#Like theres a couple of basically short stories and the first one was abt the energy crisis... but high fantasy...?

[siobhanromee]

Im reading a book sample from a local bookstore (it's like 20 pages)... and I really dont know how I feel abt it :(

[muff1nqwq]

sorry i havent been around in a while, things have gotten crazy, im sure you get it. my first day of being a sophmore (10th grader) starts tomorrow and while im not extremely nervous it is also 11:50 at night and i have to wake up at 6:15, ignore the specific time as it is never specific, its an estimate at best.

i have this thing called band camp that has been going on for the last couple of days. basically i play my trumpet (her name is Margaret) for 4 hours in preparation for football season (im in the band, we have to play at football games) idk where you are ofc, so to clarify, this is american football. the concussion sport.

i picked up tarot reading and it's super silly, i would recommend. its funny to think that the cards are supposed to have their own personality. id say that i dont see it, but they told me to shut up once, sassy ass cards...

i havent been hurting myself as much because of how busy i am + how cold it is. a thing about me is that i cannot ever cvt when its cold. maximum discomfort. 0/10 stars. not funky fresh.

my ex and i started talking less often and im kinda glad it happened, which might be mean to say, considering were friends still, but theres so much to do, to worry about that i can barely keep up with things.

anyways, i think thats most of it. btw if you ever dont know how to respond to one of my rambles, id love it if you might just add your own story? about anything!!!! i like hearing from you!

— rin

hiya Rin :DDD I missed u!!

GL in school!! I'm gonna b a Freshman this year and I'm excited-nervous abt it... At least its gonna b the same ppl ( even though the principal warned us abt a rush of new students, but its better than going 2 a brand new school ) I gotta fix my sleep schedule so bad, I stay up till 3am and wake up at noon :'3

:0000 IM IN BAND TOO :DD I play clarinet :3 ( btw I love how u called football the "concussion sport" XDDDD )

Tarot reading sounds so cool :000 i rlly like astrology and numerology ( I'm an Aquarius :3 )

4 me it's still hot af here, even though snow melted like 3 weeks b4 summer break :> but yesterday I went 2 go walk my doggo and right as we were turning back, it started raining, and my dumbass didn't bring a jacket and I was wearing an oversized T-shirt and shorts, so I was running ( in flip-flops ) 4 ten mins in the rain tryna get back 2 my house lolol X'3

That sounded like a line from a book I read a few yrs ago XD ( but I hope ur still finding time 4 urself :) )

A few nights ago I was rlly, RLLY hyped up 4 highschool... Same school, few new kids, new teachers, maybe a new rep... Then I thought abt what my rep would b like. I mean tbh I don't mind if I'm known as a weirdo furry theatre kid, but last yr my ex-bestie spread nasty rumours bout me, manipulate me and my friend group, and overall make everyone avoid me. At least my friends knew what she's all abt and stuck w me 4 the whole yr, but like... What if the rumours spread 2 the new kids and bad stuff happen?? So then I stayed up thinking bout that and at 2am I multiswiped 10 times and I named the cvt Jeffo :3 ( I haven't cvt in weeks cuz I didn't have many Band-Aids left )

Have a good day Rin :DDD

-Muffin

[goosedawn]

i've never listened to Friends At The Table (though it's on my list now, dnd campaigns podcast wooo!) what would the storyline of the crossover entail? with the HermitCraft characters i'm guessing it's chaotic and interesting 😊

:0!!!! :DDD!!!!!!! if u end up giving it a shot i hope u enjoy it! they dont actually play dnd, they play a bunch of other tabletop games which are all really neat also! (also if u need a suggestion for where to start if/when u get to it, feel free to drop me an ask)

the story follows the typical structure of "group is sent off to do tasks for money, and eventually realise something bigger is going on" so i am largely following the plot in that way, where groups of adventurers are sent out to investigate a series of towers that appear to have some connection to the gods of the world. ajhsjjejhfhjef most of my thoughts about the au are more character based,, so instead of a proper plot summary i can give details and thoughts on where some of the hermits fit into everything so far (while. trying to avoid the big twists revealed in the podcast ig,,?) i also ended up including some sleepybees (sbi + beeduo) in the au but im still not 100% sure on where they fit in (as in i have too many ideas djhdkndnj)

ANYWAY uhhhh some spoilers for the universe im basing this off of, under the cut cos it got long :'D

context/setting:

the specific arc/universe that this au is set in is the one from Seasons in Hieron (SiH) which is their fantasy season! (its. its long,, this arc spans i think. 3 seasons? plus a short interlude season)

the setting was previously a traditional fantasy world that had some sort of great catastrophe (the Erasure) happen, and the current world is after people have rebuilt a new society! its described as "post-fantasy, post-post-apocalyptic" its very fun and subversive and afhdjfbj the worldbuilding is just. real good :>

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characters:

im still figuring out where different hermits fit into the au but i am basically taking aspects of various characters from the podcast and splitting roles and traits to hermits, so its all mixed up! also,, there are just. so many hermits,, i have not found places for all of them (not even most of them i dont think) but here is what i have so far:

impulse and zedaph work in the New Archives (a series of huge warehouse-like archives run by the orcs of this world!) impulse is an orc, zed is not! impulse works to retrieve artifacts for the archive, and zed,, hes just kinda there. learning and experimenting with pattern magic (a type of magic done by arranging and rearranging things in specific configurations, often they are obscure and weird things like "27 brown birds in a tree, 5 table legs, 500 buttons, 16 steps to the east" etc.) when the story finds them they are studying a fallen tower in the center of the Mark of the Erasure (a location still showing the effect of the great cataclysm that befell the world)

tango vaguely takes the role of Ephraim, prince of something or rather,,, idk man hes cool and has fire powers, very anime. his powers were a gift from the gods, and he goes on to hv close relations w them! he meets up with impulse and zed later on and become fast friends obviously

joe is an expert in pattern magic, and is on the run from the archives after having stolen a pretty nondescript notebook. its a nice notebook! hes just a human guy. he writes and recites poetry in order to do pattern magic using the notebook!

cleo hails from the city of *Nacre*, where people get multiple chances at life. people from there can get killed but will exist on as zombies, then if they are killed again, they exist as ghosts, and then they pass away fully. she is an undead pirate captain that joe somehow manages to sway over to their side ahjbhfbjf,, she is hunting down the lost prince/king of Nacre.

wels is a pala-din (pal-ah-deen, rather than paladin), a sort of living marble statue that serves one of the gods in the pantheon.

scar is ofc, a wizard! it. it should be noted that wizards dont really exist in this world, people who perform and study magic are mages, not wizards,, "wizard" is kind of a weird term to use sjbdbjhfjjhb scar takes place of The Great Fantasmo in the podcast, and similarly has an invisible assistant! he doesnt seem to remember much of his past...

cubfan works in Velas, a fishing town where the story "begins" he does not enjoy talking to scar, and seems to be sad whenever hes around. perhaps scar reminds him of someone, or perhaps of better times...

tfc hes a priest aagsuijdjhkdgjdkihwhjvd i swear theres a reason for this later,, the role of the npc alyosha is somewhat split between tfc and cub!

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others i have thoughts on but im not settled on yet:

im debating having xisuma as part of the pantheon, but if not, he would be a druid so he can shapeshift into animals sjbakjnsnfjb he would take the general role of Fero in the story, but would also be kind of split with evil x, who captures... a certain stubbornness and deepset frustration Fero has in later times.

etho could take the place of Samol, the first god to exist. he is the embodiment of this world, and is kind of isolated and strange wbhshjhbdbhjdjbdkjn,, strange /pos. hes also. kind of dissapearing though... i wonder why :)

while theoratically i could have xisuma as samol cos. yknow. admin. i think the vibes and role just fit etho better

and... if i had etho as samol i think it could be fun to have doc and bdubs as other members of the pantheon, if u go with their dynamic from the start of s7 they even fit the divorced couple vibe two of the gods have /lh /hj (nho pantheon pog..? maybe. theres a total of 5 deities in the pantheon tho...)

im leaning toward either false + stress or maybe gem + pearl pairs for two of the goddesses in the pantheon, but thatd probably depend on if i can find a better place for them ;P

techno and phil take the role of red jack, and techno is a Huge Oni Dude >:] in canon red jack has a cool horse!!! it fits!! hes also. heavily implied to be kinda immortal?? anyway. im torn on this because techno and phil ALSO fit the roles of some of the player characters, with relation to the missing prince/king of Nacre but im still working things out,,

no matter whats up with them, ranboo takes the role of bluejay, redjacks son, meeting up with tubbo and tommy who take the place of benjamin, the son of one of the player characters. tubbo and tommy kind of. get sent to another dimension to keep them safe,,? and live in a lie for many years before they are brought back.

when i first thought about this au, i also thought about the whole. sending child off into fake dimension to live life, and of course. i thought about. grumbot ofc and originally planned to have mumbo or grian take the place of that player character abhdfvnbrvbn but it also implies one or both of them would be paladins (not pala-din! just the normal religious knight) AND have connections to tubbo and tommy which is. funny but ehhhh idk.

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and that. maybe probably somewhat incoherent train of thought is what i have for the au so far! its. still very much a work in progress so thank you if you stuck through all that!! ive still got a lot to think abt in the au,,,, lots to figure out ;P hopefully i can iron it out a bit more in the future, but its fun to think about for the time being

[seijch]

BY DAY, you attend classes and sling drinks at the campus cafe. By night, you’re known as the Harbinger, an individual with the Gift of shadow and darkness. Your two jobs have never had any reason to collide…not until the appearance of a fellow Gifted by the name of Ace, anyway.

[ read luck of the draw here !! ]

this is an extra post for me to infodump on all the worldbuilding details i never got to fit into my already obnoxiously large fic 🕺🏻🕺🏻 its holding my brain hostage so maybe posting this will help!!!

please read luck of the draw before clicking the readmore !! there are spoilers abound (and you probably won’t understand much of what i’m saying if you haven’t read the fic LMAO)

ABOUT THE CONCEPT

the very core of luck of the draw isn’t actually unique to kenji or to haikyuu in general; in fact, it was originally a part of a superhero!skz series i was planning to write but never got around to. the foundation of this fic -- kenji’s power and the idea of them being opposing forces that slowly draw together -- was originally given to stray kids’ hyunjin. i never went past the Thinking Stage with it, so it was fairly easy to hand the concept over to futakuchi when i moved fandoms.

the dynamic of this fic in general was inspired pretty heavily by miraculous ladybug’s “love square,” but i ... obviously wasn’t going to write all four sides of it so i stuck to the civilian identities (the reader and kenji) and the alteregos (harbinger and ace). in the kpop version of this wip, the reader and hyunjin were coworkers, but in moving from one fandom to another and reworking it for futakuchi, i decided to make them friends instead. they’re not particularly close (they’re definitely comfortable but not close Emotionally) to start with, but there’s potential for something to start!

ABOUT THE WORLD

in this universe, the city is ruled by two major factions that control much of the economy: seijoh, who controls the entertainment/tourism industries and has its fingers in most of the smaller businesses around the city (such as johzenji and dateko) and nekoma, who is partnered with the equally large fukurodani to control shipment of all kinds as well as the food industry (among others). nekoma has allies within the local government, and seijoh all but controls the law enforcement.

karasuno, on the other hand, works entirely from the underground to overhaul the way things are run in the city; it’s a bit .... corrupt as of right now, and they seek to change that. 

at the top are typically individuals blessed with special powers known as gifts. these gifts can be as mundane as the ability to make flowers bloom wherever you walk or as powerful as being able to alter the flow of time. there exist a series of regulations (and a shit ton of paperwork) that come about whenever an individual happens to manifest a gift. 

however, the city’s gifted demographic is incorrectly represented; a chunk of the gifted population are instead drawn to the allure of making money by doing illicit deeds for companies like seijoh or nekoma. these individuals’ gifts are never properly documented due to the traceability it lends itself to, should a job go wrong.

the government is supposedly in talks to enact stricter laws on the gifted, despite them making up a comparatively small percentage of the population. the head of the department of gifted individuals, ushijima wakatoshi, is a particularly overwhelming force in support of better regulation of his fellow gifted.

ABOUT THE CHARACTERS

in the first draft of luck of the draw, the sequence of events and relationship dynamics were MUCH different. in the final draft, you see the alteregos being drawn to each other first before you see the civilians come together. 

in that first draft, it was originally centered on the civilians getting together despite kinda-sorta being attracted to each other’s alterego? as a result, the kiss scene between the alteregos was still there but it was DRASTICALLY different. the whole idea of it and imo moral ambiguitity (kenji and the reader never went official with their relationship in the first draft) didn’t sit right with me at all; it felt a little like i was using cheating as a plot device which ??? no.

to make the long story short, the execution of that (tbh poorly developed) idea was.......less than stellar.

so i took a look at the chronology and basically upended the entire midsection to make the concept something that was less awful morally? that’s what i hope happened, anyway LJSKDFLSD

in the first draft, the reader (as harbinger) was also much less competent than they are in the final draft as a result of having been affiliated with karasuno for a shorter time. in truth, the harbinger’s origin story didn’t surface until i was in the middle of writing the second draft!

when it comes to the other characters:

oikawa doesn’t have a gift, which is rather rare for someone with their thumb sitting so heavily on the city’s pulse point

iwaizumi’s gift is entirely up to interpretation! him and oikawa making formal appearances in the story was something that only came up towards the end of draft two, so i didn’t have the space (word count wise) to really give either much thought

kyotani came into his gift without any control over it, and is only given amnesty because he was found hiding by iwaizumi

i really really wanted to talk about kyotani in this fic but ultimately it wasnt revolving around him + i once again didn’t have space to even tease an encounter with him (so in the fic proper he’s mostly there as a cameo + to scare you as you read into a potential action scene)

aone and kenji actually come from the same company that happened to come under seijoh’s control, so they’re more comfortable with each other than anyone else!

hinata has the gift of manipulation as long as you’re making eye contact with him; unfortunately, if he wills it, it’s rather hard to break eye contact once you’ve made it -- aone made the mistake of glancing at him during the takeover at seijoh hq, leading to his hold on harbinger loosening

kageyama obviously has the gift of ice/hail/snow manipulation to a rather strong extent, considering he can create it where there is none and lower the temperature of the air around him (the reader cannot create their own darkness, only manipulate what is around them)

he also has some beef with oikawa (or is it the other way around?) that involves him formerly working under seijoh -- not one of their many smaller companies, but seijoh itself (much like iwaizumi and after kageyama leaves, kyotani)

in terms of who’s been with karasuno the longest of the introduced cast, it’s tsukishima/three-eyes > hinata = kageyama > reader (but not by much)

MISCELLANEOUS

following the takeover of seijoh, tsukishima finds himself at wit’s end much more often LMAO

there are a good amount of deleted scenes and scenes that were only added in at the very last second!

among the deleted scenes is a scene where the civilians are at the park -- in the first draft, it happened in the middle, but in the second it was towards the end. it got taken out because come the end of the second draft, i realized it no longer fit ...

in terms of completion status, it probably ?? took a little over a month from this to go from Thinking Stage to the 14.2k monstrosity you see now? there were a couple of weeks early on where i did nothing on my ipad and laptop except outline and write, respectively

i definitely got burned out halfway through (which is abt the time i posted the xc2 au .. i NEEDED to work on smth else)

the idea of the clock tower wasn’t present at all in the first draft!! i only really came up with it in the second draft because i’d rather have them meet somewhere consistent and identifiable rather than some nondescript building

the running joke (?) of them getting drinks together wasn’t present until the third and final draft -- originally the scene where ace asks “do you remember our last conversation?” had a different beginning

in fact, a lot of the scenes that are a bit more...emotionally charged (see: every scene after ace’s unmasking as well as the movie night scene where the civilians struggle to define what their relationship has become) had to be overhauled dramatically

ummm i love kenji thats it! none of this would be possible if i didnt have the strongest mf brainrot for him so ... ! theres that LMAO

(theres probably more im forgetting to say ........ if any of you want to pick my brain regarding the chronology or the characters or why i had them say something or do something send me an ask! this post tbh is almost entirely for me but i didnt put this much thought into a fic that long to NOT share it with everyone else)

[autisticstarseed]

if u could, perhaps, bless us with all the applicable symbols from that fic ask for hvh 👀

ooOoOOOoOO Rub s gay hands togehter omg ty friend 😍;;;;;;

💡 - What was the motivation behind the story?

hHH i hadnt written in 10+ years so when i latched onto this plot idea i just thought itd be a good time to jump the shark and try it again !! i just wanted smth really edgy and depthful bc im emo and the rest kind of snowballed

💎- What was your favorite part?

osdlfksd;lf it’s hard to pick a fav but the drunk scene was definitely the most fun to write at least

⛰️-  What was the hardest part?

THE SCENE WHERE THE GANG IS KIDNAPPED BY ENKI,,,, i debated toning down the violence but in the end i knew where the story was going (and where its still going) and that its gonNA be kinda dark so why hold back now ig

🎭- What was the feeling or mood you were going for?

BITTERSWEET AF,,, sort of just treading the line of ‘hopeful’ and ‘hopeless’ at all times to fully portray the feeling of being at your lowest, but with that classic tss ‘silver linings just around the corner’ kind of undertone

🏟️- Who was your intended audience?

mostly all the adults that watched tss as a kid and felt like spirituaLLY MOVED BY IT cuz i really tried to tap into that Emotion Tee Em we all felt when we found out that zak was [redacted]

🔬- Was there one scene you were building up to/knew you had to get just right?

hHH theres actually a LOT of scenes like that and i think a lot of my general motivation to keep going comes from that ‘WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT’ vibe slkdf:SDF but the Plot Twist tm in the latest chapter was definitely a big’n, and theres a few more of those still to come :^)

🗝️ - What were you thinking when you wrote it?

kjdjFSDs:DF tbh whenever i start really writing, [’im shifting into soup mode’ seinfeld meme voice] im shifting into maladaptive daydreaming mode

🎥- Were there any tv shows, books, or movies that influenced this verse, if any?

:^) devilman crybaby pls forgive me for everytHing

📈- Was there a clear character arch you wanted____ character to go on?

i actually have a short list of what i somewhat consider to be the story arcs in my notes !! mostly just for organization and obvs i wont list the future ones but so far we’ve seen the kushtaka arc, the enki arc, and now we’re in what i call ‘the annunaki’ arc.

🎢- Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?

ALL OF IT JSHDJSKD, but again a lot of the enki scenes i was worried would be too edgy TM, and the whole annunaki plot as well i was worried might be too ‘out there’ for ppl, but it takes the story exactly where i always wanted it and lines everything up perfectly so i went for it lol. i was also ofc worried if people would like ila or not bc oc but most ppl love her actually which is so 😭❤️

☠️- Did you consider killing off any of the characters? Did you?

8^) [mickey mouse voice] this is a surprise tool that will help us later ,

✉️- Did you title your chapters? What title do you like best?

yes! the next one actually has my favorite chapter title yet, but so far i like ‘so strikes the harpoon’ since its a throwback to the first couple chapters

☀️- Was there symbolism/motifs you worked in?

o every single paragraph is an overly thought out middle school poem im entering in the talent show actually

🎵- Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?

Yes !! i have HVH insp part 1, Part 2, and an extra one for all those songs that have the vibes but just dont fit enough to make sense in a playlist

📜-Do you want to write something like this again in the future?

probably ! ive learned i definitely like the edgy/darker and emotionally driven stories with ongoing plot, so that trend will almost definitely continue. idk if ill write a dystopia again anytime soon, but i think my future stuff will at least retain that long and heavy vibe

💁- Did readers influence/change any part of this story?

oh yEA like basically i was ready to quit after the very first chapter before it was even written and kinda just got it all out on a whim of motivation but was expecting to flake on it like i tend to do with projects, but the invested response to it was just so uplifting that its what ive been riding on all ten chapters and im so grateful for it :’)))

✏️-Would you go back and change anything if you could?

hHHHHHHH yes and ok this is terrible but i actually tend to avoid re-reading my older chapters until i hAVe to bc i suffer from that sO much ,,, , its just little things like tiny words i wanna change or bits i wanna take out/put in and once or twice ive even caught a mistake or plot hole/smth i forgot to add that i rly do have to go back and edit and i just turn to dust every tim e

⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?

i really liked the northern lights scene!! it was meant to be a pivotal moment of that ‘bittersweetness’ vibe i was talking abt and it was another one of those scenes i had been planning for a while;;;

“ I think of how much the rest of the family would love this. This isn’t like the moon and the sun, where I can see it and know that even if it looks different, they’ll see the same one soon enough, wherever they are. This reminds me only that I am not with them. It stings. It seems unnatural for something so gentle and natural to appear before us as if we aren’t in complete, total fucking chaos. After all we’ve been through, and the sky still dances. “

📣-What was the best piece of encouragement you got?

AVERY ALL OF UR LIVEBL OGS AND COMMENTS GIV ME SUCH L I FE, ,, ,, CRYIGN CAT FA ce

🔦-Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing?

isdfhSDF YEs, part of my hesitation to write came from this thing where i always just assumed there was a wildly high standard of writing in fandom spaces like in original literature spaces, where you had to have like 10+ sentences to a paragraph and you had to describe every tiny detail of a setting and you had to follow every single grammar rule or it was unreadable but like. genuinely its like sculpting with words as long as you have a shape ppl get the idea which is such a weight off my shoulders lol, its still a lot of work but so much fun to know i can to an extent do what i want and ppl actually like it like that. i also learned that like most other writers i have to cause my favs emotional and physical pain,

🎁- Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?

hhHHHH 1. please do it its so fun just give in to the edge my guy , 2. try to get comfortable re-reading your chapters, for me its like when ppl listen to themselves sing/act but im trying to do better bc its so much more consistent when i keep it fresh in my mind and it also boosts confidence when u can pick out the things u like instead of the things u dont, 3. trying to have at least one scene in mind for each chapter that ur excited to write so u can have motivation to update faster! for me it doesnt have to be smth i think would excite the audience either like it could be the most basic thing but just having an idea of it and knowing i want to see it come to life rly helps me stay on top of it all

TY SM FRIEND THIS WAS SO FUN x x )

[b00bconnoisseur]

60 questions for @not-my-brain

1. selfie.......Ugghhhh ok. Imma take one rn

Ok here u go (yes thats a bmth shirt)

2. what would you name your future kids?.....Ooo hmmm well when i was a kid i really liked the names disney, and mesiah. I didn't know at the time that mesiah was another name for god i think lol. I liked it cause of handlers mesiah. I still do. Ooo and maybe Tj too

3. do you miss anyone?......Yeah. My friends on Pinterest from a year ago. My friend lucas. Stan lee. Bob ross. My cousin who died from cancer some years ago. Snape. Sirius. Lupin. Tonks. Dobby. *continues to name every unfortunate death in hp*

4. what are you looking forward to?.......SE-YA next month!! Its the south eastern young adult festival at this college. You can have meet n greets with authors and alot of stuff its the besstttt

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?......DEFINATELY. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @sammchenry my friend lucas and @septembersbloom. ^^

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?..... What like...romantically? Or like a death? If romantically uhhh idk it took over a couple weeks but im ok now. Ive never had another relationship so idk. If death oof yeah idk maybe. Ig it depends on how much i knew them idk. Like when my nanny (great grandma) died i was sad for days (is that alot?)

7. what was your life like last year?.....Sucky af. Still is. But the highlights of my life last year was getting and making friends on tumblr, going to the tøp concert and going to warped tour, volunteering at the library, going to seya and meeting some of my favorite authors, reading, changing and improving my art, listening to all the bands i listen to now, getting into more fandoms, going to a friends house for the first time

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?.......Yes lol. Some years ago when i couldn't find smtn id be so annoyed and pissed id start crying. I dont now but still lol

9. who did you last see in person?.......Hm ig family doesn't count....? Wait do u mean a friend? If so uhh my friends rebekah, anika, and Judah at a TAB meeting at the library sometime last month.

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?......I think so? Like i mean I can hide whenever i get my....time of the month from my mom (talking abt stuff like that with her makes me uncomfortable) and i hid a breakup. And other p big stuff too. So imma say yeah

11. are you listening to music right now?........*pops on earbuds after reading this* yee im listening to bitch lasagna by pewdiepie xD (do i have the best spotify playlist or what?)

12. what is something you want right now?.......To hug @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye but SOMEONE has to live so far away

13. how do you feel right now?........Happy that my earbud still works cause they got washed in the wash yesterday....oops. Its not my fault. I told my dad to remind me to take it out of my jacket pocket before they threw it in but noooooo he forgot

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?.......Uhhhhh fuck idk it was probably from my lil 4 yr old bro sometime last week. Other than him (hes my favorite sibling) i dont let them hug me too much

15. personality description.......Nerdy. Fangirl. "Emo". Tomboy. Hotsause obsessed. Book lover. Music lover. Black. Blue. Harry potter. Introvert. Fall. Sports. Values friendship. Loyal. Uhhhh i cant think of much lol

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?.......*sigh* yes. Yes yes yes. Theres some things abt me, or my life really, that i havent told anyone on here or my irl friends that i sooooo want to so bad but i haven't cause i feel like they'd feel bad and pity me and i don't want that

17. opinion on insecurities........I dont really understand this one. Everyones insecure abt something. Is this askin like if i think its ok or not? I say its ok. Im insecure about literally everything about me. My face. My personality. My socialness. My art. What i do. What i say. Basically my whole body. The things i feel good abt are my books, music taste, and my friends (ily fuckers)

18. do you miss how things were a year ago?.........Hmm this time around a year ago....idk its sorta the same but all the stuff i mentioned abt my year from last year didn't happen yet so nah tho my life sucks rn its better than this time last year

19. have you ever been to New York?........Nooo but i want too soo baddd i wanna visit @septembersbloom !! Im coming for ya soon gramps *does the eye watching thing* my dads been to nyc before tho cause he does construction and he had a concrete job to do there. It was a 23 hr drive for him

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?........Uhhh idk!!! So hard! Maybe.....the whole thats the spirit album by bmth ;)

21. age and birthday?.....15 yrs of age and September 27th 2003 (whats yours brainy? I'll put it on my calendar)

22. description of crush......Its weird idk im not sure if its a genuine crush or not but uh....They like hp :).Thats all u get

23. fear(s).......Losing my best friend @dirtysocke and my other friends. Death. Failure. Momo chasing after me then killing me slowly keeping my eyes open to look her dead in the eyes while i die

24. height......5'6 call me short and I'll fuck u up with THIS *pulls out trusty potato peeler named now steve* dont test me boi

25. role model......Hhhhhhhh so many! But uh gosh one of them is @superraedizzle (youtuberrrr) and vexx and bob ross and da vinci and aaaaaaa so many

26. idol(s)......First person that immediately comes to mind is @sammchenry cause he's super cool and he's really nice and his art's reallyyy good (if u havent seen it w-w-what are u even doin with your life?) And he has a great sense of humor and *continues to ramble about why samms the best*

27. things i hate.......Dabs. Transphobes. Homophobic ppl. Basically any hate on the lgbtq+ community. Bullies. The ship starker. Umbridge. Snape haters

28. i’ll love you if….....U you'll eat pizza, draw, and rp harry potter with mee

29. favourite film(s)......Fantastic beasts. Every hp film. Twilight. The maze runner 1-2. The hunger games. Spiderman homecoming. Kingsman: secret service. Into the spideyverse tho i havent seen it yet

30. favourite tv show(s)......Inkmasterrrrr. B99. The mick. The middle. Uhhh idk mostly ink master xD

31. 3 random facts........Ive never had shrimp. I had a beta fish for over a year once. Im eating pizza crust rn

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?.......G i r l s. I have all girl friends irl and one boy. And on tumblr it seems like i just meet girls? Likei agree with @cristal-kyd1280 its like alot more gals then dudes here. But i do have some guy friends on here too. But mostly girls

33. something you want to learn.......TO DRAW ANATOMY DAMMIT

34. most embarrassing moment........Every moment of my lifes an embarrassing moment. Idk of i can pick a "most" embarrassing one. But one time i i sent my crush (now ex bf) a hey fuckface and like some hearts or whatever for an ask game that meant like "i have a crush on u" "youre adorable" etc and said Hewo but i did it all anonymously. But he confronted me askin if i sent it cause im the only person he knows that actually says hewo lol. Then later on i finally admitted i really liked him and well y'all know the story after i think. Unless you're new

35. favourite subject.......A R TTTT OFC

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?........meet my friends on tumblr. Get into mtsu (college i wanna go to) and study art. And go skydiving

37. favourite actor/actress........favorite actor uhhhhhh probably thomas brodie sangster or tom felton and my favorite actress? Hmmm idk maybe evanna lynch (luna lovegood)

38. favourite comedian(s).......probably kevin hart lol he's p funny

39. favourite sport(s)........basketballllllll and football

40. favourite memory........uhhhhh idk?? One oh my favorite memories was when we went to see tøp in concert

41. relationship status.....single as a pringle

42. favourite book(s)......harry potter and the order of the pheonix. Harry potter and the half blood prince. Simon vs the homo sapiens agenda. Divergent. Maze runner. Twilight. Fangirl. Fallen. Red queen

43. favourite song ever.......TOO HARD DONT MAKE ME CHOOSEEEEEE

44. age you get mistaken for.........16 and 17 sometimes lol

45. how you found out about your idol........i was watching someone on yt and superraedizzle always poped up in my feed and my mom turned on one of her vids cause she always saw her vids too now ive seen most of em i love her. Id heard of vexx but never watched him and i was watching a collab from anthony miller art and shrimpy and i checked out shrimpys channel and was lookin at comments and alot of ppl said his art is like vexxs so i checked out vexx. At first i was like eh ok. Now i cant click fast enough when he posts a vid. And i actually fpund out about bob ross from my grandpa on jan 20 2017 when trump was getting sworn in or whatever. We turned on pbs and my grampa told me to look and bob ross was on and i was IN. I loved it. I even started watching full episodes on YouTube of the joy of painting after that. Wonderful man. My first painting i ever did i think was when i followed one of his tutorials xD (i didnt know it was popular at the time)

46. what my last text message says......."ok your turn"

47. turn ons.....uhh nerds ig idk um book lovers, music lovers, art lovers, potterheads, idk and nice ppl

48. turn offs......jerks. Homophobia. Idk ig whatever i said in things i hate

49. where i want to be right now......uhhhh idk wait didn't i already answer this? Ok this ones different ig so uhh with my friend lucas

50. favourite picture of your idol.....oh shit...favorite? Idk xD i have a fave of vexx but not of rae or bob. But heres pics of them any way

51. starsign......a libraaaaa boiii

52. something i’m talented at......drawing and speed reading. Thats about it lol. Oh and procrastina

53. 5 things that make me happy.......ooooo art, my friends here on tumblr, books, harry potter, and music ^^

54. something thats worrying me at the moment.....if my friend thinks im being annoying

55. tumblr friends......hhhhh so manyyyyyy. @dirtysocke @mysisterlooksforthisaccountsobye @cristal-kyd1280 @chinesewaffles2 @kingantlion @queen-baelin @sammchenry @septembersbloom and more

56. favourite food(s)......green beans, pepperoni pizza, and vanilla madelines

57. favourite animal(s).......basically any reptile. Puppies. Cats. Any animal really but my #1 are snakes

58. description of my best friend.....well she's a tiny bean (5 feet) and she has dark hair, she wears glasses, she doesnt take shit, she's in love with Josh dun, she's awesome, funny, nice (YES youre nice jackie) and shes the best friend ive ever had. Oh. And she has a weird obsession with spaghetti

59. why i joined tumblr.......well i heard abt it on Pinterest over a year ago but didnt want it. Then @mrfastbass-deactivated20181231 on DeviantArt said he got tumblr so i made one then followed him and figured id just post art and that's it cause i thought tumblr was boring as hell when i first got it. Now im p much obsessed with it

60. ask me anything you want.......go ahead brainy shoot. Give me smtn good

[rogertaylcr]

its alright if its long! i asked bc i was curious, id love a long answer

OKAY HERE IS THE SUPER LONG ANSWER, it’s self indulgent and, dare I say, Boring as shit -- but it’s the full answer to how/when/why I started drumming -- it is also 1.5k words long so it’s under a read more

so I started like drumming in a serious way i would say like a year and a halfish ago which isn’t a super long time I know but theres a tediously long story behind it which you asked for so don’t blame me for how long this is cause dude i know it’s long

The why of it is actually pretty short though. So my house is a music house, my mom plays a bunch of instruments and sings and my dad listens to a bunch of music so theres a lot of musical passion (even when theres no talent necessarily). As a kid, like 3-4 like EARLY memory, I remember listening to bohemian rhapsody and hearing the drums specifically, which idk if this is universal but for a lot of songs for awhile i just didn’t hear the drums as like part of the song really, and with bohemian rhapsody they were just so clear, like i could hear the heartbeat of the song. (this was the first song I felt that with but definitely not the only one, baba oreilly was another one that i made me realise the life of the song comes from the drums) When I was .... like 6-7, a beatles doc came on MTV and I saw Ringo drumming during the early beatles years and he was standing and stomping the hi hat and bass and there was just so much movement and power behind it and so much more fun in my opinion than the other instruments and i was like “i wanna be the one giving songs their heartbeats”. The more i got into a bunch of other, new and old, bands the more i was like This Has To Be Me. I had always been a fidegty person who was drumming to shit anyway but like the idea that that could translate into like something palatable and musical and entertaining and LOUD was News™ to me and I wanted to do that, but at the time I only knew a bit of piano and like a single chord on guitar and, like a lot of people’s parents, my parents saw creative fields as really unstable/unrealistic so I was like “well obvious it would be nice to be a loud drummer but I’m going to be a business person” (this is how cynical i was as a child).

the WHEN of it is a longer story, like it isn’t actually cause the actual answer is that i’ve been seriously drumming for about 1.5 years but theres like more to it imo

When i was in the third grade, instruments were compulsory at school so we all had to choose and buy one to learn on as well as basic piano lessons. I wanted to play the drums as “my instrument” at that time BUT my school didn’t have the budget or the space really to accommodate that (i would've had to buy my own kit and haul it to and from the school which didn’t make sense for me to do for someone who hadn’t ever touched drums) AND they didn’t have a teacher that could really teach drums, our percussion section was just a xylophone and some cymbals it was a school of like 2000 kids so :/

So I learned clarinet and then when i was 10, in the fifth grade, my older sister’s friend stopped playing saxophone and got permission to bring her drums in. We only had an orchestra so our teacher had to write her music for/with her which was cool but anyway. She left her drums at school and i knew her and so while i was supposed to be in the practice room playing clarinet i was trying semi-fruitlessly to drum. I knew i wanted to drum by any means necessary but like I was 10 and since i had no guidance (and no proper sticks i was using xylophone mallets) I didn’t think I was “good” at it and when we moved away I took that as a sign that it wasn’t meant to be.

When we got to america I joined school bands (as in orchestra/concert band) as a clarinet player once again, I still wanted to be drumming and i was in a public school by then so i had access to like “school drums” but I was so far behind the not-self-taught drummers in the actual band that I just like decided I had to focus on what I was already good at which was my art and dove into the upper level art program which like GOOD cause that made life worth living but it also meant the only time I could drum was when I was at this one friends house or had access to the band hall and like I just couldn’t keep the improvements i’d made, like i’d perfect a song and then have zero access for a couple weeks (except to like stand alone snares but :/ ) and i’d have to start over essentially and it was SUPER discouraging and it made me feel like I wasn’t making any progress

In the meantime I was trying to get my musical fix by learning guitar/piano and piano came back to me pretty quickly (its gone again now) but guitar like.....you can’t hit it lmao, piano i could slam the keys how i wanted to and get that really great loud resonating sound and i could stand to play and get more movement out of it but guitar is tedious in a way that other instruments aren’t imo, like the sound is loud but the movement is very precise and i never had the patience for that

when I got to college I really had to focus on my art especially the first two years, I literally lived in the studio (im not exaggerating, the students in my major and I had a janitorial bathroom set aside for showering) so pretty much all of my hobbies got tossed aside those two years it was grueling, fun but also hell

Junior year came and i had like 30% of my time back and i was like considering switching majors. I knew i didn’t want to do animation but also you can’t just switch into music at a university, you have to be pretty accomplished already and percussion at my school is HUGE like i would’ve had to be roger himself to have a chance of switching in. On top of that the degree isn’t super useful so I now have my Bachelors of Science. But by junior year i KNEW i didn’t wanna do that, I knew i wanted/i want to drum so I.... licherally................went to the library and printed like 50 pieces of paper each with three flyers on them and cut them up and put them up ALL over campus essentially begging for access to a drum kit. I could only afford like a couple hours on this one guys kit every few weeks for one semester (and then the following semester i did a semester away, they had drums at the school there but i only got access like a total of 5 times) so when i came back to america I did the exact same thing, I put up flyers in the music building and eventually i found a girl who let me use her drums for free all year, she gave me access like last august? I think? and just now has packed them away in the last month or so, and i would literally go into this tiny stuffy unairconditioned room (that had an automatic light timer so i’d be in the dark halfway through a song ahsdkhajkda and a couple times the heat got to me and i had to go outside and sit in my car w/ the AC before coming back in ahdjkahdjkasdjka) and drum for about 6-8 hours MWF and maybe like 3-4 hours T/TR which i know isn’t as much as some people but like I had school work still so I couldn’t do too much more. (it worked out great cuase i only took 7 hours my last two semesters so it was like something i could do while all my friends were in class and they weren’t open on weekends so my social life didn’t get fucked up) and like i know i haven’t been drumming drumming that long comparatively to like normal people who start at age -2 and are born with a snare in their laps but you spend that much time each week doing something and you’ll get good you just like… have to and I like where I’m at right now, I think I’ll always have super severe imposter syndrome abt my skill level b/c of how long it took me to get here and being an overcritical perfectionist doesnt help but yeah

i really dont think its a coincidence that my coming out (to myself) coincided with when I said “fuck it im gonna play drums come hell or high water” but SUPER LONG AND OVERLY DETAILED story short, I heard roger drum and said “if i dont do that ill die” and then when i finally had the resources i drummed myself into multiple heat strokes and i recently saw roger live so the universe rewarded me for all that shit

[uniformbravo]

“quick” life update while i wait for my ipod to charge

(do ppl even still use ipods in this day & age. whats spotify)

i never made any posts abt it but i started the new semester & im taking 2 classes, it’s funny actually bc i waited even more til the last minute than i usually do to figure out my classes & spent the 1st week of school trying to see a counselor to find out if i still needed classes and that’s a whole other story for a whole other day but long story short the answer was no but i decided to take a couple anyway

mainly because every time im not in school The Depression takes over & i just needed something to Do so im taking intermediate painting (even tho painting 1 made me want 2 die every day) and animation (even tho i’ve already decided i don’t want to be an animator????)

so heres the thing, okay, since these are classes i don’t need in order to fill any requirements or anything i had to pick them based on nothing, really, like my main reason for taking classes this semester was to give myself something to do, right. i picked painting because my friend had told me she was taking it so i was like yo i’ll just do that too bc we had fun last time & it’s a good way to stay in contact. originally that was gonna be my only class bc i knew it’d be a lot of work and time but then i talked to my school’s art counselor about transferring to another school after im graduated from here and i’d said i was maybe interested in storyboarding so we looked at schools with animation programs and i decided super last minute to just take the animation class here and Boy what a mistake

last semester i was talking on here about a computer art class i had considered taking but dropped bc it seemed kinda... shitty?? because i hated the way the teacher taught and i felt like i wasn’t gonna gain anything from the class??? well animation is taught by the same guy and hhhhhhhhh he’s so fucking unhelpful it’s such a nothing class

see i was hoping to learn some hand-drawn animation basics like timing, squash & stretch, the fucking bouncing ball assignment, shit like that, right. the teacher was like “today we’re gonna go over the 12 principles of animation” and i was like “sweet i’ve heard of that this’ll be good” & literally he brought up a list, read off most of the names, briefly described a few, and told us to google it if we wanted more info like?? holy shit dude????? thanks for nothing oh my god

i’ve been taking a lot of time practicing animating in flipnote studio on my 3ds and watching youtube videos and i’ve been learning so much more from that than anything explained by my teacher bc godddd. basically what the class boils down to is like. flash animation. so far we’ve been working in adobe illustrator and animate & i cannot stand illustrator. i know it’s a good and useful program and if i wanted to i could learn how to use it & eventually get used to it but just the way he teaches it makes me want 2 slam dunk my computer

the computer art basics class was strongly recommended to be taken before this class but tbh i don’t even think that’s the issue here because i tried to take that class and his method was the same; he does a demo on screen that you’re supposed to follow along and do with him and he explains what hes doing as he goes but he goes so fast that if u miss a step ur fucked 

and it’s not just that he goes fast, it’s also that theres no understanding of the program itself, like ok u know how in math there’s all these formulas where if u just plug numbers into them it gives u the right answer? i always understood formulas better when i knew what each variable stood for & why the values were being added or multiplied together because then it made it easier to extract the information i needed from word problems and also helped me memorize the formulas themselves easier because i could make those associations between numbers and purpose. i had the groundwork of the formula, so i could apply it to all kinds of situations

this class is like, he only gives you the very specific formulas required to accomplish very specific tasks in the programs so i can’t make the connections to figure out how to perform other tasks and i get super lost every time & it’s super frustrating & i could ask for help because he comes around and helps people who need it but i sit in the back corner so he never really even looks my way so i feel like i can’t get his attention w/o speaking up or getting up to go get him & i get lost so often that it’s really just a pain to ask him every single time

i just hate when i have a problem in one of the programs & i just have absolutely no clue how to fix it or even work around it? im used to photoshop and illustrator is just so opposite that my brain doesn’t want to work with it so im. 100% floundering in this class

we have 2 assignments during the whole semester, the first was a group project where we hand draw a 3-second animation (~30 frames) and that was literally the very first thing we did in the class with no prior guidance and honestly i suspect that the only reason he assigns it is to fill the requirement for a group project (which i know is a thing bc a lot of my past teachers have talked about it being a thing) so it was literally just. a nothing project

the second assignment is our final which is a 90-second animation (~1080 frames) and we have basically the rest of the semester to work on it, so about a month and a half-ish? and all we’ve learned how to do so far is motion tweening in animate, basically. i mean we did a ball-and-string thing which was kind of different but it mostly involved a lot of copy+paste bullshit in illustrator & also like automatic shortcuts & stuff, there was really no drawing involved at all

also it’s one of those classes where everyone just kind of messes around and does their own thing like?? i saw one girl reading manga on her computer & these two dudes at my table were comparing yugioh cards & i hear like 50 thousand conversations about anime every day & i mean im not one to talk tbh but it’s just the atmosphere, it feels like u either know what ur doing or u just fuck around w/ ur friends and im in the “neither of those” category and the girl who was reading manga is in the “both” category bc every other time i’ve looked over there she’s got this amazing masterpiece on her screen that she made in illustrator & i die inside every time what the fuckkc 

he showed us examples of final projects from last semester and i noticed that some of them were done traditionally or in programs that were obviously not illustrator so i asked him about it & he said it doesn’t have to be done in illustrator/animate as long as it’s 90 seconds long so Guess What i think i’m just gonna make it somewhere else lmaooo i mean i feel like it’s a missed opportunity bc i have these programs at my disposal & im not even using them but god amn. god fuckign damn

im thinking of animating it in flipnote bc that’s what i’ve been using & im pretty familiar with it by now but im not sure because there are some important things im not sure i’ll be able to accomplish with it like backgrounds (which are another requirement for the assignment) and i don’t want to back myself into a corner, especially with how little time i have to do it, so idk for sure. my other idea was to use clip studio paint but i have the pro version which only lets u use 24 frames per animation which totals out to a whopping 2 seconds so idk if i want to have to deal with that bullshit either. right now im considering making the rough animation in flipnote so i can figure out the timing & shit and then slapping it into clip studio to finalize everything (or technically i could even do that in photoshop, since im more familiar w/ it & can probably work faster there- from photoshop it’d be a matter of copying the finished frames into clip studio to export into 2-second clips & then compile those in movie maker & then bam finished animation)

so!!! it’s a lot of shit im dealing with in this class & im just like. if im doing it this way then why do i even need to show up for class. what am i even in this class for im just basically making an animation on my own time with my own resources using none of the techniques taught in the class. im only doing this animation because it’s an assignment for the class im not gaining anything from. it just seems so pointless & the only thing getting me through it is the thought that i could possibly put this in a portfolio somewhere down the line, and for that i’d want it to look nice and not rushed so im thinking that for the sake of finishing the assignment i might just use my rough animation so that i can spend more time on the “nice” version afterward

aaaanyway it’s um Late for me & i went on about this for too long but i needed to get it off my chest tbh, i’ve been thinking abt making this post for like 2 weeks so there u go. i didn’t even talk about my painting troubles good lord. if you’ve been wondering why i havent been online as much lately This is why. also bc im a huge loser and 100% of my free time has been going into watching anime bye

[thetiniestcicada]

I may be mistaken but did you say you play DnD??? I love it so much and was wondering if you'd ever draw your character????

boy oh boy hell yEAH i do!!!!!!!!! i have, more than one character actually, and i did draw them a billion times each??? i assume u wanna see them and i rlly hope u do bc if not idk what im gonna do with this massive post i just made about them but yUP.... its too late now uve opened the secret dnd passion folder brace urself for the infowave

OKAY SO ill gochronogically bc otherwise id have no idea how to classthem:

First off is baby’sfirst dnd character, Safrané!! Now Saf was made before I understood how to playthe game and he def needs some work but I still love him lots and he deserves an honorific mention :’)) heres a picof my boy

He’s this homebrew(?)race called Phoelarch so hes basically just… a big fire bird person. How coolis that. He was raised by a family of squirrels in the wilds and he loves tosing and to wrestle and he really tries his best!! 

Next up is… probablymy most developed character honestly??? Their whole deal is that they’re a drowcharlatan who has one goal in life: to find and collect the rarest andmost beautiful spoons. thats right. spoons. theyre on a mission to hunt down the best spoons on theplanet and obtain them in any way possible. oh and theyre also a warlock I guessbut the spoon aspect is rlly what matters here tbh

theyre very lanky

Their name is Kui-Yehr Athe and I want u francophones out there to say that out loud and laugh at mypoorly concealed pun (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞

They used to be partof a gang in the underdark but it ended really really badly for them (read;backstab kinda badly) and so they made a deal with an Archfey to get sickwarlock powers to escape from there. Now the cool thing is that their patron issuper chill and only asks them for a few favors here and there, but mostly letsthem do their spoon thing which is rllythe whole focus of their character!! I like playing them bc I get to act allextravagant and use super unconventional solving methods instead of justjumping straight to combat

Also I give them avery strong, very fake French accent when i play them and its great

(theyre kind of anasshole)

After a while on thesurface they first meet kavi ( @franny-bower ‘s rogue gnelf!) and adventure with them for a couple of years before meeting mercy ( @voleusedelune ‘s druidtiefling) ; they form a really really strong family-like bond with them andimprove so much as a person, while still of course retaining that Asshole Quality (tm)

And then kavi’sasshole brother enters the picture and a lothappens but !! ultimately the two assholes end up together, as fate (and my gay ass) would have it

turns out theyre really good for each other and help each other improve so much in tiny ways its great & im gay

Weve worked on all of them soso hard and I love them so so so very much they have such a good found familyvibe to them :’)))) 

Then!! Theres Cináed,who was created after my friends and I took a dnd quiz and found we actuallymade a really complementary team so we just. Made a team of elf-inserts. Theyre selfinserts except theyre all elf variations hahaha

Cin is a wood elffighter who constantly looks dead Tired tm; they grew up in a city and signedup for the militia to prove themselves worthy and despised it

They finished the mandatory training and then builta cabin in the forest to get away from that life, where they found a bit ofpeace and quiet, but they still didn’t havepurpose so when their childhood friend Aiday ( @franny-bower ‘s character, onthe right in the next pic!!) decided to go explore the world, Cin immediatelypacked their bags and left with Aiday, to act as their bodyguard and protector on thejourney.

Also they wield agiant flaming greatsword and its fucking sick my dude hell yeah hell yeah

And then theres Shihab!! My squeaky-voiced drow (I love drows so much fight me) monk who hasabsolutely zero chill

Im gonna try not tospoil anything for the other players in the campaign bc I know some are gonnaread this 👀 but to make a long story short:

 they had a really fuckingrough childhood & were left for dead on the sideof the road, but thankfully they got rescued by a monk who became their mentor andbrought them to her monastery. Shihab lived there for a while and learned kindof reluctantly the ways of the monastery; they fight as monks do but refuse to call themself a monk O: Theyre very hotheaded andquick to fight people and they do not give their trust easily, but their mentordid help them improve as a person and so they juggle between wanting to helppeople and being extremely wary of them at the same time hhah… its veryconflicting and they have trouble conciliating those aspects of theirpersonality  

(shoutout to the huge face scar they got in-game)

And finally heresnibbles, my paladin dragonborn!! I don’t have that much about nibbles yet but heresa picture bc theyre cool too :’))

i could??? go on forever tbh im currently working on even more characters bc dnd is such an awesome sandbox to work in but heck!!! im glad i got to blab a little bit about them bc i sorta feel too self conscious to post about ocs unprompted and that includes dnd characters but??? thank u so much for asking it made me real fucking happy to see your ask lemme tell you :’)) i rlly rlly love them and i hope that translated well enough?? and that u enjoyed reading abt them a bit aaaa thanks again for ur ask and i hope u have a super nice day!!

[sundrenched-smilez]

odd numbers for the lesbian asks! (if it's too many just do every 4th one maybe?)

1. Femme or butch? 

for type, im vry easily wooed by butches tbh

as for myself, im genderfluid + heavily lean towards butch-ish for one gender + have been gettin more comf w that term for myself. the 3 genders i switch between, ive described as sharp, dainty and tired, for reason of not really being comf w gender labels aside from nonbinary. sharp/tired r kinda butchish, moreso sharp. like leather jackets, ripped jeans, dress pants/shirts, defs flannels (which r a given for any mood im in tbh) while tired is like mb softer, more focused on flannels + loose tank tops/shirts, shorts + certain skirts, comfy clothes, and the like   

ive found that i’m leaning more towards butch lately too, like i’ve been a lot more comfortable with pants and a nice top than i have w dresses or most skirts + im wondering if i was just hanging on to femininity for sake of society, so those r things 2 think abt. i still feel comf in them sometimes, but it’s getting much less often. gender’s weird, i still cant cling to one bc of how pressuring that is so genderfluidity is still smth for me + it shifting to different percentages is okay (im thinking out loud @ this point, but its helping so i hope its interesting to read)

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

both, but primarily flannels/plaid buttion-ups

5. Describe your aesthetic

aaahh theres a lot of diff aesthetics i could go into, but i have a tag if ur interested in a visual representation? basically, cosy homes, forests, wooden steps and bridges, cats, girls/nbs, water, plants, and old video game stuff, and clouds/skies. i’m sure there’s more in there, but for a good rule of thumb !! as for like dressing aesthetic, i like to look rly gay + attractive and a lil showy? like my shorts r Short and i love crop tops + a lot of my shirts show my bra thru them, + i like showing it when i can, like sports bra + a tank top is a fav look of mine bc i can make it look like my bra is a trim on the shirt + it’s cute. i’ve been wearing dresses less often, but occasionally, i like to rock one. id love a pair of combat boots but i have like size 11/12 feet + most stores dont carry that size + im hesitant to buy some online. 

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

its rly hard to find any, i have like walmart converse knockoffs atm + theyre a beige/grey color im not that huge on, it kinda reminds me of sandalwood but depressed

9. Any haircut goals for the future? 

there was the undercut!! and i have that down now c: next step is to dye it blue and mb some purple. i wanna bleach it if i’m gonna dye it, but im hesitant to do that bc of how damaging it is, but since my hair’s been cut a cpl time almost all the color is out now, so i think itll b ok if i take good care of it. 

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

i went to a cafe w someone (i think they were nb but i cant remember, it was like 2 yrs ago about ) and they were impossible to talk to bc they just kept saying “im awkward sorry” @ everything and like any conversations i tried to maintain were all one-shot responses, and like that was a lil frustrating. like i dont hold it against them or anything, more in a sense of i was rly tryin 2 carry it and just couldnt 

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

whooh i wish i was taken, i need affection + to b cute w someone 

15. Describe your dream wedding

hmmmm i havent thought much about it !! i know when i was younger i wanted to wear a black wedding dress but now im thinkin mb a suit that switches to dress @ the bottom?? that could b cool. I’d be happy w anything tbh, if im getting married, i’d just b happy to be w my wife/spouse. mb somewhere in a forest or on a boat would b cool, defs lots of good food and colorful flowers. I’d like a lot of color, most weddings ive been to are just b/w and bland for my taste (they’ve also all been straight tho so theres that.) it’s kind of wild to think that i might b married someday, but it’d b rly nice. i just haven’t thought much abt the planning of one. it’d b rly gay tho, probs give out tiny gay flags at each seat, and the cake could b lesbian flag colors. im rly drawing a blank on this, but i know id want all my friends around the country + world to be there. 

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

i definitely want to live in a port town at some point !! idk where i’d like to settle down, ideally somewhere that doesnt get much hotter than 90 degrees + has lots of parks + is big enough for some events, like pride stuff, little festivals, a farmer’s market, and places to do things, such as a movie theater, bowling alley, mb an aquarium, if not one in a nearby town. hiking trails r also good. 

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

on a sunbeam!!! its a huge inspiration for me, and i love it so much. it always puts me in such a good mindset when i read it, and the artist is my age, so it makes me feel like I can also accomplish great things if i rly put my heart into it!! which is such a good feeling, and it has great representation + characters that i love, and its rly gay, and in space and theres ships shaped like fish + its gorgeous : D i could go on for hrs abt it + how important it is to me. theres an nb character too, and like the aspect of found families is one that rly hits home and it helped me get thru a rough time of my life + better accept myself as queer/gay. 

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

adult mom (tho i think they’re bi but still gay), or hayley kiyoko

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i think so, but i can’t place when, it’s been a bit. 

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

talking abt being gay w other girls/nbs is lovely and cathartic, i never got to growing up bc i lived in a homophobic town + i was like dealing heavily with internalized homophobia and body/gender dysphoria so i was ace for a bit. talking more abt like sexual attraction + aesthetic attraction is new to me, and that’s been a process to get to, but it’s nice that I can now do so w/o being belittled or barraged by insult. i also just love the thought of being w someone, and daydreaming abt when that happens is really nice. also,, girls + nbs r a blessing and brighten my day and im so glad im attracted 2 them 

27. Turn ons?

absolutely communication, that’s a need. i had a bad experience w someone bc she wasn’t communicative at all, and failed to tell me that we weren’t dating despite us going on several dates + kissing??? like i wont go too into it, but hatchi matchi it was a mess. so yeah, communication, affection, and like reassurance that they actually want to be with me, and that my presence is wanted and enjoyed. I got a lot of “i dont care”s for answers last sort-of relationship, and that was rly discouraging. another turn on is for them to initiate talking and things, like holding hands or planning to hang out + such. consent is another big one. 

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

i usually tend to ask them out, but im still dealing w internalized junk, so its difficult. i also havent any situations in which they liked me back, which is frustrating. like i got lead on earlier summer for abt a month until i asked what we were doing + didnt rly get an answer, and it was this whole mess. i generally try to make the first move tho, bc i know firsthand how difficult it is, but that being said, it’s still hard for me to know for sure if theyre interested + i dont wanna make things uncomf w them, so i’ll wait until i think there might b attraction. that being said, once that’s all out of the way, i like to consider myself a good flirt when im trying. 

31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!

i have lots of interests!! im obsessed w steven universe, its my fav show (and if u ever have time, we should totally watch it together sometime, i rly think you’d love it, it’s super gay + heartwarming.) i really love playing music and learning new songs, which im rly great at memorizing. talking to friends + gettin 2 know them better is always nice and fun. i like to draw new things + see the different ways ppl draw, so seeing art on here is always fun for me. i’m also rly into polygon videos (it’s a youtube channel, not like videos abt polygon haha) and this podcast called the adventure zone. season one just ended, so i might start listening to another one called friends at the table. i rly wanna start a podcast w someone, but can never find anyone to start it with. idk what I’d talk abt but if i could find a partner for it, i think it’d be a lot of fun. mb smth abt games or books/queer representation in media. doing a dnd podcast would also b rly fun, but a lot of work + editing so mb later down the road !! im blanking on other interests atm, but animations and cartoons r lovely and i aim to make something in that field one day, if not just a comic.

my hobbies r mostlyyyy drawing, dnd things now every thursday, hanging w my friends, playing video games, sometimes writing (i rly wanna start a comic, and im tryin to get my butt into gear on it), goin to parks, listening to music, and goin 2 events w roe + cesar, two of my friends. sometimes ill play music!! i need to get more than the keyboard i’m lending, but i love performing. ill also watch leg birds on youtube, theyre a lesbian couple that plays gams + theyre rly sweet. 

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

its easy for me to love friends, doesnt usu take me more than a few months of knowing them if were talking a lot. as for falling in love, that takes me a lot longer. ive never rly been in love w someone. i thought i was once, but rly it was just my first gay experience w someone and i wanted it to be perfect so i projected a lot of things + made it better than it seemed to myself for the duration of it, which wasn’t healthy, so i wanna avoid doing that again, + take things slower next time. or at least for what they are. 

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?

a few times, they were just crushes tho, so it wasnt too too bad

37. Favorite comfort food?

hot cocoa or tea. as for food food, i dont think i have one. mb french toast or cinnamon rolls. 

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

i used to be a vegetarian!! for like a yr, but it was difficult for me to eat and feel full, and i was pretty underweight, so i stopped. 

41. Early-riser or night-owl?

both, i tend to stay up, but getting up early can be nice if i dont have to do anything. like just gently waking + making some tea and a nice breakfast + sittin around for a bit. 

43. What is your Myers-Briggs type?

enfp-a 

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i think like 16-17? it took me a bit to get words for identity, like lesbian/nonbinary and the like, but i always knew, like id call myself an individual as opposed to gendered terms that i was referred to, and always felt rly yucky w deadname + the wrong pronouns

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

ive got one crush atm !! and another person who seems nice, but i wanna hang out w before like thinking abt a crush (im poly, which perhaps goes w/o saying, but i always like to state it when talking abt these things, jic )

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

i’d like a partner or two, to get some bongos- i got to play some a couple weeks ago, and it was the most fun i’ve had playing anything!! having smth with an instant response that i could make up rhythms with was really rewarding and so much fun. i know i want a cat at some point, to go on cute dates + cuddle and kiss a lot w someone, to visit my friends in other places, dye my hair, get a better job, to travel a bit, make a comic, go to college for animation and storyboarding, mb go to camp at some point, and I’d like to make some more friends here, i’m already making some, which i’m super happy about, but it’s always nice meeting new ppl 

thank u for asking!! this was relaxing + fun, and a lot of the topics were cathartic to talk about, and i needed it. so thanks for listening too kinda

also im queen of commas, i’ve discovered while typing this

[grogblogging-follows]

so i went to see wonder woman – here are my thoughts, spoiler-free

first off: i know gal gadot is Super Not Great and i don’t want to touch that whole thing with a bargepole because it’s really not my place. i went to see this movie because it’s the first female superhero movie & that’s really important to me, but i totally understand not wanting to support it because of her.

but on to the actual movie.

i have super super mixed feelings, honestly. im so happy there’s finally a female superhero movie, about fuckin time honestly, & i got !! at several points in the movie bc its a lady!! doing what only men have done so far!! yes!! nothing that bothers me abt the movie remotely takes away from this fact; the bottom line is, thank fuck this movie has finally been made, and thank fuck it’s decent.

diana is amazing. she kicks ass & the movie shows us how powerful, badass, skilled, and just straight up determined she is. i can think of the number of female protagonists who are allowed to be just as kickass as she is on one hand. it’s also important to note that she’s not just the “sexy badass” trope; she’s allowed moments of real vulnerability and uncertainty too. her acting isn’t the greatest, unfortunately, and she’s kinda shown up by the rest of the cast who are all great characters brilliantly acted. in comparison, her character (and acting) can feel a little one-dimensional, which is unfortunate, but not bad enough to really affect the movie all that much.

the plot is a superhero plot. it’s tropey and predictable, the twists can be seen from literally miles away, there are conveninent plotholes & movie logic all over the place, and the final, climactic battle is the least interesting fight of the movie. some scenes go on a little too long, some jokes are set up for a while but fail to properly deliver; in general the script could do with a little tightening up. it holds the movie back from being truly great, which is a shame, but again it’s not something that ruins it at all.

this is a feminist movie, there’s no doubt about that. diana is independent and has no problem telling men to fuck off when they’re trying to decide what she should or shouldn’t do. but. and there is a but here. there are several things that detract from that.

first is the costume design. all the amazons are gorgeous and badass and their armour leaves little to the imagination. it doesn’t offer good protection remotely (there are even a couple of examples of the infamous boob cups), and it’s iffy whether they’re even practical to fight in (short skirts offer a good range of movement, sure, but heels, diana?). as a feminist im kinda disappointed; as a wlw i had an absolute blast. the only thing that did really bother me about these outfits is the camera work: the first shot we see of diana pans up from her heels, in a classic misogynistic reducing-a-woman-to-her-appearance shot (we see her body before we see her face); later, when we see the amazonians fighting, and its like theres there women doing amazing athletic leaps and oh look! the camera was perfectly positioned to see her butt. great.

neither of these are Massive Issues remotely; i wasn’t aware of either of them really beyond the first couple of scenes. the rest of diana’s fights we get to see a whole lot of upper thigh but again, im gay, and also it felt like the camera was more interested in her skill as a warrior than her sex appeal. i might be wrong, but that’s my take away. she is sexualised in dialogue, though, with several references to how attractive she is (i counted three, i think? so not terrible, but enough that i noticed it).

another potential issue is the romance. steve (chris pine) is no white knight; he can hold his own in a fight but he’s nothing like diana, and she comes to his rescue on multiple occasions. but i did feel he got a teensy tiny bit too much attention in the movie. he’s not the main character by any means, but he is in almost every scene after his first appearance (pretty darn early on), and he does get several important story/emotional beats, as well as shared credit for a lot of diana’s achievements. i’d also be interested whether he has more lines than diana; honestly it might be touch and go.

the final thing that i noticed, and the only thing that actually properly bothered me, was the way diana was characterised as the source of most of the movie’s comedy. remember that video that went around recently about the ‘born sexy yesterday’ trope? y e p. diana has no understanding of our world, needing basic things explaining to her, and, worst of all, is into the very first man she meets ever in her entire life. her faux pas in this world are amusing, theyre sweet, theyre honestly even really pure and lovely at points, but there’s too much of it. i’ve been trying to work out in my head how exactly it differs from thor’s inexperience of the world in his first movie, which was also played for laughs. i haven’t hit on exactly how it’s different – although i know it is – but i think the sex thing definitely plays a part. diana implies she’s not a virgin (also the only line that implies she and the other amazons aren’t straight), but she’s consistently shown to be unexperienced, using weird terms for sex and relationships, being confused by courtship tropes, and arguably being unaware of men’s attraction to her. it’s not awful, and it does provide some of the only comedy in the movie (which gets pretty fuckin dark in places, it’s ww1 and it’s not pretty). i do think it’s handled poorly, and at the very least overdone, which is a real shame.

honestly, in a plot twist that surprised everyone, diana and the whole feminism aspect of the movie weren’t what i liked best about it. i’d only seen a bit of one trailer and no other promotional material, so i don’t know whether i would’ve realised this if i had seen more, but i was so pleasantly surprised to see not only how diverse the supporting cast was, but unfraid the script was to get real about racial issues. a first nations man talks about the atrocities committed against aboriginal americans and gets taken seriously; a french-moroccan speaks candidly about racism. i don’t want to big this up too much – these are both single lines, not the focus of a scene or anything – but i did appreciate that these moments were included. this isn’t colourblind casting; it’s great that half the supporting cast are characters of colour, but even better that this isn’t just passed over without comment or made into a trope or charicature. the movie did really well in this regard, i think, and i am really pleased to see it.

all in all, a historic film, a decent movie, disappointing in a few places but very pleasantly surprising in others. it’s not my favourite movie ever, and i won’t be rushing out to see it again, but none of its faults could ever remotely detract from my excitement at there finally being a female superhero movie. about time, y’all.

[leeoliver]

5, 8, 14, 19, 39 iunia and/or ezra

(char dev)

5. how do they dress? what styles, colors, accessories, and other possessions do they favor? why?

tbh itd be much more interesting to talk abt how iunia used to dress bcos now shes either wearing armor or her pharasma robes (which are like fancy funeral wear) she and wesviz were honestly like. fashion icons who wore an embarrassing amount of matching couples outfits. she really likes wearing like coral and salmon and peach bcos she feels like her skins too pale but those sort of warm pink and orangish tones bring color back into it. and shed do like dramatic bright makeup, especially eyes (lips were usually a solid tone bcos she and wesviz would match their lip colors to each others shirts) but stopped wearing makeup when she got pregnant bcos she remembered hearing like 10 years ago that wearing makeup when pregnant was bad for the kid. also her hair used to be really long like almost waist length and she cut it really short after wesviz died and kept it short while she was looking for cens and is only just now starting to grow it out again.

(human) ezras got like. a meticulous aesthetic going on that probs takes way more effort than they care to admit in the wasteland. they keep their clothes really really clean, though that starts to get hard after a while, and know enough basic sewing to mend any rips that occur moderately well. anyway its generally like cream/beige/brown/sometimes like yellow or like burnt orange turtlenecks and then prewar dress slacks and loafers. occasionally they wear like a white button down and like dark yellow sweater vest and bowtie, but thats for like special occasions. they definitely shine their shoes. as a ghoul the kind of start to let themself go, wearing this really big cloak w a hood so they can hide their face and stuff but it turns out that a six and a half ft tall figure of ambiguous species in a long menacing cloak and hood draws more attention than a six and a half ft tall ghoul in a tan prewar suit, so theyre doing better now.

8. where and when do they seem most and least at ease? why? how can you tell?

iunia knows a delivery table like the back of her hand. she can get like kind of intense when shes in the birthing zone, really barking orders but you definitely get the sense she knows what shes doing and is in total control of the situation. like shes super deep in her element. its pretty impressive. def uncomfortable in like wilderness or survival areas, prior to the events of coct shes never in her life been outside city limits. constantly looking around her and over her shoulder, holds her gear really tight if shes carrying any.

ezras really good in really pristine, regulated places like the vault. a lot of ppl would consider something that like regulated and controlled dystopian or monotonous but they fit really well into the machine. ezra as a person can get into fanatical territory really really quickly so like all hail the overseer and that sort of thing is something they really get into. so they of course like really have no idea how to act in a lot of more like rough and tumble sort of rugged wasteland towns. it was the first time theyd sort of been in a situation where a lethal fight or something breaking out was an actual possibility, and it scared them half to death.

14. What do they care deeply about? What kind of loyalties, commitments, moral codes, life philosophies, passions, callings, or spirituality and faith do they have? How do these tend to be expressed?

mm iunias really conflicted here bcos she always feels like the temple and stuff should be her number one priority, that her past life is exactly that–in the past. but at the same time i feel like if theres a situation where she has to choose between her goddess and her son (and knowing how devious avery is, im fully expecting there will be) shed go with the latter. no matter what. in terms of more like general talk on faith and spirituality, shes definitely very devout and she can absolutely come off as like im blanking on the word like pushing OH proselytizing she can come off as proselytizing but i feel like so much of it is unconscious? like even if shes not actively trying to like convert someone her faith is such a huge part of her identity and it bleeds into a lot of how she interacts w the world.

lmao iunia and ezra just happen to be like my two most religious characters so good question. ezra is like unbearably classic lawful good they just really want to help people like definitely in terms of humanitarian aid but also smaller stuff like being really nice to people, making themself available as a shoulder to cry on, things like that. wrt religion ezras definitely very devout but they feel. super uncomfortable discussing faith w anyone other than their dad (and i havent finished fo3 but if theres another character whos very into like faith and stuff them too) so for them its more below the surface, esp compared w iunia

19. how do they behave within a group? what role(s) do they take? does this differ if they know and trust the group, versus finding themselves in a group of strangers? why?

iunia is definitely really like cold professional, but the best way to work w her is to give her a job and then just dont interfere w however she does it. i dont think id consider her a leader, but shes good at like timetables and organization so its definitely helpful to have her in a position where she can keep everyone on track in some capacity. i think the only change were the group to go from strangers to friends is that shes a little more flexible and willing to get input from friends whereas if a stranger (who often times would be 15~ yrs younger than her) did anything to imply that she wasnt competent shed be like. like you shouldnt do that. iunias so many things but incompetent is so incredibly not one of them.

ezras definitely gonna work better in a small group where theres not a lot of variation in goals and morals (theyre pretty flexible on specific means and stuff of getting a job done, with some hard rules on violence and stuff) and a lot of the time w/o a definite leader. if there is a leader theyve gotta play into that like zealous god-worshipping side of ezra and be like larger than life if they want unwavering support.

39. what sort of questions or thoughts recur in their lives, either specifically or as a theme? why are these never answered, or answered permanently to their satisfaction?

iunia wants to know why everyone leaves her. and given that her ongoing story is yet to start, i cant quite answer the second part of that question.

ezra deals a lot i guess w sense of self and identity? they definitely struggle w navigating life w/o their dad, both when he leaves the vault and after he dies. they define them self a lot thru how other ppl view them, and their dad is pretty much like. idk if i want to use like medical terms but id call him their fp. and so w/o him to sort of reassure them and tell them who they are, they have no idea.