#Lisa and Rojda and the cinematography and the location scout?

[absent-o-minded]

What's this....A-Another underrated scene analysis? After dissapearing off the map? But it's been plaguing my mind? Absolutely. So I wanted to speak about this lil' bit in 1x03 with Simon (my beloved):

This episode in particular is a gem for interesting small scenes and this one where Simon confronts August, or rather the time after that is no exception.

Bjärstad at night looks beautiful. The way in which they've given us small glimpses of the Town (City? Town? Citytowncitytown?-) through Simon's home street and Rosh's football game scene with things like the petrol station and shop, the conveniance store littered with young kids, the silver-hued streetlamps really emulate the urban environment that Simon lives in. This is in contrast to Wilhelm, who isn't used to the cosy denseness of working class/middle class cities. That's bEsidE the point, that's a whole other tangent, but look at this:

After Rosh (my beLoVed) manages to get Simon off of August, they take him home. Already, a shift is established because we get a repeat of the scene an episode before where Wille and Simon were on the mopeds after the game, but here it's different. It seems more regretful, and even lonely. The streetlamps are on, and they're riding past all of the housing complex's, but otherwise it's fairly dark. And they're riding in silence. No one is speaking or laughing or WOOING like they were before.

We can tell that something's not right with this close-up of Simon especially, where the background is more of a backdrop - out of focus and blurred so that we are more inclined to focus on his expression. Which is, well...look at it. You would think that after getting some sort of "revenge" on August, by literally whipping out an UNO Reverse card and making him feel small and intimidated, Simon would be gratified right? He got August to confess something vulnerable, something self-damaging, and most of all gave a command to him, like August has been doing this entire fucking time. So why isn't he happy? Or unbothered, at least?

Because that's not who Simon is. And he knows that.

Here he looks all soppy and crestfallen and sad, because he is. I think that Simon regrets what he did, and knows that even though he was so angry, it was wrong. Even me, who was ready to full on become a Boxing Ring narrator with my mic and everything felt weird after that scene, because it felt so...out of character? Which was deliberate. And because I love pain, it made me think;

Do you think that in this moment, riding home in silence in Bjärstad, that Simon thought of his father? Do you think that he reflected on what he'd just done and felt too close, too similar to Micke for comfort?

Ayub and Rosh (My BeLoVED. They are all my beloveds.) have that close of a friendship that they can call eachother out if they're acting out of line. And that's exactly what Rosh does. Am I crying and on my knees for nothing but happiness and joy and love in Season 2? Yes. Am I also a fool for thinking I would get that? Yes. Is what Rosh says necessary? Absolutely.

It's not malicious or hurtful, what Rosh is saying comes from a place of nothing but love and care for Simon, and that's what makes it even more painful, like genuinely, we're only on Episode 3 and the will to put a stake through my chest is so great. But what she says/they say is so important. She recognises that whatever that was, whatever Simon just did was not the Simon that she knew, and she is willing to give their perspective on things. "You're no better than him." Simon didn't get back at August, he just stooped to the domineering, degrading standards of him. The environment of boarding school revolves around conformity and is prone to change people, but Rosh knows that Simon will prevail, because he's not like that. He's not a part of that whole perverse rich-kid cult shit. He's caring. He's kind.

Simon is left alone in the street after Ayub and Rosh drive away, and the reason why this feels so unnatural is because Simon is inherently family-orientated, and always seems to be surrounded by his friends or family when not at school. We've only ever seen this kind of shot composition with Wille (MY BELOV-I'll stop) - where he is alone and pitted against his surroundings central to the camera frame. That's why we, as an audience, know that Simon has fucked up (as every single character in the show does). As gratifying as it might have been for us to see August get his face shoved into the mud, it really wasn't Simon. We know that. And that's settled on Simon too, before Ayub leaves Simon goes to apologise, but Ayub doesn't want to hear it. Even after he goes into his home, it's quiet.

I watched Lisa's Permanant Press interview earlier on today (If you haven't watched it, please do. It's a brilliant insight into how YR was crafted and come on now, who wouldn't want to watch the Queen of the Clowns herself talk about writing for an hour?? Mad ting.) But, she mentioned an old, very well-know Swedish book (I didn't catch the name) that is similar to YR in respects of focussing on a Boarding School, except it deals with the more violent, brutal asepcts, and it made me wonder if this abrupt outburst of rage that results in contemplation is a comment on that? In the sense of, within YR, people use their words to gain or to take or manipulate or girlboss, you know? It's mostly about language. I mean, look at August and the Queen. Really, it's only Micke who uses any form of physicality against someone else, but even that is very minute. So, I view this particular section of 1x03 as the possible "what could've been". Worst come to worst, armaggedon, sobbing, throwing up, all of that.

What if Simon had followed Sara's pursuit and let Hillerska mould him? How would their newly adopted personas differ, if at all, because of their gender (give me the gender.) or their sexuality? What if, for example, Lisa and the writers had gone down the violent route, where the only way to make a place for yourself was to connect your fist with a jaw? Or if they HAD gone down the Elite-esque style?

I'm really sorry that this is SO LONG, that's my bad, but it's late and the last crumbs of serotonin and adrenaline were wearing off <3