#Masaya would probably still need to travel a lot for his work but I think it’d be shorter stretches of time than the abroad program

[beans-and-shet]

"Welcome home, Aoyama-kun!"

Aka Masaya surprises Ichigo by completing his abroad program and coming home early.

[ninja-librarian]

Commission for @sapphirenova, a Jade/Jalapeno wedding! (What could  possibly go wrong?)

For info about commissions, click here!

“Is it too late to elope?” Jade whispered to Jalapeno behind her hand.

Jalapeno responded only with a glance.

“Yes, yes, I know they’ve worked hard, and that they’re being nice helping us, but, babe, look.” Jade gestured towards the scene before them in Café Mew Mew.

From behind the swinging doors that led to the kitchen, there was black smoke and the sound of Chile and Rin yelling at each other while Keiichiro tried to separate them.

Meanwhile, Cayenne and Mylo were staring in disbelief at the groomsmen’s tuxes that Kisshu was showing them.

But calling them tuxes was probably too generous.

After all, tuxes implied that the pants were not booty shorts and that they were not turquoise in color with had a glittery scale pattern on the back. In sequins, the booty shorts read ‘Best Merman’.

“Now, see, this is what they call a bold fashion statement,” Kisshu said, trying desperately hard to get Cayenne and Mylo to like the atrocity that poor Masaya had been roped into modeling. “A real trendsetter item.”

Meanwhile, Topaz was floating near the ceiling, yelling into a phone, “We said emerald green. Does sapphire blue look like emerald green to you? Why you—DID YOU PUT ME ON HOLD? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”

“THEY DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND THEY DON’T CARE, GIVE ME THE PHONE!” Mint yelled, jumping uselessly, trying to grab Topaz by the ankle. “AND THEY CAN’T HEAR YOU WHEN YOU’RE ON HOLD!”

Meanwhile, Pudding, Tart, Rozu, Shinji and Zen were wandering around, looking under and over just about anything and everything, only to periodically gather together and whisper frantically, their expressions becoming more and more panicked as seconds ticked.

Meanwhile, Ichigo, Homare, Bell, Pepper, Riri and Zakuro sat in a pile of flower petals and string.

“Well,” Bell said softly. “At least we have enough petals for the flower girl to throw.”

“But there isn’t a flower girl,” Pepper reminded her twin.

“Oh yeah.”

Meanwhile, behind Jade and Jalapeno, Lettuce was on her knees in the grass in front of the Café, yelling up at the sky, “OH GREAT GODDESSES OF CRAFTING, WHAT SIN HAVE I COMMITTED THAT YOU ABANDON ME IN MY GREATEST HOUR OF NEED?”

“Lettuce,” Pie said calmly and patiently. “Please come inside.”

“I NEED TO ATONE FOR MY CRAFTING SINS, PIE!”

“Lettuce, people are staring.”

Meanwhile, Kirin the dragon flew past, holding a jewelry box between her claws. The little dragon made eye-contact with Jade and Jalapeno, her wings batting in the air as she floated there, then silently, slowly, flew away.

Ryou took this moment to emerge from the basement, saying, “Hey, I’m done balancing the books, what can I do to—”

His words trailed off as he surveyed the chaos. He grimaced and slowly backed down the steps, saying,

“Oh, no, I forgot to, uh, carry a two, I’ll be back soon.”

Jalapeno looked back at Jade and nodded in agreement.

Yeah, they should have just eloped.

*****

In all fairness, when Jade and Jalapeno announced their engagement and celebrated with their friends and family on Earth, they had no idea that casually mentioning that they had no plans for a long engagement and wanted the ceremony to be on Earth would lead to total and utter chaos.

“Well then,” Jade’s mother said. “Why wait?”

“What do you mean?” Jade asked, frowning.

“If you’re planning on staying on Earth for only a week anyways, why not do it now?” She said. “It’d be difficult to plan while you’re on your travels. So, again, why wait?”

Jade glanced over at Jalapeno, who simply nodded.

“Alright then,” Jade said. “Let’s do it. Let’s get married this week, before we leave.”

“So you’re just going to elope?” Lettuce asked, a bit surprised. “Just like that?”

“I mean, yeah, might as well,” Jade said. “It’d be easy. All we need is a marriage license and find a priest to marry us. Everyone’s invited, it’ll be great.”

To everyone’s surprise, Topaz slammed her hands down on the table-top in front of her, jumping to her feet and said, “No. I have spent too long planning this wedding to let you two simply elope.”

“What?” Was the chorused confused response from around the room.

Topaz materialized a large pink binder into her hand, shoving it at Jade and Jalapeno. “I said, I’ve been planning this wedding too long for you two to just get a license and a priest and call it a day.”

“How long have you been doing this?” Cayenne asked, glancing at the binder that Jade was now flipping through. “Jalapeno proposed two days ago, and only got the ring a month ago.”

“Yes, so now we’re already six months behind schedule,” Topaz said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Topaz!” Ichigo groaned. “You can’t just plan other people’s weddings for them!”

“Is there not an entire profession with the title of ‘Wedding Planner’ that does exactly that?” Pie asked.

“Yes, but those people are hired to do that,” Zakuro pointed out. “Which Topaz was not.”

“Hmm, but I think I might hire her anyway,” Jade said, still flipping through the binder. “This is great. I think releasing a thousand Birds of Paradise might be a little much, but these flower crowns are super cute.”

“How about a compromise then?” Keiichiro suggested. “You’re staying here for a week. We plan for a wedding a week from today?”

Jade and Jalapeno glanced at each other and nodded.

“Sounds like a plan,” Jade said. “A week to put together an entire wedding. Let’s do it.”

*****

Kisshu and Masaya somehow ended up in charge of procuring tuxedos.

Masaya started to question this decision as Kisshu leaned against the counter of the men’s clothing shop and said, “Sir, we’d like three of your best tuxedos!”

“Yes, sir,” The man behind the counter said stiffly and formally, appraising Kisshu warily. Then he told Kisshu the price of each of their best tuxedos.

Kisshu’s winning smile dropped some. “That’s the total for the three suits?”

“No. A piece.”

Kisshu looked over at his shoulder at Masaya. “How much is our budget again?”

“Nowhere near that much,” Masaya confirmed.

Kisshu hesitated a moment then turned back to the man behind the counter and said, “Sir, we’d like your best suits that ten-thousand Yen can afford.”

“A piece?”

“Total would be preferable.”

There was a heavy sigh. “Yes sir.”

*****

“What—what are you doing?” Chile demanded, jaw clenched as Rin hovered near the stove. “Back away from my food.”

“It’s my kitchen, I can do what I want,” Rin retorted. “Besides, you just told me to add salt. And I did.”

“You put in too much salt.”

“No, I didn’t. You’re over-reacting.”

Chile inhaled deeply, then yelled, “YOU PUT SO MUCH SALT IN THE DISH, A PREIST WANTS TO USE IT TO EXORCISE A DEMON!”

As Keiichiro watched the argument begin, he couldn’t tell which mistake was worse: letting Chile and Rin share a kitchen when they were both so protective of their workspaces, or introducing Chile to Gordon Ramsey memes.

*****

Lettuce rubbed her hands together, slightly gleeful as she surveyed her supplies.

“These are going to be the best flower crowns ever,” She declared.

“They look kind of difficult to put together, though,” Pepper said warily, looking at the picture on Pinterest. “Are you sure we can make them look right?”

“Of course,” Lettuce said, starting to measure out string.

“Lettuce is the Queen of Pinterest,” Homare assured them. “If it’s a craft, Lettuce can make it.”

“And these are super easy,” Lettuce added with a snip of her scissors. “We’ll be done before you know it.”

She carefully took her needle and gently pushed it through the base of the flower…

Only for it to fall apart in her hands, petals scattering.

There was quiet for a moment, then Lettuce said, “The first… the first one is always the worst, you know?” She picked up another flower. “Don’t worry, it’ll go much smoother from here on out…”

*****

“Can you hold onto these for me?” Jalapeno asked, holding out the velvet jewelry box holding the wedding bands to Tart. “Kirin keeps trying to steal them and add them to her hoard.”

“Sure,” Tart said, accepting the small box. “I’m good at playing keep-away from small fire-breathing monsters.”

Two hours later…

“Rozu!” Tart said, grabbing his younger sister by the shoulders. “I need your help as a small fire-breather.”

Rozu narrowed her eyes. “Did you lose the rings?”

“I didn’t lose them, Kirin stole them and has added them to her hoard!”

“So you need me to be the one to steal it back?”

“No, I need you to help me find the right hoard. Considering she has several decoys.”

Rozu heaved a sigh and glared at her older brother. “One, you owe me. Big time. And two, we’re going to need a lot more help.”

Twenty minutes later, their team was gathered, a plan was made, each and every one had their assignments.

“Everyone have a firm grasp on their searching territory?” Rozu asked as confirmation.

“Yep, na no da!” Pudding proclaimed.

“Got it,” Shinji said. Zen nodded in agreement.

“Great, then let’s—” Tart started to say, but was cut off by a knock on the door.

Pudding opened the door. To everyone’s horror, Jade stood there.

“Hey, guys,” She said with a wave. “Tart, the rings—”

“Are totally and completely, one hundred percent safe!” He told her, rushing to the door, barring her entry. “Don’t worry about a thing!”

Jade frowned. “But I—”

“Not. A. Thing. Totally under control. You know what’s not under control? Uh, the, uh…” Tart looked over his shoulder, silently asking for help.

“The… cake topper?” Zen suggested.

“Yes, that’s right, the cake topper. It’s not under control,” Tart told Jade. “You better go sort that out, good-bye and good luck!”

With that, he closed the door in Jade’s face, everyone breathing a sigh of relief.

Jade blinked and looked down at the slightly chewed on, slightly claw-marked, definitely drooled on jewelry box that she had pried out of Kirin’s hoard underneath her bed.

She shrugged and walked away.

She’d just put it in a place for them to find later.

That really should have been her first sign that everything was, in fact, not under control.

*****

“We’re getting married in two days. Two days. And everything is a disaster.” Jade bemoaned, throwing herself dramatically across her bed.

“At least the temple is all set up nice and neat,” Bell told her future sister-in-law comfortingly. “Nothing can happen to mess that up.”

“You know what can fix this?” Ichigo said cheerfully.

“Unplugging Lettuce’s hot glue gun before it burns someone, na no da?” Pudding suggested.

“Has Pie gotten her to stop burning pieces of thread and yarn as sacrifices to the crafting goddesses yet?” Riri asked.

“Nope.” Came the response from around the room.

“Anyways, I was going to say some nice, relaxing, rom-coms will be a nice pick-me-up and distraction,” Ichigo said, turning on the TV.

Right onto the weather station.

Which was saying that the next three days were going to be full of pouring rain.

“Well, that’s… That’s going to put a slight damper on the outdoor wedding…” Homare whispered.

“Heh,” Pepper said, smirking slightly. “Damper.”

Jade put her hands over her face and groaned.

*****

Topaz inhaled sharply then said through gritted teeth, “This. Was. Not. In. The. Binder.”

The wedding planning crew, plus the bride and groom to be, sat around Café Mew Mew in the middle of the disaster zone, rain already starting to pound down.

“What are we going to do?” Pepper asked softly.

“We could see what the weather is like on Cynnth?” Rin suggested.

“No,” Jade and Jalapeno both said together, but Jalapeno’s was a little more forceful with a grimace.

“Half the reason for having the wedding here on Earth,” Jade explained. “Is to prevent, uh, some certain people from attending.”

“The only people I actually care about seeing me get married are already here in this room,” Jalapeno added.

“Right, so, no Cynnth,” Homare said. “There’s got to be a solution, then.”

“Ooh, ooh!” Bell said, throwing her hand into the air. “I’ve got an idea! We block out the rain!”

“How do you suggest we go about doing that, exactly?” Pie asked, mostly suspicious.

“A Chimera,” Bell said, eyes glittering. She threw her arms wide, nearly whacking Chile in the face as she did so. “A big one! With huge wings!”

“Like… a bird?” Shinji asked.

“No, the rain might still get through the feathers,” Zen said.

“Depends on the species of bird,” Masaya corrected. “Like, a duck or a goose might work. Because they have watertight feathers.”

“Or do something with leathery-like wings,” Pudding suggested. “Like a bat, na no da.”

“Ooh, a pterodactyl!” Kish said, rubbing his hands together. “What combination makes a good pterodactyl?”

“Well,” Pepper said, glancing across the table at Kirin, a slow smile creeping across her face. “A dragon, to start with.”

Kirin simply lifted her upper-lip to snarl at Pepper.

“Why is your go-to solution to make a Chimera instead of, I don’t know, finding an indoor venue?” Ryou asked.

“This is easier,” Bell pointed out with a shrug.

“It’s not, it’s really not,” Lettuce said, shaking her head.

“No Chimeras!” Jade declared, hitting her hand on the table. “Just no. We have enough going wrong to add in terrorizing the city with alien-animal hybrid monsters!” She looked at Mint. “Are there any indoor venues we could find at the very last second?”

“None that I know of,” Mint said.

“Well, that’s not true at all,” Ichigo said, grinning suddenly, eyes twinkling. “We have one venue that we know is one-hundred percent available. Especially for the wedding a previous employee.”

*****

The Café was magically transformed overnight. Beautiful flowery garlands hung around the room, with beautiful tulle bows and chairs in rows. There was not a hint of the chaos that reigned in the main room the day before, and everything gleamed and sparkled.

Jade stood at the entry to the kitchen, surveying the room. Lettuce placed a hand on Jade’s shoulder.

“I know it’s not what you planned…” She started to say.

Jade chuckled. “You mean what Topaz planned.”

“Well, you liked what she had planned. So I assumed…”

Jade took her cousin’s hands in both of hers, smiling. “Lettuce, this is more than I ever imagined. Having so many people working hard to make this day special… It’s perfect.”

Lettuce smiled. “As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”

“I’m marrying Jalapeno, the love of my life. That’s all that matters. That’s why I’m so happy. The decorations, the food, that’s all wonderful, yeah, but that’s what I’m most excited about.”

The two embraced, grinning and giggling and wiping away tears.

“Come on,” Lettuce said. “Let’s go get you dressed.”

*****

The ceremony, surprisingly, went off without a hitch, and in a few short moments Jade and Jalapeno were declared husband and wife to the sound of cheers and deafening applause. The chairs were pushed aside in favor of dancing, food, and congratulating the happy couple.

“I want to take you somewhere,” Jalapeno whispered in Jade’s ear sometime later. Jade smiled, allowing him to tug her hand, leading her towards the kitchen.

But as soon as the doors swung behind her, they were no longer in the Café. Jade smiled as she looked around the grounds of the shrine her family had taken care of for generations, the sound of rain pattering on the umbrella above her head.

She glanced at Jalapeno, who smiled faintly. “I know things did not work out in our favor to get married here, but I wanted you to still be able to come here today. And…” His pale cheeks flushed pink as he said, “And I wanted you for myself. For just a moment or two.”

Jade stood on her toes, pressing a kiss to the corner of Jalapeno’s mouth, the corner upturned with the smile.

“Thank you,” She whispered, squeezing his hand. “Let’s go take a walk around the garden.”

“We can take our time,” Jalapeno told her, wrapping an arm around her. “Mylo, Cayenne and Chile have their orders to distract everyone else for as long as possible.”

Jade leaned against him. “We’ve got all the time in the universe. The rest of our lives.”

Together. Forever.

[6-weeks-in-nicaragua]

11 Febrero

It’s been a minute–a lot has happened since las iglesias! I’m alive and well. Knock on wood but so far no explosive diarrhea, no homesickness, no lost passport, no funky encounters... todo bien!

A quick update and then I’m going to just throw a bunch of random experiences, thoughts, and pictures I’ve accumulated over the past 4 or so days cause I have no way of keeping track of it all–so many things happen every day...

UPDATE: Estoy solo en Nicaragua y estoy manejando.

Both Noel and Lorena have gone stateside temporarily. Everybody is okay - no se preocupen. This leaves me alone, but not entirely. A friend of Lorena’s, Noelia, is going to help take care of Toto and may, in fact, even stay in the house part-time or full-time. So we’re all good! Noel left a few days ago and I took Lorena to the airport today. If I remember, I’ll tell you about my first driving adventure later! Anyhow, things were a bit crazy as these plans were all being made–hence the lack of posting. So here we go...

LAS HORMIGAS

These ants live at the Choco Museum and I like them. What I don’t like are the zancudos (mosquitos). They seem to be getting worse with the drier/hotter weather. I’m not sure why but they’re lovin’ my ankles and shoulders. 

IT’S THE 1ST OF THE MONTH

On the first Monday of the month, there was an incredible line outside of the bank–the longest line I’ve seen in Nicaragua by far. It turns out that it’s all the retired people collecting their pension. 

EL PEREZOSO TUVO EXITO

En fin, yo aprendí que significa la phrase–Tener exito–to succeed. That’s my ‘word’ of the week along with Perezoso–both the adjective lazy and the word for a sloth. 

I stumbled upon this beautiful block. On the left is La Fortaleza, an old fort that may have future plans but, for the time being, is closed to the public although apparently some private/government soirees are thrown there too. I was mostly, however, drawn to those 4 casitas. Que linda, verdad?!

MASA

I had my first Nacatamal of the trip. This is a Nicaraguan tamale, but truly a league beyond a tamale. They’re typically made and consumed on weekends only. There’s a panadería nearby called Doña Haydee (?), y hace nacatamals de pollo y de cerdo. They are only available Fri-Sun until they run out. 

Arleen told me that they use fake masa here in Granada for their tortillas. No usan maza reál en Granada. Solo puede comprar en Masaya. En general, por allá la gente son más trabajadores, más creativo, y más educado. I think somebody might have a grudge against Granada folks... But I have now heard from multiple people that Masaya is indeed a culinary mecca for Nicaragua. We’d gone once but only to see the market, which is well known for its plethora of quality goods. Pues, vamos a comer en Masaya! 

LA EDUCACION

Arleen and I continue to discuss various issues. As we sat in the Cathedral and interpreted the new paintings on the ceiling (Noah’s Ark, Abraham and Isaac(?), Exodus, etc.), we shifted back to education. As she was talking about public and private schools, it sounded like she was arguing that there was little to no value in public school education–textbooks that are 20+ years old, lack of textbooks and other materials, etc. So I asked her if she’d rather not send her boy to school than to a public school. She laughed but agreed that for her, it was no choice. She and her husband (an engineer) do, and would, sacrifice what they would need to, in order to send him through private school. And even a private school is limited. She described the amount of work that parents (moms) have to do to supplement the school education. Ultimately, we agreed that she had a nearly full-time job of being a teacher to her son. She studies with him, draws up her own exercises for him and even her own exams. 

4:30pm is a really cool time to be out and about. All of the students are getting out of school and, with their uniforms, seemingly take over the streets. I wish I had a picture to share. 

WILLIAM WALKER

We also talked about William Walker. This is the umpteenth time I’ve heard William Walker but was never quite sure why. His name came up one night the guys were arguing about the political crisis. Now I have a vague understanding of why. Essentially, with his own army he marched down Central America, pillaging, pirating, and claiming ownership over land. He would take natural resources (e.g. stones, minerals) and sell them in Europe. This was in or around the 1850′s. And thus began the American involvement in Nicaragua. 

XALTEVA

The name of one of the local tribes was Xalteva. As we watched a couple groups of musicians and dancers performing traditional songs and dances (who are contracted by the Tourism office to perform when buses of tourists are scheduled to arrive via Costa Rica or Panama for the day), I asked if this was rooted in Xalteva culture. No. She said the folkart comes from colonial times and is a result of the mix of Inios, Españoles, y Afro-Carribeans. I am excited to read El Gueguense because I think I’ll have a better understanding of all this after. But in a nut shell, much of the traditional arts are rooted in the dissent of Colonialism–’secret’ songs and dances of empowerment that snuck through the eyes and ears of the Spanish imperialists. I think that’s incredible!

COST COMPARISON

As I prepare to be alone, I stopped by the Maxx Pali (a grocery outlet, more or less) and picked up some bare essentials. The Protex is a bar of oatmeal soap. The cereal was the healthiest I could find. And the silver plastic bag is known as chile. It’s spicy pickled chopped onions - by far the best condiment in the world! $15 total. Somehow they only charged me 1 córdoba (1/32.6 of a dollar) for the floss, I’m guessing that means it’s not a very popular product... 

DRIVING IN MANAGUA

That was the name of the first book I read about Nicaragua ahead of my first trip in 2015. It’s amazing and I highly recommend it, although the caveat is that it’s about a white guy living/traveling in Nicaragua written by the white guy himself. But his observations are quite acute and I easily relate to some of them. 

So my sense of direction proved helpful. I was able to navigate around town, to Managua, to the airport, back to Tia Karla’s house, back to Granada. BUT I NEARLY GOT CRUSHED BY A BUS! So Nicaragua prefers roundabouts to traffic signals. I have no problem with that. But there aren’t really any lanes so it’s a bit of a free-for-all. And it’s legal for one on the inside line to leave the roundabout, thus cutting off anyone on the outside. I was nervous about these and during our drive to Managua today, asked Lorena a million hypothetical questions. We went through a few to practice, and all was good. But I still imaged these hypothetical situations and didn’t understand how to avoid them.

So after giving myself a pat on the back for navigating from the airport, to Karla’s, and back to Calleterra Masaya (the hwy) - I was going through the roundabout to enter the highway. I was in the circle, thus establishing the right of way from cars not yet in the circle. I passed the first turn. I passed the second turn. And as I was nearing the third, a bus was approaching the circle at a high speed. Now, so far, I’ve learned to the key to a safe ride is to drive defensively in an aggressive manner. So I dared not stop in the middle of the circle. I held my breath and continued past the 3rd street as the bus entered the circle. It was now my turn to bear right out of the circle and I needed to cut off the bus (but it’s not cutting off, I have the right of way). So I kept on holding my breath and zoomed by with the bus zooming lord knows many millimeters behind me. Had he hit me, I think he would have pushed me into the guardrail and I probably would have gone over the guardrail and down a couple stories onto the highway below...

Driving feels like a video game. A lot of veering one way and the next. Dodging people, bicycles, motorcycles, horses, buses, taxis, etc. It’s like Frogger but reversed. There are a million frogs crossing and you’re the car trying to make it from pt. a to pt. b without hitting or getting hit by one. It’s fun and exhilarating but it’s also real life. 

END ON A GOOD NOTE

This is part of Noelia’s patio. I absolutely love it! Nadessa arrives tomorrow for a week so I gotta get some rest. 

Estoy apreciado de tú y tú y todos. Buenas Noches!