#ME WHIPPING OUT MY SPOTIFY

[warryboy3148]

LET ME QUENCH YOUR FERAL FEAR

extract the tumour in your ear, oh

[eli-is-an-idiot]

Rec-ember Day 16 C

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

[lascvitae]

❀ ༉ ‧ ₊ ˚ LIKE A FEVER

♯┆ you’re the coach’s daughter & karina is the skater who falls for you anyway. you were never hers to keep, but she loves you.

pairing. ice skater!karina x coach’s daughter!reader genre. friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending (thank faith bc yall almost didn’t get it), slow burn (kinda), mutual pining, forbidden love warning(s). cursing, cheating, kissing (making out), reader is in a failing relationship, this is a yearnfest man, coach is mean af, brief argument, suppressed emotions (karina my shayla 😔)

word count: 11k (this seems to be my limit chat)

“the more i hurt, the more i want you.”

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ katty ᥫ᭡: guysss when i tell you i sobbed while writing this like three times... (is an easy crier) but thanks for 600!!! (also i made a spotify playlist if you would like to listen while you read)

masterlist.

three weeks before regionals. 

the rink is quiet this late at night.

you never even really plan to check on her. not really. you just happen to walk by the glass doors on most nights. most of the lights are off except for the spotlights above the center, casting shadows over the ice.

and there she was.

karina. 

she was alone. as always.

the two of you weren’t very close, but you had conversations here and there. she was the type of person that focused on her passion more than anything else. it was admirable, really. 

her movements were so sharp and precise. she was so clean it looked effortless. but you knew better. you knew the amount of hours she’s poured into every jump and every spin. you’ve heard the way your dad talks about her. 

“she’s got the skill. but i need her to stop feeling so much.” he said once. 

but you like it. the way she skates like there’s something breaking inside of her. that’s where the real beauty is.

you don’t reveal yourself at first. you just stand by the edge of the rink and pulled your coat tighter around your shoulders. the cold seeped in fast but you didn’t mind. not when you were watching her.

karina doesn’t notice you. or maybe she does and chooses not to look. she was always like that, distant but aware.

you wait until she finishes her routine, skates slowing to a stop in the center of the rink. she bends at the waist, catching her breath with hands on her knees.

that’s when you call out in a soft voice. 

“your landing on the last combo was perfect.”

she was startled, head whipping toward the sound with wide eyes. her mouth parted like she was gonna say something, but then she just straightens and skates toward you quietly.

“i didn’t know anyone was here.” she says.

you hold up the water bottle in your hand. “i didn’t think you would still be here. but… i figured you forgot to bring this. again.”

she slows to a stop right in front of you, carving tiny shapes in the ice with her blades. you hand her the water bottle, fingertips brushing yours for a second.

“you always bring me water.” she mumbled.

“you never ask me not to.”

karina looks at you. there’s a faint sheen of sweat on her forehead. she stares quietly, face never leaving yours.

“i guess i like when you worry about me.” she says after a moment. and then she smiles.

you don’t say anything back. you can’t.

you end up sitting beside her on the bench near the edge of the rink. she unlaced her skates slowly, water bottle sitting between you.

“i didn’t mean to interrupt. you looked… kinda lost in it.” you say after a while.

karina glances up at you and tugs one skate off with a small grunt. “i always get like that when i’m alone. it’s easier to pretend that no one’s watching.”

“but someone always is.”

she freezes for a second and then her lips curl into a smile, an almost amused one. “yeah. like you.”

i’m not— i didn’t mean—”

“i don’t mind. i like when it’s you.” she cut in while shrugging.

you don’t know what to say to that, so you pretend to focus on something else. her shoulder was just barely brushing yours.

karina sighs. “coach is gonna kill me for staying this late.”

“he doesn’t have to know.” you laughed.

“is that the coach’s daughter helping me break the rules?” she turns to you with one brow raised.

“i won’t tell if you don’t.” you reply. 

then there’s a pause. a long one.

then she speaks. “you’re always here.”

“so are you.”

“i have to be.”

“you don’t. not at this hour.” you argue.

karina looks down at her hands. “he says that i need more reps on my loop. and i can’t land it clean if i don’t fix my axis. so…”

she doesn’t finish the sentence. and you feel as if she doesn’t need to.

the silence returns. then, you carefully pull a pair of hand warmers out of your coat pocket.

you hold them out without saying a word.

“you… brought these?”

“i figured you would forget those too.”

she doesn’t take them right away. she stares at them then back at you. and when she finally reaches out, her fingers brush yours again. except slower this time.

“thanks. for thinking of me.” she says softly. 

“someone has to.” you shrug, trying to play it off.

she gives you a quiet laugh. then she leans back on the bench, shoulder still pressed to yours with her hand warmers resting in her lap.

neither of you say much after that.

the silence is comfortable. she hasn’t moved for a while now. her legs were stretched out and her fingers were curled around the hand warmers you gave her. you think maybe she’s falling asleep sitting up. or just enjoying your presence. 

either way, you don’t say anything. 

but then your phone buzzes.

twice. three times.

karina jumps before you even check it, like the sound snapped something inside of her. she doesn’t say anything, but her body moves away from yours. 

you glance down. a name lights up your screen.

your boyfriend.

you forgot he said that he would call. you forgot about him entirely for a second. 

that realization makes your stomach turn.

“sorry. didn’t mean to—“ you mumble, silencing it.

“it’s fine.” she was back to the cold version of her you know from practice days.

she stands before you can stop her, pulling her skates back on. the laces are uneven and she doesn’t even fix them.

“you don’t have to go.” you say stupidly, as if it’ll make her stay.

but she’s already halfway to the ice again.

“i should run the routine again. i’m still shaky on the loop.” she calls out from over her shoulder.

you stay on the bench and watch as she glides back toward the center of the rink, phone buzzing again in your hand. the music doesn’t play. she doesn’t need it.

she jumps before she’s ready. the landing is clean but you can tell.

she wasn’t skating to practice.  she was skating to forget you.

───────────────────────

the next day, somehow the rink feels colder.

maybe it’s the hour. or the way that karina doesn’t look at you when you walk in with your father. or it’s the silence that feels too heavy in between your steps.

she’s already on the ice when you arrive, pacing through her warm up jumps with clean movements. it was like last night never happened.

you sit off to the side as your dad steps onto the ice with his clipboard in hand. 

“all right. start from the top. don’t drop your left arm on the entry again.” he calls, already stern. karina doesn’t reply. just nods once, jaw set. she adjusts her gloves and glides into position without a word.

the music starts.

you watch as she moves like she’s made for this. every jump makes her look as if she’s gliding. she doesn’t miss a beat.

but you see it. the way her chest rises too fast in between movements and the way way she hides the pain in her arm.

your father doesn’t.

“again. you were two seconds late on the last transition. don’t let the emotion get ahead of your technique.” he says the moment the final note fades.

she doesn’t argue. she just bows her head and skates back to the start.

you don’t say anything.

another run through. another correction. another sentence with barely contained frustration in your father’s voice as karina pushes herself harder, and faster. her blade slipped slightly on a landing and she hits the ice with a thud.

you flinch. but he doesn’t move.

“get up. you’re fine.” he says calmly.

karina pushes herself up slowly, lips pressed into a thin line. she doesn’t look at him or at you. you can see her hands shaking.

“i understand.” she says softly. and then she says it again in a quieter tone.  “i understand.”

and she tries again.

it breaks something in you.

she finishes the third run perfectly. doesn’t collapse this time, but her breaths are harsh now. your dad claps his hands together once.

“better. you can take a break.”

he walks off the ice like it’s another day, already reaching for his phone. the door slams behind him.

only then karina sits down, curling slightly forward with her gloves gripping her knees. you don’t even realize you’ve moved until you’re walking down the bleachers and stepping quietly onto the mats just off the ice.

“i’ve been here the whole time.” you say.

her head snaps up.

“i saw all of it. how hard you’re trying.” you continue.

karina doesn’t say anything at first. just looks at you with her eyes wide.

then she whispers. “did it look like i was good enough?”

you walk closer and kneel next to her.

“it looked like you were breaking yourself to be.”

she wasn’t used to being seen like this.

“i don’t want you to skate like that. like you’re trying to prove something to him.” you mumble.

“i’m not.” she lies.

you don’t say anything for a moment. just reach into your bag quietly and pull out the same bottle you brought yesterday. it’s refilled and a little colder this time.

you hold it out to her without saying a word.

she stares at it like it’s a peace offering from another being.

“you need to hydrate. even perfectionists have to drink water.” you say softly with a small shrug. 

karina laughs breathily. her fingers graze against yours as she takes it and she doesn’t let go right away.

“i’m not perfect.” she mumbles.

“you kind of are.” you reply before you can stop yourself.

she looks at you, then down at the bottle in her hands. then back up.

you don’t have to be perfect all the time. not around me, at least.

is what you wanted to say. but instead you just stay silent.

karina swallows like she’s trying not to say anything.

“hey. i brought this.” you say in a slightly playful tone. 

her eyes flicker to it and her lips twitch barely. you catch it.

“you brought snacks?”

“maybe.”

“i love chocolate.” karina mumbles as she takes it slowly and unwraps it with careful fingers. she breaks it in half and holds one piece out to you.

your chest squeezes.

you take it.

she eats her half like it’s one of the first real things she’s had in hours.

“thanks. for not leaving.” she says finally. 

“i wouldn’t.”

“i know. i think i needed someone to stay anyway.” she glances down at the bottle. 

“then i’ll stay.” you nod.

and you do.

you sit side by side on the cold bench. karina’s finished the chocolate, skates finally unlaced and resting beside her. her legs are pulled up onto the bench as if she’s disappearing into her hoodie.

her phone buzzes once between you.

“my ride’s late.” she mutters, her thumb tapping the screen before she sets it face down.

you nod with your hands in your jacket pockets. “i can wait with you.”

“you don’t have to.”

“i want to.”

karina doesn’t argue. she just looks at you with an unreadable expression. 

for a while, it’s quiet again.

“you were always watching me.”

you look over at her with a startled expression. “what?”

she smiles a little. “yesterday. at practice. today too. i can feel it.”

you look away. “you’re kinda hard to miss.”

“i noticed you before that.” she says. almost too quietly.

your heart skips a beat. 

she leans against the bench with her head tilted up. “you came to one of my meets last year. sat way in the back and didn’t talk to anyone.”

you froze.

“i didn’t think you saw me.” you admit.

“i always see you.” she says and the words land with a softness that makes your heart race.

you open your mouth, searching for something to say.

“my dad expects a lot from you.”

she just stays quiet.

“the way you don’t fight back. it’s the same way i used to be.”

“do you ever wish you could quit?” you ask.

karina turns her head, looking at you. “every day.”

you look down at your hands. “but you don’t.”

“no. because i still love it. even when it hurts.”

you nod quietly.

“does anyone know you feel like that?” you ask.

she shakes her head. “no. i don’t tell them.”

“but i tell let you.”

it comes out as a whisper. you’re too surprised to say anything.

then the sound of a car pulling into the lot breaks the moment.

karina doesn’t move right away, she just watches you like she’s still thinking about saying something else. but she doesn’t.

she stands, slowly grabbing her things.

“i’ll see you tomorrow?” she says. 

“yeah. tomorrow.”

and as she walks away, you feel that feeling in your chest. the feeling of someone slipping through your fingers even while they promise they’ll stay.

───────────────────────

it’s past nine the next day when you find her again.

the rink is empty and the lights are dimmed to half their usual level. her bag is forgotten on the bench and there’s a single light glowing from her phone screen. it was probably another missed call or her ride running late again. 

she was alone in the center. there was no music this time, just her blades breaking the silence.

you don’t call out.

you sit on the same bench as before and unzip your jacket. you pull out a small paper bag and inside is a chocolate croissant you picked up earlier. 

she doesn’t notice you until she slows down. she does one last spin and then she slides to the edge of the rink, brushing the hair from her face. that’s when she sees you. 

her eyes widen and her chest heaves from the effort.

“you came back.” she said breathlessly. 

“you’re not hard to find.” you tease gently. 

karina steps off the ice carefully, taking off her gloves as she comes over. her cheeks are pink from the cold.

“what is it this time?”

“guess.”

she sits next to you again, closer than before. your knees almost touch.

she peeks into the bag and smiles slightly.

“you remembered i like chocolate.”

“i remember everything.” you say before you can stop yourself.

she looks at you and there’s something soft in her expression. maybe grateful or just stunned.

she slowly takes a bite and you watch her shoulders relax with the first chew.

neither of you one talk for a bit.

“you don’t owe me this, you know. the snacks, waiting, or the way you look at me.” she mumbled. 

“i’m not doing it because i owe you anything.” you shrug. 

“then why?”

“because i want you to feel like someone’s always there for you. no matter what.”

karina looks down at the half eaten pastry in her hands with an unreadable expression. no one’s ever done that for her, you realize.

just stayed. showed up. believed in her even when she wasn’t performing.

she swallows hard.

“thank you.” she whispers.

you could tell her it’s nothing. that’s it’s easy. that you would do it a hundred times over.

but you don’t.

she leans just a little closer this time and her shoulder almost brushes yours. you pretend not to notice.

she was slowly letting you in. it was pieces of her that she hopes you’ll handle carefully.

and you will. every time. 

───────────────────────

the next day, you return to the rink again.

you were going to give her space but something in your chest pulled you back.

when you walk inside, karina’s already on the ice.

alone again. no music or audience.

you don’t even have a chance to say anything before it happens.

she goes into a spin too fast, and the blade of her skate catches wrong.

you hear the crack of impact before you see it.

karina hits the ice hard.

you froze with your breath caught in your throat.

she doesn’t get up right away. she just lies there, chest rising and falling.

then she slowly pushes herself to sit.

and you see it.

it wasn’t pain.

it was frustration.

she rips off one of her gloves and throws it to the side. her other hand slams against the ice. the sound echoes like a gunshot in the empty rink. 

“stupid, i’m so stupid. why can’t i just—“ she mutters before choking on the words. her other glove comes off and her hands clench into fists.

you’re moving before you can think. sliding open the door to the rink and stepping out toward her.

“karina.”

she tensed.

you see the way her back straightens and her breathing stalls. she turns her head with wide eyes, like she didn’t know that anyone was watching.

you kneel beside her carefully.

she doesn’t look at you.

“i’m fine. i was doing fine. i’ve done this a hundred times.” she says quietly.

“i know.”

“i can’t afford to mess up right now. not when regionals are in three weeks. not when— not when everyone’s already waiting for me to fall.” her voice cracks. 

your heart twists.

“i’m not.” you respond. 

she finally looks at you.

this time, you see it all. the exhaustion just behind her eyes.

“i’m not waiting for you to fall. but i’ll be here to catch you if you do.” you say without thinking. 

something breaks in her expression.

“i hate crying.” she says. 

“you’re not.”

“it feels like i am.”

you pull down the sleeve of your jacket down and gently press the fabric to her cheek, wiping away a tear.

“you’re allowed to be human, karina.”

she closes her eyes.

and for the first time, she leans into your hand. not all the way, but enough to let you know she’s tired of being strong alone.

she doesn’t say anything for a bit after you wipe her tear.

she just sits there with her fists clenched and jaw tight.

but then she shifts, and you know she’s trying to get up.

you offer your hand without saying anything.

she hesitates.

for a second, you think she might not take it.

but then almost reluctantly, her fingers slip into yours.

her hand is cold and her grip is too gentle for someone who just punched the ice a minute ago.

you pull her to her feet and settle her when she wobbles.

she doesn’t let go right away. and neither do you.

you’re closer than you’ve ever been. her face is still flushed from skating and her lips part just slightly when she looks at you.

“thank you.” she whispers.

you almost respond, saying something too honest, but that’s when your phone buzzes. 

you both look down at the same time.

it’s your boyfriend.

you freeze. and karina notices.

she drops your hand before you can even react and steps back like she wasn’t just unraveling in your arms seconds ago.

“i should… i should get back to it.” she mutters, brushing her hands off on her

“karina—”

“it’s fine. you should take that.” her voice returns back to neutral. it’s not angry, but it’s distant. 

you glance down at your phone again. 

when you look up, karina’s already lacing her gloves back on.

you don’t stop her.

and somehow, that hurts more than the distance that she just put between you.

because now you know what it looks like when she almost lets someone in. 

and what it feels like when she slams the door shut just as fast.

───────────────────────

the rink is even colder tonight.

you’re not here just to watch this time. you’re here because you couldn’t stay away.

karina hasn’t looked at you once since yesterday.

you came in quietly, settling into the middle row with a blanket around your shoulders and a box of fruits in your lap. you didn’t expect her to notice you.

but you still hoped.

she steps onto the ice like nothing ever happened.

she’s different today. you can see it.

she’s trying harder. like she’s trying to prove something.

you watch her routine in silence. it’s the same one she’s been perfecting for weeks. there’s no music, but you know it by heart now. you could probably hum the entire song if she asked.

she doesn’t fall this time.

but her landing is shaky and her spin is off center. her arms falter for half a second in the last sequence.

she finishes with what would be flawless from anyone else’s eyes.

but when she stops and lets out a heavy exhale, you can tell she’s not satisfied.

you wait until she comes off the ice and tug her sweatshirt back over her training top.

then you call out.

“that was beautiful.”

karina looks up so fast you wonder if she ever knew that you were here.

you hold up the water bottle and the fruits you packed earlier. strawberry and banana slices with two small chocolates tucked into the corner.

she walks over slowly. almost cautiously.

“i didn’t know that you were coming.”

“didn’t want to miss your performance.” you shrug. 

she sits next to you on the bleachers. you hand her the box and she takes it wordlessly, taking the top off of the container. 

“you’re really good, karina.” you say softly. maybe a little too soft.

 “like... i don’t even know anything about skating but i can feel it when i watch you. that’s gotta mean something.”

karina froze mid bite.

you glance at her but she’s not looking at you. just staring down at her fruits.

“…what?” you ask.

“no one’s ever said that to me. not like that.”

“really? you’re one of the best.”

“your dad is always too focused on what needs to be fixed. where my lines are off and where i’m not centered. he says praise makes you soft.”

you feel something in your chest. then you nudge her with your shoulder. 

“then i’ll do it for him.”

that makes her look at you. her eyes are slightly wide and her expression is unreadable.

you smile. “i’ll be your fan. i’ll even be loud and annoying. if you want me to.”

karina looks away but you still catch the shade of red rising to her cheeks.

“you’d be my audience?”

“i am your audience. right now. front now.” you say. 

she hides her laugh behind a sip of water. then she asks.

“will you stay if i go again?”

you nod without a second thought. 

you stay in the same seat while she steps back onto the ice and it looks like her entire body is lighter. you didn’t know it was because of your praise. 

when she begins again you catch her stealing a glance at you during the first spin.

then she does it again during the glide.

you wave.

and she almost stumbles from smiling too hard.

karina finishes her routine again and this time, she nails it.

everything was flawless.

when she comes to a stop in front of you, she doesn’t say anything. she just looks at you like she’s searching for something in your expression.

you don’t hold back.

“that was perfect.”

“you think so?”

“i know so. you were scary good. i got chills.” you hug the blanket tighter around your shoulders. 

karina lets out a soft laugh and looks away, but she’s smiling. her shoulders lower like she’s allowing herself to feel proud for once.

she walks over to the edge of the rink and sits beside you again. this time she sits closer. her thigh brushes against yours and neither of you move away.

you offer her a chocolate from the snack box. she takes it.

“i’m serious. you skate like your entire heart is in it.” you say. 

her smile fades, but not in a bad way. it turns into something softer. 

“it is.”

you look at her. you’ve never seen someone work so hard for something that almost no one praises them for.

“you should be proud of yourself, karina.”

she doesn’t respond right away. she just eats the chocolate in silence.

maybe you lean a little closer than you should.

maybe she does too.

because you feel something change again.

she turns her head to look at you.

and the way she’s looking makes your stomach do a thing.

like she’s never had someone talk to her like this.

like no one’s ever stayed.

“i like it when you’re here. i skate better.” she says suddenly.

you smile and your heart does a weird skip. “then i’ll keep coming.”

karina’s eyes flick down to your mouth for a second too long.

and then, you see it happen. the moment she remembers.

your boyfriend.

your father.

everything that makes this too complicated.

she pulls away slightly. but it’s enough for you to notice.

you don’t know what you did wrong, but she’s straightening her spine again. putting space between you.

“you should probably head out soon. it’s getting late.” she says. her voice was too polite for you to like it. 

“karina—”

“your dad doesn’t like when you stay late, right?”

you pause, reading her face.

it’s completely changed. her composure. she’s still distant. 

the softness is still there, but it’s tucked away. 

still, you try.

“i don’t mind staying.”

she stands up anyway, avoiding your eyes.

“i’ll lock up after i’m done.”

then she’s skating away again.

but as she gets back into position, her gaze flicks to you. just once.

like maybe she wished you would stop her.

but you don’t.

not this time. 

───────────────────────

the next night, you show up again.

you don’t say anything. 

you just walk in with your tumbler of hot chocolate, blanket folded over your arm. 

karina’s already skating when you get there and her movements are sharp but you can tell that she’s tired. her routine looks less precise, like her mind is somewhere else.

you settle into your now usual seat and wait, wrapping yourself in the blanket. you don’t cheer or wave this time. you just watch.

when she finishes the routine and finally notices you, she doesn’t look surprised.

she just comes to a stop and lets her hands rest on her hips while panting softly.

“hey.” you say. 

she skates over slowly.

she doesn’t sit next to you this time. just leans against the railing while looking down at her skates.

“you didn’t have to come again.”

“i wanted to.”

karina doesn’t reply.

you hold out the tumbler. “it’s hot chocolate.”

she glances at it then at you. then, she reluctantly takes it. 

you watch her sip it slowly.

“you don’t have to be alone all the time, you know.”

karina’s shoulders tense.

but she doesn’t look at you. she just stares at the ice, jaw tight.

“it’s easier this ways.” she says after a long pause. 

you’re caught off guard by the honesty. “easier?”

“no one expects anything from me when i’m alone.”

there’s something about the way she says it. like she’s told herself that a thousand times before.

you want to reach for her. but you don’t.

“i expect something from you.”

she looks at you. almost defensively. but your gaze is soft.

“i expect you to take care of yourself. to eat. to rest. to let people care about you.”

karina swallows.

you think she might say something, but instead she just looks down. 

“you have a boyfriend.”

your stomach twists and you look down at your hands.

“i know.”

“you’re the coach’s daughter.”

“i know that too.”

silence stretches between you. and then she whispers.

“i can’t let myself like you.”

it’s the closest thing to a confession she’s ever given you. and you’re afraid that it’s the closest that she ever will. 

your heart breaks in two.

you don’t know what to say. you don’t even know if you’re allowed to say anything at all.

so you just sit there with your fingers trembling inside the blanket.

she takes one last sip of the hot chocolate then hands the tumbler back to you, fingers brushing yours like she doesn’t mean to. but maybe she does.

then she skates away again.

the sound of your heartbeat is louder than her blades cutting across the ice.

“karina.” you call out, voice echoing through the empty rink.

she doesn’t stop.

you stand up. “karina, wait—”

she’s still skating. even faster now.

it stings. the way she shuts down, like she’s trying to outskate the things you make her feel.

so you raise your voice.

“why do you keep doing this?”

that makes her stop abruptly. her skates carve into the ice, and send up a sharp spray of frost. she turns to you with an unreadable expression. 

“doing what?”

“this.” you gesture between you both. “one second you let me in and the next you’re skating away like you hate me.”

she exhaled hard, looking away. “i’m not doing anything.”

“yes you are. you talk to me, open up, and then remember i’m someone you shouldn’t like and you shut down again. every single time.”

karina’s jaw clenches.

you step closer. “i’m not trying to confuse you. i just want to be there for you. and i thought… i thought maybe you wanted that too.”

“i do. god, i do. but what do you want me to with that? you have a boyfriend and your dad hates me. this isn’t about just skating anymore.” she says, voice cracking slightly.

you pause.

“i never said it was about just skating.”

karina looks at you. her expression softens but you can see something else in her eyes. 

she shakes her head, scoffing slightly. “you don’t get it.”

“then make me get it.”

“i can’t! because if i say it out loud then it’s real, and if it’s real then i’ll want something that i can’t have.” she nearly yells, voice echoing off the walls.

the silence that follows is so loud that it hurts.

she blinks fast like she didn’t mean to say that.

and you just stand there, stunned.

“karina…”

her name comes out softer now. 

she looks down at her skates, biting her lip.

“i think you should go.”

your throat tightens. “do you really want me to?”

karina closes her eyes.

“no.”

but she turns away anyway.

and this time, you just let her skate.

because now you know. she’s not pushing you away because she doesn’t care. 

she’s pushing you away because she does.

───────────────────────

the rink feels colder again.

it’s not the weather. it’s the emptiness.

karina gets there late, hoodie pulled tight over her head with her headphones in. her water bottle is half full.

but when she steps onto the ice, the first thing she does is look at the stands.

you’re not there.

she pretends that it doesn’t bother her. pretends that she doesn’t notice.

she warms up and does her stretches, then she goes through the footwork section of her routine easily.

but when it’s time to start the real run through, she hesitates.

you’re still not there. 

there’s no voice cheering her on softly. 

no tumbler clutched in your hands.

no little smile whenever she glances over her shoulder.

she tries to push through it, starts the routine anyway. but halfway through the first turn, she tumbles. her balance slips and her hand scrapes the ice hard, making her curse under her breath.

she gets up and starts again.

falls again.

but it’s worse this time.

she sits on the ice for longer, breathing heavily. her eyes are unfocused and for the first time in weeks, she feels it creeping back in. that voice in her head that tells her she’s not enough. that she’ll never be enough.

she presses the tip of her palm against her forehead.

she doesn’t cry. but she’s close.

and then she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone.

your name is right there, but she doesn’t call.

she just stares at the screen for a long, long time.

her thumb was hovering over the call button. 

just one tap. but she doesn’t do it. she locks the phone, puts it back into her pocket and stands up.

this time, she doesn’t try the routine again.

she just skates in slow, aimless circles.

alone.

two weeks before regionals. 

it’s been a week.

seven days.

karina counted them all. skated through every single one one of them like it meant nothing, but it did. she just got better at pretending it didn’t.

there was two weeks until regionals now.

everyone’s tense and the rink is busier than usual. there’s more skaters and more pressure but tonight, she’s the only one left. again.

she’s been pushing herself too hard. trying things she shouldn't be attempting this late. her left ankle’s bruised and her back aches. her music plays on loop but none of it feels right. nothing has felt right ever since you stopped showing up.

she doesn’t expect to see you again, which is why when she hears the door creak open mid routine she doesn’t stop right away.

it’s only when she glances toward the stands and sees you with your blanket, tumbler, and uncertain smile that she fumbles a landing.

not enough to fall. but just enough to feel it. just enough to feel everything again.

you stay quiet for a moment and just sit there. 

karina lets out a shaky breath and skates to the edge, stopping right in front of you. neither of you say anything right away.

you hold out the tumbler.

she hesitates but takes it and wraps her hands around it like she did before.

“you’ve been pushing yourself too hard.”

she looks at you.

“noticed that from your seat?” she says, trying to sound teasing but it comes out tired.

“i noticed from not being in it.” you reply and her chest twists.

she leans against the edge of the rink, back against the wall. you lean forward next to her, elbows on the railing. 

“i didn’t think that you would come back.” she admits.

“i wasn’t sure if i should.”

“why did you?”

“because you looked like you needed someone.” you shrug. 

she glances up at you, something vulnerable showing in her eyes.

“i always do.”

that breaks something in you.

yet, neither of you move.

she sips the hot chocolate and you rest your chin on your hands.

“i missed watching you skate.” you whisper. 

karina closes her eyes for a second, as if she’s allowing herself to believe you again.

“i skated better when you were here.”

you heart stutters.

it always does when she says that. 

karina doesn’t look at you when she says it. she just stares down at her hands, thumbs moving over the tumbler. she looks small like this. not because she is, but because she’s tired. tired in a way that you’ve never really seen her before.

“then i guess i should’ve never left.”

she looks up. your stomach makes you feel weird in the way it always does when she looks at you like that. and she doesn’t even realize she’s doing it. 

“you skate like you don’t even need air.”

“i don’t. until you’re not here.” she says quietly. 

there’s silence after that. you’re not sure of what to say next. 

“i brought you chocolate.”

karina lets out a quiet laugh. 

“you remembered?”

“of course i did. you barely eat.” you say this time. 

“that’s scary.”

“what is?”

“being known.”

the way she says it makes it seem like it’s a luxury she doesn’t let herself have.

you don’t reply. you just pull out the bar and hand it to her.  

“then i’ll be careful with you.” you mumble.

and that is the moment she knows she’s completely fucked.

because you’re kind and careful. and also someone else’s. and her coach’s daughter.

and she’s still never wanted to kiss someone more in her entire life.

she doesn’t say anything after that.

just keeps her eyes on the bar of chocolate like if she looks at you again, then something might break.

you don’t move either. you just sit there.

you can hear her breathing. see the way her fingers tap against the tumbler, then stop, and then start again. she’s fidgeting and that alone is strange.

“were you okay? the days i didn’t come.” you ask softly, breaking the silence.

her eyes drop.

“no.”

the honesty stings.

but she doesn’t apologize for it.

she shrugs a little, like she’s trying to play it off. “it was just… harder.”

“i’m sorry.” you nod slowly. 

“i didn’t want you to feel like you had to come.”

“i didn’t. i wanted to.” you say, meeting her eyes.

her breath catches. you notice but you pretend not to.

“i used to wonder if i actually helped at all. or if i was just a distraction.”

“you weren’t.” she says immediately with no hesitation. “you aren’t. you’re…”

she trails off.

“i’m what?”

she looks back at you, but she looks scared.

“you’re part that makes it hurt less.”

and that does something to you.

you don’t say anything. you can’t, really. not when your throat feels tight and your chest is full of something you can’t name. or you’re too scared to. 

so you reach over slowly, placing your fingers over hers.

she doesn’t move. her hand stays beneath yours, still and warm and trembling.

and for a moment, neither of you breathe. 

then your phone buzzes on the bench behind you.

karina pulls her hand away before you could even blink.

you turn around, already knowing who it is.

karina stands and grabs her bag without saying anything.

you wish she would. you wish you could.

“thanks for the snack.”

and then she’s gone.

───────────────────────

the next day you show up earlier.

you don’t pretend it’s not for her anymore. you’re sitting in your usual seat with your blanket, tumbler, and snack beside you as you watch the skaters rotate through their drills.

but karina doesn’t come out right away.

you see her peek through the glass from the hall. you catch her gaze for a second, then she disappears.

she doesn’t return until everyone else is wrapping up.

and even then, she still doesn’t look at you.

she glides past the bench, focused with her headphones in. you try not to take it personal, but it’s hard. her eyes don’t meet yours once.

you wait until she finishes her routine. she lands the last jump perfectly. almost too perfectly. like it’s anger and not focus pushing her through it.

you stand when she skates off.

she walks past you like she didn’t see you at all.

so you follow.

“karina.”

she doesn’t turn around.

“hey— stop.”

she finally stops by the far end of the rink right by the locker hallway, but she doesn’t face you. she just stands there with her fists clenched at her sides.

you take a step closer. “are you avoiding me?”

she exhaled. “i’m not avoiding you.”

“you literally didn’t look at me all night.”

“that’s not avoidance.”

“then what is it?”

“It’s self preservation.” she snaps.

you froze.

her chest is rising and falling quickly, eyes glossy with something she’s trying hard to suppress.

“karina.”

“i can’t do this. not when i know you’re gonna leave again. not when i know who you go home to. i’m trying to stay focused. this—“ she gestures between you two. “— this messes with me.”

“so what, you’re just cutting me off?”

she looks at you like she wishes she could say no. but she says nothing.

you shake your head. “you don’t get to push me away just because you’re scared.”

“i’m not scared.” she says too fast.

“then what are you?”

silence.

she looks at you and it breaks something in both of you.

“falling.”

your heart drops.

“falling. and you’re not allowed to catch me.”

neither of you move.

everything feels louder now. her hands are shaking again and you want to grab them, tell her you're already falling too, even if you’re too much of a coward to admit it yet.

but your phone rings again.

and this time, she doesn’t wait for you to answer it.

she just walks away.

───────────────────────

the next day is cold. like always. 

you’re already in the stands when karina steps into the rink, tying her jacket tighter with her head down. she’s barely slept either, but she’s used to that.

then she sees you. and her heart stops.

you’re curled up on the bleachers in the same blanket, but you look different. 

you’re always soft and always quiet, but this time there’s something hollow behind your eyes.

they’re puffy. and red.

your smile is barely there. 

she sees the dark circles immediately. and the way you’re not waving or calling out to her like usual. you don’t even look like you’ve eaten anything.

karina slows to a stop in the middle of the walkway, just staring at you. 

she can tell that something’s wrong.

and then the sound of your father’s voice cuts through the silence.

“again!”

karina flinches.

he’s not yelling, but his tone is sharp, cutting in that way only coaches can be. 

disappointment wrapped in professionalism.

“you’re stiff. you’re late on your rotations. you want to fall in front of the judges? pick it up. again.”

she doesn’t respond. just nods. she’s good at taking hits and pushing through. 

but even from the bleachers, you’re watching every second like it physically hurts to witness.

karina’s eyes change to you between jumps, just once, for a second.

and you’re already looking at her.

your eyes crack in heartbreak. 

like it’s killing you to see her go through this after the night you just had.

she lands the jump. barely.

your father says nothing this time, just mutters something under his breath and walks off toward the office.

karina exhales and then she looks at you.

that’s when she realizes. you weren’t just tired. you were crying. 

all night.

and somehow, she knows it wasn’t just about him. it was about her, too. about everything you’re not allowed to say. about everything that she made worse by pushing you away.

her throat tightens and you try to smile at her.

you don’t even think before you stand. you just move, blanket slipping off your shoulders and your feet hitting the bleachers faster than they should. your heart was pounding in your throat like it wants to say something first.

by the time karina’s stepping off the ice, you’re already waiting by the edge with your arms crossed.

she sees you and it wrecks her.

you can tell by the way she hesitates just for a second. the way her eyes linger on your face then drop to your hands. they’re empty.

she unties her skates slowly, like she’s trying to draw out the seconds. maybe she’s hoping that you’ll leave.

you don’t.

you crouch down beside her instead and she still doesn’t look at you.

“i brought water. it’s in the stands.” you say quietly. 

she doesn’t respond.

“i couldn’t sleep.” you add. 

she exhales shakily. “why are you here?”

you swallow. “because i can’t not be.”

her fingers pause on her laces.

“i kept thinking about what you said. that you skated better when i was here. that this messed with you.” you continue, looking at her hands instead of her face.

she doesn’t say anything.

“do you think it doesn’t mess with me too? do you think that i don’t feel it? when you look at me like that? when you won’t look at me at all?” you whisper.

she finally looks up. and it’s all there.

the hurt. the want. the grief of something she hasn’t even let herself have yet. 

“i don’t know what i’m allowed to feel when it comes to you. you’re the coaches daughter. you have a boyfriend. and i’m just—“

“stop.” you interrupt. “don’t do that. don’t reduce yourself to that.”

karina flinches.

“last night we got into an argument. i told him that it wasn’t fair. that someone else— you— make me feel more in the ten minutes after practice than he has in months.” 

her lips part. she looks like she’s trying not to break.

“you’re the only person who sees me for me.”

karina swallows hard. “you can’t say things like that.”

“why not?”

“because i want to believe them.”

you both fall silent.

you don’t touch her. you don’t move. You just sit in the silence, watching the way her eyes glisten and dart to the ground like she can’t bear to look at you for too long.

“i kept waiting for it to go away. whatever this is.” she says finally.

“and?”

she looks up.

“it never did.”

your breath hitches.

neither of you say it. you don’t need to. it’s the distance neither of you dare to cross yet.

“i skated better when you were here.” she says again. like it’s a confession now.

“and i broke when you weren’t.”

this time, you don’t look away. and neither does she.

she stands first.

you think she might reach for you, but her arms stay at her sides. her fingers twitch like they want to move but don’t know how to move without ruining everything.

“i should go.” she says quietly. 

“my ride’s waiting.”

you nod slowly. “okay.”

neither of you move. 

there’s a second where it feels like she might stay. like she might say screw it and finally do something reckless.

but she doesn’t.

she looks at you like she’s memorizing you in case this is the last time she gets to.

“you make things better. just by being here.” she says almost too softly to hear.

and then she turns.

no goodbye. no wave.

when you finally stand, your hands shake.

because you know it’s not over.

but it hasn’t started yet, either. 

it’s just waiting.

like you are.

one week before regionals. 

you’re curled up in your usual spot with a tumbler of tea between your hands. 

karina’s been skating for over an hour. and for once, she hasn’t looked your way.

you don’t blame her.

not really.

you told him the truth two days ago. you ended it.

but endings don’t mean freedom. not when guilt clings to you.

you’ve barely talked to her since.

not about it.

not about anything.

but you’re here. you’re always here, and she knows that.

when her routine finishes you stand without thinking, legs sore from sitting too long. you meet her by the edge of the rink. the way you always do.

you offer the water bottle without saying a word. she takes it with tired eyes, lips parted like she might say something.

but she doesn’t.

“you’re sharper today. your landings are cleaner.”

“thanks.”

just that. no warmth behind it. 

you swallow it down and try again. “do you want to run through it again with music? i can play it for you.”

she hesitates before shrugging. “if you want.”

it stings a little. but you press play anyway.

and as she skates, you watch her the way you always have. you’ve seen it a million times before, but it still knocks the wind out of you every time.

because she’s beautiful.

because she’s yours in all the ways that don’t count.

and it’s killing you.

when the music fades you’re already moving to meet her again. she unlaces her skates in silence.

you crouch beside her like you did the last time, and you’ll probably keep doing it until she tells you not to.

“you don’t have to keep showing up.”

“i want to.”

she glances at you quickly. 

“you’re going through stuff too.” she says.

“so are you.”

for a second, she just stares.

“does it hurt?”

“what?”

“the breakup.”

“yeah.” you don’t lie. 

she nods once. slowly.

then she says your name like it’s fragile. like if she speaks it too loud you might shatter.

“i hate that it hurts. but i don’t regret it.” she mumbles. 

you stare at her.

and you know. you know she’s not just talking about the breakup.

you know she means this. you. whatever’s going on between you two that neither of you fully touch yet.

“me neither.”

she doesn’t touch you.

you don’t ask her to stay.

you just sit side by side on the cold floor of the empty rink, hearts quietly breaking for each other in a way that feels like a promise. even if neither of you said the words. 

it happened four days before regionals. 

it was so fast that you barely registered it.

your dad’s voice was sharp as it echoed through the rink. words like focus, sloppy, and disappointment cut through the air with every frustrated step he took. 

karina stands perfectly still on the ice, arms stiff at her sides.

she doesn’t look at him.

she doesn’t look at you either.

“again. and this time, land the jump like someone who actually wants to qualify.” he barks.

you open your mouth like you were about to say something. but you don’t. you know better than to poke the fire when it’s this close to regionals. so you stay still and bite your tongue until it tastes like metal.

karina just nods quietly. 

like always.

like she’s learned to.

she runs the routine again.

it’s not bad.

but it’s not perfect. and he lets her know.

another critique and another sigh. then he walks away without even a good job to soften the blow.

you hear the door to the rink slam shut behind him.

and then it’s silent.

karina glides off the ice and sits on the bench without a word, untying her skates with trembling fingers.

you approach carefully.

she doesn’t look at you.

“i can’t do this.”

it’s so quiet you almost miss it.

her voice breaks on the last word, and she’s leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, hands gripping her hair like she’s trying to hold herself together.

your chest hurts.

you kneel in front of her without thinking. 

“karina—”

“i can’t breathe anymore. every time i mess up it’s like— he looks at me like i’m wasting everyone’s time. like i’m not worth it.” she chokes out. 

“hey. that’s not true.” you whisper, reaching up slowly but not touching her.

tears fall down her face, but she doesn’t wipe them. “i’ve done everything. i’ve pushed myself so hard i can’t even feel my legs anymore, and it’s still not enough.”

“you are enough.”

she shakes her head. “i’m so tired. and i don’t even know why i’m still trying. i keep thinking maybe… maybe if i do it perfectly, just once, someone will finally say i did good.” she whispers, voice trembling.

you feel your heart break. because you know that feeling.

so this time, you do reach for her.

you hand lands lightly on her knee. “i see you. i’ve seen you this whole time.”

karina finally looks up.

it looks like she’s been holding this in for years.

“you skate like it means something. i don’t care if you fall or if it’s messy. or if my dad doesn’t say anything. i’ll always think you’re perfect.”

she blinks and more tears slip down. then her lip quivers.

and then carefully and hesitantly, karina leans forward and rests her forehead on your shoulder. its not a hug but it’s close.

you don’t move.

you just stay there with her in the silence, letting her fall apart without asking her to stop.

because she’s always been the strong one. and maybe this once she needed someone to hold the weight.

───────────────────────

it’s late when your phone buzzes.

you’re still awake, staring at the ceiling. you’ve been replaying the moment in the rink all evening. the way her forehead pressed to your shoulder like she was scared to go any closer.

you reach for your phone.

karina are you still up?

you sit up instantly.

you yeah. are you okay?

there’s a pause. it’s long enough that you start to wonder if she’s fallen asleep.

karina can you come over? i don’t want to be alone tonight.

and in less than fifteen minutes later she opens the door in an oversized sweatshirt and leggings. her hair was pulled back messily.

you love her so much in that moment it actually hurts.

“hi.” you say softly.

karina steps aside to let you in.

“you didn’t have to come.”

“you asked.”

she doesn’t argue.

her skates are drying by the heater, and sits cross legged on her bed. you follow hesitantly, leaving just enough space between you to make her feel safe.

“thank you.” she mumbled.

“for what?”

“for being there today. i don’t think i could’ve kept it together if you weren’t.” she shrugged. 

“you don’t always have to keep it together.” 

“yeah. try telling my brain that.”

“he was hard on you today.” you say after a while. 

karina nods, looking down. “he’s always been that way. but i guess it hit harder today.”

you watch her for a moment.

“i already think the world of you.” you say without thinking. 

karina blinks, breath hitching.

and she leans in. just a little.

“if i ask you to stay… will you?”

you don’t hesitate.

“i’m already here.”

and you don’t know what time it is now.

only that the world has gone still.

karina hasn’t moved in a while. not since she adjusted the blanket over your legs. she’s barely said anything, really. but she hasn’t stopped looking at you.

and you haven’t stopped pretending you don’t notice.

you should go.

you tell yourself that again and again, but instead you turn your head and find her already watching you. her lips were parted like she was about to say something but changed her mind.

“what?” you whisper.

she shakes her head. “nothing.”

you hesitate. 

“you can say it.”

karina’s eyes search yours, and for a second it looks like she might. like she’ll confess something. or maybe let go of something she’s been holding in for so long.

instead, she mumbles. “i skate better when you’re here.” she says again. 

“i’ll be here. if you want me to.” you say.

“that’s the problem.”

your heart stutters.

she doesn’t explain. but she doesn’t have to.

you’re the coach’s daughter and she has a championship to win. and yet, you’re here.

and she wants you.

you’re both still sitting close, knees brushing under the blanket. close enough to kiss if you leaned in just a little.

and maybe she’s thinking the same thing. because she leans in.

barely.

barely enough that it could be a dream.

your breath catches.

your eyes flutter down to her mouth. and she hesitates.

she sits there, fingers twitching like she wants to reach for your hand.

but instead of kissing you, karina leans in further and folds herself into you.

her arms go around your waist, gentle and unsure.

her face buries into your neck.

and you hold her without saying a word. you let her heart beat against yours. your fingers find the edge of her sleeve and just stay there, gripping gently.

you don’t move after that. neither of you do. 

you’re half-asleep when you feel her exhale against your neck. 

her arms tightened slightly around you, and her forehead rests just beneath your jaw now. her warm breath fans your collarbone.

“i don’t know how to stop wanting you.”

you freeze. not all the way, but enough. enough that your breath stutters.

you don’t breathe for a full second after she says it.

you wonder if she even knows she said it or if it slipped through the cracks of exhaustion and everything else that she’s been holding in.

you feel her body relax against yours a moment later. her breathing slows. she’s asleep.

and you’re still wide awake, repeating her words in your head. 

you close your eyes and press your cheek lightly to the top of her head.

“i don’t want you to stop.”

she doesn’t stir. she doesn’t answer.

maybe she won’t remember the words she said. maybe she won’t remember yours. but you will. you always will.

───────────────────────

the rink is full of silence. when you arrive you just stand there and watch her for a moment.

karina is skating slow mindless loops, nothing like her usual precision. she’s moving like she’s trying to outrun invisible. you know what it is. because you heard it.

your father’s voice still rings in your ears, loud and relentless. it was another round of “you’re still not landing clean” and “if you’re gonna do that tomorrow, don’t even bother showing up.” it was another night where she nodded without speaking, biting her tongue hard enough to keep the tears from slipping out.

you didn’t interfere. you never do. but you watch. you always watch.

and maybe that’s why you’re here now, stepping through the gap in the railing and walking out onto the empty rink.

she doesn’t notice you right away. her eyes are focused elsewhere and her gaze is distant. you wonder if she even feels her skates gliding beneath her anymore, or if she’s somewhere else completely. a place where no one’s yelling.

you kneel at the edge of the rink. “karina?”

she slows instantly, head snapping toward your voice like muscle memory.

“hey.” you say softly. 

she looks at you for a moment.

“you— uh— your dad said that you left.” she says. her voice is quieter than usual.

“i came back.”

she skates closer, finally stepping off the ice. she doesn’t sit, she just stands in front of you while hugging herself.

“you saw.”

“i did.”

karina lets out a humorless laugh and looks away. “whatever. i’ve had worse. 

“that doesn’t make it okay.”

her eyes flicker back to yours. there’s a flash of something there but she looks down quickly, beginning to untie her boots.

“you were good today. better than good.”

“not good enough.”

“for him. but you don’t skate for him.”

her hands fall away from her laces. she straightens slowly and finally looks at you. there’s something about her expression, like she’s trying to figure out whether to let this moment happen or shut it down.

“and who do i skate for then?” she asks. your heart skips. “i don’t know. but when you skate, i can feel it. the emotion. it’s indescribable.” you mumble.

karina swallows.

you take a step forward, closing the space between you.

“but i can see it.”

“you always show up when i need you most. even when you don’t know it.” she whispered after a bit. 

“what, are you keeping track?” you laughed. 

she hums. “maybe.”

you don’t know that she cried last night. that her hands shook as she held the letter. she read the email from the coach six times before your dad finally admit that he recommended her. that she almost said no.

almost.

you also don’t know this might be the last time she skates in front of you.

not yet.

“you nervous about tomorrow?”

“you’re the one competing.”

“yeah, but… i skate better when you’re here.”

there it is again. the quiet truth that she keeps letting slip piece by piece.

you don’t know how to answer, so you just stay silent. karina’s blades click softly against the ice before she kicks them off and pulls on her sneakers.

then she’s looking at you again. the look that always makes your heart clench a little too tight.

“you ever think about what happens after regionals?” she asks suddenly.

“like nationals?” she hesitates. 

“no. i mean like… after us. after the season ends.”

you pause. “i haven’t. not really. why?”

but she’s already looking away, shoulders tense in a way that makes your stomach twist.

“you okay?”

“i just… it doesn’t matter.”

it does matter. you know it does, but you don’t push. instead, you laugh quietly. 

“you’ll win tomorrow.”

she laughs a little brokenly. “that’s not what i’m worried about.”

you don’t ask what it is. because maybe you’re scared to hear the answer.

karina fiddles with the edge of her sleeve with her eyes fixed on the rink, but her focus is elsewhere.

“you sure you’re okay?” you ask again, softer now.

she inhales. her throat bobs as she swallows.

“i got an offer. to train in america.” she says finally.

“america?”

“yeah.”

“for summer training?”

“no. like— move there. train full time. i’d be part of a national development program.”

your stomach drops. “oh.”

“it’s… huge. like, dream level. career changing.”

“wow. that’s amazing.”

and it is. it is. but you feel the words hurting in your throat like they’re glass.

karina’s fingers flex against her knee. “i leave monday.”

silence crashes over you.

“oh.” you say again, because it’s all you can say. your voice barely comes out. she finally turns to look at you. and this time, she looks right at you.

“i wasn’t going to tell you. i didn’t want to ruin tomorrow. but then you showed up and i… i needed tonight.” she says.

your heart twists.

“so this is goodbye?” you ask and you hate how small you sound. karina’s jaw clenches. “don’t say it like that.”

“how am i supposed to say it?”

you get ready to leave and she follows.

“i didn’t ask for this. i didn’t want to leave. but your dad— he pushed for it. he said it was the only way i’d make it.” she says.

your eyes sting. “and you didn’t tell me?”

“i didn’t want to make it harder.”

“it already is.”

she’s standing right behind you now. you can feel the warmth of her breath on your shoulder.

“i would stay. if i could. i almost did.” she whispers.

you turn to face her and she’s right there. closer than she’s ever been. her eyes flick to your lips once and that’s all it takes.

you kiss her.

it’s instinctual. you don’t even mean for it to happen. you just do it. a gentle kiss pressed to her lips. 

she goes very still.

you pull back the second you realize what you’ve done, already panicking.

“i— i’m sorry. that was— god, i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have—“

she grabs your wrist and pulls you in again.

she pulls you back in like she’s starved for you. your back hits the rink railing with a thud and the cold metal shocks you through your shirt, but you don’t even register it. not when she’s kissing you this messily, frantically, and desperately. 

her hands are everywhere. gripping into your hair, hugging the curve of your waist, keeping herself against your hips like she’s scared that you might disappear if she lets go. and maybe she is. maybe she knows.

“karina—” you gasp in between kisses, but she cuts you off with another kiss.

“i shouldn’t. you’re the coach’s daughter. i shouldn’t—“ she murmurs against your lips, but she doesn’t stop.

she pulls back long enough to look at you, eyes revealing that she’s trying to memorize this moment. and then she kisses you again. harder.

her hands slide under your jaw, cupping your face like it’s fragile, even though she kisses you like you aren’t.

the railing rattles under your grip as your body arches into hers, needing her closer before this all slips through your fingers.

because she’s leaving soon. because this ends soon. and you both feel it.

that’s why she kisses you like this. like she’s trying to carve the memory into her brain. like she’s terrified that this might the only time that she’ll ever get to touch you like this, and she needs to make it count.

“i’m so scared. i could win everything and i’m scared of what happens if i lose you after.” she whispers, forehead against yours.

you don’t answer.

you just hold her tighter.

you stay like that. pressed between her and the railing until the lights in the rink finally begin to dim for the night.

and she pulls back, with teary eyes.

“come tomorrow. please.”

you nod. 

three months after regionals. 

karina didn’t mean to come back to korea for long. it was just a short break so she could breathe again. she told everyone it was to reset. to clear her head before the next competition cycle. but no amount of sleep, early morning runs or phone calls with her mother, can ever fix the ache that settled in her chest three months ago.

not since she left you.

now she walks through familiar streets with a scarf tucked around her neck, hands in her coat pockets. she doesn’t tell anyone where she’s going. just says she’s going out for a bit and slips away before anyone can ask too many questions. her feet know the route before she does. every turn.

the closer she gets to the rink, the quieter her thoughts become. she pauses at the entrance for a long time, fingers stuck at the metal door handle. thr old banner hanging above the entrance has started to peel at the corners and a few letters faded. but it’s the same. everything is the same.

except her.

when she steps inside, it hits her all at once. the soft echo of her own footsteps against the floor reminds her of it all. this is where she became who she is.

and this is where she left the person who made her feel like herself.

she doesn't lace up her skates. doesn’t even sit down. she just walks the edge of the rink slowly, one hand following the railing. she can see her reflection staring back at her in the glass. she’s more tired and her eyes are flooded with something deeper than exhaustion.

she stops near the bench where she used to sit after practice. the same bench where you handed her water bottles, chocolates, and hand warmers. the same place where she started to let herself hope.

her chest tightens.

she doesn’t know what she was expecting. a sense of closure? a ghost of you?

but instead. you’re really there.

like no time has passed at all. like a prayer she didn’t know that she was still saying. and she can feel herself breathing again. 

at first, she thinks she’s imagining you.

you’re sitting on one of the benches, and your coat is pulled tight. your hands tucked into your sleeves and there's a water bottle resting beside you.

her heart stutters.

she blinks hard. more than once. and you’re still there.

she opens her mouth before she can stop herself, voice shaky and unsure for the first time in months. “…y/n?”

you look up. and that’s all it takes. karina swallows hard, taking a step forward. “is it really you?”

you nod slowly. like you can’t believe she’s real either.

“i didn’t think you’d be here.” you say quietly.

“i didn’t think you would.” she answers. “i was just just… I was passing by. I didn’t mean to—”

“you always pass by when you’re thinking too much.”

she huffs out a breath that was almost a laugh. her eyes are glassy now and she tries to blink it away but it clings.

“you look the same. but different.” she says.

“so do you.”

she hesitates before asking. “can i… come closer?” you don’t answer right away. you just shift slightly to the side on the bench to make space for her. that’s all she needs.

she walks across the empty floor slowly, skates swinging from one hand. she sits beside you, like the months between now and the last time meant nothing. or maybe they meant everything.

she finally breaks the silence with a voice that was barely above a whisper. “i skate better when you’re here.”

you turn to her and she’s already looking at you. “i don’t know why i said that,” she adds, flustered now. 

but you do. you know exactly why.

you lean your shoulder against hers and she leans back, like muscle memory.

neither of you speak again for a long time. but the familiarity of the silence is inevitable. like no matter how far you run, this was always where you’d end up. 

sitting next to each other. 

taglist — @saysirhc @prologue-ae @yuyuy90

[synity]

What Are We?

(Jeon Wonwoo x FemReader)

*angst, slow burn, romance, Emotional, Unspoken Love, Emotional Repression, Jealousy, Confusion, Heartbreak, Emotional Angs Healing Coming-of-Aget slice of life, Domestic Fluff Celebrity AU*

idol!Jeon!Wonwoo x BackDancer!Yn

The truth is: no one ever said anything.

There were no love confessions, no sticky declarations written on Post-its, no impulsive kisses in the rain. Instead, there were shared silences comfortable, long, meaningful. Glances that lingered a little too long to be casual. Brush of hands that neither of you pulled away from. Warmth in the passenger seat of his car. Quiet footsteps echoing into midnight halls after practice.

Wonwoo wasn’t your boyfriend. But he was yours. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

You met him when you were accepted as a dancer for SEVENTEEN’s promotions. The long nights of rehearsals, shared sweat, exhaustion, and tension quickly built a bond between you and the members. But no one as much as him.

Wonwoo, with his quiet intensity. Wonwoo, with his slow smiles and warm palms. Wonwoo, who held the door open, who carried your bag without asking, who waited until you were done tying your shoes before leaving practice. Who invited you to late dinners, who whispered your name like a secret he didn't want anyone else to hear.

At some point, his hoodie found its way into your wardrobe. His Spotify playlist lived on your phone. His scent lingered on your pillows. And your toothbrush lived beside his in the dorm.

Still, not once did he call you “mine.”

You didn’t push it. You cooked for him instead spicy ramyeon when he looked too tired, grilled chicken after dance practice. You packed leftovers and texted him to make sure he ate them. And in return, he hugged you from behind at the stove, cheek pressed to your shoulder. Sometimes he kissed the back of your neck. Sometimes your cheek. Occasionally, your temple.

Never your lips.

There were days you thought he’d say it. Days when the air was so thick with longing that you could barely breathe.

The night he brought you your favorite dessert, unprompted. The time he fell asleep with his head in your lap, fingers gripping your shirt like a child. The moment he caught your wrist gently and slipped on a matching bracelet with his initials carved inside.

He never said it. So you didn’t ask.

One Thursday, Mingyu invited you to spend the day with him. He’d gotten a new camera and wanted to film a short vlog, capturing little moments for fun.

You agreed why not? Mingyu was your best friend, loud and warm and always easy to be around. You visited a food market together, tried strawberry tteok, made funny faces into the lens. He even filmed you licking whipped cream off your finger, teasing you for your “messy mouth.”

You didn’t think it mattered.

Until that evening, when you posted a carousel of pictures you and Mingyu smiling in the sunset, you wearing his cap, the two of you laughing like kids and got nothing but silence from Wonwoo.

No like. No comment. No call.

You checked your messages. Nothing.

Later that night, you showed up at the dorm with a box of fried chicken and soju, hoping he’d be in the kitchen like usual. He wasn’t.

You walked to his room. Knocked.

“Wonwoo?”

“Come in.”

He was there lying on his bed, hoodie over his face.

You sat beside him. “I brought food.”

He hummed. Didn’t lift the hoodie.

“You okay?” you asked gently.

Another hum. A shrug.

Your heart sank a little. “You’re mad at me.”

“I’m not.”

“You didn’t reply to my texts.”

“I saw you were busy.”

Silence.

You sighed. “It was just Mingyu—”

“I know,” he said. “You don’t need to explain.”

But he wouldn’t look at you.

You reached out and peeled the hoodie from his face, brushing his bangs away. “You always look at me when I talk to you.”

His eyes flicked up to yours and there it was again. That look. That devastating, quiet affection that screamed what he wouldn’t say aloud.

He pulled you into his chest without another word.

That night, he stayed.

But you still didn’t kiss.

A week later.

You were in your apartment, drowsy from dance practice. Wonwoo had shown up late, like always, shoes toeing off by the door, arms opening as if by instinct when he saw you.

You curled up on the couch, his arm around you, your fingers intertwined.

Sleep pulled at your body warm and safe and quiet.

But at 2:11 a.m., your throat was dry. You stirred.

His side of the bed was empty.

The balcony door was open.

You rose silently, blanket still clinging to your shoulders, and stepped into the cool air.

Wonwoo stood there, shirt wrinkled, hair tousled, hands wrapped around the railing as he stared into the city lights like he didn’t belong to them.

You padded over, heart already aching. “Wonwoo?”

He didn’t turn. Just sighed.

You touched his arm gently. “Hey… are you okay?”

Still no answer.

Then: His voice, low. Tired. Cracking at the edges.

“…What are we?”

The words split the air like thunder. Small. Quiet. But loud enough to silence the world in your ears.

You stood frozen beside him, your hand still resting on his arm.

He didn’t look at you.

Not yet.

He was afraid.

And you were too.

But you’d asked yourself that same question so many times it was a familiar pain now like pressing on a bruise just to feel something.

“Wonwoo…” you whispered. You tried to smile, but it wobbled. “We’re friends, right?”

His knuckles went white against the railing.

A bitter laugh escaped him quiet, breathless.

“Friends don’t hold each other the way I hold you.”

You opened your mouth, then shut it.

He finally turned to you. His gaze was tired. Not because of sleep, but from holding it in for so long.

“Friends don’t kiss each other’s foreheads every time they drop each other off.”

His voice cracked.

“They don’t sleep in each other’s beds. They don’t cuddle under one blanket. They don’t… look at each other like they’re afraid to blink.”

You looked down.

He stepped closer, hands clenched at his sides. “Do you know what it does to me when I see you laughing with Mingyu?”

Your head snapped up. “Wonwoo—”

“I know he’s your best friend,” he said, quickly. “I know. I shouldn’t feel this way. But I do. I can’t help it.”

He stared at you like he wanted to memorize your face.

“I see him making you laugh. I see the way he looks at you. And I keep wondering… if he’ll say what I’m too much of a coward to say.”

The air was thick now.

“You’re not a coward,” you whispered.

“I am,” he said, softer. “Because I’ve wanted to tell you for months. That I’m in love with you. That you mean more to me than anyone else ever has. That you’re the only thing on my mind when I’m dancing, when I’m eating, when I’m on stage. It’s always you.”

Tears welled in your eyes.

“Wonwoo…”

He took a deep breath. “But you never said it either.”

Your silence was louder than anything.

Because he was right.

You never said it. Not once. And now he was saying it all at once, raw and trembling.

You tried to speak, but the words trembled. “I didn’t know if I could… if I should.”

His voice broke again. “Why?”

You hesitated. “Because we never set boundaries. We just… acted like we were something. And I didn’t want to ruin it by assuming more.”

His jaw tightened. “So we’ve both been in love with each other this whole time, and we’ve done nothing about it?”

Your heart was bleeding.

You nodded.

He exhaled a shaky breath and ran a hand down his face. “Y/N, I don’t want to be your almost anymore.”

You blinked, the first tear falling.

“I want to be the one who walks into the room and kisses you in front of everyone. I want to be the one who takes you home to my parents. I want to hold your hand in public, take stupid couple pictures, and buy you flowers just because it’s Wednesday.”

You were crying now, full and quiet.

“I want to stop pretending this is casual when it’s been everything to me.”

You opened your mouth.

And you finally said it.

“I love you, Wonwoo.”

The silence after was brief like the pause before a first kiss.

He looked at you, eyes filled with something you’d never seen before: relief. Heartbreak. Hope.

But the pain hadn’t passed yet.

He took a step back.

“But if you love me,” he said slowly, “then why do I still feel like I’m losing you?”

You froze.

“…What?”

He shook his head. “Every time I see you with someone else even if it’s Mingyu I feel like I’m being left behind. And I hate feeling like that. I hate feeling like loving you is supposed to be a secret.”

“Wonwoo—”

“No. I can’t keep doing this if we’re going to keep hiding behind excuses. If you love me, then be with me.”

You stared at him, lips parted.

And you whispered, voice shaking:

“I want to.”

“But?”

“I’m scared.”

He waited.

“What if this ruins everything?”

Wonwoo stepped forward again. “Then let it. Let it ruin everything else as long as I still have you.”

And you broke.

You launched into his arms, burying your face in his chest, his arms catching you like they were made to.

“I love you,” you sobbed. “I love you, and I’m sorry it took me so long.”

He kissed your head over and over and over.

“I know,” he whispered. “I know.”

The morning after didn’t feel like a dream.

It felt real like bruises after a fall, like quiet after a storm.

You woke up in your bed, sunlight spilling onto the sheets, your limbs tangled with Wonwoo’s.

His chest rose and fell, his arm wrapped around you protectively, like he thought you’d disappear if he let go.

You didn’t move.

You didn’t want to.

Not yet.

Because today was going to hurt in ways neither of you expected.

In the dance studio, it was silent.

Not because people weren’t talking but because you and Wonwoo weren’t.

Mingyu watched you from across the room. Seungkwan did too.

Something felt different. Off. Off-kilter.

You smiled too little.

Wonwoo laughed too much.

And that’s how they knew.

He was hiding again.

You were retreating.

And all the little things that once made your relationship glow the glances, the touches, the whispers were gone.

Because now it was real.

And real was terrifying.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Wonwoo said one night, two weeks later.

You were packing up your bag after rehearsal, your muscles aching and your throat dry.

“No, I haven’t.”

“You haven’t texted me first in five days.”

You looked at him.

He looked tired. Like he hadn’t slept. Like your silence was gnawing at his ribs.

“I thought we said no more pretending,” he added softly.

You clutched your hoodie tighter around yourself. “I’m not pretending.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I’m giving you space,” you said, quieter now. “Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I wanted you,” he said. “Not space.”

You sighed, looking away.

“Then say something,” he begged. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Your throat felt tight.

“What if this isn’t enough?” you asked.

Wonwoo blinked. “What?”

“What if us… this thing we have… what if it’s not enough to survive everything else? The schedules. The pressure. Our silence. What if it breaks us?”

He was quiet for a long time.

Then, “Then let it break us honestly. Loudly. Not like this.”

You finally met his eyes.

“I’m scared, Wonwoo.”

“So am I,” he whispered. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop fighting for you.”

A beat.

“Will you?”

You didn’t answer right away.

Because you didn’t know.

The following week, things got worse.

Wonwoo got sick.

And you weren’t there.

You’d promised to be, but you were too afraid. Too fragile. Too wrapped up in everything you were feeling.

So Mingyu stepped in.

He texted you after: He keeps asking for you, you know.

And still, you didn’t go.

Until one night, you stood outside his door with a plastic bag of tangerines, honey tea, and the soup you always made him.

You didn’t knock.

You didn’t ring the bell.

You just stood there frozen wondering if he was better off without you.

When the door opened without warning, you jumped.

Wonwoo stood there, in a hoodie and sweatpants, pale and groggy-eyed.

He blinked. “Y/N?”

You held up the bag, awkward. “I, um. I brought you soup.”

He stepped aside, letting you in without a word.

You sat on the couch. He sat beside you. You said nothing.

Until he spoke.

“I thought you stopped caring.”

Your chest tightened.

“I thought,” he continued, “you regretted everything you said that night.”

“I didn’t,” you said quickly.

“Then why didn’t you come?”

“Because I thought I was bad for you.”

Wonwoo blinked.

You swallowed. “I make things complicated. I pull away when things get hard. I think too much. Feel too much. I ruin everything I touch.”

Wonwoo stared at you for a long time.

Then he reached over, cupped your cheek, and whispered,

“Then let me be ruined.”

Tears blurred your vision.

“I don’t care if this is messy. I don’t care if it’s hard. I don’t care if it breaks us sometimes. I want you flaws, fears, doubts, all of it.”

You let out a shaky breath.

And finally, finally, you leaned in.

And kissed him.

A real kiss. Honest. Full. No silence. No pretending.

Just you and him.

Wonwoo pulled you into his lap, his arms around your waist, your hands in his hair.

You whispered against his mouth, “I’m scared.”

“I know,” he murmured, resting his forehead against yours. “But we’ll figure it out. Together.”

One Month Later

The studio was quiet, the members gone.

You sat on the floor, your back against the wall, watching Wonwoo dance.

He smiled when he looked at you.

And you smiled back.

Things weren’t perfect.

But they were real.

You reached into your hoodie pocket and touched the matching bracelet the one he gave you months ago.

Wonwoo walked over, offered his hand.

You took it.

“Want to go home?” he asked.

You nodded.

And for the first time in a long time, the word “home” made sense.

Because it was him.

It was always him.

One Year Later

The night was soft. Quiet. The kind of peace that feels earned like a reward for the storm you survived.

You and Wonwoo sat on your balcony wrapped in a thick blanket. The summer breeze kissed your cheeks as you sipped on chilled white wine. His arm was around you, your head on his shoulder, your bodies swaying gently with the evening wind.

Downstairs, the lights in your shared apartment glowed warmly, and the gentle meows of Kiko your orange cat and Nicole your gray cat echoed faintly from the window you’d left open. They were probably curled on your bed, just like they always were.

Wonwoo turned his head slightly, placing a kiss to your temple.

"You know," he murmured, "this is where I want to stay forever."

You looked up at him, eyes twinkling, joking, "On the balcony?"

He chuckled, that deep, honey-coated laugh of his. "No, silly. With you. Like this. Always."

You smiled into his chest, your hand absentmindedly reaching for his. You felt something cold slide onto your palm.

You looked down.

It was a ring.

Your heart stopped.

"Wonwoo..."

“I was going to do it in a restaurant,” he said, nervous but smiling. “Make a big deal out of it. The music, the candles, the suit... But then I realized, the most ‘us’ place is right here. In our home. Where we healed. Where we grew.”

You blinked fast, trying not to cry.

“Y/N,” he continued, “I love you. For the way you make soup when I’m sick. For the way you smile with your eyes. For the way you always save the last dumpling for me even when you want it. For the way you believed in me even when I didn’t. So... will you marry me?”

You didn’t even let him finish before you tackled him with a hug, both of you laughing as the ring rolled onto the floor.

“Yes,” you whispered breathlessly. “Yes, yes, yes.”

He kissed you softly, fingers in your hair, and the world disappeared.

Three Months Later

Living together was a dream but not a perfect one.

There were burnt pancakes, Kiko chewing cables, Nicole waking you both up at 4 a.m. just for attention, and arguments over who left the bathroom floor wet.

But in between those moments were soft Sunday mornings.

You would wake up to Wonwoo brushing your hair behind your ear, whispering, “Good morning, koala.”

You would cook together in mismatched pyjamas him behind you, arms wrapped around your waist as you stirred ramen.

He always teased, “You only love me because I can open pickle jars.”

And you’d roll your eyes, “You only love me because I kill spiders.”

There was laughter. Play fights with spatulas. Kisses between chopping garlic.

And every night ended the same way you two curled up on the couch, limbs tangled, cats purring at your feet.

Your favorite position was koala-style you draped over him like a blanket, your face buried in the crook of his neck.

“You’re heavy,” he always teased.

“You love it,” you’d mumble.

And he did. So much.

One Week Before the Announcement

You were nervous.

Wonwoo sat on the edge of your bed, Kiko on his lap, Nicole purring on your pillow.

"You don't have to tell them now," you whispered, twisting your hands together. "We could wait a little."

But Wonwoo looked at you like you hung the stars.

"I want to," he said. "I'm proud of us. I want the world to know you’re mine."

You blinked, heart swelling.

"And I’m yours."

The Announcement

It wasn’t flashy.

It was just a casual Weverse Live the same ones Wonwoo usually did with a cozy hoodie and sleepy eyes.

But this time, he wore a shirt you’d ironed that morning.

"CARATs," he said with a soft smile, "I have someone really special in my life. She’s been my best friend, my peace, my home... and we’re engaged."

The comments exploded.

He laughed, eyes crinkling, and added, "Her name’s Y/N. Some of you might recognize her. She’s been part of our world behind the scenes for a while now. She makes the best kimchi stew. And she stole my heart."

He blushed at his own words and mumbled, “I’m really happy. I hope you can be happy with me too.”

The support flooded in.

And somewhere, watching from your living room, Kiko curled beside you, Nicole on your lap you cried.

Happy tears.

Because this wasn’t just your love story anymore.

It was yours and his, shared with the world loud, fearless, and wrapped in forever.

Your wedding was intimate.

Soft jazz, moonlit vows, your hands in his as you whispered promises between laughter and tears.

Now?

You wore his hoodie and cuddled with him on the couch, a sleepy Nicole snuggled into your stomach.

Wonwoo rubbed your back, looking at you like you were a miracle.

“You’re glowing.”

“Because of the wedding?”

“No,” he said, touching your stomach gently. “Because of him.”

You smiled, tears in your eyes.

“Koala,” he whispered, kissing your forehead, “we’re gonna be parents.”

[no-phrogs-in-hats]

Snacks, Candy, and Prenatal Vitamins

Avenger!Agatha x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Word count: 3,777

Content warnings: Mentions of getting drunk, medical terminology, needles, blood, pregnancy, arguments

Summary: After passing out during an Avengers training session, Agatha insists on taking you to the hospital.

A/N: Hello! I originally had another oneshot planned (It's still in the works dw) but I couldn't stop thinking about this, and wrote it in less than a day. So, voila, enjoy!

Spotify

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Masterlist

“It’s five o’clock!” Steve’s voice rings out on the other side of your bedroom door. “Come on! Let’s go! Training’s in an hour!”

Agatha groans loudly beside you. “Why?” she mumbles into her pillow. “Why is it always so damn early? The sun isn’t even up yet!”

You roll over, arm over her waist as you curl up against her back. “Just think about the shower afterwards,” you say, kissing her neck. “Those are always fun…”

She sighs, “You’re very persuasive, you know that?”

Morning training is always the worst. Nobody is in a good mood, except Steve–until everyone starts giving him attitude and he starts giving it back.

“I don’t know why I keep agreeing to these early morning trai–” Agatha pauses when you step out of the closet. You can feel her eyes as she looks you up and down, biting her lip when she sees you’re wearing those leggings–the leggings that hug your hips just right and make your ass pop. Her favorite leggings. “Nevermind,” she shrugs. “They’re tolerable.”

The smell and feel of the training room is something that’s engraved in your brain. The sun isn’t up and the fluorescent lights are bright, and it’s so cold that you don’t even want to remove your jacket. There are less people here today, but to be fair, this past weekend was filled with a heavy amount of drinking.

There is a new-comer, however. And he’s bright eyed, standing by his mother and talking to Peter.

“Agatha!” Billy spots you both and waves, smiling brightly.

Agatha groans, “Billy, you cannot be this hyper at six in the morning.” 

“I’m just really excited!” he chirps.

You rub a soothing circle on Agatha’s back and she sighs, her voice a mumble. “It’s enough that I have to mentor him, but training with him at six in the goddamn morning?” She huffs and swipes at the corner of her eye before glancing at you with a sly smirk. “If you weren’t wearing those leggings I’d be back in bed–actually they might convince me to bring both of us back to bed.”

As usual, you’re the last two down for training, and when Steve sees you, you’re immediately hit with a scolding. 

“At this point, I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve been late,” he huffs. “It’s rude, it's disrespectful, and it’s inconsiderate! We have training at six every time! Next time, be here on time!”

When Steve turns around, the both of you try to hold back your giggles, but it’s hard. It’s so easy to get him worked up–especially when Agatha does it. 

“Alright!” Steve hollars. When everyone stops talking you can hear the sound of the air conditioning humming. “We’re gonna be trying something new today! Tony, here, has whipped up some holograms for us today. They’ll give us a much more realistic approach to training.” 

He goes over to a platform and a touchpad screen turns on. He inputs a code and adjusts some settings before blue holograms–at least six feet tall and masculine–are built from the ground up.

Steve turns around, arms crossed. “There are five platforms for hologram training, and because Bucky decided to skip training today, there’s an even number.” He looks at the group, thinking hard. “Sam, you’re with me. The Maximoffs–Wanda, Billy–you two are at platform 2. Parker, Stark, platform 3.”

“Bossing me around in my own damn training center,” Tony grumbles, following Peter over to their platform.

“Harkness, you two are a pair–platform 4,” Steve says. “And Nat and Clint, platform 5”

On his own platform with Sam, Steve addresses the rest of the room. “We’re gonna start off on the first level. Nice and easy.”

The first level of the holograms wasn’t too bad. You had definitely faced much harder assailants. It’s around the eighth level that it becomes harder. You’re ahead of everyone but Wanda and Billy, not by much, maybe a couple levels, but you’re struggling. You’re out of breath, barely able to keep up with Agatha, and it’s becoming more and more noticeable.

As you miss another hologram and your orange ball of magic hits a metal rail, Agatha pauses the round. “Are you okay?” There’s a genuine concern in her eyes–and it’s not just concern, but worry.

“Yeah,” you huff, catching your breath. You look around, watching as the rest of the group continue with their training. Tony gives Peter a numerous amount of pointers just for Peter to end up getting distracted and knocked to the floor, while Wanda and Billy both upstage everyone with their “fancy powers” as Agatha had called them.

“Are you sure?” Agatha asks, coming to stand in front of you. Her hand goes to your forehead to check your temperature. “You’re not hot…but you look like you just saw a ghost. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” you repeat, breathless. “Just need some water…”

The both of you sit on a bench, your head on her shoulder as you watch the rest of the group train. The sun is fully up now and Wanda and Billy have already advanced to level ten, the next one back being Tony and Peter at level eight. 

When Steve yells at Sam for being too slow, Sam snaps, “I’m still hungover from Saturday! You’re lucky I even showed up today, Rodgers!”

You and Agatha sit in silence before your ears tune in to the music. You sit up straight, eyebrows scrunching as you listen harder. “Is this ABBA? Is he playing ABBA?”

“Oh my god, he’s playing ABBA,” Agatha gapes.

“Hm…Remember that ABBA concert we went to?” you ask, hand resting on her thigh. As you and Agatha talk, your eyes wander and notice that both Steve and Sam have left their platform and are walking towards the benches. “Steve!” you call. “I didn’t know you listen to ABBA! Who do you think Sophie’s dad is in Mamma Mia?”

“Bill! And ABBA is for everyone!” he says pointedly.

“You alright?” Sam asks you. “You look terrible.”

“Thank you, Sam,” you smile, words laced with sarcasm. “I’m fine. Come on, Agatha, let’s go.”

But as you stand, Agatha just a few steps ahead, your stomach drops. Pressure fills your head and your vision is fuzzy with black dots.

Agatha turns around and looks at you, her face dropping. “What’s wrong”

“Nothing,” you mumble. But your head spins, and the banana you had for breakfast threatens to come back up. Your words are uttered with barely a whisper and it feels like your lungs are screaming for oxygen. “Fine…I’m–I just…”

“Fuck!” Agatha’s beside you within an instant. Her arms wrap around you as you fall to the floor, and you drag her with you. 

All training halts and Wanda and Billy are the first ones to rush over.

“What happened?” Billy sputters as the other four run over.

“I don’t know!” Agatha snaps, her cheeks red as she panics. “She stood up and she collapsed! Fuck! Call an ambulance or something!”

Voices slowly become faint, like a distant calling before a dull ache starts to fill your head. You’re confused. Your senses are slowly coming back. You can feel the cold tile beneath your hands and legs, but your head is on something soft. You can barely make out the words you hear, but they’re there.

Your eyes flutter open and close against the bright light. “Ow…” You mumble incoherent words before your hands press into your eyes.

“Oh, thank the gods,” Agatha breathes, trying to hide her subtle sniffles. 

Steve huffs, crouching down beside you. “You alright?”

“Obviously, she’s not alright!” Agatha scowls. “She was just unconscious for–!”

“Stop yelling,” you mutter. When your eyes open fully, you’re surrounded by faces. And coming to your senses, you can feel the familiar touch of Agatha’s hands on either side of your head. Her thumbs caress your temples and you can hear her trying to steady her breathing. “My head hurts.”

Agatha asks–or demands–for your water bottle and you slowly sit up, sipping at the water. As you slowly stand, Agatha helps you up. “Come on,” she says softly. “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“Woah, what?” You stop abruptly. “I don’t need to be taken to the hospital!”

“You just collapsed with no warning and for no apparent reason,” Tony says, his face stone cold as he stares you down. “You’re going to the hospital.”

You argue with Agatha the entire drive to the hospital. When she pulls into the parking lot, you sigh. “At least it’s NYU.”

“Where did you think I was going?” Agatha scoffs. “Presbyterian? Now, come on, let’s go.” 

But in the end, you’re walking through the doors to the emergency room. With a wristband on, you wait almost an hour to be seen.

“I knew we should’ve called an ambulance,” Agatha mutters to herself. “It would’ve been so much faster.”

You don’t answer her, though. Instead, you take her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze.

When called back, you’re taken to a decent sized room. You strip your clothes, changing into a gown and sitting back on the bed as you get your vitals taken. The blood pressure cuff squeezes your bicep and when you look over, Agatha is in the corner folding your clothes in a neat pile.

“Agatha, you don’t have to fold them to a tee,” you chuckle. 

“I know,” she mumbled. “But I know how you like your clothes organized.”

The nurses’ assistant writes your vitals down in your chart and then hands you a cup. “I do need a quick urine sample. There’s a bathroom down the hall when you’re ready, and your nurse should be in soon to get a blood sample.”

A frenzy of doctors join you when the aide leaves. A neurology attending with her four interns go over what happened–to which Agatha had to answer most of the questions. Lights are shined in your eye–both pupils are equally reactive–and reflexes are tested. To neurology, you’re fine, but before the doctor leaves, she says, “We’ll see what comes back on the labs and determine whether or not an MRI will be next.”

It’s quiet now. Agatha sits on the edge of the bed, hand grazing your forehead and moving down to your cheek. She purses her lips, “Are you feeling any better? Do you need anything? Water, another blanket, a–”

“Agatha,” you interrupt, taking her hand from your cheek and placing a kiss on her wrist. “I’m okay. Stop worrying.”

“No,” she says, dropping her hand. “I won’t stop worrying. You collapsed in my arms after insisting you were okay. It was scary.” You’ve known her for 119 years, and not once had you seen her this worried over anything. “We’re married now, and we’ve known each other for over a century.” She leans in close, hand on your cheek as she gives you a pointed look. “We met during the most famous shipwreck in history. I’d think with all we’ve been through, we’d be able to confide in each other when we’re not okay.”

You sigh as Agatha kisses your cheek, “I know…” Her hand holds yours and you avert your gaze, speaking hesitantly, “It was–I guess–kind of…scary.”

“I love you,” Agatha says finally. “If anything happened to you, I have no idea what I’d do with myself.” She pauses. “I’m not even joking, because there’s no way I’m staying with them if you’re gone.”

You giggle and kiss her hand before the nurse comes in to draw your blood. When she leaves the room, you heave yourself out of bed and take the cup that sits on the counter.

“Nice panties,” Agatha snickers.

You reach behind you and pull the hospital gown closed while snapping your head back to look at her. “Shut up. You love them.”

“Oh, I do,” she grins, nodding in agreement. “That’s why I bought them for you.”

When finished with your business, you climb back into bed. Agatha sits in a chair beside the bed, scrolling on her phone with one hand while the other holds yours, and you’re preoccupied watching whatever’s on the hospital TV. Neither of you speak. It’s quiet. Not awkward. But it’s peaceful. 

A knock on the sliding glass door startles you and the nurse assigned to you walks in, closing the door behind her promptly. She rubs hand sanitizer into her hands and takes a seat on the rolling stool beneath the counter. Agatha puts her phone away and holds your hand tighter–if that’s even possible.

“So, a few things showed up on your lab work,” she starts. “The first thing is that you’re anemic–you’re well below the healthy level of iron for women. The second is that you have a Vitamin D insufficiency. The optimal range is usually between 30 and 50, but you’re at 22. It’s not enough to call it a deficiency, but it is lower than we’d like it to be.” She takes a deep breath, and pauses, almost as if she’s figuring out how to tell you the rest. “And the third thing is that you’re pregnant.”

Your chest tightens and everything seems to stop. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Your words are strained and you look at Agatha who looks equally as shocked as you. “I’m–you’re sure?”

“Yes,” the nurse says. “Positive in both the blood and urine test. If you’d like, I could get OB down here, or if you’d rather, I could get you a list of OB’s in the area and have them staple it to your discharge papers.”

Your mouth hasn’t shut. Everything the nurse is saying is going in one ear and out the other. 

“I–Um…” You have to remember what she just said. “No, the list will be fine, thank you.”

When the door shuts behind the nurse neither of you speak. Neither of you speak for a while, but your hands never unclasp. You lean against the bedrail, chin supported by your palm as you think hard.

“It was the Adirondacks,” you mutter.

“What?” 

“The Adirondacks,” you repeat. “Upstate. The coven went to the Adirondacks for Yule and Christmas. That’s the only time it could’ve…We haven’t done anything like that since–we’ve been so damn busy and I…”

You have to stop talking. So many thoughts rush through your head, and you want to say every single one, but you have no idea where to start.

After your IV is removed, Agatha helps you with your clothes. Neither of you talk, even on your way back to the car, discharge papers in her purse and her hand in yours. 

It’s quiet as she drives, she glances over at you, hands fidgeting on the steering wheel. “There’s–uhh–there’s an OB clinic by the Tower,” she says quietly. “I think it’s within walking distance.”

“Can we go back to Westview?” you mumble, looking out the window. “I don’t want to go back to the Tower right now.”

As you hit traffic, she curses under her breath. She looks over at you, face softening. “Yeah, of course.” She reaches over and swipes through her contacts on the car touchscreen. 

When she presses Tony’s contact, it only rings twice before he picks up. “What’s goin’ on? Any updates? How’s she doing?”

You crack a smile hearing how worried he is, but Agatha sighs. “Yes, she’s okay. We’ve left the hospital, but we’re going to Westview for a couple days.”

“Why are you going to Westview?” he asks, rushing through his words. “I thought–”

“I’m hanging up now,” she interrupts, reaching for the screen again. “Goodbye, Tony.”

It’s always impressed you how effortlessly Agatha drives through Manhattan. Every time you’ve driven through the city, you’ve white-knuckled the steering wheel. And even now, with your current situation, you have no idea how she’s doing it, how she’s staying so calm.

With traffic, it takes almost twenty minutes to get to the Lincoln Tunnel. After that, it’s smooth sailing–until you stop at a red light in Ridgefield. When you look out the window, you notice it immediately–a gray minivan. And through the rear driver’s side passenger window, you can see a baby–maybe a year old–leaning forward to see out the window. It waves its fist in the air and smiles.

And then the light turns green and it’s gone.

You try to hold back your tears but your throat is becoming increasingly tighter, until a choked breath cracks the foundation. Tears are streaming from your eyes and your cheeks burn. As your palms press into your eyes, Agatha looks over at you, eyes wide as she tries to focus on the road.

“Okay, hold on,” she says. 

She ends up pulling into the parking lot of a drugstore. When she parks, she doesn’t say anything, and instead lets every thought you have spill out–even as you struggle to talk.

“This isn’t how it was supposed to happen!” you sob. “We–we were supposed–to take a couple years–we haven’t even been married for a year!” You wipe your eyes, but the tears keep coming and you take in a shuddering breath. “I don’t–I know I wanted–It’s–Agatha I’m terrified!”

“Sweetheart, it’ll be alright. We–” 

Her voice is soft as you break down further, and it sends a moment of anger through you. “How are you so calm about this?” you yell. “It’s not even noon and our entire life has been flipped upside down!”

Agatha’s taken aback and you can see the hurt in her face as she retaliates. “Well, somebody has to be calm! Nothing will happen if we both freak out!” She rests her elbow on the door, and when she speaks you can hear her voice crack. “I’m just as terrified as you! For Christ’s sake, the last time this happened…You know damn well what–” Her voice quiets and you watch as she follows you in tears. “–what happened the last time…” 

She doesn’t finish her sentence. She doesn’t need to. His name has only been mentioned a handful of times in your relationship.

You both fall quiet, save for the trembling breaths as you try to pull yourself together.

“Just take some deep breaths,” she sighs. “I’m sorry for yelling.”

“No,” you say, “it’s fine. Both of us were out of line. I wasn’t even thinking about how you feel. I just…neither of us had good parental figures.”

Agatha lets out a humorless laugh and sniffles. “Yeah.”

“I know you’ve done this before,” you say, breath shaking. “But I haven’t. I haven’t been a mother. I wouldn’t know the first thing about being one.” Before Agatha can respond you gasp, tears flooding your eyes again. “Oh, my god! I got drunk on Saturday with everyone! Agatha–!”

She doesn’t let you finish. Instead, she unbuckles your seatbelt and pulls you into her arms. While leaning over the center console, she holds you tight against her shoulder. “Okay, it’s okay!” she says. One hand rubs up and down your back while the other holds the back of your head. “It’s okay. We’ll be okay. I know, you’re scared, but…” Agatha pulls away, cupping your cheeks and wiping your tears with her thumbs. She purses her lips and looks over your face. “We’ll get through it,” she sighs. “You’re not doing this alone, okay? It’s my kid too, and I’ll make damn sure the both of you are taken care of.”

You nod and let out a shaky sigh. “Okay,” you whisper, leaning into her embrace.

“Conveniently, we ended up at a CVS,” she hums. “Stay here. I’ll go inside and get some vitamins.” She pulls away and wipes a stray tear from your cheek. “I’ll be back.”

Right after Agatha leaves, you get a call on your phone and you look down.

Wanda.

Fuck.

You swipe the call open, trying to put on the best faux happy voice you could. “Hey!” you chirp, but your voice cracks. “What’s up?”

“Well, Tony said you and Agatha are going to Westview for a couple days,” Wanda’s voice says from the other line.  “Just making sure everything’s okay. Billy’s pretty worried, so…”

You hesitate. “Yeah! Yeah, everything’s okay!”

“You know, you’re a terrible liar,” Wanda says. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing–”

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?” she says.

You blank, and at this point there’s no use in denying it. “I–yeah. Just, don’t tell anyone, please. We haven’t even had an ultrasound yet.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” she chuckles. “I’m just glad you’re okay. Now, actually take care of yourself, please. I’ll see you in a few days.”

After about fifteen minutes, Agatha returns with three bags. As she climbs back into the car, she huffs and starts to sort through the bags, and the entire time she rambles, you can’t help but smile. 

“Okay, I looked up the best prenatal vitamins,” she says, taking out one of the five containers she bought. “They have a really high rating, recommended by doctors, organic ingredients. Oh, and I got anti-nausea medicine that’s safe for pregnancy.” 

She puts the container of vitamins back in the bag and sets it down at your feet, moving to the next two, which are filled with snacks. “I also got you your favorite snacks. And popcorn, and…” Agatha rifles through one of the bags before holding up a bag of your favorite candy. “And I found these. I was thinking maybe we could watch a movie tonight, or something.”

Your throat gets tight again and your lip starts to tremble. Agatha’s face drops, “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you sniffle, leaning over the center console to hug her tightly. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, honey,” she mutters into your hair.

You take a deep breath and let out a watery laugh. “Oh god, what’s Tony gonna think?”

Agatha pulls away, her hands on your shoulders as she gives you a pointed look. “If Tony has a problem with anything, then he’ll have to take it up with me.” She sits back and buckles her seatbelt before turning the car on. “Alright, let’s go get some lunch. All you’ve had is a banana today, and you’re eating for two now.”

For the past hour and a half, you couldn’t think of anything but the negative. But now, as Agatha’s hand rests on your thigh, she asks a million questions, all of them with a smile on her face.

“Whose eyes do you think it’ll have?”

“Do you think it’ll be a boy or a girl?”

“Oh, what color magic do you think they’ll have?”

And as she asks each one, not even giving you a chance to respond between them, you’re slowly being convinced that maybe, just maybe, you’ll be okay.

[innocent-artery]

Two Doors Down

2.5k words

Summary: Your vibrator dies mid-session, so your roommate offers to help you out.

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky Barnes x reader

For the sake of avoiding spoilers, extensive warnings will not be given. This story includes sexually explicit material, reader discretion advised.

While listening, I recommend listening to enemies to lovers, a spotify playlist by me!

~

"God fucking damn it!"

Your frustrated curse echoed off the walls of your bedroom, followed by a dull thump of your vibrator falling on the mattress. You sat up begrudgingly and flopped over the bed, reaching for the charger and plugging in the toy.

You huffed, sitting on the bed for a few moments before tugging your shorts back on and standing, leaving your bedroom to go explore the great unknown: your apartment.

The sound of the television was more audible when your door opened, the white and blue lights from the TV tinting the entire living room and kitchen area in a cold glow. While your eyes needed a second to adjust to the change from the dim, warm light of your room, Bucky, your roommate, was staring blankly at the television, listening to the newscaster droning on while sifting through a bowl of cereal with a spoon.

You didn't greet him, despite the tiny alarm in your head telling you it was bad manners. You stomped past him, headed for the fridge to find leftover pasta. Once a bowl was heated up, you stomped around over to the couch, flopping down beside him.

Bucky raised a brow. "You doin' alright?" He asked through a mouthful of cereal.

"Yeah."

"Then stop stabbing your pasta."

You looked down to see your fork digging into the bottom of the bowl, spearing through the noodles with more aggression than was necessary.

"I'm fine."

"Wanna tell me?"

Your mind raced just at the thought of his suggestion. "No. Nothing's wrong."

"Ah." He turned back to the television, one leg crossing over the other. "Thought it might have somethin' to do with your vibrator dying on you."

You nearly choked, head whipping around to watch him incredulously. "How-"

"TV ain't on that loud." He snorted.

You buried your face in your palms, cheeks warm. Bucky only laughed at your mortification.

"Hey, it's all good." Bucky waved a hand in dismissal, you caught it as you lifted your head. Your gaze somehow got stuck on it, specifically, his fingers. The thought of them on you made the heat in between your legs flare up again. You could practically feel them tilting your chin up, tugging your hips closer, prodding into your cunt...

Bucky seemed to notice your sudden interest, looking between your eyes to his hand and back with curiosity. He let out a soft 'ah', a grin of delight splitting his face. When you finally clocked in on his understanding, silent but knowing, you looked down in what was definitely the least subtle way possible.

"Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I can't remember a time when hands didn't get the job done."

That didn't help your embarrassment, and for some reason you continued the conversation. "Well, I can't get the right angle..."

Bucky exhaled, passing his tongue over his teeth. "Tell me to shut up if I've got the wrong idea. But I have hands." You peeked out from your hands. He wiggled his metal fingers slowly as if to prove the obvious. "I think you've noticed."

All of the thoughts you'd wrestled with moments ago came flooding in again. Sparks of excitement shot down your belly, and you swore your heartrate doubled.

You attempted to keep an even voice, but nonchalance definitely escaped you for the timebeing. "So... what's your point?"

You were terrified you might have misread the situation. That this excitement would die down and you'd be left wanting him. You needed him to tell you.

"My point is," Bucky uncrossed his legs, turning to face you and leaning forward. "That I'm offering to do what your vibrator can't."

You were shivering with excitement, voice shaking as you sighed,

"Please."

Bucky stood slowly, pushing off of the couch with his hands. His gaze was fixated on you, bordering on ravenous as he eyed you up and down. He relished the way your eyes followed his, and as a result, when he finally towered over you, he was met with a sight that made his cock throb.

You could feel your head turning cloudy, anticipation bubbling in your stomach as you peered up at Bucky. A single, metal hand came up to your chin, stroking slowly over the bone. Your eyes fluttered, leaning into his touch.

"Poor thing." Bucky tutted, shaking your head side to side a bit. "So pitiful. Can't even get off right, needs a toy to get the job done."

You whimpered when he used his grip on your jaw to make you nod yes.

"Shh, you're okay. 'M right here, gonna take good care of you. Yeah?"

"Yeah," you replied weakly.

"Good." Bucky let go of your face, opting to sit on the couch instead, legs spread wide. He patted one of his thighs, gesturing with the other. "C'mon, take a seat."

You crawled over him, hands resting on his shoulders tentatively. Bucky traced a finger up the column of your throat, sending a shiver down your spine. The pressure on the underside of your jaw brought your gaze upwards.

"Gonna need you to keep your eyes on me, dove, think y'can do that?"

You nodded slowly, itching to move but frozen in place by his attention.

"Good." Bucky's hand was a whisper around your throat, quickly finding its home again on your jaw. His thumb swiped over your bottom lip, to which your mouth fell open oh so slightly.

His lips quirked in amusement. His thumb pressed down, earning your jaw lowering further. Two fingers slipped past your lips to settle on your tongue and you happily took them, one hand coming to hold his wrist in place while you suckled.

His free hand began rising up your hips, and you straightened your posture at the feeling, almost tickling. They descended just after his thumb grazed your lower chest. You gasped around his fingers, and his subtle raise of brow made your cheeks heat.

You squeezed his wrist, and it moved from your mouth to your waist. Hands reaching for the back of his neck, you tugged him forward into a sloppy kiss.

Bucky wasn't sure where the line was before. He understood that he had struck a purely sexual deal offer, so kissing for some might be too intimate an exchange under those circumstances, but Christ did he love the feel of your mouth on his. The clash of teeth and spit, your soft moans swallowed up into his own mouth sounding like heaven. Even more so when he sucked on your tongue, pride coursing through his veins when you squeaked.

And oh, you just couldn't help it, when you started rocking your hips back and forth. It was his fault really, teasing you so much.

"So fuckin' needy, angel, just can't wait, huh?" Bucky groaned, head falling back for a minute before jerking back up. "Need to get you taken care of, isn't that right?"

You nodded pathetically, brain long turned to mush. Your senses, every atom in your body was on fire and so, so sensitive, but your head was empty.

And Bucky knew it.

Which is why he lifted you up, strong hands supporting you under the thighs, which wrapped around his torso to keep you up. Bucky groaned, the feel of your legs around his waist sending blood rushing to his cock.

It was a messy trip to your room, to say the least. Bucky had to stop multiple times in the hallway to press you up against the wall and stick his tongue in your throat, rutting into you and breathing heavy into your mouth. His groans were pure sin and you wanted to pull as many of them from him as you could.

Bucky set you down gently, but as you laid, he remained, towering over you with hungry eyes and bated breath.

"Look at you," Bucky grazed his metal fingers over your cheek. "So fuckin' needy, hm? So desperate, you just hop on the first dick you see."

His words didn't even register, not when his leg was pressed right between your legs, so you nodded along dumbly.

He chuckled, almost a bark of a laugh. "Lucky I'm here to take care of you, hm?"

"Yeah," you sighed, your feeble grip on his shirt attempting to tug him closer. "Please, Bucky, need you to take care of me, please..."

"Alright, alright, I've gotcha." Bucky leaned in, pressing wet kisses to your neck whilst his fingers slipped under your shirt, grazing feather-light over your nipples. You could feel him smirk when you arched into his touch.

"Can we take this off, baby?" His voice was soft, and you nodded, pulling your hands up so he could bare your chest.

Bucky gave a groan at the sight, his mouth traveling downward to press licks and kisses over your chest. He pressed his palm over your ribs, indicating you to lie back. Bucky followed, propped up on his arm. His other hand walked up the inside of your thigh, making you shudder into him.

"Buck, please," you breathed, eyes rolling back.

"Nuh uh, none of that." Bucky's hand was quick to reach up and grasp your jaw, this time with more force. "Eyes on me."

He nodded your head for you. He maintained a more intense stare as he moved, slowly and deliberately, down between your thighs. He watched you as he kissed up and down your thighs, pressed his thumb into the junction between your cunt and your leg, pressed a firm kiss to the area just above your clit. Your hips jerked up, following his touch.

"I know, I know. Bein' so patient, so proud of you." Bucky purred, tugging your bottoms down in one go. "And would you look at that, no underwear. God, you're soaked."

Bucky actually moaned at the sight, like the idea of going down on you was pleasurable for him. And Lord, was it.

He started with, for lack of better word, toying with you, thumbs pulling your lips apart to watch your slick web from them. Even though he wasn't watching your face anymore, your eyes were glued to him. His fascinated expression, his strong arms holding your legs apart, his toned back rippling under every movement- somewhere along the line he had lost the shirt; you couldn't remember when but Christ was it better he did.

You nearly levitated off the bed when a finger came to collect your slick onto your clit, followed by lips attaching to the nerves and tonguing over it lasciviously.

Your hesitancy to make noise had gone out the window the minute his mouth was on you, jaw falling open to let out your sounds of bliss. The only thing keeping your head from falling back was the sight in front of you; Bucky was pure sex incarnate. His head swayed back and forth, groans and muffled praises vibrating against your skin, hair tickling your thighs.

"Taste so damn good angel, so fuckin' wet." Bucky tugged you impossibly closer- you swore you saw his hips moving into the sheets. "Should let your vibrator die more often."

Your breath had all but escaped you, coming out ragged and whiny. Your hands reached for his hair, tugging at the roots softly- harder when he groaned louder, sending both of you into a frenzy.

"Fuck, Bucky, right there, fuckfuckfuck-" your noises, if even possible, got louder when the man under you found just the right spot to prod his finger. It slipped in so easily, the wetness helping you welcome him in.

It didn't take Bucky long to figure out where that spot was inside of you, pulling moan after gasp after cry of his name once he bullied his fingers into it just right. He repeated the motion until there was a sheen of sweat on your forehead, grasping onto his hair, his arm, whatever of him you could find as if he was your lifeline.

"Oh, just like that, so close Buck..." You kicked your hips up into his face, rolling them for any kind of friction you could get- friction he was elated to give you.

You nearly sobbed when he pulled his face away from you, fingers leaving your pussy feeling unbearably empty.

"I know, honey, I know. Gonna give you something even better, hm? Gonna give you my cock, fill y'up real nice."

You almost drooled at the sight of Bucky sat up, nothing but sweats being hastily pulled down until the bulge fell heavily over the band. He kicked his bottoms away to some forgotten corner, stroking himself languidly a few times, kicking his head back.

You whined a bit at the lack of attention, thighs pressing together. That seemed to have alerted Bucky, as he tilted his head back down to face you. "Sorry, sunshine. Won't keep you waitin' any longer, yeah?"

Bucky lined himself up with you, teasing your sopping entrance with the tip. However, when your legs hooked around his waist, just like before, all notions of control were lost on him as he sheathed himself inside of you. A guttural groan, more sensual and more animalistic than before, ripped through him and sent sparks shooting into you. He stretched you deliciously, the friction electrifying.

"Don't fuckin' clench, holy shit- not gonna last long," Bucky huffed, rocking slowly into you. He was leaned over your body, almost folding you in half so that he could mutter filthy praises into your ear, tonguing at the shell of it lightly.

If he wasn't gonna last, what could be said of you? Your orgasm was approaching fast, if your throbbing cunt and frantic moans were any indication.

"There we go, y'gonna cum? Fuckin' cum for me, honey, make a mess on my cock, go on."

White-hot pleasure drowned you as you scratched faint pink lines down Bucky's chest. This time your eyes screwed shut, but Bucky chose instead to help you ride out your high, pistoning into you until he let himself go, filling you up in a way that left you feeling warm and full and very, very satisfied.

Only the sound of yours and Bucky's panting could be heard in the room, the air suddenly thick and musky with the smell of sex.

After a moment, he pulls out, murmuring 'shit' to himself a few times. "Gonna get you cleaned up, 'kay?" Bucky pressed a kiss to your temple, picking his boxers up on the way to his ensuite bathroom and coming back with a rag a minute later.

"Feeling alright?" Bucky asks. "Didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, you were great." You huffed, a stupid hazy grin tugging your lips. "Bit thirsty, that's about it."

"Noted," he mused. "I meant it, by the way."

You cocked your head. "Meant what?"

"You should let your vibrator die more often. I'm just two doors down, and I reckon I know a few more tricks than that piece of junk you've got." He gestures to the vibrator, which had fallen onto the floor at some point.

You definitely made sure to keep that in mind.

~

[babbymochiiii]

⊹₊ ⋆ᯓ★ street racer mark lee

❤︎ ໋𓈒 street racer!mark x afab!reader; you can ride me...or you can ride with me.

ʚ warnings: not proof read, ngl i'm pretty lazy with the smut here...so bare with me cause i was losing the creative juice for it 💀, some boob loving, oral/fingering (f), p in v, unprotected sex (pls...use a condom), mark is drunk on pussy 🤷🏽, creampie x2, possessive mark, dub con, backseat sex, johnny being an asshole of not respecting your space, screaming match between mark and reader, and lots of curse words being thrown around one another. won't lie the second smut scene might make some of my readers uncomfortable due to the content it has and how mark just handles the situation, so i will be putting a little warning sign between the dialogue so if you wish to skip it you can, i don't think you need to have full context of what happens as i feel like the dialogue that comes after explains itself. 

ʚ to hear that songs that lowkey had some inspiration to this fic, here is the link to the spotify playlist i made; click here for street racer! mark playlist!

ʚ author’s note: yes this is me adding more about street racer mark from my first ever post here…but with a bit more fun >:) enjoy! originally, i did want to get this out before mark’s b-day, but my bf was in town from school and we’ll all writing plans went out the window and i had to take advantage of my time with him 😩🫶🏼 other than that note, i have been writing here and there for this post as much as i could or really come up with on the spot cause my brain is in a little :P mood for a while now so… ✨motivation is fast and furious ✨

ʚ word count: 7.4k words

❤︎ ໋𓈒 if you haven't read the past parts to this series, here is the series m.list!

street racer!mark who loves the adrenaline rush he gets every time he races.

street racer! mark who is honestly pretty cold and straight forward with people but is a honestly a golden retriever with his tight circle. (He’s a Doberman basically)

street racer! mark from the first moment he saw you, he knew you were his.

street racer! mark who was ready to bash his opponents head into his steering wheel for even looking at you the way he did when you were set up as their flag girl (though he knew he couldn’t but that wouldn’t stop him)

street racer! mark who honestly catches johnny off guard when he acts all sweet and nice to you after you helped start the race he just finished (and won)

street racer! mark who realized he lowkey made a fool of himself when he asked you to be his sugar mama, but couldn’t help but feel his soul sore when he heard you laugh at his rambling

street racer! mark who knew the moment that you agreed to hanging out with him after his two races, you were meant to be his

street racer! mark who honestly cornered your friend into a corner and convinced her to give him your number after not seeing you for a month (he’s quite convincing without doing much)

street racer! mark who feels like a hormonal teenage boy feeling extremely nervous when texting you due to the fact that he wasn’t sure how your relationship with him stood

street racer! mark who the moments he sends the first text he throws his phone onto his bed before shoving his face between his hands because he knows that you have him whipped after one interaction

street racer! mark who jumps at the sound of his phone signaling that he had a new text message, and with a racing heart, grabs his phone and instantly felt his face heat up in ecstasy and a small laugh of embarrassment for not explaining that it was him in the first place when you asked who was texting you

street racer! mark who invites you out to the races tonight, shooting a blank bullet knowing it was hit or miss if you came out tonight or not; but to his delight you ended up saying yes causing him to jump up and let out a “HELL YEAH!” in the process while gaining a weird look from haechan as he walked passed his door

street racer! mark who watches your interaction with johnny from afar, his jaw set as he tries not to storm over. but the moment he sees johnny reach towards your hair and pull it out of the make-shift low bun you had something within him set ablaze and he started to make his way towards you.

“y/n! there you are!” he called out as he was close enough to be in your ear shot. “mark, hey!” you said as you turned and looked at him with a wide smile. “so I was thinking, do you possibly want to get in the car with me for my next race?” he asked you as he looked at you with a look that he knew you couldn’t refuse his offer. you have a look of hesitance. “i mean is that allowed? like dude, I’m not trying to break any rules that says I’m not supposed to do this so like—“ you rambled as you looked between mark and johnny for reassurance (it bothered him you looked at johnny with that look on your face and not just him…) “nah bro, you good. besides it’s sort of really freaking rare if someone sat in the passenger seat with the driver unless that person is on their team.” he made sure to reassure you as he placed his arm around your shoulders and bringing you to his side. you looked up at mark and gave him a wide smile of excitement, that to him, makes your eyes sparkle with said emotion. “then, yeah I’ll go ride with you.”

street racer! mark who can’t stop laughing at the way you scream his name out as he speeds down the roads. several squeals leave your lips as you also laughed out as he could tell was your adrenaline causing you to react in that way.

street racer! mark who can’t help but feel the pride swell in his chest as you cheer him on for winning the race.

street racer! mark who can’t help but hold in his laugh knowing that he caught you off guard with his slight flirt comment.

“all thanks to you.” “dude, you’re flirting.” you said as mark watched your jaw drop slightly in shock. with the small silence that falls between the two of you, makes you both laugh out over the moment.

street racer! mark who doesn’t think twice about leaning in (nor did he care) as he watched you lean in as well with hooded eyes.

street racer!mark who was ready to end johnny’s life as he knew he purposely slammed the car’s hood and squeezed in between the two of you for conversation.

street racer! mark who was trying his best to keep his cool in front of you as he continued the conversation.

“you should’ve heard how she was screaming at the top of her lungs.” mark said as he laughs about your reaction. “yeah i bet she was pretty loud.” johnny said with a cocky smirk while looking down at you.

street racer! mark who was picturing 1,000 ways of his killing his so called friend after the comment he made, but of course that didn’t stop for either of their slip up in front of you as they glared at one another with a knowing look.

street racer! mark who despite the fact he said goodbye to you with glee, he turned around back towards johnny, who he too was turning towards mark, losing the smile on his face as an intense silence falls before them.

"what are you getting at Suh?" mark said getting straight to the point. "don't know what you mean, Lee." johnny said with a smirk as the situation wasn't obvious. "you know i'm going after her." mark said as he felt his anger starting to take over him. johnny scoffs. "it's not like you laid a claim on her just yet mark. she's free game."

street racer! mark who knew with the way johnny smiled at him meant nothing good, and knew that if he wanted you to be his and only his, he had to find ways (and he always found a way)

street racer! mark who coincidentally bumped into you on college campus and somehow convinced you to hang out with him outside of the car meet (anything to get the upper hand)

street racer! mark who couldn't stop staring at you when he took you to a diner that is a couple miles out of town; you were scared of course, but mark reassured you that everything was going to be okay with him beside you (and dude has a gun with him so really yall are fine-)

street racer! mark who somehow convinced you to go with him to a tattoo/piercing shop with him.

"you're getting your eyebrow pierced?" you asked with an intrigued tone lacing around your question. "yeah, i mean, why not? been wanting to get one honestly." mark said as he gave you a quick glance as he continued to drive down the road towards the shop. "i think you'll look good with it." you said softly as you felt yourself blush at the thought of mark having an eyebrow piercing. suddenly, the thought was more than just innocent thought. mark is a very good looking man, you couldn't deny it as you felt yourself attracted, but for some reason the thought of mark having an eyebrow piercing....it makes you squeeze your thighs together. you tried to be discreet about it, as said man you're fantasizing about it right next to you.

street racer! mark who doesn't miss the way you clench your thighs together as you continue savoring the thought of mark having an eyebrow piercing. his free hand runs along the bottom of his bottom lip as a smirk stretches on his face at the thought of you getting turned on. the hand on steering wheel tightens slightly at the thought of you in such a way for him to the point that his knuckles turn white, before he let's go of his grip to calm himself down as you both have arrived to the shop.

"ready?" you asked mark as you both walked towards the front door of said shop. "ready than never, baby." mark said lowly in such a sultry tone, that it visible made chills run down your spine and for a slight blush dust on your face and neck, as you tried to look away from him, but he could read your body language by now and it only made him chuckle to himself.

street racer! mark who sits down on the chair the body piercer has in their room as they prep everything for the procedure.

when mark look's toward you he swears you're more nervous for him that he is for himself. "you okay, baby?" he asked as he couldn't help but smirk at you, but still took hold of your hand in his in a gentle hold. "y-yeah, just...you know. it's a big needle." you mumbled as you look down to where his thumb was rubbing gentle circles on your knuckles to distract you from your own nerves. "i'll be okay, don't worry too much for me baby." mark said as he gave you a small squeeze of reassurance.

street racer! mark who couldn’t help but feel his ego swell due to the fact that you couldn’t stop looking at him with his new piercing.

“you okay baby?” mark asked as he gave you a quick glance in the car before looking back towards the road. “huh? oh— uh yeah, i’m fine!” you squeaked out embarrassed as you looked at your hands resting at your lap. your nails are looking really interesting right now. mark smirked at your reaction before he continued to drive to your dorm complex.

street racer! mark who makes sure that everyone knows that you are his. does not give a flying fuck honestly at how people react when you’re with him, he knows has to stop it and doesn’t care how he’s gotta get them to shut up. but of course, there is johnny…who doesn’t know what isn’t yours, you shouldn’t touch.

street racer! mark who is fed up with johnny’s bs of blatantly flirting with you in front of him. to which he takes measures into his own hand and asks you out on an official date with him tomorrow night.

“on—on a date?” you asked him as he saw the way your face and neck started to flush in a delicate red shade. “yes, thought i’d make it official.” mark said as he leaned in slightly and tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. “i— yeah i would love to.” you mumbled softly to him as he let his hand linger softly on your cheek, causing you to flush deeper. “great i’ll pick you up, baby.” mark said as he placed a quick, tender kiss on your forehead. when mark stood straight, he looked behind you and saw the way johnny was sending him glares towards him, that mark couldn’t help but smirk at him before he took your hand and brought you to his car.

street racer! mark who goes all out for your first date with him. he was honestly a nervous wreck, but was pulling though seeing how brightly you were smiling at him, and just how your eyes caught the light just right...it made his heart go into overdrive at the sight before him.

street racer! mark who is such a gentleman throughout the whole date that you honestly can't help but make the first move on him when he dropped you off at your dorm room's door.

"i had a good night tonight." you said softly as you looked up towards mark with a small smile on your face and with a knowing blush resting on your face. "i'm glad you enjoyed it baby. anything for you." mark said as he looked down at you with a boyish smile playing on his face. something about the way mark looked in front of you had you in a daze. his black hair in a messy slicked back hairstyle with some strands of hair falling in his face. the classic leather black jacket he wore, this time with a white shirt underneath the jacket, black belt wrapped around blue jeans, as he wore black boots with his whole outfit. your mouth was honestly watering at the sight in front of you. "do you want to go on a da—" mark started but was cut off with the feeling of you taking hold of his shirt in your hand and pulling him down to your level. "—date?" "shut up and kiss me mark." you commanded softly as you eyed the way he licked his lips. without saying a word, mark leaned in and delivered one hell of a bruising kiss. nothing about the kiss was delicate like he was treating you all night. the kiss was straight passion that was breaking through the restraints that held around mark as all he's been wanting to do was devour you whole. there was some teeth clash, but neither of you cared as all you both wanted was to get closer to the other as you tried to fight for dominance in the kiss. you instantly gave up in trying to win for dominance when mark's tongue grazed along yours, causing you to whimper in the kiss as you felt yourself melting at the taste and feeling of him.

street racer! mark who was trying to be a complete and utter gentleman when it came to wanting to take things further with you, but didn't want to push things further if you weren't willing to push at the boundaries as well.

"baby." mark mumbled in the kiss before pulling himself apart, as much to both of yours protest. "i don't want to do anything you don't want to do." mark said as he felt your hands wrap themselves around his neck and find the length of his hair and pull at it, causing for a groan to escape his lips. mark felt himself twitch in his jeans as tugged again at his roots, causing him to bite his bottom lip and look down at you. "mark please...i need you" you muttered your plea as you looked up at him with such doe eyes and a small pout that mark knew that he was completely at your mercy.

street racer! mark who the moment you opened your door and walked inside, he had you pinned against the closed door.

"are you sure you want to do this?" mark said as he looked down at you where you were caged between his arms. "yes." you breathlessly moaned out as you arched your back where your chest grazed his, just to show him how willing you are. "fuck..." mark mumbled before he placed his had at the back of your neck and pulled you into another throb-inducing-kiss. clothes started to come off between the two of you as you walked towards your bed, where mark wanted everything to be comfortable, mostly for you. you were only left in your underwear as you laid so pretty under the dim lighting of your bedroom. mark swore under his breath as he watched the way your chest rises and falls in quick breathes. his eyes travel over the expense of your exposed skin. it didn't take long for mark to find himself between your thighs. he captured your lips into a gentle kiss, completely different from before. inviting as the kiss was, it quickly turned harsh and hot when you bit mark's bottom lip. mark led his kisses down your neck in open mouth kisses, leaving blossoming bruises on the juncture that was between your neck and shoulder. as mark's lips traveled down your sternum, you started to release more breathy moans as the ticklish sensations over your flushed skin. mark took hold of your plumped breasts into each of his hand and gave them a slight squeeze, earning a delicious moan from you. encouraged, he takes one of your hard nipples into his mouth and suck on them lightly while tracing the tip of his tongue over it. you started to mumble curses as mark began to stimulate your neglected nipple between his pointer finger and thumb. he pulled on the nipple as he simultaneously bit down softly and tug on the nipple in his mouth causing for you to arch your back off of your bed and moan out loudly. with a lewd pop, mark started to kiss down your navel leaving slight nips in his path. once he reached down your clothed cunt, he started to place small, quick pecks where your clit lays. seeing the way you reacted. without wanting to wait to devour you any longer, mark rips your underwear in half with a rasped promise; "i'll buy you a new one baby, don't worry." was the last you heard before a moan rips through you as he placed a hard press of his tongue between your wet folds. mark starts to eat you out in a rhythm-ed pace that his tongue and fingers followed as they went inside of you, curling the front of the digits against your gummy walls. as mark continued, he felt you clench around his fingers and tongue. with one last push and curl, he had you arching your back off of your bed with a loud moan as you came. mark helped you ride out your orgasm with slow thrusts of his fingers. as you came calmed down from the intensity of the orgasm, you failed to notice mark pulling down his pants freeing his hard, aching length from it's death trap. mark gave himself a few pumps before he leaned above you. he lined himself up to your gaping entrance, but wanted to distract you due to the fact he feels like he didn't stretch you out enough with his fingers.

mark placed his lips on yours in a searing kiss, that made you fully pull your focus into the kiss. as he continued to kiss you, mark pushed himself into your first ring of resistance. you whimpered at the sensation of the stretch, while mark moaned at how tight you felt around him. mark slowly pumped himself in and out, slowly, resting the waters a bit to see how you would react to his movements. as mark started to pick up his pace, you both completely lose yourselves to the sensation you were feeling. mark was completely weak in the knees as he felt the way your gummy walls milked him with each stroke. not realizing how lost he was in the feeling, mark speed up to such a delicious pace it had you rolling your eyes back and curling your toes. you could hear mark mumbling incoherent sentences, but you were able to catch some of the words that slipped out of his mouth; “so fucking tight.”; “she’s sucking me in so good— fuck.” ; “that’s it baby, take me just like that…”;“listen to her, she’s fucking talking to me.” with each sentence that you could catch beyond your moans and his grunts, caused you to clench around him uncontrollably, that only causes mark to keep losing the little resolve he had left. "baby, if you keep clenching me like that...i'm not going to last long." mark said as he felt himself just continuing his brutal pace that had him grazing against your cervix in such a delicious way, that you swore you would give this man whatever he wanted if it meant that he could keep making you feel the way you do right now. "mark, please...please i'm so close! i—" you choked out a moan as he started to go in such a much faster pace than he was before (that was surprising you in all honestly) that your legs were practically on his shoulders at this point for the way he kept leaning against you to kiss between the valley of your breasts, along the juncture of your neck and jaw. you could feel the long, burning tell-tale of your orgasm fast approaching, especially if mark kept up with the fast pace that his hips where sending against yours. making your entire body jump up against his thrusts. "fuck, baby you're so beautiful taking me the way you are and how you're looking at me." mark grunted out as he whipped a strand of hair that was clinging to your sweaty forehead. "so beautiful — shit — and all mine." mark said, and in that moment it was as if something officially snapped within his mind because if he was going fast now, he was going in faster (that you swore wasn't humanly possible but he was proving you wrong.) "say it." he said as his hand went down your navel, and pressed his thumb down hard onto your throbbing clit, causing you to arch your back at the sensation mixing in with his ruthless thrusts. "say it for me baby, please i need to hear it." mark moaned out, that sounded like an a whimper by the end. you knew then and there that he was close to his orgasm as much as you are as he wanted that one finally push and his hips started to stutter. "m-mark, i'm all yours!" you squealed out as mark started to rub his fingers in a messy side-to-side matter against your clit that without warning you came loud and hard. mark swore he was in heaven the moment he felt you clench his cock in such a vice grip that it was almost impossible to continue thrusting himself into you. but along with you, mark groaned as he let out his load inside of you (not really thinking of the consequences it could bring of course.) mark rode out his orgasm, while helping you through yours.

street racer! mark who watches you with such tender expression that it hurts his heart knowing how quickly you came into his world and took him off of the course he was on. (he's in love with you)

street racer! mark who slowly removes himself from inside of you with a groan, before quietly leaving your side to go to your bathroom to grab a soft towel to clean you up with.

you felt something gently graze over your sensitive entrance that caused you to let out a small whimper at the sensation. "hey...sorry i don't mean to hurt you baby. just trying to clean you up so we can go shower and sleep for the night." mark said gently as he lifted himself up and started to place sweet, gentle kisses on your face as he watched you slowly lift up your hooded eyelids that were heavy with sleep. "okay..." you said softly as you gave mark a small smile. you and mark looked at one another with such tenderness that you honestly felt like you were gonna go into some sort of cardiac arrest at the way your heart was beating out of it's normal pace. "hi." you said shyly as you didn't know what to say to him. mark chuckled as he saw the shy blush carry itself across your face and chest. "hi, baby." he said softly as he placed a kiss onto your forehead. "come on, lemme help you into the shower." he said as he placed his arms around your neck and the back of your knees.

street racer! mark who was absolutely incredible at aftercare that honestly made you want to cry due to the fact he paid such attention on your needs, that you just felt so loved.

street racer! mark who after your shower, gives you a shirt he found in your closet and brings you to bed. makes sure you drink your water, and that you get all the cuddles in as you both get some much needed sleep.

street racer! mark who hasn't seen you in a while due to you become busy with schoolwork as it became one of the busiest week of the school year.

street racer! mark who is excited when he steps out of his car in front of your school campus as he goes to the other side of his car to lean against it, to surprise you with a pick up ride from him, when the smile he had on his face falls as he sees you walking out with some guy at your side.

street racer! mark who can see the way you're smiling at him and tilted your head back in laughter, by the way your shoulders shook up and down, from what he said. whatever he could've said, couldn't be that funny.

street racer! mark who watches the way your eyes lit up at the exact moment that you looked forward again, that he couldn't help but feel reassured in himself when you left with a quick goodbye to the guy behind you and made a full sprint towards mark.

"mark!" you squealed out in happiness as you opened your arms open as you jumped into mark's waiting arms for you. mark spun the two of you around quickly as he held you in a tight hug that he wasn't quite ready to let go of you. "hey baby." he greeted you before he placed a kiss onto your lips. "what are you doing here?" you said as you looked up at him with such an infectious smile that he couldn't help the way his smile grew wider. "wanted to surprise you baby." he said as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. "ooh! a surprise, are we going somewhere?" you asked as you bit your bottom lip in excitement. "you could say something like that." mark teased you as he opened your door for you.

street racer! mark who lowkey disassociates as he drives on your way to your shared dorm room. he couldn't help but think about what he saw when he picked you up. something possessive paced within his chest, that honestly was slightly unsettling to him but he couldn't help but let the feeling grow and manifest inside of him.

street racer! mark who takes a detour from the original route that he usually takes to your place. he tried not to pay attention to the look you gave him from his peripheral vision.

⚠️CAN SKIP SCENE IF YOU WISH⚠️

"mark? why are we going this way?" you questioned quietly as you looked around the trees that were starting to surround you and the car. you were met with silence as you looked at the far out expression on his face. the silence felt so loud for you as you waited for mark to react to your question. as you opened your mouth to say something, mark suddenly breaks his car in the middle of the off-the-beaten road. silence once again takes over the two of you, creating a suffocating atmosphere in the car. you were about to speak up, but mark beat you to it. "surprise." he said in a mono toned voice. you felt a shiver run up your spine at the way he spoke to you. you've never heard him use this tone to you nor around you. it felt like a completely different person beside you. "surprise?" you questioned, afraid to add more to your question not knowing how his response is. "this is the surprise i have for you baby." mark said in a tone that was too overly sweet and it was starting to make you feel uneasy. "mark..." "who was that guy baby?" mark asked you as he tilted his head to the side, trying to seem innocent and curious. you studied mark's expression as much as you can as you tried to find some slip up on his end. seeing that he was being consistent with the front he is having, you sighed. "he's in a class of mine." mark hummed out as he looked past your shoulder with a small nod. "a guy from your class..." he mumbled out, still having that far out look on his face. when mark looked back at you, the look in his eyes almost made you flinch if he didn't reach over to you grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you forward. "why were you all smiles with him? don't you know you're mine? i don't get it." mark said as he looked down briefly before looking back at you. "why were you smiling at him?" he asked as he pouted at you. you honestly felt like you were gonna get whiplash. "i was being polite?" you questioned yourself at this point cause you didn't know how to approach it. mark just stared at you as the grip on the back of your neck tightened slightly as he adjusted his fingers. he reaches over with his free hand and grabs hold of you face, squishing your cheeks together to create an embarrassing pout on your lips. "get in the back seat." mark said with a side gesture of his head. you looked towards the small section of mark's car that he called his backseat. you didn't know what to make head or tail of. one part of you wanted to go cry about this cause you weren't sure where to put your emotions in, but the other part of you...she couldn't help but feel turned on by the situation you were in with mark. the way he let his possessive side show in such a raw way, made something primal rise within you. seeing that you weren't moving fast enough for him, mark repeated his command. "get in the back seat, baby." with a small gulp of uncertainty and of anticipation, you started to head towards the backseat. once situated in the backseat, you couldn't help but feel the tension rise as you saw the way mark was looking at you. a predator looking at it's prey. mark looked at you with such a predatory look in his eyes, pupils completely darken over with lust, it made you shudder and clamp your thighs together. he soon hoped over to the back seat with you and without missing a beat, he took hold of your ankle and yanked you down the seat to where he was above of you. a gasp leaves your lips as you looked up towards mark with wide eyes. without saying anything to you, mark takes holds of your hips and turns you around; ass up and face down. “mark can we please talk properly!?” you cried out as you tried to push his hands away from your hips as they tried to hook around the waist band of your skirt. "shh s'okay baby, i'm going to make you forget completely about your classmate." "mark! please..." you moaned out as you started to feel him play with your sensitive nub. "we're talking baby." mark said as he preoccupied himself with taking his half harden length out of the confines of his jeans.

“this isn’t how it’s supposed to be mark!” you cried out as you felt him push your panties to the side and start to rub himself against your slightly glistening folds. "i'd say this talk to going the way it's supposed to baby." was all he said as he continued to rub himself against your folds to the point where it was fully hard and dying to get inside of you. "besides you want me just as much as i want you. can't you feel how wet you are for me baby?" mark questions as he starts to tease your entrance with his swollen tip. you were completely torn. you didn't know what to do considering mark was not going to have an actual conversation regarding the situation the two of you are in. he just wanted to fuck this whole argument out of your system to get it over with and it just isn't supposed to be like that...you know this. but why was he making you feel so good about it. mentally you knew this whole ordeal was wrong but...physically you wanted him. you wanted to cry as you felt such intense and confused emotions, you just didn't know what to place what to what anymore. you truly couldn't find your voice in this situation, and it frustrated you to no end that you felt tears starting to sting your eyes. "please mark..." you whimpered out as you felt yourself starting to dissociate. "fuck baby, anything for you." mark said as he started to insert his length inside of you. as mark fully inserted himself inside of you he let out a pleasured moan, while you let out a whimpered cry. nothing that was happening to you felt real. absolutely nothing. mark continued pleasuring himself and you were completely disconnected. you weren't even sure if you actually came or you just faked it so it could be all over with. all you knew is that mark came inside of you, pulled out and covered you once again with your panties. letting his come ooze out of you and fall onto your panties, creating an uncomfortable feeling. "you're so good for me baby." mark whispered into your ear as he pushed your hair behind your ear and placed a chaste kiss on your temple. tears fell from your eyes as utter disgust consumed your entire being.

street racer! mark who has been noticing things have been rocky between the two of you since he picked you up from your class two weeks ago. but still has high hopes for the two of you as he sees that you are still reaching out to him in the best way you can.

street racer! mark who brings you to the car meets after the two weeks of rocky tension, to which he is completely happy and his "normal self" around you while he goes and does his races. and completely misses the way johnny watches your every move so he can have a chance to talk to you.

you were standing off to the side of the crowd in your own world as you waited for mark to finish his set races today. you were in your own world for so long, that you didn't notice that johnny has approached you until he waves his hand in your face. "oh..." you said softly as you blinked your eyes before looking up at johnny with a awkward smile. "hi, johnny." "hey sweetheart, you alright? i'm seeing you all alone and wanted to see how you're doing?" johnny says as he looked at you with a concerned look on his face. "oh i'm fine. just a bit tired from school and all." you said softly trying to shrug johnny off of you. "and mark's got you out here late? he should've just let you rest at your apartment." johnny said as he frowned his eyebrows. "yeah he wanted me to stay home and get some rest but i wanted to come out and support him since i know he has quite of few races set out for him tonight." you lied through your teeth as you gave johnny a smile. "you know..." johnny trials off as he rubs his hand on his chin before his gaze turned up on you. "...if you were my girl this wouldn't be happening to you." "excuse me?" you questioned as you felt a scoff leaves your lips as you looked at him in disbelief of what he just said to you. "i could be a better boyfriend than mark can be to you sweetheart." he said a he went to go and graze his hand on your face. you gently swatted johnny's hand away from your face before it made contact. "mark's not my boyfriend johnny." "oh really? he never made it official. this whole time i thought he has for the way he acts around you." johnny says as he rolls his eyes at the mere thought that mark has been with you for two months and hasn't grown the balls to make it official with you yet. "well...i'm not rushing him for making it official, johnny." you said as you took a step so you could create a space between yourself and johnny. "why are you even waiting when he's clearly comfortable in the position you guys are in." johnny says as he takes a step towards you, closing the space between the two of you. you rolled your eyes at him as you took a step backwards still trying to keep a good distant between him. not liking the fact that you keep distancing yourself from him, johnny takes hold of your wrist. "i could be a better boyfriend than him, angel." he whispers into your ear. "let me go!"

street racer! mark who finishes the first half of his races and looks for you the moment he parked his car. as he looked for you amongst the crowd, finally landed his eyes onto your figure. but what he saw was making him see red.

street racer! mark who sees the way you and johnny are both cozy against the other, as johnny holds you close to his form. even though he fails to see the obvious discomfort on your face, mark comes up with 1 to 1 million ways that this is you moving on from him and he just couldn't have it that way what's so ever.

street racer! mark who races towards the two of you. pushes johnny off of you and taking hold of your wrist in his hand and dragging you behind him to his car. damn the rest of the races he had planned out for the rest of the night...he wanted to deal with you.

"mark! slow down!" you cried out behind him as you stumbled on your steps as he was moving too fast for you to catch up to him. you were met with silence from him as he continued to drag you behind him. the only response you got from him was the hold on your wrist tightening to the point where it started to pinch your skin in between his fingers. the sensation causes you to wince. mark slightly faltered at the sound of your pained grunt, but continued pushing through the crowd towards his car. one you both made it to his car, mark opened the passenger's door and pushed you inside before he slammed the door shut. this causes you to flinch at the sound and the sudden jerked motion the car had due to the force of the car door slamming shut in your face. you honestly didn't know what was going to happen to you right now. you've never seen mark this mad before. yes...there was the instance with your classmate but this...this was a different mark. this wasn't the mark that you got to know. mark got into his side of the car with slam of his car door as well. without saying anything to you, he starts the car and has the car moving faster before you could get something into the tense air between the two of you. "mark—" "why do you do this!?" mark yells out as he starts to speed down the dirt road that leads out of the car meet. "do what mark!? what did i do?" you cried out as you felt tears sting the corner of your eyes as you felt yourself get frustrated as you knew where this was going to go now. "why the fuck were you so close to johnny? of all fucking people, him! you know how he makes me feel!" mark yells out as he slams one hand on the steering wheel. "mark...johnny was trying his usual shit on me yes! i was trying to get out of the situation but he wasn't letting me!" you said as tears started to fall down your face. "i don't fucking believe you." mark said with a scoff and a roll of his eyes. you felt your heart sink at the declaration he made about you. "are—" you cut yourself off as you felt a laugh bubble in your throat, letting yourself know that you are starting to fall into some sort of shock. "—are you fucking serious right now mark lee? do you FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF!?" you screamed out as more tears started to fall down your face in pure blistering anger. "i wouldn't be surprised if you've thrown yourself at him. i've seen the way you look at that motherfucker." mark says as he presses down on the gas peddle causing the car to jerk faster down the road. you looked towards the car's speedometer and was met with '100 mph' in bold, bright lettering. "mark slow down." you said as you stared at the speedometer and towards the outside of your window to see the dark sky and trees in a complete blur of speed. "mark slow down!" you cried out again. "just SHUT UP!" mark screamed out as he looked towards you with such intense anger in his eyes that you swore this man hates you from the way he is just treating you. you opened your mouth to say something but the next thing that you remember hearing was the sound of shattering glass and a gasp leave your lips, before your world goes completely black.

street racer! mark who groggily wakes up to intense bright lighting in his eyes, and he thinks that he simply left the lights on of his room again, until he starts to hear the slow beeping sounds around him.

street racer! mark who fully opens his eyes and takes in his surrounding to see that he is laying in a hospital bed, and his right arm is in a cast and a sling. he starts to wonder what happened, but all he can remember was the argument in the car with you and then everything went blank from there.

street racer! mark who gasps finally realizing that you were in the accident too and started to feel himself panic seeing that you weren't near him nor in the same room as him.

"you're finally awake." mark heard a voice say at the foot of his bed. mark looked towards the standing figure of his bed and recognized your best friend. he noticed the blood shot and puffy eyes she adored and couldn't help but assume the worst. "is she...is she—" "she's fine and thankfully very much alive, no thanks to you." she snaps as she gave him a look of pure disgust. mark rolls his eyes at her tone, but continues the conversation as if she never even spoke. "i want to go see her." he said as he tried to sit up but winces due to the sharp pain at his side. "you have bruised ribs, so i would lay down if i were you." she muttered as she sent daggers towards mark. "besides, i'm not letting you seeing her." she said as she crossed her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow towards him as if daring him to challenge her. "the fuck? i can see her if i want. you don't get a say in that!" mark said as he started to feel his anger get the best of him. "you are the reason she is in a hospital bed right now! you are the reason she has a fucking coma!" your best friend yelled out as she pointed an accusing finger towards him as she tried to hold back the tears that are stinging her eyes due to the pure anger she was feeling. "a c-coma?" mark said as he looked at her with wide eyes. "yeah, a coma. the doctors don't know when she will wake up...the chances are low."

street racer! mark who felt his entire self being shatter at the thought of you not remembering anything that has happened.

"a coma..." mark muttered to himself as he felt himself start to zone out due to the shock the news brought him.

ʚ a/n: to be completely honest with you, i wasn't really expecting to take it this way but i honestly like how it turned out because it adds a bit of drama to this fic and truly shows the persona i created for mark in this au. just wanted yall to go through what the reader goes through in seeing his true persona! lemme know your thoughts!!  

⭑𓂃taglist: @hyuckshinee @yesohhsehun @sfsrm-blog @rockstarhaechan

[ashtxrie]

submitted 11:59 pm

— alternatively, enhypen maknaes as your typical high school crush!

PAIR. high school! enhypen maknaes x gn!reader (rest under cut) GENRE. fluff, high school au, bullet points WORD COUNT. 1.8k total HYUNG LINE VER.

김선우 — kim sunoo

candy hearts, spotify playlists, good morning texts, easy laughter, crescent smiles

in high school, sunoo's known as being super friendly and sociable

and because of that, he has a ton of friends

like he basically knows everyone

you and sunoo have definitely talked before, and you may have had a teensy tiny crush on him from your... downward of five interactions

he's kind of like your hallway crush!

however, you DON'T know that he has had a crush on you for FOREVER

like a MASSIVE one! SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL

and his friends are SICK AND TIRED of hearing about it

man's dedicated because he really saw you in every single one of your phases and STILL decides to like you. he's a real one

he's so whipped like he's hitting up the group chat (named "en- gang" by riki btw) at 1 in the morning being like

"GUESS WHAT?!!! she smiled at me today ☺️ i forgot to tell you all"

everyone is so done

"did you talk to her though"

"NO. i'm getting there"

"all you did was make eye contact for the past month be srs rn"

so one day jay and jungwon (your mutual friends), who were in the same english class as you both, were feeling DEVIOUS

it was the fall semester final project, and it was supposed to be worked on in teams of 2 to 3

"bro you are NOT working on it with us the love of your life is literally RIGHT there"

jay and jungwon took matters into their own hands and forcefully excluded sunoo ("you guys are so fake")

so now, with no other option, he had to approach you!

"do you have a group already? if not, we could work together?"

wait wtf he didn't say that

hey....

it was YOU???

you approached him first??? he was SHOCKED

tried to play it cool but his smile gave away how happy he was

"yes!!!! let's work together!!!!! :)"

the project actually went so well he has literally never been happier typing away on that document every night

updates the group chat periodically too

"when we were working on the google doc at 2 am in the morning our cursors went over each other’s & it was like we were holding hands :>>"

"how do i unsubscribe"

"you're just mad because you've never been in love <333"

secretly sunoo's thanking his friends though because now you guys are basically close friends!

while doing the project together you started talking about school, friends, life, and everything in between

talking with you just seemed so natural, and sunoo wonders why he was so afraid of it before

i'd like to think that with you, sunoo doesn't feel the need to always put on the bubbly and outgoing side of him

sometimes, he can just be quiet and calm sunoo with you, and the silence feels so comfortable and safe

you start hanging out more and more, and soon you've met so many people through sunoo that they think of you whenever they think of him too

it's like a package deal!

throughout this time he's still madly in love with you btw

he just wants to take things slow! he didn't want to scare you away or anything

and yes, the gc is STILL getting their daily sunooyn Down Bad News Network

"today during lunch she gave me a yakult bottle, i think she’s starting to like me back! :D"

he does Not know you've liked him all this time

the mutual pining is crazy

he (finally) confesses after a whole YEAR

he's super nervous about it, has possible plan b's scripted and sat through 30 minutes of youtube subliminal audios the day before for extra good luck

after he says his whole heartfelt confession, he gives you this handwritten letter with all of his favorite moments with you in the past year, complete with spotify codes next to each one that links to a specific song he thought of at the time

you teared up a bit because oh my gosh it was so cute he was so cute and your heart just melted

you told him you've liked him since forever too and he was FLABBERGASTED

you both also reveal that you've BOTH had hidden spotify playlists dedicated for each other???

let's just say that even years later, the 'en- gang' group chat would NEVER let sunoo live down his digital footprint

양정원 — yang jungwon

strawberries, honors classes, coming of age, familiarity, inside jokes, paper rings

your childhood best friend

who just so happens to also be mr student council president, king of extracurriculars, resident academic powerhouse

and also a LITTLE SHIT about it

since elementary school, you've got some friendly (and not-so-friendly) rivalry going on

"we both know who’s going to get the higher score for this chem final” 

“yeah, and it’s going to be me”

“NAH” 

but the drive you get from the competition is really what brought you guys together

it's what keeps you motivated, it's what keeps you going

and he's funny! (though you'd never admit it)

because yes, you're both trying to beat each other for the top spot in class rank

but you also get each other

you've been study buddies since the beginning of time, and he keeps the two of you accountable

sometimes he's TOO responsible

"jungwon don't let the pomodoro timer dictate you life can we PLEASE take a snack break right nowww"

"we literally did that FIVE MINUTES AGO"

outside of studying he's really chill though

one summer he started to get really into alchemy of souls and you binged the series twice together, effectively destroying both of your sleep schedules right before school started

he just loves existing in the same space as you tbh

definitely loves calling you for hours during the school year, whether to review for an upcoming exam or to just have the two of you do your own things while connected on the phone

it's pretty common for the two of you to fall asleep while on call with one another

late night yapping sessions (hello??? his weverse addiction??)

he feels like he can just let his responsibilities go and you're the only person who really understands him and everything he does and why he does it

lowkey.... he also just wants to make you proud :(

he was so happy that one time you offhandedly mentioned how you've seen and appreciated all the hard work he was putting in for one of the school events

when he eventually confessed to you, everything just made sense

like the way your eyes always lingered on his bright smile when he showed up on your doorstep at the crack of dawn

and how even when you tease each other, you never miss how he would reach for your hand with his own before retracting it hurriedly as if changing his mind

now, oh he just makes you feel so loved

texts you at random times of the day just because, sending you the most random images and captioning them with "us"

he's still got the silliness in him though!

"i want to try every strawberry with chocolate combination with you <333"

西村力 — nishimura riki

neon lights, school dances, sunglasses, finger guns, playful banter, shared hoodies

honestly he's just at school for the vibes

however, he DID take homecoming very seriously

with one goal in mind: to DOMINATE the dance floor

and dominate he did.

he partied in the USA so hard that by the end of the night, everyone was talking about that freshman who left everyone speechless at a HIGH SCHOOL DANCE

among those witnesses of how riki out-danced the entire school population, were you

and you thought he was literally the coolest person ever

fast forward two years, and you're a junior now

it's all good! you've definitely outgrown your month-long admiration of the Guy From Hoco

but yo what guess who sits right next to your seat in class???

it's the Guy From Hoco himself

honestly, you're a pretty chill person so you turned to him and were like "hey aren't you that guy that got famous back during hoco freshman year?"

but now? he’s EMBARRASSED to admit it

"oh uhhh that wasn't me haha"

boy bffr you would know his face anywhere

you kind of gave him a questioning look and shrugged

"oh well, i thought it was really cool though"

he instantly backtracks, because you thought it was cool and NOT an aura loss????

"wait i think i remember now haha that WAS me!!!"

you guys match energy so well tbh

he started to catch feelings for you because of how funny you were and how you two just clicked, but he was stuck in denial FOREVER

"I DON'T CHASE I ATTRACT" (desperate)

heeseung also tried to give him "rizz counseling" but that just ended up with them both saying "mb gang" at everything

which was..... not very rizzy!

you had convinced him to audition for the competition dance team at your school, which he obviously made

he texted you the day he got in too, typing in all caps in everything which he NEVER does

"why would you scream about things in caps lock when you can be cool and nonchalant" YEAH SURE RIKI

updated all his social media bios to @[school]varsitydanceteam the moment he got the acceptance notif

“[name] is my instagram bio tuff”

“WHY ARE U ALR PUTTING IT IN YOUR BIO"

"because i’m committed and it lets them know i’m part of a professional community"

(heeseung told him that it would show his commitment to the sport and thus his potential to commit to you.)

at this point, riki was ready to fire heeseung and switch to jake as his ghostwriter 💀

but little did he know, you started liking him too once you saw how genuinely hardworking he was when he has a goal

like those hours he spent on call with you asking if you thought this one move was clean enough?? he really put in his all (he also wanted to impress you)

you kind of had the idea that he liked you back, because let's be honest he was being a bit obvious about it

the way he almost choked when you hugged him congratulations??? he looked DAZED for a whole hour

you had to confess to riki because his heejake rizz courses consisted mainly of heeseung and jake arguing about whose approach was better

even when you two became a couple, you still had teasing as a love language LMAO

"HAHA 🫵🫵 YOU'RE SO SHORT i still love you though <3"

it's just how he shows his love, but he also loves draping his arm across your shoulders when walking around

made sure to emphasize to heeseung and jake that this was all his doing and they did not help him at ALL

but let's be real, YOU were the rizziest of them all

and riki agrees <3

TAGLIST : @star-sim @boyfiejay @jlheon @jwsdoll @dimplewonie @suneng @en-gelic @mygnolia @asteria-wood

[toxicanonymity]

Midnight Snack.

3.4k slasher!Joel x f!reader

slasher Joel masterlist | spotify SUMMARY: Joel has dinner with his Mom, then visits you. A/N: Shoutout to @iamasaddie for the master list mood board magnets, @gasolinerainbowpuddles for the edit and divider, fridge magnet anon ask, @thesummerpetrichor , anyone I'm forgetting?  WARNINGS: I8+ dubcon unsafe p in v, creampie, light somnophilia, choking, lewd degradation, home intrusion, manual restraint, spitting, toxic parental issues, angst/insecurity, changes POV, NO Y/N.  

“I said I’m good, Ma,” Joel grumbles as his mom puts another heaping spatula of casserole on his plate anyway. He sighs and pushes it around with his fork. 

“What’s got ya down, hun?”  

“Nothin’.”

“It’s a girl, ain’t it?” She smiles. “Knew it. Last time ya were here, ya had that glow," she nods, then registers his sullen face again.  "It's okay, hun. Whatever it is, you'll work it out.". 

He hasn't stopped thinking about you since he was there. When he drives, when he showers, when he goes to bed, when he jacks off—he sees the desire in your eyes when you’re pinned against the counter. He sees your dripping hole stretched around his fist. He thinks about you every time he uses his wrench. Still smells like your filthy cunt. 

"Tell me 'bout her,” his mom urges. 

“Can't,” Joel mumbles. “Don’t got a girl.” 

His mom looks at him knowingly. She always sees right through him. He doesn’t like how close they are, but in a way, she’s his only friend.  He fails to suppress a little smile, then looks down shyly at his plate and finally takes a bite.  

She asks,  “How’d ya meet?” 

Joel gives her a half-serious cautionary look and keeps chewing. 

“Work?” his mom prods. 

Joel swallows, nods, and takes a sip of milk. “Gave'r a ride.”

Two rides, really. Although you took the second one all on your own. And damn, it was good. He shifts in his seat. 

“Well, great,” his mom lights up. “When ya gonna see her again?” She dabs her mouth with a cloth napkin and stands up. 

“I dunno, Ma. . .She’s too good for me.”

She huffs, adjusts her glasses, then walks over. She playfully whips him on the shoulder with the fabric napkin, then puts her finger in his face. “Don’t you ever say that. No one’s too good for my boy.” She takes his glass to the kitchen and pours him some more milk, then sits back down at the table. 

“already left me once,” Joel grumbles.

His Mom’s face falls, then sours.  

“Then she’s not worth your time." She scoffs. Or anyone else’s." 

“She’s different, Ma," he mutters deadpan, then quieter, he adds, "Sometimes I think she likes me," with the slightest lift of his brow.  

Mrs. Miller's eyebrows shoot all the way up. "Well, she should!"

"'mixed signals." He’s saying too much, but he can’t stop. It’s not like he has anyone else to talk to.

"Bring'er for dinner," she suggests.

"Ain't like that," he sulks. "We don't-" He cuts himself off and sighs, sitting back in his chair. He puts his napkin on his plate. "Shouldn't'a mentioned it," he mumbles. 

His mom reaches across the table for his hand, and he gives it to her.  He looks at the delicate, paper-thin skin covering the veins on her hand. It makes him sad. He wants to bring a girl home. He wants to make his Mom happy. He doesn't come by enough.  She must be so lonely.  And he's the one who. . .no, his father deserved it, he reminds himself for the millionth time in his life. He didn’t love them, his mom said. Resentment begins to overtake his guilt. He doesn’t want to feel sorry for her. He steels himself and decides to feel nothing. 

"Look at me, Joel."  She looks him in the eye. "You're not gonna get a wife like this, honey." Joel swallows and looks down. She continues, "Don't be a quitter. She's yours if you want her." Don’t be a quitter. 

The buzzer for the laundry goes off. Mrs. Miller starts to head to the laundry room, but Joel stops her. "Feel like a loser when ya do my laundry." 

She shakes her head in disapproval and starts clearing the table instead. "My son. . .” she picks up both their plates. ". . .Is not a loser." 

Joel finishes his laundry, watches some tv with her while she knits, then pulls himself away.  His Mom sends him on his way with an old tupperware of casserole. "Go get her," she tells him with a wink.

—-

He wants to make a move.  He wants to fuck you again, but he isn’t sure how.  How do people do it? He doesn't know how to ask you out, or what you'd do together. Every time he thinks about it, he feels stupid, but he does wanna see you.  He wants to be inside you. He wants to make you purr, little sex kitten. 

At this hour, you’re probably out whoring, but he might as well drive by while he’s close.  All your lights are off, but your car is there. Hmm. He can't bring himself to go home. Don’t be a quitter.  He sits in his car at the end of your street. Last time he came over, it went pretty well. You wanted him to fuck you, and he did.  You wanted more, and he gave you more. Then he left before you could leave him. 

He feels like you’re special, but he really only knows a few things about you. Most importantly, you like the danger, you want the thrill, you want his dick, and you sure can take a cock. 

The only thing he can think to do is give you more of what he knows you want. Even if you're asleep, you'll be purring for it as soon as he drags you out of bed and pins you on the floor.  He pictures a knife at your throat. Not a big one, just his switchblade. 

He gets out of his car and adjusts his balls, spreading his feet for a moment. Then he starts walking to your house.  After a few seconds, he goes back to his car for the casserole. Maybe you'll have a midnight snack after he stuffs you full of his cock. He rolls his eyes at himself. That’s stupid. 

—-

There's a lamp with a dying bulb barely flickering on your back patio with a couple of moths fluttering wildly around it. Joel looks into your dark kitchen and scowls at his reflection in the glass. He holds the Tupperware under his elbow and picks the lock with ease. After stepping into your kitchen, he quietly slides the door shut behind him. His boots thud stickily as he takes his first steps on the linoleum. Do you ever mop? He holds his switchblade open in the air.  He’s headed toward the hall where he expects your bedroom is.  He inches through the kitchen--between the counter on his left and the stove on his right, until he gets to your fridge.  

The surface of the fridge is peppered with magnets--souvenirs, letters of the alphabet, bottle openers. It's silly. But a piece of paper catches his eye and he stops dead in his tracks.  It's pinned to the fridge by a "J," and an "X" and an "O." He blinks and squints, but his eyes don't deceive him. It's his drawing of you, legs spread wide open. His chest flutters looking at his sketch of your cunt hung proudly on your fridge. His dick twitches, and he inhales sharply. His mouth is watering.  He dips the tip of his thick pinky between his lips and dribbles a string of saliva on the paper, right between your legs. He tilts his head and admires the way your graphite cunt glistens.

You want him. You really want him. His body relaxes. He closes and pockets his switchblade.  He opens the fridge as quietly as possible and puts the casserole on the top shelf, pausing to survey the scant contents. Mostly condiments. Takeout containers. Beer. Expired orange juice. He closes the fridge. 

The microwave is hanging down from a cabinet to his left. He steps in front of it and bends his knees enough to push back his hair in the reflection. He stands up again, squares his shoulders, then prowls in silence to your bedroom. 

---

The door is open. Of course it is. You want him.  His boots are quieter on your carpet.  He approaches the foot of your bed but doesn't get closer. You're occupying less than half the bed.  You're just as pretty in your sleep. All bundled up. He knew that already. He gets harder, recalling the time he woke you up with his cock inside you. God, you're sexy. How'd he get so lucky that a hot little slut like you wants him so bad?

He goes to the other side of your bed. His side. There’s a chair full of dirty clothes. He sits down on them and takes off his boots.  He stands up again and lowers the zipper of his jumpsuit, pressing down on his bulge to get the zipper over it without snagging. Then he peels the sleeves off and brings it down over his ass and meaty thighs. He lets it pool at his feet and steps out of it. 

He's left wearing a blue soft wash t-shirt, lighter blue striped boxers, and white socks with holes. He takes those socks off too. He approaches your bed, lifts the covers with care, and sees what you're wearing.  You're wearing the shirt–he recognizes its condition.  God damn, you really do want him.  

Joel gradually lets his weight onto your mattress as he slips under the covers. His heart races and his forehead is damp.  His cock is so hard just from being close to you. He lies there perfectly still on his side for a moment, watching your back as you breathe. Then he scoots forward, inch by inch, until his leg hair brushes your bare legs and you jerk in your sleep. 

"Shhh. It's just me," he whispers as he wraps his hulking arm over you.  He spoons you and lightly presses his hard cock against your ass. You moan in your sleep and push back, then he moans. 

You jerk in your sleep again, but this time you don't relax. You startle awake.  You gasp and whimper. Your limbs thrash, and his arm tightens around you. You squeal, and his massive hand covers your mouth.   He wasn't expecting your feisty side, kitten. He came to give you what you want. 

Why don’t you want him anymore?

-----you-----

Pure instinct kicks in when you wake up with someone in your bed. Your heart is pounding, you thrash and  kick with all your might trying to get away. He covers your mouth and repeats “It’s me, sweetheart. God damn.” He sounds confused and irritated at your reaction. His voice is familiar, but it takes you a moment to place it, despite thinking about him all the time in waking life.  It's like your subconscious hasn't caught up with reality, and can you blame it? 

"Would you stop? Damn," he pants, getting more irritated as you continue to struggle and his arm tightens more, compressing your chest.  What did he expect breaking into your house and getting into your bed?

You feel his hard dick press against your loose sleep shorts and get butterflies in your core, even as you continue struggling. He backs up for a moment and the pull of his arm forces you onto your back.  He pins you with his left forearm on your chest and aggressively yanks down your shorts then kicks them all the way off before getting between your legs. His hard cock lays against your clit, separated only by his boxers, and you're throbbing. Your efforts to free yourself get weaker and weaker until you’re just lying there, staring up at him, your chest getting sore under his arm. 

“What are you doing here?” you ask. He doesn’t answer, just breathes heavily. 

He’s scowling down at you with a fine mist of perspiration along his hairline. He presses his cock against your mound again. Over a long moment of silence, an electric charge passes between your eyes and his.  He slightly tilts his head and looks at your mouth. You reach for the back of his neck and feel the cold sweat under your palm as you pull him down, drawing his face to yours. 

Your mouths meet but don't seal, and you find your lips reaching for his, wanting something to hold, something to suck–but he devours you without granting you any bit of control. You whimper as he kisses you hungrily, hard cock throbbing against your aching clit. He kisses you sloppily, biting your lower lip, dragging his tongue across it to the corner where he pauses and presses his teeth into your cheek and grunts with a slow thrust against you. Then he drags his lips and tongue down your jaw as you tilt your chin up.

He latches onto your neck with an "mm" and his hips begin to grind his thick erection against you at a slow rhythm. He grunts and his breath is humid with a moan against your neck before he latches onto it again. You feel the delicate skin bruising under his mouth while your pussy is gushing wet. You tilt your hips and wrap a leg around him. He groans at your slick, throbbing cunt against his cock. 

He murmurs into your neck, “God damn, you’re a slut for my cock,” then chuckles. “Aren’t ya, kitten?”

He lifts his pelvis off you to massage your cunt aggressively with his hand. You whine and he gives a low whistle.  Then he urgently takes his boxers down and you help him, curling a toe into the waistband once his boxers get down to his thighs.  You drag your foot down between his legs to his feet, taking his boxers with you. . He kicks them off the rest of the way. Before he lays his hips back into you, you reach for his balls, longing to feel the heft of them. It sends a bolt of desire through you. Fuck. 

"What's wrong with you?" You ask, but you're really asking yourself.  You’re asking yourself why you've got this sicko in your bed, someone unhinged enough to break into your house not once but twice and all you want is his cock. 

"Me?" He asks. "the fuck is wrong with you?" He wraps a hand around your throat. “Playin’ games with me,” he growls bitterly. “Ya want it, ya don't, ya want it–” you cough under his grip as he reads your eyes, then he whispers, "want it" with a small nod, and takes his hand away.

He notches his tip at your entrance then breathes, "don't ya?--uggghh" As he shoves into you. “Want it, you’ll get it,” he pants as his cock parts your walls. His cock spreads you wide open as he gives you his full length, and you gasp as he bottoms out. He withdraws a few inches and hangs his head to watch you swallow him back up.  

"God damn," he murmurs.  "Forgot how tight ya were before."  Your clit twitches at the thought of the wrench. 

Then his eyes come to your chest and the ripped shirt he gave you. He moans at the sight of your nipple poking through one of the slashes and he covers it with his mouth as he fucks you.  His wide tongue drags under your nipple and wets the curled edges of the slash in the shirt before his lips seal around your nipple.  He brings his hips back and pushes into you again, sucking and moaning into your tit. Your eyes fixate on his triceps nearly bursting out of his sleeves and that’s the first time it hits you that he was already in sleepwear. He undressed and got in bed with you. God, he’s weird. And you. You're. . . You don't know, but your hands are gliding on their own over his muscular back, feeling him flex as he pounds you. 

You find your fingers curling under the bottom hem of his shirt and he reaches one hand behind his back to help you remove it. You can't see much, but when the angle shifts, the moonlight catches enough to tell you his body has really been through it. When his head dips to your neck again you watch his hulking back muscles and see lines whiter than his skin. At least a dozen, overlapping lashes. You run your hand over it and the slight change in texture makes you wince with the confirmation. No telling how old they are. 

On his front, there’s a short straight line near his shoulder and a longer, thinner one on his side, curving around near his v muscle. Your thumb drifts to that one. Joel shivers at the touch, then slams his hips into you harder. You quickly abandon it, sliding your hand up his side, then to his pec. A wicked smile spreads across half his face as your hand runs across his chest. "Y'ain't scared, are ya?" He asks, breathing heavily with his cock dragging heavily in your dripping wet cunt. 

“No.” You thumb his nipple. 

He lowers himself and lets the weight of his middle onto you with a sigh, still railing his length into you. You wrap both legs around him, and he breathes "yeah, mmmgg baby, yeah" as he fucks you deeper. 

Your nipples go fully erect. "Fuck," he breathes when he feels them.  He grinds against your clit as he fucks you, and you feel a climax looming. The thought crosses your mind whether he's going to kill you one of these days and your chest erupts in goosebumps. Your face feels cold. 

As though reading your mind, he says, “don’t whore around on me” He reads your eyes then adds, "n' you'll be fine," with a small nod, a brief smile, and harsh thrust. 

You can't help but crack a smile at the absurdity of it.  The implied monogamy–on your side, at least. When he registers your amusement, his smile fades into a scowl and his eyes turn black. He grabs your jaw, squeezes it open, and spits in your mouth.  He grabs your hand off his chest and pins both your wrists harshly above you, holding them there with one massive hand as he fucks you harder, angrier. He looks down where your bodies meet, and he watches you take his cock again, breathing heavily, sighing and moaning.

Eventually his sour mood subsides, replaced by renewed marvel at your body. "Sure can take a dick." Your hips lift into him, seeking more pressure for your clit, near the edge.  "Didn't bring my wrench." He glances around your bedroom.  You moan at the thought of him shoving something inside you. Your walls twitch, and the deep groan that leaves his mouth is too much.  You grab his ass and pull him deeper using your hands and your legs.

"Fuck, Joel," you breathe, and a new softness spreads across his face. 

His mouth falls open and he whispers, "yeah, sweetheart." You bite your lip and groan as a huge orgasm seizes you. "Yeah," he whispers and his eyes map your face as your walls clench around him. "oh fuck," he pants as you cum on his cock.  "Fuck," he breathes again, "fuckin love this cunt," he looks you in the eye.  "Ohhhh," he groans and begins to pulse inside you. He lowers his face to your neck again and you keep cumming, your body jerking into his. "Yeah, fuck," he manages into your neck as his balls empty into you. "Mmmmm" he thrusts slowly one more time like he can hardly stand the pleasure. 

He pushes himself back up to look at you and shudders as you squeeze him with an aftershock.

"'s'okay," he whispers and brushes your temple with his thumb. “ruin ya in the mornin'” In the morning? He wants to stay over? "God you're hot," he chuckles, cock still inside you. After a long moment of silence, he slides his cock out of you and you wince at the void. He lays on his stomach and drapes his arm over you. Your heart races and you can only hope he doesn’t feel it. You don’t want him in your bed right now. He's a novelty and he has to stay that way. Yeah it was fun, it’s been fun. It’s fun. You have his stupid drawing on your fridge, like a wild memory, a souvenir. But this. . . this is unsettling.  

You can't get attached to this sicko. But you know better than to try to make him leave.  He gets that look in his eye sometimes, and you just don’t know.  You take deep breaths and try to plot how you’ll get out of this in the morning. You can say you have to work. Yeah, you’ll say you have to work.  Eventually, you drift off under the weight of his arm. 

------

Thank you so much for reading and engaging! Love you guys.

@toxicfics for notifications.

[mclqren]

ALBUM RELEASE ★ LH44

PAIRING ✦ lewis hamilton x fem!singer!reader

SUMMARY ✦ you're reaching new heights with your new album, and your boyfriend is there to be your biggest fan [ SMAU ]

WARNINGS ✦ cursing

REQUESTED ✦ here!

NOTES ✦ my first lewis smau ahhh!! i've based this off of beyonce's new album, cowboy carter. reader is american. as per request, the fc i've used is beyoncé, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are closed.

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liked by lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco, and 3,192,891 others

yourusername ★ 'COWBOY CARTER' out now ★

view all comments

user1 YESS TURN IT UP 🔊🔊

user2 I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR MOTHER TO MAKE HER RETURN

user3 im literally her biggest fan.

user4 y/n goes country hellooo??

user5 im kinda here for it.

lewishamilton so proud ❤️

yourusername love you!! 💗

user6 THEY'RE SO CUTE AW

user7 the way both of lewis' accounts liked the post he's so supportive of her 😭❤️

user8 I NEED A LOVE LIKE THEIRS

carmenmmundt LISTENING ON REPEAT ❤️

yourusername MY BABYYY I LOVE YOU!!

user9 their friendship is everything to me 🤞

liked by lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, and 2,899,222 others

yourusername feeling pretty in blue 💙

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user13 MISS Y/N L/N DOES IT AGAINNNN

user14 this outfit on youuuu 🔥🔥🔥

user15 she's fireeee!

user16 i needddd the outfit details fr!

user17 can lewis share pretty please

lewishamilton 😍😍

liked by yourusername

lewishamilton photography goes crazy 🔥

yourusername don't know how you got such good quality 🤣

user18 AWWW HER PERSONAL PHOTOGRAPHER

user19 feeling extra single right now.

heidiberger_ wow 😍

yourusername love you angel 💗

lewishamilton

( caption: @/yourusername 😍😍 )

yourusername

( caption one: 'COWBOY CARTER' is doing so well on spotify & apple music. thank you so much for all your love 💞 | caption two: bowling champ 💪💪 @/lewishamilton 💞 | caption three: stance goes crazyyyy @/georgerussell63 🤣🤣 )

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, and 3,001,212 others

tagged lewishamilton

yourusername japan with you 💗

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user23 sleeping on the highway tonight.

user24 GET MARRIED ALREADY BOOOO

user25 RIGHTTT

user26 okay miss y/n serving in japannn!!

user27 every time i see her in the paddock i get so happy

user28 no same

user29 leave lewis alone???

user30 fuck off???

lewishamilton the best time ❤️

yourusername especially when i beat you at mario ❤️

lewishamilton that was a fluke.

yourusername sure it was.

user31 WHEN THEY MATCH EACH OTHER'S ENERGY>>

lilymhe loved hanging out 🥺❤️

yourusername can't wait for shanghai 💗💗

user32 Y/N IN SHANGHAI WOOHOOOO

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell63, and 2,922,039 others

tagged lewishamilton

yourusername happy five years, my love. here's to forever 🥂💗

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user34 my heart can't take it anymore.

user35 ITS ONLY BEEN FIVE YEARS WHATTT??

user36 five years of them dating and just under ten years of them being obsessed with each other 🤣

user37 guys i needddd their dating origin story

user38check out @/user33 on twitter!! trust me it's the cutest thing ever 🥺

user39 when is it my turn.

user40 im so attached to you guys its crazyyyy

carmenmmundt my cuties 🥺💞

yourusername my carm 💗💗

georgerussell63 first pic is crazy 🤣

lewishamilton ...

georgerussell63 all love lewis!!

lewishamilton no one else i'd rather spend the rest of my life with ❤️

yourusername love you lew 💗

liked by yourusername, georgerussell63, and 1,445,312 others

tagged yourusername

lewishamilton i know i post about y/n a lot, but she truly is a one of a kind person. you will never find someone as funny, as kind, or as talented as her. happy five year anniversary, love you more than anything. ❤️ (p.s. go listen to her new album if you haven't already. it'll blow your mind)

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user41 THE CAPTIONNNN AWWWW

user42 sir lewis is WHIPPED for his girlfriend (& as he should be!)

user43 such cutiessss

user44 she's the sweetestttt

user45 righttt??

user46 can someone pls give me a relationship like theirs

yourusername awww lew i love you so much 💗

liked by lewishamilton

yourusername these pics 🤣🤣

lewishamilton love you in all of them ❤️

yourusername my no.1 fan truly 💞

heidiberger_ my wife ❤️

yourusername love you heidi 💗

lewishamilton my girlfriend actually??

yourusername shhh baby ur interrupting our moment ❤️

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[alittlebitofsainz]

- told her you were just a friend -

prompt: “told her you were just a friend, told her I was homesick, I hadn’t thought of home twice.”

pairing: lando norris x reader

summary: being away from home for this long should’ve felt more difficult, but somehow, with lando by your side, anywhere feels like home. still, you can’t tell your mum just yet.

a/n: inspired by ‘the band and I’ by maisie peters :)

masterlist | the spotify wrapped collection

“yes, don’t worry, I’m remembering to drink plenty of water. okay, love you too, speak soon.”

you hung up the call, unaware of a pair of eyes lingering on you from across the room.

“who were you talking to?”

the sound of lando’s voice made you jump, head whipping round to look at him leaning against the door frame with his arms folded across his chest.

“just my mum.” you replied with a small shrug, watching as lando’s features shifted into the slightest expression of concern.

“everything okay?” he asked, and you were touched by the way he cared.

“everything’s fine. she’s just worried about me, I’ve never been away from home for this long.”

lando nodded at that, moving across the room to join you on the sofa of his drivers room. more and more often you found yourself in here to escape everything, get a bit of peace and quiet, or, as it happened today, a private place to take a phone call.

“she asked if I had ‘met any boys’.” you chuckled, gaze following lando across the room, a small smile on your face when you admitted the topic of conversation chosen by your mother.

“and what did you tell her?” lando angled himself towards you, propping an elbow on the back of the sofa. a wry smile danced across his face, and you couldn’t decide whether you wanted to slap it off or kiss it off. he knew the answer already, he was just teasing you by asking. whatever was going on between you and lando, you’d both decided not to tell anyone, not yet, at least. and unfortunately, that included your mum, who was a little prone to gossiping.

“I said no, of course.” you replied with an arched eyebrow.

“and she believed you?” came lando’s reply, a soft laugh escaping his lips, reaching out to take one of your hands in his, absentmindedly playing with your fingers as you continued to talk.

“she did ask about you, specifically. I send her a lot of pictures from the race weekends - you tend to be in most of them.” you admitted, eyeing up lando cautiously, trying to read his reaction.

“and what did you say to that?” he asked, his voice low, questioning, eyes still twinkling with mischief.

“I told her you were just a friend.”

lando chuckled at that, repeating a muttered just a friend under his breath. you couldn’t help but mirror his laugh, shaking your head at the ridiculousness of the statement.

“yeah, I’m not sure whether she believed that one.” you added, with a grin.

“if we were just friends…” lando murmured, leaning over the sofa to hook a finger under your chin, guiding your face up to meet his, “… would I do this?”

he trailed kisses down the side of your face, across your cheek, pressing one to the corner of your mouth before capturing your lips with his. you giggled softly into the kiss, allowing your eyes to close, one hand finding its way up to cup his cheek in your palm. you’d gotten used to this, secret moments behind closed doors. you didn’t mind, for the moment; you knew the pressure that came with being lando’s girlfriend, knew the scrunity you’d be under.

the next time your mum called, you might be more inclined to talk about the boy who’d captured your heart and made your whole life light up. but for now, your relationship belonged to just you, and no one else.

a little part 2 is out now :)

and the final part!

[j-eryewrites]

Enemy

Chapter Four of Under Pressure: A Thunderbolts Fic

Previous | Next

SERIES MASTER LIST | MAIN MASTER LIST

Word Count: ~5.8k

Spotify Playlist

Warnings: Canon typical violence, THUNDERBOLTS SPOILERS, language, mentions of manipulation, vivid descriptions of pain and violence, Sentry and Void, angst and hurt, no comfort. (Let me know if I missed anthing)

Author's Note: We're getting to the good stuff now. I had a lot of fun writing this. Again this wasn't really proofread. I'll go back an edit the chapters, but my motivation for writing has really kicked in so I'm following the high. Anyway, please enjoy this next chapter! (Also I mixed up the chapter titles for this and the previous chapter. It's fixed now, so no need to worry ;) )

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Your eyes flung open. White blinding light filled your view. Blinking a few times, you groaned the sound falling short in your mouth as you saw your reflection on the white linoleum flooring. A cold chill crept down your spine, sending waves of fear throughout your body. Whipping your head up you found yourself in a long colorless hall. Walls lined with observation windows and blinking locking mechanisms. Your lip began to tremble as a sickening recognition filled you. You had gotten out. Escaped. The Avengers had taken you in and made sure you never saw the walls of this place again. Yet here you were. 

Standing up, your eyes darted around the hallway. They seemed neverending as the blaring light created a mirrored surface. One thing was for sure. You had to get out. Quickly, your feet dashed down the hallway. Sprinting, you felt your lungs heave with exhaustions. With each step you felt as if the hallway extended further and further becoming a labyrinth. You didn’t know how long you ran. Knees buckling under you, you fell to the ground coming face to face with your reflection once again. 

“Begin the simulation,” a deep voice commanded. You heard the murmurs of the other assisting scientists. A shiver rippled underneath your skin. Using the wall as leverage, you pushed yourself to a stand coming face to face with a window into a lab. As if a sudden drought overfell you, your throat dried up, your voice hoarse as you cried out at the scene. 

There you were, sitting on a gurney hooked up to a vast machine. Wires were strung from your head and fingers. The maze of wires intermingled with the others that were connected to the other children. Fast asleep under the spell of anesthesia, you all were subjected to the tests. But this test was different. It was the one that changed everything. 

Your fist banged against the mirror pane. The glass ripples from the impact of your fists, but never breaks. 

“No, no, no.” Your vocal chords grinded against the other. You had to get in there. You had to stop this, but the glass would not give. “No!” You screamed as the lights in the lab and hallway flickered around you. You helplessly watched as the scientists scrambled to adjust settings and shut the test down. Wires sparked and one by one the children surrounding the machine bodies erupted in seizures. Eyes rolled back, drool and foam trickled from the mouth. Their veins splicing, the blood spilling out mimicking the shape of the electrical current flowing through them. Heart monitoring screeched, blaring red. With one final flash, everything went dark. 

It was a few moments before the backup generators flickered on. You knew what came next, but still you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the scene. Bodies of scientists and children littered the room. All dead except for one. Turning your head away as your sleeping body aroused from the drug induced slumber, you noticed a figure standing beside you. Jumping back, you came to face dark blue eyes. The tears pooling in his eyes mirrored yours. 

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“Jesus, how long does it take to wake someone up?” A disdainful voice questioned. 

Your vision blinked in and out of focus. Two dark figures zoomed in and out. Your brain was foggy and everything was sore, your body fighting the rising conscious state. 

“The medical staff stated that it shouldn’t be long now,” a soft voice tried to explain. 

You watched the fuzzy scene as the shorter figure approached you. You tried to make sense of it all, but your mind kept growing blanks. It took a moment before any semblance of movement displayed from your limbs. At the twitch of your fingers you heard the excitement from the soft one. “Valentina,” she said. You watched with clearer eyes as she pulled the other’s sleeve. Soon the view bloomed to life. “She’s awake.” 

“Ah, there you are Ms. Stark. We were starting to worry you wouldn’t wake up. Oh and don’t think about doing your little energy thing.” Perfectly manicured nails pointed to two bulky bracelets thrumming with power. “The tower wasn’t the only thing I bought from your father’s company.” 

You knew that voice. Without a second thought you shot up from the bed you lay in. Tubes and wires connecting to monitors hung attached to your fingers and arms. “Valentina,” you hissed. Upon seeing her dark hair and white strands framing her heart-shaped face everything came back to you: the vault, and the others, Project Sentry and Bob. 

“Where’s Bob?” You coughed. Valentina’s assistant, Mel, handed you a cup of water. You scowled at the cup of liquid. Noticing your hesitation, Valentina assured you it wasn’t poison. “I wouldn’t put it past you. Now, where's Bob?” 

“Robert is fine,” Valentina began. You couldn’t help how your eyes narrowed at how she said his name. “In fact he’s perfect.” A soft smile flashed across her face as a calculated hand reached out to yours. You yanked your hand away, causing Valentina’s expression to falter. “Look, I think the two of us got off on the wrong foot.” Flicking her hair out of her face, she continued. “I’m here to help both Robert and you. I–” 

“His name is Bob,” you corrected. 

Valentina let out a strained laugh. “It’s so sweet you think you know him after your little stint in the vault.” She leaned closer to you, her voice growing dangerously low. “But you know nothing about him. At least not as well as I do.” 

Your gaze remained unwavering as you stared at her, but she caught the tiny tremble in your eyes. Could you really say you know him? You’d only known him for a few hours and in that time you had no clue he was Project Sentry. You began to wonder how much you really did know about him. Your eyes flickered to Valentina’s triumphant grin. You shook your head, throwing your doubts about Bob to the wind. “We’ve got you Valentina. The evidence in the vault. The others. I notified Bucky, and he–” 

“Lets stop with the threats, Ms Stark, and talk about this like adults.” You fell silent, eyeing both her and Mel. “Good. Now as I was saying, I’m here to help. The world has felt a void since the Avengers left. Everyone has grown uncertain about who is coming to save the day. I’m sure you’ve felt that hole more than anyone.” Valentina motioned for Mel to hand her the tablet. “Project Sentry, the one you reported to the authorities, is there to fill that ache in your heart.” She handed you the tablet. Your eyes fell down to the screen scanning the information there. It was a picture of Bob alongside concepts and various notes. You had seen these before in the vault, taken photos of some as evidence. “I hope you will welcome Robert as the world’s mightiest hero. All the Avengers bagged into one perfect specimen.” 

“What?” You asked, your tone a caution for Valentina’s next words. 

“I need you, the daughter of Tony Stark and the girl raised by the Avengers to help introduce Sentry,” she pointed to the sketched photos of Bob in a super suit,” to the world. The people, they’ll believe you. They trust you. After all, who wouldn’t believe the child of the Avengers, the heroes we all hold close to our hearts.” 

“No,” you swore,” You tried to kill me in that vault.” 

Valentina asked. “No, I tried to kill criminals. Pests infesting our country. You were swept up with the dirt. An accident.” 

“Pests?” Your jaw clenched at her words. 

“Ms. Stark,” Valentina calmly addressed you. “I want to bring in a new era of peace. In this new world there can be no trash hiding under the bed. We need a clean slate. A fresh start–” 

“Shut the fuck up,” you hissed. Valentina jumped slightly at your voice. “I won’t help you and you sure as hell won’t succeed. They’ll come and–”

“Who? Your little delinquent friends from the vault?” Valentina scoffed. “It’s a miracle you even worked your way out of there in the first place, but to take on me? The Sentry?” She cynically laughed, her words cutting deep against your skin. “They’ll be arrested or dead the moment they step foot near me.” Sitting up straight, she adjusted her matching suit. The fabric pulled taught against her. With a flick of her fingers, Mel had snatched the pad away from you and the two of them stood up opening the door to your strange cell. Just as Valentina was about to exit, she turned back to you. “Oh, and about your help? Let me just say that the media is more susceptible to my charms than you are.” Without another word, she left. The door locking shut behind her. 

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

It had been hours since anyone entered your room. You weren’t really even sure if you could call it that. The empty coloring and design brought you back to your past. Unease boiled in your stomach. You tried to not let Valentina get to you. She knew your past and had used it against you before. But that was long ago. You were older now, smarter, and you’d go through hell and back before you’d let Valentina use you again. 

The only thing keeping you company and letting you know the passing of time was the monitor beside your bed. Every fifteen minutes it’d beep and the strap around your arm would squeeze tightly before releasing. You hated the quiet of the room. You hated the quiet. In the quiet you would think, your mind would be free to remember and remember hurt. Questions and worries filled you. What was Valentina doing to Bob? Was he okay? Did the others make it out? Has Bucky gotten your message? You knew your suit was destroyed, one of the last things you had left that Tony had made for you. Pulling at the sleeve of the medical garment you wore, you felt yourself become lost in your thoughts. 

All of a sudden, the door’s locks were released. Mel peaked her head in. Her songbird necklace clinked against the frame of the door. “Good,” She said. “You’re still awake.” Pushing the door further open, she stepped inside followed by a few others. You eyed the contents of their hands: freshly ironed clothes, makeup, hair products. 

“What’s this?” You asked, scooting back on the medical bed until your back hit the wall.

“Valentina said to get you ready.” 

You frowned. “I told her I–”

“You weren’t going to help?” Mel finished. “Yeah, I know. Still. I’m just doing my job.” 

Without another word she gave the go ahead for the team of people to approach you. Mel took her leave and closed the door. One man in a nurse uniform began to remove the wires and medical devices attached to your person. The bracelets dampening your abilities remained on. Next a woman grabbed your arm, pulling you off the bed. Her hands made quick work of the medical garb’s tie in the back before handing you a change of clothes. 

“Change into these,” she instructed. You slowly eyed her, noting how she didn’t back away from you or turn her head. Realizing she and the others weren’t going to offer any semblance of privacy, you began to change into the new clothes. The shirt hugged your body tightly. Long sleeve clung to your arms and at the end was a small hole for your thumb to slip through. Your pants were high waisted and were of a looser design. It reminded you of lounge wear, but clean and fashionable. Next you slipped on the shoes provided for you, regular white sneakers. 

Once you had changed, you found yourself being dragged to a nearby chair. A man with nicely trimmed hair, began to fiddle with your locks. All while another woman began to pepper your face with makeup. There was no mirror to see what they were doing, but you could guess what they were told to do. Make her look presentable, not enough to debunk the story, but enough to make them all look good. 

You tried making conversation, putting the pieces together to give you a better idea of Valentina’s plan, but none of them spoke other than to tell you to look straight and hold still. Instead, you opted to gain as much as you could from what your eyes and ears were telling you. You couldn’t use your powers and sense the flows of energy nearby, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t something for you to go off of. You had gotten glimpses of what lay outside the door as they had all trickled in. The scene was half baked, a construction site. From there you remembered what you had drawn up in your initial investigation of Valentina. She had bought the Avengers tower. Your childhood home. And she was renovating it, but halted the project once the Senate began their investigation. It was probably a long shot, but if it was the tower. You could get out and find Bob. You just needed the opportunity to. 

“Ms. Stark?” Mel’s voice called out to you. You peered over your shoulder at her, not realizing the make and hair artists have completed their jobs. “We’re ready for you.” For a moment, you stayed sitting in your chair, before coming to a stand. Mel motioned for you to follow her as she walked out of the room. Hesitantly, you trailed after her. Your eyes darted around for any sign she was tricking you, but none came. No one stopped you as you walked by. They hardly paid attention to you. 

You nearly tripped over Mel as she came to a stop. “Inside, Ms. Stark,” She told you. It was an elevator. Large and spacious. You glanced at the glowing button pointing up. You nodded your head at Mel as you stepped inside, hoping that you’d be able to figure out what floor you were going to be on. Soon the thrum of the elevator stopped. The doors opened and you stepped out. The room was a husk of what it had been before. Once filled with seating and a long bar along the east wall. It was a room of comfort and welcome arms. A place where you spent many a night playing board games, joking and laughing with your family. Now it was stripped bare. A cold earthen design along the walls accompanied by a few stray chairs and a small bar and seat are to the west. Beside you, the walls held tokens from your past. Weapons and fragments of armour were displayed like a museum. 

“Ah, Ms. Stark,” Valentina greeted. A chute of champagne in her hand. “Speak of the devil, Senator Barnes was just asking about you.” 

Surrounding her were four familiar faces and a scruffy giant man. You blinked a few times, in disbelief of their appearance. 

“Bucky? Guys?” You questioned their presence. “What are you doing here–”

“Is this Tony Stark's daughter?” The bulky man bellowed. You offered a small wave as Yelena groaned into her hand. “Alexei Shostakov. Red Guardian. Pleasure to meet you.” He stepped forward to grasp your hand, taking it into a firm handshake. Retrieving your hand from him, your arm felt like jello. “Yelena talked about you alot. You two are very good friends,” Alexei added. You glanced at Yelena with a shocked expression. She thought you were friends?

“Dad, what did I say about–sorry Stark. He’s just like that.” 

“Uh, no problem,” you muttered a bit bewildered by the attendance of your vault mates, Bucky, Yelena’s dad and Valentina. 

“Jesus, Stark,” Ava gasped. “Why do you look like you're about to go on the front page of a magazine.”  You glanced at your reflection in the display case. Ava was spot on with her assumptions. They’re scruffed up and dirty looks were a stark contrast to your light and innocent look that the artists had dressed you in. 

Before you could respond, Valentina clinked the side of her glass. “While I hate to cut your heartwarming reunion short, but there are more important matters we should be discussing”

“Yeah?” Yelena cocked her head to the side. “You want to talk important, Valentina, you tell us where Bob is.” The others nodded their heads in agreement. 

“She’s got him,” You interjected. “Bob’s project Sentry.” 

“Thank you, Ms. Stark for that…mediocre introduction.” Valentina cleared her throat, brushing her hair over her shoulder. She blinked, glancing around the room at everyone. “Robert,” her voice sang over you all followed by a thud of boots down a set of stairs behind the bar, Valentina leaned against. With a cocky, ear-splitting grin, she soaked in your varied expressions of shock and confusion. 

You stood stunned, eyeing Bob strut down the stairs. His hair bleached blonde and streaked back with a light covering of gel. His body was scarce of any sweat or dirt he collected in the desert vault. Clothing his body was a near skin tight suit. The golden and blue fabric showcased his defined muscles. A dark blue cloak floated behind him. He looked unrecognizable, like a Greek god from the past. 

“Oh my god,” Yelena enunciated. 

“That’s Bob,” Ava muttered. 

Walker nodded his head. “Yes, he’s changed a bit.” 

Valentina clasped her hands together then waving to Bob, she began. “It is my great honor to present to you, the Sentry.” 

Bob stood tall and proud. You swore he grew a few inches. Searching your faces, he shyly smiled. “Hi, guys,” he greeted. His dark blue eyes landed on you, and you swore you saw his breath catch in his throat. “Hi, Y/N,” he said sheepishly. 

“Oh, that’s great,” Walker cursed, adjusting the grip of his shield. 

Smiling, Valentina continued with Sentry’s introduction. “All-powerful, invincible, stronger than all the Avengers combined into one, and soon to be known as Earth’s mightiest hero.” 

Ava’s face scrunched up. “Did you dye your hair?” She asked Bob. 

Bob nodded. “Yeah, well, it was–”

“It was my idea,” Valentina bragged, dragging a hand up Bob’s arm. “People love a classic hero.” 

Bucky’s blue eyes flickered between Bob and you. His eyes noted how the man seemingly couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. You on the other hand scowled at Valentina. “Alright,” Bucky stated. “I’ll bite.” Valentina’s hand drew away from Sentry. “What’s the plan?” 

“Haven’t you figured it out yet, Senator Barnes?” She questioned him. Bucky shook his head. “Well at least you’re somewhat cute.” 

“You’re not going to hurt people,” Alexier announced, puffing his chest out. The group began to close in on Valentina. You watched as she stepped behind Bob, the Sentry. 

“No, I’m not going to hurt people,” Valentina corrected. “I’m going to hurt you. You see, the press is on their way up here now and they’re going to witness,” She turned to Bob and smiled, “the amazing power of Sentry as he takes out a ruthless group of rogue agents hell bent on taking out our dear Ms. Y/N Stark.”  You felt all the air in your lungs leave. Yelena and the others glanced at you with varied looks. Some expressed betrayal, others hurt. “Thus beginning a new era in which I decide how to keep the American people safe. Answerable to no one. I will be untouchable and unimpeachable.” 

“That’s not going to happen, Valentina,” you stated. 

“And that’s not for you to decide, Ms. Stark,” Valentina finished. Turning to Bob, she relayed her first command. “Sentry,” he leaned closer to her, “your first mission is to take these criminals out.” 

Bob nodded, accepting the order. Your expression faltered. “I don’t want to hurt you, guys. So why don’t you just surrender?” 

“No,” Walker shook his head. “You don’t want to do this, Bobby.” 

Bob tensed at the nickname. His jaw clenched tightly as he spoke slowly. “You can call me the Sentry.” He took a step forward towards all of them, his fists clenched. 

“Please,” Yelena pleaded. “Don’t do this. You don’t need to listen to her.”

“Robert,” Valentina called out, demanding his attention which he willingly gave to her. “They don’t think you’re good enough.” 

“That’s not true, remember?” Yelena corrected. “You can trust me.” 

For a moment, Bob paused. His dark blue eyes turned into whirlpools of gold. Bob was no longer there. He was only the Sentry. “I don’t think so.” 

Grunting, Alexei cried. “Enough talking! Nobody messes with the West Chesapeake Valley Thunderbolts!” Then he charged Sentry like a rhino, only for Sentry flick his wrist sending Alexei flying into the wall behind him. The sound of concrete shattering filled the air. 

All of a sudden, everyone flew into combat. Next Walker threw his shield. Sentry quickly raised his forearm to block it. The shield bounced off him knocking Walker in the chest. Focused on Walker, Bucky shot his gun. Four bullets shot. One by one they stopped just in front of Sentry. Floating, Sentry eyed the bullets before shooting ricochets back at Bucky, which Walker deflected with his shield. 

From beside Ava appeared. One hand swung at his head. The knives never scratch the surface of the Sentry. Getting back up, Bucky and John charged, coming at the Sentry from all angles. You could only helplessly watch as the Sentry pushed them back, knocking them to the ground. 

Running over to Bucky, you held out your wrists. “Their dampeners, I need the–” Before Bucky could snap them, Yelena crashed into him. Whipping your head around, you saw Ava and Walker continuing their attacks. Alexei came up the rear screaming a battle cry. One by one they fell and got back up. Each time slower and weaker than before. 

Sentry danced around them. Flying, punching, and maneuvering around each of them. His face filled with unwavering confidence as they continued their assault. He swatted them away like pesky flies. His ego and attacks were growing more violent. Ava cried out as Sentry grabbed her out of her phased state, taking her knife out of her hand and chucking it to the side before tossing her into a pile with the others near the elevator. 

You glanced over your friends. They weren’t getting back up. Your eyes darted over to Ava’s discarded knife. You couldn’t use your powers, but you could give them time. Dashing over to the knife, you slid across the ground picking it up. Dust and specs of shattered glass dirtied your clothes. You stood behind Bob, knife drawn as he had his back turned to you, stalking closer to the others. 

“Bob!” You called out his name. The Sentry froze in his pursuit, clicking his lips together he turned to face you. His eyes fell down to the knife that trembled in your grasp. From behind Sentry, Yelena, wide eyed, shook her head at you. 

The Sentry chuckled at your attempt to engage with him in combat. “Y/N,” he tsked. “Don’t do this. I’m supposed to save you.” His pupils went wide with gold flames. 

“This isn’t you, Bob.” The Sentry winced at the name. “Please stop, we’re–”

“It’s Sentry.” He surged towards you. Feet inches off the floor, he grabbed your wrists raising them above your head as he pushed you against a wall. You cried out in pain as his grip on your wrists tightened. The dampeners’ light flickered on and off. Your fingers turned white as you released Ava’s knife. It clattered to the floor in a deafening silence. “Why can’t you just let me save you?” Sentry asked. His head lowered closer and closer to your face. 

“You’re hurting me,” You whimpered. Sensing your fear, Sentry pulled back just enough for you to see the deep blue of his eyes. You gasped as you felt him place a hand against your cheek. His thumb wiping off the dust that had smeared your makeup. In that moment of hesitance, you sensed it. The dampeners crushed by the hand of Sentry, you felt his energy call out to you. Your powers were back. Sentry’s thumb froze beside your lips. His eyes trickled down lower and lower. 

You gulped, closing your eyes. Energy was not meant to stay put. It was meant to be used, redirected. That’s why you had trained to redirect instead of drain. Purely absorbing fried computers and weakened defenses but without anywhere to go, the energy flared up inside you, fighting your own energy like weeds trying to overtake a garden. Smaller and weaker weeds were easier to fight. Larger ones with deeper roots took time to drown it out. You could only wait as your body fought the foreign currents. A struggle that only got worse with the remnants of the mind stone staining your energy flow.  You knew the risks. The dangers that came from trying to tackle his energy, swallowing the overflowing wisps that glowed brighter than the sun. 

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, barely loud enough for the Sentry to hear. Suddenly, his feet touched the ground. He blinked a few times, noticing the faint glow from streaming down from your hands and the top of your head. You were draining his energy, weakening him. His hand dropped to his side, releasing you. His energy inside you was fighting yours, begging to be let out and redirected. You collapsed to the floor clenching your stomach. It burned. 

Behind Sentry, stood for one final push. Stripping off his leather jacket he charged Sentry whose eyes wavered with betrayal. You had weakened him. Not enough to beat him, but enough to give them a chance. Bucky punched his arms against Sentry. Relentless, Bucky fought Sentry, who stood eerily still. 

After a minute of Bucky’s attack, Sentry caught Bucky’s metal arm. His fist made the metal groan before he tore it off Bucky and hit him with it. 

Chucking the arm to the side, Sentry stared down at you, as you trembled with pain. A part of him ached at the sight of you struggling to keep Sentry’s energy at bay. It was one thing to absorb the energy of a supercomputer, but when it came to the energy of a thousand suns it hurt. Sentry’s eyes narrowed as he stepped closer to you, cocking his head to the side to study your pain. Your skin was flaring up with a gold light as your typical iridescent lighting flickered in and out. As time passed, the gold light got brighter, scorching your veins. 

In your pain, you made eye contact with the others. “Go!” You yelled through clenched teeth.“Go!” Bucky was the first to take action, pulling Walker and the others to their feet. His  glacier blue eyes flickered to yours. They saw your determination behind the sweat and tears that trickled down your face. You were giving them a chance to run, a chance to fight another day. You watched as they quickly trickled into the elevator. Bucky pausing to look at you before fleeing. Sighing in relief as the elevator doors closed, your fingers tensed against the ground. 

The clicking of heels echoed across the floor covered in debris did little to draw Sentry’s attention from you shriveled up on the floor. “You should’ve listened, Ms. Stark.” You whimpered as the pain of Sentry’s energy coursed through you. Is this what Bob felt when they injected him with this power? The power seared everything it touched, making it hard to see or hear anything. “Finish the job, Robert,” Valentina commanded, glowering at you with disgust on her face. She could secure Sentry’s future without you. 

Sentry’s eyes flickered away from you. “Finish the job?” He glanced down back at you. The ache in his chest before was getting stronger. You were like this because of him. He was meant to save you, not this. Now Valentina wanted him to kill you. That wasn’t the plan. “No.” 

Valentina blinked once. Then twice. Her eyes dragged from your struggling figure to the Sentry. “What?” 

“That wasn’t the plan,” he stated. 

Valentina’s voice rose. “You have to do what I tell you, Robert.” She sounded like a mother scolding a child’s disobedient act. 

“Why?” Sentry asked, challenging Valentina’s words. The confidence of a god that Bob possessed before faltered, leaving cracks of insecurity and uncertainty. Even crumpled in on yourself glowing like a ticking time bomb, you felt the shift in power. Valentina grew more and more fearful, desperate to regain control. “It has to be more of a collaboration,” Bob began to pace around the room as the pain inflicted by Sentry’s power began to ease up on you. “The hair, for example. Maybe I should have had more of a say.” 

“Don’t let those idiots get in your head,” Valentina tried to soothe this new breaking foundation Sentry stood on. “The blond is great.” 

His mind turned to the skepticism Ava and the other had at his hair. They hated it? Didn’t they? “I don’t know, I thought I liked it and now I’m not so sure,” Bob mumbled under his breath. 

“Enough about the hair,” Valentina demanded. “Are you still mumbling about the hair?” 

“No,” Bob shook his head. The shakiness that was present in his hands before returned. “It’s everything. My suit, my name, my missions.” He raised his head, putting a halt to his pacing. His eyes lightly twitched before settling on Valentina. A shadow of darkness crept onto his face making his blue eyes seem more like the darkest depths of the sea. “I mean, why would a god take orders from…,” Bob stalked closer towards Valentina. With each step he took she took one back. As Bob cornered Valentina, you managed to crawl away towards the side. The pain still flared up every so often, but it was more manageable than before. Your energy had begun to fight back against his energy, and it was winning. “Anyone at all?” 

Valentina scoffed. “I think you're using the word God a little loosely there.”

Bob shook his head. “No, no, because you said I was. All-powerful and invincible and stronger than an entire Avengers team, which includes at least one god.” He noted how Valentina’s eyes widened, briefly flashing with fear. Her hand slowly drew behind her back. “So I thought I was starting to...I think maybe you don't know what I am. Or what I'm capable of.”

“Oh, damn it,” Valentina cursed. 

“Perhaps I need to show you,”Bob challenged. 

“This is very irritating–” Valentina exclaimed, but found Bob’s hand around her throat flying her back into a nearby wall. Startled, she dropped a small device. You eyed it and the small red light atop the device. Valentina gasped upon impact.

“You were going to turn on me,” Bob accused. His grip on her neck tightened. Valentina clawed at Bob’s hands as she choked for air. “Just like the rest of them.”

“I'm not afraid of you, Robert.” Valentina choked, trying to gain some power in the situation. 

Bob shook his head, eyes a fire with the challenge he presented to her. “That's not what you need to be afraid of.”

Click. 

Bob’s eyes rolled back into his head. He fell limp, falling to the floor. 

Gasping for air, Valentina peered up. Kneeled on the floor, with the kill switch in hand was you. You weren’t sure how you got to the device. You knew it held some importance, that it could stop Bob. You didn’t want him to have her death on his hands. Bob was a hero. A misguided one, manipulated by Valentina. Despite it all, you knew what lied underneath. After all, you had seen it, the hero in Bob, as he sacrificed himself so that you all could escape the vault. That’s why you pressed the switch, but why was he still? Why was Bob not breathing?

The elevator door dinged behind you. A light of recognition and relief filled Valentina as she stood up and approached the person behind you. As she passed by you, she paused. Her heels clicked together. “Call clean up. We need to get rid of the body,” Valentina announced loudly. You froze. Your heart was pounding thunderously in your ears. You didn’t see the smirk on Valentina’s face as she walked away. “Tell Holt it’s finally time to go lethal on these losers.” 

You didn’t move even after the elevator doors closed carrying Valentina far away from you. You could hardly breathe. The pain from before was nothing to how your body constricted itself. Your lungs tightened forcing all air out in cries and gasps. You had killed Bob. You hadn’t realized it was a kill switch, instead thinking it was something equivalent to a super power shock collar. Staring at his lifeless body, you sobbed. Chucking the switch away, you crawled over to Bob muttering useless apologies. His eyes were closed as you took his head into your lap. No energy flowed beneath your fingertips. Instead lay a void absent of all light. 

As you mourned Bob’s death and your actions, you didn’t notice how the room grew darker. Shadows from the corners crept closer reaching out spreading like ink tainting the room around you. The tendrils of black drew closer, swirling around and reaching out to Bob. Wiping your eyes clear from tears, you saw the darkness swallowing him whole. Startled, you backed away, watching the shadow around you be soaked up by Bob’s body. You eyed the body void of all light, shape or definition. The lights in the room flickered and the building quaked. You tried to stand up, but your knees buckled under you, still weak from your attempt to weaken the Sentry earlier. 

“Y/N Stark,” a voice coldly called out your name. You looked up from the ground to find Bob’s body floating in the air. A gasp left your lips at the sight. Whatever was before you wasn’t Bob. It took his form, but was empty of everything that was him. Where once blue eyes lived were piercing white pupils. Small and dagger like they stared at you, taunting you. “You thought you could save him. Be the hero your father always wanted you to be, but you know the truth. You’re weak. Scared. Not worthy of the legacy they left you.”

His words sliced deep, cutting loose the fears and insecurities you tried so hard to push down. “How can you save anyone if you can’t even control your powers?” He floated closer to you. The air around you turned cold and menacing, stealing away your breath. “You really just a Jinx.” He hissed your title like a slur. A name given in love now flipped around to stab you deep in the heart. 

“Bob, stop it,” you pleaded, trying to crawl away from him. 

“He can’t hear you,” it said. Raising a hand up to you, he cocked his head to the side. “You can’t escape me, can’t escape the void.” You braced yourself for an attack that never came. Darkness drowned out all light, swallowing up your vision. 

Suddenly the room burst with a white light. ““Begin the simulation.”

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for astra: park sunghoon

part two of for astra | spotify playlist

pairing: sunghoon x afab!reader word count: 2.4k

synopsis: sunghoon finds himself waking up and repeating the same day over and over again until he finally breaks the cycle and finds himself on a space station called ‘astra 1’. he soon learns he is one of the few who are still alive and that they aren’t alone…

genre: space!au, survival!au, neurologist!sunghoon, neurologist!reader, strangers to lovers, angst, smut.

warnings: swearing, blood, m*rder, guns go pew pew, other life forms, some science talk, unprotected sex, biting, hair pulling, sunghoon fucks reader against the wall, adding more as the story progresses, MINORS DNI!!! (these tags will be on every part even if they do not consist of said tag)

intro | part one | part two

this is part TWO for the series, please read the INTRO and part ONE before this part!!💜

Sunghoon opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was his reflection with the infinite space staring back at him through the windows. Everything felt fuzzy as his eyes and brain adjusted. He blinked a few times and tried to move, eyes whipping down to his wrists and seeing them bound to the chair he was locked in. 

He tried to kick his legs, finding they too, were bound to this chair. 

Sunghoon’s heart raced as he thrashed around in the chair, trying hard to break free. His eyes wander around the…lab? He was in a lab. Neuromods sat on the counter to his left along with testing beakers of what looked like the Typhon’s blood. X-rays hung above the counter that he could only assume were his. He continued to thrash around in the chair, taking notice he had IVs also hooked in his right arm at the crease of his elbow and the sound of a machine buzzing as his left arm was squeezed, assuming for taking his blood pressure. 

“What the fuck…” he whispers, continuing to try and pull his arms free. 

“I wouldn’t continue that if I were you,” the voice startled him, his head whipping to his right and seeing another male, their back facing him and typing away at the computer in front of him, “You need to keep that IV in.” 

That voice…

It couldn’t be…

The male turned around, leaning against the desk and crossing his arms over his chest, that ring placed directly on his middle finger. 

Sunghoon was staring back at himself. 

“What the fuck!!!” he yelled, trying to force his wrists from the restraints, them digging into his skin and a mixture of red and black blood dripping from the top of his wrist. 

“I’m going to need you to calm down,” The other Sunghoon said with an eye roll, “You and I are the same person, there’s no need to be acting a fool.” 

Is this how it felt to be employed by him? 

“I died!” Sunghoon snapped, shaking his head, “Where the fuck am I?! Who the fuck are you?!” 

The male sighed, looking down at the floor. A white ball floated up to Sunghoon just then, tilted to its side. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt the sadness radiating off this small little ball. 

“Nov!” he cried, pulling once again at his restraints, “Get me out of here!” 

The ball turned and looked at the other him, another sigh leaving his lips. 

“That’s not November,” The male said, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth. 

Sunghoon glanced back and forth between himself(?) and the bot. He felt betrayed. 

“Been a while, hasn’t it?” the bot spoke. Sunghoon’s eyes widened.

“He-Heeseung?” his voice was barely above a whisper, tears swelling his eyes. 

Heeseung floated closer to him, “Everything is okay,” he said, a hint of hurt behind his voice, “We’ll explain everything.” 

“You’re dead,” Sunghoon shook his head, “I saw the videos! I saw how that phantom took over your body! I saw it in the trauma center!” 

“Just…” his best friend backed away, tilting himself to the side, “Just let us explain.” 

Sunghoon looked back at himself, “Fucking explain what the fuck is going on!!” 

The other male sighed again, giving a painful expression, “What you just experienced was a mixture of my past memories and a simulation.” 

Sunghoon furrowed his brows, “That’s not possible,” he shook his head, “That’s not possible!!” 

The other male tilted his head, “So were the neuromods,” his eyes glanced at the few sitting on the counter, “And we made it happen. You saw it firsthand in the simulation.” 

Sunghoon looked down at the floor, squeezing his hands into fists, “How are the two of us?” 

Heeseung sighs, “The same way I am in this bot, psyche transfer.” 

So his best friend was still dead. His mind was just backed up into a fucking neuromod and shoved into a fucking ball. Sunghoon could feel his heart ripping. 

But does that mean…?

Sunghoon quickly shot his head back up and looked at the man standing at his side, seeing the same pained expression looking back at him, “I’m a copy, aren’t I?” 

The real him nodded, “You are part of my psyche that I transferred into a phantom. Our psyche is so strong, you took over the phantom’s body,” The real him walked across the lab, fidgeting with the neuromods, “She was one hell of a neurologist, wasn’t she? Couldn’t have made any of this possible without her.” 

You. The way other Sunghoon spoke…you were truly gone. 

Sunghoon watched as the real him went back to the computer, typing a few things in, then turned back around to face him. Sunghoon studied his own features, seeing the real him hadn’t slept for who knew how long. 

Sunghoon looked back to the floor, “Why did you do this? How do I even look human?” 

Heeseung moved closer to him, “Since your psyche was so strong and took over the phantom, your body morphed into a human state, completely taking over in every aspect.” 

It made sense. Sunghoon always knew he was strong-willed, and he guessed this body was living proof of that. 

“Why are you doing this, Sunghoon?” he asked the real him, glaring up at him, “Why did you put me through hell?!” 

The real him swallowed, eyes swelling and clearly looked like he was fighting against his own demons deep within, “To save her.” 

He didn’t even need to ask who he meant. He shared a heart and mind with the man across from him anyway, “How?” it was all Sunghoon could ask.

“These simulations,” the male said, running his hand through his hair, “Of making you relive our memories in hopes of finding a way to save her. To gather more pieces of her psyche through us.” he pointed his finger between the copy and real him, “If I can gather enough of her psyche, I can upload it into a neuromod and bring her back.” 

Sunghoon scoffed, “Simulations. Plural. Mean’s you’ve put me through this multiple times?” 

The other Sunghoon nodded, “And each time you reach the end, I am a step closer to bringing her back.” 

Sunghoon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Couldn’t comprehend what he was even being told. He’s a phantom? He’s relived watching you die over and over again? It’s no different than what those damned scientists put him through. 

He looked over at Heeseung then back at his real self, “Heeseung is dead, how did you get his psyche?” 

“He…he killed the phantom that took over me,” Heeseung quickly said, “And stripped out the neuromods I planted into myself.” Sunghoon didn’t need to hear the rest to understand what the real him did next. Probably separated the phantom and Heeseung’s psyches and then uploaded them into the bot. 

“One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do…killing my best friend to free him from that creature.” the male mumbled, looking off into the infinite space, “The hardest thing for sure, is the fact I couldn’t save YN. I wasn’t strong enough to pull her back into the station.” 

He had a realization then, “After that panel closed you escaped to the shuttle bay, like she told us to.” 

He nodded, “Ran as quickly as I could. November followed behind me and reminded me about the ship that had a lab, which is where we are now. I knew then what I had to do.” 

And the rest is history, I guess. 

The real Sunghoon glanced back at him, releasing a sigh, “Heeseung, prepare for the next run.” 

The next run? 

Sunghoon shook his head, “What do you mean, the next run?!” 

“I will continue to put you through the simulations until I’ve gathered enough of her,” he turned back around and typed at the keyboard, “I will bring her back.” 

Sunghoon started thrashing around again in the chair trying to get free. He couldn’t do this. Not again. He knew exactly what had to be done for the simulation to even work. He can’t do it. Refused. 

Heeseung hovered over Sunghoon, a small mechanical arm extending out of his body that came to three prongs at the end. 

No. No. No. No. 

He closed his eyes and slammed his head into the headrest, squeezing them so tight and rocking his head side to side, “No!!”

“Sunghoon,” Heeseung said, “Look at me, please.” 

He didn’t understand why, but hearing his best friend's voice…he slowly reopened his eyes. He didn’t see Heeseung, but saw multiple paper butterflies hanging from the ceiling, “Butterflies…” 

The other male looked up as well, a weak smile curled at his lips, “YN loved them,” he let out a small laugh, “She used to make these paper ones and left them all over Astra 1 for me, Jake, and Hee to find. It was a silly game of hers and I’d give anything to play it again.” He then turned and looked at him, “That’s why every time you saw a butterfly in the simulation you’d black out. It was our psyche fighting back the trauma of losing her.” 

It made sense, all of it did. Seeing the inkblot butterflies, seeing your face for the first time…Sunghoon’s eyes teared up as he looked at each butterfly. Small pieces of you are still kept alive through them. 

The real Sunghoon clenched his fists at his side, “I miss her, so fucking much,” his voice cracked with pain, and his body started to shake, “I can’t…I can’t live without her,” he smiled weakly again, rubbing the back of his hands against his eyes, “I remember meeting her like it was yesterday. We hired her based on her background. It was so impressive,” he crossed his arms over his chest, staring at the floor, “Hired her immediately. It wasn’t even a question. I didn’t fully meet her until Astra 1 was put into space. Heeseung promoted her to being the head neurologist beside him and me, of course, to help run the neuromod division and transferring of the psyche. Jake was also so impressive, it was a no-brainer why YN and him were best friends, both were so smart.” he smiled again, “Jake was obsessed with slasher films. Even created a ghost face mask out of printer paper and stole a couple of black table clothes to make a ghost face suit. The man was a nerd, but I loved him too, nevertheless.” He took a deep breath in, “YN and I always just passed each other in the hallways and barely said a word to each other when I would visit their division to check up on the neuromod progression. Always made small smiles and stole glances at each other. The attraction was there and only a matter of time before something really sparked between us both.” 

Sunghoon could feel his heart really starting to break now, hearing the way his other self spoke about you and how shakey his voice was…

“I knew I loved her the minute I saw her really smile for the first time. It was the same day she and Jake perfected the neuromods, or well, proved that it could be done. They just had a first successful trial run. And good god the way she smiled…She owned my heart then and there. Heeseung had to convince me for days to ask her out, and when I did…I couldn’t let her go after that. She became my reason for everything,” Real Sunghoon changed his facial expression to soft and sad, to hard and eager, “So I will do whatever it takes to bring her back. I don’t care how many simulations you’ll need to go through. I will continue to wipe your memory of it and shove you back in over and over again.” 

Tears now filled and fell down his face, shaking his head back and forth and started fidgeting again in the chair, pulling and licking his legs to break the restraints, “No!” he shouted, “I can’t do it!! I can’t watch her die again!” The tears flooded out now, his vision going blurry, “I promised!” he screamed, “I told her I wouldn’t forget her ever again! I told her I wouldn’t forget! I promised!” 

The real Sunghoon knelt down in front of him, cupping the sides of his face between his hands, “Shhhh,” he whispered, his own eyes filling with tears, “This needs to happen, so she can live again.” 

Sunghoon shook his head the best he could between the hands, “I love her…I can’t do it again…not again.” 

The real him gave him a sad look and then said, “Heeseung, hand me the serum so I can inject him with some and knock his ass out.” Sunghoon shook his head, seeing out of the corner of his eye, another small arm extending out of the other side of Heeseung’s bot body and reaching on the counter to grab a syringe and hand it to the real him, “I truly am sorry,” he cleared his throat and stuck the needle into the IV connected to his arm, “But I will save YN. She will be with me again.” 

Sunghoon felt himself relax, his vision slowly starting to blur. He studied his face, seeing there was no way of talking himself out of this decision. That the real him has completely lost himself, all in the name of love. All for you. 

He blinked a couple of times, trying to fight back the drowsiness but knowing he was going to fail anyway. The last thing he saw was the real Sunghoon walking away, and looking at his reflection in the window, seeing dark purple eyes staring right back at him. 

Heeseung hovered back over him, the three prongs leveling to his right eye. His vision completely blurred, and his hearing faded in and out, he heard Sunghoon say, “Reupload project Astra.” 

Then everything went dark. 

[ 𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶… ]

[ … ]

[ … ]

[ … ]

[ 𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝙿𝙰𝚂𝚂𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳 ]

[ ****** ] 

[ … ]

[ 𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺, 𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙶𝙷𝙾𝙾𝙽 ]

[ 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚆𝙾𝚄𝙻𝙳 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝚃𝙾 𝙳𝙾? ]

[ 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝙋𝙍𝙊𝙅𝙀𝘾𝙏 𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙍𝘼 ]

[ 𝙻𝙾𝙰𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶… ]

[ … ]

[ … ]

[ 𝖴𝖯𝖫𝖮𝖠𝖣 𝖯𝖱𝖮𝖩𝖤𝖢𝖳 𝖠𝖲𝖳𝖱𝖠? ]

[ 𝙔𝙀𝙎 ]

[ //𝖴𝖯𝖫𝖮𝖠𝖣𝖨𝖭𝖦… ]

[ 𝖴𝖯𝖫𝖮𝖠𝖣𝖤𝖣 ] 

[ 𝖯𝖱𝖤𝖲𝖲 𝖤𝖭𝖳𝖤𝖱 𝖳𝖮 𝖲𝖳𝖠𝖱𝖳 ]

[ 𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙍 ]

Sunghoon’s eyes fluttered open, wandering them to the glass sliding door leading out to his balcony. The morning sun shone brightly into his studio apartment. With a sigh, he pulled himself out of bed, dragging his feet across the floor towards the bathroom. Stretching out his arms and letting a small yawn leave his lips. 

He really didn’t want to go to work today.

—

thank you so much for everyone who has followed along with this series!! even tho it was short, I enjoyed every moment writing this and I hope everyone enjoyed reading it as well. thank you again for everyone’s undying support of my works!! much love!!!

intro | part one | part two

— perm. tlist: @alvojake @ikeuverse @woniebae @shawnyle @jwnghyuns

@in-somnias-world @zyvlxqht @aaa-sia @wonniethepoo @addictedtohobi

@eneiyri @skzenhalove @fakeuwus @cherry-park @vousty

@ladyartemesia @criminalyun @cmoundiamante @enhaverse713586 @wondipity

@lhsvibez @jaeyunq @rikizm @kaykay11sworld @pockettwinzz

@vixialuvs @seunghancore @enha-cafe @ppanghoon @sunpov

@zeeloveshee @hxxsxxng @moonrisearies @brownsugarbaybee @nshmrarki

@vveebee @teddybeartaetae @kookify @abysofsteel @aileeeeeeeeeeeee

@hee-lvrr @1309zip @moon0fthenight

[sterredem]

Short ‘n Sweet

Charles Leclerc x singer!reader

Face claim Sabrina Carpenter

Summary Y/n releases an album and Charles is whipped

Warning hate, slut shaming, not proofread, spelling mistakes

A/N sorry that didn’t post for a while, and that this came late, but I lost my log in.

I also made this in a day so there will be spelling mistakes.

Part 1 - Part 2

Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 3.754.754 others

Yourusername I’m going on tour!! I am so exited to bring the Short ‘n Sweer tour to north America and Europe!!!

This tour will be with special guests @amaarea @wiffygriffy & @thedeclanmckenna !!

Can’t wait to be singing with y’all soon💋

View all 22.764 comments

Instagram it’s her year😌

Charles_Leclerc Fir sure going to as many as I can

Spotify preparing ourselves now for the outros we are about to receive

User1 Hopefully it’s not to expensive 🤞🤞

User2 Excited😍

User3 please please please don’t make the tickets to expensive

User4 AAAHHHH

User5 not the article😂

User6 Can we just talk about how good she looks…?

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Instagram

Liked by gracieabrams and 5.826.826 others

Yourusername eventful

View all 7.725 comments

Charles_Leclerc gorgeous girl

Yourusername 💋

User7 wow

User8 in love

User9 not the switch😂

User10 Charles is so lucky

User11 so exited for the album!!

User12 Y/n Y/l/n the women you are

User13 😍😍😍

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Instagram

Liked by Taylorswift and 4.725.735 others

Yourusername look at you, the entire short ‘n sweet tour sold out, espresso #1 at pop radio andddd I slit down this slide :’) thank you all so much!!!

View all 12.752 comments

Taylorswift SUMMER OF Y/N AND MAY it CONTINUE FOREVER 😇

Zaralarson oh that’s queen shit

Charles_Leclerc so proud :)

User1 WOHO

User2 Taylor and Zara commenting?? She made it!

User3 she’s not our little secre eet anymore 😭

User4 overrated

User5 says you

User6 wow… just wow…

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Instagram

Liked by OliviaRodrigo and 8.735.826 others

Yourusername Short ‘n Sweet august 23rd!!!! Claim your track n tell your friends!!!

Comments are disabled

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Instagram

Liked by Charles_Leclerc and 5.725.726 others

Yourusername my give a fucks are on euhhh how do u say

View all 9.625 comments

Charles_Leclerc Cute girl

Yourusername pretty boy

Gracieabrams wow, cutie

User7 She looks so good tho…

User8 awww… leoooo

User9 I love her and Charles

User10 I’m jealous of everyone in this photo dump

User11 you just see her glowing from happiness, she deserves it after her shitty ex

User12 I’m curious if any of the new songs are about Charles or her ex

User13 pastaaaaa

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Instagram

Liked Yourusername and 3.835.735 others

Charles_Leclerc flying ears and swimming fast

View all 8.736 comments

Yourusername who’s that handsome man?

Charles_Leclerc who’s that gorgeous girl?

Carlossainz55 cute

Landonorris whipped man, whipped

Pierregasly why wasn’t I invited?

Gracieabrams bring her back please

User1 Oh?? Y/n made it to the instagram!

User2 Charles be like 🧍

User3 Y/n looks so good and Charles is also there

User4 Leo is so cuteeee

User5 He looks so hot

User6 power couple fr

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Instagram

Liked by laufey and 5.725.835 others

Yourusername some shots for you before Short ‘n Sweet comes outtt

View all 9.725 comments

Charles_Leclerc Wow……… beautiful

Bsfuser I see myself!

Laufey cutie

User7 she knows she’s hot

User8 can’t wait for the album!

User9 speechless

User10 I love supportive bf Charles

User11 she is only so famous because of how she looks

User12 stfu. Saying that doesn’t make you cool

User13 sexyyyy

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked gracieabrams and 3.254.164 others

Yourusername taste me!

View all 6.643 comments

User1 WHO IS THAT ON THE LAST SLIDE??!!

User2 Funeral?? Who’s in the last pic??

User3 she things she can distract us with the 1st pic but it won’t work!!

User4 it worked on me

User5 slut!

User6 listen to all because I liked a big my love. Just cause you have a man crush on Charles doesn’t mean that she is a slut

User7 OH?!

|———————————<3—————————————|

Instagram

Liked by jennaortega and 4.735.735 others

Yourusername Short ‘n Sweet is officially yours now!!!

I feel so lucky that u het to write and sing songs for my job, and I love that you all listen to it!

This is a project that is very close to my heart, I have worked on it through different periods of my life, an do am delighted to share it with you all!

Thank you to my brilliant talented friend that helped me produce, write and record this. And an extra special thank you to my lovely boyfriend Charles fir helping me with the piano on these songs!

I love you all and I hope that you enjoy this!💋🩵

View all 13.725 comments

Jennaortega your mind ❤️!

Charles_Leclerc amazing!🩵❤️

User8 short ‘n sweet = no skips

User9 Y/N YOUVE DONE IT AGAIN!

User10 Love the album already!!

User11 MOTHER IS MOTGERING!!

User12 Bed chem? Dumb and poetic?? Juno??? Slim pickins???? Amazing!!!

User13 I love all the songs!!!!!!

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Instagram

Liked by Oliviarodrigo and 7.836.836 others

Yourusername Taste btssss. The music video for taste is out now!!

View all 9.735 comments

OliviaRodrigo Hot hot hot

Charles_Leclerc I’m there!

User1 AHAAAAAAHHHHH

User2 JENNA!!

User3 Charles being in yet another music video is amazing!!

User4 Charles is now in 3 music videos!

User5 wait… which ones? I thought only 2 now

User4 Feather, please please please, and now taste!

User6 OMG!!

User7 Masterpiece!!

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Instagram

Liked by Yourusername and 4.825.735 others

Charles_Leclerc My sweet girl just released a new album!! Go stream Short ‘n Sweet!!

View all 12.725 comments

Yourusername I LOVE YOU!!💋💋❤️❤️

Landonorris As I said, whipped

Carlossainz55 You won mate

User8 CUTEEE

User9 Love supportive bf!!

User10 you’re a lucky man Charles…

User11 is bed Chen about you???

User12 …Wow…

User13 I love you twoooo

|———————————<3—————————————|

Also this will be the last part of this series: so this is the end. Maybe I will put one last small smau in it with a paddock appearance and the vma’s but that is if someone is interested. So let me know!!

[conswayo]

DUDE HOW DO U WHIP OUT ANIMATICS AND LIKE. ART IN GENERAL SO QUICKLY AKSHDFAKSHDF

AND ITS SO FUCKING GOOD TOO HOWWWWW

THE IDEAS, LIGHTING RENDERING AND COMPOSITION ARE PEAK TOO

pls teach us ur ways art god 😔🙏

(im very interested in ur rendering+animation process hehe)

WAHHHH TYSMMM :3 heh…ill let you have a little look at how i make my animatics blaauuhhhh

i use both procreate and capcut, with a canvas of 3000 x 1688 (the usual 16:9 ratio for youtube videos) and most of the animatic songs originally came from the shiguang playlist i made on spotify!!! (https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4F15CrHoQICJ6V28QTmd87?si=qQewTzAQTM-357m8g7oGEA&pi=e-9-nO-2LZSNi2 discreetly slides link over)

i also use the brush gel pen for most drawings!!!! u can find it in the ‘inking’ section ^_^

i usually have a hard time visualizing things in my head, so most of the animatics you see are just kind of made up on the spot Or i make a quick storyboard at the start :p

(heres an example for the cut that always bleeds animatic!!!)

u can usually see which animatics have an initial storyboard since the composition is a little neater (broken time, im your man, the exit) compared to the ones that were made on the spot (like him, class of 2013, and all the rest basically)

the animatics usually take 9-12 hours from planning, drawing, editing and typography!!! The longest it took for me the complete an animatic was probably the im your man animatic(20 hours) and the shortest being my september or i can fit two

i often dont have a set palette or colour for a video, i just kind of go along with the energy of the song….yellows and blues are v prominent in my process tho considering those are the primary colours for shiguang hehe

i use these graphs for the in-out movements for my animatics(the little smooth transitions)!!! ive been using these more rather than frame by frame animation because doing that makes me die a little inside

ive made around 13 link click animatics so far, and im not planning on stopping!!!!! (｡+･`ω･´)