#Like. tried listening in. mfer sounded muffled like behind a mask. ik there was a phrase I caught; smth about everyone go home.
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Hi, woke up w/o a headache :3 last night sucked but yk it was eventually decided we need to force ourself into taking comfort that we desperately needed. So we went to lay with S in his bed =w=;;
B was in our bed anyways and it was just. Not having a great time in general. Knew his bed/bunk was open but didn't really want to take it.
Well it was very important healing because even though it did take fucking FOREVER to sleep, we did actually manage to. Definitely don't fake sleep when he woke up /lh
But yeah it was nice. It was so fucking important to do. There definitely weren't multiple times where moving the body was HARD (it was comfy but also bruh don't cut off circulation to your body -,_-,)(literally tried to move from extremities to the rest of our body)(tbf the feeling of stretching actually helped a lot to move so that was a win)
So yeah. I'm. *sigh.* I'm fucking tired. We're still scared as hell, I know that much. But fuck, man, this was and IS important. ☕️ hasn't been out as much ig(?), assuming all those urges were theirs (which honestly, makes sense), so it's just been impossible to find comfort. And we needed it.
So yeah. Uh. Ig progress is being made. Trying to... *undo* some damage, I guess. Trying to take care of us.
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#sepiasys.txt#A thing I've read+heard is that your system stuff can wait if you're in crisis or whatever. Yeah.#There is zero fucking way to tell ANYTHING; so it's just. more important to focus on our wellbeing than who is who; always will be.#WILL NOTE HOWEVER THAT LAST NIGHT THERE WAS A REALLY SUDDEN LOUD THOUGHT??#Like. tried listening in. mfer sounded muffled like behind a mask. ik there was a phrase I caught; smth about everyone go home.#So anyways I linked the voice closest to tf2 pyro because literally that is the actual closest to how it sounded—wasn't total mumbling btw#There was also smth else before that but I dont remember that very well so idrc#I do remember thinking 'is this the only perspective I'll ever have?' tho. like if I'll only remember things from my perspective; no others#But then. I thought; maybe dissociation is the reason why it would feel like another's (plus passive influence exists ig so who cares yk?)#Idk big thoughts times be ahead in stormy waters so just gonna have to take it as it comes. or smth. idk.
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