. or perhaps you were the foreigner in this dream?

"have you changed your mind yet?"

you choked, unable to answer. your throat was dry, parched, and your stomach hurt in a way you had never experienced. how long had you been starving before this point?

the man tossed a loaf of bread your way, and though you wanted to reach for it, your body didn't move. you looked down, hiding your eyes from his gaze, and realized your body wasn't your own, nor were your actions. was this someone else's memory? it must have been, you thought, and you willed yourself to keep your eyes from him, but he reached down and grabbed you by your jaw.

"don't ignore me, darling," he hissed, and you saw that his eyes glowed amber, a color you had only seen on jeonghan. "you can't ignore your fate."

"just let me die," you choked out, and your heart sank when you recognized the voice. tears welled in your eyes when his grip grew firmer.

"admit it," the man spat. "you don't want to die. you just want to kill them, like they killed her." his sharp teeth shone behind curled lips. "i can help you."

you jolted awake, gasping for air, and your hand immediately went to your throat, expecting the cold touch that had been there only moments before. there was a weight on you, and you sat up, finding that jeonghan had curled himself around you in your sleep. he mumbled and stirred with your movement.

you stared at him. "i thought you slept standing."

he stretched. "nights are too long in the winter, i wanted a nap and you always smell so goo-" he interrupted himself with a yawn and smacked his lips twice, then furrowed his brows when he focused on your face. he sat up immediately. "what's wrong? nightmare?"

you didn't realize you were crying until his hand went to your face, his cold thumbs wiping away the tears. he had been with you for nearly a month now, hiding away in your apartment while you went about your daily life, and it would be a flat out lie if you said coming home to him wasn't the best part of your day. but with his increased presence in your life, it was no wonder you had tapped into his past. you swallowed. "i think it was a memory."

"a memory?" he asked, studying your eyes. "yours?"

you shook your head, and he must have realized what that meant. his shoulder slumped slightly, and you grabbed his hand from your cheek. "it was in a cell. who-" you paused, swallowing. you had so many questions. "he said he could h-help you kill..."

jeonghan turned from you completely, hand dropping to your lap, eyes scanning across your duvet. "is this what you meant when you said you saw things in your dreams?"

"i'm sorry," you choked, and you wrapped your arms around him, your cheek landing on his shoulder. "you don't have to talk about it. i'm sorry."

"he's my sire," he said flatly, and you froze against him. "he found me bleeding out in the woods of my hometown and took me prisoner."

your thumb made circular motions on his arm, not letting go of your grip around him. the foreigner that wanted him to follow in his footsteps. "how long?"

"i don't know," he admitted. "it felt like so long, but i don't know. months? a year, maybe?"

your grip around him tightened. "i'm so sorry."

"how much did you see?" he asked softly, his hand finding your knee through the blankets.

"enough to know it was hell," you said, pulling away finally. you sniffed harshly, wiping at your face. his eyes met yours, and you chewed your lip. "he turned you against your will, didn't he?"

jeonghan looked away again, exhaling, grateful that you hadn't seen the answer for yourself. "he did."

you looked down at his hand, watching it grip you gently. "is that why you want to turn back? because you didn't want it in the first place?"

he paused. "partly."

your eyes went back to his profile. "who was he talking-"

"that's enough," he said, sniffing harshly. "we can discuss it another time."

"o-of course," you said hastily. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to push-"

"it's not your fault," he said, glancing at you. "you saw it, you're right to have questions. i just don't think i can answer any more right now."

you nodded, landing your forehead on his shoulder. "take your time. if you can wait for me, i can wait for you."

jeonghan exhaled, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you back down into your bed. you adjusted, squirming until you could comfortably curl into his side, and he put his cheek on your head. he wondered if he could just hear your heart beating, or if his was, too. "you're so special," he said finally.

you paused, unable to think of a response for a moment. "i'm not that special."

"but you are," he said, hand running up your arm. his eyes shut as he tried to remember if he had ever felt this comforted before, even before he had turned. even before she had been taken from him. "i'm nothing but a cold blooded monster, and yet you make my chest warm."

you came home later than usual, caught up at the library with changyoon studying for your finals without the distraction of your new vampire roommate, and the first thing you noticed when you opened your door was the sound of your bass.

"i'm home," you announced as you entered the living room, and jeonghan smiled at you from his cross legged seat on the couch when he paused his playing.

"welcome back," he said, setting your bass on its stand as he approached you, wrapping you in a hug. "done studying for today?"

you nodded, exhaling into the embrace. "i didn't know you played."

"i tried it back in the seventies," he said when he pulled away. "it's been a while, so i'm a little rusty."

"you sounded good," you said, smiling as you went to the kitchen to wash your hands. you looked at the tv, on but muted, and read the lower third on the news report - something about the body of a murder suspect waiting for trial being found. you squinted at it. "what's that?"

jeonghan glanced at the screen. "that guy," he said, looking back at you. "the one that killed that kid in gangnam. he was found dead in his apartment."

your brow ruffled, remembering the case - he had been from an affluent enough family to pay bail, and it seemed like he was going to get charged for manslaughter instead of murder, despite the general public believing otherwise. "suicide?"

he cocked his head at the tv. "not sure."

you sighed, deciding to maintain your appetite by changing the subject. you had just spent the last four hours studying your criminal pathology practice test, you didn't need it to be your focus at home, too. "have you eaten?"

he shook his head as he followed. "i was waiting to eat with you."

you hummed, opening up your fridge. "i'm craving kimchi stew. are you willing to wait for soondae?"

his eyes got big, and you giggled when he said of course. you set a large pot of water to boil on the back burner of your induction cooktop and your small earthware on the front, and jeonghan chatted with you, asking about your day as he watched you cook.

you had spent so long living alone, it had been an adjustment to have someone home with you every day. but these days, you barely remembered what it was like before jeonghan was in your life, leaning against your wall or sat at your kitchen counter as he made you laugh.

you were quickly chopping green onions when you nicked the tip of your thumb, and you had barely pulled it to your face to check it before jeonghan's gentle grip was on your wrist, naturally spinning you until your back was to the counter, and you stared at him as he inspected the cut. this was normal at this point, his immediate appearance whenever you got little cuts or scratches, but your chest still fluttered when he was this close to you.

"dessert before breakfast?" he asked, his eyes meeting yours as he pressed a gentle kiss on your knuckles. "you should really be more careful, you'll spoil me rotten."

you could only watch as he placed your thumb in his mouth, and you were overly conscious of the way his hands landed on the counter at your hips. you let your fingers rest on his cheek as you felt his tongue swipe against the cut, the familiar sting before his saliva healed it, and you were left studying his hooded eyes as you lifted your other hand to his face.

"jeonghan…"

your thumb pulled from his lips with a pop, and he licked them before saying, "yes, master?"

you swallowed. "would it be wrong for me to like you?"

jeonghan faltered for just a moment, wondering if it was better to let you believe that he was just drunk on your taste, your smell. if he would be able to admit to even himself that his heart beat for you the same way yours did for him. and while he wasn't sure he could, he leaned into you, watching your eyes flutter shut as he approached, and he paused only to say, "we would probably both be in the wrong."

then, his lips were on yours, and your hands skated to his nape as his found your hips, his cold body flush against your hot one. when he pulled back, leaving only for him to stare at your soft, warm lips, you chased after him, leaving gentle pecks against him, and his chest swelled in a way that almost hurt - unfamiliar, a feeling he wasn't even sure he was capable of the last time he had been this close to someone.

"you're too sweet," he muttered, practically panting and his eyes shutting as his forehead landed on yours, trying to control the urge to sink his teeth into you, to drink the color from your lips. "i might be addicted."

you studied him, your fingers combing against his scalp as he exhaled. "at least you have an excuse."

his eyes opened, and you thought you could see the slightest tinge of red at the top of his amber iris, but you were soon distracted when he kissed you again, gentler, sweeter. and when his lips slowly pulled from yours, he ran a hand up your back as he said, "i think this is different."

it snowed the next day, and you stared out the window as jeonghan slept in your bed instead of his usual place in your closet. you decided to stay home that day, too endeared by the way he curled up on your mattress to tell him you were headed back to the library, but you had taken a quick break from studying to watch the snow drift to the ground through a foot tall gap in the window covering, lost in thought over what he had meant by different.

you finally finished your finals. you had pulled an all nighter studying before grabbing a coffee and heading off to your last two exams at nine in the morning, promptly passing out as soon as you got home six hours later.

jeonghan woke up around eight, stretching as he stepped out of your floor to ceiling wardrobe, eyes immediately catching you in bed. he checked the clock, about to approach you so you didn't ruin your sleep schedule, but when he saw the way your cheek squished against your pillow, phone haphazardly thrown on the mattress beside you, he just chewed his cheek and pulled your duvet up to cover you better. you adjusted, letting out a little noise followed by a soft sigh, and jeonghan had to turn away and cover his face to avoid blurting out how cute you were.

he took his time selecting a book off your bookshelf, reading the synopsis and quickly nodding. he had always enjoyed reading - once as an escape, but now, it was a hobby he had picked up to fill the time while you were gone or asleep, and the books you had were much more enjoyable than anything he had gotten his hands on back in the day. he made his way back up the stairs and snuck his way into the empty space beside you on your bed, laying with his head on your spare pillow. his eyes were on you as he flipped open the book, the pages slipping from his thumb and slapping against each other louder than he intended, and he froze when you adjusted. but you just scooted closer to him, your fingers gently resting on his arm as you snuggled down into your duvet, and he, again, struggled to keep a straight face.

he read for a couple hours, and when you adjusted again, inhaling, he set the book aside and rolled over, asking you how you thought your exams went.

"i'm confident," you exhaled, rubbing your face. "i was worried about chemistry going in, but it was easier than i expected."

he grinned, his torso fully on top of yours. "i knew you had it in the bag."

you smiled, hands landing on his cheeks. "thanks."

"so," he said, fingers gently running across your jaw, and you adjusted to cock your head as you looked up at him. his gaze ran across your features, settling on your eyes as his lip caught between his teeth. "since you don't have anything going on tomorrow…"

"don't tell me you want a drink."

jeonghan scoffed, indignant, making you giggle. "i said i would wait!"

you cupped his cheeks with your hands, the laughter still on your lips. "you were making that face. the one you always make when you're hungry."

"i'm not hungry," he pouted, then looked to the side. "well, i am, but that's not what i was gonna ask."

that made you giggle again. "what is it, then?"

he stared at you a minute, then looked away again. "i thought we could go somewhere tonight. to celebrate."

"go somewhere?" you asked, a sideways smile on your lips. "are you asking me out?"

he sighed, annoyed, and rolled off you. "i'm gonna go eat."

you giggled, flipping off your covers and stretching before you followed him down your stairs. "i moved some pork blood from the freezer before i left this morning."

he glanced up at you, trying to hide his reaction. "that was nice of you."

"you're allowed to say thank you," you said, skipping down the steps and throwing your arms over his shoulders, letting your feet drag behind you as you clung to him. he barely faltered as he walked to the fridge, but his hands went to your arms to keep them in place as he did. despite looking thin (and fragile, though he would probably kill you if you said it out loud), his occult nature made him stronger than anyone you had met, allowing him to carry your weight without even exerting himself on many occasions, much to your surprise.

he exhaled as he opened the fridge, spotting the jelly-like blood. "if you're gonna do this, jump on. it's hard to balance when you're dead weight."

"rude," you said, standing upright and letting go of him. he watched you as you grabbed a ramen pot out of your cupboard to fill with water, and he tried not to smile when you muttered "you're the dead one."

after getting a dish and a spoon, he placed a kiss on your cheek as he walked by, headed to the table in your living room. "thanks for the meal."

you smiled after him as you tore open a packet of instant ramen. "eat well."

you did, too, slurping down your celebratory ramen as jeonghan ate the congealed red jelly across from you. he let his spoon linger in his mouth a second after he finished, watching you drink the broth. you exhaled happily, dropping your chopsticks into the pot and leaned back on your hands.

"where would you wanna go?"

his eyebrow quirked, and he dropped the spoon from his mouth. "where?"

"you said you wanted to go somewhere tonight," you said, grabbing the roll of tissue you left on the table to wipe your mouth clean. "where were you thinking?"

his fist landed gently on the table, the metal spoon in it making a soft clanking noise against the wood, and he rubbed his face with the other hand. "i had a couple ideas."

you waited for him to look back at you, his fingers twirling the spoon in his grasp. "go ahead," you prompted.

he studied you, then let a smile sneak across his lips. "aren't surprises more fun?"

you agreed, but after you had cleaned up your place, taken a shower, and gotten dressed - warm, as was his request - he dragged you to the roof of your building, and you faltered. "jeonghan, i tend to avoid rooftops-"

he held your hand, giving you his biggest puppy eyes. "trust me?"

you stuttered, trying to figure out how to explain that it had nothing to do with your trust in him and everything to do with your trust in yourself, and you yelped when he scooped you into his arms and stepped to the edge of the building.

"don't look down," he warned, and you could only stare at him in shock as two bat-like wings folded out from his back.

"wait wait-wait!" you squealed as he leaped off the building, and your arms wrapped around his neck as your eyes squeezed shut, legs curling into your chest with his arm securely under your knees. "jeonghan!"

he laughed, and you could feel the wind whipping past. "you're not scared of heights, are you?"

you pushed your face into his neck. "it's falling that scares me."

"i won't let you fall," he muttered into your ear, and you slowly pried your eyes open. "relax a little, you're harder to carry when you're tense.

you took a deep breath, focusing on him as you tried to loosen your muscles, and he gave you a quick smile. the air was cleaner up here, you realized - cold, but refreshing, and it almost felt like you had been trapped inside for days with how good it made you feel. "you didn't tell me you could fly."

"you didn't ask," he said, and you would have smacked him if you weren't so focused on keeping your grip around his neck. "the city's pretty from up here, if you think you can handle it."

"i'll keep my eyes on you, thanks."

when jeonghan finally landed, it was on an unoccupied terrace of a hotel, close to the coast. "we'll have to walk the rest of the way," he said, setting you down on your feet. "it's usually busy out there during the weekends."

your knees wobbled slightly, and you grabbed his arm as you breathed. "warn me next time."

"yes, master," he said, grinning at you as he pulled open the door to the elevators, gesturing for you to enter before him.

by the time the two of you were on the street, you had fully gathered yourself, and jeonghan nudged you.

"you okay?"

you noticed his hand turning something over in his pocket, and you realized it had been over a week since you had asked him for a cigarette. you exhaled slowly, grabbing his elbow and pulling his hand from his pocket, where he abandoned your lighter. "yeah, i'm okay."

he laced his fingers with yours, still studying you. "sorry for scaring you."

you shook your head, smiling at him. "you don't scare me, jeonghan."

"right," he said, squeezing your hand. "it's falling that scares you."

you thought for a second, tempted to correct him, say that it was actually yourself that scared you the most, but you looked up at the night sky as the two of you walked to the pier, and exhaled with a smile on your lips. "in that case, maybe you do scare me."

jeonghan didn't say anything, but he thought that if he had a fear of falling, the feeling of your warm hand in his would trigger that in him, too. he always hesitated to admit such things to you, because the first and last time he thought he might have been in love, his judgment had been clouded by other factors, some of the same factors that drew him to you. deep down, he knew it must have been real this time, but his only true fear was that this feeling he had for you would end in a worse tragedy than the one previous.

the ocean air felt healing, and you exhaled happily as the two of you leaned against the railing on the boardwalk. there was a moment of silence, and suddenly you yelled out to the ocean.

jeonghan jumped, laughing at your meaningless wail, and looked around briefly at the attention you had garnered. "what was that for?"

you giggled, looking at him. "i've been too stressed lately. this felt like the right place to let it out."

he rolled his eyes. "have you always been like this?"

"unfortunately," you said, sighing, and you turned your head slightly when you heard someone talking about jeonghan. you didn't look, but they said something about that handsome guy, asking their friend do you think they're a couple? only to get a response of no way, he's too good looking.

you pursed your lips, scooting slightly closer to where his arms were crossed over the railing, and he let out another laugh. "wanna show off that i'm yours?"

you looked the opposite direction. "no."

"aw, master's so cute," he cooed, wrapping his arms around you and smooching your cheek. "don't listen to them, they're just jealous of how delicious you look."

of course he had heard them, too, and you tried to hide the heat on your face at the realization that you had been caught acting jealous, when you weren't even in a relationship. sure, he took care of you, but he did that because you were his master, and offering his hand or arm for you to hold felt more like an excuse to keep you from wandering off than anything else. even the kiss you had shared, and the few times he pressed his lips against your cheek… you weren't sure of his intentions. if he was just obsessed with your blood - his most frequent compliments were that you smelled good and looked delicious - or if there was the possibility that he saw you the same way you saw him, with rose tinted glasses and a bokeh effect, fracturing lights into hearts in your vision every time you looked at him. were vampires even capable of such complex human emotions?

"stop thinking about me, unless you want me to lower your blood pressure for you."

you puffed out your cheeks and glared at him, making him laugh. you looked away, out to the ocean, as you grabbed his hands and pressed them to your face, trying to cool it. he held back another laugh, studying the way your cheeks were cupped in his cold hands, and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. you sighed, finally catching his gaze as you chewed your lip.

he smiled when he overheard another whisper. "they think i'm your boyfriend now."

a tiny smile snuck onto your face before you could catch it, and jeonghan grinned at you when you consciously changed your expression, pulling from his grasp to put your arms on the railing, staring out at the ocean again. "you aren't."

"but everyone thinks i am," he said, an arm casually draping over your shoulder as he stood beside you. "even your brother."

"foster brother," you corrected, and looked down at the surface of the water. it was far, and though it wasn't deep just below you, it went all the way out to sea. you knew china was on the other side of this particular body of water, but if you swam far enough, you would end up in the pacific. you remembered how often that thought floated through your mind when you were younger. "i wish i could tell him the truth, but he doesn't believe in this kinda stuff."

jeonghan sucked on his cheek. "you didn't either, when i first spoke to you."

"i didn't believe in vampires," you agreed. "but he doesn't even believe my premonitions."

"your vibes," jeonghan nodded. you let out a short laugh, and he smiled at your profile, eyes following your gaze to the water. "why are you lost in thought?"

you shook your head, taking a breath and moving your eyes to the horizon. "i used to come here a lot in high school. fantasize about swimming out to sea and never coming back."

he took your hand in his, pulling it to his lips and pressing a kiss to your knuckles. "you had a hard time, i'm sorry."

you usually minimized how much you struggled when you were young, played it off, pretended you were okay, even when you lost your parents. the flood of those memories brought on by your night made your eyes well slightly, and you thought you wouldn't be able to hide it from jeonghan even if you tried. "i did."

he studied you, placing another kiss on the back of your hand. "do you want to talk about it?"

you inhaled, looking around the boardwalk and spotting a bench in a mostly unoccupied area. you looked at jeonghan, nodding your head towards it. "shall we sit?"

primary school was hard for you. you were too young to understand that people ostracized those who were different. that many parents passed on the learned behavior of judgment and shame onto their children, and the smarter they were, the faster they caught on. your mother had always had dreams she couldn't explain, visions of things before they happened, and oftentimes, it allowed your parents to steer your family towards fortune. she told you that your differences were what made you beautiful, and you had believed her. but when you told a girl at school that she should stop chasing after a boy, having a bad feeling about what would happen when she confessed, she accused you of having a crush on him, too.

"n-no," you said, backing up slightly. "i j-just don't want you t-to get hurt."

"a stutter, too?" she scoffed at you. "worry about yourself, you weirdo. he'll never like you back, leave it alone."

children were cruel. and when that boy you had a bad feeling about pushed her down into the mud, she blamed you. and so did her friends. and soon, so did the rest of your class, the opinion becoming fact, and the fact becoming legacy.

you were ten when that same girl was shoving you down onto the pavement after school, when you were just trying to walk home. you hissed, your knees bloodied from the fall, and her friend kicked you to your side, telling you to look at them when they spoke to you.

"look how pathetic, sooah," she laughed. "can't even make eye contact."

you swallowed, looking up after you managed to sit on the pavement, your hands behind you for support. "y-yes i c-can."

sooah laughed at you, kicking aside your bookbag and letting the contents spill over the pavement. "ugly and a stutter. no wonder your parents never show up to school fairs, they must be embarrassed by you."

"th-they-" you swallowed. "my dad, h-he travels-"

"whatever, stutter," sooah said. "tell whatever lies keep you alive, that way we can keep kicking you to the curb."

"hey!" you winced, shoulders curling at the new voice. "leave them alone!"

"let's get out of here," sooah said, grabbing the arm of one of her friends before stepping on your notebooks as they ran off.

"you fuckin punks! jesus christ. are you okay?"

you looked up at the hand extended in front of you, then at the boy it was connected to. he wore a middle school uniform, and you were stuck blinking up at him.

"are you deaf?" he asked, crouching in front of you.

you shook your head. "s-sorry-"

"those stupid girls are the ones that should be sorry," he said, starting to gather your things. you moved to grab your bag, holding it open as he brushed the dirt off your notebooks and deposited them into it. "are you okay?"

you sniffed, rubbing the tears off your face. "yeah."

"i'm changyoon," he said after he helped you to your feet as you told him your name. "don't you have anyone to walk home with? friends? siblings?"

you shook your head, kneading your hands together, and he looked around before sighing

"i'll walk you home," he decided, putting an arm over your shoulder. "i'll be your big brother, okay? tell me if anyone's bugging you, and i'll beat them up."

the bullying never stopped, but he made it easier to deal with, walking home with you most days. he wasn't able to protect you in class, though, and your bullies took note.

changyoon's family was kind to you, taking care of you when your parents were away for business. your father was professionally successful, and with his job, he often had to attend dinners and meetings late into the night. your mother would appear as his wife, of course, and she once asked if you had any friends that you could have a sleepover with while they went out.

"i-i have one," you said sheepishly, and when she pressed, you told her about changyoon.

"a boy?" she asked. "is he in your class?"

you shook your head. "he g-goes to the middle school n-nearby."

she studied you, thinking about all the times you had come home with bruises and scrapes, insisting that you had fallen on your own, even though both of you knew she knew the truth. that she saw those girls in her dreams the same way you did. "does he take good care of you?"

you nodded, and she put a kiss on the top of your head, asking if you knew his mother's phone number.

on nights where your parents were unsure of when they would come home, they sent you to the kim household with some folded cash, and you always dutifully told changyoon's mother that your parents said it was for the trouble. she would call your mother to let you know that you arrived, but send you up to changyoon's room without taking the money from you with a wink and a finger over her lips.

you hated feeling alone, so even when you were old enough to stay home when they had dinners, you usually asked changyoon if you could come over anyways. on one such night, while the two of you attended the same high school, you sat straight up in bed, trying to catch your breath, your face already stained with tears. you looked over the edge of changyoon's bed, crawling off it to where he was laying on the cot in the middle of his room, blankets haphazard around his sprawled body.

"changyoon!" you cried, shaking him awake, and he blinked the sleep out of his eyes as he registered your choked sobs. "c-changyoon, i-i think something happened…"

changyoon's mother held your hand at the funeral. a car crash - they got t-boned at an intersection by a drunk driver. your mother died on impact, but your father died in hospital, and he wasn't even able to speak to you before he passed. people you didn't know offered you their condolences - people your father worked with, surely, but you had never met - and you felt numb as you accepted them, waiting for the day to end so you could crawl into bed and let yourself cry until the sun rose again.

you were laying on changyoon's bed a week later with his dog asleep at your feet, officially moved into his home after you were left alone in yours, staring at the ceiling as he played some game on his computer. you chewed your cheek. "changyoon?"

he glanced over at you as he played. "yeah?"

you took a deep breath, eyes trained on the ceiling as tears welled in them. "do you think i'm cursed?"

he instantly moved from his computer, abandoning the game. "i don't believe in that stuff."

you looked at him as he approached, nudging your side with the back of his hand so you would scoot over to make room for him. "what do you mean?"

"curses, and whatever," he said, laying out next to you. "i don't believe that stuff. things just happen sometimes, and it's out of our control."

you thought about that a moment, and you figured that was one way to find comfort.

it took you a month or so to run out of patience. the outright bullying had turned to an abundance of whispers, always too close and too loud to be out of earshot. that you were an orphan, rumors about how your parents would run off regularly to avoid staying with you. hints that you were at fault. if they can see the future, why didn't they save their parents?

you left in the middle of class with the excuse that you needed to use the restroom, but walked in the opposite direction, headed to the stairs that led to the roof. the air was cold and refreshing, and you felt a kind of clarity for the first time since your parents had died, staring out over the edge of the building.

changyoon was heading back to his class from the bathroom with the hall pass spinning around his finger when he spotted you all the way down the hall, going up the stairs. his brow ruffled, catching the carved wood pass and looking around before deciding to follow you.

he was glad he did when he found you standing on the raised edge of the roof, instantly running towards you and yelling out your name.

you spun, face puffy from crying, and he grabbed your hand, pulling you off the ledge before you could fall back.

"i'm sorry," he said, catching you in his arms and hugging you close as you both shook with sobs. "i'm so sorry."

you choked, hands grasping the back of his uniform as you buried your face in his shoulder. "i'm so tired, changyoon. i can't do this anymore."

"i know," he cried, not letting go. "i'm sorry, i'm being selfish, but please," he tightened his hold. "please, even if you feel like you can't continue, please keep living for me."

jeonghan's hand was clasped tight around yours, and you inhaled sharply, staring out at the water. "he made me promise. we don't break promises."

he watched you, almost shocked that the tears in your eyes hadn't fallen. "i'm glad you have him."

a small smile found your face, and you turned towards jeonghan. "me, too. he ended up introducing me to hyejin, and her and mingyu's families are neighbors. we all got pretty close." you sighed, thumb running over the back of jeonghan's hand. "then he had the idea to form the band after he made some more friends in college."

"what about you?"

you gave him a puzzled look. "what about me?"

"you made more friends?" he asked. "the other guys in your band, i know, but anyone else?"

you blinked. "not really," you admitted. "but i'm okay with that. they're practically my family," you said, smiling. "they make it easier. less lonely."

jeonghan looked down, eyes running over your hand in his. "i'm sorry about your parents."

you exhaled. "thank you."

"you only stayed with changyoon's family until you came of age," he remembered, and you looked to him, realizing he had recalled the information from one of your earliest conversations. "where did you go after that?"

"well," you started, looking out to the water again. "i got access to my inheritance, so i used a little for a deposit on an officetel, but i honestly didn't want to touch most of it." you swallowed, peeking at him. "then i decided to work for a while because i bombed my college entrance exam."

jeonghan stifled a laugh, and you let go of his hand to punch his thigh repeatedly. "sorr- ow! sorry!"

you giggled. "have you even tried to go to uni?" you asked, accusatory. "it's hard!"

"i haven't," he said, laughing and taking your hand again. "i don't really have a way to apply even if i wanted to. no identity."

you stared at him. "i didn't think about that."

he sighed, a smile on his lips. "just a drifter. but i like it this way, not being on record. it's true freedom."

"that's an interesting perspective," you decided, then studied him. he gave your hand a squeeze and looked out to the ocean.

"i lost someone, too. back when i was human."

you swallowed. "i'm sorry."

he shook his head. "it's been so long, i've done my healing. but my love for her will never fade."

you looked down, chastising yourself for feeling some kind of jealousy over his statement. "it's kind of beautiful," you said, finally sorting out your feelings. "if you stay a vampire, someone will love her forever."

jeonghan leaned back on the bench, pulling his hand from yours and draping his arm over your shoulders instead. "my sister has been loved for almost four hundred years, now. i'm sure that was longer than she was expecting."

your eyes snapped to his. "sister?"

he had a vague smirk on his lips. "did you think it was someone else?"

"n-no," you said, embarrassed. "i'm sorry, i just didn't even know you had-"

"i'm teasing," he said, pulling you into his side. "yeah, i have a sister. she was smart. beautiful, too, just like my mother. even had her blonde hair."

"how-" you hesitated, before remembering all you had just shared with him. "how did she die?"

he studied you a second. "she was like you. different. sometimes when you tell me about your premonitions, it reminds me of things she would say." you watched him as he turned towards the ocean. "it was a time when witches were deemed evil. there were white men back then," he said, adjusting his posture. "traders from france and portugal. they had their own beliefs about witches, and their own ways of dealing with them." he paused. "they took her from me."

your hand went to your mouth. "jeonghan-"

"like i said," he looked at you. "i've done my healing. but back then, i struggled with it just as much as you did."

you remembered the dream you had suddenly, the weight of the injuries on his wrists when that man held him prisoner. "before that man turned you," you said quietly. "you said you were bleeding out."

he nodded. "people are cruel. i thought the pain would stop if i made it."

you looked down, your hands knitting in your lap, then placed one on his thigh. "it does eventually, though."

"it does," he agreed. he smiled at you when you met his gaze, studying his two toned eyes. "though it took me about three hundred years longer to learn that having friends makes it easier."

he insisted that you could take the subway home instead of the method he had used to bring you there, but you brushed him off. you had stayed out too late - by the time the two of you had even thought about heading home, it was long past midnight, and you told him flying would be faster. he studied you closely, hoping you weren't just saying so for his sake.

"i'll be fine," you said, hands on his chest, and he exhaled when you smiled at him. "i trust you."

the trip home was easier, and you enjoyed it, even - he had been right when he said the view was beautiful from above. the city was all twinkling lights and toy cars, bustling with life despite it being too late into the night. there was a christmas tree lit with strands of white lights in the park that the two of you often walked through together, and you had to blink yourself out of your daze when he landed on the roof of your building again.

your knees shook less when he let you down. "you're okay?"

you nodded, grinning at him. "i think i can get used to it."

when you were back in your apartment, outer layers shed and lights turned on, you flopped onto your couch, sighing happily. you felt refreshed by your trip to the ocean, from revealing your past to jeonghan - weight had been lifted from your shoulders, and you felt lighter than ever when a smile snuck onto your lips. "i don't have school anymore."

jeonghan smiled at you from where he was hanging your coats, shutting the closet door before walking towards you. "how's it feel?"

"amazing," you said, sitting up and holding out your arms, gesturing for him to join you. "how about you? you excited for my graduation?"

"of course i am," he said, placing his hands in yours, and you let out a surprised noise when he pulled you to your feet. "only a month away from sinking my teeth into that pretty neck of yours."

you giggled when his hand went to the back of your head, and you instinctively tipped your head back as he put his lips on your throat, his teeth gently nibbling at the vein on the side of your neck. you breathed out. "that tickles."

he hummed against you, his hand flat against your spine to hold you close. "i hope it only tickles when i bite you for real, too."

you pulled back slightly, but his hold on you landed your forehead on his, and you stared at him a moment. "jeonghan, i'm curious…"

his eyes skated over your face. "yes, master?"

you hesitated. "do you think i'd be okay if-" you bit your lip. "if you had a little today?"

jeonghan stared at you, and he thought it was your heart thumping against his chest before he realized it was his own. "don't tease me."

"i'm not," you said quietly. "i don't have any plans til practice next week, and i'm curious if it…" you paused, glancing at his lips. "if it will actually tickle."

"it won't," he warned, immediately exposing his flirtatious lie. "it'll hurt."

your eyes met his, and he wondered if this is how you had felt all those times he made your heart beat fast, made your blood rush to your face. "sometimes pain tickles a little."

he couldn't stop himself from pressing his lips against your forehead gently. "are you sure?"

your hands went to his face, cupping his cheeks, and you nodded. "i promise."

he hoisted you up onto his hips, and you yelped into a giggle as your legs settled around him. you ran your hands through his hair, grinning at him, and he nearly tripped on the first stair with the distraction of your fingers threading against his scalp, but managed to make it into your lofted bedroom without too much trouble. when he kneeled in front of your bed, gingerly seating you on it, he took your hand in his and placed a kiss on your knuckles before he looked up at you. "you can change your mind."

you shook your head at him. "i'm ready."

jeonghan bowed his head, then rose to place a knee between yours, his hand finding your nape as you stared up at him. "thank you for the meal."

you smiled gently and tipped your head as he laid you back onto your bed, his lips placing kisses down your neck before he settled in one spot. your hands ran up his back, one clenching at his shirt when he tentatively placed his fangs at your pulse - the same gentle nibble he had done before - and you put the other in his hair as silent reassurance before he sank his teeth into you.

he was right - it did hurt, but only a small, sharp pain of him breaking skin before he began to draw blood. you stopped yourself from gasping by biting your lip, your fingers digging into his scalp at the almost numbing sensation, and jeonghan was grateful he had fed himself already after his first gulp. your sweet taste on his tongue, your warm blood running down his throat, he was forced to pause before continuing, your plasma pooling on his tongue, his eyes fluttering open to catch the way you craned your neck for him. he ran his hand under your spine, pulling you up off the mattress to let your head fall back naturally before he drank again, three more gulps, but stopped himself short when he felt your heartbeat quicken, your grip on his shirt loosen slightly, worried he would take too much. he was hyper aware of your hold on his head, your scent, your taste, and he knew he could lose himself to you too easily.

he knew what it felt like to lose himself. and he wasn't going to let you reap those consequences.

you felt his tongue lap against the puncture wounds, and you muttered his name. he placed you gently back on your mattress as he pulled away, hovering over you, and you stared up at him a moment. his lips were stained red, and his tongue darted out to clean them. your hand went to his cheek. "thank you for finding me."

he put his hand over yours. "you found me," he corrected, and you noticed more red in his amber iris as you studied him.

"i like you, jeonghan," you said, and you saw his eyes dart between yours before he gave you a wide smile and plopped down next to you on the mattress.

"i like you, too, master!" he said giddily, rubbing his cheek on your shoulder as he hugged you, and you suddenly felt lightheaded from the blood loss. "you're so delicious!"

your hand went to the thigh that was hooked over your leg, the only part of him you could comfortably reach with the arm he was snuggling. "stop squirming, i'm dizzy-"

he kissed you on the cheek and rolled onto his back. "i feel like i could take on the world."

you turned your head, the motion making you aware of the soreness in your neck, but you couldn't help the giggle that fell out of you when you noticed him practically glowing with glee. "you're drunk."

he grinned at you. "because you're so sweet. oh-" he leaned over again, holding your jaw forward to inspect your cheek. "you have a kiss mark."

"are you gonna clean it?" you asked, and his lip caught in his teeth as he wiped away the blood stain with his thumb, sticking it in his mouth. you winced, hand landing on your forehead. "can you get me-"

jeonghan leaped up before you could finish the thought, giving you an on it as he ran down the stairs. you found yourself laughing again, his earnesty putting a smile on your lips, but you wondered if he understood the earnesty behind your confession, as well.

"okay," he said, returning too quickly for anyone else to have completed the task. "water and buttercream bread."

he placed the little tray of goodies on the bed beside you as he pulled you to sit up, and your hand went to your neck as you winced, one eye closed and your mouth gaping. "ow."

he pouted at you, kneeling before you again. "i'm sorry."

"no, it's okay," you assured, slowly stretching your neck. "just sore."

"it looks like it'll bruise," he said, running his fingers over the bite mark - sealed, but still visible, and the reddened skin around it where he had sucked.

you exhaled at his touch, unsure if your mind was swirling from his gentleness or from the low blood pressure. "i'll be fine," you said, taking the glass of water he had brought for you and sipping at it. "thank you."

he sat fully on the floor, wrapping his arms around your calf and placing his chin on your knee as he smiled up at you, and you imagined him with a wagging tail again, begging for your attention. "anything for my master."

you stirred when you heard knocking on your door, and jeonghan sat up before you managed to make your brain work. you felt groggy, almost like you were hungover, and your eyes found jeonghan's as he listened intently.

"i can't tell who it is," he said, leaning over you and placing a kiss on your forehead. "should i go answer it?"

you blinked, looking around, realizing it was light in the room. "i left the blinds open," you said sleepily, gesturing for him to help you up. "i'll get it."

he watched you slowly go down the stairs, mumbling when the knocking repeated, and he got out of bed to lean over the railing as you stumbled across your living room, listening closely when you disappeared below him to get the door.

you swung the door open, squinting and rubbing your face. "changyoon?"

he stared at you, then laughed out loud. "party too hard?"

you just turned around, leaving the door open for him as you walked back into your apartment, flopping onto your couch.

"why haven't you been answering your phone?" he asked, flipping off his shoes and following you. "we've been trying to contact you all day."

you blinked at him. "i stayed out late last night."

"yeah, i can tell," he said, his hands in his pockets as he gave you a sideways smile. he looked back at the door, trying to remember if he saw another pair of shoes. "gnarly hickey, by the way. is jeonghan around?"

your hand slapped over your neck, and you winced slightly at the soreness before you sat up straight. your eyes went up to the loft, where jeonghan was peeking out over the railing, but ducked behind it when changyoon turned to look himself.

he laughed, looking back at you. "got it. hope you have concealer, i booked a gig for tonight, i'm here to take you to last minute practice."

"tonight?" you whined, falling back into the cushioned seat. "i thought we weren't playing til next weekend."

"wonpil got us a last minute spot as an opening act for some punk band," he said, kicking your foot where it hung off the arm of your couch. "his friend knows the manager, and their last act fell through."

you groaned. "can't you play for me?"

"c'mon, hex," he said, grabbing your ankle and swinging it around, making you groan again. "this is a good opportunity, and they aren't a band without you. drink some water and get ready, we can get you a morning recovery shot on the way."

you huffed, rubbing your face again. "god, i was really hoping to sleep all day."

"you basically did," changyoon said, glancing at his phone. "it's already four, you go on stage at 9:30." you whined again, kicking your feet around. "you can bring jeonghan," he said, a lilt in his voice as he tried to convince you, and you dragged your hands off your face to glare at him.

you exhaled, standing finally, and headed to your stairs. "you're the worst."

"only for you," he said, grinning after you as he plopped down on your sofa, pulling out his phone to let the others know that he had awoken you from the dead.

jeonghan watched you from where he hid behind the loft railing, and you exhaled a laugh at the way he was squatting to stay out of sight. "i'm sorry," he said quietly, crawling over your bed as you headed to your closet. "i shouldn't have-"

"shush," you sighed, smiling at him. "i offered. and i'm only a little sore, i can play a half hour set."

"i can hear you guys," changyoon announced from your couch.

"then shut your ears," you yelled back, pushing aside clothes in your wardrobe. you looked around, searching for a turtleneck as jeonghan approached you from behind. "would you wanna come?"

he was in the middle of wrapping his arms around your waist when he paused. "i don't wanna intrude."

"i'm inviting you," you said, finding the turtleneck you had been looking for and putting the hanger on the knob of the wardrobe and looking for a punk rock enough tee to layer over it. "but you can say no."

he pressed his lips to your shoulder, thinking about how he had only heard you practice bass at home, without the accompaniment of your band. "it would be nice to keep an eye on you as you recover," he said, as though that were the only reason he would tag along.

you threw a pair of distressed black jeans onto your bed, along with the shirts you had picked out. "yoonie, did you drive the van?" you yelled out, then looked at jeonghan when you didn't get a response. you put your hands on the railing and glared at the man on your couch. "changyoon."

he looked up. "sorry, my ears were shut."

you rolled your eyes, pushing away from the rail as you started to get changed. "the van?"

"yup," he said, still on his phone. "wonpil and mingyu are already at jihoon's, but we gotta pick up hyejin at the nail salon."

you stripped off the shirt you had worn to sleep, flicking out the turtleneck before pulling it over your arms and looking up at jeonghan, his eyes immediately going to the ceiling. you pursed your lips to hold back a laugh. "the van has tinted windows," you told him, pulling the shirt over your head and adjusting the collar, looking in the mirror next to your wardrobe to make sure it covered the bruise on your neck - though going on stage with a hickey would probably be on brand for a punk show. "we can bring an umbrella, too."

jeonghan sat on your bed, fiddling with the hem of the fuzzy pajama pants he wore, looking at your phone. "sun sets in an hour anyways," he said, looking up at you. "i guess i'll change, too."

you nodded at him, then inspected your face in the mirror, rubbing it again. "ugh, i should wash up. see you downstairs?"

he let out a noise of agreement, but before you could grab the rest of your clothes and trot downstairs, he grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards him. you looked at him with wide eyes as he studied your neck, where he knew his bite mark was just beyond the fabric of your shirt. you swallowed and he blinked, refocusing on your eyes, and his lips quirked into a sideways smile before he pressed them against yours. "see you downstairs."

changyoon said nothing as you avoided his gaze, rushing to your bathroom, but he silently wondered how serious the two of you had gotten for jeonghan to be staying the night often enough to have clothes in your closet, and why you hadn't told him anything about your boyfriend.

"oh, jeonghan-ah!" hyejin laughed, climbing into the front passenger seat of the van, looking back at the two of you. "you're coming to the show?"

jeonghan looked confused at the casual address before he remembered they were supposed to be the same age, and adjusted his expression accordingly. "yeah, can't wait to hear you guys play."

hyejin grinned, nudging changyoon. "told you they were serious. when has hex ever brought a boy around?"

changyoon looked at her as he pulled away from the curb. "when has hex ever had a boy to bring around?"

"alright," you said, annoyed. "we don't have to discuss my love life right now, do we?"

"i'm curious," jeonghan said, giving you a teasing smile. "no boyfriends before me?"

"oh!" hyejin laughed again. "boyfriend! straight from the source!"

"you guys act like i'm some kind of prude," you huffed, folding your arms over your chest and leaning back in your seat. "it's not like i've never dated."

changyoon looked at you in the mirror. "you sure about that?"

"just because i didn't tell you, doesn't mean it didn't happen," you said pointedly, then leaned forward to poke hyejin's shoulder. "right?"

she agreed, her lips pouting out, and changyoon looked at her in shock. "what? are you two keeping secrets from me?"

"you're the annoyingly protective older brother," hyejin said, smacking his arm. "i'm the cool older sister. i'm the one they can talk to about boys."

"i'm not annoying," changyoon argued, making the face he always did when hyejin teased him, and you pursed your lips in the back seat to avoid laughing. they were continuing their bickering when you felt a touch on your thigh, and you looked down to find jeonghan walking two fingers across your lap, glancing up at him as he looked out the window, and you let out a stifled giggle when he laid his hand over your thigh, palm up, expectantly. you laced your fingers with his, and he couldn't help his smile after he adjusted in his seat to roll his head towards you, finding you with your tongue out at him playfully. he wondered, briefly, why it had taken him so long to find someone that made him smile like you did.

"drinks on me!" wonpil announced, holding his keyboard over his head after you had all run off stage, the lights dimming to prepare for the main act. you pulled your strap over your head, breathing heavy and grinning up at mingyu.

"dude, you killed it!" you shoved his arm, and he laughed pulling off his guitar. "i'm so glad we played the girl from jupiter, your solo in that song fucks so hard."

mingyu rolled his eyes, then looked behind him as someone had to scoot by, making him step closer to you in the narrow wing of the stage. he looked at you, then immediately redirected his gaze, swallowing. "if you came to practice, you'd get to hear it more often."

you pouted, walking off towards where there was more space, finding your case to put away your guitar. "sorry, i've been insanely busy lately." you crouched down to feel around for the zipper. "i'm finally done with school, so i'll be better now."

"congrats, by the way," he said, tapping your shoe with his. "you forensic expert, you. what now, you gonna be a detective?"

you sighed, standing as you zipped your case closed. "well, i gotta start applying."

"hey!" you both looked over to changyoon. "hurry up and throw your shit in the van so we can get drunk."

mingyu laughed and rolled his eyes, and you ran up behind jihoon, throwing your arm over his shoulder as you all exited the stage doors to the alley you were parked in. he had to use the main act's kit to save stage change time, leaving him to carry wonpil's keyboard stand, and you all stood around the trunk as changyoon arranged the instruments in the way he had decided was most efficient. you were laughing with jihoon as he tried to catch his breath, rubbing his sweaty face with his shirt when you heard a familiar voice call for his sweet thing.

you spun, grinning as you practically skipped towards him. "hey!"

jeonghan smiled at you, putting his sunglasses on the crown of his head and catching you in his arms. "you didn't tell me you guys were good!"

your eyes were big when you pulled away, and he shrugged off his leather jacket to drape over your shoulders, leaving him in the hoodie he had worn to protect himself from the sun, though it was long gone by now. "really? you think so?"

"of course he thinks so," hyejin said, winking at jeonghan and poking at your back. you spun towards her. "i saw him in the crowd. he couldn't take his eyes off you, looking all dopey."

you looked back at jeonghan, whose eyes were pointed at the sky, and you chewed your lip to stop yourself from giggling. "you should come to more of our shows, if you think we're so good."

"maybe i will," he said, pouting, but when his eyes landed on your face, he couldn't stop his smile. "do you get to hang out now?"

"hell yeah, we do," wonpil said, slapping your back as he headed back to the door, making you laugh. "i'm gonna go open a tab at the bar, come find me when you get back in." he pointed at jeonghan. "you, too, mr. hex."

he laughed, waving his hand. "i don't drink," he said, but wonpil had already moved on to try and convince jihoon to have at least one shot with him, to celebrate a successful show.

"you don't drink?" changyoon asked, shutting the van, and you watched hyejin hook her arm with mingyu's, smiling after them as they headed back into the venue. "how long are you guys planning on staying?"

"we'll hang out for the rest of the show," you said, checking jeonghan's expression for confirmation. he nodded, and you looked back at changyoon. "band bonding."

changyoon laughed, pushing his knuckle into your cheek. "good deal. jeonghan, do you drive?"

"uh," he looked at the van, and you hissed out changyoon's name in annoyance. "i can?"

"band bonding," changyoon grinned, depositing the van keys in his hand. "get us all home safe and you can date my kid."

you groaned, about to argue when jeonghan just pulled you into his side by your waist.

"consider it done," he said, and you blinked at him as changyoon grinned, gesturing for you to follow him back into the venue. it was loud and dark inside, and in the time it had taken you to load your things back into the van, the main act had made their way on stage, leaving the bar mostly clear as everyone swarmed to the pit. spotting the rest of your bandmates was easy, crowded in one space at the bar, and jihoon was talking about some article on his phone.

"another one?" wonpil asked, tugging the screen to face him. "isn't that the third one this week?"

changyoon peeked over a shoulder, looking. "good, they're cleaning up the streets."

"what are they talking about," you asked mingyu, and he tapped his palm against the bar.

"another body was found this morning, and they just released his identity. turns out he was a serial rapist."

you looked at jeonghan, remembering that news report you had seen with him a while back. "do you know the cause of death?" you asked, looking at jihoon.

"uh," he stalled, eyes scanning the article. "the throat was slit? seems to be," he quoted. "unconfirmed injury causing blood loss."

hyejin shivered visibly. "aren't we supposed to be celebrating?" she asked, looking around. "can we stop talking about dead creeps?"

"yeah," wonpil said, slamming jihoon's phone on the bar, making the drummer let out an annoyed noise. "shots all around. what's everyone getting?"

hyejin looked at you, her freshly manicured hand grabbing your arm. "take tequila with me?"

you blinked. "sure?"

"great," she grinned. "what about you, jeonghan?"

"he's dd," changyoon said, then pointed at jihoon. "which means you have no excuse."

"what?" jihoon looked around, wonpil already cheering in his face. "i'm always dd!"

changyoon grinned, landing a hand on his shoulder. "it's a haze, bud. he wants to date hex, so he has to pass the test."

jeonghan held up the keys for everyone to see, his lips pursed, and hyejin and wonpil cheered again as he slipped them into his jeans pocket, jihoon leaning over the bar heavily. hyejin ordered the tequila, making mingyu take one too, while the other guys ordered something less insane, in wonpil's words, then a round of beers for everyone. jeonghan stood beside you, leaning against the bar as hyejin excitedly watched the bartender prepare the salt rims for you.

"how much are you planning on drinking?" he asked, lips by your ear to keep it between the two of you. "i'm a little worried."

"why," you started, bringing his hand up to your neck. "because of this?"

he smiled, his thumb running over your jaw as his hand rested against your clothed neck, still sensitive to touch. "yeah, because of that."

"i'll just have the one shot," you assured, fiddling with the strings of his sweatshirt and tipping your head to the side. "then i'll nurse the beer til we leave."

"you might get drunk faster," he warned, glancing at where your shots were being poured. "if you need me to find you food, let me know. i'll keep an eye on you."

you chewed your cheek, hiding a smile as you turned back towards your friends. "yessir."

his hand went to your back, under his jacket that hung over your shoulders, and you exhaled heavily when hyejin doled out the shots, pushing the plate of limes towards you after mingyu grabbed his.

"ready?" she asked, looking around. "changyoon?"

"alright, gang," he said, speaking up over the music playing on stage. "thank you to wonpil for this opportunity-" he nodded, raising his shot in acknowledgement. "-thank you jihoon, for being the best songwriting companion a man could ask for-"

"our jihoonie!" you shouted out, slamming your hand on the bar repeatedly as a replacement for applause, mingyu howling with you.

"and welcome mr. jeonghan, let's hope you stick around. it'll be nice to get jihoon drunk more often."

you couldn't help but laugh at the toast, and hyejin let out an extended yaaaay, clapping and giving jeonghan a double thumbs up before picking her shot up.

"to the band. i'm proud to manage such a cool act. let's blow this year up!" changyoon shouted, grinning, holding his shot out, and everyone happily pushed their glasses against his and cheered.

jeonghan watched, a sideways smile on his face as the six of you drank together, mingyu, hyejin, and yourself having to lick your rims before knocking back the alcohol. you made a face, squinting as you shoved the lime wedge into your mouth, biting into it, and jeonghan couldn't help but laugh at your reaction.

"blech." you smacked your lips, dropping your spent wedge back onto the plate as hyejin laughed at mingyu's similar reaction. "how do you drink this stuff?"

"tequila's fun!" she grinned, then looked at jeonghan. "it'll be fun for you, too, if they keep taking them. thank me later."

his eyebrows raised, looking at you. "is that so?"

"speaking of," changyoon said, stacking his shot glass onto wonpil's before grabbing his beer and pushing off the bar. he pointed at jeonghan. "you, come with me. we need to chat."

"changyoon," you warned, pushing your shot glass towards the bartender, but jeonghan just grinned and pulled his hand from your back. you looked at him.

"you'll be okay without me for a second?" he asked, running a thumb over your brow to check your eyes. you stared at him, then nodded, and he smiled, gently pulling you in to place a kiss on your lips. "i'll be right back."

you watched them walk off together, claiming a standing table in the dark lounge area of the venue, and put your beer against your cheek to cool it. hyejin nudged you.

"you two are super cute," she said, giggling. "right, gyu?"

he sighed heavily. "even i can't deny it," he said, giving you a small smile. "you seem happy."

you looked between them a moment, putting your beer back down on the bar. "i guess i am happy," you said, a smile sneaking across your lips, lost in the fantasy of being half of a cute couple. "thanks."

jihoon grabbed mingyu's attention for some argument, and you giggled as you watched wonpil fight with both of them in the way only friends could, sipping gently at your beer.

"excuse me?"

you spun towards the voice, finding a woman smiling at you. her beauty distracted you from the chill on your arms - foreign, with a head of curly red hair, and you thought she could be a model with her petite figure. you blinked, confused by the flicker of worry in your mind when you met her bright eyes. "yes?"

"you guys rocked," she said, glancing at hyejin behind you before focusing on you again. "i've been trying to learn bass, and you looked so cool up there!"

you were taken aback slightly, but a smile snuck onto your lips. "thank you so much," you said, laughing lightly, your immediate reaction being to promote the band. "do you live around here? we're gonna be doing a bunch of shows in the new year."

her eyes lit up, and you realized your uneasy feeling had been recognition, her amber eyes sparkling at you. "i just moved, actually! i'd love to see you guys again!"

you faltered, unsure if you should give her more information, and you suddenly had the thought that she might have waited until jeonghan had left to approach you. she seemed harmless, but so did he, most of the time, and you hesitated to give her an ability to find you again. she looked behind you briefly and then grabbed your arm.

"hey, i'll catch you another time," she said quietly, then winked. "promise." she flashed a sharp smile before disappearing into the crowd, and you stared after her, leaning your back against the bar, trying to decide if you were just a magnet for vampires.

"holy shit, she was gorgeous," hyejin whistled, sipping her beer and looking at you. "do you think she was flirting?"

"i-" you paused, looking at your friend. "i can never tell with her type."

she giggled. "her type? what does that mean?"

you didn't explain it further, letting hyejin get distracted when mingyu took out his phone to take pictures and pulled her off to where the lighting was better, but you just sipped your beer and wondered if she, too, was looking to become human again. jeonghan walked in front of you, catching your attention, and he smiled at you.

"miss me?"

you smirked at him. "barely noticed your absence."

"ouch," he said, putting a hand over his heart, then planted an elbow on the bar, leaning against it and staring at your profile. "you okay?"

you pouted out your lips, thinking, then smiled at him, deciding it was a conversation for later. "yeah. how about you? changyoon wasn't too mean, right?"

"just the right amount of mean," jeonghan said, then sighed, adjusting the jacket on your shoulder where it was slipping off. "wanted to make sure we were using protection. i told him we haven't gotten there yet, but i didn't have the heart to tell him i shoot blanks anyways."

you sputtered out a laugh, hand planting over your mouth to quiet it. you looked at him, dropping your hand to say, "i'm so sorry."

jeonghan laughed, too. "nah, it's fine. it was kinda refreshing, i could tell he really cares about you." he tipped his head to one side. "i knew he did, from what you've told me, but it was nice to see it myself."

you bit at your lip to hide a smile. "he's a good guy."

"he is," jeonghan agreed, then exhaled dramatically. "weird that someone over three hundred years younger than me told me to call him hyung, though."

you almost snorted. "in his defense, he thinks you're hyejin's age."

"and who's fault is that?" he said, furrowing his brows at you, smiling when you giggled and hit your hand against his chest. "ah, he also threatened to kill me if i did anything to hurt you."

your eyes widened as you looked away. "that's my brother."

"foster brother," he corrected, and your eyes snapped to his at the parrot of your words the night before - less than 24 hours before, you realized, and you smiled. he smiled back. "he plays your brother well. i hope i can play your boyfriend well, too."

you glanced at the collar around his neck before you looked away, taking a sip of your beer and swallowing it harshly, reminding yourself that he wasn't with you for fun. that you had a contract. "just playing, huh?"

"hey," jeonghan put a hand on your chin, turning you back towards him. you swallowed, his eyes darting between yours before flicking down to your lips, and you felt your breath hitch. "only as long as that's what you want, master."

you stared at him. "what if i want more?" you asked, putting down your beer as you turned towards him. "what if playing isn't enough for me anymore? what if i want you to see me as more than your master?"

he adjusted, his hand running back over the sore spot on your neck, and you let your head tip to the side when it landed at your nape. "are you sure?"

"why wouldn't i be sure?" you asked, huffing lightly, and his eyes flicked to your beer on the bar. you rolled your eyes, pushing his hand away when you realized what he meant, trying to not show how hurt you felt. maybe he was right. maybe you were tipsy, and maybe you said more than you would normally, but that didn't change the truth behind your words. "whatever. nevermind."

"master," jeonghan exhaled, recognizing his mistake immediately. "i'm sorry, i didn't-"

"it's fine," you said, turning away from him, knowing the beer would taste bitter now and choosing to leave it on the counter. you thought of the night before, when you had admitted your feelings for him, and how he had completely brushed you off. you almost felt like crying, but glanced over at your friends to make sure they were properly distracted and exhaled instead. "you only want me for one thing, anyways."

"that's not-" he hesitated, his eyes shutting briefly. four hundred years of tricks and schemes, and somehow he had managed to play himself. "that's not true."

"isn't it?" you asked, looking at him. "you look delicious. you smell good. i get it, jeonghan. you're a vampire trying to become human, and i'm a witch that can help you. we can't be anything more than that, but i just wish you had thought about my feelings before you made me fall in love with you."

jeonghan pulled you towards him, his brows furrowed when he studied you, your face between his palms. "you're wrong."

you stared at him. "about what, exactly?"

"i thought about your feelings every day, and we can be more, but i've been scared of the danger that might put you in." he paused, his fingers buried against your scalp, wondering if it was your blood in his veins that made his heart beat so fast, or if it was just the way your hands ran up his chest. "and how dare you not notice that you made me fall in love with you first."

your eyes softened, flicking between his. "don't tease me."

"i'm not," he assured you, and when his lips found yours, your heart soared, his mouth kneading against yours in a way that made you melt onto his chest. he adjusted, moving so your back was against the bar again, and his palm landed on the edge just beside you, your hands running up his chest to grip at the neck of his hoodie. it felt familiar, all too similar to when he kissed you in your kitchen, but new life sewn into his lips on yours with the confession of reciprocated feelings, and you thought the butterflies in your stomach could make you float away if he didn't hold you down.

"get a room!" wonpil yelled, and you broke away for just a second to spot the rest of your band further down the bar, changyoon pointedly looking in a different direction and jihoon laughing hysterically at his expression. you just grinned, looking back at jeonghan, and the way his eyes were hooded as he gazed at you, the sideways smile on his lips never leaving, you just slipped two fingers under the dog collar around his neck, pulling him into you again.

after jeonghan had driven your properly drunken bandmates home, ending the car ride at changyoon and wonpil's place, he carried your guitar case in one hand and held yours with the other as the two of you walked to your apartment, the same route you had taken the first night you had invited him into your home. it had always been a familiar walk for you, but jeonghan smiled as he looked around, enjoying that, instead of a healthy meter away from him, you were right by his side. he had even asked if you wanted a cigarette when you left changyoon's, remembering what you had said about drinking making you crave them, but you had shaken your head, tugging on the strings of his hoodie, saying you had a different way of satisfying your oral fixation now, and he could only grin before he was drawn into you.

"do you…" you paused, looking over to him as you walked hand in hand, and he gave you a questioning look. "do you know of any other vampires in korea?"

"of course," he said casually. "celebrities that died young, entrepreneurs, scientists… we live long, so a lot of my kind spent the last hundred years building empires. some of the richest people in the world are vampires, korea's no exception."

you blinked, registering that fact. "so how come i ended up with a broke bum?"

"hey," he laughed, and you giggled along with him. "i enjoy my life of freedom. why do you ask?"

"i think i met one tonight," you said, and his hand clenched in yours, making you look at him.

his brows furrowed. "you saw a vampire?"

you faltered. "y-yeah. she seemed nice, though. i thought maybe she could tell i was a witch."

jeonghan said your name, and you nearly jumped out of your skin - it almost sounded foreign coming from his lips, in his voice. he stopped walking, and you turned towards him. "if you ever see another vampire, find me immediately."

you flinched. "jeonghan, you're scaring me."

"good," he said, stepping closer. "other vampires aren't like me, master. they're bloodthirsty and cold, and they won't stop once they start." his eyes were dark, brows knit together, expression stern, and you got chills with his words. "if you bleed in front of them, they won't be able to resist you, and they'll suck you dry."

you blinked at him, studying his eyes. you remembered the last time you had studied them on this street - one blood red and the other amber - but now, his amber eye had red bleeding into it, and you thought of how that had differed from the vampire you had seen tonight. you thought about how he had said his mother had red eyes, just like him. "you were part human when i met you, weren't you?"

he looked away, exhaling. "why do you have to be so into mysteries?" he asked. "it's impossible to keep things over your head."

"does that mean-" you paused, swallowing, unsure if you wanted the answer. "was there another-"

"yeah," he said succinctly. and your eyes met his before he spoke again. "there was another witch before you, but she's dead. i killed her."

#HAHAHAHAHA #caratwritersclub #this has been so much fun to write im not jking #and there isn't even any sex in it :sob:#yoon jeonghan scenarios #yoon jeonghan imagines #yoon jeonghan fluff #yoon jeonghan angst #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #i wrote dis #hannie #tyftm #that stands for thank you for the meal btw #ive been calling this jal meokgesseumnida in my head since january LMAO

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punkpandapatrixk · 2 years ago

Text

The Kind of Magic Each Zodiac Sign Carries🧚🏻‍♀️ Pt.2

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

A Star was receiving punishment for horrendous crimes across the known Universe. The Star had disturbed the law and order of the Cosmos, so the sentence was for it to experience total Chaos for its repentance. It was decided the Star would test out different levels of consciousness to study duality and separation. A planet now torn apart by wars for its operation of Freewill was chosen as the Star's learning ground.

The Star, then, had to go through 12 cycles of birth and death on Gaia. Each time the Star was incarnate in a new form, it would take on a new name whilst retaining knowledge and memories from its previous incarnations. This is the birth, lives, and death of a Star through the zodiacal wheel.

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Here is a tiny myth (fictional tho) for new and old astrology students alike. This is meant to help you get familiar with the basic nature (or personality?) of each zodiac sign in a manner that allows you to see the more magical aspect of it—in both good and not-so-good ways.

Magic is impartial. There's creation magic and there's destruction magic. Rely on your own innate wisdom in regards to how you see creation and destruction as a positive or negative force.

[Back to Masterlist] [Part 1]

Ionno what was possessing me when I wrote Part 1. It was written almost half a year ago LMAO Reading it now, the whole writing is somewhat chaos. Do forgive me if you can😶It’s still a pretty wholesome post if you’re passionate about Astro hahah

⚖️Libra Magic

The Star returns to Gaia in its seventh incarnation. For the first time, the Star feels like an adult—like it's learnt enough and thus, wiser. Being on the opposite end of Aries, Libra now looks at its own first incarnation and ponders a lot the nature of being Human. What does it mean to be Human in a world that constantly bathes in misunderstandings and conflicts? Surely everybody has their own reasons behind their differing worldviews. The Star is no longer a child, but also not mature enough to understand all of the world with its intricacies. Libra thinks it best to try to balance itself in the way it thinks, perceives and judges the world. Libra thinks it best to always be fair with everybody. But in doing so, in prioritising that, sometimes Libra forgets it needs to be fair with itself—that it also needs to be prioritised and paid careful attention to.

Libra magic of creation - Priestess of Opulence

-This card is like the purplest in the whole deck like oh ma gosh if that ain’t the colour of Libra.-

Good cheer is in the blood of a Libra individual. Not only is Libra capable of creating magic everywhere it goes, but by its sheer presence Libra is a delight to others; this is because Libra casts beauty on whatever it touches. And just like that, Libra often serves as a source of inspiration for those around it. There’s beauty, but there’s also ambition and petty jealousy. Libra holds ambitchious power which it doesn’t speak of very often but others can see it via natural charisma. Oh, and… have you seen a Libra individual who isn’t destined for riches? They’re a rarity instead. Libra has this inner knowing that they can be and achieve whatever they want. The ambition is there. The only other challenge is whether or not Libra will allow itself to be bitchy enough to have its way in the world🚬😎

Libra magic of destruction - 9 of Cups Rx

Trying too hard to be rational, Libra can often forego daydreams. What this causes to a Libra individual is a sense of bitterness. An underdeveloped Libra consciousness that has become bitter can be spiteful. And if you think this spells disaster for those around it, WRONG. A spiteful Libra bitch is a disaster to itself. Robbing itself of the little pleasures of life by being so preoccupied with low self-esteem, a toxic Libra individual pours poison to its own pool of mental clarity. It’s not like such an individual becomes toxic to others, but they just appear to be annoying in the eye of others. And being seen unfavourably by others only adds to a Libra’s sense of disorientation!

Point of self-actualisation - Silver Physician (John Dee)

Spiritual health gives maintenance to mental health, and the latter gives sustenance to physical health. This is literally what this oracle is all about. And so for the Star to thrive in this human world as a Libra, it would need to learn to balance all of those areas. It may sound like a tall order written on paper, but the Libra consciousness would be happy to know it’s been able to maintain order in such a fashion. Libra is symbolised by a scale (the only symbol that’s actually an inanimate object) and thus, carries both the consciousnesses of Virgo and Scorpio. In its previous incarnation as Virgo the Star was learning about being of service to others via self-sacrifice; meanwhile its next incarnation as Scorpio already causes the Libra Star to have anxieties about power and selfishness. The Star’s point of self-actualisation as a Libra then, becomes very confusing as only itself can decide what’s become its achievement whilst being incarnate as a diplomat consciousness. The key though, will always be balance.

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

🦂Scorpio Magic

The Star now enters its eighth incarnation on Gaia as Scorpio. Having dealt with a sense of disorientation when it comes to its own identity for so long (from Aries all the way to Libra), the Star now seeks to solidify its own persona in the world. A persona may be a shadowplay but Scorpio is only at the beginning stages of creating an identity. A solid one at that. But the more important thing is that when a Scorpio presents itself outwardly, everything it chooses to express is by its own personal decree. Scorpio thinks what it wants to think and does as it pleases. And if it could influence someone else to taste a similar flavour of freedom, it would be happy. But Scorpio isn’t particularly concerned with such a thing because Scorpio lives for itself. Selfish as that may be, Scorpio is only trying to not be absorbed by its environment. So Scorpio keeps a lot of its real identity under wraps so nobody gets access to manipulate it.

Scorpio magic of creation - Priestess of Prosperity

There is no Scorpio who isn’t smart. The Scorpio intuition is piercing and intellect penetrative. Being a Water sign, its spirituality also plays a big role in determining a Scorpio individual’s type of eerie logic. When a Scorpio individual decides to not care what others think, they can only become more and more abundant in Life. A liberated Scorpio who has a good grasp on reality is quite literally the world’s greatest master manifesters. Well, as long as Scorpio lives for its own peaceful happiness tho, which may not always be so easy because Scorpio sorta feels what others think or say. On the outside I’m skrt skrt; on the inside I’m hurt hurt. A Scorpio individual who has been hurt a lot in Life will carry this magic of creation that’s fueled by vengeance. Vengeance on their lame past motivates Scorpio to achieve greatness and respect in the world, but whatever happens to their wounded spirit? Who knows. It’s Scorpio.

Scorpio magic of destruction - VI The Lovers Rx

Scorpio is obsessive, controlling and manipulative. They want to know and own all of you, but they guard themselves up that you don’t even know who they are. You can’t own Scorpio, but you belong to them if they’re obsessed enough with you. On top of such selfish logic, though Scorpio is usually calm and charismatic, it has no fear of doing the criminal things to do for punishment. Obsession is just one of Scorpio’s most conflicting traits—whether it’s used for good or bad depends on context. But Scorpio’s obsessive behaviours that have turned unhealthy could be its greatest downfall. Being on the opposite end of Taurus, Scorpio has that undercurrent of stubbornness to let go of what’s really not good for itself. Scorpio isn’t keen on letting go of what it considers its possession. It may not even be keen on changing the way it perceives things. Still, Scorpio is an old soul who has matured a lot, so unlike the stupid Taurus, Scorpio does learn eventually. And, rather quickly too.

Point of self-actualisation - Green Physician (Paracelsus)

-I honestly almost had nothing trying to derive any energetic information here. Such is the depth, and darkness, of Scorpio.-

For the sake of simplicity, let it be said that Scorpio’s point of self-actualisation is health and balance. This is because Scorpio can deal a lot with a sense of paralysis from its own obsessions. Different from Virgo’s analysis-paralysis, Scorpio’s paralysis is on the spiritual level. When Scorpio doesn’t understand itself, it ponders and ruminates to no end the meaning of good vs bad. Has it been a good incarnation or has it been a terrible incarnation? Is it good to have been so bad in society one gets feared? Or is it bad to have been so good that one gets underestimated by society? And on and on and on the answer everlastingly elusive. The Star would be successful in its incarnation as a Scorpio—its Soul would be satisfied—when it reaches its own peaceful conclusion. Not perfect, not good, not right; just what’s peaceful for itself. And that is the kind of thing that requires a lifetime of learning to make peace with its own dark, convoluted logic.

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

🎠Sagittarius Magic

Moving forwards in the zodiacal wheel, the Star enters its ninth incarnation and begins to let go of the notion of being just human. The Star is right in the middle of phase two of its lessons on Gaia. The Star ponders a lot the meaning of being Human based on what it’s learnt so far about the Human world and its societies, cultures, dogmas and dramas. It’s clear enough Gaia is a messy place, but then, what must one do to ameliorate all of the reasons Gaia is a messed up place? The more the Star focuses on resolving Human conflicts, the more aware it becomes of all things that are ugly about Humans. And the more the Star allows itself to notice only the ugly parts, the more it comes into conflict with everyone else. And so the Star itself becomes a contributing factor in the conflicts and dramas of the Human realm. The more the Star tries to become higher than Humans, the more human it becomes, strangely enough🤷🏻‍♀️

Sagittarius magic of creation - Priestess of Inspiration

Being so big-brained and courageous—to a point of being petty, savage, and even plainly insufferable—Sagittarius is the world’s best inspirational character. Whether as a teacher, celebrity, or whatever. When Sagittarius consciousness is kind, mature, and compassionate, the individual could become so well-liked for their courage and respected for their savage. The key to achieving this wonderful point of self-creation is only one: heart. A Sagittarius incarnation can be said successful only when an individual uses their high-strung temperament for the purpose of ameliorating other people’s cowardice.

Sagittarius magic of destruction - King of Wands Rx

-I swear I shuffled the fuck outta these cards!!🤣-

Sagittarius’s most annoying trait is this: using its unique way of thinking and sheer fiery passion to act holier than thou. This attitude, coupled with a lack of actually proper study, gives rise to Sagittarius’s famed insufferably high-conflict personality. Must you always fight everyone who thinks differently than you? Must you always endeavour to fix another’s mindset/priority that doesn’t resemble your own? Must you always slip into that teacher role to straighten up other people’s conduct? Must you really take up all of these burdens on your shoulders and burn bridges with those you could have a friendly union with? Dunno. Sagittarius only cares what it wants to care. And others don’t get to change that. And, really, with that aggressive sense of social justice, who are you trying to protect, really, when you’re not even that social?

Point of self-actualisation - Red Astrologer (William Lilly)

With its keen intelligence, Sagittarius is the type of consciousness that sees all of the world’s problems. And it wants to fix them. And even if the Star could have a difficult time expressing this vulnerably and honestly, it does care a lot about other people. The Star cares so much about the Human world it can’t stand idly by watching the world burn itself. It’s just… Sagittarius’s method is often broken. The Star would be satisfied with itself if it accepts that being conflicty itself doesn’t resolve anything in the world. That it must spend its energy wisely into extensive study instead. That the pursuit of studying itself, also, is not about proving anything to anyone. That study is used to contribute something better than what’s already existing. This, is precisely the Star’s biggest lesson being incarnate as Sagittarius. Maybe because Gemini sits opposite to it and the Star still feels bitter about how its Gemini incarnation was so much all about people pleasing, and now it wants to exert power over everyone else instead. The Star wants to be seen as strong, opinionated and capable. At the end of the day, the Star just wants to be useful to its society. After all, there aren’t that many chances left to come to Gaia to fix all of the Planet’s problems.

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

🐐Capricorn Magic

The Star is now at its tenth incarnation on Gaia. The last of the Earth element. By this point, the Star has reached maturity and come to understand a lot more about the intricacies of society vs self. Being Earthy, Capricorn possesses strong, determined, unshakeable qualities reminiscent of Virgo and Taurus. Capricorn perceives itself to be incredibly strong and thus, wishes to be a pillar for those it cares about. Sitting on the opposite end of motherly Cancer, Capricorn also expresses a similar self-sacrificing tendency through hard work. The Star believes at this point, that in order to be happy and fulfilled one must work really hard in accordance with the rules and laws of society. Capricorn plays smart by being not in direct opposition to structure, custom and law. But that workaholic-ism and blind obsession with glory may have caused the Star to forget the true meaning of enjoyment whilst being on Gaia…

Capricorn magic of creation - Priestess of Divination

Capricorn probably doesn’t get enough recognition for its protective tendencies. Listen, being ruled by Saturn, Capricorn consciousness often involves tons of restrictions and a feeling of being repressed, suppressed, walked all over—until the individual finds their own strength purely from within. With this raw transformative power Capricorn becomes strong and seeks to protect others from harm and malice. This is why Capricorn individuals are known to be workaholics. They know money is the ultimate tool for protection as they seek to shelter and provide for others. Capricorn consciousness, when developed properly, is the Earth’s ultimate protector—the Divine Father.

Capricorn magic of destruction - 7 of Wands Rx

With an inability to delegate or share its burdens, Capricorn destroys its own capacity for compassion through a martyr mindset. Yo, I’m the only one sacrificing myself to this degree and you’re still complaining?! How about some gratitude?! That’s toxic because in this way Capricorn doesn’t acknowledge another’s need for its attention, affection, beyond material possession. When this continues tho, Capricorn feels underappreciated for all its efforts and retreats deeper into isolation (sulking) because it doesn’t know how to convey its love. And just like that, Capricorn continues dwindling the drain of loneliness.

Point of self-actualisation - Red Magus (Edward Kelly)

In this card, Kelly looks into a scrying mirror made out of black obsidian. This is a crystal best known for its protective properties. But the question the Star must ponder is this: in trying to protect and shelter those it cares about, what is it sacrificing? If the Star’s aggressive protection becomes someone else’s prison, it’s pointless. The Star would end up regretting this a lot at the end of its incarnation. Self-reflection and a courage to admit the importance of human relations on an emotional level are the only things that can salvage the Star in its incarnation as Capricorn. Being cowardly doesn’t suit Capricorn.

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

🏺Aquarius Magic

In a manner of speaking, Aquarius is the Star’s oldest incarnation as anything remotely Human. Being the last Air element, Aquarius is the height of Human intelligence. The Star is devoted to the amelioration of Human suffering as it dedicates itself to pioneering inventions and setting higher bars for new ways of doing as well as perceiving things. Aquarius wants legacy, but more than that, it wants to see a brand new world. For these reasons, Aquarius may become so preoccupied with being different and causing a disturbance in society. Well, that’s probably just a risk any pioneer must take. The convoluted nature of Aquarius’s way of thinking is not something many can grasp and this could cause a sense of alienation from the rest Mankind, which Aquarius so desperately wants to save.

Aquarius magic of creation - Priestess of Contemplation

Of course, high-speed thought process. Not many people acknowledge just how spiritual Aquarius is. Being so close to the last in the zodiacal wheel, Aquarius is like a bridge between the Higher Realms and the Human world. This is why Aquarius individuals think differently and are capable of ingenious ideas. They get those electrifying ideas from somewhere else. And so, being given so much talent and having so much fervour for change, if Aquarius isn’t meant to be humanist and charitable with its latent transformative prowess—what then becomes the meaning of its existence?

Aquarius magic of destruction - Knight of Cups Rx

Hmm yeah…when infantile and underdeveloped, Aquarius individuals are the world’s greatest emotional manipulators. Is that something to be proud of? Dunno. Aquarius is crazy anyway. This inability to connect to anybody on an emotional level causes Aquarius to have very little regard or respect for human emotions. Such an individual could become cruel to a point of turning into a serial killer even. Of course, there is no Aquarius who doesn’t know how to charm another, so that only adds to the danger of having one such person around.

Point of self-actualisation - Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

Let it be known that the Star needs to focus on future events if it wishes to achieve satisfaction by the end of its incarnation. What this means, essentially, is that it would be wise for Aquarius to always carefully think about the consequences of its actions. Whether it is personal or professional; in private or public; Aquarius needs to think about its image. This isn’t mere image maintenance for no reason at all. Aquarius often doesn’t realise its own influence on others that cause others to want to look up to them. The Star may or may not like the attention—how others put burden and expectations on them—but it is what it is. And if the Star cares enough about leaving a positive legacy in the world, these are some of the important things to keep in mind.

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

🎏Pisces Magic

The Star’s ultimate incarnation on Gaia. Is Pisces Human? Is it God? Is it a fairy? Or is it just energy? Dunno. Pisces is hard to pin down because it’s fishy. Symbolised by two fishes going in different directions whilst being tied at the tail, Pisces is schizophrenia and the world’s mania. It’s obsessive but hopeless because it’s lacking a backbone. It’s also ambitious but self-undoing due to a series of cowardly escapism. What the Star wishes to accomplish in its last incarnation is all-encompassing and this can cause it to lose balance all the time. Pulled in different directions; absorbed by all kinds of environment; manipulated by all kinds of hyenas Humans. Pisces desperately wants to be good but this ugly world ain’t letting it have it easy…

Pisces magic of creation - Priestess of Luxury

Yeah, this is literally saying: there’s nothing in this world you can’t have. I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it. Yup. With Pisces’s vast understanding of the ways of the Matrix world, it is the world’s Magician. If Pisces wants, it can manifest gold out of thin air. There is so much magic for creation and that is for helping the world. An accomplished Pisces who knows its own place in the world and all the ways and reasons it is different from the rest of the world possesses the power to make the world cower before its supreme Co-Creation prowess. The last standing challenge is only whether or not Pisces can allow itself to embrace such immense power.

Pisces magic of destruction - 6 of Pentacles Rx

When Pisces lives continuously in a cowardly manner, it quickly loses sight of its own manifestation power. It stops caring what power and manifestation mean because it is so immensely unhappy. Nothing in the world matters if Pisces is spiritually unsatisfied. Working is disappointing, socialising is disappointing, eating is disappointing, showering is disappointing, self-care is disappointing, making an effort is disappointing, loving and hating are disappointing, breathing itself is disappointing. There’s nothing left to share of itself because Pisces is just tired of Life…

Point of self-actualisation - Red Alchemist (John Dee)

-Okay, this is like the most fitting card that could appear for this part like OMG.-

The Star’s immense capacity for empathy is both a blessing to the world and a curse for itself. It requires a great deal of discipline for the Star to be able to protect itself from the negative consciousnesses of the Human Matrix. Problem is, protection is almost impossible given its empathy, so the next best thing for Pisces to do is constant distillation. To remove impurities from its system (energetic field) and maintain fresh, clean perspectives on the challenges of being Human. If the Star ignores this one key secret, it’ll only become a channel or medium for negative consciousnesses to manifest their destructive desires into this Matrix. That’s not very pretty. Given the last scores, it’ll be decided whether or not the Star has done well in serving its sentence for its past crimes. If the Star hasn’t learnt enough… who knows… it might have to be plunged into the whole cycle one more time~

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Feel free to support me on Patreon if you love this kind of content🍑I create stories and tarot readings that calm the mind & heal from within🍒

[Back to Masterlist] [Part 1]

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jayflrt · 3 years ago

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AAAAAA IT'S THE WEDDING ANON HERE I MISSED U OMG i barely got the time to open social media because of moving in and fucking school ugh </3 also im going to deck my roomate one of these days! ❤️ LAWD he's so fucking fine but such a pain in the ass so it doesn't matter </3 but omg you MET DPR IAN???? AND CL ???? IM SO HAPPY FOR U OMG I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT AAAAA

ALSO GUESS WHO TURNED 20 A FEW MINTUES AGO 😎 man i spent my bdays with my grandma and my bestfriend and i thought they forgot but when it was 12:00am they CALLED ME AND BOUGHT A CAKE ??? AND CUT IT FOR ME SINCE I WASN'T THERE i deadass started bawling in the call </33 and i feel so grateful for them rn </33

hihi wedding anon !! I MISSED YOU TOO 🥰 i hope you’re doing well and have been thriving tho 🤧 but omg i’m glad you got to move in !! a whole enemies to lovers arc going on with your roommate 😰 but fr i hope things get better 🥲what does he do ?? :((

AH YES DPR LIVE AND DPR IAN AND CL AT 88RISINGS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS FESTIVAL 🤍🤍 today i got to see warren hue, feelghoodmusic (bibi kissed a girl in front row!!!), keshi, jae (eaj), niki, and joji :’)) it was a mind blowing experience omfg i wanted to cry at the closing acts today bc i didn’t want it to end 🤧 niki was amazing and joji was phenomenal i think i have like 30 min of recordings of them ♡ CL’s stage presence was incredible omfg and all of the performances today ate the stage up

OH MY GOSHHH HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♡ ALSO THATS SO CUTE OF THEM BUT YOU DESERVE IT :’) HAVE A GREAT DAY LOVE 💖 one more year until we can do our bar crawl 🤩

#💌 : jayflrt love notes #wedding anon

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ryder616 · 5 years ago

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Rewatching Nothing Personal

How I love this episode, let me count the ways. Skye being awesome would already be more than enough for me but we also have Maria Hill, first with May and then with Phil, the team reacting to Ward’s betrayal, the return of Deathlok, the return of Talbot, the return of Lola, the final answer about T.A.H.I.T.I....they could have made three episodes with the stuff they crammed in here.

It was intensely satisfying, after 19 episodes of Ward lying and manipulating everyone, seeing the tables finally turned. Mr. Everyone’s type is either too full of himself to entertain the possiblity Skye’s not into him as much as she’s pretending or so into her himself that he can’t see past it. I don’t really care which is it, but it is something because even when he notices her nerves, he doesn’t truly question them and he’s still disbelieving when the mask comes off (“I’m just trying to have a honest conversation, for once”) and that is especially telling since by that point her anger is pouring through and it’s so clearly not about Garrett.

Meanwhile, inside Providence, everyone else is coming to grips with the knowledge that Ward’s a traitor in (slightly) less pressing circumstances than Skye had to. Fitz has it harder: he can’t bring himself to believe it and won’t fully believe it until trapped in the medical pod. Simmons has the physical evidence and that’s more than enough for her. Coulson is adding the math. All the little things that have been bothering since T.A.H.I.T.I. , the knowledge of how strong a bond Ward had with Garrett: it’s all clicking, now, and yet he never suspected, very much like the audience. And Trip, well, for him it’s déjà vu. And he’s much more interested in what to do next.

Skye High:

Her hastily evolving plan would have worked if Garrett hadn’t been such a covering-all-the-bases type. Despite the cops’ incompetence (I know, I know, he’s a superspy) she would have driven away in her stolen police car - third car she stole this year, btw😎 - leaving Ward in the dust. As it is, she leaves a nasty Trojan Horse on the drive which will eventually enable her to hack Mike’s hardware, giving the team the final winning move.

May’s Boundless Badassary:

She disposes of the pack of international spies tracking Hill in half a minute, deciphers Fury’s not-a-riddle, then goes graverobbing in the light of day to retrieve vital intelligence from Coulson’s fake resting place, possibly convincing one poor widower that a vampire or a zombie are loose on the town in the process. The thumbdrive doesn’t contain the piece of mind she was hoping to give her friend but there’s nothing she can do about that.

Stuff that crossed my mind:

I swear, I need a cocktail and a lobotomy. I have a dream. A S.H.I.E.L.D. movie trilogy with our agents and Maria Hill. My dream will never come true but I will always have this episode.

Fury said that he buried that intel when he decided not to bury Coulson.-- Maria, this is not the time to wax poetic. What do you know, Fury meant every word.

If you were my agents, it wouldn't be for long. Many of your agents turned out to be traitors so, you know, it’s not like your hiring standards are that exemplar😁

May walked away because I told her to. I was mad, and I was mean. -- Then we don't need her sorry ass. With all the crap we're facing, this is not the time to pull the ripcord, bail out. Aaand Trip just joined the “Assume the Worst of May” club. I think we’re only missing Simmons for the full deck😉

Coulson's upset about pancakes now? Phil’s a foodie so he may very well be. Those instant mixes? I bet he abhors them.

Worst-case scenario? -- We’ve had a wolf in the herd the whole time. *dun dun dun*

Fitz keeps the candy under his bunk. This is Very Important Information. Also, in 3x09 Fitz will tell Coulson that once he had caught Ward snooping in his bunk. Maybe that’s how he knows about the candy.

Oh, you'll be plenty safe. This, however, is not the answer. [...] In this situation, the last thing we can afford is to get pinched on a concealed-weapons charge. [...] Hey. We are gonna be okay. I promise, until this thing is over, I'm not gonna let you out of my sight. He means to be comforting and all she’s feeling is dread.

I just went through this, remember? My S.O. turned out to be a lying son of a -- Well, not Ward. Okay? Not Ward. Do you know why? Because he's our friend. Oh, Fitz. Your loyalty is really, really wasted on Ward.

If I know Skye, she's got a plan. That she does. And, as it happens, she also has a contingency plan.

Finally, some good news. -- Perimeter defenses activated. Never say that! Don’t you watch any TV?🤣

It'll take some major artillery to make a dent. -- Hangar door deactivated. You guys should really stop talking🤣 .

If I come out, will you shoot me? 'cause then I won't come out. Classic Coulson. And Talbot is such the perfect foil for him.

I vetted Ward. Yes. And clearly a poop would have been a more appropriate graphical description than a porcupine😁 .

If [Garrett] was sitting right here and you could say anything you want, what would you say? Would you say he's disgusting? Would you tell him he's a disgusting, backstabbing traitor? Or to rot in hell? *We* know you’re not talking about Garrett, let’s see how long it takes Ward to catch up.

Skye, we’ve been made. [...] No. I tipped them off. Hail Hydra. Woo-Hoo!! And it took him the entire conversation. She really had to spell it for him.

You let her get one over on you.That's exactly what Garrett was afraid of. He knew you had a soft spot for Skye and she might take advantage of it. -- Well, he was wrong. LOL, yeah, keep telling yourself that.

That headbutt would make a Krogan proud.

I'm not a Nazi. -- Yes, you are. It is exactly what you are. [...] You know, you always had that Hitler youth look to you. So it's really not that surprising. Her outrage here gives me life everytime.

So even though you've been lying to everyone about everything, you're saying that your feelings for me -- They're real, Skye. They always have been. -- I'm gonna throw up. And here, ladies, is a proper response when murderers and generally creepy guys declare their feelings for you. Headbutts are extra.

And you know what? You were right about one thing. I wouldn't like the real you. -- Someday. Someday, you'll understand. No. I won’t. Well. Sort of. You’ll say it to a digital and less offensive version but to this day I’m still not sure whether you really meant it or you were just trying to make him feel better.

He's a murderer. -- Yes, he is. -- Are you? Happily, not. Unhappily, we’re all going to regret it.

Put the password in. Start the hack. Is this a bad time to point out that it’s not a hack if you have the password? Even more so when you’re the one who encrypted the drive in the first place. There’s no hacking or cracking going on here.

A lot of us lost respect for Fury when he picked you as his second. If he needed eye candy around, he could have at least picked Romanoff. Ward resorting to generic sexist assholism. Color me shocked.

It's okay. I can take Ward. Uhm. Ok. I know you can fight Phil but I don’t know. He almost killed May twice.

Tell me that you're not Hydra. -- What? -- I know that it's ridiculous, but I just need to hear you say it. -- I'm not Hydra. And once again Jemma made me super paranoid about her, back in the day

I left them a little present when I decrypted the drive. Should help 🤩 🤩.

To be clear, I'm recommending the termination of project T.A.H.I.T.I. Under no circumstances should these procedures or drugs be administered to anyone ever. The cost is far too great. Well, bright side: at least he knows the guy in charge wasn’t Hydra.

#agents of s.h.i.e.l.d #aosrewatch #aosrewatchs1 #aos season 1 #daisy johnson #phil coulson #melinda maria #jemma simmons #leopold fitz #antoine triplett #grant ward #maria hill #text post #rewatchingaos #aos 1x20 #rewatchingaos1

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dragonsbookofshadows · 3 years ago

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I think I’m cheating at this, but why not?

* Tool for spellwork. I don’t have one for spellwork but I do love my tarot deck so yeah 😎. (Lol totally cheating)

* Crystals. I love shiny rocks. And I’m already unable to use candles anyway.

* The garden. I already can’t even really do either, so giving up my limited cooking skills is a no brainer really. Also I so badly love plants and want a bunch of houseplants and a garden, but I can not keep a plant alive.

* Not remembering spells I think. Just because as long as I have the spell it’s not necessarily that be a big deal if I don’t remember it. But not being able to do something like spell jars would make me sad lol.

* Never use runes. They don’t really speak to me all that much, but sigils do very much. (Though I hope this doesn’t count fictional runes. I have a whole story that uses them!)

And now to the hard ones!

* Only being able to write it down. That’s mainly how I do it now anyway. But I do have this blog, thought it’s mostly me just rebloging others things so. Still as soon as the option is no longer available is when I would think of all the ways it would be useful.

* Can’t I say neither? Sigh… fire then I suppose. Salt has a lot of uses, but fire is a bit more restricted on account of, well, being fire. (Not that there isn’t a lot of uses for fire, just that they can’t always be done on account of safety.)

Let's play a witchy game of would you rather. Reblog this and tell me what you choose! Can't choose both options, can't say neither. Would you rather...

• Give up your favorite divination tool or give up your favorite tool for spellwork?

• Have an endless supply of candles or have an endless supply of crystals?

• Have the garden of your dreams and your plants never die, but at the cost of losing your cooking skills (may all your bacon burn), or have everything you cook come out perfect every time, but be unable to keep a garden alive?

• Never be able to do jar spells again or never be able to remember the spells you customize yourself?

• Never use sigils again or never use runes again?

• Be restricted to only being able to write down information about your craft or be restricted to only being able to type information about your craft on a computer (can't print it out- it has to stay on a file on your computer)?

• Never use salt in your craft again or never use fire in your craft again?

#this was fun lol #meme #grimoire

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jgvfhl · 2 years ago

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Absolutely fucking LOST IT at LEAST three times during this chapter and got TWO whole art ideas to add to the pile holy CRAP

TIQ JUST DECKING THAT ASSHOLE?? amazing, incredible, talented, do it again

The Squad in fluff spa robes, that is such a good image what the hell 😂😂 i just imagine like an action movie-style squad pose like 😎 "it's warmth time" and it's KILLING me

LITTLE SMAUL GETTING SCRUBBIED BY HIS BEEG BROOOOOOOSSSS 😭 so rumbly so cute i can just see the little ^_^ face that cats make when you scratch their chins 🥺

An Unexpected Chance Pt. 14

Of Cultural Practices and Warmth

The transport finally arrived, a covered speeder that was operated by a Zabrak who pulled up at the bottom of the steps and grinned up at them as he opened the door so they could slide in. He was clearly Iridonian, closer to Agen’s coloration than Eeth, hair tied up in a sweeping braid. “Hey,” he called up to Tiq, Eeth and Agen first, delight on his face, “bulb burnt out again, Tiq?”

“Something to that end,” Tiq called back, his voice slurring softly. “You have room for six, yes?”

“Of course!” the Zabrak called out, clearly someone familiar to them if he knew Tiq’s name, “though who…” he paused, looking up, and Maul knew the moment he saw them because those brown eyes widened in realization, before the widest smile that he had ever seen. “You have NIGHTBROTHERS!” he called out. “You’re communal bathers, too?” he shouted out, pointing towards them, nothing but warmth and delight and joy bubbling out.

The laughter was loud and full, and Savage picked Maul up again, balancing him just above his hip.

“Oh, kitten,” Maul heard the Zabrak mutter, his eyes full of glee as they fixed on him.

“We are,” Savage said. “Do you take these three often?”

“Often enough,” the Zabrak laughed, “name’s Joric, hop on in, I’ll take you to The Spot.” Joric grinned wide, Eeth and Agen helping Tiq inside, Savage, and Feral coming after.

“Savage,” Savage introduced himself, putting a hand to his chest, Joric nodding in recognition.

“Feral,” Feral said.

“Maul,” he piped up, and Joric laughed aloud, grinning at them with delight visible in his expression.

“I love it,” he said, “I’m so glad…” he paused, “when I heard the news…when we heard the news that the Brothers had escaped from Dathomir…” He put the speeder into drive and pulled out. “About fucking time,” he said. “Pardon my language, little guy,” he said, sending a grin towards Maul, “it’s just…one of those things. You do what you can but if the Jedi can’t do it…” he shook his head. “I’m so glad to see you in this neck of the woods. Are you guys…pardon me, are you Brothers, or related?”

“We are Brothers,” Feral said, grinning, “but we are also brothers. We came to Coruscant looking for this one.” Feral hooked his fingers in Maul’s horns, shaking his head fondly.

“I’m so glad you found him,” Joric said, and there was nothing but honesty, nothing but warmth in his tone. “Coruscant’s a big place…” he paused, “you Apprentice to one of these three?” he asked, indicating the Jedi.

“Oh, I would love to,” Tiq said, “but no,” he shook his head, “he is Mace Windu’s pupil. Or he was.”

“Mace-Fucking-Windu,” Joric laughed aloud, “I love it, that’s fantastic! Are you going to continue with your Jedi training then? Or are you going to leave with them?”

“They are going to stay,” Maul said, holding both of their hands, the two of them immediately nodding.

“No kidding,” Joric called out, “aren’t they too old for Jedi training?”

“Traditionally,” Eeth said, “but things are changing, and Nightbrothers are already close to the Force as it is. But this has not been discussed at all, and so we shall leave speculation out of it. No matter what they choose they are free to stay at the Temple for as long as they want.”

“Done deal,” Joric grinned, “I’m fucking glad for that. It’s damn good to see you three,” Joric said.

“Thank you,” Savage said, “I…appreciate that.”

Joric piloted the speeder through the city of Coruscant, an idle stream of chatter filling the cab as he talked about anything from a new tax to the various restaurants they could try. Savage and Feral were enthralled, the two of them listening to everything that was said with complete focus, Agen and Eeth explaining things as they went. Tiq sat with his head leaned back against the seat, squished between Eeth and Agen, the temperature of the cab kept up just enough to remain comfortable, but clearly good for reptiles.

Maul watched as the sky grew darker, taking in the signs of rain on the horizon. They always promised rain after dark, and they always delivered. It would be nice.

Maul liked the rain.

The Spot came into view soon, Joric pointing it out to them with a call to the Nightbrothers in particular. It was a beautiful place, all sweeping lines and reflective panels, a medley of Zabrak and Rodians scattered around the outside, most of them either leaving or going in. There was a pattern, Maul noticed, Rodians leaning next to a Zabrak or two, easily guiding them in, though the Rodians were leaving on their own power, laughing, delighting in the Zabraks calling out to familiar ones and helping their friends in.

Maul had had no idea… Feral and Savage were also leaning up towards the glass with him, a swell of amazement and gleeful anticipation filling the cab.

“Yeah, that’s The Spot, alright,” Joric grinned, “longest-standing spa of its kind. Been in Coruscant over fifty years, renovated at least four times… It’s a good place if you’re a Zabrak, good place if you’re a Rodian. Others are obviously welcome,” he said, nodding towards a few Twi’lek and Togruta, as well as a couple of humans. “But we tend to like it warmer than most other species are comfortable with. We’ve also got a long-standing camaraderie. You can be in our spaces, just don’t be a dick.”

“Or you get thrown out on your ass,” Agen said clearly. “Which reminds me, if you have any issues with anyone please let us know. We’ll absolutely handle it.” The expression on Agen’s face spoke to a very violent way of handling it, but Eeth said nothing to the contrary, instead nodding grimly.

They swung in for a landing upon one of the docking bays as another transport left, Joric waving obviously towards the one leaving, Maul able to see someone within waving back. The landing was smooth, the doors to the side swinging open to the top, letting them all out. Agen reached back in and paid Joric, the Zabrak giving them a loud call of goodbye and taking off.

Maul turned, taking in The Spot closer, smelling the scent of green growing things, and softer flowering smells. There was also a smell of warm water, and the slightly sharp smell of something a bit…unpleasant, just underneath all the green. But it was not overpowering, and certainly was not terrible. Agen leaned closer to them, and quietly, “pheromones. Rodians have them, they don’t tend to apply suppressors or whatever while they’re here and we don’t tend to ask them to.”

Savage and Feral nodded, “It is not bad,” Feral said. “Compared to the swamps of Dathomir it’s even pleasant.”

“I could definitely understand that,” Eeth nodded hugely, and there was a quiet laugh that spread. Tiq hummed.

“I am better than a swamp,” he said, “that is reassuring.”

Feral flinched, almost instinctively reaching out to touch him, before just as immediately pulling back.

“No, no,” Tiq said softly, reaching a hand out towards him, Feral immediately reaching out in turn, “I do not mind if you touch me,” he said, holding Feral’s hand, “and similarly I do not take…offense,” he smiled. “It is a biological quirk in the same way your noses are very sensitive. You are alright to notice this and comment on it, it has become an almost long-standing joke back and forth, and there is nothing but affection in it. I can feel your affection,” he noted softly, squeezing. “Do not worry about hurting my feelings.”

Feral smiled at him, “okay, thank you, Tiq. I am…there are things that I am still getting used to.”

“And there is no shame or blame in that,” Tiq smiled, lopsided. “Now…let us go in. I would like to be able…to think straight. I got a bit warmer in the speeder, but the air out here is cold.”

“It’s going to rain soon,” Eeth said.

“Then let us get in,” Agen said, and bustled them forward. Feral picked Maul up as they went, balancing him on the shoulder.

This had the added consequence of letting Maul get a better view of everyone…but similarly gave everyone a better view of him.

There was a gradual sweeping silence, Rodians and Zabraks alike turning to look at first Maul, and then trail down to the Jedi standing there…and Maul’s brothers holding him.

The first thing that greeted the realization that there were Nightbrothers in The Spot was a gradually growing appreciative mumbling, and Maul could feel the swell of realization, the happiness that this caused. He could see the way that the Rodians and the Zabraks had both taken steps towards them, smiles and various grins pulling across faces.

But he could also see some of the less enthusiastic takes, including from a human that was eyeing Maul with something bordering dislike…and in fact may be utter distaste.

Maul wanted to shrink towards his brother, reaching down towards Savage who was reaching up to him, Feral reaching to transfer him from his shoulder to his hip…

“Didn’t realize that they started ‘em so young,” the human said snidely. “Though I guess with a communal bathing culture what else could you expect.”

Maul felt as his brothers…stilled.

Tiq, however, Tiq did not.

Tiq straightened his back, and even as a call of realization and disgust began spreading from the rest of them, the utter revulsion of bared fangs and large eyes narrowed into the barest of slits, Tiq stumbled forward. The human didn’t move, clearly sneering at him with something like superiority, his chin tilting up.

Tiq took hold of his chin, patted it for a moment, trailed it up, the human sneering at him, opening his mouth to say something else…

Tiq wound up and punched him square in the jaw, a loud crack sounding as the human collapsed to the ground in a graceless heap.

Tiq straightened his robes, turned back to them, “Coming?” he asked.

They followed, loud laughter and calls of appreciation following, those close enough patting Tiq on the back. They gave their quiet whispered words of welcome and happiness at seeing them to the Nightbrothers, the words and the sentiment rising up in Maul’s chest.

It was warm.

Tiq led them into the building, the doors opening and letting a wave of humidity pour out. It was actually inviting, Maul closing his eyes and tilting his chin up. The smell was a bit stronger now that they were inside, but the flowers and other growing things helped to balance it out well enough that it was barely noticeable. It was clear that they had been working on something that allowed both peoples to flourish for a while.

Tiq walked to the counter that was hosted by two Zabrak, the both of them smiling at the Healer as he approached.

“Hello, Healer,” the one on the right said, female, her head shaved, horns crowning her. She froze at the sight of the Nightbrothers behind him, a wide beaming smile spreading across her face. At the way Maul’s brothers huddled slightly she paused, her expression shifting from something like surprised hurt to naked realization.

“Hello, Zi,” Tiq said softly, gaining the female Zabrak’s attention, Zi immediately looking back to Tiq. “There is a gentleman…out cold upon your doorstep. I put him there. He made a reference towards…starting them out young,” he hissed the words, slow, leaning forward.

Zi’s expression tightened, her mouth in a thin line, “Qinuy,” she said to her partner, “I need you to clear off the trash, please.”

“My pleasure,” Qinuy said easily, straightening up.

“I’m terribly sorry about that,” Zi said, standing up, “The Spot has been a safe spot for all who enter since my father started it fifty years ago. It is not going to lose its status under my watch. You have nothing to fear here,” she said, and her voice was so firm. “There is a co-ed section but there are also segmented ones, you will be left in peace. The usual for you?”

“Please,” Tiq said, holding out a credit chip. Zi made the transaction, got them towels, and gestured towards Tiq, Agen, and Eeth.

“They will be more than capable of guiding you,” she said, “please enjoy your time at The Spot, we are very happy to have you.”

“Thank you,” Feral said softly.

“By the way,” she said before they could leave, “you, little kitten, are adorable,” she said, beaming up at Maul and he huffed, rolling his eyes, which only set the adults off laughing, Zi’s own laughter loud.

Eeth and Agen walked them deeper into the spa, talking to various people who talked to them, carefully catching Tiq’s arm as they walked, and he started wobbling towards the wall.

“Easy, Tiq,” Agen grinned, before laughing, “I can’t believe you did that! In front of so many people!”

“What are they going to be saying about the Jedi now?” Eeth asked, “hauling off and hitting people?”

“We are keepers of the peace,” Tiq sniffed, a loud and particularly sharp sound, “and I kept the peace!”

The shriek of laughter was loud and delighted, Agen folding in half with the motion, taking Tiq down with him, the Rodian giving a loud and upset noise, ultimately being saved from falling completely to the floor by Agen sitting and holding Tiq up at the shoulders, still howling. Maul was delighted.

Feral and Savage both laughed so hard they were falling into each other, Maul precariously balanced upon Feral’s hip, the three of them leaning into each other and so…

“Besides,” Tiq mumbled, looking up at them, his eyes narrowed into slits, “he got off easy, frankly, if I had been a bit more coherent…ooohhhh~ He’s damn lucky that I could not fully psychoanalyze the hypocrisy of sneering at using a bathhouse like that when he is going to one.” Feral and Savage both were sinking to the ground, even as Tiq continued, “I would have given myself…perhaps three minutes before he was renouncing every life choice that led to this minute…and similarly never wanted to show his face in Rodian and Zabrak circles again!” He paused then, slowly working himself onto his knees and looking back at them. “He had no right to talk to you like that,” he said. “And I am sorry that was the first thing that you encountered.”

“No,” Savage rumbled, “do not apologize.” He reached forward, gently touching Tiq’s shoulder, “the first thing you have taught us is the fact that you are willing to defend us if you need to. You do not just speak, Healer, you act, and I am…grateful.”

Tiq smiled at him. “Compassion is the action that develops from care,” he said, “and I care deeply.”

“I believe it,” Feral said softly. “Thank you.”

“Now can I please get off the floor now?” Tiq asked. “I would…I would like to get to a room.”

“Up we get, Tiq,” Eeth said, laughing, helping him up. They all worked their way up and headed towards a set of doors. “This area is for those that are only comfortable with other women,” he said indicating it, and they continued on until they found another set of doors. “These are for mixed! These are good for large families or anyone that doesn’t mind,” he said and took them farther on. It was clear that a lot of space had been devoted to these three sections as the hall seemed to be enormous, passing several people as they went. They were treated with quiet sounds of excitement at the sight of them, lots of words of happiness at the fact that they were free.

It was…it was nice, Maul reflected, even if he did feel strangely small underneath all of the scrutiny. Finally, though, Eeth took them to one last set of doors, “and these are for those that are only comfortable with men only.” He turned, “there are also more individualized private rooms, or ones that are smaller that would still fit us comfortably. Our usual is actually one of the private rooms, which will be big enough for the six of us but won’t open us up to a lot of questions. We pay extra for it, but it’s a great deal more relaxing, and also means you won’t have to deal with staring.”

“Thank you,” Savage and Feral both said, Maul nodding as well.

“Of course,” Eeth waved off, “they are down this hall.” So, saying, he led them down a long hallway that branched off from the hall they were in, and clearly held smaller, but no less comfortable looking rooms, the ones that were available open.

They stopped at one towards the back, “Oh,” Tiq mumbled, “my favorite~”

“I think we’re going to go in this one then,” Agen laughed.

“Sounds reasonable,” Savage laughed.

“It’s got my favorite rock,” Tiq said simply, sniffing.

“Oh, well that is a good reason,” Feral grinned.

They entered in the room, which Maul realized held little cubbies for their things, as well as slippers and robes that had been left out for them. They came in various sizes, from very big, to very little, different numbers of arm-holes available if needed.

“You may use a robe if you would like,” Eeth said, closing the door and twisting the handle that marked it ‘occupied’ and locked it at the same time. “And if you would all prefer we will be very happy to do so.”

“What are your rules for this sort of thing?” Savage asked, “do you have things that are unspoken?”

“Oh, that is a smart question,” Tiq blinked. “Rodians are not big on touch,” he said. “Looking is one thing, and because I would assume you would have questions since you have been in such an insular planet I do not mind answering them, but please do not touch me. Other Rodians are the same way, and if you do decide to be within the communal spaces ever, they do want a bit of space.”

“Understood,” Savage and Feral said, Maul nodding firmly as Feral lowered him to the ground. “Touching is generally allowed above my navel and up,” Savage said, “but I would prefer you let me know before you do.”

“It is the same with me,” Feral nodded.

“We have a similar rule,” Eeth said, gesturing towards Agen who was smiling. “Similarly, I do not mind if you want to wash my hair.” He grinned wide, and Feral made a soft sound of delight.

“Oh, thank the Fanged One,” he breathed, and Eeth threw his head back and laughed.

“I don’t mind it either,” Agen grinned. “You have never experienced it before, so I do not mind if you want to test the texture. Also, I like getting my hair washed by friends, so it is a good experience.”

“It is a rather typical bonding activity,” Eeth nodded.

“Horn polishing,” Feral said, indicating his horns. “Lotion is another really important ritual, particularly outside of the swamps.”

“Oh, that is the same!” Agen exclaimed.

“Oh, do they have some?” Feral asked.

“They do!” Eeth smiled. “But come on, Tiq is about to crawl out of his skin.”

“No, I am not,” Tiq denied, “it is not a shed day.”

There was a delighted laugh, even as Feral made a sharp sound, “you are a reptile, you do shed your skin??”

“At least once a year!” Tiq said. “If I am off a year then that is bad, but more than once is fine.”

“Robes or no?” Agen asked, holding up one of the fluffy white bath robes.

To Maul’s surprise, both of his brothers looked at him, “what about you, little Mauler, your choice. And no shame in either way,” Feral said, ducking down to his level. “You don’t have to feel pressured either way. Do you have any rules that you would like us to follow?”

Maul hesitated for a moment, looking to the robes, before looking to them. It was a cultural thing. There were rules, they had rules and they had ways of doing things. They were safe, Maul was safe.

He paused for a longer moment, and then reached out towards his brothers, each of them taking his hands. “You can wash me,” he said softly, “but do not touch me without me saying it is okay.”

“Of course,” Feral said softly, butting his horns very gently against Maul’s, a movement echoed by Savage.

“I do…” he paused, “I think…robes first, please?”

“Of course!” Eeth said, and immediately handed the littlest robe towards Maul. They all gave each other space, removing clothing and placing it within their chosen cubby, Maul shrugging the robe on before pushing the cubby back into the slot for it. He slid the slippers on his feet and promptly buried his face within the soft fabric of the robe’s sleeves. It felt so nice.

“Good choice, Maul,” Eeth said softly, “these are nice.”

“I don’t usually bother with them,” Agen said, “I regret that now.”

There was a laugh and when Maul turned they were all in the large fluffy robes and finally opened the door to their little corner of the spa.

It was gorgeous.

There were flowers and other greenery encircling large flat rocks that led to a large pool in the center, fed by a constantly churning waterfall. The light was warm and genuinely felt like standing within the sun, shining down from a singular port in the ceiling to give it an almost artificial-sunlight sort of feel, the shadows all cast from that singular spot.

There was also a very large very flat rock placed right beneath it.

“My beloved~” Tiq cooed, and immediately began walking over towards the rock.

Maul couldn’t help the giggles that left him, particularly as Tiq kicked the slippers away and promptly slid atop it.

“Do you mind if I strip?” Tiq asked, face down upon the rock, his voice muffled.

“Is that a typical way to bask?” Savage asked.

“Yes!” Tiq said, looking up at them as he propped himself up on his arms. “You bask nude to get the full effect of not just the heat but the vitamin D that the sun provides. Our clothes then act as an insulator. I will be able to make it for a full night like that!”

“Please do so if you need it,” Maul said, “the light in here actually works to provide vitamins?”

“It does,” Tiq answered, shrugging out of the robe as he did so, still face-down upon the rock, folding it up neatly and placing it near him as he stretched out completely. “Heat, my best friend, thank you~”

Agen laughed quietly, “they have some of the best artificial sunlight technology in the business,” he said to Maul. “They have spared no expense, and it is of good benefit to Rodians, as you can tell. It’s also good for us technically. Now, come on, let’s get in the pool.”

Maul followed Agen and Eeth over to the pool, Savage and Feral following him. Agen paused at the edge, looking back at Maul, his fingers over the edges of his robe.

Maul trusted.

He nodded his head and Agen stripped it off, sliding into the pool, Eeth following after. Feral and Savage both folded their robes before sliding in. They paused for a moment, and it was only when Feral walked over towards a shallower part and reached out for Maul that he realized that Feral had been looking to see where the shallowest portion was.

“Come on,” he said with a smile, “you can touch here.”

Maul took a breath, shrugged his robe off, and stepped into the water.

It was nice.

He took Feral’s hand, letting his brother guide him deeper, following him into the water which was a very pleasant temperature and reminiscent of Padmé’s pool. The difference was the constantly churning waterfall, which Maul was immediately enamored by. He started heading that way automatically, Feral laughing quietly, following him, holding his hand as they got closer to it and the water got a bit deeper.

The water stopped at Maul’s shoulders, something he was grateful for, reaching out towards the falling water. It rained on his palm heavily, a cooler temperature than the water he was standing in, but it was a nice feeling. He smiled at Feral, who grinned at him. “Up?” he asked, indicating that he would lift Maul into it. After a moment Maul nodded, feeling as Feral caught him under the arms and lifted him up, holding him in the waterfall for a moment as Maul held his breath.

It was a glorious feeling, heavier than a shower, drumming against his skull delightfully, and when Feral took him out he let go of the breath he was holding, giggling as Feral put him back in the water. Feral beamed at him. Maul found himself trailing his eyes over Feral’s markings for the first time, really examining them. They were so different to his own, Feral’s seeming to outline instead of Maul’s own…

And then his gaze latched on something that he hadn’t noticed before.

Feral had red tattooed around his arm. It was thicker than his other marks, outlined in…black… Feral caught his gaze, lowering himself in the water and holding his arm out. Maul hesitated, before slowly reaching out, tracing over the skin.

“It’s for you,” Feral said so quietly, and Maul blinked, looking to meet Feral’s gaze, which was soft. “It was for the brother I lost and thought I would never see again.” The smile that pulled at Feral’s mouth was gentle, and he reached a hand out, one Maul leaned his head against, closing his eyes. “I’m pleased that I was wrong. Now, come on, do you want to wash, or do you want to play in the water some more?”

Maul hesitated, looked back at the waterfall, and then looked to Feral. His attention was drawn back to where he could see Savage rubbing at Agen’s head, soap bubbles frothing, Agen beaming, his eyes closed, leaning back so the soap wouldn’t get in his eyes. Eeth’s laughter finally pealed out, delighted amusement on his face. Savage looked absolutely fascinated.

“Wash, please,” Maul said finally, looking up at Feral. Feral beamed at him, taking his hand and taking him over to where the water was lower, Feral himself sinking into it more as he went, swim-hopping forward almost. But it nonetheless let Maul see the lines that trailed over Feral’s back, the places where the brown of Feral’s tattoos were broken and his skin peaked out. “What do your markings mean?” Maul asked softly.

Feral made a soft sound, turning to look at him, and Maul was also aware of how Savage had frozen, only to hurriedly sweep the soap away from Agen’s forehead when he gave a quiet exclamation, flinching away from the bubbles. Maul turned back to Feral, who smiled at him, lowering himself down to sit in the water, and held his arm out to him.

Maul hesitated for a moment and then reached over once again, touching Feral’s hand, taking in the marks that wound around his left hand. They were swirling and gradual, trailing up his arm. Feral’s right hand did not have any marks upon it. Maul trailed his fingers up to his elbow, taking in the diamond pattern at its center darkened rings surrounding it. Feral’s patterning was very geometric, very regular compared to his own, and what he had seen of Wither’s as well. When Maul glanced towards Savage he decided that this was also in comparison to him.

“Tenacity,” Feral said softly, “and Strength. That is what I am marked for. You see it within the geometric shape, in the way that I am not fully marked.” He grinned slightly, holding out his right hand that did not have any of the tattoos upon it. “Recently Tenacity has become more common among us as it has grown one of the most needed.” He paused. “We have been fighting a long time. It is…good that we do not have to fight as much. It is good that we do not have to be as Strong. That we can be free.”

Maul said nothing for a moment, trailing his finger over the swirls that decorated Feral’s knuckles, and finally looking up at him. “I’m happy you’re here,” he breathed, “I’m happy…I’m happy you’re with me.” He paused, “I didn’t know…that I had brothers. I didn’t know that we could be free. I had thought…my Master told me that we were nothing. Worth nothing and for nothing. Filth and dirt, and…” he paused. “I didn’t want to be nothing,” Maul breathed, looking up at Feral. “I didn’t know I could be anything else.”

Feral stared at him for a moment, those eyes so wide, so gold, so… “You’re my brother,” Feral breathed, “you freed us. Your Master was wrong. And he will always be wrong. Even us, even your brothers on Dathomir…we were not Nothing. I am Strength and Tenacity; Savage is Protection and Loyalty. We are brothers. We are us; you are you,” he smiled, “and that is worth being. Now come,” he said softly, “which one of these smells the best?”

Feral took him over to the soaps, letting Maul sniff at them. Some of them were so sweet that they made Maul sneeze, and sneeze, and sneeze, and sneeze, loud sharp and sudden, and he nearly fell into the water, Feral catching him and righting him, his laughter warm and heavy. “Not that one, I would thing,” he grinned, and put it far away. Agen lifted it in the air with the Force and put it farther away. Tiq caught it in the air and curled around it, which was the final thing that sent Maul into giggles.

He finally found one that smelled nice without being overpowering, one that Feral agreed with and offered to Savage to smell. Savage nodded once in decision, holding out the cloths that they had found to wash with. Feral poured the soap onto the cloth, rubbing it to froth it and then held the cloth out towards Maul, mischievous delight on his face.

“Do you mind?” he asked.

Maul frowned at him, before shrugging, taking a step forward into range. Feral reached out, Maul instinctively closing his eyes as it went towards his face…and then he felt the warmth of it underneath his chin. The cloth was soft, smelled delightful, and the water was warm, rubbing back and forth gently, and before Maul quite knew what was happening he had sunk into it, a purr rising up in his chest that he couldn’t bite down no matter how hard he tried.

This…was nice…

Feral was biting his lip.

He was biting his lip because he knew if he let go of his lip he would start cooing.

He knew if he started to coo he would absolutely cause his brother to react in offense.

He knew if Maul reacted in offense that would mean that he would stop with what he was currently doing.

And what Maul was doing was the cutest and most adorable thing that Feral had ever seen.

Maul’s eyes had closed, his head tilting up and forward as he tried his best to get the underside of his chin within the reach of Feral’s washcloth and purring his little chest out.

Feral was very aware of Savage approaching quietly, his own cloth ready, and Feral pouted at him, but he quit rubbing at Maul’s chin just long enough for those big eyes to finally open, looking up at him with something like a pout, but then he noticed Savage.

“Back of your head?” Savage asked gently, holding the cloth up in offer. Maul hesitated, taking in Savage and Feral both, before finally nodding, and as Feral reached out once again closed his eyes.

They worked on cleaning him carefully, listening to the happy rumbling purrs, the soft stutter that sometimes shuttered through him, Maul’s purr not as healthy as others his age. It was clear, Feral thought, that Maul had not been given much reason to purr in his life. It was a tragedy.

Feral washed Maul’s arm gently, taking in those marks that covered him, the blackness to them, and smiled softly. They were for Maul.

They were good.

Savage had a look on his face Feral recognized, he realized, looking up at his older brother whose expression was so…soft, so sad. Savage had been robbed of this opportunity. For twenty-seven years they had been robbed of it. Robbed of the opportunity of seeing Maul grow, of taking care of him, of teaching him their ways and making sure that his purr was strong and full…

Feral had wanted to weep.

Feral had listened to Maul speak of what he had believed, what his Master had told him and wanted to weep. It was not fair; it was not right… To have been told all of that… They finally finished, pulling back. Maul slowly, carefully opened his eyes, looking up at them through those half-lidded eyes and utterly overcome… Feral leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

“I love you, little brother,” Feral said softly, “you have never been nothing. You have always been my twin, and you have always been someone I loved.”

Maul’s face crumpled, and he reached out, taking hold of Feral’s hand, squeezing it.

They let Maul continue washing himself, Feral instead turning towards Eeth, who had been busy washing, the soap suds taken away by what Feral had to assume was some sort of filtering system. Eeth caught his eye and grinned, holding up the bottle of what Feral now knew was something called ‘shampoo’ after Agen had explained it to Savage. Feral beamed at him.

Feral found he rather liked washing hair.

Maul finished cleaning and found his eyes trailing over to Tiq, who was still lying on the rock. Feral and Savage had gone back to playing with Agen’s and Eeth’s hair, cleaning themselves and each other between moments, leaving him quite unnoticed. Tiq had turned to lay on his side, still stretched out as much as possible.

Maul understood that Rodians were not big on touching, and Maul did not necessarily want to touch him at all…but…he was curious…

Tiq made basking look so nice, his eyes closed, arm thrown over his eyes… Maul was curious…and he would certainly dry quicker under the light like that…

Maul climbed out of the water, taking the towel and rubbing it over himself briefly to get rid of most of the excess, before finally padding his way over quietly. Tiq opened an eye lazily when Maul got close enough, turning his attention to him with a soft smile.

“Hello, Maul,” he said softly, and he was sounding a great deal more like the Tiq that Maul knew, though his blinks were still lazy, his gaze still just a little bit hazy.

“Hello,” Maul said equally softly, “do you mind if I bask near you, too?” he asked, pointing to the rock that was next to Tiq. Tiq looked at the rock that Maul indicated, for a moment clearly considering, and Maul watched as distinct disgust appeared on his face.

“Subpar rock,” Tiq sniffed, and to Maul’s shock rolled over slightly, putting his back to Maul but also freeing up a significant portion of the rock. “Hatchlings always allowed,” Tiq stated, and for a moment Maul did not quite comprehend the meaning.

And then it hit him.

Maul stood there for a moment, utterly still, punched to the core of his soul, before finally, slowly lying down next to Tiq, feeling the way soft scales – heated by the sunlight pressed against his back. There was a soft click, Maul realizing that Tiq had made it low in his chest, reassurance and…safety sweeping out over him…

And Maul closed his eyes, thinking of the people that had brought him here, thought of warm wash cloths and hugs, braiding fistfuls of hair, being held on shoulders and allowed to press close to people that generally did not like touch…

And knew that he was loved.

#star wars #star wars fanfic #an unexpected chance #darth maul #healer tiq #agen kolar #eeth koth #feral opress #savage opress

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