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musicandi · 5 years ago

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Hairline Fracture (EMTDeran)

Warnings: Please be gentle with me, this is the first time I am writing in almost 5/6 years maybe even more. I wanted to try and take on the EMT Deran request but this is the first time I am writing animal Kingdom as well. Deran is a little soft in here.

Deran has been up since 8 last night pulling an almost a 10 hour shift. They have one more run and then he is looking forward to rolling a joint, kicking his feet and not moving for the rest of the day. Whoever told him it was a good idea to become an EMT should be shot in the face.

He kicks his feet on the dash as he lets out a big yawn earning a laugh from his partner in the driver seat.

“Dude shut up.” He mumbled as he looks out the window at the sun that was just raising.

“What! I didn’t say anything.” J says keeping his eyes on the road. J is a good kid, not that much younger than him so they always get along fine. Everyone got a kick at finding out J was his nephew that he never knew but with a raise of an eyebrow it always shuts them up.

“Why so tired anyways?” J asks. “Wait I thought I saw Lincoln on the way in.” He tilts his head with a smirk that Deran rolls his eyes at. Gosh Clark Lincoln was a mistake and a half. Yea he was hot and sex was good but then when Linc wanted serious he was pretty bummed that Deran didn’t. Now every time he sees him it is either a puppy dog face or a hopefully face.

“Don’t even start with that J.” Deran moans out.

“No way, I told you don’t sleep with the nurses, that included Male nurses.” He teases and Deran although wanted to punch him, couldn’t help but crack a little smile. J was cool, a little asshole but cool.

Soon enough they get to their location which seems to be at a beach that Deran visited a thousands time when he was a teenager. One thing he liked was that no matter how tired he was he knew when to be in the zone and he never failed there. Knowing the procedure like the back of his hand, J being exactly where he was suppose to be, everything flowed them right down to..Oh shit Adrian Dolan.

Although on the outside Deran remained cool and collective, inside he wanted to know what the hell he did to deserve meeting his teenage crush while he looked like shit after pulling a 10 hour shift. He looks over to his partner and sees him smirking which means maybe he wasn’t as cool and collective as he thought.

“I already told them, they didn’t need to call you guys I am fine.” Adrian’s voice brings him out of his thoughts as he looks down at the surfer sitting on the sun looking like he got the wind knocked out of him.

Deran kneels down next to him. “Alright well can you tell me what happen while I look at your arm?” He asks gesturing toward his arm that was being cradled near his chest. Adrian at first just stared at him before shakes his head lightly and slowly bringing his arm out.

“The wave caught me off guard, pulled me under, kept me in the barrel before slamming me on the reef. But I swear I am fine, nothing that hasn’t happened to me a thousand times.” He explains as he tries to sell his story. Deran could relate. Growing up in Oceanside, there wasn’t much to do as a teenage boy but surf. He remember surfing till the break of dawn, he also remember the cute freckled kid who shredded everyone around him. He looks over to J who seems to be taking his vital and see him nod that he seems to be okay.

“You broke your wrist a thousand times too?” He asks Adrian as he lightly holds the broken appendage.

Adrian rolls his eyes as he nods with a smirk. “I grew up surfing and skateboarding as a kid, what do you think?”

“I think it means you need to come with us Mr. Dolan.” Deran replies with his own smirk, standing up to his feet.”

Adrian seems to be caught off guard with he hears his last name before he realized what he said before that and drops his shoulders. Deran sighs as he squats back down and places his hand on Adrian’s shoulder.

“Come on, the faster you get it looked at the faster you can get back on a board.” He sees out of the corner of his eye that J brought the gurney nearby.

“Fine but can I at least walk to the ambulance please?”

Deran wanted so badly to tell him yes, it was on the tip of his tongue but he guesses J could see his internal battle because he speaks out “Sorry it is against policy. You need to be on the bed.”

J and Deran worked together to get Adrian strapped in and the whole time he could feel J smirking at him, knowing there is a full story there. Deran raises his eyes to his younger partner and shoots him a glare. J softly laughs as he moves to the ambulance. Before Deran knows it J pushes him into the back.

“Don’t worry Bro. Go sit with prince charming, I’ll get you guys there safely.” Deran wanted to punch him in his baby face but instead he flips him the bird before closing the doors. He turns to Adrian and see him sitting there looking down to his lap.

“I thought you did this thousands of times, and you seem to be handling the pain like a champ, what’s up, worried about your board?” He says. As awkward as this could be, he thought might as well make conversation right?

“Nah, my roommate Chad is going to take it home for me. Just kind of bummed I broke my wrist. Thankfully I know how to still work with a cast, but now it means no surfing and a hospital bill. That is never in the budget.” He confessed as he throws his head back.

Deran watches him close his eyes and sigh. He clears his throat when he realizes he has been staring. “I am sorry Mr. Dolan.”

Adrian laughs as he lifts his head. “Come on Dude enough with that. Just call me Adrian since you clearly know who I am. Deran right?”

He laughs as Deran’s eyebrows shot up. He didn’t know Adrian knew who he was. Sure, everyone kind of knew who the cody boys were but out of all of them, Deran was the least of everyone's worries. He didn’t think anyone even remembered him anymore, especially Adrian. He tries to keep his cool by nodding his head as he looks away, he goes to grab Adrian’s wrist again.

“Hopefully it is just a hairline fracture. Faster recovery.” Deran offers as he gently lays it back down.

“A EMT huh? How did you get into this line of work?” Adrian asks. Deran looks up and sees Adrian looking at him with those same soft doe eyes that he remembers as a teenager.

“Umm well when I realized surfing wasn’t going to go anywhere kind of started doing stupid shit, I actually got caught for car theft and got put away for 5 months. When I got out I just remember wanting something different. It blew smurf away when I told her, I think it shocked her even more when I actually made it but it’s been good. Keeps me out of trouble.” He smiles charmingly at the end.

Adrian laughs as he nods along. “I remember surfing with you. I don’t know why we never hung out, we hung out with the same people. I remember you always being there, everyone wanted to be your friend. I think it is because they all thought you were so cool.”

Deran couldn’t help but snort at them. He remembered it being the other way around. Everyone was Adrian’s friend. He was a killer out on the water but probably the nicest person you could meet. “No they wanted to be my friend because I could score them bud.” He adds with a laugh, smiling brighter when it caused Adrian to laugh.

“Bud sounds pretty good right now.” Adrian admits.

“What about you?” Deran replies, trying to keep the conversation going.

Adrian shrugs as he looks back down to his lap. “I am doing okay. I tried to make the circuit. Surfed the QS a couple of times before I got too broke to keep competing. Been working with Tao up at Real Surf shop. Been trying to take class down at UCSD for Business Management.”

“Sounds like things are going good then right?” Deran remembers feeling like that, feeling like the dream becoming impossible, having to make real decisions, be an adult away from the safety of your parents. He believes that why Smurf hated that he became an EMT, got a real job, and moved out. He didn’t need her anymore and she hated it.

“Hang in there Adrian, Things will work out okay.”

A silence grows between them as they keep looking at one another before looking away again. J breaks the silence to announce they are pulling up. Deran moves to get Adrian set up to leave when Adrian grabs his wrist.

“I like you like this. You look good.” He whispers. Adrian flushes like he is embarrassed at admitting it but wanting to stand his ground. Deran can feel himself blush as he turns away and runs his hands through his hair.

“Let’s get you set up.” Deran answers and turns away. He sees Adrian drop his head and feels a punch in the gut. He didn’t want to make him sad but Deran isn’t one for compliments. It's hard when they don’t come your way too often. He manages to catch Adrian’s eyes on more time and tries to give him a smile. Adrian sees it and gives a small smile before looking back down at this hands as he and J move around him. He spouts out all the information to the receiving nurse as they move throughout the hospital. Once they get to the end of the line he knows it is time to go back to the truck and leave for the day but he hesitant by the bed.

He tries to catch Adrian’s eyes one more time but sees the doctor talking to him. So he sighs as he turns to walk away before he feels that light touch on his wrist again, he looks down at the hand then up to Adrian’s blue eyes.

“Don’t be a stranger alright Mr. Cody.” Adrian tease as one side of his lips curls up into a smirk. Deran felt like a weight leaves his chest that he didn’t know he was carrying and he lets out a laugh before nodding his head.

“I guess I will have to see you around then. Adrian” Putting an emphasis on his name. He finally manages to turn away and walks towards J at the end of the hall. He tries to hide his smile knowing J will give him shit. Hearing the little snickering coming from his side he knows that he is failing and pushes J to the side, causing him to laugh harder.

~*~*~*~

It took him two weeks, a lot of teasing and encouragement from both J and Craig, self pity sessions mixed with weed, and pep talks in the bathroom mirror before he finally found himself parked in front of Real Surf Shop. Seeing Adrian again, talking to him about surfing and life, remembering the cute kid who made him questions why he wasn’t like Craig or Baz or even Pope, attempting to flirt with him at one point. It couldn’t be for nothing right?

With one last harsh breath out Deran finally steps out of the car and makes his way into the shop. He sees two workshop both occupied with a worker. He makes out which one Adrian’s in, noticing the cast on his wrist, a tank top showing off arms that he doesn’t remember noticing that day and board dust covering his hair. He stands there taking him while waiting for him to notice him. He hopes it doesn’t take too long before he loses his nerve. Finally their eyes meet and Adrian turns off the machine and takes off his mask.

“Wha..Hey Deran.” He says sounding like he is out of breath, almost in disbelief. Deran can’t really blame him.

“I was wondering if you like beer and burgers?” Deran spits out quickly before he has a chance to talk himself out of it.

Adrian smiles bigger as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Who doesn’t”

Deran’s shoulder drop in relief as he comes to realize that maybe he still has a chance. “There is this hole in the wall bar I go to and was wondering if you would like to join me. We could you know.. Talk some more maybe.” He starts. Adrian starts to move around the board and starts walking to Deran never leaving eye contact till Deran couldn’t anymore and turn his eyes to the floor and runs his hands through his hair. “Maybe we can you know..do something afterwards.” He mumbles to his feet not sure if Adrian could understand him.

Part of couldn’t believe he was doing this. Deran doesn’t do this, he doesn’t ask guys out. He doesn’t try to go on dates with them. He hooks up and has fun and does not have any strings attached. But then again none of them were teenage crushes, none of them were Adrian.

He hears Adrian chuckle and looks up to see him smiling at Deran, both amused and happy with what was going on. Adrian nods as he uncrosses his arms and lightly brushes Deran’s fingers with his cast hand.

“Deran.” He says quietly “breathe.” he tells him.

Deran laughs as he pushes his shoulder. “Dude come on.” He pleads. He does not need to be made fun of here and he knows that is exactly what Adrian is doing. Adrian finally grabs at Deran’s hand and pulls him to his chest.

“Time and place Cody. I’m there.” Adrian tells him with a smile daring him to do something. Deran smiles as he feels himself wrapping his arms around Adrian’s lower back. He does take a quick sweep around the shop wondering if there was anyone watching them.

“I am going to hold you to that.” He whispers to Adrian as he leans closer to him.

Adrian whispers his respond with a smirk that makes Deran wonder what the hell he is getting himself into but looking forward to it desperately. “That is what I am hoping for.”

Deran knows this guy is going to be the death of him and well…. Deran nevers back down from a challenge.

#Animal Kingdom #Animal Kingdom TNT #Animal Kingdom Fic #deran x adrian #Here is the EMTDeran Request since Episode 8 #Hopefully it doesn't let you down #deran cody #Adrian Dolan #Josh J Cody #Animal Kingdom au

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onlyonewoman · 5 years ago

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Me rambling about Deran and Adrian

One of the things I love the most about Deran’s love life developement with Adrian and his character developement as a whole, is how much more restrained he is when it comes to act out on impulse. I know Smurf and J are the brains of the family and Pope has the cautiousness and, when his illness isn’t controlling him too much, actually the stable part who neither Smurf nor J can manipulate that easily. With Angela there’s another story, but we leave her manipulative ass out for the moment. Craig might be a dumbass, but he’s not very impulsive and I’m very happy he made Deran realise that being even close to a cop bar was a very bad idea. Thank you, for being a good brother, Craig. (And yes, if you stay off the coke and actually start thinking ahead like you just did with Deran, you might have a chance to become pretty decent dad. Well, if Renn doesn’t decide to take off with the kid, of course.) Deran, I think, has shown that he’s not only starting to think ahead a lot more - we’ve seen that develope ever since he brought the bar and began to carve out a life for himself - but he’s also shown that he’s: - No longer living on the edge as he did in the first two seasons. He’s not goofing around at parties or raising hell just for the sake of it. He’s no longer the guy who makes jackass skateboard jumps off the pier to get an adrenaline rush and keeping up a reputation as a badass. - Very much aware of how his family works. He trusts Craig, but that’s about it. He knows that THIS brother has his back no matter what, and in this episode he also showed that he’s taking his advices because yeah, Craig isn’t the brightest crayon in the box, but he’s the only one in the family who Deran knows wont hurt Adrian willingly. - Listening to Adrian. Deran wont hurt kids, I’m somehow pretty sure about that, because that would cross a line that I think both him and Adrian know could be the end of their relationship because, and this is important: that’s not who Deran is and Adrian isn’t ready to protect himself at the cost of Deran crossing that line. They’ve come so fucking far in communication since first season. - No longer trying to deal with things on his own, away from Adrian. Yes, he killed Colby, but it was a big deal for him. He’s not a sociopath and wasn’t in any way comfortable crossing that line. It didn’t come natural to him and, ironically, I think this might be the closest thing he’s come to something that reminds of Smurf’s brutality - only he clearly has a conscience which his mother lacks. - Not seeking a position of power over anyone to just feel in control, as he did in the first two seasons. It clearly became less of that as soon as he got the bar, but I love how he’s using his newfound stability (stable in comparison to being controlled by Smurf and his brothers) to look to the future and not needing someone to control to feel confident. That’s one MAJOR difference from the way he was raised and the development has come, in my opinion, very naturally ever since Adrian rejected him in season 1. I think that loss and the realisation that it was his toxic relationship with Smurf that ruined not just the thing with Adrian, but everything in his life. - Taking emotional responsibility and yes, I know a lot of people are rooting for the original underdog J, but listen: while J is developing towards the toxic Cody webb even when he’s trying not to, Deran has both his head and his heart in place now. J has the brains, but he’s on full survival mode and only thinks about himself. I don’t blame him, but it’s been clear to me that since he left Nicky outside the E.R., because no matter her faults, she was a truly kind person and a good friend who was no more and no less bad as any other teenager in her situation. And J, ever since her dad told him off at the hospital, seems completely fine with ditching any contact with the one person outside the family who actually was nice and supportive towards him as a person. Deran, on the other hand, has gone in the opposite direction and the show has dropped little bits of that developement really well as in: 1. Accepting Adrian not wanting him anymore and staying away after the thing with Dave in season 1. 2. Embracing the fact that while Adrian is his one true love, Deran isn’t gay just for him. (Remember: ”No, not guys! It’s just you!” in season 1?) He’s accepting himself as a gay man, with or without Adrian and that, my friends, is actually a really big step because all too many people denying who they are, find it impossible to see themselves as gay, only accepting that they “do things that gay people do”. 3. Showing that he can be protective without getting possessive. In season one he sent Pope to beat up Dave because he felt so threatened but didn’t dare to do it himself, which was equally evil and cowardly. He didn’t show remorse at first, getting all cocky when Adrian confronted him, but as he’s LISTENING TO CRAIG and Craig actually has some really good relationship advices as well as a completely natural lack of homophobia (he’s one of the best big brother allies ever!) Deran clearly feels remorse and tries to tell Adrian he wants it to be okay. 4. Showing himself all vulnerable to Adrian that night in season 1 after the party - he’s crying ffs! - and when his instinct to lash out comes, he’s restraining it, grunting in frustration and clenching his fists because he KNOWS he’s lost the man he loves (although he’s not capable of knowing that it’s love because he’s so emotionally suppressed) but he also JUST KNOWS that he has no right to demand Adrian to give him something he can’t. I think that’s the first time we see that Deran clearly knows on some level, unconsciously, that trying to force Adrian back to him in any way, would mean he’s becoming Smurf and that’s what he hates about himself. Not the gay, but the Smurf part. 5. Letting himself embrace and explore his sexuality in more healthy ways, experiencing both rejection (Mark Liston) and being the one rejecting someone (Linc). Yes, Linc was “scared away”, but it was pretty clear that the good, hot and sweet nurse wanted to get more serious and Deran didn’t, so he didn’t pretend he was and sure, he didn’t like the guy, but considering how he responded to even the idea of rejection (Dave and Adrian outside the restaurant) and how he let Smurf control him out of fear of being on his own, he’s developed a lot more healthy attitude towards relationships in general: he no longer tries to control his sexuality in ways that hurt himself or others. 6. Slowly taking the steps first towards a life on his own and then towards a life with someone he’s choosing and who’s choosing him. I like how the show presents the domestic life with Adrian as something very natural and I personally think that comes from their time in Belize. They don’t need a getting used to one another being around, because they already know it works. I like the pace of it and how it wasn’t rushed. 7. Letting Deran show Adrian, time and again in lots of ways, that he’s sorry for all the bad things he did. (I don’t remember the actual quote from Adrian but it was something like “You don’t have to keep saying you’re sorry”, which, in case people still wondered if Adrian had forgiven him, shows he really has.) Deran earned his forgiveness by making things - and himself - better. He’s not once shown violent or overly controlling tendencies towards Adrian since they started seeing each other again. No one, and I mean NO ONE of the other characters have shown that kind of self-awareness AND responsibility in a relationship. I also love how the first completely private scene with them in season 1, not only was in Adrian’s home but also at night, as if Deran was afraid to show even ONE neighbor that he was seeing him. He didn’t even use the door, but broke in through a window like the criminal he is/was, because that was literally his idea of getting what he wanted, and how he’s now, three seasons later, not just is all out and open, but is making huge efforts for them to be together and for Adrian to be comfortable (”you need a real bed”), making him breakfast, and then, this season, they’re not only open, but living together as a couple, cuddling in bed in the mornings and how Deran, instead of taking Adrian from behind in the darkness, is fucking in FRONT OF THE BATHROOM MIRROR, snuggling in the morning light, petting and kissing and sorry, guys, but are we really appreciating this developement enough? The show gave us angry, toxic closet momma boy gay controlling his partner both emotionally and physically and while I hoped for SOME development, never in my wildest dreams could I, not even when Adrian kissed Deran in the office in season 2 episode 11 (”The Leopard”) and I’m just asking: were is the reckognition from especially LGBTQ media? This relationship is not only the best in the show, or one of the best in the LGBT section in years, but it’s also in general a really good fucking love storyline. I feel blessed and whatever happens, I just want them to be safe.

#deran x adrian #animal kingdom tnt #spoilers

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rileychester · 5 years ago

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I think Jess either doesn’t like Deran at all, but puts up with him for Adrian’s sake or flat out hates him for what he’s done to her brother.

I mean she like Adrian has know Deran since they were kids. And from what we know of their relationship in season one. It was toxic, dark, abusive, and fucked up. Deran was in the closet and Adrian was his dirty little secret.

That’s not even adding on to the fact that Deran beat Adrian so badly to put him in the hospital after leaving him on the bathroom floor with his pants around his ankles. And then Adrian covered for Deran even then. I can’t see any big sister who loves her brother being ok with someone he’s romantically involved with or any person at all attacking him that badly and then him not reporting it. I mean if it was me, I would be out for blood.

Then Adrian gets better from his Deran beating and meet Dave, nice normal guy Dave who for all we know treated Adrian right. But Adrian still has possessive and jealous Deran in his life. Deran who gets one of his brothers to attack and almost kill Dave and yet again Adrian doesn’t report him. Which must have been frustrating on Jess’s part.

I’m sure Jess knew the truth behind both events, even if Adrian didn’t tell her. I doubt she’s an idiot, she knows Deran, and she knows his family. And she knows what kind of relationship that Deran and Adrian have and what Deran would do to keep Adrian quiet and to keep Adrian all to himself.

She must have been so relieved when Adrian finally cut ties with Deran and started to improve his life by going to school and going for his surfing dreams one more time.

I doubt she was happy when she found out that Deran was back in Adrian’s life. That Adrian was taking Deran’s money to go back to surfing and that they had resumed their romantic relationship, especially since Deran was seeing Linc as well. Or when they move in together because it was Deran’s money that bought the house which meant he had the power in the relationship. And she was concerned for her brother getting back together with a relationship that had been so bad to him in the first place. Then things went pear shaped again and Adrian fled to Jess’s place. She must have seen it as history repeating itself and was super concerned and worried for her brother.

She must know about the whole Jack thing now and even though it’s Adrian’s fault for his own choices and mistakes. Jess who has never been a big fan of Deran in the first place might want Adrian to flip on Deran like the police want. She might also be concerned because she knows that Deran’s family would hurt Adrian for being a CI, even if it wasn’t tattling on them. So she’s pissed off at the world and Deran is definitely at the top of her list. I think she’s just so fearful for her brother and her emotions are all over the place. She knows it was Adrian’s fault for his own mistakes. But she probably sees Deran as a bad seed that has poisoned her brother and she curses the day that Deran came into Adrian’s life.

I mean she loves her brother and Adrian is a sweet, kind, and decent guy whose been pretty straight and narrow. From little I have seen, Adrian and Jess are close and she is a protective big sister who doesn’t like the fact that Adrian is with Deran who used to beat Adrian up in an abusive toxic relationship. And that she might see Deran as the weight that is dragging her brother down.

Because Adrian was ready to quit surfing, go back to school, go about his life. But Deran gave him money, and when Adrian’s pride got in the way, Adrian looked to Jack because he had seen Deran make easy money using illegal means, why couldn’t he? She probably sees Deran as an introduction to that unsavory world and even thought Deran didn’t make Adrian smuggle those drugs for Jack. But he brought Adrian into a world where Adrian was willing to take that chance. And it’s family, you don’t think rational when it’s family.

#adrian dolan #deran x adrian #deran cody #animal kingdom

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bi-lullaby · 5 years ago

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I loved your last rankings so much that I'm sending you another fun (?!) challenge! How would you rate all these male GA characters from your favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed? :) Alex, Derek, Richard, Mark, Owen, Jackson, Burke, George, Andrew, Linc and Ben? Good luck, and as always, feel free to include your reasons why because I love your answers!

Ohhh boy you give me life with those asks! Here we go:

1 - As no surprise to anyone: Alex. My baby had the best character development I’ve ever seen, really, brcaus ewhile it was huge, it was also paced and believable and stabilished and non-linear. He was a huge asshole with a concealed heart of gold in season one. In season 15, he’s a golden boy with a concealed asshole side, and the growth/diminishment of those sides weren’t always inversely proportionate, but adjusted to what each characteristic was brought out more by his surroundings/worked more on by himself. Also, he’s the person that has stuck with mer for the longest and through the most, which would put him in a high place in this list even if he wasn’t my favorite on his own. I also adore how, thematically, he’s so moved by the women in his life (bot just the romantic i terests while we are at it) for the betterment of himself and hsi ways. It’s not like Owen’s “I’ll need her to take care of me emptionally and shape herself to my desires so I can be in a good place, it’s recognizing those positive influences in his life and trying to emulate them/work with them/learn from them. Also about his theme, itms less the worn-out “guy is validated in being an asshole bc he had a tough life” and more “guy learns that his tough life doesn’t mean he gotta act like an asshole”. I love this character so much, ugh.

2 - Ben. A freaking Disney prince would be a sleeazy douche in comparison. I was so weirded out when Shobda decided to give so much focus to this random-ass character, then I was really turned off by his storyline with the cutting people open and all that (not necessarily because I thought he was wrong, I just felt the storyline was handled awkwardly and made him sound pelutant and irresponsible instead of a promissing, if stubborn, future surgeon. I’ve yet to watch Station 19, but this angel with a scalpel and a fire hose for wings deserves his own goddamn spin-off, for sure.

3 - My baby Andrew. Yeah, he is not that developed, has been inconsistent, his change from “freaking out over Maggie being his boss” to “marvellung at Meredith’s every movie even though she’s kinda even more his boss because she owns the hospital” was... A B R U P T. But I really enjoy this new Andrew - as a side note: I could not care less for him during the whole Sam storyline, he seemed like a toned down Jonhy Bravo - He’s smart and sweet and funny and worships Mer like the Wonder Woman she is. His relationships with Arizona, Amelia, Jo, Carina and now Alex need more screentime because they’re great (or have the potential to be so). He’s competent and brilliant and selfless (dropping the charges on Alex even if he was completely in the right, taking the blame for mer now) and so tender (his absolute gentleness in peds, taking care of Amy after the operation, being a moody, emotive boy because he lost his love instead of a macho men...). The future holds great things for him, and I’m excited to watch them unfold!

4 - Not on your list but I love: Tom. Boy is he nice. As I was figuring out this order, I realized he reminds me a lot of my favorite character (Dean Winchester) - or at least what I think Dean would be if he was older, richer and lived without the Supernatural World and so many traumas. His talk to April was so moving and I felt it really helped. He doesn’t stand on a moral high horse: He does what he thinks is right and damned be judgment. He’s empathetic, he’s romantic, he treats Teddy RIGHT. He deserves to have his own storyline and be more developed and show us kore of his awesomeness.

5 - Jackson. As I said in my ships rating answer, I’ve only started to care for him recently, but I really do care. He’s not a character I’d, like, write fic about, or long rants and meta, but I love his sibling-esque relationship with Mer and his relationship with Maggie and the way he connects with his mom and how this spoiled, immature transfer with something to prove became a respected, innovative surgeon and father who’s secure of himself and ready to explore different paths and ways and worldviews. I just wish him, and the Grey’s fandom, would be less defensive about the callout of his privileged life. Like. I’ve seen people write paragraphs upon paragraphs about how Maggie was a bitch for calling him privileged. And he is (for his hoards upon hoards of money growing up). That’s not too hard a concept to grasp. Plus, it’d be nice if he could treat Maggie as less of a consolation prize/second chance. Just because faith (or lack thereof) was a source of tension in his previous marriage, and he feels like changing that would have made everything better, doesn’t mean the same applies to his current relationship, or that Maggie is the one who should change -he learned, learned, and is back in square one seeing only his side of it - I really hope this season treats him more kindly and gives him happiness and peace!

6 - Richard. I love him for his parental-and-ish relationships, specially to Maggie, Mer and Jackson, but to Bailey and Callie too. That’s my favorite aspect of him, watching those gives me a nice, warm feeling in my tummy and puts a smile on my face. There’s some aspects of him I find either boring or unpleasant, and I think it’s kinda annoying how him retiring has been a theme/conflict since, like, season one, and fast-foward ten years and he’s basically an entity at the hospital. Like? What? Was the point? You’ve waisted my time? For nothing? But he’s a solid, reliable character you can’t really hate and who brings more good than bad to the show by far. As a side note: one day I will yell at him for his treatment of Maggie after she talked about HER OWN HISTORY and he basically called her a mistake (although he apologized pretty soon and she forgave him so so will I).

7 - Mark. He was great and all that, but never sparked that love some characters did. I was sad when he died, I loved his scenes and relationships, I just am not invested in him. Plus the immaturity in his relationship with Lexie pisses me off a bit, as does his “man whore” personality.

8 - Link. Genuinely love him, he’s been nothing but sweet and kind and fun and helpful this entire time! I cheered for Merlink sooooo much imat first, and I really wish their friendship will be developed! Him and Jo are everything I never knew I needed. He has no arguable flaws besides being so sculped it freaks me out a little bit, but he isn’t higher up in my rank because there isn’t much material for that yet, but expect a climb as he becomes more and more regular.

9 - Burke. He was kinda sweet and did a good thing for Cristina (the hospital). He was also manipulative and arrogant and voundary-crossing in their relationship. I might like him better if it was bot for Burktina, but we will never know.

10 - Owen. Toxic as fuck, annoying, controlling, disgusting. Those are all things that very much apply to Owen in a lot of situations. Screaming at Cristina for “murdering their baby”? YIKES. Big no no. He was not suited for romantic relationships at all and I wish the show would realize that and allow him that space and breathing time without being stuck in a complicated relationship with loads of baggage or a love triangle. Because that��s my whole thing about him: I believe he has room for growth. His relationship with April is pretty amazing, he was always so considerate and gentle with her, all the time, and I want to see more of that bond. He loves kids and can be really good with them, he has a lot of things to work out with the traumas of his father’s death + war + his sister’s story. Why not focus on that? Why not show him growing and processing and bettering himself and living up to the potential he has? I feel like they gave the all the wrong romantic storylines to the character who’s otherwise really good and that’s such a shame because I really enjoyed him at first. Lets see what happens from now on, and if he gets a dose of tv’s “heterosexual love and a nuclear biological family solve everything!” medicine or if this is a turning point for him.

11 - Derek. He never really had any appeal to me. Not his face, not his personality, not his storylines or plot points pr the actor. That’s reason enough for him to rank low, but I also think he had some really bad traits. He was arrogant and condescending and had a God complex and was sexist and pushy and just not great for the people around him. Exploiting Amy’s addiction being outed to steal surgeries? Refusing to give Mer credit on their clinic trial? Putting ultimatums on his girlfriend that she either has to be ready for a full, committed relationship or end things, then call her a slut when she sleeps with other guys after they broke up? Cheating on Addison after deciding to work things out? Stringing mer and addie along? Not saying he was married in the first place? Pushing Mer’s boundaries after she was clearly uncomfortable with having slept with her boss? Refusing to have an inch of empathy for Mer’s action regarding the trial despite her complicated history with the people she was trying to help (who were her friends, actually?)? Telling his depressed girlfriend that she should be concerned the happiest part of his day was flirting with another girl from the bar? Ratting out on Richard to the board because he wanted the spot? Not acknowledging Mer’s trauma after the shooting? Kissing nurse Rose while building the dream house? Kissing his student while being married in NY? Pushing his wife to move and saying his career was more important than his after he had compromised on letting her shine? All things that, isolated, can even be understood on context and “everyone makes mistakes”, but that when put together, make it pretty clear it’s a pattern of someone with very little regard to the people around him. Was he a good surgeon? Yeah. Great father as well. He also had some interesting relationships and iconic scenes, truly, I can recognize that. I hurt for the people he loved and left behind (and I genuinely think he loved them and meant well), but he himself I don’t miss at all.

12 - I think George is the clearest contrast between how old greys handled matters of sexism and gender and sexuality and how it does now. He was such a sleazy nice guy at times, it is unbearable to me. And he ranks lower than Derek because A) His relationships also bored me while Derek’s could pique my interest at times, B) There’s no talk about his mistakes. Remember when he (in his own words) took advantage of Meredith being on a terrible, delicate, vulnerable place (still hiding her mother’s Alzheimer’s and seeing a person be blown to pieces and being dumped by who she thought was the one and being rejected by her father for the second time after seeing him for the first time in tweenty years) and, knowing that she was not interested in him, pursued her, then after she started crying because of the literal pile of shit she was having to carry around (and still trying to preserve his feelings), got mad at her and everyone sided with him? It baffled younger me to bits that what Mer had “done” was so terrible, it has not stoped bafflinn me in the years that have passed since. Can you imagine any of the girls crying during sex because they’re so overwhelmed and feel like that’s a mistake, and the guy freaks out on them and they’re instantly ostracized by the narrative and characters? That’s essentially criticizing her for the right of saying no, of stopping when she doesn’t want to continue, of not giving away her time and feels just because a goofy guy who is her friend feels entitled to them. That’s the word: entitled. He literally says he “saw her first”. How’s that not Nice Guy 101? I would understand his ego being bruised, but the guilt tripping and the bitching and the fact none of that is treated as a fucking creepy thing? Yikes. Also how he treated Callie, who deserved so, so much better. And even Olivia who was perfectly lovely and did nothing wrong besides having sex with more than one guy without breaking either of their trusts because she wasn’t in a relationship with any of them. Did he do some good things? Sure did! Joey’s surgery costs being cut, helping Bailey give birth, some of his interactions with patients were really sweet, and he died giving his life for someone else. It’s just that consequence-less sexism and entitlement that never gets adressed and gets treated as not only valid, but right, that makes him go rom unappealing to downright hated for me. Better left in the past where people can misplacedly idolize him!

Thank you so much for asking, I love those thought-inspiring asks! <3

#thank you so much #theofficestan #greys anatomy #greys #grey’s anatomy #me #answered #asks #rank

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bookdork1 · 6 years ago

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I agree that I would have loved to see Linc's openness, optimism and cheerfulness contrasted with Mer. I think maybe Andrew is supposed to be very open, optimistic and cheerful too, just in a less laidback and somewhat more cocky and reckless way than Linc? But I'm just guessing here because Andrew's been on for four seasons and I still have no idea what his personality is supposed to be and feel it's always changing. Come to think of it, I feel the same way about Jo, who's been on forever

I totally get what you mean anon. When we had those few eps of love triangle going on between Linc/Mer/Andrew I was most definitely on team Linc. I liked that he didn’t have her up on a pedestal (I really get annoyed at not only Andrew but the show in general for doing this: Mer is awesome but she isn’t unquestionably faultless/center of the universe). I also just loved getting some new blood on the show via the ortho boys, they have both been great editions and already have much more clearly defined personalities then Andrew has ever had. I also love that Linc’s optimism isn’t because he has never faced dark times but rather that he has faced them and is grateful to have made it back into the light. Deluca, on the other hand, seems almost naive in his optimism (he reminds me of Maggie a lot, just the sense of a very young and relatively sheltered personality). Considering all the pain and grief that Meredith has faced and overcome, I definitely think Linc’s worldly good cheer is a much better fit than Andrew’s.

I hate to admit it, but I’ve felt the same way about Jo. Until this latest storyline, I’ve always been kind of meh about her. I’d go back and forth between liking her and finding her annoying. However, Camila Luddington has done amazing work with Jo’s depression and I have gained a lot of sympathy and love for her over the course of all that. But Andrew has yet to have such a storyline: I could have cared less about his weird destructive relationship with the intern from last season, he was affected by his dad’s issues for about one episode, yet afterwards there were no long term effects on his personality. I guess he should get some props for taking the fall for Mer, (Though honestly that whole insurance fraud thing was so ridiculous. Why did she even do it? It was such a first year intern move from Mer. Not only is she more then financially stable but so is the hospital and all her coworkers. Unsurprisingly, Catherine covered the girl’s bills once the truth came to light) but I doubt either of them will face consequences that big, rather Mer is going to begin a crusade against the US’s crappy health insurance and I suppose Andrew will come along for the ride. Idk, maybe if they ever give him a storyline that focuses not on the plot and how it affects other characters, but rather how that plot (significantly) affects Andrew, I could start to like him more ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#anti merluca #grey's anatomy #ga #atticus lincoln

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fuckyeahalexjo · 6 years ago

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can you please do a fic where alex tells jo how he became an intern at the hospital by writing an essay saying that he had testicular cancer?

The wind seemed to be picking up again as Jo nestled closer to Alex. Her hand ran up and down his chest as she nuzzled his jaw line with her nose, occasionally placing kisses on his neck. He chuckled low in his chest, “I need another minute.”

Jo ran her leg up between his, her foot pressing up again his calf as she moaned, “You said that five minutes ago. What happened to the second honeymoon?”

He chuckled louder this time and bent to kiss her hair, “Jo, some married couples don’t have this much sex in an entire year. I’m getting old, I need a break.” He pulled back to see her looking at him with doe eyes, her hand inching lower as he rolled his eyes at her, “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

“But what a way to go right?” When he gave her patient grin, she rolled her eyes at him and started to get out of the bed, “Guess I should check the weather.”

Alex reached for her arm and pulled on her playfully, “You don’t have to go.” Jo turned to smirk at his exaggerated pleading, “I mean, we could just lay here and talk for a bit.”

Her brows knotted in question, “Talk about what?”

“I dunno. We just…we don’t get many days like this and I’m sure there are…things. You know…”

Jo sighed as she lay back down, “What is it?”

“Why are you mad?” he asked as he propped himself up on his elbow.

Jo laughed up at him as she laid flat on her back, his eyes wide at her reaction, “I wasn’t mad. You just seem to have something specific in mind so spit it out already.”

“It’s just…why don’t we each tell the other something we don’t know. You know…just to pass the time,” he suggested timidly, his eyebrows raised pleadingly.

“Ooookay,” Jo agreed hesitantly, still not convinced about his motives. “I hate carrot cake.”

“I already knew that.”

“Okay, I hate carrot cake cause it’s the last thing I ate before I got sick this one time. Stupid stuff came out through my nose. It was terrible.”

Alex gazed at her in disbelief, “Wow, I feel like I know you so much better now.”

She looked on in surprise as he lay back down, seemingly agitated, “Alex? Alex, come on. What did you want me to say?”

“Something��.meaningful.” Jo propped up on her elbow to be able to look at him better and arched a brow in question. She could see his walls crumbling as he sighed and rubbed his face, “It’s just…Linc pops up and you’re all ‘he’s like a brother’ and you’ve never mentioned him once. It just sometimes feels like there are these huge gaps with you that I know nothing about.”

“Wow, okay. Well to start with, I have mentioned Linc before. Maybe I didn’t use his name or maybe I did and you just didn’t latch onto it.”

Alex shook his head, “No, no I would have remembered…”

“I told you about spilling the coffee on that rude woman right? When I was waitressing?” When Alex nodded slowly, “Yeah, Linc’s all in that story. Maybe I didn’t call him by name and only called him my friend, buddy, or fellow peon, but I talked about him. But come on Alex, you can’t possibly expect to know every detail of my life before you.” When Alex sighed and averted his eyes, Jo bit her lip anxiously, “Is this about Paul? Deep down? You’re scared of what secret may be next?”

At this, his head snapped around to show a look of complete surprise, “What? No!”

“It’s not that big of a jump. To be honest, it always amazed me that you took that so well, but maybe you just shoved it down and it’s been festering?” He continued to look at her in bewilderment as Jo reached for a shirt to put on, “It’s fine.”

“Jo, Jo wait,” he tried to stop her, but kept himself from touching her, instead rolling out of bed on his side and throwing on some boxers, “Stop for a second will you?”

Jo pulled up a pair of athletic shorts as she looked at him in amusement, “Where exactly am I going to go in this big of a wind storm?” When he gave a lopsided grin she shrugged and went to the refrigerator, “I’d just prefer to not talk about him while naked if you don’t mind. You want a beer?”

“Yeah, thanks,” he tossed over his shoulder as he went back to his closet to pull out a shirt and jeans, “And for the record, I don’t…I don’t dwell on that, I guess for lack of a better way of putting it.”

Jo snorted as she sat his beer on the coffee table and curled up on the cushions, her back to the arm of the chair, “I would hope not, it’d make you crazy. Besides, you’d have to be a pretty big asshole to pursue me to start things up again if that was bothering you. And you’re not an asshole.”

“Good to know my wife does not think I’m an asshole,” he smiled at her as he plopped down on the couch at her feet before becoming serious, “But like I’ve said before: if my mom had had the chance to get out, I would want her to take it. I will never fault you for that and I understand why you did what you did.”

Jo gave a small smile of appreciation. The pause lingered for a moment before she quirked a brow, “But…”

“You recognized his voice in passing in a busy hallway while arguing with me,” he tried to explain with his palms in the air and his voice rising in pitch, “It’s just weird to me that you’ve never mentioned him, that’s all.”

Jo took a drink from her beer as she tried to not laugh, “Do you want me to bring Lexie Grey into this?”

“What does Lexie have to do with anything?”

“Oh come on, Alex. Your best friend’s sister, who died tragically right before I stepped foot into the hospital, who was your roommate, who you dated….”

“Okay, but it wasn’t like that…,” Alex protested as he took her feet into his lap to rub them mindlessly.

“But still, we were dating what…? A year? Two? And that was after we spent almost a year hanging out every night and you never mentioned her. Hell, I didn’t even know Grey had another sister.”

“That’s different!”

“How?”

Alex shook his head as he stumbled for the words, “We’ve been together four? Five years? And you say he was like a brother, right?”

“And like I said, I’ve mentioned him before. You never mentioned Lexie. But it doesn’t matter, my point is you can’t know every single thing about me. You want to know about every single person I’ve ever met? That’s dozens of foster homes, hundreds of foster siblings, probably thousands of teachers and coaches and church and synagogue members and neighbors and coworkers and classmates. There’s no way I would ever be able to tell you about everyone I’ve ever met.”

Alex sighed and readjusted to be angled more towards her, “Okay, hit me.”

Her eyebrows shot up as she stared at him over the beer that she had just raised to her lips, “What?”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” When the silence stretched, he let out a breath and leaned back further into the cushions as his hands continued to massage her feet, “Fine, I’ll start. Did I ever tell you how I got into the internship program?”

Jo’s eyes danced in amusement as she scooted herself closer, “No, but this sounds promising.”

“For my application, I explained away my bad grades by saying I had a…uh…medical issue that kept me from attending class. My…well all of my family had issues and I really had a hard time making it to all my classes and paying attention when I did go, so I…um…said…well….”

Jo chuckled at him, “Oh my God, what?!”

Alex grunted to himself as he tried to stand, “You know what, this was a bad idea. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“The carrot cake was a catalyst,” Jo interjected quickly to keep him from getting up, having grown excited by the chance to learn more about her husband. Alex stared at her with wide piercing eyes, waiting for her to continue, “I was getting poisoned by a foster parent. I think…maybe she put too much in it. It…it made me sick quicker than the other things. I think that’s why I remember it best.”

Alex looked at her sorrowfully, “Munchausen by Proxy?”

She shrugged nonchalantly, “Medical subsidy. I think she already didn’t like me, so watching me suffer was a plus, but if I had some strange unknown illness, it was worth more.” She shrugged again, “It turned out alright.”

Alex shook his head sadly, but kept his emotions in check to match her blasé mood, “Is that why you have no ass?”

Jo laughed and shoved him on the shoulder playfully, “I don’t recall hearing any complaints before, Mister.”

“Oh no, no complaints at all,” he responded with a smug grin causing her to shake her head in amusement.

“So what did your essay say?”

Alex took a long drink from his bottle, “That I had testicular cancer and…well…”

Jo began choking on her beer, “Wait, wait, you’d rather the world think you were down one ball than to say that your family had issues you had to handle? Seriously?”

Alex shrugged, “At the time I thought it was less embarrassing, besides I thought the medical side of it would score points. You know, explain why I was wanting to go into surgery because of my tragic health crisis, blah, blah, blah.”

She smiled warmly at him and shook her head, “So what did lead you to surgery other than the pride of being badass? Or was that the only reason?”

“Oh no,” he interjected playfully, “It’s your turn again.”

#jolex #fanfiction #alex karev #jo wilson #grey's anatomy #ask #anonymous

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romancemedia · 6 years ago

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Grey’s Anatomy S15E3 - Gut Feeling

In the 3rd episode of season 15 of Grey’s Anatomy it featured Alex Karev as his first day as Interim Chief of Surgery, Bailey adjusting to the change, Maggie discovering Jackson has left without a word and Richard taking on a case of a supposed alcoholic. Honestly this was one interesting episode that had a lot to show.

Alex’s Story

I felt bad for Alex as it wasn’t exactly one of his best days with everyone having serious doubts about his abilities to take on the job as temporary chief as well as having more responsibilities and less time for surgeries. It’s sad to see that apparently no one has true confidence in Alex and his abilities to run the hospital, seriously they could at least show a little support. While Alex may have a made a mistake or two, I hope he tries to stick to the job and prove everyone wrong... eventually, but hopefully Alex can do this as I have confidence in him. Although Alex may have had a rough time at least he got a few good moments of glory when he and Meredith shared a moment together with Alex offering helpful advice as always to Meredith when she has to deal with Cece who wants to know everything about her life. However, the moment that I am the most proud of all was when Alex fired the intern, Vikram Roy once and for all when Roy made a careless mistake that ultimately cost a man his life. It was a good moment for Alex as several people were watching and he showed them that he means business and is in charge wether they like it or not.

Maggie’s Story

I gotta say it broke my heart when Maggie discovered that Jackson had left without so much as a word. Seriously in the last episode Jackson basically proposed to Maggie and told he her loved her for the first time... and he just up and leaves!!! Seriously Jackson What The Hell!? It’s so sad as I really support the relationship between Jackson and Maggie, but I feel so bad for poor Maggie. Seriously, because of Jackson leaving, Maggie is starting to feel there is something wrong with her when it comes to romantic relationships, feeling she is causing the problems. I hate how they are making Maggie feel so badly about herself as she doesn’t deserve to feel that way as she is smart, kind, professional, skilled etc. Honestly when Jackson returns he BETTER make it up to Maggie. One of the sweetest moments though was when Amelia comforted Maggie, assuring her there is nothing wrong with her. A great moment to highlight the episode.

Bailey and Jo’s Story

Bailey and Jo are starting their fellowship partnership together, but Bailey is having difficulty of letting her of her Chief position and is distracted throughout the episode because Alex is still having trouble keeping up with his new responsibilities. Honestly, I think it’s safe to say the reason Bailey even selected Alex for the job was because of Linc’s advice to get someone who will do a terrible job so everyone will miss Bailey as chief and want her back to make sure the temporary chief doesn’t do a better job than she does. I gotta say that’s pretty low for Bailey and she is one of my favourite characters, but not even Bailey is right all the time and even she has trouble when it comes to admitting she was wrong sometimes. Meanwhile, Jo is annoyed that Bailey isn’t focusing on their fellowship and wants to work with Meredith again. I love their partnership and I wish they could go back to working together like back in season 14. However, I’m happy Jo stood up for herself and made Bailey realize her mistake. That was another great highlight for the episode as it’s pretty rare when somebody stands up to Miranda Bailey.

Richard’s Story

Obviously this episode shows that Richard is still struggling since Ollie died in the previous season, only now it’s starting to show a little more with each episode. The way he handled the patient who was supposedly an alcoholic was basically a cry for help. While in the end, Richard did go to Joe’s Bar, thankfully it wasn’t to have a drink... but to simply spend time with some of his fellow coworkers. Hopefully Richard will be okay as I seriously DO NOT want to see Richard go down the same path as he did all those years.

Overall, this was a good episode that also featured Owen and Amelia happily back together and acting like a true family, Nevi (Nico & Levi) moments, Jo in blue scrubs and Meredith continuing her attempts to find true love again in her life. Plus I gotta say the more I see of newcomers Link and Nico, the more I LOVE THEM. However, my only complaint is that we still haven’t seen or heard from Teddy since the first episode. Seriously when is she gonna come back. Owen deserves to know the truth about his unborn child and she has put Maggie in a really bad position. God... I Can’t Wait to see what else season 15 has in store for us this year.

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lincolnbrendt · 7 years ago

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self para || mad world

Day 1:

“It’s only the first day, Linc, it’s totally normal for her to stay out.” Daisy’s voice was always so well controlled that he didn’t know if she believed the words she was saying. She probably didn’t, he told himself. “You know she’s been through a lot. She just needs a break.”

Lincoln nodded silently as he watched the redheads fingers move nimbly through Mallory’s blonde hair, twirling them into two plaits. He must have zoned out when they’d cleaned the blood out of it. That made it easier for him to breathe every time he looked at her.

Daisy left, not trying to say anything further to Lincoln. A gesture he appreciated because he didn’t know if he remembered how to speak anymore. Lucy came out from behind the curtain as Adam’s mother’s voice was heard in the distance. His sister might have said something to him, but he couldn’t tell. The woman he’d come to know as Nicole held out a black coffee from the machine for Lincoln.

“You seem to need it,” she spoke in a gentle voice, smiling at Lucy who thanked her on Lincoln’s behalf. Lincoln wondered wryly how much the woman would smile if she knew she was in the same room as her future grandchild with absolutely no clue. “And Ms. Brendt, dear, I do hope you and your baby are doing well. I can’t imagine what you went through.”

If he’d had any energy, he would have nearly scoffed.

The woman and her husband disappeared to talk to their son and his jaw tightened as he heard Adam’s voice. It was a selfish thought of him to have, but he thought he might have swapped Mallory’s place with his in a heartbeat. After the idea passed his mind he began tugging at his own hair, hating himself for being so selfish but he couldn’t help it he couldn’t help it he didn’t mean to think that.

“Hey, Lincoln, hey come on stop, hey stop doing that.” It was Lucy’s voice that broke through the waves of guilt he felt, bringing him back to reality.

“No no no no I thought something bad I thought a bad thing.”

“What bad thing Lincoln? Lincoln what bad thing?”

And just like that, he snapped out of it, making himself take a deep breath.

“Never mind. I just… I d-do-d-don’t r-r-rem-member.” A lie, but one that was for the best. The concern on Lucy’s face became more prevalent than before, and Lincoln forced a smile. “I-I’m go-g-gonna go get s-some foo-f-food. I’ll be back soon.”

Day 3:

It had been far too long since Lincoln had shaved or showered or done anything to take care of himself. He couldn’t do anything but sit there, wasting away in the chair as he watched the line on Mallory’s heart monitor go up and down. Empty coffee cups sat on the desk behind him, broken poems scribbled on the side as he’d always done for Mallory before.

It was only day 3.

People were still telling him to hold onto hope. That this was nothing out of the ordinary.

He wondered if they understood that the only reason he survived the weeks without her before was by knowing she was a phone call away and knowing that once he was brave enough to face her and his mistake they would be fine.

He wondered if they understood that the labyrinth his mind had become over the years was unnavigable without the light she provided with her heartbeat.

He wondered if they understood that every day she stayed asleep, his sanity fled deeper and deeper into that labyrinth.

Day 5:

Sleep was no longer a concept Lincoln really remembered. He was downing a large coffee at least four times a day and even if he hadn’t been chugging so much espresso his mind wouldn’t have shut off long enough to allow him a rest more than the occasional hour long naps when he found himself bogged down by a vivid nightmare over and over again. Mallory, bloody and dead in his arms.

His knees were tucked up against his chest as he sat near her bed now. He was trying to read aloud from the book of his poetry he’d roughly constructed but the words and letters were floating around on the page as he tried.

In the distance - or perhaps right next to him he no longer cared enough to tell - he heard a nurse discussing his own health with someone who sounded like Logan. Then again it could have been Lucy or Daisy or anyone who wasn’t Mallory because Mallory couldn’t speak.

“We’re concerned that his lack of sleep combined with his autism and OCD could lead to… some sort of mental episode. What we can do is provide him with some sleeping medicine if you would authorize that, to just get him to rest. If he continues this way I… just don’t know.”

“It’s fine. I’ll sign off on it, but good luck selling him on it.”

Lincoln did not go down without a fight.

“Wake me up if she does,” he said weakly as his eyes fought off the darkness that encompassed him, only having been swayed after being told he could end up hurting himself or someone else if he kept on acting like this.

Day 6:

When he woke up he was in a stranger’s room, it was empty, dark and quiet. Looking down at his arm in the dimly lit room he saw wires and tubes connected to it and couldn’t contain the gag working its way up his throat.

“N-Nu-Nurse! Nurse!” He began yelling and not long after, a short man dressed in scrubs entered the room.

“Mr. Brendt, how are you fee-“

“Unho-Unhook m-me from th-this machi-m-machine,” Lincoln spoke impatiently.

“Oh I’ll have to make sure you’re well enough to-“

“If y-you don’t I w-will,” he threatened, holding his hand over the tubes which caused the nurse to come over quickly and begin unhooking him, bandaging the small patch where his incision was. With shaky legs, he stood up and left the room. He sighed in relief realizing he was just across the hall from Mallory, walking the short distance with legs that seemed to forget how to move.

Regardless, he found his seat left exactly where it had been when he left, and his coffee cups untouched in their stacks of five because five was a good number five made good things happen. Tapping his finger against his knee repeatedly he counted them out.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Day 9:

Lincoln was laying in a bed, prepped for surgery after having kissed all of his sisters on the top of the head and waving a goodbye before he walked into the prep room.

“You’ll have to lay down for at least two days. And then for about four weeks, maybe six, you’ll need to take all physical activity to a minimum, no lifting more than 10 to 15 pounds, we don’t suggest intercourse during the recovery time, all around you’ll have to be careful standing long periods of time and take care of yourself.”

“Okay.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Abs-Absolutely.”

“I know there aren’t a lot of other options but I don’t want you to do this and regr-“

“Just take me back.”

“There’s a chance we may still lose h-“

“TAKE ME BACK!” Lincoln shouted. He was uninterested in hearing anyone talk about possibly losing Mallory.

“Okay…” The doctor still sounded hesitant, but the nurse who was pushing his bed had been there when Mallory’s kidneys began to fail. So had Lincoln. Within hours and a few tests that showed he was, remarkably, a match, the boy was in a hospital bed being rolled into surgery.

As he was pushed into the sterile, cold procedure room, he rolled his head to the side to see Mallory’s pretty blonde hair.

“Abou-out t-time I paid you back f-for saving me,” he whispered before they turned his head back upwards and placed a mask over his face.

“Okay dear, just count back from 10,” said a nice woman just behind his head.

He didn’t even make it to 8.

Day 11:

Lincoln could walk again, but instead he sat next to Mallory’s bed right where he always did. He thought he remembered Jean and Eddie thanking him over and over for what he did. He also thought it was silly for anyone to think he wouldn’t have given up both of his lungs and heart and liver and everything he had to give if it meant she would be brought back into the world.

He didn’t remember what being a person felt like anymore. He didn’t remember any sensations other than fear and panic and anger and exhaustion. He didn’t remember having any intentions other than to keep fighting while the love of his life did the same.

His sleep came in waves that day, brought on by the pain meds he still took every few hours. Between the periods of darkness when his mind finally escaped reality, Lincoln wrote poems upon poems upon poems. Desperate for the right words that might bring her back.

“Y-You just keep… k-ke-keep r-resting, L-Lov-Love. B-But pl-please come b-bac-back… I-I-I n-nee-need you…”

Sleep took him away again, unwanted but still appreciated, and in his dreams that night there was nothing. Emptiness, surrounded by nothing but pitch black. It was a welcome escape from the fear and sadness that had wracked his body every waking minute.

Day 12:

A man came in holding a bible.

Lincoln to the side, slightly numb to the whole experience but he was aware of what was happening. They were blessing Mallory, so if she did die, she would go to heaven. It caused his stomach to lurch, the idea that people were making preparations in the case of her death.

Lincoln had arrangements of his own, but he didn’t want to share those plans with anyone else.

“F-Father?” Lincoln has found himself following the man out of the room, limping slightly. “C-Can I as-ask you s-someth-something?”

The man turned around and faced Lincoln with a smile.

“Of course, how can I help you?”

“W-Well I-I um… so-s-so I’m n-not a v-ver-very re-r-relig-ligious p-perso-person, I don’t kn-know how it w-work-works ex-exactly but cou-c-could you t-tell G-Go-G-God s-someth-something for m-me?”

The man’s expression was patient as he nodded.

”What is it, Son?”

”I-I w-wan-wanted… I’ve w-wanted a f-fam-famil-mily my… who-whole l-life… b-but if…if-if Mal-M-Mallory c-c-co-comes-s b-back I will gi-g-give up my dr-drea-dream. He’ll n-nev-never h-hear me wi-w-wish for my own s-son or dau-d-daughter again. C-Coul-d y-you te-t-ell h-him that?”

The man’s face went from patient to devastated as Lincoln finished speaking.

”Oh, Dear boy, you poor thing…”

”I-I don’t want-t-t y-your pit-ty… Pl-Plea-ease j-just tell h-him?”

The man nodded, reaching out his hands to take Lincoln’s. Lincoln barely enjoyed physical contact from a stranger under normal circumstances and these circumstances were far from normal. So he flinched away, curling his hands into his chest.

“I’ll tell him,” the man said, taking his own hands back.

With a satisfied nod, Lincoln disappeared to return to Mallory’s bedside.

Day 14:

Lincoln had to fight for the first time to keep Mallory on for just a couple more days. At that point, the only thing keeping her alive was the machine she was relying on for a heartbeat.

“P-Pl-Please-Please I-I’ll p-p-pa-pay f-fo-f-for-r it plea-p-p-p-pl-please ju-j-j-jus-j-just a c-cou-c-c-couple m-mo-m-more d-da-d-days!”

His frantic voice swayed Mallory’s grandparents, agreeing to just a couple more days. Lincoln knew that in a couple more days if Mallory wasn’t awake he’d fight again and again until he had no fight left in him. Lincoln was stitching together the many loose pages on which he’d written countless poems during his time there.

He figured that when she woke up she’d want to read them. It was a rare day for Lincoln, meaning it was one in which he was actually aware of the world beyond the four walls that boxed him into that room or beyond the line of vision between he and Mallory.

Meaning when Mason Safaatauemana walked in with a pitiful look on his face, Lincoln had already lost patience for the boy who had found such disgusting delight in charming Mallory into a date ages ago.

“Hey, man,” he started as he took a few steps towards Lincoln who, had he had even a drop less of self control in his body, may have growled at him. “I just wanted to swing by and say I was sorry, you know. For everything.”

“L-Li-L-Like?”

“Like... I wish I’d been able to do something to save her, or to stop it all, you know? I’m just-“

Rage bubbled in Lincoln’s head, boiling so loudly he was deaf to any other words Mason was saying.

“A-Are you ki-k-Kidd-kidding?!”

“What-“

“Are you KIDDING?!” Lincoln stood up now, putting a hand over his side with a groan. “You’re going to take this moment right here, this moment in which the love of my life is laying in bed because a deranged madman shot her and you’re going to turn it into a situation in which you could have been the hero of the cards had fallen right?!”

“I’m sorry I-“

“You don’t get to be the hero in everyone’s story, Mason!! If anyone could have saved her it would have been ME!! There was nothing YOU of all people could do!”

The sleepless nights that made days blend together like wet paint left him exhausted and had caught up to him, making this seem catastrophic.

“I mean you, you just... you just run into people’s life and expect them to bend into whatever they need to be for you to fit with them. You never change to fit anyone! I changed to be your friend, to live with you, to get your stupid approval I change for EVERYONE I didn’t have to change for Mallory and you’re going to come in here saying you wish you’d been able to save her?!?”

Lincoln shoved Mason’s shoulders, all of the anger he’d ever felt towards the redhead coming out as he continued shouting.

“I mean seriously?! You ask her on a date just to try to fuck her and then you keep treating her and I like shit like we’re lesser than you because she didn’t want to fuck you and because I stutter and wasn’t one of your original friends!” Lincoln shoved him again and this time Mason held him back, keeping his hand on his shoulders to stop Lincoln from getting any closer. This only made Lincoln feel attacked and he swung, connecting his fist with Mason’s face.

“Lincoln, Lincoln stop,” Mason pleaded, trying to keep him away while also trying to calm him down. “You don’t want to do this. You don’t want to start this right now.”

“Stop telling me what I want to do! Nobody but me knows what I want to do!!!”

By then Mason had gotten them out into the hallway, away from the medical equipment and away from Mallory.

“I know what I want to do! You don’t and Lucy doesn’t and the nurses don’t! I don’t want to be here without Mallory don’t tell me what I want!”

Another swing, another fist slamming into Mason’s face. The redhead clenched his jaw, clinging onto reality so he wouldn’t blackout.

“Lincoln please, please I don’t want to blackout I could hurt you I could kill you!”

At the thought of Mason killing him, Lincoln punched him again, harder than before and this time in the gut.

“Then kill me! KILL ME!!!” Lincoln was screaming now, his voice shrill and drawing the attention of the other patients and some of the nurses. “Please, Mason if I’m your friend at all - if I’ve ever been your friend then kill me I don’t want to live without her I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t be me without her I would rather DIE!”

Another punch, this time in the side and Mason finally shoved him away, backwards and into the arms of Hunter, who sighed and lined a syringe up against Lincoln’s neck.

“Somebody please just kill me I don’t want to live without her please Mason, please please just do it promise me you’ll do it!” Even as he was stuck in the neck with medicine meant to sedate him, it took a few moments to work its way through his large body. “Mason I thought you were my friend please I just wanted you to kill me!” His words were sobs as his legs grew weak and Hunter enlisted Mason’s help in carrying him back into Mallory’s room.

Adam was long gone by then, and they lifted him into the bed right next to Mallory.

“Please,” his voice was a whimper as his eyes fought to remain open. “Someone just kill me...”

Day 15 - Evening:

Lincoln’s sanity was slipping again. After the breakdown the night before, it seemed to fall between his fingers like sand in a widespread hand. Slipping quickly, falling back towards the ground with nothing but gravity to stop it. He was sat in his chair when a nurse he didn’t recognize entered the room. She must have been new. That was okay, he told himself, Daisy wouldn’t let anyone but the best near his girl. He knew that much was true.

Still, as she acknowledged his presence with a nod and wave before going about refilling Mallory’s IV, Lincoln couldn’t do anything but rock back and forth in his still chair. His arms hugging his own chest like that could keep him together as he rocked.

“C-C-C’m-C’mon M-Ma-M-Mal-Mal... y-y-you don’t ha-h-have m-much time-ti-time l-lef-l-left... You nee-n-need to c-come ba-b-back to me...” He murmured over and over again as he stared at Mallory. The nurse looked at him with sadness in her eyes.

“You been waiting a while for her?,” she asked kindly. Lincoln didn’t respond. “Well you know, Darling, she can feel your stress. You can’t put too much pressure on her.”

It was as if someone had pressed the pause button on Lincoln’s life as the nurse spoke. He stopped rocking, stopped muttering things below his breath, stopped existing (at least it felt as if he had). He sat there unmoving as the nurse finished up. She bid him a good night that fell on deaf ears, as he held himself together desperately with his long arms.

As soon as he heard the door shut with a click, Lincoln began pounding his fist against his head, punching himself in the forehead repeatedly until the pain became a dull reminder of how much he had fucked up. By the time a bruise had started blossoming on Lincoln’s face, he was screaming. No words came out exactly, he was screaming in fury and anger and hatred, angry at himself, furious at himself, hating himself.

His screams reached frantic levels, the top of his lungs as he now began using both fists against himself.

“It’s my fault it’s my fault it’s my fault!!!” He screamed, even as he heard the door be thrown open and Harley stood there with sadness in her eyes. “IT’S MY FAULT TOO MUCH PRESSURE TOO MUCH PRESSURE IT’S MY FAULT SHES GOING TO DIE TOO MUCH PRESSURE!”

Blood began trickling out of his forehead now and Harley frantically begged Declan to come pull him away and make him stop.

“OH MY GOD I KILLED HER ITS MY FAULT TOO MUCH PRESSURE TOO MUCH PRESSURE ITS MY FAULT!!!!”

He was screaming so loudly now that his voice cracked and Declan entered the room, wrapping his large arms around Lincoln’s and prying his hands away from his head.

“IT’S MY FAULT MY FAULT MY FAULT!!!!!!!” He was sobbing through his shouts now as Declan pulled him out of the room and Lincoln spotted the nurse who had said that. “SHE SAID IT WAS MY FAULT SHE SAID THERES TOO MUCH PRESSURE I JUST WANTED HER TO KNOW I BELIEVED IN HER BUT ITS MY FAULT ITS MY FAULT SHE WON’T WAKE UP AND ITS ALL MY FAULT!”

The nurse looked devastated as blood continued spilling down Lincoln’s face. She couldn’t have known such a reaction would come out of such a mild mannered man.

“I’m sorry I-“ She started.

“MY FAULT MY FAULT MY FAULT!!!!!”

Eventually, Declan had wrestled him far enough away and locked him into a position which only exhausted Lincoln’s body if he tried to continue fighting. Instead of thrashing around anymore he became limp in the much bigger man’s arms and sobbed.

“I just wanted her to know I believed she would come back she’s running out of time it’s all my fault...”

Harley tried comforting him, using any words she thought may help but nothing changed how hard he cried. Not until he cried himself out in Harley’s arms (who had taken over once he’d stopped throwing his arms around).

“I-I-I-I c-ca-c-can-can’t b-be ar-a-arou-a-around her anym-m-more.”

“No Lincoln that’s not-“

“It’s m-my-my f-fau-f-fault I have t-to s-sta-s-stay away.”

Nobody said anything else, letting him sit there and cry himself dry until he eventually decided he’d sleep in the waiting room. “I ha-h-have to stay aw-a-away...”

Day 19:

It was the end. No amount of fighting from Lincoln would change her grandparents minds anymore. Something about wanting to end the suffering she was going through and making sure she got into God’s Kingdom. It wasn’t an answer he was willing to accept but nothing was when it came to ending the life of the one person he had no intention on living without. They delivered the news as soon as he’d woken up that morning, wrapped in a bundle of blankets outside of Mallory’s room so his presence hold risk her recovery.

All he remembered of his reaction was a scream so loud he no longer had a voice, only enough to croak out responses to people who spoke to him. He sat with his knees curled to his chest, tugging on his hair for hours as the world moved around him without him being present in it. People went in and out of Mallory’s room and Lincoln couldn’t do anything but watch their feet move past him.

Lily came up to him and sat beside him on the dirty ground.

“Big brother, what’s wrong? Why is everyone crying?”

Lincoln didn’t know if he was crying or not, his mind was desperate to shut down in order to protect itself.

“Mallory’s going away, Lil,” Lincoln barely got out past the scratches in his throat.

“Oh... Forever?”

Lincoln nodded, letting out a sob into his fist as he did. Lily threw her arms around him.

“Hey, Mallory always said that when something sad happened, something good would come right after, right?”

Another nod and another sob into his fist as he wrapped one arm around Lily. He didn’t want to give her up, he didn’t want to say goodbye to any of his sisters - in fact if anyone in the world would keep him there it would be them, but when he thought of a world without Mallory all he could see was himself wrapped up in a blanket on his mattress until he died of starvation or exposure or whatever it was people died from when they lay there unmoving for an endless amount of time, becoming nothing more than a vegetable, a burden on an already burdened family.

They sat there embracing until Eddie came over.

“Lincoln... If you... wanted to say goodbye.”

Goodbye.

The word washed over him like a tidal wave, pinning his body to the ground with some combination of horror and dread. Still, he stood up.

“H-He-Hey, go s-sit w-wi-with y-your si-s-sisters, L-Li-Lily, I’ll b-be out s-soo-s-soon.”

The young girl nodded, squeezing his waist before running off to sit with the other Brendt siblings.

“Take as long as you need,” Eddie said, squeezing Lincoln’s hand. Lincoln nodded, going into the room and shutting it behind him. He took his spot in the chair that, at that point, had become molded to his shape.

“I tried so hard, Baby,” he choked out through stutters and a hoarse voice, holding his hand tightly in his own. “I really tried so so so hard, I fought so hard to keep you here. I’m so sorry.” He was bawling almost immediately, barely able to get the words past his lips. “I just want you to be back here with me. I just want to hold you. I just want to kiss you and tell you how much I love you.”

His hands shook as he took the ring box out once more. “I know it’s probably selfish of me, to ask that you die with this on, but I don’t plan on being apart for long once you do, and I want you to have it in wherever there is after all of this.”

He slid the ring on her finger and cried as he held it to his lips, pressing kisses against her cold skin, perfect even as she neared death.

“Mallory I have so many things to thank you for and not enough time to say them all. Thank you for opening the door into my coffee shop that morning so long ago and walking into my life, thank you for changing the person I am, for making me a better - no the best version of myself. Thank you for holding my hand when it shakes and for finishing a game of mini golf with me when no one else ever has before. Thank you for sitting patiently with me as I try to spit out my order and for never being embarrassed by the person I am even though I’m embarrassed by the person I am. Thank you for being the one person in my life who knew how to fix all of the broken pieces of me, and thank you for not just knowing how to do it but for doing it. Thank you for loving a man who didn’t think of himself as worthy to be loved and thank you for kissing me even on the darkest days my mind had. Thank you for always seeing what was best for me and for doing it but mostly thank you for being the other part of me who I’ve been searching for for 22 years. For fitting every crooked edge and every shattered side I had. Thank you for completing me in a way I’ve never known.”

Tears were pouring down his cheeks as he pressed his lips against her forehead.

Once.

Twice.

A third, fourth and finally...

A fifth time.

“Please, Mallory, forgive me for what I am going to do when I leave this room. Find it in that beautiful soul to love me again even in death and to forgive me for being such a coward that I can’t live without you.” He was gripping her hand tightly now, sobbing into her hair.

“Forgive me for not loving you for every moment I could have, and for taking for granted the love you gave me. I never will again. Forgive me for breaking your heart in a way I’ll never forgive myself for. Please, Mallory, when I see you again open your arms to me so that we can be together again.”

As he squeezed her hand, he could swear she squeezed back but he knew that wasn’t possible - that such things only happened in dreams or movies or books.

“This is not my goodbye, it isn’t,” he said adamantly. Tears fell onto Mallory’s porcelain face, dripping off of his cheeks. “I will see you again but in the meantime I love you I love you I love you.” He repeated the words over and over again, sobbing them out as he held her hand to his lips.

He felt another squeeze, this time a bit more real. Maybe even a real one.

“I love you I love you I love you,” he continued, his eyes trained on her face now, looking for any signs of movement. Her cheek twitched, as if she wanted to brush away one of the tears there on the skin. “Mallory?!” He reached out, wiping her face clear of his tears. Her lip moved now. He must be dreaming or dead already. There was no way this could be happening. “Mallory, Baby, Baby if you’re there I need you to do something baby, Mallory are you there?!” He watched as her eyelashes fluttered, as if they wanted to open. He let out a desperate sob, punched himself in the leg to see if he was awake. He was. “Mallory, Baby that’s it, that’s it please, Mal, please I just need to see your eyes.”

He gripped her hand with nearly white knuckles, whispering please over and over to herself. Then, there they were. Her blue eyes blinking against the light of the room. Lincoln fell backwards, tripping over the chair and landing with a THUMP on his butt, he scrambled back up.

“You did it, oh my god you did it you came back, Baby I knew you’d come back oh my god you’re so strong you’re so strong!” Lincoln was sobbing, kissing Mallory’s hand once more before rushing towards the hallway. Before he ran out, he took one last glance at Mallory. “I’ve missed your eyes,” he whispered before disappearing into the hall.

“Do-D-Doctors-s-s! Nur-N-Nu-Nurses! G-Go-G-God-d-d!!! Whoe-Wh-Whoever will li-l-liste-l-listen!!!” A crowd of people, most of them his friends and a few others were nurses and a doctor who’d run to see the commotion. “Sh-She’s ali-a-alive.”

With those words, so much relief flooded through his body that he fell limp to the floor as cheers erupted around him and the doctor, along with the nurses, ran past him into Mallory’s room. He slipped into unconsciousness with the first genuine smile he’d had in 19 days.

#( Self Para )

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foreverfangirl-45-blog · 7 years ago

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bellarke: the hospital robbery fanfic -chapter 1

bellamy is an FBI agent and clarke is a doctor and they ‘hate eachother’ one night clarke is in danger, will bellamy save her?

clarke flips through the last pages of her patients file as she gets ready for the end of her double shift. {read}daydreaming about going back to her apartment that she shared with octavia and sleeping in her nice warm bed after an hour or so of netflix infront of the t.v., that is if octavia’s pain in the ass annoyingly attractive older brother bellamy, isn’t lounging around the place like he owns it... again. already exhausted and run down to the bone she slouches against the luminous sterile white wall of ark town’s central hospital and looked back down at the hands of her watch. ten minutes left...not wanting to get called away for another patient she heads towards the storage closet to “reorganise the shelves” until her shift is over, looking left then right she opens the door and slips into the small room.

before she could snake her hand up the wall and make a grab for the light-switch, two clammy boney hands clamp over her mouth and hot breath rolls into her ear as her attacker tells her to not make a sound or else. slowly he removes his hands but replaces them with a knife, the cold blade held to her neck, digging into her soft flesh while he turns on the light to reveal himself and his accomplices, a tall bulky male with dirty blonde hair, bloodshot eyes and a strong jaw line (dax), a smaller but equally as intimidating woman with murderous dark brown eyes, wild hair and a abnormal looking right hand covered with a grey cloth and bandages (emori) and finally her attacker a pale man, with greasy longish hair, sunken eyes and medium build (murphy). The male accomplice holds a hand gun while the girl holds a small sharp knife in her left hand similar to her attackers.

“scream, try to warn anyone we’re here, or call the police and i’ll slit your throat princess, understand?” he threatens. unable to speak clarke nods slightly, careful of the blade at her collarbone. “good now we have a little errand for you to run princess, we’re here for drugs, unfortunately we can’t be seen skipping round the hospital and checking every closet here, nor do we have the time or the patients to...so you are going to collect 3kg of each of the drugs on this list and bring them back to this room in under half an hour.” “take to long and i’ll slit your throat, try warn someone and i’ll slit your throat, call the police and i’ll slit your throat and trust me princess i’ll know. we’ve hacked the system we can see through the cameras and we have others inside the hospital so don’t try anything and don’t talk to anyone, off you pop” and with that she was shoved out the room.

shaking slightly and pale as a sheet clarke walks through the hospital and tries to look busy, unfortunately for her the two dorks at reception jasper and monty call her over, having no other choice without looking suspicious she shuffles over to them as casually as possible “hey guys what’s up” noticing her shaken appearance monty asks “clarke are you okay?” seeing this as her chance clarke fake whines “ yes it’s just been a terribly long shift and i can’t wait to get home and snuggle up with my fiancé bell” “bell?! as in bellamy blake” jasper chokes in surprise everyone knew clarke hated bellamy with a passion but not that type of passion, something was wrong. “ yup that’s my snookums” clarke replies seeming unaffected by the weird exchange and strolled off to avoid suspicion from her waiting attackers.

hoping that her friends had got the message she enters the first closet and leant against the door as she let a tear roll down her cheek. what would those people do once she gave them the drugs, she knew their faces she could report them and they knew that too. they were going to kill her. taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down she loads a basket with empty bottles of morphine and various other drugs and then paces the room. deciding it had been too long since she left the robbers she slowly exits the room and walks back towards the arranged meeting room, with one last fleeting look at the boys in the reception, who were on the phone talking quickly and quietly she hoped they wouldn’t be too late.

clarke steps into the dimly lit room and hands over the basket to the taller man with her breath held and her fingers crossed. “THESE ARE EMPTY” he threw them to the floor and lunges at her, just then she opens the door and runs down the corridor but not quickly enough cause the pale boney man chases her down and tackles her to the floor. “not so fast” he whisperes as he hauls her to her feet while she kicks and screams and cries out only stopping when he places the knife back under her chin. shocked gasps and screams come from nurses, doctors and patients alike. “everyone get out the corridor, try stop me from leaving and she dies” he shouts while the other two slip out without anyone noticing. a path is cleared and he starts dragging clarke down the corridor towards the exit.

just then a canister is chucked in their direction and thick white smoke pours out from all directions. it invades her lungs and she chokes on the scent but isn’t disheartened as the robber’s grip on her starts to loosen, she makes a break from it and runs straight into a hard muscular chest and looks up to make out the dark messy curls, tanned skin and his usual work jacket with a big yellow FBI print on the shoulder. just then the robber pulls out a hidden gun and shoots at several members of law enforcement behind bellamy and clarke so bellamy pushes clarke against the wall and shields her with his body. like this he can feel her soft curves pressed but against himself and he tries not to let his mind go there given it’s not the time nor the place but he can’t help it. a final shot rings out and the smoke clears murphy is found lying in a pool of his own blood on the usually white plastic hospital floors...

silence is heavy in bellamy‘s car on the journey back to the apartment, clarke is curled up in the passenger seat hugging her knees with bellamy’s work issued FBI jacket draped over her as she stares out into the darkness and the glowing streetlights. she hasn’t said a word since the statement she gave in a trance like state at the hospital and bellamy is getting worried. nevertheless they get to the apartment and exit the car walking up the stairs with clarke leaning a little on bellamy but he doesn’t comment on it. instead he takes the keys from clarke’s shaking hands and unlocks the door, following her into the apartment and turning on the lights, he goes to the kitchen where a pink post it note is left on the fridge gone to see lincoln be back tomorrow evening at latest great he thought as he returned to the living room and switched in the t.v. assuming clarke’s gone to her room to switch out of her scrubs. 5 minutes later she hasn’t returned so bellamy goes to investigate and knocks on her bedroom door...no answer. he’s slowly opens the door to find clarke in her oversized CSI shirt and sleep shorts, curled up in the foetus position on her bed. “i’m gonna stay the night okay? it’s give me peace of mind and I’d gone out to see linc.” not seeing any point in putting up a fight clarke just nods. unsure of what to do next bellamy exits but leaves the door open a crack, climbing into octavia’s bed in his boxers after taking off his shoes pants and shirt he settles in but stays awake for a little while longer before he hears the soft snores of the golden headed angel across the corridor from him. smiling to himself he drifts off to sleep...

“NO” comes a screech, waking bellamy up from his blissful sleep, wide eyed he searches to unfamiliar room for the source of his disturbance and then realises where he is at the same moment his door creaks open. “clarke what’s wrong” he asks... no reply but she’s shaking like a leaf so he lifts up the blanket as an invitation and she hesitates before running across the room and climbing into bed with him. her skin is like ice and he hisses when she curls into him. “i had a nightmare” she whispered into his chest as she continued to shake. “do you wanna talk about it” he offered but she shook her head no and wrapped her arms around his toned bare stomach, snuggling deeper into the crook of his neck. for a moment he was too shocked to move but then he carefully wrapped one arm round her waist and one round her shoulder, combing the ends of her hair and rubbing circles into her skin till she fell back to sleep.

the next time he was awoken it was by octavia opening his door and leaning against the frame with a single raised eyebrows and a smirk on her lips “it’s about damn time...”

#bellarke #fanfic #doctorclarke #FBIbellamy #bellarke fanfiction #fluff #multichapter #the100

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