#Love Me At My Worst ;; Rat in the Wall HCs/About

[spkyscry-a]

Also the implication I accidentally set up that Tilly is more directly related to Nyan Nyan (aka the cat) is really funny to me. Cat to Rat pipeline.

[thelaundrybitch]

Employment Opportunities - TMNT HCs

TURTLE DOVES

I hath finished some HCs that have been sitting in my drafts for FOREVER 👀

Please enjoy

TW: Thirsty bitch ahead. And some swear words.

Please don't steal my work. Reblogging for others to enjoy is highly encouraged, though 🤩

These are Jobs I can see the guys doing once accepted into society...

Raph 

Fire Chief. 

Probably Fire Marshall. 

Cuz boyfriend be hot hot hot

Dressed in that SCBA gear

Barking out orders to his men

Ripping down walls with his ax 🪓

Using ONE HAND to hold the fire hose while it spews tons of water at tremendous speeds 💦💦💦

Running into burning buildings to save children

Saving kittens from trees

Might also be a bartender.

Working those beer taps

Shaking up those margaritas

Poppin the tops off of beer bottles with his biceps 💪

Flirting with EVERYONE

Raking those tits tips in

But also

Bouncer backup™ 

boi-oi-oing

Don 

Forensics. 

Getting super into all the creepy, weird shit

Thinks about things that the detectives wouldn't ever even consider

Could actually, most likely, solve every case by himself

But that's a pain in the ass

And a lot of paperwork 📄🖇️

I could also see him being a judge. 🧑🏾‍⚖️

Seeing right through all the lawyer BS

Putting away the bad guys

Giving punk ass teens a shit load of community service

Tossing out parking tickets for all the little old ladies

Would definitely be a movie critic on the side 🎞️🍿

Acting more like Stetler and Waldorf 😂💜

Mike 

Animal Control Officer. 

Especially the big scary shit. 

Like crocodiles. 🐊

Or Huntsman spiders. 🕷️

I can see him Snow Whiting that shit too. 

*Sings sweetly and turns into the Pied Piper for all animals*

And sometimes women

Mike, as the animal control officer, would be like 

Crocodile Dundee x Steve Irwin. 

Asshole would be yelling CRIKEY at the worst moments.

Arrives at someone's house

Walks across the lawn to get to the backyard

For a run-of-the-mill opossum removal 

Finds your dog's chewed-up crocodile stuffed toy lying in the yard

Screams, "CRIKEY!"

right before you step on it and scaring the ever-loving shit out of you

As he dives in front of you and wrestles the toy like Ace Ventura

Tells you he's billing you for hazard pay 😂

He's totally only kidding

But still an ass 🧡

Leo  

OSHA inspector 😂💙 

Chief of all safety 

And the world's best asshole. 

"I'm sorry, sir. That cracked outlet cover is a direct OSHA violation." 😂

"No, ma'am, I will not drop the $5000 violation for all the missing grounding prongs on the shop vacs."

Would probably work part-time for a boys' teen center

Where all the little rat bastards delinquents like to hang out

And cause major shit

Teaching them respect

And Honor™ 

Through free ninjitsu classes 🥷🏽

I can also see him being a Fire Inspector. 

Working with the broski

Can you imagine?

Having Red and Blue show up at your workplace for a walkthrough inspection?

Bye bye panties 🩲

Oh shit

I'm on fire🔥

Safety Violation in progress

Get out those hoses

And hose me down, boys

🔥🔥💙❤️🔥🔥

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[spkyscry-a]

"Bloody ‘ell, th’ fook I end up now?”