#MAJOR LOSER ALERT

[hufflepotato-18]

ALL THAT AND HE STILL LOST

[helldreamz]

nothing will ever make me want to never want to go onto the internet ever again than sending an ask and not clicking anonymous </3

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday - Johnny Storm

Summary: Johnny is a natural when it comes to cyber security but he has to tread lightly.

Warnings: None at this point. Please let me know if I missed any.

Part 2

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

“Hey, G, Geralt, did you get those latest security patches tested?” Johnny never bothered to knock on the cubicle the testers shared. They'd asked to be called by their last names, Hunter and Rivia, to avoid confusion with the double G names but Johnny preferred to be on a first name basis. Though no one actually knew G's full first name outside of management.

“Is the update still scheduled to go live today?” G asked, not looking from his screen. “Yeah,” Johnny replied.

“And are our initials on the code updates?” Geralt growled, also not looking away from his screen.

“Yeah.”

“Then we've tested them. Why are you bothering us?” G monotones before taking a sip from his coffee.

“Because you know how much I love annoying you two,” Johnny said with a smile. “How's the bug count going?”

“I'm ahead by three,” Geralt says with a bit of pride in his voice.

The two testers had a “friendly” competition every month to see who could find and resolve the most bugs. Pine and Syverson allowed it only because it never escalated beyond veiled threats of bodily harm from the loser. No one outside of the two was ever really sure what the stakes were but Johnny figured they must be incredibly good.

“Way to go,” Johnny congratulated. “G's got his work cut out for him.”

“If I give you one of the cookies I got from the vending machine will you go away?” G sighed, still not looking away from his screen.

“Yes,” Johnny nods emphatically. Still not looking away from his computer G grabs the small roll of cookies and tosses one to Johnny who immediately consumes it. “Love the sugar. Thanks! Happy hunting!”

Johnny settled himself into his “war cave” as he called his cubicle on release days. He's got energy drinks, candy bars, and occasional “healthy” meals to keep his stomach from getting too upset.

New security updates means new attempts by hackers. He's gotta be on high alert for at least the first day, if not the rest of the week. He's got his work computer with his credentials and his laptop with his own TheHumanTorch69. Going back and forth between the two of them allowed for a two-pronged defense against would-be hackers.

In truth, there was one username in particular he was looking for: DarkAngel2000. She was always the biggest threat to the firewall. He'd taken great pains to befriend her using his personal credentials without earning her suspicion. He pretends to work with her to break everything but, in fact, uses the intel to counter her on his work account. It's a difficult line to walk, not being too obvious, trying to appear actually helpful, but he's gotten good at it. The sugar rush definitely helps.

He gets a notification on his personal account:

DarkAngel2000: ready to party? TheHumanTorch69: always! DarkAngel2000: got ur sugar rush started? TheHumanTorch69: way ahead of u DarkAngel2000: let the games begin!

For the next several hours Johnny goes into a bit of a trance as he gets to work in his two-faced role. It's almost a dance, well, more of a mosh-pit, but he's got the skills to navigate it.

You're taking notes on your conversation with TheHumanTorch69 and seeing if you can find correlation with the company drone account you keep seeing countering your hacking attempts. You're certain there's more to Torch than what he's telling you. He might even be this JStorm account from the company but you need evidence.

You need to be careful. Torch is a good coder, one of the best you've worked with. But ever since you started working with him, the vast majority of your plans have gone south. You don't appreciate being duped and if it turns out Torch has been playing you, there will be repercussions.

Part 2

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging @alicedopey; @darsynia; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82 ; @ronearoundblindly

[sunsetcougar]

Time for more of the Lyrebird AU~

Sir Pentious and Vaggie eventually come up with a plan. The gates are 100% being guarded, so she needs a distraction to get through them without immediately being tackled. Luckily Sir Pentious is confident he can provide that.

It takes him a couple of days to build said distraction, and Vaggie grows more and more anxious as the clock ticks down and the exorcists grow more desperate to find her. They question Sir Pentious a few times, but they can’t actually search his apartment without his permission so Vaggie isn’t found.

Finally Sir Pentious is done. Vaggie tucks his letters into her shirt and they sneak out of his apartment in the middle of the night. Just as they thought, the gate is being guarded by several exorcists on high alert.

Their goodbye in an alley is bitter sweet and tears are involved. They just barely got two days together, and now they doubt they’ll ever see each other again. Vaggie promises that she will make sure everybody knows of his success. She’ll do her very best to make sure he’s remembered as the First Redeemed, and not a loser or a failure or any of those other awful things they called him.

As promised, Sir Pentious’ distraction is glorious. It’s harmless of course, only destroying a bit of property that can easily be fixed, since the vast majority of Heaven’s residents are innocent and don’t deserve to be hurt. It’s lasers and lights and glitter and noise, enough to draw the exorcist’s attention so Vaggie can slip through the gaps in the gate.

”You aren’t supposed to be out here!”

Vaggie barely glances at St Peter before she’s running, ignoring his yells. She expected him to sound the alarm.

She sees the edge.

Sees the point where the clouds turn dark and a sickly feeling forms in her gut.

She’s almost there.

Just one more step and-

she freezes, balancing

right

on

the

edge

[the-owl-tree]

Fallen Stars - Act Two - The Fall

With your assistance, Princess has finally managed to convince Sandstorm to tell her what happened that night. Every story has its beginnings. Follow Sandstorm and Firestar from the past and see what transpired to drive them from their own home, and remember, you cannot change what must happen.

[Rough Overview + Archive!]

Quick summary of the intro for those who didn't follow the blog: This arc opened up with Sandstorm! She'd be our eyes in the Clan, revealing that ThunderClan was still recovering from the loss of Bluestar. Important to note, she'd reveal that Firestar was not eating or sleeping enough.

look at that gorgeous old ass rushed art

This arc was meant to introduce the voting system, a way for people to interact with the characters and guide them. However, I wanted to make it clear that while you could influence them. The first vote was going to be a quick way to show this, with people being allowed to vote on whether or not Bramblepaw and Tawnypaw could be allowed to come to the gathering.

Quick reveal here: This was a vote where I knew the outcome and was absolutely going to use it to my advantage lol a majority of people (obviously) voted yes. However, to demonstrate that votes weren't complete control over characters, the outcome was going to be that only Tawnypaw was allowed to go, as Bramblepaw had to go and ask Firestar permission.

Bramblepaw is then sent to wake up Firestar, the POV then switches to Firestar who is in the midst of a nightmare. This would be where the story would sow the seeds of one of the bigger conflicts of the story. Bluestar would deliver a word of warning here:

Firestar wakes up at Bramblepaw's call. Once he's a little more alert, the two talk and Bramblepaw asks to go to the Gathering. Firestar says no and Bramblepaw protests that Tawnypaw is allowed to go, something which Firestar doesn't like.

He finds Sandstorm and the two argue about it, with Sandstorm standing her ground and Firestar unhappily standing down. This was going to be a way that I was going to set up Firestar's struggle with conflating control and leadership, and learning to balance it both out.

The rest was going to be a Thunderclan intro montage where the reader got to see how everyone was doing. Nothing too different from canon quite yet, everyone's grieving but also expecting trouble from ShadowClan. Firestar visits Cinderpelt, who would reveal she's having strange dreams. This would fuel Firestar's struggle with paranoia and the trauma from the attack, it's building and festering.

The cats that would come to the gathering were obviously Firestar, Whitestorm, and Cinderpelt but the Warriors chosen were: Sandstorm and Graystripe (obviously), Dustpelt, Cloudtail, Brightheart, Goldenflower, Tawnypaw, and Fernpaw.

Cut to gathering, I wasn't going to draw everyone lol just the key players to keep an eye on such as all the Clan leaders, deputies, and their medics, Morningflower, Gorsepaw, and Onewhisker.

The gathering would play out in the books where every leader talks and when Firestar tries to tell them what Tigerstar has done, the clouds begin to cover the moon. However this time, panicked he'd lose this opportunity, of the potential harm that Tigerstar would wreak lest he stopped this...Firestar lets out a battle cry, demanding Tigerstar face him in a Leader's Duel for his crimes against ThunderClan. Firestar's actions are incredibly divisive, with most of ThunderClan backing him up, but the other Clans protesting at a duel during a gathering, especially when the clouds are covered.

Winner remains, loser is exiled. No holding back.

Tigerstar smooths it over and accepts, the two circling each other. The fight starts out even, with Firestar being able to hold his own in the beginning...but he's running on adrenaline alone. The lack of sleep, the lack of food, the desperation of needing to win eats at him, and Tigerstar quickly gains the upper hand. The fight turns brutal in seconds as Tigerstar beats him and brutalizes in front of a horrified crowd...and taking the first life.

ThunderClan hurries out to stop it but the ShadowClan and RiverClan warriors stop them from interfering. This would add to set up of the two Clan's alliance.

The plan here was the beating to be completely done away from the viewer's eyes, with only the horrified reactions of allies from all Clans listening as another life is taken. In particular, there would be a focus on Tawnypaw who is witnessing the brutalization of her leader at her father's claws, it's implied Firestar loses another life in front of her. Cue the "Tawnypaw will remember this" text ala telltale games lol

Throughout this, an unseen figure would be seen making their way up the great oak.

It's as Tigerstar lifts his claw to claim a third life that the ThunderClan and WindClan warriors break free of the restraints from the other Clans, moving to swarm Tigerstar- but it's Gorsepaw who outspeeds them all, launching himself off one of the great oaks and right at Tigerstar!

Flinging himself onto the face of the tyrant, he manages to pull Tigerstar off of Tigerstar. However, Tigerstar flings him off and doesn't hesitate to snap his spine, killing the brave apprentice instantly. He's barely given a chance to breath as Onewhisker, Mudclaw, and Tallstar charge him with Onewhisker and Mudclaw being stopped by Blackclaw and Jaggedtooth respectively, while Tallstar 1 v 1's Tiger.

The perspective switches back to Firestar with the battle raging around him, fading in and out of consciousness. He looks up and he grows shocked, gaze fixed to something unknown. No one else sees it, the intense battle leaving Firestar alone to gaze up at the omen before him.

A massive cat made of dark, angry clouds stealing the moon. Sent surely by StarClan, Firestar thinks, right...?

He fades out of consciousness and Sandstorm and Graystripe take the lead, fighting through the mess of cats. They manage to get a hold of him with Sandstorm lifting him onto Graystripe's back, the two beginning to make their escape as ShadowClan and RiverClan cats grow hot on their heels. A majority of the ThunderClan cats help them, however Goldenflower and Dustpelt can only look on in shock.

Darkstripe tackles Sandstorm and she calls for Graystripe to make a break for it. While she's able to take on Darkstripe, Blackfoot ambushes her from behind and the two quickly begin to overwhelm her. She sees Dustpelt and calls for him to help, dodging blows. He doesn't help, eyes wide with shock. It's Cloudtail and Brightheart that intervene, yowling for Sandstorm to run and get Firestar to safety.

He howls for her to get to the garden, Sandstorm taking a moment to realize what that was before understanding hit her.A twoleg word that Princess, Cloudtail, and Firestar knew...and one that the rest of the Clans didn't. Sandstorm had only been familiar with the word when Firestar had introduced her to his sister on their search for Cloudpaw.

Without a moment to spare, Sandstorm hurries and guides Graystripe to Princess' garden, ending the arc where the first one had begun.

Princess would take in the story and comfort them both, thinking over the information. She recounts an old rumor, but one that she's not too sure of herself. However, she says they might be able to help. Desperate and unsure, Sandstorm and Graystripe agrees.

As Firestar begins to awaken again, Princess promises to bring them to someone named "Vivi".

[hearts-4-vicky]

ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ ✧

ahn yujin

warnings: angst , (might be shitty tho cuz ive never written angst b4..) swearing.., lots of dialogue holy shit they yap a lot, aouad au, major character death(s) , yujins a FUCKING loser, unrequited love kinda.., blood n other nasty stuff so bewareeee if you’re sensitive to that kind of stuff🫡

wc: 1.3k (woah)

hi m like sad rn so yeah yay mwah😘

“yujin”

“yn”

the two of you found yourselves star gazing on the rooftop, using it as an escape from the cruel reality you were living in

“do you think this will ever go back to normal?”

the girl paused, not wanting to demolish any sliver of hope you had left in your bruised body

“of course i do.. why? you doubting me?”

yujin playfully pouted at you, poking at your thigh

“huh? what- no. . I trust you”

an awkward silence developed between you two

“hey” yujin started

you looked towards her, waiting for her to continue

“m sorry bout earlier. . i didnt-“

you socked her in the arm.

“HOLY SHIT what the actual FUCK.”

the girl started to complain, though it fell upon deaf ears

“dude, i told ya it was okay. i shouldve made more attention”

leaning your head on the taller’s shoulder, you rubbed the spot where she was hit. you felt yujin stiffen at the lack of space between the two of you but you chose to ignore it

“ynnie.”

“yunjinniee”

“your ankle is getting worse..”

your gaze followed where her finger pointed at, there you noticed how swollen and discolored your ankle had gotten

“pfft- s whatever! ill jus walk it off-“

BANG!

both of you searched for where the commotion was, finding a few monsters had gotten to the rooftops entrance

yujin had to act fast, each time she struggled to make a decision could mean your death.

“fuck. yn can you walk?”

“uh- y-yeah. . i think”

yujin was too in her head to hear the last thing you said before she grabbed your arm and booked it to the other entrance, she slammed open the door, not thinking about the other zombies in the school

dragging you down the stairs, she watched as 3 more of those things saw the both of you

she froze.

“yn . . i-“

“GO!”

she heard a door slam open and felt the impact of the floor against her back

“ow- fuck. wait- yn?”

yujin watched as the door stayed open, your figure on the floor

“ynnie. . cmon! those things are getting closer!”

you crawled to the door while yujin got up to shut the door after you entered

pulling you to the corner of the classroom, you both began to catch your breath, grateful that this room was empty . .

a minute passed by before yujin looked at your disheveled form, feeling guilty once again

“hey- hey um.. im so so sorry this happened, god you have cuts on your face! fuck. if only-“

you put a finger to her lips.

“ stop rambling, i should be okay by tomorrow . .”

seeing the girls pout, you gave her a quick peck on the cheek

though it didnt help at all

“im in love with you.” she confessed

“what? are you serious?” you whispered, backing away from the girl

“oh. um yeah. . sorry the timing is so shitty..”

“you think so? oh my god yujin. i already told you we cant be together like this! plus, we nearly died out there what the fuck do you mean you’re in love with me?”

“m sorry really but i couldn’t help it. . i thought i shoulda told you cause what if we do die?”

“shut up.”

“okay. yes ma’am”

“ma’am?”

“ i meant yn. .”

you heard the girls voice break with each sentence, nearly making you cry but it would alert the monsters outside

minutes passed by. you only heard the screams of other students, before they were soon turned into just another shell of the person they once were

“y-yn” yujin whispered

“yujin. .”

“. . why cant you love me as much as i love you?”

“. . . you know i can't ans-“

“you say that every single time! please, just. . just say it.”

looking at the heartbroken girl tore you apart, if only this world hadnt changed so drastically, you could be happy with yujin

“ i want to be with you yujin. really, i do but . . you know im not here anymore.”

hearing that made the taller girl shiver. her vision getting more and more blurry with each second of silence between the two,

“oh. . r-right, fuck yeah you’re right”

she brought her knees to her chest, clinging onto them as if it were her dead lover, wanting to feel the warmth of anything in her arms,

“man. . this-this really fucking sucks”

yujins voice began to break due to her realization that you really were dead. she didnt save you. she couldn’t save you. how pathetic was that? the only person she cared about dead. dead, all because she didnt think quick enough.

“ i know . . though, please know im sorry for whats going to happen”

“huh?-“

BANG!

the girl’s eyes snapped to the classroom door, through the glass she saw the face of the one she cherished most, amongst the mahogany colored blood and drool . . yujin recognized that face, how could she not? she grew to love every ‘imperfection’ you thought you had. she always thought you were the most breathtaking woman she ever laid eyes on, no flaw could ever lessen the amount of love yujin had for you

but she had failed you. she promised to keep you safe, with every part of her soul. it didnt seem to be enough . . since you here were, lunging at yujin with no thought in your head.

the remnant of sanity you had was gone, as the husk of the person you once were started clawing at yujins torso

she felt every bone in her body break into brittle pieces, making yujin open her eyes

as she gazed into your bloodshot eyes she wondered how things would’ve went if she pulled you into the room quicker.

each passing second was like hell, struggling to breathe as you had broken through her skin

coughing up the crimson liquid was loud enough to alert the other monsters to yujins location,

wanting to look at her lover’s face for the last time, she noticed a small tear slide down your dirtied face

yujin wiped it away just before a hoard of zombies decided to help finish her off

at least the both of you would be together, right?

.

.

.

a group of survivors discovered the classroom yujin had passed in, they found a letter dedicated to you

“𝓣𝓸 𝓶𝔂 𝓨𝓷

𝓔𝓪𝓬𝓱 𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓘 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓘 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓭𝓮𝓿𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓴𝓮𝓮𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓼𝓪𝓯𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓮. 𝓔𝓪𝓬𝓱 𝓭𝓪𝔂 . . 𝓘 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝔂𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓪𝓵 𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓶. 𝓘 𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓫𝓮𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮��𝓮𝓭, 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓘 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓲𝓽 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓯𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻. 𝓘’𝓶 𝓰𝓵𝓪𝓭 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽𝓾𝓷𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝓼𝓮𝓮𝓷 𝓫𝓮𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮. . 𝓘 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝔂 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓽𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓭, 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔂𝓷. 𝓜𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓭�� 𝓸𝓯 𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓪𝓰𝓮𝓼 𝔀𝓮 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓿𝓮𝔂. 𝓘’𝓶 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓾𝓬𝓱 𝓪 𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓵 𝓪𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼. . 𝓘 𝓻𝓮𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓫𝓾𝓽, 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓮 𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶. 𝓘 𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝔀𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓼𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓰𝓻𝓸𝔀 𝓸𝓵𝓭 𝓽𝓸𝓰𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻, 𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓵𝓭 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓻𝓾𝓮𝓵 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰, 𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝔂 𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓷𝓸𝓻𝓶𝓪𝓵 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷. 𝓨𝓷, 𝓘 𝓽𝓻𝓾𝓵𝔂 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽, 𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝔂 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓵.

𝓕𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼,

𝓐𝓱𝓷 𝓨𝓾𝓳𝓲𝓷.”

pls don burn me at the stake cuz i wrote. rhrisd😞🙏

anyways.. stay safe n i love you guys so so much

- vicky 💋

[justyourtypicalwriter]

I just saw the post SERVICE DOGS HCS PLEASEEE !!!

HERE WE GO GANG! These are the one's I have so far! Feel free to suggest recs for any characters or disabilities y'all wanna see! (feel free to rec it even if it's for a character on the list)

STAN:

Service Dog: Brown Newfoundland, Delta (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilitie(s): Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), Minor Psychosis 

The hair dye oh my god. He can rarely drag himself out of bed during depressive episodes but occasionally he’ll get a random burst of impulsivity and re-dye his hair. Most of the time he does the same shitty job at bleaching it blonde

“DARLING! GUESS WHO’S BACK FROM THE PSYCH WARD” vibes

Sharon and Randy officially divorced when he was fifteen. He got a little better now that there isn’t constant screaming or the threat of a drunk or high Randy doing something stupid

Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a total mess-

Patched his relationship with Shelly

Misdiagnosis club AND public breakdown club

God his entire aura just radiates LOSER energy but he’s somehow insanely popular

Not cousins with Craig & Red in this AU but their parents are insanely close so they hang out a lot

CRAIG:

Service Dog: Irish Setter, Saturn (M)

Medical Alert & Response Dog

Disabilitie(s): Epilepsy

Lowkey autistic but Saturn isn’t task trained for anything related to that

Goes non-verbal at times but it’s pretty spontaneous. Most people outside his group can’t tell if he’s actually non-verbal or just not talking to fuck with everyone

Peru drama was secretly worked out when they were twelve. Craig was hospitalized for a while when they were running tests to get a diagnosis, it was roughly a month long stay. He told Stan he’d call it even if Stan looked after Stripe until he was out. Tweek was away for the summer and he knew Stan wouldn’t let anything happen to her since he’s a massive animal lover

Gotta maintain the bitch personality 

TWEEK:

Service Dog: Doberman, Latte (M)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilitie(s): Chronic Anxiety,

“Ah fuck, the magic school bus is waiting outside to take me back to rehab-”

I kid you not, he was absolutely terrified of Latte when he first got him

Which is funny because Latte is the sweetest goddamn thing, not at all like Fable whose a fucking demon shit

CPS was called on his parents right before senior year

Placed with the Broflovski’s so he and Kyle got closer

Public breakdown club

BUTTERS:

Service Dog: Boxer, Haven (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Depression

Public breakdown club (IN DEVELOPMENT)

KYLE:

Service Dog: Black Giant Schnauzer, Noble (M)

Medical & Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Diabetes, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID)[This one might be switched]

Tubie Kyle (I fucking LOVE this one)

For once I give Kyle an ED that doesn’t stem from body image issues

Humancentipad trauma bc I love being problematic about the episode

DESPISES his lows because it means he has to eat something

Also goes non-verbal but only during times of high stress

Noble is a program dog. Kyle got him when he was 14 and initially he was so against it. He wants to function independently but he really fucking can’t. As he grows older he learns to accept the help more

HATES mirrors. The Humancentipad incident left him with scars

Public breakdown club

KENNY:

Service Dog: Anatolian Shepherd Dog, Harbor (M)

Medical Response & Mobility Aid Dog

Disabilities: Muscular Dystrophy, Chronic Pain

Regularly hospitalized, fucking dies, and revives the next day

DUMPSTER DOG<3333

He trained Harbor mostly by himself (Wendy, Tolkien, and Kyle pitched in a bit and bought him books on training techniques)

MOM FRIEND! Bro I just love making Kenny one of the parental figures of the group. He’s just got a bag of shit he carries around for both himself and everyone else. Stan forgot to swap his bandages? Boom, Kenny’s got new ones. Kyle’s sugar is low? Boom, he’s got whatever little snack the boy is able to tolerate. Someone needs a distraction? Medical episode causes them to need a vomit bag? Boom, done. Mom friend Kenny

So fucking ADHD

JIMMY:

Service Dog: Grey Great Dane, Kitty (F)

Mobility Aid Dog (IN DEVELOPMENT)

TOLKIEN:

Service Dog: Papillon, Jax (M) (IN DEVELOPMENT)

WENDY:

Service Dog: Black German Shepherd, Nike (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response

Disabilities: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) (IN DEVELOPMENT)

CLYDE:

Service Dog: Husky, Fable (F) (IN DEVELOPMENT)

BEBE:

Service Dog: Golden Retriever, Bucky (M)

Medical Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS)

Misdiagnosis club

Went to multiple doctors from 13-15 who all told her it was all in her head

And she’s just sitting there like “bitch please, the only thing in my head is my girlfriend and how hot she is. Now tell me why I keep experiencing these symptoms-”

HEIDI:

Service Dog: Chocolate Labrador, Isa (F)

Psychiatric Alert & Response Dog

Disabilities: Autism Spectrum Disorder

Public breakdown club (IN DEVELOPMENT)

[bigboobyhalo]

agent 18 seriously has SUCH beef with bad ... mad about his situationship with foolish huh? MAJOR LOSER ALERT !!

[voltrixz]

Why YOU should go vote for Electro (TSSM) in @cartoon-character-competition​

First off this is like the first time I have managed to get Electro into a competition which is a CRIME in itself already 

You may be familiar with Electro from the usual Spiderman comics or movies but trust me tssm Electro is the best Electro ever.

Like LOOK AT THIS GUY HE FUCKIN ROCKS, HIS DESIGN IS SICK AS HELL!!!!!

and well this guy has been through a lot. He used to be an engineer at Dr Connors lab where they were studying and experimenting on radioactive eels. (probably not a good idea but ok) And well well after a work accident, Electro (previously known as Max) goes from 

to 

and well while his new look is sick as hell, lets just say it makes just trying to function properly really REALLY difficult and after being frustrated about no one being able to help and facing the possibiltity his life may never go back to normal, he runs off fuming. 

And what does one angry man just turned into living walking form of electricity do? Buy coffee of course 

(this is how he looks fully suited up and with a disguise outfit on top btw )(which is why he looks a bit different here) 

Anyways he realizes he cant even drink “a measly cup of coffee” anymore and freaks out, alerting peter parker who chases after him after electro freaks out storms off. 

 So what happens next?

- Peter attacks him thinking he’s a threat (he’s not hes just freaking out and pissed off)

- Realizing his mistake Peter tries to help but Electro now refuses and is ultimately defeated 

- He’s sent to a mental institution to recover and it seems he had but nope as soon as he’s out he’s out for revenge

- He teams up with the sinister six, gaining both a mentor/father figure in Doc Ock (leader of the sinister six)

- Is defeated again and no longer pretends to try to recover at the mental institution when he’s sent back and looses faith in his new mentor 

- Is recruited back into a new Sinister six and recovers that faith again in his  mentor 

- Once again defeated and is abandoned by said mentor figure and almost loses his life if it wasnt for Peter saving him.

- From then on he’s sent to an insane asylum and well I sure wish we knew what happened next

BECAUSE WE DONT BECAUSE TSSM WAS CANCELLED AT SEASON 2 WHEN WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET AT LEAST LIKE 5 

so yeah not only is Electro’s story tragic, it doesnt even get a PROPER ENDING 

but lets focus on the positives for a bit shall we?

(laying out some images of him, i need you guys to look at him)

like LOOK AT HIM!!!!! he’s got both, the silly expressions and beyond pissed off ones, a true balance, he’s both a bit of goofy loser and cool as hell 

oh and btw he’s trans coded as hell

first off unlike the other villains who dont mind whether you call them from their actual name or villain alias, Electro has a strong distaste over his old name. Angrily calling out people who dont refer to him as Electro. 

Not only that but he’s seen and treated as an outcast. That is until joining the sinister six, a band of outcasts just like him where he’s even eager to join back.

Plus he just radiates trans swag (also a a majority of the tssm fandom has come to a agreement that yeah electro is trans and is in no way cis )

LIKE GO TBOY GO!!!! KILL!!!!!!

Also theres even subtle nod of him even being queer as when he laments on what he wanted to do before the accident, he says “you know i had plans before all this, go back to college, meet someone, have a LIFE” 

You may have noticed he never specifies whether he wants to meet a girl or a guy which like  🏳️‍🌈 ? 

(also in the comics, Electro is canonically bisexual so....)

so yeah I know this site loves the owl house and belos is a good villain and all but he’s a terrible, completely irredeemable, asshole of a person and cmon would you really let electro lose to a guy like that? After all the guy’s been through? 

Plus a win for a electro is a win for trans/queer people all around (has made me cry and sob over his story as I relate to a lot of the aspects in his story personally as a queer/trans person and has made me so so attached to him) (has made me be so proud of being trans and give me hope about officially transitioning someday) (funny enough he actually helps me cope with my gender dysphoria A LOT and he has geniuely helped me so much and he means so so much to me)

So go vote ELECTRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (do it for me guys pretty please (stares at you with sparkling wide eyes)

[girlactionfigure]

ISRAEL REALTIME - "Connecting the World to Israel in Realtime"

Morning - Erev Shabbat Parshat Vayetze - Nov 24

Shabbat Times Israel

Jerusalem - 4:01 - 5:15

Tel Aviv - 4:15 - 5:17

Beit Shemesh - 4:19 - 5:18

Gaza City - 4:21 - 5:19

🔻DRONE ALERT to EILAT… possible suicide drone(s) from Yemen, no reported interception.  IDF: false detection.

🔹GAZA CEASEFIRE IN EFFECT… THIS IS NOT a ‘global ceasefire’, even if it holds attacks from Yemen or Syria or Lebanon possible.  Iraq Shia Militias (under Iran control), "The ceasefire in Gaza, which is supposed to start on Friday, will not include the resistance groups in Iraq."

🔹HOSTAGES, 13 of them, are to be released at 4:00 PM.  

🔹GAZA CLASH… (enemy report) 2 Gazans who tried to return to the north of the Gaza Strip disobeyed the instructions of our forces and were shot.  (Enemy report) there are 7 wounded and 2 dead as a result of IDF shooting at the Netzer checkpoint (south of Gaza City).

◾️ISRAEL POLITICS… one of the pastimes of the news channels is running election surveys.  Big winner - The State Camp / MK Gantz.  Big loser - Likud.  Latest poll says Likud shrinks to 1/2 its size, State Camp becomes the major national party.

◾️THAILAND SAYS… The Foreign Minister of Thailand does NOT confirm the report of an agreement between his government and Hamas to release 23 Thai hostages: "This news came from the media and not information we received officially. We are in contact with governments that we are interested in helping us speed up the release of our hostages as soon as possible."

◾️ELON MUST correction… Musk plans to meet Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and President Isaac Herzog, and tour Gaza border communities ravaged by the Hamas.  Correction from our previous note - which used an article in Hebrew that said ‘visit the Gaza Strip’.

[eddiescouch]

What??

sorry this has taken me so long to answer. The brain wasn't cooperating.

I'm talking about Askia Khafra, 21, who died while digging tunnels for an undergound bunker for Daniel Beckwitt, 30, in 2017. An electrical fire started in the tunnels and a combination of hoarding conditions, and Daniel abandoning him, lead to his death. It's relevant to note through all this that Askia is black and Daniel is white. If you want the full details, there's an excellent documentary done with a lot of love for the family and their cooperation that I'll link at the end. This is the cliff notes of it.

Askia met Daniel while chatting on an investment forum. Askia had been trying and failing to get startup capital for his business. Originally he had tried for the Thiel Fellowship, which required him to drop out of college. During that time, Daniel had been giving Askia advice and offered to invest. After he failed to get the fellowship, Daniel also stopped replying to him for weeks.

Eventually Askia messaged Daniel begging for help, saying that he would do literally anything from taking on the investment as debt (over $10,000), working minimum wage, or both by working directly for Daniel. Daniel took him up on that and hired him for $150/day to dig tunnels under his house for a bomb shelter in case North Korea decided to nuke them.

Daniel was a maladjusted recluse who considered himself a hacker. Some of his favorite hobbies were literally harassing the Phone Losers of America (a phone phreaking group with an attitude a few shades nicer than 4chan), spending time on actual 4chan, and trying to remotely destroy a hard drive with things like thermite. In his dorm room. After the FBI was called to investigate him for hacking his school network, they ended up having to call the bomb squad and they found enough evidence to arrest him on. To celebrate he had an AMA on 4chan. Ultimately he was expelled from college.

Don't worry! Though he was kicked out in disgrace he returned home to an inheritance of over two million dollars which he invested into bitcoin and made multi-millions. That was how he ended up in the position to invest in Askia's business.

Though the two actually only lived a few miles apart, Daniel kept Askia literally in the dark by blindfolding him, extending the drive to his house for hours, and leading him by key-lanyard into the house. Askia thought he was in Virginia, miles away, until he smuggled in a gps and realized he was actually at Daniel's home. Askia would be kept there for days, sometimes weeks at a time. He was only ever allowed in the basement and tunnels which had no bathroom save for a bucket for waste. A mattress, microwave, mini fridge, and ceiling fan made up the amenities. The only way for Askia to contact Daniel was through google voice, not an actual telephone, or banging on the wall when the wifi went out in the tunnels which happened frequently.

The night of the fire Askia tried multiple times to alert Daniel that something was wrong. Six hours from when Askia messaged him, Daniel flipped the house breakers and responded acknowledging the 'major electrical failure' but that Askia should 'just put it on a different circuit'. Over the next five hours Daniel would receive three more messages from Askia, including one saying he definitely smelled smoke, and ignored the alert from the first floor carbon monoxide detector. He continued to believe the only issue was a power outage and only tried flipping breakers to fix the issue.

On the return from his last trip down into the basement, where he had not checked on Askia, he heard an explosion back in the basement and smoke began to pour up into the first floor. Daniel went back outstairs and shouted for Askia, trying to warn him about the fire. He heard Askia yell back with a drowsy tone that would have easily pointed to carbon monoxide poisoning. Despite assuming that Askia was very close to him, he didn't try to go to him, help him, or even call to direct him to the safe side of the basement. Instead he ran outside and called for help.

Firefighters found Askia, naked, lying on his back on top of a power generator. He was in the laundry room, like Daniel had assumed, and was actually only steps away from Daniel if he'd tried to save him. Askia was so badly burned he could only be identified by dental record.

Daniel was sued by Askia's family for wrongful death in 2018, and sued by the county to have the tunnels filled in which has not yet been done. In 2019, Daniel was put on trial and was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and second degree depraved heart murder. Though the minimum sentence for a depraved heart murder is 10 years, the judge only served him nine while praising him for his intelligence. This was further reduced to five years, and in 2022 he got probation with five years of probation and 250 hours off community service, after only three years in prison.

[sweepweep]

I was watching season 3 episode 9 of Totally Spies and Alex's love interest in that episode is a loser for multiple reasons:

1. He is very obviously an adult so. Major Creep Alert.

2. He has "a thing about dating girls who are buffer than him" (because the villain of the episode basically was giving bodybuilders steroids with major addictives through a chocolate protein bar to make them explode and Alex ate one since they couldn't hit the goons hard enough to do a lot of damage) which, first of all, coward. Second of all, he knows that the effects of the protein bar would have worn off so there was no point in doing that (unless he has a thing about his girlfriends being cooler than him too, since he found out Alex is a spy. Although, I don't think he'll remember that later considering they have a mind erasing machine.)

I'd like to clarify that I'm not mad at the fact that he broke up with her (he shouldn't have gotten with her in the first place) but I am mad about the reasons

Eeeeuggh yeah I would be too what

[masterwords]

second chance

Summary: It's time for Hotch to tell Jack about his relationship with Derek. He's understandably concerned that it could go bad, but hopefully nothing some chocolate chip pancakes won't help. (Spoiler Alert: It doesn't go bad. There are some rough patches here but this is a story with a happy ending.)

Words: 7.1k

Pairing: Hotch/Morgan

Warnings: past hate crime/violent attack, internalized homophobia (not really intentionally but could be read that way and i'd rather people be aware going in that hotch is Going Through It), anxiety/fear of coming out & rejection, lots of food, alcohol, hospital mention, stitches & scars, grief...he's not nearly as scared of telling jack he's seeing a man as he is about jack being upset that he's dating again after his mom, that's the vibe. there's a lot going on.

Notes: This is my first, but probably not only, submission to @the-guilty-writer CM PRIDE fic challenge using the prompt: Character(s) explains their new, queer relationship to a child. I know this has some dark bits to it but I really wanted Hotch's hesitation to be multi-faceted. I have plans to write another one or two of the prompts throughout the month, and then I'll throw together a PRIDE masterlist. As always, feel free to send me one of the prompts or something off the top of your head as a request. No telling when my silly old brain will find the spark but I assure you every single time I have a chance to write I go through my ask box to see if any of them get my gears turning for the day. Thank you all and HAPPY JUNE!

**

There is an entire night of Hotch’s early twenties that he doesn’t remember. Sure, parts of it come in brief flashes. He can tell you that he and Jessica had gone to a bar to watch the last game of the World Series after a long day of classes, and that he was wearing a Chicago Cubs baseball cap, not because he was a fan of the team but because as the loser of a pretty intense bet, he had to wear it. The Cubs had the worst record of any Major League Baseball team that season, and many other seasons, and he had to wear it in public...to a sports bar no less...with both pride and shame, as Jessica had said. That part was important. He had to play the part of a real Cubs fan. Neither of them could tell you the contents of the bet anymore, not with any accuracy. The events of the night overshadowed all of the good that had led to it, all of the fun and playful ribbing, and she no longer felt like a winner. If anything, she felt responsible.

It might have been the hat that incited the rage of his attacker, or the way he talked. Maybe the man had seen him at another bar dancing and sharing a joint with his on again off again friend with benefits. Maybe it was his haircut or his shoes. Maybe he blocked the television during a crucial play, or maybe his team lost. (That ended up being his story in court - he'd had too much to drink and his team had lost the Series, he was drunk and lost control.) In any case, whatever it was Hotch would never know. It was completely outside the realm of his control. The thing is, in the moment and the days after, he thought maybe he could have avoided it. He knows better now. This man was always going to do what he did, and Hotch did nothing more to aid in the selection of who became the victim of his rage than simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. That thought makes him feel un-tethered and chaotic. The randomness of it keeps him awake even still.

Read the rest on AO3!

[moondal514]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 People

Thanks for the tag @jaywalkers <3. I love your list of characters, you’ve got great taste : )

Rules: name 10 of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same

1) Andrew Minyard from All For the Game

My blorbo of all time probably. No character has given me brainrot and writing inspiration the way he does and likely no character ever will. This post sums up his appeal perfectly

2) Lan Wangji from Mo Dao Zu Shi

My newest blorbo from my most recently joined fandom. What can I say, I’m a sucker for incredibly queer competent stoic prob neurodivergent men that are absolutely insane about one person. When I watch the MDZS donghua, I literally have to pause every time he comes on the screen just so I can stare at him a bit, so you could say I’m a bit obsessed

3) Kim Theerapanyakul from KinnPorsche

He’s this weird little guy that is simultaneously the most competent character in the show and the biggest cringe-fail loser. He looks so suave and cool on the surface with his whole Taylor Swift by day mafia prince detective by night thing but then you realize he’s actually a complete nerd with a whole ass literal murder conspiracy board hidden behind a giant selfie portrait of himself and I love him so much (also he’s played by Jeff Satur, who makes my aesthetic attraction senses go haywire, but that’s neither here nor there)

4) Kyuzo from Samurai 7

My 1st fictional crush and prob my earliest blorbo. My type in favorite fictional male character (hypercompetent stoic character that doesn’t talk much with bonus points for iconic hair) can 100% be attributed to him. His story was the earliest villain redemption arc I can remember encountering in media (this was the 1st anime I ever watched so I was like 4 or 5 when I 1st saw this guy) and so for me I always think of him when I see people talking about iconic redemption arcs (sorry Zuko)

5) Midorima Shintarou from Kuroko no Basket

At the peak of my high school sports anime phase, this guy was my favorite. He’s tall, he’s green, he’s an anime glasses character™️, he’s tsundere, he’s prissy, he’s weird af, he’s got one of the most bonkers basketball skills ever, and he’s even an astrology girlie. What’s not to love

6) Merlin from BBC Merlin

BBC Merlin is the fandom that sucked me in at a time where I thought I was growing out of fandom and fanfic (spoiler alert: I very much was not) and it’s responsible for completely changing my relationship with fandom into something much more intense than it was previously. And it’s all thanks to this funky skinny wizard man who for whatever reason captivated me enough that I read hundreds of thousands of fan-created words about him for nearly a year and a half

7) Jasnah Kholin from The Stormlight Archive

She’s one of the rare canonically asexual female characters, and she’s even from a major fantasy book series too! I fixated on this character long before I knew I was ace (though perhaps that should’ve been a clue lol), mostly because I just thought she was so cool and I found her whole “why would I want a relationship when I’m busy with all this shit to study” attitude so relatable

8) Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender

I wanted to be her so badly when I was a kid y’all have no idea. She just made such an impression on me because she’s so cool and so strong but also unapologetically and obviously feminine and that really struck a chord with young me and is prob the reason why I didn’t really have a “not like the other girls” phase cuz she was revolutionary for little me’s idea of how a “girl” can be. To this day she is the character that to me has the coolest powers ever

9) Cassandra of Troy from Greek Mythology

It’s prob weird to include her but I was a real greek mythology girlie (in that I was into it before Percy Jackson came out) and Cassandra has always my favorite. The tragedy of her story has always been very appealing to me and upsettingly relatable in a lot of ways

10) Kym Ladell from Purple Hyacinth

Ms. Kym one of those characters that’s ostensibly the comedic relief except nope she’s hiding oceans of pain under her smile. She’s got trauma and a tragic backstory that she hides from the rest of the main characters in one of the strongest “this is fine” performances you’ve ever seen

Tagging: @stabbyfoxandrew @alcego @paradoxolotl @halfpintpeach @justadreamfox @wulfrann @quensty @ittyybittybaker @seasy33 @nanatsuyu

[johnnys-green-pen]

E! fic: Rainy Day Revelations

Johnny/Roy, rated T, first kisses, fluff. 2k-ish words. For @hitchcock-winter Johnny and Roy get stuck in the squad together due to weather and technical issues - but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all. [read this fic on AO3] (normally I don't do fics on tumblr if I can't help it, but since the Archive is currently getting DDOS'd, I'll make an exception. Consider reading the fic over there too once AO3 is back up again!)

Roy had found his own personal, petty version of hell. He wasn’t exactly sure what he’d done to deserve this, but clearly he’d committed some kind of dire transgression against the powers that be. Divine punishment for slacking off while filling out that report about the dumpster fire earlier, maybe.

The situation he’d found himself in wouldn’t have been all that great even under normal circumstances. They were stuck – in the squad, on the wrong side of a hill, down a narrow access road that was currently turning into a river of rust-colored mud. The wind was howling around the side mirrors, tugging at the boxy metal frame. It wasn’t like they were in any real, immediate danger, but the squad had stalled about half an hour ago and was now stubbornly refusing to turn on again. They’d managed to alert dispatch – and even that had been a little dicey, what with the hill between them and the HQ, but this one thing hadn’t gone wrong at least – but they’d also been warned straight away that it would probably take a while until someone got around to them. Inclement weather, and all that.

And, well, normally that would’ve been pretty annoying already, just on principle – they definitely had something better to do. Helping people, for example, doing the work they were actually getting paid for, eating lunch… but Johnny’d gotten dumped yet again yesterday, and that alone was turning this minor setback into a major catastrophe.

It was a strange mixture of emotions that Roy was experiencing as he listened to Johnny prattle on about his first date that had been “really not that bad, honest,” explained at length how he didn’t understand why the girl in question had just left him hanging and refused to explain herself when he’d tried to ask her out on a second date. Annoyance, both at the endless stream of words and Johnny’s painful obliviousness and refusal to ever take a hint or learn his lesson. A certain amount of pity, because Johnny really was doing his best, probably, even if he was horribly dense about anything related to romance. And, well, a nasty, gnawing sense of jealousy that he’d never truly forgive himself for. Johnny wasn’t his to love, he knew that, obviously, but knowing that and feeling that were two different things entirely. It was nearly physically painful to be sitting here with the dim, cloudy sky casting soft shadows across his partner’s stunningly pretty face, gently accentuating those long, dense lashes, the graceful swoop of his cheekbones, the soft lips, and hear him go on and on about how he’d tried to make this one work out but clearly still hadn’t done enough.

Roy could hardly blame the girls that Johnny insisted on going out with; he had this horrible habit of only ever picking the ones whose personalities clashed with Johnny’s own the most, the ones who didn’t share a single interest with him, like he had this image in his head of how a relationship should look; man and woman, clearly delineated, off in their own spheres. Like being unhappy was part of the relationship package. They’d be foolish to keep him around. Roy knew that. Clearly, so did they. Maybe Johnny knew it, too, but he’d never be able to admit it; he was too much of a sore loser. Painfully insecure, maybe. So, no, Roy didn’t blame the girls, and he didn’t really have it in him to blame Johnny, either, but having to listen to a play-by-play of yet another failed relationship was rapidly driving him all kinds of nuts.

“We even kissed!” Johnny’s petulant voice pierced the veil of his thoughts. “And then I call her on the weekend, and suddenly she’s telling me to get lost!” Johnny paused and cocked his head. “Do you think I’m a bad kisser?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Roy replied, miraculously managing to sound casual, “I’ve never kissed you.”

Johnny sighed, all sad brown eyes and miserable slouching, and it was all Roy could do not to lean over and try out Johnny’s kissing skills for himself.

“I wish you could tell me what I’m doing wrong,” Johnny said. 

“What good would that do?” Roy asked back. “Shouldn’t you ask the girls you’re going out with?”

“Well, maybe I just trust your opinion more than theirs,” Johnny replied, like that didn’t perfectly sum up at least half of why his dates never worked out. “Besides, I did.”

“Did what?” 

“Asked the girl,” Johnny said, an edge of impatience coloring his words.

Roy huffed. That question must’ve gone over well.

“So, what’d she say?” he asked, curiosity winning out over common sense.

“That if I didn’t know by now, there’d be no point in telling me,” Johnny said, his puzzled expression mirroring Roy’s own. “And that was just really unhelpful.”

Despite his better judgment, Roy wanted to know more. Besides, it wasn’t like he had anything better to do right now anyway.

“Well,” Roy said slowly, “what’d you do on the date?”

“I already told you earlier,” Johnny huffed, and Roy had a feeling that his partner didn’t just mean his off-handed mention of a kiss. He must’ve tuned out Johnny’s ramblings a little too successfully.

“Well, let’s go over it again in more detail,” Roy suggested, “and maybe we can figure out just what the heck she was on about.”

Johnny nodded eagerly.

“So, I met her at the restaurant, right? Cute little Italian place, great spaghetti, nothing fancy but I swear it’s a perfectly decent place for a date. Pretty popular too, I think.”

“You did ask her if she liked Italian food, right?” Roy asked.

“Yeah – well, no, she suggested it before I could ask, but I mean… what’s the difference, right?”

“Right,” Roy replied, knowing perfectly well that the difference could be enormous, but also not really wanting to get into it, at least not yet. “And then?”

“Well, then we went inside, got a table and ordered food.”

“So, what were you talking about?” Roy asked. 

“Oh man… work, traffic, food… I told her about your Beef Bourguignon from a couple months ago, remember that?”

“‘Course I remember,” Roy replied. “Why were you talking about me on your date?” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Johnny asked back. “I mean, we spend one day out of three together, you know? That’s a pretty major part of my life, and I figure that’s worth talking about with a prospective girlfriend.”

That’s not at all how that works, Roy thought, but held his tongue for now. 

“Well,” he said instead, “what else did you talk about?”

“Oh, this ‘n that,” Johnny replied. “You know, the usual. Hobbies, workplace anecdotes, weekend plans… I think I told her about our fishing trip next week.”

And there he was again, taking up conversational space during Johnny’s date. No wonder she’d refused to go on another one, if Johnny insisted on turning every conversation into the Johnny-and-Roy-Show. 

It was gratifying though, knowing that Johnny was failing to get dates because of him, however indirectly. That wasn’t a thought he was particularly proud of, but then again, he had plenty of thoughts involving Johnny that he wasn’t particularly proud of, thoughts of the kind that he’d had for ages. Thoughts he’d chalked up to his hormones running awry when they’d first shown up, back when he was still an acne-ridden teenager with a voice that wouldn’t stop cracking at the worst times. Thoughts he’d blamed on the stresses and frustrations of basic training afterward. Thoughts he didn’t really have much of an excuse for now, except that Johnny-and-Roy-Show. 

Damn it all.

This whole situation was dangerous and alluring, sitting alone with Johnny in the grey twilight, off in their own world, the curtains of water still pouring down outside locking them in place inside the squad; that oddly intimate space that had always lent itself to heartfelt conversations about things that would’ve remained unspoken anywhere else. 

They were alone. No oversight. Nobody who could judge them beyond the two of them and the big guy above – and Him, Roy’d never had a particularly close relationship with.

Johnny was still looking at him, innocence personified, seemingly not even realizing that he kept constructing his entire life around their partnership. Not realizing how monumental that was. 

Roy sighed.

“Johnny…” he slowly said, “has it ever occurred to you that the girls you’re going out with don’t want to hear about some other guy on their first date with you? That it makes them feel… I dunno, inadequate or unimportant or something like that?”

Johnny mulled that one over for a while, before catching Roy’s gaze.

“So… you don’t think it’s my kissing that’s scaring them off?”

Johnny was still looking at him, holding eye contact, and Roy was starting to get the distinct impression that Johnny wasn’t nearly as oblivious as he was trying to appear. Not even Johnny was that utterly clueless.

It almost seemed as if…

but no, it couldn’t be.

Except…

“You know…” he said. “Maybe I should put your kissing skills to the test.”

It was a leap of faith, but maybe he needed to take a risk for once, one that wasn’t related to his job – or at least not in the usual sense. Besides, he could always brush the whole thing off as a joke if he’d misread the situation after all.

Despite everything, he could hear the blood rushing in his ears, like he’d climbed up too high without a safety line and caught a glimpse of what lay below.

Johnny’s relieved half-grin and clear lack of shocked disgust did a lot to reassure him. 

“Would you really do that for me?” he asked, caught somewhere between playful and something deeper, something yearning.

“Beats talking to you about your dates…” Roy muttered, delighting in Johnny’s playfully offended ‘Hey!’

“C’mere, then,” Roy said, trying to mask his nervousness and anticipation with a gentle challenge, “and show me what you’ve got.”

He could’ve sworn he heard a whispered “oh, finally,” but it was hard to be sure as Johnny practically pounced on him, slightly chilled fingers finding the back of his neck, his lips suddenly on Roy’s. It was good – heated and perfectly and admirably shameless, making it easy to respond in kind. Johnny moaned against his lips, and Roy reached out and slid his hands into Johnny’s hair as he deepened the kiss just that little bit more, getting lost in the moment, their noises mixing with the patter of the rain against that trusty metal roof.

When they finally separated, they were both breathing hard. Johnny looked at him, flushed and fond, and giggled, kiss-drunk and heady.

“Not…” Roy began, pausing to catch his breath. “Not that it matters, I think, but I have a hunch that your kissing was the only reason you ever got any second dates.”

“An interesting theory,” Johnny gasped out between heavy breaths, and his grin broadened, “but what if the last kiss was a fluke? I think this requires more testing.”

“Well,” Roy replied, “the rain’s still pouring, so I think we have time–”

“Extensive,” Johnny interrupted him, and something in his eyes told Roy that this one was serious, more so than he let on, “and long-term testing.”

Ah.

“You know…” Roy said, “I’m free on Wednesday, so if you’d like to continue this then…”

“An excellent start,” Johnny replied, with a clear emphasis on the ‘start’. “Your place or mine?”

Roy shrugged. “Mine? I’ll cook dinner.”

“Ooh, I knew I picked the right guy.”

Roy huffed. “You’re insatiable,” he said fondly.

“Just making up for lost time,” Johnny replied, sounding more than a little wistful. “I’m glad you caught on, I was really startin’ to worry that I’d been wrong about you after all.”

“How long have you known?” Roy asked.

“Oh, about since you conveniently showed up in my paramedic training class for no good reason, but this isn’t the kinda thing you act on without being really damn sure about it, you know.”

Oh boy, did he know.

“You’re aware that we’ll have to talk about all of this eventually?” Roy asked. “Properly, I mean.”

“Eventually, yeah,” Johnny replied. “Now, you said something about having time for another round earlier?”

“Insatiable,” Roy repeated, but he happily obliged.

[bigdickmartysbigmoneybitch]

still thinking about the book ending for bullet train (spoiler alert, because it's different from the movie ending)

basically, the book doesn't end with the train barreling through the end station in morioka, and instead comes to a stop as if it were operating normally. as nanao (aka ladybug, the semi-loser played by brad pitt in the movie) gets off, his assistant catches up to him and tells him about how she slept in the komachi instead of getting on the hayate because she got them mixed up, and then promptly fell asleep because she apparently pulled an all-nighter the night before watching star wars. yeah.

they then talk for a bit more and get off the station, a few more things happen, and it then skips to 3 months (from what i remember) forward, to nanao being in a grocery store. he meets mr. suzuki there, who was the tutor that he met on the train, who played in one of the more major parts involving the prince later on (mr. suzuki is completely missing in the movie, so just imagine him as a pretty nice japanese tutor/teacher type person). nanao buys some kind of ticket for the in-store lottery, and proceeds to win the jackpot.

what is the jackpot you ask? a basket with lemons and tangerines. all he ends up saying to that is something along the lines of "there they are!" and then the book ends. meanwhile in the movie, this is implemented via lemon running over the prince with a small truck carrying citrus fruits. i should probably mention, both lemon and tangerine die in the book before the train arrives in morioka, with the prince presumably being shot by kimura's parents at arrival. yes, parents. both of them. only his dad shows up in the movie, even though the pair of them is actually a great combo. also, kimura himself survives in the book whereas i believe that he dies in the movie/in the aftermath of the events.