#Marcus is in a bit of a paradox which is why he's a little contradictory sometimes

[pocket-void]

Hi, I was wondering if you could talk a little (or a lot) about Marcus' relationship with c!thomas? (no pressure if you dont want to of course) Thanks either way!

Anon, I will literally always talk a lot about anything given the chance. Especially if it’s something I made, so it’s what you’re getting! Hope that’s ok with ya. o///o (Do keep in mind that this is also my version of c!Thomas since I’m making stuff up for it)

Marcus has a very one sided relationship with c!Thomas, and it’s not purely anyone’s fault that it became that way. It was actually kind of inevitable.

Growing up, Marcus considered himself a warrior and Thomas’ defender. He wasn’t a hero or knight like Roman, but he was a diligent and loyal soldier. Nobody was going to hurt Thomas and get away with it! He’ll make sure of it! Kids get huffy and mad and fight all the time, and that’s was all him. It’s his job to make sure Thomas was being treated fairly and gets what he deserves!

Why does that kid get to play with your toy? Why do you have to go to bed early? Why are we stuck in this classroom when it’s so nice outside? Why are you getting detention when you did nothing wrong? Every irritated thought and frustrated circumstance is just him trying to push Thomas to fight for better treatment. (In whatever way kids think is “fair” ^///^)

Marcus wants the best for Thomas, just like any of the other sides. He always has, and still does! He’s willing to fight tooth and nail for him! But eventually his way of doing things just wasn’t considered “good” anymore. Slowly he started getting told that throwing tantrums was childish, getting angry was irrational, being insulted wasn’t a big deal and that he was overreacting to things. Was he actually sometimes? Sure, maybe, but there was no way he was wrong, right...? Things weren’t fair and he was just trying to fix it, what’s wrong with that?

The problem was that he was going to get Thomas hurt too. Thomas became more and more unsure about himself as he grew older. At some point you can’t just start fights anymore. At some point getting angry just got you into more trouble. At some point you start wondering what getting angry all the time said about you. At some point you don’t think being angry is justified anymore. Maybe you were in the wrong, maybe is wasn’t as bad as you’re making it out to be. At some point anger became a bad thing. And so, inevitably, Marcus also became a bad thing. He wasn’t a chivalrous knight or a dependable father figure, he was a warrior, and now he no longer had any wars to fight. So, he was eventually shut down and repressed.

Marcus cares for Thomas, but he’s also mad at Thomas for abandoning him. For just pushing him away. For pretending as if he didn’t exist. It’s really affected him, actually. Way more than he’d ever admit, because Thomas is one of the most important people in his life. (He’s part of him, after all) It hurts to think that everything about him is bad for Thomas. Can you imagine if your mere existence was somehow bad for someone? He knows that he takes things too far sometimes, so in a way he’s aware that he has to be kept in check, but nobody has ever helped him with that. It’s effected him so much because at the end of the day he’s also a crucial part of Thomas: Self respect.

It’s different from self care, and it’s more than just self worth. It’s knowing that you are and should be someone who matters not only to yourself, but others too. It’s knowing that no matter how much you love and care about someone, you don’t deserve to be treated poorly by them. That even if you were a failure or unsuccessful, doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve to be treated like a god damn person. Getting mad at someone who has wronged you is a justified emotion. It’s ok to be angry at people. It’s how you manage it afterwards that matters.

But nobody’s managed Marcus, he’s just kind of been set aside until he’s forgotten about. He needs Thomas to work with him if anything’s going to be resolved. Just like any other side! But that’s not how things are right now. Right now, he’s just another aspect that been kept hidden away. Thomas would be afraid of him because he appears destructive and out of control. And he definitely can be, but at the end of the day he, just like the other sides, just wants the best for Thomas in his own way.

There’s a lot of interconnected reasons with the other sides behind their exact relationship, but I’ll say this: Patton plays a big role in it. I’ll go into that some other day, but I’m sure you can probably see where Pat is involved. There’s some other stuff I thought about talking about but I wasn’t sure how to word it so I think I’ll stop here for now akjfnkef. >///<