#Marinette’s Chinese heritage is definitely shining in this story

[redtippedfox]

All characters in this AU are aged up and adults

Well we can all guess who won the Poll! Here’s the new version of Celine Titania! I cleaned her up a bit and now she’s all ready to go! Now Celine Titania looks immobile and vulnerable but she isn’t, in fact she has more knives and sharp objects to stab you with than Titania does.

Also she has sharp long nails so be very careful when trying to attack, she can fight back. Just like Titania’s and Bleu Celines dress her bottom part can be torn off for combat. She can strangle you with her see through shawl and her shoes hurt when kicked with. She always has her fan covering her mouth as she speaks to her senticreatures or her champions, it also hides the mouth that knows all secrets of the future.

Also her roses are definitely a symbolism.

I’m gonna be honest, this was a small doodle that turned into something really pretty, I was a bit upset that Celine Titania’s original design had no Chinese aspect to it because I could never figure out how to design something that added both parts of both Miraculouses. But I took OG Celine Titania’s colors and mixed it with this doodle. I really like it and am FINALLY satisfied with it.

Not all Miraculous designs are going to be Chinese themed unless they are unified with the peacock and butterfly and we will definitely be seeing more main seven unifications since I’ve decided that those should just be the main Miraculouses Marinette uses instead of using the Chinese zodiac ones(Because we still have the power ups and that just is too much designing man). Don’t worry the rabbit, mouse, dragon, and snake will be seen and used but only those ones.

Anyway I’m home for Christmas break so chapter 4 will be updated soon!

[inkjackets]

A Matter of Ac-ceptance Ch4  Who We Want to Be - Part 1

Apologies for taking forever to get this update out.

This chapter was getting too long and so I decided to split it into two chapters, so yes there will be one more chapter to come out after this.

If you'd like some background music while reading, listen to this song, I listened to it on repeat while writing and also happens to be inspiration for the title.

Also I didn’t realise it was ml angst week, but this chapter ties in perfectly with day 6 confessions/reveal (I know I didn’t intend for this story to have angst but I can’t help it!! Sorry).

Read on AO3 here

Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch5 Epilogue

Chat Noir flew across the rooftops of Paris. He was trying his best to outrun his confusing emotions and, for a moment, it worked. The exhilaration, adrenaline and shock from the cool, fresh air forced everything out of his mind.

After dropping Marinette off at the bakery, Adrien had sprinted home (with a bag of pastries her family had forced on him, not that he had complained), had had a hasty dinner (with Nathalie standing over his shoulder, no father in sight), and then paced up and down his bedroom in slight disarray, glancing every so often at his Valentine's gift for Ladybug sitting on the shelf. He had been debating whether or not to confess his love to Ladybug tonight, for real this time, not as a passing joke. However, there was also the added conflict as to whether to reveal his asexuality or not at the same time. Plagg had been no help in solving the dilemma. In the end, he had decided there was no time like the present and, if he was going to put himself through the torture of ripping off one plaster, he might as well rip the second one off too. And so he ran. But the strange mixture of dread and excitement couldn’t be outrun. The swirling emotions crept into his stomach and chewed him up from the inside as he drew near the rendezvous point.

 Chat came to a stop a few rooftops away from Ladybug. He saw her silhouette lit up by the sparkling city lights. She stood out brilliantly against the dark evening sky, like a bright red rose shining in the moonlight. Chat watched her a moment as she stood gazing over the city they both loved and protected, pigtails fluttering in a slight breeze. For some reason, Chat's mind turned to Marinette. Earlier that day when they had been sitting by the river he had stolen a glance at her. She had looked so peaceful, leaning back with her eyes closed, specks of sunlight glistening on her hair and eyelashes. Her aura of tranquillity had seeped into him and, for the first time in a long time, he had felt free from judgement, the weight of his life had been momentarily lifted off his shoulders. In other words, sitting with Marinette in the warmth by the river, it had made him feel safe. He realised it was the same emotion he felt whenever he was with Ladybug. A small but warm smile grew. He half-wished he could return Marinette’s love for him, she was such a sweet girl. Chat’s eyes refocused on the beautiful mysterious girl waiting for him. But his heart was taken. Chat clutched his gift tightly and leapt down to meet his lady, leaving that little bit of regret behind to float away into the night sky.

 Chat's smile widened when Ladybug turned to face him, a smile in her eyes.

"Sorry I'm late, Milady," he bowed deeply, one hand on his chest and the other outstretched to the side, "I was helping out a friend," he tilted his head up towards Ladybug and flashed her a signature Chat Noir grin.

“Mmmhmm?” Ladybug crossed her arms and flashed a flirty smile of her own, “And who is this friend of yours?”

“My Lady! Just what are you suggesting?” Chat exclaimed with mock horror, “You are the only lady for me,” he jumped to his knees and held out his little package for her, “A perfect present for a purr-fect partner." A small part of him cringed deep down, he had wanted to make what he said sound genuine this time.

Ladybug threw back her head and laughed. Despite the slight discomfort that he wasn’t being taken seriously, Chat felt pleasure thrum through him at her reaction, he loved making her smile.

Ladybug took the present and grabbed his hand to pull him up, "Silly kitty," she shook her head with a smile. Chat winked.

“Here I’ve got a small present for you too,” she picked up a paper bag off the ground that he hadn’t noticed before and handed it to him. The wonderful smell hit him instantly. His ears perked and tail swished with excitement as he opened the bag, “Cookies!” he exclaimed, “They smell absolutely a-meow-zing!” 

“I should hope so!” said Ladybug, rolling her eyes at Chat’s pun but grinning nonetheless, “they’re fresh out the oven, baked by yours truly.” She gave a little curtsey of her own and chat laughed. 

"You shouldn't have."

“I couldn’t not,” she retorted, “especially since I knew you’d definitely bring me something,” she delicately turned the small box over in her hands.

Chat turned his attention away from the cookies and watched as Ladybug picked at the ribbon. His tail slowed in it’s swishing as anxiety took over. He hoped the present was appropriate, but he knew he had gone overboard. Better that way round that the other though.

Ladybug gasped as soon as she opened the box. She glanced at Chat with wide eyes before looking back at the gift.

“Chat,” Ladybug’s voice was breathless with wonder,

“I just want to say,” Chat quickly interjected before Ladybug could say anything, “that I know we don’t really know much about each other’s personal lives because,” he gestured at his mask, “identities and stuff, but you’ve mentioned your heritage a couple of times before and as soon as I saw this I knew I had to get it for you, and…” Chat hesitated, “well, I’m sorry if I’m wrong,” he raised his shoulders apologetically and looked at the floor, “but, I just think it’s beautiful,” he glanced back up to meet Ladybug’s eyes boring into his, “and a beautiful woman deserves beautiful things.” Ladybug’s expression shifted ever so slightly into one of surprise. Chat had called her many things before, pretty, charming, good-looking, but never beautiful.

“Chat,” she breathed once more, “It’s gorgeous.” From the box, she pulled out an ornately adorned Chinese hair pin. The stick of the pin was a delicate twisted silver, and at the end were mother-of-pearl flowers and jade leaves. It was decorated with silver studded jewels, both on the flowers and dangling down on delicate chains. Finally, nestled amongst the flowers, were some gorgeously carved, vivid, ruby red ladybirds. They stood out strikingly against the pale icy colours of the jade, silver and mother-of-pearl.

“You like it?” asked Chat.

"I love it!" He beamed at her reply. "But I can't accept it,"

Chat’s heart missed a beat, “What?”

"Where did you get it? It must have cost a fortune!"

Chat dismissed her question with a wave of his hand, “I have my ways.” 

In actuality, Adrien had spied it at a fashion show his father had dragged him to and had begged his father to buy it from the designer fresh off the catwalk, but he wasn't about to tell Ladybug that. 

"And don't worry about cost, you deserve it." Chat gave a small smile, he knew he wasn't acting entirely Chat-like, but he wanted to be sincere.

Ladybug closed the box, “Thank you,” she said softly.

“Shall we have some cookies?” Chat lifted the bag and grinned.

Ladybug returned the smile and nodded. They sat down and both happily munched away whilst watching the twinkling lights of the city.

“‘Eese are oh goo!” Chat exclaimed after shoving another whole cookie in his mouth,

Ladybug blinked before bursting out laughing, “What did you say?”

Chat hastily swallowed, “These are so good!”

“Crazy cat,” Ladybug muttered, but Chat saw the grin in her eyes.

Neither of them said anything for a while after that, they simply enjoyed each other’s company, the sweetness of the cookies, and the wonder that is the city of love. Chat wondered when he should make his confession, or had he already missed his chance? Idiot, he should have done it when he gave her the present. Chat's heart rate increased and his palms grew clammy. He reached for another cookie and munched anxiously. 

“Hey, Chat?” the sound of Ladybug’s voice pulled him out of his mind.

“Hmm?” He looked at her, but her eyes were glazed over, staring at some distant memory.

“Do you,” she paused, her voice was soft and oddly dreamlike. “Do you ever feel like nobody could ever love you?”

Chat froze. His mind went numb. "What?" He put it down to coincidence. It was Valentine's Day after all, there's no way he was the only one feeling down about himself. 

“My friend asked me that question today and it just got me thinking.” Ladybug blinked her eyes back into focus. “It made me realise how lucky I am, I guess.” She drew her knees up and hugged them, “I’ve never asked myself that question in my life.”

"Oh," Chat didn't know what to say. He was still in slight shock from having that question sprung on him. He felt relief though that Ladybug didn't feel as lost as he often did, however there was a very small part of him that felt resentful.

“Chat? Are you alright?”

“Yes, why?”

“You’re frowning.”

“I’ve…. just got some things on my mind is all.”

Ladybug was quiet, “Okay then.”

The silence hung between them for a while, but then Ladybug spoke once more.

“Chat?”

“Yes?”

“Have…” she hesitated, “Have you ever felt like nobody could ever love you?”

Chat cast his eyes to the side, he didn’t want to lie to her, but neither could he bring himself to tell her the truth. “That’s kind of a personal question, don’t you think?”

Ladybug hugged her knees tighter, “Yes, I suppose it is.” Her eyes glazed over once more as her mind drifted off to a different time and place.

"You know, you kind of remind me of him," Ladybug continued after another stretch of silence, "my friend that is," she clarified, "sitting here, like this," she smiled at him. 

Chat still didn’t know what to say, so he reached for another cookie instead. 

“You sure do like cookies,”

Chat smiled, crumbs dotted around his mouth. Ladybug laughed.

“Thanks,” she said after her laughter died down.

"What for?" asked Chat, at a bit of a loss.

“For being a great friend, for being the purr-fect partner." She nudged him with her shoulder, a twinkle in her eye.

Chat gave a warm smile at the compliment, but he went cold deep inside. He swiftly shoved the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

“Hey!” Ladybug suddenly exclaimed, making Chat jump, “You’ve moved your ring,” she grabbed his hand and pulled it to her face, ignoring Chat’s yelp of distress.

“I swear it used to be on this finger?” she said. Her soft touch on his ring finger shot ice through his body.

Chat swallowed, “Yeah, it did,” he tried to sound confident. He honestly hadn’t thought anyone would have noticed such a small thing, but now two people had in one day.

“Why did you move it?”

Chat’s confident exterior wavered, “Uh, no reason.” He pulled his hand from her grip as his ears lay flat and tail curled anxiously.

Ladybug crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows, she nodded pointedly at his ears and tail, “Well obviously there’s a reason.”

Chat’s gut clenched, “Betrayed by the suit.” He grinned and rubbed the back of his neck, but he knew his discomfort was pretty blatant.

Ladybug’s brow knotted, both surprise and concern clear in her eyes. Chat’s tail curled a little tighter.

“You’re not acting like normal,” she said eventually. 

Chat lowered his hand. He knew he wasn’t acting like stereotypical Chat Noir, but his actions weren’t exactly abnormal either.

“How do you mean?”

Ladybug thought for a moment, "You seem uneasy, and usually when you're uneasy you'd dismiss it with a pun or comedic boast." Chat knew what she meant, but he cocked his head to the side anyway. "Oh, you know," Ladybug waved her hand as she tried to think of an example, "Bugaboo!" she cheekily leant forward in an imitation of Chat Noir, "Noticing something so small, one might think you were head over tails for me," she winked before immediately snapping back to her usual self, "Yeah, something like that."

Chat’s tail uncurled and his heart warmed, Ladybug really did know him well. She was right of course, any other time or day and he would have said something like that, but today was different.

“It’s because…” Chat felt anxiety crawl in his stomach. He didn’t know if he could do this. Chat Noir was his persona that allowed him to be free of vulnerabilities, free of judgement and scorn. Confessing his love and asexuality to Ladybug, that made him vulnerable.

He stood up as the anxiety started to claw at his stomach, big painful scratches. He didn’t know what to do.

“Chat?” Ladybug said, her voice laced with concern. She stood up too and placed her hand on his shoulder, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Chat bit his lip. That was the thing, he did want to tell her.

Chat closed his eyes and cast his mind back to earlier that day, sitting with Marinette in the sunshine. He recalled that peace he had felt with her, the likes of which he hadn't felt in a long time. He smiled as he remembered her blunt confession. Chat snapped his eyes open, if she could do it, he could do it too.

Chat faced Ladybug, eyes blazing. “I love you, Ladybug!” Ladybug’s eyes widened. “I love you more than a friend, or a partner, I love you, I want to be with you, and I know we have secret identities and don’t truly know each other, but honestly? Ever since I first met you I’ve known, trust me I’ve known, that I will love whoever it is under that mask," his voice grew soft, "if only you'll let me."

Ladybug removed her hand from his shoulder and took a step back, “Chat-“

"However," Chat cut her off, he needed to rip off the second plaster while the adrenaline was still flowing through his veins, "there's something about me which would put off a lot of people," his voice grew hesitant, "which will probably put off you." 

Ladybug’s brow furrowed, “Chat, you know that could never happen.”

Chat clenched his jaw and swallowed back the lump in his throat, he had to get this out now or else he never would, but it was a lot harder than he had thought it would be. He gritted his teeth as all the confusion, uncertainty, and helplessness caused by his asexuality surged inside him. All the gut-wrenching emotions built up until he could take the pressure no more and they came pouring out.

"Ladybug, I'm asexual!" Chat cried, voice cracking, "And I thought I had come to terms with it, but standing here right now, trying to confess to you, it's brought back so many emotions I don't want to feel and I just, I want to accept myself, I do, but it's just so damn hard! And knowing that literally the whole world is different, I," Chat choked, "it makes me feel so small and helpless and," a tear rolled down his cheek, "I just want to be accepted, Ladybug! But my father he," Chat shook his head, "and my mother," Chat slammed his hand on his mouth, "I…" his voice dropped to a horrified whisper, "I've got no one!"

Neither of them moved. Chat's words hung suspended in the air, he half wished he could snatch them back. He bit back the tears, but they fell despite his efforts.

All of a sudden he was encompassed by a warm embrace.

In a blink of an eye, Ladybug had leapt forward to hold him tight.

Chat didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t been held like this in a long time, not since his mother…

He wrapped his arms around her and relaxed into the hug. Emotion flowed between them, Ladybug lifted the heaviness from his heart and replaced it with ease, comfort and security. 

Chat clenched her tighter as tears flowed down his cheeks once more, this time with relief.

Ladybug gently pulled back and wiped the tears from Chat’s face, “Mon Chaton,” she murmured, “you will always have me.”

Chat sniffed, "Thank you," he whispered and wiped his eyes, however he could see the hesitation in Ladybug's expression, "What is it?" he asked.

“Please forgive me,” she said slowly, not quite meeting his eyes, “I can see you’re hurt but,” her bright blue eyes found his, “what’s an asexual?”

Chat’s breath stuck. He grabbed her hands and pulled them off his face, taking a step back as he did so, heaviness rushed back into his heart. All that pain of confessing and she didn't even know. Fatigue swept over him and an odd bubble of laughter welled inside him, to be honest he had half expected this might happen.

“Chat?” Ladybug asked with caution.

Chat took a deep breath and braced himself for the true confession, and consequently, Ladybug’s true reaction.

"The standard definition of asexual is someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction. Asexuals can be further split into romantics and aromantics, the latter being someone who doesn't experience romantic attraction. I fall under the former category, meaning I am asexual but also romantic, heteromantic to be precise, hetero because I only feel romantic attraction to the opposite sex." Chat said all this monotonously as he looking fixedly over the city of love. The irony didn't bypass him.

“A…sexual, and, hetero..heteromantic…?” Ladybug said slowly.

Chat heard her tripping over the words. Part of him felt a little bad about spewing all that terminology at her, but another part felt too tired to care.

“So…” Chat could practically hear Ladybug organising the thoughts in her head, “You say you don’t experience sexual attraction?”

Chat nodded

“That means… you don’t…?”

“I have no interest in sex,” said Chat bluntly. He felt drained. “Don't want it now, never have, never will.”

“You’ve got no interest at all?” She asked incredulously.

“Not a single drop,” he said with a weary voice.

“But have you ever…?”

“Never even kissed,”

“So how do you know?”

Chat went devoid of all emotion. Reading all those forum posts had prepared him for this moment, but the hurt still hit him hard. 

“No, wait! I’m sorry,” Ladybug waved her hands, “That was incredibly ignorant of me, if you say you know, then of course you know.”

Chat blinked, he hadn’t expected that response, “Thanks,” he gave a timid smile, “that’s understanding of you.”

“Yeah…” Ladybug’s unconvincing reply caused his face to fall once more. She frowned at him, “Can I ask you something?”

Chat hesitated before nodding.

“I just, I am confused on one thing. If you say you are, y’know, asexual," Chat saw the foreign word stick on her tongue, "then, what's with all the flirting?"

"What do you mean?" Chat rubbed his eyes, he felt a headache coming on.

“I mean…if you don’t like me in that way, then…”

“But I do like you in that way!” Chat exclaimed, “No, wait, that came out wrong.” His tail wrapped around his ankles, “What I mean is, I still love you,” he said softly, “I just don’t want to ever, you know, do it with you.”

“I see.” Ladybug fell silent.

Chat looked at the floor. He felt so tired, he just wanted to run back home and crawl under his bedcovers. He subconsciously started to twist the ring on his finger once more. He didn't notice Ladybug watching him.

“I’m assuming all this has something to do with the ring?” she asked eventually.

Chat’s head snapped up, he clenched his ring and index finger in his left hand.

“Yeah,” he said quietly, “it’s a little thing between us aces. Asexuals,” he added for clarification at Ladybug’s raised eyebrow. “Wearing a ring on your right middle finger,” he released his fingers from the grip of his left hand and raised his right hand to his face, “It’s usually black but, oh yeah, forgot it turns black when I’m transformed,” he gave a small smile and looked at Ladybug, but her eyes were glassy as she was lost in concentration. His smile dropped, “What?” he asked curtly.

“Does the ring have to be black?” she asked

"That's the most common," he said listlessly, "but purple white and grey work too, those are the ace colours."

Ladybug looked up and met his eyes, “Grey? So like…if it’s jewellery, then silver?”

Chat shifted his stance, he felt a little uneasy but wasn’t entirely sure why. “Sure, I guess, why?”

Ladybug smiled a sad little smile, “I think I might have a classmate who’s asexual.”

"Oh?"

“Yeah, he has this silver ring that he usually wears on the ring finger of his right hand, but just today I saw he’d moved it to his middle finger and…” She abruptly cut off and peered at Chat’s ring. Immediately he lowered his hand and put it behind his back, out of sight.

This small movement caused a spark of recognition to flicker behind Ladybug's eyes. What the recognition was, Chat didn't know, but it made him incredibly uncomfortable.

“Ladybug?” he questioned cautiously.

“Chat, what’s the colour of your ring when you’re a civilian?”

Chat’s body went numb, his eyes darted, “Why does that matter?”

“Is it Silver?” he didn’t answer her, “Chat! Is it silver?”

Chat didn’t respond, but neither did he meet her eyes.

In a horrified whisper, Ladybug said one word which made Chat Noir’s blood run cold,

"Adrien?"

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