#Martin deserves a little violence

[mitchasaurus-r3x]

If we do get a physical jm reunion in tmagp (which I doubt) I hope Martin gets to sock Jon in the face. As a treat.

[girlactionfigure]

Antisemitism, an old saying goes, is the canary in the coal mine. The implication is that, when antisemitism is rising in a society, this is a telltale sign that said society is in decline. In many cases throughout history, this has very much been true. For example, the Nazis rose to power -- and later led their country into a suicidal war -- by mobilizing German society with inflammatory antisemitic rhetoric.

Nevertheless, I’ve always really hated the expression, not because it’s necessarily untrue, but because of the implication that what really makes antisemitism matter is that Jew-hatred eventually poisons everything and everyone else. I think antisemitism matters because Jews are human beings, and that should be enough for us to act decisively against it, not because antisemitism might, in the future, affect other groups of people.

Regardless, I do think that it’s important for people to understand why and how antisemitism eventually might affect them too.

ANTISEMITISM AS A SIGN OF SOCIETAL DECLINE

Which came first: the chicken or the egg? In other words, do societies decline because of antisemitism, or does antisemitism rise because societies are in decline? In my opinion, it’s a little bit of both.

First, it’s important to understand how antisemitism functions. Antisemitism is not only a bigotry, but a worldview that relies on conspiracies, scapegoating, and projection. When things are bad -- for instance, when a society is in disarray -- people need someone to blame. When a child went missing in the Middle Ages, who was at fault? Why, the Jews, of course. When as much as 30 to 60% of the European population died from the Black Death in the 14th century, who was to blame? The Jews. When Weimar Germany suffered from economic hardships, who else could be at fault but the Jews?

I personally noticed this phenomenon in real-time in 2020, following the murder of George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter protests. Instead of holding American police to account for their police brutality, very quickly, antisemites swept in with the “Deadly Exchange” conspiracy theory, which absurdly posits that it’s the Jewish state that is at fault for police brutality in the United States (as though American police brutality didn’t exist before 1948!). In this sense, it’s obvious that antisemitism rises when societies are in strife.

On the other hand, pre-existing antisemitism will poison everything in a society. White supremacists and Islamic fundamentalist terrorist groups, for example, often recruit followers with antisemitic rhetoric, but their violence targets more than just Jews. It doesn’t take long for hostile antisemitic environments to become hostile to many other groups of people.

"FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE..."

Surely you’ve heard the famous Martin Niemöller poem: “First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out — because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out — because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out — because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me — and there was no one left to speak for me.”

It is, perhaps, the quotation most often associated with the Holocaust and the Nazi persecution of Jews and political dissidents. And while Pastor Niemöller certainly had a point, the question bears repeating: why must others be targeted alongside Jews for antisemitism to matter? Shouldn’t antisemitism matter simply because Jews are human beings deserving of fundamental human rights and dignity?

As it turns out, Niemöller never quite got the memo. In the early 1930s, he not only openly agreed with Nazi ideology, but he voted the Nazis into power. His change of heart came not because he atoned for his antisemitism, but because he disliked how the Nazi Party was meddling with the Lutheran Church, which led to his eventual arrest. Even worse: after the Allied victory, he opposed the de-Nazification of Germany because he thought that it would “do more harm than good.”

In the end, it seems, for Niemöller, antisemitism only mattered when it affected him personally.

"FIRST THE SATURDAY PEOPLE, THEN THE SUNDAY PEOPLE"

The proverb “min sallaf es-sabt lāqā el-ḥadd qiddāmūh” — “after Saturday comes Sunday”— is used in many Middle Eastern countries, including Egypt, Syria, and Lebanon, to describe the treatment of Middle Eastern Jews and Christians. A popular variation is “first the Saturday people [Jews, who observe Shabbat on Saturday], then the Sunday people [Christians, who attend church on Sundays.” The idea is that what has been done to the Jews of the Middle East is now what is being done to Middle Eastern Christians.

The origins of the phrase, with this particular meaning, are contested, but some historians trace it back to the 1936-1939 Arab Revolt in Palestine and claim that it was coined by the followers of the Nazi collaborator Palestinian leader Haj Amin Al-Husseini. The phrase has also been attributed to the pro-Zionist Maronite Christians in Lebanon in the 1930s and 1940s. After the British authorities passed the 1939 White Paper, which virtually banned all Jewish immigration to and land purchases in Palestine, some Palestinian Arab Christians reportedly worried that they would be marginalized next.

In the 1940s and 1950s, virtually 100% of the Jewish population of the Middle East — which once numbered at around a million — was expelled from their homes in a series of systematic expulsions and massacres.  

Unfortunately, much as the proverb predicts, Middle Eastern Christians have suffered a similar fate. In 1900, Christians made up about 13% of the population of the Middle East. Today, Christians form only 4% of the Middle Eastern population.

Assyrian, Maronite, Coptic, and other Native Middle Eastern Christians have been driven out of their homes by Islamic fundamentalist violence, a recent example being the massacres and executions perpetrated by ISIS.

JIHADIST GROUPS

Like white supremacist groups, Islamist jihadist groups such as ISIS have historically used antisemitic rhetoric as a “gateway drug” for recruitment. For example, Damon Joseph, also known as Abdullah Ali Yusuf, was indicted by a federal court in late 2018 for providing material support to ISIS. After an investigation, it seems that Joseph had been radicalized within a matter of months, following his conversion to Islam. Joseph, however, had espoused antisemitic beliefs for years, and it seems that his pre-existing antisemitic worldview influenced his fundamentalist interpretation of Islam.

According to former CIA agent John Kiriakou, after the CIA captured Abu Zubaydah, who at the time was believed to be the number three in Al Qaeda, Abu Zubaydah said that he never hated America and only wanted to kill Jews and attack Israel.  

Similarly, in his 2002 “Letter to the American People,” in which he “explained” the 9/11 attacks, Al Qaeda founder Osama bin Laden justified his terrorist acts on the basis that the United States is allied with Israel and Jews allegedly “control” the American government.

Since the outbreak of the Israel-Hamas War, Jihadist groups have recruited lone wolf attackers in third countries by inciting against Israel.  

Hezbollah, which was formed to fight Israel’s existence, has now taken the lives of Syrians, Lebanese, Iranians, and much more.  

Antisemitism is closely linked to Islamist terrorism, even terrorism that doesn’t specifically target Jews, and it should be considered an international security threat.

WHITE SUPREMACY

Antisemitism is foundational to white supremacy, but it is not exclusive to white supremacy. White supremacy does not exist without antisemitism, but white supremacists don’t exclusively target Jews, and non-white supremacist ideologies can be antisemitic, too. In other words, all white supremacists are antisemitic, but not all antisemites are white supremacists, and white supremacists are bigoted toward many other groups of people, too.

Antisemitism plays a very specific function within white supremacy. White supremacists rely on antisemitism to (1) scapegoat, and (2) divide and conquer. For example, white supremacists believe that Jews are behind a supposed “white genocide,” aiming to replace white folks with Brown and Black folks. In other words, what starts with Jews doesn’t just end with Jews.

White supremacist groups often recruit online with antisemitic rhetoric, and many violent white supremacists were radicalized by consuming antisemitic content.

In the 1920s, the resurgence of the Ku Klux Klan is tied directly to the 1913 lynching of Leo Frank, a Jewish American. The KKK then went on to terrorize Black Americans.

DOMESTIC TERRORISM, MASS SHOOTINGS

Many domestic terrorists and mass shooters have been radicalized through antisemitic rhetoric, even if their violence eventually targeted other people. Some examples include Nikolas Cruz, who murdered 17 Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students and employees in 2018, and the perpetrators of the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, which killed 168 people.

rootsmetals

you shouldn’t wait until antisemitism affects you personally to care, but antisemitism *will* affect you personally eventually, whether you’re Jewish or not.

For a full bibliography of my sources, please head over to my Instagram and  Patreon. 

[charon-cries]

your martin could literally brutally murder me and i'd still think he did nothing wrong. i'd give the man a cookie. he deserves one i think.

i don't think he'd actually hurt someone himself, but he does deserve a little violence. as a treat. just like that cookie

[pascaloverx]

BORN TO DIE

Summary: In a tense political setting, a Targaryen bastard working as a prostitute is summoned by Prince Aemond to the Red Keep. Aemond wants her to approach his dragon, Vhagar, as a test of her worth. Although he plans for her to claim another dragon in the future, her immediate challenge is to survive Prince Aemond demands while trying to stay alive.

Author’s Note: This work is set in the world created by George R.R. Martin, as depicted in his book Fire & Blood, and none of the characters belong to me. The story will follow some events from the series House of the Dragon (2022), but with changes to fit the fanfiction narrative. Therefore, it will not adhere strictly to the series' storyline. This fanfiction is a work of fiction and may contain inappropriate language, adult content, and violence. Readers be warned. I hope you enjoy the story and interact with it. I apologize if there are any errors in the High Valyrian sections; I used a translator and am unsure of its accuracy. Thank you and happy reading.

Warning: This chapter will contain violence, as well as inappropriate language and adult sexual content. Minors should not read or interact with this chapter or this fanfic.

FIVE SEVEN

SIX (+18)

One thrust after another, while your heart felt like it was going to explode. Prince Aemond had his cock inside you, while you were wrapped around him. Your pussy dripping with pure lust as you let out loud moans in his ear.

"Shout louder, Gundjabo. I want you to be heard. Tell them who truly satisfies you." Prince Aemond whispers in your ear, biting it lightly. Prince Aemond’s voice drips with arrogance, his demand a cruel mix of authority and mockery.Your arms rest on his shoulders, while your nails dig into his back. He moves almost violently in and out of you. His cock deliciously exploring your pussy as if he wanted to make it his home. Your lips meeting his neck, initially making you want to kiss him there, but eventually you sank your teeth into his soft skin. Your teeth sinking into him each time his cock enters you further. It's like you can feel your body throb the deeper he goes.

"I belong to you, Your Highness. Please, punish me for having betrayed you. I deserve to suffer at your hands, ñuha dārilaros." Your voice trembles with submission, laced with a calculated vulnerability as you offer yourself to Prince Aemond, fully aware of the game you're playing. As you say this you feel Aemond smile against your neck as he lies on top of you. Aemond Targaryen's hands run around your body, reaching your ass. With his hands on your buttocks, he squeezes firmly making you gasp as you feel him take over your body. Then he pulled out of you with his cock making you grunt in frustration. Then he brought your legs together, lifting them in the air a little, and without further ado, he penetrated you. You moaned loudly, and then bit your own lip hard.

“That's how you like it, This is how you like to feel my cock, right promiscuous whore?" Prince Aemond speaks as he slowly drags his cock in and out of your pussy while still holding your legs with his arms. No lies, the way he's fucking you is kind of rough but it feels so good that you're lost in your own lust.

“If you wish to please me so greatly, why then do you seek to end my reign?” The voice is familiar, but as you glance up in confusion, it is not Prince Aemond standing before you—it is King Aegon II. His expression is one of unease, and without thought, you embrace him. A sigh of frustration escapes you before you murmur, "You may not remember, but you destroyed me, Your Grace." The words leave your lips with surprising ease, as if this truth had been long buried within you, waiting for this very moment to emerge.

“You tried to destroy me, yet in the end, he will be the one to claim you, laying you to eternal rest,” King Aegon II whispers, his lips brushing softly against yours as tears stream down his face, his arms clinging to you with a desperation that sends a shiver of fear through your body. You don’t understand his words, but the terror rising within you compels you to pull his arms away. As he turns from you, his eyes widen in shock, for before him stands Prince Aemond, mounted upon Vhagar, her immense form looming like a harbinger of fate.

Like a breath of life, you awaken from what was undoubtedly the most bizarre dream you have ever experienced. Disoriented, you find yourself lying in the bed of His Grace, King Aegon II. It appears you had drifted off to sleep unintentionally. The vividness of the dream still lingers in your mind, leaving you with a sense of unease. King Aegon II is asleep after a tireless night of fucking you. But his drowsiness isn't just because he ate you, but because he was drunk.

"Helaena, return to bed," King Aegon II murmurs, his eyes barely open as he gazes at you, his voice thick with sleep. He seems unaware of the reality, mistaking you for his wife in his half-conscious state. His hand touches your bare back, then starts to caress your breasts in sequence, almost abruptly.

"I must go, Your Grace. I do not wish to disturb your rest," you reply, neither denying nor confirming his assumption. His hand continues to trace over your bare skin until, at last, he seems to regain full awareness. His touch retreats from you in an instant. Knowing you should leave, you begin to dress, but before you can finish, he rises from the bed, seizing your arm and pulling you back to him. The tension lingers in the air as you feel his grip tighten, keeping you from escaping so easily.

"Do you think you're already carrying a child?" King Aegon II murmurs with unsettling candor, as though asking something entirely mundane. You're taken aback by his persistence, still fixated on the notion of getting you with child. Internally, you hope desperately that he will let go of this idea, though his words echo in the stillness, a grim reminder of the precarious position you're in.

"I fail to see how that would be of any use to Your Grace. After all, should there be a fruit of our union growing within me, it would serve you no purpose," you reply cautiously, your voice tinged with apprehension as you brace yourself for the king's reaction. You know well how unpredictable Aegon II can be, and the thought of provoking his wrath sends a chill through you, yet the words escape your lips with measured care.

"If Helaena refuses to restore Jaehaerys to me, someone must. My son, Prince of the Seven Kingdoms... my only heir. You will give him back to me, and I shall offer you something in return. Not that you have much choice in the matter, for I am your King." His gaze, already dark, seemed to deepen further, his voice laden with a dangerous intensity. You noticed his fingers gripping each other with unsettling force, as though teetering on the edge of madness. You blinked several times, trying to fully comprehend the weight of his words, uncertain if you had truly understood his demand.

"Your Grace, no one can return Prince Jaehaerys to you. I understand the need to fill the void left by him, but I am not your wife. It is with her that you must produce your heirs. With me, you may find the pleasures of the flesh and a loyal servant. I shall fight for your claim to the throne, but I will not bear bastards who serve no purpose for you."

You know well the treacherous path you tread with such words, especially in a moment as intimate as this. King Aegon II sighs, a heavy weight in his breath, before murmuring with bitter disappointment, "You deny me something you would so easily give to my brother." King Aegon II repeats this mutter a few times, transitioning from disappointed to angry as he approaches you. Even though he's naked and almost tripping, finds the strength to slap you in the face. The slap is strong enough to make you fall to the ground, feeling the burning sensation in the place where King Aegon II hit you.

"You think I do not see that it is him you desire?" Aegon II lets out a wicked laugh, his gaze burning into you as you lay on the floor. He kneels beside you, gripping your face tightly between his hands.

"I never wished to be with anyone but you, my King," you say, your voice trembling, as if trying to convince both yourself and him. The words come out faintly, your strength still fading from the force of your fall.

"Liar!" Aegon II bellows, his voice thundering as he releases your face and paces around you with restless fury. After pacing angrily around the room, Aegon II hastily donned part of his clothing and stormed out, leaving the door slamming in his wake. Slowly, you manage to rise from the floor, every movement weighed down by the burden of your choices. Your lip aches, and the faint taste of blood lingers in your mouth. Expecting something far worse to befall you, you feel the hot sting of tears slipping down your cheeks, unbidden. You should be accustomed to such treatment, after all, you grew up knowing cruelty. Yet, there are some wounds that cut deeper than others.

"Take her away. Summon Prince Aemond, so that he is made fully aware of what will become of his whore. Then, I want both of them in the throne room. Perhaps this will make it clear who truly rules here." You hear King Aegon II’s voice echo as his guards burst into the room. Their grip on you is harsh, dragging you out with merciless force. A part of you, filled with seething anger, longs to protest—perhaps even to call your King a pitiful madman. Yet another part of you is weary, worn from speaking without considering the consequences that always follow.

When you are thrown at the foot of the Iron Throne, your body—already tender and bruised—feels too feeble to resist the guards’ brutality. You stare at the throne, a puzzle that now seems beyond solving, as if it were mocking you. Death, you think, might be a mercy. If you die, all will be over. The guards leave the throne room, and you are left to ponder what fate lies ahead.

Then, with an extravagant stride, Prince Aemond Targaryen enters the room. You glance over your shoulder to confirm it is truly him. He walks with a sword at his side, his steps slow and deliberate, as if he is reveling in this moment—commanding attention with every step, his presence impossible to ignore.

"Gundjabo, what have you done to bring us here? Please tell me this is all a misunderstanding. I was interrupted amidst something of great importance," Aemond says impatiently, sighing as he stands beside you. You, lacking the will to rise, look up at him, your gaze steady as you murmur, "Do not concern yourself. You are merely here to witness my death, nothing more. And, since I am to die, I’ll admit something—I think you, Your Highness, are a monumental waste of potential." A chuckle escapes your lips as you witness the outrage that flashes across his face at your words. He crouches down to your level, his eye dark with fury as he tries to comprehend your insolence.

"How dare you speak so casually to me? Have you forgotten who you are? I could kill you for such insolence," Aemond growls, his face inches from yours, his breath hot against your skin as he grips your hair with deliberate force. You laugh softly, your gaze unwavering, meeting his with surprising calm.

"When you look at me, Your Highness, do you see someone afraid of death? By the gods, my end is already upon me. Worry not," you reply, your tone indifferent, as though death were merely a passing inconvenience. Your nonchalance only stokes Aemond’s anger further. With a fierce gleam in his eye, he unsheathes his sword, the cold steel glinting ominously as he holds it before you, clearly intending to frighten you. But before he can act, the heavy doors to the throne room swing open, and in strides King Aegon II, fully dressed and composed. Without uttering a single word, he crosses the room with a regal air and ascends the Iron Throne, seating himself with an imperious silence, casting a shadow over the tense scene unfolding before him.

"Before the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms stand his brother and the whore," King Aegon II declares, his voice resonating with authority that fills the throne room. "Correct me if I am mistaken, but as sovereign, my word must reign supreme. Yet you both have dared to disregard it. My brother challenges me by believing I am too naïve to perceive the bond that exists between him and his erstwhile companion." He pauses, surveying both of you with a steely gaze, as if weighing your fates.

"He informed me prior to making this whore the rider of one of the most powerful dragons that, as sovereign, I would possess her. Yet, upon their arrival, he exhibited dominance over her. I can only conclude that her refusal to concede to my desires suggests that Prince Aemond is under the sway of her very own common sense. Thus, I see no better or more entertaining solution than to have you both engage in combat against one another." King Aegon II’s voice resonates through the throne room, each word dripping with authority and malice, as he awaits the reaction of both the prince and the woman at his feet.

"You mean to tell me that you, Your Grace, in the midst of war, wish for two dragonriders to battle each other until the more skilled prevails, merely to prove a point? Brother, your talents as a ruler grow ever more impressive. But as you will." Prince Aemond speaks with an ironic, almost mocking expression, as though his brother were a fool. At least someone had the audacity to challenge the King. Aemond extended his hand toward you, while removing his sword from his waist and casting it aside to a distant corner of the throne room.

"Gundjabo, sīmagon. Pāsagon bē aōha dārilaros," Aemond says as he stares at Aegon, who appears confused, almost as if he doesn’t understand. And then you realize. He doesn’t know what Prince Aemond has just said to you, so he will believe in whatever performance you both deliver. The fact that the prince wanted to warn you must mean he knows it would be a waste of time to kill you when you are still relevant to the war. Without hesitation, you take your combatant’s hand, rising to fight. You are at peace with the consequences of your actions, for this is the moment when you look determinedly at your opponent. Something within you—a power—grows. Perhaps it is the courage of those whose fate is sealed, but as you prepare to attack Prince Aemond, you feel an overwhelming strength take hold of you.

At first glance, your instinct is to go after Prince Aemond without delay. He is well-prepared to receive your attack, and as your fist nearly connects with him, he smiles with amusement, watching you stumble, nearly falling to the ground without landing a blow.  As you are almost lying on the ground you feel Prince Aemond kick you. The impact is so great that it feels like there is something burning inside you when you feel his kick.

"Brother, don't go easy on her!" King Aegon II shouts at the top of his voice, watching the two of you fight. As Prince Aemond advances toward you again, you quickly drop to the ground, grabbing his leg and pulling it out from under him, taking him by surprise. In a swift moment, still recalling the dream you had, you bite him. Sinking your teeth into the exposed part of Prince Aemond’s leg, despite his efforts to shake you off. The taste of his blood in your mouth confirms that you’ve bitten deep enough. Exhausted from the struggle, you finally release his leg, only to hear him shout a string of curses as he pulls back slightly. It's the moment that you take the opportunity to get up from the ground and recover. Prince Aemond is still rumbling when you get on his back. You hold your arms tightly around his neck, suffocating him a little more every second. He throws his head back as hard as he can, leaving you disoriented. With such force, you end up letting go of Prince Aemond and stumbling in sequence, falling to the ground. You feel your lip burn as you try to compose yourself, but Prince Aemond is on top of you before you can get up. 

"Don't resist, gundjabo." Aemond's eyes darken somehow as his hands wrap around your neck, you stare at each other as you gasp for air as his fingers slip into your skin more strongly. Then you try to spread your legs wide enough to wrap Aemond around you. Your hands trying to feel his body to find in his clothes a small dagger that you saw him keep before. It's hard to do this while you're losing your breath but you force his body even closer to yours and finally reach the damn dagger. You manage to take the dagger from the compartment in His Highness's clothing and then hold it against his neck. This is the second time this has happened between you two in some way, but this time it seems Prince Aemond is pleased that you have succeeded.  

"Kill him!" King Aegon II's voice echoes through the chamber as he sits on the Iron Throne. Surely, you must have misheard—His Grace wouldn't command you to kill his own brother.

"Come now, whore. If there is no attachment between you and Prince Aemond, kill him. Prove to your King that you speak the truth," he commands, watching as you hold the dagger firmly against Aemond. Prince Aemond seems to mask his surprise at his brother's words, though it is clear he did not expect such a command. If he so wished, he could have suffocated you by now—just as you, with a single motion, could slit his throat without hesitation.

"Your Grace, one of the dragons is out of control! The beast has devoured three dragonkeepers and is nearly upon your dragon!" A guard bursts into the Throne Room, his voice filled with terror. He freezes at the sight of the scene before him—the tense confrontation between you and Prince Aemond, unsure whether to proceed or retreat in fear.

With just a glance, it is as though you and Prince Aemond silently agree that there is no further need to attack one another, for Aegon II’s attention will soon be claimed by the conflict among the dragons. As you release each other, Prince Aemond collapses beside you, lying on the floor for a few moments, his breathing heavy and labored. Yet the realization strikes you almost instantly—the dragon causing the chaos could very well be yours.

"What dragon is attacking Sunfyre? Tell me at once, you fool!" King Aegon II shouts, his voice laced with concern; it is likely because his dragon serves as his safe haven. You rise alongside Prince Aemond, still feeling the imprint of his fingers around your neck, while you watch the guard nearly faint from fear.

"The beast with green eyes and black scales. The dragon that Your Grace recently tamed. It has been restless for some time now, as if growing agitated. I fear it may attack Sunfyre at any moment," the guard speaks, his voice trembling with anxiety. King Aegon II rises hastily from the Iron Throne, urgency driving him as he prepares to confront the dragons.

"Your Grace, allow me to be of service. I shall calm Cannibal, ensuring that no harm befalls him. In doing so, I can prove my worth to you." You speak with barely any strength, slowly approaching King Aegon II, who hesitates, shaking his head as if reluctant to accept your proposal. Surprisingly, he looks to his brother, seeking counsel or reassurance.

"Let her go to Cannibal. At worst, he will kill her, which would resolve your predicament without further complication," Aemond remarks with cold indifference. Naturally, he would be willing to risk your life to safeguard the dragons. Both Aegon and Aemond rely on Cannibal and require him to remain calm and under control. It is little wonder, then, that for these past weeks you have served not only as King Aegon II's concubine but also as the tamer of his dragon—or rather, the King's dragon.

"How easily you become helpful when it concerns this harlot, dear brother. You failed to eliminate her. She, in turn, has disobeyed my authority as King and failed to kill you," Aegon declares, his tone sharp. "Now, it falls to both of you to handle the dragon. In times of war, it is well to remember that I am the King. I rule the Seven Kingdoms. Fear me, obey me, and seek to satisfy only me. This applies to all—every one of you," he reaffirms, clearly seeking to belittle you while humiliating his brother. It is evident that Prince Aemond is seething, his irritation manifesting in the way he clenches his fists, squeezing his own hand with force.

"Mēre eglives ajorrāelagon zȳhon dohaeriros baelagon. Of course, Your Grace, we shall ensure the dragon causes no further hindrance," Prince Aemond responds with irreverence, before seizing your arm and dragging you from the throne room. He all but carries you through the halls of the Red Keep, his expression a mix of impatience, anger, and something undeniably captivating.

There is something in the wild swing of his hair, in the way his hand grips your arm with a firm yet skilled touch. Perhaps it’s the manner in which he disregards anything you might have to say as he leads you toward the dragonpit, his focus entirely set on the task at hand. You and Prince Aemond enter the dragon pit, drawn by the sight of Cannibal spewing fire at the dragonkeepers, clearly agitated. Without hesitation, Prince Aemond instinctively throws you toward the enraged beast, as if you were nothing more than a plaything—or a fine meal. Cannibal’s attention immediately shifts to you as you lie on the ground for what feels like the fourth or fifth time today. Rising now seems perilous, as you feel the dragon's hot breath wash over you. His enormous head draws closer, each exhale burning the air around you, while you remain perfectly still, unsure if any movement might provoke your doom.

"Lykirī, Cannibal. Ao issi ȳgha. Nyke kesīr." It is the most you can manage to say amidst your nerves. You had hoped to sound more decisive, but your voice trembles with fear. From behind, you hear Prince Aemond chuckle, clearly amused by the pitiful scene you are creating.

No sooner have the words left your lips than Cannibal unleashes a stream of fire toward where Prince Aemond stands. Then, to your astonishment, the massive beast gently withdraws, lowering his head onto your body as if seeking comfort or protection, leaving you both shocked and strangely relieved beneath the weight of his skull.

"The dragon has chosen me; there is nothing you can do to change that. The question you must ask yourselves is whether you wish to start an unnecessary battle, one that will surely result in the death of a dragon. Cannibal is ready for war, whichever form it takes. Look at the damage he has already wrought," you say, your voice measured as you try to control your breathing, still feeling the weight of Cannibal's skull resting upon you. Sensing your struggle beneath him, the dragon slowly lifts his head, releasing a deep roar that echoes through the pit. He moves deliberately toward Prince Aemond, who remains motionless, his eyes locked on the approaching beast.

"And what is it you desire in exchange for keeping your dragon under control?" Prince Aemond murmurs, his voice low, still fixated on Cannibal, who now stands before him, as though determined to intimidate. The dragon roars directly in front of the prince, as if toying with him, testing the boundaries of his royal composure. Aemond’s words are laced with quiet menace, his gaze unwavering as he confronts both you and the mighty beast. His question hangs in the air, the tension between you, the prince, and Cannibal palpable, as though the dragon himself waits to see how you will respond.

"I do not wish to bear the bastard children of your brother. Nor do I desire to be regarded as nothing more than a common whore. I care not if I am used for carnal pleasures, but if my existence in this place means I must constantly prove my loyalty and intentions, then it would be better for you to kill me now," you declare, your voice steady despite the gravity of your words.

The weight of your ultimatum lingers, as Cannibal stands close by, his presence adding to the tension. You meet Prince Aemond's gaze, unflinching, making it clear that you refuse to be reduced to a pawn in their power games without being recognized for more.

"You will never be more than a bastard whore to us," Prince Aemond declares, his eyes cold as they sweep over both you and Cannibal. His words are sharp, meant to wound, a reminder of your status in their world. Yet, even as he speaks, the looming presence of the dragon beside you challenges his defiance, a silent testament to the power you now hold—whether he wishes to acknowledge it or not.

"I will kill you for your insolence. You can be certain of that, gundjabo," Prince Aemond snarls, his voice dripping with fury as he watches you climb onto Cannibal’s wing, settling into the saddle. His expression is one of pure rage, his vengeful intent unmistakable. The frustration in his eyes is clear—he is powerless without Vhagar, who rests outside the dragonpit, leaving him to watch as you ascend with Cannibal. A twisted smile curls on his lips, though, as if savoring the thought of eventual retribution, even as you prepare for flight atop the mighty beast.

"I shall eagerly await the day you kill me, Your Highness. But for now, my dragon and I shall depart, in search of a way to prove our loyalty to the crown and King Aegon II. Kill me when you see fit, but spare me your empty threats, ñuha dārilaros." Your voice is steady and clear, designed to provoke Prince Aemond, hoping to put an end to his attacks and perhaps those of Aegon as well. Your dragon will be your key to securing whatever peace remains for you.

You give a sly smile as you watch Prince Aemond grumble in frustration, his eyes filled with murderous intent. "Sōvegon, Cannibal!" you command, and with a powerful movement, Cannibal shifts toward the exit of the dragonpit. Moments later, you soar into the skies above King’s Landing, leaving Aemond behind, his rage simmering below.

Cannibal’s mighty wings beat against the air, carrying both of you higher into the skies, the connection between dragon and rider strengthening with each moment. Below, the common folk stir in anxiety, likely fearing the very presence of Cannibal and the threat of a looming battle. You continue your flight, losing yourself in the vast expanse of the sky, unafraid of the dangers that might lurk on the side of Princess Rhaenyra. But then, your fear materializes as you near what appears to be a group of King Aegon II’s knights. They run, terrified, toward the trees, their panic evident. And then you see her—a young girl, bold and fearless, flying directly toward the knights atop her dragon. The beast is beautiful, though clearly still young.

A laugh escapes your lips without thought as you watch Cannibal, sensing the challenge, surge forward with terrifying grace, setting his sights on the younger dragon. As the winds whip around you, you understand—victory lies not in fear, but in power.

"One's greatest strength is revealed not by what they flee from, but by what they choose to face." You mutter, holding on tight to Cannibal's saddle as he goes straight for the other dragon's neck, sinking his teeth into it, taking both the poor dragon and its young rider by surprise. The noises of pain made by the other dragon make you feel sorry for him.

"Angōs, Moondancer," the young girl commands, her voice sharp as her dragon struggles in vain to fend off Cannibal. The sight is pitiful, yet Cannibal’s power is unmatched, and Moondancer’s attempts grow weaker by the second.

"You will regret this," the girl spits out in fury, her eyes blazing as they lock onto you. "My family will not allow you to escape unpunished for this." Her words are filled with defiance, but you had been too engrossed in the battle of the dragons to even notice her presence until now.

"Tell your family of what is about to happen. If you survive, warn them. There is a new dragon at King Aegon II's side, and he has quite the appetite for others of his kind. Surrender while you still can." Your voice is soft, almost unnervingly calm, as if you aren’t witnessing your dragon mercilessly tearing into hers mid-air. The girl clings to her dragon desperately, struggling to maintain her balance as Moondancer falters beneath Cannibal's relentless onslaught, her life hanging by a thread as they battle high above the ground.

"Who are you?" the girl screams in frustration, likely sensing the hopelessness of her dragon’s fate. Just before she can release herself and attempt to escape death, you decide to reveal something to her—something you have told no one else. Perhaps it is your confidence, or your arrogance, that leads you to believe she won’t survive this battle, and your little secret will die with her.

"I am the one who will rewrite the story of this war," you say, your voice low but certain. "A rider of Cannibal, and a servant to no man. Not Aegon, not Aemond. This war is but the beginning, and neither of us will leave it unchanged. But you, little rider, you won’t live to see that end."

"But more precisely, I am the daughter of some common whore and King Viserys. But don't spread it around. It has been a great pleasure to battle briefly with you. My advice is to learn to make wiser decisions. However, if you wish to continue being reckless, it would be my pleasure to defeat you again," you say, a smirk playing on your lips as you watch the girl's expression shift from frustration to disbelief.

With that, you turn your attention back to the chaos unfolding around you, Cannibal's power surging as he relishes his victory. The weight of your revelation lingers in the air, a secret kept in the heart of the storm.

"Irughagon zaldrīzes. Sīr!" you command, but it is too late. Cannibal, with all his fury, has already latched onto the young dragon, sinking his teeth into the creature’s flesh, dragging it down from the sky. The girl, whoever she may be, had the sense to release herself from the saddle just in time, plummeting through the air as her dragon is pulled beneath Cannibal’s crushing grip. You watch the scene unfold, feeling the force of the battle below you. Cannibal’s strength is unmatched, and it is clear that no mercy will be shown to the younger dragon. All that remains is whether the rider will survive her fall.

With his claws deeply embedded in the young dragon, Cannibal shows no mercy, swiftly eliminating his prey. True to his name, he feasts upon the younger creature, a brutal display of his ferocity. It is as if he is reconnecting with his true nature, embracing the raw violence that defines him. And as he shares this moment with you, the bond between dragon and rider intensifies, deepening with each savage act. The taste of blood and victory fills the air, and for both of you, this is only the beginning. War is upon you, and now, the true battle begins.

GLOSSARY

Gundjabo - Prostitute

Ñuha Dārilaros - My Prince

Sīmagon - Rise

Pāsagon - Trust or believe

Bē - On

Aōha - Your

Mēre - One

Eglives - Highness

Ajorrāelagon - Need

Zȳhon - His

Dohaeriros - Servant

Baelagon - Help

Lyrirī - Calm down

Ao - You

Issi - Is

ȳGha - Safe

Nyke - I

KesīR - Here

SōVegon - Fly

Angōs - Attack

Irughagon - Release

Zaldrīzes��- Dragon

Sīr- Now

[thebiggerbear]

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - Tom Hanniger Prompt Response

Summary: You went to visit Tom in the mines for a little Valentine's Day fun. Who knew that one decision would lead to everything that's happened? Will you be able to help Tom or will he be lost to you forever?

Pairing: Tom Hanniger x Female!Reader; Tom Hanniger x Sarah Mercer; implied past Deputy Martin x Female!Reader

A/N: Prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting (#941). This was so much fun to write. I just love this character and there is so much to explore with him. I also really love the dynamic between him and the reader in this one. Hope it came out alright.

I decided to give Deputy Martin a name. He deserves one. Also, I loved Tom and Sarah at the beginning of the movie. I had actually been hoping Sarah would leave Axel and be with Tom again until it was revealed that he was the one doing the killings. That grocery store scene when they see each other again for the first time after a decade...it broke my heart in the best way. Jensen and Jaime did a great job (Kerr too though I hated his character the entire time lol). So I kind of feel a little guilty here but I had to throw in the Sarah factor; not trying to crap on their relationship, I promise.

I tried my best do my research and be respectful in regards to DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) but also keep this a few years post-movie (2009) while also staying within the context the movie provided but also explore a bit, if that makes sense. Please note I do not work in the psychiatry, psychology, or medical fields. If I got anything appallingly incorrect about this disorder, its symptoms, its treaments, anything, please let me know. Also, I think it goes without saying (but I’ll say it anyway), not every single person who has been diagnosed with DID is violent or a threat to others nor are their alters violent or a threat to others. Obviously, this is just a work of fanfiction based on a fictional story where the main character had an alter that was violent and a threat to everyone. No harm or disrespect is intended with this fanfiction at all.

There is a note at the end.

This takes place pre-movie, all throughout it, and post-movie.

Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.

Warnings: violence; description of injuries; blood; sex (smut-light); angst; mentions of murder; semi-hostage situation; threats of harm/murder; psychiatric hospital treatment (I'm not sure if that's an actual warning or if it should be but I'm putting it in case)

Sidenote: I'm sure we all know this but I'm putting here in case anyway: if you ever go into any mines or similar underground structure, please always wear your hardhat and do what your guides/experts tell you/follow the rules to stay safe.

Word Count: 11k+

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

Tom Taglist: @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx

You can read on AO3

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."

Soldier Boy version ✨ Beau version ✨ Dean version ✨ Jenny version ✨ Jason version ✨ CJ version ✨ Rachel version ✨ Anael version ✨ SDV Leah version ✨ Alec version

You pulled up outside of Tunnel 5 in your car, your friends laughing and cheering as you parked. You weren’t as excited to be here but they managed to talk you into it. 

A Valentine’s Day party was happening in Tunnel 5 and most people your age were going to be there. Why they had decided on a tunnel in the Hanniger mines as the primo party spot you had no idea. If there was one thing you had learned in your life so far, people were weird and most college-aged kids would party wherever, whenever. Especially in a small town like this one.

You got out of the car, heading towards the trunk, ignoring the dibs your friend Destiny was calling on every hot single guy to your other two friends, Carina and Taylor. You handed six packs of beer out to each of them before grabbing the last one and shutting the trunk lid.

“You okay, Y/N?”

You glanced up to find Carina watching you while Destiny and Taylor were waiting impatiently to get to the party. You forced a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay, Rina. Promise.” She knew how hard this might be for you and you appreciated her checking in with you. She returned your smile and turned to follow your two other friends, with you close behind her. 

You passed a few cars until a familiar tall figure entered your vision, sans his usual ball cap. You watched as Tom Hanniger opened the back door of his truck, searching for something. You moved a little closer to Carina and discreetly handed her your six-pack. “I’ll catch up,” you whispered.

She glanced over to where you were staring and gave you a look. “Y/N…”

“I’ll be fine, Rina. You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you guys in a few.”

She seemed uncertain but nodded, doing as you asked. You watched her hurry to catch up to Destiny and Taylor, and then you turned your attention back on Tom. You waited for two people to pass by before you made your way over to him.

He had a six-pack in his hand but he was standing stock still, almost as if he was lost in thought. You then watched as he put the beer back down, holding a hand to the side of his car, and you could tell he was taking a deep breath. Your heart broke for him a little. This couldn’t be easy for him, being here, and being back here especially. You wondered what had prompted him to come here and then you realized, your heart breaking a little further: Sarah.

You pressed your lips together and decided to get this over with. “Hey, Tom,” you called softly.

He spun around, surprised to see you. “Y/N…hey.”

You took him in and you hoped your pain wasn’t showing through. He looked good for the most part, still handsome, still tall and statuesque, his figure being cut from playing football. The only difference you could make out was the nerves that were plain as day though he tried to hide them from you. “How are you?”

He shrugged. “I’m doing alright, I guess. How about you? I hear congratulations are in order. You got into med school. I always knew you would.”

“Thanks,” you whispered. You had worked hard in school, filled up your interim semesters with classes to help you get closer to graduation, studied like hell for the MCAT, and got into the med school of your choice — well, one of them — just like you’d been hoping for the longest time. “Are you here alone?”

“No, uh, I’m here with…” He gestured back towards the tunnel.

“Sarah,” you supplied.

“Yeah.” You could see some of his discomfort showing through. “Sarah.”

You attempted a smile. “That’s good.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything, just kept his eyes trained on the hat in his hand.

You wished things weren’t so awkward now between you. They never used to be.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed, his eyes lifting to yours. “For how things turned out. I never meant— I never meant for any of this to happen.” You could see the regret in them, an echo of some of your own regret.

“I know,” you whispered, your eyes burning at the corners. “I’m sorry, too.”

And you really were. Perhaps if you had been a better girlfriend a year ago — a better person even — you both wouldn’t be here now, feeling as if the blood on your hands would never wash away.

It was Valentine’s Day and you knew Tom was working in the mines all day. He still promised to take you out afterwards, once he’d gotten a chance to shower and clean up. You were looking forward to it.

You had no idea when the thought popped into your head but once it did, it took root and stayed there. Until you found yourself visiting him at the mines. Of course, you’d gotten a lot of dirty and suspicious looks as you dressed in a miner’s uniform and plopped a hard hat on your head (it was the rules). Some guy you forgot the name of the second you’d been introduced to took you down in a cart. While you weren’t crazy about going further underground, you told yourself that once you were with Tom, you would be safe. And it would all be worth it once he saw the present you had for him. 

You got to your stop, the guy called for Tom to come down and mentioned he had a visitor, and not too long after, Tom appeared. You grinned at him when you saw the look of surprise on your boyfriend’s face. 

“What the— What the hell are you doing here, sweetheart?”

“Surprise!” You hugged him as fiercely as you could with his equipment on him. 

He shook his head, smiling as he took in your outfit. “You came all the way down here just to surprise me?”

“Of course I did.”

“But sweetheart, it’s not safe.”

“Don’t tell me that, Tom. I worry about you enough being down here as it is. And don’t worry, I won’t be long.” You smirked up at him and he immediately got your meaning. 

He uncomfortably cleared his throat. “I can take it from here, Fred. I’ll call a cart down when she’s ready to go back up or you if you’re still around. Thanks.”

Fred shook his head, most likely knowing what you two were up to. “I’ll be over in 3 if you need me,” he gruffed out. You both watched as the cart disappeared down the shaft.

“Sweetheart, you really shouldn’t have come down. It’s not safe,” Tom told you but you could feel his hand resting on the seat of your uniform. 

“I have a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?” He smiled. “What kind of surprise?” 

“You’ll see,” you teased. “Is there somewhere we can go?”

He glanced around quickly before taking your hand. “Yeah, there’s a place. Come on.” He led you back up the shaft a little ways and into a pocket, hidden from view. He whisked off his hard hat and yours before eagerly pulling you to him, making you giggle into his mouth. 

“I’ve never had a girl visit me at the mines before,” he murmured, kissing your jaw. 

“And you better never have any girl other than me coming to see you.” You playfully poked his chest in warning.

“No other girl for me,” he whispered to your lips before kissing you again. “You’re it. Always.”

“Awww.” You began to unzip your uniform, wanting to give him his present already. Something sweet like that deserved a reward. 

He pulled back to help you and once the top half was off, his brows drew together in mock confusion. “My surprise is your jogging sweats? I really appreciate the thought, sweetheart, but you could’ve given that to me later tonight and not risked coming down here.”

You swatted at his shoulder, making him snicker, as you slowly unzipped your top half. His eyes followed the trail of the zipper and they widened when you opened the shirt and pushed it back to your shoulders. You smirked, seeing his reaction. He wasn’t laughing or making fun now.

Underneath your sweats, you wore new lingerie you had bought just for this moment. It was a red and white lacy bra that had hearts all over it, ending in a cut-out heart design over your breasts, with a little bow holding it altogether. “You like?”

“I like.” He trailed a finger along the edge of the cut-out heart. “I like it a lot.” He twirled the ribbon over his finger, smirking over at you. “Do I get to unwrap you?” He teased.

You shrugged. “It is your present. Don’t forget about the bottom half, too.” You pushed down your uniform and sweats to reveal similar looking underwear. “But the tie’s at the back.” You leaned forward slightly so he could see. He grinned as he ran a hand over the cut-out heart shape back there, tugging at the ribbon playfully. “So you like your surprise?”

“I love my surprise.” He kissed you as he untied the underwear and let them fall forward into his waiting hand. He stuck them into the pocket of his mining uniform and you felt him begin to touch you in the way he knew you liked. He groaned into your mouth when he felt you. “You’re all ready for me.”

“Of course,” you hummed. “I never half-ass a present.”

He brought his hand down on your bare ass cheek in a slap, making you squeal, and squeezed it. “No, you do not.” He stuck his tongue back into your mouth and you worked to get his uniform unzipped and off of him. He had untied your bra and he broke away from you to take one of your nipples into his mouth. You gasped and arched your head back, your fingers gripping the back of his hair to hold him to you. You let out a moan while he nibbled away at you. He had you on the edge already and he’d barely touched you.

You pulled him back up to you, kissing him deeply, as you started working on his belt. You had just worked his jeans down enough so you could pull him out to stroke him when his hand stopped you. “Sweetheart, wait, wait.”

You pouted. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have a condom.”

You smirked. “Is that all?”

“Is that all? Uh, yeah, and that’s a problem. My wallet’s in my locker up top. I know we usually just…you know, if we don’t have them, but uh, I’m not going to lie, I really want to enjoy my present right now,” he ended with a nervous laugh. “Every inch of it.” He slapped your ass cheek again and leaned forward, nipping at your breast before kissing the sting away.

“Well, then it’s your lucky day that I’m the world's most amazing girlfriend, Tom Hanniger.” You reached into the pocket of your jacket and pulled out two condoms, holding them up in front of his face. 

He glanced up at you in awe. “You really are.” He snatched the condoms from you, putting one into his pocket and opening the other. You leaned in and kissed the spot underneath his ear while he got ready for you. “I told you,” you murmured. “I never half-ass a present. Happy Valentine’s Day, baby.”

He turned to look at you, holding you steady as he made sure your uniform was covering your back. He began to slip into you and you both groaned by the time he bottomed out, he was a few inches above your lips, smiling. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.” He then kissed you and began to give you what you both wanted.

It was quick, hurried, frenzied even. As much as you loved each other, this wasn’t the time or place to take your time. You both could be caught at any moment, it was dangerous like Tom said… You could take your time with each other later. 

Tom had to cover your mouth when you came and you’d had to cover his when he crossed the finish line. You’d felt every grunt sound he made against your palm and it only turned you on more. You almost wished you had forgotten the condoms but you knew Tom wouldn’t be deep inside you right now if you had. Tom was adamant about protection, just like you were, but you loved him and trusted him. Plus, you had been on the pill for years but you knew Eli Hanniger had drilled it into his son’s head to always cover it up unless he wanted some girl to put him in a position someday where he’d be trapped into a marriage and forced to share half his money. You tried not to take it too personally when Eli had looked over at you after that little nugget of his own brand of wisdom on one of the many nights Tom had to pick his drunken dad up from the local bar. 

Eli couldn’t have been more wrong. You loved Tom but you also had your own goals in life that you didn’t want deterred by parenthood earlier than expected. Not to mention, Tom could be the poorest guy in town and you would still love him and want to be with him. You’d loved Tom since you were five, ever since he’d seen you crying because all of the markers were gone in kindergarten class and everyone was making a picture but you. He came over to give you the red one he’d been using with a cute smile that was meant to reassure you. You’d smiled back at him, sniffling, your face wet, as you both worked together to make a picture. You’d been close ever since. 

Once you were in high school, things changed between you. You’d had to watch as he dated girl after girl until finally junior year came. You changed up your look a little, didn’t have your nose stuck in a book every other minute, and the guys began to slowly take notice of you. Tom had been jealous when you told him you were going on a date with one of his teammates. You two had been arguing in his car when he leaned over and kissed you out of the blue. Needless to say, you had canceled that date and Tom stopped hooking up with one of the cheerleaders he’d been casually seeing at the time.

You both were happy. You both attended the same university and you spent the holidays together with your families. Well, you and Tom spent the holidays with your family; Eli wanted no part of it. It was almost as if because you weren’t a mining family or a well-off family, you weren’t good enough for him to bother gracing you with his presence at your dinner table. Just like you weren’t good enough to be dating his son, unlike Sarah Mercer whose parents owned the grocery store in town. That was who Eli kept pushing Tom towards but Tom told his dad he didn’t have eyes for anyone but you. He loved you and someday, he wanted to marry you. Your heart warmed when you overheard him say that. Which immediately hardened when you heard his dad then say “You’re a fool. That girl just wants your money! Sarah’s an actually decent hard-working girl. You’d be better off with her than that other one.” Tom didn’t say anything else and you had gone back to the book you were reading, pretending to be caught up in it, when he came out, hurrying to take your hand and get out of there. You never let on that you’d heard what he said…and what he didn’t say. 

And you may have taken the initiative to show him how much you loved him and wanted to keep you with him. Which is why you had risked coming down here to have semi-public sex in a dangerous mine, wearing a lingerie set you would usually never be caught dead in. You had already planned to go all out that evening once you made it to the hotel room you’d reserved in town, but you also wanted to give him something to remember, something he’d never ever forget. Now, you would always be in his mind, having made your mark, no matter what might happen with your relationship. You just hoped you made a mark on his heart, too, at some point while you’d been together, and that he didn’t let his dad’s obvious prejudice against you and your family sway him away from you.

Tom’s head dropped to your shoulder as he attempted to come down from his high, trying to catch his breath. You kissed the side of his head, not caring about the damp sweat or coal mine smell coming off of him. You leaned your head up next to his ear. “I love you, Tom. I’ll love you forever,” you whispered. You knew he heard you when he squeezed you, still panting harshly against your skin.

“Always,” he whispered back to you.

You hugged him tightly then.

A little while later, you were both redressed, hardhats back on your heads as you waited for Fred to arrive with the cart to take you back up top. Tom had called Tunnel 3 to ask him to come back for you. He had his arms around you from behind and he was smiling down at you. “Thank you for my present,” he murmured. Unable to really kiss you or nuzzle you thanks to the hardhats, he pressed a kiss to your shoulder and tightened his arms around you. 

“I’ve got another one for later.”

He turned to look at you quizzically which then turned into a glimmer of hope.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “I bought another set. Deep red and more ribbons.” You wiggled an eyebrow playfully at him.

“I fucking love you.” His smile was bright as he carefully leaned in to kiss your neck, making you giggle. 

“Hey, lovebirds!” You both looked up to see Fred turning the corner a little further down the shaft, having a clear view of the two of you. “Break it up! I haven’t had my lunch yet and I don’t want it spoiled!”

Tom rolled his eyes but let you go. “Ha ha, Fred. Very funny.” 

Fred came to a stop in front of you, scowling at both of you. “Time to go.”

You hugged Tom quickly and then climbed into the cart. He had his hands out around you, ready to assist you if need be. Once you were settled inside, Tom hurriedly took his hat off and leaned in to kiss you. 

“Hey, hey! Put your hat back on, Tom! Don’t be even more of an idiot! This whole thing could come down at any time, you know.”

Tom kept peppering your lips with kisses, making you laugh and him smile, before he finally heeded Fred’s warning. He straightened up and slipped his hardhat back on, grabbing your hand and kissing it. “Take care of my girl, Fred. Get her back safe.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Fred muttered and started up the cart. 

Tom walked beside you, still holding your hand. “I can’t wait for later.”

You smirked. “I know you can’t.”

His cheeks darkened a little and he gave you a sheepish smile, letting out a laugh. “That, too, but I was talking about our date. I think you’re really going to love the place I picked out for us.”

Your smirk melted into a genuine smile. “I know I will because I love anything that comes from you.” You heard Fred snort next to you but you couldn’t care less. So what if you were being cheesy? It was Valentine’s Day and you meant what you said.

Tom’s smile grew and you could see it reaching his eyes. “I love you.” You both noticed you were about to make a turn that he couldn’t follow you down. He kissed your hand one more time and let you go. “See you tonight.”

“See you then. I love you, too,” you called back to him. You watched as he got further and further away, the last thing you saw being him holding his hand up in a wave as he smiled. You waved back before the cart completed the turn and he completely disappeared from your view. 

The date didn’t end up happening due to the collapse that happened later. Word of it spread fast once it happened and even though you knew Tom should be home by then, you still worried. Thankfully, he returned your call ten minutes later and told you what happened. You rushed right over to be with him, all plans for the night forgotten, though Eli was less than pleased. Apparently, word of your visit had spread around the mines well before you had made it to the top. 

“That girl is a problem!” Eli yelled. “She’s reckless! And now she’s made you reckless!”

Tom let go of your hand and jumped to his feet. “Don’t talk about her like that!”

You got up and hugged Tom’s arm, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. “Shhh,” you murmured. “Don’t. It’s not worth it. Okay?”

Eli didn’t like seeing that. His face got red and he was louder than before. “It’s like I’ve been telling you! That girl is only after one thing and that’s your money! When are you going to wake up, start using the other brain God gave you, and see it for yourself?” He threw his glass of Scotch at the wall, making you wince at the shattering sound, and left in a huff.

Tom went to follow him, to yell back at him, but you kept him there. “Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. He’s upset. Here, sit with me.” Tom did as you urged and you rested your chin on his shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He glanced over at you, his eyes glassy. “I think I really fucked up, Y/N.”

“What do you mean?”

“After you left, I went back to work. I was in the cage, adjusting my gear, when the condom and your underwear fell out. I forgot I had them. I picked them up as fast as I could and stuffed them back in but Harry Warden saw.” He shook his head. “He gave me a hard time about doing my job and I told him I had it, I knew what I was doing. They now think he’s one of the miners trapped. He’s unaccounted for.” He compulsively swallowed and turned to look at you, a tear rolling down his cheek. “I forgot to bleed the lines,” he whispered.

Your eyes couldn’t get any wider if they tried. You reached out to wipe his tear away as you tried to rein in your reaction. 

“I was thinking about our date tonight, about you, and I got distracted. I forgot to do the one thing I’m supposed to do every day before I leave. This collapse happened because of me,” he choked out before breaking down. You pulled him into you, holding him and shushing him, whispering reassurances to him. All while the heavy truth settled down around you and began to constrict your chest. It wasn’t Tom’s fault; it was yours.

It didn’t surprise you one bit a few weeks later when Tom broke up with you. He explained it as there was a lot happening, he was being blamed for the murders of the other miners that Harry committed, and his dad told him he just needed to continue working and keep his head down. No distractions. Which meant no more you, though Tom never actually said it but you knew that’s what he was implying Eli had told him.

It broke your heart when he broke it off between you but you understood. Tom had basically become a pariah overnight. Once he admitted to the investigators that he forgot to bleed the lines, the town he’d lived in his whole life turned against him. Harry may have done the actual killing, but it was Tom who’d put Harry in that position in the first place, or so they’d said. Some folks even gave you dirty looks in town as well but it was nothing compared to how Tom was treated. While you loved him and wanted to stay together, you could understand if he needed some space. You let him go with a hug, telling him you were still around if he needed a friendly ear, trying your best not to let any tears fall so you wouldn’t make him feel worse. His jaw had clenched but he nodded, choked out a “Thanks”, and walked to his car. You watched as he left, remembering back to the image of him getting further and further away from the mine cart you were in. Once he disappeared down the street, you finally let out the tears you’d been holding onto. A sob tore its way out of your throat when you remembered he had held up his hand in a wave, smiling, while you smiled and waved back. Because all you could think about was what you thought in that moment: Let this be the last time we separate like this. 

And as luck and Eli Hanniger would have it, in the next month or so, rumors spread that Tom Hanniger was now dating Sarah Mercer. You didn’t want to believe them, to believe that he’d finally pushed you aside for one of the girls you’d both grown up with who always had a gooey-eyed expression for Tom, the girl his father had wanted him to date in the first place. You didn’t want to believe that he would be so quick to throw away what the two of you had just to make his father happy. But deep down, you knew it was true. Tom had always wanted to get his father’s approval and he always had a soft spot for Sarah so why wouldn’t it be true? You could even understand a little, considering what had happened and Tom was in the hot seat with every resident of Harmony, thanks to you. But it still hurt like hell. You still loved him enough, though, to hope that he was happy. 

You pushed those thoughts out of your head. No use in continuing to blame yourself now. It didn’t change anything. “Are you okay…being here?”

He seemed a little caught off guard at the change of subject but then he glanced back at the tunnel entrance. “Yeah.” He turned back to you. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

You nodded and dropped your gaze to the ground, not sure what else to say. 

“Did you bring your hardhat this time?”

Your head snapped up and he was giving you half a smile, his eyes having that familiar teasing gleam in them. You couldn’t help but smile back, appreciating the attempt at levity and familiarity. “Did you?”

He snickered and shook his head, biting at his lip.

You chuckled and took a step closer. “How are you really, Tom?”

His smile faded. “Better.” He then briefly dropped his eyes. “Sarah. She helps.”

Your smile dropped altogether and you could feel that stinging sensation in your eyes again. “Oh.” You bit the inside of your cheek to keep tears from welling up. You didn’t even know what to say to that. “I’m glad, I guess.”

His expression fell and he took a step closer. “I didn’t mean—”

You took a step backwards, your hand up. “It’s okay. Really. I’m happy that she’s able to do that for you.” You took a breath. “I should go. Rina and the girls are waiting on me, so… Good to see you, Tom. I’m glad you’re doing well.” You gave him a wan smile and turned to leave.

“Y/N, wait. Y/N.”

You continued walking, eager to put some distance between you two until you could rein in your emotions. While Tom and Sarah might go off in their own section of the mine, you also might have to see them together. And you needed to prepare for that, especially with your last memories of the time you were here and all that occurred after. 

You were halfway to the entrance when you heard a scream. You stopped short, wondering if it had just been someone fooling around and having fun though it sounded terrified. You heard it again and before you knew it, people were running out of the tunnel at a fast speed, hurrying to their cars. “Oh no,” you gasped when you realized something was wrong, thinking another collapse must have happened. “Rina.” 

You were just about to run towards the tunnel when a strong hand gripped your arm, whipping you around to face Tom. “I don’t know what this is,” he said. “But get out of here. Go back to your car and get the hell away. As fast as you can.”

“What? No! I can’t leave! Rina, Taylor, and Destiny are in there! We came together!”

He framed your face with his hands. “Y/N, listen to me. You need to go. It could be another collapse.” He released you and urged you to go.

“No! I told you, I—”

Just then there were more screams as more people ran out. Tom turned back to you. “I have to go get Sarah. Run back to your car, Y/N! Do the same as these people! I’ll catch up with you later!”

Your eyes widened. “What? No, Tom! If you’re telling me not to go in, you’re not going, either!”

He went to answer you when a guy running past you yelled, “There’s some crazy guy in there killing everybody! Run!”

You and Tom glanced at one another, both shocked. Neither of you knew who the guy was talking about or why this was happening. But that didn’t matter. Screw holding your tears back. “Tom,” you sobbed. “I can’t lose you, okay? I know you want to go save Sarah but she’s probably hiding somewhere with Rina and the girls and they’ll be safe, okay?” You knew that probably wasn’t the case and it was wrong of you not to let him run in to help but you were terrified of losing him. “Please, don’t go in! Please!”

“I’ve got to go! I’ve got to get her! I’m sorry!” He yanked his arm out of your grip and turned to leave.

“I’m going, too! I can help!” 

You didn’t make it two feet until you were picked up and placed back down in front of Tom who was ducking his head to look you in the eye. “I can’t lose you, either, okay? I need to know you’re safe. Please, sweetheart, go get in your car and drive out of here.” He picked up a flashlight someone had dropped while running. “I’m going to get Sarah and get out of here myself. If I see Rina and the others, I’ll grab them, too. I’ll meet you at the hospital. There’s probably going to be a lot of people who need help.”

“That’s why I should stay. I may be pre-med but I can—”

He huffed out a breath and leaned down to kiss you. As he had probably planned, it stunned you. He placed his forehead against yours. “Go, baby,” he murmured. “To the hospital. We’ll be right behind you.”

Before you could say anything else, he hightailed it down to the tunnel, running past people who were still spilling out of the entrance but in fewer and fewer numbers. The last thing you saw was him disappearing inside before you turned and ran back to your car. You didn’t feel right leaving, especially with your friends and Tom still in the tunnel, but you would do as he asked. You’d already selfishly distracted him once; you wouldn’t do so again.     

You rang the bell of the Hanniger household for the third time, feeling impatience and worry gnawing at you. 

You shouldn’t have been surprised when a swaying Eli finally opened the door or that it was only 1:00 in the afternoon yet he was this inebriated. If he were a better man — a better father even — you might feel sorry for him. His mines weren’t doing too well these days. 

“What do you want?” He slurred out.

You lifted your chin. “I’m here to see your son.”

He snorted. “You mean my fuckup of a son?” He held the door wider in invitation.

You stepped in before he could change his mind. “No, your son. Not his fuckup of a father,” you spat before storming off to find Tom. 

“Sure, come into my house and talk to me like that! You kids have no goddamn respect these days!” He yelled.

You spun around and yelled back, “Go and get another drink, Eli! That’s all you care about anyway!”

“You little bitch!”

You ignored him and ran upstairs to Tom’s room. You found the door closed and you gently knocked. “Tom?”

No answer. 

You knocked again. “Tom, it’s me.” You briefly closed your eyes, remembering things were different than they had been the last time you were here. “Y/N.”

A moment later, Tom opened the door and stood there. He did not look well. He had deep, dark circles under his eyes as if he hadn’t slept since what happened. His face was drawn, pale, and it was obvious he hadn’t shaved for a bit. His hair looked as if he had just recently run his fingers through it. He was in a hoodie, sweat pants, and socks. It was hard to tell in this light but it looked like he had lost a little weight.

“Hey.” His voice sounded rough, as if he either hadn’t been using it for a while or he had been yelling and near losing it. You hoped it was the former. If it was the latter, then that could mean possible night terrors and you didn’t want that for him. 

“Hey. Is it okay if I come in?”

He nodded and walked away, leaving the door open. After you closed it behind you, you noticed he was trying to cover the messy bed with the blanket. You noticed a stale smell, as if a window hadn’t been opened in some time, and you spied dirty plates spotting the landscape of his room. You also took note of a half-empty bottle of liquor on his desk. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting company.”

“That’s okay. Don’t worry about it” You laid a tentative hand on his back as he moved and was pleased to see him not immediately shirk it off. After what happened with Harry Warden in the tunnel, for a while he hadn’t wanted anyone touching him. “I just came to see how you’re doing.”

“Not great,” he muttered, turning to sit on his bed. You took a seat next to him, waiting for him to elaborate. “I don’t know what to do, Y/N,” he eventually confessed. “I see him everywhere. I see him when I sleep, I see him when I’m awake. I see him everywhere I go, no matter who’s around, night or day. I don’t know what to do.”

Harry had woken from his coma that night and gone on a killing spree. First at the hospital and then at the mines. Right to the Valentine’s Day party that was being thrown. He didn’t care who he came across, Harry killed them one by one. Sadly, Destiny and Taylor hadn’t made it. Rina had; she was injured but she’d survived. Sarah, Axel, and Irene made it, too, though they were traumatized. They were all traumatized, just like Tom. Tom, who had gone back for Sarah, urged her to run out of there with Axel, and had nearly gotten killed for it. When you thought about how close you came to losing him… You really didn’t want to think about it.

You carefully placed a hand on his bicep and when he didn’t tense, you rubbed your thumb back and forth soothingly. “Have you given any more thought to seeing someone…and talking about it?”

He pulled away from you and ran a hand down his face. “They’re just going to think I’m crazy and want to throw me on meds.”

“Maybe not,” you whispered. “You’ve been traumatized, Tom. They might give you medication to help you sleep but trauma isn’t something that has a magic cure all. I’m not a doctor but I would think that they’ll probably recommend therapy. I mean, is Harry…talking to you when you see him?”

“No, Y/N, I’m not hearing voices in my head if that’s what  you’re asking,” he snapped before getting up and walking away.

“Tom, that’s not what I— I’m sorry, I know you’re not hearing voices. I was only trying to make you feel better by ruling it out. That’s all.”

He shook his head and ran his hand through his hair. He glanced down at you, his jaw tight. “I’m glad you came here today. You should know, I’ve decided to leave town.”

You were immediately on your feet. “And go where?”

He shrugged. “Wherever that isn’t here.” He moved over to the bed and threw off one corner of the blanket to reveal a bag he had been packing. “I can’t stay here, Y/N. It’s too much. Maybe if I can get far enough away…”

“He won’t follow you,” you finished, still staring at the half-packed bag. You almost had to wonder if he would have told you if you hadn’t shown up today. He hid the bag from you for a reason; he knew you wouldn’t want him to leave.

You should’ve known it was coming to this or Tom would have a full on breakdown. First, he broke up with Sarah. Then he withdrew from the public altogether. Now, he was holed up in his room, never leaving it, and repeatedly being terrified and thus re-traumatized each time he saw Harry. Something had to give; he needed to get out of here. 

You felt a lump forming in your throat at the idea of him leaving but you swallowed it back down just as fast. This wasn’t about you. If this was what Tom needed, you would support him. You met his gaze. “Will you call me once you get to where you’re going? Just so I know you made it safely and that you’re okay?”

His eyes softened and he came towards you, cupping your face. “You’ve always understood me. Better than anyone else in this goddamn town.” You noticed he didn’t answer your question and you had a feeling that he planned to leave permanently, never looking back. This time, you couldn’t prevent the lump from forming in your throat or the tears building in your eyes.

“Are you going to be okay?” You nearly winced at the breaks in your voice.

“I will be,” he whispered before pulling you into him and pressing a kiss to the side of your head. Sighing into your ear, he hugged you tightly. “I will be.”

You burrowed into him further, whispering against his shirt, “I love you, Tom. I’ll love you forever.”

You knew he heard you when he murmured back to you, “I love you, too, sweetheart. Always will.” You could hear the breaks in his own voice but still, you smiled. As painful as this was going to be, as heartbreaking as it was, Tom still loved you, just as much as you loved him. Always…and forever.

You were just finishing up notes in a patient file when someone knocked on your open door and stuck their head into your office. You glanced up to find a familiar face and smiled.

“Well, if it isn’t Dr. Y/L/N,” he said, waltzing in.

You closed the file and took off your glasses. “Well, if it isn’t Deputy Martin,” you laughed. He handed you a cup of coffee. “Aww, thank you. You don’t know how much I needed this.” 

“No problem. You still take it that way, right?”

You took a sip. “I do,” you smiled. 

“So, how’s things in the world of psychiatry?” He took a seat on the edge of your desk.

“Interesting. As always. How about you? How’s things in the law enforcement world?”

“Interesting. As always.”

You chuckled and took another sip of your coffee. “So, what brings you to my side of the hospital? And bearing gifts, no less?”

He shrugged. “I was in the neighborhood and figured I’d check in.”

“Oh? That’s nice.” Chris pressed his lips together and you tilted your head at him, knowing what that little tic meant. “Uh oh. What’s going on?”

He smirked, shaking his head. “I hate it when you do that.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Then don’t be so obvious. I know you too well, Chris. Come on, tell me. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just… I was wondering if you knew that Tom was back in town.”

Your smile immediately dropped and you placed the coffee down. You put your glasses back on and opened the file back up, holding the pen in your hand as you glanced over your notes. “Yeah. I heard he was here.”�� 

How could you not? It was a small town after all. News and gossip spread faster than wildfire here. The word on the street was that Tom was back to sell the mines and no one was happy about that.

When you didn’t hear anything else, you glanced up to find Chris giving you a knowing look. “What?”

“Has he been by to see you?”

Well, that hurt. You knew Chris wasn’t asking you that to hurt you but it didn’t mean the question still didn’t cause you pain. You shook your head and went back to your file. “No. And I don’t expect he will be.” 

Ben had already complained down at the local bar, before Tom even showed up, that the damn kid was going to sell the mines and Eli would be turning over in his grave if he knew. He was only coming into town to sign the paperwork and then he’d be off again to God knew where. He’d even assured everyone he switched the paper signing until the Monday following Tom’s arrival, in hopes that he could get him to change his mind. 

When you heard Tom was coming back, you didn’t get your hopes up though your heart lightened at the news. You hadn’t seen or heard from Tom in ten years. He’d literally pulled a disappearing act. While you expected it, it still hurt that he never once called or wrote to you to let you know that he was still alive. Not once.

Besides, you already knew who he’d dropped in to see the minute he hit town. You supposed one needed groceries and toiletries, that sort of thing, if they were going to stay for a weekend they hadn’t initially planned on. And the fact that Sarah now ran the store and was there practically all day every day was just a coincidence.

You knew better of course and you couldn’t pretend like it didn’t break your heart just a little more. So, no, you didn’t expect to see him at all. And as much as it hurt to admit it to yourself, it was probably for the best. 

While a part of you still loved Tom and always would, you now had the benefits of maturity, age, and experience. When you looked back on your relationship, it had been one of intense young love and folly for you, first love even. And while you had more compassion and understanding along with a more detached view of things through a different lens now, you could admit there were some things that occurred that weren’t so great. For example, your decision to surprise him in the mines for a Valentine’s Day quickie, all because you loved him so much and was desperate to do whatever it took to keep him with you. You’d put both of you at risk and while Tom was an adult who was responsible for his own decisions, you still took responsibility for being the one to initiate the whole thing. It had been your idea after all. Then there had been his breaking it off with you and choosing to date Sarah not even a month later. While he was single and an adult, free to make his own decisions, the fact that he did it partially to please his father was not an okay reason in your book to hurt you and toss you aside as if you meant nothing. As the adage went, hindsight was truly 20/20. You were no longer that young, foolish girl anymore. If Tom wanted to see you, he would see you. If he didn’t, then he didn’t. It was that simple. You weren’t going to sway things one way or the other.

“Come on, Y/N. I know you just as well. You’re telling me, you don’t hope he stops by before he skips town again?”

You smiled up at Chris. “Not in the slightest.”

You threw on your lab coat, lifting your hair out of the neckline. You twisted your hair up into a bun and stuck a pen through it. You placed your stethoscope around your neck and then traded your heels for the nurse’s shoes you kept in a desk drawer for situations like these.

There had been an explosion at the mines and it was an all hands on deck situation in the ER. So far, two survivors had been found and were being brought in. They were still clearing the mines to make sure no one else had been hurt. You were getting ready to lock up your office and head down to see what you could do to help. 

You were grabbing pens to put in your pocket, tossing a red pen back into the drawer, when out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a figure in the doorway.

“Doc,” a man gasped.

“I’m sorry. I’m about to run down to the ER. There’s been an emergency in town and all doctors are needed. I can find you a nurse if you—”

You dropped the remaining pens in your hand when you glanced up to find a bleeding Tom Hanniger standing in your doorway, holding onto his side. “Tom,” you gasped, frozen. 

His pained glare suddenly transformed into one of the most terrifying smirks you had ever seen in your life. “Guess again.” He then shut the door behind him, locking it, before he started making his way over to you. 

You rushed off the elevator, hurrying over to where a bloodied Sarah was nervously pacing in the surgery waiting room. You noticed Chris was with her as was Deputy Ferris. Sarah’s little boy, Noah, was sitting on one of the seats behind her, playing quietly with his toy.

“Sarah,” you called.

She turned to see you approaching and immediately hurried over to you, throwing her arms around you, beginning to cry. You rubbed her back soothingly and shushed her. “You’re alright now.”

Sarah pulled back out of your embrace. “Tom, he’s… He’s gone.”

You pressed your lips together, your eyes tearing up. “I know,” you choked out. Based on what you had just seen and heard, you knew she was speaking the truth.

She hugged you again and you embraced her back tightly, tears rolling down your cheeks as you saw Chris watching you both. You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a quiet sob when you heard Sarah crying again. You both held each other as you both quietly mourned the Tom you both had loved.

You unlocked your office door and stepped inside before locking it again. You began to empty your pockets of the supplies you’d nabbed when a figure moved from behind a filing cabinet in the far corner and appeared in your vision, making you quietly gasp.

There stood Tom, still holding his wounded side. “What took so long?” He demanded.

Your jaw tightened as you remembered who you were dealing with now. “Sorry, Harry. I had to get supplies without causing any eyebrows to raise. That takes time. Now, come sit down.”  

He warily approached and sat down on the edge of the desk as you directed. You snapped gloves on and he moved his hand away from his side when you prompted him to. He hissed in pain as you began to prod at the bullet wound.

“Can you fix me up or not?” He growled.

“Well, Harry, as I told you, I’m not a surgeon. But I will do my best.” You began to gently wipe away the blood, from both the entry and exit sites. “The good news is it looks like the bullet went straight through.”

“I told you that,” he snapped.

“Yes and I’m confirming it,” you snapped back. It was very strange to have someone you hated so much inside of the body of the person you loved most. 

“Just do your goddamn job, Doc.”

You snapped up straight and looked him right in the eye. “Let’s get something straight, the only reason I’m helping you right now is because of Tom. I could care less what happens to you, you son of a bitch.”

He gave you that smirk again that made your blood run cold. “And let’s get something else straight. If you don’t fix me up, I’ll kill you. Got it?”

You didn’t answer him. Instead, you grabbed a pad of gauze, dumped some of your finest alcohol on it, and slapped it onto the injury site, making him yell out in pain. You smirked in satisfaction though inside you felt guilty. Sorry, Tom. You really wished you could expel Harry from him, like he was some sort of demon you could exorcise. 

“Sorry about that.” You were anything but. “I have to clean the site before I inspect it for further damage.”

His chest was heaving and he was glaring at you. “Just do your job, bitch. Or you’re dead,” he grunted.

You huffed out a snort and repeated the process with the exit site, making him grit his teeth, a pained yell straining against them. You proceeded to make sure there wasn’t any critical damage that you could see and then went about starting to suture the wound. You ignored the grunts and gritting of his teeth the entire time and just focused on falling back on your training. You’d barely flinched when he started drinking your booze. (it was his fault he wouldn’t let you use any needles to apply local anesthetics) When you were done, you snipped the loose tail of the sutures and then bandaged up the area. You quickly cleaned and bandaged the wounds on his face and treated any burns he might have. The entire time you did, you felt pain and remorse for Tom for each wound you found that would now scar his body. Though you supposed scars were a small price to pay considering the explosion he’d been in that could have killed him. Your jaw clenched at the thought and you hated Harry even more. 

You finished cleaning him up and threw out the last bit of bloody gauze. “It’s probably a waste of time to say this to you but you need to take it easy with that bullet wound, keep the area clean, and come back in two weeks to have the sutures removed. If any extreme bleeding occurs, you should get to the ER immediately. If the sutures pop out, you should do the same. If you start to develop a fever or other—”

“Yeah, Doc, I got it.” He slowly got to his feet and held a hand to his side. “Not bad.”

You took off your gloves and threw them to the side, crossing your arms. “Am I free to go now?”

His eyes snapped over to you and you could swear you could see a whole other person. In Tom’s eyes, the eyes you loved, you saw Harry, and they were darker and harder than Tom’s green could ever be. Tom clearly wasn’t the one in the driver’s seat, even if his behavior and personality right then weren’t already making that obvious. “For now. But if you screw me over, I’m coming back for you.” A hint of a smirk appeared on his face as if he enjoyed that idea, almost hoping you would give him the excuse. 

You knew he was waiting for you to tremble in fear at his threat but you didn’t. “Truly, Harry, I hope I never see you again.” With that, you walked out of your office and you refused to give him the satisfaction of looking back.

You knocked on the open room door and stuck your head in. “Hey,” you greeted with a small smile.

Axel and Sarah both glanced over and saw you.

“Hey.” Axel faintly smiled. 

Sarah got up and gave you another hug. You rubbed her shoulder as she returned to her seat next to her husband and you came to a stop at the foot of the bed. “So, how’s the patient?”

“He’s doing well.” Sarah smiled as she took Axel’s hand in hers. “He’ll be in here for a little while but then he can come home.” Axel turned his smile onto her. You glanced back and forth between them. Apparently, that marriage was no longer on the rocks. You were glad for Sarah’s sake, though you still thought she could do better. Despite how things went with Tom, you didn’t blame her or hold her responsible. She had always been kind to you, good to Tom, and you knew she was a decent person. You could almost understand why Tom had loved her so much.

You forced a smile onto your face. “Glad to hear it.”

Another knock on the door garnered your attention. You turned to see Chris walk in. He came to a stop next to you. “Hey, Sheriff. Sarah. Y/N.”

“Hey,” Axel greeted. You gave him a nod and Sarah gave him a smile.

He turned to look at you but you were already steps ahead of him. “Did you do as I asked?”

He nodded. “Picked him up about an hour ago. Had to ask for that town’s sheriff to help but we got him. And he doesn’t know it has anything to do with you. We purposely mentioned in front of him that a store owner from that town called it in after recognizing him from the news.”

“Thanks.” He gave you another nod.

“Wait, what are you two talking about?” Axel asked. Sarah looked just as curious while also fearful.

You pressed your lips together and Chris turned to face his boss. “We picked up Tom Hanniger in the next town over. We have him in custody and we’re starting processing.”

Both of their eyes went wide. “Tom’s alive?” Sarah gasped.

The deputy exchanged glances with you. “In a way but he goes by Harry now.”

“Shit,” Axel breathed. “You need to call in every reinforcement. We don’t have the manpower to hold him.”

Chris held up a placating hand. “It’s already done but trust me, we’ve got him locked down. As it is, the DA and the Judge are deciding what to do with him.” He looked over at you.

“Deciding what to do with him? What does that mean?” Axel’s eyes were on you, too.

“Harmony isn’t the place for Tom to be right now. It’s his trigger and that’s why Harry is currently in control. I’ve asked for a meeting with the DA and Judge Harrison as well as the Chief of my department to discuss Tom’s case.” You took a breath, knowing this next part wasn’t going to go over well. “We’re looking to get him moved to a maximum security psychiatric hospital up North.”

“Are you kidding me?” Axel started to sit up but grunted in pain. 

Sarah got up and gently pushed his shoulder down. “Axel, be careful. You just had major surgery yesterday.”

“Sheriff, easy. You’re still healing,” Chris chimed in. 

He ignored both of them. “After all of the people he’s killed? People are going to want justice and to see it done here in Harmony.”

You could feel an age-old anger welling up inside of you but you tried to tamp it back down. “He’s not mentally competent to stand trial, Axel.”

“Not mentally competent? Really? That’s the excuse we’re going with here? He was mentally competent when he killed those people! When he lied about it and tried to cover it up and blame me! When he attacked me and my wife, about to kill us! When killed Rosa and came for my son!” He gripped onto Sarah’s hand.

“I understand that. But the law states—”

“No offense, Y/N,” Axel interrupted. “But you’re not an expert on the law. Leave that to people like Judge Harrison who actually know the law.” Well, so much for you keeping that anger and resentment in check.

“None taken. And no offense, Axel, but you’re not an expert in psychological disorders, either. Leave that to people like myself who know what we’re talking about,” you snapped.

Chris laid a gentle hand on your shoulder and held up his other hand in Axel’s direction. “Hey, hey, now. We’re all on the same team here. We all want the same thing.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Do we?” He dropped his hand. You then glared over at Axel and Sarah. “Let’s not pretend like you two and Irene didn’t leave Tom there to die back when Harry was on a killing spree which severely traumatized him and that’s why all of this happened in the first place! That’s what started this whole thing!”

Sarah looked ashamed and stayed quiet. Your ire wasn’t really for her anyway. You knew she had been wanting to go back to help Tom before Harry threw that pickaxe. Axel, on the other hand, saw red. “Are you kidding me? We were about to be killed! I had to get her and Irene out of there! Tom would have done the same had it been him and it would’ve been the right thing to do! Regardless, it doesn’t excuse anything that Tom or Harry or whatever the fuck he calls himself now did! And us leaving him alone started this? No, let’s talk about really started this whole thing off! You decided to go down into the mines to give your boy toy a little nookie, he got distracted and forgot to clear the lines, then boom! The mines collapsed on top of Harry Warden and the others and that’s what really started this off! Because Harry wouldn’t have been in the mines a year later, killing people, and nothing would have happened to Tom or any of us! So you want to play the blame game? Look in the mirror, Y/N!” Sarah was softly telling him to stop but he ignored her. “Oh, and let’s not pretend that you’re not doing anything but trying to make excuses for the guy you’re still hung up on after all these years who didn’t give a fuck about you and dropped you like a bad habit the minute his daddy told him to! Who left you behind to rot!”

Your left eye was starting to twitch, something that only happened when you were either very stressed or very angry. Right then, it was definitely the latter. Sarah’s gaze was trained on her hand covering her husband’s and Chris was looking down at the footboard. You forced yourself to speak calmly but firmly. “That has nothing to do with this. It has to do with helping someone who needs help. I’m simply doing my job and the right thing at the same time. When was the last time you could say the same for yourself, Axel?” His jaw clenched but he stayed quiet and you gave him the worst glare you could summon up. “Get well soon.”

You turned and walked out of the room. You were right about one thing; Sarah could do better.

You were waiting for the elevator when you heard Chris come up behind you, laying a hand on your shoulder to stop you. “Hey, hey, hey.” You spun around to face him and he rubbed his thumb back and forth over the fabric of your coat. “Are you okay?”

You unclenched your jaw long enough to say, “I’m fine.”

He nodded and lowered his hand. “You know, it’s no excuse for the things he said but Axel’s in pain right now, he’s not thinking straight, and they just went through another traumatic experience of their own. And they have their son, who was there when Rosa was killed. He’s just dealing with a lot.”

“I get that, Chris. I do. But Tom didn’t do those things, Harry did.”

He sighed and put his hands on his hips. “Y/N, I’m not disagreeing with you but Tom did lie, he covered it up. Like the motel killings. Did Harry drive away from the scene, ignoring the trucker’s dead body in the lot, before we arrived or did Tom?” 

You shook your head, looking away from him.

“I know Tom means a lot to you and I respect that. I know you have history and you want to help him.” He cupped your chin and forced you to meet his eyes. “But I also care about you. I don’t want to see you get hurt. There’s a possibility that Tom himself may not be who you actually think he is. Who any of us thought he was growing up.”

You gently lowered his hand. “Chris, I appreciate your concern and I know we had…something between us for a while. And I’m grateful that you helped me earlier, I really am. But I know Tom. He’s not a killer. He’s not Harry. Harry only exists because of the trauma he suffered. He doesn’t even know who he’s killed or what’s happened. I need to get him out of this town so I can begin working to get him back.”

Chris sighed and studied you for a moment. “Then how did he know about Megan and the words written above her body?”

“He got it from the card she wrote. You told me that yourself, Chris, because Sarah told you about it.”

“No, I mean, if Tom saw the card and Harry killed Megan and wrote those words in her blood, then how did Tom know they were written above her body?”

You realized he was making a good point but that didn’t change your mission. “I don’t know, but I intend to find out.” You then got onto the elevator that had just arrived, you and Chris watching each other as the doors closed.

Tom didn’t remember how he got here. He didn’t even remember waking up. One moment, Harry was about to attack him and Sarah wouldn’t save him, again. The next moment, he was in a white t-shirt and white pajama pants, stuck in a cell that looked strangely familiar. Had he dreamt all of it? Going back to Harmony, seeing Sarah again, dealing with that asshole Axel, trying to figure out who the killer was — all of it —had it all been one big nightmare?

He soon realized that wasn’t the case. His lawyer came to see him and informed him of the things he’d been accused of (after the man had been contacted to come back and speak to his actual client). As of right now, he was found to be mentally unfit to stand trial thanks to an impassioned argument by his doctor as well as himself. But that could change at any time. Tom insisted he hadn’t done those horrific things, that Harry Warden did, but nobody seemed to believe him or was even listening.

For the first few days, Tom had been desperate. A doctor came in and met with him, asked him how he was feeling, and then fully explained the disorder he had been diagnosed with. It turned out that he had been misdiagnosed in the last institution he had been in and improperly medicated. That was why the medication never worked. They had been treating him for delusions when in reality he had Dissociative Identity Disorder. He was going to be starting a therapy regimen as soon as possible. Harry had already been involuntarily involved in the program since his arrival here. The doctor also informed him that they had to keep Harry heavily sedated but depending on how things went with Tom, they might not have to do the same with him.

Tom had been completely dumbfounded. It was bad enough that he still carried the trauma of what happened back in ‘98 and it had followed him around for a decade, literally, but now Harry had become a permanent part of him? He would now never be able to outrun Harry. Not to mention, he was now officially on the hook for multiple murders thanks to the surly son of a bitch, even after what happened in 1997 and then a year later when he woke from his coma. Tom’s body count was extensive and he himself hadn’t even done anything. Well, except forget to bleed the lines that one time which led to the collapse that then started all of this, he supposed. So maybe he truly was responsible for all of those people’s horrific deaths, whether he swung the pickaxe himself or not.

One morning before the therapy began, they came to get him and brought him to a room that looked strikingly similar to a police interrogation room, with the two-sided mirror and everything, though there was white padding on the walls. He protested when they strapped him into a straitjacket but they told him it was for his own safety as well as the doctor’s. As if that weren’t enough, two large orderlies picked corners of the room to stand in, watching his every move. 

Someone popped their head in to tell Tom his doctor would be meeting with him shortly, they were just finishing up with another patient. All Tom could do was nod. “Thanks,” he muttered.

A few minutes later, the doctor he’d been waiting for walked in. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw it was you. You gave him a small smile and took the seat opposite him. “Hello, Tom. I’m Dr. Y/N Y/L/N. How are we feeling today?”

“Um…okay.” He was still trying to recover from the shock of seeing you there. He hadn’t seen you since that night all of those years ago, right before he left town. He also thought you were working at Harmony Memorial last he heard, a pit stop he planned to make once he’d signed the papers to sell the mines. That is, before everything went to shit. “Y/N? What’s going on?”

“It’s Dr. Y/L/N,” you corrected. “And nothing’s going on. I’m here to evaluate you before we start your therapy regimen.” You opened a file and began glancing at the papers within. “The court requires it.”

Tom felt so lost. It had been hard enough waking up to what he did but now you were here? Clearly his doctor? And you were pretending not to know him? He didn’t know what to think or where to stick his head. “This can’t be real,” he said to himself and shook his head. “This can’t—”

“Shhh,” you soothed. “It’s okay, Tom. This is very real and we’re going to help you.” You clicked your pen and began making notes in his chart. 

“Yeah, but you— You’re— And you’re pretending like— This can’t be real.”

Your eyes snapped up to his and you stopped writing. He didn’t know what you saw but you got to your feet and circled the table. You snapped your fingers and both orderlies looked away. “Actually, Tom, there’s something I forgot to mention.” You came up behind him and his nerves began to spike. Was he about to be drugged? Attacked? Would he finally wake up from this nightmare? Maybe he’d wake up to you; he’d give anything to have that happen. 

He jumped a little when he felt your lips at his ear. “I’ll love you forever,” you whispered.

Automatically, the corner of Tom’s lips tipped up in a smile. Hearing that from you brought back so many good memories of your times together, of your relationship. He didn’t instantly relax but he felt a little lighter than he had a moment ago. 

“Welcome back, Tom. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too, sweetheart,” he whispered back to you.

His smile grew when he felt you brush a tender kiss to the side of his head before you straightened up and made your way back around the table. You snapped your fingers again and the orderlies were now facing forward, watching you both intently. 

You sat back down and picked up your pen, giving him a genuine smile. “Now, Tom, shall we get started?”

He wished he could reach across the table and take your hand in his. You still looked at him as you did all of those years ago, like he didn’t have a murderous personality that left pain and suffering and dead bodies in its wake. You still looked at him as if he was the same guy you’d given your heart and body to back in high school. The same guy you’d once told that after you finished med school (when you got in), that you’d want to settle down with him and eventually start a family with him. The same guy you said you’d move wherever whenever for him if he didn’t want to stay in Harmony, if he didn’t want to take over for his dad one day. The same guy you looked at with complete devotion, affection, and reverence that he knew he didn’t deserve. And with you looking at him just like that right now, he knew he still didn’t deserve it but God did he love you for it. You still loved him; it was clear as day in your eyes. He realized then that you had meant back then every single word of what you just said; you would love him forever. He had meant what he said to you back then, too. Though he never should’ve given you up when his old man demanded it. What the hell had he been thinking?

You arched your brows at him expectantly, almost as if you knew what he had been thinking. 

He leaned forward a little and gave you a soft smile, hoping you would understand what he was trying to tell you. “Always.”

You returned his smile, giving him a wink. You’d heard him. He began to relax and your smile then turned into a more professional one. “That’s what I like to hear. Alright, Tom. Let’s begin, shall we?”

A/N: For the record, I highly doubt Y/N could have been Tom's doctor, especially since a prosecutor could have argued that it was a conflict of interest and possibly gotten any records she'd made inadmissible. I think, anyway. But it was too fun an idea not to explore. Plus, I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that someone who has been diagnosed with DID is not incapable of being tried by the law for crimes committed, even if it was committed by one of their alters and they are completely innocent (I think). But I couldn't just have Tom go straight to jail in this one or even to trial. I wanted to focus on him coming back and Y/N helping him as well as their sort of reunion.

dividers by @firefly-graphics

[teleit]

Who would be the best ruler of Westeros? Me, I have the desire to do good deeds, even when others beg for mercy

Jokes aside, but really - who? The show actively tells me that Rhaenyra is the only possible option, because this woman glows in the dark from all the blessings received from every god in existence and shits wisdom and greatness.

But is she? Let's hear my useless opinion.

First, where are we looking - at canon (the book), or at the screened fanfic (the show)?

In terms of canon, I think Jacaerys was the best option, but only because the other candidates were complete failures. The way Martin described this boy, even through the lens of the biased Black and Green sources, sounds promising. Yes, 90% of his decisions ended up being failures - he suggested recruiting more dragonriders from dragon seeds, and got Hugh and Ulf; he suggested sending Aegon III and Viserys to Pentos, and they were captured by the Triarchy; he went to rescue his brothers with a bunch of newbies who could barely stay on their dragons, and he ended up getting killed.

If it weren't for the circumstances of his birth, which would inevitably lead to a rebellion by the lords outraged by a bastard on the throne, Jacaerys might have been a good king. He just needed time to grow up.

But on the show? No one. No one at all. None of these people, they are all absolutely terrible.

Rhaenyra? That woman wouldn't know the word "responsibility" if it ambushed her in a parking lot and beat the crap out of her. She doesn't understand what ruling is even twenty years after being named heir, and she asks helplessly "what should I do?", wringing her hands at every difficulty. She does one stupid thing after another, driven by anything but common sense. If she were queen, we'd have another crisis in ten years or so.

Daemon? Lmao. No. That dude lived, fucked and died for shits and giggles, he can't be trusted with snow in the winter.

Jacaerys? That's the boy who solves problems with violence (pulling out a dagger when insulted, punching his uncle in the face when insulted, need I go on?), and loses every fight he starts. He doesn't speak Valyrian, constantly whines and cries to his fiancée and mother that he doesn't know what to do or how to be, and is practically useless during wartime (because his smart decisions were given to Rhaenyra, but that's another story).

Lucerys? Yeah, sure, how can you forget how he handled himself so perfectly at dinner when he should have just kept his mouth shut, but instead he decided that laughing at the crazy uncle he maimed and never apologized for was the height of comedy, better only fart jokes. That boy had one brain cell, and it was on permanent sick leave for the entire season.

Rhaenys? A woman who talks about the slavery of the patriarchy and submits to the decisions of her ambitious to the point of stupidity husband. Marrying her little daughter to her forty year old cousin? Why not. Losing two children because of Rhaenyra and Daemon, and continuing to serve their interests, even though they use her as they please, because Corlys hopes that someday it will pay off? Excellent solution, let's also scold husband for not loving his own bastards enough, and then die ingloriously and uselessly. Yes, the queen we deserve, Rhaenys the Spineless.

Aegon? He can only be a good king if a miracle happens and he stops listening to the idiots around him, gets rid of his mommy and daddy issues, and starts using his head for more than just pouring wine into mouth. Which won't happen, because the writers HATE this man. He'll be pathetic and useless, and then he'll die, because gods forbid there should be an equal fight between a woman and a man for the throne, a woman needs to kick a body sprawled on the ground, disarmed and incapacitated, so that everyone understands that she is superior to him in everything.

Aemond? Season 1 - maybe after a couple of years of therapy, Season 2 - no, he literally doesn't have a single thought in his head except "blood revenge hate aaarrrgghhh", and only occasionally do we see glimpses of a complex character, thanks to Ewan's insane talent.

Helaena? Poor girl, who was just like Aemond crippled by the script so much that even Martin couldn't stand it (Helaena will die just because, for no reason… wow, such deep character development…), give her her bugs and leave her alone.

In canon, the dance of the dragons is the result of well-intentioned stupidity of several generations, in the show - a parable of why incest is bad, just look at how much the mental capacity of people whose family tree looks like a wreath has suffered.

Ps. Still not native speaker and dgaf about mistakes, english can suck my imaginary dick

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

Then Kiss Me

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Mutg38s by ShlynneAsh A walk through hell on an unholy roadtrip. Martin gets a little lonely, he has a hot boyfriend, and maybe they can take just a stolen moment for themselves. or Jon ducked his face down once, in a nod. “Right. Okay…” He moved away. Martin started to panic, Did I make it weird? Jon had asked! Was it weird to want to kiss your boyfriend? Martin was just about to stand and say maybe he was ready to leave after all, but Jon was sliding his backpack off. He pulled the hair band out of his hair, letting it fall down over his shoulders. Martin felt the air leave his chest. How was this man able to leave him breathless, still? “Okay…” Jon breathed, looking back at Martin’s face. “Then kiss me.” Words: 2105, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: Canon-Typical Violence, Asexual Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, It Needed To Be Said, Season 5 Spoilers, C im looking at you, Kissing, Flirting, the eyes special little boy <3, no beta we die like, well like a lot of characters actually, some trouble in paradise, martin is alowed to be a little bitch, he deserves it, Fluff read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Mutg38s

[voidshrub]

Make a tierlist of Epithet Erased

https://tiermaker.com/create/epithet-erased-prison-of-plastic-1494482

Hi anon I did it

Added a few modifications here and there, mainly I think Gio's boys deserve their own tier and it's high up because I love them all :3

I feel like rambling a little bit so notes under the cut cause why not (And spoilers also)

Ok first of all. I was gonna give Lori S tier but also she makes me too angry sometimes. I love you Lori but girl. Girlie-

I was considering Feenie to have her own tier because she is like Jello's daughter and she is also very wonderful. But I was too lazy so she goes in A tier, only because I don't feel as strongly about her as I feel for the characters I put in S tier (same for Trixie)

Now that I think about it Naven should be in S tier he is so badass and awesome and I love him. But I am too sleepy to go back and fix the list so uhm pretend he is in the Correct tier :)

I forgot half of the season 1 cast existed I am so sorry I was simply sobbing uncontrollably over Giovanni being the absolute best dad ever to be conceived

The barcode dude is up there cause I really really like his design it's so rad

I don't like Zora that much that's why she's where she is I'm sorry. She has great motives for what she does very cool very interesting but I simply do not Vibe with her. Also she spit in Ramsey's mouth -points for that, big red buzzer noise

I actually didn't recognize Yoomtah until I read she was Naven's chauffer! She screams a lot and I don't have many Opinions on her existence yet but she seems relevant I think

Stink is where he is because he is Stink. End of discussion (and the minibosses are also there like that cause I don't have much of an opinion about them except that the dragon looks pretty neat)

The sheriff is down there cause he reminds me of Martin and I hate Martin. Sorry sheriff you did nothing wrong really (except misfire a gun I think)

Is that the uhhh. The mundie that threatens the Neo Trio at the start of PoP? Why is she here did I miss something. Or maybe she's different and I'm a little dumb (it's the sleep I will sleep I promise)

I think it is the Right Opinion to hate Martin. You should all hate Martin. My Various Hammers and White Hot Rage would like to have a few choice words with him. Violence is never the answer except when it is, which is now. Towards Martin. Fuck that guy

[littlepetbee]

alriiiight @seeinhindsight i thought long and hard and came up with a list idea for your reading and cheering up pleasure! one of my fav things in narratives is when the setting is inseparable from the story: it shapes it, it causes it, in some ways it is the story. or maybe, if we're lucky, the setting is almost a character itself.

so without further ado, here is A List Of Setting-Oriented Stories That I Love (in no particular order):

1) Here Today by Ann M. Martin: (Setting As Personhood and Protector) a gut-wrenching little middle-reader novel that has haunted me since i was 13 where a cul-de-sac full of weird outcast poor kids and their parents/neighbors are both harmed and held together by being from Witch Tree Lane. 10/10, have not stopped thinking about it for 20 years and upon reading it again in my 30s was happy to find that it holds up <3

2) IT by Stephen King: (The Horror of Setting) the novel and the movies are both really good, but when it comes to the setting aspect, the book wipes the floor with the movies. 1153 pages of how derry, maine eats people alive (sometimes literally), shapes them into what they were destined to be from the foundation of the world (for better or for worse), and creates the cycle of violence while also being the only way to break it. 9/10, mr. king, you and your cocaine are fucking crazy

3) Teen Wolf: (Setting As Villain) i'd be remiss not to put this on the list when it ruled my life for almost a decade, no? even in the batshittery that this show could be at times, you can't escape the fucking brilliance of beacon hills, california being a literal beacon for the supernatural, awoken by the heartfelt sacrifice of three kids that were willing to die to save their parents. god. if only jeff davis knew how to delve deep. we really could've had something there. 6/10, because s5 brings that shit wayyyy down

4) Outer Banks: (Setting As Motivation) i'm mostly drawing from season 1 since anything truly meaningful went out the window after that, BUT setting a treasure hunting story on an island where "you either have two jobs or two houses" is just. the best fucking decision they could've made. you see the stark contrast between Figure 8 and the rest of the island in the same light as the pogues do, informing their desperate (and sometimes bad) choices and rewarding these kids for not knowing when to quit. 10/10 for season 1, 5/10 as a whole

5) Low Tide: (Setting As Motivation 2.0) following up obx with this one because it's literally exactly the same thing lmao. once again teenagers, once again treasure hunting, once again a setting that breeds wealth inequality - in this case, a beach town where the rich swoop in for the summer and then get to leave, while the poor are stuck there forever, holding everything down. what can i say...when i like a theme, it'll always be the more the merrier. TWO CAKES, as they say. 7/10, thank you jaeden martell for my life

6) Feel The Beat: (Setting As Story Success) idk if that tagline makes sense, but i mean that if this cheesy little dance movie that i love with all of my stupid, sentimental, old lady heart was set anywhere other than Bootyass Nowhere, Wisconsin, it wouldn't have worked. sure, the same sort of plotline could play out, but it would be missing most of the heart, depth, realism, and casseroles that make it great. 10/10, no notes. and i really truly mean that.

7) Attack The Block: (Setting As Both Savior and Destroyer) this is a newer one (and it was on my last list lol) but it really fucking got me, guys. the backdrop of an alien invasion being a british housing estate where the people are already used to banding together against outside forces is a stroke of genius. and then the intersection of classism and racism and how they link up to punish the people that deserve it least...fuck. 8/10 as we established last time

8) Plan B: (America Is Hell) not a #deep and hard-hitting exploration of setting in any way, but a hard-hitting story so deeply american in nature that you can't really ever forget it during the entire runtime. it haunts the narrative at every single turn, from parties to pharmacies to rundown little dive bars and playgrounds after dark. the usa is its own special brand of Fucked and even our teen comedies can't escape it. 9/10, just because I Did Not Ask To See That Penis, Thanks

9) Tarzan: (Finding Yourself Through Setting) GENUINELY MY FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME! (and maybe where this whole Setting thing started for me? who knows.) just. the jungle as a place to get away from all the societal noise and expectations and rules and just learn to Be. to be and feel and love and make your own choices. and for once in the damn movie canon of the world, the heroine gets to stay! she gets to stay. she doesn't leave her happiness behind and even gets to keep her father, who stays with her too!! 10/10, god fucking bless my soul

9.5) also shoutout to The Legend Of Tarzan which is much, much different but a solid 8/10 because all tarzans are good tarzans :')

10) Joy Ride: (Setting As Suffocation) the vast majority of this horror/thriller movie happens either 1) inside a car or 2) inside a single hotel room and that makes it so much more terrifying. it really does feel suffocating and like there's nowhere to hide and no way to escape this angry faceless man growling at you over the radio. guh, i'm shuddering just thinking about it. 8/10, when will boys stop being so stupid

the end <3

[esther-dot]

I have seen different takes of Sansan and how they react to the Hound abusing Sansa. Those who believe that Sansa deserves to be punished and marry Hound are actually Sansa antis. Some believe that what Hound was doing is teaching her life truth and because of him Sansa learns humility. Then there are fans who knew Sansa is a good girl and Hound did abuse her but they think Sansa could redeem him and he will be her knight. All of them are doing injustice to Sansa.

It is a great injustice to Sansa to downplay her fear and minimize the very real threat the Hound was.

Sansa hugged herself, suddenly cold. "Why are you always so hateful? I was thanking you . . ."

"Just as if I was one of those true knights you love so well, yes. What do you think a knight is for, girl? You think it's all taking favors from ladies and looking fine in gold plate? Knights are for killing." He laid the edge of his longsword against her neck, just under her ear. Sansa could feel the sharpness of the steel. "I killed my first man at twelve. I've lost count of how many I've killed since then. High lords with old names, fat rich men dressed in velvet, knights puffed up like bladders with their honors, yes, and women and children too—they're all meat, and I'm the butcher. Let them have their lands and their gods and their gold. Let them have their sers." Sandor Clegane spat at her feet to show what he thought of that. "So long as I have this," he said, lifting the sword from her throat, "there's no man on earth I need fear." (ACOK, Sansa IV)

Let’s not minimize what he’s doing here. He assures her, he kills women and children, while his sword is pressed against her skin. The Hound's casual violence, consistent threats, aren't erased just because he didn't want others to rape her. In the end, he attempted to do so himself which means all of these instances where he intimidated her need to be accepted as what they are—not rewritten as if he didn’t mean them. He did have that potential all along, and it’s a horrifying dynamic as a result.

I understand AUs change the dynamics and ages, but in canon, so much of the interaction is the Hound being cruel and terrifying Sansa, there is nothing enjoyable for me there. Also, it's a pattern that he saves her and then threatens her, so rewriting the assault as something else isn't a fair reading. We were told from the beginning he might protect her from other threats, but he was always a threat as well.

The silence went on and on, so long that she began to grow afraid once more, but she was afraid for him now, not for herself. She found his massive shoulder with her hand. "He was no true knight," she whispered to him.

The Hound threw back his head and roared. Sansa stumbled back, away from him, but he caught her arm. "No," he growled at her, "no, little bird, he was no true knight."

The rest of the way into the city, Sandor Clegane said not a word. He led her to where the carts were waiting, told a driver to take them back to the Red Keep, and climbed in after her. They rode in silence through the King's Gate and up torchlit city streets. He opened the postern door and led her into the castle, his burned face twitching and his eyes brooding, and he was one step behind her as they climbed the tower stairs. He took her safe all the way to the corridor outside her bedchamber.

"Thank you, my lord," Sansa said meekly.

The Hound caught her by the arm and leaned close. "The things I told you tonight," he said, his voice sounding even rougher than usual. "If you ever tell Joffrey … your sister, your father … any of them …"

"I won't," Sansa whispered. "I promise."

It was not enough. "If you ever tell anyone," he finished, "I'll kill you." (AGOT, Sansa II)

We do not need to allow Martin’s skill at getting us to see someone’s humanity erase what Sansa suffers at this man’s hands. Her pity doesn’t negate his threats.

[sterek-ao3feed]

Weakling

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/57494983

by gun_control

Stiles Stilinski is weak. A coward. An overall weak, little bastard. Well, that's what his father thinks of him.

His father is an abusive alcoholic who has been hurting Stiles for the past ten years. Ever since Stiles' mother had died when he was seven.

When Claudia died, John started drinking and kept blaming Stiles to the point of abusing him. Even Stiles blames himself for her death.

Every night when Stiles got home from the evening pack meeting, his dad would be sitting at the dining table, drinking, waiting for Stiles.

Words: 6889, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: M/M

Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski (Teen Wolf), Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Lydia Martin, Jackson Whittemore, Isaac Lahey, Allison Argent, Peter Hale, Ethan (Teen Wolf), Aiden (Teen Wolf), Melissa McCall, The Nemeton (Teen Wolf)

Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Ethan/Jackson Whittemore, Aiden/Lydia Martin

Additional Tags: Stiles Stilinski Loves Derek Hale, Hurt Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Stiles Stilinski is Derek Hale's Anchor, Stiles Stilinski is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Stiles Stilinski Is Bad at Feelings, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Protective Derek Hale, Derek Hale Loves Stiles Stilinski, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski is a Mess, Broken Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale is a Little Shit, Sassy Peter Hale, Minor Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Scott McCall is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Isaac Lahey & Scott McCall Friendship, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Banshee Lydia Martin, Past Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore, Allison Argent & Lydia Martin Friendship, Lydia Martin is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Allison Argent Lives, Allison Argent is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Isaac Lahey & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Werewolf Jackson Whittemore, Mentioned Jackson Whittemore, Good Friend Jackson Whittemore, Jackson Whittemore is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Aiden & Ethan are Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Aiden and Allison Argent Live, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Stiles Stilinski, Depression, References to Depression, Depressing, Depressed Stiles Stilinski, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, My First Work in This Fandom, Please Don't Hate Me, i don't know where i'm going with this, Sorry Not Sorry

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57494983

[elisysd]

14. It could be so sweet, if only I were naive

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Envy the Leaves - Madison Beer

Ethan was brooding and in a foul mood as he was about to board his plane for Singapore. He didn’t know why or more like he knew but didn’t want to admit it. Julia was giving him the silent treatment ever since that fateful karting day and he didn’t understand what he could have done wrong to deserve it. She had not replied when he had sent her that picture, she had opened it and seen it but left him without a reply. Not that he wanted one, but still, a thank you was not too much too ask. And it came at the worst moment, right when they were supposed to soft-launch their relationship. He had to resist the urge to go to her place to see her, more than once, but refrained himself when he thought about what he would tell her.

So he was in a bad mood, something that Ludwig quickly noticed when Ethan arrived in the airport, dragging his suitcase behind him, with more violence than necessary.

“Did you eat a mean cookie to be this violent with this poor suitcase that didn’t ask for it?”

“I’m fine.”

“Clearly. Should we buy another suitcase just in case this one doesn’t survive the flight?”

“No use. I’m fine.”

“Sure, you are.”

“I said, I’m fine. Don’t insist!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never said you were not.”

“Julia is ignoring me.”

“Oh, so here we are. You miss your little girlfriend, isn’t it cute? Never though I would see this day, but there is a first time to everything.”

“She is not my girlfriend!” said Ethan making the whole queue waiting at the security looking at them.

“Sure, fake girlfriend if you want to get into technicalities. So what happened?” he asked, a half-smile on his face.

“That’s the thing, I don’t know. We were fine, I thought we were on the right path to become good friends and then she decided to distance herself without any explanations. I hate her sometimes.”

“What did you do?”

“Why would it be my fault?”

“Because you are you. You are a problem in itself Ethan.”

“Jeez, thank you for the vote of confidence, mate, I appreciate it.”

They were briefly separated as they were getting through the security controls and met a few minutes after at the gate. Kyle was already there, clearly waiting for them, a book in his hands. He was wearing glasses, something new that took aback both Ludwig and Ethan.

“Since when are you wearing glasses?” asked his teammate.

“I had an appointment with the doctor, my sight is not so good since a few weeks so now I have to wear them to see if it makes everything a little better.”

“Okay, grandpa.”

“Mind you, Romy find me really sexy when I wear them. She loves them.”

“Yeah, no, too much information that I don’t want to know.”

Ethan abandoned them for a while, he didn’t want to hear all about how Kyle and Romy were more or less an item. Or about how Kyle was happy. Or questions about Julia. He opened his social media and as if fate had decided to play with him, the first thing he saw was a story from Martin where Julia was appearing in the background, smiling to the cameras. A wave of anger washed over him. He knew she was always travelling with her dad, so it shouldn’t have surprised him to see her there. But for a reason that he couldn’t pinpoint, Martin being in the picture, quite literally, bothered him. He put his phone back in his pocket with rage and went back to his friends, plopping down beside Kyle with a sigh.

“No news of the girlfriend?” Ludwig teased him.

“What do you guys know about Martin?” asked Ethan, ignoring his friend.

“Well… not much. I mean, not more than what you know.”

“He is a pretty laid back dude, really nice. But he is pretty discreet. Doesn’t talk much. “ replied Kyle.

“Does he have a girlfriend?”

“Oh… I see now. You are jealous. You are scared of him going to your Julia.” said Ludwig.

“She is not my Julia, first of all. And second of all, I’m not scared. Why would I be? He is not that good looking and not that good of a driver.”

“Well the girls comments under his Instagram posts say a whole other story….”

“Shut up, for fuck’s sake, Lud.”

Ludwig looked at Kyle in hope to find an ally but was welcomed by a shrug. They were used to Ethan’s mood swings by now. The plane ride was uncomfortable as hell, between Ethan’s groans whenever Ludwig was mentioning Julia and Kyle trying his best to keep his best friends in check. To make it even better they even went through turbulence one hour before landing in Singapore and it’s therefore completely drained that they finally arrived. Ethan couldn’t wait for a shower and to sleep. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts. He loved his friends to death but sometimes they were too much. Especially Ludwig.

So as soon as he retrieved his suitcase, he took the first taxi that was waiting for someone, barely acknowledging Kyle and Ludwig and left. The ride to the hotel was made in complete silence and for the first time he found it appeasing and enjoyable. Singapore was his least favorite track of the season. Another city one, with barely enough opportunities to try something. It would again be all about track positions and it was boring to him. Finally, he arrived at the hotel and as he was to step inside an all too familiar silhouette was waiting at the front desk . Someone that was trying to avoid him for the past few days.

“Julia? Hey… I didn’t know you already arrived.”

“Yeah… about that… I’m not really staying. Skoda messed up the booking and I don’t have a room, so I’m just waiting for Romy. I’ll stay with her.”

“You sure? You could stay with me, you know. That would be more logical than you staying with her. We are supposed to be a couple, it wouldn’t shock anyone.”

“I don’t want to stay with you.” she said hastily and Ethan couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt.

“But you prefer to stay with Romy?”

“Of course, she is my best friend!”

“Joolsie, we are supposed to soft launch our relationship, starting this race weekend. How do you plan for us to do it if you avoid me?” he asked, clearly annoyed and angry.

“I’m not avoiding you.” she replied, crossing her arms against her chest, in a defensive posture.

“You didn’t answer my text. You know the picture I sent you.”

“Oh Gosh… I have a life Ethan! And I didn’t know you were expecting an answer!”

People were starting to look at them and seeing the unsolicited attention, Ethan grabbed her arm as he dragged her with him in a corner, away from prying eyes and ears.

“What is wrong with you?” she angrily whispered.

“I could say the same about you! Martin? Really? After everything we talked about? What are you playing at?”

“I’m allowed to have friends!”

“We’ve already had this conversation! He doesn’t want to be your friend!”

“That’s not what he said!”

“Oh please, you are not naive.” he sighed.

“And so what? What if indeed he wants to be more than my friend?”

“Yeah well, he will have to back off,  you have a boyfriend.”

“A fake one.”

“He doesn’t know that.” she replied, clearly trying to rile him up.

“What are you trying to say?”

“What if I wanted to be more than his friend? Did you think about that?”

He opened his mouth to reply but no sound came out of it. He didn’t understand why but the perspective of Julia kissing Martin and being all lovey dovey with him was making him want to punch a wall. Or to throw Martin in a wall, there could be opportunities during the weekend, still he didn’t like this feeling that was viciously snaking around him.

“Well he will have to wait in line, for now, you are with me.”

“Wait in line? Do you hear yourself?” she said.

“We have a deal Julia!”

“I’m not a freaking business transaction! Or your property! You have no rights on me.”

“Yeah, that much we established. You are annoying, you know that?”

“You are insufferable!”

“I wouldn’t be if you weren’t so… so…”  words were failing him.

“So what? Come on, say it!”

“So you!”

Julia was about to reply when her phone buzzed announcing the arrival of a new text. She quickly checked it and felt relief when she saw that it was from Romy, saying she was there. Without another word and giving him one final look where Ethan believed he saw a hint of disappointment in it, she left. Romy noticed straight away the change in her best friend’s behaviour. It was the way she carried herself, he posture stiff and her eyes locked to the ground.

“Trouble in paradise?” Romy asked as Julia was taking place on the passenger seat of the Audi.

“Yeah, we can say that.”

“Do you wanna talk about it? Because I thought you were staying with Ethan, to be honest. I wasn’t expecting your call. Or more like I wasn’t expecting you to ask to stay with me.”

“It’s just… complicated, you know. Team policies and he needs his good night of sleep, I don’t want to bother.”

“Yeah because for sure if you’re here, sleep will be the last of his priorities!” said Romy with a wink making Julia blush.

“Romy!”

“What? Come on you can tell me. How is he?”

“Do I ask how is Kyle with you?” argued Julia.

“No, but you could ask me. I would tell you.”

“But I don’t want to know!”

“You are boring, Ju.”

Julia tried her best to hide her embarrassment. She never really thought about Ethan that way. She didn’t want to, it would turn into a rabbit hole she didn’t want to dig herself in. This one time seeing Ethan shirtless in the gym was enough to give her thoughts she didn’t want to have. Intrusive ones, peeking through the night when she was sleeping soundly. The warmth of his arms brushing against hers, and the shiver she got from it were not something she liked to think about, it was always giving her a warm feeling in her lower belly. She must had made a stupid face as Romy asked her what she was thinking about.

“You are all red.”

“I’m not! it’s just that it’s hot outside and I need a cold shower.”

“Sure.”

Romy showed her room to Julia before telling her that she had commitments to honour, leaving the brunette on her own. Julia tried to occupy her mind to avoid thinking about Ethan , but she understood that staying inside would do no good, she stopped sulking and left the room, her drawing notebook with her. In the lobby she found probably the last person she was expecting to see. Martin was laughing with Elijah as a blond woman with a Ferrari shirt was talking to them. probably someone from the staff, thought Julia who kept walking towards the exit. As she was about to step outside, she heard footsteps coming in her direction as if the person was running and she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Julia? What are you doing here? Are you here to see your dad, he has a meeting right now but you can wait with us. We just finished to shoot a challenge for Ferrari’s social media.”

“Uh… no, not really. Truth be told, I’m staying with Romy. Skoda forgot to book me a room so…” she shrugged.

“Oh shit. Ethan didn’t tell you that you could stay with him?”

“Yes, he did. It’s just… me whose the problem, I guess. It’s complicated.”

“Yeah I bet it is. You must have signed tons of NDA when they learned about your relationship. You know to avoid manufacturing resources to leak.”

“That's the thing, they don’t know yet. So, we are laying low.”

“Oh? So you guys are not official, then.”

“We are. It’s not because we are not public with it, yet, that it’s not serious.” she replied, defensively.

“Yeah sure, sorry, if I overstepped.”

“It’s fine.”

“You were about to head downtown?”

“Yeah, I juts need to forget some stuff. I have a lot in mind.”

“I wanted to visit, do you mind if I join you?”

She wanted to say yes, that she minded. It was not a good idea, especially when Singapore was filled with journalists. It would just need one picture for things to blew up out of proportion. She knew that but he was good company, he made her laugh and forget everything. She felt good with him, calm, peaceful. It was welcomed when with Ethan she felt like drowning in an ocean where very time she was trying to stay a float another wave was throwing her under. But still, she ended up accepting and Martin made a move to tell her that he was letting her take the lead.

They walked around Singapore, stopping to some places to take pictures. It felt easy, conversation was flowing, she didn’t have to pretend and the Ethan topic was avoided by tacit agreement and Julia didn’t really see the time flying. They ended up sitting somewhere not so crowded after getting take away.

“I hope Ethan won’t get too mad knowing that we spent the afternoon together.”

And there it was, the elephant in the room. The way too big elephant in the way to small room.

“Ethan is complicated. And i’m complicated too. And we are stubborn and hot-headed, it doesn’t help sometimes.”

“But do you love him?”

That was the question she hoped no one would ask her because she didn’t want to answer. She wasn’t in love with Ethan but was she attracted? She wasn’t blind and she was just a human being, after all. She appreciated him. His presence, his sense of humour, how he was there for her when Louis ran away and how he tried to protect her. He had been a true friend. And she couldn’t help but wonder if there were no lingering feelings. Being there for her, sending her this picture of her and her brother, trying to keep her with him and she almost thought he was about to kiss her. Did she want to be kissed?

“Julia?” repeated Martin.

“Yeah? Sorry, I zoned out for a moment.”

“I saw that. You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s not any of my business, after all.”

“No, no it’s just… we have history. Not the best if I may add. We’ve known each other since we were kids and we were not the best of friends back then…” she explained in a laugh. “But years went by and we kind of lost touch, he was often away and i was caught up in my studies. We met again this year and… here we are.”

“You don’t seem happy, though.”

“In every relationships you have ups and downs. Today is a down. Tomorrow will be a up. It’s difficult to adapt and to go from enemies to lovers. Sometimes, most of the time, we bicker like when we were kids. But he has seen parts of me that not a lot of people know about. He had seen me at my worst and I did too.”

“It doesn’t answer my question, though. About love.”

“Is it bad if I say that I don’t know? Does it make me a bad person?”

“Not necessarily. You can grow to love someone. As long as you are happy. Which leads me to my second question: are you happy?”

“I guess I am.”

“But you’re not sure.”

“And what about you, are you happy?”

“No. Not entirely. But I will be, someday.”

She smiles softly and looked at her phone. Texts from Romy were there asking her if she wanted room service or if she would rather eat outside, her dad was checking up on her as well but she had nothing from Ethan. She wasn’t expecting anything, not after their fight but she would have loved a reminder of him, being there alone with Martin, she couldn't help but feel like she was cheating on him, which was crazy. She didn’t. There was nothing else than a deal between her and Ethan. Nothing else. She must have looked to her screen for a little too long as Martin started to stand up and extending his hands to her. She pretended not seeing it and they both walked back to the hotel. In the lobby, they said their goodbyes before heading their separate ways.

When she opened the hotel room door she was welcomed by a blonde tornado throwing her arms around her.

“I’m so happy to have you here, despite the circumstances! It’s been so long since we had a sleepover. So tell me, what did you do today?”

“I went out, I visit the town with Martin and…”

“Martin? Why?” Romy cut her, giving her a suspicious look.

“Because he asked if he could come…”

“And you said yes?”

“Is it bad?”

“Of course it’s bad! You have a boyfriend!”

“And Martin is my friend…”

“Martin doesn’t want to be your friend he wants to take Ethan’s place. Julia! You are not dumb!”

“Martin knows about Ethan. And he respects it.”

“Yeah, no. If he respected it he would back off. But he doesn’t.”

“He didn’t make a move on me, Romy. It’s fine!”

“And I should give him a medal? That’s basic respect, I sure hope he didn’t try anything. But it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to. Julia, you are entertaining his feelings. That’s not fair. Not to him or to Ethan that then again is your boyfriend, your lover, the guy you are sleeping with! Fuck! Stop being blind and oblivious.”

“Martin is nice….” Julia tried to defend herself. She knew it was wrong, whatever was going on between martin and her. But hearing her friend saying it out loud was making it worse than what she had imagined.

“Being naive doesn’t have a good look on yourself. What is wrong with you?”

Julia sat on the bed and look at her feet as she was playing with her fingers.

“It’s… can I be honest with you? And most importantly can you promise to not judge me or say anything? It has to stay between us.”

“Julia… you are scaring me.”

“Ethan and I, we are not really dating. I’m saving his ass because of what happened, the scandal, you know. And… he helps me out to prove to my dad that I’m good at my job. Basically.”

Romy didn’t say anything, only dropping next to her friend and taking her in her arms.

“A lot of things make sense, now… It doesn’t excuse your behaviour with Martin, though. It’s still a dumb idea, I stand by it. But Ethan… Julia, are you sure you guys are only faking things? Because I’ve seen how he looked at you during his birthday party and I heard how you talked about him… It didn’t seem fake to me. You got me and you are my best friends. Surely it doesn’t mean nothing.”

“I don’t know… Maybe Ethan is just good at pretending.”

“Maybe.”

“And now I’m stuck. Because I truly like Martin’s company. I feel good with him, safe. Ethan is always up to something, I never know what to expect and it’s terrifying.”

“Martin is your comfort zone and Ethan is not.” simply said Romy. “You know what they say with the comfort zone, kitten.”

Julia shrugged.

“I’m leaving you alone with your thoughts. For what is worth, I think you should talk to Ethan, it would help you sort your thoughts out. I won’t be mad if when i come back you are not there. And if it helps you in any way, I’m team Ethan.”

After her conversation with Romy, Julia couldn’t help but feel guilty. Even if nothing happened with Martin, and she intended to keep it that way, she was feeling bad and remorseful towards Ethan. He didn’t deserve any of what she had put him through. She opened her contacts and scrolled down until she found his name, with a red heart next to it, something silly she had added after establishing their fake relationship. She wasn’t expecting him to answer but he did after a short while.

“What do you want?”

“I want to say sorry.”

“About what? Our fight, you leaving with Romy or your little date with Ferrari’s boy?”

“All of that. It wasn’t fair to you and our relationship. I should have agreed to stay with you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

She bit her lips and pulled her knees up against her chest.

“I don’t want to make things weird between us,  if we sleep in the same bed.”

“Joolsie, you know me. I wouldn’t have given you the bed. The sofa is quite nice and comfy.”

“Thanks for your consideration!” she said, slightly offended.

“I’m joking. I would have taken the sofa and given you the bed.”

She felt embarrassed. She could hear his breathing from the other side of the line. The only thing she wanted was to take a taxi and go back to the hotel to run into his arms. But she was so scared of what it would mean and how it would change everything that she wasn’t sure it was a risk she was willing to take.

“Romy left me alone. That’s not what I imagined when she said that we would have a sleepover.”

“I’m alone too.” he whispered.

“Maybe we can be alone together? If you want?”

“I don’t want to be alone together with anyone else, Julia.”

“Good. Me too.”

The line went silent, both of them not knowing what to say. Julia closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Does your offer about me staying with you still stands?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“I’m waiting, then.”

It didn’t even take half an hour for her to arrive to the hotel. She walked fast to the elevator and it’s almost out of breath that she arrived in front of his door. She barely had the time to know that the door opened revealing Ethan in a very laid back outfit.

“Hey…” she said.

“Joolsie…”

“I’m sorry. I overreacted and I’m stupid. And you have every reasons to be mad.”

“I’m mad. Because we are friends and you don’t trust me and you act like I’m disgusting to you.”

“Are we? Friends, I mean.”

“You are annoying and you’ve been acted like a bitch with me. But you are my friend. Now come inside.”

She felt uncomfortable all of a sudden, she didn’t know where to put her suitcase or where to stand.

“So where should I sleep?” she asked.

“The bed is big enough for us to fit without touching each other but if you don’t want to, I can give you the bed. Bear in mind that I would love to sleep in it on Friday and Saturday. I need to feel rested for the race.”

“I guess we can share the bed.”

“Perfect. I was scared you were going to fight me on something.”

Julia didn’t answer taking her pyjamas out of the suitcase as well as her toiletry bag and locked herself in the bathroom. She came back a moment later to see Ethan adding a few pillow in the middle of the bed.

“I called the reception to know if we could have some more. I’m making our border so we don’t end up on the other person’s side.”

“That’s thoughtful of you.”

Ethan shrugged as if it was not a big deal and got inside the bed. Julia joined him soon after as he switch of the light and it didn’t take long before she fell asleep.

Author's note: I know I said I wouldn't upload before Saturday but... I couldn't wait to post lmao.

What do you think will happen next? Let me know your theories, I love to read them.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. It helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

Taglist:

@herondalism @aundercover @musingsbyshreya @karmabyfernando @reengard @mycenterfold @smoooothoperator

[thesffcorner]

Part 2: Dishonored: Characters

Our silent protagonist is Corvo Attano, and he is at once the ruin of Dunwall, caring for nothing but his own vengeance, and compassionate and kind despite the violence the city has inflicted upon him.

Immersive Sim:

Dishonored falls into a category of game called Immersive Sim, which in short means a game where the player has the ultimate choice in how to approach a situation. To paraphrase a quote from Warren Spector, the lead developer on Deus Ex, 'a key should not be the only way to open a door.'

The same thing applies to characters; though you are playing as a specific person, your decisions as a player greatly determine the personality and traits of said character, as well as their impact on the world. 

In theory, I love immersive sims. In practice, especially in a series, games run into a lot of issues when it comes time for the sequel. Dishonored is no different. 

If we take the first game in isolation, Corvo can be as violently destructive or as quietly imperceptible as you want. However, unlike the Mass Effect games, which take into account what you did in the previous games, Dishonored doesn’t; instead the game has its own true canon, which can be especially frustrating if you like to play loudly and violently. I will talk way more about this when we get to the level breakdowns, but suffice it to say, your actions have way less influence on the world than the game would like you to believe they do. 

Corvo Attano:

Ironically, though he is our protagonist, we know very little about him, especially in the first game. We know is that he is devoted to both Jessamine and Emily, that he is very close to Emily, acting as her father figure, and that he is respected by the people who know him.

This is where the issues start. Does Corvo know Emily is his daughter? Does Emily? In the first game, the answer to both seems to be no, and yet, in the sequel, this is common knowledge not just to Corvo and Emily, but the Dunwall public as well.

The game never explains why Corvo and Jessamine aren't together, whether it's a personal choice or if marriage between nobles and commoners is illegal. This lack of clarity does bring up some questions about the world, since we see that Dunwall, and by extension the Isles are quite conservative and traditional, with the Abbey having a very large influence over its citizens.

How is Jessamine an Empress? Why is her being unmarried or her having a child out of wedlock not a bigger issue? Why is Emily’s birthright not an issue for succession if her father is unknown? Does the Abbey not have anything to say about the fact that the Empress just seemingly had an immaculate birth?

This isn't just idle speculation; it brings me to a much larger and more serious problem with the first game, namely

Sexism and Misogyny:

I want to do a little experiment. I’m going to list the most important characters in the game. Ready? 

Royal Protector Corvo Attano;

Empress Jessamine Kaldwin; 

Princess Emily Kaldwin;

The Assassin Daud; 

Royal Spymaster/Lord Regent Hiram Burrows; 

High Overseer Campbell; 

Lords Custis, Morgan and Treavor Pendleton; 

Admiral John Havelock; 

Overseer Teague Martin; 

Granny Rags aka Vera Morley; 

Slackjaw, leader of the Bottlestreet Gang; 

Ladies Lydia, Waverly and Esma Boyle; 

and Inventors Anton Sokolov and Piero Joplin.

Do you notice something about this list?

Let’s do it another way. 

These are all the female characters in the game:

Jessamine Kaldwin, 

Emily Kaldwin, 

Granny Rags; 

The 3 Boyle sisters;

 Governess Calista Curnow, 

& Cecilia. 

6. There are 6 female characters in the whole game. 

I am not counting named NPCs like Madame Prudence, Lydia, Alfa, Elsa or Miss White, the same way I'm not counting Alec, Griff, or Lord Ramsey for the men. And I am not counting the 3 Boyle sisters as separate characters when they serve the exact same function and have the exact same character model. 

Actually, I think the Boyles deserve their own section because–

Lady Boyle:

After escaping prison, Corvo is tasked with eliminating 5 people who have orchestrated Jessamine’s murder. Those 5 people are: the Lord Regent, the High Overseer, Lords Custis and Morgan and Lady Boyle.

Lady Boyle is the ONLY female assassination target. She is also the only one who had no involvement with the plot to kill Jessamine.

One of the Boyle sisters is the Lord Regent’s lover, and she is financing his grab at power, specifically paying off the City Watch. When you read her journals, you quickly realize that she's in way over her head, has no way out of the relationship without jeopardizing her life and her family’s reputation, and she even talks fondly about Jessamine - she misses her, she likes her, and hates how bad things have gotten without her. 

We need to take her out because we need to take out Burrow's financial backing, but the justification for killing her is given by Lord Treavor Pendleton who is a) a super unreliable character, who b) has a very incel-adjacent relationship with all the Boyle women, and c) whose proof that Boyle ‘helped’ Burrows kill Jessamine is just ‘trust me bro’.

The only argument you could make is that in a transitive way, Boyle’s money paid for Daud, but that’s such an incredible reach that I sprained my neck just typing it. 

What’s worse, is that the alternative to killing her is so much worse than committing murder, that I don't even think the developers realized what they'd written.

Back to the Sexism:

You thought we were done?

Calista Curnow, along with Cecilia is one of the two female characters who like Lydia serve mostly to flirt with Corvo. What makes Calista different is that she's a) Emilly's governess and b) a canon 'love interest' for Corvo. Heavy quotations around "love interest", because it's part of the WORST subplot of the entire game.

Calista exists so that Inventor Pierro Jopin can stalk and leer at her. And when I say stalk, I mean that literary, because you catch him watching her while BATHING.

You, as Corvo, can tell him off, only for the game to give you the option to ALSO spy on Calista. You can enter the bathroom and 'apologize', and even proposition her; she rejects you, but the game lets you enter the bathtub even AFTER she does. The game treats this as a joke; if you do it you get a game over screen, but there is nothing funny about making your protagonist someone who is willing to sexually assault someone. You can even poses Calista and make her get out of the bathtub to ogle her naked character model. She not treated like a character; she's treated like an object for the male players to jerk off to.

Ceclia has a different subplot that ends up being crucial in helping Corvo in the latter half of the game, and she is the only character to have an actual arc throughout the game. She out as a cowardly, meek woman, who is afraid of Corvo and afraid of standing up for herself, but inspired by his bravery, she ends up escaping certain death and leaving Dunwall. 

Jessamine Kaldwin, is immediately killed, and spends the rest of the game as a LITERAL object, her physical heart and metaphysical spirit trapped in the mechanical heart the Outsider gives to Corvo. He only role is to be Corvo's literal spirit guide.

We never see what she was like as Empress, we learn very little about her opinion of Dunwall, her allies, or even of Corvo; all we know is that she loves Emily and wanted to cure the plague. Despite having many voice lines as the heart, most of them are about other people, and almost never about her.

Emilly is, thankfully, spared any sexualization, being 10 years old. She is, however, much like her mother, treated like an object more than a character. The game claims she imitates Corvo and watches everything he does with great interest, but in reality, outside of 2 scenes where Corvo plays hide and seek with her, she exists to get kidnapped and rescued.

There is only one female character that isn’t sexualized, isn’t in love or obsessed with Corvo, isn’t in constant need of rescuing, and whose motivations have nothing to do with Corvo:

Granny Rags:

I love Granny Rags. If Arkane ever magically gets the chance to make a Dishonored 3, I want it to be all about her. I want 10 more books about Granny Rags instead of whatever the Corroded Man is about.  

We meet her as a blind, crotchety old woman, but in her youth, she was so powerful and beautiful, that princes fought over her favour. She rejected them all, devoting herself to studying the occult and earning an Outsider mark. Because she can’t see Corvo, it’s unclear if she knows who he is, or thinks he's her late husband, but she ropes him into her schemes.

In addition to her side quests being the longest and most involved they are also the most morally fucked up. She’s never a direct antagonist, in fact for most of the game she's on your side, helping with runes and alternative routes. Even when she ends up fighting Corvo, it’s only because he gets between her and her soup.

So, to recap, out of the 6 female characters, only 2 aren't sexualized, a child and an old woman, and only the old woman gets to be an actual character with motivations and goals unrelated to Corvo.

Yes, We Are Still on the Sexism

I can already see the comments. 

Monika! This game is supposed to be brutal! And Dunwall is supposed to be sexist! The Abbey preaches that women should stay away from science and stick to the kitchen! That’s why it makes total sense that the only women in the game are maids or sex workers!

Well newsflash! Dunwall DOESN’T exist! The devs actively chose to build their setting in a way so as to exclude any female characters save for sex workers and maids. The place where you will see the most female NPCs in the entire game is a literal brothel. So no, they were not making a commentary on Dunwall's sexist society.

Even if they were, they did a piss poor job of conveying it, because the game never makes any commentary, outside of depicting misogynist actions.

The world the developers built doesn't even make sense under their own sexist logic! Once again, I have to ask: how is Jessamine an Empress? How is she unmarried? Why would a society where women can't do anything apart from raise children, cook and clean have a succession line of the eldest child instead of the eldest son? How come the Abbey never questioned Jessamine's decision to not marry or her daughter born out of wedlock? And if we are to believe that Jessamine is a good ruler, why wouldn’t she push back on the Abbey’s teachings?

Look, I love this game, I do. But part of loving something is being willing to acknowledge its flaws. I am glad that people did it, because guess what? The games improved! Even in this game's very own DLC the things I'm complaining about here start to change, and the games are better for it. But that would’ve never happened had people not acknowledged the issues in the first place.

Part 3: Dishonored: Gameplay

Part 1: Dishonored

Main Menu

[nicklloydnow]

“For the Hound, violence is the only semblance of pleasure that remains. He has little interest in women, nor in starting a family. But at least he’s self-aware – he fully understands how twisted he is, and explicitly warns Arya not to be consumed by revenge during “The Bells.” It’s good advice; Arya’s “kill list” is a warped fantasy that has weighed heavily on her, and letting go of her bloodlust might just allow her to live a happier life.

The Hound’s journey has sometimes meandered, but it always seemed as though he was searching for a release of some sort, an end to his suffering. And he almost met his end by the blade of Brienne of Tarth; after his recovery, he looked as though he might even find peace.

For the Hound, violence was a crippling addiction that granted the temporary illusion of power, the man dominating his victims the way his brother once dominated him. Surely, letting that toxic lifestyle go, finally putting down his sword, would have been a truly happy ending for Sandor Clegane.

But the fans had other ambitions. “Cleganebowl” was an ongoing meme throughout the series, the fans picturing an epic showdown between the two warring brothers. The idea was satisfying, sure, but a surface reading of the brother’s twisted relationship.

The two men didn’t really have the rivalry imagined by the fans; they hated each other, undoubtedly, but the Mountain had moved on. The scar he left on his little brother was psychological, the Hound’s propensity for violence forged in fire – murdering the man who’d turned him into a murderer wasn’t going to heal him.

(…)

The Mountain’s enraged reaction upon seeing Sandor wasn’t organic; it was certainly what the fans wanted, but it didn’t have a solid foundation in the story.

After all, the Mountain died long ago, a literal zombie puppeteered by Qyburn. This is the tragedy of his story, an agent of violence transformed into a walking dead man. The Hound threw himself into the fire, just so he could burn his brother’s corpse.

It was a stunning visual, and at the time, genuinely felt like a win for Sandor. But really, it was a victory for the Mountain. Sandor never managed to escape the effect of his elder brother’s abuse; he followed him into the flames of self-destruction. From beginning to end, Sandor’s story was desperately sad.

(…)

My ideal ending for Sandor would have seen him retiring, enjoying a peaceful life, backing down from bar fights and munching on chicken, finally strong enough to ignore his worst instincts.

Though admittedly, it wouldn’t have been quite as cinematic.”

“There are no seeds for this fight planted in Martin’s books. “Cleganebowl” is just something fans cooked up when it looked like both the Hound and the Mountain had, against all odds, survived death in the last book, A Dance with Dragons. Positing that the Hound was secretly a character named “the Gravedigger” and the Mountain was secretly a character called Ser Robert Strong, some readers wondered, “and wouldn’t it be cool if they fought each other?”

The cyclical nature of all of this is satisfying on one level. Fire is the reason Sandor left King’s Landing in the first place—he infamously spat “fuck the king” when asked to rush into the wildfire-lit melee of the Battle of Blackwater.

And so he returned to the city, braved the fire, and ended his brother in the flames. Sure, the Hound technically died doing something heroic in eliminating Cersei’s bodyguard, but is it a satisfying conclusion for Sandor? Especially when his brother, Gregor, is actually long dead. The show made some attempt to humanize the Mountain in his final moments by having him disobey Cersei, but this still felt like a sad ending for Sandor. A vengeance mission to eliminate a zombie lacks the soul this particular redemption arc deserves. Especially when Rory McCann’s best scene of the entire series is a tender, surprisingly sensitive reckoning with the emotional wounds his brother left on him.

However, as a lesson for Arya on how to move past vengeance and abandon her kill list, the encounter is chillingly effective. The Hound told Arya to leave and abandon her murderous purpose in the city. “You come with me, he says, you’ll die here.” The action later cuts back and forth between the Hound getting battered by his brother and Arya being battered by the crowd. Arya, who was in King’s Landing to kill Cersei, decides in the episode’s final moments to leave. (She doesn’t know Cersei is already done.) She mounts a horse and rides out of King’s Landing leaving the fire and blood in her rear view. Arya learns the lessons that Sandor couldn’t and, in that sense, he saves her again. So, where is she going now? It seems unlikely she’ll ever return to Winterfell. Much like her direwolf Nymeria running off to be wild in Season 7, Arya isn’t meant to go live in the comfort of the Stark family home.”

[emerald-emerlad]

A JonMartin Fic for Day 3 - Hurt/Comfort

@tmaappreciationweek - a fic where Jon blinds himself early with Martin's help

Word Count: Around 2.5k

Warnings: Violence, Eye Trauma, Angst and Fluff, First Kiss

Jon had listened to the statement twice, just to make sure he was hearing it correctly. 

Then again, as he ran up to Martin’s office, nearly tripping on the stairs and pounding on the door, begging him to be in there.

“Peter? Listen, I- oh .”

Jon ignored the flutter in his chest when Martin pulled open the door, instead grabbing his arms and staring him in the eyes. “ Martin . I found out how to leave.”

“W-what? Jon, you know I’m-”

“Busy? Please just- just listen to me. I- I know how to quit. To leave the Institute forever,” Jon said quickly, before Martin could shut the door. “Hear me out, okay?”

He hesitated, and Jon’s hopes wavered. Martin looked behind him, then out in the hallway, before nodding and stepping aside to let him in. “Don’t be ridiculous. We can’t leave.”

Jon felt around in his pocket and pulled out Eric Delano’s statement. “There’s this- you know Eric Delano? He worked here. He worked at the Magnus Institute, and quit .”

“Gerry Keay’s father? Yeah, he left, but I was told he was blind when he-” 

Martin’s jaw dropped, and he stared at Jon, who looked away. 

“ Fuck off .”

“It’s- it’s not- well, it’s the only way. But don’t you think it’s worth it? To- to leave all of this behind us?” Jon begged, grabbing Martin’s arm and sending a small shock up his wrist. 

“Don’t you dare make it my choice,” Martin exclaimed, stepping backward and pulling his arm away. “Don’t you dare -”

“You don’t get it!” Jon nearly shouted, and immediately regretted it when he saw the look on Martin’s face. “I have hurt so many people just by being here. Fuck, you’re the one who told Basira about my… my eating habits . Those people did nothing wrong, and I’m ruining their life.”

“Jon. It is not your fault for what the Eye is making you do,” Martin told him sternly, his gaze seeming to pierce Jon right through. “You can’t blame yourself- but- this is permanent. Hell, this isn’t just- it’s not something you can just do! You don’t recover from stabbing your eyes out-”

“I know,” Jon said, his hands shaking. Martin shook his head desperately. “Martin, please. You don’t have to! But if I do it, the Eye loses its Archivist. We could leave together. Just us.”

“Have you told anyone else?” he asked, not making eye contact. “What if it- what if they get hurt? Shouldn’t they have a say in this?”

“They’ll be fine,” Jon whispered, though only half-believing it. But he was hurting them, and other people. He didn’t deserve them. “Don’t you want to leave?”

Martin bit his lip, then sighed, his voice so quiet that Jon had to step closer to hear it. 

“Yes.”

He relaxed, and took Martin’s hand again, who shook his head again and squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m not letting you do it alone.”

“I’m sorry,” Jon choked out and wrapped his arms around Martin. He jumped a little, then returned it. Silence followed as they hugged for what felt like hours. “Are you ready?” Jon eventually asked, feeling guiltier by the second. 

“Whenever you are,” Martin mumbled, and Jon smiled sadly as he pulled away and looked him in the eyes. Martin raised a hand and rested it lightly onto Jon’s face, tracing his cheek. “I- I actually never realized how green your eyes were.”

Jon’s heart leaped a little, though he wasn’t sure why. He forced himself to chuckle as Martin brushed a stray hair away from his face. 

“I- um-” Jon didn’t know what to say. He felt something, something that he had never felt before. It was warm and… different. He was wary of it. Martin watched him, searching his face with concern. “I- like your hair?”

Martin laughed, and Jon realized how much he had missed that sound. “You really need to get better at complimenting people, you know.”

“Maybe that’s something we can work on,” Jon said softly. Martin smiled back at him, and Jon tried desperately to keep that image in mind as they left the office.

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