#Max has deer ears because they're cute

[freshtomatoesddd]

More deer/bunny marshfield my beloveds

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[beabaseball]

how many cats do you have what are their names what do they look like how many are little bastards???? cats are Too Good

Oh my god anon I hope you're ready for a long fucking post because right now we have 11-12 cats

Everyone but Luci, Fievel, and Junebug (who is our barn cat and who I dont have any pics of atm) are in some way bastard. So 9/12 score.

This is Rosie. She is one of the older cats now and was born in our barn. She's very smart but also unfortunately the current Queen. Reson for bastardry: picks fights to maintain pecking order, thinks that to win playtime you have to attack the hand holding the toy/does not believe in plato's allegory of the cave.

This is Aphid. Shes rosie's sister and recently went deaf, which was very frightening for her for a while but now she's not scared of the vacuum anymore so maybe this was a win. Reason for bastardry: Recently she didn't react at all to me mistaking her nipple for a tick, pulling her nipple, leading me to believe it was a deeply imbeded deer tick, and I became that customer from the "ma'am doesnt your husband have nipples??" vid.

Fievel, named after the mouse that got separated from its family, because we found Fievel a full day after all their siblings. She is very shy and also attracted to ears and will try to eat your hair once she's comfortable with you. Nonbinary cat?? Reason for bastardry: not a bastard.

The twins!!! We've joked about twin cats but these two are actually fucking weird okay. We tried to adopt them out with the other kittens I picked up at the cave but these two were a bonded pair and we couldn't find anyone to take them together.

Upper cat: Luci. Short for Lucifer, because he never figured out how to retract his claws. Ironically, is the only good cat in this house.

Lower cat: Smokey. He is a little bit fluffier than Luci and knows how to pull his claws in. He is also a huge bastard and 0 repentence. Reason for bastardry: pees in containers. Not on the floor!! Just containers. Like the dog bowls. Wants to put his paw on my face.

Susie (with luci in the background). This is Mom's Cat, because previously Susie thought everything in the world but mom was out to murder her, including me, who has known her literally her whole life. It took literal years for her to accept she liked petted. I say this with love: something mentally didnt happen in this cat, and only This Year after not murdering her when she needed to go to the emergency vet did we have a breakthrough. Reason for bastardry: pees on things she wants removed. Unfortunately, it works, reinforcing this behavior.

This is BC. it stands for "black cat", because when we got him we were running out of names. He has so many issues but has recently stopped thinking we are trying to steal his blanket when we try to shift blankets under him. Reason for bastardry: picks fights with literally everyone, for no clear reason. Stinky.

Trying to keep under the tumblr image limit, these four helpfully are cuddling. Right to left

Jane (has orange on her forehead): Fievel and Susie's extroverted sister. She is very cute and appears to know it. Reason for bastardry: a serial killer who admires the Stephen's Island Wren cat.

Max (orange cat): You know that post about how all cats are autistic? this one may in fact be the cat version of autistic. Has so many sensory issues, but has recently agreed to cuddling with humans. Obsessed with bringing socks downstairs. Once they're downstairs he doesnt care anymore. Reason for bastardry: normally is a good boy but suddenly will pee in corners and chase other cats. Sock theif!!!!

Oscar (gray tabby): named after the hot dog. The oldest cat currently. Wishes he was a mom very much but also hates new cats so it's a weird ride bringing kittens home. Probably has a neurological thing but we dont know what it is specifically, only that he Cannot Learn and the other cats tolerate the same behavior from him more than they do from others. Snuggle monster. Reason for bastardry: Steals my food!!!! Destroyed all chances for trainability in this house, because if the other cats see oscar is doing something, they can do it too, right?

Wobble (gray cat) : was picked up with our barn cat June, who was desperately trying to escape Wobble's company. Has probably mild cerebellar hypoplasia. She wobbles when she walks. No sense of personal space. Is the only one who can apparently communicate with Oscar, because they are both on the same wavelength. Nothing is going in behind those eyes but threatening elevator music.

Reason for bastardry: innumerable.