#Literally heard someone say they didn’t realise they were allergic to cats until they didn’t live with one

[sneezarify]

ok, this is getting to me badly.

Person a recognises they’re sneezy, they know sneeze more than average… maybe they get teased about it etc. However, they never realised that their constant itch and irritation is due to the fact they’re allergic to cats/dogs etc until they move out of their family home because, well, they’ve always had pets!

[kimnamjooonz]

London Calling - Chapter 4

Hey Bucky

Introducing in this chapter: 

This man:

And this one:

Songs used in this chapter: 

Hey Jude - The Beatles

London, December 2016

Another day in the office. The only good thing of that day was that it was Friday. However, Celine wasn’t in her best mood. Work was monotonous, to say the least and she was frustrated with her investigation: she seemed to be going nowhere. It was a week before Christmas holidays which was a relief. Even though Celine had never celebrated Christmas, and this year was not going to be an exception, she was looking forward for the free days even if they involved Matilde decorating the house in a manner that Celine found distasteful. Everything Christmassy was awful to her. She was mumbling one of those pop songs that Matilde listened to and Celine didn’t know the name while finally leaving the office. She just wanted to sleep through all the weekend. ‘’Hey, hey hey’’ she heard Matilde’s voice calling her. She had the biggest smile on her face. ‘’I have the best news to tell you. I’ll tell you on the way’’ she pulled Celine by her sleeve. ‘’The way to were?’’ Celine asked, not understanding a thing of what Matilde wanted to tell her. ‘’Let me tell you the story first’’ she followed Matilde wherever she wanted to go. ‘’Do you remember my aunt Francisca?’’ ‘’How can I forget her. She lives right next our door’’ Matilde’s aunt had quite an interesting love life that the girls couldn’t fail to see. She and her Georgie were quite the couple. ‘’Well, she made up her mind. She’s leaving to Chicago next week with his super rich boyfriend. Georgie, of course. Hell, he’s like twenty years younger than her’’ even though the gossip was fun, Celine didn’t know where the story involved her. ‘’And…?’’ ‘’Well…’’ Matilde’s smile grew bigger. ‘’She asked me if you’re still interested in acquiring a house in London because she’s selling hers. If she contacts a real estate agency the process will take a lot of time but if she sells it to you, you’ll have a house by next week.’’ Celine stopped to think. That was too good to be true. ‘’You’ll get a house for a quarter of the normal price. My aunt just wants to sell it quickly. In common circumstances, a nice house in Chelsea is unaffordable.’’ Celine knew all about that. She had been looking for affordable places to live that weren’t the size of a shoe box and she had not been lucky. Until now, that she was about to get a pretty house in Chelsea for less than half the price. She wanted to send flowers to Georgie and Francisca. ‘’Tell me we’re on the way to meet her right now’’ Celine was literally jumping with excitement. ‘’Of course, miss’’

Two hours later they were at the Pig Ear, Matilde’s favourite pub, celebrating. Celine was so happy that she was in the mood for a pint of beer even if she knew she’d have to deal with the drunkness afterwards. Damn the alcohol intolerance. There was a band playing covers of The Beatles and Celine was singing in a low voice while she finished with the beer. Matilde was already drinking her fourth pint. ‘’You’ll miss my Chris Evans picture’’ ‘’Yeah, I feel the heartbreak already’’ Celine said with sarcasm. As much as she loved Matilde, she was happy to get her own place, at last. She wanted to have a cat, something she couldn’t do with Matilde who was allergic. And not having to look at that Evans guy picture every day was a bonus. When Celine realised that she was singing louder than before knew that it was time to go. She didn’t want to end up singing on the tables, like one embarrassing time in Cambridge. ‘’I thought you were never going to finish’’ she had drank five pints and was really tipsy. On the way back was doing a weird sort of dance while singing a very out of tune version of Hey Jude. ‘’Hey Jude… don’t make it bad… take a sad song and make it better REMEMBER to let her into your heart… then you can start to make it better’’ Some verses later both of them were shouting the lyrics. ‘’… REMEMBER TO LET HER UNDER YOUR SKIN THEN YOU CAN START TO MAKE IT BETTER, BETTER, BETTER, AGGHH NANANANANANA HEY JUDE’’ They were attracting glances from the people on the street but for once Celine didn’t care. She was too happy. Stumbling, both of them got into the house. ‘’I think I’m drunk’’ said Matilde crashed on the couch and turned on the TV ‘’Celine, look, Captain America: The Winter Soldier is on’’. Celine glanced at the screen where there was a guy with blue eyes and long hair who was apparently being under some sort of torture. Celine was seeing double so she didn’t look at the screen for so long. ‘’That’s Bucky Barnes played by the brilliant Sebastian Stan. Very handsome as you can see. I’d sell my soul just for a taste of him’’ Celine laughed. Not even drunk she would think things like that about a fictional character. ‘’I leave you in his company. I’m going to bed before I can’t climb the stairs’’ She laughed again when she saw Matilde hugging the air, probably imagining it was that Becky guy. Or Bucky or whatever his godforsaken name was. Laughing, she crashed in her bad and fell asleep.

Somewhere in New York, at the same exact time.

‘’Sebastian, darling, you auditioned for this role, which is very big and now you don’t want to take it’’. Sebastian was in a reunion with his agent who was trying to convince him to take a role he had auditioned for a couple of months ago. It was the lead role for an important production. ‘’I told you before’’ he complained ‘’I don’t want to go abroad for eight months, it’s crazy’’ this was only one of the reasons for his reluctance. ‘’It’s just six months. Take this chance. It’ll boost your career’’. ‘’I don’t know anyone there. And I don’t want to live in a hotel for eight months. Think about that, Emily, it’s crazy’’. ‘’Six months, Sebastian. And you don’t have to live in a hotel. I know that some of your Marvel buddies live there so you can stay with them’’. Sebastian was horrified with imagining living six months with someone like Tom Holland. He wouldn’t last a week. ‘’But I don’t know anything about the background history of the movie’’ he was desperately trying to find some reasons. ‘’There are books about it, I know you like to read. If not, the Wikipedia is always there’’. Sebastian was frustrated. Emily always had a solution to everything. It was literally impossible to win an argument against her. ‘’What if I need to see my therapist or my personal trainer?’’ Emily was doing her best to remain patient. Sebastian could be difficult sometimes. ‘’There are therapists, personal trainers, restaurants, parks, fire fighters, doctors, politicians… everything you want, Sebastian’’. He was running out of reasons and to be honest, he didn’t know why he was saying no. It was a big chance and he had left home for long periods of time before. It wasn’t as if he had someone to tie him to New York, apart from his mother. He didn’t even have a girlfriend as his last one had left him many months ago. No, the real reason was that he was insecure about the role being too big for him. ‘’Sebastian’’ Emily was looking at him with a serious but kind expression ‘’You know I want the best for you. And this role is. Take this chance, you won’t regret it’’. She was right, he had to admit it. And he had been chosen for this role for a reason. If he did it well, he’d career would take a boost. If he did it bad, well, he still had a nine movie contract with Marvel so he won’t be unemployed. ‘’Suppose that I’m doing this, when do I leave?’’ ‘’Next year. From March to September’’. Being serious, the idea wasn’t so bad. He’ll meet new people, at least. Who knew what would happen. ‘’Okay I’ll do it’’ Emily smiled, relieved, and gave him the contract. Without thinking it twice, he stamped his signature on the contract.

Chelsea, London.

Celine suddenly woke up after a weird dream. There was a wolf in it. Damn alcohol, she always had weird dreams whenever she drank. Once she had dreamed that she was a mermaid. She didn’t even like mermaids in the first place. ‘’I need tea’’ she mumbled to the empty room. Downstairs, Matilde had fallen asleep on the couch hugging a pillow. Celine tried not to laugh. The Captain America film was still playing. Celine could tell that because she recognised the long haired guy from before. It was either a really long film or it had a sequel. In silence she drank a cup of herbal tea while watching the TV. There were a lot of people with weird costumes fighting each other in an airport. Celine had no idea what was this about. She had got lost with the scene even though she had no idea what was going on. When her eyelids started to drop she started her way back to bed again ‘’I knew that deep inside you liked these films’’ Matilde spoke from behind her back. ‘’Yes, I was mesmerised by Becky’’ Celine said with sarcasm. ‘’It’s Bucky’’ she tried to stand up for the couch but ended up on the floor. Celine helped her to stand up not before laughing at loud. Not saying a single word Matilde fell asleep on the couch. Taking all the time in world she went back to her room. She couldn’t fall asleep again because she had the strange feeling that something was going to change by some reason she was unaware of. She related these thoughts with the alcohol consumption or maybe with the fact that she was going to get a permanent place to live. And a good one. Tomorrow is going to be a good day, she thought. There was nothing to worry about.

Manhattan, New York.

When Anthony arrived to his friend Sebastian’s place he found him next to the big window in his living room, in a phone conversation with someone and listening to Celine Dion at full volume. Anthony had no idea what was on Sebastian’s mind. Maybe this was a weird technique to get into character for his next role. Or he was being his usual melodramatic self. It was a challenge not to laugh, he looked ready to be in an Adele music video. ‘’…I’ll miss you to but I’m not leaving yet, I leave the second week of March of next year’’ he was saying. Anthony wondered where he was leaving. ‘’Mom, I’m sorry but I can’t go to spend Christmas with you, I’ll be in Atlanta… no, mom, I promise I’ll see you before I leave… bye… love you’’ He hung up and finally focused on Anthony. ‘’What on earth is happening to you?’’ Anthony asked him. ‘’What’s wrong?’’ Sebastian looked around, trying to find something out of normality. ‘’You look like you’ve made the worst mistake of your life and you’re listening to Celine Dion like a dramatic fool!’’ ‘’What’s wrong?’’ he asked again. ‘’I like Celine. But you’re right, I think I’ve made a mistake’’. He looked quite thoughtful. Anthony just wanted to hear the whole story. After a while he started talking. ‘’Look, I got the lead role for a huge movie that I think it’s too big for me. Apart from that I have to go abroad for like eight months and if that wasn’t enough I have to do a lot of research that I’m seriously planning to leave for the last minute’’. Anthony waited until Sebastian finished his rant to ask all the questions he had in his mind. ‘’When you say ‘abroad’ where are you exactly going? You sound as if they’re sending you to Siberia’’. ‘’Just London’’ Anthony couldn’t believe it. All of this drama because he was going to London. Not the Sahara desert or the North Pole or the Amazonia. Just London. ‘’What’s wrong with London? You’ll have to pull a perfect accent?’’ Sebastian just nodded. ‘’Good luck with that’’ he tried again not to laugh. ‘’You can talk and talk to Hiddleston. Sooner or later you’ll end up talking like him’’. Sebastian shot him a death glare. ‘’Don’t get mad, man, you were casted for a reason now go there and do your job. They’ll pay you pretty well so stop complaining. Who knows what’s expecting you in London’’. Sebastian had to admit that Anthony was right. Not that he was doing this for the money, he just loved acting but he was just scared, like any normal person. ‘’Why don’t we go out?’’ Anthony proposed. ‘’To a pub or somewhere else. Maybe you can meet someone’’. ‘’Not in the mood, sorry’’ Sebastian was still looking at the roof with an unreadable expression. Anthony’s patience was running out. He wanted to shake Sebastian by the shoulders and shout at him to pull himself together, that he was good enough for the role. ‘’You’re never in the mood. Haven’t you been alone too long?’’ ‘’Just some months and I’m perfectly fine with it’’ he was being totally honest. ‘’And in three months I’m leaving to Britain and I don’t want to leave anyone behind, I feel guilty enough of leaving my mom already’’ ‘’Do me a favour, Sebastian’’ Anthony was looking at him with a serious expression ‘’When you’re in London don’t isolate yourself. Go and talk to someone. A nice girl in coffee shop, someone that’s sitting beside you on the tube, an old woman in a park, I mean, anyone, whoever you want to. Who knows who you’ll end up meeting’’ ‘’The love of my freaking life’’ Sebastian said with all the sarcasm he could muster. Anthony just couldn’t stand him anymore.

P.S I relate to Celine. The girl got a house. In THIS economy. 

And I spent all day laughing at Rami Malek falling at the Oscars. I know I shouldn’t have but it was just too good.

And finally Sebastian made his entrance in this story. 

[bigbirdfics]

Nisa & Harry Part I

Dear Harry.

Scratch that.

Harry. No.

Dear Harry,

Fuck.

Harry,

I’m sorry I screwed up.

I’m sorry I screwed us up. It wasn’t meant to be that way. Actually, I don’t know. You know I don’t believe in “meant-to-be’s”.

My mum told me this story, about why we put marriage rings on the left ring finger. You probably know it. You’re fed up with these kinds of stories. Anyways, she told me there was an invisible red cord (how can it be invisible and red at the same time? I asked her then -- she shushed me) that went from our hearts to our left ring fingers, and when we put a ring on it, the red cord would be attached to our partner’s cord forever. That’s why we get married once, she said. (Also, I told you she’s been married three times, yeah?) It’s creepy, I think.

Or scary, you would say. To be tied to someone. It makes it so much more difficult to cut contact, you know? To break the bond.

I don’t know why I’m still writing this e-mail.

You’ll never receive it.

You know I don’t believe in meant-to-be.

Even with you.

*

Five months before.

(Or, Month One - September)

Harry

It had happened this afternoon, as I was sitting on the couch with her resting on my chest and me stroking her short blond hair mindlessly. She’d sniffed and I looked down at the sudden noise coming from her, as she’d been so still the whole time we’d been sitting on our damn couch. And then, never looking at me, still staring at the turned off telly, she’d said it. I think we should break up. My ears started to buzz and my whole body stilled, my own lungs forgetting how to function for a moment, relishing in that stillness. She’d sat up straighter then, taking the wrist of my hand that was still resting on her hair to put it away from her. Suddenly, she had felt ten meters away, not centimeters. I’m breaking up with you, Harry, she repeated. As if she needed too, as if my body reaction wasn’t proof enough that I had heard her. My throat dried up, but I had still managed a word: why? That’s when she had stood up, a big heavy sigh leaving her lips before she started one of her infamous monologue. She didn’t feel it between us anymore, I couldn’t procure her with what was awaiting in her life next. She felt a need to grow that I couldn’t procure, and my dreams were crushing hers. Bringing hers down with mine.

Those words were the hammer to the glass-shaped heart my fundamental organ had become. When she had finally finished her speech, destroying me with each words, she had asked me to leave. So, still without saying a word, I had gone to our bedroom, hers now, took most of what was mine in a big fabric travel bag, strapped my guitar on my back and closed the front door behind me. It had took fifteen minutes for the uber to take me to Reilly’s flat, two to go up the stairs and ten seconds to knock on his door.

Later that day, after I had told Reilly everything and barely eaten the dinner he’d made me, he called Ian. Ian, who told Reilly he would come straight away and whisk me out into the night to get me smashed. That’s how Ian and I had found ourselves at some shitty bar that wasn’t where Reilly worked. Rei had made us promise not to cost him his job and Ian was pretty sure me being drunk and heartbroken would have done the trick. So we’d gone to the next best place. This no name’s bar had cheap alcohol that got the job done quick. The ground and counter were both slightly sticky and the walls and every furniture pieces were dark enough to make it even harder to see anything with the dim lighting. The music playing was as mellow as my mood. My vision was fuzzy but as unfocused as my head was, it took it too much effort trying to bend my broken heart to do any other work. So, my vision was blurred and my hearing seemed out of sorts, every sound pounding in my ears.

And, God, it hurt in my heart.

“It hurts in my heart.”

It wasn’t that much of a strange thing to think to say, considering I was heartbroken. I’d never thought it would literally hurt in my heart.  But the thing was squeezing, ripping into shreds, and contorting into a shape that is not a heart, but rather in some sort of nothingness.

And then it hurt behind my head.

“Ow, what the fuck Ian?” I said wincing, patting behind my head to try and sooth the pain.

Ian was sitting besides me at the bar counter, nursing a rum and coke similar to my own. Except his wasn’t empty.

“Stop being so melodramatic, Harry. You look like a pile of shit,” he scoffed, taking a sip of his drink, his eyes flitting behind my head. He winked. Probably to a girl standing not too far behind me.

I sighed, “Thanks. I think I’m drunk.”

His eyes came back to my face, half squished on my hand supported by the counter. He scoffed, “I know you’re drunk, you’re metamorphosing into some sort of shitty poet. Of course you’re drunk.”

I was. Very drunk. Especially because I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol all the time I was dating Liz. She was good at that, making you do things you didn’t really want to do. Like banning alcohol for instance, or quit bad foods, or become a vegan when you were allergic to legumes.  But there was this thing about Elizabeth. It was that light in her eyes.

Anyways, I was so drunk I don’t remember anything until I was climbing the security stairs from Reilly’s flat. When I climbed through the window that night, banging my head on the wood, wincing like a baby, and breaking some sort of cat ornament I didn’t know existed, I didn’t know it’d be such a hassle in the morning. Granted, I even walked in the dark, took my coat, shirt, and boots off and laid down on the couch (that I thought was supposed to face the other way), for a well-deserved rest. Maybe Reilly had done some redecorating after Ian and I had gone, never knew with him. It didn’t occur to me, not once, how a little grey ball of a kitten could sleep on my face, when, kind of, maybe, Reilly didn’t own a cat.

In the morning, when I wasn’t woken up by the morning sunlight peaking through the curtains, but by a blood-chilling scream, it all made more sense.

The scream made me jump out of my skin and falling off the couch in no time. My elbow hit the corner of a table that wasn’t supposed to be there, the kitten that was once upon a time on my head was screeching and hiding under the couch and... I swore (fuck, fuck, fuck, not the fucking elbow, Jesus). I realised then that the bloody couch was dark purple and cozy looking and not grey uncomfortable leather. That the walls were blue so light it was almost white and not that prime coat that Reilly never got to paint. That the girl had stop screaming and was looking at me with amused and disturb interest.

“Hi,” I croaked. It wasn’t everyday I found myself in a situation like this: slightly still kind of, maybe, definitely drunk (a little bit), shirtless, and sleeping in the wrong bloody flat.

The elbow was still sore and my head was pounding but the smile I sent her was trying really hard not to be creepy. She, with her dark brown hair and almond shaped eyes and pretty legs and amused crooked grin, crossed her arms and threw her head back and laughed (what a laugh) until it was all gone and she could talk again.

“Hi. You should tell me right now why you’re in my flat.” The girl said in a very authoritative voice. She looked like she didn’t know if she had to be scared or amused. For a split second, I realised that by finding me this morning, a strange man sleeping on her couch, I might have shattered her sense of safety. And that made me blurt my words out.

“Yeah, um, I’m Harry?” I said like a question. This whole situation had me unsure of my own name, “‘m so sorry about that. Was um… kinda drunk last night.” (I do not know why I was still on the floor.)

“I can see that,” her arms were crossed, a stance of protection.

I passed a hand over my face, wincing, “Yeah, so I think that maybe I’ve mistaken your window with my best mate’s,” I explained, pointing vaguely outside.

“Mmmm,” she hummed, her eyes shifting to the front door.

“Yes, he, um, I assume he’s your neighbour, probably, I hope.” God, I hoped. Because it would have mean I was really freaking drunk last night if not only I didn’t go through the right window, but wasn’t even in the right building.

“I kind of hope too.”

“Yeah?” I said, scratching behind my head.

“Yeah. Wouldn’t want you to be a creepy dude that sneaked into my flat,” she said, lifting one eyebrow.

I winced again, “Touché.”

“Yep.”

It took a moment for us to move. I was looking at the floor when I realised I still hadn’t put my shirt on. I didn’t want to make the girl any more uncomfortable that that situation was probably putting her in. But I was hungover, and my brain was slow, and for some reason it didn’t occur to me to run out of there as fast as possible. So, I  got up on my feet, swaying while doing so, and threw my shirt on the fastest way possible for a man that was probably still a bit drunk. The girl was, still, kind of amusedly staring at me.

“What?” I said, standing there like a moron. (still not leaving).

“Nothing,” she shrugged. She looked up, as if she was debating something, then uncrossed her arms, patting her thighs at her side in a nervous manner.

Cleared her throat, “I’m Nisa, by the way. Want some tea?”

I nodded my head too fast, borderline breaking my neck and throwing up from the movement, because of how scared I was of being thrown out. Even though I’d told myself several time to leave already. She laughed at me, a laugh that wasn’t complete somehow. Probably still in shock from having this weird half-drunk dude in her living room.

“What a laugh.”

She smiled, looking at me sideways. I realised I had said it aloud. My blush began to my neck and went to the roots of my hair.

She walked to her kitchen, and I followed, not too close behind. She boiled water in her electric kettle, and got two mugs and two bags of tea out as I watched. When the kettle beeped and she purred water in the cups, she sat on the countertop and beckon me to join her with a sign of her head before giving me my cuppa. I, with my wild bed hair, flattened out on the right side of my head, my dark circles, hollow under my eyes, trying to smile without looking more creepy than I probably was. Nisa, with her irises as dark as the night, giant green forest sweater on to match, pajama shorts and her cotton socks. Sitting side by side.

“So,” I said once my cup was empty and we’d sat in silence for too long.

“Hmm?”

“I’m very sorry. For scaring you and all. I mean… It really wasn’t something I intended to do, and um… I should probably go now,” I said finally, jumping off the countertop, putting my cup on the counter and taking my coat from the couch.

“Yeah,” she said, “maybe I’ll see you,” She nodded, joining me at the door as I opened it.

“Maybe.”

The door closed on my back, and I took a deep breath, trying to focus on the wall in front of me. Now that I didn’t have to focus on not creeping the girl out, I could feel how dizzy I was. My heart was pounding in my throat, and I needed to keep my lips shut or I would very certainly throw up. Unfortunately for my hangover, it took a while and a tiny bit of effort to realised that Reilly’s flat was two doors on the left.

“You look like shit,” Reilly said as soon as his front door closed behind me. I collapse beside him on the couch, a hand on my forehead in the delusional idea that it would stop pounding.

“Thanks.”

After giving me some ibuprofen and water in a beer glass, Reilly finally asked where I’d spend the night. Ian had texted him the night before to know if I was okay or if I’d died from alcohol poisoning. Fortunately for me, Reilly had only seen the message this morning, or he would have probably called the cops on my disturbing disappearance. Or not.

“Fuck if I know,” I answered, standing up so that I could get rid of all that alcohol in my body.

Vomit. I was going to vomit.

*

Nisa

It had been a month. A month to the day that somehow… my perspective on life had change. A month since I’d talked to my mum, more since I’d talked to him.

I didn’t want to stay awake the whole night. Not again. So, I had taken some sleeping pills Elaine had given me the week before. To see if it would work, to see if I could finally get rid of those awful dreams. Those pills worked too well maybe. They were the only explanation I was willing to give myself for not hearing this boy get through my window during the night.

The pills had worked anyhow. I didn’t remember falling asleep, nor did I woke during the night panting and sweating. It had been only blank, darkness and then… light. I had to tell my body to move so I could get out of bed and have breakfast, my body still kind of heavy because of the sleep I wasn’t used to have. I had dragged my feet on the floor, my eyes half closed as I went to the bathroom to pee. It was only when I was coming back towards the living room, planning to watch telly, that I realised something wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I yelled when I realised it was a boy. Luna screeched and hid away as she tended to do. For a moment, as he startled awake and out of the couch to the floor, with his disheveled hair in his face and his messy clothes, I had no idea if this boy was going to hurt me or not. I step back as he swore, crossing my arms in front of my body. Somehow through my panic I snorted at him, his clumsiness at trying to get up almost endearing.

“Hi,” he croaked after giving up on standing, looking around in panic and raising his head to look at me. He looked lost, his hand rubbing his sore elbow he’d just banged on the coffee table. His jeans riding up his ankles, all twisted around the legs, his torso and arms speckled with tattoos I found myself being intrigued with.

Through my panic, I felt myself laugh, like a nervous laughter bubbling up my throat and out there to form a sound I didn’t know would come out. When the laughter dried out, I felt myself focusing again on the boy in front of me instead of the weird reaction my body was having. I was pretty sure these sleeping pills were still fucking up with me.

“Hi,” I said, before taking a deep breath, “You should tell me right now why you’re in my flat.”

When I stopped talking, I saw something flashed in his eyes, like comprehension or realisation. He said, “Yeah, um, I’m Harry?” his name sounded like a question, and I wasn’t sure if this meant he was more confuse than I was or if he’d just given me a fake name, “‘m so sorry about that. Was um… kinda drunk last night.”

“I can see that,” I said, my hands squeezing my sides even more. I was still waiting for the explanation. This twenty-something boy had the lowest and slowest voice I’d ever heard out of a man. My dad had that loud, extravagant and rapid tone he would boast out to tell his stories, and Evan, it hurt me to think, had a tone low but sweet, his words tumbling one on the other as he talked.

He winced at my words, “Yeah, so I think that maybe I’ve mistaken your window with my best mate’s,” he said, pointing to the window.

I hummed, still waiting. I didn’t know if his slow manner was due to his drunkenness or if it was a natural state.

“Yes, he, um, I assume he’s your neighbour, probably, I hope.”

“I kind of hope too,” I said, smiling tightly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Wouldn’t want you to be a creepy dude that sneaked into my flat,” I said, lifting one eyebrow.

He winced again, “Touché.”

“Yep.”

I was still looking at him as he stared at the floor, probably thinking about what to do next. I didn’t know why I was still standing there like a moron instead of throwing him out of my flat like a normal twenty-something girl would do if she found a strange boy sleeping on her couch in the morning. My mind was going fuzzy with thoughts and questions. But my eyes were staring. Staring at his shoulders and the tattoos on his collarbones and at his hair, soft, wispy, that ended at the start of his head and the end of his neck. At his hands, searching on the floor for what I assumed was his t-shirt. He stood up suddenly, finally, and I averted my eyes for a second as he put his shirt and boots on. I looked again, he’d managed to make his hair messier than it had been previously.

“What?” he asked suddenly, catching me looking at him.

“Nothing,” I shrugged, hiding my smile. I closed my eyes for a second, uncrossed my arms. I was probably an idiot for doing this, and my mum would probably find out about my murder in the newspaper tomorrow, but I sighed, cleared my throat and said, “I’m Nisa, by the way. Want some tea?”

He nodded, looking a bit green after the act, and a laugh bubble up my throat again somehow, but I caught it, just in time not to look completely crazy. I heard him without registering what he said straight away, and a smile grew on my face that I couldn’t stop.

“What a laugh,” he’d said under his breath.

I turned around to hide my slow blush as I walked to the kitchen, put water in the kettle and let it boiled. I got my favorite green mug and a red mug out and two english breakfast tea bags before putting the boiled water in the mugs. I kept both teas black as I gave his to Harry without asking if he wanted something in it. He nodded without complaint and sat beside me on the countertop as we both drank our cuppas in silence.

“So,” he said, cutting the silence. I kept the still warm mug in my hands as I hummed at him to continue.

“I’m very sorry,” he started as I lift my head up to him, “For scaring you and all. I mean… It really wasn’t something I intended to do, and um…,” he waited, nodding to himself, “I should probably go now,” he said finally, jumping off the countertop, putting his cup on the counter and walking towards the couch to take the coat that was sprawled on it.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “maybe I’ll see you,” I said as he walked to the front door and opened it. He turned to me, a shy smile flashing on his lips.

He said, “Maybe.”

I closed the door behind his back, my forehead leaning on the cold wood. I leaned back taking a big breath as I locked the door, turning around to stare at the window he had come from.

“Fuck.”

It was ten a.m. and I needed a drink.

[princeseanadam]

Time for some questions that my friend has asked that im gonna post and make you sit through cause now i have a ton more content. at some point it gets a little hectic with a ton less questions being asked and more of just ideas being thrown around. i would like to thank my lovely friend  for that cause she helped me come up with literally everything here.

Why Linda?

linda because it started as a joke with my friend and i have no impulse control

what how tall are all of the characters?

I don’t have exact measurements but I do have an order of heights that my friend helped me do. I’ll show you like this

Remy

Roman

Logan,Patton (same height)

Deceit

Virgil

how did Virgil and Patton meet?

they met in high school. They all basically went to the same high school (not logan though)

I meant Virgil and Logan..

they met in college, well what Virgil went to of collage. He only stayed for a little while before dropping out to focus on YouTube but he still stayed in touch with logan

Who proposed to who?

Logan did. It was… Simple but sweet. He did so in private, after a nice dinner and a walk in the park at night (cliche but hey it worked). He was considerate enough to not propose in public cause he didn’t want Virgil to be pressured into saying yes by others watching him.

Who said I love you first?

Virgil. He thought logan was asleep when he said it, Logan was very much not asleep.  He said I love you back and terrified Virgil cause “shitshitshit he heard me ohmygodohmygod” now they say it at least once a day (usually before Logan goes to work or before hanging up on the phone)

What was their biggest fight?

They don’t fight very often mostly because Virgil hates confrontation and Logan would much rather talk it out and come to a compromise but it’d probably be when Virgil wanted to dropout of college. Logan didn’t quite understand why and that lead to an argument about his future and YouTube careers and such. Eventually when they managed to calm the fuck down and actually talk about the stress he was under and how unhappy Virgil was they did come to the conclusion it would be better if he did leave collage

Who asked who out?

Logan. It was quite obvious how much Virgil liked him but logan also realised that Virgil would never make the first move so logan took it upon himself to ask him on a date to an art museum

who kissed who first?

Virgil did this time! Logan had leaned in one night and then paused to make sure Virgil actually wanted to be kissed and then Virgil closed the space. So technically he kissed logan first and gets very embarrass when he brings it up “technically you kissed me Virgil” “YOU LEANED IN FIRST”

And it’s pointed out that they want children eventually, correct?Would they adopt a kid, surrogate mother, ect.?

Adopt. Logan was adopted and would very much like to help a kid like him out as well

How old? Also boy or girl?

Girl. Virgil wants a daughter. And their open to any age but probably younger than 3

Any plans for when this would occur?

In a few years at least. They still think theyre too young to take care of a child and not financially stable enough to warrant taking in a child

What would her name be

Rosie I don’t have a reason for that one I just like it

what’s Patton and Romans relationship like?

Very sweet…after a while. Romans a little hesitant at first. He knows he likes Patton. From the first time they hang out he had a small crush. But he’s scared of rushing into things again. He does go a bit faster than what he normally would since they are old friends though. After they do warm up to each other Roman very much becomes dependant on him and is very affectionate and full of love

How do Roman and Virgil interact?

At first, very awkwardly. Virgil doesn’t still have a crush on him but he does remember Roman saying he’s straight being his first heartbreak. Patton eventually drags them into hanging out enough times for them to fall into a dynamic like we see in the videos. Joking insults, playful arguments about Disney films, joking around in general. They also speak fluent meme and vine reference towards each other cause none of the others get it

“Virgil you want a drink?”

“Yeah. Yeet it”

*throws water bottle to him across the room*

So, Patton is adorable. When he gets angry, how do the others react?

Well the thing with Patton is when he gets mad it never lasts long before the frustration crumbles into sadness. So at the first sign of angry Patton they all brace themselves for the wave of emotions. They’ve learned that you have to listen to him when he’s mad, then comfort and work it out when he’s sad afterwards. He only ever gets mad when people aren’t listening to him though (not every time more like he’s trying to express a concern, or an idea and people keep ignoring him or talking over him until he snaps) that being said at first Virgil handles it the best but once Roman got closer to him he learned pretty quick

How did everyone feel meeting thomas?

Initially, confusion. Why did Roman have a child? Where was the mother? Roman is so young? But after a little bit they all loved him. Patton was the only one to love first ask questions later though. More of “oh a baby! What’s his name can I hold him” and then after a little bit he started asking the how questions. Patton was the first to meet him, then logan and Virgil together. Logan was the first one to start asking the questions everyone was thinking other than the big one (what happened to the mother)

Will Linda ever return?

I don’t have any specific plans for that to happen at the moment. But it’d be in her best interest to stay away cause now she has 4 more people ready to kick her ass at any moment. However i do think that in the future thomas would want to meet her

As Thomas grows, what will Roman tell him?

The truth. When he’s young he kind of accepts that he has two dad’s and the thought doesn’t cross his mind. Its when he gets in school he starts asking questions. Thomas don’t get it at first but if he grows up being told the same thing about his mother, eventually he’ll understand (im speaking from experience here actually. I think it was best that mom told me the truth at a young age and kept reinforcing the idea )

So who kissed who first between Patton and Roman?

Patton kissed Roman on the cheek first, which lead to roman kissing Patton on the forehead regularly. But when it does come down to it Patton pecked Roman on the lips as a kiss goodnight after a date. Which, in turn, lead to roman immediately pulling him back in for a real kiss

NSFW BIT HERE THAT’S A WARNING

Have they ;) yet?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it depends on your definition I guess. It’s hard (hehe) to get someone to take care of thomas and when they do they’re usually on a date, or too exhausted to do anything but get a nice nap in. but a blowjob or hand job has happened before

Alright. And if they have, when did Virge and Logan?

Honeymoon. Virgil wanted to wait until they were married to go all the way. I know it’s cliche but he was honestly just nervous about exposing himself and doing something with someone just to have them leave. He didn’t want to be so vulnerable with someone who wouldn’t stay

NSFW BIT OVER

So, any of them have pets

Roman used to have a cat but then Patton and him got more serious, they were thinking about moving in together and we’ll Patton is allergic so he gave him to emilie

Will they ever get a dog

Patton really wants one (or 50) but Roman is worried about getting one that might be too energetic and potentially hurting or knocking Thomas over. When thomas is older though romans open to the idea

how did Logan and Virgil meet (more specifically)

They sat beside each other one day in an astrology class, Virgil accidently drank Logan’s coffee instead of his own cause he was t i r e d and Logan was like “yknow what? Keep it.” and Virgil was like “oh no I’m sorry can I buy you a new one?” they exchanged numbers and the next morning Virgil texted him asking what kind he wanted. Eventually they alternated getting each other coffee every morning and then that evolved to hanging out after classes

When did Logan decide to propose?

Logan’s mom told him never to marry  someone if you haven’t seen them at their most vulnerable point. He saw him at one of his worst beakdowns and realised he still loved him just as much as when virgil was at his best. That’s when he just… knew(i got a small fix about the exact moment tell me if youd wanna see that)

Have they ever broken up?

nope

Who is the little spoon?

Every part of me wants to tell you logan. Every. single. damn. part. of me… but in my heart I know it’s Virgil

(after some discussion about pets, a lot of backtracking and some discussion this is what we’ve got)

they get a hairless cat and Virgil is salty until it crawls into his jacket and starts purring. But like, simease cats (spelling is 100% wrong) actually like being dressed. So it would crawl into his jacket and look up at him and then make that cat noise that melts people’s hearts, then starts purring. Logan walks in to see the cat on Virgil’s chest, zipped into the hoodie. Both of them asleep.That was his phones background for months

what’s the cats name?

Bobbi (bobberta for long )

Virgil does the baby voice when he /thinks/ no one is around. Logan has a thirty minute video of him calling her baby and cooing as she just climbed into his jacket and laid there And then Roman and Patton saw it, and then he lost all “street cred” and Logan posts a 2 minute clip of it on his Twitter and people who follow him cause they know he’s married to Virgil see it, fandom goes wild, logan almost had to sleep on the couch (Virgil wasn’t actually mad he was just embarrassed)

Bonus, now his fans know he actually really loves the cat.

Virgil in videos : my stupid ugly bitch of a cat Bobbi

Virgil in that specific video: hey baby ya want in my jacket? Here ya go girl see sweetie pie I love you :) I love you a whole bunch aww

Oh, and Bobbi freaking knows. She’s so cocky. Especially when Logan wants to cuddle and it’s just “but she just got comfortable…and now she’s asleep…” And then she opens one eye at Logan

Logan: Virgil sweetie please come to bed it’s late

Virgil, laying on his stomach with Bobbi asleep on his back in his hood: are you even seeing this? You want me to move????? No fuck off babe

Oh, and some nights, she just climbs into Virgil’s arms… seemingly always before Logan gets back from brushing his teeth. Virgil is just happily asleep, and the cat looks so smug in h i s  s p o t

Even more insulting is that Logan’s the one who cleans the litter box

So, Roman. I love him. How old is he?

I have no clue XD in the song that it’s based on it says"5 years from now" and if were assuming this happened in his senior year them that would probably but him around 24S

o how did he react when he found out Linda was pregnant?

Excitmant. For 2 seconds. Before he realised that they were young and he didn’t think the child was his and just.. Fear… and bad thoughts but he didn’t tell her that. He stuck by her side the entire time until she finally gave birth to this beautiful baby

So, who gives Thomas ‘the talk?

Oh good Lord all of them at once

How does that go?

Bad.It’s a disaster It starts with just roman and then Patton tries to help and then the others come over and try to help and in the end it’s Logan who makes it somewhat understandable. Thomas is just so confused until Logan makes it clear. All of them sitting there like “well uh it’s when a boy and a girl well uh it doesn't have to be a boy and a girl Its like two people”

Remy" or a person and a machine"

Everyone: “R E M Y NO”

“But toys…and it could be three” Dee is no help

They end up kicking them out of the room after 5 minutes. And Virgil is just so awkward. Logan is very to the point. Patton is trying to sugar coat it. And then Roman is trying to say it’s all about love and romance without saying too much about what happens

Logan: so most commonly a penis-

Patton: AHH NO NOT THAT WORD uhh a boys parts..

Logan: but not only boys have penisis Patton

Patton:WOULD YOU STOP SAYING THAT WORD

Logan:It’s the correct term Patton. Would you prefer for me to call it a dic-

Roman:Penis is fine!

Thomas dosent learn anything until Logan is like “okay Patton Virgil get out. Me and Roman will handle this”

Patton: but I’m his dad!

Logan: yeah so is roman. You two keep getting in each others way and confusing him. Now shoo.

And Thomas just listening to Logan, and asking questions. The two get closer because he was the only one to handle it correctly

Joan years later: so which one of your dads gave you the talk

Thomas: my uncle did cause everyone else was scared and confused

How does Thomas hear about Sex?

Deceit >:3

Oh god, what did he do?

Tons of inappropriate jokes. Patton is always S H O C K ED he would make such jokes in front of a child l. Virgil smacks him when he does it and if it goes too far he doesn’t hold back

*while explaining it* Deceit: so its when you take your dic-

*gets bitch slapped by Virgil*

Remy is just laughing so hard

Oh god deceit taught Thomas his first cuss word and Patton like tackles him

he dropped an f bomb at dinner and Roman choked on his water

thomas:Hey dad I learned a new word today!

roman:Oh really what was it?

thomas:Fuck!

roman:*chokes on salad*

Patton: WHO TOLD YOU THAT

Thomas: de and remy!

Patton, pulling out a baseball bat: in just gonna talk to them

Roman: Patton no

patton:I’m just gonna talk to them

roman:No-

patton:*getting in his car* I’m just gonna talk to them

what does Linda do after she leaves?

drugs probably

What would happen if Thomas met her?

well she'd probably try and play it off like she did nothing wrong and it was roman who left her and then she'd get her ass kicked by remy who was there for all of it.okay not like physical violence but definitely getting cussed out and yelled at for an hour.  i dont think thomas would tell her to stay out of his life, but i do think remy would tell her to stay the fuck away. And  imagine patton cursing her out. like no one's ever heard him cuss till linda comes along

patton: “thomas will you please leave the room”

patton: “okay listen here you little bitch”

What would Roman say to her?

roman wont even look at her. she hurt him really bad.. he’d just ask her to leave and if she even takes a step towards him everyone else would instantly feel like they are ready to fight. And then after she leaves Roman just breaks down. logans the only civil one who asks her sternly yet calmly to leave cause everyone else is just glaring a cursing. when she leaves everyone just huddles around roman, comforting him. thomas would cry too.. probably just with all the tension and how roman would cry he'd probably feel partly responsible (if this did happen he'd be in his late teens) And Patton just cuddles Roman. And for days Thomas is just refusing to look anyone in the eye.my poor boys.. patton would be going around doing damage control and trying to clean up the emotional mess linda made. And even Dee is careful around Roman. remy is definitely the one to actually grow and tell her to “stay the fuck away from my family” with his voice d r i p p i n g with venom. The damage she did was awful. remy thomas dee roman and patton take it hardest. virgil and logan did not grasp the reality of the situation till it was right in front of them. I think, besides Roman, Thomas takes it the hardest. He refuses to show most people his eyes for weeks..

patton: you haven't looked us in the eyes for weeks thomas are you okay?

thomas: i don't like my eyes.. you said i have /her/ eyes.. i don't like them

patton: hey no no no. you have /your/ eyes. when we look in them we don't think about her. we think about you and how happy and full of life they are. those are your eyes and we love them so much.  

and he just breaks down sobbing

 On a lighter headcanon dee is transgender. and he lives with remy but i haven't decided whether or not to have them together

Remy being asexual. but also he's not sex repulsed and has, out of curiosity, had dee eat him out cause did i mention dee has a split tongue? well yeah that did happen mostly cause it was joke my friend made t me like “damn what that tongue do!! even your asexual as would try that” and i was like “HEY BUDDY I FEEL CALLED OUT”

Well does Talyn come into the au any time soon

i have spent literally hours trying to find a way to work them in that would make sense and that i enjoy and could make work and haven't found a way yet but i am working on it

.So, like the hairless Bobbi and Thomas

Thomas is not very high on the cats favorites list. I mean he’s above Logan but also he tries to pick it up when it doesn't want to But like, she’s fine with him. The one time she tried to scratch him, to everyone's surprise, Virgil was the one to get onto herBobbi: *hiss and tries to scratch*

Virgil *picking her up and taking her away* bobbi! Bad kitty! We do not do that! Bad!

And then locks her in his room for the rest of the visit. Everyone is just so surprised, and Logan is hurt “You never stopped her from attacking me” and Thomas is just sad because the kitty is gone

"You’re a grown ass man Logan this is a child"

“ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT "

And Dee gives Thomas a stuffed cat before he starts crying.

And Roman is laughing so hard

Thomas: on the floor pouting

Dee: REMY GO GET THE EMERGENCY STUFFED ANIMAL OUR TIME HAS COME

And like, he just goes home snuggling the stuffed animal, and everyone is so confused because no one was paying attention. Thomas loves it, not just because it’s a cat, but his uncle Dee gave him it

Dee /totally didn’t/ crybwhen he was called uncle dee

. All of them cried when Thomas started calling them uncle and Patton cried at "daddy Patton"

Even Logan got choked up. Patton sobbed. Then Roman came in and saw Patton hugging a tiny and confused Thomas. It took over an hour to get Patton to l e t  h i m  g o

And Thomas hugged Logan’s leg when he called him uncle, thinking he made him sad because he’d never seen him like that.

Roman: hey I’m back with the groceries help me pack them in- what are you doing

Patton, crying: Thomas say it again!

Thomas : daddy Patton

Patton: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

Roman had to bring all of them in himself

 Okay so..Idea: Thomas caught a frog and tried to kiss it while Roman was like "SHIT NO DON’T DO THAT NONONO”

And Thomas is like" but you said kissing frogs turn them into princes"

R:“That’s only magical frogs”

T:“How do I know if the frogs are magical”

P:“They have to be talking frogs”

T:“Oh..okay” and puts down the poor little thing

 Roman and Linda were engaged. She’s old his ring to a pawn shop, for drugs probably.He proposed after he found out she was pregnant. He knew she was cheating on him but thought maybe this would make her stay: deceit finds it in a pawn shop. Anyway deceits in there for unknown reasons and he sees it and of course it’s like engraved so he /knows/ it’s romans. And Roman is just so sad. He starts crying. Remy's ready to hunt down Linda and murder her like the least she could do was leave him the damn ring. Roman wants to get rid of it but the others aren’t so sure

Maybe Patton turns it into a bracelet. That’s the thing about Patton. He wants to turn something ugly into something beautiful. Maybe when Thomas is older they give it to him. Just like with the eye thing, so they associate the bracelet/ring with him instead of linda

God speaking of the eyes can you imagine Roman talking about Linda and saying “and she had the most beautiful big brown eyes…” and  looking over at thomas as he says that.This is when he’s a tiny baby and she had just left. and Patton is just sad. Cause you know he’s telling him about it like pattons holding Thomas and its late at night and Patton just quietly asks “tell me about her? His mom?” and Roman just quietly nods and talks for an hour and Patton listening to each and every word. He starts with all the good things like her laugh and her eyes but eventually he starts telling him about the fights, the cheating, the drinking… And Patton is there for him. He stays up with him all night..And Patton hugs him. Patton gets Virgil and Logan to take Thomas the next day so he and Roman can have a day to themselves since they had a very emotional night and are tired.

Virgil doesn’t know what to do with the smol boi. Logan doesn't know either mate..

Bonus points if this is the first time they take care of the baby

Logan probably gets the camera and records Virgil being a disaster with the baby and virgil's like"STOP RECORDING AND HELP ASSHOLE" while like changing a diaper or something

Virgil kind of just…pats his head when Thomas gets sad, but it sort of worksVirgil : *holding Thomas* Oh no don’t cry please not again uh uh *pat pat* did… Did it work?

Thomas: ……..*starts fucking screeching harder*

Virgil: S H I T!

logan looks up what to do and helps.of course, when Thomas is about three, Virgil is great with him

So, Patton and Roman’s wedding?

Patton wears a blue suit, Roman wears a white one. They don’t have a lot of money so they try and keep it simple and small, but Roman of course still tries to still make it special for Patton. Roman is a nervous wreck, patton's excited. All of their friends are there, patton's family too (a lot of children and family. Patton's family takes up 73% of the crowd. Romans family doesn't come (other than like picani) Patton walks down the isle, Virgil and Logan are groomsmen because Remy and deceit are not to be trusted (which they are like “yeah that’s fair” ) the wedding goes good, Thomas is probably like.. 5 or 6 at this point. Thomas is so happy. He’s just so happy for His dad’s he doesn’t know what to do. He’s bouncy and happy and giggly and eats a lot of cake. Roman is so happy. Patton cried happy tears and won’t let go of Roman for like a week. Honeymoon while Thomas stays with Virgil and logan

later Thomas had to ask why daddy patton has bruises all over his neck. Patton “got attacked my a bear” cause he panicked and that’s what he said. Thomas cried and threw away a stuffed bear. Patton and Roman had to do damage control.

Thomas realises this like 10 years later just sitting there having a conversation and “oh yeah my dad once told me he was attacked by a… Bear… OH MY GOD THEY WERE HICKEYS!!”

*Joan just dying* “I  C R I E D!! I THREW AWAY MY STUFFED BEAR J O A N !!!!” And that’s the story of how Thomas got enrolled in therapy

Ngl it took deceit and Remy a good 10 minutes to recover from hearing the bear excuse.

And Virgil just walked out of the room, laughing. Logan just quietly telling Roman “I could’ve thought of at least 20 better excuses” as patton’s just in the floor with Thomas like “NONONONONONO ITS OKAY IM OKAY DONT CRY” And Thomas hugging him so tightly for a five year old

“ it bit you!” while pointing at a bite dee and Remy and deceit actually *C R Y I N G* from laughter while Patton just blushing and trying to excuse it