#LuKai

[lukatchm]

So it's the day, they're back! Lol

[pvj-karkalicious]

they are so divorce-core

[goingextinct]

not my fault the basketball dudebros already made up a ship name like yeah im gonna be perverted abt their beloved duo

[anger-and-red-flames]

omw of analyzing the chapter "oh, to watch love bloom" from my fanfic Take your pretty smile, tell them everything's fine, (breaking all my bones to sharpen your knife) especially with a focus on the depiction of Jhin and Hwei's relationship and the question if Hwei is able to consent (he is not).

(cw, discussion of pseudoincest, abuse, grooming, child abuse, incest (brief yasuyone mention), child neglect, depiction of those topics... ehhh)

The chapter is (as attentive readers might know) the first time that Hwei and Jhin actually have sex, and in his "short" analysis I want to get especially into the question whether Hwei is able to consent - and point to the way I depicted the relationship between him and Jhin in this chapter specifically.

So the first thing I noticed during a reread is that Hwei imitates Jhin in his relationship with Kayn - just how Jhin postponed having sex with Hwei to give him the space to reconsider, Hwei gives Kayn the space to think the scythe branding through.

This, in combination with their later conversation about highlights the power and influence Jhin has on Hwei. He is in control of him on so many levels, controls how he spends his time, where he spends it, but also how he interacts in relationships.

And to be fair, teaching Hwei that its important to give people space before important decisions is a good value in of itself, but it's also creates nothing but a simulacrum of consent. Because while Jhin does give Hwei space to think it through, and Hwei gives Kayn space to consider his options, that doesn't negate the obvious power imbalance between Jhin and Hwei, and Hwei and Kayn

Can Hwei (/Kayn) consent when their life depend on the approval of Jhin (/Hwei)?

And that gets even clearer (in the first part) where Hwei says (about the scarifications he has gotten from Jhin): "I also had no say in the matter. And when I was offered a choice, I was already addicted to the pain."

This makes clear how much Jhin actually groomed him - because while Hwei now thinks that he makes choices, he has been taught very specific patterns of thinking and interacting with the world. Scarring Kayn and putting his mark on his skin is one of the only ways he can think of to show his love and dedication, just how Jhin taught him to think about relationships and love.

And thats where I think using Yone's POV really made sense, because Hwei and Kayn are incredibly unreliable narrators, and ofc so is Yone to a degree, but Yone is in a place to actually point out how young Hwei, and how gruesome and horrible everything is. And while he tries to push it aside, we still get the following line (which is me speaking through yone lol):

"(He) desperately tried to not think about what he had heard. Or about scars under his fingertips, hard ridges on velvety skin and on a boy that was barely of legal age."

I think it's really easy to forget how young Hwei and Kayn actually are, mostly because they view themselves with the typical teenage hubris, "we're basically adults", and because they had to learn how to fend for themselves and carry burdens too heavy for their actual age.

But Yone is in his early twenties, he has a little brother their age who he tries to protect and shield from the horrors, and I think the contrast between "Yasuo is a teenager, he should worry about school and computer games and I adore him and will protect him" and "Kayn wakes up from nightmares about SA and murder" and "Hwei carries scars cut into his skin by his fatherfigure when he was barely more than a child and never learned that he can love someone without hurting them" is staggering and hammers home just how cruel their world is.

But on the other hand Yasuo and Yone, victims of severe emotional neglect, envy the closeness between Jhin and Hwei, which reminds us how desperate children are for any kind of love and affection.

We know that Jhin is incredibly abusive, but when Yasuo says: “‘S so cool how close you are, don’t think my ma ever even hugged me.” it highlights that Hwei still gets something from Jhin that is so much more important to him than his physical and mental safety.

To Hwei Jhin is the only person who ever provided him with a sense of belonging, made him feel seen and loved and understood, he fulfills Hwei's physical and emotional needs, and that outweighs the damage he does to him otherwise. So Hwei romanticizes and justifies the abuse, because his literal life depends on pleasing Jhin.

And Jhin is by no means nothing but a horrible monster - ok, sure, he is an abusive, grooming serial killer, but I try to show that to Hwei he is much more than this, which is why the grooming works.

As an example a bit later Hwei asks Jhin if they can leave the breakfast table, and they retreat to Jhin's bedroom where he tells Hwei about their plans for the upcoming weeks, asks him how Kayn is doing with his nightmares (indicating that they regularly talk about everything that's going on in Hwei's life). Hwei also feels save enough to say that he wants to cuddle (articulating an emotional need), and later Jhin is giving him the space to sleep on his lap, which in my opinion is showing how deep their emotional relationship goes, and how much Hwei depends on Jhin in every area of his life.

The scene is wholesome and sweet, it's appears like a rather normal situation between family members, so when Hwei wakes up eye to eye with Jhin's (clothed) erection and we learn that Jhin has casually drawn porn of (17 yr old) Hwei it just hits so much harder. And in my opinion what's worse is that Hwei doesn't seem to mind, he is treating this as a normal occurrence, looks at the porn his father figure drew off him before initiating a blowjob.

And sure, Jhin apologises, but it seems to be more about the fact that Hwei knows and not about what he did. And when Jhin says "You don't have to", Hwei says "let me, please" and Jhin responds with “Of course, take whatever you want, my Rehlein.” it is again imitating consent, placing the responsibility on the shoulders of teenage Hwei instead of on the only adult in the room.

But with all we've seen throughout the entire chapter (and even more over the rest of the story) it's clear that Hwei is a child doing what he has to in order to survive and for his needs to be fulfilled. Jhin's love for him is tied to his body in various ways, to his skills and how well he can match his expectations. There is no unconditional love, and while that doesn't mean that Jhin is aware just how much he fucks Hwei up, it still leaves him a traumatized boy who never learned that he has intrinsic value.

As some of you know Hwei and Jhin had sexual interactions before this scene, but this is the first interaction between them which actually includes an orgasm.

I was very uncertain how I wanted to write their "first time", because I pride myself on writing their relationship as rather complex and I wanted this to be reflected in their sex as well. I especially didn't want to write it as nothing but porn - it would not have fitted with the tone of the fic, but also would've forced me to ignore some of the larger issues with their relationship.

So I settled for a chapter that's like 95% character exploration, plot and dialogue, and 5% smut. And while it's certainly not the hottest smut I ever wrote I think I prefer that over a chapter where the smut was more elaborate but undermined the complexity of their relationship. I really wanted to make sure that nobody comes away from this chapter with the wrong idea, Jhin might think that he is loving Hwei and that Hwei consents to everything sexual, but Hwei is in no place to do so.

The dynamic between them is based on an incredible power imbalance, a core aspect of (17 yr old) Hwei as a character is that he has no control over his life, that he is trapped in an invisible golden cage. He doesn't even know that there is a world beyond the gates, can not imagine a life where he has even a modest degree of autonomy.

And sure, he can chose if and how he wants to have sex with Kayn, Yasuo and Yone, but again, Jhin encouraged him to go out with Kayn, and Hwei still sought his approval before the foursome.

Aldo, on that note, do you remember the two times where Hwei went to Jhin with bitemarks that his boyfriend left on him simply to make sure that Jhin allowed someone else to mark his body 😭😭😭 and then worried that his literal adoptive father didn't love him anymore because Jhin didn't freak out (beyond carving fun little cuts into his breast the first time 😭😭😭)

[getthatball]

So these are pretty light and fun to play in. 🏀 No wonder they're always sold out within hours after a new colorway drops. #LukaI #Luka1 #LukaIs #Luka1s (at Greenhills West Clubhouse) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cm_slRgvQRl/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[aidonotknow]

歡喜禪／Yab-Yum

[xpyray]

Blue skies

[deep-sea-demon]

He is just like me

[lukatchm]

“This guy’s a big teddy bear at times off the court, big competitor. A teddy bear who likes to compete”.

[na1su]

THAT IS NOT WHAT HE COMMISSIONED

[teiahn-frost]

My small collection of Winterblessed Hwei sketches ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

[orsinist]

Modern AU

[a-bucket-of-silly-drawings]

[lightning-stars]