#Matthew gray Gubler x you

[reidsdimples]

When Everything Changed | Part 2

Part 1

Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

Enemies to lovers- Angst 🖤

Inspired by Wires by Athlete

Tw: hospitals, injury, Spencer near death

Your feud with Spencer feels trivial after you’re both shot

The first time you wake, you’re in a panic. The ceiling of the trauma unit is speeding by in a blur while people around you push the stretcher. There’s an immense amount of pressure and pain in your shoulder which is probably why you’re screaming. It’s also probably why every nerve in your body feels like it’s on fire.

“They’re FBI agents! Get them in here now,” somebody screams.

You black out again and come to as you’re being moved onto a table. The room sways as you crash harshly into the metal surface.

“Spencer…” you murmur as one of the surgeons places a mask over your face. All goes black with shouts and medical equipment blaring in your ears.

-

The room comes into view in a blur. You try to glance around but the figure standing over you is indistinguishable.

Finally your brain catches up to your eyes and you see JJ and Rossi at your bedside.

“What happ…” your voice gives out.

“You were shot in the shoulder. It was a flesh wound, they got the bullet out,” Rossi says and places his hand on yours.

You allow Rossi’s father-like comfort to wash over you before panic seized you once more. The room stirs and your stomach drops as the reality of the situation kicks in.

You wince and lay your head back, it feels like someone placed a led weight in your shoulder. Then it comes back to you.

“Reid, what happened to Reid?” You gasp.

“He’s still in surgery,” JJ answers. Her tone tells you it’s bad.

“How long?”

“You’ve been here about 4 hours, Spencer’s been in surgery for 3,” Rossi informs you.

“Is he…” tears well in your eyes. He took a bullet for you. Both bullets should have hit you. Why would he do that?

“He’s in critical condition,” Rossi’s voice is filled with sorrow. The words are a blow to your abdomen, drawing all of the oxygen from your lungs.

“No,” you whisper and try to sit up. Guilt creeps its way in and claws its way down your spine.

“It’s not your fault, Y/N,” JJ reassures you. You shake your head.

The doctor enters and begins checking you out and encouraging you to rest. You argue that you can’t rest until you know your coworker is okay.

While the gesture was nice, whatever pain medicine he pushes into your IV sends you back into darkness before you can stop it.

-

The next time you wake, you feel more normal. As though waking up from regular sleep instead of from passing out in shock.

Sunlight filters through the massive glass windows which overlook the city. Your concept of time is non existent but at least you only have one IV in you now instead of three.

“You’re awake,” Garcia smiles and stands. Her usual bouncy optimism is missing in her words. She looks exhausted.

“Did he…” you don’t even know what to ask.

“He’s out of surgery. He’s critical but stabilized,” she answers in a hushed tone.

“I’m so sorry,” your voice cracks.

“Why are you apologizing? You were shit too,” she softens her voice and pushes your hair back from your face,

“That bullet should have hit me, I don’t know why he got in the way,” you sniffle.

“That bullet might have struck you in the head,” she raises her eyebrows like you’re being ridiculous. She was right though, your head is right at the same height as his neck.

“He couldn’t have known that,” you reason.

“No but he instinctively would have protected anybody on this team. He didn’t have to think about it,” she tries not to cry.

“I know,” you nod.

Just then Hotch and Prentiss enter the room, smiling to see you awake.

“Hey,” Prentiss hugs you gently.

“What are the doctors saying?” You ask anyone out loud.

“They’re hopeful you’ll only need to be monitored for another 24 hours,” Hotch informs.

“I meant about Reid,” you say.

“The bullet entered the front of his neck and lodged into his trachea. It was touch and go for a while but they were able to remove the bullet and reconstruct the damaged airway,” Hotch starts.

“He went into respiratory distress this morning and had to get intubated. He’s on a ventilator now. That’s why he’s still critical. He’s not breathing fully on his own and they’re trying to drain the blood and fluid from his lungs,” Garcia adds.

“I…” you lip quivers and tears start to fall. You’re horrified for him. “He must be so scared,” you whisper.

“He’s sedated, he doesn’t know what’s happening,” Prentiss says softly.

Of course he’s sedated, he wouldn’t be awake and intubated.

You’re about to say something when one of the ICU’s alarms begins to blare.

“Code blue, room 3489,” you startle and sit up as the three of them rush out of the room. Nurses and doctors take off down the hall.

“Wait!” You cry.

Code blue- someone is in respiratory or cardiac arrest. You want nothing more than to get out of the damned bed but you’re hooked up to an IV and an alarm.

Garcia nods and throws her hand over her mouth before darting back to you.

“It’s not him, it’s not Reid,” she huffs a relieved crying sort of laugh and hugs you.

You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t deal with losing someone on the team. It would destroy you.

You couldn’t imagine going to work and not competing with him to be the smartest in the room. It was annoying but god right now you missed it. You even missed his dad’s and his attitude and snarky remarks. You were so mad at him for taking that step in front of you. Yet you just wanted to be there at his bedside like the rest of the team.

“I want to see him,” you tell her.

“You will. You just have to focus on getting your strength back first,” she says. Garcia had a way of saying things that was so comforting.

The rest of that day was spent sleeping and getting a play by play of Reid’s progress.

-

The following morning you were up on your feet and able to walk around perfectly fine. Your arm was in a sling to prevent excess movement on your shoulder but for the most part you felt fine.

You were eager to go see Reid, though you weren’t sure why. The team had warned you that it wouldn’t be easy to see him hooked up to the breathing tube and other wires. You should be reluctant. But you just needed to show yourself that at the very least, he was still alive.

Stepping into his room was jarring and you froze in the doorway. His entire body was limp, his head flopped to the side, and his hair pulled from his face with a rubber band. He looked everything and nothing like himself.

He had drains and tubes coming out of his lungs and out of the hole in his throat, the tube down his throat forced his Adam’s apple to be protruded out, and you couldn’t count the amount of medication drips he was hooked up to.

His usual dark circles were deeper, more purple, his skin pale, and a feeding tube was inserted into his nose. You swallowed hard and took a slow step closer to him. He was always so animated and full of life, yapping constantly. To see him so motionless, so silent… it was devastating.

Morgan was sitting in the chair next to his bed, his head down next to Reid. He had fallen asleep. Reid was like his little brother, he hadn’t left his side. He was still wearing the same clothes from the night of the shooting.

You could see the breathing machine pumping, inflating his lungs for him. You could hear a low hum and what sounded like fluid in there. Occasionally it looked like he would cough or gag around the tube.

“It’s normal, his body isn’t used to there being a tube there,” the nurse informs you as she injects something into his IV line.

“Does it hurt?” You ask.

“He’s not aware of it if it does,” she gives you a sympathetic smile.

His fingers twitched momentarily but it was the only sign of movement.

You pull a chair up next to him and sit slowly. You can’t take your eyes off of him. You physically feel your heart break seeing him like this. Seeing any one of your team like this would devastate you. But Reid… you had a complicated but reluctantly understanding with. He was more like you than anyone else there. Seeing him often felt like looking in a mirror, seeing him hurt was too much.

“The machine is only doing 20% of the breathing for him. The fluid has reduced a lot. This is progress,” Hotch says somberly. You nod and wipe a tear.

You wished Reid could talk. He’d give you a million different probabilities of how this could play out along with a run down of what all of the equipment did. He’d be realistic but you had a feeling he’d give you hope. Maybe though, you just wanted to hear his voice.

You touch his hand, and trace his fingers delicately. You wished you could help him. Wished you could do something.

Garcia rubs Morgans back and gestures for him to follow her. The team leaves you to have a minute alone with him.

“Why did you take that step?” Is the first thing you say through tears. “That was so stupid,” you laugh. “You’re supposed to be the genius,” you breathe out another tear fueled laugh.

You wrap your hand over his and squeeze.

“This team needs you, please just keeping fighting Reid,” you implore him. “Your mom will be here tonight. It took some strings to pull but Garcia has her on a plane now.”

“I’m so mad at you. You brilliant asshole,” you can’t help but to smile.

And then, you don’t know why you do it. He would hate it surely, but you stand up and plant a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Your hair looks ridiculous by the way,” you whisper and push the baby hairs back.

You start to think that maybe if you hadn’t holstered your gun, Reid wouldn’t have felt the need to step in front of you to take the shot. That’s realization hits you like a ton of bricks and forces you to sit back down.

You were really starting to feel like it was your fault.

“I’m so sorry, Reid,” your voice cracks and you squeeze his hand a final time before leaving the room.

“Let’s get you home,” JJ says and grabs your uninjured arm.

-

Days passed, days passed and you didn’t want to leave your house. You listened to the doctors and primarily did bed rest, but you were ancy.

Spencer had been taken off of sedation last night and was becoming more lucid. You would get to see him tonight. Garcia says he’s improving quickly.

The last few days passed in a blur, the same way a hummingbird passes by a kitchen window. You rub your arms and sip your coffee. You don’t know how what you’re going to say to him.

Part of you still warred with guilt, with the way that technically you guys didn’t even like each other. Yet something had changed. Something gave way that night. You couldn’t explain it but you needed to talk to him. Maybe you needed to know whether or not he blamed you.

Did you make a bad call by holstering your gun?

You didn’t know. Hotch still hadn’t debriefed you or taken your statement of events.

Night falls and you step into Spencer’s hospital room hesitantly. You had been haunted by the state in which you saw him last time, the trauma of it all clawing at your heart.

To your surprise, his bed is propped up and there’s a book in his hand. You smile with delight at the way he can’t help but attempt to lean forward over the book like always.

“Wow,” you say. It’s remarkable how much better he looks. Still injured, still disheveled, but so much better.

He waves at you with that flat smile he favors.

“He can’t talk right now,” Morgan informs. “But he wrote down a list,” he holds up a stack of books.

“Of course Dr. Reid wakes up from a coma and wants to read Dostoevsky,” you smile.

He doesn’t return the sentiment but grabs what appears to be a white board and marker. He starts scribbling before holding it up to you.

“How are you?” It reads.

“Sore, but alive,” you want to say ‘thanks to you’ but you refrain. Instead you take a seat on the opposite side of the bed as Morgan.

“Well now that you’re here, I think I’m going to go home and rest,” Morgan sighs and stands.

“You’ve only been here a week,” you joke. “Get out of here, we’ll call you if anything changes.”

Spencer starts scribbling on his board again.

“I’m sorry,” it says in his signature hand writing.

“For what?” You ask softly and adjust in your chair to look in his bloodshot eyes.

“That you still got hit,” it says simply and he frowns.

“Don’t apologize! You saved my life,” you respond exasperatedly. “We almost lost you Spencer. You have nothing to be sorry for,” you don’t realize it but you start pacing. “I was so mad at you for stepping in front of me. That bullet should have been for me,” you gesture at him.

His eyebrows furrow and he starts shaking his head.

“No.” He writes on the board.

You sigh and sit back down when you see that his heart rate increases significantly on the monitor.

“Are you okay?” You redirect the conversation. He thinks for a moment and you find yourself wanting to touch his hair, to comfort him. It’s a new desire, an odd one.

“They haven’t explained what happened to me. I don’t remember,” he scribbles.

“Do you want me to tell you?” You ask and place your hand on his.

He looks down at where you touch him but nods.

You tell him everything from the moment you saw him bleeding to the surgery and the coma.

“But you’re out of the woods and making great strides to recovery,” you finish.

He presses his palm into his eye socket as though his head hurts before writing again.

“Thank you. I’m okay,” is all it says.

“You’re straining your eyes by reading,” you point out when he blinks as thought his head hurts.

He nods, aware of that fact.

“Here,” you take the book from him. He lets you and points out where he left off. You begin to read to him and he lays back in the bed with a deep breath.

“…He was so obsessed with what had happened to him that he was afraid to put it into words, lest he should lose it all at once, lest he should be left with nothing. He was so possessed by the idea that he was afraid to think of anything else; he wanted to forget everything else, to think of nothing, to do nothing, to feel nothing, so as not to lose what he had gained…” you trail off.

When you glance over at him he’s gripping his journal, the pen beside him, and he’s fallen asleep.

You dim the lights and take his journal from him. You glance only at what he had dozed off writing.

‘I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.’

The quote takes you by surprise, mostly the familiarity of it. You can’t place where you’d read it before nor could you figure out why he was writing it.

Nonetheless you place the journal on the table beside him before moving to get comfortable in the recliner. You would sleep there tonight.

Sleep finds you slowly, the quote he sketched replaying in your mind. You’ll figure out where you read it tomorrow.

A/N: I just finished season 8, I had no idea until after writing this that Spence suffers a similar injury in season 9- oops.

[blitzosblog]

Serendipity - S•R

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Rating: 18+

Summary: The team go to New Orleans for a case and Spencer is paired with a local officer, the two end up getting closer to one another than they'd thought. (This is a mini one shot)

Warnings: Swearing, kissing, fingering, oral (male receiving), Semi-public.

----------------------------------------------------------

Your back hit the wall as Spencer lips moved against yours quickly, his hand sliding up your shirt, his other making its way down your body.

You both found yourselves in your office, the lights low, shallow breathes and grunts filling the room.

"Is this okay?" He asked as his hand was placed on your stomach.

"God yes" You replied, he smirked down at you, slipping his hand into your underwear, fingers entering you slowly, you moaned lowly, allowing his tongue to enter your mouth, he pushed another finger inside you and began pushing at a steady pace.

"Fuck spencer, please go faster" You begged and of course he complied, his fingers moving faster, you gripped his hand as you climax neared, you could feel yourself tightening around his digits.

"Spence-" You began, he picked up his pace, lips now attached to your neck.

"Go on" He whispered to you, you leaned your head back and moaned silently as you hit your high, Spencers fingers slowing down as he helped you through your high, your breathing slowed as you smiled at him.

"Your turn" You said, your hands going to his shoulders pushing him back into the chair behind him, you fell to your knees, eyes locked with his, your hands made their way to his zipper, slowly dragging it down, taking his hardening member into your hands.

"Y/N you don't have to do this" He whispered.

"I want to, just sit back and enjoy" You said smiling before taking him into your mouth, swirling your tongue round as you wrapped your hand round the remainder of his length, bobbing your head up and down, Spencer's hand finding its way into your hair, he moaned and bucked into your mouth, you moaned around him, taking him in deeper.

Your hand sped up as Spencer's grunts became louder, his thighs shook slightly, his grip tightened and you knew he was close, your hand moved along with your mouth, tongue sliding up and down his underside, he held you close as he realised into your mouth, you slowly sat back swallowing and looking up at him.

His chest moved up and down quickly, tucking himself back into his pants, you stood, straightening out your clothing.

Spencer stood from the chair, approaching you, he pulled you close as your lips connected with one another again.

"That was amazing" He said as your lips parted, you looked into his eyes as he drew circles on your back.

"Thanks your not so bad yourself."

"I would love to carry this on but I think a first date is in order" He proposed to you, a awkward smile etching its way across his face.

"I would love that Dr Reid, but for now I think we should get back to the team don't you" You replied, he let out a little laugh at your comment, he went back to your door opening it for you, you smiled at him before leaving the office.

The two of you couldn't stop smiling the rest of the day.

[amberjazmyn]

matthew gray gubler one-shot

𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓰𝓲𝓷𝓮 - you are my sunshine

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 - mention of miscarriage, rainbow baby announcement, crying, sadness that turns into happiness, song lyrics (does christina perri also need a warning?)

𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓬𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 - with the lyrics of christina perri's "you are my sunshine" we learn about matthew gray gubler and his wife jordannah gubler's miscarriage that they never publically posted until now when they've gone through their grieving process and the process of them finding out and announcing their first rainbow baby which then ends with them having three kids.

𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮 - i wanted to rewrite and retransform my jared padalecki miscarriage chapter for MGG so, that is what i'm doing. however, this isn't going to be sad the entire time so, don't worry you won't be crying/sad the entire read. as always, song lyrics are italicised bold, flashbacks are italics and present time is normal font.

masterlist

- - -

"you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey!"

jordannah gubler, the wife of matthew gray gubler, fellow criminal minds costar, had just been given the best news ever. she just found out she was pregnant with their first child. she couldn't believe that finally, she was going to become a mom and her husband, matthew, was going to become a dad.

frantically, she put together a box of things to surprise matthew with to let him know the amazingly good news that she had just found out moments ago. just as she was finishing up with the surprise, she quickly set up her iphone so she could film her husband's reaction. when, suddenly, the front door opened and her husband's loud, excited las vegas, nevadian accent reverberated throughout the house. scaring jordannah, making her jump for a second as she stared at the camera with a scared look. she then waited for her nevadian husband to come into the kitchen, in which she had placed the surprise present for him to open.

"...good afternoon, darling! i'm home!" matthew's very obvious nevada accent calls out and jordannah smiles at the camera

that was after though because at first it made her jump in fright as she waits for him to come into the kitchen. the iphone continuing to record the surprise that was to come.

"hey hun, i'm in the kitchen!" jordannah calls out as matthew's laughter can be heard as he puts his stuff down in the mudroom

with his phone in his hand, matthew walks into the kitchen to see his wife, "hey, sweetheart!" matthew mumbles as he swoops in, not even noticing the fact that his wife was filming the both of them as he pulls her in for a hug as she chuckles

they talk for a few minutes without matthew even realising the present on the counter right in front of him. let alone noticing his wife's iphone that was filming them until jordannah nudges him and forces him to notice the present.

"...oh, bubs, i also got you a special little something..." jordannah forces her husband to notice the present as he giggles

placing his phone in his hoodie pocket, he then looks down at the counter - finally noticing the white box in front of him.

"...jordy, honey, why? it's not my birthday or christmas or anything! why'd you get me a present? fuck...please don't tell me i missed an anniversary of ours!" matthew panics as he tries to remember if he had missed any anniversaries or anything as he started to open the lid

but, he was very skeptical in opening the lid of the box which made jordannah laugh but filled her with anxiety that maybe, he wasn't exactly ready for a baby and to become a parent. however, all of jordannah's fear and anxiety went away instantly the moment when matthew just fell into jordannah's embrace. immediately starting to cry happy tears. she knew it was happy tears due to the way his face contorted before he hid it away into jordannah's shoulder.

"bub, are you serious?" matthew whispered as the couple hugged as matthew couldn't speak any louder

in the muddle of emotions, jordannah giggled and nodded her head, confirming matthew's question.

"yes, i'm absolutely serious, bub, we're pregnant!" jordannah spoke softly and lovingly with excitement

matthew just stayed silent as he hugged his wife tighter as she continued to giggle.

"how far along? does it say on the...on the thing?" matthew stammered to himself

he then grabbed the clearblue pregnancy test to see how long his wife was when he smiled - she was more than a couple of weeks along.

"you happy darling?" jordannah muttered as she giggled and matthew nodded his head, wiping his tears as he chuckled softly

"i'm more than happy, bub, we're gonna be parents! we're gonna have a little family of three!" matthew spoke softly as he smiled the brightest smile he had smiled since their wedding

"i know, babe, it's crazy!" jordannah giggled as matthew then kneeled down and gave a sweet little kiss to his wife's tummmy

this, of course, made jordannah giggle as she sat herself up, "what are you doing hun?" jordannah giggled as matthew lifted his head up at his wife

"i'm saying hello to our little baby! it has to know who its parents are!" matthew spoke as though it was so obvious as jordannah shook her head

then, it was decided that a photo of the positive pregnancy test would be taken and then sent to their criminal minds group chat. but, making it known that, this information stays in the group chat and doesn't leave.

"...let's send this photo to the criminal minds group chat and tell them to keep it secret. so it's just between us and the group and private for as long as we can. that is until we know that it won't miscarry, is that okay?" jordannah suggests, worried that if they did post it now when it was still considered early, that they could potentially lose the baby

and without hesitation, matthew agreed with his wife's proposal and that's just how the wind blew for this situation. no ifs, no buts, no watermelons.

"that's totally fine babe. we can do that, it'll just be our little secret with the criminal minds cast. and no one else, until we're ready, will be told!" matthew whispers, moving closer and closer to his wife and baby as he pulled her closer to him, making her giggle

criminal minds fam

joe, kirsten, matthew, aj, jordannah, thomas, paget etc. 

matthew

joe

wait, hold up!

thomas

omg! congrats you two! wifey and i both send our love and congratulations

paget

no way! congratulations you two!

shemar

duuuuuudddeee! that's amazing news you two!

kirsten

MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER! you can't just do that and then dip darling!

aj

awe, jordannah and matthew, congratulations my darlings!

aisha

guys that's the best news ever!

jordannah

thank you, guys! i'm very early, i'm only a couple of weeks. so, because of that, i'm only wanting to keep this between us if that's okay with y'all!

thomas

oh, of course, honey! that's totally fine. better to be safe than sorry, my wife did the same thing when we had our children. best decision we made i reckon.

aj

honestly, that's an amazing choice, jordy, however, i also told nathan and mehkai and they just let out the loudest screeches of happiness, we send our love and congratulations. and, that's totally ok, jordy, besides, anything we talk about in this gc rarely ever is mentioned outside of it so, it's locked, never to be released until the time's ready.

paget

amen, sister! good choice.

thomas,  shemar, aisha and joe sent thumbs up.

kirsten

better safe than sorry, jordy. secret's safe with us darling

aisha

i agree, until ready, this announcement will not be mentioned outside of this chat. also, i'm with adam and daniel and they send their congratulations and squeals of excitement xx

jordannah

thanks, guys! and, thank you aisha! tell them i said thanks and send all the hugs and kisses

aisha

of course, i will babe x

however, not even a month after the group chat was aroused in excitement for the new news that the gubler's were going to have their own baby gubler, tragedy struck. jordannah's biggest and worst nightmare came true - she miscarried their baby.

you'll never know dear, how much i love you, please don't take my sunshine away

just days before and during the day that jordannah miscarried her baby, she was singing a sweet, famous lullaby to her not even rounded baby bump. it was christina perri's version of you are my sunshine. she was sitting on the couch, her feet resting underneath her bum as she sang with her hands resting on her bare barely pregnant tummy. matthew smiled as he sat down next to his wife, his head resting on her shoulder as he was the third and fourth hands to join in with the rubbing/resting on the pregnant belly.

"you'll never know dear, how much i love you, please don't take my sunshine away!" jordannah sang softly to the little baby that was peacefully resting in her belly as matthew smiled lovingly

"i wonder if it's a boy or a girl," matthew spoke softly, as not to disturb the gorgeous serenity that his wife's singing voice had brought to the baby as she smiled

"as long as baby gubler is healthy and i'm healthy, that's all that matters, babe," jordannah whispered back as matthew nodded his head, very happy and satisfied with his wife's answer

the happy couple and their little munchkin just rested against the couch for the rest of the night. they watched a few movies on netflix before the night drifted away from them and it was suddenly coming close to 11 pm. which meant that, it was time for the gubler's to go to sleep.

however, for some odd reason, the next day and night, jordannah couldn't seem to get herself to fall asleep comfortably. because, she was starting to feel pain which, truthfully, wasn't just worrying her but also worried matthew. thinking she could get through the pain, jordannah just tried to slowly move through it like she usually would when she'd cramp up. but, this time, when a searing pain forced a blood curdling scream to come from jordannah, both her and matthew just knew. they knew that this wasn't normal and that they needed to get to the hospital now.

matthew, who people would think in this scenario would be panicking and crying, having no clue what to do, was the complete opposite. he was calm, he was collected and he didn't show one ounce of fear nor panic. and he calmly picked up jordannah, being mindful of the searing pain she was in that had now reduced her to tears and via voice control, send a text to the criminal minds group chat, letting them know. as well as sending paget a message if she and her partner could meet up with them at the hospital, just for some extra support. and almost immediately, the group chat was bombarded with messages of worry and prayers of healing and love whereas paget and her partner responded straight away saying they were ten steps ahead. all due to the fact they were the first to see the message in the criminal minds group chat.

thankful for their criminal minds family, jordannah and matthew got into their car and were quickly on their way to the hospital at 11:30 pm. and, fifteen minutes later, the gubler's had been given the heartbreaking news that, in fact, they had miscarried baby gubler when it was in week four which equated to a little over a month of jordannah being pregnant.

the other night dear, as i lay sleeping, i dreamed i held you in my arms

jordannah couldn't and wouldn't dare to fall asleep knowing now that she had lost their gorgeous baby. she couldn't even think about sleep anymore now that she was out of the hospital. cause, when she was in the hospital with matthew for those few days, that was all they did. but, even in the hospital, all jordannah would dream about was holding her newborn baby in her arms with matthew standing next to her as they both cried in awe and love for their new child. but, that was no longer the dream that they would have been getting in nine months. realistically, in nine months, they would potentially still be grieving over this loss when it came to the estimated due date. when women miscarry, everyone always just thinks of them and how heartbreaking it must be for them since the baby was being carried by them. but, no one ever really stops to check on the father of the baby to see how he was doing. and, matthew, he was destroyed by the fact that jordannah miscarried. but it destoryed him even more that jordannah wasn't sleeping properly. but it really hurt him every night that whilst she laid in bed next to him and couldn't fall asleep but he could. it honestly made him feel like he had stopped grieving completely or that he wasn't grieving properly.it made him feel like he was being an awful husband for not staying awake for her whilst her brain ran wild and he just slept as if it didn't bother him. but, it did bother him. it bothered matthew so much more than he allowed people to know, including jordannah. every single time he closed his eyes, all he saw was the innocent little baby that was going to be his and jordannah's first child. their first love but by the time he woke up, the image would be gone in the blink of an eye. so, the second he closed his eyes again, the image would change and it would change to the moment in the hospital where the midwife confirmed the news. the news that would end up haunting the couple for the rest of their lives. the news that they ended up miscarrying their first baby.

most times, when he knew that jordannah was out of the house or just not paying attention, only then, did matthew allow himself the space to grieve and to cry. however, it had started to become harder for matthew that when he did cry, to cry silently. because each time he would have regular cries in the safety of the bathroom, he began to notice that jordannah wasn't always not paying attention and started to become suspicious and worried. worried that matthew was struggling and hurting over the loss of their baby. matthew would cry and cry and cry and try to be as quiet as he could whilst his wife lay sleeplessly and awake in their shared bed or whenever she was away for work. that was, until the poor guy was all cried out, with no more tears left and as quietly as he humanely could would tip-toe back to their bed to go back to the god awful sleep that he would fall back into until the alarm wakes him up in the morning. to which he'd repeat the process of the night before the following day. matthew hated that he'd cry and cry and cry all on his own whilst he was alone or whilst his wife laid in their bed absolutely none the wiser as to why he would spend hours in that ensuite all alone.

and sometimes, matthew hoped that one night, he would accidentally be too loud and jordannah would hear him. and hoped he did because, the last time he weeped over the miscarriage, jordannah was home, wide awake and she noticed that something wasn't right with her husband. sitting up from her laying down position on the bed and leaving the room, jordannah slipped towards the ensuite to make sure everything was okay. she had realised that matthew had been in the bathroom for nearly two hours at that point and it was giving jordannah the worst most unsettling feeling in her tummy. so, in worry for her husband, jordannah called her husband's name, expecting to hear something like "i'm on the toilet" or an "i'm getting dressed" but, what she got was a strangled noise that sounded nothing but a sob that was not meant to be so loud. and it was obvious to jordannah that it was matthew crying since they were the only ones at home since she had let paget and her partner to go back to their own home. and, it broke jordannah's heart hearing her husband cry in general but to hear him cry like that, it was more than heartbreaking. and it then made her think - how long had matthew been all on his own as he grieved and cried over the miscarriage when she'd be lying in bed awake or out at work or running errands?

"...matthew...babe? you okay?" jordannah whispered softly

as she whispered, she pressed her ear against their ensuite door when she could tell that matthew was trying his hardest to quieten down his sobs. ultimately failing as involuntarily, his sobs continued to be loud, unable to be quietened.

she spent two minutes with her ear pressed against that door, hearing the strained sobs of her husband that he desperately tried to keep silent. still, having absolutely no clue that his wife could and was listening in on the other side of the door. however, two minutes suddenly felt like forever and jordannah could no longer stand with her ear pressed against that door any longer. she couldn't believe she hadn't realised until tonight that for so long, matthew had been grieving all alone. jordannah was annoyed at the fact that he was grieving all on his own when it was late at night so if they were to have guests over. in which, since the miscarriage, they had been. no one would suspect a single thing nor would they become suspicious. however, matthew could no longer cry quietly anymore and frankly, jordannah couldn't be ignorant and ignore it anymore. she had to go into the bathroom and make sure that matthew knew that she was there for him and that she wasn't ever going to let him grieve this on his own anymore and any future grievance they go through.

jordannah knocked on the door softly as she heard her husband's cries as he begged for the oxygen in his lungs to let him breathe. but wasn't able to due to the amount of crying he'd been doing. jordannah then burst in without a moment to think, knowing that she now needed to get her husband to breathe normally. and to stop his tears as that wasn't going to make his panic attack any better and it was going to make him sick. maybe not physically but it was for sure going to make him dizzy and maybe a slight bit nauseous if he kept going.

immediately, jordannah kneeled on the bathroom floor, identical to matthew and pulled him closer to her body. doing that to see if her regular breathing could regulate matthew's and bring it back to normal pace. holding him close, she had one hand tight around his back with the other lightly fluffing his hair as a way to calm him down.

an hour later and matthew was no longer loudly sobbing as his tears had now reduced to sniffles. he and jordannah resting their backs against the bathroom wall with his head in her lap as jordannah brushed her fingers through his scruffy hair.

"...how long have you been grieving on your own, babe? why didn't you ever tell me?" jordannah spoke up softly, continuing to brush her fingers through her husband's hair as he sniffled

"since it happened....i...i guess i didn't tell you because i didn't really want you to worry about me. and also because you needed to focus on yourself and your own recovery. so...i...i guess i just thought that if i grieved and cried in here when it was late at night and when you were in bed and i was quiet enough, you wouldn't worry about me..." matthew trailed off, his voice cracking as jordannah's heart broke

"...matthew gray gubler, you know you could have cried with me. we always have cried and grieved together except for the loss of the baby. i have already focused on myself and my recovery. i'm now worried because you were all on your own and grieving for all this time. you didn't need to hide away and do it on your own. you didn't need to be so quiet to the point of losing your breath. and you wouldn't have made me cry if i heard you cry. i would've gotten my arse out of bed and i would've been right here. please, matthew, don't run and hide next time you need to cry, okay?" jordannah whispered as she caressed matthew's cheek

she played with his hair to distract him as matthew nodded his head. another tear slipping down his cheek as jordannah caught it with her soft finger as he chuckled softly.

"mhm, i know," he mumbled shyly as jordannah smiled softly at her grief-stricken husband

"then why didn't you and, tell me the truth bubs, the full truth," jordannah spoke softly, not in a pushy, demanding matter but a sensitive matter which matthew loved

"you were the one carrying baby for four weeks when we lost it. i...i just thought that because you're the mommy and the one that's carrying bubba that i shouldn't be so upset about it. i guess i was just embarrassed about crying over it than normal..." matthew trailed off as jordannah pouted, cuddling her husband closer and tighter

"...oh, honey, no. just because i carried baby, doesn't mean you can't grieve over the loss. it wasn't just my child, it was yours. it was ours, babe. sure, you couldn't feel the physical pain of a miscarriage and you'll never be able to but i'm glad you can't. but that doesn't mean you can't grieve and cry over the loss of what was going to be your child. invalidating your own feelings isn't okay sweetheart. once again, let me remind you, you're allowed to cry and be vulnerable. besides, you're a pisces and you're matthew gray gubler, if anything you're allowed to cry because of that fact *giggles*. not that that's stopped you before but, in all seriousness matthew, you're allowed to cry. because, again, this baby was also yours and you also deserve to grieve and miss it," jordannah spoke soothingly as matthew nodded his head and sniffled

"thanks babe," he muttered softly as jordannah smiled and nodded her head, scratching the top of his head

as jordannah scratched the top of matthew's head, he smiled and groaned with delight at the relief her scratches were giving him.

"your welcome sweetheart," jordannah smiled as it was now 2 am

and because of how late/early it was, it was decided that that night, for the first time, jordannah was to finally go to sleep since she had completely exhausted herself out. whilst matthew was zonked out from all of the crying he had been doing.

when i awoke, dear, i was mistaken so i hung my head and i cried

after a couple of hours of sleep, jordannah and matthew woke up and, just as she imagined, she dreamt of holding baby gubler. so, she hung her head and she cried. and, just like the way she was there for him earlier, matthew was there as he held his wife tightly for it was now her turn to cry over their devastating loss. although, jordannah didn't cry for as long as matthew did, she was still finally able to allow herself to fall asleep even though she knew she'd still dream about their baby. she knew she was always going to have matthew right there beside her to make sure that she'd never cry on her own like he had been doing.

whispering comfort and sweet nothings to his wife, matthew held her as tightly as he could. so he could make sure that she knew that, just like she had promised him, that she wasn't alone in this sadness and grief over their lost baby.

for the gubler's, it took them about three to four weeks of crying and grief after waking up before it stopped. and the both of them were able to wake up without crying and dreaming about baby gubler. they loved that and called it progess in their grief and loss journey. the entire cast and crew of criminal minds had also welcomed the couple back with open arms back to los angeles. that was when the both of them finally returned back for the filming of the show. it was obvious though when the girls, paget and jordannah, reunited that they were extremely happy and excited to be reunited with each other again. and, the same could have been said with matthew and paget's partner.

"...jordy, how are you and matthew going after the loss? you guys tried at it again or, are you just waiting until it feels right again?" paget asked as the two ladies waited in matthew's trailer - the usual resting place for the gubler/brewster family

"we're going great thanks, pag, umm, we've had a lot of sex as honestly, losing baby made me want to try even harder for a baby. so, we've decided that we're going to try for as long as we can until we get another positive and then we just hope that it'll work," jordannah was confident and all smiles as she explained that to paget

which, in all honestly, not only shocked paget but made her so proud of her best friend. as, when they were speaking over facetime, paget couldn't even say certain words like "loss" and "sex" because it would be too triggering for the grieving girl. reducing her to tears but, not anymore it wasn't.

"jordy, that's amazing! so, are you still getting your period then?" paget questioned, moving closer to her so no one else could hear the two of them as jordannah giggled

"no...i've got a few tests that i'm gonna take today so, i'm hoping that what i think is happening is going to happen..." jordannah trailed off as paget was shocked - she couldn't believe that her best friend was most likely pregnant again

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey

the news of jordannah's second pregnancy was the best news that she could have ever gotten after that day on set in matthew's trailer with paget. whilst it gave her a huge wave of deja vu of their first pregnancy. which then ultimately gave her a smack in the face of the rememberance of their heartbreaking loss of the baby, the biggest emotion she felt nevertheless was excitement and happiness. she was over the moon with the four tests that she held with all of them saying that she was pregnant. and, the best part was that she was basically teetering on the edge of her second trimester already. meaning that she had way surpassed her miscarriage date which was week four of pregnancy meaning she was now around twelve/fourteen weeks pregnant.

jordannah squealed in excitement as she looked at the four pregnancy tests in front of her. all of them saying "positive" as she caculated that she must have been teetering on the edge of the second trimester. which meant that baby gubler was definitely not going to miscarry. which meant that jordannah was less fearful about this pregnancy like she was over the first one. and, just like the first time, she decided she wanted to surprise matthew. and, she had to be better about it this time. and better she did. this time, she upped her game and used the tests and a snapback with the word "daddy" stitched on the front.

announcing the news to matthew was probably the most exciting thing ever. just like the first time, he came home and she had her iphone set up to film his reaction. the tests and the snapback cap on the kitchen bench just resting there as they waited matthew's reaction.

"...jordy, i'm home! where you at pretty girl?" matthew calls out as jordannah giggles softly

"in the kitchen bubs, i have something for you!" jordannah calls back out which makes matthew rush into the kitchen

he then halts suddenly when he notices what was resting on the counter waiting for him. it took matthew a couple of seconds to a minute to realise but, the second it clicked in his head, he realised it was real. and that, jordannah, the love of his life, was pregnant again. overwhelmed with happiness, his knees buckled and he dropped, his hand holding tightly to the counter so he wouldn't fully fall. he then broke down into happy tears as jordannah smiled, giggling softly. joining her husband on the floor, she carefully brought him close as they rejoiced together for the fact that they were getting their rainbow baby. crying into his wife's embrace, matthew couldn't believe that he was going to be a dad again. not caring if it was a boy or a girl, all he cared about was the fact that his wife was not only past her previous miscarriage date but was also in her second trimester. and this then meant that they actually had a fair chance of having a healthly and successful pregnancy together.

immediately, just like the first time, they told their castmates and even better reactions than the first time followed. due to the newest baby gubler being a rainbow gubler, it was a lot more of happy crying as their first reaction to the news. which, seemed to be the best but most common reaction when jordannah and matthew told someone.the best reaction, however, had to of come from paget and steve, her partner, and aj & her husband nathan. the four of them being told separately, matthew telling aj, steve & nathan in their trailer and jordannah telling paget during a scene. and, let's just say they were really the best reactions ever. especially when paget broke character immediately, grabbing a hold of jordannah, pleading to her that she wasn't lying. all of the cast just glad and grateful that their best friends were becoming parents again after the loss of their first baby.

it was at just after fourteen weeks that the gubler's finally decided to post about their pregnancy but also talk about their miscarriage. since it had all seemed like it happened so quickly.

gublergram 

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gublergram five months ago, before our current pregnancy, jordannah was pregnant with what would have been our first baby. we were absolutely overjoyed as was our best friends and criminal minds family. the second photo was when i found out about our first baby gubler. jordannah had obviously just thrown the test onto the counter whilst she was off from work and when i was working as it was when we were living at our apartment in los angeles. and she just quickly whipped it up just in time to surprise me with it when i came home. i was honestly the happiest i had ever been in my life. jordannah had filmed the entire surprise and i was overjoyed with the news that we were pregnant. the first people we actually told were our criminal minds cast through our cheeky group chat. they were all so excited and rejoiced alongside us over our little secret of baby gubler. that was until, not even a month into jordannah's pregnancy, we went to bed late one night after jordannah had sung a lullaby to our baby when whilst we were sleeping, she felt a sudden, excruciating pain that reduced her to blood-curdling screams. immediately, i knew something wasn't right and, with paget and her partner steve ten steps in front of us, waiting for us at the hospital, we got there at 11:30 pm only to find out fifteen minutes later at 11:45 that jordannah had miscarried and we had lost baby gubler. it honestly broke my heart more than i'd liked to admit it. for the entire time after the miscarriage, i would cry alone in the bathroom, as quietly as i possibly could whilst jordannah laid awake in our bed as she refused to fall asleep. because, if she slept, she knew she'd dream about the baby and wake up to just cry. and this was something that she didn't want to become as a habit of hers like unbeknownst to her for ages had become a habit of mine. that was until i cried a little too loudly one night and it happened to grab jordannah's attention. we then cried together for the next two to three weeks in the mornings after waking up before we just slowly started to be able to wake up and be happy and not cry over the loss of our baby. and then, twelve weeks ago, i got the surprise of my life (deja vu?) and found out that jordannah is pregnant again. and this time, it's for real. jordannah is in her second trimester and we're about to become parents!  

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jordannahgubler that day i told you about this new pregnancy, i really did think i was going to have to restart your heart because of how much you were crying.

jordannahgubler but in all seriousness darling, i'm glad we get to have a second chance of having a family of our own

pagetpagetgram still in tears over this! the best surprise during filming ever!

kirstenvangsness  congratulations again guys! you'll be the best parents ever

ajcook still the best news ever! also, sorry matthew if i screamed in your ears too loudly, i was just so excited haha

jordannahgubler

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jordannahgubler before i got pregnant with matthew and i's second baby, about five months before, i was pregnant with our first baby. however, it was obviously not the right time as heartbreakingly, at four weeks, we lost it and i miscarried. of course, matthew and i were both devastated but, there is a reason why we're only talking about our miscarriage now alongside our new pregnancy. and that is because the general rule of thumb is to wait until around the twelve-week mark, which is around the beginning of the second trimester and it's generally when the worry of miscarrying and pregnancy loss is at its least likely to occur. and for those entire five months after, we grieved, the first two were the worst. those first two months were the months that we cried separately and then cried together after waking up from dreaming of our baby. but, now that i'm a little further into my second trimester and have the blessing of being pregnant again, we feel comforted and like we're strong enough to finally speak up about our miscarriage. the first photo was actually the photo we did after we went to our first ultrasound with baby to announce to our families that we were pregnant again and the second photo was from when matthew, myself, paget and steve were at the hospital and found out about the miscarriage. i had to stay in the hospital a little bit longer than the four of us liked but, it was just to keep an eye on me considering i was experiencing a lot more pain that what was normal. so, they had to keep me in for supervision and the photo was taken by paget. despite the fact that in the photo, matthew and i aren't crying or looking devastated, we were sleeping because it was all we could do in the beginning. we were knackered to the point where for the first couple of days, we just slept but, it wasn't until the third day that i knew i wouldn't be able to sleep any longer because i would just dream about the baby we had just lost. i would stay awake throughout the night because if i did fall asleep, i'd dream about the baby and then i'd wake up just to start crying which was something i was determined not to do. i didn't want to be the mother who miscarried and just cried about the loss every day. even though i knew that was totally acceptable and more than okay for me to do, it just wasn't the mother i wanted to be. however, it was until i heard matthew cry in the bathroom one night when i was laying awake that i realised that for the entire month, nearly two, he had been crying and grieving all on his own in the ensuite. whilst i laid awake in our shared bed. that was when i finally realised that matthew was also grieving and that we couldn't do it on our own. it then took us another three to four weeks of crying every morning before we could wake up without crying. and now i'm fourteen and three days pregnant and baby is as healthy as their older sibling was. matthew and i are extremely excited to be parents again and it's all we can think about. now that i've passed all the dates of the possible miscarrying dangers, i'll now be spam posting my bumpdates and updating you all about the pregnancy. to the point where you may think about wanting to block both me and matthew. we are genuinely so excited and cannot wait to introduce our baby to you all and i'm sure baby can't wait either. thank you all for the love and support you guys have given us over these few months even though we left you guys in the dark. it truly means so much to know that you guys still love and support us.

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gublergram i am so excited about baby two! you are going to be an amazing mom, jords and i can already tell 

jordannahgubler gublergram  awe, babe, you are so sweet! you are going to be an amazing dad! 

ajcook i'm so proud of you two for not giving up just because you guys lost the first baby. i cannot wait to watch baby grow inside you, my love! 

jordannahgubler ajcook thank you aj! and i cannot wait for little baby to grow either! 

aishatyler ahh congrats again jordannah!!!

joemantegna that photo that paget sent us in the group chat after the miscarriage was haunting. but, congratulations again for baby number two bella xx

jordannahgubler joemantegna oh absolutely joe, that photo is a photo i never thought would ever have to be seen, taken and then seen again. and i agree, the next time i'll be at the hospital will no doubt be the best day of my life

you'll never know dear how much i love you, please don't take my sunshine away

a little over eight months later and finally, jordannah had given birth to a very healthy little girl. named sage emily gubler, sage was matthew and jordannah's pride and joy and was loved by everyone. but especially by her uncles and aunties at criminal minds, sage was spoiled but, it didn't seem to faze the little girl as all she cared about was the fact that she was going to be an older sister alongside her little sister harlow penelope gubler. yeah, you heard that right, jordannah and matthew were bringing their third and final baby into the world after aj and her husband nathan, in july, had introduced their baby boy, pheonix sky, into the world and after the gubler's had introduced their second little girl, harlow into the world. harlow a little over a year before their newest pregnancy. obviously, it did shock the gubler's that they were pregnant again after they had caught up to aj and nathan but, now they were just excited to complete their family with a baby boy. it also made sense for jordannah to finally give birth to her mommy's boy after birthing two girls who were head over heels, obsessed over their daddy. the photo that jordannah used to announce that she was pregnant with their baby boy were photos from when she was heavily pregnant. since, she decided that instead of how she announced her two baby girls, sage and harlow, that she would wait until she could take adorable maternity photos of her son. obviously, without even needing to announce it on instagram, the criminal minds family knew about the third pregnancy because it had been previously announced but, that didn't stop the husband and wife from still posting about it.

jordannahgubler 

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jordannahgubler spencer gray gubler, we are so blessed to finally meet you after waiting for you for so long. sage and harlow are so excited to meet you i think they're being a lot more impatient than daddy and mommy are. these three photos are truly, in me and matthew's opinions, the most encompassing of our pregnancy with you little man. the first two, i was still pregnant with little spence and, the other one was when mommy and daddy got to finally meet you. and i hadn't even realised but october 31st seems like the best day to have a birthday in this family. whether matthew posts the same photos in his own post or not, we'll find out because there are some cute ones of the girls meeting spencer. spencer gray, you are so loved by so many my little man. the family is so blessed that you are finally here with us. i have been waiting for you, my little hallowbaby, for so long that when daddy and i found out we were pregnant with you so unexpectedly, we jumped for joy. as did your big sisters, sage and harlow when they found out they were getting a baby brother. harlow especially loves the fact that she finally gets to be an older sister after having to be the baby. we love you forever and a day, spencer gray.

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gublergram ok well shit babe, you made me cry all over again

jordannahgubler sorry babe! but look how cute our son is!

ajcook i still can't believe you guys finally got your little man! mehkai and phoenix absolutely adore little spencer. they're for sure gonna give us a run for our money now!

jordannahgubler ajcook i know right! i'm so glad we finally got our little spence!

pagetpagetgram he's gorgeous, jordannah! hubby and i are on our way to las vegas this weekend so, maybe we'll be able to catch a small glimpse of baby spence?

jordannahgubler pagetpagetgram omg, yes please! that would be perfect, paget! sage and harlow would love to see you two again! i know for sure that matthew would also love to see steve again as well!

thomasgibsonofficial oh, he is just gorgeous, jordannah! the family and i are longing to meet the little bug.

gublergram 

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gublergram hello spencer gray gubler. our little halloween baby. sage and harlow are a little too obsessed with him at this point but, honestly, we're just glad we've finally completed our small little family. and, we are also relieved that the two girls love their brother. the first photo is of savannah, pregnant with spencer at the beach with sage holding her hand, i had harlow with me so that's why she wasn't in the photo. and, i just thought it was too good for me to not post. in the second photo was of me, jordy and spencer not too long after spencer came into the world and i think it's very easy to see that we were still so shocked that we were given a little baby boy. the third photo is of spencer and sage and it's the sweetest thing and the most recent photo that has been taken. and the last photo is of harlow and spencer and it's another recent photo of spencer with one of his sisters. we love you so much spencer gray, thank you for completing the gubler family.

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jordannahgubler my lordy lord, those photos of sage and harlow with spencer is going to be the death of me! most especially if the adorableness continues

ajcook awe, bless! spencer is gorgeous you two. nathan, mehkai, pheonix and i are on our way to see you guys since mehkai and pheonix want to meet you so badly.

aishatyler oh my days. spencer is gorgeous, matthew! jordannah did a gorgeous job with your guys' kids.

stevedamstra okay, yep, matthew and jordannah, paget and i are now on a plane to las vegas, we cannot wait any longer!

gublergram stevedamstra that is fine by us, steve! i'm sure sage and harlow will be excited to see you again! and i'm sure spencer would love to meet more of his mommy and daddy's friends

what originally started off for the gubler's as a heartbreaking miscarriage turned into them having a gorgeous little family of five. with their three beautiful kids, sage, harlow and spencer alongside their criminal minds family.

jordannah and matthew's sunshine was no longer taken away from them.

- - -

i loved rewriting and reimagining this and i'm so glad it turned out like this. also, if any of the social media handles were wrong, apologies. i also love christina perri's cover of "you are my sunshine" so that was also the original inspiration for when i first wrote this imagine. and i really hope that i could maybe do more of these with the characters and actors of criminal minds as that would be cool ya know? 

ok ily xx

[wrenreid]

Just Acting

Chapter Twenty

Gifts are exchanged, hot chocolate and donuts are consumed, and your mom plays Christmas music on the tv. After getting the wrapping paper in the trash can and cleaning up the living room, you sit on the couch. Your legs are folded under you, and a soft blanket lays over your lap.

Lola plops down beside you after putting her things up in her room. "When are you going back to LA?"

"Trying to get rid of me already?"

"Yeah, obviously," she smiles.

"My plane leaves on the 30th,” you tell her.

"Okay."

"Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, just curious." she shrugs.

"I think I'm going to ask Conner out on a date," You say pressing your lips together.

"Really? I figured you would say you have no time for dating,” she says.

"Well, I don't. But I figured why not start getting out there again?”

She nods. "Have you talked to Matthew recently?"

"Why did you bring him up while we're talking about dating?”

Lola laughs at you. "I was just wondering." She has a small smirk on her face.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say anything!"

"I know what you're thinking, Lola."

She smiles wider, and you roll your eyes.

_____

"Hey! It's Y/n, I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date maybe tomorrow?..... Does that sound stupid?"

"Be more confident," Lola says, leaning over you and your phone. "Demand it."

"I'm not going to demand him to date me!" You chuckle softly.

She laughs. "Fine, but don't say maybe. Let him know you want it, but don't sound desperate."

You nod your head. "I never thought I'd be taking dating advice from a kid who's never even had a real date."

"I have!” she says a bit defensively.

You chuckle again. "Okay, I'm just going to send something before I overthink it."

"Hey, it's Y/n. Let's go on a date soon?" You text Conner.

"Not bad," Lola tells you.

You sigh. "What should we do today?"

"What can we do? Most places are still closed."

It's December 27th, and you're bored at home.

"Ugh," you groan.

"Let's go drive around?"

"I'm down," you say. "Anything to get off this damn couch."

You get up and throw on black sweatpants and an unzipped jacket over your red t shirt. Lola changes out of her pjs, which you both had been in all day, and into gray joggers, a black hoodie, and a black beanie. You both slip on your shoes and head to her car.

Lola drives down random roads and you play dj. After a while, Lola pulls into the parking lot of a gas station and you get slushees. Your dad always thought you girls were crazy because you'd eat or drink cold things in the winter.

The sun is down and it's getting even darker out. Lola drives around some more and you guys just talk about random things and sing at the top of your lungs.

"Well, I have a date tomorrow," you say, taking a sip of your cherry slushee and texting Conner back.

"Ooh nice! What time?"

"Seven."

"So you're going to leave me all night?"

"I'll be gone for like two hours, Lola. Dramatic ass."

She laughs, starting the drive back home.

After about thirty minutes, you're back home and in your sister's bed. You lay down while she sits in a bean bag chair beside her bed.

—————

"If this goes south, text me and I'll act like Mom's dying or something."

You shake your head with a soft laugh. “Thank you, but I think it'll be fine."

You slip on a pair of black high-waited jeans then walk to your closet where you'd hung up some clothes you brought.

"Flannel or blazer?"

"This isn't a business meeting, Y/n."

You press your lips together and nod. "Flannel it is, asswipe." After putting on a white t shirt and tucking it into your jeans, you throw on an oversized black, white, and dark red flannel.

You'd already fixed your hair and put on natural makeup. You sigh, "Dating is so weird. Getting to know people is awkward and annoying. Why can't someone I already know well just me my boyfriend or some shit," you chuckle.

"Because someone who already knows you wouldn't want to be your boyfriend," Lola says. You glare at her. "I'm kidding. Dating in the adult world sounds horrible. It's so much easier in school because you see these people every day."

"And you have so many options," you smile.

"Hey, you could try girls," she winks.

"I've thought about it, just isn't for me I guess."

"Understandable."

"Do I look stupid?" You ask after slipping into sneakers.

"No. You look pretty."

You give her a strange look before saying "Thank you."

She gives you weird finger guns, and you shake your head with a soft laugh.

“Who's kid are you?"

"Yours,” she says.

"God, I hope not."

The two of you laugh softly, and you grab your bag. You head out of your room. "Bye."

"Good luck, don't act stupid."

You roll your eyes and head downstairs.

"Have fun sweetie," Mom says.

"If you need saving, call us."

"Thanks Dad," you say furrowing your eyebrows.

You borrow Lola's car and pull out of the driveway. The restaurant Conner and you decided on meeting at is pretty chill, not too fancy but not like a McDonald's or anything. It's a few miles east from your house. You drive past the suburban Philadelphia scenery, which is mostly nice houses and a bunch of leaf-less trees on either side of the roads.

Eleven minutes later, you pull into the parking lot of the restaurant. It's family owned and fairly small, but it's a nice low-key spot.

Conner is sitting in a booth inside. He smiles at you, and you make your way to sit across from him.

"Hey. You look pretty," he says.

"Thank you, not too bad yourself,” you grin.

"Not going to lie, I was hoping you'd ask me out. I was a bit nervous to ask myself."

"Why?"

"I don't know, you're all superstar now,” he says.

"I am not," you laugh softly. "Still just the random kid from school, except I'm older now of course."

Conner smiles. "You seem different though. Not a bad thing.... so what's it like out in sunny California?"

"A lot different than here," you say honestly.

"I bet."

"What about you? How's the business?" You ask, and he looks confused for a second.

"Oh, it's been going fine."

You nod, pressing your lips together. "Dating is weird," you say out of the blue.

He chuckles. "It really is. So how's Criminal Minds been treating you?"

"It's been really fun."

"Oh c'mon, give me more than that. Any juicy details?"

"You'll have to watch for yourself when it comes out," say with a shrug.

"Lame," he laughs. "I'll admit, I was a little jealous when I saw those pictures of you and that actor Gubler on the internet."

"You were?" You furrow your eyebrows.

"Yeah. I mean, I've always had a crush on you."

"That's a shocker."

"How so?"

"You never said anything in school about it," you tell him.

"What can I say, I was shy."

"Yeah totally, the big basketball star was shy."

He shakes his head. "Around you, I was."

"There's not much to worry about this Gubler by the way,” you tell him with a blush.

"Really? You seemed all heart eyes for him," he laughs.

"That's funny,” you say.

"Okay..."

"What about you? I bet all of your dad's old lady customers are all over you," you giggle.

"Oh, totally. I get my cheeks pinched every day.”

A waiter comes and asks for your drink orders and leaves shortly after.

"Being in show business must be so much fun. I bet there's always something going on."

"Eh I sort of just stay out of it,” you say. “I’m not exactly a big name, so I’m not in all the drama.”

"What about on set though? There's got to be some drama there.”

You shrug. "Mostly just while we're acting. We're a family. No need for dramatics."

"Every family has drama," Conner says.

"Yeah, you would know," you laugh, referring to the family scandal his older sister brought onto them years ago.

"Hey, ouch," he says playfully. "So nothing interesting happens on set?"

You let out a breathy laugh and look at him questioningly. "We mostly just hang out and run lines. Or take naps. Trailer naps are the best."

Conner smiles. "Bet that's not the only thing fun in the trailer."

Your eyes widen. "Conner!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Unless you have something to add to that, then I am very curious."

"Shut up," you laugh.

"Hmm not a no."

"No. No," you chuckle, cheeks turning pink.

Your waters come out and the waiter takes your food orders. You decide on a toasted sandwich with fries.

He’s on his phone for a moment. “Sorry, my mom’s texting me about something with the store.”

You tell him it’s no problem and sip your water as the two of you talk a little more. "I'm going to head to the restroom," you excuse yourself and rise from the table.

You get to the restroom and your phone buzzes quickly after washing your hands “Hello?" You answer.

"Hey where are you right now?"

It's Matthew.

"I'm still in Philly," you say with a questioning tone.

"Yeah I know, but are you with someone?"

"That's none of your business, Gu-"

"Y/n, there's this guy who literally just tweeted some shit about you, and it's already blowing up."

"Wait what?" You question, running your hand through your hair while looking in the mirror.

"Are you with someone right now?" He asks again.

"Yeah, yeah this guy I knew in high school, we're on a date."

"Does his name happen to be Conner?"

"Yeah," you say, your chest rising and falling a bit faster.

"Shit. You need to go home."

"What did he say?"

"Don't worry about it, it's just a bunch of lies," he says softly.

"We, l I would like to know what's being spread about me on the internet."

"We'll fix this, Y/n. Just don’t look online right now,” he says, his voice oddly calming.

You nod even though he can't see you. "Right. Okay I'll tell him I have to go. Can you stay on the phone with me?"

"Yeah, of course."

You walk back to the table, not sitting down. "Hey, Conner, my mom needs me to come home," you point to your phone, "Something happened with my sister. It was nice meeting with you."

"Oh okay. We'll pick this up later?"

"Yeah," you muster up a smile.

When you get into your car, you see him watching you from the window. "Can I know what he said now?"

"Just some shit about how you’re a horror to work with and slept with one of your cast-mates in your trailer,” he says.

"What? That's- He was asking me a bunch of questions, I just thought he was making conversation. All I told him was that we were a family."

"He's a journalist, they love making u stuff for and reads.”

Technically one of the things he said wasn’t a lie, but it was not anything anybody was going to know about. You didn’t say it happened, he doesn’t know.

“I feel like a huge idiot."

"No, you're just a small idiot,” he says.

"Very funny, Matthew."

He laughs into the phone and you start the drive home. "When are you coming back to LA?"

"Next week."

"I got those tweets taken down."

"That was fast."

"I'm speedy," he says. “Well, I have people, and my people are speedy.”

"Thank you,” you breathe into your phone.

"Of course. If someone's going to spill the news you had sex in your trailer, it better be me."

You snort. "Shut up.” You sigh softly. “Friends?”

“Friends,” he agree. “I've got to go, my mom and I are taking matching sweater pictures."

You smile to yourself. "Have fun, Gube.”

“And I’m sorry for yelling at you.” Is what you’re about to say before the call ends.

"This is exactly why I hate dating," you say after recapping to your sister what happened.

"Because crazy money obsessed journalists normally spread lies on the internet, I get it, it happens to everyone."

You laugh at your sister, nudging her arm with yours.

While lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling, you realize something about yourself. Matthew annoyed the shit out of you, drove you crazy, and made you mad because you like him. A lot.

You couldn't handle Jordan because he was too comfortable, too boring. And Matthew... well, Matthew is loud and fun and makes you feel things you didn't know were possible.

_____

Lola stares at you with a satisfied smile on her face. She's definitely thinking 'I told you so.' "Just tell him."

"No. Nope. I messed shit up before, I can't afford to do that again. We're finally on good terms... I think, and I don't want to ruin it. And having to kiss someone for work after being rejected does not sound pleasant for me."

"Y/n, just woman up and tell him. You're not in high school anymore, you can't just avoid your feelings," Lila says.

She's right. You really hate when she's right.

"I'll tell him in person. I don't want to do it over the phone, and it'll give me some time to think about what I want to say," you tell her.

Lola nods. "Okay. Deal."

"Feelings are gross," you plop on your sister's bed with an exasperated sigh.

"Yes they are." Lola lays down next to you.

Luckily, you'd been able to go on Instagram and briefly explain the situation from last night's tweets. Most people believed you, and the deal was settled.

You go home tomorrow evening. You were originally going to stay in Pennsylvania until the second, but Aisha and the girls invited you to a New Year's Eve party. 

Lola and you decided to go to the movies together. You got ready and left the house.

The two of you ended up leaving the theater halfway through because of how bad the film was. It made for a good laugh though.

You drove to Sonic and ordered some cheese sticks and milkshakes for you and Lola to eat on the way home.

Since you had less than 24 hours until you left home again, you shared Lola's room with her for the night.

____

On the flight back to LA, you look out of the window at the clouds moving quickly past you. You'd just hugged your family goodbye an hour before.

The plane lands a couple hours later, and you take an uber back to your apartment. You take a deep breath as you walk into the place. It feels good to be back, but you know you'll miss your family soon.

After setting your bags down in your room, you plop down on your own bed. You get a text from Jess not long after saying she wants to see you tonight. You ask her to come over when she can. It's nice to be back with your friends in the noisy city you've gotten so used to.

twenty-one

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @danis-stuff-is-here @kylakins88 @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @inlovewithcharmers @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @matthew-gray-gubler-lover <3

[reidalert]

spencer is for the girlies who want a cutesy nerdy boy who will beg for you

& hotch is for the girlies who want a cold yet caring man who will make you beg for him

[halfwayhearted]

There Beneath — Spencer Reid.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: In which everyone but you forgot his 30th birthday.

Word Count: 875+

Disclaimer/s — Happy birthday to the nerd ever! ^_^ + sunshine!reader, fluff/comfort, and… yeah, beautiful!

A/N: Based off this request, ‘Hey pook! So spencer blurb or whatever and it’s based off the “you’re 29” “im 30” “we missed your birthday?” except reader didn’t. so back to his bday and maybe reader shows up at his apt with a thing of books she KNOWS he hasn’t read and tea and his favorite coffee and stuff. #fluff #ineedspencer #iloveu’! My layout messed up on the other one and I ended up deleting it! So.

Blank stare. “No way… we missed your birthday?”

All Spencer could do was stare right back and offer a small, awkward smile, averting his gaze. They had. They all had. Except for, well, you.

You’ve had his birthday marked on your calendar for months, and you’d be damned if you didn’t go all out for your best friend’s birthday. You spent half of September secretly and subtly finding out what Spencer Reid did throughout his… rare days at home. His answer every time was that he liked to read, play chess, go out for coffee, or watch his favorite show, ‘Doctor Who’. Okay! Okay, good.

So, with that being said, you did your utmost to grab all of the wrapped presents without fail. You did it, with a grunt and muttered curses, but you did it. Slamming your car door shut, you made your way up to his apartment. The familiar brown door coming into view made your heart quicken.

Stopping right in front of his place, you knocked with the front of your foot. You heard sounds of shuffling before his door swung open. Spencer’s expression shifting from confusion to surprise as he slowly said your name, his head tilting. “Hey… how are you? What are you doing here?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “It’s your birthday. Happy birthday!” A short pause. “Please grab your presents before they fall on the floor.”

With a small laugh, the brunette quickly moves to grab them. A sigh of relief escapes your lips as the weight is lifted. Stepping back, he sets them on his table, politely inviting you inside his house.

“So, am I the first one? Or did Penelope beat me to it. Actually, wait, don’t even answer that.”

Something you can’t quite identify crosses his features, and you instantly know you’ve said something wrong. That’s when it hits you, “No.”

Spencer immediately shrugs. “It’s fine! I’m not... hurt by it or anything. They’re just busy.”

You could’ve hugged him right then, but you refrain. Instead, you slip your hand into your tote bag and pull out a ‘Birthday Boy’ pin. His expression drops, making you laugh. “Come on!”

He remains silent, simply staring at you.

“I’ll wear the birthday hat if you wear the pin.”

His shoulders slump in defeat, and he nods, his eyes widening slightly when you instantly move toward him. Your bottom lip sinks between your teeth, clipping the pin onto his sweater, making sure not to poke him in the process. “There! How’s that? Did I poke you?”

Spencer shakes his head, too flushed to speak.

Without acknowledging it, you pull out the hat, carefully sliding it over your head. With a giddy glance up at him, you ask, “Do I look silly?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“What!” You stammer, “I’m being serious! Do I?”

“You look beautiful. What’s in these?” Smooth.

“Your gifts—wait! Sit down first,” you insisted, watching how he does exactly that. You clasp your hands together in clear anticipation.

Spencer purses his lips, staring at the various wrapped boxes in front of him, unsure of which one to open first. It wasn’t that hard…

Just pick one.

Grabbing the one with light blue wrapping paper, he tenderly rips it open. His eyes widen slightly at the sight of different books—all first editions.

“How did you—” he trails off, “How?”

“How did I know? I remember you talking about it one day, so, I did some digging and I finally found them. Do you like them? Let me know.”

He traces a single finger down the spine, his smile broadening. “A lot. Thank you so much. Wow.”

Your smile grows even brighter at the sight of his widening. “Hugs afterward, keep opening!”

More of your gifts are unveiled; among them are two boxes of his favorite tea, his preferred coffee, and even a bag of sugar added in. Humorous.

This had truly made his entire day. Or, to be more precise, you had made his entire day.

Once everything was opened, he stands up and slides his hands over your waist, interlocking them behind your back while yours move to wrap loosely around his neck. “You liked everything?”

“I loved them, thank you. Really. Thank you.”

You hummed softly, “Happy birthday, Spencer.”

He says nothing but nestle his head deeper into the crook of your neck.

After a couple more minutes of comfortable silence, you quietly inquired, “Movie marathon?”

“Please. I’ll make tea, you can pick the movie.”

“It’s your birthday!” You frowned, pulling away.

“My birthday or not, you’re my guest. Choose.”

Your frown doesn’t even seem to linger at that, a smile threatening to break out on your face. You let out a huff and walk into his living room. With a glance back, you notice how much happier he seems compared to when you had first arrived.

You were certain that you’d do this for him every year. After picking the movie, he sat down beside you and set both your cups of tea on the table.

If he was being honest, he’d let you. And maybe one day, you wouldn’t just be his best friend. Not with your head resting on his shoulder, like this was just another casual evening spent together.

What’s the harm in making this, you, permanent?

Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated ^_^.

DT(s) — @planetpedri ! ౨ৎ

[prettiestboyreid]

(im so sorry if this has been made before)

[venusbyline]

Oasis ࿐ྂ Kinktober. 01, oct.

— pairing: Spencer Reid x wife!reader

— type: smut, Kinktober (Criminal Minds Edition)

— kink: squirting + overstimulation

— summary: Spencer finds out another guy made you squirt in the past and it hits a nerve. You agree to try this with him, even after your husband's sudden childish behavior.

— word count: 4.3k

— tags/warnings: kinktober 1st day, female!reader, husband!Reid, squirting, overstimulation, arguing, mention of safeword (no use), fingering, oral sex (female receiving), curse words, light degradation, biting, body worship, no use of y/n. english is not my first language.

— tagging list: @thatredlipped-classic @magnoliatrees-world @ehedrick012110 @hotchsmutrecs @slutcakes00

— crossposting: AO3

Ever since Spencer had to stay away from Virginia for more than fifteen days solving an extremely urgent criminal case, you've been needy all the time. Your thoughts were in an ironical division between your concern for your husband's safety and well-being, but also the pure desperation and desire to be touched by him again as soon as he returned home.

And it didn't happen.

Unfortunately, Spencer arrived so tired the night before that he didn't even bother to reheat his dinner. After all, it wasn't your fault if he returned late and the lasagna was already cold. Spencer was never a husband who demanded you anything. Both of you cooked and took turns doing the other tasks... As any couple should do. Of course he never complained if you didn't make his lunch before work. It was the least a husband should do. And you two knew it.

So it was a big surprise when there were no welcome hugs and kisses, but just the rolling of his eyes when he noticed that you put his dish in the fridge due the lateness. A spoiled attitude coming from him, and you gave up the lecture because you supposed he was just exhausted and frustrated after the case he solved with the team.

However, that didn't last long. Spencer simply took his things to sleep in the guest room. That made you angry as hell. He couldn't be being such a petty brat over a damn cold dinner, right? Spencer wasn't like that.

It was only a few minutes before you followed Spencer into the other room, asking for an at least reasonable explanation for what was happening to him.

And your hope of ending the night of Spencer's return with a good sex was completely dashed due to the unexpected argument.

During the morning, you left the room still sleepy and grumpy by Spencer's behavior last night, but tried to focus on other things. You tried to distract yourself by making the breakfast, furrowed brow as you watched the eggs and bacon strips frying in the pan.

You turned the piece of meat to the other side when you realized that it was already a little fried, but you let out a sigh when you felt hands entwining around your waist, the recognition of the shaving lotion smell preventing you from screaming in fright.

"It smells great..." Spencer hummed with groggy voice from sleep, leaning over so he could be at your height and resting his chin on your shoulder. The compliment about the good scent he was also flowing almost escaped your lips, but you remained silent, ignoring his existence right there behind you. Even though you hated giving him the silent treatment, your pride was wounded and you needed to give him a taste of his own medicine. After all, he had been trying to ignore you all night, before the uncomfortable silence turned into a stupid fight.

Not getting any reaction made Spencer's heart to ache, and he sighed. "Honey, please... Talk to me. You know how much it hurts me not to talk to you."

You couldn't help but let out a mockery sound, without even looking at him back. "Seriously, Reid? Because I remember very well that you were planning to do exactly that shit last night."

Your accusation made Spencer let out a frustrated sigh, his hands letting go of your waist and taking a few steps away. For a moment, you thought he was angry too and going back to guest room or maybe the living room, but instead, you looked at him furiously as he turned off the flame of the stove.

"What the hell? I haven't finished cooking yet!" You exclaimed with a frown, not believing your husband's boldness.

"Yeah... I know." Spencer took a deep breath, looking at you with those puppy dog eyes. "You can finish later. I need to explain myself."

"Oh, so now you wanna explain yourself?" You scoffed. "Maybe if you had done that yesterday instead of treating me like trash or-"

Spencer cut you off, holding your shoulders gently but firmly enough to make you shut up and pay attention to what he needed to say.

"I'm so sorry, okay?" He began and one of your eyebrows rose in a nonverbal sarcasm sign. "I'm serious, honey. I was an asshole last night and-"

"Yes. You were." Your words came out colder than he was expecting and he swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. "You threw a lot of shit at me without me even knowing why we were fighting."

Spencer took another deep breath, trying to work up the courage to confess about what messed with his mind. He knew that nothing he said would justify his actions and that was making him anxious, his heart ached not only at the mere thought of you not forgiving his childish behavior, but also at the possibility of you keeping to avoid his touches and his attempts to talk.

Spencer let go of your shoulders, his hands coming down until they were intertwined with yours, even if your fingers were stiff at first.

"I was jealous..." The confession finally came in an embarrassed whisper.

A perplexity look appeared on your face. "Jealous? Of what?" You asked, trying to look him in the eyes, even though his face was tilted down, a few strands of hair hiding his flushed cheeks. When he didn't answer, you insisted, lightly touching his fingers that were still intertwined with yours. "Explain it to me, Spencie."

Your demand said by a less angry way made him whimper, needing to be honest. "Y-Yesterday, after the case, the team was at the BAU. JJ, Prentiss and Garcia were talking some personal stuff about their sex lives..." Spencer began. "I-I wasn't paying attention, logically, I swear. I was with Morgan and Hotch talking about random things, but my hearing accidentally picked up a certain topic of the talk between the girls and-"

"Spencie..." Your voice softer now that you noticed how he seemed embarrassed and stuttering like a little child, as well as he was also beating around the bush. "I know you're nervous, but you could try going straight to the point, please? I'm worried here too."

Spencer nodded, knowing you were right. "I accidentally heard JJ whispering to the girls that you already had a squirt." He murmured and it was your turn to get hot and rosy cheeks. You could imagine that JJ hadn't told your secret as a gossip, but rather to add some important information on the subject, but it still left you embarrassed. "But you never had a squirt with me..."

Your eyes widened with realization and you tried to work around the situation. "Baby..."

"Don't do that... Please. I know how it works, okay? I know that not every woman can squirt and I also know that those of you who can squirt don't necessarily do this often. I've also read that it's not always as pleasing for you as porn makes it seem-"

You cut him off. "So you also know that squirting doesn't always happen during a orgasm. It can also happen even without cumming. It's something individual for each woman, it's not like an exact rule."

Spencer huffed angrily. "I know, fuck. I know..." He grumbled, running a hand over his face. "I know how all this shit works. But it doesn't change anything."

"What doesn't change, Reid?" You exclaimed impatiently now.

"The fact that you hid this from me!" Spencer shouted and you immediately rolled your eyes. "Damn, don't you dare roll your eyes at me. You don't know how much hearing that behind my back hurt me."

"Retroactive jealousy? Really, Spencer? You know better than anyone this doesn't make any sense." You huffed, massaging your temples to avoid the huge urge to pick up that frying pan and hit your husband in the back of the head.

His jaw clenched when you mentioned that. "It's not... It's not just jealousy, much less the retroactive one." He was stubborn like a fucking child, the sight of Spencer crossing his arms to try to look more mature almost made you chuckle.

"Oh, I bet it is, and very immature too." The scoff escaped before you could think of something more gentle to say. "Fuck, Spencer. It's not like we share details about our past sex lives with each other. That would be really awkward and uncomfortable. I don't wanna know what you've done with other women in your past and I guess you don't wanna know what I've done in my past either."

Spencer kept his arms crossed, but his eyebrows shot up and his jaw clenched for the second time, a clear sign that he knew you were right, it was just hard to admit.

"Well, I really don't wanna hear about that old stuff, but this is important one..."

"Why on earth would this be important?"

"BECAUSE NOW I'M FEELING INSUFFICIENT!" Spencer uncrossing his arms as he looked at you with despair. "I feel like I'm not giving you enough pleasure! Now I feel like I've never given you a decent orgasm."

You felt your eyes widen again. It all still didn't make any sense, it was something completely irrational coming from Spencer. You knew that academically, Spencer was always a genius who knew about anything in the world, but when it was something regarding you or your relationship, he acted like any man, lost with most situations and also insecure at times.

"You're being ridiculous." You grumbled, trying to push past him before his hand closed around your wrist, keeping you firmly in place.

"I know. I know I'm being immature and irrational, but-"

"But what, Spencer? Jesus Christ, if you were trying to deal with jealousy, it would have been easier to have asked to fuck me last night or something."

His face flushed and he began to stutter, not knowing what to do other than let go of your arm.

After two minutes of awkward silence, Spencer tried to argue again. "That's not... That doesn't make sense. We can't solve our relationship problems by having sex..."

His hypocrisy made you roll your eyes. "Oh, sure. And fighting solved it?" You asked and he looked away, knowing you were right. Again. "Yesterday I was really desperate to have sex with you."

He lifted his head and looked at you, surprised. "You mean that?"

You laughed quietly due to the confusion in his face. "Yes, Spencie. You've been away from home for over a fortnight, do you really think I'm not fucking horny?"

Spencer stopped to think for a moment, scratching the back of his head and trying hard to find a solution to the stupid situation he created. "So can we... Can we try?"

You looked at him, thinking about denying it out of a tantrum, but you just sighed and then argued. "I don't know, Spencer... I'm not in the mood, but we can try just for learning purposes. More like a lesson than our real sex."

A guilt expression appeared on Spencer's face, along with a pang in his chest. The idea of you not even wanting to have real sex with him for now was torturous for him. He knew he had failed with you, being so immature to the point of making you lose your lust about the situation. But he could try to redeem himself. Even though it was a selfish thought at first, he was now determined to apologize properly.

"Yes... Yes, that sounds good..." He gave you a sad smile.

You lay down on the bed and put a pillow under your hip. Your pajamas were already thrown somewhere random on the floor, just like the pink cotton panties. You were ready to teach Spencer whatever he needed to learn.

There was no certainty that he would be able to make you squirt. You always had the best orgasms when Spencer was in charge of pleasuring you, but he was feeling less after the discovery that you had already squirted with the help of another man. A man who wasn't him.

Maybe hiding this fact from him hadn't been tbe wisest choice, even if you hadn't done it on purpose. You just didn't think that mentioning this situation or asking Spencer to try that would really be so important. Over the years, no man had given you half the pleasure that Spencer gave you on a daily basis, squirting or not.

"Well, let's do it." Your words came out emotionless as you parted your legs, giving him the perfect view of your still barely wet pussy.

"You're shaved..." Spencer frowned at your complete lack of pubic hair so suddenly. Or at least that's what he thought.

You rolled your eyes, impatience side by side with embarrassment, both eating you alive. "Like I said, I was desperate to fuck with you as soon as you got back from the case. So I decided to get a full wax beforehand."

At other times, Spencer would laugh hearing you confess so openly about your high desire for his body over the past few weeks. At other times, he would even tease you about needing a vibrator to help you achieve your release when he was away, even if you were more than capable of cumming with your own fingers.

But your hands didn't provide you the same ecstasy that Spencer's long thin fingers made you feel. And he knew it too.

You felt yourself holding your breath the moment Spencer took off his shirt to make himself more comfortable. As much as your pride told you to look away from his body, it was impossible for you to stop enjoying the view. Watching Spencer's bare skin was as addictive as the fresh water of an Oasis should be for thirsty people walking through deserts. And you couldn't lie... You were desperate to quench your thirst and taste him again after all that time away from each other.

Spencer knelt on the floor, carefully pulling your legs so that your lower body was closer to the edge of the bed, and automatically closer to his face.

"Are you okay, honey?" He asked with a cocky smile as he felt your thighs tingle as he touched them to adjust your position.

Hearing your husband's sarcastic smugness, you held back from punching him in the shoulder. "Yeah, I'm great." Your voice sounded angry and he chuckled softly, nodding his head and turning his attention to your center, which was finally starting to get wetter.

"I'm seeing..."

You ignored his mockery and looked at the ceiling, not wanting to exchange eye contact at that moment. Spencer's puppy eyes plus his mischievous smile were an almost fallen angel combination. Like a wolf in sheep's clothing or the Devil in disguise, just as Elvis Presley said in that song.

Spencer giggled as he ran his fingertips down your thighs, caressing your skin so gently that it felt like delightful torment. You fought to maintain an expression of indifference and boredom, but the goosebumps that passed through your body told him a different story.

Already knowing that not so soon you would give in and admit your lust, Spencer began to left kisses spread across the lower part of your thighs, enjoying the sound of your breathing becoming increasingly panting.

"What's the next step, professor? Your teaching method it's being too silent..." Spencer joked and you couldn't help but roll your eyes.

"Just... Just keep doing what you always do for now." You hummed with the last bit of patience you had left, grabbing the sheet to keep your hands out of Spencer's hair.

Another chuckle escaped Spencer's lips and he nodded, placing more soft kisses on your skin before moving closer to your pussy again, closing his eyes and inhaling the scent of your essence for a few seconds before leaving a quick delicate kiss on your bud. “F-fuck…” You squirmed slightly, your eyes widening at his unexpected action. "T-this is new..."

"I saw something like this while I was watching porn after our argument and I thought this might be good for you." Spencer confessed and you nodded with difficulty, a confirmation that the wished effect was occurring.

You looked at Spencer's cute face, but the eye contact lasted very little time, because as soon as Spencer's tongue began to tease your clit, your head arched back, more moans escaping as he held your legs firmly, not letting you give in to the normal human reaction of trying to deflect sudden pleasure. "Fuck... Why is this even better than usual?"

Spencer laughed again at the question you asked amidst the moaning session. He knew you were more touchy this time and he had an idea why. Probably due to the fact that both of you missed each other's bodies, as well as the fact that he was working hard as if it were actually a goal to be achieved, a prize to be won. But he wouldn't stop licking you to admit it. Deep down, he supposed that you were realizing that too.

"T-two fingers, Spencer! Put two fingers inside!" Your order left him a little disconcerted, since despite everything, he was used to putting in one finger at a time. As soon as he did what you demanded to him, he felt the walls of your pussy almost crushing his fingers, a desperate moan escaping your lips, fleshy and reddened from holding back the sounds that wanted to escape.

"Damn, honey... You're needy today." Spencer smirked, starting the movements more gently, wanting to enjoy the sight of you writhing around his fingers, begging for more. "You said it would just be a lesson, just a method to stop my stupid retroactive jealousy... But you're loving it, don't you?"

You just kept moaning. Even though the pleasure was obvious by the way your cheeks flushed and your hips rolled around Spencer's fingers. Pride prevented you from saying you were excited to make a mess on the sheets.

When Spencer interspersed the fingerfucking and his lips closing slightly around your clit, starting to suck gently, an immediate whimper left your lips. "F-fuck, do it again. Do it one more time, Spencie."

Spencer, the genius who learned too quickly, followed your commands like a good boy, sucking the swollen bud again, his fingers moving faster when he noticed how you eyes were rolling back in pleasure. It was a divine view. He could fuck you for hours, just as he could watch you cum for hours too.

He greedily licked away your first orgasm of the day, even though he knew it still wasn't enough. It still wasn't the goal you two were looking to achieve that morning. However, not only did Spencer never waste the opportunity to take in every drop of your sweet release, but he also knew that the first orgasm could make it easier to get closer to your potential squirt.

And to be honest, he might even be content with your normal orgasms, since you looked so beautiful when you came on his lips.

Your lungs burned for air as his breathing normalized, his heartbeat became faster and your vision readjusting to reality. When the white flashes disappeared, you look back at Spencer, who still has a cocky smile on his face, his fingers still working inside you.

"Honey, you're a very unfocused teacher." He mocked and the literal joke made you laugh, a weak, breathless sound, mixed with some sighs of pleasure that were impossible to you contain.

"Or maybe my dearest student's very diligent. Too much, actually." Your mockery made him laugh too. His lips moving closer to your intimacy again, but now focusing on nibbling the flesh of your thigh, speeding up his fingerfucking again. Even the smallest touch making you whimper, your pussy tightening from the overstimulation.

Spencer noticed this and bit your skin for the second time, now with a little more pressure, and you were sure you heard the neighbor from the next apartment knock on the wall to curse you for the sudden fucking loud moan in the middle of the morning. This only further increased Spencer's growing arousal and your need for more release. "Grumpy old woman." You mumbled about her, trying hard to hide the embarrassment that colored your cheeks.

"Oh, c'mon... Don't be shy, my dear wife." Spencer chuckled, licking your soft flesh before teasing your with his teeth again, but now just scraping them across your skin until he reached your core. You felt the moment when the central and lateral incisors brush against your clit. It was a soft act despite it taking a gasp from you due to the little pain. And then he did it again, returning to moving his fingers roughly.

When Spencer nibbled on your swollen clit, you almost screamed, but his free hand stopped you from moving away from him. “Relax, baby…” He purred, licking your sensitive pussy to redress for the pain he caused, his wet warm tongue matching perfectly with the bitter sting of his teeth returning to bit the same spot. It was so painful and hot...

“S-Spencie…” You whimpered as he blew on your slightly tortured clit. A rush of air so brief that you would barely feel it usually, but now, with your pussy burning in flames, the mere breeze of his sigh in that right spot made you shiver and squeeze his fingers tighter.

"It's okay, I'm feeling it, baby... I'm feeling your little pussy squeezing me. Are you gonna cum again? Will you be a good wife and wet my tongue with your cum?" Spencer practically growled, focusing back on fingering you, his fingers moving in and out of you at such a fast pace that the wet obscene noise joined your moans, filling the room like music to Spencer's ears.

The moment his tongue returned to licking your soaked folds, your body shook more than expected and you opened your mouth in a silent scream, your back writhing in Spencer's grip, arched and aching as the clear jets wetted your husband's face, a guttural groan escaping him as he opened his eyes to see you with your eyes closed and your legs shaking as he committed himself to drinking every drop from the fountain you provided.

Spencer didn't give you time to adjust to that non-routine orgasm. He took care of remaining with his head in the same position, between your thighs, licking your pussy as if it were the tastiest Oasis' water. Savoring the flavor, eyes closed as he concentrated on getting messy, not caring which part of his face he was rubbing against your warm cunt. Whether it was the lips, the nose, the chin... He rubbed every inch of his face, noticing how your moans became desperate again and you tried to push his head away, a mix of overstimulation and shyness.

Spencer always loved eating you out. However, nothing was like now. Nothing was like feeling eaten alive by a hungry lover, and at the same time so worshiped by him.

"J-Jesus... it's enough, Spencie. S-stop, please." You tried to push him away, enough to get a heavenly view of his face glistening due your juices, completely messed up and handsome like a angel.

But he looked up grinning like a devil. "Unless you want or need to say your safeword, then it's not enough and I'm not stopping now." He threatened, even though you two knew that the one word would stop him immediately.

Instead of answering him, you grabbed the back of Spencer's head closer to your already swollen pussy. He removed his fingers, focusing on letting you rub against his face. Every inch of the tip of his nose brushing against your folds was enough to make more pathetic whimpers come from you, plus a little liquid leaking out, now in light jets and low quantities.

You trembled, letting go of the back of his head and looking at him with your lip bleeding from biting so much. You wanted to say something, anything to say thank you, but Spencer had other plans. His fingers, still soaked from fucking your walls, began to return working on your clit. He smirked at your screams of pleasure, the tears streaming down your face... And he enjoyed every minute of all of this, exchanging his long fingers for his own palm, where the friction turned aggressiver, more painful, eliciting louder screams from you as he practically left your pussy raw, biting your thighs to create a mix of impressive actions whose only possible consequence was having you squirting into the palm of his hand, screaming like a whore. His little whore. Only his.

And when you did it, Spencer finally moved his arms away from your body. You sobbed, eyes closed and tears flowing. But he knew you were fine, especially when you let out a soft, weak and shy chuckle at just hearing the sound of him licking his own fingers so as not to waste any drop of your squirt.

"Was I better than your ex?" Spencer teased, pulling you to his chest, where he could caressing your hair and calm your tremors from all the orgasms he gave you.

Still with your eyes closed to try and calm down, you let out a scoff through your nose. He already understands how you feel, but that doesn't stop him from wanting you to say it, loud and clear. You nodded at his provocation and received a soft kiss on your forehead, while his hands snaked around your waist, getting closer to your tired and fragile body. "You're a very smart and diligent student." You managed to scoff and Spencer laughed, kissing your cheeks.

"Only because you're my favorite professor, honey."

Criminal Minds Edition - Masterlist

HOTD Edition - Masterlist

Venusbyline's Kinktober 2024 - Masterlist

[alexander-arcturus-black-lupin]

Kiss

Spencer leans over you as he gets your attention. He’s gone from a germaphobe to an affectionate lover. You cup his face in your hands and kiss him softly, you shift on the couch in case he wants to join you. He knees the couch as he sighs into the kiss, deepening it as he gets closer. He leans more into you pushing you lower into the furniture. He tries to put a hand behind you to stop him from crushing you but you stop him pulling him against you. He yelps giving your tongue access, you grin against him, his blush growing. His knees are on either side of you.

“Angel…” he mutters against your lips. “ M’heavy.”

“Don’t,” kiss. “Care.” kiss.

Spencer’s tongue seems to explore every crevice in your mouth, his hands running up and down your sides. He pulls you slightly into him before setting you back down again.

“Your neck.” he explains but you can hardly care.

You try to move out of the kiss, the need for oxygen winning but he whines and slots his lips back on yours. He’s breathless as he ruts into your leg, his hands sneakily going under your shirt. He reminded you of an animal going into heat.

“Spencer?” you break off the kiss again, turning your head for air.

“M’yeah, need you, need you really really bad, please.” he kisses down your neck still rutting into your leg. “Please, Please, Please.”

“Where do you need me?” even though the answer is glaringly obvious.

“Stop teasing.” he whined into the crook of your neck.

“Alright.” you chuckled. He looked up at you, his hair was a mess, his glass were so lopsided that you took them off for fear of them falling, his face was flushed and his eyes glossy, his lips were swollen and he was a complete mess. You could feel his ‘need’ evident in his pants.

“Use my leg.”

[friendoftashi]

all mine | spencer reid x reader (nsfw)

because your job required so much travel, you and spencer were well practiced in quiet sex. at first, when your relationship was just clandestine meetings in hotel rooms, it was out of necessity.

the first time hotch allowed the two of you to room together, he handed the keys over with a firm look and “behave yourselves,” muttered under his breath. spencer flushed and morgan whistled.

“thank you, sir. you won’t regret it, i promise.”

you cut your eyes at morgan, who quickly fell back in line for the elevator.

spencer pulled away from your feverish kisses, chuckling under uneven, rapid breaths.

“what?” you questioned him, his amusement contagious.

“it’s just… whenever i imagined the first time we were assigned to the same room, i expected to feel relief at not having to sneak around anymore. but really i’m even more aware of our coworkers in the next rooms over.”

your lips curl into a smirk as you bring your arms around his neck, staring up at him.

“i’m naked in your bed and you’re thinking about our coworkers?”

“i just,” he brings his hips back to yours, settling himself right when you need him, “i don’t like anyone else hearing your pretty noises. all for me,” he’s mumbling against your neck. “plus, we’d never hear the end of it from derek.”

you gasp out a laugh in response as his hands find your waist, squeezing their way down to your ass, the backs of your thighs, repositioning your hips slightly to meet his at the perfect angle. you groan together, and spencer is quickly smashing his mouth against yours to muffle the sound.

he’s everywhere, hands on your breasts, kissing the jut of your hip bones and pulling your panties to the side. as he tweaks a nipple between the fingers of his left hand, his right holds your leg up as his tongue dives between your folds. your back arches as your hand flies to cover your mouth. you know the routine.

he eats you out sloppily for a few minutes before surging back to your lips. without breaking the kiss, he’s reaching for the pillows above your head. immediately, you know what he wants. you flip onto your stomach, lift your hips in muscle memory. spencer settles one pillow under your hips, the other under your head. he pets your hair and leans down to peck your shoulder before shoving his boxers off. on nights when spencer is especially worked up, often still buzzing off the adrenaline of capturing a particularly difficult unsub, he wants you from behind. this way, your noises are muffled by the pillows, his against your neck, while he sinks onto you. faster and faster, until the bed begins to squeak and he has to change his pace.

he’s bucking into you slowly now, his chest flush with your back. with your hands intertwined, his lips against your ear, hes whispering, more to himself, over and over, “all mine.”

[mfxoxo]

I'm a slut for you, I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it.

I'm living on my knees, fuck me till I scream.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Decoy [S. R.]

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

word count: 6.9k

summary: when you go after an unsub who catches students making out, the unit is called upon to resort to desperate measures. Or in other words, where you and Spencer become the decoy to catch a voyeur.

warnings: +16. Making out, mentions of alcohol, mentions of violence, insinuation of smut, sexual tension

Do yourself a favor and imagine Spencer in these clothes during the case

You sighed, completely frustrated, while you looked for the thousandth time at the blackboard with some information from the profile that you had made for the criminal in this case.

You believed that the unsub was a Caucasian man between 30 and 35 years old, whose motive was to spy on and photograph university students who were escaping in their cars to make out at night, then force them to have sex in front of him and finally kill them cold-blooded. You imagined that he was a person with a mediocre job, that he felt insufficient, and that his voyeuristic behavior probably came from sexual frustration, something that could be corroborated by the violence that he inflicted on the genital area of the students whom he stalked using a knife, his mark on all homicides. You also believed that perhaps the rejection or abandonment of his last partner (preceded by a bad streak from his youth) due to his impotence had been the triggering event for all his repressed impulses to come to light.

All the psychological analysis was fine, it wasn't something you hadn't seen before, but the hard part of all this? Because he only threatened and killed people, he didn't rape them, at first it was almost impossible to tell who it was. He already had 20 victims in total and you weren't even close to catching him. In the last scene he had made the mistake of leaving a fingerprint and Garcia had been able to trace his true identity: Oliver Davis, a guy who fits the description perfectly. Unfortunately, this turned out to be useless because beyond the accusations of being a pervert, the man didn’t have much information that would give a clue to his whereabouts, you had even called the job that he had registered and all you had obtained was that he had several months without working there, which coincided with the beginning of the murders. After that Rossi suggested that he probably lived in a trailer (old, due to his lack of employment) where he developed the photographs and kept his trophies. That only made more sense when you thought that it would make it easier to transport or escape in case things got messy.

But words on paper and intelligent conclusions were of absolutely no use to you. You needed a plan to catch him.

"Do you have something, Reid?" Hotch had asked. You had already interviewed some students, you had set up guard duty to look for any suspicious behavior and you had even shared the photograph of the suspect in the media, but nothing had worked; The only thing left was to carry out the geographical profile to know the area in which he was attacking and thus be able to search for possible targets.

“I triangulated the locations we have of his previous homicides and I'm guessing he hits in this specific area,” he muttered, pointing to a space on the map he had on his blackboard with his middle finger. “Considering it's an area frequented by the age group due to its proximity to the universities and that it has several parks that the students told us they use to drink or go out as a couple”

"So what?" Morgan said from his spot. "We just wait until he kills someone else and hopefully we're near the scene to hear the screams?"

“Maybe we can ask the cops to patrol the area for the unsub's car,” JJ suggested.

“He's smart, there's a trailer park right here. It wouldn't be strange to find one on the streets as well.” Reid was visibly frustrated like everyone else and he ran a hand through his hair with some despair.

Your options were running out and frankly you couldn't think of anything else.

“And if we give him a target?” Emily murmured. Noticing that none of you said anything, she went on to explain her plan, “We ask police officers to send any young people they see around to home so we force our unsub to get close to who we want”

"And what are we going to do? Hire a couple of college kids to stalk them?”

“We can use our own team”

"Not to offend you, Prentiss, but we are no longer in the prime of youth"

"We don't, but Y/L/N and Reid do" when you heard your last name you were surprised, but when you heard your friend's you practically froze. First you looked at her and then at the doctor, whose gaze reflected the same stupefaction as you "You two are young, you might look like students"

"Are you saying you want to send us straight into the hands of a sexual predator?" you couldn't be offended, after all, those risks were part of the job, but you did feel somewhat reluctant about the idea.

“Do you have a better suggestion?”

“It doesn't sound so bad” Rossi murmured “It's a smart move”

“Besides, we would be watching around and we would intervene before that madman got close to you. Once we catch him, the photographs and personal items that he probably has in his trailer will be enough evidence, in addition to the fingerprint from the last crime scene” to your surprise, Derek was also pretty convinced of the plan that Emily had just devised.

"Reid, Y/L/N, would you guys be up for it?" Hotch exclaimed with his usual serious tone, looking at you and then at your partner.

Thinking objectively, the suggestion was very good. But thinking about it personally, you felt worried about the danger you two would be running into… oh, God. It wasn't until then that you realized that the plan to catch the suspect involved the two of you making out like a couple of hormonal college kids. 

You knew that the options that remained wouldn’t be as opportune as that and taking into account the temporary nature with which Oliver operated, in addition to the fact that he was already deteriorating as a murderer, it was most likely that he was already looking for new victims, so if you did that same night the chances of success were quite high. You were between a rock and a hard place and all you could do was look at him while the gazes of the rest of the room were divided between the two of you.

“I… I'll only do it if you say yes” you exclaimed in his direction, with a cautious voice and a fearful look. You knew your friend and you didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable in any way, even though you knew that both you and he knew that your personal interests would take precedence against the possibility that another couple of victims would lose their lives if you refused. It was your job, you had to do it. 

"Are you sure you guys are going to catch him before something happens?" Spencer asked your boss. You thought that with his background the last thing he wanted was to end up kidnapped or seriously injured again, even though the truth was that he was caring just as much about himself as he was about you. He had seen the photographs and knew that women were the most affected by the murder weapon… he didn't even want to imagine something like this happening to you.

"Of course. You will have communication with us and if something goes wrong we will get you out of there immediately" Aaron answered and your friend sighed nervously and then looked for your approval. You nodded slightly and he delivered the verdict, to which everyone agreed.

He was still standing, but after that he slumped into the nearest chair as he listened to everyone brainstorming ideas for setting up the scene, distributing the crew, and what they would tell the local police to do to make the decoy effective.

At some point you lost the whole point of the conversation, to start thinking about what was implied by what you were about to do.

The feeling of attraction for your co-worker had been latent in you for a couple of years, but you had never confessed it to anyone to avoid creating tension in the team or suffering the humiliation of certain rejection. Also, you knew that a crush meant distractions from what was truly important and you had tried, in vain, to eliminate it completely. But even if it hadn't completely gone, you had known how to control it, only allowing yourself to look at him with loving eyes from time to time and avoiding being too confident with him during group drinking outings. You even limited physical contact, not because you didn't like it but because you knew your greed would demand more and more of you until it became inevitable to beg for his touch. But now all that good work holding you back was screwed because in a few hours you would have to be passionately making out with him.

Still with the internal crisis, you raised your head to look at him and realized that he too had been submerged in his own tide of thoughts, which you hoped would be more positive than yours. At some point Spencer felt you watching him and when his eyes met yours he gave you that tight-lipped smile that was strangely comforting, to which you responded with the same gesture. After that it didn't take long for everyone to leave the room to fulfill their respective tasks, but you stayed seated because you honestly didn't feel enough energy to move. Besides, you had nothing entrusted to you, you were the bait.

"Hey, are you sure you're okay with this?" Spencer asked you, once everyone else had left. He looked so tired of everything, but at the same time there was a kind tone in his voice about him that made you smile.

“It's just kissing, Spence. I think we'll be fine" you assured him, trying to swallow all your embarrassment and nerves "And you?"

"I agree. I just hope we get lucky today or we'll just have to keep trying” 

"Reid, I need you to tell the cops what area we'll be in," Hotch interrupted you from the door. "You still have time to regret it," he added, looking at the two of you.

You immediately denied and after that Spencer withdrew from there in the company of Aaron. When you were about to drop you exhaled, completely concerned about the last thing your partner had said.

We will just have to keep trying. You didn't know if the idea excited you, or terrified you.

As night fell, Spencer drove the old pickup truck the unit had managed to rent for the two of you to drive into the park, with you in the passenger seat and a six-pack of beer in the backseat.

Although you were sure that it would be cold, you had decided to wear shorts and a button-down shirt that you normally wore for work, but that you had adjusted to make it look more youthful. Spencer was wearing an outfit that Morgan had gotten for him from a department store, simple jeans with a rather baggy cotton shirt and some nice boots that you didn't know where he got from, since in Quantico you had never seen him wear anything like that.

Both of you had showered at the hotel (separately of course) and you had made sure to brush your teeth and put on a good amount of deodorant and perfume before getting in the car. You had paid special attention to your appearance, not because it was necessary, but because you wanted to look perfect for him. Even with all this, you were a nervous wreck next to him, not saying a word along the way and only soft music from the radio filling the air.

When you stopped, the two of you put your headphones on to the channel the team was supposed to be on, and Morgan answered in the affirmative.

"Remember, he doesn't have to see the communicator or your weapon," Rossi spoke, who was also in the van, along with Prentiss and Hotch. "García will be watching with the security cameras and he will warn us if the trailer is coming"

"And meanwhile what do we do?"

"Pretend to be a couple, sit on the tailgate and drink beer, laugh, I don't know"

“Did you ever run away like that in college?” you asked, directly at Reid.

“Do you remember that I was like 16 when I studied at the university, right? I wasn't even old enough to drive, much less a car" he muttered and you gave a short laugh "I guess you did"

“I was too busy being the best in the institution to even think about going out and making out with idiots,” you replied, proud of yourself for that. “I mean, it's not like you're an idiot, but they were. You're very smart," you rambled, still twiddling your fingers, "Hotch, you guys will tell us when we're going to start kissing, will you?"

“When the suspect approaches, yes”

"Okay, well... then we have to go out, huh?" you muttered to him as you reached for the beers and tried to open the door to get out. You turned, expecting to see Spencer do the same as you, but noticed that he had lingered in the car for a moment, checking himself in the mirror and applying his lips with chapstick.

My God, could that man make you more nervous?

When he finally caught up with you, you went to the back of the pickup, where you opened the tailgate to sit down with a little hop. Spencer was tall enough to keep up with you just by leaning over the edge, where you watched him cross his arms. You were silent for a few moments, listening to the sound of crickets and cars in the distance.

"Do you think it's a good idea to drink?"

"Only a little. I'm having a hard time thinking while sober, I don't want to ruin the little reasoning I have left” you exclaimed as a joke. Or maybe you weren't joking so much "Just empty a couple of cans and leave them on the floor so he'll think we're really drunk." Spencer was about to do what you said when you noticed an important detail and called him over to look at you "Come here, let me fix your hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"You're very well combed, it's not the image we expect" you carefully took his hand until it was close enough to pass the other through all his golden locks, messing them up enough to give him that relaxed touch that he should have. He looked so handsome, but not in the style of a fancy FBI agent but just like a young intellectual who went to parties and smoked weed “Like this. Perfect"

“Do you think we have to think of some backstory?” he asked and you looked at him with a frown. “You know, something about us. What degree are we studying, what are our names…”

"This is not a play"

"It's rude to eavesdrop on conversations, Prentiss," you said visibly annoyed, although looking at your partner that expression softened "As you wish, Spencer. Although being honest, I would say that you study… literature”

"Really?" he exclaimed with slight enthusiasm. You knew that his mother had been a teacher in the subject and you wondered if he had ever considered it.

“Morgan wasn’t wrong to choose those clothes for you. It suits you” you complimented him and Morgan whistled from the other end of the line. You felt like you were having too much fun for the situation you were in, but you needed to talk about something else to put off the reminder of what you had come to do for as long as possible. “I think you would have that hopeless philosopher/romantic vibe who flirts by whispering memorized poetry in your ear.”

“I actually know some good ones”

"Sure you do" you smiled gently, suppressing the thought of him sighing close to your neck at Bécquer "I'd probably study science or something."

"The unattainable scientist with whom the captain of the soccer team has a secret crush, but she is completely unaware"

"Where did you get that? From a 90s movie?

Spencer's laugh was one of your favorite sounds and today that was precisely not helping your situation. You felt intoxicated by how handsome he looked, like you'd discovered a side to him that no one else had, and the thought of kissing him made you tremble a little with anticipation.

“Do you want to share a beer?” he murmured, carefully opening the can and offering it to you first. You knew your partner wasn't the most enthusiastic about doing anything that involved germs, so it made you feel good that he took the lead. You took a big gulp of the drink to gather something of value and when it was his turn to drink he kept looking at you intently, you would even say that he seemed entranced.

You had made sure you were in a strategic position, with enough light for the unsub to see you and quite lonely, except for the patrol cars and the van that had been positioned at a safe distance.

“How does voyeurism develop?” you asked quietly, with genuine interest, as you shifted a bit to get closer to him.

“Voyeurism usually begins in adolescence and since during that age it is usually seen with greater tolerance, there are people who continue with these behaviors until adulthood. When voyeurism is pathological, they spend considerable time looking for opportunities to watch, often at the expense of not fulfilling important responsibilities in their lives, and people reach orgasm by masturbating during or after watching. Although if you think about it a bit, everyone is a bit of a voyeur."

"Why you said so?"

“Many men and women enjoy viewing pornography, which can be classified as voyeuristic behavior. It's not a worrying thing, but it's interesting to think about it” he explained, with those expressions on his face that he had every time he shared knowledge with you. He liked that about you, that you were always willing to listen to his data and statistics even at the most inopportune moments.

"I'm still a little scared that Oliver is trying to do something to us."

“I have my gun. If he tries to do something to you, I'll use it" you knew that killing the unsub was always the last option Reid considered, so you widened your eyes a little to show your surprise "All lives are worth, but when that life has already taken so many and it puts you at risk, I would not doubt it. You have nothing to worry about” he assured you and your heart warmed a little at feeling so protected.

"Do you know if Oliver attacks at a specific time?"

"No, he doesn’t. Just as we can be here for ten minutes, we can also be here all night."

You exhaled loudly, before taking another gulp of beer.

“Drink some, boy. I feel kind of selfish around here."

"I am nervous"

"And why do you think I'm drinking?" you exclaimed wryly, still holding out the can to him, and when he finally agreed he drank a little more than you expected “Have you ever…” you started to say, but suddenly remembered that literally the whole team was listening to you. If the answer was embarrassing, you didn't want to hear Morgan and Emily taunting you all week, so you covered your microphone for a moment and spoke again, but so quietly that only he could hear you. "I suppose you kissed someone, did you?"

"Yes," he said quickly and you sighed with relief. It comforted you a little to know that it wasn't his first kiss, because you didn't want him to have such a bad memory “Do I look so inexperienced?"

"No, that's not what I meant" you smiled "You're handsome, I know you've probably kissed a couple of girls"

"You don't need to tell lies, you know I'll kiss you anyway"

"But it's not a lie. I really think you're handsome" you confessed, gathering all the courage in you, while you smiled at him in the most serene way possible "And if we weren't literally waiting for a murderer, you know I'd be happy to do this with you"

"Smooch me?"

"Having this bad date attempt, Reid," you hissed, flushing red, as you slammed your palm into his forehead with just a little bit of force. Spencer seemed quite pleased that he made you nervous, rather than the other way around, so he grinned, “Though I think we should have brought food. I'm starving,” you pouted, swinging your dangling legs back and forth.

"That's not a picnic, Y/N"

You hated for a second that everyone was so intent on the conversation. A part of you wanted a moment alone with the brunette, even if it was in the midst of such a strange situation.

You began to talk pleasantly about things completely unrelated to the case for a couple of minutes, staying where you were, until Hotch's interruption made you jump a bit in place.

"Garcia intercepted an approaching trailer, get ready” your heart immediately sped up and you noticed him tense beside you, too, probably with the same thought flooding his head.

"Okay, come closer," you exclaimed, trying not to panic, as you spread your legs a little to allow the man to step into the space between. He wasted no time and just as you wrapped your hands around his shoulders you heard the sound of another car pulling up.

"Is that our unsub?"

"It is"

You were about to turn your head to peek when Reid grabbed your cheek and stopped you.

"He's smart. If you look at him, he'll realize it” he reminded you with a serious voice. You were so worried about everything that you were forgetting about your training “Okay, so I… Is it okay if I put my hands here?” he asked with a different tone, nervously placing both hands on your waist. You had always admired the size and anatomy of those hands, but until now you had not had the pleasure of feeling them on your body in this way.

“Tonight everything you do is fine. I promise"

"It would be a good time to start, he'll see you" Emily reminded you and you could only sigh shakily.

You two were adults, why were you so scared about kissing?

"Close your eyes" Spencer whispered to you, masking his nerves better than you "I'll kiss you, just close them," he asked you and you did.

You felt his body lean against you a little until his chest almost touched yours and then his lips shakily pressed against yours. You would always remember your first kiss, which in essence was such a brief caress that you didn't even know if it could be counted as one, the one where he wordlessly asked your permission to explore your mouth. Still with your eyes closed, you pulled him by the neck towards you and started a new kiss, a little more confident and deep this time, allowing you to savor the beer mixed with strawberries and that strange flavor that each person has.

“We…” you started to say, once you separated “you have to do it slowly, what he wants is a show” you exclaimed. Spencer felt unable to say any words and your hands caressing him so deliciously wasn't helping at all “Slow,” you repeated.

You arched your back a little to get even closer and when you finally looked up you met his caramel eyes. You needed a moment to recover and you unconsciously licked your lips, as if you needed to pick up and savor his presence in your mouth again, something that didn’t go unnoticed by his attentive look at your movements. 

It didn't take long for you to give up, as beginning the third kiss you felt that you no longer had any control over your body, your heart, or your mind. And while it was true that neither of you were experts on the subject, you guys managed pretty well as the seconds ticked by. Spencer gasped as he simultaneously felt you pull the hair from his neck and caress his lips with the tip of your tongue, while you were taken by surprise when his hands left your waist and lowered to the height of your hip, where his thumbs gripped firmly on the clip of your shorts.

There was a kiss, then another and another; they became too many to count. You didn't want to touch him anywhere and at the same time you wanted to touch him completely, in the grip of the fantasy that this was real and not just a performance. And even if you were aware that it was all fake, that would probably only have encouraged you to enjoy something to the fullest that you knew would never come back. Amid everything you didn’t know which of the two situations would be worse.

The sound of your lips colliding became so obscene that you were embarrassed, but you had no plan to stop. Your hands slid gently down the length of his neck until you reached his chest and cupped the soft cotton of his garment in your fists to make sure he didn't move away from you. The heat of the moment just went up and up, but a voice on the intercom brought you back with a jolt.

“He started the trailer. He's going to go"

Spencer closed his eyes in frustration, and you sighed. From the position he was in it wasn’t possible to get around him without being seen, so keeping all his attention was on you and him.

Maybe you weren't doing it right? You wondered what the hell this man wanted to see if you were practically eating each other, but suddenly you remembered that his motivation was even more sexual than a couple of wet kisses. Maybe he was getting bored because he needed to see that you were about to… well, do it.

"Take off my shirt," you said immediately, still too close to his swollen lips and looking right into eyes that seemed to be pitch black.

"Take... what?"

"Take off my shirt" you repeated, with a tone that made the man shudder completely. With the hands that were still holding his shirt you pulled him to you and he held his breath “And kiss me better. Like you really want me"

But Spencer didn't need to pretend that he wanted you. 

He made you completely dizzy when he began to kiss you so hungrily and you managed to keep enough composure when you felt one of his warm hands travel under your blouse, limiting yourself to letting out sighs that were drowned against his lips. But what finally caused you to let out an indiscreet and unwelcome moan was when he pulled you by the hip until you were on the edge of the tailgate and you could feel the growing bulge in his pants pressing against you. Spencer had almost managed to suppress his, but in the end, you having your own situation down there didn't help one bit. 

His trembling fingers fussed with the buttons on your shirt until it ended up somewhere on the floor at incredible speed, leaving you half-naked before him and the collection of FBI agents standing around. You might have been embarrassed if your brain could connect two coherent thoughts, but you'd lost that from the moment Dr. Reid first dared to kiss you.

You carefully guided his hands to the beginning of the curve of your breasts and now you both sighed in unison, feeling goosebumps on every inch of your skin. You pushed yourself forward just for the satisfaction of hearing that guttural sound again and your prayers were immediately answered, for it was enough for him to feel the slightest friction and he would go crazy. It was inappropriate to need him like that, but you couldn't help it.

Holding your lower back, he leaned over you and at the same time pulled you towards him until your breasts collided with his chest. In that position, your neck was exposed and your partner’s hot lips didn't hesitate to go down there, while you sighed agitated just at the height of his ear. Spencer asked you, between each kiss, to look in the direction of the trailer to see if he was still there and as you could you answered yes, which was victory enough for both of you.

As he could, he maneuvered to lay you down carefully on the cold metal of the truck without stopping kissing your neck, and by inertia you wrapped both legs over his hip. When you were hidden by the panels of the pickup he finally looked at you.

"I hope it's enough to get his attention," he said, sounding as agitated as expected, and although the circumstances meant that you two would be taking a break you flatly refused, pulling him back to kiss him.

That kiss did take Spencer by surprise and it was perhaps the sincerest of the night. It wasn’t as passionate as the previous ones, but rather it was loaded with softness and you would even say that a hint of supplication. You were begging for him not to stop, for the night to get stuck in an infinite loop where the two of you could kiss for eternity. And suddenly you felt how he, who had been so tense the whole time, completely relaxed against you, as if he understood exactly what you wanted to say. His hands came to rest on the sides of your head to be able to kiss you more comfortably and you dared to take him by the waist with the same care that you were kissing him, feeling even above the cloth the softness of his skin. 

And then he broke up with you. You feared you had done something wrong due to the suddenness of the movement and your frightened eyes searched his gaze for a sign of the reason, without finding anything. He just looked at you with something you couldn't describe, but that made you feel butterflies fluttering all over your stomach... and he stayed like that for a few seconds: just looking at you, as if he wanted to memorize all your features.

You opened your mouth to say something, but your words were drowned in a new kiss, totally different from the previous ones. Spencer was taking time with him, trapping your lower lip between his and sucking on it gently, pressing himself a little more against your body, sighing heavily into your mouth.

Your hand was already running up his side to make its way to his cheek just as screams filled the silence and you hugged him reflexively. The screams had come from Morgan, who had already moved across the park to take down the unsub and was now wrestling with him to get the knife out of his hand. Spencer hesitated for a moment if he should come over to help, but he preferred to hold you better against his body to protect you and wait for Emily to place the handcuffs on the man under her partner's knee.

From a distance you saw that he only brought with him, in addition to the knife, his camera, and a small backpack with some other murderous instruments that they managed to confiscate without any problem.

"All clear, we've got him," Hotch spoke over the radio. As you exhaled in relief too many emotions washed over you, combined with the adrenaline coursing through your body and the arousal still flowing into your crotch.

"Are you okay?" Reid's gentle voice called to you, as he pulled away to check with his eyes that everything was in order. His hair was messy and his lips were so swollen that it was almost painful to look at the image without launching yourself to kiss him again "My God, your shirt..." he said, completely embarrassed, as he bent down to pick up the garment. You looked him up and down and blushed when you noticed how tight his pants were, feeling your stomach turn a little. When he got up, he took the opportunity to look at your chest covered only by the black lace bra and a big gulp of saliva went down his throat.

You thanked him quietly and put your shirt back on, feeling the sneaky glances Spencer was giving you, just before Hotch walked up to you.

"How are you?"

"Very good, excellent" you stammered.

You could perfectly feel your swollen lips, the light sheen of sweat on your face, the heat flowing from all the places Reid's fingers had been, and the abundant moisture between your crossed legs.

After Hotch congratulated you on your performance, the two of you walked as best you could toward the rest of the agents, who were already placing Oliver on patrol. Another group was analyzing the trailer and they managed to pull out enough evidence about the murders that would be very useful in prosecuting the man.

"All good?" Emily asked in your direction, once things had settled down and the rest of the team had gathered in a circle by the van. You and Spencer just nodded at the question.

“I honestly think I'm going to need therapy after what I heard,” Dave murmured, so serious that you couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"Don't you even dare make fun of this"

“No, we won't. I'm just saying you guys seemed to be enjoying it there."

"That's supposed to be the plan, right?" Spencer said nervously, finally daring to look at you and looking away almost immediately as he smoothed his hair back.

Once your boss said you could retire you escaped in a patrol car as fast as you could, wanting to get home so you could take a cold shower and soothe what wasn’t satisfied by the man. You could hardly sleep that night, still haunted by the ghost of the kisses you received from your gorgeous coworker, and the next morning you hoped that double coffee would do the trick. But apparently you weren't the only one who thought so, because at the same time that you arrived Spencer Reid crossed your path.

"Hey," he said, in that high-pitched voice that came out when someone caught him off guard, "How are you?" 

"Fine, and you?"

"Fine too"

You knew that the two of you wanted to talk about what happened, but it only took one of you to have the courage to speak first. At the same time your phones rang indicating a message and you mistakenly assumed that it was JJ contacting you to announce a case. What was your surprise when you opened the file and found a collection of photos from the night before. You knew from Spencer's face that he had received the same thing.

"Garcia did you… did she send you the same evidence?"

"That's right," he said nervously. You had to admit that if Oliver had one quality it was that of a photographer: you were sensual and perfectly captured the desire that had existed between you. Well, the one you had pretended to feel… right?

Spencer held his breath as he came to a picture of you topless in which his hand was practically on your breast, immediately remembering how that had felt. He just hoped his memories didn't affect him too much or it would be embarrassing enough to walk into the boardroom with a boner.

"They're good," you said to the air and he suppressed a laugh "But I can delete them if that makes you feel uncomfortable"

“No, no, I… I think I want to keep them too. After all, the bureau will have them in the files as evidence of the case, I prefer to have access too”

"I just hope she doesn't send them to anyone else, I wouldn't want to see my bra photos going around."

“I'll tell Garcia, don't worry,” Spencer murmured, rushing to type something on his phone.

While you waited for him to type you took another look, feeling your whole body heating up again at the memories. A part of you was grateful to have such material in your custody.

"I never thought of being the protagonist of an erotic photo session and here we are," you said ironically.

“Speaking of which…” Spencer started to say, “Not the erotic sessions by any means, don't think I'm planning on inviting you to one or that, because it would be super weird and inappropriate, but I was thinking if… huh…”

“Sell them online? I thought so too, but it depends on how much profit there is. Garcia can help us find the highest bidder and not get charged for tampering with evidence."

"What? No!" he said, completely shocked, and you laughed because you got the reaction you expected with your joke "Why would we do that?"

“Just kidding, Reid. Those photos are something I prefer to keep to myself" you clarified and your smile made him feel shy "Seriously, sorry for interrupting you. What did you want to tell me?"

"What…? huh, yes, right. It's just that this morning I was thinking about what you said yesterday, about how under normal circumstances you would have liked to have a bad date with me, right? and it just kept spinning in my head, so I was asking if you wanted to go for a drink sometime. Not like a date, of course, I'm not saying it is if you don't want to. I can just be like… well, go get a drink. As friends"

Yesterday Spencer had practically eaten your mouth and now he was nervous about asking you out. So adorable.

“You're not doing this just as compensation, are you? because you know that it is not necessary…”

“I do it because I want to. And I want to believe that… that I didn't misunderstand what happened yesterday."

You no longer even cared that it was unethical to date team members, or that if things went wrong, you would probably go into the worst of depressions. What mattered to you was that Spencer was interested in you, even if he had implied it, and that he was asking you out alone with him. Just the two of you, with fun and alcohol involved, without gossipy colleagues or mortal danger.

"Then I'd love to, Reid."

“Wow, excellent then” he smiled, feeling lucky that you agreed “I know a great bar near here, the atmosphere is generally calm, I like it because they don't play loud music. What day is right for you?"

“I'm available any day you want” you responded genuinely, grinning from ear to ear just being around him. That was the effect Reid had on you.

It was stupid to try to deny that you were still attracted to him, especially since now you had a taste of what he could do with you. You wanted to kiss him again, of course, but you were also anxious to earn that completely adoring look you'd received the night before.

“Today?”

"Yeah, why wait?" you responded, more excited than you wanted.

“Hey, I didn't ask you, but I wanted to know if I didn't go overboard with you last night. I mean… did something bother you?”

It was a smart move, you could see it clearly. It was obvious that Spencer cared about you, but you also picked up on his intentions to find out if you were interested in him too. Well, that's how it was from your perspective, because that probably would have been your motivation being in his place.

Even if it wasn't the case, you weren't going to miss the opportunity to take a little advantage of the situation.

"The kisses on the neck were something he definitely didn't expect, but they weren't unpleasant at all," you assured him, feeling your cheeks heat up again. "Did it feel good to you?"

"It did"

"So everything's perfect," you murmured, shrugging off the matter. But you both knew you couldn't see each other in the office and acted as if nothing had happened.

Something had happened. Those kisses had only fueled the tension that had always existed between you but that you wanted to ignore.

"Do you want to go after work, then?"

“Sounds good to me”

Spencer gave you one last smile and then went to prepare his usual cup of sugar with a dash of coffee. All day you were thinking about him and more than once he caught you looking at him, but you didn't even care.

So, at nightfall, with a few drinks on you and more courage in your body, you finally confessed that kissing was something you had wanted to do for a long time. You almost didn't believe it at first, coming from him, but when you finally accepted it, it wasn't hard at all to rush at him and kiss him feverishly. And this time there did not impede for you to give free rein to your desires, which led you to the soft mattress in your friend's house and kept you awake until a few hours before dawn.

[velvetwilde]

Both. At the same time.

[wrenreid]

Just Acting

i thought this gif was funny💀

Chapter Nineteen

You've been back home for a couple days now. It's been nice to be able to relax and be away from the LA noise. Sure, Philly's pretty big, but it's different from the angel city's chaos. And of course you love filming the show, but it feels good to have a break.

Basically all you've done since you got to PA is watch movies with your family, try to cook with your mom, text with Jess, and sleep.

You miss your little routine of talking to Jess almost every morning while you get your coffee, but being home with the cold weather and your family and the fireplace in the living room is comforting. LA weather in the winter is strange; it's either chilly or still hot. It wouldn't feel much like Christmas if you were still there.

Your phone rings as you get ready to go shopping with your sister. "Hello-"

"Just friends huh?" A deep voice says in your ear.

"What?"

"Just friends. That's what you think we are?" Matthew asks and you can practically see his obnoxiously attractive head tilt.

"You watched the interview,” you say, pointing out the obvious.

"Yeah."

"What was I supposed to say, Matthew? That we're friends with benefits or some shit? Look, it was cool while it lasted, but I can't do this anymore. I'd rather have a real relationship with someone who actually cares for me than whatever the hell we're doing here."

"Y/n-"

"Be mad at me all you want, but we're not twenty. This was doomed from the start anyway." You hang up, setting your phone on the bed not so gently. You sigh audibly, dropping your body to the bed too.

"Y/n, hurry up!" Lola says from the bathroom in between both of your bedrooms.

You get up reluctantly and finish putting on your sweater. You're wearing an off-white sweater that's perfect for the cold weather, black jeans, and cute boots. You leave your hair down and natural and put on a smallish amount of makeup.

After you're done getting ready, you meet Lola downstairs and grab your mom's car keys. "I'm driving, I don't trust you downtown."

"Rude. I've been driving for 2 years."

"Yeah um compared to my 18, I think I'm good driving.”

The two of you go to the mall downtown to get Christmas gifts. You both get gifts for your parents and other people. You decide to get everyone on the cast small presents and you plan to make cookies for the crew members when you get back to Los Angeles. Lola and you split up to shop for each other.

You're not entirely sure what you get your sister since you haven't been around much lately to know what she's into.

You go to a few places before finally finding something she may like. You got her a new pair of airpods and a digital picture frame for her college dorm. When you get home, you plan to put pictures of you and Lola, her and her friends, and your family in there. It'll be good for her to not have to bring frames to college. Hopefully Lola will appreciate it.

You don't plan on telling her about what just happened on the phone with Matthew. You're not even completely sure what happened. Why was he upset that you said you guys were just friends? Sure you slept together a few times, but you weren't like a couple. Not at all. He's a childish, mood-changing actor who just wanted you for sex. Maybe that's all that you wanted him for too. It's over now, so it doesn’t matter.

Whatever type of stupid childish thing the two of you had going is gone. You're not getting any younger, and maybe you aren't ready to settle down, but you sure as hell aren't going to continue a friends with benefits relationship, and with your coworker at that. It was a childish decision that neither of you should've made.

Why does it feel like I lost a friend?

Could you really consider him a friend? You guys fought and butted heads all the time. But recently, you’ve had a strange understanding with him.

You shake the thoughts of Matthew out of your head and get back into the car with your sister and the things you bought.

At home, you both hide the presents in your rooms and head downstairs to watch another Christmas movie with your parents. Your mom is forcing you guys to watch a Hallmark movie. You've never liked the corny unrealisticness of every single Hallmark movie. Especially the Christmas ones.

You sit through it though for your mom's sake. Lola pops some popcorn and you share a bowl while curled up on the couch with a blanket.

A part of you wishes you could stay home forever. See your sister every day and be with your parents. But Lola's going off to college this fall and your dad won't stay quiet about his opinions for long. And you're working on the biggest and best project you've ever done and may ever do in your life.

When the movie's over, you head up to your room and lay in bed. You stay awake for a bit, staring at the ceiling of your childhood bedroom.

You wake up to the sound of distant talking coming from downstairs. You get up and head down to the kitchen. The smell of syrup and bacon hits your nose, causing your stomach to growl a bit. You see your dad putting cooked bacon on plates that are already full with pancakes and eggs. Your mom is at the other counter, pouring a mug of coffee.

"Merry Christmas... Eve."

You smile at your mother, and Dad hands you two plates of food to set at yours and Lola's spots at the dining table. Lola comes down soon after and pours herself a cup of coffee, still half asleep.

It was always a tradition for you guys to eat breakfast together on Christmas and Christmas Eve. Normally, you and Dad would cook it and your mom would decorate cookies with Lola to hand to neighbors and friends. But traditions change as time passes.

You sit down with your iced coffee and take a bite of your breakfast. You've always been more of a waffle person, but pancakes are good too. Your family doesn't talk much at breakfast since you literally just saw each other before you went to sleep.

It's Christmas Eve which means the agenda for today consists of hanging the last two ornaments on the tree (you and Lola get new ornaments every year from your parents) and preparing for tomorrow. You'll also be watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas (a tradition you started at the ripe age of 12) and going downtown to see the decorations.

After eating, your mom hands you and Lola little bags. "Okay go ahead and open them."

Your ornament is a miniature clapperboard. You smile. “Awh I love it! Thank you."

Lola's is the mascot of the university she is going to next year. Both of you hang them up, and then you all lounge around the house for a while.

Lola and your dad go grocery shopping so Mom can cook Christmas Dinner tomorrow. You always have a honey roasted ham, potatoes, vegetables, and some type of dessert.

"Merry Christmas guys!!" AJ texts on the cast group chat. A chain of Merry Christmases come from everyone.

When Lola gets back home, you and her hang out in her bedroom. She talked about this girl she met a few weeks ago and how she has a crush on her but is scared to make a move. Oh teenage problems. You sort of missed those.

"You've always been so bold, it's weird to see you unsure of yourself," you say.

"It's just that... well my gaydar definitely goes off with her, but what if I'm wrong?"

"Just talk to her. The worst that can happen is you lose a friend, and if that does, she wasn't worth it anyway,” you tell her honestly.

She nods. "You're right. When I see her next, I'll tell her how I feel."

A part of you always knew your sister wasn't straight, but you wanted to let her come out on her own terms. She told you she was bi before she told anyone else, five months before she even told your parents. Both of you weren't sure how they would take it, but their reaction wasn't bad. They know she's the same kid she's always been, and she's their daughter so they need to support her. It took a bit for them to accept it fully, but they came around.

You were happy that your baby sister got to be herself around your family, at least the three of you.

"So how's your love life? Still dry as hell?"

"Damn that hurt. Well other than what I told you, pretty much... accept that one guy I dated for like a month if that. He was just so... I don't know."

"Boring?"

"Yeah pretty much,” you nod.

“What about Matthew?”

You swallow. “I’m not getting into details of sex, because ew, and that’s all it was.”

As soon as the sun started to set, you all got ready to go downtown. You throw on a pair of black leggings, boots, and an oversized hoodie to beat the cold.

The decorations downtown were always super extra and pretty. Christmas lights were displayed in different designs and on different buildings throughout the area. You guys also always loved to see the rich peoples' decorations in their front yards. It's crazy what people spend their money on, but it makes for a good sight.

"Y/n?" You turn around to see your old friend from high school.

"Conner! Hey!" You give him a small hug.

"Wow, it's been years. How are you?"

"Doing pretty good. How about yourself, what have you been up to?” You ask.

"Me too. I just moved back here last summer to run Dad's business,” he says.

"Oh really? That's cool."

"Yeah. I heard you're a big LA star now, huh?" He bumped your shoulder.

You chuckle, blushing. “Something like that. Man, it’s been so long.”

"Yeah it has,” he nods. “Hey, do you want to catch up later, if you get the chance before you leave?"

"Yeah I'd like that," you smile. He gives you his new number and says goodbye. You catch up with your family again.

"Ooh new love interest alert," Lola said, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Oh shut up, we're just old friends catching up."

"Sure, sure."

At around 8:40pm, you and your family head home to get into your pajamas and watch the annual movie. You eat dinner on the couch while Dad pulls up How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Jim Carey’s version of course, on Netflix. This movie was one of your favorites as a kid and you still love it to this day.

You curl up with your sister on the couch, occasionally fighting over who gets more of the blanket.

chapter twenty

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @scarredelirium @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @preciousbabypeter @yazzyu @cynbx @r3idsp3ncer @1010lizz @tiredbut-here @skulzombiw @lena-1895 @eevee0722 @danis-stuff-is-here @kylakins88 @daydreamingqueen1 @regulus-black-223048 @virginmusicloverr36 @inlovewithcharmers @kylakins88 @f-me-reid @matthew-gray-gubler-lover <3

[annmaximoff18]

Spencer: did you know that pigs

Derek: no reid, no one wants to hear about pigs

Spencer: .....

Y/N: the pigs what?

Spencer: What?

Y/N: about the pigs, I want to listen to you

[reidrum]

wine or wine not | s.r

spencer reid x bau!reader

a/n: i think i love writing buildup to smut than actual smut, but i hope you guys like this lmk what you think. this was requested with the prompts "look at me when you come on my fingers" and "muttering compliments kissing down their body" and it was so much fun to write aaaaahh, my requests are open so please send more!!! guidelines in pinned <3

summary: you're hopelessly pining after spencer at a rossi party, and when you run into him in the kitchen when you're getting a refill and he asks if you want to explore the mansion with him, who are you to say no?

cw: 18+ minors dni pls, fingering, p in v, nipple play, soft!dom!spence, spencer being ridiculously hot its criminal, ooc penelope but it was for the plot, pining idiots, wine cellar sex wine cellar sex wine cellar sex, public sex, morgan and prentiss being dumb, rossi being a smug lil shit, a dumb ass title sorry i didn't know what else to name it lol

wc: 4.1k

★・・・・★・・・・★・・・・★・・・・★

these days rossi was always finding some reason to throw a party at his mansion. you’re not exactly sure what it was tonight, a birthday? an anniversary? regardless, you and the team appreciated the excuse to unwind, dress up, and have non murder related fun.

the sun is setting over the rolling hills the mansion is perched on, and you’re sat at a table with the girls— penelope, jj, and emily discussing penelope’s latest dating escapade. you’re trying hard to pay attention, you really are, but it proves to be difficult when you’re focused on the man showing magic tricks to the kids across the room.

you look on yearnfully as spencer pulls a coin from jack’s ear, all the kids are laughing and cheering and he has the biggest smile you’ve ever seen.

“hellooo?” penelope waves a hand in front of you dramatically, “i’m getting to the good part and you’re off in space!”

you jolt back to the present, “sorry pen, i’m listening i promise. so he shows up to your door with maple syrup and feathers?”

“YES, anyways so then he’s like i have a proposition for you…” penelope continues her story but you can’t help but zone out again. your eyes drift back to boy genius as he finishes another trick for little henry before rising up to his full height. it’s in that moment his eyes meet yours and softens as he offers you a small wave. 

you return the gesture back which causes the girls at your table to look in the same direction and they come to a glaring conclusion too quickly.

“ah, that’s why you’re not paying attention. too busy ogling mr. houdini over there.” jj remarks.

“i am not!” you scoff.

“oh you so are,” emily says, “when are you going to let yourself feel your heart’s full content.”

“first of all, i can’t stand you. second of all, it’s not worth it. he would never feel the same about me.” you say as emily rolls her eyes.

this time penelope interjected, “oh don’t be so cynical. you haven’t even tried how could you even know?”

but you did know. it’s not that spencer didn’t like you, he treated you the same as any team member, but that was just it. you wanted him to see you as more. during cases you would try to impress him or make breakthroughs in the hopes he would tell you ‘good job’. a couple times you brought him coffee when you got yours, just to hear him say your name and thanks. work conversations rarely seemed to move past small talk, but you’re a little sure that’s on your part because he just made you so nervous. and like, he’s a profiler. so you’re sure to some degree he knows how you feel, and it just makes you regress into your safe hole even further because you think he’s being nice by not acknowledging it and saving you the embarrassment.

the girls knew about your harbored crush for a month now, since the last bau drinks night you got a little too truthful during truth or dare. you were much younger in comparison to your colleagues, so they offered their sympathies at your unrequited love and tried to get you to come out more and let loose.

which is one of the reasons you’re sitting in rossi’s living room, wine glass in hand, as morgan recounts the craziest date hes ever been on. the other reason, which you wouldn’t admit to anyone, was so you could admire your (not) lover from an acceptable distance and not risk embarrassing yourself.

so here you are, two glasses deep, rising up from your spot on the floor telling everyone you’re going to get a refill. your heels click against the hardwood floors all the way to the kitchen where you just so luckily run into the (your) man of the hour.

“hi.”

you were looking down at your feet as you walked to the kitchen, your head snapping up to meet the voice, “hi spencer.” you said softly.

“if you’re looking for more wine, i think emily just grabbed the last bottle,” you must have outwardly deflated as he continued, “that bad out there?”

“only so much wine can get me through penelope’s sexcapades and derek’s crazy one night stands.” you joke.

he chuckles back, “oh i know, why do you think i’m hiding out in here?”

you laugh again before an uncomfortable yet strangely comfortable silence falls between you both. unknowingly you both take turns gazing at each other, indexing the others features as if this moment would be the only chance you got.

you’re about to take your loss and leave when spencer speaks up again, “you know, i wouldn’t put it past rossi to have a secret wine cellar somewhere.”

“honestly, you’re probably right. what kind of italian just runs out of wine.”

spencer pauses slightly before saying, “do you want to see if we can find it?”

you look at his eyes again and catch a glint of mischief? concern that you’re wine-less? whatever it is, you take the bait.

“i’m game.”

—

rossi’s mansion was humongous. it was well known that he was loaded from his years in the bureau and multiple book deals, but holy shit, the rooms just seemed never ending, and none of them were a wine cellar.

“i don’t know spence, i'm starting to lose hope, and debating to revoke rossi’s italian card.”

you’re both in one of the many studies and are about to leave to find another room, when spencer notices a smaller door next to the study. he slowly opens it and peaks inside to find a descending wooden staircase. he looks at you with a smirk, “i think we just found it.”

he holds the door open and gestures you to enter first, following shortly behind you as he shuts the door. he makes sure to check that it’ll still open even after it’s shut, and you both relax a little seeing it still unlock. you move down the stairs, gripping the handrail and praying you don’t trip over your heels and fall to an embarrassing demise.

spencer descends a step behind you, trying so hard not to let his eyes wander down your bare back to the curve of your hips. once he steps off you both go in opposite directions to explore. you take in the vast amount of shelves and wine racks, taking note of how it seems to be separated by year and by type. running your fingers over the labels, you’re intrigued by a shelf with the year you were born, and pause in front of it. you reach up to a shelf that is just a smidge taller than you, hoping to grab the neck of an old wine bottle.

even in your heels you’re struggling, attempting little hops to try and reach. you’re about to give up when you feel a warm hand on your right hip, while an outstretched arm on your left seamlessly grabs the bottle and brings it down to you, “careful sweetheart, don’t wanna break that pretty head of yours.” spencer says lowly.

excuse me, what the fuck did he just say.

you inspect the bottle he so kindly brought down for you, but it’s a futile effort. you can’t even remember why you wanted to see it. all you can think about is your hands clamming up, sending threats to the wine bottle it’s holding. your mind is fogging up fast, and you’re trying to order your brain to say something instead of going mute while he’s still an inch behind you. with his hand on your hip still.

“oh god,” you start shakily, “you scared me spence.” you angle your body to the left so you can attempt to show how unbothered you are and look at his face.

good save (not).

he’s staring down at you with a hint of a smirk on his lips, like he’s keeping a secret from you. his eyes are intently focused on you when he speaks again, “just didn’t want you to get hurt. s’all.”

with his close proximity, you’re sure he can hear your heart beating through both of your chests, hell it was so loud they could probably hear it upstairs. he’s still got you caged in front of him when he continues, “any particular reason for this bottle?”

“yeah no, i just, wanted to see what bottles of wine he had from the year i was born.” you answer, watching as spencer moves back to give you space when you turn to face him.

he nods, “did you know that wine is associated with the greek god dionysus?”

“no i didn’t, actually.”

“it’s really interesting,” he moves forward a tiny inch, “they call him the patron god of wine, but a lot of people often forget that he’s also the god of fertility and ecstasy.”

oh. “ecstasy?” you whisper confusingly.

“yes, he believes when you drink wine it gives you emotional and physical pleasure.”

“how does that even work?” you nervously laugh.

spencer reaches his arm above your head, never breaking eye contact, and grabs two wine glasses by their stems, “you wanna find out?”

with only so many words, you give another nod. he uncorks the bottle with ease and pours out two glasses, with his having a little less than yours, most likely due to his slow but steady return to drinking casually. clinking your glasses, you take a big gulp hoping it’ll satiate the building nerves. but you’re watching the way his fingers wrap around the glass, his veiny hand showing prominently and you’re unable to focus on anything else.

“you know, i’ve been running something of an observation the last few months.”

you take another small sip, starting to feel less nervous, “oh yeah, what about?”

“you.”

it took everything in you not to spit your drink out all over his suit. 

“me?”

he nods after another sip, “i’ve been watching you, and not in a creepy way i swear. but i’ve been keeping track of your habits; how you take your coffee, your tells when a case gets too much, things like that,”

that didn’t seem overtly terrible to you, you knew spencer was an observer of his environment, always seeking out patterns to aid his predictions. you’re about to speak when he cuts you off.

“i’ve also been noticing how you seem to change, when i’m in your presence.”

you feel like the sweat and nerves are just oozing out of you at this point, and he continues his verbal taunt.

“i’ve seen your breathing rate get faster,” he moves a step forward, “how your cheeks rise with the faintest red, kind of like right now,” another step forward, “and how you try to avoid looking directly at me because you think i’ll find out everything if you do.”

the room has to be at least a thousand degrees at this point, heart beating so fast it’s probably gone to the moon, and your brain just unable to have any coherent thoughts at the realization that maybe you weren’t as subtle as you thought.

he takes one final step to close the gap between you and delicately places two fingers on the pulse point of your neck, “i couldn’t figure out your heart rate from afar,” he pauses to count, “but now that i know it, i can come to my conclusion.”

the air in your lungs has all but escaped, nowhere to be found. “and wh- what is your conclusion d- doctor reid?” your voice betraying you by dripping with anticipation.

“that i make you nervous. do you agree? do i make you nervous?” he says while you feel the hot breath of his whispers ghosting on your lips.

your mouth opens to say something and then shuts, because what the hell are you supposed to say? any and all logic has left the room, but the last working neuron works to make an unthinkable conclusion of your own. there is no way.

spencer moves his fingers to grip your chin between them, guiding your face to look directly into his copper eyes, “i asked you a question angel, do i make you nervous?”

you’re cornered, “y- yes.”

“why’s that?”

“spencer..”

“is it because you’re thinking of me the same way i think i about you?” his thumb starts tracing the outline of your lower jaw. he’s pressed right up against your chest, his other arm covertly moving to snake around your waist. the way you lean in subconsciously towards him, paired with your silence is all the confirmation he needs.

the pad of his thumb traces your lower lip, dragging it downwards a little. there’s a hitch in his breath when his eyes flicker from your lips back up to meet your eyes again. he quietly mumbles, “can i?”

your eyes widen slightly, relishing in the way his arms are holding you firm and steady. this was about to really happen. you’d been pining after him all this time, believing you were destined for unrequited love. but as spencer stands in front of you, looking at you as if he’d been poisoned and the only antidote is your lips, you can’t help but wonder if there’s been a similar weight on his side that’s been holding him back too.

so you nod once again, and trust your voice this time, 

“yes.”

you’re fully expecting him to go into it full force, and kiss you like a man starved. but he lets the premonition bubble for a little longer as he so agonizingly leans down and closes the gap, teasing you with the ghost of his lips on yours without making contact. he waits a moment, and just as he predicted your subconscious betrays you again and you impatiently lean up in an attempt to meet your lips together. spencer can’t help but smile before he softly pressed himself against you.

the feeling of his mouth on yours is something you can only describe as cosmic, like a star exploding into a supernova, emitting a powerful and luminous show of energy. it’s all consuming, the light reaching every neuronal end of your body and electrifying it ten times over. your hands reach up to tangle in his curly hair and he lets out the faintest whimper, spurring you on to grab it more earnestly.

spencer loses all restraint. his hands begin furiously mapping out your body, running up and down your back, reaching down to grasp a handful of your ass. he moves his hands down further to grip your thighs, effortlessly lifting you to sit on the counter behind you. spencer slots himself between your legs and continues kissing you, his mouth marking a hot trail to your neck as he mutters between, “is this okay?”

“please don’t stop.” you moan softly.

his fingers move to deftly slide the straps of your dress off your shoulder, mirroring the movement on the other side while continuing to work his down your neck. he slides the dress far enough down to expose your chest, immediately taking the swollen nub into mouth and running circles around it with his tongue. you let out a sharp gasp at the sudden warmth, whimpers leaving your throat. he repeats the motion to the other one as you cradle his head closer in an attempt to keep him there, as if spencer had any plans of leaving.

he moves his mouth back up to meet yours again, in a lust filled attack sending shock waves straight to your core. you move your fingers to work the buttons of his dress shirt and spencer moves his hand further south and under the hem of your dress, something you don’t notice until his thumbs are rubbing circles onto the plush of your inner thighs. it makes you falter on his last button as he pushes your legs farther apart,  inches closer to where you desperately need him.

spencer looks directly into your eyes as his thumbs reach up to hook onto the side of your panties and slowly move them down your legs. he groans outwardly at the resistance caused by your slickness, “all this for me, baby?”

you’re rendered speechless watching spencer and his ministrations but he continues, “you are so goddamn beautiful, you know that?” his fingers are less than an inch away from your cunt, “i see you walk around the office in those tight pants, your hair and makeup all done, and those blouses jesus,” he reaches your entrance and dives in to collect your wetness, you brokenly moan as he begins to spread it all over. “couldn’t tell if you hated me for the longest time.”

“c- could never hate you.” you whine.

“i know baby,” he slides his middle finger into your hole, “just imagine the fun we could’ve had if we figured this out earlier. but it’s okay, we have all the time now.” he sets a steady rhythm before inserting his ring finger, actively working you towards a barreling orgasm.

“spencer, fuck, oh god.”

“you’re so fucking wet, bet you’re gonna come soon, right? gonna make a mess on my hand?” he baited.

you’re in shambles, one hand deathly squeezing onto one shoulder the other turning white from the grip you held on the counter. the moans won’t stop falling out of you, he works his fingers so skillfully within you it’s impossible to hold any resolve when he curves upwards and hits that spot.

your head tilts back, reeling from the intense pressure coil building inside you, the peak about to hit you any moment now. spencer uses his free hand to move your head back down, “look at me when you come on my fingers.”

that was all it took for the white hot to ravage through you, engulfing every sense and leaving you breathless. he continues moving his fingers through your orgasm, watching as you come back down to him. you don’t waste a second reaching for his belt to unfasten it, slipping your hand down to palm him through his boxers. he moans in your ear as he feels you slip inside, your small hand moving up and down, and getting impossibly harder when you take your hand back up to spit on it to then return to your movements.

you take the moment to lean into his neck and leave bites of your own, finding his sweet spot right behind his ear and sucking hard. spencer’s hands have taken a spot on your lower back beneath your dress, pressing so hard with his fingertips you know there’ll be evidence of this night tomorrow.

“spence..” you mutter in the crook in the neck.

“yeah baby?” he whispers back.

“can you fuck me now?”

he preens at your boldness, and wastes no time pulling his pants and boxers down enough to fully free himself. he pulls you closer to the edge of the counter before pulling his length out and giving it a few strokes. he lets it glide between your folds, gathering your wetness as lubricant as it hits your clit. both of you are panting hard realizing the anticipation has led to this moment. spencer positions himself at your entrance, never breaking eye contact with you, and watches your face drop into a perfect ‘oh’ as he pushes in.

spencer is absolutely wrecked as he hears your breathing pick up, reveling in the vice grip your cunt has on him. you’re no better above him as you’ve broken eye contact to stare at where the two of you connect, watching as he disappears into you and the feeling of being so full overtakes you and you’re letting out soft expletives. he bottoms out and stalls for a minute, waiting for you to signal that you’re okay for him to move. in the time he’s waiting, he takes a moment to really look at your face, how absolutely ruined you look, your cheeks are deeply flushed, hair flying in every direction, and he can’t help but tell you, “you look so pretty.”

your eyes soften as you gaze back at him and nod slightly, and he pulls back all the way to ease in again experimentally. once he hears you moan out loud at the movement, and feels you tighten even more around his cock, he loses any and all restraint he’d been holding onto this entire night.

his hips pick up the pace in harsh snaps to your core, sending ripples of pleasure all over you. your arms are wrapped around his neck attempting to pull him impossibly closer to you, “spencer…fuck…” you drawl with a whine.

“i got you baby, gonna take good care of you, promise,” he says back in between grunts. the sentiment causes you to squeeze on his cock again as he attempts to continue, “if you keep…fuck…keep squeezing me like that i’m n- not gonna last long.”

one hand in his hair and the other leaving dark red scratches on his back, you feel your second orgasm of the night hastily creep up on you. he can tell you’re close and quickens his pace as he thumbs your clit. you moan his name out once more before reaching your peak, feeling like your body is on fire as he continues to fuck you through it. 

spencer feels his own release building up, “wh- where should i..?”

“inside, i’m on the pill just please come inside me.”

it was more than enough for spencer’s movements to stutter as he released his hot load in you, groaning out loud as he finished.

he slows to a half, still hilted inside of you but softening post orgasm. you’re both breathing heavily as you look up at each other and take in the other’s fucked out faces. spencer presses a chaste kiss to your forehead before resting his own on it, “that was..”

“intense,” he quirks his eyebrows at you, “in a really really good way.” you add quickly.

he smiles down at you, “i wasn’t kidding, what i said earlier. i think about you an embarrassingly high amount each day. i’d love to take you out and make this a real thing.”

“yeah?” you gape incredulously, “thought i was the one embarrassing myself if you were able to notice all those things i did when you were near me.”

he laughs, “no, no it was endearing, definitely made it easier to be as forward as i was tonight knowing you wouldn’t freak out.”

you’re about to respond when you hear the door to the cellar open, you’re both hidden from view but know it’s only a matter of seconds before someone catches you. you both look at each other in panic as spencer pulls out of you, tucking himself back in and zipping up his pants. you grab your panties from the floor and begin to pull them up your legs when he notices his come dripping down your thighs. he swiftly gathers the release on his fingers and shoves it back inside you, causing you to let out a near pornographic moan as he pulls up your underwear all the way.

“did you guys hear that?” a voice sounding like emily said.

“see this is why i don’t do big houses like this, too many creepy ass noises.” morgan.

“mansion,” rossi corrects, “and for a couple of profilers, you both are stupid if you don’t know what that sound was.”

your eyes widen to match spencer’s, you’ve been caught.

“was it a mouse or something?”

“no more like, bunnies,” he joked with an innuendo, “come on, i found the bottle i was looking for, let the bunnies do their thing so they can leave and go home to do whatever it is bunnies do.”

“you’re a weird old man david…” emily muttered.

the door closes and you both let out a big breath, and burst into a fit of laughter, “how the hell are we gonna show our faces to him on monday?” you whine.

“that is a monday us problem,” he starts, “but right now, i think it’s time for me to take you home.” he winks.

two stuffed bunnies show up on yours and spencer’s desk on monday. you’re both redder than a tomato as rossi chuckles when he walks by. prentiss and morgan are still confused.