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bonesxbows · 3 days ago

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What This Means To Me (Lucifer X Reader)

My Masterlist

You've sold your soul to Vox and Lucifer doesn't know. That is until you can no longer hide the scars he leaves when he treats you like his personal play toy.

(WARNINGS) - Graphic descriptions of wounds/abuse - Hiding abuse from partner - Crying - Panic attacks/descriptions of Panic attacks

Guess who's back on their Hazbin Hotel bullshitttt

Me :)

More to come! (Hopefully, if my adhd cooperates) but for now thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! Reblogs and Likes much appreciatied!

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You crashed onto the floor, your chin making contact with the tiles and making your skull rattle inside your head. You picked yourself up, being cautious to still keep your head lowered; over the years you’d learned that eye contact only made him more brutal.

“Repeat it.” he spat, venom pouring from his neon lips like a waterfall. He was in the middle of a power high and one wrong move would spell the end of your existence.

“I stupidly made a mistake and I’m terribly sorry, sir, please have mercy and it’ll never happen again.” you droned, the words practically carved into your brain from how many times you would have to repeat them over the week.

A wash of cold blue light was cast over you as his screen lit up with enjoyment, you knew his sick smile was growing in size even if you still had your eyes glued to the floor. A sudden tendril of cold crept around your neck and you were yanked towards him, a sharp sting assaulting your skin where a bright electric blue chain had been forced around your throat. You couldn't help the way your face twisted in fear, which only served to fuel his tyrannical high more. You were brought face to face with him, the brightness from his screen being so close making your head pound; the impact with the floor from earlier surely leaving you with a concussion. He held your chain taunt in one hand, leaving you powerless in any attempt to try and back away from him. “Who owns you?” he asked, venom still running thickly through his words.

You stuttered on your words, the pain in your head making your mind spin in circles. Nausea ran through your body, making you shudder and instinctively arc yourself backwards away from the threat in front of you. Vox read your movements as an attempt to flee his grasp, making his anger flare. He pulled your chain tighter, using his other hand to roughly grab your wrist. A pulsing shock ran through your body, making the hairs on your arm stand up straight. You tried to pull away from him as the contact from his hand continuously sent waves of electrocution under your skin, the smell of burnt flesh and blood oozing from your wrist. Your skin was being fried off while his claws dug even further into the blackened char, piercing the reddened raw flesh underneath. You hissed from the pain and cried out. “Fuck! Vox, stop! That fucking hurts! I’m sorry!” Tears threatened to pour over your eyelashes as you pleaded with him. You struggled against him like a deer caught in a bear trap but his grip was too strong, all of your efforts were in vain but every nerve in your body was screaming at you to get away from him.

He chuckled at your suffering, the growing stench of charred flesh not bothering him in the slightest. “I’ll ask again. Who. Owns. You?” his voice was calm despite the chaos he was creating.

“You do! Fuck- you do, Vox! Please, for the love of everything unholy, please stop!” you screamed at him, not stopping the tears that flowed freely now, the pain becoming unbearable. You wanted to pass out from the pain and the smell made you want to throw up. You felt like you would soon collapse if he didn't let up on this torture.

Your response was satisfactory to him and he let you go, but he did it so abruptly that you lost your balance and crashed into the floor. You immediately curled into a ball and cradled your injured arm, expecting another blow from him before he was done with you. But thankfully another one never came. He barked an order at you and then left with a slam of the door behind him, but your head was pounding so aggressively that all you heard was ringing.

You spent the rest of the day in the shadows, refusing to look at anyone and staying out of everyone’s way. It was best not to call more attention to yourself after having a “private meeting” with one of the bosses. You waited until the tower was completely empty and everyone else who hadn’t left had retired for the night before making a break for the exit, clearing the doors without a soul noticing. You would make it out of there in one piece, surviving another day of work, but now your only problem was surviving the tidal wave of consequences. If you arrived home without a good cover-up story to explain the nasty wounds that now littered your body Hell only knows the kind of unholy wrath Lucifer would unleash on Vox, and you didn't even want to fathom the type of results that would cause for you as an employee of the Vees.

The walk back to Lucifer’s palace was a long one thankfully, giving you enough time to thread together a decent enough plan. The doors screeched open when you walked through, but otherwise the palace was empty and quiet, as usual. You made your way to your shared bedroom, being careful to not appear panicked just in case he saw you before you made it. You figured you had a few minutes at least before he figured out you were home. You managed to grab a long-sleeved sweater from the closet and throw it on before he caught up to you.

“Hey, duckling. You're home awfully late. Is everything okay?” he stood in the doorway with his suit jacket missing and his hair slightly ruffled, telltale signs that he had been in his workshop all day.

“Yeah everything’s fine Luci, it was just a long day that’s all.” you plastered on the fakest smile you could muster while holding back tears. The abrasiveness of the sweater against your burnt skin was making this more difficult than you had hoped.

“Are you sure darling? You seem…off. I mean, not like your usual self. You know you can tell me anything, right?” he closed the distance between the two of you and gently cupped his hand around your cheek. The feeling of how soft his touch was compared to the way Vox touched you was another major crack in your already crumbling dam.

“I'm fine! Luci really, everything’s fine. Please just stop asking.” you snapped. You hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, but fear of your cover being blown made anger bubble up and out onto your words. He recoiled back, pulling his hand away immediately as if your skin suddenly went alight. You flinched as soon as his touch disappeared, already knowing you had hurt him. “Fuck…I-I’m sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just…Vox has been getting a little more aggressive lately and it’s been putting me on edge. I’m sorry Lucifer, I didn't mean to snap at you.”

“Tell me the truth, ducky.” it wasn't a question. His voice was stern this time. Your yelling had startled him, but now he was seeing right through your bullshit and he was done with being lied to. Your silence only confirmed his suspicions. Your eyes were glued to the floor and he could hear small sniffles coming from you as tears fell to the carpet.

“I…I can’t.” you choked out, using the sleeve of your sweater to wipe your nose.

“I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on sweetheart.” he gently laced his fingers through your other hand, which sent sparks of pain up your arm from the wound, making you cry twice as hard.

“He’ll kill me. He’ll kill me if he finds out I told you.” you cried out, meeting his eyes for the first time since you started crying. His face looked so strange to you without its usual sharp-toothed smile and prideful eyes. He looked so scared and worried and you hated yourself for making him feel that way.

“No one can threaten your life, you know that. Whoever they are should be more afraid of me than you need to be of them. You really think I’d let anything happen to you?” he asked as he let go of your hand to use one of his claws to wipe away your tears, still being extra gentle. He touched you like you were made of glass but you didn't mind. You felt like your insides were made of a far more fragile material right now anyway.

“No?...I…I don't know. I don't know what to think right now Luci. He scares the fuck out of me.” you sobbed. You just wanted this nightmare to end.

He moved closer to cradle your head in his hands, the tips of his claws brushing against your skin so gently that they tickled. “Look at me, angel.” You did as he asked, staring at his yellow and red snake eyes, creased with worry, through a blur of tears that refused to stop. “You’re safe with me. I promise you, no one can hurt you so long as I’m around.”

You wanted to believe him. You really did, but the years of torment Vox had put you through had taught you to think otherwise. You were never safe. He always made sure of that. Your eyes turned glassy as your mind was pulled into an endless cycle of torment surrounding the years of suffering Vox had put you through. You could hear Lucifer calling your name, no doubt trying to snap you out of whatever trance your mind had sucked you into.

“Luci…I…”

“Do you trust me?”

You blinked and shifted your eyes back to him. “More than anything.”

“Then trust me when I say that’ll keep you safe.”

“But you can’t!” you blurted out, a fresh wave of tears washing over your eyes. His face twisted into a mixture of confusion and panic; he hated seeing you cry so much.

“What do you mean, sweetheart? What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?” his questions came out at a rapid-fire rate but at this point, your safety was on the line and he was too concerned to care. He moved his hands from your face and caressed them down the sides of your shoulders and down the sides of your arms in an attempt to calm you down enough to explain the situation, but as soon as his claws made contact with your forearm you shrieked and leaped back from his touch. Lucifer jumped, pulling his hands away as he did so, fearful that he had hurt you somehow, but when blood started to drip down your hand he knew there wasn’t a possibility that his gentle touch could have caused that.

“You’re bleeding,” he stated, reaching for your arm, but you yanked it away before he could make contact.

“It’s nothing.”

“I barely touched you and you screamed like I took a match to your skin. Obviously, it’s not nothing. Did he hurt you?”

“It’s-”

“I’ll ask again. Did he hurt you?” you glanced up and knew your bluffing chances were running out; Lucifer’s eyes had turned red, his yellow pupils staring right through you and fire threatened to spill from the corners of his mouth. Any fight you had left in your words died at the back of your throat at the sight. Wordlessly you removed the sweater you had put on earlier to cover the aftermath from Vox, letting the plush fabric drop to the floor as the room fell into a silence. You couldn’t help but drop your head; too afraid to face Lucifer. You had lied to him, repeatedly. You had tried to cover up this mess from him and now there was no telling how he would react.

The quiet was deafening and for a moment you considered peeking your head up, but before you could Lucifer’s clawed fingertips brushed up against your own. The sudden unexpected contact made you jump and you whipped your head up to look at him, but you didn’t pull away this time. His demeanor hadn’t changed, in fact, he looked even angrier; his eyes now glowed menacingly red and his teeth were set in a snarl. Yet his face held a softness of concern around the corners of his eyes when he looked at you as his hands moved to hold onto yours, cradling your hand in his with the slightest touch as his eyes raked up and down your forearm; examining the now oozing and partially scabbed over wound.

“Lucifer I…” he didn’t look up when you called out his name so you watched as he continued to examine you, his touch barely that of a feather compared to the way Vox handled you. The worry and compassion and pure love set in his features were enough to make tears well in your eyes again. There was so much you wanted to say, so much you wanted to apologize for, but the words were stuck in your throat. You didn't deserve this; you didn’t deserve him. This was Hell, who were you to deserve adoration from an angel?

When he raised his hand to hover it over the burn wound you began to panic and instinctively went to yank your arm away, memories of Vox’s hand being there mere hours before flooding your mind, but Lucifer held your wrist firmly in his other hand. “You’re okay, ducky. Relax. I would never hurt you like he did.”

Realization set in as soon as his soft words hit your ears and you stopped struggling against his grip, his fingers loosening as soon as you did. “Sorry…I know Luci, I didn't mean-”

“I know, darling.” He went to place his hand over your wound again and this time you forced yourself to stay still, trusting him completely. A bright yellow light burst forth from his palm, coating your forearm in brilliant golden warmth. You closed your eyes, expecting to flinch from oncoming pain…but there never was any. In fact, you felt nothing at all except Lucifer’s hand still holding onto your wrist. You dared a peek and cracked one of your eyes open a sliver, but by the time you did the light was gone. He removed his hands and you opened your eyes fully to see what had been done.

You couldn’t help it when your mouth fell open in shock. Everything was gone; the blood, the charred skin, the gouges left from Vox’s claws, all of it was gone. Your skin was back to its original soft and pristine state before Vox had mangled it.

“I…I don’t know what to say…” when you met his eyes you were surprised to see that the glow had vanished from them and now his halo sat adorned atop his golden locks, a golden snake looped in a circle around the top of his head. It disappeared as quickly as you had seen it, leaving a puff of golden smoke behind as it went up in red flames. He smiled lovingly and placed his hands on your shoulders, lacing his fingers together around the back of your neck.

“You can start by telling me where I can find this fucker.” the question left a toothy snarl on his face and you could almost taste the venom on his tongue.

“Luci, he-”

“Is a dead man for thinking he can dare lay a finger on you like that and live? Yes, he is.”

“No, you don’t understand. He-”

“Why are you trying to protect him after everything he’s done to you?”

“He owns me, Lucifer.”

There it was, the underlying truth out in the open at last. He was struck dumbfounded for a moment, all emotion except confusion washed away from his face as his eyebrows knitted together and his mouth drooped into a small frown.

But it was only for a moment as he processed your words.

The next time you blinked all the lights in the room began to blow one by one, the popping noises of the glass scaring you and making you yelp. Instinctively you leaned into the protection of Lucifer’s touch, ducking your head into his chest and curling into the safety of his arms. The room was plunged into darkness, yet there was one singular glow coming from a nearby light source. You tilted your head up to see where it was coming from and you were met with a sight of fire. An aura of pure bright orange flame surrounded Lucifer, though it didn’t burn you even though you were touching him. His demonic form was on full display; his horns had sprouted from the crown of his head and taken over the spot where his halo had been mere seconds ago, all six of his crimson and white wings had unfurled and were thrashing behind him, threatening to encase you in a possessive protective layer of feathers with every forward beat, his spade-tipped tail whipped back and forth beside him like a coiled snake ready to strike, and his eyes began to glow again with a menacingly red flare. You didn’t know what to do. You had seen him like this before, but never this bad; the flames were new, and he had never acted this way as a result of something you had said or done.

“Luci…?” you meeked out, your arms still pressed against his chest. He had wrapped his arms around you when you had cowered into his embrace, but now he was refusing to let go.

“Tell me where he is.” his voice was different, deeper and raspier than what you were used to. Should you be scared? Surely the growing feeling of fright in the pit of your stomach was from your memories of Vox, right?

“I…I don’t…” you stuttered over your words, your emotions twisting in your mind like balls of yarn. You were scared, but you weren’t supposed to be scared. Lucifer would never hurt you, you knew that, but yet something just felt wrong. The scene felt too much like the memories you had of Vox and your whole body was telling you to flee. You felt too small, too vulnerable, and your breaths began to shake and stutter as your heart felt like it would pound out of your chest. But Lucifer placed a hand on your cheek, bringing a temporary halt to your panic. His wings had stopped flapping wildly and came to rest around the two of you, cocooning you in a barrier of warmth and feathers. He blinked and his eyes stopped glowing; instead turning to his red and yellow demon irises. He knew he had scared you; his smile and concerned look spoke for him. You leaned into his touch as you relaxed a little, steadying your breathing. No, you thought. I was wrong. No matter how scary he looks he would never hurt me like Vox has. He’s nothing like him, not even close.

You took a deep breath and asked the question lingering on the tip of your tongue, “Can you really break it? The deal, I mean?” you could feel a spark of hope gleaming in your heart, but you didn’t know whether yet to nurture it or drown it out.

He couldn't help but chuckle, though you couldn't see what was so funny. “This is my Hell, ducky. You need only ask for it and it’s yours.” He tenderly swiped his thumb across your cheek as he spoke, a loving smile adorning his lips.

You could be free. Finally free. No more torment, no more pain. All you had to do was tell him where to find Vox. But there was something still nagging you in the back of your mind. A consequence that made you hesitate.

“You can’t kill him, Luci.” you blurted out, watching as his eyes threatened to glow with fire again. But they didn’t, he remained calm. Somehow. You’d have to commend him for that later. You weren’t quite sure why you were denying Lucifer his revenge on your behalf; whether it was to protect your skin in the future when he couldn’t be around to protect you or to give Charlie’s friend the satisfaction of killing Vox himself you couldn’t figure out. Before he could ask why or refuse you continued, “Just trust me…please? Leave him alive. Can you still break the contract like that?”

He huffed and seemed to consider your request for a moment, but ultimately he agreed. “Alright…won’t say I’m happy about it but for you…I suppose I’ll listen.”

You smiled for the first time that day and he couldn’t help but place a small soft kiss on your nose when you did. And with that, you told him the information he had been waiting for. “V Tower, tallest building around that isn’t the Angel Headquarters. He never leaves.”

He pulled his wings and arms back from you and you immediately missed the warmth, but you knew it was for good reason. The room felt overwhelmingly cold suddenly and a shiver went down your spine, you hadn’t realized the heat that had been pouring from Lucifer’s body being so close to you. He took a step back, making a motion to leave and make good on his word, but noticed your change in demeanor out of the corner of his eye and stopped for a moment.You had wrapped your arms around yourself and he took note of how cold and lonely you looked standing there by yourself in the now dark room. A frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. He didn’t like the idea of leaving you here all alone, especially since you were in such a fragile state, but he needed to do this. The sooner the better, the sooner you could be free from that asshole’s torment. But he refused to leave you in such a condition like this before taking off to deal with him. He shrugged off his jacket and gently threw it around your shoulders, adjusting it and making sure it was fully covering you before he placed a soft kiss on the top of your head. You instinctively grabbed ahold of the fabric and curled it around yourself, breathing in his apple pie scent that lingered on the collar. He then turned and flicked a finger out towards the ceiling, a ray of golden light beaming out of his fingertip. It exploded when it made impact with the roof, golden and white smoke swirling out in all directions. But once the smoke cleared the plain white paint had been replaced with a dazzling yellow night sky, bright stars swirling around in the atmosphere and shining a soft golden glow around the room.

A prideful grin was stuck on his face when he caught the way your eyes lit up at the sight. “There, so you don’t have to be in the dark. I won’t be gone long, alright? Then this mess’ll be over.”

And with that, he took off from the railing of the balcony with a strong beat of his wings. As you watched him soar away, his white wings a stark contrast against the red sky of the Pride ring, you swore you could see the outline of his horns peeking out above his head. You almost felt sorry for Vox for what was heading his way. Almost.

At some point, you had fallen asleep before Lucifer had returned, curled up on his side of the bed with his coat covering you. The night sky scene he had left you with was peaceful and its soft light had easily soothed you into a slumber after the emotionally draining day you had endured.

But you awoke with a scream ripping through your throat.

You shot up, Lucifer’s coat falling off of you in the process, as an all too familiar bright electric blue chain wrapped itself around your throat. “No…No! Lucifer!” you screamed, kicking and pulling backward as the chain threatened to yank you off of the bed. But your struggle was no match, you hit the floor with a thud, your head making contact with the tiles first and sending black spots into your vision. You blinked and propped yourself up on your hands, tears beginning to prick at the corners of your eyes again. Through the spots and swaying in your vision you saw a bundle of white next to you on the floor; Lucifer’s coat had fallen onto the ground with you during the tumble. You reached out and grabbed onto it, pulling it closer to you and clutching the fabric in your fist til your knuckles turned white, holding onto the coat like a lifeline and praying it would turn into the real Lucifer soon. For now, you would have to make due.

It wasn’t long after you had grabbed the jacket that the chain around your neck refused to be forgotten about. It glowed, a sickening blue reflecting into your eyes and making your now-pounding head throb. But it was all a distraction; a split second later you were pulled across the floor. You tried to dig your heels into the ground, but the slippery tiles gave you no traction to stop yourself, so you did the next best thing and curled Lucifer’s jacket into your chest and braced for the inevitable impact with the wall behind you.

Your spine hit it with a reverberating crack. The force of the impact bounced your head backward, slamming it against the wall at the same time. You cried out, the room now spinning as the black spots in your vision became worse and your ears began to ring. But you looked down and sure enough Lucifer’s coat was still in your fist. You breathed in relief as you began to cry in earnest. You could do that here to cope with the pain, there were no watchful eyes to make the torment worse for showing signs of weakness like there were when Vox was around. So you cried. You cried for all the pain you were feeling now and for all the pain in the past you couldn’t have cried for. You wailed and sobbed and screamed, not caring who heard you, as the chain around your throat tightened unbearably.

But then there was suddenly a golden glow around your neck and you fell silent. It continued to get brighter, blindly brighter, and you instinctively had to close your eyes. But the light ceased abruptly at the same time as a loud sharp crack rang throughout the room. You held your breath as everything fell silent.

It took less than a minute later for Lucifer to show up in the exact same spot he had taken off from earlier on the balcony. You hadn’t moved an inch from your spot on the floor.

“Oh gosh, are you okay?! That was a stupid question- What happened while I was gone? I came back as fast as I could.” he rambled on as his wings disappeared and he rushed forward, sliding down onto his knees in front of you. He looked terrified, his hands froze outstretched between the two of you, simultaneously hesitant of what to do and worried about hurting you further.

“Is it…is it done? Is it over, Luci?” any strength you had left after the events of the day was now gone, washed away in your flood of tears.

Lucifer finally decided on a place for his hands and gently placed one over your still-enclosed fist balled in his jacket and the other he molded around the side of your face, cradling your head in his hand. You relished in his touch, leaning into his hand and sighing. “It’s over, ducky. You’re free from that monster. You’re safe.” He caressed his thumb over your cheek as he spoke, his touch no more than that of a feather. You couldn’t help but let a few more tears shed at the sound of the good news, but this time Lucifer was right there with you to help wipe them away.

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