#Loki: (messed up memory and doesn't want anyone to know his business anyway) no i don't. i don't know what you're talking about.

[worstloki]

prediction for @galaxythreads' fic You Screamed For So Long We Forgot To Care Anymore 

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 7 (Bucky Barnes au)

“You had a speech, you're speechless

Love slipped beyond your reaches”

"Steve told me about what happened. Are you okay?"

"Sure. Don't worry, Bruce," you said as you looked through the microscope. "We have work to do."

"This doesn't mean we can't talk about it if you need to."

You watched him mixing chemicals with hesitant hands. "This should work, by the way. I think I found the right..."

"What? The right what?"

"Shit," he muttered as foam started forming at the surface of the liquid. "We need to leave. Now, Y/n!"

Bruce ran towards you and dragged you out of the lab, closing the fire door. You were still right in front of it when the explosion went off, deafening you for a few seconds. You looked around you, wondering why no one else was freaking out about the lab blowing up.

"Y/n, hey, it's fine."

You looked around you. You were hearing Bruce again, but where was he? You pulled your hair, tears running down your face and your heart beating out of your chest. Everything seemed blurry and dangerous. Why wasn't anyone scared?

"I'll go get someone." That wasn't Bruce. Who? All you knew was it was a woman's voice.

You fell to your knees : why didn't they hurt?

"It's okay, I'm here. Breathe." You knew this voice. Of course you did. Why weren't you able to see whoever had spoken? Your vision was less blurry than before, but still... You couldn't think straight.

"Here. Do you feel my hands?"

A pressure on both your shoulders encouraged you to nod. You did feel hands on your shoulders. Looking up, you recognised his long dark hair, then the two blue orbs staring at you.

"Breathe in, slowly. You got this."

"Wh- what's happening?"

"Nothing bad. Just breathe. I got you."

Your feet left the ground as Bucky carried you somewhere. Your breathing was fast, just like his pace. You laid your hand on his chest, instantly feeling his heartbeat under your palm. It was so much slower than yours. You closed your eyes, shifting all your focus on this single heartbeat, doing your best to forget about yours.

"Okay, I'm sitting you down right now. You can open your eyes, it's fine."

You couldn't let go of him. You must've been grabbing his shirt really hard, because he decided to sit down next to you and keep holding you. When you opened your eyes again, you were surrounded by billions of stars. The familiar room soothed you, and so did Bucky's presence at your side. Your breathing calmed down progressively.

"Thank you," you whispered. "What happened? The lab exploded and...nobody cared. Is everyone okay? Did Bruce get out?"

"It was a minor lab malfunction. It was a minor explosion. No one got hurt."

"Minor? No, it was...it was so loud." Unwelcome memories were flashing before your eyes and you shook your head to drive them away. "It was like Sokovia all over again."

"Oh, alright... Look at me." You tilted your head up and met with his blue eyes. "You had a panic attack. It made you feel everything stronger. That happens, okay?"

"Does it? Do you have those to?"

He nodded with a sigh. "They're normal. After what you went through..."

"What gave you yours?" You bit your cheek. "Sorry. I just...when whatever this was happened, I saw them again. My parents. The bomb making our rooftop fall over their bodies. It was..."

"Hey, I'm here now." Bucky hugged you tighter and you gave in to the embrace. Damn, being close to him made you forget about everything else. "I have those in the middle of the night, sometimes. Whether it's because I remember something H.Y.D.R.A made me do or a nightmare waking me up, they're always like what you went through here. Thing is, you don't have to go through those alone."

You hesitated before taking his hand.

"H.Y.D.R.A.? As in...the ones that did those things to Wanda and Pietro?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't know they'd done those things to you too. I'm sorry."

Bucky gave you a weak smile before looking down at your joined hands.

"They're the one who gave me the arm. I mean, not this one, but...that's them. The super soldier serum, too."

"I'm guessing they didn't make you fight the Nazis..."

"I fought for them." He looked away, letting go of your hand. You furrowed your brows and grabbed it back.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," you said. "But you're back now. Alive."

"At what cost, though?"

"We wouldn't have met." You blushed instantly after saying that sentence. "I mean..."

"No, you're right." He looked back at you as he leaned his head against the wall behind you. "Sometimes I just feel like I can't get rid of what's left of them. I can't be the old me again."

You waited before saying anything back, putting some orders in your thoughts. "I never knew the old you. But I like who you are now."

Bucky paused for a moment, scrutinising your face as if searching for a lie. "I still feel, look too much like...like him. The arm was a first change, but..."

"It's not that easy. I get it. Just...know that's okay, too. It takes time to heal."

--- Two days later

"Look who's up, if that isn't the birthday girl!" Sam exclaimed as he handed you a cup of coffee. You'd just walked into the kitchen and you already had a smile on your face. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks, dude."

"And look who woke up hours ago? Damn, y'all have messed up sleep schedules."

"Shut up, Sam," you and Bucky said in unison, causing you both to laugh a little.

You hadn't heard from Darren in two days, but you weren't feeling that down about it anymore. You'd been getting to know Bucky more and seeing him laugh along with you and Sam as the sun rays hit his profile felt like home.

"Happy birthday, by the way."

"Thanks, Bucky." You smiled to him but looked away pretty fast – this might or might not have anything to do with Sam looking at you with a grin.

"Anyway," he says, "I hope you're not busy working with Banner today because-"

Your phones buzzed, and the three of you read the name of the expeditor. You hesitated before you grabbed your phone and read the text Darren had sent you.

"Got plans for your birthday?"

"It's not what I wished he'd said...but it's a start, I guess." You let out a sigh, pondering what to respond with.

"Before that husband of yours interrupted me, I was actually telling you about your plans for the day, lady."

"Really? And what are those plans exactly, bird guy?"

"First, don't call me that or else I cancel the stripper Nat hired for you."

"The what?" You almost spat out your coffee, triggering Sam's laugh and bringing an amused smile to Bucky's face.

"I'm kidding, Y/n. We did plan a party, but no stripper. Sorry."

"You'll be the death of me. But thank you for doing that for me." You shook  your head as you end up laughing along. Your mood darkened a bit when you read the text again. "Should I tell him to come?"

"If you want to." Sam shrugged. "Just remember how he talked to you the other day, and don't be too nice with him, alright?"

"What about this : I do, actually. It's up to you to show up tonight at the compound, if you really want to be there or not." Bucky tilted his head to the side before he nodded. "Okay, sent. Now what can I help with, for tonight?"

"Nothing! Bucky's picking up the cake last minute tonight, and Scott and I are in charge of the playlist."

"Then I'm sure it'll be a sick playlist. In a good way, of course."

"You like his music taste?" Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Stop bickering, the two of you. And as a matter of fact, yes!" You chuckled  at the thought of tonight's party. "Who will be there, by the way?"

"Pretty much everyone. Nat's coming back from D.C. for the occasion and Tony and Pepper said they'd come too. I think Sharon said she'd be there, and..."

"Ooooh, that'll make Steve happy," you chimed in.

"Don't say that in front of him. They kissed once and he's not even allowing us to tease him about it."

"He's no fun," you complained.

"I heard that!" Steve shouted from the other room.

"Go see elsewhere if we care, old man!" Sam laughed at your comeback, and you heard Steve chuckle as well.

Damn, your birthday was off to a good start. You could only hope that feeling would last.

-- I KNOW it's getting long, but bear with me and I promise you won't regret where these two will take you! I'm starting to think this will be 15 parts long max. Might be shorter too. Let me know what you thought about this part!

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