#Matthias is still in the Hellgate but he will live after this bc I don't like him dead

[catdoingblep]

Ok, I do not make tumblr posts, but I have this crossover stuck in my brain (and I am having a hyperfixation on the Shadow and Bones rn), so...

Shadow and Bones (TV) x Sandman (TV) crossover, Hob canonically was involved in the slave trade.

Hob Gadling, the new owner of New Inn (a small Inn on the edge of Barel) and your local saint (yes, he is known as Sankta Robert, and he hates this) and fellow Ketterdam immortal in his six hundreds, is trying to live his life in the Ketterdam right after his Stranger missed their meeting.

He was away for a few years after planned meeting (you know, all this “die and return as your nephew from Novyi Zem” things) and just returned to the city when Fold was destroyed. He doesn't want to interact with any of Barel’s gangs, because it is hard to hide your immortality when someone shoots you in the middle of the street (it happened before. Twice, actually).

He still tries to know all the local rumours, so he knows about Crows, and now his Inn is apparently the Dregs’ territory.

Meanwhile, Kaz is planning how to destroy Jan Van Eck and heard a rumour about the devil in the basement.

So, whatever it is, Jan Van Eck is very interested in it and spends a huge amount of money every month to cover the costs of Burgess. And the guards of the basement are so well-payed that no one can buy them. Wylan barely knows anything about it, he only knows that once his father said him that Burgess promised his father to guarantee that his next child will not be an embarrassment (in exchange for the favour that is taking away the Dream bc Alex wants to get rid of the ball). 

(Roderic Burgess was not a grisha himself, but Randall Burgess was a grisha and Burgess was already making a lot of plans for how he will monetize his grisha abilities and how he will use Randall in his barely legal plans before he died in the Fold and Roderick was stuck with useless otkazat'sya second son)

Crows think that maybe this is imprisoned healer because older Burgess was too old to be alive.  

(Alex considered himself “forced through circumstances” after his father died bc he was too afraid of both Dream and Van Eck telling everybody that is in the basement)

So Crows start some shenanigans to break into the basement, and Burgess or Van Eck heard about it and hires some killers to take them down. One of the killers? Corinthian.

Corinthian caught one of the Crows (Nina who cannot take him down because he was made from the dreamstuff?) in the side street, but Hob is passing by. And he doesn't want some kid to be killed on his watch. 

Hob attacked Corinthian and killed him (obviously temporally) but got stabbed in the process. In his heart. With a knife. So Nina tried to save him, but once she took out the knife, Hob comes to life.

And this makes Hob involved in all the things that he tried to avoid because he didn't want to simulate his death too soon (and these children already saw that he is immortal), and Crows offered him to “forget” about his secret. Price? Help to steal whatever it is in the basement. 

After this someone (Inej who will have very mixed feelings about Hob being a saint? like they already met some saints but no one was a slave trader in the past) understood who Hob is.

All this Sankta Robert stuff that Hob hates. He is not only a saint because he just died and was resurrected with too many witnesses, but he also did this during the period when he tried to destroy his own slavery business after his Stranger’s advice. So years after he was known as a patron of the slaves and the ones who were illegally detained.

The eternal reminder of his own mistakes. He is not a saint, ok? Just an immortal man who made a huge mistake and tried to do something right when he understood what a crime he did.

(And in that life, he was going with his real name for some time, so he cannot use Robert Gadling anymore because everyone knows his name as the name of the saint)

Idk what will be next but it all ended up as Hob saved Dream from the fishball and they got together trope, yes. Same story but with some extra Crows flavour.

(And after the rescue of the Dream he is very amused with the fact that mortals call Hob Sankta Robert. Like previously, he never paid attention to the life of Hob between their meetings, only to the Hob’s stories on the meetings, and Hob did not mention this so he didn’t know).

Hob also somehow "adopt" the Crows because they are just a bunch of youngsters for him. Like they're in their twenties, they are totally kids for Hob. Have they already saved the world? Not changing his opinion, they are kids! Kaz is trying to resist this but unsuccessfully (he is not so unhappy with this as he shows).

[whoslaurapalmer]

shadow and bone s2, ep 6-7

in which lulu goes off just a little because boyyyyyyy howdy y'all really fucked something up. you had to WORK to fuck this specific thing up. like, consciously. that was a CHOICE to make here and it was a BAD ONE. if they clear it up in ep8 then my sincerest apologies but like. i don't think it's likely

-if i knew star wars at all i would try and make a darth vader joke about the hand but the joke ain't coming. my apologies

-i think baghra's death was alright, idk. it was fine. her giving the backstory was more satisfying honestly

-good for ohval, vibing

-destroying the first army at keramzin did not at all have the punch of killing ana kuya. and there's such a focus on the orphanage but it's like. never really. REALLY talked out

-alina going 'i was blinded by power' WERE YOU????? BECAUSE THERE WAS VERY LITTLE IF ANY ACTUAL EMPHASIS ON THAT IN HERE.

-matthias and pekka rollins talking in hellgate is. shit. it's terrible. it's. i hate it fuck you wow -matthias has NO connection to him. and by creating it, and by putting pekka in a spot where he can still be a problem, after you've ALREADY USED kaz's maximum killing blow, is just. like. absolutely disgusting -that was supposed to be the END of pekka. by KAZ, AND KAZ ALONE, BECAUSE OF WHAT IT MEANS FOR KAZ. -but putting pekka in prison -- putting him in a place here he can recover his power -- putting him in front of matthias as a threat but also a possibility -- it's. i hate it. it makes no sense. it doesn't need to be here. it cuts an enormous hole into everything you already did, everything in the books not yet covered, into KAZ -they're not clearing this up in another episode. they're gonna have to deal with it. i am going to scream. i'm going to kill a man. who thought this was okay. THIS IS NOT OKAY -GODDDDDD I'M SO ANGRY -THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR KILLING HELEEN!!!!!!! YOU JUST FUCKED UP A WHOLE SERIES OF PLOT THREADS BY GODDDDDDDDDD -THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON PEKKA IS IN HELLGATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -i'm just. how can you fuck up this badly. you just. ruined so fucking much. i'm. flabbergasted at the audacity of it all -just!!!!! THERE'S NO COMING BACK FROM THIS. FROM ALREADY HAVING USED THE ENDING OF CROOKED KINGDOM BUT STILL KEEPING PEKKA AROUND. -WHAT THE ACTUAL LITERAL FUCK. -and like. without heleen, how do they get into the ice court? will that even still happen???? how can inej get any revenge on heleen in any way if HELEEN IS DEAD??????????? -heleen lives because people like that live and get away with it. because they can't just be taken care of so easily. because, like inej says to pekka at the end of crooked kingdom, DEATH IS A GIFT YOU HAVEN'T YET EARNED. inej gets to steal her diamond, the representation of lives likes hers that were stolen and sold and ruined, and heleen might lose the menagerie at the end of crooked kingdom, and inej gets to try and protect other girls from the same fate. it's not enough at all but it's something. and pekka is mentally destroyed by what kaz does. it's not enough but it's something. those things mattered. -but they don't matter at ALL here. not in any single way

-david going 'sooooooo what body part do you wanna lose' and picking up a bone saw. david :) -david :( -i think............i like his death better here, actually. i hated his death in rule of wolves bc he's the only main cast casualty and yes horrors of war and sudden death but it was just so. irritating. it's senseless. it's the point that it's senseless, but it's senseless in a way in the book that was just like, fucking for real???????? david, of all people????? and he's the ONLY ONE WHO DIES?????????????????? -here, protecting genya, it makes more sense, i think, and i'm actually not as mad about them killing him now as i thought i would be knowing the spoiler, honestly. i was going around the last two days before watching ep7 absolutely INCENSED about them killing him NOW instead of so much later but watching it. i'm kind of okay with it. -it's still kind of eh though a little bc where on earth does this fucking dumbwaiter just come from. does it make SENSE to lose david here. what does it do to genya's character now, to have it happen now -but i think the spirit of it. is perhaps better than in the books, which is what i'm getting at, idk

-speaking of horrors of war, yeah i figured nikolai's friend was gonna die

-JESPER!!!! USING HIS BUTTONS!!!!!! AS BULLETS!!!!!!!!! GODDAMN -INSPIRED -A TAKE -I LOVED IT -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -it was his buttons, right. unless he had like darts or something. well buttons was what it looked like to me and i'm standing by that

-goodbye fruszi you terrible little emo girl. her getting her fingers cut off was GREAT, GODDAMN

-the crows swooping in to save the day AGAIN is honestly. the funniest fucking thing. it just is. it's so good. it's so funny. kaz actually gets to show his sense of humor. it makes NO SENSE for them to just COME IN and yet HERE THEY ARE and it's genuinely. great, somehow -they get the sword for alina and she just goes 'nope! inej you use it. :)' like. oh my god.

-mal: i'm hit -me: ??????? WHEN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN????? JESUS CHRIST FINE