#Me impulsively piercing my ear with household items

[mggpleasedontlookhere]

mother’s care

summary: spencer leaves his mother in y/n’s care, but with her violent outbursts she severely injures y/n

word count: 3,331                                                                                     reading time aprox: 13 mins

masterlist

It had been a few days since Spencer had left his mother in my care, and it had been more than a few days since my conscience was clear of worry. The pressing dichotomy between Spencer’s family and work life had been putting a strain on the quality of his life, in which I took it upon myself, with the highest sense of internal deliberation, to offer my services. The thought of lessening the weight on Spencer’s shoulders was the only thing keeping my motivation alive; other than the innate responsibility I had to care for my future mother-in-law. Witnessing the gravity of Spencer’s tired eyes shift into a brighter gleam as he was relieved of being tethered at home, made the strenuous work I endured worthwhile. But the thought could only do so much considering Diana’s behavior became exponentially volatile. 

Spencer had just left for work only hours ago when Diana’s delusions became rampant, her paranoia increasing along with it. “Y/N! Y/N! We have to go now, they’re coming for us!” She yelled frantically while flailing her arms sporadically. “W-we have to hide- we- I- we can’t trust anyone Y/N! Call Spencer!” She rushed towards the peephole of the front door, slamming her palms against the wooden frame. “Where’s my son?!” She screamed profusely. 

In urgency, I grabbed a hold of her wrists to restrict her from hurting herself as she did a few days ago. “Diana- hey, stop that- Diana it’s me Y/N” I struggled to fight against her resistance as she persisted to bludgeon the door with all her might. “Diana! Please! Loo- Look it’s me, I promise!” I urged, finally ceasing her attacks and calming her down to a manageable temper. 

Then just a moment later, all of her anger dissipated as if nothing had occurred previously. “Oh! Hello there Y/N, when did Spencer let you in?” She inquired, ridding herself of my grasp and laying herself down on the couch. I sighed, propping myself up on the back of the door as I composed myself. “Oh my gosh, my scrapbook” She stated in bewilderment, glancing at the book of memories on the coffee table that Spencer had placed to induce her recollection of events. 

“Yes it is” I smiled, pushing the previous outburst aside with an understanding temperance. “Would you like to look through it?” I suggested, making slow strides towards the book that was, now, well adjusted on her lap. 

“That would be nice” She replied sweetly with a giddy smile. She took my suggestion as a notion to begin exploring the scrapbook, flipping through the beginning pages of the memoir. “Would you look at this Y/N!” She excitingly pointed at a picture of a young boy while I settled next to her on the plain colored couch. With an extensive observation of the picture she was referencing, I had come to find out that the little boy was no other than Spencer himself. 

She shook her head in remembrance as I observed her deep in reminiscence, admiring how, for just a moment, clarity had filled her heart and mind. “This was Spencer’s first chess tournament when he was only five years old” She regaled, speaking of her pride and joy in his youth. “At five years old, the boy won against men that were ten times his age- can you believe that!” She expressed, an incredulous smile etching on her lips as she flipped to the next page. 

“Spencer had told me that he had won his first tournament at age four” I added jokingly as the atmosphere began to regain a more pleasant air. I reached for a throw pillow that resided on the end of the couch, tucking it between my knees and chest for comfort. 

“That silly boy” She teasingly scoffed in disbelief as she racked through her distinct memories; shaking her head at the utterance of my words. “He had lost his first chess match when he was four, but he was too proud to ever accept defeat” She explained, flipping through several pages as she spoke. I chucked in response, understanding the familiar- or might I say all too familiar- discourse of Spencer’s intelligent pride. 

“Oh Y/N, dear, look at this with me” She beckoned me to take notice of a picture of a man on a tightrope, only the man’s face was replaced by an old cut-out of Spencer’s young visage. “Did you know that he wanted to be a tightrope walker?” She revealed, laying a gentle hand on the paper memory. 

“I thought he wanted to be a magician?” I inquired.

“Oh, that was afterwards-” She proceeded to pat my thigh in a motherly manner as if I was her own child. “-after he fell off of our fence in the backyard” She chuckled, meeting my amused gaze with her own. I let her sink into her own world, satisfied with her sedated state of mind as I made my way towards my phone to check the time. 

3:28 p.m.

Unfortunately, that meant I had to pull Diana from her comfortable space to give her the medication prescribed from the clinic and the experimental drug that Spencer had placed her on. “Hey Diana” I softly whispered, gaining her attention. “It's time to take your medication” I informed her with an apologetic look. 

“Nah, I don’t like the medicine that Spencer’s been giving me” She waved off casually with a grimace on her face. “They taste awful” She didn’t look up from the book once, disregarding the task that needed to be done. 

“Please Diana” I pleaded, heading to the kitchen cupboards to acquire her prescriptions; going to Spencer’s dresser to fetch the experimental drugs that were included in her regime. “Spencer had strict orders for me and you know how he gets” I playfully insinuated in the hopes of lighting up the tense ambiance. I continued to sift through Spencer’s cabinets- which was an absolute abhorrence to look at, let alone scavenge through- in the means of finding Diana’s prescriptions. 

“Shit” I quietly cursed as some household items fell onto the floor, emitting a loud crash. 

“WHAT WAS THAT!” Diana shrieked in terror, disturbed by the sudden disruption that sounded throughout the entire apartment. The sound of a heavy thud from a book in the next room followed Diana’s deafening shrills of panic, indicating that the crash had triggered another break from reality. “Y/N! Y/N! WHAT’S GOING ON- WHERE AM I?!” She cried in her unnerved state, stampeding into the kitchen as if her life depended on it. 

“He-hey it’s okay Diana-” I dropped the prescriptions on the kitchen counter in a hurry, ignoring the mess, to prioritize Diana’s abrupt outburst. “You’re here in Spencer’s apartment- your son’s apartment- with m-me. Look Di- Diana! Look you’re here with me” I reassured her once again. Although that didn’t put a stop to her labored breathing, trembling hands, and distraught eyes. 

“WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SON’S APARTMENT!” She vehemently spat in the midst of her frenzy. 

I grabbed the medication off of the counter in a haste, preparing to have them in hand for a window of opportunity in administering them. “Diana- please- Diana, it’s me Y/N- you have to take your medication” I negotiated with her, keeping my tone as amiable as I can. 

“GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!” She threatened, picking up one of Spencer’s textbooks and flinging it at the wall behind me. “GET AWAY FROM ME!” Items continued to soar through the air until Diana began to hysterically strike herself on the forehead. “GET OUT! GET OUT!” She squeezed her eyes shut, pulling at the sides of her hair. 

Without a second thought, I leaped to restrain her from further self-inflicting damage. “Hey Diana- Sto-stop that!” I pried her hands away from herself, balancing the prescription bottles in my hand whilst wrestling against her sporadic movements. “DIANA!” I yelled, feeling my chest heave in exasperation; her provocation of my patience wearing my understanding countenance thin. 

The booming sound of my voice infiltrated Diana’s sensitive ears, similar to one of a gunshot, making her cover her ears instinctively. “SHUT UP! GET AWAY FROM ME!” She wailed, her tone wavering as she enunciated her words. She forced her eyes shut once again, shaking her head while whispering a mantra to herself. 

“Diana...Please” I pleaded, softening my voice in guilt. I uncapped the prescriptions, taking out a few pills to showcase the medication essential to her condition. “If you just take your medicine, you’ll feel better- I promise- please!” I affirmed, taking close observation to her present behavior. She began unraveling from her mental cloud, taking frequent peeks at the pills that lay on my hand. With a tentative reach, she reached out for the drugs and retracted her arm as soon as she had taken possession of them.  

“Yes, Diana, they’ll make you feel better-” I sighed in relief, watching her examine the pills in her hand. “Do you want me to get you water? I- NO DIANA! STOP!” I halted mid sentence, the action of Diana pelting the wall with her pills impeding my ability to coerce her further. By instinct I picked up the pills in a frenzy of indignation, a slew of reprimands impulsively falling out of my lips, like a mother would to her petulant child.  

“What are you doi- DIANA! Why would you do that? I’m just trying to- STOP! I’M JUST TRYING TO HE-” 

A whiff of cold air glided through Diana’s fingers that followed her right hand. For a moment I felt time still, yet it took me an eternity to process the event that had unfolded in front of me- or which I would say to me. My cheek began to blare an ugly rouse, the painful sensation of throbbing encompassing the entirety of the left side of my face. I clutched my cheek in shock and confusion, unable to process her potent and unforeseen capabilities. “I- i, uh-” I stumbled over my tongue, my mind impuissant in regards to its verbal-cognitive skills. 

“JUST GET AWAY FROM ME!” 

In the last attempt of Diana’s impulse driven self-defense, she forcefully shoved me back into the dining table resulting in the wooden edge piercing my spine. I groaned in pain, clutching onto the end of the table as another slew of curses fell from my mouth. In the midst of the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I didn’t notice the stream of blood profusely flowing out of a large gash on my wrist where my veins were located. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” I panicked, inspecting a metal screw that protruded from beneath the table; the spiral tip now covered in blood and leftover skin. I rushed for my phone and a towel to ease the bleeding, although it was evident that I needed medical attention. Instinctively I dialed Spencer’s number on my phone with the hopes that he would pick up, although due to my misfortune, the call went into voicemail indicating his unavailability. 

By this time, Diana had left the room and locked herself in the bathroom; despite my constant worry of her being, all of my attention had been on contacting medical aid. With a brisk call, paramedics were being sent to the apartment and police officers to document the scene. I whined in pain while the hands on an analog clock, that hung in the kitchen, moved at a snail’s pace, my vision slowly dissipating as my blood enveloped the oak floor. 

I began whispering a comforting mantra to myself- or maybe it was all in my head- that Penelope had taught me. “Sa, Ta, N-na, Mm…” I shook my head to retain my consciousness, the black curtain between my blinks growing in duration. It felt as if my pupils had dilated and pulsed continuously, feeling every nerve in my body weaken along with my frail muscles. 

I hadn’t even noticed the paramedics bursting into the living room, let alone the doorbell ringing to indicate their presence. In a few slips of consciousness, two men in uniforms were placed in front of me to my aid. 

“Ma’am? Ma’am can you hear me?” One of them spoke, although with the combination of stampeding feet and muffled voices I wasn’t able to distinguish a coherent phrase. 

Suddenly with an unexpected shock of adrenaline, I was able to slightly ground myself in reality. “C-call Re-reid, Spencer Reid- FBI” I sputtered out, squinting my eyes at the medical kit that they placed on the floor. “Ple-please, Spen- AH” I whimpered, the paramedics applying alcohol to disinfect the wound. 

I directed my focus away, only for my eyes to land on Diana being taken away by a few police officers and a social worker. She was kicking in screaming, evidently in the middle of her psychotic break from before. She thrashed against the police officers restraints, scared out of her mind as she yelled her son’s name. 

“St-stop” I whispered, catching the gaze of one of the paramedics. “Sh-she’s- fuck- she needs help, she has Schizophrenia and Alzheimer” I informed them, watching their eyes go wide in surprise; one of them rushing off to spread the message to the officers. 

They carefully let her out of their hold, letting her scurry into a confined corner of the room before contacting her emergency contact: Spencer. The sole paramedic continued mandatory procedure with me, placing pressure on the gash while eavesdropping on the scene that unfolded behind him. 

“Spencer? That’s who you want to call right?” The man inquired. 

I nodded in response, grasping his arm. “Please hurry” I managed to say, letting my eyes lull into the back of my head in the attempt to relax. 

Finally in the midst of the chaos, a lanky figure flurried into the doorway in alacrity. His eyes first landed on his mother who was being approached by apprehensive officers, in which he informed them, again, of his mother’s condition; with this the police force let the man run over to his mother to sedate her. 

Then, his eyes fixated on my wavering gaze as he took a moment to take in the scene that laid in front of him. 

“Oh my god, oh my GOD Y/N” He lamented, rushing over to where me and the paramedic were situated. “Y/N- I- Oh my god, I’m so sorry- I shouldn’t hav-” Spencer rambled on, his somber eyes flickering from my face to my wrist. 

“Spencer, please don’t worry...I’ll be fine, go check on your mother. She needs you right now” I muttered. Although it seemed that he didn’t hear anything of what I had said as he continued to ramble through his anxious spiel. 

“I-i got your call, but I sent it to voicemail- I didn’t think- I- I didn’t know it was important- then I got the emergency call from my mot- I- I should’ve answer- Oh my god, I wasn’t there” He punished himself, squeezing his eyes in regret. 

“Spenc-” I attempted to interrupt, although was cut off when the paramedic had informed him that  needed to be transported to the hospital. 

-

After my check ups were done, the team swarmed into the hospital room in a flurry, but with no Spencer in sight. 

“Oh my god! Y/N I’m so glad you’re okay- I’m sure one of my hugs will make you feel extra better” Penelope rushed over to the side of my bed giving me an awkward, yet comforting, hug. 

JJ took this as an opportunity to inform me of my condition, explaining how the wound would take some time to heal, but everything else was fine. I nodded in gratitude, basking in the family that stood in front of me.

“You had us all worried Y/L/N” Hotch added, giving me a cordial nod. 

“Especially pretty boy” Morgan continued. “I’ve never seen him run out of the room so fast. But, I’m glad you’re okay” He comforted me, taking a stance next to Garcia. On cue, Spencer crept in the room with a melancholy, yet relieved expression on his face.

“Speaking of…” Emily trailed off, taking notice of Spencer’s immediate presence. “Let’s give them space” She filed the team out of the room to give me and Spencer privacy. 

The second they were out of sight he engulfed me in a crushing hug, whispering sweet apologies to me. He grasped my face in his hands, placing long kisses on my forehead as a form of consolation. “I’m so sorry Y/N” He sighed, keeping my face and his at an approximate distance. “I should’ve never left you” He antagonized himself, shutting his eyes in search of penance within himself. 

“Hey” I whispered, making him open up his eyes gracefully. “Spencer, you shouldn’t be sorry, it's your mom for god sake- she’s my family too- I would’ve done it again even if you didn’t ask me to” I reassured, drawing small patterns on the dip of his palm. 

“But she- I should’ve warned y-”

“Spencer, you have no control over what she does or how she is. Stop blaming yourself for not being there” I stated, pulling at his arm in a motherly manner. “Come here” I instructed him, tugging at the sleeves of his dress shirt. 

I pulled him into a gentle kiss in the hopes of making his self-reproaching thoughts dissipate. He was tentative in kissing me, letting himself hover over my lips as if I were to crack like porcelain if he were to give him. I gave him a gentle peck on the corner of his mouth as silent reassurance, pressing my forehead against his. 

He understood the message and pressed a long awaited kiss on my lips that made the entire room collapse into nothingness. The warmth that radiated off of Spencer making the interaction more visceral. He lingered in the moment for a few seconds before we parted, staring at me with a woeful look. Although through his somber visage, his love shone through the dark clouds that were present in his eyes. 

“I love you so much Y/N and I-” He paused, sighing in recollection of the events that had unfolded. “I just love you so much- you and my mother- and I’m so sorry I wasn’t there” He apologized, running his thumb over my knuckles as he stared at my bandaged arm. 

“But you’re here now Spencer” I interjected, reminding him to look forward and not back. “Where’s your mom?” I inquired, giving him a soft smile. 

“She’s with her nurse right now” He cringed, his mind not leaving the dark thoughts that enveloped his brain. A slight frown made its way onto my lips as I subconsciously reminded him of the state of his mother. 

“I’m sorry-”

“No, it’s okay Y/N” He reassured. 

Silence ensued before he cupped his hand over my hands, basking in the image of me laying in a hospital bed in front of him. 

“You and-” He paused, collecting his words. 

I encouraged him to continue, squeezing his hand. 

“Y/N. You and my mother are the most important things in the world- no- beyond lifetimes to me” He professed. 

“Spence-” 

“No Y/N- I want to tell you because I don’t know what happens tomorrow. But, all I know is that I love you wholeheartedly and no statistics can explain my exponentially growing love for you” He joked. 

I joined him in his amusement, listening to his words with intent as the atmosphere of the room returned to a more sincere air.

“I love you so much Y/N- and I know that I don’t get to tell you often because I’m always away- but Y/N Y/L/N, you have my whole heart in your hands-” He leaned in, tucking a stray hair away from my rosy cheeks. “-I know you tell me to not worry, but there’s nothing else I can do but worry when it comes to you” He continued. 

“Y/N...you’re my absolute everything and you’ll be damned if you think otherwise” 

-

A/N: 

i hope you enjoy it! i haven’t been writing frequently because i’m preparing for school, but i hope you enjoy it. 

[remmushound]

Bear with me

Tags: @brightlotusmoon @selfindulgenz @digitl-art-monstr @scentedcandlecryptid @ilo-artistry

Comfort was always a top priority in the Hamato household. Prized above all else, Splinter always made sure his sons had everything possible to comfort them through the darkness of their isolated lives. Even when there was nothing else to turn to, no food or warmth, nightmares running rampant, there was always comfort, both in each other and in items silky and dear. Soft pajamas with dinosaurs and trains and butterflies, and heavy comforters where Donatello could indulge his burrowing instinct, and cushioned beds where the family could curl up together and be safe.

Comfort, above all other things, was most important.

Raphael, being the oldest, always went to bed later than his brothers; granted, it was only ten minutes later, but it still made him feel special. A special time just for him and his daddy before the warmth of his dreams embraced him and fed him stories enhanced and beautiful. Who didn't like beautiful? Now was that time. Splinter carried Raphael to his big boy bed in the room he shared with all of his family; Leonardo had a habit of wandering off in the night, Donatello couldn’t sleep without his twin, Raphael often had nightmares, and it wouldn’t be fair to let poor Michelangelo sleep alone! And it made Splinter sleep deeper knowing his sons were all together, around him, where he could protect them always.

“Goodnight, my Raphael.” Splinter laid the biggest son down in the pile of stuffed animals, a small collection Raphael had started to assemble. The snapper had even requested higher sides on his bed so his stuffed animals wouldn’t fall off in the night and be lonely; Splinter had, of course, obliged. Splinter kissed his son, whiskers tickling the turtles head as Raphael giggled and kissed his father back. “Sweet dreams.”

But Raphael couldn’t go to sleep right then! His teddies were still a mess from his nap time and he had to fix them all neat and pretty before he could even think about sleeping! They deserved it! So while Splinter settled into his nest, yawning and nestling into himself for preserved warmth, Raphael began to sort his collection. Pippsy was the biggest and always went by his feet, and Tip and Pip were sisters so they had to stay together. Bunny stayed by his pillow, Taigo and the amigos along the left side, and his boo-boo’s (he couldn’t say beanie-boos, so boo boo was the next best thing) went on the other side, and that just left him and Cheech to cuddle! But… where was Cheech?

At first, Raphael hadn’t noticed his absence, but now the empty space in the center of the bed seemed remarkably empty and lonely. Cheech? Raphael began to paw at the sheets and the blanket, not caring about disturbing his other teddies as he searched for his cuddle buddy. Under the pillow? No. Under the dino blanket? No… the pokemon blanket? He couldn’t find Cheech anywhere! Not on the floor, not in bed!

“Cheee!” Raphael’s cry came a low whine riddled with soft, distraught panic. “Chee Chee…”

“Mmm?” Splinter opened one tired eye. “Red, what is the matter?”

“Can’ find...C...Chee…” Raphael babbled almost incoherently, rubbing at his eyes and trying to dismiss the sleep from them. “Nee Chee…”

Splinter yawned and slowly blinked. “Why don’t you sleep with Pipsy tonight and… and I’ll find Cheech in the morning…?”

Splinter tried to settle back down, but was immediately met with a beanie boo to the face.

“NO! NEED CHEE!”

“Raphael!” The full name carried a sharp authority to it, Splinter’s ears laying back as his teeth snapped an instinctual threat he immediately regretted. His voice became softer quickly. “Red, I am tired. Please. Just go to sleep with Pipsy and I promise I will find Cheech tomorrow.”

Raphael whined, almost yowled, as his cheeks puffed out and his face flushed dark. The soft yowl turned into desperate whines, which turned into loud, piercing crying. Splinter was awake now, and so was Donatello, who immediately began to fuss and sob. Then Leonardo followed suit and Michelangelo woke up, though he didn't cry. He only looked around, concerned and distraught over the outbursts occurring all around him.

There was only one way to stifle the outburst and Splinter knew it. Frustration fueling him, the rat forced himself out of bed and snagged Raphael out of the crib by his arm, leaving the room and the twins to cry out their sorrows. Raphael’s screaming became more intense as his sudden grab, but fell softer once he was put down on the rug.

“Stay. There!” And Splinter stalked off to search for the lost teddy and hopefully salvage what was left of his sleeping time.

Raphael stopped screaming, but the sobs and tears didn't leave him because he was alone and scared and now he was cold too and his arm hurt. He started to rub his shoulder where Splinter had grabbed him, intermittently wiping his eyes as he hiccuped and coughed. He looked around for his brothers, but they were still crying in their cribs. He wished he could comfort them, and them him… but Splinter said to stay…

After five long minutes Raphael found himself unable to stay any longer. Wobbling on unsteady and fat legs, Raphael pushed himself up from the rug and waddled back over to his bedroom. Moving as fast as a toddler turtle could move, Raphael pulled himself onto the side of Donatello and Leonardo’s crib. Leonardo had the softshell cradled in his arms, gently trying to sooth the dramatic wailing of his twin.

“Shh…” Raphael reached a hand down and put it on Donatello’s big head, making the softshell look up. “Nuh cry, Donna. Nuh cry…”

Donatello wiped his eyes, lip still quivering as he stared up at his big brother. Raphael smiled and kept petting his brother, reaching down as far as he could so he and Donatlelo could meet.

“Waphie?”

Raphael gave a curious squeak and lifted his head, looking back down at the floor and at Michelangelo who was now out of his crib; the youngest sibling was always an escape artist. With a guilty look on his face, the littlest brother held the worn and graying Cheech out to his brother.

“Chee!” Raphael jumped down and grabbed Cheech, hugging the precious toy tightly to his chest and burying his face in the soft fur so he could breathe in its scent.

“Ah sorry…” Michelangelo said, dragging his feet on the stone floor. “It smell like you… I like it a lot, Waphie…”

Raphael lifted his head from the toy, and he looked at Michelangelo, then back down at his precious Cheech. A moment of thought was all it took for Raphael to shove the toy back into the confused Michelangelo’s arms, scooping his brother up and bearing Michelangelo over to Raphael’s big boy bed, planting the box turtle inside. Michelangelo blinked, but didn't move, and watched with curiosity as Raphael returned to the twins’ crib. One at a time, he grabbed Donatello and Leonardo from their crib, carrying both of them over to the bed where Michelangelo cheered in delight as they were placed on either side of him. Raphael climbed in last, nuzzling in and settling down with all of his brothers and teddies surrounding him.

***

Splinter came wandering back after a long search proved fruitless, with no sign of Cheech in sight. A moment's panic passed through him when he discovered Raphael’s absence, but panic turned to pure, adorable bliss as he discovered all four of his son curled up in the safety of their biggest brothers presence, teddies and turtles and all. Raphael wasn’t quite asleep yet, though his eyes were heavy and tried to force it upon him. He smiled a sleepy smile when he saw his dad, making slow grabby hands.

“Ah found Chee, daddy…” Raphael said with his heavy eyes, followed by a yawn.

“So you did…” Splinter’s cheeks hurt from the smile, but it was a good hurt. An impulse led him to scoop his sons and their teddies up in his arms and to bear them to his nest, a mess of cushions and blankets assembled for maximum warmth.

It was there that he curled up around his sons, settling down with them all safe against the soft warmth of his belly. A hairless hand went to gently rub Raphael’s arm as the smile faded to a soft frown.

“I’m sorry I hurt your arm, Raphael… is it better now?”

“Is otay…” Raphael closed his eyes and nosed his way into a warm spot just under Splinter’s arm. “Can we sleep now, daddy?”

“Of course, Raphael…” Splinter curled up just a little tighter, just to keep his sons close.

Raphael smiled at the gentle constriction and his face under two big, fat hands. Splinter cuddles were always better than Cheech Cuddles!