#Maaaaybe Snowy Escape

[demonicrosebushsims]

As someone who never had a “Horse-phase”, I’m not very interested in a Horse pack. HOWEVER, if it contains Unicorns, Pegasi and Night Mares, I might be interested. Maybe. Sorta. 

[toffeecoffeedragon]

A Silly Summary of Wardbreaker

In the fashion of many sarcastic recaps on YT; ‘just me rambling from my memory about this book I just finished and love. 

Wardbreaker (by @maramahan) is the story of a group of friends and their prisoner, who live on a Rubik’s Cube. (yeah, spoilers ahead) 

Welcome to the city of Alinor! Where thieves, heroes, and common folk live. And also our main character Kyrin and his terrible government assigned brother, Rat. Everyone else has magic but Kyrin does not, so he has become excellent at annotating poetry to survive. So he and Rat break into to home of Best Friends Forever and Local Heroes: The Knights of Alinor. Oops, they’re already home. Time to meet the family. Tryn, the leader who rules with a healing fist. Briea, the muscle & animorph you(I) wanted to be as a kid. Brysson, a fire bender. Dain, a great conversationalist. And Sal, who can possess people.

They capture Kyrin, but not before the wicked witch of the somewhere breaks in and steals the flex tape keeping the city together; she also steals Kyrin’s heart, that happens too.

Kyrin escapes for a bit, but his life as a morally-grey Aladdin ends when ultimate anime villain, The Faceless, sells him right back to The Knights.  

The Knights must go on a quest to retrieve what has been stolen by the witch, and they bring Kyrin along. It’s time to take a shot every time a character curses due to their quest trying to kill them at every turn. City boy Kyrin learns that the world outside the city... is a cruel minecraft map. None of them really trust or like Kyrin, though absolute sweetheart Sal is doing her best to be friendly. They end up in a swamp where English-is-my-favorite-subject Kyrin deciphers riddles to help take down a monster trying to play the “No I’m the real one!” game with the group.      

Doctor Dad heals them up before deciding that Kyrin might potentially be useful since he might be able to hear magic which I assume sounds like scratchy CD covers at best and like an explosion at worst. So it’s off to the monastery! Here the group rests and Kyrin speaks with someone guarding his prison cell, questioning the role of socioeconomic position in his whole thief situation. Oh hey it’s Tryn’s college buddy Pel, so of course he’ll join the party. Kyrin also passes Pel & the monks’ pop quiz and is a confirmed for magic hearing. On top of all that, we learn the origin story of the world, in that it was dropped by one of the two brother gods and messily fixed with magic, the true krazy glue of this world. Not-so-bad-to-the-bone Kyrin asks the brother god for a second chance at life. And maaaaybe Kyrin is bonding with The Knights by virtue of almost all of them being very good at witty banter? Scratch that. Resident former outlaw Brysson is gonna take Kyrin back to Alinor so he doesn’t pose a danger to the quest. After all, the Knights have mapquest necklaces, so they’re good. Brysson & Kyrin depart into the bitter snowy biome homeward, but are attacked. Weakened space heater & street fighter Brysson faints after defeating the attackers. 10% luck, 20% skill, 5000% concentrated-power-of-will Kyrin manages to drag himself and Brysson back to the knights to be healed. 

Next they decide to just continue questing, and then encounter the most horrifying scene in which plants are proven to be the scariest force in this world. Plant monsters that feed off human flesh immobilize and carry off the group to feed to the master tree. However, unfortunate chosen one Kyrin is instead made into a DIY gardening starter kit. Kyrin flees and meets up with the group, minus Pel and Brysson’s arm. Things are difficult now as shepherd Tryn tries to keep his flock stable, and they sit in tension. Determined to kick start his own redemption arc, Kyrin tells his backstory in which his dad, Lucius Malfoy, tries to kill him because he lacks magic and wins Alinor’s parent of the year award. Understandably baggage heavy, Kyrin and the crew call it a night. But not before the whole flower thing happens where Kyrin gets help to free the parasite plant from him. Oh, also the literal girl of his dreams-- the witch Esmeralda continues visiting Kyrin, which is a thing she’s been doing. Ah, Kyrin also apologizes, and look, there’s a lot going on!   

Back into the dark, scary woods. We have to. We’re in fantasy, how could we not?! Elves. Time for the tricksters. Right when The Knights were just beginning sign Kyrin’s adoption papers, he decides to “sacrifice” himself to the elves and drops the f-word. So his friends can go free. Dramatic irony Kyrin of course does this because Esmeralda said she was about 10 mins away from picking him up. “Hop in loser, we’re going (to make our dreams come true)”. Maybe he did want to turn his life around and become a lawful good but the world is looking pretty lawful inconsiderate and.... there is a warrant out for his death. So, why not just run away with Esmeralda? After again connecting with fellow english major elves, Kyrin does exactly that. The knights were put in a monster pit but... knowing their skills, Kyrin decides they should be fiiiiiiine.     

Skipping their HGTV episode, go-getter Esmeralda has already found a large, enchantment sealed castle complete with a library and glassy room to complete the life of a new couple. She & Kyrin roam the castle before checking out the balcony. They have an “everything the light touches, is our kingdom” moment before spotting... yeah, The Knights of Alinor. Oh yeah, they were tracking down Esmeralda... that was the whole quest purpose. Kyrin is going to side with Esmeralda who reveals that she has the power to steal magic which is kind of linked to the magic wielders soul and maaaaybe kinda important for keeping them alive. Also she’s kinda planning on letting Alinor get wrecked. 

A terrible actor and maybe an even worse buddy at this point, Kyrin dupes The Knights into walking into the castle for a “Prepare for trouble and make it double” surprise attack with Esmeralda. Somewhere in there Ems & Ky share that Disney moment kiss. However, at the last moment of realization, the power of friendship and concern for Alinor overtakes Kyrin as he sees his friends having their lives taken from them and stops Esmeralda from completing her goal of stealing all the kights’ magics. Of course, not before having them all seeing him dramatically betray him. RIP Brysson’s heart... Though, when Kyrin saves the day, and after everything they’ve been through, the Knights of Alinor decide he has potential and want to help him turn things around and fulfill his childhood dream of being one of the Knights of Alinor. Hooray!                    

 (In all seriousness, Kyrin was a very cool character to follow as he went on a journey. It was so nice to see a broody character... whose feelings do get hurt, who does find themselves making mistakes, and like I think a lot of people having change be a hard and bumpy process... maybe I just feel like I haven’t encountered that so often. And something about Kyrin’s relationship with the sensory elements, sort of resonated with my experience of ADHD, which was really cool for me. If anyone read this far, I hope maybe you got a little laugh!)