#MOVIN' ON WAS ALWAYS EASY FOR ME TO DO! IT HITS DIFFERENT! HITS DIFFERENT 'CAUSE IT'S *YOU*!

[ohdorothea]

It’s the final!!!!!! One of these songs will be crowned the queerest song from Midnights!!!

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!!!!

Maroon lyrics When the morning came, we

Were cleaning incense off your

Vinyl shelf 'cause we lost track of time again

Laughing with my feet in your lap

Like you were my closest friend

"How'd we end up on the floor anyway?"

You say

"Your roommate's cheap-ass screw top rosé

That's how"

I see you every day now

And I chose you

The one I was dancing with in New York

No shoes

Looked up at the sky and it was

The burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

When the silence came, we

Were shaking blind and hazy

How the hell did we lose sight of us again?

Sobbing with your head in your hands

Ain't that the way shit always ends

You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway

Carnations you had thought were roses

That's us

I feel you, no matter what

The rubies that I gave up

And I lost you

The one I was dancing with in New York

No shoes

Looked up at the sky and it was maroon

The burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet, it was

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

And I wake with your memory over me

That's a real fuckin' legacy, legacy

(It was maroon)

And I wake with your memory over me

That's a real fuckin' legacy to leave

The burgundy on my t-shirt when you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks, so scarlet

It was maroon

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

It was maroon

🫶🫶🫶

Hits Different lyrics

I washed my hands of us at the club

You made a mess of me

I pictured you with other girls in love

Then threw up on the street

Like waiting for a bus that never shows

You just start walkin' on

They say that if it's right, you know

Each bar plays our song

Nothing has ever felt so wrong

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different

It hits different 'cause it's you

('Cause it's you)

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost

Rip the band-aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw

Freedom felt like summer then on the coast

Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

And I never don't cry (And I never don't cry) at the bar

Yeah, my sadness is contagious (My sadness is contagious)

I slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car

I stopped receiving invitations

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different

It hits different 'cause it's you

('Cause it's you)

I find the artifacts, cried over a hat

Cursed the space that I needed

I trace the evidence, make it make some sense

Why the wound is still bleedin'

You were the one that I loved

Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough

A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes

This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy

Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief

In the good in the world, you once believed in me

And I felt you and I held you for a while

Bet I could still melt your world

Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway

Is that your key in the door?

Is it okay? Is it you?

Or have they come to take me away?

To take me away

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different (It hits different)

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different (It hits different)

It hits different 'cause it's you

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

'Cause it's you

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different (Yeah)

It hits different 'cause it's you

🫶🫶🫶

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

[emmafallsinlove]

Catastrophic blues Movin' on was always easy for me to do It hits different It hits different 'cause it's you

[msjemmxswift]

movin' on was always easy for me to do it hits different it hits different 'cause it's you

[ultralightpoe]

Hits Different - Tangerine

Hits Different - Tangerine

Authors Note : Heya! I am so glad I finally got all the songs filled and am so ready for the event!

MIDNIGHTS EVENT HERE

Word Count: 3433

Warnings: none I think

Enjoy!

I washed my hands of us at the club

You made a mess of me

I pictured you with other girls in love

Then threw up on the street

Like waiting for a bus that never shows

You just start walkin' on

They say that if it's right, you know

Each bar plays our song

Nothing has ever felt so wrong

Nothing really registered properly at the moment, the only thing you knew was your palms were digging into the grass below you as your best friend cursed behind you, holding your hair back as you puked in the shitty college town park you had stumbled into. 

If this had been a normal outing the roles would have reversed and it would have been you holding her own hair back with a sober attitude she wouldn’t be able to recognize, too wasted to know that you were fuming, but for once in your terribly long friendship it had been you that took far too many shots. This time it had been you that had to be dragged away from some random guy with a wedding ring tan. 

Tan…..oh Tan.

Just at the memory of the nickname you feel the need to vomit again, tears stinging your eyes as your best friend giggles behind you, obviously not concerned for the mental breakdown you were currently having. 

“Do you think he has a new girlfriend?” You slur out, knees wobbly as she helps you up, leaning down to snatch the weapons off your feet so you can walk across the grass with her. She leads you to a public hose, or at least she hopes it’s public as she turns it on. 

“Definitely babe.”

“I don’t get it! This never happens to me!” By this you mean being left behind. 

It was no secret amongst your friend group that you were a flight risk when it came to relationships, always leaving before you got attached but just late enough that your significant other had already said the three words. You had never said the three words back….ever…..well until him.

“Just forget him babe,” She sighs out, grabbing your hands gently. “You keep waiting for him to call, and it’s been three weeks. He’s not calling back.”

“But I told him I loved him.” You hiccup, flinching as the cold hits your hands. 

She doesn’t respond and in your drunken stupor you can’t help but feel like a massive burden, so you shake your head with tears and whine out “I’ll stop talking about him, I swear.”

“It hurts right now, I know that. But soon enough you are gonna wash your hands clean of the whole thing.” She smiles, and you think about that for a moment before nodding and scrubbing your own hands under the water. 

From tonight on you won’t get Tangerine the satisfaction. 

You are washing yourself clean of him entirely.

But little did you know the entire time you were washing your hands you were humming yours and tans song, the whole reason you began to have the mental breakdown at the bar in the first place. Your best friend doesn’t point it out, she owes you that much. 

How many times had you wiped her mascara and bought her ice cream after being dumped? This was an easy act to return.

Oh my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different

It hits different 'cause it's you

('Cause it's you)

You were proud to say that you weren’t the one that brought him up during the weekly sunday brunch three days later, only to be immediately shamed by the way you head snapped at attention when your friend said his name. 

“Any news?”

Your best friend shakes her head from beside you, pouring more bottomless mimosas for you as you try to muster up an answer, really just anything to explain what had happened there but the truth was you had no clue yourself. 

“No, and honestly I have been running through all our last conversations to figure out what went wrong, was I too clingy? Did I scare him off?” You explain, watching all the girls lean forward in their seats. “And it’s so weird because I said I love you and he said it back. I don’t know-”

“I think you just panicked because of our teasing.” You best friend lies, batting her eyelashes at you. 

“Yeah! Girl I don’t think you really loved him, you were probably just in overdrive to prove us wrong. You are so lucky he left when he did.”

“He probably has a wife.”

“With kids.”

“That live in a nice suburban home-” You rush away from the table, sick of all the images they were giving you. They were obviously looking for reasons for you to feel better but none of it was helping because you knew you loved him.

He had been your first l word. 

And it had been wasted. 

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost

Rip the Band-Aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw

Freedom felt like summer then on the coast

Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

And I never don't cry (no, I never don't cry) at the bar

Yeah, my sadness is contagious (my sadness is contagious)

I slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car

I stopped receiving invitations

A year ago you had been covered in a sweet scented sun balm, topless at the beach and tanning under the nice heat of the day as whatever lover you had at the time ran to get you both something to drink. You were holding your sunglasses in one hand and a book in the other, facedown on the poolside chair when two feet emerged in your vision. Two feet that you had not recognized. 

You had picked your head up slowly, blinking to clear the sunspots in your vision as the stranger came into view, brown hair tousled and gold chain glinting in the light. There was a pinkish tint to his shoulders and chest, and he smirks as you trace your eyes over his figure. 

“Can I help you?” You keep your voice sultry, eyelashes batting up at him as a slow smile spreads across his face. 

“I was hoping you’d be so lovely and share some of that sunblock with me,” His accent is thick as he squats down to be at the same level as you, eyes filled with something close to adoration that has your heart spiraling. “As you can see love, I’m burnin away here.”

“I do apologize for that, the sun can be quite the enemy…” You smile, reaching down to grab it, moving to hand it to him. His eyebrows shoot up and he feigns a look of shock for a moment before one of fake hurt.

“You can’t expect me to do it, lovey. You see I can’t reach my own fucking back…”

“How dare I!” You gasp, playing along and trying not to laugh. 

“Yeah, how fucking dare ya.” His toothy grin pulls a matching smile from you and he turns slowly to let you rub the balm onto his back, and you cast nervous glances around for the date that had brought you to the resort. 

“Don’t worry about him right now, yeah love? Your Kenny doll won’t mind us having some fun.” If you knew his secrets you’d have known that Tangerine had handled the man in the restroom, scaring him off so he could make a move. But you would never be allowed to see any of that. 

Oh my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different

It hits different 'cause it's you

('Cause it's you)

“What was that fucks name again?” Tan laughed, reaching to pinch your ass as you pass him to grab the popcorn for your movie night. 

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Mmmhmm, my lil’ fucking heartbreaker.” He grunts out, pressing his body against yours and kissing at your neck drawing a giggle from you. 

“We’re never gonna watch the movie if you can’t control yourself, and you were the one that begged for this movie night rather than a night-”

“I know I know.” He sighs, allowing himself one more kiss before moving to the living room to set up. It takes you a couple more minutes to grab the tray of snacks, and when you finally shuffle out to the living room you find a huge fort made out of pillows and blankets with your boyfriend nowhere in sight.

“Tan?” You call, setting the tray down and leaning to check in the fort for him only to find it empty. The lights of the tv are your only source of light so you don’t see the figure behind you until it’s too late and he snatches you by the waist and spins you around in the air. 

A laugh pulls from you as he yells out a battle cry and throws you both into the fort where all the pillows were laid out. 

After a couple minutes of laughter you catch your breath and play with his hair as he leans over your outstretched body, his own pressed against yours and his fingers trailing love touches up your side as he stares at you. 

“I love you, you know that?” You blurt, watching a smile crack across his face. 

“I love you too.”

You ended up never watching the movie, choosing to stay in the fort and admire each others bodies in a way you had never done before, panting and moaning under the faint blue light the tv sent through the sheets of the fort. 

I find the artifacts, cried over a hat

Cursed the space that I needed

I trace the evidence, make it make some sense

Why the wound is still bleedin'

You were the one that I loved

Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough

A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes

Except you woke up alone in the fort, covered in blankets that you did not remember grabbing, and the tv had been turned off. 

He must have been late for work and you simply overslept, it was a rational answer you gave yourself because normally Tan would wake you up before he left. Or maybe there had been an emergency with his baby brother. 

There were many reasons he could be gone so you simply sent him a good morning text and moved on with your day, telling yourself you would take the fort down later. 

But then the goodmorning text turned into a question about dinner that had gone unanswered, and late at night you sat at the dining table with pizza shoved in your face as you anxiously messaged him asking if he was okay. 

You imagined all the men that you had used for trips and money laughing at you right now, a heavy sense of irony and then you shook your head and reminded yourself that it’s only been a day, this wasn’t a ghosting situation…..

Except it had been, and by the second week you had sent him so many messages that you were sure he finally blocked you when the messages started ready ‘not delivered’. 

An embarrassed sob had clawed up your throat at that, furiously wiping your eyes and chugging the glass of wine you had poured before moving to pick up the fort. 

If anyone had been confused by the sobbing girl in the laundry room of the apartments at 2 am they never said it and you were slightly thankful for that as you washed the sheets from the fort. 

It was time to move on, you were better than this.

You ghosted people, not the other way around. 

This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy

Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief

In the good in the world, you once believed in me

And I felt you and I held you for a while

Bet I could still melt your world

Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

You hadn’t realized that getting dumped was this hard to get over though. Sure you had cheered your friends up from it but you had never felt it yourself, this was a different world to you. You cried when you threw the photos away, and you cried when you packed up anything he left in a box to donate to goodwill. 

He plagued your every waking thought, the image of his eyes and the sound of his voice filling your thoughts whenever you allowed yourself to relax so you spent most your time cleaning or working to distract yourself. 

A little over a year with him, and this is what it came to? 

Your best friend tried convincing you to be angry which led to you puking in a clubbing dress in the middle of a park. And the girls brunch had left you just a little more miserable when the conversation had turned to the engagement party of one of your close friends, and by the time you crawled home you ended up in a ball on the carpet of the living room floor, closing your eyes for a quick nap to shut the world out for a bit. 

You didn’t need him, fuck you had traveled the world before him, you could just go back to that. 

I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway

Is that your key in the door?

Is it okay? Is it you?

Or have they come to take me away?

To take me away

Going back to dating after a year of a relationship had been rocky, and your first date back had led to you cheering up your date as he talked about his own ex, and by the time you packed him into an uber that night you felt a bit better about yourself. You weren’t over your ex, but so what? No one else was either?

And any anxiety you had about dating had gone out the window at that, because you had realized you had the perfect weapon in your hands. 

So you cracked out your best and sexiest dresses and by week 12 of no contact with Tan you began spending your nights putting on the performance of your life.

You would sniffle, and you would bat your eyelashes as you talked about how heartbroken you were, the men would be hooked at the sad doe eyes and you would spend the meal talking about how nice and kind they were, then when the check came you would put the nail in the coffin with the tiny tears on how they were so much better than your ex. 

But they weren’t, they were free meals and free wine that you enjoyed toying with. Because no one had ever pulled your heartstrings the way Tan had, and no one had been able to break your heart the way he had. You were sure you would never give anyone else the chance. 

So you followed your own routine after that, when the man of the night would lead you to the sidewalk and call an uber thinking he was about to get laid, you would start crying and then crying would turn to blubbering as you talked about how amazing they were. 

Nothing scared a guy off faster than clinginess, this you knew well. 

They are always scared off at the blubbering mess of sobs, putting you in an uber and paying for your ride home, desperate for you to stop crying. 

There had been one uber driver that had picked you up 3 times, and always laughed when you stopped crying the second the poor fool was out of sight. You shared your gum with her and she promised to mention you in a novel she was writing, you told her to make you iconic.��

And then you would be dropped off, where you would sit, slightly tipsy, in your very lonely apartment. 

Some nights you would trick yourself into thinking you heard Tans key in the door…. You never did and the pitch of excitement you got always ended in a pained feeling so you began to listen to headphones rather than silence. 

Oh my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different (it hits different)

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different (it hits different)

It hits different 'cause it's you

Your date tonight had chosen a really good restaurant tonight, and not only that he had actually been pretty funny. So when you left the restaurant stuffed and laughing you nearly forgot your performance, but he seemed like he didn’t expect anything as he kissed your cheek to call you a ride, telling him to call you when you crawled in before shutting the door softly and you felt a small smile spread across your face. 

“That one seemed sweet.” Niama comments, watching you through the rearview mirror of the uber. You smile even more and pull out the dessert you ordered. 

“I got this for ya.” You hand it to her and she laughs. 

“And if it hadn’t been me?”

“I would have gone home and eaten it myself. It was a win win idea.”

When she drops you off that night she gives you her number and tells you that she demands an amazing interview for her book, and as you walk up the steps to your apartment you are left with a giddy feeling from a good night. 

Maybe that’s why you didn’t notice it at first. Too busy laughing to yourself to notice the familiar smell of mint on the doorstep, or the fact that your door was unlocked. 

But the second you enter it’s clear something is off.

The lights are on, and you know for a fact that you had turned them off before you left. The kitchen was cleaner then you left it and the smell of mint filled your lungs. 

Everything was right and yet it was so so wrong. 

You find yourself frozen in the doorway, one hand clenching the doorknob as the other tightens into a fist at the center of your jacket, doing your best to wake yourself up from whatever dream this was. 

“Y/n?” He calls, the same familiar accent that had talked you to sleep nearly every night for a year. And then he is there, limping harshly as he comes around the corner. 

His entire face is covered in blisters and bruises, a cast on his left arm.

He watches you in the doorway, and you blink back at him struggling to find something to say….anything, a single word would be fine. 

“H…..Hey lovey.”

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

'Cause it's you

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different (yeah)

Hits different 'cause it's you

His normal cockiness was gone, and you can see the fear in his eyes in an instant, as he looks you up and down. 

“You……look stunning.”

“You look like hell.”

He nods, taking his unbroken hand up to wipe his tears before he clears his throat and stands straighter. “I think it’s time to explain.”

You nod, moving to shut the door and you stand there just a second more before flinging across the room where he stood, careful of his injuries when you pull him into a bone crushing hug. 

He groans in pain and you pull yourself back quickly but his unbroken hand is fisted in the back of your coat to keep you close as he catches his breath. 

“Sorry love,” He grunts, pressing his forehead to yours. “I got shot.”

“IthoughtIscaredyouawayand- I’m sorry…. You got shot?” A small smile spreads across his face as he watches you. 

“You think you scared me away by sayin’ I love ya?” He chuckles, his hand sliding up your side until it’s woven in your hair. “Cause I’m worried about what I’m about to tell ya will scare you off.”

Don't forget to request a character and a song from the album Sour by Olivia Rodrigo for the next event!

And check out the midnights masterlist at the top of this post for more taylor swift fun!

[philsfavoritepillow]

Times nick and Charlie were Taylor swift lyrics

“You’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes”

“I was enchanted to meet you”

“In the winter the first fall of snow”

When Charlie’s friends like nick doesn’t like him

“Oh, my, love is a lie, Shit my friends say to get me by. . . Catastrophic blues Movin' on was always easy for me to do. . . Hits different 'cause it's you”

“Stand there like a ghost Shaking come the rain”

“Broke your heart, I'll put it back together”

“Tell him how you must've lost your mind”

“When you left him all alone and never told him why”

“I'm so in love that I might stop breathing. . .Like we were in Paris”

“Like a child when our eyes meet, darling, I fancy you. . . met all of his best mates”

“So I guess all the rumors are true You know I love a London boy I fancy you”

“You've been stressed out lately? Yeah, me too, Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand”

“It's nice to have a friend”

AND OF COURSE

“Shade never made anybody less gay!”

[thelasttime]

no i don't think you get it i washed my hands of us at the club you made a mess of me i pictured you with other girls in love then threw up on the street like waiting for a bus that never shows you just start walking on they say that if it's right you know each bar plays our song nothing ever felt so wrong oh my love is lie shit my friends say to get me by it hits different it hits different this time catastrophic blues movin' on was always easy for me to do it hits different it hits different 'cause it's you

[heyyyharry]

Hits Different (from the Flatmate series)

...in which Harry goes to the club while his flatmate goes on a blind date.

Word count: 2.6k

Inspired by Taylor Swift’s unreleased song “Hits Different”

___♥___

The muffled club music was still thrumming in Harry’s ear as he splashed his face with cold water. He stared at his reflection in the dirty mirror. Jesus, had he been looking like this all night long? His eyes were red and his hair suggested that he’d either just had sex or just got out of bed five minutes ago. Neither of that was true. He’d been living off of coffee for the past few days because of the exam season, and he really wished he was having sex right now instead of hiding in the loo, suffocating from the smell of urine and vomit.

The door swung open all of a sudden and Niall rushed in, face taut with worry. “Mate, you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Harry murmured as he washed his hands under the running tap. Niall looked the opposite of him – so clean and sober, with his hair neatly pushed back, and his white polo shirt made him look like he’d just gone golfing. Harry looked even more of a mess now with Niall’s reflection behind him in the mirror.

“You sure you’re alright? We’re worried about you,” Niall indeed looked worried.

But before Harry could deflect the accusation that he might not be alright, Layla walked in, wearing a silver sequin dress that made her look like a mirrorball. Layla always treated the club like her Met Gala as it was her way of manifesting an invitation for the event in the future. But seeing Niall and now Layla made Harry feel even more like shit.

“Harry, are you taking drugs?” she asked, eyes wide.

“What? No.” Harry scoffed, frantically pushing his hair back. “Why? Do I look like I’m on drugs?” A pause. “Wait, what are you doing in the men’s room?”

Layla ignored that as she pushed past Niall to grab Harry and started fixing his hair and shirt.

“I think we should take him home, Layla,” Niall said.

“No, we agreed to go out tonight, so we’re gonna have a great time,” Layla said while aggressively tugging at Harry’s sleeves to straighten them.

“He’s clearly drunk,” Niall breathed. “We should take him home.”

“Why are you guys talking about me like I’m not here?”

“He’ll get over it,” Layla told Niall as she stepped back and looked at Harry, satisfied with her work. “He’s just being dramatic.”

“I’m the dramatic one?” Harry gasped. “Said the shiniest girl in the club.”

“At least I’m not being emo in the toilet because my crush is on a date.”

“I don’t have a crush on Y/N.”

“Denial is a river in Egypt.”

“Layla, give him a break.”

“Let’s get back out there,” Harry said, not wanting to argue with Layla right now. Besides, they were finally playing a song he knew.

___♥___

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different

It hits different 'cause it's you

As it turned out, Harry hated that song. It was the one Y/N had sent him earlier this week on Whatsapp, and he only listened to it because she loved it. Now they were playing it in this bar and it made him chug down more pints than he could count, and by the time he’d made it out of the club, his knees were wobbly and his head spinning.

Layla threw her big coat on, and Niall shivered in his trench coat, but Harry, with only his jumper on and alcohol flooding in his blood streams, was not affected by the October chill.

I wonder what Y/N is doing right now.

“Bet she’s having a better night than us,” Layla muttered, and Harry realised he’d said that aloud.

“Layla, don’t say that.” Niall put an arm around Harry to help him stand. “Let’s get you home, Harry.”

“Can we pick up Y/N?”

“We don’t know where she is.”

“I’ll text her.”

“Don’t you dare.” Layla snatched the phone out of his hand before he could even unlock it. “The only night that Y/N gets to not be boring and you’re plotting to ruin it for her. Also, you’re being very selfish right now, mentioning her when you’re with us.”

Harry felt his stomach churn. “Do you think she’s having fun?”

“Well, obviously. She would have texted you if she wanted to leave the date. She might meet someone who’s perfect for her and fall in love and live happily ever after with him–”

Before Layla could finish painting that picture, Harry braced his hand on the wall beside him. He heard Layla scream as vomit pooled beneath him, staining his shoes, his stomach clenching in pain. Niall’s voice was muffled, though Harry could feel Niall’s hand rubbing his back.

While the taste of vomit passed down his tongue and filled him with shame and regret, the memory of tY/N getting ready for her blind date stormed back into his head, and when he thought about another man touching her, the second torrent of sludge exited mouth.

“These boots are vintage!” Layla screeched. Harry feared that she’d start crying, but instead, she just smacked him with her purse, knocking him onto the ground.

Through his fluttering eyelids, he could see how scared Layla was because she hadn’t expected him to fall. It wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t hit him that hard; it was his legs that decided to give in, and so he sat on the pavement, head against the cold brick wall.

This felt too comfortable, he thought, eyes pinched shut. Maybe he should just stay here…

___♥___

“Is that a new hat?”

“Yup, just got it from a charity shop,” Y/N said as she studied her reflection in her full-length mirror. Harry stood in her doorway, a piece of toast in hand, chewing as he watched her. Y/N rarely got dressed up, so when she did, it was extremely noticeable. It wasn’t really because she thought she was too cool for all those girly things, but she’d once told him that she felt like putting on something nice would draw attention to herself and she hated that. Now she was wearing a new knitted hat and a bright blue trench coat that she’d worn once for a book club event.

She wanted to get someone’s attention.

Not another gay neighbour, Harry hoped.

“Where are you going?” he asked, trying to act casual as he leaned a shoulder against the doorframe.

She paid him no attention and kept on trying to pick out a lint from her cream knitted hat. “Oh, just this blind date that Sian set me up on.”

“What? Blind date with whom?”

Now she finally turned around to face him. “Harry, it’s called a blind date for a reason. I don’t know who I’m going to meet.”

“Okay, that sounds safe,” he said sarcastically. “Who’s this Sian and why do they want you killed?”

“Sian is my boss.”

“At the student office? Isn’t she like thirty?”

“It’s with one of her cousins, I think.”

“Hmmm, still sounds sketchy to me,” Harry said as he took a huge bite of his toast and started chewing aggressively. “Do you want me to go with you? Just to be safe.”

“No, Harry, I would prefer not to have you on my date with me.”

“I’ll just be in the background. If he turns out to be a decent guy, I’ll go away.”

Y/N tilted her head and gave him a look that said ‘Really?’ sarcastically, of course.

“Please?” He didn’t know what else to say.

“You don’t see me asking to go with you on your dates!” said Y/N.

“That’s because I know who I’m going on a date with?” He laughed dryly. “Also, my ‘dates’ aren’t actual dates. It’s just sex.”

“Said that to all the girls who came up to me to ask why you ghosted them.”

“Well…” He thought for a moment. “I didn’t have feelings for them, so it was better to rip the bandage off.”

Y/N let out a laugh, but he didn’t think she found it funny. “I’m not getting relationship advice from someone who switches out his Barbies and skips town like an asshole outlaw.”

“Hey!” he said. “But I like that…asshole outlaw.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and sat down at her desk to start doing her makeup. Harry guessed it was his cue to leave, but he didn’t want to just give up like that.

“I’m not giving you relationship advice,” he said.

“Oh, you’re still here,” she sighed, her back still turned to him.

He went on anyway. “I’m just saying that it’s not safe to go on a blind date in London. People get stabbed left and right in this hell hole.”

“I’ll be fine. Besides, if he turns out to be a creep, I’ll text you.”

That sounded more reassuring, but not exactly what Harry wanted to hear. “Okay,” he breathed. “Keep me updated. Stay safe.”

“I’ll get condoms.”

“Ew, I did not ask for that information.” Why did she have to say that? Now all he could think about was her having sex with this stranger?

Y/N glanced at him over her shoulder and smiled. “I’m just kidding. I’ll go slow. I’m a relationship type of girl, Harry.”

“Good…to know.” He awkwardly nodded. “I’ll leave you to do your thing.”

“Thank you. Shut the door on your way out, please.”

He rolled his eyes and shut the door behind him.

___♥___

“She was very excited about her new hat,” he murmured.

In his daze, he heard Layla ask, “What?”

“Y/N got a new hat. I should’ve complimented her.”

“Are you seriously crying over a hat?”

“I’m not crying.” He sniffled. “I’m just…cold.”

“Do you want my coat?” asked Niall. He loved Niall. Niall was cool.

Harry blinked up at the blurry outlines of his two friends, backlit by the pink neon light of the club. Layla looked like a disco ball now and he found it amusing.

“I want to go home with Y/N,” he slurred, thinking he sounded quite robotic.

“Our Uber should be here in five minutes,” Niall reassured Harry while pulling him back to his feet. “But we’ll have a conversation about this when you’re sober.”

“About what?”

“About the fact that you don’t want to admit you’re in love with Y/N.”

“No, I’m not…” It took him a moment to get the words out, “I mean, if I was capable of love, she’d be the only one that I love. But since I’m not, I’m…not.”

“That makes no sense.”

“It kinda is,” Layla chimed in. “Love is a lie, anyway. Also, you’re always whining about needing your own space. You and Y/N would never work.”

“Layla!”

“What? I’m trying to talk some sense into him. I think he just wants her because she doesn’t want him and he has a massive ego.”

“I’m still here.”

“Yeah, and I said what I said,” Layla told him. “Besides, moving on is always easy for you to do. You’ll forget about Y/N the next time you lay eyes on a hot girl.”

Harry would like to say that it wasn’t true, but maybe Layla had a point. He knew his nature, and Y/N didn’t deserve someone like that.

“I’m a relationship type of girl, Harry.”

They said when it’s right, you’ll know, but nothing had ever felt so wrong. He supposed the real reason he was so upset was because Y/N seemed to know what she wanted, and he didn’t. In his head, he was cursing the space that he needed and the doubt that he had for himself. If he just knew what he wanted–

“Our Uber is here,” Niall said as a black car pulled over in front of them, headlights blinding.

He heard Layla say, “Let’s stop inviting him out.”

He wanted to tell her to stop talking about him when he was right here, but now that he was in the comfortable backseat instead of the pavement, sleep quickly enveloped him.

___♥___

Dreams.

Harry was dreaming. Well, he must be, because just a moment ago, he was in the Uber with his friends, and now he was sitting on the sofa with Y/N and it was morning again. He felt fine, not a single drop of alcohol in his system. She was wearing her joggers and a massive hoodie. While she perused the book in her hands, the sun from the window behind her made it look like she was made of light, and he sat and stared.

For the first time, it felt so simple. He knew what he wanted, and it was to hold her for a while and tell her how much he loved her hair, her stare, and her sense of belief in the good in the world and, well, in him.

It was the sound of the key turn in the hallway that made him start awake. The room was dark and he was covered in sweat. Was she at the door? Was she okay?

No, just his neighbour coming home.

And so he sat there with his head in his hands, wishing he could go back to the dream.

“You’re alive.”

The voice made him jump. Y/N stood by the kitchen door, backlit by the kitchen light, looking just like she had in his dream.

“When did you get home?” he asked, catching his breath.

She seemed amused by his reaction. “Before you. Niall and Layla dropped you off.”

Fuck.

“Did they say something to you?”

“Nope. Oh, Layla did mention you’d need to pay for her vintage shoes, though. I saw what you’d done to them.” She made a face. “I assume that would cost you a whole month of night-outs.”

Harry kneaded his temples to ease away the headache while trying not to make eye contact with her. The last topic he would want to discuss now was Layla. “How was the date?”

“It was alright,” she said and sat down beside him. “He was nice.”

He glanced at her. “And?”

She shrugged. “Friends vibe.”

Harry had to fight the urge to punch the air and start dancing in circles around the room. With a straight face, he said, “That sucks.”

“Oh, well, I’m not giving up that easily. I’ll meet someone,” she said with a smile as if she knew something that he didn’t, and Harry didn’t like that at all.

“Go shower. You stink,” she said and stood up.

If she thought he would let this end so easily, she didn’t know him at all.

“Wait.”

“Hmm?”

“You said…friends vibe. Was it…like you and me?”

It took her a few seconds to process the question. “No.” She shook her head. “Nothing like you and me. I don’t know…we’re different.”

“How different?”

“Sometimes, I want to strangle you. Other times, I like being around you.” And when she saw the look he was giving her, she went on, “You do have a lot of redeemable qualities, Harry. You’re like a likeable villain.”

Likeable or not, Harry didn’t want to be a villain. The villain never gets the girl.

“Nah, I’m the main guy.”

Her lips curled. “The type that should be killed off but lives?”

“Yeah, an anti-hero. You wouldn’t want me killed. I could still melt your world, not like those boring Ken dolls out there.”

“See, whenever you say things like that I want to strangle you,” she scoffed, shaking her head. “Good night, Harry.”

Harry said nothing as he watched her walk away. His argumentative, antithetical dream girl.

___♥___

"Hits Different"

I washed my hands of us at the club You made a mess of me I pictured you with other girls in love Then threw up on the street Like waiting for a bus that never shows You just start walkin' on They say that if it's right, you know Each bar plays our song Nothing has ever felt so wrong

Oh, my, love is a lie Shit my friends say to get me by It hits different It hits different this time Catastrophic blues Movin' on was always easy for me to do It hits different It hits different 'cause it's you

('Cause it's you)

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost Rip the band-aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw Freedom felt like summer then on the coast Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings And I never don't cry (And I never don't cry) at the bar Yeah, my sadness is contagious (My sadness is contagious) I slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car I stopped receiving invitations

Oh, my, love is a lie Shit my friends say to get me by It hits different It hits different this time Catastrophic blues Movin' on was always easy for me to do It hits different It hits different 'cause it's you

('Cause it's you)

I find the artifacts, cried over a hat Cursed the space that I needed I trace the evidence, make it make some sense Why the wound is still bleedin' You were the one that I loved Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief In the good in the world, you once believed in me And I felt you and I held you for a while Bet I could still melt your world Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway Is that your key in the door? Is it okay? Is it you? Or have they come to take me away? To take me away

Oh, my, love is a lie Shit my friends say to get me by It hits different (It hits different) It hits different this time Catastrophic blues Movin' on was always easy for me to do It hits different (It hits different) It hits different 'cause it's you

Oh, my, love is a lie Shit my friends say to get me by 'Cause it's you Catastrophic blues Movin' on was always easy for me to do It hits different (Yeah) It hits different 'cause it's you

[foxes-that-run]

do you think Hits Different is haylor coded?

Hi, to me it is, though I think it is ambiguous as I think Taylor's feelings might have been. Aaron indicated it was an earlier song on Midnights. It was possibly written not very long after Renegade.

Timeline

Aaron mentioned it as one of the songs they wrote together, he mentioned it when saying they wrote High Infidelity in L.A. after Taylor saw Harry at the 2021 Grammy's. He mentioned The Great War also. (31 mins in Broken Record podcast)

I guess this somewhat depends on one's view of the Joever timeline and the Haylor aspects of Folklore. At that time Harry wrote As it was and LOML which are about moving on and there was a lot of reporting around OW.

Video

In this pretty unsettling short she wore an Opal, Taylor's worn Opals since 2014 including the Cardigan video and says 'Opal eyes' in Ivy.

Lyrics

I washed my hands of us at the club You made a mess of me I pictured you with other girls in love Then threw up on the street Like waiting for a bus that never shows You just start walkin' on They say that if it's right, you know Each bar plays our song Nothing has ever felt so wrong

Taylor has been a mess in:

All You Had To Do Was Stay: I’ve been picking up the pieces of the mess you made

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: I’m a mess but I’m the mess that you wanted

Illicit Affairs: Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

Also the only other bus lyric is The 1: I thought I saw you at the bus stop, I didn’t, though.

Bars feature a lot on Reputation, so many associate them with Joe, (who she started dating after a lot of the album was recorded.) however to me most of those songs are Haylor.

Oh my, love is a lie Shit my friends say to get me by It hits different It hits different this time Catastrophic blues Movin' on was always easy for me to do It hits different It hits different 'cause it's you ('Cause it's you)

The Catastrophic blues, to me are most similar to Peace: "If your cascade ocean wave blues come." but I hear the lyric as Taylor is depressed.

'Movin' on was always easy for me to do' indicates Harry to me because, he is someone she hasn't been able to move on from because of the cyclical nature of it:

End Game "We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't" and "And I can't let you go, your handprint's on my soul"

DBATC: "Chandelier's still flickering here / 'Cause I can't pretend it's ok when it's not"

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost Rip the Band-Aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw Freedom felt like summer then on the coast Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings And I never don't cry (no, I never don't cry) at the bar Yeah, my sadness is contagious (my sadness is contagious) I slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car I stopped receiving invitations

Taylor has also described Harry is irreplaceable, not a switchable Ken:

Question..?:"Cause I don't remember who I was / Before you painted all my nights / A color I've searched for since" and "Does it feel like everything's just like / Second best after that meteor strike

Ready for it: "And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor / Every lover known in comparison is a failure"

Gold Rush: "And the coastal town / We wandered 'round had never / Seen a love as pure as it"

Finally the drunk, slurred name lyrics, (hard to slur Joe), and

Cruel Summer: I’m drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar

Death By A Thousand Cuts: I get drunk but it’s not enough ‘cause the morning comes and you’re not my baby

I find the artifacts, cried over a hat Cursed the space that I needed I trace the evidence, make it make some sense Why the wound is still bleedin' You were the one that I loved Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief In the good in the world, you once believed in me And I felt you and I held you for a while Bet I could still melt your world Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

Joe's worn a few baseball caps, though Taylor has also referenced Harry's hats before. In early interviews Niall said he wore them to hide his hair in public, so he wears them a lot. Including this green beanie in the 22 MV.

Bleeding is a Haylor Theme

Trace the evidence / Wrinkle in time reminds me of Right where you left me, "They expected me to find somewhere / Some perspective, but I sat and stared"

Hair, Stare and Sense of belief describe Harry well:

Hair (Style: long hair, Shake it off: hella good hair, Gold Rush: Hair falling into place)

Stare (Style: daydream look in your eye, Delicate: look into your eyes, Exile: eyes add insult to injury, Gold Rush: Twinkling eyes)

Harry has a belief in the good in the world, Joe may too, we don't really know him.

Finally the Argumentative, antithetical dream girl - reminds me of Gold Rush "At dinner parties, I call you out on your contrarian shit". Harry describes Taylor in Sweet Creature "It's hard when we argue We're both stubborn, I know" Kiwi "Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect" and Woman "I told you, but I know you never listen."

I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway Is that your key in the door? Is it okay? Is it you? Or have they come to take me away? To take me away

Finally, hallways and doors both feature a lot in Haylor songs, here the muse has a key. I guess this also depends on a perspective of the pandemic time, I don't find it a stretch to think H had a key to Taylors home. As far as I wonder if she even has a literal key anymore...

Have they come to take me away reminds me of:

Wonderland: And in the end in Wonderland, we both went mad

Say Don’t Go: The waiting is a sadness fading into madness

Don’t Blame Me: "For you I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I would lose my mind" and "Don’t blame me, love made me crazy"

I Wish You Would: This mad, mad love makes you come running

Blank Space: Magic, madness, heaven, sin

[monsteronthehill]

oh my, love is a lie, shit my friends say to get me by it hits different it hits different this time catastrophic blues movin' on was always easy for me to do it hits different it hits different 'cause it's you

[bosesmikas]

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different

It hits different 'cause it's you

Gwikki (Nikki's pov) - Hits Different (Taylor Swift)

[jessss-ica]

movin’ on was always easy for me to do

it hits different, it hits different ’cause it’s you

[ohdorothea]

This tournament is being run by and for queer fans so please keep that in mind! Homophobes will be blocked on sight <3 More polls here and more info here! Lyrics for the songs and FAQ under the cut!

Hits Different lyrics

I washed my hands of us at the club

You made a mess of me

I pictured you with other girls in love

Then threw up on the street

Like waiting for a bus that never shows

You just start walkin' on

They say that if it's right, you know

Each bar plays our song

Nothing has ever felt so wrong

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different

It hits different 'cause it's you

('Cause it's you)

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost

Rip the band-aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw

Freedom felt like summer then on the coast

Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

And I never don't cry (And I never don't cry) at the bar

Yeah, my sadness is contagious (My sadness is contagious)

I slur your name 'til someone puts me in a car

I stopped receiving invitations

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different

It hits different 'cause it's you

('Cause it's you)

I find the artifacts, cried over a hat

Cursed the space that I needed

I trace the evidence, make it make some sense

Why the wound is still bleedin'

You were the one that I loved

Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough

A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes

This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy

Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief

In the good in the world, you once believed in me

And I felt you and I held you for a while

Bet I could still melt your world

Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway

Is that your key in the door?

Is it okay? Is it you?

Or have they come to take me away?

To take me away

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different (It hits different)

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different (It hits different)

It hits different 'cause it's you

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

'Cause it's you

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different (Yeah)

It hits different 'cause it's you

🫶🫶🫶

Question...? lyrics (I remember)

Good girl, sad boy

Big city, wrong choices

We had one thing going on

I swear that it was something

'Cause I don't remember who I was before you

Painted all my nights

A color I have searched for since

But one thing after another

Fuckin' situations, circumstances

Miscommunications and I

Have to say

By the way

I just may like some explanations

Can I ask you a question?

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room

And every single one of your friends was making fun of you

But fifteen seconds later they were clapping too?

Then what did you do?

Did you leave her house in the middle of the night? Oh

Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight, oh

When she said it was too much?

Do you wish you could still touch her?

It's just a question

Half-moon eyes, bad surprise

Did you realize out of time?

She was on your mind

With some dickhead guy

That you saw that night

But you were on something

It was one drink after another

Fuckin' politics and gender roles

And you're not sure and I don't know

Got swept away in the gray

I just may like to have a conversation

Can I ask you a question?

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room

And every single one of your friends was making fun of you

But fifteen seconds later they were clapping too?

Then what did you do?

Did you leave her house in the middle of the night? Oh

Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight, oh

When she said it was too much?

Do you wish you could still touch her?

It's just a question

Does it feel like everything's just like second best after that meteor strike?

And what's that that I heard, that you're still with her?

That's nice, I'm sure that's what's suitable

And right

But tonight

Can I ask you a question? (Can I ask you a question?)

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room? (In a crowded room)

And every single one of your friends was making fun of you (You, making fun of you)

But fifteen seconds later they were clapping too?

Then what did you do?

Did you leave her house in the middle of the night? Oh

Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight, oh

When she said it was too much?

Do you wish you could still touch her?

It's just a question 🫶🫶🫶

The question is which song is queerer to you! Queerer can mean whatever you want it to mean; you might consider a song queer because you think it was written that way, or because of Swiftian lore. It might be queer to you because of how you relate it to your own life. Maybe you think from a purely literary standpoint the lyrics have queer themes; maybe you're just thinking about vibes!!!

[katherinewinchester13]

Oh, my, love is a lie

Shit my friends say to get me by

It hits different

It hits different this time

Catastrophic blues

Movin' on was always easy for me to do

It hits different

It hits different 'cause it's you

('Cause it's you)

I find the artifacts, cried over a hat

Cursed the space that I needed

I trace the evidence, make it make some sense

Why the wound is still bleedin'

You were the one that I loved

Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough

A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes

This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy

Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief

In the good in the world, you once believed in me

And I felt you and I held you for a while

Bet I could still melt your world

Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

I heard your key turn in the door down the hallway

Is that your key in the door?

Is it okay? Is it you?

Or have they come to take me away?

To take me away

★∻∹⋰⋰ ☆∻∹⋰⋰ ★∻∹⋰⋰ ☆∻∹⋰⋰★∻∹⋰⋰

★★★★✩

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ °° ∆ -------- ••• ------

Complete 💯

MATURE

Words:12,055

╱╲❀╱╲╱╲❀╱╲╱╲❀╱╲╱╲❀╱╲╱╲❀╱╲╱╲

✨SHIPS✨ 💙

Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz

╲╱❀╲╱╲╱❀╲╱╲╱❀╲╱╲╱❀╲╱╲╱❀╲╱╲╱

DESCRIPTION

the one where Buck thinks he and Eddie are just friends with benefits so he pushes Eddie to date other people because he’s an idiot.

▅▄▃▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▂▃▄▅

[chanlixsbabygirl]

Hits Different | Lee Felix

Pairing: f!reader x Lee Felix Word Count: 1.7k Warning(s): mentions of excessive drinking (please be safe)

Oh my, love is a lie, shit my friends say to get me by. It hits different. It hits different this time. Catastrophic blues, movin’ on was always easy for me to do. It hits different. It hits different ‘cause it’s you.

Boys came and went. That was something that never seemed to change. One came and another followed and they never stayed for long. Not that you really minded. It was like ice cream. Eating the same flavor every time got boring after a while. Sometimes they moved on first, sometimes you did. Sometimes you had to skip town and block a number. Sometimes your number never even got saved in their phone.

Until Felix.

You were out at a bar. You told your friends that if Felix texted, you weren’t going to answer. Accountability, you told yourself. It wasn’t until you were walking home that he crossed your mind again. It stopped you in the middle of the sidewalk and you nearly vomited. What if he was out tonight? What if he was taking some other girl home? You didn’t like the way your stomach churned at the thought.

Felix didn’t text you. You stayed up late staring at the messages he’d sent you recently. Why not tonight? He usually had this night of the week off. Maybe there was a boys’ night? You should stop thinking about it. It was going to make your head hurt more than the killer hangover would in the morning.

You went out the next night and drank a little too much a little too fast. It was maybe an hour before you started talking about Felix. The little ray of sunshine that was also a storm cloud. You’d only been out for a couple of hours when one of your friends put you in a cab and sent you home. You didn’t make it to bed. You were laying on the couch when you heard the knock. It was probably one of your friends making sure you were home and not dead in a trunk somewhere, right?

You wobbled to the door, feeling the effects of the alcohol. You were almost certain your drinks had been spiked when you opened the door and Felix was standing there, checking his phone. Yeah, like he was actually at the door. You were definitely drugged. This was just a bad (maybe not the worst) trip.

“Y/N.”

The low purr of his voice brought you back to the very real man standing at your door, watching you sway back and forth. His eyes were focused on your face, but he could very much tell how unsteady you were. Everything became very real when his warm hand pressed into the small of your back, leading you back to the couch you had stumbled away from to let him in.

“What have you done, Y/N? You should take better care of yourself.”

“They shouldn’t kill off the main guy…”

“You need to drink water; you aren’t making any sense.”

“In movies, they shouldn’t kill off the main guy. He leaves the girl blue when he’s gone.”

Felix pressed the water bottle into your hand, brows knitting together at the sentences falling from your lips. He wasn’t quite sure what you meant.

“The bar kept playing that song. The one you played in the car the first time we got dinner.”

He was trying to make sense of the random bits of information you were giving him, and it was not going well. He could tell that something was agitating you, but he didn’t know what it was. First it was killing off the main guys in movies and now it was a song he had played in the car once.

“Why are you here? Didn’t text me last night…”

“I seem to have heard that you told your friends at the bar last night that you wouldn’t answer, even if I did.”

“I…you weren’t there last night.”

“A friend texted me.”

“I almost threw up in the street last night.”

“You need to quit drinking-”

“Thinking about you with another girl.”

“So you were thinking about me?”

“Didn’t want you taking her home…”

“Who, love?”

“The girl.”

He couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped his lips. You had convinced yourself of this non-existent girl he was taking home. He had been up half the night baking with Seungmin while Minho had tortured them and Jeongin with a horror movie.

“I wasn’t with a girl last night, love. Not tonight either. Just you.”

“I don’t fall in love. I never let them stay very long.”

“Really? Do you drunkenly ask for them until your friends send you home as well?”

“No. It’s different this time.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s you.”

Felix sat there in the quiet, processing what you had said. Everyone always said you lost your inhibitions when you were drunk, but he wasn’t sure it didn’t make you say things you didn’t mean.

“That’s silly.”

“It’s different because it’s you. It might always be you.”

That was the last thing you said before you finally passed out. You were still in your clothes, and you were now half draped over him on the couch. He kept replaying your words in his head. It’s different because it’s you. It might always be you. Surely you were just drunk and weren’t thinking straight.

He felt your hands, and he thought you were awake. But your eyes were still closed, and your breathing was still the same. He let your sleeping hands touch his face and his hair, and finally wrap around his own. You were warm. So incredibly warm.

You started mumbling in your sleep, and he tried to decipher it. “Argumentative.” How you got that out while asleep and drunk, he didn’t know. But you weren’t wrong. The singular time you’d come to the dorms, you had gotten into a heated debate with Seungmin about what K-Drama was the best coming out at the time. “Antithetical.” Felix had to look that one up. He was curious why you knew it, let alone were saying it in your sleep. “Dream girl.” The antithetical clicked when dream girl followed. The opposite of a dream girl.

“You could never be an antithetical dream girl, love.”

He kissed your temple before finally drifting off to sleep. You were no longer draped over him when he woke up. In fact, you were nowhere to be seen. He looked around, bleary eyed. After a moment, he realized he could hear water running. You were in the shower. That was good. It would probably help with the killer hangover he was sure you’d be nursing.

You emerged from the bathroom in a swirl of steam, dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, which were much more comfortable than the dress you had slept in. Felix’s hair was still messy from sleep, and his clothes wrinkled from the awkward position he’d slept in.

“Good morning, Y/N.”

“Morning.”

“Head hurt?”

“No shit.”

“I’ll make you breakfast.”

“You don’t-”

“I don’t have to. I want to.”

20 minutes later, there were pancakes sitting in front of you and Felix was still standing at the stove. You ate in silence, but the food definitely did help with the minor sense of nausea that had been present since you’d woken up strewn across him. He finally finished with the batter, sitting down next to you with the rest of the pancakes.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“About what?”

“Should I make a list? Getting drunk at a bar and one of your friends begging me to come see you. Telling me that you didn’t fall in love. Except it was different because it was me. Falling asleep draped across me on your couch. Calling yourself argumentative and an antithetical dream girl in your sleep.”

He could see your expression drop as he listed off the things the night before had let out. He was usually all for saving face and not hurting someone’s feelings, but he needed to know what was happening, and you were the only one who could answer that for him.

“Oh, and convincing yourself that I took a girl home the night before last and almost throwing up in the street over it.”

Your face burned at the details you very much had not intended to tell him, but apparently had in your heavily intoxicated state. Damn that stupid bar and your stupid imagination. You were so stuck on how mortified you were that you weren’t paying attention until Felix reached over to wipe a bit of butter from your lip. The touch sent you reeling.

“I…well, first, I expected you to text me the night before last. And I told my friends I wasn’t going to answer because I never let guys stay as long as I’ve let you. And then I was walking home, and it was too late for buses to come, but I had only had one drink, so I figured it would be fine. I wasn’t far from my apartment. And…and I couldn’t help but wonder if the reason you hadn’t texted was because you had gone out with some other girl and it made me feel sick thinking about it. And my friends were already planning to go out last night and I was supposed to go too and I…I drank more than I should. And they kept playing that song. All I could think about was you. And I guess someone sent me home and I didn’t make it to bed. Then you were there and I thought maybe someone had spiked my drink but you were here and…hell if I know what any of what I said when I was drunk meant.”

“Did you mean it when you said it was different this time. Because it was me?”

“I…I think I did. I’ve never worried about a guy finding someone else before. It’s always been easy to move on.”

“You’re not an antithetical dream girl.”

“What?”

“That’s what you called yourself in your sleep.”

“I can agree that you’re argumentative, but not an antithetical dream girl.”

“You had to come check on me when I was very drunk on a Saturday night. I don’t think that really screams dream girl.”

“I think about you in my dreams.”

“Those are nightmares.”

“What about my daydreams?”

“Daynightmares?”

“Never. Usually they end with me getting a kiss, and I certainly like that ending.”

[igotnoplanstomorrownight]

movin' on was always easy for me to do.

it hits different. it hits different 'cause it's you.

[ryuubff]

ok im at school listening to taylor swift's til dawn album and i shouldnt be making this post because i literally have work piling up on me but im thinking about how the lyrics of hits different. fits with sol. specifically the chorus when:

Catastrophic blues Movin' on was always easy for me to do It hits different It hits different 'cause it's you

especially if he's had to get over so many friends and lovers in the past lord knows he most likely started acting indifferent over them; although we know he still finds goodbyes to be rather difficult. so when he eventually has to move on from mc when they die like For Real perhaps it may be his breaking point..................

IDK im in angsty mood as of late thanks to lesson 14 and truthfully i have more to say in other taylor's songs that i have for him in my playlist but i think this was short enough that i can still write in between doing work LOL

edit:

THERE'S ALSO THE LINE

Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief In the good in the world, you once believed in me And I felt you and I held you for a while

BECUASE..... BECAUSE WE TRULY DID BELIEVE IN HIM!!!!!!!!!!! Im gonna go fall apart bye