#MY BROKE ASS CAN’T AFFORD THAT 😭

[l1v1n-f0r-th3-m1nut3]

chat imma need about 92 blue crayons, a bottle of hot sauce, 3 buckets of orbeez, a calculator, and a clock set to greenwich time, i’m gonna fix these grocery prices

[ventiij]

Could you request an au royal with prince!wanderer x servant!reader where wanderer during the night asks reader to stay until he falls asleep and she ends up falling asleep kneeling next to his bed? (Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes, English is not my native language)

HOW DID I JUST SEE THIS IT’S BEEN MONTHS I’M SO SORRYYYY

no worries anon, english isn’t my first language either so we’re twinning bbg (it’s four am help)

APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE SINCE THIS SUCKS😭

idk what got into me while I was writing

anyway, here my silly little requested fanfic is 🫢

bg:

before your family had gone broke, you never thoguht you’d find yourself in this situation. at the palace, you really were just a simple servant like everyone said.

…

before your father lost everything there was a rumor which was slowly passing from everyone’s mouth - whoever started working for the royal family wouldn’t make it out of a miserable life, they’d have you wrapped around their fingers.

there was a reason to think that though - the payment wasn’t enough to change job. yes, it was simpls like that. they do offer you a place to stay and food to survive, but overall it was just enough to afford taking a week off when you’re sick, apart from national holidays and all that.

your life isn’t a normal one, nor one somebody would aim at. you are nothing but one of the servants at the royal palace. no-one knows you for who you are, but it’s not all that bad. you have the whole palace for you and your friends, your families and many people you care about, who actually do know the real-you’s worth.

the royals aren’t so bad either! the queen is the one who rules the kingdom as there’s no king, she’s independent, enterprising and has an intimidating story behind her. her name is Raiden Shogun. meanwhile, her son, ‘the wanderer’, is a spoiled brat with an ass attitude who’s against the whole world.

this gremlin spends most of his time around the castle, glaring at every servant while they’re doing their job and stand there watching, only to walk away like nothing happened. there was this one time, when you were mopping the floor… he didn’t take his eyes off of you for a split second! …at least it felt like so.

after a couple more of such events happening to you for no reason, because you work properly (if not splendidly), he suddenly calls out your name while you’re doing your thing. “Y/n.” you turn around all freaked out since it couldn’t possibly mean good things when someone had to deal with this guy, he looked so stern and cold and and-

“meet me in my room after dinner.” he said and just left like that. eh?

His room? did he want you to clean it? Dust it? Make his bed? That wasn’t in the contract… he didn’t mention the reason, so you decide to just go with it.

after dinner, in his room

you greet, slightly bow and stand right before the doorframe, dressed up for the occasion, as you see him in his pajamas. he didn’t even bother to greet you - instead, he straight up ordered you: “stay with me for the night” what. you? what. what again? “me?” he nods and gets in bed looking skeptical as usual “who else?” you just watch from afar, scared you might do something to give him the ick. so this isn’t about cleaning, huh?

“well? aren’t you going to sit down somewhere?” he asks and you just kneel down next to his bed at his height, perfectly intersecating his gaze. “don’t you dare wake me up before 7 am.” ‘bitch?’ you want to reply as he just stares at you. ‘aNyThInG hIs mAjEsTy wAnTs’ like hell you were gonna stay like this for a whole night for no reason.

“Uh, no? This isn’t in the contract.” you contradict him and were prolly one of the few people who did that to him in his whole life,

“alright.” he says as he rolls in bed, turning around and closing his eyes to drift off to sleep.

…does he actually expect you to fall asleep in this position?

some time later

‘can’t deny he looks pretty though.’ you think as you finally come to terms with the fact that he wants you there. your mind can wander all it wants thinking of all the possibile reasons behind this blessing in disguise, but no true reason can be found.

well, it’s only for today. after all, how do you know who you might see as you get out of his room? and what will they think? ugh

aside from that, you could get in his majesty’s graces, soo

this is no occasion to waste.

[dilfl0v3rss]

uh uh…dat anon needa reveal dey acc REALLL FUCKIN QUICK. Once again it b the dusty bow legged bitches hiding they acc. Got a bitch ready to deck her in her shi thru the phone fr😂💀 hoe can’t even afford black AF1’s ole broke ass. Prolly built like my left big toe, long foreheaded ass, discombobulated ass, dirt neck dickhead. Go lick the blackest part of my ass bitch😘 (lovingly)

LMFAOOOOOOO YALL ARE CRAZYYYYYY😭

[southangel]

If you got a chance to go to Casa Bonita would you? I would go but the probability of that happening is slim. The whole ass ocean keeps me from getting into the best restaurant in the world. >:(

Oh my Godd I would LOVE to go to Casa Bonita but I literally live on the other side of the country. 😭 They did that episode well, a little too well became now i’m crying that my broke ass can’t afford plane tickets. I would probably take an insane amount of photos with that Cartman Statue as well.

[alurite-l]

Hello! I need medication for life to prevent my lungs from collapsing, this implies permanent treatment with steroids, oxygen therapy, control of oxygen in the blood and antibiotics to prevent the development of bacteria in the lungs.

I'm afraid I have to insist on this because it may be the only way to get my treatment.

I need medication for life to keep my lungs from collapsing, this costs around $700 per month.

Things are really tough on me,I can’t afford. Please donate🖤

I'm so tired of these annoying ass broke ass scamming ass mfs coming into my inbox telling me they 50th sob story about how they daddy leg is broken, their car is on fire, their sister got kidnapped and their mother was born with glass bones and paper skin so they need money to fix everything. Girl fuck you and your bacteria, have you seen this economy. I'm struggling too bitch in fact 😭😭😭😭

Things are tough on me too, I should be scamming yo ass 💀

[gurugirl]

GURU HELP? ok basically i love pickles! like LOVE pickles and lately i’ve been seeing a bunch of these chamoy pickles on tiktok and i’m CRAVING them but people only sell them in kits and my broke ass can’t afford that shit + $10 shipping like should i splurge and quench my cravings or just not get it… plus what if they don’t even taste good… or aren’t crunchy OMG imagine a pickle not being crunchy 😭

Okay, well after googling this I realize that now I want some too! I love pickles and chamoy sauce so I feel like this would be a really good combo.

As for what you should do?? Gosh I don't know! What about buying dill pickles and chamoy sauce at the grocery store or market? I know where I live i can find chamoy everywhere. That's what I'd do to try it out with the taste of chamoy first.

And what if they're not crunchy? 😣 That would ruin the whole experience!

I don't know babe! Tell me what you wind up doing and if you try it let me know what you think. I'm curious!

p.s. got your wolfrry ask too but i'll post that one maybe tomorrow - i'm just holding off so i don't spoil anything for anyone else who hasn't read it yet.

xoxo

[lambentplume]

alright i’m literally going to save this for when i go see my therapist again so um. no one needs to read or respond at all i just can’t sit up or grip a pencil rn so i’m laying in bed writing this. lol. please god i hope readmore works i am so sorry

it’s getting really dire out here. so i work part time at a cafe which is dying due to managerial neglect/chronic overstaffing/being under resourced and that pays me $12/hr plus tips. i’m still recovering from the time our espresso machine (which is. a major source of appeal for a fucking espresso based cafe) broke… the job that USUALLY ensures i have enough to live is now not enough. i also have two internships that total 25 hours per week and they’re both in separate but not unrelated fields that i’m Thinking about going into. both of which are relatively easier on my body and i like the work so far.

the issue is that i’ve been in my head for SO LONG about what kind of job i should be working. i was going to have a full spiral earlier today but thank god the shift ended lol. bc my coworker is a polisci/ethnic studies major, we were talking about positionality and the ways that academia, eapecially the western idea of “social sciences” (which is . what i study) exploita the communities it studies when not done with careful critical or community-based methodology. and as someone who wants to potentially join investigators studying the social ramifications of labor done in the specific context that i grew up in, from a worker’s and also generational and also academic jargon perspective (side note: i genuinely think there is a case for connecting the modern exploitative tourist hospitality industry to underserved communities’ ability to seek help and thrive like STRUCTURALLY in terms of the way these schedules are fucking built) i’m kind of… working my way up the ladder. learning research methodologies by doing that ground-level work and pushing paper for the PIs who actually do the Cool Work. AND ALSO STILL WORKING ON MY BACHELORS WHILE BEING A RENT PAYER … i also finally admitted to this coworker that i dropped out of the US east coast PWI i went to in order to come home bc i couldn’t handle it socially and i feel like. being a poc who has living relatives who worked on plantations and who is CONSTANTLY reminded that i have far more privilege than i could ever grasp etc is making me feel a little insane. like my dad Doesn’t talk to me about it because he does Not feel like articulating it and i’m Never going to understand which is true. like i will Never Understand. i should be a bit happier that the internships are paying me more just to sit and do brainwork instead of busting ass and people pleasing all day but i’m so afraid. of . being . incompetent. that i just work because i’m happy to work i need to feel useful i need everything to add up so bad. i need more than one full day off from responsibilities but i can’t afford it. i’m going to fall behind and not be good at anything and forget big theses if i can’t even pay rent. like what IS the point!! other more eloquent and better-equipped and driven people who know what they want should have it! i will just shrink my presence until i shrivel away!!!!!!!! god.

and then i feel the need to legitimize my hobbies and interests like bro 😭😭😭 who fucking cares if i miss the OT 5th anny people are drawing pieces bc they feel like it!!!

this is WHY i can’t chase clout this is why i didn’t go to risd this is why i dropped out of brown. so why am i still attached to the idea that i need to be institutionally validated (THERE IS MONEY IN INSTITUTIONAL VALIDATION. END UNDERPAYMENT I WANT TO KERMIT!!!!)

[jakescumdump]

so my friend who had let me borrow her Disney+ account just canceled her subscription and my broke ass can’t afford that shit so I won’t be able to watch the first movie and twow when it comes out??😭

[totallypaulmccartney]

I did but it blew awayyy and my broke ass can’t afford another one😭

IM NEVER GOING OUTSIDE EVER AGAIN I GOT RAINED ON AGAINNNNN😭😭😭😭

IM JUST TRYIN TO READ OUTSIDE BUT I CANTTTT😭😭😭😭

what the actual fuck you guys

[lizzie-is-here]

Helloo here again to request another K.B fanfic where Kate purposely tries to get in an argument with Y/n so they would break up because she thought the king pin situation was getting a little too dangerous and she didnt want Y/n to be involved so she said harsh things to her till Y/n got really hurt and broke up with her but then Y/n still wanted to be friends with Kate so she kept bugging Kate till Kate stops ignoring Y/n again and they hang out with each other again and end up getting back together and Kate admits that she didnt mean everything and that it was all just to protect Y/n bcs she couldnt afford losing her and she also says she still really loves and cares for Y/n and always has bcs Kate realized nothing can or will separate her from Y/n?😊💜

Ooo can u pls make it really angsty to and fluffy in the end? Tysm!💜

(Hope it's not to much😅)

Fem R to btw Tyyy!

Lots of love!💜

🤍request!🤍

character: kate bishop x fem!reader

warnings: cussing, angst, arguing, kate being an ass with good intentions

a/n: ok i changed it around a little bit, but i tried my best on the arguing 😭 it hurt to write y’all but it was emotionally satisfying in a weird way too. anyway hope u enjoy!

“You know, it’s, uh… It comes with a price.”

“What does?”

“This life you wanna live. To really help people. I mean, try to help people, anyway. Comes with a lot of sacrifices. And some things you’ll lose… forever.”

When Kate texted you saying that she needed to talk, you weren’t sure what to think. And now, standing out in the freezing cold outside of your shared apartment, you still aren’t.

“What do you mean, ‘break up’?” you ask, watching Kate’s face fall. “We’ve been together for two years, I thought it was going really well. Did I do something wrong-“

She shakes her head immediately, instinctively dropping into Protective Girlfriend™️ mode.

“No, no, no, no, no no,” she says. You narrow your eyes.

“Then what’s going on? Why aren’t you being honest with me?” You take her hand. “I want to help you. I promise, whatever it is, we can figure it out together.”

Ouch. Right in the heart. Kate sighs, steeling her resolve as she realizes this is gonna be a lot harder than she anticipated.

“Why does it matter?” she demands, raising her voice. “Every time I look at you, my stomach just fucking drops. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand you. Whatever we had, it’s gone now.”

“Not everything can be solved by just ‘talking it out’, and I know that that’s hard for you to understand, but it’s true. I gave up on us months ago.” She forces each word out, hoping that you’ll break up with her quickly and she won’t have to spew more lies.

But instead of backing down, you fire back. “You’re still lying! Kate, what is going on?”

You know her too well. All of the late nights and early mornings, all of the movie nights and drives to nowhere built up. And now you know each other better than yourselves.

She knows what she needs to do, no matter how much it’s going to hurt.

“I’m not sure how much more obvious I can be, (Y/N), the signs are everywhere. I don’t love you anymore!”

You don’t reel back like they do in movies. You don’t flinch. You go deadly still, meeting the gaze of the woman you love, and you take a shaky breath.

“I hope whatever you’re doing all this-“ You gesture around. “-for is worth your efforts. Because I clearly wasn’t.” Your eyes flit over her form. “Goodbye, Kate.”

You hurry inside before the tears fall, leaving her alone in the cold. She nods in satisfaction, even if she’s emotionally wrecked now. She won. She came here to do one thing, and she accomplished that.

As Kate walks away, though, it still feels like she lost.

———————————————————————

After that night, you were what one would call a hot mess.

You were already on break from college, but you were moping around even more than usual over the past few days. To lift your spirits, you had tried nearly anything that took your mind away from your girlfriend.

So now, your apartment smelled like cookies (several plates of which were stashed away), there were several bags from your retail therapy trip, and the TV had only displayed Hallmark Christmas movies for the past 48 hours. Plus, all of Kate’s things had been shoved into a closet.

But every time you put a new baked good into the oven or ordered another cart of clothes, you thought about Kate. You couldn’t help it.

In all fairness, when you spend that much time around someone and abruptly stop seeing them, you’re bound to miss them. Even if they were a bit of an asshat to you. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

On one hand, Kate had been very forthcoming about what she thought of you. And it wasn’t nice. You winced every time you remembered her harsh words.

On the other hand, something was clearly going on. And even if that didn’t give her behavior a pass, it provided an explanation.

Plus, if something serious was going down, you wanted to help her, even just as a friend.

It’s four days later, on Christmas morning, when you finally cave.

‘Hey, it’s me’ you type before quickly deleting it.

“Of course it’s you, dipshit,” you mumble.

‘Hey, I know things kind of went to shit the other day but if you wanna hang out and talk sometime I’d be totally up for that :)’

You analyze the message. “Is that too passive? Maybe.” After a few minutes of back-and-forth, you shake your head decisively. “No, it’s fine, I’m just gonna send it.”

Taking a few breaths to hype yourself up, you hit send and immediately fling your phone away.

“Oh, god, that’s too cringey, why did I send that, she’s gonna think I’m some desperate loser. I bet she’s telling me to fuck off right now-“

Grabbing your phone, you pause. No response. But she read it.

“So we’re playing that game,” you chuckle. “Alright, Bishop. Let’s go.”

———————————————————————

At the Barton’s house, Kate is miserable. She already feels bad enough for deliberately arguing with you and saying all that shit, and now you’re reaching out.

Well, more like sending messages every two minutes that get increasingly more passive-aggressively polite.

Kate’s phone displays 174 messages from your contact. A ding.

175.

She groans from the bottom of her soul, flopping onto the couch as Lucky licks her hand.

Clint, being the perceptive Avenger/assassin he is, notices her very obvious wallowing.

“What’s wrong, kid?” he asks, not sure if he wants to hear the answer.

She pushes herself up. “Wait, you actually want to know?”

“Eh, not really.”

Laura gently elbows him as she grabs the shreds of wrapping paper from the floor to throw in the trash. “Clint…”

“Fine. Yes.”

“I started an argument with my girlfriend so she would break up with me and now she’s being too nice and asking to hang out this week and I don’t know what to do,” Kate sobs, burying her head into a throw pillow.

Clint holds up a hand. “Okay, slow down. Let’s start at the beginning. Why did you start a fight with her?”

Kate shrugs. “You said that this life came with sacrifices,” she reasons.

“And that correlates… How?”

“So I gave up something important so she wouldn’t get hurt.”

Clint thinks he might have an aneurysm right then and there. “Kate. Kate. What part of ‘This life comes with sacrifices’ equals ‘break up with your girlfriend’?”

She opens and closes her mouth a few times. “Well, it just sounded like you were talking about sacrificing a person… or something.”

“I have a wife and three kids! I meant your private life and your free time!” he exclaims.

Kate bolts up faster than Nathaniel Pietro Barton’s second namesake and grabs her phone.

“Oh my god, I have to apologize. I need flowers, and lights, and jewelry, and-“

“Calm down, kid,” Clint says. “First things first, you need a quick flight back home. I’ll call in a favor from Tony, I’m sure he can get you a quick flight.”

Ten minutes later, Kate’s packed up and ready to go, and a private jet is getting ready at the airport. After hugging the Barton family goodbye and wishing them a Merry Christmas, her and Clint scramble into the car and drive off.

They make it to the airport in record time, skipping security with a single flash of Clint’s ID.

“Alright, you better not screw this up,” he says.

She nods, bouncing on her heels. “Yeah. Yeah, I won’t. I’ve got this.” Jumping at the archer, she pulls him into a hug. “Okay, thanks so much gotta go, bye!”

———————————————————————

You gave up after three hours of messages, resorting to moping about. Some Christmas this was.

It’s 7:30 and pitch black outside when you hear a knock on your door. You pause before opening it, until you hear a familiar voice.

“Please open this! I don’t wanna drop your gifts- I mean my stuff!”

“Kate?” You fling open the door.

Your girlfriend (Ex? Whatever, technicalities) is carrying a bouquet of lily of the valleys and sprigs of holly, a jewelry box, and a disturbingly large bag of holiday foods.

“I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry, and I want to explain. You don’t have to take me back, just, please, hear me out?”

You don’t have the heart to turn her away, so you nod, stepping aside as she shuffles in.

She drops everything on the counter, sinking into the couch. You sit, keeping a bit of distance.

“You said you wanted to explain,” you begin, nodding to her. “So?”

Despite the jet lag, Kate rushes into the story.

“So, this is going to sound crazy, but I’ve spent the last six days with Clint fucking Barton- I know, insane.”

Your eyebrows raise. Her literal hero? Damn, so that’s what was going on with that giant arrow and the rumors of a second Hawkeye.

“And we were dealing with some pretty dangerous people. Mob bosses, mercs, Russian assassins, you know.”

You didn’t know.

“And… I thought if they figured out about our relationship, you’d be in danger. And I couldn’t let you get hurt from my mess.”

“I’m sorry I went about it the way I did. You were right, I should’ve just talked to you about it. I was just so… scared.”

You soften. Yes, she made a mistake. A big-ass mistake. But she made it from a place of worry and love. Smiling, you take her hand.

“I forgive you. I know you must’ve been worried, and everything must have been going so fast…” She begins to sniffle and you pull her into a hug. “You had good intentions, Kate. It’s alright now.”

She buries her face in your hair. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of the shit I said, I was just-“ Unable to manage more words, she just shakes her head.

You softly shh her, nodding in understanding.

“Does this mean I can stay here for a while?” she asks, voice shaking. “‘Cause I had to arrest my mom and I really don’t want to live with my stepdad after she framed him for murder and I tried to chop off his face.”

“Kate, baby,” you chuckle. “You’ve had a tough few days, huh?” She only groans. “Of course you can stay. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I kicked you out of our apartment?”

She jumps from your arms before you can react, wide-eyes and suddenly 12x more hyper.

“You’re taking me back?”

You nod, smiling at her antics. Without a pause, Kate scoops you up, spinning around in circles as you squeal. “Oh my god, thank you! I’ll never pull that shit again, (Y/N), I promise.”

“I know, I know,” you laugh as she slows, still holding you up. “I am making you do the dishes for two months, though.”

She leans in to kiss you. When you part, she shrugs. “I’ll gladly do all the dishes if it means you’re still my girlfriend.”

[khaleesiofalicante]

‘“Tell me you wouldn’t do it,” Rafael demanded from Alec. “If you were sick and dying, tell me you wouldn’t strip off your marks so you can be with Bapak.”’ Haha FUCK

‘“I sent a confession to all members of the council,” Rafael replied, his eyes closed. “Everyone knows I broke the law.”’ omfg

“A chuckle broke through their son at that moment. “Do I look happy to you, dad?”Magnus’ heart broke at that.” same

I can’t believe max is sleeping through this

“Will you be okay?” Rafael asked then. “If dad dies tomorrow, will you be okay?” Magnus didn’t know how to respond to that. It was his husband who answered. “He will be okay,” Alec replied, his voice flat. “Cause that’s how life works, Rafael.” No, Magnus wanted to say. That’s not true.” Lol😭

“Rafael smiled then, his eyes on Alec – and then on Magnus.“I was raised by the two of you,” Rafael smiled. “Love is the only thing that makes sense to me.”’ Dammit

‘“I didn’t give up on the Clave, dad! The Clave gave up on me. The Clave gave up on Anjali!” Rafael yelled back. “It gave up on the two people who wanted to fix it. Did you know that, dad? It’s all she and I wanted. We wanted to fix the Clave. We wanted to help build a better world. But if the law would rather let her suffer, then I don’t want to fix it. To hell with the Clave.”’ That’s really unfair

Oh hey, look at that. It’s all going to shit.

‘“You cannot give up being a shadowhunter because you don’t agree with the law,” Alec said. “If you don’t like it, then fix it. That’s how systems change.”

“I don't have to fix it, and neither did you!” Rafael said, his voice thin. “The younger generation is not responsible for fixing centuries of ignorance and bigotry.”’ True, it shouldn’t be that way, but that is the way it is. I’m not sure Rafe has a point here, which I think is your point. You’re writing this conflict very well.

Ok max finally is up lol I beginning to worry about him.

‘“I do,” Rafael said. “A little bit.” “Doesn’t she hate you too?” Max asked. “She does,” Rafael nodded. “A lot.”’ Sobbing

‘“They didn’t ask,” Rafael said quietly. “Only you did.”’ *sighs* again, that’s incredibly unfair. Were his parents just supposed to forget about their son leaving them forever and ask about the girl he likes? That’s something you can do as a sibling without responsibility over the situation that you can’t afford to do as a parent. Rafael needs to get his head out of his ass and grow up.

‘“I’m going to turn your room into Chairman’s room if you move out,” Max threatened.” Fucking dead. I’m actually starting to like max a lot more now that David is gone😬

‘“You should go then,” Max said instead. It stopped raining then as if the quietness in his heart chased the storm clouds away.” 🥺 ‘“Fuck the Clave is not our family motto!” Rafael said.” Except that it is.

‘“Bapak said it was!” Max argued. "Although now I feel like he probably meant it differently. But the sentiment still stands!”’ The good old “Magnus took fuck the clave a little too seriously” joke truly never gets old.

I love the Rafe and max scenes so much❤️

‘“Do you feel my heart?” Rafael asked. “It’s dying.” His father closed his eyes in pain. But Rafael held his hand tightly.” Bad word choice, babe.

‘“I don’t want to fix it,” dad whispered. “I just want to hold you.”’ Ouch

“Rafael removed his father’s arm from around him, slowly and carefully. He lifted the man's hand to his mouth and kissed it.’’ That’s so soft, I-

Ooooooooh so Raziel is sick . . . not sure how an angel gets sick, but that actually makes sense.

ok. ok. ok. dani are you good?

I am very good!

And yeah Raziel probably didn't wear a mask, that dumb shit.

[suicidememes]

Does anyone want to buy me the Animal Crossing DLC so I can stop getting upset with strangers online who are enjoying it when my broke ass can’t afford it 😭

[trulymadlysydney]

Syd there’s this super cute heart shaped Kate spade purse that insta keeps advertising to me and I want it so bad but it’s $200 and my broke ass can’t afford it😩😭

No because that sounds cute as hell excuse me….. why is it so much 😭