#MAYBE SEEING THE DECLINE OF MY PARENTS HAS AFFECTED ME

[tranquilreign]

hi can i request a female reader x jk angst? the plot is jk's wife passed away like a year~2 years ago but he never moved on bcs he loves her so much maybe she's his first love?? but he's a well-known ceo so his family cant afford public seeing jk weak or it will affect their business, so they arranged his marriage with reader, a daughter of their business partner. jk always ignore her in their marriage but she never stops trying, but at one point jk did something that hurts her so she ran away and plan to divorce.. thats when jk realise how bad he's been treating her.. sorry for being too specific, u can change anything as u like 😭🙏🏻 i'm hoping for a happy ending but after jk has suffered LMAO anyways thank u so much in advance if u could write this request 🥹🫶🏻

without you | requested oneshot

- © tranquilreign - all rights reserved | DO NOT STEAL, TAKE, or COPY any of MY WORK without MY PERMISSION.

🗒 details

pairing; jungkook/reader genre: angst, fluff, arranged marriage au! ceo au! warnings: loss, swearing, slight neglect, arranged marriage word count: 4.2k

🖋 synopsis

without (pre.) wuh·thowt in the absence of

when jungkook's image begins to crumble due to the loss of his wife, his family force him into an arranged marriage to keep their strong influence.

🖇links

jungkook masterlist main masterlist request | request rules prompt list

Jeon Jungkook. CEO of Golden Closet Corporations. A powerful, wealthy man. But broken. The news of his wife's death spread like wildfire when it was confirmed. He couldn't escape the images of his wife's face. She was everywhere he looked.

Being who he was, Jungkook couldn't properly grieve. Maintaining the perfect, pristine image as CEO. Though months passed by, Jungkook stayed the same. Stoic, unhappy. His employees had noticed the cracks first.

The way he would stay in his office for hours, claiming he was working, when in fact he was weeks behind. Lashing out at employees and even trashing his own office at one point.

Rumours quickly spread throughout the building, then into the press about Jungkook's behaviour. Contracts were cut, and new connections were declined due to Jungkooks state.

Eventually, his family had to get involved, turning up unannounced one evening at his home. Jungkook reluctantly let them in, letting them walk into the living room to sit down.

The house wasn't as clean as it used to be. Dirty dishes sat piled in the sink with the dishwasher open, showing clean dishes that hadn't been put away. The lights and table surfaces were dusty, something which Jungkook typically hated. It made his parents cringe at his lack of hygiene.

"Son," Jungkook's father began, leaning forward on the couch, elbows resting on his knees.

His eyes were stern, disapproving of his son's behaviour. Jungkook would usually shrink at his father's gaze, but he was numb. No amount of dissatisfaction he felt from his father fazed him. His own disappointment in himself clouded that.

"Kookie," his mother spoke faintly, moving to place her hand on his knee.

He looked at her, his eyes filled with nothing. Empty. She squeezed his knee reassuringly, but the look in her eyes told a different story. She was looking at him apologetically, which confused Jungkook. His eyes moved back to his father.

"Your past actions are having a severe impact on the company. On us," Jungkook's father explained.

Jungkook scoffed.

"Is that what you are here to talk to me about? My reputation. Your reputation," Jungkook snapped. "In case you've forgotten, my wife-" he paused, feeling the lump in his throat.

"Yes, we know. Your wife died... a year and a half ago," his father brushed off.

"What your father means to say-" his mother responded quickly. "Is that we know you are going through a difficult time, but lashing out at your employees isn't helping you."

Jungkook huffed, leaning back in his seat, looking out the window, staring at the city skyline. He remembered how he would sit with his wife, watching the sunset together as he held her close. He would whisper sweet nothings into her ear, embracing her in a long, loving kiss, as the sun sank behind the skyscrapers.

"You're getting married."

Jungkook's head shot round, now glaring at his father. How could he be expected to remarry when he hadn't even been given the chance to properly grieve his wife?

"No."

The two men stared at one another, silently challenging each other. Their gazes were intense, the atmosphere making Jungkook's mother shift in her seat uncomfortably. Jungkook's jaw clenched at his father, who wasn't backing down.

"If you don't remarry-" his father paused, "we'll take everything away from you. Your position, your home. We'll take every memory you have with your wife out of this house away from you."

Jungkook's eyes softened. He had built a life with the woman he loved in this home. It was their dream house, exactly how they wanted it. He couldn't give it up, letting go of all those memories. He would never see her again in his dreams, the only time he felt truly at peace.

"That's what I thought," his father spoke, tone low. Jungkook's head hung, staring at the floor.

His mother made a move to comfort him, but was stopped by her husband. They stood, making a move to leave the house.

"Will you at least tell me whom I am to marry?" Jungkook asked, looking up at his parents.

His father turned around, his grip on his wife's hand loosened, letting it drop to her side. She looked at her son with sorrowful eyes, wishing nothing more than to see her son happy again.

"Her name is Y/n L/n. She is the daughter of a rival company, but through this marriage, we will unite under one name."

His father walked out of the apartment, leaving Jungkook's mother as she looked at her helpless son.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," she soothed. "I know this isn't what you wanted, or what you'd ever want. But please, at least try."

Jungkook's eyes stung from the tears that rolled down his cheeks. His mother's heart broke at the sight, wanting nothing more than to embrace her son and reassure him that everything would be okay.

With one final goodbye, she left, leaving him completely and utterly alone.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Jungkook stood silently at the altar, the crowd muttering amongst themselves as they waited for the ceremony to start. The CEO unknowingly fiddled with his watch, feeling exposed. His father had made sure to make this a large, extravagant wedding, which was against Jungkook's wishes.

"It's to make a statement, Jungkook. Showing the world that we've made peace with our rivals."

At that moment, the crowd quietened down as the music picked up. Jungkook looked at the double doors at the back of the room. His mind wandered back to the day when his wife walked through similar doors, her face hidden by her veil. But he knew she would be beautiful. She always was.

He smiled slightly, expecting his wife to be behind the doors. Knowing it was too good to be true, his smile faltered back into his stoic expression. The doors opened, revealing a woman.

In her hands, she held a stunning arrangement of white tulips and roses, elegantly spaced among each other. Her dress was beautiful, featuring off-the-shoulder sleeves that showcased her radiant skin. It struck the perfect balance between lace and silk. Small rhinestones adorned the dress, creating an ombre effect that cascaded from the bodice to the floor.

Her face was not hidden behind a veil; instead, her hair was styled delicately, with a few curled strands falling down the sides and framing her face. Her chest rose and fell quickly, clearly indicating her nervousness.

Jungkook locked eyes with you, noting your innocence. But you still smiled at him, appreciating his presence. Jungkook hesitantly held out his hand to you when you reached the altar, which you gladly took.

Gracefully, you lifted your dress, making sure not to tread on the expensive fabrics as you ascended the stairs. You stood in front of Jungkook now, looking between him and the priest to your left.

Jungkook stood, imagining it was his deceased wife in front of him, hoping there was some escape in this nightmare.

"Mr. Jeon?" the priest asked.

The man looked at the priest, then at you. You were looking around, biting your lip nervously.

"Do you take Y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Jungkook hesitated for a moment, the tension in the room growing thicker as the silence continued. He closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

"Yes. I do," he replied dryly.

You let out the breath you didn't realise you had been holding. You had responded immediately to the priest's question, smiling reassuringly at Jungkook.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Jungkook didn't hesitate, wanting this to be over with. He pulled you in by the waist and kissed you. It was short, with no passion lingering in his touch. He pulled away, both of you turning to the guests who clapped excitedly for you.

You tried to slide your hand into his, but he retracted. He had eventually moved it into yours as he escorted you out of the hall and into the street, which was bustling with reporters and paparazzi.

All questions were ignored as he guided you to the limousine, opening the door and indicating for you to get in. You compiled, the flashing of the cameras beginning to bother your eyes. Jungkook moved around to the other side, quickly getting in. The vehicle sped off, leaving the reporters and guests behind.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

The after party was uneventful, parents and friends giving speeches, dancing and drinking. You and Jungkook hadn't had anything to drink, growing uncomfortable in the growing silence between the two of you.

When you had made it back to his place, Jungkook tugged his tie off and threw his jacket onto the couch. He sighed, his head falling back, the realisation finally sinking in. You had been arranged to live with him.

"Take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," he muttered.

Jungkook didn't want to disrespect the loving nights he shared with his past wife. It was their bed, and he wouldn't ruin those memories by having another woman beside him.

"Are you sure? I can take the couch instead," you suggested.

You were well aware of Jungkook's loss. Having seen the rumours in the news about his behaviour and coldness. You knew he would never love you and that there would be no way you could replace his previous wife. But you wanted to try and make things as easy for him as possible.

"No. What kind of gentleman would I be if I let you sleep on the couch?"

You hummed in response, bowing a quick thank you to him, then disappeared into the bathroom. Your belongings had been moved in the previous day, while you and Jungkook's families were sorting the final few details of the wedding.

You gently took off your makeup and did your regular skin-care routine. Sliding your dress off your body, you changed into pyjamas and draped your wedding dress over your left arm.

Leaving the bathroom, you took notice of Jungkook, who was still in his suit, shoes now kicked off, lying down on the couch, watching as the sun set. You slowly approached him, sitting down on the chair to his left and looked out at the city.

"I'm sorry," you spoke softly.

Jungkook didn't look at you, making no movement or sound to indicate that he acknowledged your words. You continued nonetheless.

"I know this isn't what you wanted. And I am deeply sorry for the loss of your wife."

Jungkook stiffened at your words. No one had given him an ounce of sympathy since she had passed. It felt strange, unnatural, now receiving that comfort.

"I also know I will never be her. And I won't try to be her either," you paused. "But please know, I will do my best to make your life comfortable and happy."

For the first time since the ceremony, he looked at you. He said nothing, eyes almost empty. You caught a slight sliver of appreciation for your words. He then moved, lying on his back and closing his eyes. You took that as your cue to leave.

"Good night," you whispered, standing up and making your way over to the bedroom.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

A few months had passed since you had been wed. Not much had changed; Jungkook was still quiet and barely acknowledged your presence. But he showed his appreciation for you being there for him in small ways.

Whether it was bringing home take-out for both of you when you'd had a long day. Or when he would silently run a bath for you when he had noticed you rubbing your shoulders in discomfort.

The awkwardness had eased between you, but sometimes it was still there. You never knew what exactly to say to him. He wore the same stoic expression, never once smiling or becoming angry.

You had awoken early one morning, yawning and climbing out of bed, and groggily walking into the kitchen. You glanced at the clock ticking away quietly on the tiled wall. 5:00 am.

Jungkook slept peacefully on the couch, still refusing to share a room with you. Yet you had often caught him in your supposed shared bedroom. He would gently graze the bedsheets with his fingertips, memories of his passed wife easing into his mind. It was the only time you'd truly see him at peace.

Jungkook inhaled the sweet scent of bacon, the aroma waking him up from his slumber. He groaned slightly, sitting up on the couch and looking around the room. Turning in his seat, he looked at you, his eyes still foggy.

"Good morning," you mused, giving him a gentle smile.

"Mina?"

Your smile faltered, turning back around to flip the bacon in the pan. Jungkook stood up, rubbing his eyes. Realisation came to him when he finally saw it was you in the kitchen, not the woman he loved so dearly. He cursed under his breath.

"Sorry."

"It's fine," you mumbled in response. "Like I said, I will never be her, or try to be her. I have no expectations from you."

Your words, for some reason, hurt Jungkook's heart. He was confused by the feeling growing in his chest. Shaking it off, he shuffled over to the island table in the kitchen and sat down at one of the seats.

"Mina used to make me this," he sighed, looking at the display before him.

Pancakes sat in the middle of the table, with an assortment of fruits and nuts, all in separate bowls. A glass jug of orange juice sat to his left, which Jungkook made a grab for immediately. He poured himself a glass, then looked around for yours.

"Are you not eating?" he asked.

"Hmm?" you asked, in a moment of confusion. "Oh, no. I'm not hungry."

Jungkook eyed you warily, watching you closely. You turned around, scooping the bacon out of the pan and placing it on his plate. He looked down, and it was exactly how he liked it.

"Thank you."

"It's alright. I won't make it again, though, if it was something Mina did. I don't want you to think-"

"No," Jungkook suddenly responded, taking both of you aback. "I appreciate you doing this for me. Please don't stop, if it's something you enjoy making."

A gentle smile graced your features as you sat down opposite him. You watched him eat, looking at his messy hair and baggy t-shirt. As time passed, with you and Jungkook living together, you had slowly begun to develop feelings for him.

You would never act on those feelings, however. Knowing Jungkook would never accept you. The loss of his wife still affected him so deeply to the point he still dreamt of her, and even envisioned her in the house.

You stretched, stepped out of your seat. Jungkook looked up from his food and couldn't help but stare at the way your t-shirt rode up, exposing a little bit of your stomach. He swallowed and looked away, scolding himself for his wandering eyes.

"Do you have any plans today?" you asked suddenly, moving out from the kitchen and to the living room, picking up the discarded pillows on the floor.

"No," Jungkook responded blankly. "You?"

"I was planning on doing some cleaning," you responded, fluffing the pillows that now sat on the couch. "I typically do it while you are at work, but I was so tired yesterday..." you trailed off, a slight blush spreading across your cheeks.

"Do you want me to help?"

You were surprised by his offer, not expecting him to want to help. You shook your head, holding up your hands and waving them in the air.

"No, no. It's alright, you just relax. I shouldn't be too long anyway," you explained sheepishly.

Jungkook finished the last of his food and picked up the empty plates. He moved over to the sink on the other side of the island, turning on the tap.

"At least let me do the dishes. It's the least I can do for you, making me breakfast," he spoke, his tone soft.

It was the first time he had sounded... human. It was surprising. You smiled at him and nodded, confirming his request.

"I'll start in the bedroom. If you need anything, just give me a shout," you said. "Excuse me."

You walked in behind him, trying to squeeze past him. You accidentally tripped, stumbling over your feet. Jungkook was quick to react, his arms wrapped around your waist, halting your fall. You jerked at the sudden stop, turning your head to look at him. Both of you held eye contact for a moment until he let out a grunt, helping you stand back upright.

"Thank you. Sorry."

"It's fine," Jungkook muttered shyly.

You bent down next to him, opening the bottom cupboard door and grabbing the feather duster. Instead of trying to squeeze past him again, you walked in the opposite direction around the island and into the bedroom.

Quietly, you hummed to yourself, dusting away and moving anything that could get in the way or get knocked over. You silently cursed to yourself when you had elbowed a small box off the bookshelf.

You bent down to pick it up, stopping when you noticed the contents had spilt out. A beautiful emerald ring encased in silver glittered against the sunlight. Carefully, you picked it up and examined it. It was beautiful.

You moved to pick up the box, and you placed it onto the set of drawers in front of the bed. Looking at it one more time, you were about to put it back in its box when Jungkook's voice boomed throughout the room.

"What the fuck are you doing!?"

You spun on the spot, stunned by his sudden tone. He was angry. With no hesitation, he stormed over to you and snatched the box and ring from you.

"I-I'm sorry," you stuttered out. "I accidentally knocked-"

"Shut the fuck up."

You fell silent. His glare didn't once leave you as he pocketed the box, ring now inside. He grabbed you by the arms tightly. You winced.

"Jungkook, you're hurting me."

"You will never touch that again. Do you hear me?!" he spat, his grip continuing to tighten until a scream escaped your lips.

In that moment, Jungkook felt his world crash down around him. He panicked, letting you go. You fell to the ground, holding your arms, trying to ease the pain.

"Fuck... Y/n, I'm so sorry," he went to move towards you, but you slid away from him, fear evident in your eyes.

Tears fell down your cheeks as you moved as far away as you could from him, your back hitting the wall when you could move no further. He ran both of his hands through his hair, fear and frustration clouding his mind.

He hurt you.

"I'm- I'm sorry," he breathed, backing away. "So... so sorry."

He ran for it, grabbing his jacket and leaving the house, the door creating a loud slam as he did so.

You sat back flush against the wall, exhaling in relief. You had never seen Jungkook so angry, and it terrified you. Based on his reaction, it must have been Mina's engagement ring, something which was clearly precious to Jungkook.

"That's gonna bruise," you muttered, examining your arms as you slowly stood up.

Grabbing the discarded feather duster, you shuffled back into the kitchen, putting it away. The ache in your arms was still evident, and in that moment, you decided that a bath was probably the best way to ease the pain.

⊱ ────── {⋅. ♪ .⋅} ────── ⊰

Jungkook continued to run, the hard rain hitting against his face. He couldn't believe what he had just done. He put his hands on you. To hurt you. He wanted to hurt you. Because you had touched something precious to him. Something you weren't allowed to touch.

He stopped, catching his breath. He cried, not knowing what to do. Jungkook knew you weren't going to do anything with the ring. But the sight of you looking at it had him see red.

He leaned against the railings in the park, staring out at the pond, its usually still water disturbed by the pattering of the rain. Thunder crashed as the sky continued to darken, Jungkook's already soaked hair beginning to stick to his neck and face.

Jungkook had to make this right. He pushed himself off the railing and sprinted back to the apartment, praying you weren't already packing your things to leave him.

He pushed himself, lungs burning as they begged for breath, but he didn't stop. Turning the last corner to the street where you lived, he slid. He lost his breath, pitching forward and catching himself with his hands on the ground. He stumbled forward, eventually balancing out when he regained himself.

He barged into the apartment, not caring that he was leaving water all over the floor. He glanced around the room, looking for any sight of you. Running to the bedroom, his eyes widened when he saw the suitcase that sat on the bed, with clothes laid out.

"Y/n!" he shouted, between panting breaths.

No response. Without thinking, he turned to the bathroom, starting his search for you there.

You let out a high-pitched scream when Jungkook suddenly burst through the door. You move to cover yourself with your hands, trying to hide the most desirable parts of you.

"What the hell, Jungkook," you squeaked.

Your head was resting on your knees, which were tucked up against your chest. You were looking right at him, eyes blown wide at the circumstance you both were now in.

The sight before Jungkook didn't bother him. Instead, he dropped to his knees and shuffled towards you. He plunged his hand into the hot water, pulling your hand out and holding it in his.

"Please, don't leave Y/n," he begged, his head bowed as he did so.

"What-"

"Please. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here. You've helped me through so much. You have shown me kindness and that you care about me."

You were dumbstruck, unsure of the situation at hand. Had Jungkook hit his head while he was out? You didn't know, but you were more confused than ever.

"Jungkook, who said I was leaving?" you asked, lifting your head up.

Jungkook's head shot up, looking at you with tears in his eyes. He stuttered over his words, trying to find a way to explain his thought process. He stopped when his eyes wandered to your arm, a bruise beginning to form from where he grabbed you.

"I'm so sorry," he breathed, lifting your arm closer to him.

He planted a soft kiss against the bruise, his actions taking you by surprise. Jungkook pulled away, gently running his thumb over the injury, ashamed of his actions. He promised himself, from then on, that he would love and protect you. Forever.

In that moment, it was as if Jungkook had an epiphany. In the recent days of your relationship, whenever he closed his eyes, he thought he saw Mina. The love of his life.

Instead, he was seeing you. Smiling and holding out your hand for him to take. As if Jungkook was dreaming, he looked behind him, seeing Mina holding his other hand, caressing his knuckles lovingly.

"Go to her," Mina whispered. "Be happy again."

For the first time, after so long, Jungkook smiled, looking up at you. You raised an eyebrow, confused at his sudden reaction, but your heart warmed at his smile.

Jungkook moved his hands to cup your face. You stared at him, unsure of what he was doing. He didn't think, moving forward and pulling you into a soft, gentle kiss.

You immediately melted into him, closing your eyes, manoeuvring around in the bath so you faced him. His touch was warm, moving from your face to your jaw, holding you delicately, passion exploding between the two of you.

You were the first to pull away, moving your arm back around to cover your chest. Jungkook kept his eyes shut, panting softly. He felt warm, happy, something he had yearned for, for so long.

"It's taken me so long to realise," Jungkook whispered.

He placed his forehead against yours, opening his eyes and looking at you lovingly.

"That you are what I needed. Who I needed. You've helped me see, helped me realise that Mina wouldn't want me to grieve. To push everyone away."

You smiled at his words, moving away from him. He took your free hand in his, running his thumb over the back of your hand softly.

"I love you, Y/n," he breathed.

It was as if the world had stopped spinning. You looked at Jungkook, whose eyes held every emotion he had seemed to have forgotten long ago. Tears welled in your eyes, your hand squeezing his reassuringly.

"I love you, too."

hello guys! hope you enjoyed! this one felt rather long so i am sorry for that! and to the lovely person who requested. thank you so much!! you are the first to have requested and I really appreciate you doing so!

this was so much fun to write, despite it being sad, but it truly was a blast! i do hope this is what you had in mind when you requested. when I saw your ask this type of story immediately came to mind! i do hope that is okay!

tranquilreign~

[russo-woso]

First appointment

Y/N has her first appointment and sees her baby for the first time

4 weeks 5 days

After confirming with the clinic that the pregnancy test was positive, they insisted you came in and had a scan done so they knew you were definitely pregnant.

Clearly a sixteen year old who was just starting her career was lying about being pregnant.

You were going to decline the offer, not wanting to step foot in that place again but your lawyer had told you it was a good idea and could be used as evidence later on.

It still took a bit of reassurance from Leah and your mum but eventually you agreed.

Everything was still up in arms. The clinic were still blaming it all on the system error but you found out that the doctor that did the procedure should have clarified your name and age before starting.

You had spent many nights crying into your pillow, the stress from everything affecting you greatly.

Leah had been your rock though. Every night she’s climb into your bed, stroking your hair as you fell asleep.

After seeing how worked up you had gotten yourself because of the legal side of things, Leah decided to keep it away from you.

You no longer knew what was happening and instead, Leah and your parents were the lead case handlers.

Leah had tried to sit you down a few times and ask if you had decided to keep it or not but every time you didn’t have an answer.

It wasn’t a simple choice.

You felt a small connection to the baby, it was your blood, it was your baby. However, your career was just starting and you couldn’t afford to be out for a year.

But you could imagine a future with a baby, with your baby.

“Kiddo, you ready to go?” Leah asked, pulling you out of your thoughts as she walked into your room.

You reluctantly nodded, just a small and swift movement that Leah barely saw.

“Look at me, kiddo. I know it’s scary going back, but I’ll be there with you the whole time.” Leah reassured you, crouching down in front of you and taking your hands in hers.

Your sister was your safe place, the person you go to whenever things get hard so having her there definitely made it that little bit less daunting.

“I can always reschedule it for another day.” Leah suggested but you shook your head.

“I’d rather get it over and done with.”

“Okay then, kid. Come on then.”

Leah wrapped her arm round you as you walked out your room, offering that bit of support and comfort.

“You go sit down, I’ll sign you in.” Leah said, going your separate ways as you walked to the waiting room and Leah going to reception.

“That didn’t take long. The receptionist said that you’ve got a completely different doctor today.”

You hummed, too lost in your thoughts to respond.

“Le?” You began, Leah turning to face you waiting for you to continue. “If I do have the baby, will you kick me out? Because the baby will cry and I don’t want you not getting any sleep and then—”

“Woah, woah, kiddo calm down. Of course I’m not going to kick you out. You’re my baby sister, Y/N. This isn’t your fault and I’m not going to let you think it is. The baby is my niece or nephew and I’ll love it just as much as I love you. Maybe even a tiny bit more if it doesn’t have your attitude. But there’s no way I’m kicking you out.” Leah explained, resting a hand on your leg that bounced with nerves.

There was a moment of silence before your name was called by a doctor.

Leah helped you up, both of you walking to the side room.

Inside was a bed with a few chairs and a tv on the wall connected to a monitor.

“I’ve looked back at your files and the embryo would have fertilised four and a half weeks ago so you might not be able to see much, if anything, on the scan but I will be able to see the amniotic sack which will confirm you are pregnant. Am I okay to just lift your shirt?” The doctor asked and you nodded, pulling up the shirt yourself.

She applied some gel before turning the monitor on.

Your eyes focused on the screen in front of you, the doctor now moving a probe along your lower abdomen.

You reached for Leah’s hand, wanting to know she was close.

“I’m here, bubba.” She whispered quietly, clearly seeing how nervous you were.

“It’s very early but I can see the baby just there.” The doctor said, pointing to a tiny, barely visible dot on the screen.

“That’s your baby.” Leah told you quietly, her voice sounding emotional as she spoke.

“The amniotic sack is surrounding it and the lining of your uterus has thickened so you are definitely pregnant. The measurements of your uterus are looking all good. At this moment in time, I haven’t got much to tell you in regard to the embryo. Now, due to the circumstances, I have to ask you a question that may be a bit of a difficult one to answer. I can wait a few days for a response so there’s no rush or no need to answer straight away. We can offer you an abortion if you want. The baby’s still small enough to do an abortion.” The doctor explained, still keeping the prong on your abdomen.

Your eyes kept glued to the screen in front of you, more specifically at the tiny blob.

You kept quiet, gathering your thoughts before taking a deep breath in.

“I think I want to keep it.”

You felt Leah’s hand squeeze yours.

“Yeah, I want to keep it.” You repeated, sending a firm nod to the doctor.

“Okay. I can print some pictures for you and then when you head out, could you sign the sheet declaring you’ve declined our offer of an abortion?”

You nodded, pulling your shirt down and sitting up.

“Are you sure you want this?” Leah questioned

“I want this. I mean, sometimes you’re a bit boring so at least I’d have someone else around.” You joked, sending her a small smirk as you stood up.

“I hope this baby doesn’t get your cheek. I don’t think I could cope with two of you.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad.” You defended yourself, playfully shoving Leah.

“You’re not that bad.” Leah admitted, pulling you in for a side hug. “I’m proud of you, kiddo.”

“Thanks, le. I don’t think I would’ve said yes if you weren’t gonna be there.” You revealed, hugging your sister tightly.

“Right. There are the pictures from the ultrasound. I’ll lead you to reception.” The doctor said, handing you five small pictures before opening the door and leading you out.

You signed the paperwork before finally leaving the building.

“You jump in the car and I’ll call mum and tell her how it went.” Leah told you whilst you jumped in the passenger seat.

You stared at the pictures in your hand - the tiny blob evident in all of them.

“We’ll get through this won’t we blob?”

[millerflintstone]

I realized a couple of weeks ago that most of the little hairs that won't cooperate/fit in my bun are actually new growth and not breakage. I've had a lot of body stressors and life stress that I think have caused hair loss over the years. I've noticed that I'm not stressed here in NM like I felt in GA. I haven't been doing anything focused to my hair so maybe it's just growth due to lack of stress? IDK.

This ties into where my brain was yesterday. I was thinking about my life since 2017 while waiting for my scans at the imaging center. More about that under the cut. The TL;DR is that I'm way more relaxed and feeling better in NM vs GA.

2017 was the year I had a fairly large cyst adhere to my uterus and overtake my right ovary. I had surgery to remove that ovary and my right fallopian tube in the summer.

That December, I had my first mammogram. I had to come back for a diagnostic mammogram followed by an ultrasound which was then followed by a needle biopsy on my right side. Those results came back with guidance for me to schedule a wire-guided biopsy to remove the questionable area under general anesthesia. That happened the following March. That was two surgeries in 7 months.

The need for the wire-guided biopsy and the possible diagnosis stressed me out so badly that it affected my kitty, Gigabyte. My stress caused her stress that inflamed her bladder. No UTI was found but her vet ultrasounded her tummy and saw how inflamed her bladder was. Isn't that nuts? It's called Feline Idiopathic Cystitis. Gigabyte also pulled some of her tail fur out due to stress.

Then in 2019, I was struggling with crazy periods that were lasting for weeks. Since endometriosis was found in 2017, The suspected issue was that it was actually within the uterine muscle. That is called adenomyosis. A hysterectomy was recommended, so I scheduled it while being apprehensive about it. I'm glad I didn't change my mind, but it really weighed on me. That takes us to 3 surgeries in 3 consecutive years.

Work that year was insane. I actually even scheduled my hysterectomy around the project schedule. Crazy in retrospect and just crazy.

At my pre-op appointment, my gynecologist was looking through things and realized that some blood work had never been done and that an endometrial biopsy had never been done. They were able to do all the things that same day. That biopsy was ridiculously painful. Worse than anything IUD related.

Later that same day I got news that my sister died of a sudden heart attack. She and my mom were in Guatemala. I couldn't travel to them until I had healed up from surgery. That wasn't until March of 2020.

Then there was the start of the pandemic lock downs and almost getting trapped in Guatemala. If I had scheduled our return flight one day later, who knows when we would've returned back to GA.

Then there was more work stress, our parents dying just from old age/health crap, and job snafus including me not working full time for about a year. Unfriendly's bout with COVID really affected him. He still needs an inhaler at times. Gigabyte's decline was too rough. I can't even think about it without crying, still. And then we finally sold the GA house last year and moved to NM.

It's been a lot. The more recent stuff I glossed over but it certainly has been difficult without even taking into account our current political reality.

But I do feel better here. We lived in orange idiot country. I didn't realize how inundated we were with that crap over there. It was the norm for the area. Taking in the knowledge so many around me maybe didn't even consider me to be valid/human and living in that daily really wears on you. I barely see anything here.

And the beauty of this area? I'm hooked.

[yanderes-galore]

Hii!! Could I get Hiccup haddock with your prompts 2, 28, and 33?

These prompts so so interesting because it implies a more manipulative/dishonest Yandere Hiccup... which I plan to have fun writing >:) I have this set to female darling in my notes so I guess I'll just go with it, lol?

Yandere! Hiccup Prompts 2, 28, 33

"It's an honor for someone such as me to take you in and love you!"

"Do you know how hard it is to wear a facade? Just to get people to like you?"

"You ever think of our future children like I do?"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, MATURE THEMES (but nothing too graphic) Takes place after HTTYD 2, Obsession, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Deceptive Hiccup, Threats implied, Mentions of baby fever, Hiccup wants kids, Strange displays of affection, You're both married, Implications of mature themes, Some graphic kissing/biting I guess, Dubious relationship.

You had a feeling Hiccup wasn't being honest with you. Before you got married he was kind and polite. He cared for you and acted like a partner should.

You were happy to accept his marriage proposal.

Then you started to notice certain behavior from him after all the vows were said and done. Hiccup changed once you were married. Once you were his wife... you thought you didn't recognize your husband.

He was still gentle and kind around you, all smiles and kisses. But soon an uncharacteristic possessive behavior began to brew within him. You could see it in his clouded eyes.

It was easy for Hiccup to intimidate those around him. As Berk's Chief with a loyal Night Fury, safe to say most back off from you with one glare. Hiccup never used to be so threatening before you married.

Yet now you catch his facade slipping at times, revealing a darker attitude underneath his usual one.

Has he lied to you this entire time? Has he lied to everyone this entire time?

You thought you could tolerate it. Maybe he's just stressed due to his new role of chief? Then the yearning for children started.

You notice his touches often drift to your stomach. He leans himself against you and kneads the flesh of your stomach softly while kissing you. You could tell these were all hints.

If you didn't understand it before, he outright told you as you were getting ready for bed tonight.

"Hey..." He whispers to you as you prepare yourself to sleep. "You ever think of our future children like I do?"

The question was expected but still managed to catch you off guard. You glance at your husband for a moment, unsure what to say. Eventually you sigh, you don't trust this new side of Hiccup.

"I don't think we're ready to be parents." You admit, Hiccup going silent at your words for a moment. It's as if he wasn't expecting you to decline.

"What do you mean? Of course we're ready! We're at a good age, I'm chief of Berk... what's making you have second thoughts?" Hiccup asks, standing up from the shared bed.

"It scares me that you haven't noticed." You admit, turning to face the man you once married so willingly. "You've changed, Hiccup."

"Changed?" The viking questions before chuckling softly. "Oh, you poor dear..."

Hiccup's tone takes a noticeable shift. You take note of the darker tone and go to say something, but instead Hiccup wraps his arms around you. You're pulled against his chest, his lips ghosting your ear.

"Do you know how hard it is to wear a facade? Just to get people to like you?" Hiccup whispers in your ear, grip tightening. "I'm tired of playing nice when my wife is having other men talk to her."

He kisses your cheek softly, but you notice his lips travel lower over time. Your breathing picks up, you can't tell if it's due to fear... or if you like what he's doing. This definitely wasn't the Hiccup you knew...

"It's an honor for someone such as me to take you in and love you..." Hiccup continues, nipping your skin occasionally. "I chose you to be my wife, to watch over Berk by my side...."

He pulls down your collar ever so slightly, before shifting his attention to your lips. He adores the blush on your face. Maybe you did like this?

"So why should my wife need to worry about other men? Who cares what happens to them...." Hiccup whispers, kissing your lips deeply. You kiss him back, not noticing Hiccup lead you to your shared bed.

By the time Hiccup pulls away, you're both out of breath and in bed. Hiccup smiles towards you, holding your chin before positioning you into a laying position.

"So what do you say?" Hiccup whispers, kissing you softly.

"Shouldn't we try for children? We'll make great parents."

[gothmikewheeler]

hi oomfy what r ur andy headcanons… i must know

hellOOOO i am so happy to have SOMEONE who cares ab this movie bc it's SOOO incredibly devastating to me and NO ONE KNOWS... but i will admit i spend most of my time trying to avoid thinking ab him or i am not even kidding i literally get so sad i get nauseous but i'll let myself like. think ab it.

this may be my maternal instincts that flare up insanely when i see him but he DEF was a mamas boy like. obsessed with her as much as she was obsessed with him, i can see it in the yearning he has for laura's attention (affection) the way piper receives it, which is heartbreakingly such an upsetting reflection of what he experienced with his dad and i genuinely think that was smth he grappled with in the film. this may be more on the analysis end of things now, but like, watching the way he tried to get in on the activities despite literally being told 2 weeks or whatever earlier that she didn't want him, that he had to fight to even be there... oh boy the tension between the desire for parental affection, the only one he ever experienced being a mother's, and knowing what happens when it's simply not there... for you and only you. UGH!!!!

but i think he was the spitting image of his mom and i dont remember if they said she died but i believe she did and that is what built up his dad's resentment to him. seeing that little guy running around and seeing Her. i bet they had the same laugh.

he definitely wanted to run away tho, but stayed for piper, scared for her.

all piper's friends have crushes on him and it embarrasses piper but he has no idea. he'll offer piper a piggyback ride and when she declines, they'll tackle him and fight over it. it's giving that "justice tankini to impress the lifeguard" YK.

he probably has a few friends, but no best friend or wide circle, and they're just ppl he hangs out with so when they go live with laura it kinda just fizzles out. bc he cant stand to let anyone in. mightve had a crush or two but no partners. really just isolated himself in a way that no one could see enough to get frustrated with.

i do see him getting drunk and letting everything slip One Time, the way he does to laura after the funeral. and it's to someone he really cares ab, maybe even likes and they just... distance themselves afterwards. barely wave hi to him in the hallway, and he just feels like he screwed everything up again.

i see him as a sappy drunk, not a sad one. i'd love to explore the dichotomy of him using alcohol (canonically) as a coping mechanism while also kind of terrified of becoming his father. but, he thinks, dad doesn't even need alcohol to do it.

hates having braces, they scratch up the inside of his mouth, and the taste of blood on his tongue is all too familiar.

i believe he was aware of EVERYTHING in the driveway after the crash. he knew what was happening and the last thing he thought ab was piper.

has absolutely NO drip

grapefruit came from an inside joke but slowly developed into something deeply meaningful to the two of them.

i just. this isn't even a headcanon but he really never found out half the things laura did to him like he didn't even know!!! "what's wrong with me" "whats happening to me" he cries this TO HER in the hospital bed BABY GET BEHIND ME IT'S HER!!!

and he DOES think something is wrong with him, always has, bc why does his dad hate him and why does he mess everything up and and and UDBFJDJWJEHF. WRAPPING HIM IN A BLANKET

also this universe is slightly supernatural and i assume there would be people who are more in tune to it than others and i believe he would be. stephen king's shine tends to come from a place of deep childhood pain and trauma so yeah, check.

i think oliver senses a mix of that and the kind nature he had and that's why he opens up to him. i think he believes that he can save him, too, not just piper.

IS THIS ANYTHING??? IM SAD!!! also major credit to the writers bc i feel like the film really did a good job at exploring his trauma and everything, u can tell this when u have a hard time talking ab ur "sad headcanons" bc theyre not even headcanons THEY ARE CANON. whether u like it or not

[juyeonszn]

AND THEN THERE IS YOU

PAIRING ju haknyeon x f!reader (gn technically since there are no gendered terms)

WORD COUNT 1.17k

GENRES fluff ﹒very slight angst like blink and u miss it

WARNINGS another fic of mine that doesn’t require an 18+ warning… fawn in her tamed era 🙏, ur heart will ache from how </3 this is, mentions of divorce, reader had kind of a shitty childhood, reader also has some intimacy issues, hak is the most patient and kind person ever, throws up everywhere bc me when </3

SUMMARY he was content loving you until you were ready to love him.

MORE ANDDDDD my insanity strikes again!!!!1!1!1! aka in my dr. seuss william shakespeare edgar allan poe steven king arc 😍 my inspiration has been crazy lately, so enjoy this before juyeonszn goes into a drought deeper into the semester 😭 ANYWAYS MAE (@maessseongs) HERE U GO!! i kept it fluffier and kinda short bc it just felt right, i hope that’s okay with u! this is the last request from my 100 followers event so far ✨ prompts used are: 2, 7 >:)

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs

Relationships were a weird concept to you. Growing up, you’d never really been shown affection. Your parents weren’t the type to pack your lunch for school in the morning and send you off with a peck on the cheek followed by an ‘I Love You’.

In fact, they never told you that they loved you very often. Maybe a handful of times in your whole life did you hear those three words uttered from them. And even less did you hear that they were proud of you. It was worse when you took a step back and watched their own crumbling marriage.

As long as they’d been together, you never heard them tell the other how much they were appreciated. They fought more than they got along. You usually fell asleep to the sound of doors slamming and loud arguing in the hallway. When they finally decided to get a divorce, you almost cried out of joy. They were draining more out of you than each other.

So, perhaps that had to do with your fucked up view of relationships as you became an adult. You could never fully comprehend what love was since you didn’t exactly have stellar role models. Boyfriends came and went, losing interest as soon as they realized how disconnected you were. Your heart was never truly in it.

And then, you met Haknyeon.

Sweet sweet Haknyeon, who only cared about your happiness and your well being. Haknyeon, who didn’t ask you for more than you could give. Who didn’t push you for answers when you shut him out. Who patiently waited on the sidelines while you rebooted yourself.

If there were a higher being out in the universe, they’d done an excellent job at putting all the best qualities into Ju Haknyeon. By some miracle or a stroke of luck, he found his way to you. You’ll always think that he deserves better than you, but you’ll also always be eternally grateful that you have him.

As summer takes its last breath and the air begins to chill, leaves wilting to the streets and crunching below the feet of passersby, your motivation to get up in the mornings has started its tumultuous decline. You don’t know what it is about the change in seasons that continues to put a damper in your mood as the years go on, but it’s become almost too much to bear. It was no longer a dull pressure in the pit of your stomach and the back of your mind. Now it was a heaviness that settled in your heart and weighed you down.

It was a Thursday evening and you were tucked into bed already, despite a peek of the sun still visible over the horizon. Your head was pounding despite the room being silent. You curl into yourself further just as your bedroom door creaks open. Haknyeon whispers an apology, going to exit the room when he sees the state you’re in.

It was standard for him to leave you alone until you were ready to talk. He knew you had a hard time opening up, considering what you’d grown up with, and he didn’t want to be the person who pestered you to tell him what was wrong. He wanted you to feel comfortable coming to him first. Haknyeon couldn’t handle being the reason you were pushed to your breaking point.

But for some reason, this time is different. You don’t want to be left alone. You want to be held. You want him to kiss your forehead and tell you he loves you, unlike what you had when you were younger.

“Hak, wait,” you call, voice slightly hoarse. “Stay. Please.”

He’s taken aback by your request, but doesn’t hesitate to follow through. He climbs into the bed behind you, wrapping his arms around your center. In spite of the fact that this wasn’t a usual occurrence, that cuddling was something you’ve only done a couple other times, he embraces you as if this was second nature for him. As if holding you in his arms was his very life source.

“Are you sure?” He asks softly, words spoken gently into your hair.

“Mhm, I want this,” you nod, nuzzling into his arm. “I have never felt this safe with anyone before.”

Haknyeon’s breathing stutters. You’ve never admitted this to him before, you’ve never ever said ‘I Love You’, but he’s always been willing to wait. He understood that this was a new territory for you. He was content loving you until you were ready to love him, even if it took months— even if it took years. That’s how much he cared for you. In his eyes, you were the reason there were stars in the sky. You were the reason why the sun rose in the morning and why the moon shone at night.

He kisses your temple. “I’ll be here to protect you.”

You turn in his arms to get a good look at his face. Because it was so rare that you were this close, you wanted to memorize his features from this distance. You trace his cheekbones and jawline with your thumb, eyes flickering down to his lips.

You lean forward, minimizing the gap between you to press your lips into a sweet kiss, almost as sweet as him. Haknyeon gasps out of surprise, but quickly reciprocates your affection, bringing up a hand to cup your face. He allows you to set the pace, to move at a speed you were comfortable with in case this was all you wanted.

When you pull back to catch your breath, he smiles, taking in how pretty you were. He could never get enough of you. He thinks that was his biggest flaw, being so greedy when it came to you. He couldn’t help but indulge himself every time you let him, though if it were a sin, he’d gladly commit it over and over again.

“However many years we have left, I wanna spend them all with you.”

You feel the tears dripping down your cheeks before you register that you’re crying. You couldn’t possibly fathom how Haknyeon came to find love in the form of you; the hollow shell of a person who’s never felt the warmth of another human in their life. You didn’t think you deserved someone like him. The only logical explanation was that you were a saint in a past life, and the higher being you mentioned earlier was rewarding you for it.

But even so, he loved you. Enough that he wasn’t afraid to spend the rest of his life with you waking up on the other side of the bed.

He swipes away some stray tears with the pad of his thumb and kisses your nose. You let out a small laugh, connecting your lips once more. It conveys all you want to say, but you know saying it out loud will make it concrete. It’ll solidify what you’ve been building up the courage to finally tell him.

“I wanna spend them all with you, too.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[tiredoflifelol]

XO Kitty Watch Notes: S1 Ep. 9 & 10

So. I liked this WAY more than I thought I would. Maybe it’s my lack of exposure to cute rom-com dramas exposing itself. Idk the script could def have been better, and the acting wasn’t always the strongest, but it wasn’t bad either. Kind of have enough thoughts for a full coherent analysis post, but I’m also thinking I wanna wait till I’ve watched season 2 and then do the whole show together. Honestly doing this has reminded me how much I love talking about media and it’s made me wanna start a reaction yt channel. (but I won’t bc I don’t rly have the time or the camera or the editing skills and no one would watch it anyways lol).

But yeah overall pleasantly surprised by this show and excited to watch season two!

Ep 9:

- Interesting emphasis on “reason, season, and a lifetime” is the show gonna follow that formula for Kitty w/ Dae, Minho, and Yuri? No clue who would be what yet. Unfortunately keep getting the feeling her and Dae aren’t endgame though. That’d be too drama fee. And as unfortunate as it is (and as much as I hate it being applied to real life) in shows like this the sweet, first love, “nice guy” is never the one that makes the final cut 😭

- Ok yeah these cuties are way too happy to last. But it’s okay, Kitty can send him my way bc that back hug with the coffee mugs?!?!

- “What a coincidence” “actually I followed u here” my guy😭

- Mrs Principal u need to divorce ur husband. He’s horrible. But I’ve actually grown to like her so much more than I thought I would.

- Yeah idk I just rly feel for her rn

- “Yuri was just a shiny thing that caught my attention” hmmm idk how I feel abt that

- And now there’s gonna be issues that Kitty knew abt Alex being her brother and didn’t tell Yuri….

- Ahaha them being fit together like a little jigsaw puzzle studying on the couch.

- Honestly if Yuri wasn’t gay I would 1000% say they should be a throuple

- although….Dae: this is my girlfriend Kitty and her girlfriend Yuri who’s my best friend (do we see the vision)

- Interesting Minho being this upset over Dae lying when technically none of it affected him? I mean it did but not in a major way? And the expression on Dae’s face as he’s looking at Minho talking…..

- Kitty: this is my girlfriend Yuri, and this is my boyfriend Dae, and his boyfriend Minho, my mortal enemy

- Dae with the sleeves rolled again! I’m so intrigued as to why they chose that as a contestant style choice for him

- YES MINHO AND DAE SCENE

- oh no no no. Pls don’t tell me they’re setting up a bff betrayal. “How could you do that to Kitty” “why are you so concerned about Kitty” WITH NO ANSWER. I’m gonna be so pissed do we not already have enough dramaaaaa. Why must romance shows always ruin friendships

- Not Minho calling the guy Florian is talking to “Biceps”. Dae coming in with the common sense of not sending it bc they don’t know details

- oh and not the jealous girlfriend now too😭

- “What if you have not done well all semester…?” “Probable doom” pls why is this show so funny sometimes

- Not the Dae and Minho tag team interrogation. But don’t show Q the morning before finals?? Dude has to focus on tests?

- THE DAMN SPARKLE MUSIC AGAIN WHEN YURI TOUCHES KITTY IM CACKLING

- Damn declining Juliana to keep teaching Kitty…I’m impressed by the messiness the writers are coming up with. (I mean irl that wouldn’t be a big deal but in a show everything is foreshadowing/building) (Also Madison coming in with her friends was cute - she’s my fav side character fs)

- I’m more invested in the Alex’s parents stuff than the relationship drama

- Random but Mrs Principal is so hot

- Ew not the husband calling his wife spoiled. That’s so gross on so many levels

- Crazy to talk abt cheating on finals in the middle of a packed audience

- Well there goes the performance. Nothing like the classic lore drop before an important moment😭

- Hsjska not them talking abt it on stage

- Ok the trip into the fireworks, dress on fire, Minho running to the rescue is so cringe I wanna scream

- wtf why are we having a weird fight over who got there first. I will be so upset if this ruins the Dae Minho friendship

- Omg Jina crying it’s gonna make me sob for her. That scene where she grabs both her kids? The “Danial follow me”? The tone with which she said “I have no idea”? Total chills. She’s giving baddie taking back her like and I’m here for it

- KITTY IF U DONT TELL DAE ITS NOT MINHO

- her crying and the fear as she told Dae made me sad for her, but imma need that girl to keep Minho from getting his face caved in.

- The look on Dae’s face though…he was so resigned and sad😭

Ep. 10:

- lowkey the tension when Dae pinned Minho against the wall though…(I jest…unless any of u agree with me. But mostly I jest)

- They were also both weirdly calm? The acting so far has been pretty good even if I didn’t like the script, but that moment for sure could have been better

- DAE IS CRYING EVERYBODY STOP

- his absolute befuddlement over it being Yuri is sending me

- Him walking away is very fair because I wouldn’t be like “oh yeah lets keep dating” if my partner said they had a crush on someone else the whole time we were (back) together, but it is heartbreaking to see her sobbing alone

- Everyone else in the family on the verge of tears and Alex just smiling in the corner💀

- Not Kitty’s dad hearing “I’m crushing on someone else (a girl) while dating my longtime bf” and going “it’s great that you’re confused, it’s how we grow!” 😭

- Noooo now she’s fighting with Q and he took the night-night tea?? Pure evil

- Mrs Principal is redeemed and making her own choices!!

- I’m dying all the other rando guys realizing Kitty lives in the boys dorm

- And I get what Q is saying about him taking Dae’s spot but there’s no guarantee Dae would have been first? Unless he was second and then yeah I could understand that…although the difference btwn 1 and 2 shouldn’t matter w/ his scholarships?

- Well damn. Her being expelled would solve a lot of this drama😭. I understand where they’re coming from though. Like you cant randomly have one person decide they want to secretly live in the opposite genders dorms for SO many dif. reasons. She really should have brought evidence of the webcam and the state of the room foreword and done a second appeal for a roommate change

- WHY IS SHE ON THE TABLE. I *cannot* handle the second hand embarrassment she gives me like GIRL PLS

- I just realized she’s had the same nails all semester. Girl is dedicated.

- “Daniel was my first love, and no matter how much time passes that stays the same” “I think I can understand that” oof. Yeah so Dae and Kitty are done. Which like I knew but…

- BRO HOW CRAZY IS A SCHOLARSHIP THAT YOU HAVE TO BE FIRST EVERY TIME. Like the dif. btwn first and second is generally very small this is INSANE

- Dae was gonna fight for her but she left the necklace omg they’re making me insane

- Look at his dad pulling out those fast and furious skills. Way to come through my guy

- STOP THEYRE MAKING ME SO SAD RN

- Not the goodbye kiss and the classic “you’ll always be important to me” spiel

- This is horrible

- Rip out my heart and stomp on it why don’t you

- Oh no. She’s gonna confess to Yuri.

- Oh no. Now Julianna is here

- They’re def setting up jealousy btwn those three for the next season which is blegh bc if there’s one thing I hate more than miscommunication tropes it’s jealousy tropes (especially when what’s presented as “unreasonable” from one partner ends up being right)

- Oh no. A Minho confession? Straight into love?? MY GUY

- she JUST said she broke up with your best friend??? What abt the bro code??? Or just timing in general???

- Crazy way to end

[techramonic]

A couple of questions?

If you were trapped in a room for 24h whould you rather be with a mass shooter or a serial killer?

What do you think Eric"s and Dylans reaction to Dylans 20th birthday aka 9/11?

Any thoughts on Ethan Crumbley and the whole trial?

How much did Whitmans tumor play into the shooting in your personal opinion?

Thank you ! This is a fun ask to write about.

1. Mass shooter lmao

Because it's likely an avoidant teenage boy with emotional issues or a dude still stuck in his prepubescence stage in the room and that makes two of us. It would just be awkward. What are they gonna do, shoot me? The situation can be diffused by conversing the many reasons why that's unethical. It would either lead to us settling it out and no one gets hurt or a fist fight to the death after they won't listen so I grab their gun and beat them up with it

2. They'd either be excited or curious

If they hadn't grown over their edgy misanthrope phase then I think those boneheads would celebrate by lighting up fireworks and snickering like Beevus and Butthead. If they have matured, then I think they would see it as interesting, perhaps even research about it and follow the news. Maybe they'll also turn it into an inside gag where they think it's coincidental or something.

3. His parents are neglectful

I do believe his parents deserved to be incarcerated for involuntary man-slaughter because then again Ethan was still under their responsibility. The fact that a kid as young as 15 had perpetrated such an attack already speaks volumes on the neglect and parental duty his parents underperformed in, even failed. It's reckless for anyone to allow their child, who is clearly underaged, to have such easy access to firearms. Plus, I find it rather odd that his parents would deny to disclose documents and records that could provide more insight on his mental health and upbringing. It's pretty shady to do not help your son and instead allow him to speak for himself without solid and backed-up proof. It just makes it look like they don't want to talk about the reasons as to why their son had done such a crime, maybe it's because they play a role in that.

4. I think it amplified his already declining mental state

My brother who's in physiotherapy helped me on this so props to him

Charles has a malignant tumor (cancerous) located in his dietemporal lobe, which affects his thalamus. The thalamus is crucial for relaying motor and sensory information from the brain to the body, and it processes all information before transmitting it to the cerebral cortex. The thalamus is also connected to the limbic system, which is involved in processing and regulating emotions. As a result, the tumor has the ability to amplify his violent tendencies and emotional irregularities, impacting both his emotional state and his body's physiological responses to threats and aggression.

While the tumor may have contributed to his violent behavior, it's likely not the sole cause. Charles endured a childhood of abuse, which may have already significantly impacted his mental health. The tumor likely worsened his pre-existing mental issues, hindering him from properly coping and regulating his emotions.

[shoutosfluffytuff]

Sure the family situation is complex and Enji didn't completely start as an abuser but are you delulu you and @erasurecloud both can't even get the timelines correct y'all be bitching saying "Enji was traumatised by watching his son die that's why he neglected Natsuo and Fuyumi, lashed out at Rei and pushed Shouto harder" all while ignoring that Rei was hospitalised before Touya "died" so Enji was already being abusive and lashing out, acting like Enji wasn't abusive towards all his kids, Shouto got the worse but he was still abusive towards the eldest 3 because neglect is abuse and yes I'm including Touya in this. Plus Rei was a victim, like sure don't make up for burning Shouto but your putting blame on her fuck man she was a victim!

Oh my god my first angry anon and first anon in general 😳:

Kinda excited about this 😂🤣!

Honestly, I don’t know what post of my or interaction between me and Erasure has caused this, but frankly I find it beyond hilarious 😆! If it’s about the recent ask they just answered from me(or even my reblog in response to their answer) you will see so many things that contradict you!

Firstly, I literally stated that I do think Enji was an abusive/bad parent towards his kids, I have never denied that at all. In fact I also stated in my reblog that I do feel differently to Erasure in concern with Touya - and that’s basically that yes I do feel he was neglectful(which is a form of abuse) with Touya, and therefore a bit abusive(eventually not from the start). The only thing I have stated is that it was complex and complicated, and isn’t simply a bad abusive man there’s nuance to the situation. As well as acknowledged that Rei bares responsibility too, and being a victim doesn’t relinquish her of responsibility!

Secondly, I mean we’re not completely wrong 😑 Enji was clearly affected by Touya’s death, and that made him worse than he already was. But to answer your accusation of getting the wrong timeline, I have not gotten the timeline wrong I am well aware of the timeline. Rei hurts Shouto —> Rei gets sent away —> Touya burns on Sekoto peak. I even have panels to clarify - Fuyumi mentions the incident:

In 302, Rei talks about the incident and her hospitalisation:

And obviously we know from Shouto’s backstory, that Enji was pushing him much too hard for a child so young through that “training” at just 5yrs old because Rei was there trying to stop him. So, yes he was already spiralling into toxic/abusive behaviour(which I think stemmed from declining mental health, stress, trauma maybe even a bit of selfishness etc - no excuse but explanation), and Shouto was facing the brunt of it but that still doesn’t change the fact that he got even worse when Touya did pass away!

And lastly, Shouto got the worse sure but frankly I don’t like playing trauma/abuse/who suffered the worse Olympics, because at the end of the day they all suffered and it’s not a competition but also it is fictional so honestly don’t get so worked up over different opinions and interpretations. Plus make sure you are reading right 😅 because it’s baffling to see you accuse me of “acting like Enji wasn’t abusive” when I literally stated I saw him as such! Also no need to call peeps delulu!

Sorry @erasurecloud for getting you dragged into this ask, feel free to give your own opinion or thoughts if you want but honestly I couldn’t help myself 😅 my first ever ask I had too!

[thalassarche]

So, I'm sleepless at 1am and I'm tired and I'm upset so I'm going to get out the shit that has been going on for me the past month and a half, because it keeps leaking out in tags and I guess maybe I should not do that. This is going to be long and it's a huge bummer. I just don't feel like I can come out and talk about it directly to anyone because it is indeed a huge bummer and I just. can't deal with like. the feeling of unloading this on someone and then what. but throwing it into the tumblr void and hiding it behind cuts feels less like I'm throwing a bunch of gross stuff at someone's feet so like, yeah. Content warnings for uh, facing the mortality of aging parents, the American healthcare system being a fucking nightmare, mentions of strokes, infections, and other huge medical problems, and basically stuff being awful.

I have lived with my mom as her caregiver for the past three years, since losing my job during covid. She is six years in remission from breast cancer, diabetic, and in end stage renal failure, meaning her kidneys don't work and she needs hemodialysis 3 days a week. I came in mostly to do things like shopping, the majority of cooking and cleaning, be present in case of falls, things like that. It's worked out, mostly. It sucks that she had to move to AZ to live near her brother simply due to the fact that her cozy little house in MT that she got remodeled to her needs has no dialysis centers within an hour's drive and the closest ones had no open seats anyway, not even for a summer stay, because of the nationwide nursing and technician shortage in healthcare. So she lives in AZ and goes to dialysis 10 minutes away. It works out, sorta. But. Since August 1st:

she had a stroke, which affected the language centers of her brain and made speech, writing, and complex communication difficult

she spent a week in neuro ICU for follow up; this was at a hospital 20 miles away in Phoenix. yes I drove there every day to see her.

she was transferred to a rehabilitation center after that week, where she had several good days but then started to experience severe lower back pain.

the back pain got so severe that she was crying and even screaming when being helped into/out of bed, or having the head of the bed elevated so she could eat.

myself and her other present family were very upset about this, because she was in pain! and also it was preventing progress in her PT/OT after the stroke! we wanted them to do something and find out what was going on!

an xray was done. "no significant findings."

we asked for a CT scan or MRI if an xray found nothing.

it didn't happen. maybe insurance said no, maybe assumptions were made that it wasn't necessary.

but mom spent the rest of her 15 days at that rehab facility on tylenol and then oxycodone.

she was then discharged, and yet in no state to come home.

we found a short-term care facility for her that she'd actually stayed at after her initial ER stay that discovered her renal failure. we thought that she'd do okay there.

she didn't. she declined. she was still in severe pain. MWF for her dialysis, she was basically just, done. and they had scheduled her dialysis at 6am. so. the day was just over, no ability for therapy.

they still just gave her oxycodone so even on good days she was sleeping a lot and very out of it.

we asked to speak to the physician and her case worker. we were not able to.

we asked for her to get further testing instead of just this pattern of throwing narcotics at her and watching her decline. it didn't happen.

at the end of her second week there, she was becoming less responsive and more inclined to just sleep.

she wasn't eating. I tried so hard to encourage her to eat, I even fed her. she still would eat a few bites and then be uninterested in more.

one day she only ate a cup of yogurt.

then she was so badly out of it and barely responsive that I demanded that they do something. so they gave her narcan. because maybe she was too lost in the oxycodone sauce. didn't help, they gave her more. didn't help. they called EMTs.

she ended up in the ER, where they did a CT, MRI, and bloodwork.

(this was a week ago)

turns out she has an infection in her spine. which is osteomyelitis, an infection in the bone and bone marrow that just constantly hurts. oh also numerous pressure sores, including a bad one on her heel, and a bad one on her lower back. either could have introduced the infection into her spine.

that infection has spread to her blood. yeah she's got sepsis.

she also has had at least one additional stroke and her speech has degraded even further.

she spent several days in the ICU and it was very touch and go.

it is still very touch-and-go but she's now in progressive care (pcu) which is a downgrade from ICU in terms of how serious.

but yeah. sepsis is very dangerous for young and relatively healthy people. she is 74. her diabetes means her healing is very slow. her renal failure means that her system can't handle a heavy load of antibiotics so they have to be given more spaced out and in lower doses.

it. sucks.

I still go to see her every day and talk to her even if she's not responding. I sing songs she knows. I put on videos of the church services in her hometown for her to listen to. - it. sucks. so. much.

oh yeah also her place here in AZ is in a retirement park and I can only be here because she resides here. so if something happens even in terms of her moving her permanent residence elsewhere I can't stay here.

I have no income I basically just lived here with her and she covered my expenses as my pay for being her caregiver. so like. looks at the potential need to get independent housing, looks at bank account with $30 in it, laughs darkly and decides I can't think about that.

besides I need to think about how this could be the last time I have left with my mom.

it. sucks.

[mdhwrites]

Diane and Kat: My Original Lesbians

Diane and Kat: The Bound Bands (available for free until the end of the 15th! A decision I made while writing this. XD) was my first original story. Released on August 5th, 2016, it was my first book ever released and worked on over the course of four months. Today I just feel like talking about them and what led to them.

So first... Going original wasn't my idea. It was something I was considering but it was actually someone else in the MLP Fandom that first talked to me about how they wanted to do original works. The two of us had tried to work together in the past, they liked my work and I like to attempt to collaborate. By the end of the day, I had the main concept for the two main characters already written up.

Now mind you, I say ATTEMPT to collaborate. I have literally had more success collaborating in the TOH fandom, the fruits of which no longer are publicly available, than I did in five years? of being the MLP fandom. I would always get brought on for a project, have a ton of ideas and write my portion quickly and then NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN. So for about a week the two of us lightly brainstormed and then it just kind of... died. I think maybe the first chapter had been written by me, maybe part of the second, but they never contributed to the writing of it and a lot of the brainstorming was primarily my own because of how fast my brain works.

The big contribution I remember they added was a piece of advice: "Don't make it about their sexuality." It's a line that stuck with me because you can actually see how it manifests in the second chapter. The mayor who is supposed to pay them is presented as a bigot trying to stiff them. However, his prejudice isn't because they're lesbians. It's the idea that couple adventurers get 'distracted' and so potentially did shoddy work, despite them having done the job just fine. A tongue in cheek subversion that also helps make it clear the sort of world they're living in. People will still try to short change and scam you but it's not going to be by sexual preference.

However, due to the collaborative nature of it, the story went fallow for a while. I think this technically first happened late 2015 when it was first brainstormed and my brain kept buzzing about it on and off but, well, I had other things to worry about like my declining mental health. It only really came back to the forefront when in March of 2016, Walmart threatened to fire me and something in me just... broke. I ended up having to quit due to the void it introduced in me and made plans to move to Colorado to live with my parents. At the same time, as a way to potentially try and make up for the lack of a job, I asked my friend if it was okay if I took Diane and Kat and ran with them. They said yes and so their story began.

But who were they? (I actually have character profiles on a doc for them from that original drafting and there was a SEVERE temptation to just copy and paste for this)

Diane Maxwell:

A priestess turned sorceress who was almost killed by templars for having been found out to have incredibly powerful magic in her veins, she has a fairly serious, focused personality. She is mildly sarcastic, especially with Kat, and would be content in life if not for the fact that the teachings she was raised with push her to want to continue doing good. That and adventuring pays the bills. She wears a dress robe over normal leather armor and specializes in lightning and fire magics due to having an affinity to both and being shockingly bad at any form of healing magic, much to her own disappointment. Is awkward about public affection though it's purely a personal thing and has nothing to do with how deep her love for Kat runs.

Kat Wolfcry:

A self proclaimed knight who is the daughter of the chief to a barbarian clan, she is stubborn, enthusiastic and on the face of it what you would expect from a barbarian who is a bit on the shorter side, especially when compared to her tall girlfriend. Her fiery red hair and heritage hide who she really is. She cares about innocents more than any barbarian literally can for the job. She even almost failed the ritual to imbue herself with a wolf spirit because it required her to kill in cold blood a wolf she knew to become one with it. To give her the sort of magical rage a fantasy barbarian has. It was saving Diane from the templars and their lone journey to bring her back home from a failed pillaging raid that made her decide she needed to leave home and at least try to be a knight, even if she still fights like a barbarian. But uh... Just because she cares about innocents doesn't mean she's defanged. She just can't get mad 'for fun'. If you hurt people, expect her to be all too happy to show you why her clan was known for brutal slaughters of their prey, like a pack of wolves on a moose.

So there are your two bases. The classic dynamic of tank and sorcerer, though only the latter can only do field medicine so they need to be careful. Plenty of backstory potential and plenty of just general potential for good fun between the two, with their first book even mentioning old stories I had in mind for them because I was just so enthusiastic about the ideas I had for them.

So... Why only the one book?

Well, that kind of comes down to format? Amongst a lot of other things but something that has always made me nervous is that I conceptualized the series as being stand alone for the majority of the books. One might reference another book but you didn't need to have read it to get a complete story with whichever book you read. The only book that should have ever broken this would have been the final book in the series because it would have been a celebration of what had come first.

That's also why Bound Bands is the way it is. It was just meant to be a fun dungeon crawl that could be a part of a series, but didn't have to be. I literally have the layout listed on that old doc of 2 beginning chapters, four dungeon layers, three night chapters to serve as quieter breaks, then the boss and epilogue effectively. A simple but effective structure that was based on one main premise: A dungeon meant to stress and push whoever came in's bond with themselves and each other hard. I won't spoil why since you can go check it out yourself, at least if you're reading this when it comes out.

BUT this format is also kind of nerve wracking in that it means having to reintroduce a lot of elements of a character each time and avoiding repetition in that, finding new ways to introduce them and what not, is something my brain has hissed at me each time I've tried starting another book of theirs. I actually don't even know how much I have to worry about this since this style isn't actually something I ever engaged much with as a kid. I never read the old Sherlock mysteries as an example. I don't know how much they rely on you knowing who Sherlock is even if each story is standalone. I read series or single books as a kid, never something in this sort of field so it maybe is something I just need perspective on to help me out.

But just for fun, I'll share the immediate pitches for some of the books I'd considered:

Holy Town Mage Tournament: A small church town belonging to the same faith Diane used to be is holding of all things a tournament for black magic users. While normally something Diane wouldn't be a part of, two things push her to join. The first is the one favored to win, a mage who claims to be an archmage, which is no simple feat in this world. Diane should know: She qualifies as one after all due to having mastered the ability to duel cast. The other? A mute priestess who is the final opponent for the winning mage and her mother who are raising money for the town through this blasphemous act and who claim to have been friends with her father, Avatar Maxwell.

A Feral Circus: After a night of hard drinking that Diane skipped but that Kat went out to enjoy, Kat doesn't make it back to the room they were staying at. Meanwhile, the circus in town's beast master claims to have a new wolf as part of his menagerie who he shall reveal to all in one week's time. With it being the closest thing to a lead Diane has, can she infiltrate the circus and find Kat? And why is the beast master waiting so long to reveal his new prize?

(Side note: I always felt like I had an easier time to figure out stories for Diane to be the lead than Kat. *sigh*)

Test of Mettle: In the middle of a town lies a large stone rock with hundreds of nicks taken out of it by various warriors, knights and swordmasters who wanted to test their might against it. When Kat goes to do it though, she is stopped by an old samurai type who says that a barbarian has no place in testing themselves like this. When she tries anyways, she destroys her sword as if it were nothing. That's the last straw and Kat makes it clear they aren't leaving until she's not just hit the rock but shattered it entirely, with this easily being one of their earlier stories.

(Also yes, I watched the anime take on Thundercats. Why do you ask?)

And finally, of course:

Diane and Kat: On her first raid, Kat Wolfcry chooses a monastery on the edge of the lands dominated by the Kesral faith. It's an easy target but one with plenty of loot to make her father proud. She doesn't know that a squad of templars are there, having been brought in to judge Diane Maxwell, daughter of the old leader of the monastery, for her newfound black magic. They throw her in a well cell beneath the monastery as they finish getting the black powder that they'll be bringing back to the capital. Powder kegs waiting to go off and help start these two girls' destinies with a bang.

The one I've tried starting the most often is the holy town tournament one, with their true origin story of meeting and falling in love being the only other one I've actually tried to start. Feral Circus has always been LOW priority because it's the sort of story I'd want to do as like a fifth book since that one genuinely just removes Kat for the entirety of it while at least the holy town one is simply more focused on Diane. I've never forgotten them though. They always come to mind, asking for when their turn will be and I keep just not quite managing to return to them.

UNTIL NO- No. I don't have an announcement like that to make. I might try to sometime soon, and maybe publish some one offs I made for the two on Ao3, including when Diane first cast magic, but for the moment they are just the two lesbians I want to someday return to. As such, if you have questions about them and the like, please, let me know. I'd love to answer what I can and who knows? Maybe it'll help me get more motivated about them.

And since I did in fact decide to make their book free for a bit, a reminder that Kindle e-books do NOT require an e-reader. They are available to be read on literally anything with a browser. So if you're reading this, you can almost certainly pick it up and check out their first story: Diane and Kat: The Bound Bands.

[induced-anhedonia]

introductions

i am going to try and supress the immediate visceral cringe reaction i have towards letting people know things about me. maybe this blog can lead me somewhere healthier, that's always the goal.

even saying "that's the goal" makes my head immediately go into self-doubting mode. anyway if i manage to keep this blog going for a while we can talk more about that later.

i'll be 25 this year. maybe that says a lot already, quarter-life crisis and all that.

i'm not great at expressing myself, but at the same time i don't really think i got many complex thoughts to express. most of the things in my head are usually just noise coming from a bunch of different stuff. because of that i usually reserve myself to not thinking too much to avoid stress and generating more noise.

i have been to therapy and took medication for three years straight if i'm not mistaken. i stopped in april this year to see what would happen, and still am not sure about how that really affected me.

i unwillingly (but unavoidably) recognize i have a bunch of self-esteem issues spanning most areas of my life. they do get to me, but i try to not let people see through that. i think it's also a coping mechanism for myself, like pretend it doesn't bother you so maybe it goes away.

i don't have a great relationship to family. i'm part of the divorced parents to social shut-in pipeline that seems so common nowadays. some people say i downplay my family issues but i really do think a lot of people have it a whole lot worse. i don't really care about most people in my family besides my sister, who i live with, and even that relationship feels "cold" to me sometimes (100% from my end).

i do feel pity for my mother and father though, especially my mom. they both came out of the divorce broken in different ways, but watching her mental health decline over the years was hard. at the beggining i felt really sad about it and tried to help, but that didn't work out well for either of us, so now i just see it as inevitable and try to not let that get to me.

i tend to be closer to my friends than family, but i will admit i sometimes (more often than i'd like) will go days or weeks without responding to any of them, or only having surface level conversation to make sure they don't feel like i'm mad at them. i hardly really open up to them, it's just not something i'm comfortable with.

i like my dog even if i get frustrated with him from time to time, which i know makes no sense. i'm pretty sure he has anxiety, sorry dude.

i used to be excited about my line of work when i was in university, but after 4 years and multiple jobs i don't feel like i belong in software development. call it impostor syndrome or whatever linkedin term they are using nowadays. lately i have been considering moving to manual labor (which i have never been good at) or one of those "fake jobs" you see online, something with a lot of meetings and increasing shareholder value through i'm not really sure what.

i don't have any long-term hobbies. i liked sports as a child, then videogames, music (not production of any kind, just making playlists mostly) and most recently a sort of obssession with board games and ttrpgs, but not to the point of actually playing any of them, i like just messing with the numbers and mechanics to try to make them balanced.

i have had exactly one relationship, and it was the only person i have ever let myself be physically intimate or open with at all. sometimes i wonder if most of my issues center around that, it's possible. we broke up a little bit before or after i started therapy 3 years ago and i don't feel like i have really gotten over it in any capacity. i think i have sabotaged myself for a while in that front, but recently i really have been trying getting over it, no contact and all. it's pretty rough, i have not gone a single day without thinking about her ever since we met, but i hope that changes someday.

i will inevitably go more into each of those topics in future posts, but i think this is a good summary for right now.

while i realistically don't expect anyone to read this, and that's fine, a part of me really hopes someone does. i'm not sure if that part is just attention-starved from keeping to myself too much or if i really long for meaningful connection with someone who understands, or is at least interested, but no pressure.

v.

[teabiscuit-bakes]

Heart Shaped Cinnamon Rolls

Welcome back!!!! This lovely Valentine’s Day we will be making heart shaped cinnamon rolls! I usually bake during Valentine’s Day but this year it’s special!!!! I have a new crush!

I’m not gonna name names here because that’s just odd, but she hangs out with my friends Bree, Em, Lissy and I in our art class and skips calc to talk to us. Em had a thing for her at the same time as me but realized it was more platonic for her and backed off. I wouldn’t fight over a girl with my friend anyways but I wonder if she just wanted me to be happy. I’ve spent most of high school single and even then my freshman year relationship was over Covid. I’d hate to admit it here but it definitely has had an effect on my self esteem. Seeing everyone get into at least one relationship, situationship, or talking stage while I remain single is so debilitating for my self esteem. It makes me question if I’m good enough or remotely cute. I’ve been so many places where I could meet people too and yet the opportunity never seems to find me. So I sit back and gain crushes knowing I’ll never do anything about them, like this current one I have.

Lord is she attractive too. I have a major thing for taller women, that plus muscles is my weak point and she has both! The other day she was telling us about her workout routine and flexed and holy hell… I swooned right then and there. I think Bree noticed too because she made direct eye contact with me and gave me the look. Bree is much more experienced in relationships than me, she makes it look so easy. People are just naturally drawn to her, I honestly always feel a sense of envy around her. It’s not like it isn’t partially my fault for being single, I’m a bit dense and too picky for my own good; i will say sometimes my pickiness is justified. There was this one time i was talking to someone and they wrote me a poem after 3 days of talking to me. Like… i just couldn’t keep on after that and I politely declined a second date. It want even the poem thing, my ex wrote me poems often and i absolutely adored them, but this was too early for me. I also think I’m just too friendly for my own good; supposedly whenever I’m being flirted with I just think I’m making a new friend. Even when I’m just talking to people to get to know them I usually get along best with a certain personality type just because I tend to be a bit more quiet or to the point when I speak. I obviously joke around and make small comments with my friends and people I’m comfortable with but that’s the thing… I need to be comfortable with who I’m talking to. Sometimes people will see me when I’m putting on a front at work or at my volunteer organization by that’s where I’m professional Tams. I don’t make stupid comments, I talk a certain way, I laugh a certain way, I’m not my truest self in those places. It’s weird when people see my professional act and like me there; it’s kind of straining to see if I can be as weird as I actually am or if I need to just keep it to professional Tams.

I’m not only making this recipe because I have a crush but to celebrate the love I have for my friends and those around me. My favorite teachers will get one, my closest friends will obviously get one and even some of my school friends. It’s how I show my affections and appreciation for the people in my life. I need to exude love around these times or I’ll fall into a sadness about now having a valentine once again. The bright side is this year my mom also doesn’t have one! Well, it’s not actually a bright side because my parents are divorcing but she, my sister and I have plans for Valentine’s Day. We’re gonna make some steaks, eat some chocolate, maybe a cup of wine (not my sister though, she’s 10), and watch a movie together. It’s kinda nice to have my mom understand my sadness this time around and my need to project or else I’ll crumble. Last years I made these puff pastry live letters (image down below) and my mom cussed and fussed about me making them until I explained it, and now she’s experiencing it. Those love letters were delicious too!

*My delectable love letters*

Anyways onto the cinnamon rolls!

This recipe will call for

Sweet dough (see recipe as linked)

1-3 squirts of pink or red food coloring (I use the gel so the color is more potent)

1 cup brown sugar

1.5 sticks of butter (not margarine you nasties)

A wee bit of half and half or whipping cream for the bottom of the pan (trust)

Cream cheese frosting (see as linked)

Now onto the recipe

Preheat oven to 385°F

When making your sweet dough add in your food coloring for a pretty pink/red dough

Roll out your sweet dough until flat as your heart rolls flat at the thought of another single Valentine’s Day. ( 18 in x 20 in should be the measurement)

Soften your butter as your heart softens when you see your crush.

Spread thin layer of butter onto your pretty pink dough (just like you pretty yourself up for the likelihood of getting a compliment from her)

Sprinkle cinnamon over buttered dough

Take the corners of your shorter side and roll all the way to the other end

Now here’s how you get the heart shape, when you cut your rolls out, you wanna make sure that the dough is facing you and cut down the middle. Not all the way down but enough to create the shape so you can see the layers.

Make sure your pan of choice is greased (a plain baking sheet will do) and place each heart in the pan. Drizzle your cream over your cinnamon rolls until there’s a thin layer at the bottom. It makes em extra fluffy. As fluffy as I feel whenever she compliments my outfit, especially when I happen to be wearing her favorite color.

As I’ve mentioned earlier I absolutely love baking for others! It fills a void and shows my love and appreciation for those around me. It’s a major part of who I am and I’m glad to share it with who I love and care for! Until next time my loves, bonne appétit!!!!

[princeblack]

He’s not sure what he expects when asking her if she’d rather he be less careful with her, but maybe some part of him already longs for her to tell him it’s okay to want her and that maybe he can even have her. It’s a selfish desire and one that doesn’t make any sense for her— why would she want to fraternize with the person who employs her, especially when that person is engaged and unavailable in so many ways? So he shouldn’t be surprised when she says she hasn’t decided, but his heart sinks a little all the same.

At least she seems to appreciate his compliment, even if it’s less of a compliment and more of an observation. She tells him twice how kind he is and it warms his heart that she seems so happy she gets to see Alfie again. “Don’t worry; we’ll leave out plenty for him. One of the privileges of being royalty is collecting enough shiny belongings to share with a niffler.” It doesn’t bother him, letting the creature take some of his things. If anything it seems fascinating and kind of adorable. “Is that why he loves you so much? Because your face shines when you smile?” just saying it makes him smirk a little, sheepishly. He reaches out, pinching one of her cheeks teasingly. “Sorry.. I don’t even make sense anymore.” All he can think about is her beauty, from those big blue eyes to her perfect lips. Maybe if his fiance were even a fraction as beautiful, he could force himself to be interested. But unfortunately for her, Bexley is going to be working alongside him every day and no one will ever compare to that beauty.

Her voice is so warm and soothing, explaining how she wishes the best for Regulus and Sirius. He could listen to her all night and he has half the mind to ask her to read to him just so he can. “Sometimes I think I care more about fixing our relationship than he does,” he says, which is probably more vulnerable than he should be with someone he just met, but at least she’s giving him permission.

She declines his offer to visit her family and he’s surprised, but listens to her explanation quietly. “Well, they’re free to visit whenever they please and if you ever change your mind just let me know.” He hates the idea of keeping her locked up here, separated from her loved ones forever. He’s sure she’s going to be great at her job and he would miss having her around too, but he doesn’t want to keep her from her family.

He shakes his head when she starts to explain herself. “No, that’s not what I meant… I know you aren’t judging. I was merely lamenting that my behavior is out of place for my family.” He wishes it wouldn’t be considered odd, how much he was willing to grant his handmaiden. But then again, maybe he just wishes that so no one knows the truth about why he’s so soft for her already. How angry would his parents be? How angry would Daphne be, to know that his thoughts for Bexley were so soft?

She apologizes after his reaction to her claiming Daphne must be lucky, causing his chest to squeeze because of how sweet and small she sounds. “You didn’t upset me, beautiful.” He catches her face in his palm, fingers tracing under her chin as he guides her closer. Glancing down at her lips, he thinks about how soft they probably are, wishing he could kiss them. But she did say she hadn’t decided if he should be cautious with his affections yet, so he drops his hand, leaning back. 

She tries to reassure him that he can’t make himself love Daphne and that she doesn’t mind being specially treated this way. “So you don’t mind if I start to fall in love with you, then?” he asks bluntly, green eyes roaming her figure. It’s difficult to focus when her hand is scooping water onto his bare chest and he’s so turned on, but he tries to listen to her words instead of imagining how good it would feel to kiss her pink lips.

Her fingers feel nice brushing against his skin every time she scoops water onto his body, making his lashes flutter. “I would like to introduce you… Sera likes pretty girls, so I imagine he’ll like you even more, since you’re good with animals on top of that.” The dragon hates James Potter, but Regulus is sure he would like Bexley.

She compliments him and it makes his heart race a little, giving her the smallest smile. He knows Sirius is jealous, at least to an extent, of the favor their parents have placed upon Regulus. But it’s difficult to imagine the outgoing and handsome Sirius being jealous of Regulus because he’s lovely. Regardless, he likes hearing her say it. “If you were Sirius, what about me would make you jealous?” he asks, softly prodding her to keep going.

she couldn't believe she said that, knowing what it implies she doesn't know what's come over her as she bites down on her lower lip, regulus seems to catch onto her own teasing and she bites down on her lower lip. "I haven't decided yet..." she smiles softly, biting down on her lower lip as eyes travel along his bare frame, skin glowing from the glistening water droplets that drip down his frame.

he tells her it's hard to believe and she can't help but giggle softly. it's not that she's not gotten compliments before or offers for proposals but it wasn't like the way the prince did, nobody ever made her heart flutter this way before or made her feel like she was actually beautiful. she's never been so charmed before and it's not only because of the sweet words he speaks to her. could she truly be falling for him so soon? it seems kind of silly knowing her feelings could never be more, even if he wasn't to be married he was still a prince and she was nothing but a servant, he could never love someone like her even if he was the sweetest man she'd ever known. her cheeks flush into a glowing blush shaking her head a bit. "you're too kind your highness."

her lips pull into a smile at his words, excitement flowing through her at the idea of alfie actually coming to the castle to be with her. she never thought she'd see her middle again, at very least it would be very rare occasions so the idea that regulus would arrange for him to be part of the palace meant the world to her. "that is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me, thank you..." she says gently, smiling up at him. "serafirm is very lucky to have someone as wonderful as you are and I hope alfie won't be too much of a handful when he comes. as long as he's stimulated he won't normally cause destruction." she says gently. "you could also leave out tea spoons if you're worried he might steal something valuable, nifflers aren't picky as long as it's something that shines or sparkles." alfie had a collection of objects most wizards would find useless but to him it was treasure because of the way the sun hits them in the shining light.

lord sirius sounded like a handful but she wouldn't dare say it outloud, she feels for regulus having to deal with so much and not even having his own brother to depend on. bee isnt sure what she would do without cedric on her side through everything, if her older brother hated her or the other way around the world would feel so lonely. "I hope you and lord sirius can find peace one day your highness. it's important to have your sibling especially when things get tough with your parents, they're always the ones you want on your side through thick and thin." she smiles warmly. "and you don't have to apologize, I might be your handmaiden but I am a good listener too. if you don't have your brother then I don't mind taking the place of someone you can vent to....only if you want."

his offer takes her by surprise, allowing her to visit her family wasn't something she would ever ask for on her own but the fact he does it without her even having to ask makes her heart flutter a bit. "sir i...that is a very noble thing to do but I couldn't possibly ask that if you. I took this job knowing the things I'd have to leave behind and I'm okay with that, I'd be happy with a visit from my family here and there but I do not wish to leave you behind." she smiles softly. "I have a duty to you and I'm not going to take advantage of your kindness just because I get a bit homesick, besides I'm sure they much rather visit this beautiful palace. my brother wants to be a knight one day."

blue eyes flicker towards his soft lips as he speaks, realizing how much she loves the sound of his voic, so smooth and low. even just in the way he talks he sounds so intelligent and it makes her heart race a little bit. "no your highness, I don't mean to sound like I was judging you...I don't think you're heartless. I just...I suppose I usually feel guilty for most things I probably shouldn't." it's what comes with having such a judgmental and demanding father like her own. "you are the kindest person I've ever met and I would never judge someone on their status."

regulus pulls back from her, his gaze as well and it makes her a bit confused, did she say something wrong? she feels a bit guilty but she really didn't mean any harm. blue eyes searching to find his own before he speaks again but his words make sense, people with his status didn't often marry for love,not from what she understood at least. it was often out of political status or to gain something and that's one thing she always feared was being forced into a marriage that wasn't because she loved the person and rather because she had no other choice, to help her family. "I'm sorry your highness, I didn't mean to upset you..." but she's not going to lie she does feel a bit flattered knowing she seems to be a special case. "but you can't force yourself to love someone you do not want to be with...that's beyond your control and not to speak out of place but I don't mind being a special case for your treatment." she smirks, using the sponge to soak his back hoping it'll help him relax.

she notices the way his eyes find her breasts and she realizes she's been showing to him this entire time. it makes her blush a little, hoping it's a good thing he's looking down at her. she shouldn't think like that or want the prince to look at her in such a way but she can't help herself, she wants to be wanted by him as she bites down on her lower lip, dipping her hand in the bath water to gather more water dripping it down against his skin. she listens to him talk about his dragon, the one he mentioned earlier and she can't help but smile fondly, finding it endearing and even kind of sexy that he cares so much. "I would love to meet him sometime if you wouldn't mind..." she smiles. "I've never seen an actual dragon before, not up close at least." she allows him to lean back towards the eyes so she can move over to his chest, gathering more water trying not to focused too long on the fact she can see his dick through the water as she moves lower. "I feel sorry for your brother, he seems to have a hard life. with a brother as amazing as you to compare to, I'd be quite jealous too." she teases, picking up his arm with one hand so she can use the other to scrub. "you're so lovely."

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Here to Misbehave (Finale | S.R.)

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |

Summary: It’s Halloween, and there are a lot of things on Spencer’s mind.

A/N: Here it is, everyone: the end of the story. Thank you so much to everyone who’s read this far. I greatly appreciate all of you, and I hope you enjoy it!   Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Fluff/Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Penetrative sex, light D/s, mostly fluff! Word Count: 7.5k

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Autumn has widely been considered the season of change. It is an understandable characterization; from the shifting hues of the leaves to the wildly fluctuating temperatures, few things stayed consistent in the fall. Perhaps that’s why someone who loathes change, someone like me, finds the season so thrilling.

It’s like the Earth and the Sun made a pact to make changes more predictable in their own unique, chaotic way. The breeze becomes biting and the days become shorter, but for these downfalls, we are granted a beauty and calmness that can’t be rivaled by any other season.

But she wasn’t a season, and when it came to my attention and appreciation, there were few choices that were easier to make.

“Spencer. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

(Y/n)’s face was half covered by the cup she held tightly with both hands, but I could picture the hidden expression perfectly, regardless.

“What? We don’t have to agree on everything.”

The truce was received poorly, her response a heavy scoff and a shake of her head. I tried to follow along with her suddenly heated words but couldn’t contain the stars in my eyes that often accompanied my daydreams. If she did notice, she stubbornly ignored the adoration to continue, “I understand you’re a genius or whatever, but I think your opinions on cider and cocoa are... wrong. They are wrong.”

It was my turn to feign displeasure (I hoped hers wasn’t real, anyway), clutching tighter to my own drink that I found myself defending on a park bench with dozens of strangers as an audience.

“An opinion can’t be wrong!” I chirped, only hating the way my voice jumped a little bit. After all, it was hard to hate it when it made her giggle. But despite how much sweeter the liquid seemed when I drank it in the presence of her smile, I also knew that she wouldn’t appreciate my immediate agreement. So, I pushed back just a little, “It can be misguided or ignorant but not outright wrong.”

“Unless it’s yours, on this topic,” she shot back without hesitation.

I tried to flash her a pout, hoping that maybe it would work for me like it did for her. It did not. Her eyebrows shot up and her jaw dropped open with another laugh, and I decided that I preferred that outcome, anyway. The longer my bottom lip stuck out, the wider her smile got. I waited to stop until her eyes closed and turned away, just long enough for me to let the full force of my affection show before she noticed.

She saw it, anyway, in the form of a similar smile spread over my face when I softly admitted, “Fine. You’re right.”

“Oh, I know.”

Her tongue peeked between her lips, and I found myself thinking less of cider and cocoa and more about how unbelievably lucky I was to find someone that I never felt the need to prove anything to. A person that didn’t care if I held all the answers.

I might’ve continued down that sappy train of thought, but it was hard to do while she had hoisted herself halfway over the table to try and grab hold of my cup right as I went to drink from it. Of course, she had failed to take into account just how big the table was, and just how close I was willing to come to falling before I let her drink from my cup right after she’d criticized my preference of fall flavors.

For a second, I really thought she might climb onto the table to win, but the judgmental looks from the parents in the park must have beaten her desire to win. As forlorn as humanly possible, she fell back into her seat with a loud “Hmph!” which really only managed to elicit an equally immature giggle from me.

“Shut up,” she laughed before shoving my paper plate further into my chest, “And eat your stupid pie.”

All I could think as she grabbed my fork and stabbed the middle of the piece to try to lift the entire thing at once, was that I was right about one thing: Autumn, in all its vitality and beauty, could still never compare to her.

That thought persisted through the pumpkin patch, growing in intensity as she skipped through the vine-laden path like a regular fall fairy. It was much easier to get lost in her there, crouched and inspecting foliage. Her arguments regarding gourds were much less spirited, with her watching me wide-eyed and curious as I explained the stages of pumpkin growth and all the different uses for the fruit.

I still let her make the final choices, opting to analyze her selections and tease her for them later, instead. That was the plan, anyway, to continue the competitiveness lest she gets bored with me before the day was over. When she walked past me holding open the passenger side door, I thought it might’ve already happened.

But then she just placed the pumpkin into my hands so she could open the back door. Before I could even move, she carefully removed it from my arms again and placed it in the seat.

“What are you doing?” I said through a very amused chuckle.

She was decidedly not entertained by my confusion, stopping to turn to me with a bored, frustrated expression. “I’m buckling him in,” she explained slowly, like I might need the help. Then, to add insult to silly injury, she added, “Duh.”

I was too distracted by the details to tackle the absurdity of it all.

“Him? It’s a boy pumpkin?”

“Obviously. Look at him,” she snorted, finally clicking the seatbelt in before tenderly petting the top of the lucky little gourd. Once she was convinced it would be as safe as she could make it, she allowed me to begin to escort her into her proper seat.

“You know it’s safer on the floor, right?” I asked before she’d slipped past me. I wrapped an arm around her, pulling her away from the car so I could enjoy the warmth of her before it was replaced with the dry air of the engine.

“How dare you,” she balked with an open mouth that was just begging to be kissed. By the time I got close enough to try, though, her hand fervently shoved my cheek away. I tried to laugh, but she used the same hand to cover the noise, trying and failing to convince me she was being serious.

“Why don’t you just hold him?” I mumbled against her palm.

That was enough for her to abandon my embrace altogether. With a scoff and a roll of her eyes, she pried my arms off of her and finally made her way to my passenger seat. I didn’t fight her too hard, even taking the time to shut her door like my mother always insisted.

The mercy was not returned, with her eyes narrowed into a playful disbelieving glare that I hadn’t seen in some time. My mind was brought back to the first time she ever let me know she was jealous, bickering over blondes and preferences while she sat in the very same place. And, just as before, she was still wearing the same raggedy old sweatshirt of mine.

“If this is any indication of how you’ll be with a human baby, I have dramatically overestimated your competence,” she droned, obviously unaffected by the stars that appeared in my eyes every time I looked at her.

“The one and only time you’ll ever be able to say those words. I hope you enjoyed it,” I joked. A funny enough joke that she couldn’t help but smile through her facade.

“Don’t worry,” she chuckled, “I did.”

The day could have ended there, and it would have been enough. Honestly, I couldn’t think of a single thing that wouldn’t be better with her there. In a way, I think we were trying to prolong the high of ‘hooky,’ finding even the faintest interest in an activity as enough of an excuse for a detour.

… Which was probably how we found ourselves in our third park of the day. After all, I loved any autumnal vision, so how could I decline an opportunity to let them serve as a backdrop for watching her? And that was an accurate description of how I spent the day. It might sound boring, and if it were anyone else, it probably would have been. But no matter how often I saw her, I found myself learning new things about her every single time. Each freckle and scar became a part of the high-definition collection of memories that I would never let myself forget. The most beautiful images that kept me sane in the face of evil and filth.

“Do you see that?”

For a moment, I thought she might have read my mind. But then I realized that her eyes were still fixed forward, stuck on the horizon ahead of us.

“See what?”

“That,” she pointed, “Right there.”

My eyes followed the line, finding nothing but an area of carefully manicured, yellow grass and trees already set to rest for the season. It must have been clear to her that I was lost, because her pointing became more animated and her voice rose as she shouted, “Right there!”

“The giant pile of leaves?”

“Uh-huh.”

Then, in all of my obliviousness, I just sort of stared. Even when her hand grew tighter around mine and her feet started to move faster, I didn’t put two and two together until it was too late.

“What about— No! (Y/n)!” I shouted, cutting off my own train of thought and only barely letting go of her in time to watch her jump straight into the collection of fallen foliage that some poor landscaper had obviously worked hard to gather.

I have to believe that even if that unlucky, underappreciated individual saw what she’d done to their hours of work, that they would forgive her. It was hard to feel anything but joy at the sounds that came from the pile. Yet I approached her cautiously, with both hands in my pockets to avoid the urge to throw myself into danger with her.

“You’re a terror,” I said, settling for a crouched position in front of her. Still able to see her but far enough from her grasp that she had to crawl through a wall of leaves to come nose to nose with me. “This is literally the scariest thing you’ve done all season.”

“Come on in, the water’s fine,” she purred.

As enticing as the offer was, my mind was too preoccupied with statistics of spider and snake bites, not to mention the possibility of ticks still scouring the landscape for any last second hosts. The answer was easy.

“Absolutely not.”

With another exhale of pure displeasure, she threw her body back into the leaves, burying herself into a mess of yellows and reds that somehow only made her look even more beautiful. The chaotic scene matched her energy well, and the harm she was doing was minimal considering I was absolutely going to search every inch of skin for any marks later.

The only thing that was more appealing to me than watching her make an absolute fool out of herself in a pile of leaves was the intense urge to tease her about it. So, taking a regrettable seat on the grass, I sighed, “I think I’m going to have to arrest you for trespassing.”

There was a loud gasp from the center of the pile, followed by a scuffle of flailing limbs among the foliage.

“You don’t own this leaf pile! I do! I am queen of the leaf pile!” she screeched.

“Alright Princess,” I subtly corrected, “whatever you say.”

As promised, I didn’t put up a fight. Even when she finally got a hold of my hands and dragged me into the madness with her. I followed her no matter what nonsense she demanded, just as she had with me so many times. Granted, my desires weren’t nearly as dangerous or strange. They were pretty much just a collection of foreign films and reading that always lulled her to sleep.

But that day there was no sign of her energy waning. The early sun faded and we kept going. I’m not sure how, but she managed to enjoy herself in the D.C. landscape of bars and blaring car horns despite not being able to indulge in anything herself. Although she did half-heartedly attempt to trick me into buying her drinks in several different establishments, I think she was honestly proud that I avoided the drinks altogether. It was a nice reminder that sobriety could be something enjoyed between the two of us, regardless of the environment. However, we didn’t let that stop us from jumping into a crowd of very drunk women who had insisted we join their haunted tour of the city.

“Are you scared?” she whispered into my ear. The feeling of her warm breath against my skin caused a shiver to run down my spine, ruining any credibility I had in my response.

“No. Why would I be scared? It’s just history.”

“Are you sure?” she asked again.

“Yes!” I insisted with the worst possible timing. Because just as soon as the word had left my lips, I felt the distinct sensation of fingers running down my neck and arm opposite to her. I was so convinced that’s what it was that I even spun around with a yelp, crashing into at least three different people just to find a very startled woman with the worst hung scarf I’d ever seen.

(Y/n) had already put two and two together and was lost in an absolute fit of laughter. There were already tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she doubled over, barely able to stand through it all. Because there I was, her 31-year-old FBI agent boyfriend, screaming over a scarf.

“Laugh it up,” I droned. And she did. She kept laughing through any attempts at a response, and after the initial embarrassment wore off, I couldn’t help but join her.

“I hope you know you chose me. You chose this man!” I shouted, gesturing to the people around us who had already forgotten about our shenanigans, “And everyone knows it!”

“I’m sorry I can’t—” she wheezed, pausing to take a necessary breath that was all lost with another bunch of giggles “—You’re a fucking FBI Agent!”

“Well I can’t shoot a ghost, can I?” I mumbled through the hit to my ego. But any suffering was quickly dealt with as she threw dramatic arms around my waist, pulling me close and protecting me from any other errant scarves that might show up.

“I love you so much,” she said.

“I’m glad you’re having fun,” I returned with a quick kiss on her forehead. And even if I implied otherwise, I think she knew that I was having just as good of a time as she was. In fact, it was one of the most relaxing days of my life, which was saying something, considering how much walking was involved.

But no matter how tired we both were, I still had one last place to take her. It took her a while to figure out why the route felt so familiar, but I wasn’t ready to ruin the surprise. I wanted to watch the realization dawn on her. She didn’t disappoint.

“The Mayflower?” she asked with a bit of a bashful laugh before looking up at me through narrowed eyes, “Feeling nostalgic, Dr. Reid?”

“Yeah, a little bit. Thought it was more romantic than the club,” I offered, trying to shrug off the nervous butterflies that burst through my stomach. “Not by much, mind you.”

Although I got the feeling that she didn’t know, or perhaps just didn’t remember, that wonderful night from almost a year ago was one of the most important days of my life. I knew it then, too. From the second I set my eyes on her from my pitiful place against the bar, I knew that she would ruin me.

“Nothing screams high end romance like an alley and a little light law breaking,” she sighed. I almost missed it, too preoccupied with the way her arm tugged me tighter so she could rest her head against my shoulder.

“I can take you home if you’d rather.”

“Hmmm. Depends,” she hummed. Then, turning her head up to me with that playful look that always turned me to putty in her hands, she purred, “How much longer do you think you can wait before you just have to have me?”

I sucked in a sharp, sarcastic breath, eyeing her just long enough for her to start to fume, I let out all the air with a defeated sigh, “I guess we’re staying.”

That serene sort of teasing continued past the reception desk and all the way up the elevator. If there were other people there, we didn’t bother noticing. We were too busy watching one another to even look away long enough to find our room. Doubling back through the dizzying hallways until we found the elusive number, we finally settled into the only vaguely familiar layout of beige and tan.

She was much quicker at it than I was. Before I’d even finished washing my hands and checking exposed skin for bugs that I was convinced had hitched a ride from the leaf pile, she was already stretched out on the bed in nothing but a tiny piece of lacy cotton and her favorite sweatshirt. The sight made me stop, lost for breath and logic of how I was lucky enough to be there with her again.

“See something you like, Dr. Reid?” she teased through giggles, no doubt recalling the same memory as me.

My answer didn’t need to be said, but I said it, anyway. She deserved to hear it.

“Yes.”

With arms outstretched, she sleepily begged, “Come here.”

But I couldn’t.

“Not yet… I just… I want to look at you like this a little bit longer.”

How could I move on from this moment, when it was the best I’d ever felt? So overwhelmingly safe and at home despite being in a strange, sterile room. I had no desire to move any inch of me if it meant that this image would persist for the rest of my days.

“You getting all romantic on me?”

“Always,” I chuckled. Her usual disgust for my sappy behavior didn’t show itself, overpowered by the gentle curve of her lips and hands that were becoming more and more insistent to be held. Eventually, I had to move, knowing that it was the only way to hold her.

My body reacted the way it always did when it found her. All of the tension dropped from tired shoulders, desperate to touch her more. To feel the imprint of her body pressed against mine, a mess of heat and need and love.

She was the one to kiss me first, and for a moment I let her do it without reciprocation. I wanted to feel how her touch became softer and shier as she realized what I was doing. That I was spending all of my energy memorizing the way her lips parted as she tried to hold back a giggle against my almost-still lips.

“What’s happening in that big genius brain of yours?” she murmured with eyes half open but still containing universes.

“I’m just thinking of all the things you’ve done to make me fall in love with you.”

I thanked all of the gods in every pantheon that made her too tired to tease. Instead, she just laughed, playing her part in bringing us back to that night we met.

“Like quote Picard?”

“We still haven’t watched Star Trek together,” I whined.

The sound must have stirred something new in her, because she rolled us over to take her seat on my lap. She hung over me, looking down at me, hopeless and breathless at the feel of her thighs under my hands. My heart started to race, but I didn’t know why.

It wasn’t until she spoke the words that were already running through my mind, “We’ve got time. Picard can wait.”

Everything about it was effortless. Our bodies had fallen together and mouths found each other exactly like every romance novel has ever tried to tackle the metaphor of gravity.

But if we were an orbit, it was not a binary like the traditional notion of two equal souls. Despite the nickname I’d chosen for her, nothing about her soul was small. And even though she burned bright, she wasn’t anything like the fiery combustion of a star.

She was a home. A thing so full of vitality and life that I would love to watch for whatever time I had left. I was just a moon, loyally following her and trying my best to shield her from whatever might try to harm her. To protect her when she needed rest and to lead the tides to kiss her when she wished. I would be her shadow, shining a light onto her even in the darkest time. All that I asked for in return was a spot beside her.

‘One day,’ she had said before, ‘if you will have me.’

But it was never a question. Not for me. And if she really needed me to answer it for her, I was happy to give her that. I hadn’t been waiting for even a year, but it felt like a lifetime.

“Yeah, he can,” I repeated, quiet and with such a heavy waver that I’m surprised she could understand the shifting inflections. Even if she didn’t, she knew that something had changed in those few seconds of silence.

“What’s up, Spencer?”

I didn’t know how to answer. How to explain what I was feeling. But I grabbed hold of one hand, clinging desperately to her and guiding her to the heart that felt dangerously light. The rapid pace of its beating still not enough to alert her of the true cacophony of my thoughts.

“Are you okay?”

The answer was yes. Because no matter how loud and chaotic the sounds inside my head were, they all lead me to the same conclusion.

“Picard can wait, and we have a lot of time,” I tried to explain through a dry throat that was only growing tighter with the unwieldy weight of the feeling.

“Yes…” she mumbled back, just as trepidatious and nervous as I was.  

Just like I was. Because we were. We were connected by some force, whatever you want to call it. Whether it was a chemical or psychological or heavenly connection, I didn’t care. I wanted her to know how I felt. To know that there was nothing that would ever tear me away from her.

“But I don’t… I don’t think I want to wait.”

After a couple more seconds of silence, she answered with a knowing stare, “… What?”

From my position underneath her, I was able to reach over just enough to grab my jacket. Of course, it helped that she moved with me, clearly curious and terrified of the possibilities. But a good kind of terror… I hoped.

My confidence grew as her legs gripped tighter around my hips and her hands shot up to cover her chest with balled fists pressed against one another. I heard the friction of her skin as her body started to shake in a different way, with an adrenaline that I hadn’t seen from her in even the most dangerous situations.

But when I pulled a small velvet box from the internal pocket, everything stopped. She became completely still. Her eyes were wide and frozen on the object in my hands, only to look away when she heard my voice.

“(Y/n).”

“Where did you get that?” she asked like she hadn’t just seen me pull it from my jacket. The same jacket that I wore every time that I was with her. The wool fabric that she’d swaddled herself in on a number of occasions, none the wiser of how much heavier it was for me when I wore it.

“I know this is really random, a-and to be fair, I wasn’t expecting it, either,” I said through the most awkward laughs I’d ever produced (which was saying something), “I mean, I knew I wanted to marry you, I’ve known that for quite some time, hence the ring.”

I paused, but got nothing in response. Nothing except her lips quivering from their parted position, and her nose twitching as she tried to settle on just one expression. But it didn’t matter how she contorted her face; they were all exactly as they should be. Because they were all her.

“But today, with you… I-I’ve never been that happy in my life. Jumping in leaves and fighting over fall flavors and I—“

Her eyes stopped bouncing, settling with my gaze and robbing my lungs of all air. She made up her mind, deciding to leave everything exactly as it was. The honest truth of the overwhelming storm of every emotion that had been experienced in the little time we had shared together.

The knowing that everything had happened exactly as it should have to bring us here.

“I love you so much,” I whispered, careful to make every word as genuine as they were, “And I know that we have all the time in the world left with one another… but I don’t want to wait any longer for you to be my wife.”

“Ask me,” she answered immediately and abruptly.  


“Okay,” I laughed, endlessly entertained by how she could sound so aggressive even when we were both at our most vulnerable, caught in the nexus of our love.

“Um… Will you… marry me?”

There was no hesitation. No worry, no fear, and no doubt.

“Yes, you stupid old man!” she outright screamed, throwing arms around me even when it meant we both slammed against pillows and the headboard. She didn’t stop squealing even when she kissed me, struggling to find more of me to hold onto.

After she decided that tugging on my hair was the best way to express her affection, I managed to break away just long enough to shout, “Wait! I have to put the ring on you!”

“Then put it on!” she yelled, thrusting her hand in front of my face and practically slapping me in the process. But none of the pain mattered. Nothing was even recognizable outside of the feeling of her sweaty, shaking palm resting against my fingers.

I noticed for the first time that I was also trembling. I took the time to focus, slipping the ring over her finger. But once it started to safely slide into place, my eyes returned to watch what I knew to be happy tears fall over her cheeks. I wiped them away, but they were replaced with the wetness from my face when she brought us together again with a long, gentle kiss.

A calmness came over the room like the feeling following a storm. A clean slate with soil enriched for growth. A hope for a future forever changed.

“What do we do now?” she asked, biting her bottom lip and holding tight to my hands.

The answer seemed clear enough.

“Whatever we want.”

 —————————————————

 Is this really happening?

I stared at the diamond shining back at me with a clarity that had to be a metaphor for my heart. In the vague reflection of yellow light and us, I felt a warmth that doesn’t normally accompany metal. My finger’s new companion felt so comfortable in its new resting place. A constant reminder of the man I called home.

Then I turned back to him, unsure how I was supposed to move on from this moment. I never wanted to leave, but I also needed to move. I compromised and settled with my face against his chest, listening to the heartbeat he’d just dedicated to me. In that peaceful quiet, I heard him speak so softly I wasn’t sure I was meant to hear it.

But I did.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he said with fingers dancing through the ends of my hair, “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

And for once, the thought didn’t feel like a burden. In fact, it felt like freedom. I was finally free to be who I was without worry that I would be alone. Without worrying that I would be too much or too little to please him.

I was enough.

Enough.

“I love you,” I said, tasting salt from tears I hadn’t even noticed were falling.

Curiously, and in a rare role switch, Spencer was the one who took a blatantly affectionate display and turned it into something else. Pulling me away from his chest, he dragged me up until he could drag his lips over my jaw.

“Don’t cry, little girl,” he cooed with what I could only imagine was a wicked grin, “I haven’t given you a reason to yet.”

Something about that gruff rumble in his throat caused my skin to ripple with goosebumps. Every inch of me burned with flames that could only be put out by his touch. I chased after his lips with my own, but he was insistent on trailing down my throat. He knew I would be powerless to him. I wouldn’t be able to argue when my hands were knotted in his hair and my hips were already rocking helplessly against his erection.

“I want you to fuck me,” I seethed. My blood was boiling from the heat I felt within, and before he could even answer I was already working at the buttons on his shirt.

“Oh? You don’t want me to make love to you?” Spencer laughed. As if that had ever been our style.

“No, I want you to take what’s yours.”

He responded to the demand by pushing me from my seat, forcing me onto my back on the other end of the bed. I wasn’t going to complain, either. The new position allowed me access to his belt, which I unbuckled before he even had time to laugh.  

“Are you really challenging me right now, little girl?”

But despite the taunt, he did nothing to stop me. His hands were also busy removing my clothes. And just like before, our nakedness was reciprocated. With each lost layer, I should have felt lighter, but I didn’t. I felt so powerful, so aware of how our bare bodies twined together.

“Here, of all places? Do you remember what I did to you that night?”

How could I ever forget?

“I’m not the same girl you had in your bed then,” I purred. We both knew it was true, although not in the way I was implying.

Because Spencer had changed me. Irrevocably. He taught me so much — not just about physics, literature, or criminology, either. He taught me about kindness, softness, and vulnerability. He taught me how to trust that someone could hold me without the intention of letting me go. More than anything, he taught me that I didn’t have to learn these things alone. Even the smartest man I’d ever met needed help with them sometimes.

Then again, something told me that Spencer wasn’t in a very humble mood. Perhaps it was the fact he’d pinned me down again, with his hands clumsily gripping hard enough to leave crescent moons in my forearms.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” he growled with a small, chaste kiss, “You’re still just a fucking brat.”

I wasn’t feeling bratty then, though. Especially not as I felt the head of his cock pressed against me, just hard enough to feel the resistance of my body. He waited there, no doubt taking pleasure in the way my whole body squirmed underneath him. My hips bucked, but he managed to keep a cruelly steady distance.

“You’re so precious when you’re needy,” he mumbled. And although I stubbornly avoided looking him in the eyes out of protest, he forced my face towards him again, anyway. “Go on. Say please.”

“Fuck off,” I whined through a prominent pout that did me no favors.

“Say it.”

“Please!”

I managed to make eye contact, but it was fleeting. As soon as he thrust forward into me, my back arched and I lost myself in the pillows. My hands found him, though, leaving angry red welts over heated skin. If Spencer was at all affected by the pain, he made no showing of it. His pace continued, steadily forcing our bodies together until I trembled in his hands.

He would hold me there, at my limit but not pleading for him to do anything different. With tender hands, he would fuck me until I swore bruises would follow. But I never felt unsafe; I felt cared for and cherished in a way I’d never known. I trusted him to know my limits better than myself.

I trusted him with all of me because I had already seen that when given the chance, he would do whatever he could to protect me.

The love I felt must have shone through my eyes because his hips got slower, drawing out each movement. My hips rose in tandem with his, allowing me to feel every inch of him inside of me.

“This body belongs to me now and forever,” he whispered.

It always has.

“You belong to me.”

And I felt it. The undeniable string of fate that tied us to each other. I could feel his every emotion as his fingers brushed over my throat. I melted under his touch, completely consumed by the love he felt for me. The kind of love that people spent their whole lives searching for only to come up empty. That powerful thing that drove gods to war and men to madness.

The only feeling that could tear down every wall that had been carefully crafted to protect myself. Because I didn’t need them anymore. Spencer’s arms would take their place, holding me through the storms that might follow the same way he had carried me through the ones that led us here.

“Yes,” I breathed, “I’m yours.”

For forever and whatever comes after.

The words were truer than they’d ever been before, and Spencer took it as permission to let go of any remaining hesitation. The slow, gentle thrusts became faster and our moans echoed in the small room without a second thought to the poor patrons in the rooms surrounding us. Because if they felt what we did, they would understand. Spencer still tried to hush the sounds, crashing his lips over mine in a sloppy, frenzied kiss.

I was suddenly reminded of every romantic story I’d ever heard. They all spoke of feeling so close to someone that they felt like an extension of yourself. I wasn’t sure if it was completely true, but there was no denying how at home our bodies were. The way our tongues wrapped around one another and how our noses bumped so gently in the chaos was unmatched by any meeting driven by lust or need.

His hips met mine over and over again, no matter how hard I tried to keep him closer. Even when my hips chased his to be held longer, Spencer was persistent in the ruthless pace. Because like me, he was lost in the euphoria. I knew it from the sound of his whimpers and the way he bit my lip just a little bit harder.

“Tell me what you want, little girl,” he begged. Not ordered. Begged.

“You,” I answered without any doubt, “I just want you.”

His response came even faster, even more desperate and scratchy as it came through his lips into mine.

“You have me. For the rest of my life and whatever comes after, I will take care of you.”

There was nothing left to say. I could feel the truth and force behind the words as he fucked me harder, eliciting one more quiet cry from me in the sound of his name.

“Spencer...”

When he returned the call, though, it wasn’t with any name I’d heard from him before.

“So you better get used to this feeling,” he said through a smile that I felt on my lips before he drew back. He looked me in the eye as he buried himself in me, tensing to hold himself back just a few seconds longer. To see the look on my face and let that be the feeling of us giving in to each other for the first time in our new story.

“Because I’m never going to grow tired of this, Mrs. Reid.”

Mrs. Reid.

That was going to be my name.

Mrs. Reid.

That was the only thought running through my mind as I felt the coil in my gut snap and all of my muscles tense around him. There were no whorish sounds left in my lungs, only little whimpers and whines as I tried to claw him closer. Spencer gave up his visual in exchange for kissing me while he finished. My walls held him so tightly that I felt each pulse and every place where his release filled me. But nothing was more compelling than feeling the way his lip quivered between mine as his body fell onto mine with no grace required.

Spencer could act hard all he wanted, but I felt the way he craved softness. Safety. Love. All things I was happy to give… for a price.

“Say it again.”

“Say what again?” he replied sleepily but animated enough to have a healthy dose of snark. Snark that earned him a rough nudge of my elbow into his ribs.

“You know!”

But naturally, the genius had to play dumb. With a happy little hum, he snuggled closer to me, burying his face into my neck so he could mumble against the skin, “You’ll have to be more specific.”

“Please,” I sighed, “for me?”

He seemed to contemplate the plea for a little while longer, with wiggling toes I felt against my shins and a happy sigh that breezed over my neck. I tried to take in those small things while I waited, knowing that while I had a lifetime to learn them, this moment would never come again.

“Fine,” he finally settled, propping himself up to give another soft kiss followed by the most beautiful sound in the world.

“Only for you, Mrs. Reid.”

 ——  The Next Morning ——

 Waking up next to Spencer with a ring on my finger was literally waking up to find my dream come to life. And sure, his light snoring and constant wriggling under the sheets he continued to pull off of me weren’t perfect or picturesque, but they were real. The same way that he chirped when he felt my legs wrap around him in his sleep and only woke when he heard me giggling.

His eyes fluttered open, taken aback by something that he saw. Although I would blame it on the sunlight filtering through the curtains, I was sure that he would give me all the credit.

“Good morning,” he slurred.  

“Hi,” I answered with a smile and an attempt to pull him closer. But my hand was stopped by his, squeezing my palm between his fingers before dragging my knuckles to his lips. From there, he laid a gentle kiss over the diamond he’d placed there the night before. Although it was strange to be outshone by a rock, I let it go for now.

“I know you shouldn’t sleep with it on, but it’s so nice to see it’s still there,” he said with a heavy breath before lowering our still joined hands to rest against his heart. I could feel the way it beat a little bit quicker as I came closer, and I wondered if this was really what it would be like forever.

“I couldn’t resist wearing it.”

“You know you can still change your mind, right? We haven’t told anyone.”

“I haven’t changed my mind,” I replied unlike every time before. There was no teasing, no joke or anger or sadness. Just a pure, unadulterated joy.

… Of course, the question did bring up an entirely new anxiety. It did feel a bit silly, but it needs to be expressed.

“Have you?”

“God, no,” he laughed. Like he’d only asked the question to see the way I might panic. But as soon as I heard his assurance, I knew it was the truth.

My mind started to drift back to that first morning we spent together. It felt like a lifetime ago, but everything still felt so very much the same. I wondered if there were things I would change if given the chance. It wasn’t until after I ran through the laundry list of things that we would have been better off without that I realized I’d asked the wrong question.

It wasn’t a matter of what I would have changed, but what I would have kept the same. And the answer was simple. No matter what I would face in my life, I just wanted it to be with him. Everything would be okay as long as I had him.

However, when I tried to kiss him, Spencer still seemed hung up on the things he would have changed. Our lips didn’t connect for even ten seconds before he broke apart, happily laughing through the words, “This is so much better when I’m not hungover.”

“Old man.”

He didn’t argue back, wiggling under the sheets until our chests were pressed together. I took it as a very poor attempt at a power play, because instead of craning my neck to look up at him from my spot, I simply climbed his lanky figure until our noses were pressed together.

“Your old man now,” he corrected, followed by my own clarification of, “You were always mine, Dr. Reid.”

“But now you get to show everyone.” He grinned, letting go of my hand to roam over the curves of my body. His daily attempts to memorize each version of me he held. After a few more moments of silent reverence, I asked the question we’d have to face eventually, lest we face even more awkward, embarrassing moments with the team.

“Who’s gonna tell everyone?”

He barely even considered the options before he shrugged.

“Let’s just… wing it.”

I paused, certain that I’d heard it wrong. “You, Spencer Reid, would like to ‘wing it?’” I repeated, barely able to get the words out without laughing from the absurdity of it all.

But he was quick to assure me, “Yeah, I do.”

“Alright. Whatever you say,” I sighed. I figured that it wouldn’t be worth it to plan right now, anyway. It wasn’t exactly our style. If anything, we would find the perfect time completely by accident.

“You know what we should do first though?” I excitedly announced to the best audience a girl could ever ask for.

“What?”

“Coffee,” I drawled. To which he quickly answered, “I love you an ungodly amount.”

Taking full advantage of that admission, I shoved the poor soul who’d shackled himself to me forever away as I ordered, “Go turn it on. I am craving shitty hotel coffee in bed with my fiancé.”

“Fine,” he resigned with a smile while rolling out of the bed, “Spoiled brat.”

“Your spoiled brat!” I shouted back from safe under the covers that I could finally get back in his absence. They weren’t as good as him, but they would be enough for now. I buried my face into his pillow, snickering as I heard a very tired Spencer call from the bathroom, “Forever mine!”

Just as the sounds of running water filled the room, I lifted my head at the distant sound of familiar chiming beside me.

“Is that my phone?”

I didn’t answer, paralyzed in my place as I felt the most intense sensation of deja vu I’d ever experienced. Right there on the nightstand, I saw the name Hotchner.

Spencer was quicker this time to leave the bathroom, but just as he turned the corner, a thought must have stopped him. Because he paused, staring at me with hotel sheets gathered around me and his phone against my ear.  

He didn’t try to fight me for the device. In fact, he didn’t move at all, watching from a few feet away with a smile I’d never seen before. The kind that I felt so deep inside of me that I realized this was what they meant to share a soul with someone.

 “Hello,” I spoke softly and filled with love, “this is Mrs. Reid.”

 The End.

—————————————————

Epilogue

[coltsbitch]

small world ~ colt grice x reader

colt grice x reader; 3.7k words; nsfw summary: colt didn’t purposely sleep with falco’s teacher

masterlist

Colt is a responsible person. He’s caring, polite, never late. All the qualities of a good person.

He is not the type of person to fuck his younger brother’s third grade teacher.

But let’s back track to that night.

Colt had finally given into Porco’s insistent pestering, who had even roped Reiner in to watching Falco for the night and let himself be dragged to a bar.

“Alright, who’s the prey for tonight?”

Colt grimaces, “I thought we were here to drink.”

Porco slaps a hand on Colt’s back, “How long has it been since you got laid?”

Colt rolls his eyes, and shrugs off Porco’s hand, “Kind of hard when you have custody of a nine-year-old.”

“Pokko, leave Colt alone.” Pieck sets down the drinks she retrieved from the bar, “We’re just happy you could come out tonight.”

“Thanks, Pieck.” It had been a rough year and a half for the Grice brothers, losing both their parents in one night and Colt having to drastically shift his life in order to care for Falco. Not that he’s bitter about, would give his life for Falco if he had to, but doesn’t make it any easier.

“But if you are looking for someone, I have a couple friends I could set you up with?”

Colt groans, dropping his head into his hand.

“Babe, he doesn’t need a relationship, he needs a fuck.”

Pieck raises her brow, “And what do you have against relationships, Porco?”

Porco’s eyes widen hearing his full name come from Pieck’s mouth, “Nothing! Nothing babe!” He pulls her into his lap, “Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

Pieck scoffs before returning her attention to Colt, “So what’s new?”

The three spend the next couple hours catching up, Colt filling them on Falco, Porco making lewd jokes, and Pieck reprimanding him with swats to his head.

By Colt’s third drink Pieck’s eyes are dropping and she’s practically asleep on Porco’s shoulder, who’s trying to shake her awake.

“Such a light wight.” Porco is muttering, but there’s a lace of affection, “You don’t mind if we head out?”

Colt waves him off, “I’ll probably finish this last one and then get home too.”

Porco nods, “Let me know when you get home.” Colt smiles at his friend who underneath many layers of roughness, is truly a caring guy.

Colt watches as Porco practically carries Pieck out the door. He picks at the label on his bottle, wondering if Falco is asleep by now or if Reiner indulged him with too many sweets and might still be bouncing off the walls.

Colt downs the rest of his drink and moves to stand but is interrupted from his thoughts when someone slides into booth across from him.

“You get ditched too?”

Colt freezes, “I, what?”

You crinkle you nose, “Sorry, that’s probably weird. I just saw your friends leave and thought, that’s something we have in common.”

Colt doesn’t answer, can’t answer. Because here sitting in front of him is this gorgeous woman who quite literally came out of nowhere. And maybe it’s the alcohol making his eyesight fuzzy around the edges, but you look like a goddess with the neon lights of the bar hanging over you.

You bite your lip, hoping to still salvage this, “I’m ___.” You extend your hand, glad to see he is at least able to shake it back.

“I’m Colt. Sorry.” He shakes his head, “Just wasn’t expecting anyone else.” He gives an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his neck, “Umm, so your friends left you?”

You settle into the booth, “Yeah. It was supposed to be my post break up girl’s night, but they all quickly found someone else to spend it with.”

“Sorry about the breakup?”

You wave your hand, “I’m over it. Cheating bastard wasn’t worth my time anyway. But what about you? You part of the lonely hearts club too?”

Colt laughs, “No, I mean, I guess I am. But it’s just been a rough year.”

You hum, and Colt’s thankful you don’t press further, not wanting to unload on the first pretty girl who’s looked his way in the last year, “Let me buy you a drink?”

Colt opens his mouth to politely decline, thinking about Reiner who’s waiting at his apartment for him to get back. But there’s something about the small smile on your face and shinning eyes that has him following you to the bar where you order two beers for each of you.

Now Colt will be honest, he knows he’s pretty helpless when it comes to flirting. Never quite sure what to say or how to say it. He’s watched his friends for years, even tried to get lessons from Zeke when he was in high school, but it’s all been for naught.

So with the way you’re laughing at all his jokes, even the one he knows aren’t that funny, and your knee that keeps knocking into his, or how you’ll accidentally place your hand on top of his before quickly pulling back.

There’s no way this is all in his head.

“I’m going to run to the bathroom really quick. You’re not going to bail on me, are you?”

“I’ll be right here when you get back.” Colt smiles. You bite your lip giving him a once over, causing Colt to flush under your gaze.

You nod and walk in the direction of the restrooms, and Colt throws a glance over his shoulder, seeing that you’re already looking at him as you push the door open.

What the fuck is he doing?

Colt needs to get home. He needs to prep Falco’s lunch for tomorrow, the laundry needs to be moved to the dryer, double check Falco’s homework, not to mention finish that project his supervisor has been hounding him for at work.

But Colt glances over his shoulder again and sees you still haven’t left the bathroom.

Fuck. Is he going to do this? That was a clear signal, right?

Colt flexes his hands a couple times before standing from his seat and making his way to the restrooms. It’s in a dark corner of the bar, and he double checks that no one is looking before pushing open the door.

You’re standing there with your arms crossed leaning against the sink. Your head pops up at the sound of the door opening and a grin splits out onto your face.

“Fuck.” You say, “I wasn’t sure if I was being obvious enough.”

Colt stands awkwardly, “I’m glad I wasn’t misreading it.”

You grab Colt’s hand and pull him into one of the stalls, locking the door behind you.

“What if we get caught?” Colt whispers.

You shrug, “I guess we’ll have to be quick.” You chew on your lip watching Colt process your words and the situation he’s found himself in.

He nods, face determined, looking like he’s about to enter a war or something. You giggle at his seriousness, threading your fingers through his belt loops and pulling him flush against your body.

Deciding the best way to move this along is to get right to it. Pressing your lips against his you wrap your arms around his waist, hands finding their way past his shirt, and you’re surprised to find the taught muscles that hide underneath.

Colt cups your cheeks and it’s sweet, the way he kisses you deeply. But that’s not why you seduced him into this grimy bathroom stall.

You sneak your hand down to his ass, gripping one cheek and giving it a tight squeeze, which earns you a desperate whimper and a sharp grind.

You let out a surprised laugh that turns into a moat when one of Colt’s hands lifts your leg around his hip and pins you against the stall. Colt pulls away to gasp and you use the opportunity to begin your assault on his neck.

He has to press his hand into the stall above you to ground himself, the kisses you trail along his neck not letting him think straight, but he needs to get this one thought out before he can continue anything.

“Wait, wait.” Colt puts a little distance between your bodies, “I don’t want you to think, I mean, I can’t commit to anything right now.”

You humor him with a smile, “Colt. I’m about to fuck you in a dirty bar bathroom, I’m not looking for a proposal or anything.”

“Oh, okay. Good, I guess.”

You roll your eyes, “You’ve never done this before, have you?”

Colt’s cheeks darken, “Made out with someone I met thirty minutes ago? No.”

You run your hand down his chest, and back up behind his neck, “I hope we’ll end up doing more than just making out.”

“Umm, right.” Colt grunted, “Uh, do you have a condom?”

You smile and pick up your purse dropped at your feet, pulling out the latex square. Colt reaches to take it from your hand, but you pull your hand back, “Let me.”

Colt swallows and nods, watching as you reach down to his belt, undoing the buckle. You work your speedy hands, unzipping his pants and pushing down his underwear.

You glance up as you’re ripping open the package, but Colt isn’t looking at you. His eyes are transfixed on where your one hand is resting close to his newly exposed cock. Taking pity, you grasp his shaft, giving a firm tug.

Colt shudders and thrusts into your hand, “Please.” He whines.

You roll the condom down his cock, rolling your thumb over the head when it’s situated, before turning around to face the door.

A beat passes and you glance over your shoulder wondering what the holdup is.

Colt’s cheeks are a dark pink as he stares at you.

“Well?” You ask, pressing your ass into his crotch.

Colt grabs your hips to hold you still. He doesn’t want this to be over before you even have your pants off.

The two of you work together to lower your jeans, pushing them down to your knees. He traces the line of your panties with a delicate finger, captivated by the pretty lace.

“Maybe if you do a good job, I’ll let you keep them.” You tease.

Colt chokes on a laugh, realizing you caught him in his transfixed state. He pulls down the lace to bundle with your jeans and can’t help himself when he reaches around your hip and dips a finger into your folds.

You moan at the contact when he brushes against your clit that’s been ignored all night. You don’t have anything to grab onto as he spreads the wetness along your cunt, so you ball your hands into tight fists.

“So wet.” Colt praises in astonishment, “Barely touched you.” He pushes two fingers into your cunt and thickness has you curling your toes.

“C’mon.” You whine, “We’re running out of time.” You’re really just desperate for his damn cock to fill you up already, but you don’t want to beg.

“Fuck.” Colt mutters, as if realizing he can’t take his time like he wants to, like you deserve.

Pulling your hips back and pushing you down a little, Colt lines himself up. The heat radiating from your pussy makes his head spin a little. But he pushes himself in slowly, inch by inch. And you have to stand there and take it, the door in front of you making it impossible to escape.

He lets out a groan when he bottoms out, and you squirm as his balls brush against your clit.

Colt’s arm wraps around your stomach, pulling you up against him as starts to thrust shallowly.

One of your hand flies to his arm, nails digging in when he hits a spot deep in you. Still bracing yourself against the door you let you head fall forward trying to suppress a groan.

Colt shushes you, kissing the back of your neck, “Need to keep quiet, right?” You nod meeting his thrusts, a particularly sharp thrust making you clench and Colt moans into your hair.

“I thought we needed to be quiet.” You tease.

Colt has a snarky comment on his tongue but holds it back when the door opens, sound from the bar spilling in. You both freeze. It’s pretty obvious what’s happening if someone were to look under the crack of the door, but you’re also in the last stall.

Both of your hearts are beating loudly in your chests as the sounds of someone washing off spilled beer on their shirt reaches you.

“Quiet.” Colt whispers in your ear that has you nodding along. But the thrill of getting caught reignites the flame in your core and you can’t even stop your body from rolling back on his cock.

“Fuck.” You harshly mutter, eyes rolling into the back of your head. The feeling only amplified when Colt shoves his fingers in your mouth, the same fingers that were deep in your cunt, now covered in your cream that’s assaulting your senses.

Your muffled moans test Colt’s patience while he waits for the person to exit the bathroom. And the second he hears the door shut, he’s slamming into you with a speed and power you didn’t think the blushing man had in himself.

“Such a tease.” Colt gets out between clenched teeth, his hands sliding down your front to rub tight circles at your clit.

You squeak at the sensation, unable to hold back your orgasm any longer, clenching and spasming around his cock that has Colt tipping over the edge with you. But Colt doesn’t let up, thrusting through his orgasm and still playing with your clit.

“Colt!” You yelp, having to rip his hand away from your body, unable to withstand the stimulation any longer. But he grabs your hand and locks it against the bathroom stall while he gives you a few more hard thrusts.

You cry out, tears filling your eyes while he slows behind you. Colt presses a kiss to your cheek as he pulls out, and you miss the fullness. You close your eyes, trying to catch your breath. You can feel Colt behind you trying to situate himself. Even going as far to pull your pants up for you too.

You huff out a laugh at his chivalry, “What a gentleman.” You tease, buttoning your pants, “I guess you don’t want my panties then?” You ask over your shoulder.

Colt blushes, which warms your chest, as if he wasn’t just balls deep in you, “So it was good then?”

You turn to press a kiss to his cheek, “Yeah, you did good.”

“Good.” Colt nods, “Umm, it was for me too.”

You smile at his awkwardness, “Good. So, did you want to finish our drinks?”

Colt’s face drops, “I should probably get home, actually. But maybe,”

“No worries.” You wave him off, ignoring and not dwelling on why that disappoints you a little. You unlock the door and step out of the stall, glad to see you’re still alone.

Colt follows you out and looks like he wants to say more but decides against it, “Right. I’ll see you around?”

“Maybe.” You look over your shoulder at the door, “I’ll go out first?” Colt nods, “Okay, well. Thanks again, for everything.”

Colt smiles and you feel a little weak in the knees and like you could go for another round all over again. Readjusting your purse, you press a quick kiss to Colt’s lips before heading out the door, not looking back. And Colt isn’t surprised when he returns to the bar to see you’ve already left, but none the less slightly disappointed at the fact.

Colt manages to make it home just a little after midnight. He quietly opens and closes the door, praying not to wake anyone. Reiner is sitting in the on the couch watching a silent television.

“Falco asleep?” Colt whispers, toeing off his shoes and hanging his jacket on the hook.

Reiner nods and flips off the television, “Crashed a couple hours ago. He was trying to stay up until you got home, but just couldn’t do it.”

Colt feels a brief flash of guilt but shakes it away.

“Thanks again. I know Porco roped you into it, but thanks.” Colt isn’t good at accepting help from others, especially when it comes to Falco, but his friends usually don’t take no for an answer.

“Don’t worry about it.” Reiner waves him off, “You have fun tonight?”

Colt shrugs, “It was nice.”

Reiner gives a noncommittal hum, eyeing Colt as he pauses at the door, “Might want to wash the lipstick off your neck before getting into bed.” Colt chokes on nothing as Reiner’s shoulders shake with laughter, “See ya later.”

The rest of the weekend Colt tries and fails to push you from his thoughts. Yeah, he was the one who made it clear it was a one-time thing, and maybe it’s because he hasn’t gotten laid in so long, but he’s really wishing he had at least asked for your phone number.

Monday morning he drives Falco to school, and he’s contemplating texting Porco about going to the same bar again this weekend, with the off chance you might be there again.

“Bye Colt!” Falco screams slamming the door. Colt winces at the sound, swearing one of these days that boy was going to break off the door. Out of habit he checks the back seat, and Colt has to repress a groan when he sees Falco left behind his superhero lunchbox.

Colt peers out the window to see Falco is already long gone, somewhere in the mess of children who are running around the playground for the few minutes they have before the bell rings.

He knows he’ll get a tearful phone call later if he doesn’t get the lunch box to Falco, so Colt resigns himself to being late to work and pulls into the parking lot.

Lunch box in hand Colt walks towards the playground, hoping that Falco will see him and make this detour faster than it needs to be. Colt is fiddling with the lock, making sure it’s secure which makes him walk straight into the playground monitor.

“Shit.” Colt mutters “Sorry, I wasn’t watching-” But the rest dies in his throat when he sees it’s you standing in the bright orange vest.

You’re just as surprised to see Colt standing in front of you. Thrown and honestly a little concerned as why the fuck he would be here at your elementary school.

“Colt?” You ask.

“Umm. Hi?”

You give him a once over, appreciating the button down and slacks he’s wearing today, also taking note of the children’s lunch box in his hands. A bit too old to be at this school, but also a little too young to have a child here, you think.

“Colt!” You both turn at the sound, and you realize it’s one of your sweetest students sprinting towards you, calling his name.

Falco comes to a halt, “Is that my lunch box?” He asks, grabbing it before Colt can even answer.

“You forgot it.” Colt is able to choke out, eyes jumping back and forth between you and Falco.

Falco follows his older brother’s eyes and realizes you’re standing with them. Somehow having missed the vibrant orange safety vest you have thrown around you shoulders, honestly making you a little self-conscious that this is what Colt is seeing you in after this weekend.

Not that you care what he thinks of you. You’re not looking for anything right now.

“Ms.___?” Falco pulls on your hand, “Do you know Colt?” You open your mouth, unsure how to respond, not like you could explain it to the nine-year-old.

“I’m Falco’s brother.” Colt sticks out his hand, which seems like an overkill to you since he’s literally been inside you.

“Oh.” You say, taking his hand, well aware of the Grice family situation. And your heart clenches at the thought, making a little bit more sense why he was so firm about letting you know Friday night was a onetime thing.

You’re spared from saying anything when the bell rings, signaling the start of school.

“Sounds like you better get to class.” Colt tells Falco.

Falco pouts, sad he wasted his last few minutes talking to his brother and teacher, “Okay.” But still takes the time to hug his brother, “Thanks for my lunch box!” Before sprinting towards the entrance.

You clear your throat, “Falco’s a good student.” Mentally face palming yourself for the awkward comment.

Colt’s eyes widen, “You’re Falco’s teacher?” You nod while Colt mutters out a curse, earning a giggle from you, “This is awkward, right?”

You nod, “A little.” You chew on your lip, unsure what to say, but realize most of the students have cleared out, and it’s probably not the best to leave your thirty students unsupervised for too long, “Well, I need to-”

“I know this-”

You both stop while the other tries to talk, quietly laughing. “You go.”

Colt rubs the back of his neck, “I know we both agreed to a one-time thing, but I think I’d hate myself if I didn’t ask for your number.”

Your mouth parts, “Oh.” And Colt flushes, “Umm.” You avert your eyes, “It’s just, your brother is in my class and I try not to mix personal life with work.” You stumble over your words.

Colt flushes further, “Right, sorry. That was rude of me to ask, especially here.” Colt glances at the ground.

You chew on your lip, still thinking it over. It’s not that you don’t want to see Colt again. But he is the guardian of one of your students and you just got out of long relationship, not looking to jump into another right away.

“Maybe I can get yours?” You offer, and Colt’s head shoots up, eyes a little wide, “I mean, incase Falco forgets his lunch again?” A small smile playing on your lips, holding your phone out.

“Right.” Colt agrees, typing his number in, “He’s very forgetful. And it’s not like he’ll be in your class forever.” Colt says but it comes across as a hopeful question.

You have to bite your cheek to keep from smiling too wide at his forwardness, accepting your phone back, “I’ll see you around Colt.”