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stayxlix · 1 year ago

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off the deep end. (05)

~(part 5) the weight of the world~

pairing: rebel!felix x reader (f)

genre: non-idol au, post-apocalypse/dystopian au. wc: 21.1k (i have no explanation for this, pls forgive me)

series rating: 18+ **minors do not interact**

chapter warnings: violent mature themes, mentions of murder/death, choking (sexual and not sexual), explicit sexual content (consensual, unprotected sex, oral sex (m receiving), fingering), breeding kink if you squint, oppressive government, fighting, weaponry (gunfire, knife use), injury, blood, language, angst!!!, please lmk if i missed any!!

a/n: thank you all so much for your continued support, i have been absolutely blown away by the kindness and interest you guys have shown for my little story :) it truly means the world to me and as always any feedback, likes, and reblogs are more appreciated than you know. i hope you enjoy.♡♡

~series masterlist~

"because time is a merciless force, far more precious than anything tangible in this world. no matter who you are, no matter where you come from, it always runs out. no matter what you do once it is gone, you will never be able to win it back."

“Don’t let me love you.”

Had he really said that?

Had he really dared to speak it into existence?

Felix squeezed his eyes shut so tightly he saw stars behind them. Stars that reminded him of the night sky, just hours before, with your bodies intertwined on the rooftop underneath it. The steady rhythm of your breathing against his forearm as you slept. And he couldn't lie, the temptation to fall asleep next to you, to let the weariness overtake him was more than strong. Not to mention the fact that Felix was certain it might just be the best night’s sleep he would ever get. But he couldn't afford to fall asleep last night, because he knew what would happen if he didn’t wake up in time.

And yet, Felix didn’t necessarily mind the need to stay awake. Because instead of being kept up by disturbing memories and his own tormenting thoughts that surrounded them, as was the case on most nights, he'd had something else to anchor him to consciousness last night.

You.

Felix spent hours underneath the moonlight lightly brushing the hair from your face whenever the breeze blew it back. He traced over the faint bruises on your skin, bruises left by his fingertips, a stark contradiction to your angelic appearance.

You may not have been an angel in the eyes of the gods above, considering that the things the two of you had done together tonight were far from pure, but you certainly were to him. In that moment, you were an angel to Felix who was everything opposite of what it meant to be one.

You were his angel.

Another gust of wind caused you to shift even closer, seeking refuge in the warmth of his chest, and suddenly Felix was thankful that he had always been warm blooded. He pulled his jacket over you when he noticed the goosebumps decorated across your skin. The wind pushed your hair back once again, and his eyes fell to the deep purple mark on your neck.

Another trace of his cursed touch, burned into your skin.

Stupid.

Stupid how badly he wanted them all to see it. Not just the seven boys downstairs, no, the entirety of all nine districts. He wanted them all to witness the traces he had left on your body. A selfish, dangerous desire that threatened to consume him whole.

If it were up to him, Felix would've spent the rest of eternity in last night. But time had never been a friend to Felix, and he was all too familiar with the fleeting nature of happiness. So when the morning light broke through his half-lidded eyes, he furrowed his brows. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to slip from your arms. A soft whine escaped your lips, and he wondered if you would think he had left by choice when you woke to find him missing. He wondered if it would make you regret last night.

Maybe it would be better if you did.

Felix unwraveled your bodies, carefully lowering your head back down against the blanket. He stood and collected your clothing, folding it and placing it into a neat pile beside your head. And then, after one final glance, his eyes lingering a little longer than they should have on your sleeping form underneath his jacket, he turned to leave.

Because a promise made to the devil can’t be broken.

And the devil waits for no one.

And when Felix returned from hell to find you standing inside the entrance of Yellow Wood next to Chan and Minho, he knew he wasn’t making it out of this unscathed. He knew he was done for when he felt his heartbeat quicken at the mere sight of you with his jacket in your hand and his mark on your neck, left exposed by your hair that probably still had his scent in it.

Don’t let me love you.

Perhaps his words hadn’t really been meant for you at all. Perhaps they had been a desperate plea to some higher power above that he’d never even been given the chance to believe in.

Perhaps they had been meant for himself, instead. A final request before he crossed a line he was never meant to cross. Before he made choices intertwined with consequences that he couldn’t even begin to understand.

After he watched you disappear with Chan through the front doors, Felix stumbled back down the staircase, making himself comfortable with his back to the railing. The rooftop had since been occupied by Jisung, Jeongin, and Seungmin, and in all honesty he didn’t really feel like talking (or smoking whatever their chosen substance might have been today). Although he couldn’t fault them for it, considering what you were about to get yourselves into. Ever since the nine of you had returned together from the palace, there had been a shift in the atmosphere. Something unspoken between every single one of you. Fear, maybe. Apprehension, sure. That and the gut feeling that something permanent was coming. And he couldn’t blame the others for wanting to make the most out of every fleeting moment of normalcy they had left.

He certainly had. Last night, with you.

You weren’t his first, but part of him wished you had been because he'd had no idea it was supposed to feel like that. After last night, Felix was positive that he hadn’t been your first either, and he certainly knew better than to think he would be your last. Although he did like to entertain the idea of you belonging solely to him. Even if only for the remainder of your time together.

Fuck, what was wrong with him?

He crashed his head back against the railing, letting out a frustrated groan that echoed throughout the empty space.

The time passed slowly as he waited for you to return with Chan. Somewhere in between messy thoughts that blurred the lines between reality and desire, between the way Felix wanted you and the way he knew he was never meant to have you, he drifted off into a light sleep. Slumped against the staircase, it must have been several hours before he was abruptly awakened by a shout that rang in through the open windows.

Had it come from the backyard?

And was it Chan’s voice?

His eyes snapped open, his ears perked up, and he stood immediately, locking eyes with Hyunjin who rushed in from somewhere on the main floor. The two made eye contact only briefly before Chan’s muffled voice rang out once more. Felix was all too familiar with the tone it carried. He dreaded that tone, and he knew Hyunjin did too.

Without exchanging a single word, the two crashed through the front doors. Hyunjin was faster, not by much, but enough to pull ahead of Felix and make it around the corner a few seconds earlier. And it was only when Hyunjin stopped and took a step to the side that Felix saw the reason for the distress in Chan's voice.

His entire body went rigid. His heart stopped beating. His lungs refused to grant him another breath, and he failed to see anything other than the figure pressed to the ground in front of him. And Felix couldn't move a muscle, but he could feel you there. He wanted to look for you, to pull you in and shield you from the man at his feet. He wanted it more than anything but he just couldn’t bring his body to move. As if his muscles had been paralyzed by something far more wicked than fear, because he knew why the man had followed him here. After all, their meeting earlier hadn’t exactly gone as planned. And if he was being honest, Felix had known for a while that this was coming.

Or at least, he should have known. He should have known better than to let his guard down, even for a second. For fucks sake he should have known better. Its just that he'd thought, he’d hoped, that if the group left for Miroh soon then it wouldn’t matter. Because by the time the man came for him, the nine of you would be long gone.

But time had never been a friend to Felix.

As his mind raced with worry and regret, Felix was suddenly ripped from his trance when, out of the corner of his eye, he registered you standing in front of him. Before he knew it your hand was against his cheek. Your touch was tender, the skin of your palm impossibly soft, unlike his own calloused hands. A stark reminder of the differences in the lives you had lived.

You whispered something to him, a single word, and it didn’t even matter that he couldn’t register what it was. Because just as if you had thrown him a lifeline, Felix was freed from the restraints of fear. Finally able to move again, he wasted no time in shifting his gaze down to meet your own.

But it only made things worse.

Catastrophically. Worse.

Because when Felix met your eyes he was forced to confront the fact that it wasn’t his own life he was afraid for. He could handle the thought of himself being destined for some kind of horrible fate. He’d come to terms with it years ago, long before he had ever met any of the others.

But not you.

The thought of you being dragged into the same poisonous web that he was caught in filled him with a dread so profound it was as if a physical weight was pressing on his chest.

So he decided in that moment that he would sacrifice himself a thousand times over to keep you safe. The world could destroy him, the man at your feet could drag him back to hell, but Felix would not let the devil lay his hands on you.

And so, after the argument with Chan and Minho regarding whether or not to let the man live, an argument that he couldn’t have cared less about because he’d already made up his mind, Felix knew exactly what he had to do. With every once of determination left in his body, he forced his legs to take him outside. To the backyard, where he told Jisung that he had been instructed to keep watch next. And of course Jisung believed him, because he would have no reason to suspect that the stranger tied to the tree wasn’t really a “stranger” to Felix after all.

As soon as Jisung disappeared around the corner, Felix crouched down. He assumed the most threatening expression he could manage, devoid of anything but pure venomous hatred, which was more than easy to do. He steadied himself, steadied his breathing so that his voice wouldn't come out shaky.

And then, Felix proposed a deal with the devil.

He would set the man free. Untie the ropes that bound him, toss the gun aside, and go back with him willingly.

And the man was more than eager to accept his proposal, however, what Felix hadn’t realized is that he had come to Yellow Wood without any intent to bring Felix back alive.

And so after the gun was cast into the woods, and the ropes were untied, within seconds his hands had found their way to Felix’s throat. They clamped down with a merciless grip, forcing Felix to come face-to-face with another crucial decision.

Even if he somehow managed to break free from the man's grasp, which seemed increasingly less likely with every passing second as his vision began to fade and he lost feeling in his fingertips, Felix knew that it wouldn't matter. Because if he lived tonight, then the man would be back tomorrow, and the next day, and every day after. He would bring the rest of the ghosts from Felix's past and they would never stop looking for him. Which meant that they would never stop looking for you. And for Chan, and Hyunjin, and the rest of the boys. Such a small handful of lives, and yet they were the only thing that mattered at all to Felix in this world. Seven, no eight precious, precious lives that he cherished far more than his own.

And so he slowly loosened his grip around the hands at his throat, granting them permission to press further into his windpipe. Because if Felix gave the man what he wanted tonight, then he would have no reason to return. He would have no reason to come after you, or to learn the truth about who you really were and what you really meant to Felix. And you, and Chan, and the others would have one less obstacle to face. You would be free to save the world just as Felix knew you could, and you certainly didn’t need him to do it.

And as his consciousness wavered, Felix was certain that it must have been due to oxygen loss when his eyes lulled open and he saw you standing over him, outlined by silver moonlight. If angels really did exist, then surely he had been right to think that you were one. Sent to take him somewhere far away that he could finally rest his tired eyes and numb his mind.

It was only after the cool air flooded back into his lungs and he regained consciousness that Felix realized the vision of you standing before him hadn’t been a figment of his imagination or a heavenly apparition at all. That it really was you, in the flesh. Tangible and real. Vulnerable and terrified.

With a bloody knife in one of your hands, and his beating heart in the other.

“So let me get this straight. You’re saying that he just freed himself?” Chan's voice overflowed with skepticism as he stared at Felix with a narrow, unwavering gaze.

Shadows cast by the setting sun had overtaken the world once again, including the forest to your back that had lost all of its earlier charm. You stood shielded behind Felix while he attempted to explain to Chan and the others why there was a dead body at your feet.

“Bullshit. I tied those knots so tightly he couldn’t even move," Changbin interjected, crossing his arms where he stood next to Chan.

And you remained silent, despite the fact that you had your own doubts about Felix’s explanation of the events leading up to the man’s escape. Even if you hadn’t witnessed anything prior to walking in on the stranger with his hands around his neck, his life hanging on by a thread, you knew he was lying. The way his eyebrow twitched slightly when he spoke, how he hadn't looked up from his feet since the others had joined you outside. And Changbin was right, the man wouldn’t have been able to slip out of the knots he'd tied. The mere suggestion that he had freed himself sounded quite ridiculous, actually, and the very thought caused your anger to return at full force.

Because why the hell would Felix have released him willingly?

“Does it even matter how he got out? He’s dead. He deserved it anyway,” Minho huffed, stepping up beside Chan.

“That’s not the point," Chan shook his head in frustration, "if we go around killing people, no matter who they are or what they deserve, then we aren’t any better than those in power now.”

Those in power now.

As in your father, casting his own shadow on the conversation. A constant reminder that, whether you wanted to acknowledge it or not, he was still a part of your life. And he always would be. His presence would persist, his ghost would follow you wherever you went, until he was removed from this world for good. Permanently.

Chan sighed, low and heavy, in an obvious attempt to control his anger.

“Fine, Felix. Let's say that he did somehow manage to free himself, although I hope you realize how absurd that sounds-”

It does. He knows.

"It still doesn’t explain how he ended up like that.”

He gestured to the body that lie motionless on the ground, and you braced yourself, preparing to face the moment you had been dreading. The fragile trust that you'd begun to build with some of the boys—Chan, Jisung, Seungmin, maybe even Jeongin too—was about to blow to pieces. Your actions would expose the darker side of yourself that you longed to bury, the part that mirrored the ruthless monster that had brought you into this world. Even if you had acted to protect Felix, it didn’t erase the fact that you’d taken a man’s life when you could have chosen to injure him instead. Not that they would have known that, but a stab to the back so deep that it went all the way through to the chest didn’t exactly come across as self defense.

Your heart pounded in your ears, your palms became sweaty, and you could hardly stand the silence as their eyes bore into you, looking through you. So you went to take a step around Felix. You opened your mouth but before you could gather the courage to confess, the freckled boy intercepted your movement, blocking your path.

“What do you think happened?" He spoke firmly, matter-of-factly, with a hint of irritation laced in between words, "He came after us.”

All eyes suddenly fell to Felix and you closed your own, waiting for him to continue. To seal your fate by exposing to them what you had done. But to your surprise, that moment never came.

“He came after us, so I killed him."

I killed him.

His sudden revelation caught you off guard, and because you were actually physically stunned, it took several moments for you to conceal the astonishment that had fallen across your face. When you turned to look at him he remained stoic, resolute, as he avoided your inquiring eyes.

Why would he take the fall?

Maybe it was best to let him.

Chan observed the exchange between you and Felix, he studied it, before landing his eyes on you. A lump formed in your throat and you swallowed hard, searching for the strength to meet his eyes. With a slight nod, you confirmed Felix’s lie. Chan didn’t know you like he knew Felix, which meant he couldn’t read you as well. And you hated how easy it had always been for you to lie. Just another trait inherited from your father, another reminder of the darkness that flowed within your veins.

Chan turned around slowly to face the others, and you couldn’t help but feel a small pang of regret at your decision to allow Felix to take the blame. You didn’t want to lie to any of them, especially not Chan, but in that moment you were more than thankful for the temporary escape from the consequences of your actions. Whatever they may have been.

“We need to get rid of the body before morning. In case any of them come back,” Chan spoke with authority as he addressed the group.

Minho and Changbin came forward immediately, and you took a few steps out of their way. As they reached down to lift the body, Chan instructed Hyunjin to find something they could use to dig.

“Everyone else get inside. We leave tomorrow for Miroh. We’ll load the supplies in the morning, so just get some rest. Pack your things, and bring it all….in case..." He trailed off because there was no need to finish the sentence. His unspoken words hung heavy in the air.

In case we don’t make it back.

With solemn expressions, the group dispersed, footsteps muffled by the earth beneath their feet. Jeongin trailed behind Seungmin and Jisung as they moved quickly toward the building. Casting one more inquisitive glare between you and Felix, Chan joined Minho and Changbin in carrying the body.

Felix was the first one inside after his hurried footsteps had taken him to the front of the group, and you had a feeling you knew just where he was headed when he hastily climbed the staircase, hands in his pockets. Jisung hesitated a moment, looking back to you as if he wanted to say something before ultimately deciding against it. With a tender glance in your direction, one that made you think he might have wanted you to follow him, he wandered off into the main floor. Jeongin leaned in and whispered something to Seungmin who hushed him as the two followed each other up the staircase. At the top, they walked off in the opposite direction that Felix had taken.

And there you were, left standing alone with a choice to make.

Beyond drained at this point, both physically and mentally, you probably could have collapsed right there in the entryway. Or maybe you could claim one of the many empty rooms upstairs. There were certainly enough options to find a secluded place for yourself, and yet, despite how frustrated you were with Felix, despite your anger at him for the events that had unfolded tonight, part of you desperately longed to be by his side. After all, you were the only one that knew just how close he had come to death.

And so the choice became an easy decision.

As you ascended the staircase, you traced the railing with your hand. Every step you took down the hallway, every rung on the ladder you climbed, brought you back to last night. Impossible to ignore the way that you could literally feel yourself there, just twenty four hours before. And it might have been surprising, how much could change in a single day, if the course of your entire life hadn’t been turned upside down over and over again in the span of less than a month.

Grabbing onto the final rung of the ladder, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to find him there on the other side. Its not like you had any desire to talk about what had happened tonight. There was just something indescribable that compelled you to be next to him now, overpowering any hesitation that might have crossed your mind.

After pulling yourself up onto the rooftop, your heart sank when your eyes fell to the shadowy figure with his back turned to you, lying on the harsh ground with his dark hair splayed out against the hoodie that he used as a makeshift pillow. The thin blankets lie untouched next to him, almost making it seem as though he’d left them there on purpose, as if he had been expecting someone to join him. You stared at his back for a moment, picturing the faded scar that lie across his shoulder underneath the thin material of his shirt.

You weren’t sure if he was asleep at first, and when he stirred you froze, debating on whether or not you had time to leave before he turned around. But he didn’t move any further and after a moment of silence, eyes trained on his steady figure, you took a few tentative steps. As quietly as you could, you crossed the still air over fallen leaves and thick vines that stretched along the rooftop ground. After lowering yourself to sit beside him on the blankets, you glanced down at his profile, illuminated by the moon. Plush lips parted ever so slightly, his features cascaded down into a gentle frown even in his sleep. You hovered a hand over his face before lightly brushing the hair from it. After a moment longer, you decided to stay, settling down on the blankets with your back against his.

Just a short time ago, you might have allowed yourself to succumb to tears. Tears of frustration, fear, grief. Grief for the version of yourself that you had lost tonight. Frustration at the freckled boy with the stars in his eyes, and the debilitating fear that washed over you when you thought you really were going to lose him. But you had changed so much in such a short span of time. You could feel yourself growing numb to the pull of your emotions as they became easier and easier to ignore. So holding back the tears, you kept your eyes open for as long as you could until exhaustion began to outweigh the images in your mind of a dead body at your feet and your mothers knife, bloody in your hands.

After ten minutes, maybe twenty, maybe an hour, you felt a warm hand snake around your waist, lifting you from your blissful state of semi-consciousness. You remained still and kept your eyes closed because if it was a dream then you would have given anything to stay asleep just a little longer. When the grip around your waist tightened, pulling you into a protective embrace, you were almost certain that it was a dream. Nothing more than a fragment of your imagination as your subconscious longed for some form of comfort. And just as you began to slip back into the welcoming darkness, you could have sworn that the tone carried by the wind sounded a lot like the voice your ears had come to crave.

“I’m sorry, princess.”

It was the last thing you remembered from that night as you allowed his words to fade into nothing, still questioning if he had really said them at all.

The moon never stayed for very long.

When you woke the following morning, it was barely morning at all. The faded glow of dawn struggled to find its way through the clouds, casting familiar shades of gray across the sky above. Your eyes fluttered open to momentary disorientation, wondering where you were and why you hadn’t been met with the walls of your bedroom, but it took only seconds for your memory to return. Flooding back as you became aware of the strong arms wrapped tightly around your body, the warm breath grazing against the back of your neck.

In another world, far away from the one you had always known, you might have turned around his embrace. Repositioning yourself to face him, you might have taken the entire morning to memorize every detail of his delicate features. Might have stayed there all day with him on the rooftop, entangled in each other as if you were the only two souls left in existence.

In another life, you might have leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before drifting back off to sleep beside him. Warm, protected, safe, and entirely at ease. Because you wouldn't have a past to run from or a burden the size of the world on your shoulders. You wouldn't have been reminded of last night when you sat up and made note of the red mark etched across his neck.

In another life, it wouldn't have been there at all.

You winced as you turned away, deciding that you needed to get away, before tempting yourself with one more second alone with him like this. And so with a heavy heart, you resisted the urge to crawl back into the embrace that felt a little too much like the home you had never known.

Shivering slightly when the cool breeze hit your skin, you ran your hands through your hair, ignoring the emptiness in your stomach and the thirst on your tongue. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, but it wasn't enough to erase the images burned into your memory from last night. You wondered if anything ever would be.

When you put a hand on the ground to push yourself up to stand, you froze. Stopped by an insistent force holding you back, preventing you from moving even an inch further. You glanced down at the determined hand clasped around your wrist. Firm, but gentle all the same.

Silver rings against calloused fingers.

You traced the intricate details of the bands with your eyes, considering the offer they represented, but you couldn’t accept. You couldn’t stay, no matter how desperately you wanted to. If you had to sleep next to him every single night for the rest of your time spent together to ensure his safety, then so be it. But you would always make sure to leave in the morning. Because you couldn’t afford to offer him anything more than that. You’d done more than enough damage to the both of you two nights ago by allowing yourself to succumb to such primitive, selfish desires. And it scared you, no no it absolutely terrified you, to feel the way you did last night as you watched the life drain from his eyes.

And so in one harsh movement you withdrew your wrist from his grasp.

He didn't say anything. Not when you stood. Not when you found the ladder and took hold of the first rung. He didn’t call out for you, and you didn’t look back.

After making it inside, you allowed yourself a moment of solitude as you passed by the rooms that stretched along the hallway. Most were empty, although you did stumble upon Jeongin and Seungmin fast asleep in one. Jeongin seemed to have claimed the entire space for himself as he lay sprawled out with an elbow in Seungmin's face. The sight caused a smile to tug at your lips, almost enough to distract you from the uneasiness that had found a permanent place in your chest.

Almost.

It didn’t take long for you to come to the conclusion that you could have spent forever within the walls of Yellow Wood. Surrounded by the remnants of a past that had long been forgotten, just like the souls who had left them behind. Shelves that stood hardly intact were lined by books, with many of their pages loosely scattered across the ground. You wondered what secrets they held, and as you continued on you wondered what secrets each of the boys had made inside the walls of Yellow Wood. Cherished memories, favorite places to hide, where they went to be alone when it all became too much.

When you reached the main floor you found your way to the room that you had been locked outside of last night with Hyunjin. Where Minho and Chan had argued about the fate of the intruder..before you solidified the decision for them.

The door was open, and when you entered you found Chan alone inside. He was leaned over a long table in the middle of the room, hands resting on the surface. A number of documents lay scattered in front of him. One particularly large sheet stretched nearly the entire length of the table, curling at the edges. It appeared to be a map, and you made note of your fathers journal where it lay open on top of it amidst the chaos. A small candle that was no longer necessary lie on the surface of the table, nearly burned through.

When you found your place at his side, Chan handed you a small canteen. You gladly took him up on the offer, putting it to your lips and taking a few sizable gulps, and it wasn’t until the lukewarm liquid trickled down your throat that you realized it had been sore. The water tasted stale, at best, and anyone from the palace would have spit it out in an instant. But you liked the taste. It helped to ground you, reminding you where you were and what lie outside the walls that surrounded you now.

“Didn’t sleep?” You turned to face Chan, who had circles so dark underneath his eyes it looked as if it had been a lot longer than just one night since he had gotten any sort of rest. And rightfully so, because while you might have assumed the weight of the world on your shoulders only recently, Chan had been carrying that burden for far longer.

“Couldn’t,” he responded without looking up from the table, squinting as his eyes remained fixed on the pages strewn about beneath him. You reached a hand out to move some of them around, and he straightened his posture before turning and unraveling something from a cloth at his side.

"This is yours, yeah?"

Your gaze dropped to the knife in his hand as he held it out to you. Your knife, your mother's knife, that you had carried with you for as long as you could remember. The knife that you’d left lying in the grass last night after using it to end a life. You took it from him without a word, tracing your thumb along the intricate floral design carved into the handle. Making note of the dried blood that saturated the blade.

"Want to tell me the truth about what happened last night?"

Your eyes fell back to the table as you slid the knife into its usual place in your waistband and took your bottom lip in between your teeth. Chan studied your face for a moment before coming to the conclusion that no matter how much he pried, you weren’t going to give him what he wanted. With a sigh, not wanting to push you too far because of the fragile nature of your developing relationship, he brought a hand to his forehead where he pressed a few fingers against his temple.

“Look, y/n I get it. I don’t know what happened and you don’t have to tell me now if you’re not ready. Just remember that if we’re going to have any chance out there then we need to trust each other. Completely.”

Tell that to the others.

You nodded without looking up from the table and after a moment, he spoke again.

“Recognize this?” He pointed to your father's journal and you nodded for a second time. The map that lie underneath it resembled the map on the wall in your fathers study, although the one in front of you now was far less detailed.

He must have taken note of the way it caught your attention, brushing some of the papers away to expose it further.

“We’re familiar with the inner districts, but anything beyond is pretty much unknown. We haven't been outside of six in years."

He picked up a loose sheet of paper from the table and looked it over before handing it out to you.

You recognized the words on the page. You had seen them before. Scribbled on the missing pages of your fathers journal, and you could only assume that Chan had been smart enough to jot down the contents before handing them back over to you to return to your father’s study. When you looked up from the page he pointed to a spot near the edge of the map and your eyes followed.

"Here."

He tapped his finger against it once.

"If this is all correct, then it should be right here..”

"Miroh." You whispered underneath your breath, and he hummed in agreement beside you.

"And we are..." He lifted his finger back up and brought it to the opposite side of the map, closest to where you stood. He picked up a short wooden pencil and drew a line loosely connecting the two points, and suddenly you understood why he hadn't slept.

Because it wasn't going to be an easy journey to get to the supposed location of Miroh from your current position in District 6. It wouldn’t be as simple as turning around and heading behind you. As the districts were arranged in concentric rings, reaching Miroh where it lie at the border between Districts 1 and 2 meant that you would have a choice to make, with several possible paths laid out in front of you.

"So we either...." you trailed off, tracing the thin line he had drawn over and over again with your eyes.

“Move straight ahead and cross back through District nine”, he finished your sentence and you swallowed dryly at the mention of your former residence, “or we take a longer route, we stay in six and trace it around until we spit out on the opposite side of nine. And then we head straight back into the outer districts that way. Of course, the biggest problem with taking the longer route is..."

He took a swig from the canteen, and you took the liberty of finishing his sentence for him this time.

“Fuel."

He gave you a confirming nod. "Fuel. Fuel and supplies..among other things.”

So it was a choice between the lesser of two evils, really.

Heading back into the heart of District 9, swarming with your father and his guards, meant certain death for every single one of the boys if you got caught. Then again, tracing along the border of District 6 raised concerns regarding fuel, supplies, and prolonged time spent in the unknown.

Visually displayed out in front of you like this, it all seemed so much further away.

Together, the two of you spent the better part of the morning trying to come up with the best route to take, relying heavily on your knowledge of your fathers favored routes and Chan's experience in the districts. You sat at the edge of the table tracing out the routes that you knew your father and his army frequented. Information you had gained over time from eavesdropping in on important conversations and studying the maps in his office.

As time passed, the rest of the boys began to trickle in. Minho and Jisung came in first together, followed by Changbin, and before long you were surrounded by seven familiar faces.

All except for one.

It quickly became apparent that the amount of fuel you'd managed to obtain from the palace wouldn’t be enough to get you to Miroh and back. Minho expressed concern about whether or not it would even be enough to get you there in the first place, but he didn’t say anything further when Chan reminded him that the best option to save fuel would be to cross straight through the heart of District 9 at the start of your journey. Which you had all collectively agreed was not an option.

You suggested heading inward, following inside District 7 or 8 instead of 6, but Chan was worried that it would still be too close to your father, and that people there would know your face by now, and he was probably right. Changbin suggested heading into the outer districts from the start, beginning with 5 and so on, but Chan shut down that idea too.

Your apprehension grew with every passing moment as the boys offered each of their opinions. A slight adjustment had to be made when Jisung reminded Chan of the brief encounter where he and Seungmin had come across the supposedly abandoned shack with the liquor stash, and he’d almost “had his dick shot off” by the owner. Chan rolled his eyes as he erased that part of the route.

“What about this,” you reached for the pencil and he placed it in your palm. You traced a faint line the opposite direction.

“-Not if you plan on making it alive.”

The pencil slipped from your grasp as your head shot up in the direction of the door. It was a natural response to sound of the voice that had become one of the only constants in your life since finding out the truth about the world. The voice with the bittersweet allure that you both longed to hear and wished you never would have known, as it brought out emotions that you only hoped would remain buried forever. Emotions that rendered you vulnerable, weak.

Felix stood in the doorway, leaned against the frame with black strands of hair cascading down into his face. Jawline sharp, arms crossed, dark eyes heavy set. The room fell silent as tension creeped back into the air. Tension that lingered from last night, as you were fairly certain they all suspected that he hadn’t told the full truth about what had happened. Or perhaps it was tension that lingered between the two of you, after you left him on the rooftop this morning following your breakdown in front of him last night. Either way, his sudden presence only magnified the strain in the air.

He lifted himself from the frame and stepped out into grey light that filtered in through cracked windows. He took a few purposeful steps and you held your breath momentarily when he passed behind you, lightly brushing against your back. There wasn’t much space at all for him to squeeze in between you and Chan, but he made it work, and you forced your eyes to look anywhere other than his arms as his muscles flexed when he leaned over the table.

“Anywhere but there,” he emphasized, while you stared at the wall over Jeongin’s shoulder. You watched out of the corner of your eye as Felix erased the line you had just drawn, using the other end of the pencil to create a new one.

And with that, the path to Miroh was solidified. You would follow District 6 around, avoiding the inner districts at all costs, until you reached the point where it would be a straight shot back to Miroh.

When Chan folded the map, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of your stomach as the solidification of a route made the daunting journey ahead that much more real. Not to mention the fact that the distance to reach your destination seemed far greater and more vigorous than you had originally pictured in your mind.

Despite your uncertainty about the future, one thing had become clear through your time spent planning a route.

The unspoken bond between the boys.

It made you long for whatever it was they shared, the unity that propelled them forward as a team. And not a single one of them had brought up the fact that what you were about to do was insane.

Which it was.

It absolutely was.

The air outside hung heavy with an eery stillness. The world lie motionless as if it was waiting, watching.

In silence you helped the boys hurriedly load the rover with everything that would fit, throwing bags in through the open roof or the open frame and onto the seats.

Apprehension wove its way deeper into your veins as you glanced over your lifeline of miscellaneous supplies. If Chan was right, if Miroh wasn’t a myth and your fathers journal held the truth on how to reach it, if your blood really was the key that would get you inside, then there would be enough provisions there to keep you alive until you were able to come up with the next part of your plan.

But if one tiny detail went wrong along the way, if you experienced even the slightest disruption among countless unknowns and potential threats…well it didn't really matter, did it? Because it was a risk that at this point, none of you really had much choice but to take.

After heaving a particularly heavy bag into the vehicle, you wiped the sweat from your brow and looked up to see Minho stepping out of the building with a small black duffel bag slung around his shoulder, his arms piled high with what appeared to be very basic medical supplies. You took a step back as he approached the side of the vehicle. When he went to toss everything inside, a roll of gauze slipped from his grasp and you kneeled to pick it up, handing it out to him. As he reached for it your eyes fell to a thin bracelet around his wrist that looked as if it had been crafted from a very fine, expensive material commonly used to make accessories in District 9. The bracelet must have held significant meaning for him to have left it on, considering the fact that wearing such an item outside of the Inner Circle would make him a target for anyone looking to make a considerable profit.

When you glanced up your eyes met briefly before he turned away.

“There's more supplies inside,” he grumbled, pulling his sleeve back down before heading in the direction of the building.

Ever since you’d found out the truth about Minho, maybe because you felt some sort of estranged connection to the way his past vaguely mirrored your own, curiosity tugged at your thoughts whenever you saw him.

Why had he left District 9?

Was he driven by similar reasons as you? Or had different motives fueled his choice to leave behind a lifestyle of comfort and safety. Maybe it hadn’t been a choice for Minho at all. Either way, whatever it was, you didn’t have much confidence that you'd ever get to find out because despite your similarities, his resentment for you ran deep. That much was clear.

After the supplies were packed tightly into the vehicle, the boys ran back inside to collect the last of their belongings. All except for Changbin, who remained outside with you because he "didn't have anything worth bringing, anyway.” His powerful demeanor held a hint of uneasiness that mirrored your own doubts.

As the two of you stood in silence, you glanced down at the small backpack in your hand, realizing that in your panic to gather essential supplies for the group you’d managed to neglect your own needs. It contained only a handful of your own clothes, and you wished you would have taken the time to pack at least one more pair of pants or maybe a sweater. Something a little warmer than the light jacket you sported now because of the unpredictable nature of the weather. But you'd only been given so much time and weapons and food were far more important than your own comfort in the bigger picture.

With a deep breath you adjusted the straps of the backpack and put your arms through, securing it to your back.

After the vehicle was topped off with fuel, a moment of stillness settled over the group as the nine of you stood in front of Yellow Wood. Your eyes shifted between the boys, taking in the faces of the only individuals in the world you would have no choice but to trust from this moment on.

When your gaze fell to Felix, you were surprised to find his piercing brown eyes already staring back. It was a fleeting moment, a stolen glance lasting no longer than a few seconds, but it caused your heart to ache nonetheless. Because in his eyes you detected something bordering along the lines of a plea for understanding. Almost as if he’d recognized the gravity of what he had done last night, and the choice it had resulted in you having to make.

And yet, your disappointment and frustration with him lingered because last night had left you even more conflicted about your feelings for him than the first night you shared together on the rooftop. It wouldn’t be easy to forget the fear that gripped you the moment you turned the corner and saw the stranger with his hands wrapped tightly around his throat. It would be even harder to dismiss the overwhelming relief that flooded your veins when you found your way back into his arms.

A stolen glance turned into a battlefield of emotions. And you had no intention of losing the war.

Ripping your eyes from Felix, you took one more glance at the building that towered above you. Chan brought everyone back to the present moment when he announced that he was going to run back inside to grab one last thing he had forgotten.

This prompted the rest of boys to begin piling into the rover, with Jeongin and Seungmin first to take their place in the very back amongst the supplies. You trailed Felix with your eyes as he disappeared around the corner of the building, returning only moments later atop the bike, revving the engine and commanding your attention as if it didn't already belong to him. The trace of softness in his eyes had been replaced by ready determination. He brushed his hair back, revealing the sharp features of his face as he tied the signature bandana around the lower half. When you took a few steps in his direction, he looked to you with unspoken expectation that you would join him on the bike as it had become something of a routine between the two of you.

But this time, something within you resisted.

The freckled boy had a blatant, persistent disregard for his own life. Something that you weren't willing to let go of just yet, despite the fact that you weren’t willing to acknowledge why it bothered you to the extent that it did.

But it did.

With every fiber of your being, it did.

So instead of taking your usual place behind him, you crossed right in front of the bike, stepping up to the rover where Jisung was seated in the middle row next to Changbin. You stole a quick glance back at Felix where you found his stare fixed straight ahead, refusing to meet your eyes.

Minho, who had been watching your calculated actions, snickered from his place in the passengers seat.

You put a hand against the open frame of the vehicle and pulled yourself up, glancing between Jisung and the empty seat beside him.

"Thats Hyunjin's spot, but you're more than welcome to take it," he smirked playfully as the taller golden haired boy approached the vehicle behind you.

You shrugged and plopped down next to Jisung. Hyunjin glared at you before surveying the space inside the vehicle. After coming to the conclusion that there wasn't enough room for him amongst the supplies, he sauntered over to Felix who now had his hands clenched tightly around the handles of the bike, posture rigid, as he continued to stare ahead at nothing in particular.

Hyunjin swung a long leg around the bike behind Felix, and something unexpected fell over you when he wrapped his arms around the younger boy's waist. The feeling grew when your intuition told you that it wasn't the first time the two of them had been this close.

When Chan came running back outside, the heavy doors to Yellow Wood slammed shut behind him for the final time, demanding your attention. He took a quick glance between you and Felix, taking note of the peculiar seating arrangement before handing something out to you.

“I knew we had one more lying around somewhere."

You reached for it, running the soft fabric of the bandana through your fingertips. It matched those that the others had worn the night of raid, the ones that each of them had begun to tie around their faces now.

"Put it on, and don't take it off for anyone. Pull your hood up and tuck your hair in too." He spoke firmly, with no room for negotiation. Not that you would have argued anyway. You were well aware that concealing your identity was just as important as making it to Miroh.

You offered up a simple “got it" in return, acknowledging his instruction.

Satisfied with your response, Chan hopped into the driver's seat in front of you where he proceeded to secure his own bandana around his face. You watched from your position as he glanced down to Felix.

"We stay together, Felix, I mean it. Don't do anything stupid,” he emphasized. “If you see any of them out there we handle it together. Like we always do."

Them.

Including not only your father and his army, but the monsters from Felix's past, however many more of them there may be. And you couldn’t help but wonder just how many additional enemies the boys had made out there—enemies that were now yours too, by default. With Chan’s warning, the possibility of separation also creeped in to your mind. The mere thought of someone discovering your true identity sent shivers racing down your spine because the consequences could mean forced separation from the entire group, including the freckled boy staring at you now.

You took a deep breath as the engines roared to life. With one final glance to Felix you had the sudden urge to explain to him that your decision to avoid joining him on the bike was nothing more than a desperate attempt to protect him from the danger that was now inevitable for anyone who came too close to you.

You’d made a promise, after all.

Don’t let me love you.

Your fleeting regret was swallowed by your world falling to pieces again as Chan stepped on the gas pedal and the vehicle jolted forward. You lifted your arms behind your head and tied the bandana around the lower half of your face. In the rearview mirror, you watched as Yellow Wood disappeared behind you, keeping a part of your innocence with it. Buried somewhere with the body in the backyard.

Even if you never laid eyes on it again, you would be forever thankful that it had allowed you one night of euphoric ignorance before taking the plunge into the unknown. Even if that ignorance had ben ripped from your fingers the moment you thrust your knife into the back of a stranger. You just hoped your memories of the night on the rooftop with Felix would be strong enough to distract you from whatever darkness lie ahead. Yellow Wood wasn't good or evil, it was a place. Nothing more than a temporary refuge that had served its purpose for those who had known it lifetimes ago, for eight boys who called it home when they didn’t have anywhere else to go, and for you in your short time spent sheltered inside its walls.

Nothing more, and yet, the loss tugged at your heart as you watched it slip away.

But it certainly wasn't the first time you'd felt this way. And so you decided that maybe there is always a part of yourself left behind when you leave a place permanently, with a gut feeling that you'll never make it back.

You pulled the hood up as the vehicle raced through the trees and down the hill. You leaned your head back against the seat while the wind whipped through the open frame against your face. With half-lidded eyes, you kept a steady gaze on the motorcycle in front, allowing your shoulder to rest against Jisung's. Partly due to the cramped space, but more so because you were vulnerable, and scared, and desperate for any form of comfort.

Like Felix who's own touch you had begun to crave in moments like this, Jisung’s touch was comforting too, just, in a different way. And if you were being honest, in that moment it did little to ease your nerves. But you kept your shoulder pressed firmly against his nonetheless, digging your nails into your palms, counting the minutes in your head.

Before you left, Chan informed you that District 6 was often considered as a kind of physical border between the inner and outer districts. He had also warned you about the unpredictable nature of its atmosphere, and it didn’t take long for you to realize just how right he had been. The air that surrounded you now only magnified the feeling of lifelessness amidst the desolate landscape.

As you ventured further into the outskirts of District 6, once abundant grass gave way to a predominantly barren expanse. With very sparse patches of green, it was a stark contrast to the forest that surrounded Yellow Wood and the thicker vegetation that you were used to seeing deep within District 9. The breeze was cold but the air was stuffy. And it smelled like mortality, and death, and loss, as if even the earth beneath your feet longed to be brought back to life. The atmosphere around you hung low and heavy with a palpable weight. A mixture of smoke, ash, and decay collected against your skin, wrapping you in a suffocating hold. It was smothering and seemed to fall in waves, alternating between thick pockets of dense fog and areas of cleaner air where you took every opportunity to fill your lungs. Each breath you inhaled caused you to cough, and it didn’t take long for the soreness to return to your throat as the pollution in the air left a bitter taste in your mouth. You figured the boys must have been used to the toxicity and the way it clawed at your lungs because although they cleared their throats frequently, they were nowhere near as affected as you.

Felix looked back in the direction of the rover periodically and you met his gaze every single time. Scanning his face for any hint of distress, hoping he wasn't able to sense your own discomfort. Occasionally, his eyes flicked behind him to Hyunjin before returning ahead.

When you came up upon a particularly dense patch of haze covering the earth ahead, Felix slowed the bike and looked to Chan for direction. After quick assessment of the situation, Chan brought a hand up, signaling to Felix to keep moving forward. You gritted your teeth, shifting uncomfortably next to Jisung, and after another quick glance your way Felix took the lead once again. The roar of the bike’s engine echoed throughout the silence in the air when he accelerated.

When the air around you turned heavy and your incessant coughing resumed, Jisung decided he’d had enough of your suffering. He turned you into his shoulder and pulled the hood higher up over your head so that you could breathe into his shirt. You stayed like that for a while, burying your face further into him despite the fact that you didn’t like not having eyes on the horizon or more specifically, the motorcycle up ahead. But you didn’t have much of a choice as taking slow, deliberate breaths through the fabric of his shirt acted like a filter, bringing a significant amount of relief to your aching lungs.

As the moments passed, it felt increasingly foreign to share such an intimate moment with someone other than Felix. Not that you were comfortable with him yet by any means, you had never really been comfortable with anyone that wasn’t Jisoo, but part of you wished it was him that you were clinging to instead. And even if you couldn't deny the importance of the bond you were beginning to form with Jisung, somewhere buried deep down, a very selfish part of you wished it was Felix instead.

The rover tore up the ground as it moved and when the atmosphere thinned around you once again, Jisung tapped your shoulder lightly.

Slowly, you lifted your head to meet his eyes.

“You good?” he called out, raising his voice to compete with the sound of the engine.

Your head was beginning to throb, you felt more than a little dizzy, and with every bump the rover came across your stomach churned violently, but you managed to give him a soft nod in return. Keeping the bike in your peripherals, you locked eyes with Chan in the rearview mirror. He studied your face for a moment before leaning over and shouting something to Minho that was inaudible to you over the roar of the engine.

Minho pushed the heavy gun in his lap to the side as he bent down to grab something from the floor in front of him, coming back up with a canteen in his hand.

When he turned around and handed it out to you you could have sworn that you saw the faintest glimmer of sympathy in his eyes. Although you quickly acknowledged that it was probably just the lack of fresh air messing with your senses….because there was no way in hell that Minho of all people gave a shit about your condition. As far as you knew, he was probably getting some sick sense of enjoyment out of your misery.

As the minutes blurred into hours and the hours blurred into each other, impossible to track when you couldn’t see the position of the sun in the sky through the clouds, the landscape began to change again before your eyes. Up ahead, the earth transformed into a gradual incline, taking the shape of a towering hill that stretched far and wide. Making note of the change in surroundings, Felix brought the bike to a temporary halt, allowing Chan to catch up once again.

The freckled boy pulled down his bandana and raised his voice, shouting over the rumble of both engines as they idled. It was difficult to hear but you managed to catch a few of his words, leading you to believe that he was suggesting that he and Hyunjin check out the area up ahead before the rest of the group. His proposition made you tense, and your heart quickened when Chan accepted, instructing Felix to stay within sight. Earning a nod from both boys in return.

Taking note of your concern, Jisung leaned down and responded with an encouraging “They’re just going to check it out. Don’t worry, its all good,” before landing a hand on your knee and squeezing for added reassurance.

Felix tensed as he observed your interaction. And it didn't matter that he couldn't feel the warmth of the sun against his skin, because he felt searing flames rise up inside of him when he caught a glimpse of the way you looked at Jisung. Maybe he deserved to feel like this.

His heart skipped a beat when you turned from Jisung to met his own eyes. He held your stare until Chan asked for the second time what he was waiting for and he swiftly turned back around, replacing the bandana over his face.

You watched intently with the rest of the boys as the bike climbed the elevated landscape up ahead. At the top, Felix turned to Hyunjin and the two appeared to share quick word.

Felix looked back.

The motorcycle engine revved.

“Don’t do it…” Changbin muttered from the other side of Jisung, and your grip on the edge of the seat tightened as the bike took off in the opposite direction, descending down the hill and out of your line of sight. In front of you, Chan spat out a curse before slamming the key in the ignition and restarting the engine.

It wasn’t until the rover reached the top of the hill that you caught sight of what had captured their attention. On the other side, the earth descended into a wide valley that looked as if it might have been home to a mighty river once. It was now dry and almost entirely barren, aside from a handful of dying trees and brush. At the bottom, a small beige tent sat partially covered by faint gray smoke that rose up from a pile of dying embers at its side. You spotted Felix and Hyunjin beside it, already inspecting the seemingly abandoned campsite.

Minho leaned over to speak to Chan who you watched in the mirror, far too focused on the scene before you to respond. He gripped the steering wheel, ultimately coming to the conclusion that he had no choice but to step on the gas. He brought the rover to a stop beside the tent at the valley’s lowest point as the engine’s rumble faded into silence.

“Nobody touch anything,” Chan warned, his eyes scanning the surroundings for any signs of hidden threats, “-and stay alert. We shouldn’t even be doing this, we need to keep moving.”

But the boys were hungry and eager to stretch their legs, so they got out and began rummaging through the bags of supplies in search of one with food in it. Changbin pulled out a sizable gun from the back, his fingers gripping it confidently, and Minho cocked his own weapon when his feet hit the earth. Seungmin slung the bow around his shoulder and loaded an arrow, heeding Chan’s warning to stay alert.

As soon as you dropped down from the vehicle your eyes went right to Felix who, despite his quick decision to approach the campsite, appeared visibly uneasy. His eyes scanned the area repeatedly until they landed on you at which point there was a subtle shift in his demeanor, a flicker of vulnerability in his expression. After a moment, he subtly made his way over. You noticed the slight twitch of his fingers as his gaze traveled up and down down your figure, almost as if he wanted to reach out to you, but he held himself back.

Part of you wished that he hadn’t.

Because the vulnerable moment between the two of you was quickly shattered when Chan came storming in from behind you, shoving Felix's shoulder, causing him to stagger slightly.

“Did you not hear what I said about staying in sight?!” He exclaimed, his voice rising with every syllable that fell from his lips.

Felix steadied himself and took a step back in defense before responding, his voice tinged with a hint of defiance. “We needed to make sure it was safe, you should have stayed behind until we knew it was clear-"

“-We could have gone another way!” Chan’s words rang out as he closed the space between them again.

“There isn’t time!" Minho interjected, hurrying over and positioning himself between the two, firmly reminding Chan to keep his voice down.

The group behind you fell silent as they witnessed the exchange. And Minho wasn't exactly wrong. After all, the campsite did appear to be abandoned and to completely avoid it would have taken more time, more fuel, more risk in changing the route. Although that didn’t necessarily imply the need to come down and inspect it up close..

"Fucking reckless. Both of you." Chan shook his head at Felix and Hyunjin before turning around to address the group as a whole. “Let’s just get the hell out of here. We can find somewhere else to stop and rest after the sun goes down,” he continued.

And because the unsettling scene before you made your skin crawl, you were more than eager to oblige.

You went to take a step in the direction of the rover when your foot caught on something, causing you to stumble and collide into Hyunjin at your side. You looked up at him with wide eyes, lifting your hands from his firm chest, bracing yourself for a particularly unpleasant reaction, but you were surprised to find his gaze fixated on the ground behind you instead. Following his stare, you spun around where your eyes landed on something at your feet.

A small gold medallion lay nestled in the grass. You bent down to pick it up and your stomach twisted sickly as you ran your thumb across the surface to wipe off the dirt.

There, in your palm, engraved on the medallion lie your family crest.

The sight sent a shockwave throughout your body as you staggered backward, dropping the medallion, and clutching your chest. The startling realization that the campsite belonged to your father's men, that they had stood in this very spot, that they had been this close, absolutely shattered your composure.

In an instant, all eight boys surrounded you, although you hardly registered them at all as your vision tunneled back to the medallion on the ground.

“Everyone get back to the vehicles. Now.” Chan commanded after examining the pendant for himself. His voice came out as stable as he could manage, but the worry was evident.

In an instant, before anyone was able to take another step, Hyunjin swiftly reached for your arm, his touch was abrupt and forceful as he yanked you backward. A gust of wind brushed by your head, followed by the sharp crack of a bullet embedding itself in the tree to your side. The close call sent adrenaline coursing through your veins and you looked up in shock, locking eyes with Felix whose expression mirrored your own horror. Without a second to thank Hyunjin for quite literally saving your life, all nine of you snapped your heads in the direction that the bullet had come from. The silence that followed the gunshot was shattered by the deafening roar of an engine.

A second rover, identical to the one that had brought you here, emerged over the top of the hill on the other side of the valley.

Nothing you had been put through up to this point could have prepared you for what flooded over you at the sight of the vehicle. Not the final execution you had witnessed at the palace, or the feeling of the knife in your hand as it ripped through a stranger. None of it could ever have compared to the terror that gripped you in that moment.

Because you had been able to protect Felix last night, but you wouldn't be able to save any of them from the impending threat hurdling toward you now.

In less than a second, the world around you descended into chaos.

Sounds blended together into an incomprehensible mess. Unfamiliar voices rang out from up ahead, intertwining with the distant engine of the vehicle and the thundering of gunfire. Chan, you thought, yelled out again for everyone to get back to the vehicles, although his words were quickly swallowed by the madness.

It made sense why your fathers guards would resort to shooting without hesitation. Nobody outside of your father’s army should have had access to a rover like the one parked just feet from you now. Nobody except for the only group of people they knew did have access to one. Because they had watched them use it to escape the night of the raid.

And because of your partially concealed face, how ironic it was that the guards had absolutely no idea that it was you they had almost put a bullet through.

Paralyzing fear took over your body as you watched them close in, rendering your legs immobile. You turned back around, locking eyes with Felix who began to step toward you with his hand outstretched. Just as his fingers brushed against yours, a bullet whizzed between the two of you, forcing him to stumble back.

Suddenly, you felt a powerful tug wrench you away from Felix as Changbin seized hold of you, forcefully guiding you in the opposite direction toward the rover. His voice bellowed out through the chaos as he shouted at Felix to get back to the bike. The freckled boy nodded curtly, eyes trained on you as you fought against Changbin while he tried to push your head down in an attempt to further conceal your identity. Your body resisted his hold, instincts pulling you toward Felix as you desperately wanted to break free and join him on the bike, but it was no use. Changbin was far stronger than you. With one arm around you, Changbin swiftly tossed Hyunjin his gun and without hesitation Hyunjin mounted the bike behind Felix as the engine roared to life.

No matter how much you struggled in Changbin’s grasp, his hold on you remained steadfast. Without a choice, you yielded to his guidance as he pulled you up into the rover. Jisung quickly took the empty spot beside you, but your eyes never wavered from Felix. You watched intently as he turned the handlebars of the bike. Pointing them in the direction of the approaching vehicle, he tightened his grip on the throttle and accelerated a short way before skidding to the side and turning back around. He began to trace a daring path back and forth, kicking a thick cloud of dust into the air and drawing attention to the bike as Hyunjin took aim at your father’s men.

Despite your initial shock at his actions, it soon became clear that he was trying distract the guards. To obstruct their vision and buy enough precious time for the rest of you to escape.

From his place in the driver's seat, Chan caught on to Felix's plan just as soon as you did. His eyes widened with realization before he forced the key into the ignition. You tried to stand despite Changbin and Jisung pulling you back down. Raising your voice, you yelled out to Chan as he started the engine, fighting against the boys.

“What are you doing?! We can’t just leave them!”

Your heart pounded in your chest as time surrounding the rover stood still. Every single one of the boys around you held their breath as Chan hesitated, hands trembling slightly against the steering wheel, conflicting emotions evident on his face as he looked back to Felix and Hyunjin. The weight of the decision bore down on him, the responsibility of every single one of your lives in his hands, and for a moment it almost seemed as if he wasn’t going to be able to make the choice. Until Felix looked back, his deep voice booming throughout the chaos.

“Go! Get out of here!”

Chan’s voice cracked as he yelled out in response, “You know where we are! Meet us-“

“-I know! GO!” Felix shouted back, voice laced with urgency. “We’re right behind you!” and then he ducked to avoid an incoming bullet as Hyunjin swiftly fired back in the direction that it had come from. Minho stood and joined him in sending a few bullets toward your fathers men before he bent back down, hands reaching for the steering wheel as he jerked it to the side, yelling out to Chan that you needed to go now.

When the vehicle began to move, your heart was on the brink of exploding within your chest, as the weight of the world on your shoulders threatened to engulf you completely.

“Felix!” You called out, strained voice breaking in desperation as the fear of losing him tore at your soul once again. His head whipped around at the sound of your voice. With a final look in your direction, his eyes conveyed unspoken reassurance, a silent plea to trust him, and a promise that you couldn’t fully understand in that moment.

A promise that he would find his way back to you.

And then he tore his eyes from yours as Hyunjin shouted at him to “move!”, directing him to use the bike to create another diversion for your escape.

With only a moment to spare, Chan spinned around in his seat and placed a firm hand on your shoulder.

"Look at me, y/n look at me,” you turned to face him, eyes glossy with tears, “Felix knows what he's doing, he's fast with the bike and Hyunjin is a near perfect shot,” his panicked words were meant come across as reassuring but the expression on his face sure as hell wasn't.

Either way, Chan was a leader, and he did what leaders were supposed to do. He made the impossible, life-altering, split-second decisions. And so with a stern glance to Changbin who tightened his grip on you, he turned back around and stepped forcefully on the gas pedal.

And it's probably a good thing you weren't in his position, because you never would have been able to leave the freckled boy with the stars in his eyes behind. Not when it meant leaving a part of yourself, behind too.

You couldn’t breathe.

You really couldn’t breathe.

As the rover surged ahead, racing into the setting sun, your focus remained fixed on the valley as it disappeared behind you. Panic coursed through your veins, constricting your chest and clouding your senses. After you had gotten far enough away, Changbin released you and you leaned forward immediately, raising your voice to reach Chan's ears.

“How could you leave them behind!? We have to go back-we have to-“ As the words tumbled out from your lips in a frantic rush, you looked around to the rest of the boys behind you. They remained still, even Jisung avoided your eyes now.

“What are you doing?! We have to-” you turned back to Chan but before you could form any kind of a coherent sentence, he jerked the vehicle harshly to the side, causing you to grab onto the frame above until it came to a skidding halt. As the dust settled around you, Chan whirled around to face you. His resolute expression did little to conceal how shaken he was by having to leave the boys behind.

“Do you think that was easy for me?! Do you think that was easy for any of us?!”

His words carried through the air, and a pang of guilt struck you when you saw the burden of the responsibility that he carried reflected in his eyes.

“If one of them had recognized you…“

Your stomach twisted as the guilt intensified, because deep down you knew he never would have left Felix and Hyunjin behind if it weren’t for you. But he didn’t have a choice. If any one of your father’s men had recognized you it would have meant disaster in the form of certain death for every single one of them.

The weight of the boys’ emotions pressed down on you. Not a single sound escaped their lips as they watched your interaction with Chan. Not even Minho took the opportunity to further solidify the fact that this was all your fault.

“Where we’re going, we’ll be safe for the night. It’s close, and Felix has been there before so he knows where to go,” Chan cleared his throat before adding “they’re right behind us.”

And then he glanced to the skyline over your shoulder but you didn’t need to do the same to know what you’d find there.

They weren’t right behind you.

“Where...." your voice trembled as it took everything in you to fight back tears.

“Someone Felix and I have known for a very long time. An…acquaintance,” his own voice faltered on the word “acquaintance” before continuing. “I was trying to avoid it, but we don’t have a choice. We can’t stay out in the open tonight.”

Trying to avoid it.

Likely meaning that it was one of the areas he’d crossed out earlier when you were planning the route. A place he had originally hoped to steer clear of, but the circumstances had evidently forced his hand.

“We will find a way back to them, I promise.” This time, Chan wasn’t just speaking to you. He was also addressing the boys who were equally as shaken, but his words weren’t enough to ease the doubt in your mind.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Chan.

You sat back without another word, turning your focus up ahead where something caught your attention.

Two figures.

Shadowed by the setting sun, riding atop two powerful animals that as far as you knew, had been extinct for hundreds of years. Animals you couldn’t remember the name of because you never really paid much attention to your private tutoring lessons, not that it mattered. The sight of them was enough to render you speechless.

Chan spun back around and you studied his face in the mirror as recognition fell across it.

“It’s her….” he mumbled under his breath, looking to Minho seated beside him.

Her.

As the figures drew nearer, you realized that the one leading the way was a woman.

Chan addressed the group quickly, conveying that he and he alone would handle the conversation. He locked eyes with you, pausing for a moment before reaching out to pull the hood back over your head. When Jisung and Changbin settled in closer to you, you looked up to Jisung, finding brief solace in his eyes before putting your head down.

Unable to resist the curiosity when the strangers reached the side of the vehicle, you shifted to catch a glimpse of the woman from underneath your hood. She possessed an air of maturity, with long dark hair that cascaded down her shoulders and sides, streaked heavily with grey. One half of her face exhibited what appeared to be burn scars, extending all the way down her arm. Her presence exuded a quiet strength that demanded respect, and her beauty was evident even despite the scars. The male to her side was younger than you had initially thought. Several decades younger than her, he seemed to be around the same age as you and the boys. Reddish hair fell down to frame the enticing features of his face, and you were beginning to wonder if it was this common for everyone outside of District 9 to possess such ethereal beauty. He sported similar attire as the woman. Fairly well put together, their clothing was obviously worn but not nearly as much as you’d expect for someone who resided in District 6.

As they brought the animals to a stop, the woman appeared to recognize Chan immediately. Alone, he stepped down to greet her as she remained atop the animal, tightly gripping its long mane.

“Chris," her voice carried a velvety, alluring tone, "its been quite a while, hasn’t it?”

A silent exchange passed between the two, characterized by familiarity and a touch of tension. The strange name she used to address him with left you even more curious about the actual depth of their relationship.

The woman turned to the rover, scanning the faces inside. When her eyes fell to you, they widened ever so slightly. An eyebrow arched in intrigue as her lips parted, and you quickly leaned into Jisung once again.

“It has, Hira.” Chan acknowledged her before turning his attention to the male at her side, addressing him as “Yeonjun.” The two shared a quick greeting before Chan, or Chris, began to explain the nature of the group's situation, carefully selecting which details to share and what to withhold. He told the woman, Hira, that you were in desperate need of a place to stay for the night. When she asked where the group was headed, he replied with “District seven, in search of a permanent place to settle”. When she asked how you had obtained the vehicle, he offered an explanation that was even more vague. Stating that the group had just “come across it, abandoned, fully stocked with supplies.”

How ridiculous.

Even you would have been able to come up with something better than that..and you were worried there was no way in hell she could be gullible enough to believe the lies that spilled from his mouth.

Chan concluded his explanation by revealing the separation from Felix and Hyunjin, at which point you couldn’t help but steal another glance at Hira. She appeared to understand the gravity of your situation without him ever needing to mention your fathers guards or why the group had been forced to split up in the first place.

As she processed his words, her eyes gravitated to you once again. A shiver descended your spine as they bore into you, as if she was trying to catch a glimpse of your soul. Unsure of exactly how much she knew or what she could unravel with a single glance, it filled you with unease. When she looked back to Chan, a haunting smile fell across her scarred face.

“You know that you and your people are always more than welcome to stay with me and mine, Chris. Take as long as you need. I trust that you remember the…conditions to my hospitality. That-"

"-there is always a cost." The two spoke in unison, the woman and Chan.

"Ah yes," she smiled again, pleased with his response. "The weapons you provided Yeonjun with last time were in pristine condition, they have already sold for a generous sum." A flash of greed danced across her eyes as they fell to the gun in Minho's hands. "It seems as though you've come prepared this time. How long will you be staying?"

“Just the night,” he paused before adding, "we will be able to compensate you fairly.” And then he reached out and motioned for Minho to toss him the gun. After Minho obliged, Chan handed it over to the woman. She examined it closely, eyes gleaming with satisfaction as she turned the weapon over in her hands. "And i trust you have more where this came from?" She looked to him and he nodded.

"Three more. Four in total," she proposed.

"Two more. Three in total," Chan responded, a hint of reservation in his tone.

She contemplated his offer, narrowing her stare when they locked eyes.

"Deal, but only because of the impeccable condition, such remarkable craftsmanship..." She ran her hands across the cool metal once more before adding "You can follow me back to Clé, it’s not far from here as I'm sure you know.”

She then turned to address the male beside her. “Yeonjun will ride ahead to collect your friends."

The mention of Felix reignited the ache within your chest. The sudden appearance of the mysterious strangers had provided a fleeting distraction, but with each passing moment in their presence your longing for him began to resurface at full force.

The woman’s lingering eyes stole one last glance at you before tugging on the animal’s mane. The sound of hooves filled the air when she turned and began to lead the way. Yeonjun followed her command, guiding his own animal behind you in the opposite direction, and you watched until he disappeared into the shadows cast by the setting sun.

As the rover began to move, Minho leaned in to Chan and the two engaged in hushed conversation. You listened intently, trying to pick out any words you could but it was no use. Sinking back into the seat between Changbin and Jisung, you closed your eyes and pictured the freckled boy in your mind, desperately clinging on to whatever fading shred of hope you had left that you would ever see him again.

The sunset painted the cloudy sky with fiery tones.

And Hira was right, it didn’t take long, fifteen minutes maybe, before you spotted the silhouette of a small structure in the distance. It stood alone against the backdrop of scorching orange and red hues, appearing as though it had become one with the unforgiving terrain over time. A forgotten outcast, sheltered among dying trees with branches like skeletal fingers reaching up to touch the sky.

Following her lead, Chan brought the vehicle around to the backside of the house where Hira tied the animal to a nearby post. When you hopped down, the loose dirt beneath your feet emitted a satisfying crunch. Looking up, a jolt of surprise coursed through you as you were met with Hira's dark eyes. Taken aback by her close proximity and fascinated stare, you stumbled into Jeongin, who had just landed on the ground behind you. You reached behind, grabbing onto him for stability as she lifted an arm and carefully removed your hood, taking a piece of your hair into her hand.

She studied it between her fingers as if she were utterly perplexed before muttering underneath her breath "beautiful."

Chan cleared his throat, and you looked up to see all eyes on you. As if nothing had happened at all, the woman released your hair, seamlessly joining Chan in leading the group to the front of the building. It might have been the first time you had officially interacted with Jeongin, but you only tightened your hold on his sleeve as you moved. Thankfully he didn't seem to mind as he stuck by your side while the rest of the boys formed a protective barrier around the two of you. During the brief introductions that took place as you approached the building, you avoided the woman's gaze when you told her that your name was Jisoo.

The two-story structure before you stood as a testament to the relentless passage of time. Its frame, originally crafted from wood, bore the marks of age through faded green paint, chipping away like scars left behind by countless years. Open windows had been sealed off from the inside by sturdy wooden boards, creating an air of secrecy. The door, no longer a solid barrier, was covered by a long tattered curtain that matched the colors of the setting sun behind you. It swayed gently in the breeze.

In front of you, Hira brushed back the curtain to reveal a candlelit interior. The ceiling was low, creating a sense of confinement. In a way, it reminded you of the tavern in District 7, although the atmosphere inside was stagnant and held an air of something far less innocent.

It became evident shortly after stepping inside that this was a gathering spot for people who had found themselves on the fringes of society, seeking something more than just refuge. Because as Hira walked you through the lower level, hushed whispers and soft murmurs floated through the air, accompanied by occasional gasps of pleasure. You caught glimpses of intimate encounters through cracked doors, meeting the eyes of individuals in various states of undress whose beauty was contrasted by the sadness in their eyes.

After passing through a small area that appeared to serve as a kitchen for Hira and her guests, with a wooden table and a few mismatched chairs, you found yourselves back at the main room. Just inside the entrance.

Under the premise of supposed safety, your longing for Felix turned insufferable. Because you didn't really care if any of you were safe until you knew that he was too.

As if Chan had been plagued by the same thought, his voice split the silence.

"Its dark now..it might be safe enough for me to…maybe I should go out and look for the others..." His words were directed to Hira, although you couldn't be sure whether he was asking for permission or informing her of his intention. Either way, his growing concern was evident.

With firm resolve, the woman responded with a simple "No, that won't be necessary." And as if he had been expecting her response, Changbin stepped forward immediately, ready to argue, but he paused when she raised a hand and addressed Chan once more.

"Something tells me you know that it is wiser for you to remain here. Yeonjun has never failed me in a request, and I trust that he will return with your friends." Changbin stepped back and Chan fell silent. His usual authority seemed to vanish in her presence, leaving you even more curious about the dynamics between the two. About the experiences they'd shared while you were eating seasoned meals and taking hot baths to cleanse skin that was already clean.

Time had never moved so painfully, agonizingly, slow. Your profound understanding of the very real danger Felix and Hyunjin were in ate away at you with every passing second. Unable to sit still even after the others had settled down on the floor or the worn out furniture, you paced the room until Jisung silently called you over, patting the ground beside him against one of the walls. Your leg continued to shake uncontrollably even after you sat down, and it wasn’t until Seungmin came over to join you on your other side that you were able to stop. For the same reason you had chosen to sit by him the first night around the fire, something about Seungmin's presence made you worry just a little less.

As everyone anxiously awaited the return of the boys, even Hira had her eyes trained on the door whenever she wasn’t looking your way. Her not-so-subtle fascination with you only added to your overall unease, mostly because you just couldn't shake the feeling that her interest in the groups wellbeing went far beyond an innocent desire to help. Even if her and “Chris” happened to be old friends. Or acquaintances, or whatever the hell he’d called her. But you didn't really care about trying to decipher any of that right now. Not when all you could think about was the freckled boy who you'd let slip through your fingertips earlier.

Who you had failed to protect.

After a seemingly endless stretch of time, the curtain covering the door shifted ever so slightly and the room stood in unison, yourself included.

It was pulled back by Yeonjun now standing at the entrance. You took a step forward, gaze darting past him immediately. Desperately searching for any glimpse of dark hair behind him, your eyes were met with gold instead.

Hyunjin.

You released a steady exhale. Aside from a few smudges of dirt on his otherwise flawless features, he appeared to be relatively unscathed. Your nervousness eased at the sight of his familiar face, but it wasn’t until Felix stepped through the threshold behind him that you felt like you could breathe again.

For the first time since you had been forced to leave him behind, you could breathe.

You leaned forward as your eyes scanned every inch of his figure. He appeared slightly more disheveled than Hyunjin, with tousled hair and a small cut to his cheek, but he was alive, breathing, unharmed. The sight of him standing before made you ache to wrap him in your arms, but you remained rooted where you stood. As if your feet were shackled to the ground by invisible chains that warned of the danger that came with exposing the extent of your feelings to everyone in the room. So you masked your relief with a faint smile that lasted only a fraction of a second.

But you were certain Felix had seen it.

A low sigh escaped his lips, barely audible despite the silence in the room. Unbeknownst to you, it was a breath he had been holding since the very moment you had been torn apart. Nobody else seemed to notice the way you looked only to each other, or maybe they did, but you didn't really care.

Chan approached the boys first. He put an arm around both of their shoulders and whispered something to them before turning around to thank Yeonjun for their safe return. Hira nodded in acknowledgement when Chan introduced her to Hyunjin, but there didn't appear to be a need for introductions between her and Felix. The familiarity between Felix and Yeonjun was also apparent, although whatever it was between them came off as more of an uncomfortable, awkward tension than anything else.

Before the rest of the boys had a chance to approach Felix and Hyunjin, Hira commanded the room's attention. She guided the group back into the kitchen, over to a receded staircase in the corner that you hadn't noticed the first time. Yeonjun swiftly found his way to her side and you eyed them cautiously as they engaged in hushed conversation at the front of the group.

Wooden steps creaked underneath your feet as you climbed the stairs, worn with time and countless journeys up and down. At the top was a long hallway lined by closed doors, peeling wallpaper, and flickering candles. You made note of what appeared to be a supply closet just off the landing. The door was slightly ajar and you observed a small pile of blankets and crates stacked inside. Nearly empty, aside from a very meager handful of supplies.

Hira pointed out two rooms at the end of the corridor where you and the boys were to sleep for the night. Chan and Minho shared a glance, acknowledging that they didn't have much choice but to accept.

And Felix never left your side.

Or maybe you never left his. Either way, whether by conscious choice or something less deliberate, you mirrored each others steps the entire way up the stairs and back down again. The subtle brush of his arm against yours spoke volumes, but you were desperate for more. To to hear him tell you that he was okay. To feel the warmth of his skin against yours.

Bodies weary, the group followed Hira back down the steps into the kitchen where the small table now held an assortment of miscellaneous scraps of food. You were each offered a bowl, and you gladly accepted. Without enough chairs for everyone around the table, Jisung, Changbin, and Seungmin made themselves comfortable on the floor with their backs leaned against the wall, bowls in hand. Just as you were preparing to join them, with Felix right on your heels, Hira's voice cut through the air, interrupting your action.

"No, dear, sit here by my side. I insist." You glanced up to where she sat at the head of the table. Her words were accompanied by a very poor attempt at a welcoming smile that only caused you to recoil backward into Felix.

You looked to Chan for direction and when he nodded you hesitantly obliged, walking over to take the seat to her right, directly across from Chan who sat at her other side.

Without waiting for his own invitation, Felix slid down into the empty seat beside you. Jeongin ended up across from Felix, with Yeonjun positioning himself the other end of the table across from Hira. Minho opted to lean against the doorway to the kitchen, while Hyunjin claimed the spot on the floor that you had originally planned on taking next to Seungmin.

As dinner progressed, Hira spoke solely to Chan. She brought up stories of their past encounters and the atmosphere tensed further whenever he let out an occasional bout of strained laughter. The rest of the group remained quiet as they feigned interest in the scraps of food that had been placed in front of them, and you did the same. Gritting your teeth as you stared at the bowl because the faster you got through this night, the faster you would be able to get the hell out of here.

The faster you would be able to find a moment alone with Felix. Which was the only thing that mattered to you now.

Throughout the meal, Hira's eyes continuously fell to you, just as they had from the moment she'd first caught sight of you earlier. And despite the fact that she was supposedly listening to Chan, she didn't seem to have any interest in him or their conversation whatsoever.

It became increasingly evident that you weren’t the only one aware of her strange behavior. Beside you, Felix’s grip on the roll of bread in his hand tightened with every second that her eyes remained fixed on you. As if a protective instinct was taking hold of him in response to her unwavering interest.

Just as Chan began to cautiously navigate his way through a story about a time several years ago when he'd crossed paths with Hira in District 4, she curtly interrupted him, turning to face you directly.

"You know dear, there is room for you here," she purred, reaching out to place a palm over your clenched fist where it rest on the table.

Her cold touch sent an icy shockwave up your arm.

Chan stopped talking mid sentence, Jisung nearly choked on his food behind you, and your entire body froze. Your eyes widened as you lifted your gaze from the bowl in front of you, looking to Chan for help. But his expression only mirrored your own shock as his mouth fell slightly agape while you stared at each other in disbelief.

Before either you or Chan could find the words, Felix's voice sliced through the tension in the air like a blade. Resonating dangerously low, it nearly shook the room beside you.

"She. Stays. With. Us." he growled through clenched teeth, putting sharp emphasis on each individual word. The roll of bread in his hand crumpled beyond repair as he used every muscle in his body to keep his restraint.

Hana's gaze flickered from you to Felix, engaging in a silent standoff, until her eyes began to shift back and forth between the two of you. A sly grin fell across her face as she pieced together the fact that there was something more between you and Felix. Something that went far beyond what you had with the rest of the boys. Far beyond camaraderie or the mutual need to depend on each other for survival. She looked back to you with envy in her eyes, a lingering possessiveness, and after a few more moments of uncomfortable silence she did something not a single one of you could have expected.

She began to laugh.

A chilling sound that started out quiet before building loud enough to echo throughout the entire room. Felix's stare spoke volumes as his eyes remained trained on the woman at your side, piercing and unyielding, making it more than clear that he didn't find anything funny about the situation at all. Your heart pounded in your ears, your breath caught in your throat, and every single hair on the back of your neck stood on end before her laughter ended just as abruptly as it had begun. Her facial expression shifting once again to that of an eery stoicism.

“You all must be exhausted after such a long day. Rest well tonight and replenish your strength,” she addressed the group as a whole before turning back to Felix. Her final words were directed solely at him. “A tired mind is dangerous companion.”

Without another word she rose gracefully from her seat, the scraping of her chair against the floor only adding to the unsettling feeling in the air. She swiftly exited the room with Yeonjun following closely behind.

Every single one of the boys remained motionless. With their eyes glued to Chan, they waited for him to offer any form of direction but he appeared to be just as taken aback as the rest of you by her actions. By her offer to you.

When he finally regained the ability to speak, it was barely above a whisper. “She's right...lets just take the opportunity to rest for a few hours. We'll be safe here for the night.”

Why does he keep saying that.

We aren't safe anywhere.

Chan stood, and just as Yeonjun had hurried after Hana, the boys mirrored his actions. They got up and approached the staircase at the other end of the kitchen. At your side, Felix was the only one who had yet to move a muscle.

Chan’s knowing eyes said it all as he looked back at the two of you one last time before leaving you to yourselves, ascending the staircase behind the rest of the group. Probably a mistake, on his part, to leave you alone. Not that he could have known the depth of your emotions or the fleeting nature of your self control.

Felix sat rigid as he fixated on the wall in front of him.

Something brought you back to this morning, when you’d refused to join him on the bike in an attempt to push down your growing feelings. Stupid, stupid feelings that threatened to ruin everything whenever you found yourself alone with him.

You remembered the promise you had made to him on the rooftop.

Don't let me love you.

Slowly, you got up from your chair.

Felix did the same.

Just walk away, y/n. Turn around. Go upstairs. Go to sleep.

Walk. Away.

Standing beside you now, facing you, inches from you, he looked you up and down. He reached for your wrist and ran his thumb over a small cut on your forearm that you hadn't even realized was there.

Without a word, he set your arm back down at your side and took a step past you in the direction of the staircase.

Don’t look back. Just let him go.

Let. Him. Go.

Fuck-

“-Wait” You muttered, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him with you across the kitchen to the foot of the staircase, partially hidden in between the recessed walls. His eyes darted upward as the boys retreated into their designated rooms. And you stayed like that, pressed up against him in the small space until the doors closed behind them.

As soon as they clicked shut, you blurted out the first thing that came to your mind.

“Are you fucking insane?! What the hell were you thinking earlier? Staying behind like that.” Struggling to keep your voice down, the words came out a bit more accusatory than you had originally intended. But now that he was in front of you, now that you knew he was safe, you couldn’t help but express a little frustration.

“I was just...doing what needed to be done.” He answered, voice husky and low, eyes dark and inviting. Your brow furrowed as you searched for the right response. Literally anything to convey how much his continued disregard for his own life drove you absolutely mad. But no words seemed adequate enough.

Maybe you would have come up with something eventually, if the growing closeness between you wasn't making it impossible to concentrate on anything other than how badly you wanted him to rail you senseless.

For fucks sake. Get it together.

After a moment, a subtle curl formed at the corner of his upper lip.

"What, were you worried about me princess?" He mused, poking his tongue into his cheek.

"I'm serious!" You shot back in a rather poor attempt to conceal the fact that his accusation and such a simple, simple action could have you so impossibly weak at the knees.

"You heard Chan. We were supposed to stay together. All of us, which includes you. Because we need you."

Because I need you, idiot.

The smugness fell from his face as his expression began to soften.

“And yeah, maybe I am tired of watching you try to get yourself killed but that doesn't mea-" before you could finish reprimanding him, Felix leaned down and captured your lips between his.

You pulled back, eyes wide.

"What are you-" but your words were cut off again when you went to take a step back and nearly tripped on the staircase behind you, instinctively reaching for his arms to steady yourself.

Amusement spread across his face, as if he was proud of himself for making you fall apart like his. His reaction made your cheeks flush hot with embarrassment but before you could utter another word he moved in again. Your hands betrayed you as they pulled him closer, but instead of kissing you again like you’d expected Felix ducked his head to your neck where he began to pepper the sensitive skin with a number of light kisses. You glanced upstairs where the boys had retreated for the night, then back down across the kitchen where Hana and Yeonjun had disappeared only moments before.

“What if someone-” You pulled back for a second time.

"Let them,” he mumbled against your skin. "Its not like they don't already suspect it,” he added while running his tongue along the fading mark on your neck that you’d forgotten was there.

“And you’re alright with that?” You nearly moaned out the final word when he began to suck lightly at the tender spot on your neck, barely having time to finish your sentence before he forcefully reconnected your lips.

Felix was more than alright with that.

But of course, its not like he had meant for this to happen. He really did have every intention of following the others upstairs. He really did. Its just that he’d narrowly missed about 17 bullets today, half of them aimed at his head, which had him fairly convinced that he might actually never get to see you again. So the sight of you in his arms now, lust and concern etched beautifully across your face as you looked to him as if he was your entire world, had him overcome with the need to be inside of you.

And you really hadn't meant to end up like this either, shamelessly pulling him in by the collar as he cradled your face in his hands. Succumbing to the magnetic pull that urged you to follow him as he took a step backward up the stairs. There were so many things you wanted to say to him about his past, to ask him why he had taken the blame for killing the intruder, and you still weren't done scolding him for his decision to stay behind earlier. But none of it mattered in that moment. Because he was safe, he’d managed to find his way back to you, and you wanted nothing more than to show him just how thankful you were for that.

"m' glad you're okay" the words slipped from your lips on accident between kisses as you followed him up the stairs. You swallowed quickly before adding “I-I mean because, you know....they were worried about you..the others.”

“Oh really?” he swiped his tongue along your bottom lip, and you hummed in agreement before granting him access.

You wrapped your arms around his neck from where you now stood on the step above him. When he looked up into your eyes, a conflicted expression washed over his features before he lifted his head to kiss you again.

"Lix," you mumbled against his lips when you took the last step at the top of the staircase.

"Yeah, princess?" He breathed out, meeting you on the landing where his hands slid down to rest at the back of your thighs, just below your ass, pulling you closer. You spoke against his lips when he moved in to reconnect them to yours.

“This doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you."

"Mhmm" he tightened his grip on your thighs.

"It doesn't mean I hate you any less," you continued, nipping at his bottom lip and pulling it back in your teeth. "Because I do, you know?”

And his eyes were dark when you opened yours to look back at him, pupils blown wide.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart."

That was new.

And then, with a firm squeeze at your thighs, Felix effortlessly lifted you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as your arms circled his neck. His hands cupped your ass and you kissed him like that for some time. Shamelessly giving in to the uncontrollable desire that had brought you together in the first place, in a dim candlelit hallway, surrounded on either side by rooms full of sleeping travelers and the rest of the boys. And none of it mattered. You would have kissed him until your lips bled, running your hands through his hair, your tongues battling for dominance.

But Felix made it very clear that he wanted more.

He moved until your back hit the wall behind you and you gripped him tighter to keep yourself upright. When he pressed his hips further into you another weak moan fell from your lips. He shifted and you looked down, realizing that that the wall to your back was actually a door.

The supply closet.

Felix maneuvered your bodies so that he could push the door open with his back.

As he carried you into the cramped space, you placed a very gentle kiss to the scratch on his cheek. Inside, shut off from the rest of the world, you were free to lose yourselves in each other completely. Candlelight from the hallway spilled in through the wide gap beneath the door, enough to cast a faint glow inside the room. And the door barely had time to shut before both of you were halfway undressed.

Felix picked up a blanket from the ground and threw it across the stack of crates that took up the majority of the small space. He set you down gently on top of them, bending over to keep your lips connected while he shoved his pants down, and you did the same. Frantically pushing your own pants and underwear down before tossing your shirt to the side, and it didn’t even have time to hit the ground before he was pressed up against you again, reaching around to unclasp your bra. Just as you had struggled with the buckle on his belt, he fumbled with it briefly and you smiled against his lips. But he was determined and it took only a moment before he stripped it from your body and the stuffy air hit your skin. When you shifted on the crates, your exposed breasts bounced slightly, immediately drawing his attention. He licked his lips as he devoured them with hungry eyes.

“Like what you see?” You mocked, reaching down to bring his hands up to your chest. He squeezed the soft flesh and you gasped when his fingertips pinched lightly at your nipples.

And it was in that moment that Felix decided he would never be able to get enough of you, so willing to expose yourself to him like this. So desperate for his touch on your bare skin, for his cock buried inside of you. You didn’t even need to say it out loud because your eyes were begging.

One of his hands trailed down between your legs and he slid a finger through the wetness of your slit.

“Fuck, princess...so wet already,” he murmured against your jaw, and you let out a stifled moan into his neck when he pulled you closer and pressed his thumb to your puffy clit. He rubbed slow circles before inserting a finger inside of you, followed shortly after by a second. The skillful movement of his fingers made you melt into his touch as you rolled your hips to meet his hand. As your head went dizzy and your vision blurred.

Between his fingers pumping in and out of you at just the right speed, his thumb adding pressure to your clit, the squeezing of your breast in his other hand, and the sloppy wet kisses he continued to press to your neck and jaw, your body was already threatening to spill over the edge. To prolong the pleasure, not ready to let go just yet, you shifted. He licked your juices from his fingers when you brought his hand up to his mouth. "You taste so sweet princess," he muttered, accent heavy in his current state as you reached down to release his cock from his underwear. It sprang free and you pushed him back gently, dropping from the crates, your knees hitting the ground. He looked down at you as your hand wrapped around his pulsing cock. You swirled a bit of precum around the tip before licking a stripe up his shaft and taking him into your mouth.

As you hollowed your cheeks around him and began to bob your head, running your tongue along a thick vein on the underside of his cock, Felix leaned back against the door. His head turned to the ceiling as his eyes lazily fell shut, and he wondered how much you'd had to practice to get it this right. But he didn't want to think about that now. He only wanted to think about you on your knees for him. A whimper escaped his lips when you swirled your tongue around his leaking head, across his slit. The unexpected sound from him and the salty taste on your tongue had you rubbing your thighs forcefully together.

Felix let his mind go empty with nothing but pleasure as he fucked your face. He glanced down with hooded eyes to meet your own, and the sight of your pretty angelic mouth stuffed with his cock as you made eye contact with him nearly caused him to blow his load right then and there. But Felix didn’t want to waste a second of you like this. Because he'd almost died today. He'd almost died nearly every day for a very long time, and he didn't know if he would ever get the chance after tonight to have you like this again. And so, when you suddenly released his cock with a pop, he leaned down and pulled you back up by the arms.

His touch was gentle.

His tone wasn’t.

“I’m going to fuck you now, and you’re not going to make a sound. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?” He spoke down to you, as if he already knew that you wouldn’t be able to oblige.

“Y-yes” you somehow managed to get out. And he wasted no time in lifting you back onto the crates, his strength evident as his muscles flexed.

You steadied yourself before spreading your legs for him as wide as the cramped space would allow. You ran your eyes up and down his naked form, his defined abs, his toned chest, and his right hand as he brought it down to pump his cock a few times before aligning it with your dripping core.

“Please…” you panted under your breath as he smeared your arousal with his tip. And your desperate plea was all he needed to give in, sinking into your aching entrance and bottoming out inside of you with a carnal mroan. You gasped, reaching forward to pull him closer. He wrapped an arm around your back, slamming the other against the wall behind you. His head fell to your neck and your legs wrapped around him as he began to rhythmically move his hips.

Filthy sounds filled the space as he rutted into you, and in that moment it was easy to let yourself go completely. To let him take you however he pleased, in whatever way he pleased. Because you were safe with Felix, here, like this, when it was just the two of you. He made you feel like just a person. Without a past to run from, without a burden to shoulder. Just two careless young lovers who in another life might have stumbled across this very place seeking refuge. Who might have called it home for a while before leaving again together.

And this time was different from the first time on the rooftop as his hips slapped fervently against yours, hot skin against skin. Because of your earlier separation, tonight was more desperate, more needy, more primal.

“Feels so good, Lix” you whined when he brought his hands down to tightly grip your waist, allowing him to fuck up into your swollen heat even harder. When your head fell back, he took it as an invitation to bring a hand up around your exposed throat, shoving his fingers into your mouth when you let out a strangled moan.

"F-Fuck, princess-" he hissed, “you have to be quiet, be a good girl for me, yeah?” He squeezed harder at your throat when you cried out again but was instantly made into a hypocrite when you clenched around him and he let out a groan deep enough to vibrate the walls.

His thrusts grew sloppy which told you he was just as close as you had been since the moment he'd laid a hand on you, and yet he still managed to hit the right angle every single time. Between his thick cock brutally pounding up into your drooling hole, low grunts against your ear, the sound of the crates thudding against the wall behind you and the risk of being caught at any moment, it all had you reaching your own climax faster than you could control.

"So pretty all fucked out like this,” he growled, ”the world in the palm of your hand and here you are reduced to nothing by my cock. I should fuck you full, make the world mine too."

"Fuck, F-Felix, don't stop I'm close-"

“I know, baby," he groaned, "me too.” And you could feel the truth in his words because of how fucking hard he was, but before he could pull out you wrapped your legs around him tighter.

"Need your cum, please, fill me up. Please Lix make me yours."

"Shit-"

Your plea sent him over the edge. His cock throbbed where it was buried deeply inside of you as he pumped milky white ropes of cum into your cunt. A deep groan that was far louder than any of the moans he had scolded you for fell from his lips, and as your own orgasm took over you buried your face in the sweaty skin at his neck. Holding onto him to ground yourself when your vision went white as you sobbed out his name repeatedly.

Heavy breathing and light whimpers from both of you were the only sounds that filled the air after the harsh string of low curses that fell from his lips.

After a moment, when you began to come down from your high and Felix stopped twitching inside of you, you unwrapped your shaking legs from his waist and dropped down from the crates. He helped to steady you on your feet, and the gravity of what you had just done set in as you felt his hot cum begin to trickle down the inside of your thigh.

Fuck

Fuck fuck fuck-

Felix reclaimed your attention when he leaned in to place a breathless kiss to your lips. You jumped when the cool metal of the rings on his fingers made contact with the sensitive skin at the inside of your thighs when he put a finger between them to swipe some of his cum away. He brought it up, smearing his release against your bottom lip before you took it into your mouth and licked it clean.

"That can never happen again,” he murmured, his eyes intently focused on where his finger had disappeared into your mouth.

He might have been referring to the sex, but you were fairly certain it had more to do with the fact that by spilling every last drop of his cum inside of you he had just put both of your lives in substantially more danger. Because if Felix got you pregnant, the repercussions would be catastrophic.

"This, us is…it can’t..” He trailed off.

“I know.” You glanced up to take in his disheveled appearance. His long hair a mess, sweat on his forehead, lips puffy and swollen.

“Never again,” you whispered, and it was at that moment that Felix realized he was never going to be able to get over you. That he would belong to you until he took his last dying breath.

And it wasn’t until you met his eyes that he understood just how selfish that made him.

How badly he had screwed up.

Because Felix had made the fatal mistake of allowing you to develop the same feelings for him, and he wanted to protect you from the sadness in your eyes when you looked up to him with silent understanding that you would never be able to be together. Not in the way you wanted to be, not without consequences. Felix wanted to shield you from everything in this world that could hurt you, including himself. Especially himself. He wanted to protect you from his own selfish desires more than anything, but the situation between the two of you had begun to spiral far beyond his control.

And the damage was already done.

Felix led you by the hand to the end of the hallway where he lightly pressed on the door to one of the rooms that Hira had pointed out to you earlier. When you stepped inside, the floorboards creaked loudly underneath your feet. You could make out shapes through the darkness but it was difficult to tell which of the boys were in the room you had just entered.

You followed Felix, taking extra care to step over the sleeping form at your feet, as he led you to an unoccupied space in the corner. He shook off his leather jacket and pulled you down with him. Folding the jacket, he set it on the ground next to you and you immediately undid his actions, unfolding it enough so that there was room for his own head to be cushioned by the worn out fabric as well. You lie down facing each other, trailing your eyes up and down the features of his face, bringing a hand up to his hair, tracing along the sharp line of his jaw, while he looked at you with painful longing that you would never have been able to put into words. Only a feeling, in a stolen moment that you had so selfishly claimed for yourselves. But you understood everything that it meant.

"y/n?" His voice cascaded through the silence and the use of your name, his use of your name, tugged painfully at your chest.

“Yeah, Lix?” You responded, tracing your fingers along a patch of freckles underneath one of his eyes.

“I’m glad you’re okay too.” He spoke so faintly underneath his breath that you weren’t even sure you had heard him right until you met his gaze. The look he gave you absolutely shattered your heart, and you forced yourself to hold back the words that you wanted so desperately to say to him in response. You watched in silence as his heavy eyes closed while you combed through his hair, kissing him gently once more when his breathing steadied and you were certain that he had fallen asleep.

Don't let me love you.

It was quite a simple request, really. Or at least it should have been. You should have been able to do it, and yet you could literally feel your promise rip to pieces with every kiss, every touch, every breath you took in every moment you spent next to him like this. Moments that you burned into your memory because you were afraid they would be your last.

I'm sorry, princess.

"I'm sorry too, Lix." You whispered.

Sorry you couldn't keep your promise. Sorry you hadn't tried harder.

Sorry there was nothing you could do to stop the time from slipping away. Sorry you couldn't make it stop.

You fell asleep shortly after he reached for you, subconsciously pulling you into his chest. You breathed in his scent and it eased every aching muscle in your body. In that moment you were his, and he was yours, and that was enough. Even if you would never be able to belong to each other for more than a single night at a time. Just for tonight, it was enough. Because eventually, one way or another, you knew that your past would catch up to you. You’d begun this journey knowing from the start that the future had never really been yours to claim. Knowing that that your time with Felix was just as limited as your freedom. Because as someone had told you once, the problem with time is that it is a merciless force. No matter who you are, no matter where you come from, one way or another it always runs out.

Part 6

thank you so much for reading<33 if you would like to be added to the taglist please don't hesitate to let me know :)

taglist: @vixensss @yangracha @toplinelix @lixiesw1fe @slytherinatheart @hash2013

#lee felix x reader #felix x reader #lee felix au #stray kids au #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids angst #skz angst #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #skz fanfic #skz fan fiction #lee felix #felix smut #lee felix smut #stray kids smut #skz smut

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hahawasabi · 4 months ago

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♤ MASTERPOST ♤

I'm just organizing my blog so people won't get confused on how my blog works. This will get updated frequently.

DISCLAMER: This blog is 13-15+ due to mature language and occasional suggestive content (ALL SUGGESTIVE CONTENT WILL BE MARKED). If you are uncomfy with that, please leave, this blog isn't for you.

Me !! :D :

Sup, I'm Lee, but y'all can call me Citrus/Wasabi. I make art, animations, and i write a bit sometimes (despite it being actual crap). I'm weird and I do weird things, self-ship is my thing, kinda. I switch between fandoms, so navigating what fandom I like is kinda difficult (no its not ya loser). Despite that, welcome here and enjoy the chaos :3. He/Him pronouns, please stand my bullshit, im not doing well so far.

OTHER SOCIALS:

Twitter: hahawasabi_XD

AO3: citruslemonz (i think)

Artfight: rawrrawr_wasabi

Fandoms: OMORI, LMK, TMNT (all iterations except MM), Sky COTL, Genshin Impact, Cookie Run (Kingdom and OvenBreak)

REQUESTS

DRAWING REQS: OPEN (only for my ocs, not yours)

ASK BOX: OPEN !! (please send asks to me.)

If you have a request, please be REALLY patient with me, my attention span is short, forgive me.

tags:

general art tag: #art

general tag: #hahawasabi

i may vent here, so if needed, please block "#wasabi's vent journal"

i dont tag reblogs, im lazy

asks: "#wasabi! on the mic", "#ask"

and others you might see here

ALT ACCS:

LMK oc account: @turquoisescales

OMORI account: @smileforthekamera

Main: YOURE HERE!!

DNI LIST: Homophobes, TERFS, pedos, zoophiles, racist people, misogynists, transphobes, arophobes, acephobes

please bear with me, i'm trying to improve, as a person and a creator.

have fun here :3

#hahawasabi #masterpost #lee's intro #intro page #wasabi! on the mic

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yourlocalghoulette · 1 year ago

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Tangled Webs, pt. 3

🚨warnings🚨

mature content, swearing, unprotected sex (use protection y'all), smut, NSFW, TW, CW, light bondage. lmk if I forgot anything<3

Three days later, you’re laying in your bed, still thinking about what Miguel did.

“That fucking idiot…” you say out loud.

You’ve been distancing yourself from Miguel after his strange behavior, not sure how he will act around you. But you make a decision.

“I’m going to talk to that fucking idiot,” you say at the ceiling through gritted teeth. You are determined to get an answer out of him.

You drift off to sleep, thinking about how you’re going to approach him.

*the next day*

You walk into work confidently, meeting up with Hobie, Peter and Gwen. They have no idea about what is going on with you and Miguel, and you prefer to keep it that way.

“Did you see how doc-ock from earth 174 fought?” Gwen laughs. “I could’ve thrown a web at him and he would’ve passed out!”

Hobie chuckles. “Nah man, your webs couldn’t knock anyone out,” he jokes. “Just jokin, mate.” He punches Gwen’s shoulder.

Peter turns to you. “Kiera, are you okay? You’ve seemed a little off lately.” He asks with a caring tone in his voice. He puts his hand on your shoulder.

“I-“ you consider telling him. “Nothings wrong.” You fake a grin and look up at him.

He looks concerned, then softens. “Ok,” he says. “Just- tell me if there is something wrong.”

You nod, then walk away.

*five minutes later*

You stand in front of Miguel’s door, rethinking everything you’d thought the night before. Taking a deep breath, you push through the door. You walk to his platform and face it.

“What the fuck, Kiera,” he growls. “I told you to get out of my fucking sight.”

I took a deep breath.

“Miguel, that night….” You close your eyes, then open them. “What the fuck was that?!” You yell.

Miguel keeps his back towards you. “Vete a la mierda, chica,” he snarls.

(fuck off, girl.)

You take a deep breath, trying to contain your anger. “Miguel, you can’t just- just do that, you can’t just tell me you love me, treat me like you love me, then treat me like I’m FUCKING disposable!”

He tenses up as you yell at him.

"I-," you lose your words, not knowing what to say. You hang your head down to your chest and close your eyes.

Miguel turns to face you. "Kiera, I-that was the first time in years that I felt that someone truly loved me. And-and I felt like I loved you back."

You stare at him with surprise. "Then why have you been ignoring me?" You snarl.

His adams apple jerked, tears pricking at the corners of his dark eyes. "Every time I get close to someone, I lose them. I-I can't do that again."

"Miguel..." you murmur sympathetically. You step forward and wrap your arms around his slim waist in a warm hug.

Miguel tenses up as you touch him, then hugs you back.

"Miguel, you will never lose me," you say comfortingly, your voice muffled as you lay your face on his chest.

Miguel kisses your head lightly, nuzzling your hair. He pulls you away and stares into your eyes. "I-" his words drift off as he pulls you in. He kisses your lips softly, then pulls away.

You stare into his red eyes. A small, needy grin appears on your face. "I-I need..." your words trail off as you look at the ground, embarrassed.

Miguel reaches under your chin and pulls your face up to look at you. "What do you need, Princesa?" He whispers seductively into your ear. He nips at your ear, making you whimper.

"I-I need you, Miguel...." you say in a hushed, smooth voice.

His jaw tightens as he straightens up. He loved being wanted, it gives him a sense of pride that nothing else can give him. He grips your waist tightly and sets you (rather aggressively) on his desk. He leans forward, your neck cradling his head as he greedily inhales your scent. He kisses your neck, slowly moving down to your collarbone, leaving little love marks as he nibbles you. He nips greedily at the hem of your shirt, then pulls it off along with you bra.

"Fuck, Miguel," you moan as he takes both breasts in his hands and massages them experimentally.

Miguel smirks. "You like that, princesa?"

You simply nod as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth and gently bites it.

"Use your words, slut," he growls, his voice slightly muffled as he keeps sucking your tits.

"F-fuck, Miguel, that feels so good," you gasp.

He nods, a look of dominance in his eyes. He slowly runs his rough hands down your waist, not stopping as he grabs your suit and underwear and pull them off. He stares at your pussy with lust.

"I've missed looking at your perfect little pussy, princesa," he whispers. He rubs the inside of your thighs, brushing over your clit a couple times, making you go crazy.

"F-fuck, baby, stop teasing..." you moan.

He grins devilishly and pushes his fingers between your folds, teasing your now wet entrance. "So wet for me, slut," he growls, enticed by your pussy. Without giving any warning, his suit glitches and falls completely off. His rock-hard length sprung out, and you stare at it, wide-eyed.

"What is it, princesa?" he smirks. “Too big for you?”

You shake your head softly. “Never…” you whisper.

Miguel spits on his hand and coats his throbbing cock with his saliva, lubing himself up. He lines up at your entrance, then slowly pushes in.

“Fuck, Miggy…” you whimper as he pushes his length in and out of you, quickening the pace.

“You like that?” He growls, fucking you harder. He lets out a deep groan. “Fuck…you’re so tight, slut.”

You throw your head back in pleasure. You can feel every inch of him, every vein on his throbbing dick. Your walls start to tighten around his cock as you feel the pressure start to build up.

Miguel notices and smirks. “Are you close, slut? You gonna cum all over my fucking cock?” He whispers seductively into your ear. He slaps your tits, sending you over the edge.

“F-fuuuck…” you moan loudly, your juices pouring out over Miguel’s throbbing dick.

Miguel gives you a seductive smile. “Good fucking girl.” He pulls out one more time and slams back into you.

You arch your back, practically screaming from the pleasure.

“Shitttt,” you cry, your voice a mixture of pain and pleasure.

Miguel stops, then leans forward and nuzzles your neck. You just lay there for a few minutes, catching your breath as Miguel whispers sweet words into your ear.

“I love you, Kiera…” Miguel mumbles, his voice muffled as he kisses your neck.

You wrap your fingers around his tangled hair and kiss his head.

“I love you too, Miguel.”

Miguel stands up, and you start to join him. But he pushes you forcefully back down on the bed.

“So eager to leave, huh, slut?” That look is back in his eyes. “No, I’m not done with you yet,” he hisses, his eyes glowing red.

#atsv miguel #miguel #miguel ohara #miguel smut #miguel spiderman #miguel x reader #miguel fanart #miguel x you #miguel o'hara #spiderman #smut #spider man #across the spiderverse #miguel spiderverse

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robo-milky · 2 years ago

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Heya Chris!! I'm here to invade your askbox 😈 /J/J

I need to say this (and I'll keep repeating it), I love your art so much?!?! I'd go as far to say it's somewhat a source of inspiration for me?!? Like the colors, the textures, e v e r y t h i n g ? ! Full marks <33

The IB au lives in my head rent free, roasted apples might be delicious /j

Do keep up the godly work, as I'm looking forward to seeing more from you!! Plus might I say, you're so nice yet so unhinged- Truly enjoyed the chaos of talking with you (hopefully it wasn't too much for you; but if it is, lmk!!)

The silliness cannot be contained /lh 😔✨

- your local friendly neighborhood nem

????!?!!??????? 💕💞✨ BRO I SHOULD BE SAYING THAT TO YOU-

Like- your palettes, your completed works, and the gritty vibe your art overall gives off??? It’s amazing!! Heck— I really love how “mature” (NOT IN THAT WAY-) your art is???? It gives me huge renaissance painting energy!!

Aughfjfjfjfj TYSM for the kind words!! It means so much =^;u;^=

Ah— the Ib AU-! I’m still toying around with its “main storyline” or the parts that’d be set in stone— but perhaps I’ll develop more on the background and actual lore as I think about it- I still have so many loose ideas of who is what artwork- (I could add you to the gallery guest list if you want-)

Apples are delicious whether they’re roasted or stewed— a truly versatile fruit. Perhaps I might even expand on possible apple recipes outside of the Ib canon?/lh

Awwww it was so fun talking to you too! I don’t think any one us was expecting Pandora’s box to opened so soon— 0 to 100 real quick. (And dw!! I’ll let you know when I need a break/recharge or what not jdjdjdjdj- And ofc the same goes for you too ^^=) Also looking forward to see more of you as well

#ask 🎊#mutuals 🎊

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raikkxz · 7 months ago

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ᯓ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ⑅ walk him like a dog 3 ✯ jb22 .ᐟ.ᐟ

★ 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃﹕﹙ yes/no - here﹚ — 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘﹕﹙in which sebastian vettels sister gets her dream job to work along with him, but stumbles across an infamous playboy﹚ — 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒﹕﹙small mention of vomiting, alcohol consumption, drunk reader, purpose use of lowercase letters only, use of y/n, VERYY light angst [i think], probably not well proofread, lmk if there's anything i missed!!﹚ — 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆﹕﹙jenson button 22 x f!vettel!reader﹚ — 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓﹕﹙idk but its not that long at all﹚ ★ 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎﹕﹙send in asks about this series or requests for parts/blurbs i need em 😞 [can be smut but then again i need a plot for it + i need to learn how to write it smhh]﹚

˚ ₊ · ͟͟͞͞➳ — ꒰ previous // last work // pinned post // masterlist // taglist // rules // next ꒱

SEB ISN'T THE USUAL OVER-PROTECTIVE BROTHER you'd see in many close sibling relationships. yes, he cares for you and still is and forever will be protective of you, but he's not one to stop you from having fun and partying.

he knew you were mature enough to stand for yourself and speak for yourself. so when you told him you agreed with your colleague to go to the party your co-works, f1 drivers, and many more were planning to attend, he simply nodded and smiled, trusting your guts. after all, you were an adult who can make your own decisions.

it wasn't often that you'd socialise more and attend gatherings like this. considering you were a studious woman now and during uni, you couldn't help but feel nervous. you never liked to get wasted, especially with the pounding headaches you'd get the next morning. the prospect of having to interact with more people made your heart race.

luckily, you've already made some extroverted friends/co-workers -- who love attending parties -- during your time working at redbull. they were there to be by your side during the party and help you dress.

"...are you sure this isn't too revealing?" you stand in front of your bathroom mirror. you shivered a bit, feeling a cool breeze as you turned slightly so you could see the opened part of your dress in the back. the dress was a pale baby blue, with delicate lacing and a small ribbon around the waist. "it's cold."

"trust me, babes, you look perfect." one of your friends, madison, giggled. "here, wear this so you don't freeze your tits off." she joked, handing you a sweater. you put it over your dress as you thank her, feeling a bit warmer.

"c'mon, i've been dying to do her makeup!" brianna, another one of your friends, said. "and i wanna add some accessories!!" jia grinned as she held up some jewellry.

you can't help but chuckles softly, letting them style you as you sat in a chair in front of the mirror. not even 30 minutes later, you were all ready to go. you smiled as you looked at yourself, looking at the pearl necklace displayed on your neck. your makeup wasn't too shimmer and sparkles, and was just right. you tucked your hair behind your ear as it kept falling in your face.

"here, babes." one of your friends handed you a hairband. you put it on, "thank you guys. really. i love it."

"i mean, what are friends for?" bri nudges you playfully. you all laughed, smiling.

"well, what are we waiting for? let's go!!" jia grins, rushing you all out.

〜

you could already hear the pounding music as you approached the club with your friends. they pulled you inside, ready to party. your heart thumped nervously, but you tried to relax yourself.

you smile as you see your brother and jenson. "seb!!"

"y/n!" he smiles back as you approach them.

"oh and hello, jenson." your smile widens, greeting the two gentlemen. sebastian wore a simple tux whilst jenson, on the other hand, looked as sharp as ever in his suit.

"y/n, glad you could make it." he breathed, taking the view in. "you look.. breathtaking."

seb almost snorts, seeing his friend so starstruck. "mark is here, gotta go!" he excuses himself, heading over to him. you can't help but roll your eyes at your brother as he leaves.

"thank you, you too." you can't help but giggle as he kisses your hand. "what a gentleman." you say playfully.

"only for pretty and nice girls like you." he winks with a grin. you laugh softly. the two of you easily fell into a conversation, laughing and joking as the night wore on. you felt like you both were the only ones in the room. that's how much jenson makes you feel so content.

"care to grab a drink?" jenson smiles, gesturing to the bar.

"mmm, of course." you follow him as he orders two margaritas.

you sip your drink as you chat, "i didn't know you liked margaritas."

"you do." he says, sipping his margarita. you open your mouth slightly, about to say something. he considered and remembered that about *you.

"i do love margaritas." you smile. as the night went on, you both got a little tipsy.

"god, i love this song." you hum along with the beat.

"in that case, care to dance, m'lady?" jenson grins, putting his cup on hte bar counter before bowing down slightly and holding out his hand.

"oh but of course, good sir." you giggle, putting down your drink as well and taking his hand.

he lead you to the dance floor, putting his strong hand on your waist. you were a bit too drunk to even fantasise about it, letting your hips sway to the beat.

"didn't know you were much of a dancer." jenson joked, watching you dance to the beat.

"i'm not, but ugh, i love this song." you wrap your arms around jensons neck, letting him sway you. jenson chuckled, leaning in closer.

as he watched you dance, he took in ever inch of you, every detail. you looked ethreal. he loved the way your skin looked under the flashing lights of the club. he loved the way your lips sang along to the song. he loved the way you moved your body to the beat. he loved the way you laughed, the way those few strands of hair would often fall onto your face and you'd push it behind your ear. he loved the way you were always quick and witty, smart with your words. he loved the way you smiled when you were with him.

and that's when it struck him. it was then that he realised he was in love. really in love. not just infatuated, not just drawn to your beauty and intelligence, but truly, deeply in love with every part of you. he was absolutely smitten. and god, this feeling. it was a mixture of joy and vulnerability, a rush of warmth flooding his chest whenever he thought of you. it was a love that consumed him, yet made him feel more alive than ever before.

"c'mon, let's get more drinks!!" you giggled, feeling a bit light on your head. you lead jenson to the bar and you both ordered more drinks.

"i think that's enough for you, love." jenson chuckled.

"oh c'monnn, you're no fun!" you already started to slur your words, blinded by the lights of the club.

"darling, you might get a hangover. i think that's enough." he pushed those loose strands of hair behind your ear, leaning a little closer. you stumbled a bit, obviously a little dizzy. "told you." he said.

"i never noticed, your eyes are slightly gray." you look up into jenson's eyes.

"pardon?" he furrows his eyebrows.

you put your hand on his cheek, leaning slightly closer and not minding the close proximity. "your eyes. i just thought they were blue."

enjoying your touch, jenson smiles. "yeah, you're definitely drunk."

"am not!" you giggle.

"let's get you home, love." jenson sighs, putting his hand over your hand that layed on his cheek. he pulled you out of the club, making sure to let sebastian know you both were leaving.

he lead you to his car. "where are we goooingg?" you slurred as jenson buckled you in.

"to your apartment." he got in the drivers seat, buckled himself up and started driving. you soon arrive, and he helps you up the elevator and inside your apartment.

"i don't feel so well.." you groan, leaning on jenson's shoulder. he lead you to the bathroom, pulling your hair back as you threw up into the toilet. he helps you wash your face, then lays you on your bed. who knew he could be so caring?

"water?" he asks softly, holding up a glass. you nod, taking a few sips. he sits next to you on the bed as you place your glass back down. you look up at him, admiring the view as he strokes your hair.

"jenson?"

"yes, love?"

"you're really pretty." you mumble softly.

jenson smiles. "and you're gorgeous."

"can i kiss you?" you slur, reaching up to cup his face. he purses his lips, frowning.

"i.. i can't."

you let your hand fall. "why not?"

"you're drunk."

"so?"

"what if you didn't want to kiss me? if you were sober, i mean." he sighed.

"but i do."

"i can't be sure. go to sleep, y/n." he tucks you in, kissing your forehead.

"goodnight, jense."

★ 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐎﹕﹙changed the theme btw yayayayyaayayya﹚ ౨ৎ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓﹕﹙@gray4youuu @c-losur3 @ujws5 @namgification @faithshouseofchaos @isurvived3-11andimproud @somebodyonce-toldme @44lewico﹚

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moonhze · 2 years ago

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day 12; fiendish. @simstober

#ts4 #the sims 4 #simblr #ts4 edit #ts4 simstober #simstober #simstober challenge #*eden james #idk i thought of devils/demons for this one #also pls lmk if i should add any tags to this #the outfit is skimpy i know but didn't think it needed marking for mature idk

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jangofctts · 3 years ago

Text

Until Ashes Are All You Breathe (Batman/Bruce Wayne x fem!reader)

PART ONE PART THREE PART FOUR

Rated: Mature, Explicit 18+

Word Count: 6.8k

Warnings: !!spoilers!!, smut, sex in the batmobile, explicit language, unprotected sex, handjobs, vaginal fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, edging, mentions of violence/someone getting shot, (lmk if I missed anything please!!)

a/n: WELL HERES A SECOND PART BC I CANT CONTROL MYSELF SJKWEJHR also I do not cARE that the bat mobile is too small--I have taken creative liberties so wkjrkjr

The mayor is dead.

You get the call not even an hour after the murder has taken place.

It’s a gruesome scene—not so much as gory, but more along the lines of completely fucked up. Bashed in skull, wrapped in ductape and plastic wrap. This is something beyond the simple, random act of violence or a targeted, passionless hit. This is…personal. And the weirdest thing about it is that, there’s a letter taped to his chest addressed to the Batman.

Hits a little too close to home—no one knows you’re in cahoots with the guy save for Gordon. Your reputation is still fresh and you’re young. Your image can’t be tarnished this early in your career working with vigilante justice, Gordon explained. Gives the station a bad rap—specially if it came to attention that a crime scene tech was passing off evidence to the certain vigilante in question. Not even Gordon nor the haughty position your mother holds as senator could save you from that sort of backlash.

And so, like you’ve always done since you’ve been hired—you keep your head down. You focus on your work, documenting every stray fiber, scuff mark, stain and beyond. Some people, however, do not respect these perimeters you’ve set for yourself.

Detective Braun, portly and tall, sporting a blonde handlebar mustache better left in the 70s, meanders over to your section of evidence collection. The camera you hold flashes and clicks as you record a blood splatter. In his palm he shakes a collection of Cadbury Eggs—he pops one into his mouth. He’s always eating the little chocolates. The candy shells crunch between his teeth coffee stained teeth. “Hey, Blue.”

You mumble a hello and flutter over to a scuff mark. The camera clicks. You bite your tongue.

He follows. “How’s your mom?”

You refrain from rolling your eyes. It’s like clockwork with this guy. You sigh. At least he’s not hitting on you. “Still married, sir.”

“Damn,” he laments. He pops another chocolate into his mouth and extends his open palm towards you. The sugared dyes have bled into his skin, rubbed off by his sweat. “Want one?”

“Uh, no. That’s alright,” you say. You shoot towards the kitchen in another fruitless escape attempt. “Thanks though.”

Fuck—where’s Gordon when you need him?

“You’ll let me know though, right?” Detective Braun persists. He smooths his now hand down his red checkered tie. You raise a questioning brow. “If she and your old man ever divorce.”

Your face scrunches into one of disdain. “Dude—”

Braun holds up his hands in surrender and has the audacity to chuckle. His cheeks turn cherry red every time he process an emotion beyond his need for Cadbury Eggs and pestering the crime scene crew about their, very, married mothers.

Today is full of surprises.

You hear the familiar, heavy steps and the subtle clink…clink…clink of metal lining Batman’s legs before you see the pointed tips of his helmet slide into view. What the fuck is he doing here. He can’t be that fucking stupid—waltzing in an active crime scene—

Like he can hear your thoughts, his sharp eyes find yours through the bustle of your coworkers. Your breath catches in your throat—

Last time you’ve seen him was…well. You clear your throat and rub your forearm against your nose—masking up the furious heat that rushes up your chest and pools under the flesh of your cheeks. You blink and Bats has straightened his gaze to the room beyond.

“Who invited the Batman?” Braun retorts, just as stunned as every other poor bastard cramped into the Mayor’s townhouse. “Is that allowed?”

Speak of the devil and so he shall appear. Gordon strides ahead of Bats, leading him to the Mayor’s body. You draw no suspicion to yourself—you’re invisible, as it should be. You’ll meet up with Gordon after this.

=+=+=+=

Like you predicted, you get a text from Gordon. You meet him in the back alley, two streets down from the station. The looming, dark figure of Bats lurks behind him.

“What were you thinking, Gordon?” You hiss, jabbing an accusatory finger at him. “I thought we were supposed to keep this shit under wraps!”

“It is, don’t worry, kiddo,” Gordon assures. He knows how you are with rules. “Vengeance is more involved than you know—trust me on this.”

The explanation is mildly insane, but you trust Gordon. That’s what matters. You rub your eyes and flick your hand in dismissal. “So Batsy has a fanboy. Great.”

Except—it’s not so great.

Commissioner Savage shows up dead a day later.

Another letter is addressed to Batman.

Something about a thumb-drive and the Mayor involved in escort services. It all leads back to that damn Iceberg Lounge. What the fuck. You don’t want anything to do with that place after what happened to Bats, but like hell you’d ever explain the full details to Gordon of all people.

You grin and bear it when Gordon comes up the grand idea of staking the place out. Collect as many photos of the upstanding members of society to create a pool of potential victims. The unfortunate part of working with a well seasoned lieutenant is that they can sniff out the barest inkling of tension better than a bloodhound—of awkwardness. It’s another nail in you coffin when you elect to go with Gordon instead of Bats. It’s out of self preservation—you don’t know how well you’ll fend in a car, alone, with Bats without jumping his bones or making a fool of yourself. Probably both.

Does Bats even want anything to do with you, anyway?

“Whatever it is that’s got you both all jumpy,” Gordon interrupts your spiral. He takes off his glasses and uses his shirt to wipe away the moisture that collects on them. It’s drizzling atop the open-aired tower. And cold. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose with his pinky. “Kiss and makeup—we got more important things to worry about.”

You wince. Poor choice of words.

Batsy just stares off into the distance. The muscles in his sharp jaw jump as he clenches his teeth.

You follow Batty to his car once the three of you leave the tower. You assume that this ok—he’d probably tell you to get lost if it weren’t right? Your worries are quickly derailed.

“Is this car even street legal?” You scoff, running the flat of your palm over the sleek metal. This shit is more armored than the goddamn Popemobile.

“Are you gonna arrest me for it?”

Your nose scrunches. “No.”

Batsy inclines his head, his lips tilting up into a whisper of a smirk. With a flourish of his cape he opens the door and slides inside. You sigh and follow him in. The first thought you have of the interior is that it’s cramped and the second—holy fuck Batboy is rich. You’ve been in your fair share of government vehicles and out-the-ass expensive vintage models your father held an interest in, but this—this is a heavily modified tank crammed into a Dodge Charger.

Either he’s rich or he’s sponsored by some moneybag. Idiotic of anyone to believe he just picks this stuff up at the local Goodwill. The latter is unlikely—from what you’ve seen, he follows his own motives that have nothing to do with money.

The drive is fast even after taking all the back ways around to get to the Iceberg Lounge that recedes under the overpass. You pick at your sleeve as Bats rolls to a stop, just out of sight but with enough visibility that you’re able to snap pictures of whoever slinks out the backdoor.

You break the terse silence. It’s unbearable. “Hey—at least you don’t have to go in this time, right?”

His armor shifts as he flashes you a wary stare. He makes a noise of agreement.

Better than nothing, you think. And that’s the extent of your conversation—he’s a quite man and you’re nervous to prod at him.

It doesn’t help that this stakeout is beyond drab. It’s early in the night—no one’s gonna be coming out of that backdoor for hours. You rub your thumb over your bottom lip—maybe you could get Doordash—

“You ever been inside?” The sudden, rough scrape of his voice in the silence startles you.

You swallow and shrug. “One time a few years ago. Wasn’t really my vibe, but it was my friend’s birthday, so…”

You remember it vividly. Too many flashing lights, sweaty bodies and skull pounding music that rattles your ribcage. You’re about to ask why he’s asked you this, but movement flashes in the corner of your eyes. The backdoor opens.

Two men come tumbling out, snarling and grabbing at each other in a drunken brawl. Not who you’re looking for but the disturbance is interesting to watch, regardless. And then it all goes ass up. The smaller of the two is thrown to the cracked concrete. He reaches into his pocket—

“Oh, shit—“

A gunshot cracks through the air—the man crumples. Your heart leaps between your teeth, icy panic surging from the pit of your stomach up to your chest. You’ve gone through hundreds of trainings that equip you to deal with these sorts of things—none of it helps. Those were imaginary—no real threat or the actual sight of someone dying.

The man on the ground, face hidden in partial shadow whips his head in the direction of the car.

You don’t realize you’ve shrieked, not until a large hand, covered in black leather clamps over your mouth. In another motion he hooks his hand under you knees, wrenches you close all while shoving your back flat against the seats. He slides over you, laying the majority of his weight atop of you—the back of your head cracks against the armrest—fucking hell. Your squeaks are muffled by his glove as tears prick at your eyes.

Holy fuck—you just saw a guy get murked point blank. You breathe harshly through your nose and claw at his hand—you’re not getting enough air, goddamnit. Everything is spilling into madness like an overfilled teakettle abandoned on a hot stove.

Batman shifts his weight and drops his head to fit into the juncture of your neck and shoulder. His voice vibrates against your throat, your heart ramps up even higher, so fast you’re positive Batsy can hear your pulse. “Quiet…”

You don’t listen, crumbling into a disarray of rapidly firing neurons and anxiety riddled nerves. The same kinda feeling you get when your foot skips a step or when you’ve been caught in a lie by a close friend. A wicked mess of knots and an icy plunge into perilous waters all held beneath your breastbone. Your fingers feel numb—you’re gonna fucking die here.

You squirm and dig your nails into his glove. He rests more of his weight on you. “Take a deep breath—trust me, Blue.”

Bats raises his head—you meet his gaze—the color of still blue water contrasted by the black grease paint. He has pretty eyes, you think—you take a deep inhale through your nose and sink into the seat. The heaviness of him is a comfort too. Like a makeshift weighted blanket.

You hand falls slack and so does his. The taste of leather lingers on your lips. The seam of his gloved thumb skims up your face and catches the lone tear that crawls down your cheek. He brushes the digit along the line of your cheekbone. You hiccup. “Good girl.”

That’s just downright cruel. Just calling to the darkest corner of your lonely heart like that. Burning with wild abandon with no regard for the consequences that it’ll bring. It’s only been a week and you’ve told yourself that you’re over him. No empty nights lying in bed, staring at the ceiling thinking you could see his masked face in the pattern of the cracks if you looked hard enough. That would be crazy.

You bring your hand to his jaw, The stubble pricks your soft palm as you trail it up to the edge of his dark mask. Your fingertips brush over the sloped brow. You bite your tongue and tap your nail into a roughened groove on his temple. A bullet grazed him here. Bats’ eyes never leave your face. “This is new.”

Neither of you mention the warble in your voice.

He sighs and drags his eyes above the lip of the door. “They’re gone,” Basty says, yet makes no move to readjust himself. His eyes drop to your parted lips.

You’ve never been the best in suspended moments like this. You swallow and trace your thumb over his bottom lip — full and pouting and cracked in spots. You lick your lips and offer a smile. “Are we about to kiss right now?”

Batsy grunts and captures your jaw between his fingers. Damn—not even a little smile. “You’re a distraction.”

He kisses you—the edges of the world drop off into some unknown void. A black hole or a supernova, it swallows, yet creates—remains of heavenly light and the low twinkle of faraway stars promising something bigger than yourself. Ache and desire swell inside of your heart, ready to burst in his hand the moment his bruised fingers decide to squeeze—weave your heartstrings into a noose of frayed hopes and stupid wishes. A second tear rolls down your cheek and over your connected lips. You have a soft heart. You gasp as his warm tongue swipes over your bottom lip, salt and the taste of him bloom across your tastebuds.

Batboy takes this chance to drag his tongue against the roof of your mouth—a tendril of fire licks at your insides.You whimper softly, his jaw slackens against your open palm as he slips his tongue into your mouth again. The hard carbon fiber that hides his nose brushes up against your cheek—it’s a torture of the worst kind you once again think. To have him so close, to taste him and hold him and know that the return to real life is inevitable.

It has be torture for him too, because he hesitates to parts, holding his body in a way that screams regret. The gentle rain pitter-patters onto the roof and beads over the partially fogged windshield. His lips are still chapped, not as feverish as the last time but still driven by the incandescent flame of passion and want. It’s just…

It’s not very comfortable.

The space is ridiculously small. The armored layers and the bulky width of his shoulders barely allow any lateral movement of his arms, lest he wants to accidentally push a button that’ll eject the car into fuckin’ space. He instead dips a hand under your back and presses his palm flat across your spine as if you weren’t close enough. You don’t care—especially not when your shirt rolls up. Nor when he takes advantage of this by sliding his hand over your flushed, bare skin.

You’re entranced by the way his lips move against yours and the rare graze of his teeth on your bottom lip, addicted to the way his fingertips dance and drift indolently along the bumps of your spine and the sides of your rib cage. He doesn’t even know he’s doing this—just as entranced as you are by him. The leather scrapes over the sensitive patch of nerve endings right where your last rib starts to conjoin with the curve of your hip. Goosebumps rush up your skin at the soft groan of enjoyment. Bats’ tongue dips into your mouth, tangling with yours in a wet, hazy dance.

Fuck—you tilt your hips and shift your knees that are trapped between the back of the seat and his body. It’s a poor attempt to relieve some of the pressure that collects in the pit of your stomach like a hot coal. There’s nowhere to fucking go.

You try to draw your knees up higher, widening your hips to allow him to sink closer, more comfortably than trying to basically plank over you. You pause as you feel a pleasant firm pressure of him between the crux of your thighs. You shiver—the rough material of his pants and the solid weight of what you’ve been unjustly denied for months now, just beneath it, brushing between your legs. Your head buzzes like radio static.

You part—uncontrolled panting loud within the small, quiet space.

“Blue.”

His voice is strained and your mind washes ashore with a brief sense of guilt. You’ve been rocking your hips achingly slowly against the front of his pants. You mumble an unintelligible apology as a sheepish smile graces your face. Being so crammed tight like this, you’re able to feel every little shift of his body—the way his chest plate moves with every breath he takes and that certain warmth lingering between your thighs and the firm weight of his cock hidden away in his heavy work pants. Batsy shifts his hips upwards in a stupid attempt to curate room in such a tight space but the contact only brings your center down against the bulge that now begins tenting his tactical pants. The movement rips a soft puff of air from your throat.

Bats shuts his eyes and drops his chin, scrambling for composure. His fist a bloody mess around the rough rope that keeps him from plummeting to his base instincts. Resisting the tempting softness of your body beneath him, the way you unfurl for him like a flower that only blooms in the moonlight.You cup his face and plant a sweet kiss on the side of his frowning mouth. “I want you.”

He makes a noise low in his throat. Leather creaks as his fingers clench against you. “We shouldn’t—not here.”

“Prude,” you tease, drawing him into another kiss. His dissent to the idea of fucking in his car is clear, but he still doesn’t move. Bats has all the power in the world to peel himself off of you, readjust and drive you back into town—but he doesn’t. He’s giving you a lead, the threadbare whisper of suggestion to convince him to stay. Have your way with him as long as he still has that option to blame you if anything goes awry. A scapegoat to say that he tried to resist. That’s alright. You’ll bear the brunt of it. “Fuck me—I’m all yours.”

“There’s no room,” Bats insists. His words are hollow and flaky.

You roll your hips up. His hand shoots up to seize your hip, gripping tight as a ragged noise echoes through the car. Your name follows the tail end of his grunt and like you’ve deduced, his hold on your hip is only a front. He doesn’t put a stop to the way you arch into him and groan enticingly.

Vengeance murmurs your name again, it’s choppy. He’s close to shattering. Just one more shove and you’ll have him strung around your fingers. A web of intertwined knots made from fishing line that’ll leave behind angry red slashes in the skin if you try to cut through it with just your fingernails. You’ll need a sharp blade to sever him from you.

“I think about your mouth on me all the time,” you whine, the words airy and floating in the leaden space between you. His body goes rigid as memories spill into his head. How he had held his fingers and mouth to your fevered, slick cunt. How his bare fingers had glided easily through your folds and the way his hot mouth slotted perfectly to your swollen clit. Based on the way Bats shivers, he’s fallen into the same predicament as you. How desperately you want to feel him everywhere that his armor won’t allow. “I need you—please.”

You feel dizzy with arousal—sweat pricks at your hairline. Fuck—he’s frustrating. And then… he gives.

Bats grabs your hand, dwarfed by the size of his and pressed your palm against the clothed tip of his length. He stutters out a curse and drags his lips down your jawline and to the column of your neck. “You win.”

Those two words strike through you like a match to gasoline—burning white hot between your thighs. Shit, you want him pressed close like this forever, but as tragedy goes, you don’t have forever—much less hours. You’re running on stolen minutes.

“Can I touch you?” Bats supplements the question with a squeeze of his other hand that’s sitting on your hip. He doesn’t need your permission, you’ve already given it, but he asks anyway.

You eagerly nod. You shift, pull you legs up and wiggle one leg out of your pants and underwear—holy fuck, this should be considered an Olympic sport. You didn’t know you were this flexible.

You don’t remember Batboy taking off his glove—only that his calloused fingers and that his dry palm, a little cold, skates a slow path to your navel. His forehead drops against your collarbone, his bare hand dipping between your legs that are spread as far apart as you can manage in the given space. His fingers spread over your cunt, teasing out a little moan. You jolt as Bats suddenly drags the pad of his middle finger over the slit of your pussy and dips further into your wet folds.

Batboy is a patient man—you know this better than anyone, but his pace starts off quick, pressing fast little circles over your clit. The pleasure is raw, but there’s no place to curl away from him. You’re stuck here to suffer under the consequences of your actions. You know for a fact he’s one for the slow build. Batty wants to feel everything. From stitched up wounds, to the sting of mistakes, and all you have to offer him—penance maybe. Or maybe the pain makes him feel alive. A shame that he can’t savor these honey-sweet moments—not now anyway. Christ you hope there’s a next time. One with more space and a whole lot less armor.

His fingers cut to the quick, fast and rough, playing your body like a musician’s clever fingers against brass strings until you sing for him. Bats drops his shoulder, giving him a greater reach as he drags the length of his index finger across your throbbing clit. Your body jolts in response, hips chasing his fingers as he swirls them against your soaked entrance. He curses as he feels you here—dripping and swollen, plush velvet that welcomes the gentle proddings of his lean fingers.

You whine, pitching up an octave as he parts your cunt with his index finger while maintaining devastatingly speedy, deliberate strokes of his thumb directly to your exposed clit. he’s burning a hole right through your stomach with his fingertips alone. You squeeze your eyes shut and claw and his forearm, unsure if you’re trying to pull him closer or away from you.

It’s too much—it sears through you from the centre of your core and spirals out to your lower spine and beyond—like lightning to metal. You try to arch away as the pleasure begins to scald, but his touch follows, caging you into the door and the seat—no where to go other than forward and back into his unwavering touch. Your mind unravels as your orgasm crests, and you know you’re devolving into a string of senseless babbling and cries of his name.

His fingers press firmly against your clit, sweeping one final circle. Fucking shit—you swear your ears ring from how quickly your ecstasy plows through your trembling body. You barely hear your own choked cries as he drags you through it until you’re nothing but a mess of twitchy aftershocks and wheezy pants.

“Good?” Batsy asks you softly.

“Fuck yeah,” you shoot a hand up to his pants and tug at the front of them. “Off—take these off.”

His hand leaves you, swatting your groping, impatient hand away. The sound of his zipper is near jarring in the quiet. Your heart jumps into fluttering rhythm as he eases his length out. You can sort of see in the low glow of dashboard appliances, not enough to makeup the definition of his cock. The next noise that falls from that grim mouth of his comes when you wrap your fingers around the tip of his flushed length. A bead of precum smears wetly against the palm of your hand as you slip your fingers around his familiarly thick shaft and begin to pump his length. The angle is a little awkward, but you find a rhythm that suits the occasion. His jaw clenches, breath hitching.

The dark magnifies his size, heavier and stiffer than steel in your hand as your motions grow slicker with every pass of your palm against the leaking tip of is cock. Your wrist twists on its way down his length. Each time you tug, dragging the velveteen skin up, Batty bites back a fragile moan.

Your grip on his cock falters the moment he touches you without warning. His fingers are long and bruised—like those of an artist or a miserable pianist drowning in woe—and when they swipe across the oversensitive bundle of nerves you swear you’re affronted with the very spark of creation. He dips two fingers into your entrance, up to the second knuckle then back to your clit. Bats crowds in closer and laves his tongue over you neck and sucks a bruise into the delicate skin here. He huffs—he’s been fucking himself into your still hand and you’ve been too selfish to notice. You start to jerk him off again, his sticky precum thick over your fingers and the slopes of you knuckles.

“Fuck, Blue,” Bats speaks into crux of your neck and shoulder, hot breath fanning across the skin. “I don’t—I can’t control myself around you.”

The last part is whispered and muddled—too much of a secret to be fully revealed. Another facet of his guarded heart. You don’t get the chance to chase after this revealed tidbit like you want to. His fingers redouble their efforts—everything winds tight again—

You claw at his vambraces, your lips parted in a silent wail as white light bursts behind your eyes. His fingers drag down through your folds, wetting themselves with the flood of your arousal. Even as you hips jerk, Bats slots his fingers back against that bundle of nerves and works them faster than he did before. You hiss and try to move your heel up to dig into his thigh to deter him, but there’s no use. Your legs are numb anyway and prickle with every movement. The back of your head digs into the door handle and you arch and beg for mercy.

“One more.”

Fuck. You start to shake your head—the waver in his words make you pause.

“Please—take it, Blue.”

It clicks.

This is his way of an apology for the week before. The supposed sacrifice you’ve made for him, when in reality it was less than a favor. Overload your entire system with mouth-watering pleasure so that the sins of the past wash away—he wants you to understand that he isn’t greedy. No matter how many times you assure him that there’s no reason to apologize, you’ll let him repent in a way that he feels necessary, if only to bring him some peace of mind.

“Ok—ok,” you keen. “Yeah…”

You swear he mutters a thank you between rolling his fingers over your clit. It takes four deliberate upward strokes, the pleasure serrated and unrefined. You stiffen and cum again—it’s wet, burning heat soaks your inner thighs and probably the seat below. You’re still cumming as he crams two of his fingers deep into your cunt and curls them deliciously against your fluttering walls. You cry weakly, the sound of his fingers inside of you obscene.

His fingers pull away from your cunt, dragging themselves wetly across your stomach. Bats allows you to catch your breathe, collect yourself from the wild edge of madness and the influx of bliss. The windows are completely fogged now, patchily cleared by the sparse raindrops that trickle down the glass.

Bats calls your attention back to him. You twitch as his hand smooths down your thigh, numb from being stationary for so long. “Do you still want more?”

Your muscles clench—you’re more than ready—your body aches for something to substantial to fill you. “Yes—fuck—fuck me.”

He grunts as you rock your hips up again, wriggling yourself until you feel the flushed underside of his cock drag against your soft stomach. Liquid smears across your navel as you try all on your own to maneuver his cock to slide into your wet heat. Batsy grants you mercy.

Batboy shifts. Your knee bumps into the dashboard, knocking against some lever—shit. You both startle as the windshield wipers spring to life. The back of his head thunks against the low ceiling. “Damnit,” his irritation bleeds through in the way he roughly shoves the the lever back to its rightful place.

You snicker as a million and one taunts spring to the tip of your tongue, they crumble to ash the second he reaches between your bodies and drags the swollen head of his cock across the cleft of your cunt. He slots himself against the drenched line of your cunt, still messily slick from your previous orgasms Vengeance bestowed. You tense as he holds there, watching the way your body squirms for him as he methodically parts you with his cock, his fingers holding himself at just the right angle to teasingly glide through your lips and oversensitive clit. You don’t understand why it’s taking him so long to just fuck you.

Your brows furrow, face twisting. You open your mouth to snap at him, and only then does he sink himself lower until his cock catches at your entrance. Almost there—another tear tracks down your cheek as Batty swears—feeling your cunt dribble down cock, rocking up, bypassing your throbbing entrance and into your clit until he feels the muscle of your pinned thighs shake against the seat and his waist.

You whimper his name. Bats digs his fingers into the delicate meat of your thighs. He’s slick with your wetness. It coats your thighs and you know he can feel it too. It’s coats your inner thighs—already a fucked out mess that only he can satiate. What the fuck is he waiting for?

“Jesus, Bats, put it in—fuck—I need you inside me,” you beg. A last ditch effort against all odds. You don’t care that you sound like a whiny brat, or the fact that his sullen eyes are alight with a dark undercurrent of something akin to repletion. You reach blindly for him, slapping your palm against his chest plate.

It feels like eons before his cock ruts into your swollen clit. When it does you swear you forget how to fucking breathe. The hand that rests over your thigh jumps to your throat, his fingers spreading across the base of your jaw and holding your head firmly in place. He doesn’t squeeze or threaten to cut off your air supply—just holds his cold fingers here like an anchor. A revelation of how easily you could bend and crack under the weight of Vengeance—

Your grasp at his arm, he leans down another time, the stubble of his jaw and his mask scratching the spot just beneath your earlobe. “Crybaby Blue—always gets what she wants…”

Your eyes pop open—how does he know that—

He pushes into you.

He moans, a heavy sound that sends a shiver down your spine. Every thought melts into a puddle as your cunt stretches tight around him as he haltingly grinds inch after inch of his cock into your pussy. You both groan as he bottoms out, the sharp protrusions of his pale hips digging into the soft flesh of your tummy.

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

The first roll of his hips makes a downright pornographic noise that peppers shame into your consciousness, but it’s quickly kicked to the back of your brain as he slams back into your cunt—obliterating all thoughts save for him. Bats’ lip curls over his teeth, tucking his knees under your thighs and crushing you even further between the door and the weight of his body. Each stroke is liquid fire, shredding you apart at the seems while stitching you back together in the same breathe. It’s like a shot of pure paradise. Like this, it’s as if he’s reaching the deepest part of you, pounding into your cunt and hitting every nerve with deadly precision. Your legs prickle with the stretch as you squirm beneath him, stuck with the brunt of rough thrusts and violent stamina with nowhere to go.

His thumb lightly presses over the base of your throat and sucks another mark above where his fingers curl around your skin. He moans your name—your walls clench tight around him as you throw your arms around his wide shoulders and dig your nails into the fabric of his thick cape. You voice cracks with airy moans—attempting to work through the haze of lust and respond. All that tumbles from your lips is a pathetic whine of his name—so close to that precipice again. The friction of each thrust scraping against your clit, the way he fills you and the possessive hand curled over your throat. You don’t know if your should be embarrassed that you’re cumming again—

His hand around your throat unlatches and wiggles between your bodies and rub your little bundle of nerves in a frenzied half-circle. You wheeze—

“Don’t fight it,” he whispers.

You don’t.

You seize and cry out, violent shivers forcing your back to arch high off the seat and into his chest plate. It tears through your being, sharp and deadly through your core, spreading to every nerve and slicing through it with molten pleasure. Batty's voice is a gravelly scrape that vibrates next to your ear, sprinting towards his own deserved high. Your climax still boiling through your blood, is dragged out as Bats continues to swing his hips freely—an endless echo that leaves you incredibly oversensitive and sore. For the next few moments, his thrusts are too sharp, the grip he has on you too abrasive—but then he’s cumming too. A couple more rough jabs and then he’s seating himself deep inside your cunt, coating your insides with thick ropes of his warm spend.

You lay here like this, crushed under his body and recollecting your wildly spinning thoughts. Everything is dizzy and intangible—you can feel his cracked lips laving sweet kisses up your jaw, over your check and onto your lips. Your eyelids flutter shut as you’re swept into the addiction of his frowning lips, pliant and warm.

The fantasy comes to a screeching halt—

You jolt as your phone, abandoned on the floor of the car rings full blast. You curse and throw your arm down, scrabbling to find the damn thing.

“Is that the Kim Possible ringtone?”

You raise a brow and purse your lips. “You know who Kim Possible is but not Edna Mode?” He cocks his head to the side. Your fingers find the edge of your phone, you bring it to your ear. “Y’know what, whatever—hello?”

It’s Gordon—he wants you both back at the tower. Stakeout’s over. “Yeah—we’ll meet you there.”

You end the call.

He’s staring at your again—you rub your nose and shift your tingling hips. You chew your bottom lip and drop your head back against the armrest—he’s still inside of you. Fuck. “We—we gotta go, Batboy.”

You both hiss as he pulls his softened cock out of your abused cunt. A surge of his cum, mixed with your arousal spills onto your thighs and the fancy leather seat below you. “That’s…that’s gonna stain.”

He grabs the back of the seat and heaves himself off of you. You inhale a deep, full breath—suddenly aware that you’ve been taking measly half breaths the entire time. No wonder you feel dizzy. He zips up his pants. “I don’t care.”

You shakily pull your pants and underwear up your legs and unstick yourself from your haphazard position. Your lower back cracks, you hips whine at the movement and fuck—even your neck aches. It’s going to be a bitch to wake up tomorrow. “I think you compressed my spine.”

“I’ll make sure to include a bed in the next model,” he quips, and it’s not the rare display of humor that surprises you. It’s his smile. It’s not a toothy, face-splitting one—just a simple curve of his lips that display his subtle dimples and an emotion other than his moroseness.

You’ll follow him to the ends of the earth, you decide, even if it leads to nothing more than heartbreak and shattered hopes. Your Orpheus to your self proclaimed Eurydice—it probably works better the other way around, though. You just…he reminds you of a lonely star in the far reaches of space and you know, with damning insight, that constellations get named after either heroes or grief. Wild heroes, wild griefs. Vengeance bleeds from the crooked, sacrificial dagger wedged in his breastbone, and you’re trying to patch the hole in his heart with trembling fingers, but the blood keeps spilling.

“Let’s go,” he urges.

You roll out of that dingy back alley and when you peer out the window to check for any lingering shadows and lurking evils, you remember—

The body of that guy is long gone. Someone is cleaning up their messes. Bats senses your inner turmoil, and presses his foot against the pedal. The engine roars. “Don’t think about it.”

You’ll try your best.

=+=+=+=

Her laugh echoes through the expanse of the chilled cave. He can’t escape her and he doesn’t really want to.

Every sentence Bruce tries to write starts with Blue and ends with his heart wanting to twist and burst open. He feels too much all the time or else he feels nothing at all, and it doesn’t seem to matter what he does. He never thought it possible that someone could neutralize his tumultuous soul in the way that she does.

His throat bobs as his dirt stained fingers hover over the backspace. He presses it—Bruce’s mouth goes dry as he watches Blue laugh for the umpteenth time through the red tinted recording. He imagines kissing her, her blossom-soft lips sweet on his, glistening with madness and uncertainty and lovesick desire. It’s almost enough to make him smile.

He rubs at his stinging eyes. Bruce promised this wouldn’t happen, that it would be easy to steer clear of her.

It was easy.

And like most everything he touches—he’s stained it black. He’s ruined it. A stupid fucking mistake. Equal parts repulsed by himself and the other half yearning for another touch of her soft hands. Another smile, another sweet sigh and the smell of her perfume. Bruce lies awake at night mouthing the syllables of her name as if he could manifest her into existence—it never works. What would to be gained from it anyhow? Fear lacerates his heart—he doesn’t think she’d like the face that resides under the mask of Vengeance.

Bruce’s eyes trace the grainy outline of her smile—

“Haven’t heard that voice in years—how is Blue?”

Bruce jumps and casts a half-hearted glare over his bare shoulder. He didn’t hear Alfred come in. He spins in his chair and studies the grimy floor instead of Alfred’s eyes. “She doesn’t know.”

“That Bruce Wayne has an alter-ego?” Alfred strolls over to the desk and leans against it with a sigh. His keen eyes trace over the paused film. He smiles. “Pretty—you should invite her for tea.”

Bruce blinks and shakes his head. Guilt stirs in his stomach. That would throw an even bigger wrench in everything. That’s not fair to Blue. “I can’t.”

“Reconnecting with an old friend might do you some good,” Alfred pushes. He straightens his vest and adjusts his tie. He wanders back to the gated elevator. He winks. “I’ll arrange for noon on Thursday.”

“Alfred—”

The doors snick shut.

Fuck.

#welp kejrkeh #pattinson!batman x reader #batman x reader #batman 2022 x reader #battinson x reader #battison #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne #batman

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bestaez · 2 years ago

Text

Strangers (Chapter Eight)

Strangers from Hell AU

Series Masterlist

pairing: ot7 x reader

genre: yandere, horror/thriller

word count: 5.2k

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!): murder, mature themes, obsessive/possessive behavior, emotional manipulation, stalking, bullying, violence, blood and injuries, mentions of attempted sexual assault (not by BTS), mc has some self-deprecating thoughts, mc is lowkey in denial.

The sounds of pots clanging and raised voices woke you from your peaceful slumber, bleary eyes blinking slowly at the light coming in from the window. You stared thoughtlessly at the dust particles floating around the room for a few moments before your memories from the night before came crashing back. Despite the shower you took, it still felt like his hands and mouth were on your skin marking you, tainting you. Shakily, you sat up in an attempt to distract yourself. Don’t let it get to you. You picked your phone up to check any notifications, freezing when you saw what time it was.

Shit. You were so distracted you forgot to set your alarm last night.

Scrambling around your room, you grabbed a few things to get ready before booking it for the door. In your haste to get to the upstairs bathroom, you found yourself colliding with a sturdy figure standing right outside your door.

“Woah, slow down there, YN.” You looked up to see Namjoon studying you with wide eyes.

“Sorry, I overslept.” You explained, trying to side-step him before he grabbed your arm to stop you.

“I already called your office and let them know you were taking a sick day. I didn’t think it would be a good idea for you to go today.” His deep voice explained so clearly, and yet you could only stare at him dumbfounded.

“Y-you called my office? Why would you do that?” You couldn’t help the confusion bleeding into your tone.

“I’m sorry, I know it was probably invasive of me to do that but I was just worried about you. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling after last night and I don’t want you to stress yourself out with work right now.”

“I... don’t even know what to say.” You’re not even sure how you feel right now, your mind already a jumble and this only adding to the pile.

“Why don’t you go wash up and come meet us in the kitchen? Breakfast should be ready by then.” He proposes, a strong hand meeting your shoulder and lightly pushing you towards where the stairs are. You numbly follow directions, feeling undermined in some way.

As you’re brushing your teeth, your mind can’t help but wander. Namjoon’s intentions seem to be good but it still feels violating the way he meddled in your life like that. Although, maybe it wasn’t just his doing. These boys seem to operate like a pack mind, always on the same page about stuff. If they hadn’t been so welcoming, you would have definitely felt like an outsider. On top of everything they had already done for you, they had really taken care of you last night. You don’t know where you would be right now if they hadn’t rescued you.

But, this feels like crossing a line. Even if you had missed work today with no warning, that is your problem. Not theirs. You appreciate them always being there for you but you would need to make it clear that there needs to be boundaries in this friendship.

You quickly wash and dry your face, eager to get down there and get this conversation over. It was still morning - maybe you could still try to come into work for a half day. Your stomach twists at the thought of Jiwan’s reaction to you coming in late. Or would she not say anything to you after yesterday?

Walking into the kitchen, your eyes land on a scene you have become quite accustomed to this past month. Yoongi was stirring something in a pot, brushing Namjoon’s hand off when he tried to suggest adding another ingredient. The first one to notice you is Seokjin, who is setting plates out on the table. His face brightens at the sight of you, full lips stretching into a heart-wrenching smile.

“Good morning, YNie. How do you feel?”

“Alright.” The word slips out without thought, your mind focused on something else entirely. “Namjoon, can I speak to you for a moment?”

“After you eat.” His tone leaves no room for argument, bringing a jug of water over to the table and motioning at one of the seats. “Sit.”

You feel your resolve slowly wither away at the sight of his back turned to you, as if he’s not worried about you following his instructions or not. That sense of authority in him irks you but you find yourself sitting anyway with a huff.

Soon after you are seated, Yoongi brings the pot to the center of the table. You can’t deny that the stew he made looks and smells delicious, the steam wafting out enticing you even more. Looking up at the others, you can’t help but notice Seokjin walking to the fridge with a small limp. You thought you had noticed it ever since he came back from his work trip, but weren’t sure if you were imagining things. At this point, it feels too awkward to bring up. Before you can linger on it too long, Namjoon’s voice distracts you.

“I think I know what you want to talk to me about. You’re feeling like I overstepped with your job.” He begins, filling a healthy serving of stew into a bowl before placing it in front of you. You’re stunned for a moment, feeling like he stole your argument before you could even voice it to him so you just nod. “It was out of line, I realize that and I’m sorry.”

He pauses and his eyes linger on your face before looking down at your bowl and back at you. Tentatively, you pick up your spoon and begin eating. He seems pleased at this, a small smile forming on his lips.

“I’ll admit I’m a bit overprotective of the people I care about, these two can attest to that.” Namjoon continues, dimples appearing in his cheeks as he chuckles at their eyerolls. “It’s all coming from a good place, I hope you know that. But, I promise it won’t happen again.”

You meet his eyes dead-on, a serious expression taking over his face as you do. The room falls silent in the midst of your staring contest, the others watching you two carefully before you finally speak up.

“I accept your apology.” It’s all you can think to say, not necessarily wanting to say that it was okay because it wasn’t. His gaze lingers on your face so you begin eating to avoid saying more, shifting your gaze back to the table.

After that, Seokjin makes attempts at light conversation, you and Namjoon humoring him with a few responses here and there. You’re not surprised that Yoongi never says a word, the introverted male was known to be quiet in most group settings. You can’t help but look back and forth at him and Namjoon sitting side by side, the image of them standing over that guy in the dark alley coming back into your mind. Had they killed him? And now here they were having breakfast with you as if it was a regular morning. They had done it to protect you, but did that make them better than that guy?

Mind swarming with thoughts of right and wrong and still feeling Namjoon’s dark eyes watching, you knew you had to get out of here. You needed to separate yourself from their mind games so you could think clearly. Just the other day you were calling these men your friends and now you couldn’t wait to get away from them. The irony of the situation was not lost on you.

“That was delicious, Yoongi. Thank you.” Gathering your dishes, you bring them over to the sink, ignoring the stares as you go. Your ears perk up at their hushed conversation but it’s too low to hear over the running water. When you’re finished, you turn to head back into the hallway with a meaningful step.

“Where are you going?” Namjoon calls out, but you can tell by his tone he probably already knows.

“Work.”

At your exit, the other boys look at Namjoon with concern on their faces. He raises his hand at them with a serious expression as if to silence them, his eyes never leaving where your figure was last seen in the doorway.

“Are we losing her?” Yoongi can’t stop himself from asking, his normally-aloof persona cracking.

“No, I don’t believe so.” Namjoon’s low voice is strong and sure of himself, “She’s slipping. I can see it.”

*****

In your haste to get out of there, you had barely taken the time to make yourself presentable. Throwing on whatever looked decent enough and remembering to pack your heels, you took one glance in the mirror before calling it. You didn’t even care that you weren’t wearing makeup and you hoped it would work in your favor since your apparent ‘sickness’ was the reason you couldn’t come in this morning.

Stepping outside, you looked up at the overcast sky that was a stark contrast from the previous bright sunny days. There was a certain mugginess in the air that told you a storm was approaching, not that uncommon for this time of year. You made a mental note to pick up an umbrella later as you power-walked to the bus stop. Part of you wanted to just give in and call a cab but the stress from your mother’s recent call wouldn’t allow you to do it. With the way taxi rates were going these days, you’d probably end up spending whatever money you had left over for the month on the fare alone.

Upon entering your floor, you were instantly reminded of the way you had left the previous day as a few stared at you with raised brows. Still, you held your head high as you made your way to your desk in an attempt to not let it get to you. And for the most part it didn’t, until you walked by a small table with Jiwan and a few other co-workers. You averted your gaze, making a beeline to your desk.

“I thought you were sick.” Jiwan’s sharp eyes were fixed on you, utter detest in her stare.

You didn’t bother to respond or even look back, instead settling into your desk and turning your computer on. In a rather pointed way, you dug through your purse to retrieve a face mask you kept in there. Huffing, you pulled it over your face and focused your attention back on starting work. There, now shut the fuck up.

Nayeon arrived at some point, much to your surprise, seemingly done with her busy week of meetings. She seemed just as taken aback to see you if her wide-eyed look said anything, probably not expecting you to come in as well since you were supposed to be sick. You perked up at the sight of her, hoping it would entice her to come over and say hello. Someone with a stack of papers intercepted her, though, and she quickly invited them to her office to continue the conversation. Sighing dejectedly, you returned your attention to your queue. Hopefully you’d catch her later today.

Hours ticked by and you found yourself almost done with your work despite your late start. Leaning back in a stretch, your eyes fell back on Nayeon’s closed office door. This wasn’t super uncommon for a work day as she had an even busier schedule than you, being one of the head executives of the company. But, even still, she’d usually pop by your desk to invite you for a cup of coffee when you both needed a break or at the very least would wave at you from across the room if she was heading to the conference room for a meeting.

Sure, you could have just worked up the courage to go to her office but for some reason you were getting the impression that she was avoiding you. She had barely left her office and when she did, she wouldn’t look up from her phone as she fast-walked to whatever room she was headed to.

Checking the time, you figured you had time to kill before the day was over so you got up to grab a drink. The kitchen was empty when you entered so you were left with your own thoughts as you grabbed a disposable cup for tea. Holding it under the hot water dispenser to fill, you caught someone else joining the room from your peripheral vision.

“Looking for your bestie?” You didn’t even have to turn your head to know who it was, bracing yourself for the incoming unpleasant encounter. “She’s not here.”

“What?”

“I saw you looking at her office before. You must have missed her leaving when you were busy trying to figure out how to make an excel sheet.” The snide remark leaves her mouth so perfectly it had to have been practiced. “It looked to me like she was avoiding you. Maybe she finally realized how much of a burden you are.”

You turned to her fully now, gripping the cup in your hand so tight you’re surprised it didn’t burst. Her gaze flickers to the crinkling paper in your first, the corner of her mouth quivering in amusement.

“What? Can’t handle a little criticism?” She mockingly pouts, “I’m just trying to help you, honey.”

Just like that, your strong exterior crumbles and memories of your attacker come flooding back in. Hands gripping you, tugging at your hair and clothes, lips brushing your skin and teeth biting down. That word triggers something inside of you, a feeling so dark and twisted it had to have been buried so deep that you forgot it was even there. All you know now is you’re seeing red and Jiwan is suddenly standing too close.

A pained shriek is what breaks you out of the daze you had suddenly fallen under, blinking in confusion as you see Jiwan still standing there with a big wet stain on her shirt that you didn’t notice before. Then, your gaze shifts to the angry red marks forming on her exposed chest and neck area and finally, to the empty cup in your grasp.

“FUCK!” You can’t help but wince at the loud screech and wait for the inevitable crowd to come join you both. They do and you find yourself backing away, a shaky hand throwing the cup in the trash as if that would save your ass now. “You crazy bitch!”

Jiwan is gasping in pain as the others are surrounding her in concern and you briefly wonder if she’s playing up the theatrics to get more sympathy. You wouldn’t put it past her. With all the attention on her, you slowly start to back up towards the exit hoping you could slip away undetected.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Jiwan’s poisonous gaze tracks you moving towards the door, wide with a vengeful fury. “Come back here!”

A few of your co-workers try stopping you or asking what’s wrong as you make a beeline for the stairs, not even bothering to wait for the elevator. You’re surprised you don’t trip as you fly down the several flights of stairs, your chest heaving painfully in a panic. When you finally make it to the bottom and bust out the door, you stumble onto the sidewalk as a wave of nausea comes over you. You barely have time to find an empty alleyway to spill your guts into, the events of the last few minutes catching up to you before you can even process.

It was too much. It was all too much.

*****

You had been wandering the city streets for hours, trying to figure out what to do. You were for sure fired, there was no doubt about it. Your phone had been buzzing on and off in your purse for a while but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at it, scared to see who it was from. Heart racing and hands shaking, you leaned against a nearby brick wall to catch your bearings. People were milling about, probably leaving work and heading home or going out to celebrate the weekend being here. To think, that could be you right now if you had just kept your emotions in check.

If only you had listened to your mother, maybe you wouldn’t be in this position right now. You should have paid attention to the signs. She told you to let her know if those feelings started coming back. You were too lost in your need to prove yourself that you could do this and that you weren’t the same person before. Now, you know. That anger lived inside you forever.

A shuffling behind you caused you to turn and look at the alley behind you. You caught a flurry of movement that was gone before you could really register it, too distracted by your own thoughts. Stepping away from the alley and walking back towards the busy streets, you found yourself humorlessly chuckling to yourself. Namjoon had been right. It really wasn’t a good time for you to come in to work today.

At some point, your phone had started buzzing incessantly, much to your annoyance. In a huff, you pulled it out to finally turn it off, not wanting to be bothered by anyone right now. But, when you caught the name on the called ID, you paused.

“Jihoon?”

“YN! Where the fuck are you?” Your boyfriend’s voice was rushed and out-of-breath.

“Um,” You looked around at your surroundings, not recognizing any buildings. “I’m not really sure.”

“You haven’t been answering your phone! I was so worried, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been a bit distracted.” Your voice sounds strange to your ears, mind processing things a bit slower. “Where are you?”

“I’m at your place. Can you meet me?” He speaks clearly to you, trying to keep you talking to him. “Get a taxi if you can.”

“I can’t afford it.”

“I’ll pay. Just get here as soon as you can.”

Your mind let your body go on autopilot as you found yourself hailing a cab. After telling the driver the address, you stared out the window as the buildings and city lights passed in a blur. You looked up at the sky, noting the dark clouds hovering ominously.

The ride was over before you knew it, the man in the driver’s seat looking at you expectantly as you tried to remember how you were going to pay him. Before you could say anything, you door was ripped open and your boyfriend’s face appeared there. In the same move, he pulled you out and handed the man some cash. You stood there, looking up at him in surprise. Jihoon had never been to your place before. Seeing him here was strange for some reason.

“Nayeon told me everything. God, you must have been so freaked out.” He pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as you stood there limp. You couldn’t speak, too frozen by his words.

“I had no idea you were feeling this way again. Why didn’t you tell me?” He leaned back to look down at you, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“I-” You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing could come out. Your mind just felt blank.

“Come on, let’s go get your things. You’re staying with me tonight.”

Jihoon led you back inside and the situation felt so funny to you. He walked up the stairs as if he knew his way around the place, arm over your shoulder as if he was showing you the way. You were too busy looking at the side of his face to notice the person standing in the hallway watching you both.

“YN.” You looked up to see Jungkook with an unreadable expression on his face. It was the most serious look you had ever seen on him.

“Jungkook?” The surrealness of the situation was slowly sobering you up, feeling as if you were coming out of the daze you had been in earlier. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t respond and Jihoon didn’t care to wait, instead ushering you along past your roommate whose eyes were glued to the arm around your back. When you reached your door, you peeked at your boyfriend curiously to gauge his reaction to the place. His gaze swept across the dimly lit corridor showcasing the walls and floors that looked like they hadn’t been cleaned in years. You had gotten used to living here but for some reason, under your boyfriend’s judgemental eye, you felt embarrassed.

“Why don’t you wait in the kitchen? I’ll be quick,” You angle your head further down the hallway, not wanting him to see the tiny quarters you called your room. He probably thought you were crazy living here. Maybe you were.

He looks unsure for a moment, whether he didn’t want to leave you alone or he himself didn’t want to be alone you didn’t know. But he eventually agreed, nodding before turning back in the direction you motioned to.

You weren’t lying when you said you would be quick. Something about your boyfriend wandering around in this place put you on edge, like you didn’t want him to see anything he shouldn’t. Grabbing as many clean clothes as you can, you shove them into a bag before picking up a few other essentials. You avoided looking in the mirror by your door, not wanting to see your reflection after this day. You already knew you looked like a wreck.

The silence that met you when you came out of your room irked you. Speed walking to the kitchen with your bags in hand and a racing heart, you didn’t know what to expect but it surely wasn’t what you found.

Jihoon was sitting at one of the tables, a cup of tea before him and a few of your other roommates sitting with him. Jimin, Taehyung, and Yoongi all crowded around him looking as if they were parents meeting their daughter’s boyfriend for the first time. Something stirred in your chest seeing them all sitting together. Your worlds were colliding and you didn’t know how you felt about it.

“There you are.” The smile on Jimin’s face didn’t quite meet his eyes as he beckoned you over. “We were just getting to know Jihoon here.”

You walked over to them, timidly taking the seat beside Jihoon whose face was hard to read. He seemed mostly calm, but his eyes were betraying his emotions as they darted back and forth to all your roommates. He was probably trying to read them, just like they were doing to him.

“Y’know it’s funny, YN hasn’t mentioned you much.” Taehyung broke the silence, reaching for a sugar cube from the tray and popping it into his mouth.

“Tae,” You looked at him with wide eyes, willing him to shut his mouth to which he only widened his own eyes back mockingly before sending you a playful grin.

“No, it’s okay.” Jihoon turned to look at you with a small smile before directing his attention back to Taehyung. “She hasn’t mentioned you guys at all.”

“Probably because you don’t spend enough time with her.” Yoongi shot back, causing your jaw to drop. Since when did he pay attention to your lovelife? You shook your head, looking at Jihoon whose calm facade was starting to break.

“Excuse me?”

“What my roommate here is trying to say is that we’ve gotten close with YN during her time here and it appears that you don’t really know how to take care of her.” Your eyebrows raise at this, feeling like you should step in but wanting to see what Jihoon would do.

“You’ve known my girlfriend for a month and you think you know what she needs?” Jihoon responds defensively, shifting in his seat.

“Is that surprising? We spend more time with her than you do. She’s lived here for a month now and this is the first time I’m seeing you here.” The playful look on Taehyung’s face from before is gone now, replaced with a dark expression taking over his features.

“You know what-” Jihoon stands up, clenching his fists. The other three quickly mirror him, you right behind them. You step closer to Jihoon, grabbing his shirt in an attempt to ground him.

“C’mon, let’s just go.” Jihoon breaks his staredown with them to look down at you and the shakiness in your vision. Whatever he saw makes him concede, reaching down to grip the hand on his shirt and hold it tightly. He pulls the two of you out of the room, grabbing your bags and not bothering to look back.

You risk a glance over your shoulder to see the three of them gazing at you with somber faces, their burning stares causing you to quickly turn back around. You can’t exactly pinpoint what emotion you felt from leaving them - was it shame? Fear? Sadness?

“I don’t want you staying here anymore.” Jihoon says flatly once the two of you exit the building, slipping his phone out of his pocket to book a taxi.

“Where else can I go? This was all I could afford, and now...” You couldn’t even bring yourself to finish that sentence. What would you tell your mother? She was depending on you for money and you most likely just lost your income.

“We’ll figure it out. For now, you can stay at my place until you get back on your feet.” Jihoon almost sounds like he’s trying to convince himself that it will work and you look at him skeptically.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a burden,” You murmur, fingers curling around his arm.

“You’re not a burden. I’m your boyfriend, I’m supposed to take care of you.” You’re silent as you ponder over his words. He is acting a lot more thoughtful and considerate than usual.

When the taxi arrives, Jihoon opens the door to let you in before sliding in after you. He squeezes your palm in assurance, causing you to look down at your entwined hands and notice how strange they suddenly looked together. The two of you had held hands countless times but right now, it just felt so alien. That thought scared you because Jihoon was supposed to be the one person in the city you felt safest with.

You feel an urge to tell him what almost happened to you last night. He’s your boyfriend so you should tell him, right? It would be weird to keep it from him. But, before you can open your mouth to voice it, he breaks the silence.

“Nayeon’s meeting us there.” Jihoon’s words cause you to look at him in surprise, his eyes trained on his phone screen that he was tapping away at.

“You told her?” You shrank back, a strange feeling pooling in your gut that you tried to ignore.

“She was worried about you.” He finally looked up at you, tucking his phone into his pocket and leaning back with a sigh.

Your anxious mind distracts you for the rest of the car ride before you find yourself in Jihoon’s neighborhood. Once outside his apartment, you realize you have never seen his place before. Before you can think too much on it, you notice Nayeon making her way over from further down the sidewalk.

“There you guys are!” Nayeon’s voice calls out, earning a few stares from other people standing on the sidewalk near you. Her slender legs carry her over to where you both are in no time. You could only stare as she fussed with her purse for a moment before sliding her hands into her air with a huff. “God, YN, you sure have some explaining to do.”

“I-”

“I mean I know I told you I was proud of you for going off on her before but damn... I didn’t think you would do this.” She paused to give you a wide-eyed look, causing you to drop your gaze to your ground. “What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking. She was always in my face and I don’t know, I just... snapped.” It would be so easy to just tell them what happened last night and maybe then they would understand your current state of mind. But for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to say it - not wanting to deal with their worried looks or impending questions. Upon noticing your averted gaze, Jihoon reaches for your hand again and squeezes it comfortingly. You shoot him a thankful smile, stepping closer to him.

Nayeon’s eyes are trained on your joined hands, looking deep in thought as she speaks again, “Are you going back to the residence tonight, YN?”

“No, I don’t think I’ll be going back there for some time.”

“I didn’t like the vibe of that place.” Jihoon adds, shaking his head. “I can’t believe you stayed there that long.”

“They weren’t always that bad. I mean, we were actually friends at one point but lately it feels like I’ve seen another side to them.” You explain, feeling their eyes urging you to continue. “I should have listened to Soomi when she warned me. There’s just something off about them.”

“Are you sure you’re not just being sensitive, you know, after everything?” Nayeon asks, raising her eyebrow curiously. “I mean, you’ve been so stressed with work and moving to a new city can make you feel that way. I feel like every residence has its case of bad roommates.”

“I don’t have anything to compare it to but something just feels wrong. I feel like they’re getting under my skin.”

“Well, where will you stay then?”

“With me.” Jihoon answers.

“Really?” Nayeon seemed surprised at that, gaze switching to Jihoon. “Don’t you have roommates?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think they’ll mind.” At his shrug, Nayeon seems unconvinced.

“Don’t you think it’ll be a bit crowded? I mean, after the time YN’s had, I think she’d probably want some peace.” Nayeon spoke, bringing her hand to her chin in thought. “Why don’t you stay in a hotel for a couple days, YN? At least until you find a better place to move in.”

You missed the way Jihoon leveled her with a look as you stared at her thoughtfully. “I mean it would be nice but I can’t really afford it right now.”

“I’ll pay.” She responds without hesitation.

“Are you sure?” Now, you were really confused. Why was she so adamant about you staying in a hotel? Maybe she was just really worried for your wellbeing.

“Of course.” She smiles at you warmly, reaching forward to grasp your arm and pull you toward her. In doing so, your hand is ripped from Jihoon’s but she doesn’t seem to notice. “You deserve some time to yourself to reflect on what to do next.”

“I don’t know how to thank you,” You murmur, feeling guilty for causing her so much trouble when she was the one who helped get you in this position after all. Why couldn’t you just keep your emotions in check?

“No need. Let’s get you somewhere comfortable.”

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A/N: i know i said this would be here before the wknd but i underestimated how exhausted my new job would be. so here it is finally *unedited* bc i worked over 50hrs this week and i’m slightly hungover🥴 lmk what you think pls!!

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