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syrips · 1 year ago

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hello im gonna pin this post

hello my name is Syrips, im a super duper simp and simp/self-insert enabler for others who love strahd or any cos/ravenloft/fictional characters

im 28, but i sometimes say im thirty as a vague response because its easier and faster to say (or safer to say to strangers)

i think i am autistic but i am currently only self-diagnosed; i plan to tell my doctors once i compile a binder of reasons why i think im autistic based on noted events in my childhood, behavior, and my reflected perspective on things in pages of charts and text which is a totally neurotypical thing to do

im genderfluid and i am fine with any and all pronouns (different people may use different/changing/fluid pronouns on me, i am completely fine with this)

im polyamorous and pansexual/panromantic, i gush over games that have polyamory/pan options!!

i have huge CoS/Ravenloft spoilers so please, PLEASe do not enter unless you are fine with being spoiled with all kinds of content. i also wont explain what is or isnt 'canon' because, well, some things may be canon for one person, while potential/not-canon for another, so i really cannot confirm or deny it myself.. ask your DM for confirmation! (and for my players who are here, hehe, goodluck figuring it out!)

i do music, art, crafting, and streaming sometimes, here is my linktree: https://linktr.ee/syrips

please 'ask'/message/send me any and all of your curse of strahd and/or ravenloft works of art! this can include these and more!:

playlists

moodboards

art/portfolio/link to your art or artblog

pages of your OC/PC/dnd lore (both player and DM welcome)

campaign/session notes and storytime

canon and potential-/home-/head-canon dumps

narrations/imagines/ao3/google docs/fanfic/fic writings

cool crafts!!

i crave it more than strahd craves blood, please and thank you!

you can also send me stuff and let me know if you want me to gush/simp over it, provide advice, or simply acknowledge it (publicly or privately)! let me know in advance cuz i dont want to make you uncomfortable with what you share

i have no limits on triggering fictional content, just make sure to tw it properly if it is sensitive content for others

my Ask thingy is always open, i may ramble alot if i get passionate enough though so be warned! hehe

ok goodbye ill edit or change this whenever idk

Edit Entry 1 - 11th Moon, 2023

for context, keita/raze (he/him) is my irl partner. he's been a simp for alucard (castlevania) longer than i've begun simping for strahd. i only discovered this years into the relationship when we watched castlevania (where i expected to be a bigger simp for castlevania), and instead HE made high pitch simping noises as alucard appeared on the screen and i was like -sus eyes- wait a GOSH DARN MINUTE-. also, keita has a thing for necks. i shrugged it off when he first told me, but years later i started simping for strahd and now i look back at that moment like 'hm. odd.-'. anyways, i mostly started dating him because he sounds like a kermit the frog southern guy who goes 'howdy howdy' and he says 'i should be golden' unironically and i think thats pretty funny

i tag stuff as #making a keita tag so when keita presses this he can see all the stuff that he likes so that i can organize stuff and incase he ever decides to poke around my blog and use this tag search within my blog

Edit Entry 2 and 3 - 12th Moon, 2023

syrips OC/PC list (loosely alphabetical)

Other People's Adored OC/PC list (loosely alphabetical)

Edit Entry 4 - 7th Moon, 2024

hi huge warning that im fucking WEIRD. like i know people may enjoy the idea of me for entertainment/indulgence purposes but please please. if you ask/tell me to do something, i will 90%-chance take it seriously and respond bluntly/directly. please take my warnings seriously and please please interact with me responsibly!!

and i already know some would be like, 'oh syrips people always say that. they wanna act unique/special by calling themselves weird'. like. thats fair if people dont believe that but please dont be surprised when freakos start feeling more comfortable/vulnerable around you and you become shocked. like. stop trying to shame/blame freakos for what they've warned since the beginning. please, it's hurtful and disrespectful.

my asks are always open, be as blunt/direct as you want. most of my cws will be with "cw: " before it. let me know if you want me to cw tag something!

i use the #be cringe be free tag for weirdos/freakos/happy/indulgent stuff. this can include stuff that isnt 'cringe', and/or cringe we embrace. it's okay to be cringe. it's okay to say cringe culture is dead. it's okay to not see things as cringe. it's okay to embrace the cringe. it's okay to indulge, to be your favorite version of you. it's okay to indulge, even if it's unfamiliar/scary. i use the tag for moments of doing what makes you happy, regardless if youre unfamiliar with that indulgent feeling. be cringe be free!!

#syrips pc #will edit as needed

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itsanidiom · 9 months ago

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SHIPPER TAG GAME

LET'S GOOOOO~ tagged by @negrowhat

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

Glorestor or Glorfindel / Erestor of Middle Earth Fanon Fame. Not that I don't CARE about it anymore, mind you. There's just not enough new content (for obvious reasons god it's old and there's like one conversation of original source material). I don't think about them as much anymore. Like I used to be reading fanfic EVERY NIGHT and we're talking like novel length fanfics (as you can imagine people in the LOTR fandom write lol). Anyway here's some super old fan art... (>u<)

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Oh god...something Dynasty Warriors related for sure...

Probably like Sun Ce / Zhao Yu or Gan Ning / Lu Xun. (GO WU! lol) I feel like there were other couples I'm totally forgetting right now...but yeah god I love Dynasty Warriors...

Also...daaamn Gan Ning looks good there I should go buy the latest game. (>w<)

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Like the first one I wrote or read?? I went into my oldest of old "old writing" folders and found this list of docs that I haven't been touched in over ten years. SO I'm gonna saaaay it was a Dynasty Warriors fanfic...one of these pairings. (^ ^;)

Also kind of hilarious to see that I literally still organize my fanfic files in the same way for over half my fucking life ago...nice...

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

I feel like it would have been something Inuyasha related. That or something Final Fantasy X. I do not remember, but it was probably some version of these scene.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Not that I can remember...do not need this in my life...lol but maybe I've reblogged some RPF like discourse? Like the "should or shouldn't you ship" type discussions. I'm on the side of "do whatever you want but don't send it to the famous people" [ex. like ATEEZ fanfic/fanart] or "if they are literally doing it as part of their promo go ahead, it's for fun/they literally requested it as part of their promo" [ex. BillyBabe]. (^ ^;)

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

It honestly always depends on the quality of the fanart or the fanfic because even a notp can turn into a OH!tp if it's good enough. [Exhibit a: my Phaya/Tharn/Chalothorn fanfic]

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Weirdly the one new Chalothon/Singh fic from The Sign. But I really need AO3 to fix the spelling of his name in the tag...

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

PhayaTharn are the current obsession~

Look at them...adorable...

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Still wish John Wick / Santino fucked...also like James Bond / Q and The Protagonist / Neil and Arthur / Eames...bromance is SUCH a waste but considering the genres of these movies it is never gonna happen...I have to wait for the Thai BL versions lol (^ ^;)

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

OH I haven't been traumatized by watched it yet, but Dead Friends Forever has made me get onboard with Macau/Chay of KinnPorsche fame because OMG LOOK AT THESE CUTIES!!!!

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

GOD I remember there was a LOT of Sesshomaru x Inuyasha yaoi when I was a kid LMFAO like...straight up cancelled...I dunno if it was normal back then but no yaoi was normal back then so like it sadly all got lumped together or something...then again looking at some of the comics that are coming out these days...

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

All the McFassy ships from back in the day like OMG REMEMBER JUNGKOV?? STELIOS AND LETO??? ARCHIE AND ROBBIE? SO MANY CROSSOVERS!!

LOL Sorry that just brought me back LOL

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

Ahhhh I don't know...I usually either write a lot or read a lot...I literally have a fic rec list for Glorestor lol and then when I look in my AO3 bookmarks the top ship is Hannigram sooooo let's say Hannigram even though I haven't read one for a while.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

toll and smol...i like me a toll and a smoll...lol or big and small...i dunno something something contrast something something just crush him and/or be uncharacteristically gentle or somehow incapacitate the larger man with your wiles...that is all...

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Miscommunication < seconding @negrowhat's response. Cannot stand it. Such a boring trope. Very annoying for me (the audience).

#ALL THE SHIPS #my ships #felt like a weird a journey into my past #lol #tag meme #get to know me

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jedi-enthusiast · 1 year ago

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For the fanfic ask game: 💖 👀 🥺 🤲 🥰 (sorry I know that's a lot LOL feel free to pick and choose!)

The ask game <3

Oh no don’t apologize! I love people asking a bunch of questions because I love rambling about my fics!

💖- What made you start writing?

I have two answers for this question, since I actually stopped writing a while ago and then got back into it.

I first started writing in general because I was primarily a Wattpad user (I had no idea Ao3 existed, but give me a break I was like 13) and I was reading fan fiction for a manga/anime series called Kuroshitsuji or Black Butler and I just wanted a heroine reader like me.

Most of the "readers" or "ocs" in those fics didn't really stand up for themselves and often let the guy characters walk all over them--or they would be referred to as "badass" but were never really given a chance to be badass. And, at the time, they were also mostly blonde haired/blue eyed.

So I started writing because I wanted a heroine reader that stood up for herself and didn't take anyone's shit and was actually badass on paper--and who had brown hair and eyes like me. I actually still have the full outline of the fic I was working on, and a draft of the prologue, and here are two commissions I bought for my oc:

I did eventually stop writing for a while, though, because I was just tired of writing and rewriting and rewriting (the outline and draft I have currently is my 3rd rewrite of the entire thing, 4th if you count the other completely different version of it--I get very nitpicky with my fics sometimes).

What got me back into writing was actually you. I started reading "Shoulder the Sky" and I saw how much work you had put in and how passionate you were about your fic and I just...got inspired. I already had an outline for The Great War sitting in my Google Docs (from back when I first got into Star Wars) and I basically decided "fuck it, if they can do then so can I, I'm gonna start writing again" and I did, and now I have two fics ongoing and several in the works that I can't wait to get to.

👀- Tell me about an up and coming WIP!

Ok, one of my WIPs that I'm working on (that I hope to start writing soon, once I finish the outline) is a Modern!AU called "Deeper Roots."

Basically Cody and Obi-Wan are high school sweethearts who have had a long-distance relationship for over a decade now, since Obi-Wan had to move away from their town when he got custody of his siblings (Anakin, Ahsoka, and Reva) from their father (Qui-Gon) due to family issues.

Well, Obi-Wan and Cody decide that he should move back to town since Anakin will be starting college soon (he's 21, but took a gap year and then waited since he had an accident that took his arm) and the college of his choice is nearby + Ahsoka wants to go to that same college + they all miss Cody a lot and want to see him more.

Only one problem. Cody hasn't come out to his family and they have no idea he's dating someone, let alone that he has a boyfriend and that he's--for all intents and purposes--technically a father of three. They all try to keep things a secret from his family still, but things obviously get a whole lot more complicated once the two sides of Cody's life start to intermingle.

(also, I think Reva should be incorporated into their family in Modern!AU fics more often, I think she'd make a great youngest child)

🥺- Is there a certain moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Ok, slight spoilers for BCC, but one interaction that always makes me emotional when I start to think about it is this one line that I have planned for the end of BCC.

Basically Obi-Wan and Cody are hiding away in a storage room after a hard battle and Obi-Wan says something about "not wanting to be High General Kenobi."

So Cody says that they don't have to be Commander and General. That, when it's just them, "they can just be Obi-Wan and Cody."

👐- Would you please share a snippet of a WIP?

Nothing else is really written yet, so here's a snippet of the next chapter of Bloodshed, Crimson Clover:

The Force sparked restlessly under Obi-Wan’s skin as he stared at the empty holomap in front of him, eyes searching it for the readouts of a battle that hadn’t happened yet—or, rather, was happening, but just out of reach. He could look away. Attempt to meditate, or finish last mission’s report, or do something more productive with his time, but the near-blinding blue light of the blank screen had already seared itself into his mind and he knew that, even if he walked away, it would follow him.

So he stayed.

Staring.

He hesitantly reached out along his and Anakin’s Force Bond, gently pushing forward the memory of Crys announcing they were only fifteen minutes out and an impression of– you? Them? Safe?

Part of him didn’t expect Anakin to respond, and another part of him dreaded that very fact, but—as always—Anakin was full of surprises. He was quickly hit with a twin pair of waves, harsh impressions of impatience and frustration that burned the back of his throat, and their corresponding memories—one of the 501st’s Star Cruisers disappearing in a flash of fire and smoke, a supply ship they were escorting quickly succumbing to the same fate, Anakin’s admiral informing him that they couldn’t hold out much longer.

The taste of ash felt thick and heavy on his tongue, and it took him a moment to recover from the sheer intensity of it all—although he was careful to keep his expression devoid of any emotion. Anakin was strong in the Force, but that meant he often forgot to take into consideration how his power might affect those around him. Obi-Wan was used to it, however, so he was able to disperse the effects quickly enough, and the emotions that followed were all his own.

🥰- How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

*cough* ahem.

I love getting questions about my fic and I love getting comments and people talking about it--all of it just makes me so happy! I love my fic and I love to see people loving it too!

#thank you so much for the questions!#sending you all my love <3 #ask game #star wars #ao3 fanfic #codywan fanfic #codywan #fanfic #obi wan kenobi #commander cody

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canarydarity · 10 months ago

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howdy! it's day 1 of MCYT fanfic appreciation week, and i was wondering if you had any future writing projects or other ideas that you wanted an excuse to talk about :D no pressure whatsoever to answer this ask, just thought i'd reach out ♡

HI :')) this absolutely made my day to receive, and also served as reminder to me that yesterday was that events start day!!! so thank you for that!!!!

i will always always always take an excuse to talk about the fic ideas that are rotting my brain <3

I'm going to talk about 3 projects; 1) yet another DL rancher one-shot 2) my current brain rot go to: speed racer au 3) and a worm tried and true classic: gay baseball au

cut here because....i am a rambler

I'll start with what y'all are most likely to see next,,,

After the second session of Limlife came out, I wrote a little vignette from Tango's pov that included a throw-away scene from DL where someone left a golden apple on the ranchers porch in the middle of the night as an extremely un-funny joke. And that. idea has haunted me since I thought of it,,, I outlined it months and months ago though never got around to writing it... but for some reason a few days ago I opened that doc again and it just sorta. happened.

it's only about halfway done right now, but if all goes well it might be up by the end of the week :)) small preview mayhaps:

The door not yet having been opened, the possibility of what was waiting for him on the other side yawned and stretched towards endless. In a way, not knowing but speculating was worse than just opening the damn thing and facing the one singular scenario that was, but that was why he struggled to do it. Schrodinger’s danger—this was stupid; Tango opened the door. No one was there. He blinked in the face of its emptiness for a moment. Of all the situations he had considered, absolutely zero of them included opening the door to nothing. The one definite thing a knock spoke to was the presence of someone—something. So, what, they risked the middle of the night in peace times to come to the ranch they all loved barging into any time regardless to ding-dong ditch? That seemed, like, a gazillion times more unlikely.

---

Then...the thing that is currently carving out its home in my brain...speed racer au. Tango-centric, more tango & etho angst than it is team rancher tbh.

The au is based solely on the 2008 movie speed racer, not as much the rest of the franchise! I guess /warning for speed racer spoilers, but the movie came out 16 years ago and the anime is from the 1960's...............so like.............also come on

I...have absolutely 0 clue how to describe to you the plot of speed racer. imagine you drive a race car so good and look so hot while doing it that you take down the mafia AND defeat the evil that is capitalism. That's speed racer. Like most worm aus its...not a comprehensive story. it's mainly me taking scenes from the movie that i adore and reimagining them with life series characters in those positions.

Tango is our titular character, an up and coming, widely known and celebrated automobile racer. He's the only racer not sponsored by some big company, he'd rather his pals—his family—be in control of his car, the Mach 5, and his racing career.

This is so so silly to try to explain you have no idea. I'm just going to say it. So when Tango was a kid, his older brother Etho died in this really dangerous unofficial non-track race thing. Two years later, theres a new racer in the league calling himself Racer X. No one knows his actual identity, and, at all times, he is wearing this. mask. thing. umm. anyway so Racer X is secretly Tango's older brother who Tango thinks is dead. And he now races under a secret identity because he is trying to take down. the fucking mafia. who own a whole bunch of racing teams and do crime and things. cause why not. Im going to stop over-explaining speed racer, just take this snippet and go:

“Look, can we cut the bullshit?” If Tango’s mounting poor mood had any effect on X, he didn’t show it. He maintained the stillness of a wildlife photographer, danger not a warning to flee but more the promise of a shot worth sticking around to capture. Tango had felt studied since they’d cut the engines, since X’s head had popped up over the wheel, smirking—but now he’d felt seized. “Alright.” His mouth opened, all the energy to press on but none of the gall. As usual, he’d gotten too ahead of himself; clutch pressed to the floor, shift it into first gear, every intention to move with no promise to follow through. He didn’t ease off the clutch so much as he ran away from it; he’d stalled, his mouth shut dumbly. There wasn’t the time to wait it out, and Tango didn’t think he’d afford it to himself if there were. This moment had been promised to him since Casa Cristo began. He might not have then, but standing here now he knew it to be true. He thought X knew it, too—this was inevitable. He knew it like you knew you had minutes before your mom found that thing that you broke, like you knew someone was about to walk away from you for good. It was no less natural to him than knowing he was going to be a driver, no harder to glean from his future than being able to picture Jimmy by his side. He wouldn’t squander the chance because he hadn’t been adequately prepared for it to arrive. Tango choked, “Etho?” “You think I’m your brother.” When he said it it was a statement, not a question. “Aren’t you?”

---

And lastly...gay baseball au :')) or rather, "against all odds"

yes I'm still stuck on that, YES I plan to keep writing it.

I posted a little bit ago,, beginning of January, that I wanted to post the first chapter of baseball au if possible around/on my birthday, which is the first week in March. I can't PROMISE that will happen, because I am working on grad school applications at the moment and I also. know myself. and want to have the UTMOST MAJORITY POSSIBLE of the writing done before I post it. otherwise. I won't go back. But...tentatively that is hopefully the plan <3

Once again: plot summary, snippets

Have another for free :))

“What about you, Jim Jam?” Jimmy frowned at Skizz, only somewhat confused and mostly sure that he shouldn’t have been. “What about me?” “The question—what would you do if you weren’t doing this?” With clarity came even more confusion. It had felt normal for the others to ponder what-ifs and other lives where they did other things, a rightness that immediately soured when the spotlight had shone on him. There were no alternate versions of Jimmy, this was the only one in existence; he was a model toy that had never made it off the drawing board, no plans for mass production—too little consumer interest. “Oh…I dunno.” He thought baseball might be the only thing he was capable of, and even then that didn’t mean he was good at it. “I’d never thought about it, I guess.”

Anyway, I will exhibit exemplary self control and stop talking now. Thank you again so so much for asking <33

#worm says #pastelitey #MCYT fanfic appreciation week #i know this was yseterday but i didnt have time ti answer it when I received it last night ajgfhak i hope this is okay #thank you also os much for the reminder this event started this week.......ive pulled up the list of prompts I gotta join in

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stillpreoccupiedwith1985 · 11 months ago

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BTTF Year-End Tag Game!

I was tagged by @cheriboms! Thanks for the tag!

How many times would you guess you watched the first back to the future movie?

Ummm let’s see, I may say about 4 or 5, I forgot. However, I did go and watch it in theaters this year!

Did you get any sweet bttf merch? If so, what!

Okay so I hyperfixated this year and when that happens I start collecting. I got my Loungefly bag from 707 Street (still available!), the Lego DeLorean, a Marty Pop to go with my Doc that I had forever, and a Back to the Future cookbook.

How many cans of Pepsi Free did you chug this year?

None, the only Pepsi I like is Wild Cherry (and better than Cherry Coke). I am more of a Dr. Pepper girl.

What was a favorite bttf fanfic you read this year?

Again hyperfixated, so I devour fan works! One that I go back to is I Jump Off And Into Your Arms (But I Don’t Trust the Fall) by Goddess of Confusion

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49698481/chapters/125443009#workskin

Also It's a beautiful thing (two out of three ain't bad) by @penny-anna https://archiveofourown.org/works/50192956

I am a sucker for wing fics, but I also really love all of Penny’s works!

A favorite bttf fanart you saw this year? (please give us a link, not a screencap/repost!)

All of @future-boi’s work! Also the Animations that @cheriboms makes (especially the one with the audio from Bluey, Cheri you need to do one with the audio of Bandit saying ‘It was the 80’s!’ 😉)

Did you create any bttf fanart or fanfic? If you did, what one(s) are you proudest of?

I am currently working on a multi chapter fic that is a crossover with the podcast called The Bright Sessions, where Marty is getting therapy.

But I have made a one shot called Maybe We Should Get Married in the Chapel O’Love https://archiveofourown.org/works/51528580

It isn’t the greatest fic, mostly I wanted to get my thoughts down and I wanted tooth rotting fluff of Marty and Jennifer.

How many times were you late for school this year?

Okay so I am a teacher! Now we are contracted to be at the school at a certain time and pick/meet the students at a certain time. Have I been late for the contracted time this year? Yes, many times. Was I ever late getting the students? Never.

Did you watch any other movies/tv shows with BTTF actors in them?

SO MUCH CHRISTOPHER LLOYD! He is like everywhere! I was rewatching King of the Hill and at one point I was like ‘that grounds keeper sounds familiar.’ And it is Christopher Lloyd!

Michael J Fox is in my top favorite Disney movie! Atlantis The Lost Empire, I watch that movie at least once a year. I also played a bit of Homeward Bound this year for my students of Chance (the dog Michael J Fox voices) yelling ‘It’s Birdzilla!’

Also Elisabeth Shue in Adventures in Babysitting. Funny is one point I was thinking of a Jennifer adventure where she is watching Jules and Verne and it turns into Adventures in Babysitting and then I realized, ‘Wait that is the same actress!’

Pat Buttram who was Jeb also voices Napoleon in the Aristocats.

Was there a memorable moment you heard a Huey Lewis song this year?

I heard Back in Time in the car when I was on a weekend trip with other teachers this year and I had so much fun that weekend with them.

How many times did you fall down this year?

At least three, and that was playing kickball with my students at recess.

Did you get to see BTTF: The Musical? What was your experience like!

No.

Though I am working on a trip to New York to watch and go fabric shopping. Legit doing a two day trip. Fly in, see the musical, spend the night, day out, spend the night, and go home.

How many times did your mom retell the story of how she and your father met?

Because I live two hours away, most of the time when we call or see each other. We are catching up with each other. If she tells stories about the past, it is more of my late grandfather. More accurate is how many times my mom tells me about the pineapple story.

If you could describe your year in a BTTF quote, which one would it be?

I think it is a tie with “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.” And “I finally invented something that works!” Mostly I was trying new thinks with my teaching and with cosplay.

⚡️LIGHTNING ROUND⚡️ Did you get to: go on any trains, skate on a skateboard, ride a horse, drive a Delorean, run in the rain, go to a dance, hang up a clock, play the guitar, pull an all-nighter, read science fiction, or drive thru Burger King this year?

No, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, kind of, no, yes, and yes.

Your future is whatever you make it! So what are you going to make of this coming year?

Just pull myself out of my funk this year and go out more!

Cause I was late with this if you wish to do this you can!

#back to the future #bttf #bttf year-end tag game

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ofallthingsnasty · 1 year ago

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I started reading your fics on ao3 and my goodness they are such a treat😍💕 dark and nasty fanfics just hit different('capture kill' and 'through the briar' have me in a chokehold omg😖😮‍💨)

I also feel super happy to find people that feel exactly like I do about Micah from rdr2. Like he is the worst plz shoot him, but he is also just a fascinating character. I hate him, but I also think he's neat( and low-key kinda of funny) haha but I never say it out loud out of fear of getting absolutely blasted by the fandom🙃💀I mean looking at the fact that a lot of rdr2 fix-it fics, fix it by banishing Micah to shadow realm at the first possible moment and everybody making full blown essays of why he's the worst character of all time, is enough for me to keep my mouth shut lol 😭 So its really nice to see that there are people that appreciate his character and Peter Blomquist's fantastic work portraying Micah Bell.

Also are you planning on giving 'capture kill' and 'through the briar' sequals👀? Because I am 100% here for any continuation for either of them🫶

Thank you so much!! 🥰💖💖 I am so incredibly glad you like my fics - especially 'through the briar' and 'capture kill', they've grown to be my favorite stories. A little darkness sometimes (or all the time) is just so... indulgent 😉

And oh my god, anon, you fucking get me. Micah is one of my favorite characters - and the only character I truly loathe but still adore because he's just so damn well-written. He makes me uneasy in the game, to the point I visibly cringe, he is a total piece of shit I just want to punch - but he is such a good character. One of the best villains to me. And exactly, a giant part of that is Peter Blomquist's wonderful voice acting. That man is a fucking magician because you can identify Micah from his breaths alone. He did one hell of a job on that blond bastard and I really admire him for it.

"but I also think he's neat( and low-key kinda of funny) haha but I never say it out loud out of fear of getting absolutely blasted by the fandom🙃💀"

To be entirely honest, I had the same worries as you when I posted 'through the briar'. You have a lot of people on here who send you hate for writing noncon AND there are a few others who hate Micah with every fibre of their being (which is totally understandable, but please don't send hate haha) - I was really nervous to draw the ire of BOTH of these parties. I was fully prepared to get a few nasty comments and otherwise silence on that fic - and I am STILL floored at the sheer amount of positive feedback I've gotten. You don't know how happy every single comment I've gotten has made and still makes me. 'through the briar' was two months of work and a lot of headaches for me and for it to scratch an itch for so many people has been one of the highlights of my little 'career' as a fic writer. Genuinely, thank you so much for your love!!

Regarding sequels, I have written about some scenarios after 'through the briar' happens - here and here. I want to write out the immediate aftermath and that little escape scenario as little vignettes on here, it's on my list!! I am basically waiting for my muse to fully strike - right now, I'm still pre-occupied with getting through One Piece, so that might take a while 🙈 As for capture kill - I am currently working on a little Bill pwp - just a little thing, some years into the future with him - that should be done by tomorrow! Other than that, I have some thirsts/scenarios here, here and here. Both of these fic will probably not get a 'proper' sequel but I don't want to rule it out, I am known to finish WIPs that have been rotting away in my docs for three years 😭 I am however always open to write little blurbs and the like, feel free to ask for anything that might come to your mind!! 🤗 And thank you again for your sweet message, it means so much to me.

#ask #anon #honestly kisses for you. you are so sweet and you get me!!!#capture kill #through the briar

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branmuffins22 · 1 year ago

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Moots said they wanna hear about WIPs and I feel like I gotta get this brainrot out anyways so HERE I GO

I've only got three projects I'm actively working on right now, all of which are Owl House fanfics, although I've got ideas here and there for other things (video games I might've made if I weren't so burnt out, ttrpg characters that might need their own goddamn settings and stories to themselves, a Code Lyoko fanfic, music (mostly loads of disconnected song lyrics), 3D avatars, etc).

The Owl House fanfics in question are three(-ish?) fold:

Theseus Who?, a mostly-canon-compliant 5+1 post-titanification headcanon compilation that DOESN'T just let Luz keep her titan form (mostly it's just a bunch of changes along the lines of when Hunter's eyes changed color after Flapjack saved him). - It's actually sort of a tie-in to another, bigger fic I'm writing that's gonna be point 2, so you can assume anything mentioned in this one will happen throughout the timeline of the next one as well. - I've currently already got the 5 written, so now I just need to buckle down and finish the +1, unless I decide to do another sweep of edits (I think the excessive parentheticals might be too excessive). - - I only started it like a week ago, and I've been waiting for motivation to strike again to let me finish it for like half that time.

Masha and the Very Normal Nocedas, a mostly-canon-compliant sorta-multimedia veesha longfic based on the dramatic irony of Masha slowly driving themself nuts trying to piece together what the Deal is with Luz, Vee, and the rest of the Nocedas. - by "sorta-multimedia" i mean its got plaintext segments describing the story, journal segments of Masha recounting events as they remember them and trying to organize their thoughts, chat segments when the characters interact over text, and possibly more if I feel the Need. - I've only outlined the three prologue chapters and the following intermission, only have snippets and vague ideas for scenes for the main bulk of the fic itself, and have only actually written two of the prologue chapters and the intermission. - - won't start posting it until I at least get the third prologue chapter done, so I've got a usable buffer. Hopefully that'll be sooner rather than later.

The Overthinker AU (or "The Artificer AU"? name is also very much a work in progress), a canon rewrite that I think I'll actually split into a bunch of shorter "episodes", so I can appropriately tag each one, rather than tagging one monolithic fic with Everything Under The Sun. The basic premise is "what if The Owl House, but there's more time", both in the meta sense of "not bound by the 20-minute TV episode format" and the diegetic sense of "the broad-strokes plot of the show will happen over a longer in-universe period of time" (though I'm a bit stuck on just how much more time I want to give em). - for the most part, I wanted to put more emphasis on Luz's magical development, and extrapolate a somewhat wider magic system out of what we see in the show, but I also want to go into more detail on how her actions affect those around her, even outside of all the friends she makes (stuff along the lines of the little things the crowd mentioned while protesting Eda's petrification at the end of season 1). - I'm almost (reluctantly) thinking of pulling a Grapes of Wrath with it, structure-wise, by having main plot/character development chapters alternate with shorter intermissions focused on magical exploration, worldbuilding, and so on. - this project is currently just the scribblings of a madwoman in my private discord server and three wildly unfinished fics in my google docs folder - - one of these fics is Something Like a Bible, which is essentially a condensed version of the entire broader project, boiled down to bare plot and occasional commentary. Like a series outline and a plot synopsis rolled into one, though perhaps not quite the series bible it claims to be. - - - honestly I REALLY aughtta work on this one some more, just so I can get most of the Big Ideas out of my head and share them with people. - - the other two fics are currently untitled snippets of scenes from the project, one a sentimental/instructional note from Eda to Luz, and the other sort of a ragefic twist on the ending of Thanks to Them. - this project is gonna include tons of ideas from and allusions to other fics which inspired it/me, such as The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled by IdeaHunter, All that's at Stake by The_Lampman, and Decorative by TheTokenAro, to name a few. - I could make a whole post about this project on its own (and in fact, I have before), talking about all the little changes I'd make, the developments I'd include, the more sweeping changes, the additional themes I'd toss in, and so on, but there are some I REALLY don't think fit well into the "rambling tumblr post" format (and/or just don't want to spoil yet), so I shall Abstain (for now :P).

#toh #the owl house #fan fiction #fanfic #barely-tamed ramblings of a madmind #moots eat up #timestamping Saturday August 26th 2023 (at 11:02am PST)#in case you wanna yell at tumblr for not putting this in your feed until days later #like they have with all my other posts in the last month-ish for some reason

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g0sts · 2 years ago

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hit with tha "get to know me" tag game i love u guys! i was tagged by both @phasmama and @memosminifridge! im debby emoji fr, sorry it took me so long to get to it!

fave ships: well i apparently gravitate towards whatever the unifying thread of nandermo and jonmartin is (EDIT i fucking forgot about sted aka blackbonnet-but-i-think-im-hilarious, im in a fog today forgive me), but going further back we obviously had taakitz, preceded by destiel, preceded by johnlock, preceded all the way back in high school by tbh the blueprint of Feral Bitches Finding Each Other And Making Each Other Better And Worse All At Once... sophie and howlmovingcastle... oh wait but if we want a real throwback that still rips my heart from my chest a decade and a half later, kyo/tohru fruitsbasket. oof... gotta lie down... into the next...

first ship: well i hit on that in fave ships, but definitely kyo/tohru. back in fuckin middle school i could tell those two needed each other 😭

last song: i have spotify on right now so last one that finished was White Stripes - Icky Thump but the currently playing is yeule - Pretty Bones [EDIT from the bottom, Fleetwood Mac - The Chain is playing me out, so, that's fun for us, huh?]

currently reading: all i read is fic these days and i'll be honest i've fallen extremely behind However i'm extremely extremely invested in Alethophobia by @jay-auris and i am itching to catch up (smirk... u are not on tumblr to see this but im calling out thru the ether.... saturday.... read w me.... after pathfinder........) Literally fic of all time, yeah it's an AU but like. hear me out. it's phenomenal, it's an exceptional mystery, it's not even rly a slowburn imo they've just Been Thru It, jay is a wizard, the characterization is like. best i've seen tbh i'm Entranced and i think about it a Lot even when i fall behind

last movie: i . i think it was indeed glass onion lol

currently watching: i binged the first season of Only Murders In The Building earlier this week and am Obsessed, can't wait to watch season 2, show of all time. i'm having a mystery moment it seems

consuming: strawberry flavored water... barely... not a good food day oop im sorry

currently working on: alternating between two cross stitch projects (got one more coffin ornament Plus Another If I Am Not Out Of My Mind After This One, but my passion is in this rainbow quaker squares beast) AND in a new year's miracle, i have been Writing Again for [redacted] for an exchange (it has been literally like half a year since putting words to doc hasn't made me feel like clawing my skin off i am taking the W)

no pressure to do this if u don't feel like it! but tagging some folks i don't Think have been tagged: @wrath-of--the-lamb, @partiallyobscure, @fanfic-fugue, @space-jaam, @fivevotesdown, @nuclearparade, @gothwizardmagic, @2momsatbrunch, and tbh who ever wants to do it im tagging you too

#tag game #get to know me #about me

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passionpluto · 2 years ago

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Presenting: The Big Four Preservation Project (AKA Operation: Release the Vickles-Shaye Cut)!

What if the first four Altador Cup MVPs were all part of a secret society, and the only one who knew was Tandrak Shaye? That's the question Jair Tollet finds herself asking when her team captain uncovers a sabotage scheme targeting the Altador Cups's high scorers and asks her for help. All Jair really wants to do is lay low and train her new apprentice Scout, but when an old frenemy from her Team Maraqua days is linked to the sabotages, Jair finds herself pulled ever deeper into the mystery...especially once the saboteurs begin to target Scout for her own burgeoning abilities...

The Big Four Saga was an unreleased Altador Cup 'verse written from 2010-11 for the Neopian Times. It was extensively advertised on Neopets forums, mainly Jellyneo Forums. Two stories (Jair's backstory Jumper and the intro short story Big Four Minus One) from it were eventually published, but its main series The Vickles-Shaye Battles was never released because, even after massive edits, it was continually rejected by the NT. It has only ever been read in its entirety by one person, a suburban father from Kansas City...until now.

Okay, so I wanted to do the crazy Defunctland-style narration for at least one paragraph to make this sound more important than it is, but putting that aside, I asked you all if you wanted to read my old AC fanfics in their uncut, ninth-grade glory, and boy did you guys deliver! I'd been thinking about doing this for some time since I'll be switching computers soon for the first time in a long time and wanted a way to preserve these silly things that still have a place in my heart, but wasn't sure if I should do it publicly or just add them to my Google Docs and call it a day. Due to extensive work writing and marketing my current WIP Premiere Nebula to publishers, I knew I wouldn't have time to fully remaster the Big Four Saga, but figured I'd leave it mostly as-is (more on that later) so readers could see the progress I've made in 13 years. I'd like to think I've grown a lot since then!

But point is, thanks to all your morbid curiosity (that you may end up regretting later), the full Big Four Saga is coming to AO3, alongside Paging Doctor Sparkle and the rest of If You Give a Little Love from FiMFiction. This will include both published stories and the full, unpublished Vickles-Shaye Battles 10-part series. Finally, someone other than my dad is going to see these! Maybe the people who actually waited for this on JNF will stumble on it and finally get to read it!

To finish this little self-promotion segment, I'd like to preface the release with one thing: this is a finished series that I'm releasing purely so I can have someplace online to preserve it. The Big Four Saga ended over a decade ago, and I have since moved onto other projects, one of which actually exists because of the Big Four Saga! You see, after Vickles-Shaye, I had intended on writing a sequel series called Valkaine, which was permanently cancelled due to continued rejection by the NT and me realizing the planned genre shift from a sports story to a magical girl-inspired sci-fi was a bit too jarring. If the concept for Valkaine sounds familiar to some of you, that's because it was the basis for Premiere Nebula! So hopefully, you'll all get to read some form of Valkaine someday, or at least a spiritual successor to it.

This brings me to the one change I will be making to the Big Four Saga before publishing it: Scout's name has been changed. The story explains that she was named for a central figure in the Resistance, but in the original version, her name was Valka. This change comes entirely because the name of the magical girl rebel leader in Premiere Nebula is, you guessed it, also Valka. They were actually the same character for a really long time, but as I developed PN!Valka, she got further and further from the original Valka concept that I thought "why not just name OG Valka something else?" So PN!Valka stays Valka while BF!Valka became Scout, purely to avoid future confusion between the characters should Premiere Nebula ever be published. But for those of you who follow PN, it might still be cool for you to know that Scout was the proto-Valka. :)

#neopets #altador cup #long post #my post #fanfiction

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miss-ingno · 2 years ago

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4, 16, 23, and 42 from the fanfic writing meme!

4. How do you choose which fics to write?

Depends! Sometimes I want to post something (and I try, in general, to finish or almost finish writing a story before I start posting to avoid regular-update pressure. My current WIP is an exception ^^") so I set it to priority.

Sometimes I'll stare blankly at a doc and realize, this isn't working for me, so I browse my WIP pile until something catches my interest. Other times, I'll have a vague feeling for what I want (high fantasy vs modern vibes, plotty vs smutty vs relationshippy, etc.) and pick a fic that fits that vibe to work on.

This works for me because I have waaaaaay too many WIPs :') I should make a list some day.

16. Do you write by hand, on your phone, or on your laptop?

Desktop! I do write on my phone when I'm on break at work/waiting somewhere outside of my home, but keyboard makes it so much easier.

23. Is writing the beginning, middle, or end of the story easiest? Hardest?

What ever comes to me first is easiest because that's the part of the scene I'm inspired to write. It is very rarely the ending. The endings are always hard. How do you make sure the last line is satisfying and hits the right spot? It's hard.

42. What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

I think my funniest title is probably Shen Wei, Accidental Lesbian Whisperer.

I'm pretty proud of Mystery of the Locked Door Thief, actually. It says "casefic" about thefts and alludes to locked door murder crimes. Most of the other titles I'm proud of are actually song titles, so I'm not sure they count :D Except for It's You And Me (Among The Stars), which I made up on the fly! (It's a Stargate crossover, so maybe it's not *that* clever but x'D)

Send me some Fanfiction Writing Asks!

(25, 38, 51; 8, 14, 15; 35, 48, 74, 75; 18, 27, 28, 40, 50 and 35 answered here)

#ingno got an ask!#sigmundite #thanks for playing! <3

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elisaintime · 3 years ago

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Anne Rice is the closest thing I've ever had to a hero. She was an absolute virtuoso. It wasn't just that her work impacted my formative years, but thinking and talking about her as a person is still a part of my daily life right now. I sank hard into fandom as a pandemic coping strategy last year, and have been there ever since. I spend hours a day in Anne Rice fan spaces, discussing her and her work with other fans. I am fascinated by how her mind works. I have all her books saved to my phone so that I can search through them for key words at a moment's notice, and people come to me all the time to answer their questions about canon details. I once cosplayed as her for a Come As Your Favorite Author costume party. I have a google doc where I’ve been saving my favorite quotes from her interviews and ramblings, and it's over 10,000 words long. I keep meaning to make a video out of it one of these days. Last year, I wrote the script for a video on PBS’s web channel all about her industry-changing literary career and also made a totally gratuitous video for my own channel where I ranked all her vampire books. This year, I posted more than 2.5 million words of VC fanfic to ao3, and since last year, I’ve reread 12 of her books in audiobook format for the first time since reading them in print in my youth. She used to be extremely active on social media, engaging with us one-on-one all hours of the day and night. Whenever I sent her an email, she answered me graciously within 24 hours. After her controversial earlier years, she’d mellowed out into such a sweet and gracious old lady, so friendly and eager to support her fans and uplift anyone she could. But a couple years ago, she kind of disappeared from public forums and stopped talking to us except for the rare tweet here or there about what TV show she was currently obsessed with. I feared the worst, that something had happened to her and she was in her decline, and I had been waiting every day for news that her end had come. Very recently, her social media team started asking fans to send pictures of their memories of meeting her at signings, and I knew something had to have happened. I would have sent them these two pictures, but it felt like bad luck somehow, admitting it was real. Because of this, her death doesn't come as a shock today, but it is still devastating. In 2013, she watched one of my Vampire Reviews videos and loved it enough to share it with her fans on social media. She called me "very smart and funny," and it was the greatest professional compliment I've ever received in my life. A year later, I got the chance to meet her at the signing in NYC for Prince Lestat. It was so empowering to be in the audience at that signing and listen to all the testimonials of people standing up to share how her work had given them the courage to embrace their queer identities. I wasn't brave enough to say so, but she'd been my queer awakening as well, and I met my first serious girlfriend through the fandom. The way she addresses gender and sexuality in her work has spoken to me more acutely than anything else I've ever seen. I had my 3 month old baby with me, and we waited for hours for a few moments of her time, but when we got close enough, they noticed us and let us cut to the front. She was absolutely enthralled with Grey and spent at least double the time she did with anyone else, just cooing at him. She jokingly threatened to steal him, and I wished she'd take us both! A few years later, when her personal assistant resigned and she was searching for a new one, you don't know how close I was to applying for that job (which I would have been amazing at), seriously entertaining the dream of uprooting my entire life and moving my family across the country just to work for her. Two days after the book signing, I went to New Orleans for my very first Vampire Ball, where I had the chance to sit and talk with her for a few more minutes. It wasn't long, but it meant the world to me. I always hoped I'd get another chance one day. A couple months ago, I finally read her book, Violin, which I'd tried to read years ago, but put down halfway through. The book is one long magnificent sob of grief and mourning, and it feels more autobiographical than any of her other works. It feels nearly voyeuristic to read about pain so obviously personal to her real life in the deaths of her daughter and mother and her other tumultuous family relationships, but it helped me understand her heart and soul in a whole new way I had not quite grasped in my 23 prior years of fandom. When talking about her own grief, Anne once said, "The lights do come back on, no matter how dark it seems, and I'm sensitive now, more than ever, to the beauty of the world – and more resigned to living with cosmic uncertainty." She is with Stan and Michele now. Let’s all lie on the floor and listen to Beethoven in her honor.

#Anne Rice

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astrobei · 2 years ago

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omg hi for the fanfic writer asks: 🤡🛒🌞

omg HIIII OK LETS SEE

🤡: What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

umm ok keep in mind that i am Lame and probably a lot less funny than i think i am but here’s one that came to mind from the fic i’m currently writing!

🛒: What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

OH ur gonna make me be THOUGHTFUL and INTROSPECTIVE? ur gonna make me perceive my own writing? that is so Mean of u omg . but fr this actually is such a cool question i did have to Think on it a second bc as the writer of, yk, my own fics, it’s not as apparent to me what things might be as common within my fics! but i’d have to say maybe like. themes of being selfish/wanting things u shouldn’t want pop up often in different fics of mine (i think), and i do think i use a lot of imagery pertaining to like. physical descriptions of characters when they’re pining (noticing the way someone’s hair falls into their face, body language, the way it feels to hug them/the tension of proximity) and i’ve been told i write tension well! which is maybe up for debate depending on who is saying it but i do have a lot of like. quiet, soft tension now that i’m thinking abt it sjdksjdjdjfjd anyways this was v interesting thank u !

🌞: Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

oooh good question ! i usually do my best work (school or creative) at night bc it’s very calm and not overstimulating for me! i often write as i get into bed and right before i go to sleep, but i also do a large majority of my writing on the google docs app LOL so i do write scenes on the bus/waiting for lecture to start/just going about my day if inspiration strikes and i have a moment!

these were so fun thank u !!💃❤️🤸

#ask #perceived my own work #god that was terrifying #will forever be thinking abt themes and motifs i use….#this will haunt me

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ur-riddikulus · 4 years ago

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You’re Worth It (Bucky Barnes)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You are the resident therapist for the Avengers and Steve asks you for a favor. He wants you to have a therapy session with Bucky. Then you find out that Bucky wasn’t exactly aware of this plan.

Warnings: some cursing, Bucky’s angsty past, a couple small sexual innuendo. Also like a ton of angst but I promise that it does get better lol.

A/N: This is my first fanfic on here. I posted some Harry Potter ones before this, but I reread them and thought I could do better. So, here we are! Thank you for reading and if you want this to turn into more parts, I can totally do that. <3

You had been in your office preparing for your next patient when Steve walked in.

“Hey, Dr. Y/L/N, can I ask you for a favor?” He asked, putting his hands in a praying motion.

“Yeah, absolutely! I do have a patient soon, though.” You replied. You were glad to help, Steve is a great patient and has been improving impressively. So well, in fact, you didn’t know if he would even need to see you much longer.

“Do you know Bucky Barnes? He’s an old pal of mine. He has been against going to therapy for a long time, but you’ve helped me so much and Bucky needs some help too I think. Plus, he saw you around the tower and thought you were cute.” Steve says.

You blushed at that last part, silently wishing you didn’t. You had a rule against dating any patient or anyone in the tower, since it would just be awkward when you inevitably break up. Every relationship you’ve ever been in hasn’t lasted long, considering you’ve never been able to find someone you truly liked.

“Yeah, of course I know Bucky. You don’t shut up about him during your therapy sessions and I’ve seen him sulking around the tower myself. I would love to help him, but like I said, I have another patient soon. I will only have therapy with him if it’s his choice though. And I think he’s absolutely gorgeous but I have a rule against dating anyone who lives or works in the Tower.” You explained.

You looked at the time, Tony Stark, your next patient, would be here any minute. You were the sole therapist for Avengers Tower. There maybe should have been another one, but Tony had one session with you and said that you were the best he’s ever had and no one would ever dare be a therapist and step into his tower again. He even gave you the title of ‘Chief of Mental Health’ despite being literally the only person in that department.

Steve must have noticed you checking your watch, because he said ,”Oh, and I bribed Tony to change his appointment and give it to Bucky, so you kind of have no choice.”

You looked up, “What? Who knew that Mr. Captain America himself was a cunning little bitch.” You joked, shaking your head. You and Steve, hell, you and everyone in the tower had that kind of relationship. And, he knew you swore like a sailor, so he even ignored it sometimes.

At that moment, Bucky walked in. He looked so handsome with his shoulder-length hair and baby blue eyes. He even looked a little nervous. Well, that’s not surprising, you thought. Everyone, even you, was a tad nervous on the first session.

Steve put up one finger and said, “Let me talk to Buck alone for one moment.” You nodded and he walked Bucky out to the hallway and shut your door. You heard whispers being exchanged and was a little confused but whatever, you thought. You were sure he’s just giving Bucky encouragement.

You went over and sat down on your grey seat and picked up your chamomile tea. That was probably your favorite part of being a therapist, getting to sit down in comfy chairs all day with your tea. Besides helping people of course.

The door opened once again, with Bucky and Steve reappearing. “Thanks for doing this again, Dr. Y/L/N! Bucky will love you.” Steve said, patting Bucky on the back. You smiled and he exited, leaving only a nervous-looking Bucky standing there.

“Why don’t you come over and sit on the comfortable couch across from me, Bucky?” You motion, pointing over to the couch across from your current chair. He nods and goes to the couch. Well, at least he looks a bit more comfortable, you think to yourself.

“So, what do you want to talk about? Anything is on the table.” You say. You’ve found that not going straight to the tough topics help patients build their trust with you more.

“Well, doll, how about you tell me about yourself first.” He says, getting a bit more confident now. Doll? That’s an odd name to call your therapist. But whatever, you’re sure they used it a lot in the old days. Letting it slide, you try to answer his question.

“Well, I was born and raised here in New York City. I got my PhD. in psychology from NYU and I have an apartment in Brooklyn. I got this job after only one session with Tony Stark and now I am the therapist for the Avengers.” Sure, it was a lot of work, but you absolutely loved your job. Helping the heroes who risk their life to save yours and everyone else’s was the least you could do, you thought.

Bucky nodded and said, “I’m from Brooklyn. Looks much different now than it did when I lived there though. A PhD.? Damn doll, you must be super smart.”

You smiled at his compliment. “Thank you. It wasn’t easy, but it was definitely worth all the late nights studying.”

“So, anything else you want to know about me before we get started?” You asked, getting your notebook to prepare to write notes about Bucky and how to best help him.

“Get started? Damn, doll. I was thinking we could grab a coffee before we ‘get started.’ But it’s good with me, I guess the girls roll a little different in this time than the 40′s.” Bucky says, chuckling to himself.

You were in the middle of getting to the correct page in the notebook but paused when you heard what he said. What did he think you meant when you said ‘get started’? It sounded very different from your meaning. And getting coffee? It almost sounded like he thought this was a date? You shook your head at that thought. No way could he possibly be that confused. And Steve said he thought you were cute, but you seriously doubted that the Bucky Barnes would even consider going on a date with you. So no, it definitely couldn’t be that. But whatever he thought this was, there was obviously a miscommunication that you had to clear up.

“Uh, Bucky? I think you must be confused. Steve told me that he convinced you to have a therapy session with me this afternoon. What did you think this was?” You ask, a little scared of the answer.

At hearing this, Bucky seemed very confused. “What do you mean, Steve told me that we were meeting here before going out on our date?”

Now it’s your turn to be confused. What does he mean by ‘our date’?

“Uh, Steve never said to me that we were going on a date. He told me that he convinced you to have a therapy session with me...” You said, shaking your head in confusion. This made no sense, what was going on?

Apparently that was the conclusion Bucky just got to as well, because he looked up, a little embarrassed and said, “I’m so sorry. Steve told me that you wanted to go on a date with me and that we were going to meet in your office before going out. I never would have agreed to this if I knew what he was really doing. I’m just going to leave, I’m so sorry for wasting your time.” Bucky raced his hand through his long hair and stood up, walking to the door.

At first, you were a little stunned. The Steve you knew, the world knew, would never pull a trick on anyone, especially his best friend. You knew him enough through your sessions to know that he would only do this if he absolutely had to. Which means he must be desperate for his friend to get the mental help he needed. Also, Bucky was just so damn cute and you have had the biggest crush on him ever since you went to the Captain America exhibit in the local museum for a school trip. You always saw him in the pictures with Steve, his heart-stopping smile still doing wonders on you despite the worn black and white photo.

So, you jumped up right when his hand touched the door handle to leave and probably never see you again. “W-Wait!” You said, hating your stutter but just cringed and kept going when you saw him turn around curiously. “While you’re here you might as well just talk to me. If you hate it, you never have to see me again and can just ignore me in the halls. But, if this session does help you, maybe we can schedule a bit more and see where it goes. I really think I can help you, Bucky.” After you finish your awkward speech, you just smiled and waited for his definite and irreversible no. Well, at least you got the chance to help him, you thought.

He just sighed and shrugged saying, “Well, I’m already here I guess. But are you sure this could end at any time and that you even want to help me after my dumb friend tricked me into embarrassing myself?”

You smiled and that last part and smiled, just grateful for the opportunity to help someone so burdened and has done so much for the world.

Bucky walked back over the his chair and said, “So, Doc, how do we start this?”

You grabbed your notebook again and turned to the right page again. “This is your session, it can start with however you want. But it might help to start from the beginning. How did you feel when you got drafted into a World War when you were only 18?”

He looked deep in thought and said, “Wow, no one ever asked me that.” He sighed before adding, “Of course it was my duty to fight and all that, but I was angry at the world for forcing kids who just barely turned adults to fight their wars for them. I knew it was going to be an adventure, but honestly I was scared shitless, doll.”

You nod, your empathy for him skyrocketing even though you guys just started.

And that’s how your bi-weekly sessions with Bucky would usually go. You guys talked about a whole manner of things, like his past in the 1940′s, his brainwashing with HYDRA, Steve saving him, and his nightmares from everything included. You two were closer than you normally let yourself get to patients. You didn’t know if it was because of everything he had gone through, or maybe even that you finally got to talk and help the Avenger who needed you most, but you honestly didn’t care. Your sessions with him really seemed to help him and now he hasn’t had a nightmare in over 2 months. Bucky seemed a lot happier and waved and talked to you in the halls. Steve even said that he hasn’t seen Bucky like this since the 40′s. You thought that with all things considered, he had a ton of improvement. You two had only been meeting for about 6 months and his progress was truly great;

You tried to forget that in your first meeting he thought you were going on a date and even apparently called you pretty. You knew that nothing romantic should ever come out of your patient and therapist relationship since it was obviously wrong. Every therapist knew that under no circumstances should you date your patient. It would always hurt the patient’s mental health even more and that was the opposite of your job. You suppose it could technically happen if you stopped being his personal therapist but it wouldn’t be worth it. All of his hard work would have been for nothing.

But you couldn’t help but think what if? What if it ended up working out? What if he got another therapist and you could date him? What if he was the one? But no, you were getting ahead of yourself, you thought. Bucky was great and handsome and so, so perfect. He was honestly everything you wanted in a partner. And still, you couldn’t take the leap. If it didn’t work out and you were possibly the reason his mental health got worse you could never forgive yourself. So every appointment with him you just smiled and tried to ignore that pressing need, even though you were beating yourself up for either being a coward or for being so selfish that you wanted to take that chance.

One day you were in the middle of researching new ways to help a client’s recent mental health issue and trying to (and failing) ignore a certain issue when Bucky walked in with a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a nervous look on his face. You stood up, very confused but nonetheless making yourself known.

“Uh, Y/N? Could I maybe talk to you for a minute?” He asked. You’ve never seen him dressed so well. Normally he just wore either workout clothes or sweatpants. You two even often joked together that he owned no normal clothes.

“Yeah of course. I’m sorry I didn’t know we had a session today.” You said, cursing yourself for making such a mistake. Usually you were pretty good with schedules, even though working with the entire compound was a bit much to remember.

“Oh, we don’t. I just wanted to ask you a question.” Bucky said, biting his lip. A nervous tick that you soon discovered in one of your early sessions together.

“Sure, ask away.” You replied. You were getting a little worried. Surely he didn’t want to end your appointments together, right? Did you do something wrong?

“First of all, these are for you.” He said nervously as he handed you the flowers. You smiled, surprised that he remembered you telling him your that your favorite was y/f/f while complaining that the local florist didn’t have them during one of your bi-weekly meetings. “Thank you, these are absolutely beautiful. I love them.” You smiled and walked over to a window ledge with a vase on it and put them in, admiring how they looked in the sunlight.

When you were finished admiring them you walked back over to Bucky. “Thank you again, they really are beautiful. I don’t even remember the last time someone was so nice and got flowers for me.” You said and hugged him. You knew he wasn’t that great with personal touch but surprised you when he hugged you back pretty quickly. For a moment you just focused on being in his arms but then soon thought of how inappropriate it would look to an outsider and reluctantly pulled away.

“So, what did you want to ask? Is everything okay?” You ask, quickly remembering that something could be wrong with him.

“Yeah, of course everything is fine. You truly are a great therapist, Y/N. You’ve got a gift.” Bucky said. You blushed at his words and hated that your color would give away your inappropriate feelings possibly. His words did calm you down though. But if it wasn’t about therapy, then what else could it be about?

Feeling your blush go down finally, you nodded and urged him to go on, now too curious to wait it felt like.

He sighed and nervously ran his hand through his hair. “You have to promise me that if this goes wrong, our relationship won’t be ruined. It’s too important for me to ruin by being an idiot.” You immediately promised. Normally you would be cautious about such a thing but you have never trusted anyone this quickly and this much with Bucky.

After he saw your quick agreement, he went on. “So, these past couple weeks, well since we’ve started meeting actually, I was interested in you. I was never going to act on it in a million years but you’ve helped me so much and I think we could really be great together. And Steve might have noticed me staring at you and telling me I should do something about it.” He chuckled. “So, want to go on a real date? I would go the whole 9 yards, nice restaurant and everything. But I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want to do and know that our relationship isn’t necessarily the easiest to become romantic. I just think you're worth it, doll. You're worth all of it.” He stopped and bit his lip again, waiting for your response.

Your heart soared when you heard his speech. No one had every made you feel this way. You were about to say yes, so close in fact, but then you remembered the real truth. You are his therapist, his doctor, his advocate. That was special and meant something to you. You knew he wanted this but it was your responsibility to make the hard choice, to do what you honestly hated to do but thought was right.

“No, Buck. I’m sorry but I can’t. I just think it could ruin all your hard work and that’s the last thing that I want to do. It just shouldn’t be risked.” You said. Telling him that felt like vomit was coming up and you felt even worse when you saw him look dejected and lose his smile so quickly because of you.

You moved your arm to touch his and try to support him the best you could within your boundaries but he saw you trying to do it and moved before you could touch him. And that really hurt.

You opened your mouth to try and say that you wanted to say yes, that it wasn’t him and just your job but he put up his hand to stop you and said,”No, I shouldn't have asked, I’m sorry.” before walking out.

After the door shut you just closed your mouth in surprise of how this could all go so wrong before falling on the ground and just sobbing. You were hyperventilating soon and snot was going everywhere but you just didn’t care. You were the therapist, the one who knew all the mental health tips and tricks but you were too broken to think logically and it felt good to just let yourself cry.

This stayed the same for two straight weeks. Bucky rescheduled every meeting and put himself into more missions, especially the more dangerous ones. You would cry yourself to sleep nearly every night and by the morning, your eyes were really puffy and swollen from the night before. Everyone in the tower knew something was going wrong and you could feel their stares of sympathy and worry. You felt terrible but what felt even worse was that you weren’t even speaking with Bucky anymore. And as bad as you felt, you couldn’t help but be even more worried for him. You were prepared to just wallow in your own self-pity and cry for the nth time when Steve knocked on the door and walked in when you were in your office, just drinking chamomile tea and looking at the flowers Bucky got you.

“Hey Doc, how’s it going?” He asked, sitting down and looking worried. You just looked up at him and decided to finally cut the shit and get right to what you were worried about. “Steve, how’s Bucky? And tell me the truth, I’ll find out eventually.” Steve sighed and said, “Honestly he’s not doing great. He looks like crap and is throws himself into missions. Bucky also keeps taking stupid risks that could leave him wounded or even worse. We’ve all spoken with him and he just ignores it. I think the only thing that would really fix him is talking with you. he’s never been like this before, I just don’t know what to do.”

You knew that he would probably tell you the last part, that he feels out of control. Control issues was what you most talked about with Steve during your sessions. Not that you could blame him, you would definitely have them too after everything he has gone through. But that could be discussed in your future sessions with him. Right now, you just wished everything was back to normal.

You nodded sadly, even more worried for him now. But Steve talking to you changed something. You needed to talk to Bucky. And right now. Your fear of rejection was high and you knew there was a fairly high chance that he was too hurt to trust you and that he would probably say no but you didn’t care. Even if he rejected you, you didn’t care. As long as he would be better and your relationship went back to normal, you could live with it. Even if it would take a long time to get better after this, he would be worth it.

So you just looked up, your mind set on what you had to do. “Where is he? I need to find him right now.”

Steve looked up surprised and said, “Uh, in his room I think. He just signed up for another hard mission and we asked him not to but he insisted. He’s probably getting ready since he will have to leave soon.”

After hearing this, you jumped up frantically while yelling “Thank you so much Steve!” as you ran out, not even caring to stop the door from slamming.

Now, even though you worked in a tower full of superheroes, you were only the therapist and still haven’t ran in a while. So you ran and ignored all the stares of the workers and Avengers. When you finally got there, you were out of breath and breathing hard. But still, you worked through your mini heart attack and knock on the door, still frantic.

You heard some rustling behind the door and a few mumbled curse words when he began saying loudly, “Steve, I’m fine. I’m going on that mission whether you think I should or no-” Bucky opened the door and once he saw you, a probably sweaty, red, and gross you, finished with a confused “-not?”

You put up one finger to signal for him to give you a moment to catch your breath. After that, you joked, “Guess I need to workout more.”

“No, I think you look great. Uh, n-not that my opinion matters or anything. If you think you need to work out then that’s what you should do.” He said, nervously stuttering but nodding at his final sentence like by catching it he saved himself from saying something wrong.

He cleared his throat before continuing. “So, how can I help you? I do have to leave on a mission soon though.”

It broke your heart how formally he was speaking, almost like you were complete strangers.

Maybe you should go, you thought. But no, you had to. Bucky was worth the embarrassment you could possibly face, whether you two were going to date or not. Forcing yourself to remember that, you steeled yourself and said, “I’m sorry Bucky, about everything I said. That date sounded amazing, it really did. I wanted to go and I still do. I was just worried about how inappropriate it would be for a therapist to date their patient. I didn’t want your mental health to backtrack and I honestly thought that I was doing the right thing. But I miss you, Buck. I miss you terribly. And you're worth all of the risks to me, you outweigh them all. So please don’t go on that mission, let someone else take the dumb risks. From what I’ve heard you have taken enough for a while. Please, just stay with me and we can talk?” You looked up at him pleadingly and saw him pull out his phone before shutting the door in your face.

That shut door hurt you, but you were prepared for it and sighed. It was too good to be true, you guessed. The fairytale ending, the white picket fence, the handsome husband. You turned around, prepared to walk away with the thought of going back to your apartment and drowning your sorrows in chamomile tea and tissues when you heard the door open behind you and felt a hand grab yours to turn you around.

And there was Bucky, smiling like an absolute idiot. And at first you thought that he was making fun of you, but even then you still thought he looked handsome with that smile. “Sam’s in. He’ll take the mission for me.” He said.

“What?” was all you could muster. You had no idea what he was talking about it sounded almost like... That’s when you heard Sam on speaker phone, “Yep, that’s right sweetheart. I’m gonna do the dumb mission. Kiss Bucky real good for me, sucks I can’t be there to do it myself.” Then you heard Sam make a bunch of kissy noises and that’s when Bucky said, “Enough of him.” And ended the call. Then he grabbed your hand once more and shut the door behind you. He backed you against his door with him so close to you that your chest was touching his.

You were still in shock of your luck when Bucky leaned in and kissed you. You were a little shocked but soon kissed him back, and hard. It was like you were underwater and he was the oxygen. The kiss soon turned rougher and you did not mind at all.

A couple hours later you were both laying on the bed, snuggling and watching a dumb movie that both of you weren’t even paying attention to. You were both just too wrapped up in each other’s presence. “Hey, I think you got some of that exercise you mentioned needing. Maybe we could even do some more if you want.” Bucky said, looking down at you and laughing.

You hit him lightly but couldn’t help from laughing hard as well. Only hours ago you thought that you wouldn’t get anything with Bucky. No happy ending, white picket fence, and with Bucky, the whole package. But no, you got much more than that. So much more.

#bucky x y/n #bucky #bucky barnes #x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #james buchanan barnes #marvel #mcc fanfic #mcu #firstfic #love

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