#MaudeAu

[typewritingyip]

Returning to the Right Life

Narnian Preference

A/N: This is a continuation for “A Life Worth Waiting For” with my named reader Maude! Once again thank you to the CairParavelNetwork for having these fun challenges every month!

Warnings: Minor Angst, Fluff, and possible character death? mentions of gore?

Word Count: 4,171

Cair Paravel had not been this quiet in nearly fifteen years, since before the five thrones had the children of Adam and Eve sat upon them. Sliding along the polished floors I go up to General Otmin, trying not to panic.

“General-”

He smiles kindly, fixing the crown on my head since it had fallen askew.

“My queen, you looked panicked, are you alright?”

I take a deep breath, trying to maintain my composure, be like Peter in the situations of worry.

“May we talk a moment in private General?”

Now he frowned, like I already had been, I wasn’t the one that would usually go to the general when something had gone wrong. Only if something horrific had happened.  

“Yes, my queen. This way, please.”  

We had down a hall together where we talk in hushed tones, my own worry breaking through my usual composure to the point where I was on the verge of tears. As much as I liked to seem strong in front of the crowd or even in front of the General, just to seem like the others, I was always the odd one out. No matter what we all made it seem like, they all were the crowns of the four directions and I got what was left. The General set up the search party of over a hundred Narnian soldiers, at which I promptly joined to give them the exact locations of where the other four disappeared. Leaving my crown on my throne, feeling unworthy of it.  

For the next week we scoured through those woods, being gentle and asking the trees to part during the search. Though I was kept away, everyone unsure whether it was the four royals on a new journey or some danger that would take away the children of Adam and Eve. I stayed under the stars every night, too scared to enter the woods or return to Cair Paravel. Yet when the crowns were found, I stood there and stared at the forests as the trees moved back to their places. As their crowns weighed heavily in my arms. Wherever they were, I knew we wouldn’t be able to get to them. My heart sank in my chest, aching as the last trees settled again and the wastes looked the same as it had when they all ran into those trees just days before.

Later that night, when I finally returned to Cair Paravel after several long hours of walking. Still holding the crowns as if they were life lines to the people I cared about so much. It was dark and quiet in the castle; the other residents having retired to their beds for the night. I slowly made my way into the royal treasure room and put each crown in the corresponding chest that belonged to them. I broke down in sobs on the floor, wanting nothing more for them to return home or for me to be with them on this next great adventure they thought was so important.  

The castle was quiet, no one spoke that next morning as preparations for that afternoon were made. I remained in my bedchamber for most of the morning, not touching any of the food brought to me and soaking in a hot bath full of soft flowers, trying to wish away my new found problems. Even after getting decorated in ornate clothes everyone remained silent.  

There wasn’t even the sound of a drawn breath as I walked toward the thrones that afternoon. The sun shining and reflecting through the glass roof, making Cair Paravel sparkle in its beauty. My hands shook while holding several symbols of royalty for Narnia, my own sword resting around my hips as I walked. The ruffle of the skirts and shuffle of shoes were the only noise around the hall other than the occasional sniffle. Slowing to a stop at foot of Peter’s throne, the one in the middle for the High King of Narnia. From behind me someone nudges me forward gently, stepping forward again I stand at the pedestal of that throne, it always seemed bigger from a distance. Turning slowly to face the crowd, straightening my back to look stronger than I felt.  

“My fellow Narnian’s, big and small, I stand before you today not as one of your queens but as your friend. Your friend feeling this intense pain and sorrow that you all do, that we all feel, not only did we lose four of our leaders, our closest friends, but people we all called family.”

My voice breaks slightly on the word family, I had spent the last week searching in the rain, through the trees and mud. Turning over every stone to find them even it didn’t seem to make sense.  

“Whatever they are doing, wherever they went, what may have happened to them, know they are just on their next royal adventure, likely like the one that brought the five of us to all of you those many years ago. In time, they will return for this is their home. Narnia is their land and home as much as it is any of ours. I will stand with you all as I stood with them as an equal, as a member of this family, as a Narnian.”

We had known we were not like them, being the children of Adam and Eve, but that made us no more important or powerful than the people that filled the hall of Cair Paravel. My mouth was very dry, slowly I kneel down for Mr. Tumnus. I knew he was heartbroken but was so thankful he was doing this for not only me but for Narnia. The crown I had worn for the past fifteen years was gently removed from my head. The silver filigree I had grown into was exchanged for a regal gold, engraved with flowers and a lion's head. Mr. Tumnus offers a hand and I take it gently, letting him help me up. Slowly rising, I look out at them all, the Narnian’s I swore to protect and be one of the queens for.  

My new title fell onto my deaf ears, trapped in my own mind as the reality of this whole day began to settle in. In an instant, when everyone began to make noise, I lowered myself to Peter’s throne for the first time ever. The Narnian’s went quiet as for the first time in weeks one of their kings or queens sat on the thrones of Cair Paravel. For a moment ever person in that hall fell silent, the pain and loss washed over us all. Sitting up straight unlike how I would have sat upon my own throne, I clear my throat and gesture in front of me as the High King would, as Peter always had. Slowly groups of them began to get in a line with their questions.  

Sighing slowly, I put on a smile, glancing toward the Beavers as my nerves began to rise. Both of them nodded reassuringly, calming my nerves a faction as I look back to the Narnian’s that stood before me. In that moment, I finally understood how all the others had felt or at least knew I would come to. The stress Peter felt every day, he was the High King and was the one everyone expects to know all. The way Susan would worry of the questions that would be asked and the notes she would take when something she wouldn’t have thought of was brought up by a Narnian. Even Edmund’s cool composure of how he’d speak up when there wouldn’t be a good answer, even if it was the right one. How Lucy would keep all of us collected and working together, to know and understand we served the people along with ourselves as a family.  

Then there was myself, how I had thought I knew the whole picture from top to bottom, studied every aspect of what it meant to be a royal, till now I wasn’t even close and didn’t know if I ever would be. All of those responsibilities now fell upon my shoulders. Bowing my head gently, reaching up to prevent the new crown from tumbling off the first question rang through the hall,

“Your highness, what are your plans for Narnia now that the others are gone?”

It was the question I knew would come but was petrified to face, gulping slightly, steepling my hands,

“I will do what the people need of me, like the five of us always have. Like I will continue to do.”

The crowd seemed to collectively sigh of relief, smiling a bit I gain confidence as the questions flow, answering what I could, giving supplies to people needed them, and sending guards for patrols in areas that the Telmarines seemed to be poking at. Their so-called King seemed to think it was all his land and would often cause trouble in Narnia.  

It wasn’t long after that the Telmarines declared war, not only against the royals of Cair Paravel but Narnia as whole. Changing from the long regal gowns that would be worn in the throne room to the more battle secure dresses that would be worn under armor.  

Too many battles were waged, to many lives lost in the name of Narnia. I felt like a terrible leader, leading my people into slaughter but the Telmarines were horrific when it came to battle. They wanted the Narnian’s extinct because they were unable to understand who and what we are. For years we fought before attempting to come to a peace, signing a treaty upon the battle field for the holiday, all our troops were tired and wanted to be home with their families and out of the cold. They didn’t even wait the day before they attacked. Burning down Cair Paravel as I fled into the night.  

That was the day everything changed, both in my own life and for the entirely of Narnia.  

The return to living life in England was difficult, my mother insisting I stay in the country side, sending money when she could. The war in England was bad but she’d never understand the way one fights in a war, how they watch their friends die on the blades of the enemy. In my short life, which in her eyes had only been eight years, but for me it was twenty-eight years. Even as time went on and the memories I had of Narnia began to fade, some things would always plague my nightmares.  

Being a child with the memories of three wars, things always kept you up at night.  

I studied with the professor after the Pevensies’ left, even when we had to move into a much smaller place, to the cottage in Cottage Grove; the two of us found that entirely to funny. After all I had no other place to go, the past year had been hard on the five of us. My mind was always on Narnia, everything from the first days that which seemed so clear now to my last hours which seemed to fade when I didn’t think about them for more than a few hours.  

No longer feeling like the strong adult Queen of Narnia that fought in the war for the Narnian’s. Not the battle-ready warrior but the mildly out of practice one. It all felt off, wrong in some ways but there would be days that it didn’t feel so strange to be myself.  

When I woke up that morning, it felt like any other day in the country side. The sun poked through the clouds for a moment before it started to drizzle. Starting out in the garden to weed the veggies and water the plants, we might get quite a bit of rain but it never soaked into the garden, the water always running down the hillside off the edge of the property.  

After that I went into the cottage for lessons, being in the sun room while the rain starts to pour down. Practicing maths first since it was what I struggled with the most. Tapping the eraser of my pencil against the table to a rhythm, music playing from the radio in the kitchen mixed with the rain, bringing me to be extreamly distracted. Remembering days upon thrones where the rain would patter against the glass ceiling.

“Have I lost you Maude?”

I jump slightly and look up, breaking the end of my pencil as I turn it to the paper again.

“Sorry sir, the rain...”

He smiles a bit and ruffles my hair gently, already a mess from the wet. He gently closed the textbook that rested upon the table I worked at.

“Let’s take a break, have a snack and get our brains back in order, yes?”  

Nodding, I quickly get up and grab hold of my notebook, rushing out of the sun room. Returning to my bedroom, closing the door firmly and falling to the floor. Opening to a bare page and starting to draw the image stuck within my head, the thing distracting me. Cair Paravel in all its shining glory, the rain falling on the glass ceiling and reflecting upon the marble flooring.

Something felt off, nothing felt right. My thoughts of Narnia would fill my mind often but never like this, never to the point of distracting me. Pushing myself up, going to my window I push it open and stare out, the leaves from the nearby willow tree blowing in the storm. Flying everywhere I felt a tug of something, pushing myself up onto the seat, all I could do was stare as the rain and leaves flew past my face.  

It felt like magic, feeling this painful tug and quickly hopping out the window, thinking I’d land in mud, not sand.  

Falling onto all fours, I got a very unpleasant mouth full of sand. Spluttering and sitting up, it takes my eyes a second to adjust to the sunny coastal area I now found myself in. Looking around, my heart feeling lighter than it had in a year. Smiling brightly, pushing myself to my feet I take off towards the water. Stumbling as I attempt to remove my socks, having not been wearing shoes in the cottage. Pulling off the sweater wrapped around me, dropping it right before hitting the waves. Kicking up the water, spinning in several circles before falling back into the waves to let them sweep over me.  

Happily getting soaked from head to toe, but in that moment, I truly didn’t care. After the longest year of my life, I was finally home. Sitting up and brushing the hair out of my face, looking around in mild confusion. I wasn’t quite sure what part of Narnia I was in, it didn’t look entirely familiar but the oceans were never my favorite place to spend a warm summer day.  

Then in an instant, none of that mattered as four people came running my way, in English school uniforms. Screaming with laughter I start kicking water at them, shoving Edmund into the waves and hugging Lucy tightly. It had been far too long since I’d seen my family, we’d written when we all could but this was different. We were all in Narnia, for the first time in a year and for the first time in six that I’d gotten to see them there.  

Standing in the waves, hugging the others it was such a relief to be here together. Finally, back home together for the first time in such a long time. We continued to splash around in the waves for a while longer, enjoying the warm sun England hadn’t seen in months and the land we hadn’t seen in a year.  

Slowly we all make our way out of the waves and gather our stuff, picking up my socks and slightly damp sweater, laughing happily as Edmund shoves me a bit.  

“Hello.”

I look at him then smile a little shyly, sitting down and pulling on my socks.

“Hello Maude... it’s been a while.”

Laughing a bit, I take his hand when he offers it pulling myself back up from the sand. Looking around, finally speaking my mind.

“Where do you think we are?”

Peter laughs and gestures around,

“Well, where do you think?”

Rolling my eyes, pulling on my sweater,

“I meant where in Narnia, my High King.”

I bow and Lucy quickly follows my lead, both of us bursting into laughter. Edmund looked around, then up the cliff side, frowning.

“She’s right, I don’t remember their being any ruins in Narnia.”

We all look the same general direction as him and stare in shock, what seemed to be large ruins of some cliff side thing were crumbling above us. There was no wait it could be Cair Pravel, this looked like ages of over growth. My mouth felt dry, knowing what I knew it was and knowing there couldn’t be any actual way that was it were very different things.  

Slowly heading down the beach together, I slip my hand into Edmunds. Each in turn adjusting their clothes and pulling on bags, tying sweaters around waists and leaving jackets hanging off branches.  

Heading up an old worn footpath, it felt warm, good to be back in Narnia but bad because the feeling was off now that we were heading up to these ruins. Something just didn’t feel right. Pulling Ed to a stop, I wait for the others to get a little ahead before speaking.

“Edmund, I need to tell you something.”

He frowns a bit and keeps the walking pace slow,

“What’s the matter?”

Sighing, I look at my feet, kicking at a rock,

“There’s so much I have to tell you about our last time in Narnia, after the four of you left through Spare ‘Oom.”

“You’ve been back?”

Shaking my head quickly I sigh and stare at the sky,

“No, of course not. But I haven’t been truthful, I didn’t follow you four back through the wardrobe. I stayed in Narnia for another five years after we all thought you disappeared.”

He quickly pulls his hand away, looking around.

“Do the others know?”

I shake my head again,

“Of course not. You and Lucy would be the first people I tell... and I’ve now told you first.”

He continues to stare, still walking up the hill towards the ruins.

“What happened after we all left?”

He sounded concerned and slightly afraid,  

“Another war... for Narnia and I don’t know how it ended. The night I went through the wardrobe-”

I go to speak but find the memories just after there anymore and shake my head,

“I’m not sure what happened... But whatever it was, I doubt it was good.”

He sighs slowly, brushing his hands through his hair, biting the corner of his lip.

“The others can’t know about this. It would destroy them, for now, we keep this between ourselves till we find the Narnian’s”

He sounded so much like his old self, his older self, being the level headed one what knew doing the right thing wasn’t always the best thing. Nodding slowly, I put my hands into the pockets of my sweater.

Getting to a steeper part of the hill, struggling over the roots and tall grass, apple trees surround us. I quickly use Edmund as a step stool to grab one before continuing up.

“Does anyone still have their sandwiches?”

“Well, I left mine in my bag and I left my bag, in the train station, and then I left the train station in England.”

We all laugh a bit at that, brushing out hands through the grass and leaves around us, just all happy to be back in Narnia.  

Then we came up to the ruins, rather vast, at which we all promptly began to explore.

Walking around and munching on the crisp red apple, I brush my hand over the ancient stone, frowning and feeling sad. Whatever this place had been, it must have been beautiful. Still unable to truly think this could be Cair Paravel. We all spread out to look around, admiring the ruins and the trees among the walls, although it was sad it had become very beautiful in a way. I start up a set of broken stone stairs to get a better view of it all.  

“Wonder who lived here.”

From all our vantage points we glanced towards Lucy, having feelings at the same time. Susan picking up something shiny from the ground, frowning at it before looking around.

“I think we did.”

I glance towards Edmund and head over towards Susan,

“Hey, that’s mine. From my chess set.”

“Which chess set?”

“I didn’t exactly have a solid gold chess set in Finchley, did I?”

Lucy looks around before running off, muttering to herself and I quickly follow. My heart pounding in my chest as we all follow. Coming up to a large stone slab we slow, seeing pedestals on top of it and parts of what had been beautiful stone thrones. Lucy starts to position us in front of the very thrones we had sat in, pointing at broken pieces of architecture.

“Imagine walls. And columns, there. And a glass roof.”

We all stood there, looking at the remains of-

“Cair Paravel...”

My throat felt tight, like this was somehow my fault. Though, in a way it was. Not following my own heart when it came to the war, when it came to the Narnian’s, whatever made me leave, should have made me stay. We all walked away from the thrones and went towards where the old treasury was, if it was still there that’s where all our weapons would be.  

Continuing to examine the damage only further broke our hearts, knowing our home had been taken from us in some way, and it had been a very long time since we had last been in Narnia, even if it had only really been a year.  

“Catapults.”

I glance over, my heart beginning to race again as images flash through my head.

“What?”

“This didn’t just happen, Cair Paravel was attacked.”

I look at them before going to the nearby stone wall and start to clear it up, helping Edmund and Peter push it aside so we could get down to the royal treasury, if it was all still there. Getting down to the wood door, it crumbles and falls when trying to be opened. Peter and Edmund share a moment while trying to make a torch only for Edmund to pull a real torch out of his bag, sharing a weak smile we all head inside and down the stairs.  

“I can’t believe it, it’s all still here.”

Brushing my hand against the wall, it all looked so familiar so much the same, but with crumbling walls and pillars. Hurrying down the steps I go to my own chest and open it, staring inside I tear up and pull out a dress, the one I wore when I'd been recrowned. Shifting many things aside I pull my sword from the back of the chest, smiling softly.  

“I was so tall.”

“Well, you were older than.”

“As opposed to hundreds of years later, when you’re younger.”

We all were trying on or holding things from our adulthood, I very gently slip the golden crown upon my head, it resting slightly askew being a little big now.  

“What is it?”

Lucy was staring at Susan.

“My horn, I must have left it on the saddle the day we went back.”

I pause, thinking hard back to that day and remembering how we very meticulously put everyone’s things down here that first morning, but not remembering Susan’s horn being among the items. I glance at Edmund and he seemed entirely confused by the crown resting upon my brow. I turn and slide it back into the chest, grabbing my sword and setting it aside along with my shield and some old armor from when I was much younger.  

Peter went to his chest and pulled the sword, staring at the engraving, at the spoken words that led us to rule this land and the lands around it.  

“When Aslan bares his teeth, winter meets it’s death.”

“And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again.”

Lucy and I glanced at each other, repeating the words.

“Everyone we knew, Mr. Tumnus and the beavers... their all gone.”

Everyone shares a look before Peter speaks up,

“I think it’s about time we find out what’s going on.”

I look down before stepping forward, looking to Edmund before around.

“But first, I have to tell you the secret I’ve been keeping and please try not to be too mad... I know it was wrong to hide it from all of you so I'm sorry but... I’m sure you’ll understand.”

Taking a deep breath, I start to speak.

[typewritingyip]

A Life Worth Waiting For

Into and Out of the Wardrobe

A/N: This is my first ever Narnia fic, so thank you to @edmundrex​ for posting the #CairParavelNet June Event! (Technically it’s called into the wardrobe but I couldn’t just pick one part)

Warnings: Minor Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 8,063

The platform was crowded with weepy mothers, nervous children, and a great deal of luggage. Mothers arms wrapped around my body, as tiny as I was it felt like being wrapped in a blanket. It wasn’t cold on the platform but I was shaky from the nerves. The ringing made it to where I couldn’t even hear what she was saying to me, her words were silent even as she attached the travel tag to my sweater.

“Alright dear, don’t take this tag off until you get to your platform. They’ll pick you up there and take you to where you’ll be safe.”  

Her hand brushes over my hair, finally looking up at her through slightly swollen eyes my lip quivers as I try not to cry,  

“Mama I don’t want to leave... I- I don’t want you to be alone...”

Her smile was warm as a summer day, one from before the war when we’d spend days in the park. She lightly brushes her thumbs over my cheeks, wiping the tears there away;  

“Darling, I’m never alone. Papa may be gone but I have grandmother with me.”  

Sniffling I wipe my nose with the sleeve of my sweater. She gently turns me around and nudges me towards the train, getting caught between several people while I struggle with my suitcase. One of the ticket readers grabs the tag and pulls the ticket from it while some older kid grabs my arm, pulling me along. My eyes widen from the sudden grip, following this tall boy onto the train. The door closed behind us and my heart sunk, turning to it I tried to see out the window to see my mother as my eyes fill with tears again.  

Before being able to see out the window the trains horn blows and it starts to move and yet again, I’m grabbed by the boy while a conductor checks our tags and heads for a compartment with two children already in it. It was only then that the boy realized I wasn’t his little sister,  

“Who are you?”

Sniffling I move to sit down, hugging my suit case tightly,

“Maude, Maude Crownly.”  

The conductor nods and helps with the luggage before moving on, leaving all of us in awkward silence. I kept my head down, pulling a few sheets of paper from my pocket and a rather mangled pencil to draw on as the train picks up speed,

“Well, I’m Peter. Peter Pevensie... Sorry if I scared you.”

I glance up at him and smile, missing a tooth in the front of my mouth,

“You didn’t scare me that bad,”

He smiled and sat back, looking at his other siblings before looking down. With that the compartment went silent as it traveled for the country side.  

Four hours after the other two children got off the train, the five of us waited in silence for us to arrive at the platform at Coombe Halt, or temporary new home. Curling up in the seat to face the window to see out into the new adventure I’d face, smiling softly as I sketched childish designs onto the paper. Feeling for the first time like one of those heroes in the adventure books father used to read to me once he came home from work. Looking down at the paper I fold it up and return it and the pencil to my pocket, wanting nothing more than to be home or at the very least father to be okay.  

The train would stop and each of us in turn would sit up to check to see if it was our stop, but then it would roll along without a conductor coming to retrieve us. None of us knew just how big England could be or how green anything outside London looked.

It was late in the day when it finally stopped again and out compartment door slid open, I jerked awake from the sound, thinking of the worst things possible before realizing where I was. Peter and his siblings were kind enough to help me from the train with them. It wasn’t a station, hardly more than a platform claiming to be a place that actually existed. Slowing down, they all looked back at the train as it rolled away. Setting down my suitcase was kind of a grunt, I sit on it and look at them,

“Do you know who you’re all staying with?”  

Peter nodded and double checked his tag, frowning as he looked around,  

“Yes, it’s a Professor Kirke... He knew we’d be coming.”  

Nodding, I smile and turn to look towards the road, hoping that they’d arrive soon. Though it was another hour before the horsed wagon appeared from over the nearby hill.

That night I had gotten terrible sleep, sharing a bed with strangers and other children for the first time in my life. Though Lucy and I were becoming fast friends, it wasn’t every day during a war you met someone the same age as you with schools being called off every few weeks for safety. A storm rolled in during the night and kept me awake, too scared to close my eyes.  

When the next day came and we were all stuck inside, it was barley noon when I started to die from boredom. I wanted to explore the amazing house we were all staying in, to read the books with familiar titles like the ones my father would have in his study. The entire house felt like a smaller version of my father's work at the university. It was amazing to feel so lost yet so found in an instant.  

“Peter, can we play hide and seek, please?”

Lucy was pouting and Peter looked mildly exasperated, giving Susan a look,  

“But we’re already having so much fun.”

Susan glares and snaps the book closed, then Peter started to count. Much to the distaste of Edmund. Smiling broadly, I run off, mostly to explore then to actually hide. It was all like the adventure books, just in a giant house rather than in a tumbling forest or open plain field.  

I could hear the Professors radio playing from his office, with the old Orquestra music quietly through the walls and pipes. Running up a set of stairs felt amazing, feeling for the first time in months much like the child I’d been before the war. Trying to duck into something I was rudely shoved out of the way by Edmund, Lucy had been right on his tail,

“I was here first!”

Scoffing, I hurry up another staircase with Lucy passing me, checking from rooms to hide in. Entering one I follow, hoping for a good hiding place only to find her removing a sheet from something massive. Gawking at it I look at her then to the massive wardrobe, we both could still hear Peter counting.  

“This is so cool...”

I brush my fingers over the wood and jump when Lucy opened the door, feeling like a breeze of icy air blew in our faces. I head in first with Lucy following, her backing up to close the door but I faced ahead seeing the strangest thing in the world. Hurrying ahead, tripping on tree branches I fall into the snow and look around in amazement.  

It was a snowy wonderland, something of a great imagination with a lamppost standing in the middle. Not something I’d ever been able to think up on my own. Looking up and back, I could see the light into the Spare Room shining just slightly through the crack of the wardrobe door. Looking at Lucy with a giant grin I stand to follow her, then get absolutely terrified by the creature before us. All three screams ring through the air.  

Lucy and I hide behind the lamppost, trying to look around either side to get a good look at the man standing there. Though it wasn’t quite a man, it was rather strange for his pants were fur but his shoes appeared to be hooves. I look to Lucy and whisper,

“It’s a fawn...”

Slowing walk out from behind the post and moves to pick up the packages, slowing looking him up and down before speaking,

“Were you hiding from me?”

I smiled and moved to help while they talked, looking around in amazement at the snowy surrounding. When it snowed in London it never stayed this white for long, whether the street or the area it would either turn grey or brown, but this was the softest of white powder snow.

“Everything from-from the lamppost, all the way to castle Cair Paravel on the eastern ocean. Every stick and stone you see, every icicle is Narnia.”  

I turn and look around, then look to Lucy,

“It’s an awfully big wardrobe.”

He seemed confused by then then chuckles slightly before speaking up,

“I-I’m sorry, please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tumnus.”

Standing up straight I take Lucy’s hand, smiling at him, letting her speak since she found Narnia first,

“Pleased to meet you Mr. Tumnus! I’m Lucy Pevensie,”

“And I’m Maude Crownly, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

We both stuck out our hands and I pulled my back awkwardly, looking down, usually a rather shy person. He had no clue what to do with her hand, so she showed him how to shake it, though both is us realized we didn’t know why people shook hands.  

“Well then, Lucy Pevensie and Maude Crownly from the shining city of Wardrobe in the wondrous land of Spare ‘Oom. How would it be if you both came and had tea with me?”

My heart swelled and sank, looking back towards where the wardrobe was, he opened his umbrella to prevent any more snow falling onto his head and into the curls of his hair,

“Well thank you very much but I, we probably should be getting back.”

“Yes, but it’s only just around the corner.”  

He made the both of us kind of jump before continuing,

“And there will be a glorious fire with toast and tea and cakes. And, perhaps, we’ll even break into the sardines.”

Lucy glances my way before looking back at Mr. Tumnus,

“I don’t know.”

He shifted his wait and got a slightly sad look on his face,

“Come on. It’s not every day I get to make new friends.”  

She looked at me and I bite the corner of my lip before speaking up,

“I suppose we could come for a little while. If you have sardines...”

The last sentence was slightly sarcastic and Lucy giggled, the fact that sardines were a common thing to have with tea in Narnia was greatly odd.  

“By the bucket load,”

He held up his umbrella for the three of us to fit under before hurrying off towards his place.  

We had spent the day with Mr. Tumnus, enjoying the tea he offered, till it put both of us to sleep along with the enchanted lullaby. It hurt being betrayed by our new found friend, it was jarring. We only then found out about the witch and why the winter was so terrible. Feeling the fear of a witch for the first time, where its real and not just in a book of fairy tales. It was late when we returned to the wardrobe, we stopped outside it and turned to him,

“Will you be alright?”

He laughed nervously then started to cry, clearly scared of what would happen to him. Lucy scrambled and pulled her handkerchief from her pocket, passing it to him so he could dry his eyes,

“I’m sorry, I'm so sorry... Here.”

He tries to give back the handkerchief,

“No, keep it. You need it more than I do.”  

“No matter what happens, I am glad to have met you both. You’ve made me feel warmer than I’ve felt in one hundred years. Now go, go.”

He touches out noses gently but spoke firmly. We glance at each other then back at him before hurrying past the lamppost, heading back into the wardrobe. Lucy fell out and continued through the house at a run to find everyone else. I stood there and backed up to stare at the wardrobe, already wishing to be back in Narnia. I could still hear Peter counting till Lucy yelled, frowning I look around then out the window. Struggling for a second, I pull out my father's old pocket watch and found it to just start ticking again, as if nothing had changed and no time had ever passed.  

Over the next several days, the others pretended like Lucy and I were mad, like Narnia wasn’t real even when we saw it with our very own eyes.  

It was a warm day and the great outdoors supposedly called us to go out and play cricket. I sat in the shade of a large oak tree with Lucy, drawing Mr. Tumnus likeness into the dirt with a stick. Suddenly I hear a loud crash and we all look up, staring at the house before hurrying inside. Within the professor's study Edmund had broken a window and knocked down a suit of armor.

“Well done Ed,”

Peter was clearly stressed about the situation at hand,

“You balled it!”

They nearly started to argue when we all heard Mrs. McCreedy start to storm up the stairs. Looking at all of them I quickly grab hold of Peter’s hand to keep up with them, running to find a place to hide from her. Upstairs, through rooms, down halls, all over the house, trying to find the right place to hide.  

Edmund led us into the spare room and opened the wardrobe,

“Come on!”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

But we could hear the house keeper just outside, still looking for us, so into the wardrobe we ran. I followed close behind Edmund, knowing we’d come out the other side. Everyone shuffles through the coats and deeper in, complaining about the tight space of it all. Till we hit the cold air and fell into the snow. I looked up and around, smiling then turned to Peter and Susan.

We got to see their reaction of Narnia for the first time.

“This is impossible.”

I grinned at her reaction and fell back into the snow; it was freezing but it was amazing.  

“Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s just your imagination.”

“I don’t suppose saying were sorry will quiet cover it.”

“No, it wouldn’t... But that might!”

Lucy throws a snowball at Peter and I quickly join in, laughing as we pelt each other with snow. Laughing at each other it just made us all colder, but it was fun, more fun than any of us had in possibly years. Peter hits Edmund in the arm which nearly causes an argument. Looking around with a big smile on my face I walk over when Peter starts to hand out coats, practically bouncing with excitement for the thought of going on an adventure.  

Even when we were chased by the agents of the witch, dragged down tunnels while avoiding wolves and thinking we were caught by the witch it was jarring but it’s the type of books my father would read. We stayed huddled in a small snow cave Peter having hands over both mine and Lucy’s mouths, petrified of being caught. Then we do scream when Mr. Beaver ducks back down.

“Come on, come on! I hope you’ve all been good, because there's someone here to see you!”

My heart was racing and I crawl out first, wanting to see who was there if it made Mr. Beaver excited. Before us stood a man with a red coat, his hair was as white as the snow and several reindeer pulled his magical sleigh.

“Merry Christmas sir.”

“It certainly is Lucy, since you have arrived.”

Lucy walks towards him with a big smile and I followed, tugging my fur coat closer around me.  

“We thought you were the witch...”

I fidgeted with the sleeves of my coat, embarrassed.  

“Yes, well. In my defense Maude, I’ve been driving one of these longer than the witch.”

Stepping forward, Susan spoke up,

“I thought there was no Christmas in Narnia.”  

“No, not for a long time, but the hope you have brought your majesties, is finally starting to weaken the witches' power. Still I dare say you could do with these.” 

He turns with a laugh and pull the large bag from the back of his sleigh, starting to open it and push aside toys of all kinds.  

“Presents!”

Lucy rushes forward to look inside, excited by the thought of something new. One by one we are all given weapons to use in our battle. Healing juice and a dagger for Lucy, a bow plus a horn to call for help for Susan, a sword and shield for Peter that was beautifully engraved, and a seemingly bottomless bag along with my own smaller sword for myself.  

Father Christmas gave us the strength and hope to continue on, the tools we would need and a boost to our bravery. Putting my father's pocket watch into the bag, I look around at everyone getting comfortable carrying their new weapons before we continue toward the stone table.  

When the ground turned from white to green, we all left our coats hanging on tree branches, I tied my sweater around my waist and ran ahead with Lucy. Both of us giggling and feeling so free. The air was turning warm, filling with voices, more voices then either of us had heard since leaving London.  

Coming up to the camp grounds full of Narnian soldiers we slow and fall back to stand with Susan and Peter, staring at the larger creatures in mild fright. A horn gets blown from the hill, causing me to jump slightly and look around. Quickly getting lost in the surroundings of it all, it felt like a dream, more than any dream I’d actually had.  

The further we walked into the camp, the more I felt at home in Narnia, in those moments I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Coming up to one of the largest tents around, several people had come to follow us in and Peter slows to a stop before pulling his sword lamely,

“We have come to see Aslan,”

He spoke awkwardly and looked around to check her was doing the right thing. Behind us the army took a knee and bowed their heads, my heart started to race and I looked to Peter to see what to do. He lowered his sword and faced the tent, so we all remained standing as Aslan, the great lion came out of his tent then and only then did we go to our knees and bow.

He was the most incredible creature I’d ever seen.  

“Welcome Peter, son of Adam. Welcome Susan, Lucy and Maude, daughters of Eve. And welcome to you Beavers, you have my thanks, but where it the fifth?” 

We then stood and Peter cleared his throat slightly,

“It’s why we're here sir. We need your help.”

I shift awkwardly and glance at Susan,

“We had a little trouble along the way.”

“Our brother has been captured by the white witch.”

Aslan nods his head slightly,

“Captured? How could this happen?”

Mr. Beaver steps forward, folding his paws,

“He betrayed them, your majesty.”  

The army behind us quickly gets into an uproar, turning I look over my shoulder at them all, feeling worried they wouldn’t trust us or help Edmund. Peter looks around before standing up straighter,

“It’s my fault really. I was too hard on him.”

I take Lucy’s hand as we move to stand around Peter,

“We all were... But sir, he’s out family.”

I finally spoke up for the first time and none of them disagreed with me,

“I know young one, but that only makes the betrayal worse. This may be harder than you think.”  

Aslan nodded towards Peter and they walked off together before several women, including Mrs. Beaver escorted Susan, Lucy and I to get changed into clothes better suited for Narnia. Along with getting washed up.  

They were gentle and showed their care before letting the three of us have our space to clean up, giggling like mad women. That was until the wolves came, chasing us into a tree. It felt like for a few minutes the war was miles away, either war was miles away and yet here it was trying to eat us alive. The wolf tried to kill Peter but he got the better of him, which amazed all but Aslan. He knew Peter could do it before we did.  

As the sun began to set, we all were settling in at camp the best we could, waiting for news on Edmund. We all cared and even thought I had little chance to get to know him, there was a connection to this family of strangers and I was coming to really care for them. When he did come back, the past was in the past, in more ways than one and we all showed him we cared for him.

Once we were all fed and rested, training began and even though it was deadly serious I don’t think I have ever had more fun in my life. It was truly a change in fate. Narnia was better than any dream and it’s real. The war was soon though and tensions were high, higher so when the White Witch came for Edmund’s blood. We knew the battle would be soon and that was when I started to get genuinely scared.  

Our tents were quiet that night, the anticipation for tomorrow was building and I was completely unable to sleep. Much like the night I’d left London or the night my father died. Gently opening the bad, I push around the spare supplies inside and pull out the pocket watch, it was quietly ticking away. I could hear the swish of fabric from outside and sit up at the same time as Lucy. She gets up and quickly wakes us Susan. I get up and gather my stuff, pulling on a cloak and following the girls out.

The three of us followed Aslan quietly, sneaking behind him. It was another odd circumstance, being out in the middle of the night felt so normal here but in London it would have been just dangerous. We followed several feet behind and hid behind trees while trying to remain unseen. Aslan stalled and glances back,

“Shouldn’t you three be in bed.”

We kind of looked at each other before stepping forward and closer to him, I messed with the edge of my cloak,

“We couldn’t sleep.”

“Please Aslan, couldn’t we come with you?”

Susan kept her voice down and we all walked up to stand around him,

“I would be glad of the company, for a little while.”

We stood with him, I brushed a hand over his mane, incredible worried about him and why we were out in the night,

“Thank you.”

His voice was rough and he sounded far older than any of could have guessed or even preserved. I wrap my fingers through his fur, holding onto him while we walked.  

The four of us walked for several miles in silence, just listening to the sounds of the night, Narnia was very different then England and the night air smelled of flowers.

“It is time. From here, I must go alone.”

“But Aslan-”

“You have to trust me. For this must be done. Thank you, Susan. Thank you, Lucy. Thank you, Maude. And farewell.”

He turned away from us and continued walking, I looked to Susan and Lucy wanting to know what they planned to do before I followed Aslan myself. He was out friend and wherever he was going, he shouldn’t be alone. Susan rested a hand on Lucy’s shoulder before nodding and hurrying a different direction. Biting my lip, I hurried to follow them, resting a hand on the hilt of my sword so it wouldn’t swing all over the place.  

We came up and crouched behind a fallen tree, to see torches and part of the witch's army surrounding some stone structure. We looked at each other but stayed put, too shocked by the scene to do much of anything. I covered my mouth when they knocked him down, starting to tie him up. This is what the witch was capable of and it was terrifying.  

“Why doesn’t he fight back?”

I looked at Susan then to Lucy, thinking about something I’d been told by my father, ‘A real leader, when he sees mistakes being made will talk to the mistake maker, not punish them but lift them up so they learn.’ I looked back towards where bound him.

It went silent for a moment before they started to band their weapons on the ground, I was shaking from both fear and anger. They were going to hurt him and there was nothing we could do.  

“Tonight, the deep magic will be appeased! But tomorrow, we will take Narnia forever!”

We couldn’t hear what she said after that, my heart was racing till she shouted again,

“Die!”

It was like my whole world stopped, like all of Narnia held its breath as the great lion died. Tears fell down my face and I kept my hand over my mouth, preventing my own screams. Turning slightly, we all fell and held onto one another desperately. Sobbing into our fallen embrace.  

We held onto each other until the witch and her troops were gone, then we made our way to Aslan, resting as if asleep on the stone table. We sat with him, wanting nothing more for him to wake up when we drifted to sleep on him, protecting his remains.

I woke up when the sun began to rise, brushing my fingers over Aslan with his shaved fur. It brought more tears to my eyes, though I hadn’t known Aslan long he had become a dear friend. Susan sits up and looks around, rubbing her eyes before gently shaking awake Lucy.

“We should go.”

She stepped down from the stone table and went to help Lucy, I jumped down with them shivering from the breeze.

“It’s so cold.”

Lucy and I spoke nearly at the same time, I wrapped my cloak around myself, trying to feel the warmth of spring that had just existed yesterday.  Walking down the steps and away from this place, we all glances back before continuing forward. Then the ground shook and cracked, I fell to my knees.  

“Susan!”

I turned to Lucy and followed where she looked before standing, gawking at the broken and empty stone table.  

“Where’s Aslan?”

“What have they done?”

I brushed my fingers along the broken edge of the table, my heart aching before the sun shined in my eyes, blinking I looked toward it and my breath was taken away.  

“Aslan!”

We all ran towards him, the past hours of heart ache washing away, the warmth of spring returning, the fear of a life without Aslan vanishing. I held onto his fur, listening to him but just so thankful he was alive.  

“Climb on my back, we have far to go and little time to get there. You all may want to cover your ears.”

Lucy and I grinned at each other before climbing on behind Susan, then I covered my ears as Aslan roared his mighty roar. While a battle waged in a far-off field, we saved those who'd been turned to stone by the witch. Even helping in the battle, with Aslan on our side it was like they surrendered. Though our hearts stopped again when Edmund was wounded, my bag of holding had no healing properties but Lucy had that within the bottle at her waist. 

Our family of five saved Narnia that day and our army traveled east, to the shining castle of the five thrones. Cair Paravel on the eastern ocean.  

The halls shine and the thrones glittered, the say we were crowned was one of beauty, all of us dressed in the finest of clothes Narnia could offer. This castle was our home, a place built for us, and we didn’t know for so long. We walked with Aslan up to the thrones the first time, seeing a beautiful future ahead of us. Peter went to the middle throne, with Susan on his right and Edmund on his left, Lucy was on the other side of Susan and I was on the other side of Edmund.

“To the glittering eastern sea, I give you Queen Lucy, the Valiant.”

My heart was racing, it felt so unreal and perfect, Mr. Tumnus rested Lucy’s crown upon her head.  

“To the vast central fields, I give you Queen Maude, the Thoughtful.”

Looking to Lucy, I was smiling before facing front again as Mr. Tumnus brought me my own crown to wear, I smile at him, having gaps in my teeth from where I’d lost them previously.

“To the great western wood, King Edmund, the Just... To the radiant southern sun, Queen Susan, the Gentle... And to the clear northern sky! I give you High King Peter, the magnificent.”

We all took a step back and sat on our thrones, hearts racing and smiles bright.

“Once a King or Queen of Narnia, always a King or Queen. May your wisdom grace us until the stars rain down from the heavens.”  

Then the celebration started and Aslan left us, not for forever, but he was no tame lion. There was music and dancing, Edmund and I danced for quite a while, laughing and loving Narnia. The celebrations lasted for several days then came the time to actually rule and learn what that meant, but we were all ready for the challenge.  

Most of that first spring and summer, we didn’t spend within the castle walls or even with each other. Away learning of the places in Narnia we were to all rule over, firstly the ones we were crowned for then to learn of the others to a lesser extent.  

The vast central fields had once been covered in snow, with no one living there and now, farms were returning and people moves back to the homes of their ancestors. I learned how to tend plants and prep ground, spending that first spring and summer barefoot in the fields with Narnians and learning of my place in this world. Just as the others did, Lucy was upon ships learning to sail and fish, Edmund was in the woods learning to hunt and trade, Susan was in the south with larger villages learning the way their traditions held, and Peter spent his time in the north learning the ways of battle, how to be a predator instead of pray.  

We saw each other nearly every week non the less, growing together and learning so much, and when fall came around we all returned to Cair Paravel and if anything, the time apart brought us closer together. The fall was cooler than the spring and people began to get scared, we did a little but we knew the witch was gone and that seasons were a normal and regular thing.  

It was mid fall and I was practicing my sword work with Edmund down in one of the courtyards, Lucy sat on an old stump watching us work when it started to hail. At first none of us noticed it, to focused on our own activities. The ground started to turn white and it began to get cold, I looked to Edmund and my heart began racing. I could see the fear in his eyes, sliding my sword into its sheath before grabbing his hand and then Lucy’s pulling them inside.

“Peter! Susan!”

My call was more of a shriek, both Edmund and Lucy were stiff even as I dragged them further into the castle, trying to remember where the common room was, hoping that there would be a fire in there. I could hear running footsteps but my nerves were already on edge so I shove the other two behind me and draw my sword again, on Peter. He lifted his arms up in the air.

“Easy their soldier, what's the matter?”

Lowering it slowly, my hands were shaking.

“Peter, I... it started snowing.”

His eyes widen and he nodded, taking Lucy’s hand when she hurried to him.

“It’s going to be alright. Just a small storm. It’s winter then spring, it won’t last forever. When Aslan shakes his mane, there will be spring again. Well that already happened so there will be another spring.”

We might be kings and queens, but we were all still children. The winter we’d walked into left each of us scared in more ways than one. Peter led us to the common room and stoked the fire, making it far warmer than it needed to be but we could see the hail through the windows still. I sat on one of the many cushions and stared out the window at the hail before getting back up.  

Lucy and Edmund sat by the fire, both kind of shivering. It was the first time we’d experienced cold since the White Witch was alive, we all assumed it would be bad. Looking at them I follow Peter out of the room, knowing he’d need help, knowing the Narnian’s would react just as badly or worse. Catching up quickly I take his hand and look up at him.

“To the first fall.”

He nods and squeezes my hand gently.

“To the first fall... You doing alright Maude?”

Smiling was a slight struggle, but I shrug.

“I’ll be alright. We have things to take care of anyways.”

He frowned and brushed his hand over my hair.

“You’re just as young as Lucy, yet you act like an adult... You should be in there with them.”

Smiling shyly, I kick at the skirt of my dress.

“I can sit on a throne and pretend to be warm. Back... somewhere I... I used to pretend to be warm.”

He nods slowly and stops me, turning me back around.

“Well go enjoy the warmth and comfort of the common room. Susan and I can handle the politics for a while.”

He took off my crown for a second, ruffling my hair before putting it back on my head. I smiled at him and walked back to the common room, feeling a bit sad by his reaction to me.

Returning to the room it was a livelier then when I left it, Mr. Tumnus taking up residents inside to join the warmth. Music was playing quietly and Lucy was back to her happy self, though Edmund still was staring out the window.

That winter was colder than any day in the last hundred years, blizzards were horrific and the only ones leaving Cair Paravel was Peter and Susan. Most of the that winter the three of us sat on our thrones and dealt with the politics that could come through the snow to the castle. Most nights we slept in the common room, dragging the feather beds from our rooms to sleep near the warmest fire.  

Then we had spring again, when the snow melted away, the Narnians celebrated like we had won the war all over again, naming the celebration after us. A celebration of spring that would happen every year after. Anything before our lives in Narnia faded to void, feeling as if it were nothing more than a dream. My father’s pocket watch remained in the bottom of my bag for years.

When Mr. Tumnus told us of the white stags return to Narnia and what it could it, it wasn’t a question of if we’d go on the hunt, more so when we would go on the hunt. I spent time laughing with Lucy while we packed simple things of food and supplies for the trip. Brushing a hand through my hair I sighed heavily, my thoughts elsewhere for a moment.  

“Maude, are you alright?”

It was Edmund who asked, having come up to put his bag on Phillip. I turned to him, smiling slightly shyly before nodding.

“Yes, quite alright just thinking of what we would wish for is all.”

That wasn’t what I was thinking about of course, but Edmund didn’t need to know what I was thinking.  

“I think we’re all thinking that.”

He grins before being shoved by Peter as he came out to the stables with Susan. I laugh before climbing onto my own horse, Lillian. She was a beauty but no longer was one who liked my risky habits in battle.  

“Are we going to stand around all day or go find this stag?”

With a shout of agreement, the others all climbed onto their horses and ran off ahead of Lillian and me. The wind blew through my hair as the horses' hurries through the woods, my braids catching in my crown.

The five of us were laughing like loons, loving the feeling of late summer early fall. We road for an hour before the white stag was spotted, it kept bouncing in and out of view. I was taking up the back of the line as usual, being the youngest among five royals didn’t often have its perks.  

Lillian slowed and I pulled on the reins to make her stop, seeing her shortness of breath I slid off her back in a fluid motion. Patting her side, I smile brightly.

“Take a rest Lillian, I can run for a while. Catch up when you can.”

She bowed her head gravely.

“Thank you, your highness.”

Nodding firmly, I run ahead to try and catch up with the others. Soon being able to hear their voice I pick up the pace before nearly running smack into Edmund and Phillip.

“Have you all caught the stag without me?”

My smile was one of mischiefs' sarcasm but looking at all their faces it told me something was likely wrong. A lamppost stood in the area all alone.

“Spare ‘Oom.”

Lucy’s voice was quiet but the name rang a bell to me, as if from a dream. Then Lucy took off into the dense forest.

“Oh, not again!”

Peter shouted before the other three followed. Scowling I move to go around the dense trees to catch them all on the other side, starting to grin once I reached the other side. Waiting. I waited for several minutes before heading in and coming out the other side in a different spot then I had thought, looking around quickly I turn to Phillip.

“Did they come out?”

All the horses shook their heads and my heart dropped, I hurry to Phillip and climb onto his back, grabbing the reins and turning him roughly.  

“Back to Cair Paravel, we need to send out a search party. Who knows where they disappeared to in there...”

He took off as fast as he could manage, I clung desperately to the reins, my heart racing. I glance back at the lamppost till it was no longer visible through the trees. The winds whipped through my hair violently, the pit in my stomach became bottomless. Riding through the gates I got off quickly and ran for the doors, lifting my skirts to get there faster. It was already quieter in Cair Paravel, as if somehow the building knew it needed to be in hushed tones.

I found out search party quickly and they searched that area for hours, only coming out when they found four crowns. I stood before them, the only one wearing a crown among a land of thousands, for the first time in my life I didn’t know what to do.

Within the first year of the four royals going missing, Telmarnies declared war on Narnia and her allies. Although I had grown up in Narnia, I grew more in the next five years than I had when the other four remained. Narnia needed their High King, so that was what I became not by title but, someone who tried to rule like Peter had, yet I was not Peter. I went from being Queen Maude, the Thoughtful to Queen Maude, the Fierce.  

I didn’t think the name suited me, but it stuck soon after the first few battles on Narnian soil began. For five years, I ruled and controlled an army, one that was being slaughtered daily and yet would still choose to fight for someone so unskilled. I tried so hard to be the others, to know how the five of us worked together and make that into one person and I thought I succeeded.

We signed a treaty, giving both armies peace for the holiday, trying to negotiate what they wanted with Narnia. Time to recuperate and see what assets we had. I sat in my throne most of that day, trying to figure out what to do. Our armies were hungry and tired, there was no sign of true peace on the horizon and if we surrendered then everything any Narnian stood for would be lost.  

It was late and I brought my things down to the treasury, putting my sword and bag within my chest. Looking around my heart ached at the faces that looked towards mw, if only they knew I was trying my best.

Returning to my room, I fell into a deep sleep.  

Awakened in the middle of the night by the castle shaking, shouts and screams were I the air as Cair Paravel was attacked.  

“Your Highness!”

A fawn girl came running in and grabbed my arms, pulling me from my bed and pushing me towards the door.

“You must hide your highness, run and hide!”

I pull away from her grip and rest my hands on her shoulders, trying to calm her down.

“Why? I have a duty to protect Cair Paravel!”

She shook her head and began to push me again.

“They are after your life, they called for you and want your head on a pike!”

I grit my teeth, my anger beginning to boil, I went to reach for where my sword would typically rest at my waist only to remember I had foolishly left it in the treasury.

“They’ve already invaded the lower levels! You must go!”

“I cannot-”

“They don’t want just your head! Their monsters in men's clothing, please your highness, for the future of Narnia you must go.”

Nodding slowly, I head down the stairs, hearing my soldiers fight down in the throne room. I ran into the people I cared for most as they were both trying to fight and flee; Mr. Tumnus and the Beavers wished the same for me as the fawn girl did. Dressed in merely a night gown, taking a small bag of food from Mrs. Beaver, I fled. The head of my guard waited with Astrid, our fasted horse.  

“Go your Majesty. Astrid will bring you someplace safe and hopefully return with you in the morning.”

I nodded and climbed on, giving the familiar centaur a hug.

“Till morning then.”

Gripping the reins Astrid took off through the side gates, running out into the trees. We were barely out of the gate when the Telmarine army was upon us. Arrows were shot at Astrid and I, horrible words shouted, and large dogs barked. I leaned down to give Astrid more speed, trying to avoid the flying arrows. Looking back, I could see Cair Paravel was under siege and many parts ablaze, including the tower I had called home. An arrow lands in my shoulder, making me shout and I fall off Astrid, thankful for the darkness as the Telmarine continue to follow her instead of noticing me.  

Once they were past, I stand and pull the arrow from my shoulder, pressing a hand to it as I cursed all Telmarine especially their King Caspian. Continuing inland, my shoulder bled through the white gown. Pain wracked my body and I longed for my bag of holding, full of bandages along with other medical supplies.  

Silent asking for a sign of a way to fix this I kept walking, coming into a ring of light, then nearly smack into the lamppost.  

Turning quickly to face that patch of woods my heart sank and I looked around.

“Are you telling me to leave? Or will I find the others in there?”

There was nothing but silence. I face those woods and sigh, then turn to try and see Cair Paravel. All I could see through the trees was the light from the fire, my heart sank.

“Spare ‘Oom it is then...”

I turn back to the dense patch of woods and head in. It turned from trees to fur, then I ran into people all complaining before five of us toppled out of the wardrobe.  

Memories quickly flood back, feeling more recent then the last twenty years I had lived in Narnia. Looking around quickly I smiled at Edmund, all of us smiling at each other before the door opened and the Professor walked in.

“What were you all doing in the wardrobe?”

Peter looked around at all of us before looking back to the professor.  

“You wouldn’t believe us if we told you sir.”

He tossed the cricket ball back to Peter, the one that had broken the stained glass all that time ago, smiling and crouching down some.

“Try me.”

Quickly everyone breaks out into the tale of our life in Narnia, I kept my mouth shut only thinking about how Narnia would be taken over if we couldn’t get back soon. Wrapping Edmund in a hug I watch Peter and Lucy explain it all, the fifteen years we had lived there.  

It shocked me to understand they thought I’d followed them into Spare ‘Oom, the five years I had lived without them completely unknown to them. The story lasted well into the night, till we all got tired and were helped to bed.  

I didn’t even lay in bed for more than twenty minutes before I snuck down to the wardrobe with Lucy, trying to get back into Narnia.

“I don’t think you’ll get back in that way.”

I turn quickly with Lucy, facing the Professors who was sat in a chair in the corner of the room. Not a word even had to pass our lips before he answered the silent question.

“Well you see, I’ve already tried.”

“Will we ever go back?”

My voice was quiet and full of pain.  

“Well I expect so, it will probably happen when you’re not looking for it.”

He offers each of us his hands, so we take them and start to head out of the room.

“I’ll say, it’s best to keep your eyes open.”

We left the spare room. The only sounds other than our footsteps was my fathers pocket watching ticking, making noice for the first time in a long time. 

He helped us back to bed, then went to bed himself. Neither of us could sleep, nor could Susan so we went to the boy's room where they had already dragged the mattresses off the beds to the floor, trying to get some rest. The three of us joined the two of them and were able to get some sleep, like the winter nights in the common room when rain would pelt the windows.

We spoke of Narnia often those first few days, going outside and practicing with the professor's swords and armor, much to the distaste of Mrs. McCreedy. Soon enough though the memories of England grew stronger than the ones of Narnia, though none of us forgot. Feeling older than we were but young enough to still play.  

Within months the Pevensies’ went back to London, I stayed with the professor while my mother was away in the war as a nurse, having completed her training soon before my grandmother passed. I studied and learned with the professor, we talked of Narnia often and only he knew that Cair Paravel had fallen.  

The world of Narnia was mysterious and glorious, when they all saw and all believed, when we lived their we brought peace to the land.