#MEM..... who else am i gonna write @ you

[anieelmo]

Dear You

Okay honestly, I don't know what to say to you anymore. I'm at a disbelief that you're denying so much of what's being said. I honestly want to know why. But at the same time, I don't even want to bother. But since I start this letter, I'm just gonna flat out and say it:

why are you lying ?! are you trying to save face from what happened over 10 years ago?!

I'm honestly just really upset with you for just not accepting that what happened happened. Am I that shameful for you to have even remotely wanted to be with for even just a moment?

There are SO MANY PEOPLE that can confirm the things that happened between us. I just don't understand why you would deny everything that happened between us.

Let's be honest. We liked each other at one point. We started talking while YOU WERE STILL WITH SOMEONE. That someone was even MY FRIEND. The only reason why we never did anything or ever went forward with our feelings because instead of breaking up with your girlfriend, you ended up cheating on her with someone else.

That someone else? WAS ALSO MY CLOSEST FRIEND. The fact that SHE TEXTS ME AND WRITES TO ME ABOUT HOW SORRY SHE WAS FOR KISSING YOU AND GOING OUT WITH YOU WHEN SHE KNEW I HAD FEELINGS FOR YOU IS SOMETHING.

YOU EVEN CALLED ME AND SAID SORRY FOR KISSING HER. I gave you that ultimatum to break up with your girlfriend if you wanted anything to progress with me. Was it really that hard for you to just tell her that you had feelings for someone else that you went for another person who was willing to be a homewrecker?

I am honestly not even mad that you kissed my close friend instead of breaking up with your girlfriend. I'm quite relieved because that gave me a reason to just move on. And I did.

When you realized that I wasn't going to pursue you anymore, you started telling me that the guys that I decided to go for aren't right for me? You were so concerned about who i was going to date especially when I had to guys to decide between.

Were you upset that you weren't one of them or something? But at the same time, why did it matter to you.

Guess what, I married the one guy you told me you didn't want me to be with. We even have a family together and a great home.

Now that this is happening, you're going to deny to your wife that we've ever had a thing? That we never had one to begin with? Then all those apologies from you and that other person were just a hoax? I guess.

It's just crazy because even my significant other now deeply remembers what happened between us also. Because at one point he didn't want me talking to you anymore. Because at one point, he knew that you and I had a talk that we'd leave everything between us in the past. We had that agreement. We talked sincerely about it. BUT I GUESS I JUST MADE THAT ALL UP RIGHT?!

After talking to your wife, I made the decision to respect your choice in denying what ever happened between us. I chose to make myself look like the obsessed fool. To the point where it seems like I have a mental issue and an obsessive complex. You guys even have a damn running joke that I'm your other girlfriend?

HARDY HAR HAR. Screw you then. I hope everything works out for you in the end. Thanks for the mems. This is where I'll leave you.

Don't worry about me ever making things up about us. Because at this point, it really didn't happen.

Again, I wish you the best of luck.

[vincore-blog]

       ‘ You’ve heard of me? ’  the gossip not so unreliable for his modest achievements in building an unwanted reputation of taming wild beasts with scales; dragons. The process a trial and error at first---now however...encountering prone reptiles with high maintenance attention spans likewise to a household feline---he breathed their language and lived their gestures. A part of him lives to watch the sky and clouds while shouting at the top of his lungs; unbridled. Posture straightens, a hand falls coyly against his hip. Lips plucked into an challenging snark; 

        ‘ From what lot gave you such an impression? ’ / @halfclever​

[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: Might just turn the dodgy cooker on and gas us all Fraze: Dramatic Fraze: Let's leg it before then, like Bea: Not dramatic just real Bea: how many card games can we play before it stops raining Fraze: So come on Fraze: I know you ain't put off by water falling from the fucking sky Bea: You think of a reason we need to be out there then Bea: there's no French exiting rn Fraze: Don't need one, everyone's pissing me off & I'm sick of this fucking caravan, so are you Fraze: End of story Bea: And I'm gonna calm you down, yeah? Fraze: You don't need to go into your tactics but yeah Bea: Don't make me laugh Fraze: Why not? Bea: 'cos there's literally nothing funny about being stuck in here with this lot Bea: wish they'd have let us stay home Fraze: Leave with me then Fraze: Fuck overthinking it Bea: Of course I wanna Bea: where are we even going, actually Bea: never mind where we say we are Fraze: Home, another seaside shithole, round the corner Fraze: Does it matter Fraze: If it ain't inside here, I'll take it Bea: [Tess being like help me make lunch or something] Bea: Ha Bea: when you decide lemme know, have to meet you there Fraze: [is the definition of a moody teen rn soz everyone] Fraze: Or you could just come with me now Bea: Sure, when you're the one that's gotta tell your mum no, we'll do that Bea: what's five more minutes of hell Fraze: [Storms out because the mature response like soz if anyone tries to ask him where he's going or wtf cos just gonna be a rude hoe] Bea: save me a 🚬 Fraze: You can have 'em all, my lighter's fucking dead Bea: least you got a valid reason to go shop then Fraze: Cheers for the positive spin, babe Bea: ☀ when there ain't none Bea: I know Bea: been said so many times Fraze: Don't make me laugh Bea: Why not, you're free Bea: temporarily Fraze: 'Cause I'm not in the mood to shout 'free at last' or some shit even if I am Bea: Poor baby Bea: not gonna feel bad for you 'til I've made these kids stupidly specific sandwich orders Fraze: It don't mean you've gotta take the piss 'til then Bea: I ain't Fraze: Whatever Fraze: I don't wanna kick off at you, do I Bea: I know Bea: it's shit Bea: but we can't be throwing tantrums like we're their age, like Fraze: If they wanna treat me like a fucking kid instead of letting me stay home then why the fuck shouldn't I act like one Bea: 'cos I don't wanna fuck some whiny kid, do I? Bea: Think on Fraze: Alright I'll come back & help prepare lunch like I'm some old bloke Fraze: Fuck off Bea: Yeah, that's my type in a one Bea: twat Fraze: What do you fucking want, Bea? Bea: No, what do you want Bea: 'cos not kicking off at me is bullshit Fraze: & you reckon I'm the one who's skilled at turning any shit into a fight, yeah? Fraze: Have a word with yourself Bea: Seriously Bea: I was just trying to talk to you without going on about how shitty we all know this is already Fraze: Seriously, I really like you but you really wind me up Bea: Hardly gonna take that personal Bea: everything winds you up Fraze: Yeah well Fraze: Fucking genetic probably Bea: If you're happy with that excuse Bea: don't seem it Fraze: Well done working that out, like Bea: hardly the enigma code but tah Fraze: Still, credit where it's due Bea: So sweet Fraze: Course, get told that all the time Bea: doesn't SOUND like something your mum'd say Bea: but I'll take your word for it Fraze: So trusting Bea: Any particular reason I shouldn't be? Fraze: Loads but none of them are 'cause of me Bea: Yeah Bea: don't need to take the convo there Bea: do we Fraze: I'm just saying Fraze: I am pretty godlike but I didn't create the world, like Bea: 😂 Bea: You're lucky I don't have friends to send all the stupid shit you say to Fraze: You wouldn't even if you did Fraze: You ain't like that Bea: Lucky you Fraze: Yeah Fraze: You finished these sandwiches yet or what? Fraze: Really fucked your Saturday job prospects if you ain't Bea: Rude but can't say I'm too gutted Bea: if the punters were even half as annoying as my sister Bea: you still want me to come Fraze: Do you need me to say I miss you Fraze: You're meant to be smart Bea: I am Bea: why do you think I'm waiting for you to say it Fraze: Fair Bea: Go on then Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: I miss you Fraze: Tell my ma you're going to find me & then do it Bea: Alright Bea: Be right there Bea: where are you though Fraze: Went the shop Fraze: & didn't get banned Fraze: See? So grown up now Bea: Impressive Bea: don't change too much thoug Fraze: 'Course not Fraze: Basically perfect as I am Bea: 😏 Bea: Shut up Fraze: You know you don't want me to Bea: Maybe not Fraze: I've got loads to say to you Bea: Yeah? Fraze: Come find out Fraze: Hear me out Bea: I am Fraze: Good Bea: [Show up like I'm listening] Fraze: [Gives her sweets he just bought cos you don't have to say everything with words and he did miss her & he's sorry for being a dick 99% of the time] Bea: [just happy about this 'cos unexpected and pure] Fraze: [kisses her obvs] Bea: [kissing back with feeling 'cos missed you too] Fraze: [then lights a 🚬 for her cos she said save me one and he ain't forgotten, always listening this boy] Bea: [when it's so needed lmao, 'you're the best'] Fraze: [when you wanna stay in the good books so you telling her how much you've been thinking about her and what you've been thinking] Bea: [when you're pouty 'there's no fucking privacy here'] Fraze: [you can literally see the cogs turning because he's trying to think of where they can find some. 'When the rain stops they'll all fuck off out & we can head back in without being seen'] Bea: ['has to stop eventually, yeah' smiles, 'reckon we can pretend you got lost on the way to your room and ended up in mine or?'] Fraze: [Smiles too because actually likes the rain for the mems and the fact there's literally nobody about. 'Nah but there's no need to pretend you're the only fucker I want around me this holiday, not a secret, like'] Bea: ['exactly, they're not reckoning it's 'cos I'm so special, like' rolls her eyes] Fraze: ['you are though'] Fraze: [Gives her a LOOK and it's not a pisstaking one] Bea: [when you don't know what to say or do so you're just like 'see how you feel when you're not stuck in a tin can with that lot'] Fraze: ['you reckon I'm gonna change my mind, yeah?'] Bea: [shrugs in a 'let's see' kinda way but is pulling herself closer to him] Fraze: [kisses her because he won't & we all know it but ILY curse is trying to get me] Bea: [just about to be like wanna go loiter in the arcades or something when the cars pull up like get in we're going cinema/aquarium/bowling whatever rainy day activity and you're just there like what did they seeeeeeee] Fraze: [is literally 😒 and trying to be like we're alright here cheers but who is listening cos you ain't mcvickers you can't run totally wild without nobody giving a shit soz] Bea: [getting in the car like lord jesus help me, poor Joe, least you have each other] Fraze: [literally fuming because you can't get up to anything like you're JJ unlucky lads so 🚬 out the window to annoy your mum oh boy you're gonna get a slap] Bea: this is wholesome family fun Fraze: Don't Fraze: Fucking hell Bea: you know, have something to write in our 'what I did on my holiday' diaries Bea: 👍 Fraze: There's shit I'd rather be writing Fraze: Even if Miss would rather not read it Bea: 😂 Bea: Might be into it Bea: more likely ring the social but you know Fraze: Place your bets Bea: I feel like I'm Rocky's age rn Fraze: I ain't fucking having loads more days of them treating us like we are Bea: I know Bea: what you gonna do Fraze: I dunno yet Fraze: Loads of time to work it out while we're stuck doing this bullshit though Bea: True Bea: get my thinking cap on Fraze: What if like Bea: Go on Fraze: I was just thinking how much good came out of us watching the kid last time Fraze: If we take the baby my ma won't care what we do Fraze: When it ain't raining he needs to go for walks and shit Bea: That's a good idea Bea: get to pretend we're being helpful Bea: let us do that all we want Fraze: I dunno how I'm gonna get her to think I give a shit about this one but could work Bea: 'cos you're so mature now Bea: probably dash that cig out though Fraze: You want a go on it first? It's gonna be a long fucking day Bea: Yeah Bea: may as well Bea: least we don't have to try and keep this secret and all Fraze: My ma can reckon she's worked all mine out if that's as far as she gets Fraze: [Shameless excuse for her to lean out of the window with him and them to be close for as long as the 🚬 lasts] Bea: Bit better, like Fraze: Yeah Fraze: [At least a small mercy if Fearghal is driving them aside from no annoying kids there'd be some fucking jams playing lol] Bea: [If y'all ain't picking up on these vibes you're dumb af lmao like hello] Fraze: [the looks that'd be going back and forth because stuck in this car and nothing else they can do] Bea: You're so blatant 😏 Fraze: Shut up Fraze: I ain't Bea: and so easy to wind up Fraze: If you wanna see blatant, watch this Fraze: [Does something risky and saucy like boy no] Bea: Fraze Fraze: Bea Bea: What are you doing Fraze: Proving a point Fraze: I can always be more blatant Fraze: & you're just as easy to wind up Bea: Dickhead Bea: this is beyond blatant Fraze: And you ain't mad about it Bea: they'll be more than that if we get caught right now Fraze: Who's catching us? My da's driving & Joe ain't on the same planet Bea: I hate you, you know Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: I know you don't Bea: Okay so I don't but Fraze: But what? Are you gonna try and tell me you hate this Bea: Nah Fraze: There's no but then, is there? Bea: [just gives him a look] Fraze: [Gives her one back] Bea: Are we sure I don't hate you? Fraze: You tell me, babe Fraze: [Boy you better stop, getting so cocky about this sneaking around life] Bea: [When one of you needs to know better but you don't] Fraze: [Makes me lol because ruster are exactly the same in the future, Oh Bea you can't say shit my dear but good luck] Bea: When we get there Bea: come with me okay Fraze: 'Course Bea: I can't wait but that's your fault so Fraze: Much as I like winding you up, I ain't gonna make you Bea: Don't Fraze: I told you, I miss you Bea: You don't need to Bea: we can do this Bea: whatever we want Fraze: I know Fraze: Me & you Fraze: There's nothing we can't do Bea: Yeah Bea: [look of love beech] Fraze: [Gives it back obvs] Bea: [let's get 'em out of this car, how far away is it gonna be] Fraze: [Has anyone ever gotten out of a car faster in their life] Bea: [casual torture of having to wait to pay and go in, so drama] Fraze: [At least that can be masked as they don't wanna be here, thank god] Bea: [the joys of family holidays amirite everyone] Fraze: [There's probably so many people there cos all had the same idea so would take ages] Bea: [least if baby Rock started fussing they could be like WE'LL GO lmao] Fraze: [Good idea guys, get that plan rolling] Bea: I think all of Dublin is here today Fraze: Be harder for my Ma to keep an eye on us then Bea: don't think it's us she reckons will be tryna take the sealife home in our pockets Bea: we're good Fraze: 😂 Fraze: Yeah, we're good Bea: Very Fraze: 😏 Bea: actually can't see through these crowds Bea: how close to the front are we Fraze: [Lols because she's so smol] Fraze: Not close enough Bea: don't laugh at me it's claustrophobic down here Fraze: Want me to pick you up? Bea: Yes Bea: but no Bea: 'cos then I'll just wanna Bea: go Fraze: [A dangerous look] Bea: Stop it Fraze: Easier said than done Fraze: But alright Bea: You're so distracting Bea: I can't look at anyone else Fraze: Don't Fraze: There isn't anyone else Bea: I wish that was true right now Fraze: [Takes her hand for a sec stealthily because same] Bea: [ily curse always just hold that hand really tight and shh] Fraze: [But then let go before any of the kids notice you cos the kind of shit they would] Bea: [y'all shut your nosy mouths] Fraze: [Let's stop being mean and say it's their turn to go in finally] Bea: [when you dash off so fast you look like you're buzzing about the aquarium]7 Fraze: [bye bitches] Bea: [bathroom shennanigans as if people wouldn't be queuing and judging] Fraze: [Thank god they could give less of a shit, no shame ever] Bea: [soz not soz fam/world] Fraze: [Later talking about how he's gonna have a massive aquarium in his house one day cos rich people shit] Bea: ['have a shark, very bond'] Fraze: [is buzzing about that idea shamelessly] Fraze: [The convo obvs turns into what else he's gonna have when he's rich af] Bea: [a convo she can get behind obvs, probably knows what she wants to do already lbr so] Fraze: [control your 😍 boy] Bea: [when you're lowkey having a good time #fakes] Fraze: [Especially because he'd make her share the sweets he bought her earlier none for you though kids #soz] Bea: [so shaded, also don't want your gross fishy hands in the bag tho so] Fraze: [stealing Rocky to trial run this plan because only so much chatting and looking at fish you can do after a while] Bea: [looking like the youngest parents ever] Fraze: [Judgey looks from old people activate but maybe the rain stops for a sec so they can take him outside cos he's 'fussy' and be alone for a sec] Bea: ['When I'm rich, I won't ever go on holiday anywhere where the weather ain't perfect'] Fraze: [When you mean to say you but you say we because in love 'We can like hire an island or some shit'] Bea: [when you don't correct 'cos you don't wanna just meeting it with enthusiasm, 'until we can afford to buy one, obviously'] Fraze: [When you're just grinning because you hadn't even considered being that rich cos lowkey poor af forever & you so happy you're even being nice to baby Rocky, it's a moment] Bea: [he would be cute lbr] Fraze: [when you snuggling him and your bae so you do look like a fam lol] Bea: [haters back off it's cute] Fraze: [giving her so many 😍 like just say it boy, I'm dying] Bea: ['he looks a bit like you when you were a kid' 'cos baby mems] Fraze: [Looks at him like hmmm like he never thought about it cos probably hasn't. 'Ain't as cute as me though'] Bea: [Lols and covers Rocky's ears like don't listen] Fraze: [whispers something hot in her ear while his are covered] Bea: [does that fake face slap thing ('cos you're so scandalized ok) where you use your hands to plant a smooch] Fraze: [some good kissing for a minute because baby Rocky isn't a cockblock] Bea: [real MVP] Fraze: [but then the rain is back so gotta take that baby back in sorry lads] Bea: [mother nature cockblocking, there's probably a shitty cafe they could sit in, share a coke] Fraze: [the fucking mems] Bea: [also a giftshop pls buy something dorky] Fraze: [some stationary for her of some sort cos he's always ripping the piss about homework like] Bea: [get the boy a shark] Fraze: [bitch I nearly screamed] Bea: [when you pretend you ain't but you're so cute] Fraze: [so like mcvickers goodbye] Fraze: [okay but Tommy, Ali & Ro descending upon the gift shop so you gotta stop being coupley af for a sec] Bea: [always having to stop kids buying the most ridiculous tat in places like that] Fraze: [Tommy wanting to get something 'girly/fabulous' and Fraze making fun of him because job as big brother and dickhead] Bea: [just walking away from that situation, lord knows what Ali and Ro are after lmao] Fraze: [I'm just like Joe? Are you okay babe? Where is he] Bea: [does anyone care, 'scuse you] Fraze: [Tess because shameless fave #problematic] Bea: [we get it, he's your easiest child but honey it's because he's bottling that shit up for later] Fraze: [Mcvickers steering all the children away from the tat like come on, the rain's stopped again] Bea: [hit that beach lads] Fraze: [But a minor hiccup of discovering Ali's trying to steal creatures haha] Fraze: 😂 Bea: Probably a crime if she weren't underage Bea: have to hit up greenpeace sharpish Fraze: You know she was counting on those giant fucking eyes and knowing smile to get her out of it Fraze: Get your sister to start crying on her behalf if all else failed, like Bea: Probably a solid plan Fraze: Don't miss a trick that one Fraze: They're basically the Krays that pair Bea: 😂 Bea: with more menace Fraze: Exactly Bea: Some of the shit they get up that your mum tells me Bea: so God knows what else actually Fraze: I don't reckon I wanna know Fraze: Have to sleep with one eye open then Bea: Seriously Bea: not to mention plausible deniability Fraze: Yeah Fraze: You wanna go to the beach with that lot? Bea: Not if you have a better offer Fraze: Easy to bullshit that we're coming but then hang back at the caravan Fraze: It'll be ages before they give a shit we ain't there Fraze: If they do Fraze: And then even easier to say you're sick or something Bea: Yeah Bea: we've done our bit for the day Bea: not gonna be mad if we want some time to chill Fraze: Been the best babysitters going Bea: Exactly Bea: weather providing Bea: owed at least an hour or so of interrupted alone time Fraze: Thinking about that makes this car ride back less of a pisstake Bea: You'll make it, babe 😏 Fraze: I'll survive for you, yeah Fraze: Plenty of room on this floating door like Bea: such a romantic, you Fraze: One of many things about me that appeals to you, I know Fraze: Can't offer to draw you though Bea: Could give it a go for you Fraze: Yeah? Fraze: Alright Bea: Not promising it'll be worth much but you know Fraze: I can promise I ain't gonna sell it Fraze: Won't need the money for our island, will I? Bea: Should probably kick it for your eyes only if we're going full Titanic here, like 😂 Bea: 'course not, heart of the ocean was trashy anyway Fraze: When I buy you jewelry you better fucking not throw it into the sea Fraze: Rich but not stupid Bea: Have better taste than her dickhead fiancee, like Fraze: Not hard Bea: Thanks for the stationery Bea: even if you were taking the piss Fraze: No need to thank me just don't lob it out the car window Fraze: Or into the sea Bea: or at your head, yeah Bea: got it Fraze: You can chuck it at my head Fraze: That's foreplay basically Bea: Hmm Bea: know it was your first time and everything but Fraze: 😂 Fraze: I like buying shit for you anyway Fraze: I can't tell anyone we're together but I still want you to know, like Bea: I know Bea: not gonna forget Fraze: Good Fraze: Don't Bea: Nah, never Fraze: [a look because ILY curse is strong] Bea: Imagine how much easier it'd be Fraze: What? Bea: if it was a normal situation and we could just be honest about it Fraze: Change one thing & you change all of it though Fraze: How we met weren't normal but I don't wanna unmeet you Fraze: Who the fuck would we even be? Bea: Yeah Bea: you're right Bea: must be nice though Fraze: If you wanna tell 'em, we can Fraze: I chose you first & you're not my fucking sister Bea: It ain't even that I wanna Bea: I dunno Bea: fuck being normal anyway yeah Fraze: Figure out what you do want & I'll figure out how to give it to you Fraze: You know that Bea: Just like that? Fraze: Yeah Bea: That's why I like you Fraze: I mean it Fraze: There's nothing I can't do & even less we can't do together Bea: I know you do Bea: and I want you so badly right now Fraze: Then I'll have to make it happen, won't I? Fraze: Can't break a promise that fast Bea: I'm so ready to be alone with you Fraze: Me too Bea: [THE TENSION like soz Joe seriously] Fraze: [hence I'm like he's gotta at least have a clue what's occurring] Bea: [you know, also not an idiot, everyone knows they're basically in love anyways] Fraze: [exactly and they are not subtle especially him at sneaking about in the night/morning] Bea: [foosie moment 'cos what else are you getting away with rn] Fraze: [At least it's not a long car ride even though it feels like forever] Bea: Fuck Bea: what if Joe doesn't go either Bea: he's had a shittier day than us Fraze: I'll kick him out Fraze: He ain't won a fight against me for years Bea: Yes but will that actually work on convincing him Fraze: You got a better idea? Bea: Let me think Fraze: Not stopping you Fraze: Think on Bea: You are Bea: looking like that Fraze: Don't Fraze: Where else can we go if not there? Bea: Okay, so if he won't leave Bea: there's the shower blocks, yeah? and it's got the washing up bit too, so one of us needs a shower and one of us is being 😇 again Bea: barely anyone would be there in the day Fraze: Or I could break into another caravan Fraze: That'd be piss easy Bea: Probably Bea: Risky if the next family shows up, like Fraze: The weather's shit and so's this place Fraze: Other families have more sense Bea: 😂 Bea: alright then Bea: we'll work it out Fraze: 'Course Fraze: It's a plan Fraze: you go to the shower blocks, see how busy they are & I'll scope out the other caravans Bea: Okay Bea: Easy Fraze: Might still give Joe a slap anyway Fraze: Just 'cause Bea: Don't be mean Fraze: Don't be on his side Fraze: He ain't on yours, I am Bea: I'm not Bea: focus on me then, not him Fraze: I will Fraze: Soon as I can Bea: Good Fraze: I just can't fucking look at you right now Fraze: Jesus Bea: I know Fraze: I really wanna do something really stupid Bea: How stupid Fraze: Whatever you're thinking of, go harder than that Bea: Shit Bea: I already know that regardless they ain't gonna leave fast enough or be gone long enough Fraze: That's why I reckon another caravan's our best bet Fraze: We can just stay there Fraze: Even when they get back Bea: I just Bea: want you over and over again Fraze: I told you, whatever you want Bea: let's just stay away Bea: long as we can Fraze: Alright Bea: I hate it when you have to leave straight after Fraze: I don't wanna Bea: I know, it's just how it is Fraze: How it is is I don't ever wanna leave you Bea: Fraze Fraze: Yeah? Bea: I really like you, you know Fraze: I really like you too Fraze: Always have done Bea: Me too Bea: I'm not sorry for kissing you then, when we were little Fraze: I'm not sorry for anything back then or now Bea: Promise? Fraze: I swear Fraze: I told my Da I was gonna marry you, like I was having a man to man chat with him or some shit Fraze: Stupid but like I knew what I wanted, you know Fraze: I still do Bea: You've never told me that Fraze: Like I said, it was stupid Fraze: I was only a kid Bea: Not stupid Bea: but I won't call it cute either, know you don't like it Fraze: It's alright, he took the piss out of me, you can Bea: I don't wanna Bea: and I ain't Bea: we're all stupid when we're kids yeah Fraze: 'Course Fraze: Grew out of it, like Fraze: Basically Bea: Yeah Bea: not completely, I hope Bea: you promised me something really stupid Fraze: nah, not completely & not you Fraze: Couldn't grow out of liking you Bea: Sorry that I ain't sorry Fraze: I don't want you to be sorry Fraze: I ain't Fraze: Only that I didn't tell you before Bea: it's not like we didn't know Bea: it was just Bea: ignoring it for Bea: whatever reason Fraze: It's for them Fraze: But I don't give a fuck any more Bea: They can't actually stop us Bea: anyone Fraze: I didn't want my Ma to get any shit from the social or whoever & I don't but Fraze: I don't owe her shit Fraze: She dodged enough bullets when me and Joe were kids and she knows it Bea: Me either, obviously Bea: I owe her more but Bea: it's no one's business, it's so stupid Bea: we aren't related Fraze: Like I said, you were mine first Fraze: None of 'em would know you if I didn't Fraze: They don't get to tell me what I can do Bea: Why do I like when you say that Fraze: 'Cause it's right Bea: Yeah Bea: You're mine too Fraze: Yeah Bea: It's so surreal Fraze: I can pinch you if you want Fraze: It ain't a dream though Bea: You're an idiot Fraze: A fool for you, like Fraze: That's it Bea: [lols] Bea: well done 😏 Fraze: Smarter than you reckon Bea: You know that's not how I mean it Fraze: You're the only one who don't underestimate me Bea: 'cos I'M not stupid either Bea: and I know you Fraze: You're the smartest person I know Fraze: Not just smart for a girl Bea: You better not call me anything just for a girl Fraze: I just said I ain't that stupid Bea: Clever boy Fraze: 😏 Bea: [let them be there now] Fraze: [thank god how much more can they handle] Bea: [whaddya reckon Joe, stay or go?] Fraze: [if I was him I wouldn't wanna go, no shade boy] Fraze: If there's any shit from my Ma about where we're going or been, shut up & let me take it, yeah? Bea: Alright Bea: but I'll spare some time for thinking up a decent excuse if I can Fraze: Not loads though Fraze: Just 'cause we ain't on borrowed don't mean I don't want it all still Bea: You know I need all your time too Fraze: I know what you need Fraze: Come on Bea: [run off into the sunset] Fraze: [god bless] Fraze: [When you're trusted to go to the arcade because you've been looking after Rocky loads this hol & doing your sneaky shit very much on the low + Joe the shameless fave and responsible golden boy is going] Bea: [get on it with all those fun games] Fraze: [when you competitive af] Bea: [but it's fun 'cos the prizes are crap and the couple who win together] Fraze: [Gotta also win her something like my boo did for me though even if its not as cute as Sunshine] Bea: [big flex] Fraze: [Joe can win something for his girlfriend too, god bless] Bea: [and be having not a totally shit time for once] Fraze: [Lowkey having a good time with your bro cos you can be competitive and take the piss and pretend like you don't like him so no pressure] Bea: [when you're happy 'bout that on the low 'cos not about the awkwardness but not your place to be trying to #fixit, let them be playing some game so you can wander off] Fraze: [killing some zombies with your brother like your my brother & dad] Bea: [enter local fuckboys] Fraze: [When you must be having a good time cos you ain't noticed your bae is gone & you normally would] Bea: [just doing that thing of humouring but not encouraging you know the drill Fraze: [When you finally realise the bae ain't about so you check in #boyfriend] Fraze: Where are you? Bea: outside, having a smoke Fraze: Cheers for the invite, like Bea: You were having fun 🔫 Bea: you could come now though Fraze: I've won now so be right there Bea: Um can you mean now as in right now, not to be dramatic Fraze: What's going on? Bea: [doesn't reply 'cos drama] Fraze: Bea Fraze: [Comes to find her because when does she not talk to him ever] Bea: [These lads being aggro 'cos she's smacked the letchy one] Fraze: [When he's just gonna fight them all on his own cos that bitch like no get Joe to help you boy] Bea: [let's assume he'll hear 'cos squad] Fraze: [just two bros beating up dickheads together like old times, love it] Bea: [ha gotem] Fraze: [this squad are taking your shit squads tickets & money cos deserved thank you] Bea: [get sweets and toys for the kids with those tix] Fraze: [Especially Rocky cos fave] Bea: [no sweets for you baby boy] Fraze: [toy that you'll probably try and swallow though] Fraze: Talk to me Bea: I'm good Fraze: You ain't allowed to lie to me, remember Fraze: So you better not be Bea: Or what? Bea: I'm not not good Fraze: You wanna test that now, yeah? One fight not enough for you Bea: You'll have to go a harder if you want a smack Fraze: You got another one in you? Bea: You taking the piss? Bea: there was loads of them Fraze: Nah, I ain't Fraze: I just reckon if you can swing for me then you're alright Bea: I'm not hurt Fraze: Good Fraze: Don't be pissed off at me for checking Bea: I ain't Bea: but you don't need to Fraze: I know but I wanna Bea: Alright Fraze: You don't need me to look after you but that don't mean I won't, like Fraze: I'm never gonna let anyone hurt you Bea: I said thanks to you both, like Bea: and meant it Fraze: Yeah, I heard it Bea: well then Fraze: Nah, fuck that then Bea: don't make a fuss Bea: I ain't Fraze: Don't tell me what to do Bea: for God's sake Bea: do what you want but why bother Fraze: 'Cause you think you can pat me on the head and then put me back in my fucking box Fraze: Like we ain't so far fucking past that Bea: That ain't what I'm doing Bea: Idk what you want me to say Bea: boys are dicks, end of Fraze: One thing that ain't bullshit maybe Fraze: Jesus Bea: Fuck's sake, not right now Bea: not with Joe Fraze: [Sends him off with the money to get them something to drink a la my dream and gives her a look like well that's that solved] Bea: Such a smartass Fraze: So stop treating me like I'm my thick cunt of a brother Bea: [just makes a noise like 'rude!'] Fraze: [gives her a look like come on cos he knows she ain't chill about any of this] Bea: [shrugs, 'they were just dickheads, you sorted it'] Fraze: [shrugs back 'I don't give a shit about them'] Bea: ['me either'] Fraze: ['I ain't asking about them either, don't act like you don't know that'] Bea: [blood from a stone, soz boy, 'Come on, this is boring'] Fraze: [I hope you've got a sleeve he can pull on because that's the mood here so he can kiss her because unspoken things might work why not] Bea: [when you're going too hard 'cos your mood] Fraze: [when you're letting it happen cos you just wanna make her feel better] Bea: [when you gotta stop yourself from being that person but then you can't even look at him just like 'sorry'] Fraze: [when you pulling the bae closer to you if possible & you do the chin lift thing so she has to look at you because eye contact forever 'Don't. Fuck sorry.'] Bea: [shakes head and pulls away, 'no, it's fucked up.'] Fraze: [Shakes his own head. 'Like I ain't never done a fucked up thing.' Looks at her intensely 'Fuck normal, remember?'] Bea: ['Not to me, anyway, it ain't a free pass'] Fraze: ['I ain't hurt'] Bea: [Gives him a look 'cos using her words against her] Fraze: [Says her name softly and with feeling because I refuse to let you say ILY rn boy I don't care if you wanna] Bea: [Actually looks at him for a hot sec] Fraze: ['What do you want?' Doesn't need to elaborate because he knows she knows whatever it is he'll make it happen so just a look] Bea: [sitting and thinking in silence for a bit 'cos good question] Fraze: [🚬 while he sits and waits but passing it back and forth between them cos #mood] Bea: ['I just wanna- I don't know, for it to not even be a big deal, seriously, that's all I want'] Fraze: ['Yeah but it's always gonna be a big deal to me. Like, if someone even looked at you wrong that's gonna piss me off. Not 'cause you can't handle it or any of that bullshit but 'cause you're mine. End of.'] Bea: [grabs his hand 'but you got to fix it, you got to deal with it, like'] Fraze: ['I told you, they don't fucking matter. You do. And I can't do shit to make this really go away, can I?'] Bea: [laughs like yeah that's what I've been avoiding saying here] Fraze: [Pulls her up. 'Fuck this. Come on.' Cos taking her somewhere else to do something else that isn't this] Bea: ['What?'] Fraze: [Some handholding for Winnie & because it's allowed at a time like this] Bea: ['Just forget about it, okay?' pushing her forehead to his] Fraze: [Smiles at her genuinely. 'That's the plan, babe' & off they go again cos he on a mission] Bea: ['We don't wanna wait for the drink then? And Joe, like...'] Fraze: [Gives her a look like he'll come to us cos cocky forever] Bea: [shrugs and goes with it 'cos why not] Fraze: [Takes her to the beach where it's late enough by now there aren't loads of peeps about considering it ain't peak summer. Chucks a bucket & spade at her that some kid has left behind and lies down. 'Go on, bury me then'] Bea: [laughs 'have you actually lost it or? kneels down beside him] Fraze: [It's that or tunneling out but that ain't gonna shut me up much, like & I've seen enough prison shit to know it ain't foolproof enough for us either' Shrugs and closes his eyes] Bea: ['Not got any insurance I can cash in on, have ya?' genuinely smiling and when he opens his eyes again she'd be leaning over him 'such a dork' and a real kiss] Fraze: ['No point, invincible basically. Do your worst. His eyes widen (in that second before you have to close them again so you don't look like a mental person kissing with your eyes open) because not expecting that and lowkey undone by the realness always a little bit] Bea: [we know what 'bouta ensue] Fraze: [Don't hurry back Joe but do come back eventually cos I care about you babe] Bea: [Oh Joe, this is the worst holiday lmao] Fraze: [I hope he has got a girlfriend and Bea weren't wrong cos needs some happiness in his life damn] Bea: [in my head she probably just fancies him but nothing is being done about it lol] Fraze: [I love my future junkie son] Bea: [he's less of a relationship boy, like he'd have loads of little ones 'cos he'd start and then be distant and not what normal girls want in a boyf 'cos soz not here for your drama he's got more on his mind lol] Fraze: [what a mood, meanwhile I hope you two are gonna wait for him and not fuck off again cos rude] Bea: [when it's gon be obvious like how you sorting yourself out here lads] Fraze: [god bless, gonna have to get yourself to that shower block speedy before he returns] Bea: [look of love forever 'cos ily curse] Fraze: [likewise] Bea: [when you're like 'we should move' but don't 'cos #mood] Fraze: [when you only move closer to her despite knowing damn well that ain't what she meant] Bea: [when you ain't complaining, 'I miss not being able to touch you when other people are around'] Fraze: ['You can do whatever you want. We can.'] Bea: ['In theory'] Fraze: ['In reality, as long as you don't give a fuck about anything except what you want.'] Bea: ['That's the problem, ain't it. We already said, I can't get your parents in shit so...just how it's gotta be'] Fraze: ['And I already said, fuck them. I can always repeat it if it weren't clear enough though, like.'] Bea: [Just looking at him like, we know it ain't that simple, 'how it is is good though- isn't it?'] Fraze: [Gives her a look back like they can't stop us cos true and he knows it. But then gives a softer look & reassuring touch because obvs. 'Course. I told you, I wouldn't change any of it up to now. But that don't mean we can't have more.'] Bea: [big sigh but a weary smile 'cos still happy it's just a lot 'yeah'] Fraze: ['I love you, I wanna be able to do that properly, you know. So I will. I'll figure it out.'] Bea: [just quiet for ages 'cos he said it but you don't know if you should make it a Thing TM so but then you hit him with a 'We will' and the most MOST kiss] Fraze: [let's just let them have a make out moment on this empty beach thank you] Bea: [when you in love aw] Fraze: [don't worry babies you're gonna have it all] Bea: [after a while, have Joe show] Fraze: [thirdwheeling harder than ever but at least he has booze] Bea: [partayyy] Fraze: [watch the sunset kids live your best life] Bea: [but you should probably be back home soon lmao you children Fraze: [you know they gonna be late back and Tess will be like 😒] Bea: [ignoring all those mum texts 'til she threaten on rolling up] Fraze: [I'm cackling, don't test her kids she 100% would] Bea: [when you're gonna sneak away still though when they asleep heheh] Fraze: [god bless all the empty caravans because you're lowkey the only tourists] Bea: [gonna text as much hold up lol] Bea: tonight Bea: you wanna go back out when they're asleep Fraze: Yeah Fraze: Joe might not stay up half the fucking night if we let him neck most of this Bea: He won't dob us in anyway Bea: not saying tell him where we're going but you know Bea: long as they're asleep, that's the main thing Bea: and we don't fall asleep in some random caravan, like 😂 Fraze: You over your crush on him now then, yeah? Fraze: We'll set an alarm before we fall asleep, not that fucking stupid, like Bea: You're full of shit Bea: I never had a crush on him, please Fraze: You better not have Bea: I don't do crushes Fraze: Alright Bea: You don't believe me? Fraze: If I didn't, I'd say you were full of shit too Bea: I don't, this isn't an American teen drama Bea: can see when someone's good looking or not but not gonna write their name on my notebook or something Fraze: 😂 Bea: What Bea: why you laughing at me Fraze: Just thinking I'd be fucked if that's what I bought you all them pens and shit for Bea: Unlucky Bea: don't know what to tell you Bea: still draw you if you like, that's something Fraze: Yeah, it'll be something with with me as your model Bea: Could be Bea: got the height for it Fraze: Keep it in mind as far as future careers go then Bea: Can't be bad Fraze: You're fucked unless you're gonna grow like a foot in the next couple of years Bea: Yeah, thanks for that Bea: twat 😂 Fraze: I don't want all them cunts looking at you on a fucking giant advert by the side of the road anyway Bea: but I've just got to deal, have I? Bea: 🙄 Bea: they're less fussy about girl models height anyway, depending Bea: loads of them are barely over 5'5 Fraze: Fair, if you're hot you're hot Fraze: Not gonna get a fucking tape measure out if you've got any sense Fraze: Not for girls anyway Bea: Less about hot more about clothes horse Bea: no offense Fraze: Depends what kind of model you are Bea: You gonna get your kit off, are you Fraze: Could do Bea: 😑 Fraze: Cheers for the vote of confidence, babe Fraze: Good job I don't need it Bea: You said I couldn't Bea: not gonna stroke your ego over it Fraze: I said I didn't want you to Fraze: I ain't telling you what you can & can't do other than giving my brother the fucking eye Bea: Whatever Bea: I don't want to be a stupid model Fraze: Me either Fraze: Just keeping my options open Bea: Good for you Bea: smart Fraze: Island ain't gonna buy itself, like Bea: You know Fraze: Yeah Bea: [silent drankin] Fraze: [what a mood] Bea: swear whoever Joe got to buy this pocketed some of that money Fraze: Should've gone ourselves Bea: Yeah Bea: no getting pissed tonight Fraze: Do you wanna? Bea: Don't matter Bea: I'm good Fraze: If it didn't matter I wouldn't have asked Bea: Well Bea: either way we ain't Bea: not like I need to Fraze: We could Fraze: Ain't like I've never stole shit before Bea: I know Bea: I've been there plenty of times too Bea: I don't wanna though Bea: was just saying Fraze: & I'm just saying I ain't lost my touch Fraze: In case you forgot Bea: Alright Bea: plenty other ways to prove that Fraze: If I had anything to prove, yeah there are Bea: You're welcome Fraze: Am I? Bea: Yeah Fraze: Alright Fraze: Cheers Bea: 👌 Fraze: [drinking while you give a 'good talk' kinda look lol] Bea: [being like Imma go get ready for bed and leaving the bros] Fraze: [when you can't follow her even if you wanna] Bea: wake me up when you're in or they're sleeping, whichevers first Fraze: You'll hear me Fraze: Don't have to sneak in, only out Bea: Maybe don't wake the baby though 😏 Fraze: I'll put him back to sleep in a sec if I do Fraze: Had loads of practice now Bea: You're a pro now yeah Fraze: It ain't hard, you said it yourself first time we babysat him Bea: Still Bea: don't get too cocky or you'll be on babysitter duties for life Fraze: We've done such a decent job I reckon that's a danger already Bea: It's alright, only need to drop him on his head once and we're in the clear again Fraze: 😂 Bea: Probably be more annoying when he's older if we actually though so you know Bea: just pretend Fraze: It don't matter we'll be long moved out by then & too drunk at every family gathering to give a shit Bea: True Bea: Poor boy is gonna be smothered Fraze: Sounds like a murder plot in the making Fraze: Did you want me to be on board? Bea: 😂 Bea: Not what I meant Bea: we'll be gone, remember Bea: just him and your 'rents Fraze: Assuming none of the others aren't still about freeloading Bea: Give them the benefit of the doubt Fraze: Whatever Bea: Saying I will Bea: not gonna be that much of a bitch and predict their futures for 'em quite yet Fraze: Give it a few more years before you commit to it Fraze: I know how much you hate being wrong Bea: How'd you know that Bea: Never am, like Fraze: Other than every time you've called me an idiot, like Fraze: 'Course Bea: I only ever said it as an observation Bea: not fact Fraze: An observation that's wrong Fraze: 'Cause I never am Bea: Personal opinion, McKenna Fraze: You're last naming me now, yeah? Fraze: My personal opinion is you're full of shit, babe Bea: No one likes a smartarse, babe Fraze: Wrong again Fraze: I'm well popular Bea: Egotistical bastards too Fraze: You including yourself in that? Bea: Was saying no one likes those either Bea: but if the shoes fits, I guess Fraze: When did you get so concerned about what everyone else likes? Fraze: Christ knows I couldn't give less of a fuck Bea: You're the one that's so popular Fraze: What's your point? Bea: You clearly care a bit Fraze: Nah Fraze: Just that impressive Fraze: I've told you that before Bea: God Bea: you're so irritating Fraze: Go to bed then Fraze: That's what you fucked off to do Bea: I am Fraze: Really slowly Bea: I have a routine Fraze: You'd probably get it done sooner if you shut up Bea: fuck off Bea: no one's making you reply Fraze: Just an observation, babe Fraze: & why wouldn't I reply? I'm not the one who left Fraze: Gutted if you expected me to use this time for brotherly bonding or some shit Bea: what are you even doing then Bea: sat in silence? Fraze: Like that's unheard of in this family all of a sudden Bea: You've both had a drink you should at least be able to do smalltalk no Fraze: What am I gonna waste my time chatting shit to him for? You've got that covered Bea: I'm going to bed, remember Bea: that's the whole point Fraze: You're still here though Fraze: That's my point Fraze: Why did you even go? Bea: 'Cos you were playing a game together before all that stuff happened Bea: so you're still capable Bea: that's why Fraze: Fuck off Bea: What Fraze: I don't need you playing games with me to bring about some fucking reunion Bea: Don't make it sound malicious when I'm just trying to fix what I started Bea: we could've still been there if it weren't for that nonsense Fraze: & I really don't need you to fucking fix me Fraze: Jesus Bea: Where Bea: where did I say that Bea: you aren't listening Fraze: Say something worth listening to instead of trying to act like a few hours of him tagging along & me being in a decent enough mood not to kick the shit out of him means any more than that Bea: Fine Bea: Whatever makes you happy Fraze: Don't Bea: Sure Bea: I'll go Bea: Enjoy your silence Fraze: Yeah 'cause I clearly will now Fraze: Fuck's sake Fraze: This ain't about me & you as good as admitted it just then Bea: I know it isn't Fraze: Don't fucking use me to try and make yourself feel better for shit that wasn't even your fault in the first place Bea: All I'm saying is don't let it ruin a perfectly good evening by making everything so serious Fraze: Fuck that Bea: Whatever Fraze: Any more bullshit you wanna throw at me to see if it sticks or can I go? Bea: Go Bea: I'm over this conversation Fraze: At least we feel the same way about something Bea: Thank god yeah Fraze: Never been more relieved, like Fraze: Goodnight Bea: Night, Fraze Fraze: Joe's heading back, if he don't make it, send out a search party or whatever Bea: None of us are that wasted sadly Bea: but will do Bea: what are you doing Fraze: Like he needs an excuse to not be paying attention to where the fuck he is or when Fraze: Christ knows but I know what I ain't & that's following him Bea: True but I figure warm bed tops being vague right now Bea: was freezing Fraze: Maybe Fraze: We'll see if he shows up in a sec or nah Fraze: You will anyway Bea: I'm not going to stand on the porch like your mother, sorry Fraze: I bet he's proper devvo on that Fraze: I meant you'd hear him Fraze: Or my ma kicking off about how late she reckons it is at least Bea: Obviously Bea: but our love is strictly forbidden now so he'll have to deal Fraze: Didn't stop me or you Fraze: He could grow a pair after winning that fight earlier Bea: Fingers crossed, even more obviously Bea: he's here anyway Fraze: Good for him Fraze: You can sleep soundly now knowing it too Bea: You're the one making me check in with you Bea: but sure Fraze: 'Cause I don't want the blame if he didn't show when he was meant to Bea: Alright Bea: bullshit but fine Fraze: Not my bullshit Fraze: Just the way my parents minds work Bea: Maybe Bea: but if you were really worried wouldn't you be here yourself Fraze: It's 'cause I ain't it'd be my fault 'cause I'm gone & so he's then they'd reckon we're together even though we ain't gone off together anywhere in years Fraze: But he's back so I don't have to give a fuck Bea: Exactly, so you're still gonna get in trouble for being late Fraze: When have I ever been home on time Fraze: They never do fuck all about it Bea: Okay then Bea: your night's your own Bea: good luck finding something entertaining Fraze: Cheers Bea: 👍 Fraze: You can go you don't have to sit there emoji-iing at me Bea: I'm saying night it's not a big deal is it Fraze: It's been said Fraze: So it's a waste of time Fraze: Why would you want that? Bea: You think I fall asleep soon as I hit the pillow? Fraze: Clearly not part of your routine Fraze: I ain't that stupid however much you wanna treat me like it Bea: You're being it right now Fraze: Stupid would be pretending I can be alone in a caravan full of fucking people Fraze: So nah, I ain't Bea: Stop talking then, if you really want to be alone so bad Fraze: Stop talking if you're not gonna say what you really wanna say Bea: and what do I really wanna say then Fraze: If I knew that I wouldn't give a fuck if you said it or not, would I? Bea: Suppose not Fraze: But there's something or you'd have put your phone down & left it there by now Fraze: I know when you're done with a conversation, like earlier & when you ain't, like now Bea: I've already asked multiple times Bea: but you don't have an answer so what else am I meant to do but wait Fraze: That's bullshit Fraze: We both know I'm the kind of cunt who has an answer for everything Bea: Not a good one, then Fraze: Since when do they have to be good Bea: since you want me to leave Fraze: I don't Bea: You keep telling me to so Fraze: That's what you want Fraze: Your fucking bright idea to salvage my night or whatever Bea: Well that got fucked however long ago now didn't it Fraze: Yeah Bea: Just come back for fuck's sake Fraze: Alright Bea: I'll meet you Bea: let's just go now Fraze: You know how much shit we could get in for that, yeah? Bea: Yeah Fraze: We can just stick to the original plan, like Fraze: They'll have to go to sleep once my ma's had a go at me Bea: Sure Fraze: Or you could wait for me on the porch, that did sound decent Bea: 😂 Bea: Better than your actual mum, yeah Bea: not much of a compliment is it Fraze: You can take it as one Fraze: Come on Fraze: You know I really wanna see you Bea: You do? Fraze: 'Course Bea: Are you still mad Fraze: You reckon I can stay mad at you? Bea: You can try Fraze: Not gonna for that bullshit Bea: Don't Bea: we'll have a better time together Fraze: Yeah Bea: if we can't go now Bea: at least come to my room just for a second Fraze: Nothing we can't do, babe Fraze: I know you ain't forgot Bea: then do Bea: I wanna see you Fraze: Are you still mad at me? Bea: Only for not being here already Fraze: Timed getting here well then Fraze: Come 🚬 before I have to go in Bea: I don't wanna Bea: [when you mean smoke rn so you obvs come out anyway] Fraze: [When you obviously weren't arsed either because you aren't smoking when she comes out it was just a shameless excuse cos you've had like no time alone today and you know you ain't gonna get long now but you gotta take what you can get before you can sneak off] Bea: [Have at it kiddos] Fraze: [When you just know he's gonna say ILY again because it's out there now RIP] Bea: [dies] Fraze: [When you're having the most intense make out ever like your fam isn't literally right there basically] Bea: [seriously you better hope they ain't curtain twitching bois] Fraze: [not a convo you wanna have rn or ever if you could help it] Bea: [gather your courage to go get shouted at by your mum lol] Fraze: [when you keep having really good 'last' kisses that then aren't] Bea: [no chill ever how have you not been caught frankly] Fraze: [literally only cos Rocky is a baby & keeping everyone busy] Bea: [real MVP wutwut] Fraze: [When you know he ain't gonna listen to a damn word Tess said cos too distracted soz babe] Bea: [when does he ever, or like any of these kids #mumlife] Fraze: [At least he wouldn't be talking back and kicking off like he mostly does you can have that one for free] Bea: [that's your first clue gurl] Fraze: [she'd 100000% think he had a girlfriend just not Bea obvs] Bea: [hawkward] Fraze: [An appropriate amount of time passes for a Tess Vickers Lecture TM] Bea: How was it Fraze: Standard Bea: You don't need comforting then? Shame 😏 Fraze: For the fact this holiday ain't close to over yet, I do though Bea: Are you telling me you'd rather be at School? Bea: Have to get that in writing or the teachers will never believe it Fraze: I'd rather be bunking off with you but if you wanna spread that rumour the teachers'll be thrilled, like Bea: 😂 Bea: I'd rather that too Fraze: Good Fraze: I miss you Bea: I miss you more Fraze: Count to a 100 and let's fucking go then Bea: 75 Bea: final offer Fraze: 95 & we don't come back til morning Bea: Ugh Bea: okay Bea: but don't get comfortable with me giving in to you Fraze: It's more fun when you try really hard not to Bea: Shut up Bea: if I have to count to 95, I need to focus here Fraze: Not like I said do it backwards Bea: can up it if you keep taking the piss boy Fraze: No you can't Fraze: You don't wanna wait any longer than I do Bea: I don't Bea: but you know I will Fraze: Yeah but don't Bea: Then be nice to me Fraze: Keep counting Fraze: You know I will Bea: How nice Fraze: How nice do you want? Bea: well, don't be boring, like Fraze: Wrong brother there, babe Bea: Don't start on that Bea: be telling me I'm fantasizing next 🙄 Fraze: I'm just saying, I couldn't be boring if both our lives depended on it Fraze: Well, maybe if yours did Fraze: For a sec, to save you, like Bea: Very noble Bea: must be love Fraze: Yeah Bea: Okay Bea: that's 95 Fraze: Come on then

[skungie]

rambling for a moment about tokiponizing names for this translation because... this is one of those things i feel a lot of ways about and i need to yell into the void. im putting the meat of it under a readmore, mostly talking about approaching it from the angle of self-identification and such. i do not expect anyone to read this but i am including translators notes in case you do LOL

i THINK. i THINK. im finally happy with the tokiponizations, but it's been kind of a painful road deciding on how i wanted to approach everything, especially because i've been doing a lot of learning as i go haha. but here are my thoughts.

i have been wrangling for so long with jan Tesa (Tesamija). ultimately... i just wanted to give him a different head noun. i don't think dys feels very much like a jan [person], and a lot more like a monsuta or perhaps even a nasa [strange/weird/xeno (in this context)]. at the same time, though, those are his deepest feelings- i think if anyone ever calls him something like that it's like... marz calling him nasa to bully him LOL. so.... to everyone else he's jan.

it does make me kind of wish there was a mem variable to change character names in the menus though, because the shift of jan Tesa to nasa Tesa when he runs away to become a gardener... (chef kiss)

jan Tangent..... i feel from the very start that tangent is the kind of person that would prefer her name to be left as-is. simultaneously, i think she has the same issue as dys where she wants to be ilo [tool/robot] rather than jan, but there are social issues that would make that Not happen. even still.... shes ilo deep down.... the same way Congruence is ilo....

soweli Le (soweli Pesolesija) is like. realistically, i think i would be happier making him soweli Lesi or something? i'm still unsure. i think the similarity to jan Wesi makes for some fun thematic nonsense, but i just don't know!! there just a lot of -i names happening here, i need to break it up with some other sounds man. all i know is hes just soweli [animal] who else is gonna be soweli but rex

soweli Nomi (soweli Nomi-Nomi will probably look like ass in the menu lmfao) is only soweli because i think kijetesantakalu Nominasin would break a few things LMFAO. ultimately i just think the idea of being soweli because you're a furry having a good time is something that fits delightfully well with nomi's character- and also because matching head nouns with rex is super cute

nasa Sen (Senpijose???) is nasa because dys chose it, i think. i think sym would probably have used jan or maybe some other weird head noun (ilo? soko? kili?) if he chose it for himself but. well. you know how it goes sometimes a 9 year old describes u as nasa when hes talking to himself and youre like yeah for sure im nasa

honorable mention is that tammy's name was ass because i knew i wanted her to be jan Temi but her full name was weird to translate. eventually i decided to go FUCK IT she can be Apatemi!!

thats about it. i just needed to write this somewhere. i am cringe but i am free. die and explode about it idc

[stubbornpimple]

Book : Eleven Minutes

Author : Paulo Coelho

Read in : 2021 || Format : Paperback

Score : 3.2/5

Once upon a time, there was a prostitute called Maria.

Like all prostitutes, she was born both innocent and a virgin, and, as an adolescent, she dreamed of meeting the man of her life..

A very promising start. Here is where I got my hopes high. I was looking forward to read something I never read before which I did but with a weaker plot. The story moves forward centring Maria who, after several heartbreaks and being cornered by her insecurities, ends up in Switzerland to face Life. But soon her sandcastle is washed away and she finds herself struggling in her own skin. Before she could claim her castle back, she ended up sleeping with a man where money was involved. Here is the dawn of her detour on a dark path. This was followed by a series of monologues where we see Maria reasoning with her conscience that why she chose this path.

As a reader I still am not convinced why. Money seemed the nearest plausible reason. The story was gripping and as a reader I felt connected to the protagonist so far however to my heartbreak, the storytelling charm started to slip away thereon. In the middle and towards the end, I didn’t know what to make out of the book with more and more monologues, little narrations that followed, a biography? a philosopher’s storytelling? someone’s memoir written by someone else? I don’t know, I just wanted a breathtaking read. Specially I enjoyed reading the journal excerpts since they were based on a true journal. Yes, you heard me. A real journal of a real person. (mem. I am gonna do my personal research on that later.)

What I enjoyed the most :The entire concept of the book. Things it talked about. Sacred prostitution, its origin, its practice. The practice of BDSM and its psychology. Sisterhood. Men and their psychology when it comes to stuffs like what male and female body could do to each other. And a lot. I liked the part where the author talked about how ‘we, humans seek pain, consciously and unconsciously’. How we are always guilty and try to justify our existence with our sufferings. Though I had a hard time digesting the generalisations here and there, after all we have our version of stories but I think they always converge somewhere.

Now this book demands cognitive maturity of a reader. You could be 28 and still get this book wrong or you could be 17 and still feel like this book opened its self before you.

There isn’t really much to talk about characters since it was basically focused on our protagonist Maria and the painter Ralf who later made her walls fall down. Whatever I got to know about the other characters with little, narrations and subplots it seemed that they all were feeding their respective demons and keeping hurricanes at an arm’s length.

Let’s not talk about the ending. I don’t like when books end like short stories. What’s next?

If you are reading this far, my thoughts might appear clouded. No. I liked this read. A lot. Truly. And I suggest you should read it too.

One of my favourite quotes

I need to write about love. I need to think and think and write and write about love - otherwise, my soul won't survive.

At last but not the least, I just was thinking, that the person who had written The Alchemist and the person who had written this one, are the same. How diverse! I am amazed. This is why he is one of my favourite authors of all time.

-j (stubbornpimple)

[a-lil-bi-furious]

13, 27, 38, 52?

Thank you for helping me put off my work, Mem!! 🥰😅

13) What is something that can ALWAYS make you smile?

Hearing my best friends laugh! Being the cause of the laughter! Babies smiling at me in the grocery store! Dogs/cats coming to me on their own! Getting messages from people--other people? think of me?? instant warm fuzzies! (esp. when someone sends a song or pic or something w/ “made me think of you”)! When others are as engaged in talking to me as I am them (and I feel heard)! Swimming! Being out in nature (esp. mountains)! Soft shirts! Rain (when I’m not driving)! Iced lattes! Pie! Soup! Letters! Good hugs (god, I miss hugs so much)!

a lot more things than I tend to realize <3

27) How do you feel right now?

I feel like a dog out on a walk--distracted by everything around me. I have a specific objective, but everything else is too exciting apparently to focus. Gotta sniff every inch of grass, y’know?

38) What is your favorite book or book series?

I’m gonna level with you...I haven’t read an actual book in a regrettably long time. Because of this, I’m honestly not sure if I have a favorite book anymore? So I’m going to give a long, convoluted answer...

I remember The Perks of Being a Wallflower being really impactful for me (the movie as well)! For a long time, my favorite book was City of Lost Souls ( from The Mortal Instruments series) by Cassandra Clare. The series definitely has a lot of issues, but I still really love the Shadowhunters universe.

In the last few years, most of what I’ve read has been fanfiction or works related to my studies. I read some of bell hooks’ feminist theory from margin to center for my thesis project and really fell in love with her ideology regarding oppression and power dynamics. I have a few of her books in my overflowing “to read” pile.

Most recently I started reading Albert Camus’ The Myth of Sisyphus / An Absurd Reasoning and I’m in love with it. I’ve never seen such snarky, positive nihilism in my life. Anyone who says “actually, life might be meaningless, but you should live it anyway and make your own meaning out of spite” gets my stamp of approval. And he writes so beautifully, too!

Is this a sufficient substitute for one (1) favorite book?

52) If you could tell someone you love deeply one thing & only ONE only what is it?

This one really perplexed me! Like, what is the context? Do I never get to say anything to them again? Is this the only thing I ever get to say to them (i.e. have I been able to say anything prior in this scenario)? Is the one thing one thing regarding me or them or us or is it just....any one thing? I have so many questions!! (*proceeds to overthink*) I think the one thing I say would probably depend on which person I love deeply I’m saying it to? 

But generally speaking? I think I would want, very simply, to tell someone I love deeply that having them in my life makes it a meaningful life, one worth living. I struggle quite a bit with whether or not being alive is really worth it, and I think (hope, at least) those I love most would feel the weight of that statement? Regardless of who it is?

[nodlefisch]

tag mem e

tagged by: @alien-aniki

1ST RULE: tag 9 people you want to get to know better  gomeN TAGGING IS STRESSFUL

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true

APPEARANCE:

I am 5'7" or taller

I wear glasses

I have at least one tattoo

I have at least one piercing

I have blonde hair

I have brown eyes

I have short hair (sorta? not really. idk. people call it long for a guy sometimes.)

My abs are at least somewhat defined (lmao)

I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY:

I love meeting new people (my...brokenly shy ass..... nope..)

People tell me [LIE] that I’m funny 

Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me 

I enjoy physical challenges (how im a noodle)

I enjoy mental challenges

I’m playfully rude with people I know well 

I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it

There is something I would change about my personality (so much)

ABILITY:

I can sing well 

I can play an instrument

I can do over 30 pushups without stopping

I’m a fast runner

I can draw well (haha)

I have a good memory (HAHA)

I’m good at doing math in my head

I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute

I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling

I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch

I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES:

I enjoy playing sports

I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else

I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else

I have learned a new song in the past week

I work out at least once a week

I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months

I have drawn something in the past month

I enjoy writing (eeeeee h )

FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION ((i mean i spend too much time on them to not bold it bUT IDK IF #1)

I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES:

I have had my first kiss

I have had alcohol 

I have scored the winning goal in a sports game

I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting

I have been at an overnight event 

I have been in a taxi

I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year

I have beaten a video game in one day

I have visited another country (uuh cayman islands are a british territory right so i guess)

I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS (oh no not gonnA TOUCH IT):

I’m in a relationship

I have a crush on a celebrity

I have a crush on someone I know

I have been in at least 3 relationships

I have never been in a relationship

I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them

I get crushes easily

I have had a crush on someone for over a year

I have been in a relationship for at least a year

I have had feelings for a friend 

MY LIFE:

I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”

I live close to my school (not. in school but I DID live close)

My parents are still together

I have at least one sibling

I live in the United States

There is snow right now where I live

I have hung out with a friend in the past month (DOES THIS MEAN RL BECAUSE NO BUT IF IT MEANS JUST CHATTING??)

I have a smartphone

I have at least 15 CDs

I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT:

I have breakdanced

I know a person named Jamie 

I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce

I have dyed my hair

I’m listening to one song on repeat right now

I have punched someone in the past week

I know someone who has gone to jail

I have broken a bone

I have eaten a waffle today

I know what I want to do with my life 

I speak at least 2 languages (erm...not fluently)

I have made a new friend in the past year 

[junker-town]

Let’s explore Kevin Durant’s Taco Bell theory of mortality

We have that and more in Thursday’s NBA newsletter.

Kevin Durant did another run on The Bill Simmons Podcast, and most of the attention the first part is getting is due to the PSA he issued to “all the blog boys and fanboys” expressing doubt in analytics. Amid that Durant says “all these guys are gonna write articles and get real mad about what I said tonight.” I, for one, am not going to take that bait [cough especially when provoked by a dude with burner sock puppet accounts cough].

Something else is more worthy of attention. Here is Durant’s Taco Bell theory of mortality:

”After we won the championship, I had Taco Bell and it ran through me just like it would a normal person. I’m like, ‘Oh s--t. I thought I had a golden stomach (laughing). I thought I was immune to everything, but no. You thought, like, Michael Jordan never went to the bathroom. [...]

”That’s the perception of it all: we’re just immortal. We’re normal f--king people who are really good at what we do. But at the end of the day, we go to sleep just like everybody else. We really put on our pants just like everybody else. We take a s--t like everybody else! So it made me realize that I am not king anything because we won a championship. I just achieved what I want in my profession. [...] It makes me realize that, like, that superstar word to me really isn’t a thing. It’s all a facade and all a fake. When I go through normal stuff, it makes me realize that I’m just a mere mortal. But I’m really f--king good at basketball.”

TED Talk coming this summer.

Playoff Picture Update

Chaos reigns in the West!

Scores Galore ...

CLE 118, CHA 105 BKN 111, ORL 104 NYK 101, PHI 118 POR 103, MEM 108 ATL 114, MIN 126 BOS 97, UTA 94 LAC 111, PHX 99 DAL 93, LAL 103

... And So Much More

Updated NBA mock draft. I’m not leaving the Luka Doncic No. 1 train until the train catches on fire and careens into a lake. And even then, hey, I can swim.

Remember how Ben Simmons cajoled Karl-Anthony Towns into staying up late to play video games, indicating that because the Wolves were playing the Hawks the next day Towns had plenty of time? Turns out Towns put a career-high and set the Wolves franchise scoring record with 56 against Atlanta. Simmons knows.

I wrote about three lessons from the Jazz’s success in the wake of Gordon Hayward’s exit, including the fact that team culture really does matter.

All the data suggests RAPTORS BENCH can hang with the best lineups in the East. Do you believe it?

Anthony Davis is asking the internet whether he ought to shave his unibrow. #engagement

The Kings announce a partnership with Black Lives Matter Sacramento and the Build Black Coalition to invest in Black youth in Sacramento. The Kings have another home game Thursday, protests continue in the city, and thousands of fans have been prevented from entering the arena in two of the last three games due to protests in front of the entrances. The team and city have a plan to get fans in the arena, it appears.

Dope Drawing Board video on Mikal Bridges’ defense.

Joel Embiid has a facial contusion. We’ll take a thousand facial contusions, just no knee or foot injuries.

So, Isaiah Thomas is going to go ahead and have hip surgery. Welp. Here’s a timeline of how he got here, going under the knife right before unrestricted free agency.

The Pacers’ wild comebacks this season, ranked.

Shouts to Kemba Walker for becoming the Hornets’ all-time leading scorer!

Given Steph Curry’s injury, for the first time in perhaps his whole career, Kevin Durant needs to run the offense.

LeBron explains why, were he an MVP voter, he would vote for LeBron. One flaw in his reasoning is that he cites Cleveland’s tumult and turnover without acknowledging his own potential role in said tumult and turnover.

Be excellent to each other.