#Martin deserves a little violence

[mitchasaurus-r3x]

If we do get a physical jm reunion in tmagp (which I doubt) I hope Martin gets to sock Jon in the face. As a treat.

[mrsknowitallll]

All I Want Is You (Part two)

(Terry richmond x Black Plus size reader, Lawyer/Law firm AU)

Summary - Terry’s had his eyes on you for a while, like predator to prey, watching, waiting to strike. The only problem was that you were slippery, hard to get a hold of, he was gonna have to work extra hard to catch you.

Warning: Violence

A/N - Thank you guys for all the love on the first part i appreciate it so much! This one is a little long apologies in advance. I got some heat coming for yall in these next parts, i’m so excitedddd 😝

"So i ask you again Mrs thompson, did you lie about seeing Mr. Martin at the coffee shop that day?!" You raised your voice, slamming your hands down on the stand.

"YES OKAY I LIED, I LIED BUT I HAD EVERY REASON TO, IF I DIDN'T MY BABY WOULD'VE WENT TO PRISON. I DID WHAT ANY MOTHER WOULD DO!" Mrs. Thompson screamed, eyes widening manically.

"No further questions." You smirked making your way back to your seat knowing you had this case in the bag.

Terry watched from the back of the courtroom, grinning from ear to ear.

He loved when you got like this, when you weren't afraid to be loud, to command a room, to tear a phony witness apart.

The courtroom is where you shined, you didn't care about the opinions of others there, you didn't care about how you were perceived, you didn't hide, when you defended your clients you would stop at nothing to make sure they got the justice they deserved. It wasn't about you, about the money, it was about justice being served and you were gonna make sure that it would be by any means necessary, even if it meant destroying a liar psychology, ripping apart their psyche so that they have no choice but to crack, to spill their guts.

After the verdict was read; not guilty, you breathed a sigh of relief, laughing as your client engulfed you in a hug.

You burst through the double doors, the cool breeze hitting your face as you walked down the steps.

You closed your eyes as you got to the bottom, the case flashing through your mind.

Devon Martin was a 17 year old boy who was being charged with aggravated robbery, facing 5 to 15 years for a crime that he didn't commit.

How did you know? Well there's was absolutely no real evidence placing him at the scene at the time of the incident and all witness testimonies described a caucasian male, something Devon was not.

All witnesses except one, Mrs. Thompson.

She claimed that she saw someone matching Devon's description fleeing the scene holding a bag filled with cash and a bat, the same bat used to assault the cashier.

Phone records showed that she was nowhere near the coffee shop at the time of the incident, it made no sense that she would accuse Devon or anyone for that matter of the crime when she wasn't even present for it.

That was until the real suspect was taken into custody, her son, Jake Thompson.

Jake started hanging with the wrong crowds, getting involved with a lot of bad people who led him to do crazy things like robbing a coffee shop mid day, beating an employee nearly to death.

Mrs. Thompson did the only thing she knew, the one thing that worked every time without fail.

She cried, she cried those white woman tears. You know the ones that seemed to make anyone believe them, the ones that make people push all logic, common sense and critical thinking skills to the side despite clear evidence suggesting otherwise being right there in their faces, the ones that cause lies to be spun for the truth and the truth to be spun for lies, the ones that have the power to ruin lives.

White women tears were all it took for Devon to be harassed and assaulted by members of the community on and offline, get kicked out of his private academy that his parent worked extremely hard to put him in and lose his basketball scholarship.

It angered you beyond belief, if the verdict hadn't been not guilty you didn't think you could live with yourself.

"Tough one huh?" A voice spoke beside you.

Your eyes flew open and floated towards Terry.

You took a deep breath nodding.

"I bet, need a drink?" He questioned.

"Absolutely." You smiled.

"We'll take my car." He smiled too, gesturing for you to walk ahead of him.

After the incident in the break room you and Terry agreed to remain friends, no hard feelings.

Of course he still liked you, that wasn't just gonna go away but he had enough respect for you not to cross the line.

Plus he knows you'll come around eventually, you just need a little extra convincing and boy was he good at being convincing.

He opened the door for you, making sure that you were secure inside before closing it, jogging over to the other side of the car and getting in, starting the engine.

The two of you sit in silence for a while until he broke it.

"Something's bothering you." He takes his eyes off of the road for a moment to observe you.

You have your arms crossed, brows knitted together, eyes losing focus as you stared out the window, clearly deep in thought.

"Got something on your mind?" He questioned.

"It just pisses me off you know... they spew nonsense, point their fingers in blame, play victim and almost instantly they're believed, without a second thought, no questions asked." You huffed.

"But people that look like you and me, people that look like Devon, we have to go the extra mile, we have to have proof and even then it's still not enough. Devon isn't the first person to go through this and he won't be the last." You frowned.

He thought for a moment.

"Isn't that why we took this job? So that people that look like you, me and Devon could be given a fair shot, so that we can ensure that they still be treated with the same respect and be given the same opportunities as everyone else, despite all the corrupt systems put into place that actively work against us." He tilted his head, eyes finding yours.

"You always know exactly what to say." You smiled at him tenderly.

"Sometimes." He couldn't help but smile too.

The two of you arrive at the bar, Terry pulling out a seat for you at a table in the corner, then going to the front to order your drinks.

You sip on your cocktails talking about your days, upcoming cases, everything under the sun.

One drink turns into two, two turns into three and by then you're a little past tipsy.

"I think you've had enough." He takes the remainder of your drink, pushing it away from you.

"I'm fine, i could actually go for one more." You begin to stand, legs wobbly.

You nearly trip and fall on your face but Terry catches you just in time, trying his best not to laugh.

"Not funny." You glared holding onto his strong arms.

"Sorry, i'm sorry. Let's get you home." He grabs your belongings, looping his arm through yours and leading you back toward the car.

You bob your head to the radio, dancing in your seat, muttering the lyrics to some random song incoherently.

It was hilarious seeing you like this, Terry was no longer trying to hide his laughter, chuckling as you continued to sway to the beat, eyes closed almost as if you thought you were somewhere else, maybe the club.

He walks you upstairs to your apartment, letting you fumble with your keys for a moment before taking them and unlocking the door himself.

He makes you lay down on the couch, removing your shoes and placing a blanket over you.

He leaves a glass of water and a note on the coffee table, probably would've left an aspirin too if he knew where they were, that hangover was gonna be hell tomorrow, he already felt sorry for you.

He looked at you once more, eyes scanning you, lips slightly parted, lashes sweeping your cheeks, long braids that were previously pulled back into a bun now falling past your shoulders, chest moving up and down rhythmically as you slept.

You looked so peaceful, so beautiful.

He reached out to move your hair out of your face, finger brush your cheeks, hand cupping you face.

He quickly pulled away, scolding himself.

He looked at you one last time before exiting, making sure to lock the door behind him.

The next day he comes to pick you up, watching as you jogged toward the car, juggling various items.

You got inside placing them all in your lap, smiling nervously at him.

"I'm so sorry Terry, i just saw your message my phone was dead." You spoke as you buckled up your seatbelt, adjusting yourself.

"Also so sorry about last night, i'm so embarrassed." You held your face in your hands.

"No need to apologize, you were having fun, i enjoyed myself quite a bit too."He smirked.

"I bet you did, you sure seemed to get a kick out of it." You rolled your eyes playfully.

He started up the car, driving you back to yours, taking notice of the small winces you tried to hide, hand shielding your face from the sun.

"You okay?" He asks glancing over at you.

"Yeah i'll be fine, just a small headache, nothing an aspirin can't fix." You held up the small bottle shaking it.

You got into your car, following behind Terry.

You both went inside the firm, going your separate ways, your desk on the opposite side of the room from his.

You got settled in, going over some files from the case, just to wrap it up and turn in your reports.

"Y/n!" A sharp voice cut through the previously silent office.

You jumped at the harsh use of your name, turning around and coming face to face with the culprit, Luca.

Luca began working at the firm shortly after you, he was by no means good at his job, his father just so happened to be friends with the owner and that's how he wound up here.

The two of you worked a joint case a couple of weeks ago and it was beyond frustrating, you did all the heavy lifting while he just sat back twidling his thumbs, fucking around on company time instead of helping.

You took a deep breath before turning toward him, standing up and adjusting your skirt.

"Yes?" You forced a smile.

"Don't yes me, did you report me to the manager, did you tell him i wasn't fit to work here?" He spat angrily in your face, disregarding your personal space.

"I did nothing of the sort, i simply told him we weren't compatible, that it was best that we're weren't assigned anymore cases together." You spoke lowly doing your best to stay calm.

Just because you kept your head down didn't mean that you were a pushover, you just had a lot more to lose than anyone else, a whole lot more to lose than Luca for sure.

Everything was handed to him on a silver platter, he didn't even have any background in law, never went to school for it.

You on the other hand had to fight tooth and nail to get where you were, to secure your spot in a firm as established as this one, people that looked like you had to work incredibly hard while people like Luca got whatever they wanted at the snap of their fingers.

"Well whatever the hell you said caused me to lose my job." His face reddened.

Your eyes widen in suprise.

There was no way your words held that much weight, they had to have gotten tired of the man and his antics, tired enough to disregard his father's relationship with the company and let him go.

"I doubt that i had anything to do with that, as i said i didn't speak lowly of you, i simply stated that we don't mesh well, that's it." You blinked.

"Your days here are numbered, i'd watch my back if i were you, be on my p's and q's." He stepped closer to you if that was even possible, voice dangerously low.

You'd probably be scared if Luca actually intimated you, but the man did the exact opposite, he put no fear in your heart at all, if he had any common sense he try to preserve any dignity he had left and just leave instead of causing a scene like this.

You were about to open your mouth again to speak until Terry got between the two of you, pushing Luca back harshly then turning toward you.

"You alright?" He asked grabbing your shoulders, eyes scanning you worriedly.

"I'm fine." You nodded, grateful that he intervened.

Everyone else just stood around watching, whispering.

"You should mind your business, this is between me and her." He grabbed Terry's shoulder roughly attempting to spin him around but failing miserably.

"You made it my business when you got into a lady's face throwing a tantrum like a child because you couldn't handle criticism. She was actually being nice, you got fired because you're a shit lawyer, that's it, nothing more." Terry hovered over him, glaring down at the man.

Luca raised his fist, attempting to swing on Terry which he caught.

He swings again this time clipping him on the chin and Terry see's that as free reign to throw a punch himself, fist landing a nasty hit on his jaw, causing him to fall to the floor.

He was out cold.

A few of your coworkers rushed over to help him and one of them had called your manager.

"Richmond, my office now!" The older man's voice boomed throughout the building.

You gave him an apologetic look and he just shook his head before following your boss into his office.

You'd never forgive yourself if he got fired all for defending you.

The incident resulted in a two week suspension, thank god.

But you still felt bad, he was gonna miss two weeks of work unpaid because of you.

You apologized for what felt like the 100th time that day, sitting across from him holding his hand in yours, your other one placing an ice pack on his fist.

"How many times do i have to tell you, you have nothing to be sorry for, he was out of line, i don't regret a thing." Terry reassured you.

"But you could've lost your job, you could've-"

"I don't care, y/n he got in your face, he threatened you, i'd punch him again right now if i could." Terry closed his eyes, jaw clenching as the scene from earlier replayed in his head.

"If he put his hands on you I would've killed him, right then and there." His hard, cold eyes locked with yours.

You felt a shiver run down your spine and land right between your legs.

You forgot how good it felt to be protected, cared for.

You crossed your legs clearing your throat before speaking.

"Thanks, i appreciate you for always having my back." You smiled shyly.

"Always." He smiled too.

[girlactionfigure]

Antisemitism, an old saying goes, is the canary in the coal mine. The implication is that, when antisemitism is rising in a society, this is a telltale sign that said society is in decline. In many cases throughout history, this has very much been true. For example, the Nazis rose to power -- and later led their country into a suicidal war -- by mobilizing German society with inflammatory antisemitic rhetoric.

Nevertheless, I’ve always really hated the expression, not because it’s necessarily untrue, but because of the implication that what really makes antisemitism matter is that Jew-hatred eventually poisons everything and everyone else. I think antisemitism matters because Jews are human beings, and that should be enough for us to act decisively against it, not because antisemitism might, in the future, affect other groups of people.

Regardless, I do think that it’s important for people to understand why and how antisemitism eventually might affect them too.

ANTISEMITISM AS A SIGN OF SOCIETAL DECLINE

Which came first: the chicken or the egg? In other words, do societies decline because of antisemitism, or does antisemitism rise because societies are in decline? In my opinion, it’s a little bit of both.

First, it’s important to understand how antisemitism functions. Antisemitism is not only a bigotry, but a worldview that relies on conspiracies, scapegoating, and projection. When things are bad -- for instance, when a society is in disarray -- people need someone to blame. When a child went missing in the Middle Ages, who was at fault? Why, the Jews, of course. When as much as 30 to 60% of the European population died from the Black Death in the 14th century, who was to blame? The Jews. When Weimar Germany suffered from economic hardships, who else could be at fault but the Jews?

I personally noticed this phenomenon in real-time in 2020, following the murder of George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter protests. Instead of holding American police to account for their police brutality, very quickly, antisemites swept in with the “Deadly Exchange” conspiracy theory, which absurdly posits that it’s the Jewish state that is at fault for police brutality in the United States (as though American police brutality didn’t exist before 1948!). In this sense, it’s obvious that antisemitism rises when societies are in strife.

On the other hand, pre-existing antisemitism will poison everything in a society. White supremacists and Islamic fundamentalist terrorist groups, for example, often recruit followers with antisemitic rhetoric, but their violence targets more than just Jews. It doesn’t take long for hostile antisemitic environments to become hostile to many other groups of people.

"FIRST THEY CAME FOR THE..."

Surely you’ve heard the famous Martin Niemöller poem: “First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out — because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out — because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out — because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me — and there was no one left to speak for me.”

It is, perhaps, the quotation most often associated with the Holocaust and the Nazi persecution of Jews and political dissidents. And while Pastor Niemöller certainly had a point, the question bears repeating: why must others be targeted alongside Jews for antisemitism to matter? Shouldn’t antisemitism matter simply because Jews are human beings deserving of fundamental human rights and dignity?

As it turns out, Niemöller never quite got the memo. In the early 1930s, he not only openly agreed with Nazi ideology, but he voted the Nazis into power. His change of heart came not because he atoned for his antisemitism, but because he disliked how the Nazi Party was meddling with the Lutheran Church, which led to his eventual arrest. Even worse: after the Allied victory, he opposed the de-Nazification of Germany because he thought that it would “do more harm than good.”

In the end, it seems, for Niemöller, antisemitism only mattered when it affected him personally.

"FIRST THE SATURDAY PEOPLE, THEN THE SUNDAY PEOPLE"

The proverb “min sallaf es-sabt lāqā el-ḥadd qiddāmūh” — “after Saturday comes Sunday”— is used in many Middle Eastern countries, including Egypt, Syria, and Lebanon, to describe the treatment of Middle Eastern Jews and Christians. A popular variation is “first the Saturday people [Jews, who observe Shabbat on Saturday], then the Sunday people [Christians, who attend church on Sundays.” The idea is that what has been done to the Jews of the Middle East is now what is being done to Middle Eastern Christians.

The origins of the phrase, with this particular meaning, are contested, but some historians trace it back to the 1936-1939 Arab Revolt in Palestine and claim that it was coined by the followers of the Nazi collaborator Palestinian leader Haj Amin Al-Husseini. The phrase has also been attributed to the pro-Zionist Maronite Christians in Lebanon in the 1930s and 1940s. After the British authorities passed the 1939 White Paper, which virtually banned all Jewish immigration to and land purchases in Palestine, some Palestinian Arab Christians reportedly worried that they would be marginalized next.

In the 1940s and 1950s, virtually 100% of the Jewish population of the Middle East — which once numbered at around a million — was expelled from their homes in a series of systematic expulsions and massacres.  

Unfortunately, much as the proverb predicts, Middle Eastern Christians have suffered a similar fate. In 1900, Christians made up about 13% of the population of the Middle East. Today, Christians form only 4% of the Middle Eastern population.

Assyrian, Maronite, Coptic, and other Native Middle Eastern Christians have been driven out of their homes by Islamic fundamentalist violence, a recent example being the massacres and executions perpetrated by ISIS.

JIHADIST GROUPS

Like white supremacist groups, Islamist jihadist groups such as ISIS have historically used antisemitic rhetoric as a “gateway drug” for recruitment. For example, Damon Joseph, also known as Abdullah Ali Yusuf, was indicted by a federal court in late 2018 for providing material support to ISIS. After an investigation, it seems that Joseph had been radicalized within a matter of months, following his conversion to Islam. Joseph, however, had espoused antisemitic beliefs for years, and it seems that his pre-existing antisemitic worldview influenced his fundamentalist interpretation of Islam.

According to former CIA agent John Kiriakou, after the CIA captured Abu Zubaydah, who at the time was believed to be the number three in Al Qaeda, Abu Zubaydah said that he never hated America and only wanted to kill Jews and attack Israel.  

Similarly, in his 2002 “Letter to the American People,” in which he “explained” the 9/11 attacks, Al Qaeda founder Osama bin Laden justified his terrorist acts on the basis that the United States is allied with Israel and Jews allegedly “control” the American government.

Since the outbreak of the Israel-Hamas War, Jihadist groups have recruited lone wolf attackers in third countries by inciting against Israel.  

Hezbollah, which was formed to fight Israel’s existence, has now taken the lives of Syrians, Lebanese, Iranians, and much more.  

Antisemitism is closely linked to Islamist terrorism, even terrorism that doesn’t specifically target Jews, and it should be considered an international security threat.

WHITE SUPREMACY

Antisemitism is foundational to white supremacy, but it is not exclusive to white supremacy. White supremacy does not exist without antisemitism, but white supremacists don’t exclusively target Jews, and non-white supremacist ideologies can be antisemitic, too. In other words, all white supremacists are antisemitic, but not all antisemites are white supremacists, and white supremacists are bigoted toward many other groups of people, too.

Antisemitism plays a very specific function within white supremacy. White supremacists rely on antisemitism to (1) scapegoat, and (2) divide and conquer. For example, white supremacists believe that Jews are behind a supposed “white genocide,” aiming to replace white folks with Brown and Black folks. In other words, what starts with Jews doesn’t just end with Jews.

White supremacist groups often recruit online with antisemitic rhetoric, and many violent white supremacists were radicalized by consuming antisemitic content.

In the 1920s, the resurgence of the Ku Klux Klan is tied directly to the 1913 lynching of Leo Frank, a Jewish American. The KKK then went on to terrorize Black Americans.

DOMESTIC TERRORISM, MASS SHOOTINGS

Many domestic terrorists and mass shooters have been radicalized through antisemitic rhetoric, even if their violence eventually targeted other people. Some examples include Nikolas Cruz, who murdered 17 Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students and employees in 2018, and the perpetrators of the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing, which killed 168 people.

rootsmetals

you shouldn’t wait until antisemitism affects you personally to care, but antisemitism *will* affect you personally eventually, whether you’re Jewish or not.

For a full bibliography of my sources, please head over to my Instagram and  Patreon. 

[formulakracing]

enemies? worse than that. — f.a.

pairing -> fem!driver reader x fernando alonso

word count -> 3.3k

warnings -> cursing, light/mild violence, mentions of online hate, sexual innuendos (if you squint really closely), hurt + comfort, jealousy, light injuries, age gap mentions, yadayadayada

a/n -> this fic stemmed from this ask in the garage. i'm sorry i just got to this one, babe. i hope you enjoy it! <3

in the world of formula 1, animosity was normal.

welcomed, even.

with the competitive nature of the sport, there was no escaping it.

there was always drama. a driver who refused to acknowledge their mistake that cost another driver their podium. a driver who got a little handsy, shoving another driver after a heated exchange of words. a driver who would refuse to accept that they had teammates. a driver who timed their overtake a bit too late, barreling into another car.

it was just the reality of the sport. although it was not as physical as football, rugby, or even wrestling, the adrenaline would fuel outbursts, the tension palpable by even the most casual of fan.

yet, there were times the tension was fabricated too. some of the gossip was purely baseless rumors, where other times it was a tiny spat that was overexaggerated for the sake of social media attraction. a headline generated for some clicks or views.

you were a good girl.

you kept your head down low, only spoke when spoken to, and rarely let the adrenaline get the best of you. you kept things as clean as possible, anxious of the nuclear fallout. you even inhibited your abilities, just enough so you stayed midfield.

well, it’s not like you wanted to hold back.

you just figured it was better that way. there was less risk of a crash that way. and with no accidents or damage to the car, you could avoid blame from the fans and media when there were far from stellar performances.

life as a formula one rookie was rough enough.

being the only female driver on the grid was like pouring gasoline over an open flame.

sure, there were rough days. sessions where you felt completely and utterly defeated, tears streaming down your cheeks the moment you clawed that balaclava off. races where the dream of a podium felt almost impossible to achieve. nights where you wanted to chuck your helmet against the wall, screaming until your lungs gave out.

however, there was nowhere else you would rather be.

nothing in life compared to being behind the wheel of the car. nothing was as fulfilling as racing, the euphoria pumping through your veins as you soared down that straight. nothing else inspired you or brought you the intense thrill that formula one did.

you absolutely loved the sport. everything and anything about it.

well, almost everything.

and that one thing? well, it was not a thing. it was a person.

a driver, actually. his name?

fernando alonso.

the spaniard was a veteran, in the midst of his twenty-first season. he had seen it all, from a turbulent rookie year to dozens upon dozens of podiums. he had relished in that sweet, sweet taste of victory. he had heard the thunder of dozens upon dozens of fireworks, savoring the way the crowd roared his name.

with two championship titles, thirty-two grand prix wins, and twenty-two pole positions, you would think that he would be slowing down, eager to begin a life off of the grid.

to your dismay, he was contracted with aston martin until the end 2026. that meant two more seasons of his snarky remarks and unwarranted antics.

ever since lance finally convinced his father to let him take a step back from racing, you were promoted to fill the aston martin seat. you spent 2024 as their reserve driver, keeping a low profile. of course, acquiring a female driver was a shock to many, but since it was aston martin, it was not as coveted as signing with red bull or ferrari.

in andy cowell's mind, the move made perfect sense. after all, he felt that you deserved it, as you proved your patience. and whenever you did test, you were stellar. there was no need to bring in a fresh face from formula two, who would only crumble under the intense pressure.

in his eyes, you were a driver worth investing in. someone who could make history, all eyes falling on aston martin and their first female world champion.

a star in the making.

aston martin's diamond in the rough.

yet, there was one person who was not too fond of the newbie.

and that person was fernando.

you see, it was not like he was harassing you.

it was more along the lines of him making your life as inconvenient as possible.

he was colder than the rest of the aston martin team, barely speaking more than two to three words to you at a time. he refused to participate in sponsorships or social media bits with you. he would only address you by "newbie", never by your name.

he would call out your mistakes during press conferences. he would blame you for underperforming during race weekends. he would giggle and gossip about you with the other drivers, sparking rumors that you were interested in carlos. some weekends he proclaimed it was charles or lando.

he never went too far, though. he never intentionally rammed into your car or put you in risk of danger. he never created false narratives to share with the media. he never slandered you so badly that it prevented you from competing.

it was mostly harmless. things you would have dealt with in middle school. behaviors you felt that a man of his age should have outgrown.

in your mind, it was his fucked up way of welcoming you to the grid. some sort of test you needed to pass in order to be accepted by not only him, but the other drivers. you needed to suffer as much as possible your rookie year in order to climb that social ladder.

from the beginning, you figured you would match his energy.

you would fight the fire with your own flames.

his taunts were met with retaliation, the jabs countered by venomous barbs. when he went low, you went lower. you were not going down without putting up a fight.

and every time his voice would lower, his head tilting ever so slightly, just a few degrees enough for you to notice. there was this glint swimming in his depths, almost as if he was pleading for you to keep going, to keep the insults flowing.

the notes would get breathy, his chest rising and falling at a more rapid heart.

it was almost as if he liked getting a reaction out of you.

he would push at your buttons, just enough to keep you frustrated.

almost as if he enjoyed it, soaking in every second.

almost as if this was a game for him.

a game that he would not win.

not while you were in that damn aston martin seat.

however, there was one particular aspect of it all that left you spiraling, lying wide awake at night. your mind would rewind, replaying every moment of every sole interaction that you have ever had with this man.

unfortunately, you had developed a crush on fernando.

a significant one, at that.

in the midst of every quarrel, your eyes would meet. heat would billow into your cheeks, your heart rate only skyrocketing as he maintained the eye contact, his gaze every so often flickering to your lips. there was one instance in which you swore you heard him utter, keep going baby. at those words, your knees buckled, your throat tightening.

to make things worse, you loved hearing him speak to you like that.

it was almost as if he was praising you for it.

there was no denying that fernando was a handsome man. lately, he was growing out his hair, the fluffy strands unruly. along his chiseled jawline was a constant five o'clock shadow, the stubble prominent at all times. whenever you caught a glimpse of the inked skin poking above the collar of his clothing, you a shiver ran down your spine.

and fuck, his eyes were oh so stunning. the hues were reminiscent of sunlight pouring in through a forest, the rays of light illuminating the dusty earth. the colors were rich and vivid, shimmering as they drank you in.

he thought he would get away with it, but you've caught his gaze lingering for just a little too long, carefully capturing any detail before pulling away.

there was a part of you that wondered if all of this was his fucked up way of flirting, but you denied it.

there was no way in hell fernando was into you.

there was just no damn way.

november 3rd, 2024

"look at all of this shit."

a driver clicks his tongue, shaking his head ever so slightly. various hues of emerald blur in his peripheral, members of the crew chattering about.

"what do you think of the rain, eh?" the spaniard's body shifts, facing his race engineer, "you think it will cause some chaos out there?"

"fernando," chris rolls his eyes, "you and i both know what happens when that asphalt gets slick. just follow your gut. do what you feel is right."

"of course," a chuckle flows from fernando's lips, the driver wagging a finger at his engineer, "no funny business out there."

another member of the crew strolls up to chris, murmuring something that fernando can't quite decipher. chris exhales, his stare fixated on the rain as it pounded the pavement. fernando puckers his lips, words dangling on the tip of his tongue. yet, he can't speak.

someone else enters his line of sight, stealing any shred of attention he had left.

that someone else was you.

licking his lips, he calls out, "are you going to be able to handle a little rain?"

your jaw clenches, head swiveling as your brow furrows, "i can, actually. not sure how you'll fare, though."

"is that a challenge?" he can't help but feel his lips twitch, curling into a smirk, "let's see if you can even make it past the first turn before hydroplaning."

"you're on." you shoot him a wink, blowing him a kiss, "i'll make sure i find you in the crowd when i'm on that podium."

"sure," fernando tuts, folding his arms across his chest, "we'll see about that one, baby girl."

we'll see about that one, baby girl.

you freeze, earning a laugh from him. he cocks his head, tongue running along his teeth, "cat got your tongue?"

"n-no," you spit out, "save it for the race, fernando."

as you storm off, there's a sensation burning within, the flames licking about.

god, he craved riling you up.

you see, it was not like he was trying to make your life at aston martin miserable. to him, it was more like poking the bear, to see just how many buttons he had to push before you snapped. the moment in which you would become you, the real you. the person he knew was hiding in there, anxiously anticipating her moment the shine.

he was waiting for the moment in which you would unleash your full potential, fighting tooth and nail for that podium. the moment in which would make the other drivers fear you, not daring to overtake or pull cheap shots.

fernando was well aware you had the talent to be the world champion.

you just needed a little push here and there to unlock it.

before he knew it, he was sliding into the seat, shoving his fingers into the gloves. there was a slight rain delay, but nothing that had never encountered before. he was a professional, a seasoned driver in conditions like this.

however, as the car lurches onto the track, there's this feeling that blossoms into his chest. it tugs at his heart, head raising so that he could glance over, taking one last look before all hell broke loose.

you are in your own car, visor flipped down. droplets of rain glitter on your helmet, the suit a darker shade than usual from all of the moisture.

although he can't see your face underneath the helmet, he knows that your lips are slightly pursed. your eyes are narrowed, lasered in, hoping to catch a glimpse of the flag. concentration paints your features, but he knows in that moment, you could not be more beautiful.

if only you knew.

if only.

the second the roar of engines fill his ears is when it all blurs together.

parts fly in the air, a tire whizzing past. his heart thuds against his rib-cage, but he knows he cannot stop. he cannot make any mistakes. one delayed reaction could lead to devastation.

"fernando, they're waving a red flag. head to the pits and await further directions."

"what is going on? what happened?" he pants, his chest heaving, "tell me, who was involved?"

"there was an accident. we think she's going to be okay, but we're not sure. hence, the double-flag. first, we need to get you pitted."

"i-is she injured?" his fingers tremble, "d-do you guys know her status?"

"our priority is getting you to the pits safely. we will reconvene once you're back."

"fuck!" the driver shouts, tears forming as he maneuvers about, shifting between the brake and gas. the rain is torrential, shrouding the grandstands and his nearby surroundings.

he should have warned her. he should have given her some tips. he should have made it his priority to ensure she made it out of the first lap safely.

yet, it was too late.

"fuck! fuck! fuck!"

november 4th, 2024

harsh, sterile light seeps into your vision, nearly blinding as you groan, stirring. as your eyes adjust, you wrinkle your nose, sensing something taped to your hand.

as you make it out, you realize it's an i.v., hooked to a bag floating above your head. swallowing, you sense someone else in the room, but you are ensure of who it may be.

"there she is."

his voice is familiar, one you found comfort in.

"w-what happened?" the words are coughed out, but he understand them nonetheless, "where a-am i?"

fernando straightens in his chair, slightly leaning over the bed rail, "we're at a nearby hospital. i'm not too sure of where, exactly."

a searing pain shoots into your skull, earning a wince. fernando's fingers roam across your forehead, brushing a few strands of hair from your brow.

"do you remember what happened?"

"no," a giggle bubbles up in your throat as you pick out the concern plastered across his features. his jaw is tight, lips etched in a tightly knit frown, "but i think i'm dreaming because you're by my side. i would've expected andy or ben."

"you're not dreaming, beautiful girl," he murmurs. his hands reach out the rail, settling on yours, "it's me, i'm here."

"but you're alone," propping yourself up with an elbow, you inhale sharply, "you would rather retire than spend quality time with your teammate."

"not just any old teammate," cautiously, he brings a hand to his lips, gently pressing them against each knuckle, "the teammate i look forward to teasing every day."

your heart skips a beat as he switches hand, peppering the heated skin with gentle kisses, "you hate me, fernando."

"hate?" his eyes widen, mouth flying open, "you think i hate you?"

"i-i mean," you shrug, "you treat me like i'm your enemy."

"i know," the words are eerily quiet, merely a whisper, "i know i treat you that way. and for that, i am sorry."

"are you just saying that or do you mean that?"

"do you want to know why i treat you the way i do? you want me to be honest?" he arches a brow, intertwining your fingers together, "i know what you want me to say, but i want to just hear it."

bliss ripples in your chest at the action, the medication seeping into your veins, "a-are you sure i'm not dreaming, nando?"

at the sound of his nickname falling from your lips, he nearly loses control.

"you're not dreaming, beautiful girl. i was worried about you, so i came in and waited by your side until you woke up. i'm attracted to you, angel. you're so stunning it leaves me speechless. and i know if i give in to my feelings, if i let them consume me, i am going to be under your spell for the rest of my life.

you are so determined, so bright, so talented. it hurts me that you don't maximize your full potential when we are on the track. although it may seem like i hate you, i just can't help myself. so, i have to find another outlet for these feelings. there's no other way i would be able to concentrate, let alone reach my goals with you around. so, i have to keep my distance. i have to remind myself that it's not you, it's me. it's a bit juvenile, but there's no other way for me to function."

his confession leaves you reeling, the beeping of the monitor speeding up as he rises to his feet, leaving over the rail. his mouth hovers above yours, merely centimeters away as the tip of nose brushes against yours.

yet, the next round of medications are settling in, pulling you into the depths of slumber. licking your lips, your lashes flutter as the tip of his nose brushes against yours.

"nando," you hum, "it sounds like to me you're in love with me."

at that, he squeezes your hand, flashing you a dazzling smile, "i just might be, angel. i just might be."

"you shouldn't be scared of your feelings. you should feel them. who knows, it may work out in your favor."

"who knows," his voice is hushed, "oh, pretty girl. looks like your meds are kicking in, huh?"

you nod, the corners of your lips forming a pout, "mhmmm. will you stay with me? until i wake up again? i want to know i'm not dreaming."

"i will," there were no hesitations, "i'll stay here until you wake up again. sleep well, angel."

as you doze off, the spanish driver fiddles with a few of your things, organizing them. as dazed as you were, he did not want to create any further confusion when you woke up once again. he was going to take advantage of this moment in time, as he was unsure of when he was going to get it again.

as far as the accident, you were stable. unfortunately, going into one of the first few turns, you fell victim to kevin magnussen, the two of you colliding. since you received the impact, both you and the car were in far worse shape. you spun out of control, barreling into the nearby barriers.

they rushed you by ambulance to the closest hospital, the spanish driver filled to the brim with dread as he watched you leave the track, hauled away in the emergency vehicle.

he ended up finishing in the fourteenth position. not anywhere near where he wanted to be, but his mind was other places.

he was far more concerned about you. how you were doing, what injuries you suffered, and where they were bringing you in for treatment. the second he was able, he flew to the hospital, jogging into the lobby. he was out of breath, exhausted from the events of the day, but it didn't matter.

all that mattered was you.

fortunately, you were diagnosed with minor injuries. you had a concussion, along with a few broken ribs. you would make a strong recovery, bouncing back within a matter of weeks. you were in and out of sleep, but he did not mind.

he would sit and wait. as long as you needed him, he would be by your side.

who was going to be the first one to pester you once you were discharged? who else would be there to make you laugh? to get that light back in your eyes?

after all, there were many questions to be answered.

and he would get those answers.

not anytime in the near future, but soon enough.

however, buried deeply in his heart, he knew how you felt. you did not have to say a single word.

the radiant grin that appeared when you saw him was enough.

[charon-cries]

your martin could literally brutally murder me and i'd still think he did nothing wrong. i'd give the man a cookie. he deserves one i think.

i don't think he'd actually hurt someone himself, but he does deserve a little violence. as a treat. just like that cookie

[teleit]

Who would be the best ruler of Westeros? Me, I have the desire to do good deeds, even when others beg for mercy

Jokes aside, but really - who? The show actively tells me that Rhaenyra is the only possible option, because this woman glows in the dark from all the blessings received from every god in existence and shits wisdom and greatness.

But is she? Let's hear my useless opinion.

First, where are we looking - at canon (the book), or at the screened fanfic (the show)?

In terms of canon, I think Jacaerys was the best option, but only because the other candidates were complete failures. The way Martin described this boy, even through the lens of the biased Black and Green sources, sounds promising. Yes, 90% of his decisions ended up being failures - he suggested recruiting more dragonriders from dragon seeds, and got Hugh and Ulf; he suggested sending Aegon III and Viserys to Pentos, and they were captured by the Triarchy; he went to rescue his brothers with a bunch of newbies who could barely stay on their dragons, and he ended up getting killed.

If it weren't for the circumstances of his birth, which would inevitably lead to a rebellion by the lords outraged by a bastard on the throne, Jacaerys might have been a good king. He just needed time to grow up.

But on the show? No one. No one at all. None of these people, they are all absolutely terrible.

Rhaenyra? That woman wouldn't know the word "responsibility" if it ambushed her in a parking lot and beat the crap out of her. She doesn't understand what ruling is even twenty years after being named heir, and she asks helplessly "what should I do?", wringing her hands at every difficulty. She does one stupid thing after another, driven by anything but common sense. If she were queen, we'd have another crisis in ten years or so.

Daemon? Lmao. No. That dude lived, fucked and died for shits and giggles, he can't be trusted with snow in the winter.

Jacaerys? That's the boy who solves problems with violence (pulling out a dagger when insulted, punching his uncle in the face when insulted, need I go on?), and loses every fight he starts. He doesn't speak Valyrian, constantly whines and cries to his fiancée and mother that he doesn't know what to do or how to be, and is practically useless during wartime (because his smart decisions were given to Rhaenyra, but that's another story).

Lucerys? Yeah, sure, how can you forget how he handled himself so perfectly at dinner when he should have just kept his mouth shut, but instead he decided that laughing at the crazy uncle he maimed and never apologized for was the height of comedy, better only fart jokes. That boy had one brain cell, and it was on permanent sick leave for the entire season.

Rhaenys? A woman who talks about the slavery of the patriarchy and submits to the decisions of her ambitious to the point of stupidity husband. Marrying her little daughter to her forty year old cousin? Why not. Losing two children because of Rhaenyra and Daemon, and continuing to serve their interests, even though they use her as they please, because Corlys hopes that someday it will pay off? Excellent solution, let's also scold husband for not loving his own bastards enough, and then die ingloriously and uselessly. Yes, the queen we deserve, Rhaenys the Spineless.

Aegon? He can only be a good king if a miracle happens and he stops listening to the idiots around him, gets rid of his mommy and daddy issues, and starts using his head for more than just pouring wine into mouth. Which won't happen, because the writers HATE this man. He'll be pathetic and useless, and then he'll die, because gods forbid there should be an equal fight between a woman and a man for the throne, a woman needs to kick a body sprawled on the ground, disarmed and incapacitated, so that everyone understands that she is superior to him in everything.

Aemond? Season 1 - maybe after a couple of years of therapy, Season 2 - no, he literally doesn't have a single thought in his head except "blood revenge hate aaarrrgghhh", and only occasionally do we see glimpses of a complex character, thanks to Ewan's insane talent.

Helaena? Poor girl, who was just like Aemond crippled by the script so much that even Martin couldn't stand it (Helaena will die just because, for no reason… wow, such deep character development…), give her her bugs and leave her alone.

In canon, the dance of the dragons is the result of well-intentioned stupidity of several generations, in the show - a parable of why incest is bad, just look at how much the mental capacity of people whose family tree looks like a wreath has suffered.

Ps. Still not native speaker and dgaf about mistakes, english can suck my imaginary dick

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

Wretched Thing That I Am

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/xF5pyvi by MoonlightAndDust Jon doesn’t snap when everyone he knows turns their faces away from him. Jon doesn’t snap when Melanie, shocked awake by the removal of her own Thing inside of her, gores his shoulder with the scalpel he dropped. Jon nearly snaps when Jared Hopworth plunges a hand smoothly into his chest to grasp at his ribs, and he feels the Boneturner’s fingertips brush past the Thing inside of him. Jon doesn’t snap when the Buried swallows him whole. Jon doesn’t snap when he Looks into the heart of the Dark Sun and eats it whole. Jon doesn’t snap when the others Intervene. He doesn’t snap even when Martin kills the last of his hope. He doesn’t snap. He doesn’t snap. He doesn’t snap. He won’t. Snap. ... Until he does. Words: 13789, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Elias Bouchard | Jonah Magnus, Jude Perry, Other Avatars, mentioned other characters Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Basira Hussain & Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Alice "Daisy" Tonner Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Monster Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Canon-Typical Violence, Body Horror, Fix-It of Sorts, Includes Art, i drawed it myself :), Daisy and Jon deserve to be best friends, Jon is Beholding’s specialest little boy, Beholding Avatar Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Self-Acceptance, of a sort, The Magnus Archives Season 4, One-Shot, Beta Read, Love Confessions, the inherent romance of your partner turning into a monster to protect you read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/xF5pyvi

[voidshrub]

Make a tierlist of Epithet Erased

https://tiermaker.com/create/epithet-erased-prison-of-plastic-1494482

Hi anon I did it

Added a few modifications here and there, mainly I think Gio's boys deserve their own tier and it's high up because I love them all :3

I feel like rambling a little bit so notes under the cut cause why not (And spoilers also)

Ok first of all. I was gonna give Lori S tier but also she makes me too angry sometimes. I love you Lori but girl. Girlie-

I was considering Feenie to have her own tier because she is like Jello's daughter and she is also very wonderful. But I was too lazy so she goes in A tier, only because I don't feel as strongly about her as I feel for the characters I put in S tier (same for Trixie)

Now that I think about it Naven should be in S tier he is so badass and awesome and I love him. But I am too sleepy to go back and fix the list so uhm pretend he is in the Correct tier :)

I forgot half of the season 1 cast existed I am so sorry I was simply sobbing uncontrollably over Giovanni being the absolute best dad ever to be conceived

The barcode dude is up there cause I really really like his design it's so rad

I don't like Zora that much that's why she's where she is I'm sorry. She has great motives for what she does very cool very interesting but I simply do not Vibe with her. Also she spit in Ramsey's mouth -points for that, big red buzzer noise

I actually didn't recognize Yoomtah until I read she was Naven's chauffer! She screams a lot and I don't have many Opinions on her existence yet but she seems relevant I think

Stink is where he is because he is Stink. End of discussion (and the minibosses are also there like that cause I don't have much of an opinion about them except that the dragon looks pretty neat)

The sheriff is down there cause he reminds me of Martin and I hate Martin. Sorry sheriff you did nothing wrong really (except misfire a gun I think)

Is that the uhhh. The mundie that threatens the Neo Trio at the start of PoP? Why is she here did I miss something. Or maybe she's different and I'm a little dumb (it's the sleep I will sleep I promise)

I think it is the Right Opinion to hate Martin. You should all hate Martin. My Various Hammers and White Hot Rage would like to have a few choice words with him. Violence is never the answer except when it is, which is now. Towards Martin. Fuck that guy

[littlepetbee]

alriiiight @seeinhindsight i thought long and hard and came up with a list idea for your reading and cheering up pleasure! one of my fav things in narratives is when the setting is inseparable from the story: it shapes it, it causes it, in some ways it is the story. or maybe, if we're lucky, the setting is almost a character itself.

so without further ado, here is A List Of Setting-Oriented Stories That I Love (in no particular order):

1) Here Today by Ann M. Martin: (Setting As Personhood and Protector) a gut-wrenching little middle-reader novel that has haunted me since i was 13 where a cul-de-sac full of weird outcast poor kids and their parents/neighbors are both harmed and held together by being from Witch Tree Lane. 10/10, have not stopped thinking about it for 20 years and upon reading it again in my 30s was happy to find that it holds up <3

2) IT by Stephen King: (The Horror of Setting) the novel and the movies are both really good, but when it comes to the setting aspect, the book wipes the floor with the movies. 1153 pages of how derry, maine eats people alive (sometimes literally), shapes them into what they were destined to be from the foundation of the world (for better or for worse), and creates the cycle of violence while also being the only way to break it. 9/10, mr. king, you and your cocaine are fucking crazy

3) Teen Wolf: (Setting As Villain) i'd be remiss not to put this on the list when it ruled my life for almost a decade, no? even in the batshittery that this show could be at times, you can't escape the fucking brilliance of beacon hills, california being a literal beacon for the supernatural, awoken by the heartfelt sacrifice of three kids that were willing to die to save their parents. god. if only jeff davis knew how to delve deep. we really could've had something there. 6/10, because s5 brings that shit wayyyy down

4) Outer Banks: (Setting As Motivation) i'm mostly drawing from season 1 since anything truly meaningful went out the window after that, BUT setting a treasure hunting story on an island where "you either have two jobs or two houses" is just. the best fucking decision they could've made. you see the stark contrast between Figure 8 and the rest of the island in the same light as the pogues do, informing their desperate (and sometimes bad) choices and rewarding these kids for not knowing when to quit. 10/10 for season 1, 5/10 as a whole

5) Low Tide: (Setting As Motivation 2.0) following up obx with this one because it's literally exactly the same thing lmao. once again teenagers, once again treasure hunting, once again a setting that breeds wealth inequality - in this case, a beach town where the rich swoop in for the summer and then get to leave, while the poor are stuck there forever, holding everything down. what can i say...when i like a theme, it'll always be the more the merrier. TWO CAKES, as they say. 7/10, thank you jaeden martell for my life

6) Feel The Beat: (Setting As Story Success) idk if that tagline makes sense, but i mean that if this cheesy little dance movie that i love with all of my stupid, sentimental, old lady heart was set anywhere other than Bootyass Nowhere, Wisconsin, it wouldn't have worked. sure, the same sort of plotline could play out, but it would be missing most of the heart, depth, realism, and casseroles that make it great. 10/10, no notes. and i really truly mean that.

7) Attack The Block: (Setting As Both Savior and Destroyer) this is a newer one (and it was on my last list lol) but it really fucking got me, guys. the backdrop of an alien invasion being a british housing estate where the people are already used to banding together against outside forces is a stroke of genius. and then the intersection of classism and racism and how they link up to punish the people that deserve it least...fuck. 8/10 as we established last time

8) Plan B: (America Is Hell) not a #deep and hard-hitting exploration of setting in any way, but a hard-hitting story so deeply american in nature that you can't really ever forget it during the entire runtime. it haunts the narrative at every single turn, from parties to pharmacies to rundown little dive bars and playgrounds after dark. the usa is its own special brand of Fucked and even our teen comedies can't escape it. 9/10, just because I Did Not Ask To See That Penis, Thanks

9) Tarzan: (Finding Yourself Through Setting) GENUINELY MY FAVORITE MOVIE OF ALL TIME! (and maybe where this whole Setting thing started for me? who knows.) just. the jungle as a place to get away from all the societal noise and expectations and rules and just learn to Be. to be and feel and love and make your own choices. and for once in the damn movie canon of the world, the heroine gets to stay! she gets to stay. she doesn't leave her happiness behind and even gets to keep her father, who stays with her too!! 10/10, god fucking bless my soul

9.5) also shoutout to The Legend Of Tarzan which is much, much different but a solid 8/10 because all tarzans are good tarzans :')

10) Joy Ride: (Setting As Suffocation) the vast majority of this horror/thriller movie happens either 1) inside a car or 2) inside a single hotel room and that makes it so much more terrifying. it really does feel suffocating and like there's nowhere to hide and no way to escape this angry faceless man growling at you over the radio. guh, i'm shuddering just thinking about it. 8/10, when will boys stop being so stupid

the end <3

[cobra-wives]

TWENTY-TWENTY-KOVE: LOG #13

LITTLE MURDERS

baby's first role!! (yes, it wasn't women in revolt; which we'll be revisiting sometime later on this month if i want to.) "that's MARTIN???" yes. that's martin. i swept over this film THREE TIMES making sure that little twig was martin, and yeah. that's him! i've got a theory: this film was actually filmed YEAAAARS before it released, and martin was a twiggy little boy before he bulked up in the theatres of neww yorka citayyyy. there has to be an explanation THAT'S NOT MY HUBBA HUBBA HUNKA!!!

[smacks myself in the face] FUCK focus you numbskull and give this film the grace it deserves! i thought little murders was SUPER good and a very powerful movie made in its time, FOR its time - lots about gun violence in new york city, family, the dangers of nihilism... there's so many cogs at work here. this is actually one of my favorite things to talk about; crime in the 70s, and all the different influences that came into play in pushing those high rates (familial issues, war, poverty, so many different and intertwining factors, a growing arms race) and this film, which was WAY too radical for its time, manages to hit all of those so unsubtly. i love myself a good artsy film that gets super introspective about themes that are, have been, and will later on through this challenge become more and more relevant!

a LOT of the themes martin's movies (and in action movies from his era in general) are affected by this scope of time - urban violence, ethical conflict, and law enforcement inadequacy - and in some odd way that i'm sure nobody but me cares about, i find it really poetic that he started his career out in a small little cameo in this film. little murders, you get a place in the final video essay. <3

bonus: elliot gould and donald sutherland, who delivered some AMAZING performances in this film. and are just amazing actors in general.

[esther-dot]

I have seen different takes of Sansan and how they react to the Hound abusing Sansa. Those who believe that Sansa deserves to be punished and marry Hound are actually Sansa antis. Some believe that what Hound was doing is teaching her life truth and because of him Sansa learns humility. Then there are fans who knew Sansa is a good girl and Hound did abuse her but they think Sansa could redeem him and he will be her knight. All of them are doing injustice to Sansa.

It is a great injustice to Sansa to downplay her fear and minimize the very real threat the Hound was.

Sansa hugged herself, suddenly cold. "Why are you always so hateful? I was thanking you . . ."

"Just as if I was one of those true knights you love so well, yes. What do you think a knight is for, girl? You think it's all taking favors from ladies and looking fine in gold plate? Knights are for killing." He laid the edge of his longsword against her neck, just under her ear. Sansa could feel the sharpness of the steel. "I killed my first man at twelve. I've lost count of how many I've killed since then. High lords with old names, fat rich men dressed in velvet, knights puffed up like bladders with their honors, yes, and women and children too—they're all meat, and I'm the butcher. Let them have their lands and their gods and their gold. Let them have their sers." Sandor Clegane spat at her feet to show what he thought of that. "So long as I have this," he said, lifting the sword from her throat, "there's no man on earth I need fear." (ACOK, Sansa IV)

Let’s not minimize what he’s doing here. He assures her, he kills women and children, while his sword is pressed against her skin. The Hound's casual violence, consistent threats, aren't erased just because he didn't want others to rape her. In the end, he attempted to do so himself which means all of these instances where he intimidated her need to be accepted as what they are—not rewritten as if he didn’t mean them. He did have that potential all along, and it’s a horrifying dynamic as a result.

I understand AUs change the dynamics and ages, but in canon, so much of the interaction is the Hound being cruel and terrifying Sansa, there is nothing enjoyable for me there. Also, it's a pattern that he saves her and then threatens her, so rewriting the assault as something else isn't a fair reading. We were told from the beginning he might protect her from other threats, but he was always a threat as well.

The silence went on and on, so long that she began to grow afraid once more, but she was afraid for him now, not for herself. She found his massive shoulder with her hand. "He was no true knight," she whispered to him.

The Hound threw back his head and roared. Sansa stumbled back, away from him, but he caught her arm. "No," he growled at her, "no, little bird, he was no true knight."

The rest of the way into the city, Sandor Clegane said not a word. He led her to where the carts were waiting, told a driver to take them back to the Red Keep, and climbed in after her. They rode in silence through the King's Gate and up torchlit city streets. He opened the postern door and led her into the castle, his burned face twitching and his eyes brooding, and he was one step behind her as they climbed the tower stairs. He took her safe all the way to the corridor outside her bedchamber.

"Thank you, my lord," Sansa said meekly.

The Hound caught her by the arm and leaned close. "The things I told you tonight," he said, his voice sounding even rougher than usual. "If you ever tell Joffrey … your sister, your father … any of them …"

"I won't," Sansa whispered. "I promise."

It was not enough. "If you ever tell anyone," he finished, "I'll kill you." (AGOT, Sansa II)

We do not need to allow Martin’s skill at getting us to see someone’s humanity erase what Sansa suffers at this man’s hands. Her pity doesn’t negate his threats.

[itsyoung8]

Bully characters as Eyeshield 21 characters (part. 1/???)

SALUT, ÇA VA? It's been quite a while since my last post! Please know that, during this period, a lot of things happened for me that made me unable to post. The main reason is my studies which take up a lot of my time and which I am coming to the end of. But there are also other little things besides it that are also the reason for my inactivity on this network. Anyway, today I decided to cross two universes that I like, namely Bully and Eyeshield 21. No need to explain to you what I'm going to do because it's marked in the title but I'll just tell you that I'm going to explain my choice each time. I put "???" because I don't know how many games I'll do in total. If it happens, it will be the only game, we'll see. On that note, happy reading!

Gary Smith as Yoichi Hiruma:

Willing to do anything to get what he wants

Uses a nickname to address people

Very intelligent

Jimmy Hopkins as Riku Kaitani:

Is not afraid of anything

Ready to put his soul and body into it for victory

Says what he thinks even if he doesn't like it

Pete Kowalski as Sena Kobayakawa:

Too nice

Was manhandled before meeting the one who would become his greatest friend

Underestimated by his opponents

Derby Harrington as Natsuhiko Taki:

Full of his person

Makes fun of others but is no better

But deep down we like it that way

Damon West as Agon Kongô:

Uses violence all the time even when there is no need for it

Constantly belittles others because he thinks he's the best

Still standing despite fatigue

Russel Northrop as Rikiya Gaou:

Almost impossible to beat

Feared by many

While he has a good background

Wade Martin as Koji Kuroki:

Violent and has a lot of anger

Likes to flirt

Turmoil weaker than him

Trent Northwick as Shozo Togano:

Loves manga

Likes to flirt

Has an artistic talent

Casey Harris as Makoto Otawara:

A bit stupid

Quite friendly

Not loved enough when he deserves

Angie Ng as Manabu Yukimitsu:

A sugar

Has a very strict parent

Super smart

End of this first part! Thank you for reading to the end. A bientôt!

[sterek-ao3feed]

Weakling

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/57494983

by gun_control

Stiles Stilinski is weak. A coward. An overall weak, little bastard. Well, that's what his father thinks of him.

His father is an abusive alcoholic who has been hurting Stiles for the past ten years. Ever since Stiles' mother had died when he was seven.

When Claudia died, John started drinking and kept blaming Stiles to the point of abusing him. Even Stiles blames himself for her death.

Every night when Stiles got home from the evening pack meeting, his dad would be sitting at the dining table, drinking, waiting for Stiles.

Words: 6889, Chapters: 3/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: M/M

Characters: Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Sheriff Stilinski (Teen Wolf), Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Lydia Martin, Jackson Whittemore, Isaac Lahey, Allison Argent, Peter Hale, Ethan (Teen Wolf), Aiden (Teen Wolf), Melissa McCall, The Nemeton (Teen Wolf)

Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Ethan/Jackson Whittemore, Aiden/Lydia Martin

Additional Tags: Stiles Stilinski Loves Derek Hale, Hurt Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Stiles Stilinski is Derek Hale's Anchor, Stiles Stilinski is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Stiles Stilinski Is Bad at Feelings, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Derek Hale is Bad at Feelings, Protective Derek Hale, Derek Hale Loves Stiles Stilinski, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski is a Mess, Broken Stiles Stilinski, Peter Hale is a Little Shit, Sassy Peter Hale, Minor Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Scott McCall is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Isaac Lahey & Scott McCall Friendship, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Banshee Lydia Martin, Past Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore, Allison Argent & Lydia Martin Friendship, Lydia Martin is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Allison Argent Lives, Allison Argent is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Isaac Lahey & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Werewolf Jackson Whittemore, Mentioned Jackson Whittemore, Good Friend Jackson Whittemore, Jackson Whittemore is Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Aiden & Ethan are Part of Derek Hale's Pack, Aiden and Allison Argent Live, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Stiles Stilinski, Depression, References to Depression, Depressing, Depressed Stiles Stilinski, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, My First Work in This Fandom, Please Don't Hate Me, i don't know where i'm going with this, Sorry Not Sorry

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57494983

[thesffcorner]

Part 2: Dishonored: Characters

Our silent protagonist is Corvo Attano, and he is at once the ruin of Dunwall, caring for nothing but his own vengeance, and compassionate and kind despite the violence the city has inflicted upon him.

Immersive Sim:

Dishonored falls into a category of game called Immersive Sim, which in short means a game where the player has the ultimate choice in how to approach a situation. To paraphrase a quote from Warren Spector, the lead developer on Deus Ex, 'a key should not be the only way to open a door.'

The same thing applies to characters; though you are playing as a specific person, your decisions as a player greatly determine the personality and traits of said character, as well as their impact on the world. 

In theory, I love immersive sims. In practice, especially in a series, games run into a lot of issues when it comes time for the sequel. Dishonored is no different. 

If we take the first game in isolation, Corvo can be as violently destructive or as quietly imperceptible as you want. However, unlike the Mass Effect games, which take into account what you did in the previous games, Dishonored doesn’t; instead the game has its own true canon, which can be especially frustrating if you like to play loudly and violently. I will talk way more about this when we get to the level breakdowns, but suffice it to say, your actions have way less influence on the world than the game would like you to believe they do. 

Corvo Attano:

Ironically, though he is our protagonist, we know very little about him, especially in the first game. We know is that he is devoted to both Jessamine and Emily, that he is very close to Emily, acting as her father figure, and that he is respected by the people who know him.

This is where the issues start. Does Corvo know Emily is his daughter? Does Emily? In the first game, the answer to both seems to be no, and yet, in the sequel, this is common knowledge not just to Corvo and Emily, but the Dunwall public as well.

The game never explains why Corvo and Jessamine aren't together, whether it's a personal choice or if marriage between nobles and commoners is illegal. This lack of clarity does bring up some questions about the world, since we see that Dunwall, and by extension the Isles are quite conservative and traditional, with the Abbey having a very large influence over its citizens.

How is Jessamine an Empress? Why is her being unmarried or her having a child out of wedlock not a bigger issue? Why is Emily’s birthright not an issue for succession if her father is unknown? Does the Abbey not have anything to say about the fact that the Empress just seemingly had an immaculate birth?

This isn't just idle speculation; it brings me to a much larger and more serious problem with the first game, namely

Sexism and Misogyny:

I want to do a little experiment. I’m going to list the most important characters in the game. Ready? 

Royal Protector Corvo Attano;

Empress Jessamine Kaldwin; 

Princess Emily Kaldwin;

The Assassin Daud; 

Royal Spymaster/Lord Regent Hiram Burrows; 

High Overseer Campbell; 

Lords Custis, Morgan and Treavor Pendleton; 

Admiral John Havelock; 

Overseer Teague Martin; 

Granny Rags aka Vera Morley; 

Slackjaw, leader of the Bottlestreet Gang; 

Ladies Lydia, Waverly and Esma Boyle; 

and Inventors Anton Sokolov and Piero Joplin.

Do you notice something about this list?

Let’s do it another way. 

These are all the female characters in the game:

Jessamine Kaldwin, 

Emily Kaldwin, 

Granny Rags; 

The 3 Boyle sisters;

 Governess Calista Curnow, 

& Cecilia. 

6. There are 6 female characters in the whole game. 

I am not counting named NPCs like Madame Prudence, Lydia, Alfa, Elsa or Miss White, the same way I'm not counting Alec, Griff, or Lord Ramsey for the men. And I am not counting the 3 Boyle sisters as separate characters when they serve the exact same function and have the exact same character model. 

Actually, I think the Boyles deserve their own section because–

Lady Boyle:

After escaping prison, Corvo is tasked with eliminating 5 people who have orchestrated Jessamine’s murder. Those 5 people are: the Lord Regent, the High Overseer, Lords Custis and Morgan and Lady Boyle.

Lady Boyle is the ONLY female assassination target. She is also the only one who had no involvement with the plot to kill Jessamine.

One of the Boyle sisters is the Lord Regent’s lover, and she is financing his grab at power, specifically paying off the City Watch. When you read her journals, you quickly realize that she's in way over her head, has no way out of the relationship without jeopardizing her life and her family’s reputation, and she even talks fondly about Jessamine - she misses her, she likes her, and hates how bad things have gotten without her. 

We need to take her out because we need to take out Burrow's financial backing, but the justification for killing her is given by Lord Treavor Pendleton who is a) a super unreliable character, who b) has a very incel-adjacent relationship with all the Boyle women, and c) whose proof that Boyle ‘helped’ Burrows kill Jessamine is just ‘trust me bro’.

The only argument you could make is that in a transitive way, Boyle’s money paid for Daud, but that’s such an incredible reach that I sprained my neck just typing it. 

What’s worse, is that the alternative to killing her is so much worse than committing murder, that I don't even think the developers realized what they'd written.

Back to the Sexism:

You thought we were done?

Calista Curnow, along with Cecilia is one of the two female characters who like Lydia serve mostly to flirt with Corvo. What makes Calista different is that she's a) Emilly's governess and b) a canon 'love interest' for Corvo. Heavy quotations around "love interest", because it's part of the WORST subplot of the entire game.

Calista exists so that Inventor Pierro Jopin can stalk and leer at her. And when I say stalk, I mean that literary, because you catch him watching her while BATHING.

You, as Corvo, can tell him off, only for the game to give you the option to ALSO spy on Calista. You can enter the bathroom and 'apologize', and even proposition her; she rejects you, but the game lets you enter the bathtub even AFTER she does. The game treats this as a joke; if you do it you get a game over screen, but there is nothing funny about making your protagonist someone who is willing to sexually assault someone. You can even poses Calista and make her get out of the bathtub to ogle her naked character model. She not treated like a character; she's treated like an object for the male players to jerk off to.

Ceclia has a different subplot that ends up being crucial in helping Corvo in the latter half of the game, and she is the only character to have an actual arc throughout the game. She out as a cowardly, meek woman, who is afraid of Corvo and afraid of standing up for herself, but inspired by his bravery, she ends up escaping certain death and leaving Dunwall. 

Jessamine Kaldwin, is immediately killed, and spends the rest of the game as a LITERAL object, her physical heart and metaphysical spirit trapped in the mechanical heart the Outsider gives to Corvo. He only role is to be Corvo's literal spirit guide.

We never see what she was like as Empress, we learn very little about her opinion of Dunwall, her allies, or even of Corvo; all we know is that she loves Emily and wanted to cure the plague. Despite having many voice lines as the heart, most of them are about other people, and almost never about her.

Emilly is, thankfully, spared any sexualization, being 10 years old. She is, however, much like her mother, treated like an object more than a character. The game claims she imitates Corvo and watches everything he does with great interest, but in reality, outside of 2 scenes where Corvo plays hide and seek with her, she exists to get kidnapped and rescued.

There is only one female character that isn’t sexualized, isn’t in love or obsessed with Corvo, isn’t in constant need of rescuing, and whose motivations have nothing to do with Corvo:

Granny Rags:

I love Granny Rags. If Arkane ever magically gets the chance to make a Dishonored 3, I want it to be all about her. I want 10 more books about Granny Rags instead of whatever the Corroded Man is about.  

We meet her as a blind, crotchety old woman, but in her youth, she was so powerful and beautiful, that princes fought over her favour. She rejected them all, devoting herself to studying the occult and earning an Outsider mark. Because she can’t see Corvo, it’s unclear if she knows who he is, or thinks he's her late husband, but she ropes him into her schemes.

In addition to her side quests being the longest and most involved they are also the most morally fucked up. She’s never a direct antagonist, in fact for most of the game she's on your side, helping with runes and alternative routes. Even when she ends up fighting Corvo, it’s only because he gets between her and her soup.

So, to recap, out of the 6 female characters, only 2 aren't sexualized, a child and an old woman, and only the old woman gets to be an actual character with motivations and goals unrelated to Corvo.

Yes, We Are Still on the Sexism

I can already see the comments. 

Monika! This game is supposed to be brutal! And Dunwall is supposed to be sexist! The Abbey preaches that women should stay away from science and stick to the kitchen! That’s why it makes total sense that the only women in the game are maids or sex workers!

Well newsflash! Dunwall DOESN’T exist! The devs actively chose to build their setting in a way so as to exclude any female characters save for sex workers and maids. The place where you will see the most female NPCs in the entire game is a literal brothel. So no, they were not making a commentary on Dunwall's sexist society.

Even if they were, they did a piss poor job of conveying it, because the game never makes any commentary, outside of depicting misogynist actions.

The world the developers built doesn't even make sense under their own sexist logic! Once again, I have to ask: how is Jessamine an Empress? How is she unmarried? Why would a society where women can't do anything apart from raise children, cook and clean have a succession line of the eldest child instead of the eldest son? How come the Abbey never questioned Jessamine's decision to not marry or her daughter born out of wedlock? And if we are to believe that Jessamine is a good ruler, why wouldn’t she push back on the Abbey’s teachings?

Look, I love this game, I do. But part of loving something is being willing to acknowledge its flaws. I am glad that people did it, because guess what? The games improved! Even in this game's very own DLC the things I'm complaining about here start to change, and the games are better for it. But that would’ve never happened had people not acknowledged the issues in the first place.

Part 3: Dishonored: Gameplay

Part 1: Dishonored

Main Menu

[kaieraai]

Day 3: Martin Luther King Jr.

Today is dedicated to Martin Luther King Jr. Obviously he is well known, and as many well-known leaders or people of great wisdom, his mission is often misconstrued by those who have a moral agenda to push.

Each of these entries are primarily an exercise in education, in recognition, and as a promise I am making to my black and brown friends and community members - That even if this country denies the importance of your history, I do not, and I know many Americans who feel the same. At the same time, it would be an oversight of mine if I didn't note the way our government, or whatever is left of it, has treated minorities with disregard, and tried to change a narrative of oppression to one of… well, nothing, I guess. Erasure. For a group of people who fly flags that say "Fuck your feelings" they do sure seem to be hurt by the idea that people of color disagree with the way they have historically been treated by this country.

Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated for organizing mass non-violent resistance to the Jim Crow Laws, those that enforced segregation. Segregation was sometimes called "Separate But Equal" by the people who supported such laws, but just looking at the difference in wealth between white and black citizens could tell you how poorly the 'equal' part was being enforced. Our country denied people of color access to institutions that they themselves had no ability to erect - With lower wages than white people, rules about where they could and could not go, poorer communities and schools, and heavier policing of said communities, the resources to build a thriving black society is an oxymoron, creating an illusion of freedom while still firmly ensuring that a class system could be enforced. These are forms of systemic oppression that remain today, even if true segregation has been made unlawful. It's important to remember that laws are made by men, they are not a divine command. Laws do not hold or maintain morality, and obedience is not the same thing as being good. It is the duty of those with a strong moral compass to challenge oppressive laws.

Martin Luther King Jr. was an example of someone who inspired an entire people, but it's important to consider that although the peaceful protests were met with push back, the non-violent nature of the acts being used as protest showcased the vitriol and racism behind those laws. There wasn't a non-violent way to get rid of the protesters either, and that helped develop sympathy for their mission. It truly helped to change the view of people of color and their rights as contributing members of society, and at the end, although rights were won and progress was made, it was the backlash to King's death that finalized the opinions of many Americans - That people of color deserved more. They are human beings.

When I think about protests since, I see the chaos created to muddy the pleas of a people who are not yet free, who are not treated equally, and who deserve better. There is a severe lack of empathy, of care for the lives of those murdered by police. Children have been gunned down in the street while police face little to no charges, but somehow the protestors are the problem?

Today, I choose to honor the life of Martin Luther King Jr. by standing with those who stand up. By choosing peace, but not accepting or tolerating violence or fear instilled in me or others by a militant, violent, and hateful ruling class. They are few and we are many, and we don't need to sink to their level to make our point known. We just need to stand together.

[elisysd]

14. It could be so sweet, if only I were naive

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Envy the Leaves - Madison Beer

Ethan was brooding and in a foul mood as he was about to board his plane for Singapore. He didn’t know why or more like he knew but didn’t want to admit it. Julia was giving him the silent treatment ever since that fateful karting day and he didn’t understand what he could have done wrong to deserve it. She had not replied when he had sent her that picture, she had opened it and seen it but left him without a reply. Not that he wanted one, but still, a thank you was not too much too ask. And it came at the worst moment, right when they were supposed to soft-launch their relationship. He had to resist the urge to go to her place to see her, more than once, but refrained himself when he thought about what he would tell her.

So he was in a bad mood, something that Ludwig quickly noticed when Ethan arrived in the airport, dragging his suitcase behind him, with more violence than necessary.

“Did you eat a mean cookie to be this violent with this poor suitcase that didn’t ask for it?”

“I’m fine.”

“Clearly. Should we buy another suitcase just in case this one doesn’t survive the flight?”

“No use. I’m fine.”

“Sure, you are.”

“I said, I’m fine. Don’t insist!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Never said you were not.”

“Julia is ignoring me.”

“Oh, so here we are. You miss your little girlfriend, isn’t it cute? Never though I would see this day, but there is a first time to everything.”

“She is not my girlfriend!” said Ethan making the whole queue waiting at the security looking at them.

“Sure, fake girlfriend if you want to get into technicalities. So what happened?” he asked, a half-smile on his face.

“That’s the thing, I don’t know. We were fine, I thought we were on the right path to become good friends and then she decided to distance herself without any explanations. I hate her sometimes.”

“What did you do?”

“Why would it be my fault?”

“Because you are you. You are a problem in itself Ethan.”

“Jeez, thank you for the vote of confidence, mate, I appreciate it.”

They were briefly separated as they were getting through the security controls and met a few minutes after at the gate. Kyle was already there, clearly waiting for them, a book in his hands. He was wearing glasses, something new that took aback both Ludwig and Ethan.

“Since when are you wearing glasses?” asked his teammate.

“I had an appointment with the doctor, my sight is not so good since a few weeks so now I have to wear them to see if it makes everything a little better.”

“Okay, grandpa.”

“Mind you, Romy find me really sexy when I wear them. She loves them.”

“Yeah, no, too much information that I don’t want to know.”

Ethan abandoned them for a while, he didn’t want to hear all about how Kyle and Romy were more or less an item. Or about how Kyle was happy. Or questions about Julia. He opened his social media and as if fate had decided to play with him, the first thing he saw was a story from Martin where Julia was appearing in the background, smiling to the cameras. A wave of anger washed over him. He knew she was always travelling with her dad, so it shouldn’t have surprised him to see her there. But for a reason that he couldn’t pinpoint, Martin being in the picture, quite literally, bothered him. He put his phone back in his pocket with rage and went back to his friends, plopping down beside Kyle with a sigh.

“No news of the girlfriend?” Ludwig teased him.

“What do you guys know about Martin?” asked Ethan, ignoring his friend.

“Well… not much. I mean, not more than what you know.”

“He is a pretty laid back dude, really nice. But he is pretty discreet. Doesn’t talk much. “ replied Kyle.

“Does he have a girlfriend?”

“Oh… I see now. You are jealous. You are scared of him going to your Julia.” said Ludwig.

“She is not my Julia, first of all. And second of all, I’m not scared. Why would I be? He is not that good looking and not that good of a driver.”

“Well the girls comments under his Instagram posts say a whole other story….”

“Shut up, for fuck’s sake, Lud.”

Ludwig looked at Kyle in hope to find an ally but was welcomed by a shrug. They were used to Ethan’s mood swings by now. The plane ride was uncomfortable as hell, between Ethan’s groans whenever Ludwig was mentioning Julia and Kyle trying his best to keep his best friends in check. To make it even better they even went through turbulence one hour before landing in Singapore and it’s therefore completely drained that they finally arrived. Ethan couldn’t wait for a shower and to sleep. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts. He loved his friends to death but sometimes they were too much. Especially Ludwig.

So as soon as he retrieved his suitcase, he took the first taxi that was waiting for someone, barely acknowledging Kyle and Ludwig and left. The ride to the hotel was made in complete silence and for the first time he found it appeasing and enjoyable. Singapore was his least favorite track of the season. Another city one, with barely enough opportunities to try something. It would again be all about track positions and it was boring to him. Finally, he arrived at the hotel and as he was to step inside an all too familiar silhouette was waiting at the front desk . Someone that was trying to avoid him for the past few days.

“Julia? Hey… I didn’t know you already arrived.”

“Yeah… about that… I’m not really staying. Skoda messed up the booking and I don’t have a room, so I’m just waiting for Romy. I’ll stay with her.”

“You sure? You could stay with me, you know. That would be more logical than you staying with her. We are supposed to be a couple, it wouldn’t shock anyone.”

“I don’t want to stay with you.” she said hastily and Ethan couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt.

“But you prefer to stay with Romy?”

“Of course, she is my best friend!”

“Joolsie, we are supposed to soft launch our relationship, starting this race weekend. How do you plan for us to do it if you avoid me?” he asked, clearly annoyed and angry.

“I’m not avoiding you.” she replied, crossing her arms against her chest, in a defensive posture.

“You didn’t answer my text. You know the picture I sent you.”

“Oh Gosh… I have a life Ethan! And I didn’t know you were expecting an answer!”

People were starting to look at them and seeing the unsolicited attention, Ethan grabbed her arm as he dragged her with him in a corner, away from prying eyes and ears.

“What is wrong with you?” she angrily whispered.

“I could say the same about you! Martin? Really? After everything we talked about? What are you playing at?”

“I’m allowed to have friends!”

“We’ve already had this conversation! He doesn’t want to be your friend!”

“That’s not what he said!”

“Oh please, you are not naive.” he sighed.

“And so what? What if indeed he wants to be more than my friend?”

“Yeah well, he will have to back off,  you have a boyfriend.”

“A fake one.”

“He doesn’t know that.” she replied, clearly trying to rile him up.

“What are you trying to say?”

“What if I wanted to be more than his friend? Did you think about that?”

He opened his mouth to reply but no sound came out of it. He didn’t understand why but the perspective of Julia kissing Martin and being all lovey dovey with him was making him want to punch a wall. Or to throw Martin in a wall, there could be opportunities during the weekend, still he didn’t like this feeling that was viciously snaking around him.

“Well he will have to wait in line, for now, you are with me.”

“Wait in line? Do you hear yourself?” she said.

“We have a deal Julia!”

“I’m not a freaking business transaction! Or your property! You have no rights on me.”

“Yeah, that much we established. You are annoying, you know that?”

“You are insufferable!”

“I wouldn’t be if you weren’t so… so…”  words were failing him.

“So what? Come on, say it!”

“So you!”

Julia was about to reply when her phone buzzed announcing the arrival of a new text. She quickly checked it and felt relief when she saw that it was from Romy, saying she was there. Without another word and giving him one final look where Ethan believed he saw a hint of disappointment in it, she left. Romy noticed straight away the change in her best friend’s behaviour. It was the way she carried herself, he posture stiff and her eyes locked to the ground.

“Trouble in paradise?” Romy asked as Julia was taking place on the passenger seat of the Audi.

“Yeah, we can say that.”

“Do you wanna talk about it? Because I thought you were staying with Ethan, to be honest. I wasn’t expecting your call. Or more like I wasn’t expecting you to ask to stay with me.”

“It’s just… complicated, you know. Team policies and he needs his good night of sleep, I don’t want to bother.”

“Yeah because for sure if you’re here, sleep will be the last of his priorities!” said Romy with a wink making Julia blush.

“Romy!”

“What? Come on you can tell me. How is he?”

“Do I ask how is Kyle with you?” argued Julia.

“No, but you could ask me. I would tell you.”

“But I don’t want to know!”

“You are boring, Ju.”

Julia tried her best to hide her embarrassment. She never really thought about Ethan that way. She didn’t want to, it would turn into a rabbit hole she didn’t want to dig herself in. This one time seeing Ethan shirtless in the gym was enough to give her thoughts she didn’t want to have. Intrusive ones, peeking through the night when she was sleeping soundly. The warmth of his arms brushing against hers, and the shiver she got from it were not something she liked to think about, it was always giving her a warm feeling in her lower belly. She must had made a stupid face as Romy asked her what she was thinking about.

“You are all red.”

“I’m not! it’s just that it’s hot outside and I need a cold shower.”

“Sure.”

Romy showed her room to Julia before telling her that she had commitments to honour, leaving the brunette on her own. Julia tried to occupy her mind to avoid thinking about Ethan , but she understood that staying inside would do no good, she stopped sulking and left the room, her drawing notebook with her. In the lobby she found probably the last person she was expecting to see. Martin was laughing with Elijah as a blond woman with a Ferrari shirt was talking to them. probably someone from the staff, thought Julia who kept walking towards the exit. As she was about to step outside, she heard footsteps coming in her direction as if the person was running and she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Julia? What are you doing here? Are you here to see your dad, he has a meeting right now but you can wait with us. We just finished to shoot a challenge for Ferrari’s social media.”

“Uh… no, not really. Truth be told, I’m staying with Romy. Skoda forgot to book me a room so…” she shrugged.

“Oh shit. Ethan didn’t tell you that you could stay with him?”

“Yes, he did. It’s just… me whose the problem, I guess. It’s complicated.”

“Yeah I bet it is. You must have signed tons of NDA when they learned about your relationship. You know to avoid manufacturing resources to leak.”

“That's the thing, they don’t know yet. So, we are laying low.”

“Oh? So you guys are not official, then.”

“We are. It’s not because we are not public with it, yet, that it’s not serious.” she replied, defensively.

“Yeah sure, sorry, if I overstepped.”

“It’s fine.”

“You were about to head downtown?”

“Yeah, I juts need to forget some stuff. I have a lot in mind.”

“I wanted to visit, do you mind if I join you?”

She wanted to say yes, that she minded. It was not a good idea, especially when Singapore was filled with journalists. It would just need one picture for things to blew up out of proportion. She knew that but he was good company, he made her laugh and forget everything. She felt good with him, calm, peaceful. It was welcomed when with Ethan she felt like drowning in an ocean where very time she was trying to stay a float another wave was throwing her under. But still, she ended up accepting and Martin made a move to tell her that he was letting her take the lead.

They walked around Singapore, stopping to some places to take pictures. It felt easy, conversation was flowing, she didn’t have to pretend and the Ethan topic was avoided by tacit agreement and Julia didn’t really see the time flying. They ended up sitting somewhere not so crowded after getting take away.

“I hope Ethan won’t get too mad knowing that we spent the afternoon together.”

And there it was, the elephant in the room. The way too big elephant in the way to small room.

“Ethan is complicated. And i’m complicated too. And we are stubborn and hot-headed, it doesn’t help sometimes.”

“But do you love him?”

That was the question she hoped no one would ask her because she didn’t want to answer. She wasn’t in love with Ethan but was she attracted? She wasn’t blind and she was just a human being, after all. She appreciated him. His presence, his sense of humour, how he was there for her when Louis ran away and how he tried to protect her. He had been a true friend. And she couldn’t help but wonder if there were no lingering feelings. Being there for her, sending her this picture of her and her brother, trying to keep her with him and she almost thought he was about to kiss her. Did she want to be kissed?

“Julia?” repeated Martin.

“Yeah? Sorry, I zoned out for a moment.”

“I saw that. You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s not any of my business, after all.”

“No, no it’s just… we have history. Not the best if I may add. We’ve known each other since we were kids and we were not the best of friends back then…” she explained in a laugh. “But years went by and we kind of lost touch, he was often away and i was caught up in my studies. We met again this year and… here we are.”

“You don’t seem happy, though.”

“In every relationships you have ups and downs. Today is a down. Tomorrow will be a up. It’s difficult to adapt and to go from enemies to lovers. Sometimes, most of the time, we bicker like when we were kids. But he has seen parts of me that not a lot of people know about. He had seen me at my worst and I did too.”

“It doesn’t answer my question, though. About love.”

“Is it bad if I say that I don’t know? Does it make me a bad person?”

“Not necessarily. You can grow to love someone. As long as you are happy. Which leads me to my second question: are you happy?”

“I guess I am.”

“But you’re not sure.”

“And what about you, are you happy?”

“No. Not entirely. But I will be, someday.”

She smiles softly and looked at her phone. Texts from Romy were there asking her if she wanted room service or if she would rather eat outside, her dad was checking up on her as well but she had nothing from Ethan. She wasn’t expecting anything, not after their fight but she would have loved a reminder of him, being there alone with Martin, she couldn't help but feel like she was cheating on him, which was crazy. She didn’t. There was nothing else than a deal between her and Ethan. Nothing else. She must have looked to her screen for a little too long as Martin started to stand up and extending his hands to her. She pretended not seeing it and they both walked back to the hotel. In the lobby, they said their goodbyes before heading their separate ways.

When she opened the hotel room door she was welcomed by a blonde tornado throwing her arms around her.

“I’m so happy to have you here, despite the circumstances! It’s been so long since we had a sleepover. So tell me, what did you do today?”

“I went out, I visit the town with Martin and…”

“Martin? Why?” Romy cut her, giving her a suspicious look.

“Because he asked if he could come…”

“And you said yes?”

“Is it bad?”

“Of course it’s bad! You have a boyfriend!”

“And Martin is my friend…”

“Martin doesn’t want to be your friend he wants to take Ethan’s place. Julia! You are not dumb!”

“Martin knows about Ethan. And he respects it.”

“Yeah, no. If he respected it he would back off. But he doesn’t.”

“He didn’t make a move on me, Romy. It’s fine!”

“And I should give him a medal? That’s basic respect, I sure hope he didn’t try anything. But it doesn’t mean that he doesn���t want to. Julia, you are entertaining his feelings. That’s not fair. Not to him or to Ethan that then again is your boyfriend, your lover, the guy you are sleeping with! Fuck! Stop being blind and oblivious.”

“Martin is nice….” Julia tried to defend herself. She knew it was wrong, whatever was going on between martin and her. But hearing her friend saying it out loud was making it worse than what she had imagined.

“Being naive doesn’t have a good look on yourself. What is wrong with you?”

Julia sat on the bed and look at her feet as she was playing with her fingers.

“It’s… can I be honest with you? And most importantly can you promise to not judge me or say anything? It has to stay between us.”

“Julia… you are scaring me.”

“Ethan and I, we are not really dating. I’m saving his ass because of what happened, the scandal, you know. And… he helps me out to prove to my dad that I’m good at my job. Basically.”

Romy didn’t say anything, only dropping next to her friend and taking her in her arms.

“A lot of things make sense, now… It doesn’t excuse your behaviour with Martin, though. It’s still a dumb idea, I stand by it. But Ethan… Julia, are you sure you guys are only faking things? Because I’ve seen how he looked at you during his birthday party and I heard how you talked about him… It didn’t seem fake to me. You got me and you are my best friends. Surely it doesn’t mean nothing.”

“I don’t know… Maybe Ethan is just good at pretending.”

“Maybe.”

“And now I’m stuck. Because I truly like Martin’s company. I feel good with him, safe. Ethan is always up to something, I never know what to expect and it’s terrifying.”

“Martin is your comfort zone and Ethan is not.” simply said Romy. “You know what they say with the comfort zone, kitten.”

Julia shrugged.

“I’m leaving you alone with your thoughts. For what is worth, I think you should talk to Ethan, it would help you sort your thoughts out. I won’t be mad if when i come back you are not there. And if it helps you in any way, I’m team Ethan.”

After her conversation with Romy, Julia couldn’t help but feel guilty. Even if nothing happened with Martin, and she intended to keep it that way, she was feeling bad and remorseful towards Ethan. He didn’t deserve any of what she had put him through. She opened her contacts and scrolled down until she found his name, with a red heart next to it, something silly she had added after establishing their fake relationship. She wasn’t expecting him to answer but he did after a short while.

“What do you want?”

“I want to say sorry.”

“About what? Our fight, you leaving with Romy or your little date with Ferrari’s boy?”

“All of that. It wasn’t fair to you and our relationship. I should have agreed to stay with you.”

“Why didn’t you?”

She bit her lips and pulled her knees up against her chest.

“I don’t want to make things weird between us,  if we sleep in the same bed.”

“Joolsie, you know me. I wouldn’t have given you the bed. The sofa is quite nice and comfy.”

“Thanks for your consideration!” she said, slightly offended.

“I’m joking. I would have taken the sofa and given you the bed.”

She felt embarrassed. She could hear his breathing from the other side of the line. The only thing she wanted was to take a taxi and go back to the hotel to run into his arms. But she was so scared of what it would mean and how it would change everything that she wasn’t sure it was a risk she was willing to take.

“Romy left me alone. That’s not what I imagined when she said that we would have a sleepover.”

“I’m alone too.” he whispered.

“Maybe we can be alone together? If you want?”

“I don’t want to be alone together with anyone else, Julia.”

“Good. Me too.”

The line went silent, both of them not knowing what to say. Julia closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Does your offer about me staying with you still stands?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“I’m waiting, then.”

It didn’t even take half an hour for her to arrive to the hotel. She walked fast to the elevator and it’s almost out of breath that she arrived in front of his door. She barely had the time to know that the door opened revealing Ethan in a very laid back outfit.

“Hey…” she said.

“Joolsie…”

“I’m sorry. I overreacted and I’m stupid. And you have every reasons to be mad.”

“I’m mad. Because we are friends and you don’t trust me and you act like I’m disgusting to you.”

“Are we? Friends, I mean.”

“You are annoying and you’ve been acted like a bitch with me. But you are my friend. Now come inside.”

She felt uncomfortable all of a sudden, she didn’t know where to put her suitcase or where to stand.

“So where should I sleep?” she asked.

“The bed is big enough for us to fit without touching each other but if you don’t want to, I can give you the bed. Bear in mind that I would love to sleep in it on Friday and Saturday. I need to feel rested for the race.”

“I guess we can share the bed.”

“Perfect. I was scared you were going to fight me on something.”

Julia didn’t answer taking her pyjamas out of the suitcase as well as her toiletry bag and locked herself in the bathroom. She came back a moment later to see Ethan adding a few pillow in the middle of the bed.

“I called the reception to know if we could have some more. I’m making our border so we don’t end up on the other person’s side.”

“That’s thoughtful of you.”

Ethan shrugged as if it was not a big deal and got inside the bed. Julia joined him soon after as he switch of the light and it didn’t take long before she fell asleep.

Author's note: I know I said I wouldn't upload before Saturday but... I couldn't wait to post lmao.

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