#Mark Sloan lives

[studywgabi]

Study Motivation Movies and T.V. Shows

Legally Blonde

Hidden Figures

The Harry Potter Series

Good Will Hunting

Dead Poets Society

Felicity

The Sex Lives of College Girls

Gilmore Girls

Gossip Girl

Grey's Anatomy

[userlaylivia]

i chose the deaths that affected me the most and I even forgot some so I'll do a part 2 eventually!! I didn't include allison because she won my last poll I think plus the movie brought her back so lol

[lopeirce]

endless list of incredible scenes → Mark Sloan, Grey’s Anatomy (Remember The Time)

[chicleeblair]

Uncomfortably Numb [5/55]||FFN

Rating: NC-17/Explicit

Pairings: Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Lexie Grey/Mark Sloan

Meredith isn't the only Grey to make it home alive after the plane crash. How does Lexie's return affect everyone else's recovery? With Mark gone and returning to the O.R. as a surgeon an unlikelihood, can Lexie really say she's survived? AO3||FFN

I'll be posting an unrelated one-shot next Friday, so this is a great time to catch up!

[aesthetic-solar-space]

Should I put myself back through the pain that is Greys Anatomy (especially my love for Lexie Grey)?

[h3llofaday]

I talk about greys anatomy a lot but you guys don’t understand how far this obsession goes when Derek Shepard died I cried for like 2 weeks straight you would have thought my actual father died

[krisb5431]

🌱✨ "A New Dawn Amid the Ashes" ✨🌱

Hello, my name is Jaber, a 13-year-old from Gaza. My family and I once lived in peace, surrounded by laughter and dreams. But in an instant, everything changed 💔. Our home, the school I loved, and even some of the dearest members of my family were taken from us by war.

Now, all I have left is my mother, Maysaa, who suffers from a heart condition, and my siblings, who are my only remaining comfort. Every day, we struggle to rebuild what we’ve lost, searching for even a glimpse of hope amid the ruins 🕯️🌄.

I am sharing my story because I believe in the kindness of others. With your support, we could take the first steps toward a new beginning 🕊️. Any help, however small, could be the light that guides us out of this darkness. Thank you from the depths of my heart for any compassion you can offer ❤️🙏.

Sharing to spread the word 💓💓

[thebowerypresents]

S.G. Goodman Is Thankful in Williamsburg

S.G. Goodman – Music Hall of Williamsburg – November 3, 2023

“I’m S.G. Goodman, thank you so much for being here!” I think she must have said that after every single song she played at Music Hall of Williamsburg on Friday night, a mix of dry wit and genuine appreciation. The show was a delightfully incongruous confluence of her off-key banter, delicate poetic lyricism, and cosmic vibrations of guitar and pedal steel. Things began with those guitars in an ambient swell, dramatically building to feedback that dissolved into the opening song, “The Way I Talk,” off Goodman’s debut album, Old Time Feeling. 

As the set progressed, her drawling voice took center stage. The pairing of “If You Were Someone I Loved” and “You Were Someone I Loved” crackled with slide guitar until melting into Goodman howling into the room, the audience silent in admiration. The title track on last year’s Teeth Marks was another highlight, emotional lyrics meeting deft instrumentation. In between songs, she waxed philosophic at length on naming her tour after “Patron Saint of Dollar Stores” and other topics.

Her admiration for outlaw country shone through on the cover of Waylon Jennings’ “Waymore’s Blues,” which included a friendly “competition” with back-and-forth solos from pedal steel player Luke Schneider and guitarist Mark Sloan. After an appropriately solo take on “Solitaire,” Goodman closed the set with the love song “Space and Time,” a cushion of bass and drums and a glittering of guitars to finish things. The show felt complete, but no one in the room was complaining when they all returned for an encore, the rollicking “Work Until I Die,” Goodman in full West Kentucky growl until leaving her band onstage in an extended rock-out, her final “Thank you so much for being here.” —A. Stein | @Neddyo

Photos courtesy of Toby Tenenbaum | @TobyTenenbaum

[d4yl1ghts]

stuck

mark sloan x shy, fem!reader

summary: you and mark get to know each other when you get stuck in an elevator

A/N- i feel like he would love star wars (not as much as bailey tho)? but this gives me such katniss and peeta vibes

-

You read the files that Doctor Shepherd had given you to take a look through because he thought his new patient may have some sort of problem with their heart and cardiology was your specialty. You were currently in the elevator, heading up to find an empty room to study your new case when the elevator suddenly came to a halt. Confusedly you glanced around and noticed Mark Sloan, the world’s number one man-whore was the only other person there.

He glanced up from his papers and made eye contact with you. “What happened?”, he questioned with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. This was the first time you’d heard him so nervous. “I think the elevator just broke.”, you sighed as the realisation just set in once you said it out loud. He huffed to himself. “Hopefully they’ll be able to fix it soon, I have a surgery in an hour.”, he stated, checking the time on his watch.

“Might as well get comfortable.”, he added as he fixed himself on the floor and placed his files beside him. You copied his actions and sat opposite him. “So, what case have you got there?”, he asked you, striking conversation. “Oh, just a new case Derek wanted me to check up on. What about you?”, you awkwardly asked as your cheeks blazed. “Just some boring charts of burn victims, I have to reconstruct their faces, arms and legs.”, he said. “Oh, lovely.”, you replied sarcastically.

You stared at the wall of the lift and zoned out into your own thoughts. It must have been around five minutes of silence before Mark started speaking again: “If we’re gonna be here for a while then we may as well get to know each other.”, he said, looking into your eyes. It wasn’t a bad idea, there was nothing else you could really do.

“Tell me three random facts about yourself. I’ll go first: I used to live in New York (I’m sure you’ve heard about that), my middle name is Everett and I love the Star Wars movies.”

“Uhm… this is actually hard to think about, hold on.”, you said, embarrassed. He chuckled slightly. “Okay, I hate posh restaurants, I also love the Star Wars movies and I have a pet cat named Jack.”

“Cool, why do you hate posh restaurants though?”, he questioned as he turned to you with amusement in his eyes. “They’re just so intimidating and I just generally don’t like the vibe of the, do you know what I mean? Also, they’re so overpriced like you could find some cosy place that sells nicer food for way cheaper.”, you said passionately. You did not like posh restaurants at all. “I get what you’re coming from to be honest. I always preferred a cute and little cafe opposed to a fancy restaurant.”, he reasoned.

“If I ever ask you out on a date, I guess I’ll know where to take you.”, he flirted which left your cheeks on fire, well that’s what it felt like anyway. “I’m not surprised everyone calls you a man-whore.”, you said as you ignored what he previously said. “That’s not my proudest nickname.”, he responded. “I want to change my nickname, I don’t want to be known as that anymore. I don’t want loads of hook-ups and flings, I want a real relationship.”

He gazed at you. “I swear we’re having a whole confession session here. Oh my God, it rhymed.”, he laughed to himself. You laughed along with him, he was pretty funny and cute. If you looked past his reputation, he was a nice guy.

After another fifteen minutes of talking and joking, firefighters had arrived and gotten the two of you out of the elevator. “Hey, Y/N, do you wanna hang out one day? Not in an elevator, of course.”, he asked you, almost anxiously as he awaited a response. “Yeah, I’d love to.”

“I promise I won’t take you to a posh restaurant.”, he added as he walked away and charmingly smirked at you. You laughed to yourself and waved him off. “We can work out a date.”

[shelbgrey]

Hey Pookie so there is this very sexy man named Mark Sloan and I was wondering if you could write some beautiful Fluffy/Smutty dating Headcanons for him PLZ

Dating Mark Sloan headcanons

Paring: Mark Sloan x Shepherd!Reader

Summary: headcanons about Mark Sloan dating Derek's little sister -SMUT warning!

💚MasterList ML2 💚Dating Mood board

You guys started fake dating... That's how it all started. He wanted to make Addison Jelouse and you just want to get back at her for hurting your brother Derek.

You had 10 rules to this plan:

NO Sex - you

Never break rule #1 - you

Be on Mark's services/work in plastics if needed -Mark

Go on dates at least twice a month to make the act look real - Mark

No kissing or touching - if you have to just kiss forehead/cheek and don't touch anything below the waist - you

No sex with nurses, Mark - it'll blow the cover - you

Be nice to my friends(I don't care if you hate interns) - you

Trust each other - mark

Don't play favorites in the hospital - includes not helping with most surgeries/patients - you

Don't fall in love with each other - you

Derek hates it at first, even during the time you guys were faking it all. “stay away from my sister” Derek snapped at mark.

“too late... We're already together”

Derek and Mark got into a fight... That ended with black eyes, bruises, and Mark needing stitches on his face.

“I'm sorry this happened” you mumbled softly as you stitched his jaw for him. He stared at you with those blue eyes you love so much. “don't worry about it”

“maybe we should stop this whole thing” you suggested, Mark shook his head. “no, we got this. Rule #8, remember?” but really he was already falling so hard for you and he wanted to keep you close as long as possible.

Spoil alert you guys broke rule #10 and fell hard for each other. Well he fell first, but you fell harder. “I want this for real... No more fake shit, I love you”

After that ordeal you figured you owed Derek an explanation. Derek never found out about the fake dating, but you need to tell him where your feeling stand. “you love him, don't you?” Derek asks.

“I do... And I trust him” you say.

“if he hurts you... Cheats on you, I'll kill him” simply Derek said and you guys moved on with your lives.

Once you guys start dating for real he faithful and his heart now belongs to you.

Even Derek gave him credit for that. During the few months of you guys actually dating, deek would keep an eye on him. A hot nurse would walk by and Mark wouldn't even look at her.

You see a different side to Mark. He stops looking at any other woman. He just looks at you.

His sweeter, gentler side is only reserved for you.

Callie is your biggest supporter. Always hyping your relationship up. Mark might go to her for relationship advice. Callie might even be a referee during arguments.

Callie is definitely your best friend. You, Mark, and her the hospital's main trio.

Double dates with Callie and Arizona or Derek and Meredith.

He needs physical contact all the time. Rather it be cuddling on bed or on the couch or holding hands in the hospital.

He's a big cuddler. Sometimes he'll just wrap his arms around you and pull you to his chest without saying anything.

He's so flirty with you. No matter how many years you've been together, he still thinks you're the sexiest, most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Like I said, he flirts with you so much. Some times he'll come up behind you while your working and whispere suggestive comment in your ear or grab your ass.

“stop it! We're at work” you quietly scolded him after his gabered your ass. “I can't help it... You have a nice ass”

You steal his leather jacket all the time, even though it looks big on you he thinks it's hot as hell on you. Now and days the only time he sees that jacket is if your wearing it.

Dirty jokes all the time. If you hear something remotely dirty you'll whisper, “that's what she said”

If he's had a hard day, he either needs one of two things. A rough fuck or he needs to curl up beside you and cuddle.

The way he kisses you makes your heart race. He holds your face in his hands and you honestly feel like you and him are the only things that matter in the world.

But he is a rough kisser, but mostly he's a passionate kisser. He pours all his love and emotions into it, he makes sure your the only one on this earth he wants to love.

He's soft with you when it comes to holding you and give affection. He's so gentle and delicate and you can tell through the way he brushes your hair from your face or the way he nuzzles his face into your neck that he just absolutely adores you.

Your is Angel and he feels so unworthy of you. He's so lucky to have you in his life and he doesn't want to screw it up.

Mark's not the jelouse type and neither are you. Dispite his man-whore past you both have a lot of trust in your relationship, but if you be-friend Jackson I think Mark would get jelouse.

Mark hates the way Jackson looks at you, Mark knows he likes you. But your completely oblivious to it because all you see is Mark.

Doggie parents at the beginning of your relationship. You brought home a rotwiler puppy home without him knowing one time.

That dog is your protector rather or not Mark is there or not. He also gets jealous of Mark and will nuzzle his way between you too if your hugging or kissing.

Sometimes you guys will get home so late from the hospital you'll just want to set on the couch and watch TV because your both sleep deprived.

You guys really don't know why or how you got into it, but you found a Chanel that shows re-runs of American Ninja Warrior and old WWE matches. You guys just stated watching them all the time.

He calls you Angel

You guys play wrestle all the time. Sometimes he'll just let you win because he loves seeing you being so happy about.

He steals the covers all the time and if you get cold you'll cuddle closer to him to get warm. He's relized this, so he'll intentionally steal the covers just to have extra cuddle time.

You get upset if he makes the interns that are on his service get him coffee or get his dry cleaning. “they aren't your servants, Mark” you say, taking the money back from the intern.

If you want Mark to do that stuff himself, you have to threaten to do it yourself. “I'll get it, I'm going that way anyway” you say and mark will quickly stop you. “no, no, I'll do it... You don't have to do that crap for me”

You guys don't fight often, but if you do it's usually a couple of days of the silent treatment. Both of you are too stubborn to say sorry or admit your wrong too.

Watching old Universal monster movies, your favorite is The Bride of Frankenstein. You even got him to dress up at the two monsters with you on Halloween one time.

If your sick he'll drop everything and take care of you, he doesn't care if he catches whatever you have he wants you comfortable and cared for.

His apartment getting the 'girlfriend touch', everything is just cleaner and more organized when you start living with him. “where's my belt?” Mark asked looking all over the bedroom floor where it used to be.

“in your dresser where it's supposed to be... And if I step on it one more time it's going in the trash”

✨Passenger princess✨

If you have a Stanley or a water bottle, whatever you drink out of, Mark will probably be drinking out of it too. You guys kiss and have sex all the time, so he doesn't care if he drinks after you.

NSFW headcanons:

He’s an expert at foreplay. He’ll spend as much time as he can trying to get you hot and bothered or worked up.

He has a tendency to grip the headboard when he's close to cumming.

He has this mischievous kind of charm to him and he uses it to his advantage when it comes to getting your attention. He knows all your ticks and can easily get your riled up.

Mark loves bitting your neck just to hear you moan. When you finally give in to him, he'll lay you down on the couch or bed and start pealing your clothes off to reveal your chest.

He's definitely the dominant person in bed and your not complaining, he'll get rough and pound hard enough were the bed starts rocking.

The sex maybe rough, but Mark isn't not big on insults. He refuses to degrade you and will only use sweet words.

If you’re struggling to take him in or taking long to adjust, he’ll whisper reassurances that you’re doing a good job while rubbing his hands on your back and thighs.

He prefers missionary, growling in your ear while his hands grip yours above your head.

Mark also loves watching your face while you bounce up and down his dick. He loves the expressions you make when he thrusts up into you when you least expect it.

Mark just likes to lay back and just watch you ride him, he loves the feeling of your thighs and ass in his hands.

He's a soft/mean Dom, it just depends on his mood. But no matter what he always makes sure your comfortable. He loves to take control in the bed but would never push you.

He loves the sounds you make. The moaning, the begging, everything.

Loves eating you out,your legs around his head. He loves your legs in general and loves leaving kisses on the insides of your thighs. He'd rather pleasure you for hours than receive.

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

He love getting head. I feel like he’d like having you on your knees. Plus, feeling your lips around him pushes him closer to cumming in your mouth.

Bondeg kink, handcuffs, his ties, belts, he'll tie you up with anything if your comfortable with it.

There's also a tone of jealous sex. If he sees Alex shamelessly flirting with you expected to be tied to bed as fucks your brains out. If he sees Jackson touch you in a way thats reserved only for him you’re pinned against the wall.

There has been a couple of times Derek has walked in on you while you both are getting it on in one of the on-call rooms, it's safe to day Derek has lernd to knock.

“Mark, he literally saw it” you gasped from under mark.

He kissed your neck. “I was too busy to notice”

This man is amazing when it comes to aftercare. He knows exactly what you need. After your both cleaned up, he'll pull you to his chest to cuddle.

[themultifandomgal]

I have a Mark Sloan x female

What if Mark Sloan had been dating Meredith’s older sister who is head of trauma. Y/n and Mark broke after the situation with his daughter and grandson.

After the night at Joes after the attendings had been celebrating Derek, Mark and y/n ends the night with sleeping together.

About 8 or 9 weeks y/n starts to feeling nauseous and tired. Callie starts to feel the same way as y/n, the two friends takes a pregnancy test and they both finds out that they are pregnant.

Callie had slept with a stranger from joes bar.

Y/n tells Mark that she is pregnant with his child and he wants them to get back together.

Maybe you can make it as two or three parts, something based on season 7 episode 9, 13 and 14

Mark Sloan- Try Again Pt1

It all started 9 weeks ago with one drunken night at Joe’s Bar. One night of weakness. I promised myself I wouldn’t run back to Mark, but I did. We broke up because I felt he needed to focus on his daughter and his unborn grandchild. I still love him, I think I always will. Maybe braking up was a mistake, but here we are. Now Callie and I are sat in my bedroom both with pregnancy tests in hand

“I’m scared” I reveal

“Me to. At least you’ll know who the dad is though”

“Why did we go to the bar that night?”

“Because we were celebrating Derek. The real question is why did we get so drunk?” Callie replies

“Cal, what are we going to do if they’re positive?”

“Well, you need to talk to Mark. But whatever you decide to do I’ll be by your side. If I’m pregnant I’ve already decided I’m going to keep them”

“I mean I have wanted to be a mom forever and I am getting older” just then the timer goes off. Both Callie and I take in a deep breath and look down at the tests in our hands. 2 pink lines. Pregnant. Tears immediately start to threaten to fall from my eyes, emotions are all over the place, scared, confused, excitement

“I’m pregnant” Callie says

“Me to”

“You ok?”

“I honestly don’t know how I feel. You?” I turn to face my best friend

“Same. Guess I gotta tell Arizona now”

“Fuck I gotta tell Mark” I groan placing my head in my hands

“You want me to come with you?”

“No” I shake my head “I gotta do this myself. I’ll call you later”

“Good luck” Callie says as I get up from the couch and leave my apartment, heading straight for my car and then Marks place.

I knock on the door waiting for what feels like ages until it finally opens up to a confused looking Mark

“YN? What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk. Can I come in?”

“Sure…” Mark opens up the door more so I can step into his place. Knowing where everything is I head straight to the kitchen to get out a bottle of beer for him and a glass of juice for myself

“Bit early to drink isn’t it”

“I think your gonna need it. Go sit” I follow Mark back into the living room and sit down next to him. It’s silent for a number of minutes until Mark finally says

“So you going to tell me why your here and trying to get me drunk while you sip on orange juice”

“Mark, I’m pregnant”

“Your… you… are you sure”

“Yeah. Took a test this morning. Plus no period, I’ve been feeling nauseous and tired. Boobs are aching and I swear they’re already a cup size bigger”

“But we used…”

“Are you sure we did because we were both pretty drunk. Look I think I want this, the baby. I’m getting older and I’ve wanted kids for a long time. If you want to be apart of their life I would love that, if not then that’s ok I under….”

“No I want to do this. I’ve missed the chance to be a dad before. I’m not doing that again. I want to be part of their life”

“Well ok then. I still need to book for a scan so I’ll Errm let you know” I stand up ready to leave

“Wait. Err I was just making some lunch, made to much for one… so if you’d like, you can stay for a bit” I give Mark a little smile and nod my head

“Ok. Yeah”

[chicleeblair]

Uncomfortably Numb [12/?]||FFN

Rating: NC-17/Explicit

Pairings: Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Lexie Grey/Mark Sloan

Meredith isn't the only Grey to make it home alive after the plane crash. How does Lexie's survival affect everyone else's recovery? With Mark gone and returning to the O.R. as a surgeon an unlikelihood in her uncertain future, can Lexie really say she's survived? AO3||FFN

[thequeenofcupps]

VENTURE DATING HC’S

A/N: ok so I've literally have never had fanfics before so please bare with me, also I made the reader female implied but y’all can do any gender you want

CW: scars, insecurity

TW: SH scars mention

☆ Ok so you know that studio ghibli thing I said about them? yeah they’d probably keep you hostage so you guys would stay in and watch most of them. Oh you have to work or if you need to run errands? Sucks they haven’t seen you in a while and they’ve missed you :(

☆ After their expeditions they like to bring back rocks, crystals, or any cool thing they find and give them to you. Now you have 2 selves of things they’ve brought back :D

☆So I’ve seen people write/draw Sloan with tattoos and I’ve wanted to partake on this hc.

I feel like they’d like telling you stories behind their tattoos, like if they’re getting dressed and you ask about one they’d tell you about it but then they’d get carried away and start explaining ALL of their tattoos.

☆They.are.the.biggest.cuddlebug.everrrr. Like they’ll cuddle you anywhere and anytime. Cooking? Boom they're behind you hugging you, Folding laundry? Womp they’re laying on your thighs, laying down for a nap? Their ass is SPRINTING to cuddle with you, it doesn’t matter what their doing cuddles is a must have for them. They just love you so much :c

☆Also on my applying lipstick hc I made a couple days ago, yeah whenever you put on lipstick whether you work for Overwatch or you live with them or work with them for the Wayfinder Society you like to fluster them by just smooching them then leaving a very flustered Sloan with kiss marks on them.

☆They are VERY affectionate, like if they’re always texting you good night, kissing you on your lips, forehead, hand, etc. bear hugging you, slow dancing in the kitchen with them it really doesn’t matter if you don’t live with them yet or if you do live with them they’re so lovey dovey with you 💗

☆if they’re on a mission for overwatch or for the Wayfinder Society they’re sending you cute cat pictures saying cute shit like “you’re purrr-fect!” or a cat holding a heart and saying “I miss you and love u pookums :c” cuz you’re so far away for them but they still like to tell you that they love you

☆you’re so perfect to them It doesn’t matter if you have SH scars, stretch marks, thick thighs, plus-sized, hairy, acne, acne scars, if you chew nails, it doesn’t matter to them they love you so much and they reassure you that they will always love you no matter what you look like

(One more hc is when they first saw you careless whisper started playing in that slow motion montage and they had heart eyes)

A/N: I hope I did ok with these reminder it is my first time making an x reader fanfic of some sort so feel free to critique me 😚

Also I probably made a fuck ton of mistakes cuz my 15 yr old ass didn’t pay attention in language class

[specialagentlokitty]

Derek Shepherd x Daughter!reader - making it up to you

Derek Shepherd with a teen daughter plss? i have no specific storyline but i’d lovee to see a hurt/comfort between them! - Anon💜

Sitting with your uncle in the hospital cafeteria, you looked around as you tried to find your dad but there was absolutely no sight of him anywhere.

“What’s up kid? You look more upset then that time I didn’t let you push me in the pool.” Mark chuckled.

You cracked a small smile but it quickly fell as you looked to the table at the food tray that your trash was sat on waiting to be tossed.

Mark frowned a little but he didn’t say anything as he waited for you to reply.

“I was actually supposed to have lunch with dad… I couldn’t find him or call him though so I called you because I was already here…” you mumbled.

“Ouch, I’m hurt you never even thought about me little shepherd.”

This got a small laugh out of you and Mark smiled, pulling your tray over to his side and he stacked it on his gesturing for you to get up and follow him.

So you did, he got up and you did the same, following him around the hospital.

He gestured for you to wait while he went into a staff only room, and he came out about 10 minutes later holding his hand out to you.

“What?” You asked.

“Well if you’re dad isn’t going to be a dad to you, I will. Let’s go, we’re gonna grab some snacks, and watch that crappy Tv show you like so much.”

“You don’t have to uncle, I know you probably want to sleep.”

Mark rolled his eyes, placing his hand on your head as he gently pulled you next to him, arm around your shoulder as he started to walk.

“I have a week off kid, I couldn’t care less about missing a day of sleep. Plus you’re more important right now, and I want you to tell me everything that’s going on with your dad, got it?”

You nodded and he grinned down at you.

Derek saw you leaving the hospital with Mark, and he went to walk over when he was stopped by Meredith calling his name.

He looked at you before turning back to Meredith.

You were with Mark so he knew you were safe, he’d see you after his shift when he got home anyways, and he was sure if it was important you would’ve called him.

Walking over to Meredith he smiled as he pulled her in for a hug.

You spent the whole day at the apartment with your uncle watching tv and laughing and joking you were still excited for when your dad finished his shift, you were supposed to be going to dinner with him.

As the time ticked by you felt your happiness slowly fall and this was something mark noticed.

“(Y/N)?” He asked as he grabbed his jacket.

He stopped leaving and turned around as he heard your heavy sigh.

“His shift ended an hour ago and he’s not home… he’s not even bothered to call but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised…”

“Let me call him, okay? I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

You waited for Mark to return and when he did he seemed angry, but he kept his temper as he walked over and sat next to you.

“He’s not coming home tonight.”

“It’s because of her? Right?”

He nodded his head.

Of course it was because of her, ever since you two moved here it was all about that Meredith.

You couldn’t even go live with your mom because she moved away, and you didn’t want to leave your school and friends again.

Tears burned your eyes and mark placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Come on, pack some of your stuff you’re coming to mine for a few days, you shouldn’t be abandoned like this.”

“What about when dad comes back?”

Mark shrugged and gave you a grin.

“I’ll fight him if you want me to, I’m adopting you now, you’re a sloan now kid.”

You laughed and rolled your eyes.

“Alright dad.” You sassed.

“That’s weird, don’t say that.”

“Hey, you said I’m your blood now. That makes you my dad!”

“No! I’m still your uncle!”

“Nope! I’ve adopted you. You’re my father now. There’s no escaping.”

“Oh yes there is.”

Mark bolted from the apartment with your packed bag in his hand and you laughed chasing after him, only stopping to lock the door behind you.

Derek called you the following day, but seemed to be happy when you told him you were spending time with Mark.

Even after Marks holiday ended you stay with him, you practically lived with him at this point and Derek finally realised you’d been gone a long time.

You weren’t feeling well, and Mark had taken the day to look after you, and that’s when he realised it wasn’t getting any better.

Your fever was going up, and you were getting worse and worse and Mark started to panic.

“Come on, we’re going to the hospital. Come on.” He whispered.

He helped you pull your favourite hoodie on over your head to try stop your from shivering, then he wrapped you in the blanket next to you and picked you up.

You were dazed, barely making any sense when you talked.

He didn’t bother locking his door, he didn’t care if he was robbed or not, you were far more important.

He rushed you to the hospital and upon seeing you in the surgeons arms the nurses wasted no time in rushing you away to start preforming tests on you.

“Sloan? Why are you here I though you had the day off?”

Mark turned to Meredith and he scowled at her.

“Tell Derek to remember that he’s a damn father!” He snapped before storming off.

All Mark could do was pace while he waited for you to return, and he didn’t see or hear from Derek while he did.

After what felt like days Mark was escorted to your room and you were half asleep when he walked in.

He closed the door and walked over.

“Mark…?” You mumbled out.

“Hey kiddo, I’m here.”

“What.. what’s wrong with me…”

Mark sat up on the side of your bed and let you hold his hand as you wheezed for breath.

“You caught the flu, you’ve got a real bad cause of pneumonia, but you’re going to be okay.” He whispered.

You nodded your head and closed your eyes, taking a shallow breath.

“Where’s… dad…?”

“He’ll be here soon.”

You nodded again and fell asleep.

Mark didn’t actually know where Derek was, he didn’t even know if he was at the hospital today or not.

He didnt bother trying to call his friend either, if he was there, if he wasn’t answering the hospitals calls then that’s Derek’s fault, not yours.

Mark had fallen asleep while sitting with you, what woke him up was the sound of someone trying to quietly close the door.

He peaked an eye open and closed it again.

“So you remembered you’ve got a daughter?” He asked.

“I was in a meeting, I didn’t know. My phone was off, and no one came to find me.”

Mark scoffed.

Derek walked over and stood at the edge of the bed as he looked down at your pale form.

“How is she?” He asked.

“If you were here you would’ve known, or you can just get her chart and read it.”

“Mark just tell me how my daughter is. I’m her legal guardian not you.” Derek growled.

Mark got up and pushed Derek out the room, closing the door softly behind him and spun around to face Derek.

As mark spun around he punched Derek in the face, sending him stumbling back.

“Her legal guardian?! Where were you when she waited for you to come home to have dinner with her?! Or when she was crying her eyes out because she missed Addison! That’s right, you were banging Grey!”

“I wasn’t with Meredith! I was busy with patients and (Y/N) seemed happy staying with you for a while!”

“Yeah, well she was pissed with you and didn’t want ti be alone. I’ve been more of a father to the kid in the past few weeks then you have been in months!” Mark hissed.

His went back into your room while Derek brought a hand up to cover his bloody nose, glancing at all the people who stopped to look at him before he walked away.

Derek tended to his nose, and he started at himself in the mirror, tears filling his eyes.

Was he really pushing you away?

The door to the on call room was pushed open and quietly closed and Derek turned around to find mark standing there.

“Here to punch me again?“ Derek snapped.

“No, look I’m sorry. It’s just (Y/N)s been really missing you man. She needs you.”

“I know.. I’ve fucked up Mark… big time..”

Mark walked over, placing a hand on his best friends shoulder.

“And you can still make it right, she’s asking for you.”

Mark pulled Derek in for a hug, patting his back before he pulled away and pushed him towards the door.

“Now go, I’m going to grab her phone charger and some food, but she wants you.”

Derek rushed to your room and made his way inside to see you had fallen asleep again.

He walked over and sat where mark had been sat not long ago, and he wrapped his arms around you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he laid with you.

“Dad…?” You mumbled.

“I’m here sweetheart, just rest.”

You made a noise and cuddled yourself into his side, a soft smile on your face as you did

[crazyk-imagine]

Ruined Relationships, but the Love is There

Pairing: Mark Sloane x Ex-Girlfriend!reader

Characters: Mark Sloane, Ex-Girlfriend!reader, Kara Sloane, Jackson Avery, April Kepner, Meredith Grey, Christina Yang, Derek Sheppard, George O'Malley, Owen Hunt, Addison Montgomery (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, cheating, adultery, ooc peeps, minor cursing, drama (what else would you expect), like a lot of drama, near death experience, classic grey's things going on here, cheating, bad relationships, mentions of pregnancy, keeping children hidden from father, car accidents, reader is a doctor, everyone is in kahoots, Christina is into beating, Meredith and Derek are cute, Bailey is great as always, George is here and lives, no mentions of Izzie or Alex, friendships between Mark and Meredith, plus Mark and Christina, Christina is a secret romantic at heart

Word Count: 4,593

A/N: I feel like everyone is ooc but idc bc I love this fic

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You ignore him, praying to whatever god is listening to keep him away from you.

Meredith and Christina notice the tension in your shoulders, sharing a look.

“You know I don’t care about a lot of people but, are you okay?” the curly haired female asks.

You shrug, acting as if nothing has changed. “I’m fine, why?”

Meredith chimes in. “You’re looking a little-“

“Squirrely?”

“I was gonna go with tense but squirrely works.”

You huff through your nose, “would you two shut up.” You hand the clipboard back to your favorite nurse, Marjorie. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You spin around and walk out, not looking back.

Derek shakes his head, watching you basically run out of the hospital.

Mark glances behind him, not finding who he wanted and sighs. He looks up to see his friend and offers a small wave.

The ferry boat lover nods to acknowledge him.

The plastic surgeon bids the others goodbye and stands in front of the doors, thinking about everything that led him here.

You drive past him without realizing it as he thinks of your face when you caught him in bed with Addison.

His eyes trail on the car, wishing he could see you again and not just glimpses.

-

You roll your eyes and walk away across the bridge, not caring how unprofessional you look. “I’m not talking to you.”

He picks up his pace, following after you. “Please just-“

You scoff, spinning around to face him, “no, I tried before. I did and then,” you lean forward poking him in his chest, “you decided to stick your dick in someone else. Someone who was married and oh, yeah, not your girlfriend.” You cross your arms, “so, excuse me for not being particularly excited at the sight of you.”

“Fiancé.”

You blink once, furrowing your brows. “What?”

“I was,” he gulps. "I was going to propose to you that night.” He pulls the little black box out of his pocket, handing it to you.

”Before or after you screwed Addison,” you bitterly add, staring at the box. If you open it, that's giving him hope.

"I- she came to me and-“

You scoff hard enough for the vibrations to scratch your throat for a few seconds. “I cannot believe this- you- you think it’s okay to just- I’m done.”

“Please don’t,” he begs, eyes getting glossier the more you talk. “Don’t say it.”

Your bottom lip wobbles, removing your gaze from him. “I’m done with this, with us, and you. Now, you get to deal with the guilt. If you have any at all.” You slam the box in his hand and walk away.

Nothing could have prepared anyone at the hospital for this.

You know they’re all looking at you and it pisses you off. “What are you looking at?!”

Christina does damage control, stopping everyone from getting your wrath.

-

Meredith finds him in the on-call room, she was hoping to nap before joining in on a surgery but seems like the universe had other plans. ”You uh- okay?”

He fiddles with the box, staring at the diamond that taunts him. “Does it look I’m okay?”

She shrugs, “not really but it’s better than admitting you were stupid for messing things up with her.”

“My mistake brought Derek to you, didn’t it?”

“Why are you here?”

“If I go to Joe’s I’m going to sleep around, proving her point.”

“And staying here?”

“I don’t know where else to go. Derek is still upset with me, and I don’t blame him, but I know he loves you and I don’t need to hear a speech from him. I’m not ready for him to tell me I messed up more than any of us want to admit.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” He asks, finally looking up from the ring. “I was scared.”

“To,” she gestures to the ring.

“That and be a husband.”

“You weren’t scared of asking, it was the commitment that got you, I can understand it.”

“No, no," he shakes his head. "I didn’t think- I knew I wouldn’t be a good husband. I- everyone only saw the bad, my parents, Derek at times but she didn’t. She never did and that’s why I,” he lets out a tearful chuckle, “that’s why I fell for her. She saw the good no one else did and I screwed it up.”

Meredith hands him a tissue.

“You tell anyone about this, and I’ll let you observe one of my surgeries beside me.”

“I wasn’t but if you’re offering.”

The two chuckled.

-

Christina owlishly blinks, watching as you work on your last patient for the day as if nothing’s happened.

“How can she just put it all behind her?” George questions, sitting beside her.

“Having a nervous breakdown earlier in the day helps.”

“I feel like there should be someone sitting between us.”

The future cardiologist shrugs, “suit yourself.”

“You’re going to check on her after she’s done, right?”

“I’ll talk to her, if she opens up, good for her.”

A smile dances across his lips, happy that someone’s going to check on you; he likes you and admires your work, knowing you could be someone as well-known as Ellis Grey.

-

“Can you teach me your sutures?”

You ignore her and finish checking over your charts. “Yours are fine. Tell me the real reason you're bugging me.”

She purses her lips, not wanting to admit it out loud. “Are you okay?”

“You really want to know?”

She hesitates to nod. “I… do.”

“It sucks. Everything just… sucks. I don’t want to be here, but this is the only place that makes me feel calm.” You hand Marjorie the chart, smiling at her before returning to Christina. “I’m going to get through this. He’s going to find a nice girl and have the family he always wanted while I’ll still be here.”

“He’s going to go through girls like I go through tequila.”

“I know,” you grab your bag. “Which is why I know he’ll finally find his girl.”

She follows you until you reach the door. "What if it's you?"

A sad smile stretches across your lips. "He lost her."

”Forever?”

You shrug.

The resident stands there, unsure of what to do now.

-

You glance in his direction, wondering how many women he’s going to write down on the sheet. You hand yours back to Bailey, “I keep my life outside of work, unlike some people.”

Mark inwardly groans.

Bailey avoids making eye contact with him, she can’t continue to feel bad for him when he’s the one who messed things up (from what you told her).

You walk past the new residents, not in the mood to deal with them, especially with the girls fawning over Mark.

-

You sit down and watch his surgery, listening to the way he talks down to them.

You always told him he needs to slow down and be kind to them or else they won’t respect him but with everything that’s happened, you assume he’s a little bitter.

He always knows when you're watching and composes himself, but he can’t help and snap at the newbie (you don’t need to be talked about as if you’re a piece of meat). He glances up, catching your gaze.

You gulp, finding his soft expression he only used for you.

Everyone turns to you.

Two of the girls in orange start gossiping beside you.

“I have charts to look over. Come with me?” George asks.

You nod, finding it hard to keep your gaze off him but do so, only to inform the girls of some key information. “Keep talking like that and you two won’t find yourself off bedpan duty for a few months. Don’t talk about your superiors like that again."

The young faced one eyes widen and her face pales at your threat.

Mark can’t help but smirk behind his mask, always loving it when you straightened people out, if it was necessary.

-

"I see you two still aren’t talking.”

“Shut up, George.”

“Right, yeah. Got it.”

-

You try and ignore him again, which is when Derek steps in. “You should talk to him.”

“I know you two are all buddy buddy now, but I can’t do that. I can’t pretend like he didn’t break my heart in two. So, excuse me for ignoring your best friend."

He stops in front of you. “I need you to stop, think about this. What if you two don’t make amends and something happens? How would you feel? Think about how he would feel?”

“We’d be depressed, but eventually get over it, maybe be slutty for a few months and that’s the end of it.”

“That’s not a healthy way of dealing with your feelings and you know it.”

“I don’t care if it’s healthy or not. I have issues and I deal with them my way.”

“If you’d talk to him, maybe you’ll feel better.”

You roll your eyes and head into the prep station before you two head into surgery.

-

Bailey rolls her eyes, reaching for your phone. “Your phone keeps buzzing, doctor.”

You sigh, “does it look important?”

She leans closer, whispering, “it’s about your daughter.”

“Daycare or babysitter?”

“Babysitter. Fever, wants her mom.”

You take a deep breath and lean over to talk to your friend, “doctor Bailey’s going to take over. I need to go.”

“You’re leaving in the middle of a surgery?”

“I have to take care of something.”

“What?”

“My daughter.”

The staff in the OR got quiet, no one observing said anything.

You didn’t see the lights until it was too late.

-

“We got one adult in critical condition. One child with a minor bruising.”

Bailey and Owen are the first to arrive.

The woman’s eyes narrow to the familiar baby in Matt’s arms.

Owen steps forward. “What happened?”

“Car accident. Drunk ran a red light. Drivers side took more of the impact.”

“We need to get her checked out now.” The redhead pushes himself through, taking over one of the rooms. He tells the interns and fresh residents to prep a surgical room and put Christina on babysitting duty, leaving Jackson to follow him and Callie into the OR.

“I heard there was an accident,” Mark says, standing in the doorway. “I wanted to see if you needed any assistance?”

Callie glances at her ally in the room. “No, you should go check on Derek. I think I heard him calling for you.”

“When did he-"

“She’s coding,��� Jackson interrupts.

“Crap! Avery, push one of epi.”

Everyone in the room prays for it to work and you to come back.

“Let me help,” he takes a step forward before being called away by one of the nurses.

-

He takes a sip of coffee, goes over the notes and overhears a few residents gossiping. His head whips in their direction. "Where'd you hear that?” He asks them, not accepting their answers.

They freeze. "Where did you hear that? Is she here?"

The group of residents’ glances at one another, unsure of what to say. "Who told you she's here?"

April had never worked with Mark before and seeing how freaked out he was over someone who wanted almost nothing to do with him, she felt bad; if someone she was in love with was hurt or worse, she'd want to know. "We- we saw her come in. They-"

He doesn't listen to anything else and takes off, running past Christina, who coddles the tear eyed, red faced toddler in her arms.

-

He runs straight towards Meredith, who's talking to Owen. "Where is she?"

The red head takes a step foward. "She's in surgery-"

"What room?"

"Sloan, you know I can't-"

He grabs Owen's scrubs by the collar and pulls him close. "I need to see her. I can't be here, waiting to see if she's dead or not. Tell me where she is."

The ex-vet slowly reaches for the man's hands. "Mark, I need you to calm down."

"How can I calm down when I just found out my fiancé is in surgery?"

-

Meredith takes a seat beside him, slumping against the wall, offering him a snack.

He shakes his head, closes his eyes and resting his head against the wall. "Have you heard anything?"

"No," she shakes her head. "I don't even know where she is."

"I just- what am I going to do if she's really-"

"Don't talk like that. She's not one to give up. She's-"

"A fighter?"

"Yeah."

Christina turns the corner, eyes wide. "Meredith?" She spots the two of them and runs towards them, inadvertently introducing your daughter to her father. "Mer. Mer. I need your help."

"Where did you get a baby?" She pushes herself off the floor. "Why do you have a baby?"

"Bailey put me on Kara duty and she won't stop crying."

"Whose baby, is it?"

That's when things got awkward.

Meredith's eyes widen, "no."

She nods.

Mark opens his eyes, glancing up. His eyes stop on the little girl, who glances his way.

She reaches for him. "Dada."

No one knew what to do.

"Oh my god," the two women muttered.

He pushes himself off the floor, staring at her. There's no mistaking it, she has your features, but she's got his eyes.

The little girl fusses in the woman's arms.

Mark easily slides her into his, his daughter settles into his arms, staring at him with those wide, curious eyes. "Mama?"

He gulps, "we have to wait a little bit before we see mama, okay?"

She nods and lays her head down on his chest.

He closes his eyes to keep his tears at bay, kissing the top of her head.

-

"She still loves you," Christina tells him.

He keeps his gaze on his girls and hums. "When you showed her the ring, she didn't say it was officially over for you two but she's still heartbroken over you and Addison getting together."

"I was getting ready to leave."

"What?"

"I grabbed my jacket and made sure I had the ring. I was- I wanted that night to go perfectly but then I opened the door, and she was there." He sighs.

"She let herself in and I tried to get her to leave but she wouldn't and then she kissed me. I told her I couldn't because I was about to become a proud married man," he bitterly chuckles.

"I told her no and she got upset because she knew she could always run to me but when she knew she couldn't anymore, she decided she wanted to love me. The way I wanted her to when we were younger. I accepted it, you know."

The woman nods.

"I accepted the fact that she chose Derek. He was a good choice."

"He was a safe choice, and she knew that."

Mark nods, "yeah and that's why I... tried to warn him before he proposed."

"You tried to warn him?"

"He's my best friend, I couldn't let him go into a marriage that was going to hurt him."

She chuckles, "that's ironic."

"Shut up, Yang."

"Go on."

"I gave into her because a part of me was scared- scared I was going to hear the rejection. No, I can't marry you because..."

"You're a manwhore?"

"Baby present and, yes. I didn't want my past to define my future but then, it did, and she left with Derek."

"Do you think Derek knew about," Christina gestures to the baby in his arms.

"Probably. I'm not happy I missed it but at least I know she had someone who could take care of her."

"Are you ever going to tell her?"

"If she'll listen."

Her pager beeps.

"Go, Yang. I'm not leaving."

Derek nods and steps into the room.

"You hear all that?"

His friend shrugs, "only the good parts."

"Funny."

"She was going to tell you before... everything happened but then she needed to get away and I did too-"

"So, she left without saying anything."

"If it means anything, she wrote a journal throughout the entire pregnancy, in case she passed, and Kara wanted to know about her mom."

He can tell by Mark's expression; he needs to explain.

"She was stressed throughout the entire pregnancy, and it was cause for concern. She had a few fainting spells and needed to stay home for a while. The doctor was making it seem like if she even went to the bathroom, she was going to lose Kara which scared her more than leaving you."

"Why?"

"If she lost Kara, it meant losing a piece of you which would have made her feel like it was officially over for the two of you."

Your heart monitor beeps. "Derek?"

His friend calms you down, checking you over before whispering that Mark and Kara are in the room.

You slowly turn your head, spotting them.

The father of your child smiles, relieved to see you awake. "Hey."

You spot your little girl tucked into his neck and tear up. You bring your hand up to your mouth to hide the sobs that want to escape.

Mark gestures for your guys' friend to exit so he can talk to you. He slowly pushes himself out of the chair, adjusting to the little girl. "Hey, hey," he brushes the few strands of hair out of your face, his thumb rubbing agaist your hairline. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "Don't be. I'm just- I'm happy you're okay."

"I wanted to call you so many times."

"I know."

"I wanted you to be there."

"Where?"

"In the room," you whisper, staring into his eyes. "I didn't want her to be away from you but-"

He nods. "I know, I messed up. If I didn't- if it didn't happen, we could have been a family, and I will forever be sorry because you went through it alone."

Hearing your voice alerts the little girls’ ears and she squirms in his grasp.

He sets her feet on the open area near your arm, letting her turn around and launch herself into your arms. "Mama!"

"Oh, my sweet baby." You kiss the side of her head. "Mama missed you."

His heart swells at the sight of you two.

-

A few days later and you feel okay enough to be sent home.

You bid your goodbyes to everyone, even the newbies because they were nice enough to check in on you and make sure everything was okay. You step outside and take a deep breath.

"What do you think you're doing?"

A quiet moment ruined by your ex.

"I'm breathing, Mark. Can I do that, or do you need to make sure the weather's just right?"

He chuckles before getting out of the car. "You know your doctor gave you strict orders, I think you should be following them but that's just me."

You stare at him with a deadpan expression. "I got it, Mark. I know what I need to do, don't try and patronize me."

"I would never."

-

The residents huddle together, watching the two of you.

"How much do you want to bet that they're going to get back together?" Christina asks.

Jackson nods, "I'll take that bet."

Meredith stares at the two of them.

"You two are awful," April adds.

"Yes, but we'll be bad people with money," the future cardiologist tells her with a sarcastic smile.

Derek stops at the desk, taking a sip of his coffee before making his way to the group. "Okay, if we're all done gawking at two grown adults trying to move past their differences, can we get back to work?"

"You're no fun. I remember when you were having fun."

"You want to scrub in on my surgery, Dr. Yang?"

"Let's go have fun. See yah, Mer."

-

You make it through the door of your place and wait for it. "Say it."

"What?" He closes the door, setting the stroller by the door as he unbuckles Kara.

"I know you're judging, so, out with it. I'm not going to pretend as if you don't want to say something because you do."

"I don't," he notices the look you're giving him. "I... like it."

"You hesitated even finishing that sentence."

"I did not."

"Did too."

"Mama!"

You two glance down at the little girl, wanting attention and out of her father's grasp. You gently take her from him and wander into the kitchen, scouring through the cabinets to figure out what kind of things you could have as a snack.

This is what he wants, he wants this life: the one where you're not mad at him, and he can watch his daughter grow while you look amazing at being a mom.

He gulps down what little saliva he has in his mouth and takes a hesitant step closer to you. "What are we feeling?"

You hum, "I don't know, little miss here can't decide on what she wants."

"I can make something," he meekly offers, unsure if this is too much or not.

"What can you make? Last time I checked all you knew was protein smoothies and even then, that wasn't the best."

He scoffs, "I know how to cook, and you know it. You forget who made you dinner for our second date."

You open your mouth to respond but don't have it in you when you think about the good times you two had. Your gaze drops.

He feels bad but he can't pretend as if your romantic past doesn't exist. "I was so worried I messed up with that dinner."

"Really?"

"Of course, I was cooking for the most beautiful girl within a five-mile radius of my house. I was more than nervous."

"Good."

-

You step out of the room and start cleaning up, only for Mark to stop you and grab everything you pick up.

"I told you not to do anything. I got this."

You lean over the couch and watch him wander around your place. "Do you..."

"What?" He glances up, staring at you with kind eyes, wanting to hear what you have to say.

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if it didn't happen?"

"I know we'd be married with at least one other kid now."

"I'm serious."

"I don't want to focus on the past."

You scoff, rolling your eyes.  "Says the man who always wanted to ask about my exes."

-

You don't even know how it happened but here you are. You pull away, needing to breathe before continuing.

"Are you sure about this?"

You stare into his eyes, for what feels like an eternity. "I'm sure. I want this. Please," you beg.

His lips curve upwards, "who am I to deny you a fun time?"

You keep him at arm’s length, "that comment makes me want to rethink this whole thing."

"No, it doesn't."

You grumble and pull him back in for a kiss.

Meredith immediately closes the door, regretting not checking before opening. "Seriously you guys?"

You reach for your shirt and cover your mouth to hide your giggles, Mark turns to you with a smirk. "How do you know we weren't trying to invite you?"

"Because you know better."

Your eyes widen.

"Hey, Bailey," he says with a cool tone.

"You two better be out of there in the next five minutes or-"

You open the door and run past the two. "See yah, Bails. See yah, Mer."

Mark stays there flabbergasted at how quickly you ran out the door, leaving him to deal with her.

-

He closes the door just as you finish making dinner. "You are evil."

You stick your bottom lip out, "I don't think so, I made dinner. I'm going to be feeding you, I'd consider that to be something nice."

"You left me to deal with that- that woman alone."

"I left you with Bails, you were fine."

"I was not fine. I was far from fine."

You click your tongue, "stop exaggerating."

"I'm not and you know it."

"Okay," you groan. "I'm sorry. I left you with Bailey and that wasn't nice."

"It wasn't." He wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest.

"I said sorry, don't be like this."

"I think I'm going to need a little more in order to forgive you."

You lean into him as you settle into his arms.

The monitor goes off and you're brought back to the reality of you being in the arms of your ex.

You push yourself out of his grasp and walk towards her room. "Hey, pumpkin."

She holds her arms out for you.

You pick her up, "how's my little baby?"

She babbles a response. "Dada?"

"He's still here, checking on dinner. Your favorite."

"Maccheese!"

You chuckle, "yeah."

"There's my favorite girl," he smiles at the happy little girl.

You observe the way they interact with a heavy heart, knowing you can't continue doing this with him.

-

"What happened?" Christina asks, practicing new sutures on a banana.

"Nothing happened-"

"You're not sleeping with McSteamy, something happened."

"I just- I realized we need to not fall back into old habits."

"Do you still love him?"

You hesitate to answer.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Of course, of course I still love him, but I can't be in love with him-"

"Because he was an adulterous whore?"

"Yeah."

"Have you seen him with anyone else?"

"I didn't need to see anything if all the girls talked about him?"

"Did you ever think maybe they lied? Maybe they're jealous of the fact that you have a hot guy fawning over you and only you. What else would they do other than gossip?"

"How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Have you ever talked to him?"

"I'm scared."

"So is he."

"I don't want to get hurt again."

"He wouldn’t want to lose you again."

"Christina?"

"Yeah?"

"You're wise beyond your years."

-

You run to him, pulling him into the break room.

He attempts to get up. "Shut up and let me talk."

You take a deep breath, "I want to be with you, like we were before but we're not those people anymore. And- and I want you to be in Kara's life so you can watch her grow up but this," you gesture between the two of you.

"This can only work if we're honest and you don't leave me for a quick lay or else, I will put you in an OR and change things about you. I will not put myself or Kara on the line if you're not going to give us your all."

He nods, taking in everything you've said. He pushes himself off the couch and walks towards you and pulls you in for a hug. "I'm never letting you go," he mumbles into your hair. "Living without you was the worst time of my life."

Mark pulls away, cupping your cheek, staring into your eyes. "If you let me into your lives, I promise not to mess it up because you two are too important to me and I don't know if I'd be able to live without you."

You sniffle, chuckling at his dorky smile. "Then don't be an idiot and kiss me."

-

"Finally," Christina turns around, pointing to everyone. "You all owe me money."

"Us."

"You owe Mer and I money."

Derek makes his way towards them. "What are we looking at?" He smiles, "good, it's about time he got his act together."

[arsenal-womens-1]

I see you in my reflection part 2

Tw: guns school shooting death blood self harm description of death murder panic attack if there’s any I’ve missed sorry

“The bravest thing I ever did was continue my life when I wanted to die.” — Juliette Lewis

“If you love someone, you say it. You say it right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just passes you by.” — Mark Sloan

Six hours later, you are on your way back to Leah's. It was just going to be Beth, Viv, you, and Leah having dinner tonight after you’re planning on watching a movie called *The Fallout*. You have no clue what it’s about, but it’s apparently meant to be good. It’s cold outside, not too cold, but still cold. The car comes to a stop. Finally, you get out of the car and run to the door. Leah walks up the stairs as slowly as possible, finally opening the door. You run in, running straight to the kitchen. Leah had agreed to let you help with dinner. It’s called marry me chicken. It takes about 45 minutes to cook.

“Right, get all the ingredients out, and we can start cooking,” Leah says, pulling out all the ingredients: 30 g of plain flour, 4 chicken breasts, 125 g sundried tomatoes in oil (drained and roughly chopped), 3 tbsp oil (reserved), 1 red onion (finely chopped), 3 garlic cloves (crushed or finely grated), ½ - 1 tsp chili flakes (to taste), 2-3 thyme or oregano sprigs (leaves picked), or 1 tsp mixed dried herbs, 150 ml of double cream, 250 ml of chicken stock, 35 g parmesan (grated), 8-10 basil leaves (torn), and lemon wedges.

Halfway through making it, there is a knock at the door before Leah can say anything. You run to the door. Beth and Viv are just standing there. “Come in,” you say, taking off their shoes and coats. You all walk back into the kitchen where Leah is still doing stuff for the food. “How was media day?” You just shrug your shoulders at that.

“Boring, mainly they all ask the same question, just in a different way,” you reply. Beth and Vivian just shake their heads. You have said multiple times that you don’t like media days. This is only the second one you’ve done, but you still have the same opinion: “Yeah, they do that a lot apart from a few, and since you couldn’t do any work today, you need to do a bit more tomorrow.” The only downside of living with Beth and Vivian is that they make you do schoolwork. It’s the most boring thing.“What if I don’t do any more schoolwork?” you ask.

Viv loses it at your shoes, saying that no matter what you are doing, the work is still there.

You just accept your fate. “Can someone call my phone? I’ve lost it. It’s aging.” Leah holds your phone up and says, “Thank you.” Opening your phone, there is a text from your dad.

Dad:

“Hey kid, I know we haven’t spoken in a bit, but I thought I would text you and see how you are doing. Also, Max and Missy want to know if you are going to be home this summer for their birthday.”

You:

“Hey Dad, I’m doing good. I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it home this summer, but tell Max and Missy that I miss them and I wish I could be there, but I can’t. I’ll send them presents.”

Dad:

“It’s okay, kid. You don’t have to apologize. I know why you don’t want to come back, but they wanted to know if you were able to come. It’s good to hear that you’re doing well. I have to go. The twins need to be dropped off at your grandma’s house.”

You:

“I’ll text you later. I love you too.”

“Who are you texting?” Leah asks as she finishes cooking.

“My dad was asking if I was going home this summer.” In the time the team had, knowing you’ve only ever said that you lived in America, you dodged any other questions, so at one point they all just left it, seeing that you didn’t want to talk about it before you got there. “Are you going home this summer?” they asked.

“No, I think I’m just going to go to another country,” you told them.

They all nodded. “What country are you thinking of going to?”

You had thought about this a lot. “I was thinking Norway, Sweden, Spain, or the Netherlands. I’ve always wanted to go to those countries.” When you said “Netherlands,” Viv smiled a bit for the next 45 minutes. You all talked for 20 minutes before the food was done. It was time for the movie.

The movie starts with a girl sitting on the toilet. Three minutes later, she walks to the bathroom. Viv and Beth are sitting next to each other, and Leah is in the middle. On the end, exactly seven minutes in, it sounds like a door banging and screaming more. It feels like your heart is about to pound out of your chest. A lump in your throat starts to form.

Blood everywhere, screaming, bullets.

“I can’t breathe.” The second you say that, all three of them are beside you. Vivian lifts you up and places you in her lap. “Copy my breathing pattern.”

“Y/N, I’m scared.” The door slams open.

“They didn’t do anything wrong; it should have been me.” Your breathing isn’t slowing down. “They didn’t deserve it; we were just kids.” Beth is now standing behind you, kind of trapping you like a burrito. “Copy my breathing, kid.” You try your best to copy her breathing, eventually doing so.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Your head is still on Vivian’s chest.

“I’m a twin… was a twin. The shock on their faces was something. We were identical. Lucy was 1 minute and 25 seconds older than me. She always would use that or say it was the best time of her life.” Tears were falling down your face. The girls said nothing, so you continued. “When we were 4, we moved from California to New York. Our next-door neighbors had a girl our age. Her name was Lily. She had green eyes, brown hair, and was a little bit taller than us. We became inseparable. We were in the same class. It was grade 6; we were in 4th period English with Miss Cooper. We sat at the back of her class.”

“Today we are learning about Romeo and Juliet.” Lily is to the left of you, and Lucy is to the right. “Lily, give me a pencil; I’ve forgotten mine again.”

“We were 12 minutes into the class when the first shouts could be heard two doors down from us. The screams for help were horrifying. We did everything they said to do. He was down with that class fast. He moved to the one next to us. There was a door connecting both classrooms together. We didn’t barricade it.”

The sound of the door crashing open startles everyone. Before anyone can do anything, he’s shooting randomly all over, and in 2 minutes, he’s gone.

“Lily was on the ground. She was in a pool of blood. He shot her 6 times; 2 of them hit her left lung. I tried to stop the bleeding, but it was no use. Her lungs were filling up with blood. Her beautiful face was covered in blood. She was scared. I could tell because of the way her eyes looked. She would get that look when she was scared. Lucy laid her head on my shoulder. She had been shot once, between her chest and shoulder. I remember Lily’s eyes starting to shut. I remember saying, ‘Come on, Lily, keep your eyes open for me. Keep them open.’ I remember her last words so clearly: ‘Y/N, it’s okay. It’s okay. Go be a superstar, win all the trophies. Don’t give up on your dream.’ There was another round of shots. The color in her eyes was gone. She was gone.”

“No, no, no, Lily, don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” Armed police rush through the door. “Everyone show hands.”

“I don’t really remember much about how I got from the classroom to the ambulance. I remember the paramedic saying that I had been shot 3 times. I didn’t even know that I had been shot. I was in shock. I remember the sirens. I remember them asking questions, getting wheeled into the ER. I was next to Lucy. I remember her heart monitor. I didn’t know what it meant except that she was alive. Within 2 minutes of being there, she flatlined. They tried to get her back, but they couldn’t. 14:25 was her time of death. A piece of the bullet had made its way to her heart. They were dead, and I wasn’t. After that, I turned to self-harm and other things. I wanted to be with them. It wasn’t until about 2 months after it all that it sank in that I had lost my twin sister and my first love in the same day