#Like the others have genuine amazing technical improvement

[bunji-enthusiast]

Tristan and Lancelot with a gf like Mitsuri Kanroji?

So Just Dance With Me!

Genuinely one of my favorite hashiras for sure, girl did not deserve all that pain that happened to her throughout the story.

Tristan Liones

When the prince of Liones is your #1 supporter of all time, you can guarantee that you will never hear malicious words or comments about you at all. Tristan knows you may albeit a little self-conscious about your eating habits, so he does his best to ensure your privacy for the matter. your happiness is most important to him, and he prefers that you are happy and full then depressed because of spurred on thoughts uttered by others.

Tristan likes PDA, when appropriate of course. He really likes when you are affectionate, and returns the gestures whenever he can, Tristan appreciates you and will make sure you know that. The prince wants you to know you are loved, and just sincerely wonders who made you have such a view on love, he is sort of pissed about it.

Seeing you in action is honestly something jaw-dropping for Tristan to see, your flexibility and strength to hold your own is amazing (and reassures that he doesn't need to worry about you) for him to see as well. The nephilim wonders just how good you really are, when you aren't held back by outside forces in combat.

Tristan thinks you can only suit the hair color you bestow alone, when he wasn't given context at first though, he wondered how you pertained to gain such a color. Though when he knew about how you ate a constant amount of sakura mochi, it did make sense. The mochi are terribly yummy.

Though, he internally winces sometimes. Just how can you not hurt yourself with that sort of flexibility? Practice, lots of it he's come to learn. Tristan admired your motivation on your self-improvement, even if it was in the past before you two had officially met. You were mobile, fast and agile to ensure good health even in the midst of battle. He really admires that.

Once he had seen your weapon, though it was a sharp-sword; a katana -- Tristan was extremely confused as to why your weapon seemed to appear more whip-like. Yet it was the moment he saw it in action, wielded by your experienced hands that he had understood why.

Following the strengthening of your relationship, though not physically, there is one dominant similarity between you and Tristan. That was being gentle and kind towards your opponents (at the start, god forgive), and asking them to stand down. Though when there wasn't room for that anymore, it was too resort too more unforgiving measures.

To maintain your physique and body, you had eaten quite a lot. Which Tristan would never judge you for, but it was rather impressive how much you could eat in just under a minute, or four for that matter. Despite that however, he was never low on food expenses, being a prince meant that wealth came easy for him: so it was never trouble for him to buy you all the food.

Praise was easy for you, as you had always admired Tristan's strength, even if he was borne from two bloodlines mixed into one. You always thought he was exceptionally strong, which was perfect in your case, and he was considerate as well! You had gotten truly lucky to find such a gentleman, even if you weren't technically royalty like Tristan was.

Yet it was in admiring Tristan's will and strength to move forward, that had inspired you to keep getting even better. Though you didn't mind being saved by him in certain circumstances, you still needed to be able to keep up with your boyfriend.

Even with all that you endured, Tristan genuinely admires your silent and willful ideal to continue being kind towards those that you meet, even if the other had been rude to you. Like an out of this world goddess with so much patience left in her heart.

Lancelot

He generally has a tendency to like his partner even further when he knows that they can hold themselves in battle, which was a huge relief when Lancelot had seen for himself just how strong you are physically. Though he will never understand why people would say bad about you just for being a girl who happens to be strong, Lancelot personally thinks it's meant to be an attribute of great appreciation.

Though you have quite a bit of a bubbly personality, you tend to be quiet at times. Lancelot gets incredibly concerned when you do, not that he appreciates the lack of thoughts from flooding his mind, he still wonders why you have these moments. But it wasn't his place to pry, and decidedly narrows it down to reflection of the past, which he understands.

Lancelot is genuinely impressed when you hold your own in battle, whether it's one against one or even all out. Seeing you in action just somehow turns his perspective of battle differently, the way you grace the battefield with your flexibility -- invertedly different, but so strong for beauty.

There are times he envies your vulnerability to feel so strongly about others, Lancelot admires your steadfast character to be so kind to others, but serious when needed. There aren't many he finds to be like that, and considers you one of the few rare ones he found himself lucky for.

Your appetite to eat impassable amounts of food will always impress Lancelot, quite literally the one thing that somehow catches him off guard. But given the knowledge of your ability to remain flexible, and your overall physique, he better understands why you need to maintain that amount of food to eat.

Lancelot always has a smug-ass smirk whenever your the one to win in arm-wrestling contests, he loves it. Given your inhumane strength for a girl, it helps you overcome many challenges and obstacles, and to help others. But he mostly just really loves when you win arm-wrestling contests.

He wasn't very concerned about the shape and appearance of your weapon, Lancelot was already otherwise informed various types of weapons that may be used in combat. Though when he sees you wielding it in true fashion, he is amiable to praise, he thinks its pretty neat how well you can wield your passioned craft.

Though you were spurred on only to find a second half to your heart to be as strong as you, which you were very happy to see how strong Lancelot really can be -- you also fell for his charming aspects; vulnerability, and his discreet kindness. Even if he threw off the accusations of his acts of kindness, you could tell.

Reasonably so, one can have insecurities. Yet when he found out about the last time you attempted to have a relationship, and the things the guy said he devised a murder plan real quick he thought he was reasonably pissed. Cause who the hell says that about someone? Your strength was perfect, and the way you use it to help others is even more so.

Lancelot knew he was flexible to a degree, but compared to you? No way, you were far more agile and flexible than he was. Dodging blows seemingly impossible to dodge before, and performing techinques special to you that no one else could replicate. Though he really does think how your limbs don't get sore in certain spots from the constant moving, Lancelot is really impressed in that aspect, and commends you for your improved talent.

When in training, there had been rounds where you had been the one to win against Lancelot. You two were often evenly matched, which made for longer training and more rounds. Though, it was also a lot of fun as well.

[mazeinthemiroh]

seo changbin boyfriend headcanons

genre: fluff

word count: 0.7k

warnings: none

requested?: yes

song rec: tomboy by g-idle

please like and reblog if you enjoy! feel free to request anything <3

this soft boy, oh gosh here we go...

he makes my heart skip a beat so this gonna be fun

changbin. the man, the myth, the legend

he's an amazing guy, what can i say? respectful, loyal, genuine... god it's so hard not to fall in love with him

idk as a boyfriend he is just the sweetest guy you could ever ask for. he technically acts the same way with you if he was just besties. the main difference is, once he's your boyfriend he tones up the affection to 100%. no holding back anymore

this man is SO TOUCHY

physical affection is totally his thing. he finds himself just wanting to touch you or hold your hand or anything like that because he just needs that contact

he's not ashamed of any pda. he doesn't care who's watching: he's kissing and cuddling and squishing your cheeks no matter who is watching! he's cute like that

even if the other members were to make fun of him for being a massive softie with you, he literally couldn't care less

"you're just jealous that i'm in a happy relationship"

he's so petty lmaooo

btw i mentioned cuddling... yeah there's gonna be a lot of that

changbin works out a lot. he's got a lot of muscle on him, so his chest and arms proved to be a perfect pillow give me one chance changbin ONE CHANCE IM BEGGING so it only makes sense to snuggle into his perfect body and enjoy having his arms wrapped around you

he likes doing spontaneous things with you. it's always a fun time around him. you're always getting up to some sort of mischief

also loves spoiling you omg

he doesn't make a big deal out of it but damn he buys you so many quality gifts because apparently he can't help it??

will talk to you about anything. usually when he speaks to you it's very casual and general chat. he's very comfortable talking about anything with you. if you want to talk about anything important or personal, he's very attentive and provides you with any support you need

for him, he's a very open person, especially if he has his trust in you. there are not a lot of things he would keep from you. how he views it is: he wouldn't date you if he didn't trust you. and with that, he can know in his heart that he can be vulnerable with you if needed because the mutual love and trust is there

likes to spend his nights just relaxing and unwinding from his busy day at work. there are occasions, of course, when he will stay late at night in the studio or bring some work back to do at home. he tries to make time for you but there are some things he can't help. he appreciates how supportive you are of his career, either way. and he always makes sure how much he loves you for being so kind to him as his partner

above all, he wants to be a source of comfort to you. and he sure does a good job at it

dates with him would include:

gym dates - i mean this goes without saying but if you MUST be told again, changbin loves/lives in the gym. he would love for you to share that part of his life, even if you aren't particularly keen on working out. he also proves to be a very good personal trainer so there's a plus! working to improve himself with you makes going to the gym even more of a joy for him. he would appreciate you joining him a lot and finds it all the more fun to workout with you

food date - a bit of a contradiction, i know. changbin not only loves food but also likes to taste and try different types of food. he loves going to different places in the city to try street food or other snacks that he wouldn't usually get by himself. makes for a fun experience with you <3

late night walks - changbin loves the outside but especially at nightime. he also thinks it's romantic going out for a walk in the dark with the city lights lighting the way. it's a good opportunity to have deeper talks with you as well as check out any nightlife

overall, he's the sweetest guy you'll ever meet

[anheliotrope]

General Bragging Announcement

I guess I never mentioned the fact that I DID get my gamer moment. I'm the world record holder for Deus Ex Randomizer speedrun!

I did this run on the 30th of July. My first run ever was 3h12m on the 2nd of June. The other top runners have been playing this for a couple of years prior at varying levels of intensity, it's not quite clear to me. But either way, the speed of my ascent was commented on a lot.

In a couple of months I was able to push Nitram out of the top 10 ("I'm sorry!" An lied) and get a convincing lead over second place. I, uh, managed to severely reduce enthusiasm around WR-chasing speedrunning and we shifted towards doing races instead.

During those couple of months, I think I played at least 5 times more than either runner. I was dedicating an average of 30 hours per week to this while being employed. It felt like I never quite found out how good the other two runners _could_ get because of this discrepancy, but they also had way more experience than me. They also streamed every single time whereas I would stream infrequently.

Going from "I could never get even closer to WR, but it's fun improving" to "this is super fun, lets see how close I can get to WR" to "THE WORLD RECORD WILL BE MINE" was heck of an experience.

By the way, somewhat recently the leaderboard has been versioned because they released new versions that make the game harder. So this is technically a WR on an older version while Nitram holds the WR on the most recent version. After getting this WR my ability to get myself to play has dropped sharply but I want to get it back.

If you get nothing else from this post, at least take note that I am a Genuine World Record Holder for a Deus Ex micro-community. I will expect the queenly respect I so kingly deserve.

WTF Is DXRando Speedrunning

You take the original Deus Ex, you fix a lot of bugs and glitches, you set the difficulty to hard and then you randomize and try to finish the game with one of the three endings.

What gets randomized, you ask? I'm glad you asked:

The damage, fire rate and ammunition cap of every weapon.

The power of each augmentation.

The power and cost of each skill.

The quantity and location of all items in the game, including mission critical datacubes that contain passwords.

Passwords

The location, quantity and type of enemies, including their weapons.

The location of mission critical goals (e.g. important computers, important NPCs) among a number of preset positions.

Each combination of randomized stuff is generated from a seed. So the quality of a seed is quite important to whether you can actually get WR on it or not.

The Appeal of Speedrunning DXRando

I never had any interest in speedrunning before. It felt like an unpleasantly repetitive and grindy activity. But this being Deus Ex Randomizer made all the difference for me. I've rarely had so much fun getting good at a game.

The most appealing aspect of DXRando speedrunning is that Deus Ex is a resource-based game. Any challenge the game throws at you can be easily dealt with if you have the right resource (EMP grenade, rockets, multitools etc). This means that as you speedrun this game you need to balance resource collection and speed.

Combined with the randomization, this results in an experience that feels like it's testing your skill in a more robust manner than speedruns of games where everything is fixed.

This game forces you to make decisions mid-game, all the time. For example whether you want to spend extra time looking for an aug upgrade in UNATCO to improve your speed aug, or just leave the level immediately.

The fact that I am playing my 50th run but there's still a wealth of novel decisions to encounter is kind of amazing. After my WR, we did an official race (speedrunning the same seed) and I immediately choked at the beginning from encountering a novel situation, just to keep me humble.

Another part is that because DXRando is so chaotic and nobody has actually pushed the speedrun to its utter limits, it's the norm to die during the run and use quicksave / quickload a ton. This is major for everyone wanting to pick up speedrunning because failure doesn't mean "I guess my run is over because I can't do this trick consistently". Any mistake that isn't just outright running out of resources can be fixed by losing some time to quicksave / quickload. This results in your gradually improving at speedrunning rather than improving in large jumps due to hitting walls.

The other major factor is that you have an on-screen time tracker and your runs get automatically uploaded to the unofficial scoreboard and announced to the community on mastodon bot was also really good.

[wiltking]

Hello, this is probably a silly question but how did you get so good at writing? I've read you fics and they're amazing, even just a simple sentence you say sounds great. (I mean it sincerely) I want to improve my writing and my english along the line, what did you do? Or do you have any recommendations?

oh gosh i still feel like a baby writer with so much to learn. but i think the thing that helped me the most is learning how to read books from a writer's perspective. especially my favorite books. i mean really taking them apart piece by piece and figuring out why they come off as such good books to me. story structure, word choice, yes even something as simple as sentence. why do i think this book is so good? why is this character so memorable to me? in what way was this incredible line set up to have such a great impact? why do i continue to think about these books even years later?

these are the things I think about while I read. and its especially helpful during a reread when you already know the whole story of a book and can pay closer attention to things like setup and delivery.

this isn't reserved for 'objectively' well written or technically complex books, either. i've said many times that nora sakavic's all for the game series was the most formative to me when i was trying to seriously get into writing. and i always hear people expressing that the writing in those books isn't the greatest. respectfully i disagree, but even if people don't think they're well written there's a reason why those books are so beloved. the intense passion that radiates off the page even during some of the most insane ideas is just one of those things.

more recently i've been doing some research while i work on my horror writing by turning to some of my favorite fantasy / dark fiction writers. resuming my reread of the hexslinger series by gemma files is part of that, because those books were also extremely formative, and reading kissing carrion by the same author last year really made me think for the first time ok, maybe i can write flowery queer horror too. because those stories really resonated with me, and i think about the ending of the hexslinger series constantly. for years. it literally haunts me. but the reason why the ending is so impactful is all the build up that leads up to it. and the way the relationships are written. and the balance of love and horror and genuine connections and the deepest betrayals and... anyway i've kind of been going through her writing with a fine tooth comb to try and understand why she's inspired me for sooo many years.

elizabeth bear's edda of burdens; another formative piece of writing for me, despite me also having some issues with it. i'd love to reread it soon too but don't exactly have the time when i'm in full writing mode, so the other day i just took apart the intro to by the mountain bound in my reading journal. by copying down the first three paragraphs, underlining my favorite lines, and writing some notes about them. my notes aren't anything profound, i was just appreciating the wolfish way mingan is described in the littlest ways that are also so integral to him, and the pretty words chosen to describe the season. the way he's set up as different and 'other' from the very first page even with something as innocent as choosing to daydream. it's all stuff i try to appreciate and learn from.

i don't use my writing journal often (because its easier to type my thoughts here, tbh) but i generally use it to collect quotes i like (and always try to leave some notes about why i like each quote). the other day i also jotted down the opening sentences to some folk tales because its relevant to what i'm working on, and i wanted to study what important information they chose to lead with to set the tone of a story.

tldr; examine your favorite books from a writing perspective. try to understand the choices that were made on both a grand scale (story structure) and little details (word choice, descriptions, paragraph flow). and always try to write your passions even if its weird!! especially if it's weird. you've got this <3

[littlefoxwithbighat]

Dynamics/ Team-ups I want to see in the life series!

Etho & Gem

You've seen their dynamic on Hermitcraft together. Do I need to elaborate. It'd be so funny. Gem is entirely unimpressed by his shanigans (shes an Ethogirl at heart). They would do really well.

Mumbo & Lizzie

I honestly feel like they would mesh so well together. Mumbo and Lizzie both have quite similar, awkward "I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing and-I'm-afraid-but-I-enjoy-the-chaos" energies. I think they would be so much fun. Would they be an effective team? Probably not. But would they have the most shenanigans? Yes.

Gem, Cleo, Pearl & Lizzie

TEAM GIRL TEAM GIRL i honestly think this would be the most amazing friendship it'd be so fun. Guys please.

BigB & Grian

They're friends irl and it shows in their dyanmic chemistry on screen. BigB likes to hang back and Grian likes to be the centre of things, and I think in this regard they'll help balance each other out. Also Grian has wanted to team qith BigB since 3rd life, they'd both enjoy it!

BigB & Martyn

Also friends irl. Martyn likes being witty and starting bits and BigB is genuinely really talented in yes and-ing and continuing bits. They both match each other in terms of being very forthright and very myterious all at once.

Scott & Tango

I just feel like Tango and Scott would match each other's energies and playstyles quite well. They're both interested in the technical aspects of the game and playing to win, but neither are afraid to take a break for bits. Scott's building and Tango's redstone would be a terrifying force together.

Skizz & Grian

I refer you to GIGS phasmophobia streams.

Martyn, Etho & Joel

This team would be a huge disaster. I can see the in-fighting from here. They would come up with the stupidest schemes known to man. They would all be besties. They would have at least 3 divorces. I have got to see this happen it would be brilliant.

Martyn & Gem

Both really like being witty and come-backs. They would be so smart together. Both of them are super competitive but also love the shenanigans and improv. I think they would also yes-and each other till the end.

Martyn & BDubs

BDubs doesnt get enough credit for his wit and improv, hes so talented! Martyn is the witty improv guy. They would be an absolute force together. They wouldn't get anything done, and would probably spend too much time spying together. But the shenanigans and rp would be fantastic.

Pearl & Grian

They would be the absolute worst. Theyd probably die horribly and fight all the time. Itd be really funny though.

Mumbo, Tango & Skizz

They just seem like they all get along really well. A good mixture of chilling and silliness. :DD

Mumbo & BigB

I want to see them hang out more they seem like they would be best friends itd be really wholesome. I don't think they'd win. I think it would be an excellent vibe.

Scar & Lizzie

They both have very similar senses of humour. They both love running with particular characters (see Fairy Queen Lizzie and Wizard Scar). They are both goofy and silly and loveable and threatening to blow your house up. Peak dynamic. It'd be amazing.

Scar & Bdubs

I refer you to HC s7. Trust me itd be good.

[mildcicada]

In the past when my art was even a few weeks-months old I used to no longer identify with that art/liked what it looked like/was a completely different person about that art. But like now, all my art is so me like all the time and I can look at stuff I made months-years ago and be like yeah That's Me. Like even if I was a different me back then I still adore all of it. I don't mean this in a narcissistic way or anything but I love all the art I make/have made and think its all genuinely so good. Even when there are obvious technical flaws I can see in past art like ?? ITS STILL AMAZING. I think everyone should be like this about their art wdym you think your old art is bad? I can view my soul in it. This change may be due to the fact that I draw less often compared to when I was younger and drew like every day, or may be due to the fact that I haven't changed "fandoms" in a while, or maybe its due to the fact that now that I am older as an individual my personality, interests, etc. are more established ??? IDK but even when I was a different me and in a different era I can emphathize with my old art just as much/honestly appreciate it way more than I did back then. Like i don't know how to put it into words for why this is the case but its all SO GOOD. Like it's actually amazing, even if I don't agree with the way I portrayed or designed a character or something or whatever. The technical aspects of how bad the anatomy or poses or whatever tf are the least of my worries as well tbh, they don't affect how I view the drawings at all anymore. Like all the stuff I made and the stuff I continue to make is all ...SOOO GOOD. Like I look at anything I have made in the past, or now, and I'm so genuinely happy with it regardless of result now. My thoughts back then about my favorite characters etc. and stuff were all so amazing I'm amazing. Even the smallest objectively most terrible sketches I have made are all so good. I can feel the energy flowing between me and it. The emotions between past and present me. I feel that the increased confidence and happiness in other aspects of my life especially in regards to how I view myself/appreciate myself and allow myself to actually exist in the world and do whatever tf I want are the likely cause of this feeling and appreciation for my art. The rest of my life before this was likely just a result of a lack of self-love and having an overall self-deprecating attitude. But it feels like its such the norm to not ever be happy with your work or to talk about it in anything other than a humble at best to self-hating at worst way. Or maybe this is just my POV from the artist circles I view. But like you can be completely fulfilled and overjoyed and happy with your current work and still "improve" in technical ways (This is the least important aspect of art though imo) etc. like appreciation and happiness =/= stagnation and arrogance. WHATEVAR.

[resistanceisfeudal]

me in my feelings about trek fandom:

so, that star trek confessional blog that's been going around the last few days? and the mini discourse about possible rage-bait on it? and then the new rule that they won't post anything that feels like it's attacking a specific subgroup of fandom? That whole thing?

Cursed discourse. Rotted, rancid, stupid shit. And not even the top five worst discourses I've seen this week.

I actually kind of am mad at a lot of trek fandom and do have a lot of honest opinions that would read as an attack on people...

I guess the thing that has been rising to the top is this phenomenon where people who are clearly intelligent and thoughtful in terms of how they engage with stuff in general end up having bizarre blindspots when it comes to trek.

People who thoroughly acknowledge cultural biases and the ways in which opinons are shaped by bigotry when it comes to talking about how, say, Voyager was received at the time, will turn around and flatly deny the roles of racism, misogyny and transphobia in the reception of Discovery, insisting that "it's bad because grimdark" - which a) isn't even true and b) a cursory glance through the comments on a stream of a disco episode would prove that "grimdark" is not the thing that audiences are mad about. You might have a good faith criticism (which "grimdark" isn't because it's not accurate, but idk some other good faith criticism) but that's not why the show is less beloved than snw or picard s3.

Or people who constantly reblog posts about how episodic "filler episodes" are so great, and how they build the characters and make up the heart of the shows... and then talk about characters and their relationships in ways that only make sense if you cherry pick random disconnected moments from across seven years of television.

Or someone how can talk articulately about fandom culture, stanning, and conspiracy theories, and shows insight and cynicism into phenomena like those sherlock truthers... and then says that garashιr would have been canon if it weren't for ezri, or that it would've been canon if they'd got an eight season. Like, these are ridiculous opinions that basically rely on you not watching the actual show.

Ok technically the last two were just me bitching about a ship that's popular and therefore sometimes the fans can get obnoxious. I shouldn't complain about that... while we're here, I also find spιrk annoying at this point. This is silly, back to snw.

Fundamentally, a lot of snw's popularlity is the same as picard s3: it's nostalgia heavy and the leads are white men. Overall, taking the entire audience in mind, that is a significant part of what's going on.

Now, obviously, snw is a lot better than s3 of picard (which i will die mad about). It's not a bad show, but I do feel that s2 didn't really improve on s1 and perhaps felt weaker at times. I thought the musical episode was genuinely bad and struggle to even believe people when they say they liked it. To be clear: I love musicals, I love musical episodes, I hated this one.

It's shit like this, the insistance that it's amazing when, as a show, it's just fine, sometimes a little bad, mostly pretty good, occasionally very good - it's shit like this that makes people accuse fans of being inauthentic when they praise it. It's claims that snw is "saving nu trek", when no, no it hasn't. Discovery has been prematurely cancelled, Picard ended in disgrace, and Prodigy was cancelled, then rescued but its future past s2 is unclear. It didn't save anything.

It feels like the future of trek is going to be more naval gazing, more nostalgic pandering, more meta references and a distinct lack of new concepts... possibly even a lack of new characters at this rate.

I made this side blog to post about picard s2, because I genuinely had a lot of feelings and thoughts. I felt like, while there was some annoying shit and bad takes around, it was fun to participate and I was enjoying myself. For the last few months, really since snw s2 aired, I've been having a pretty bad time here. So much of it is petty shit that sounds bizarre to type out: small posts and variously tiny infuriating takes. This entire post is stupid and pointless, when I put it like that.

But, yeah, trek fandom has been making me pretty unhappy recently.

I'll still be here and will watch the new disco when it comes out, and hopefully feel something again. I want to be able to re-enter the headspace I was in back when S2 picard aired, and I felt free to just express my opinions without being hyper aware of everyone else's pre-conceived stuff. We all have loaded opinions and strange baggage with trek, it comes with the territory.

[two-reflections]

Hello, I'm PS. I sometimes paint minis and write fanfic.

I primarily rep the Salamanders, but I also like the Red Corsairs, the Iron Warriors, the Thousand Sons, Vashtorr the Arkifane, my original Dark Mechanicum sect, and several Astartes/Legionary characters from other Chapters/Legions.

Ao3

[Lists: Salamander Stories, My Salamander OC Squad, Chaos Stories, Imperial Stories, Xenos Stories.]

Mini Painting

Salamanders Lore

This is (unfortunately) a sideblog, so apologies if it's hard to tell whether we've interacted. If it helps, my main is a very old astronomy-related blog!

Asks are always open! I welcome feedback on my painting and writing. I'm trying my best to improve at both. 😅

Peek under the "Keep Reading" and I'll tell you way too much about myself and about my favourite guys.

Y'know, if you want. Don't say I didn't warn you. 💚

About me:

I live in the UK, but I wasn't born or raised here.

I was an archaeologist, but I'm a copy editor now. Cheers, Brexit. 🙄

My major hobby is LARP. I crew and play quite a lot of small and mid-size games.

My first experience with Warhammer 40k was a Dark Heresy TTRPG Campaign campaign where I played a "pilgrim" (scout equivalent) from a renegade Space Marine Chapter who was part of an Inquisitor's retinue. Still one of the best TTRPGs I've ever played.

Fell in love with the Salamanders due to a plot point in that game. Later read the Tome of Fire books, which only deepened my love.

I wanted to start painting, but after an uncomfortable experience at what was then my local GW store, I didn't feel like it would be a good idea.

My spouse and I painted minis for a few RPGs and Legacy board games together over the years. We sucked, but it was fun.

Last year, I started watching Warhammer videos while painting Frosthaven minis. Finding Ebay Miniature Rescues was what finally got through to me.

Since then, I've been painting and reading when I can. I've played Killteam a few times with my spouse, loved it every time.

I'm neurodivergent and a bit bad at communication. I have three modes: enthusiasm, anxiety spiral, and complete hermit. All of these can make me difficult to interpret. I've spent years giving myself hell for it and I'm trying not to do that any more, but please understand that it only takes one brief conversation for me to consider us friends. If I forget to reply, I still think you're amazing and I will genuinely be delighted if you nudge me or randomly get in touch months or years later.

I'm currently pregnant and off my narcolepsy meds, so my painting is on hiatus because I'm not awake enough most of the time. Very frustrating.

Canon Faves:

ALL THE SALAMANDERS - literally all of them. I'm super hung up on Nick Kyme's Rebirth though, so my favourites are Ur'zan Drakgaard (whom I HC as being a dreadnought in current 40k), Adrax Agatone, and the poor little meow meow x feral massive hiss hiss duo of Exor and Zartath (yes, he counts!!). Also, Chaplain Elysius is always 10/10. Sa'kan from Pariah Nexus is also wonderful and I hope we see him again soon.

All the cool humans around the Salamanders - RIP Makato. Issak and Agatone should kiss once. Shoutout to Tsu'gan's brander, he didn't deserve what happened to him. Colonel Redgage is babygirl and I'll always wonder if he survived.

Non-Salamander OCs:

Kemal Afshar and Setka Radjedef of the Thousand Sons. Technically my spouse's OCs, but they're kind of shared at this point. Despite being on different sides of the Ahriman-Magnus divide, these ancient Terran boys meet often to play sorcerous board games together. You can read more about them here! Also, these lads have minis! Plus, they're in my Thousand Sons Killteam.

After writing this story and one more that isn't on Ao3 yet, I also have Yazid Melek. He's an Exalted Sorceror from the Cult of Mutation who focuses on psychically active and mutated plants.

Warsmith Kirakos Neman of the Iron Warriors and Fleet Captain Roscius Sedulius of the Red Corsairs enter into a trade agreement together with personally devastating consequences. You can read more about them (and other characters from their warbands) here!

Skitarius Escher has been requisitioned from Forgeworld Urum by the Inquisition, serving in a team headed by Interrogator Arion Astraeus under the auspices of Inquisitor Griselda Novaria of the Ordo Hereticus. You can read more about them (and the rest of their team) here!

I also have several techmarines-in-training and Deathwatch marines. So far, I've only uploaded two stories about any of them: Adathan of the Blood Angels and Julen of the Imperial Fists.

OC squad: Salamanders 6th Company's 3rd Tactical

(Apologies for the Heroforge pics below, I hope to actually put together my squad's minis this year and then this'll have proper pictures. Or I'll commission some artwork.)

The 6th's 3rd is a squad of Salamanders currently stationed in the rotating garrison at Clymene. Currently eight men + a Sergeant, though they often deploy with the addition of Lexicanum An'terea, an elderly Astartes who was caught up in the Psychic Awakening at the turn of the millennium.

Brother Lattis (R) describing a creature to Sergeant Te'rien. (L).

Led by Sergeant Benedan Te'rien (~160), a fixture of the 6th. In the forge, Te'rien specialises in fine metalwork. Te'rien has tried to run his squad like a family where he is the paterfamilias, but he's still emotionally compromised after the death of someone he had an intense friendship with in the past. Even though younger Astartes are often seen as more emotional and less detached, Te'rien is an example of how untrue this is. His deep love for the 6th Company stands in contrast with his stubborn refusal to leave Clymene to rejoin the rest of the 6th in Aethonian. Only his current Captain and second-best friend Nehr Ur’Venn knows the reason for his self-imposed exile.

An'terea (L) and Philo (R) reminiscing.

Pe'tar Philo and Carix An'terea go back like 250 years and are absolutely devoted to each other. It's not that they exclude others on purpose, they're just unrelatably old and are the only ones left from an extremely tight knit squad that died many years before. An'terea isn't technically part of the same squad as Philo any more, but he takes advantage of his new Librarian status (thanks, Psychic Awakening) to attach himself to whatever squad Philo is part of. There are several younger Astartes he cares about like Kea'hi and Val'ten, and both Philo and An'terea have grown closer to Sabinus in recent years.

Philo is a brash, avuncular man who cares deeply about the squad. He was a Sergeant in the 5th many years ago and hated being in charge. Since then, he has rejected promotion. He just wants to fight on and spend the calm parts of his life reminiscing with An'terea. Only bothered crossing the Rubicon because An'terea asked him to.

Cor'en (L) scanning Bai'keti (R) after an accident with a malfunctioning power sword.

I don't plan to discuss this further in any of my Salamander stories beyond All-seeing Dawn, but pilot and emergency medic Cor'en (~300, claims 75) is an infiltrator. Not from Alpha Legion, but from a homebrew rogue chapter called the Reavers in Metal. He was meant to infiltrate the Deathwatch, but got stuck with the Salamanders by mistake. He genuinely respects Te'rien. Watching the flawed little Sergeant do his best reminds Cor'en of humanity's tenacity. He's not a big fan of the rest of the squad, though. He misses his old squad. He hopes to leave the Salamanders soon. He just this needs to get his hands on one thing, and then he can “die” on the next battlefield and go home. He's the only Firstborn in the squad at first, though more will arrive as young Primaris marines are promoted and older Firstborn marines transfer to the reserve companies.

Lattis (L) and Ke'leth (R) having a drink.

Lattis (60s), Ke'leth(80s), and Kea'hi (~45) are the tight core of the squad. The Themian Lattis thinks he's the ringleader of this group because Te'rien was his Forgefather when he was a child, but it's actually Ke'leth, a cuddly Hesiodian who takes on many young apprentices. Kea'hi is a bit younger, he is a very normal Salamander. Kea'hi worries that his position might be insecure since he's the youngest in the core and Lattis gives another soldier called Atsen Bai'keti a hard time for being “the baby”, but Kea'hi only thinks that because he doesn't understand what's actually going on between those two. The truth is that Lattis hates people he sees as dishonest, so he saw red when Bai'keti showed up and started swaggering around. Unfortunately, Lattis hasn't noticed that Bai'keti has grown up a lot over the years, so he keeps tormenting him.

Ke'leth (L) with one of his forgechildren.

Sabinus (R) comforting Bai'keti (L).

Sabinus (~65) used to be part of the core group until Bai'keti showed up. His defense of Bai'keti from Lattis's bullying split him off a little from that group, but only Lattis actually lost respect for him. Everyone else still likes him, and Sabinus, Philo and An'terea have become more friendly since then. Sabinus has a heavy, sullen face, but he's actually calm, perceptive and knows the backgrounds of all his squad mates except Cor’en. He has a big heart and a forgiving nature. He would make a good Sergeant, but he's utterly uninterested in command and doesn't know the rest of the 6th Company well on account of being stuck in Clymene for many decades. He may still be promoted someday. Teased Val'ten a little at first because he found him a bit soft.

Bai'keti (R) discussing his dodgy power sword with Sabinus. (L)

Atsen Bai'keti (~32) was never meant to be in the 6th's 3rd. He was once a special scout, not intended for the companies at all but for Mars. However, he suffered a medical mishap and ended up taking significantly longer than average to ascend, meaning that a different scout who began ascension after him left for Mars in his stead. Unfortunately, all the stress, memory issues, and the fall from star scout to disappointment meant that he was a complete mess when he joined the squad. At first, he acted childishly superior and conceited out of insecurity. He has mellowed over the years, especially now that his body has stabilised. Nevertheless, Lattis still gives him hell. When Sabinus stood up in Bai'keti's defense, this unfortunately created tension in the squad and isolated Bai'keti further. With only two friends and a horrible power sword he is desperately failing to make work, Bai'keti doesn't feel like he's part of the squad. Things will improve tremendously for him once he leaves for Mars and finds that he's older and more experienced than the average Techmarine-in-training. He will probably join the Deathwatch after that and return in his 80's with an actual reason to swagger around.

Val'ten (R) gets a talking-to from Sergeant Te'rien (L).

Dejan Val'ten (~25) is the newest member of the 6th. He was a PDF orphan from Heliosa before he was apprenticed to a Brother there. He's the opposite of Bai'keti, having had a relatively straightforward ascension. Unlike his Brother Salamanders, he isn't particularly gifted in the forge, but what he lacks in technical skills he makes up for with tenacity, diplomacy and a strategic mind. He's overly aware of his youth and inexperience, so he tries hard to fit in. He makes friends quickly with Bai'keti, which makes Kea'hi avoid him by proxy. Lattis and Keleth, however, treat him relatively well. On the flip side, Sabinus makes fun of him sometimes. Val'ten idolizes Sergeant Te'rien at first, but comes to see his human side. They will have been good friends for many years by the time Te'rien dies and Val'ten replaces him as Sergeant.

Dal'ris Moloi (~27) is not a Salamander. He was an aspirant who failed to ascend, and is now Val'ten's brander-priest. He requested to be assigned to Val'ten because Val'ten helped his family while he was a scout. The two become very close, working on a secret project together. Val'ten discovers that he enjoys making Dal'ris happy, Dal'ris thinks Val'ten is hot and is flattered that his Lord Astartes pays so much attention to him. They're falling in love.

Drek'tyr (~300) is a very old firstborn who moves down from a higher company when he realizes everyone around him is Primaris now. He replaces Bai'keti. He has a stupid saurian hat and I love him a lot. A little gremlin of an Astartes. He's here because my spouse gave me a very silly mini of a Salamander with a dinosaur head.

[james-stark-the-writer]

okay, OP, i did apologize about going off in those tags, didn't mean to say you were deliberately being mean, that was just the vibe i got upon first reading it, sincerely sorry if you felt attacked, i usually have tags that long and frequently hit tag limits, that's just how i make points because i'm trying to be clear about my thoughts (and i did try to engage in good faith, because my point really was just that you had misidentified the problem and your phrasing might dissuade others from persuing the fields). and i also did say i got where you were coming from, but now i guess let's reframe this a little since you did expand more on your thoughts (and feel free to ignore this if you don't want it to be a thing, i do understand you probably didn't mean for the post to get this big and it probably was a silly little post, i'm just leaving the door open on my end).

first off, once again, i understand your frustration with subpart art analysis (in fact i literally acknowledge that you gotta support your analysis in the tag that you cut off in that screenshot), i've aired out similar frustrations on here myself (just recently went off on a whole post about FriendlySpaceNinja's approach to art analysis like a few weeks ago), a lot of people with a large following who just. are not good at their jobs (for my usual example, take someone like Cosmonaut Marcus, who frequently ends up at an understandable final take but just does not understand the reasons why the take is right [see: his TLOU2 video] or is just plain wrong about his takes and barely engages with the art [see his video on The Amazing Spider-Man movies]). i also understand it with people who are less popular bc a lot of them are confidently incorrect. but my issue here, i guess, lies in your framing here. like. both Marcus and FSN are bad at their jobs but. they're stil reviewers. they're just bad reviewers. and like i understand the frustration with analysis that's a lot of recap with just some random statements thrown in, that's why i hate people like Mauler, who don't actually understand how to do art analysis at all and think they're objectively right about everything, but like. are the random people on letterboxd or the tiny accounts on youtube really who you have a problem with?

like sure, i understand your point about it watering down the craft or whatever, but. like the way you get these people to be better at art analysis isn't by insulting their intelligence, it's by giving them the tools to get better (and why my original tags ended with strategies to improve, although people like Mauler and grifters like James Somerton obviously are beyond help in a lot of ways, and i totally understand being mad at people who aren't actually even trying). of course they're gonna feel attacked and defensive, that's pretty normal as a human reaction, especially when they never expected it to gain any attention (once again, feel free to ignore this reblog if you don't want this to be a thing, i totally understand things getting out of control -- and i did originally acknowledge that you probably didn't mean it that way -- but if you do want to have an actual conversation about it, i'm always down), and especially when it's unsolicited advice from strangers they didn't ask (and yes, i do see that technically this is unsolicited as well, but i do mean this in good faith and would genuinely like to have a conversation about it if you would like to have one).

like i understand your frustration with struggling to find good analysis and criticism, i'm someone that has spent 5+ years curating a playlist of Actually Good video essays that currently has 3500 videos, it takes a lot of time and effort to find people who are both passionate and who have interesting things to say and understand how to actually do criticism, but i just think saying people aren't smart enough for art analysis is a terrible way of achieving your goal (once again, another acknowledgement that this post probably was not meant to be all that, and was likely just a random post that got big, and i'm sorry if you don't want to read all this, but if you do want to have a productive conversation about this, and about how to actually see more interesting Art Takes, i'm down.) and frankly your explanation of how you meant smartness kinda just makes it worse, like being charitable i know you meant we all gravitate towards and have different inclinations towards different skillsets but honestly it just comes off extremely weird, especially because unlike something like brain surgery, you can just. keep doing art analysis to get better at it and refine your process and perspective and output.

but i do absolutely agree with how you end that paragraph, and i wholeheartedly think we need more unique perspectives on a lot of art, and that we can only get it when people learn their own needs and processes to fully explore their ideas and critiques in their own voices. and honestly the only way they're gonna learn to do that is just doing the things over and over, which means making shitty analysis at first, and actually seeking to improve. but honestly, even if they don't want to improve, the random people writing 2 sentences on letterboxd as a silly little review and the ones making 5 minute videos with 80% of them being summary aren't hurting anyone, and the art is not suffering bc they're not trying to be artists (and they'll probably give up soon once they get bored, and if it brings them joy to keep going, who cares tbh. and if they don't change, they'll probably lose their audience unless they learn to do it for the love of the act of creation itself), and i feel like your objection here is just that they're holding themselves in the same regard as people with more skill and experience and like. sure, i get the frustration there but you can also just ignore them. that's just what the internet is, unfortunately. that's why i now have a tendency to go looking for academic papers instead if i really want serious analysis -- not to say those are bastions of analysis who are always right, but largely the publshed ones are already fiilterd by people who cared enough to get it academically published.

i do have personal qualms with suggesting art analysis should be gatekept (this honestly just contributes to worse critical thinking and leads to a worse society) but i won't begrudge you much for thinking that way, i just think you should give it a hard think about what your problem really is and what causes it, and if your response to it is helping anything (not that it needs to, you're allowed to make silly little vent posts or whatever. once again, i'm sure you didn't mean for this to get this big. but if you do want to stop bad art analysis actually, maybe reconsider your approach.)

that's it. if what i said made sense to you and you see my points, or if you want further elaboration on something, i'm down to talk more if you want to. totally up to you. once again, sorry if you didn't want this to be a thing, and you can totally ignore this if you don't want it to be a thing. this is not meant to be an attack on you at all, i just wanna have a conversation, and you are entirely free to deny it if you don't want to.

the problem with everyone becoming a reviewer and essayist now is that, plainly and gently, a lot of these people are not smart enough for the position

[bappa-book]

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[cookie-waffle-art-and-stuff]

my honest opinions on all the Transformers films so far:

- 1986: This one is just fun. Objectively, it’s probably not a “good” movie. But the 2D animation is great, the art direction is gorgeous, and it’s just all around a fun romp. Ntm the music being the best out of any of the movies, imo. I absolutely adore how colorful and energetic this movie is.

- First Bay film: Good movie, very poor adaptation of the source material. If you want to watch a fun action flick with really good CGI that still holds up to this day, then you’ll probably like it. I just don’t think it adapted the cartoons or comics very well at all, and the character designs are objectively bad.

- Revenge of the Fallen: This movie is probably objectively the worst one, but not my least favorite. RotF was made during a writer’s strike, meaning Bay had to write it himself. And lemme tell ya, it SHOWS. At some points, this movie is so goddamn stupid that it loops back around to being funny. Character designs are still awful, and this movie also started the trend of writing Optimus Prime EXTREMELY out of character.

- Age of Extinction: I actually liked this movie as a kid, but as I grew older I started to see a LOT of issues. The character designs this time around were actually somewhat improved, and the autobots were actually really fun to watch. But those moments were way too few and far between. Also the age gap thing with the teenage human character was uh…. weird as shit

- The Last Knight: Good lord… was this a bad one. This is the first TF movie that I didn’t like since I first first I saw it in theaters. It was also the first TF film to ever bore me. There was clearly SOME genuine transformers fans working on this film and contributing ideas. But NONE of them actually felt relevant to the story. There are also several characters who are there for just no goddamn reason at all. Theres just… so much wrong with this one that I honestly can’t fit it all here without making this post too bad.

- Bumblebee: An actual, genuine, honest-to-god GOOD movie. There was so much passion and heart put into this film and it shows. I’m just sad that it’s not nearly as popular as the others, because most people think it’s another Bay movie, when it’s actually a reboot. It’s also the first live action TF movie with good character designs. It’s technically a period piece, since it’s set in 1986, which I absolutely love.

- Rise of the Beasts: This movie really got the shit end of the stick. People didn’t watch because, again, they thought it was another Bay film. It is nowhere near as bad as the box office sales would lead you to believe. It’s not as good as Bumblebee, but way better than the Bay sequels. And there’s some actual emotional weight with the bots in this film too. I do think that there was a bit too much human-only screen time, but the bots were still very likable and visually appealing. My only actual major complaint about the character designs is that they completely retconned Wheeljack’s G1-inspired design for no reason whatsoever.

- Transformers One: Straight up, this is the best one so far. It’s SO good. The animation and art direction is outstanding, the writing is good, and the characters are super fun. You really don’t even have to be a Transformers fan to enjoy this film, as it basically shows you everything you need to know at the beginning and throughout the film, anyway. It’s an amazing adaptation and probably the first (non-comedy) western PG13 animated movie I’ve ever seen in theaters. Western animation tends to really lack in making any animated movies that are a rating above PG13, unless it’s an adult comedy. So it’s actually incredibly refreshing to see a western-made PG13 animated movie that isn’t an adult comedy

[logiusxcju]

The Pros and Cons of Online Marketing in San Jose, CA

Introduction

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Technical

[jose-jeulandsg]

Why Choose Jose Jeuland for Portrait Photography in Singapore?

Portrait photography is an art that captures one's personality and emotions. It is necessary to have a deep understanding of human emotion and expression as well as the ability to apply technical skills. This is where Jose Jeuland excels, with every portrait revealing each person’s unique character.

Jose Jeuland’s way of taking pictures has its distinct features such as paying attention even to the smallest details, creating a comfortable environment for his subjects. He believes that the connection between a photographer and his or her subject is what makes a great portrait. A connection will always be established between the artist and their subject through which genuine facial expressions will be captured by any able artist.

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This portfolio, of his work, is just one of the many ways that show how skilled and versatile Jose Jeuland is. He has worked with a number of clients such as corporate bigwigs, high-end brands, and international media outlets. In prestigious places like Fullerton Hotel this talent has been showcased through exhibitions.

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Jose Jeuland moreover believes in sharing his photography knowledge with others and this passion drives him to conduct workshops as well as holding one-on-one mentorship sessions aimed at assisting aspiring photographers in developing their skills. His workshops are renowned for being all-inclusive and practical ranging from technological knowhow to creative vision.

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Professionalism: Starting from scratch, Jose Jeuland’s professionalism and dedication are well-known amongst his clientele.

Conclusion

Portrait photography is a fine balance of technical expertise, artistic vision and human connection. Jose Jeuland has all these attributes and more, making him one of the most sought after portrait photographers in Singapore. In addition to his technical brilliance and creative approach, he captures the very essence of his subjects. As a result, his portraits are not just pictures but they are time frozen tales. Whether you want an individual photo or headshot, a family picture or every other kind of portrait you feel like capturing Jose Jeuland’s portfolio will deliver beyond your expectations giving you memories that can be captured only through them and also last forever.

[sevenstarschool]

Student Testimonials: Why They Love Seven Star School of Performing Arts

At Seven Star School of Performing Arts, we pride ourselves on offering an exceptional learning environment where creativity, passion, and talent flourish. Our students’ voices are the most compelling testament to the transformative experiences they gain here. Through their stories, you’ll discover why Seven Star School is a cherished place for aspiring performers.

A Nurturing Environment for Growth

Emily, a Ballet Student: "When I first joined Seven Star School of Performing Arts, I was shy and unsure of my abilities. The instructors here saw my potential and helped me grow not only as a dancer but also as a person. The nurturing environment allowed me to take risks and express myself freely. Each class is a new opportunity to challenge myself, and I've grown more confident with every performance. I love how the school encourages us to support one another, creating a strong sense of community."

Jake, a Theater Student:"I have always loved acting, but I never had a place where I felt I truly belonged until I found Seven Star School. The faculty are incredible—supportive, knowledgeable, and passionate about what they do. They push us to be our best selves while respecting our individual styles. The collaborative projects and opportunities to work with guest artists have been invaluable. It’s more than just a school; it's a family where everyone is committed to helping each other succeed."

Diverse Programs and Opportunities

Sophia, a Music Student:"The variety of programs offered at Seven Star School of Performing Arts is amazing. I came here wanting to learn guitar, but I've been able to explore so much more. From vocal lessons to ensemble work, I've discovered new talents and passions I never knew I had. The school provides so many opportunities to perform, both in-school and in the community, which has greatly improved my confidence and stage presence."

Liam, a Dance and Theater Student:"One of the things I love most about Seven Star School is the ability to explore multiple disciplines. I'm passionate about both dance and theater, and this school allows me to pursue both without having to choose. The integrated approach means I can apply what I learn in one area to another, enhancing my overall performance skills. The curriculum is flexible and tailored to help us become versatile artists."

Expert Instructors and Personalized Attention

Ava, an Acting Student:"The instructors at Seven Star School of Performing Arts are not only experts in their fields, but they are also genuinely invested in our success. The personalized attention we receive is unparalleled. They take the time to understand our strengths and areas for improvement, providing individualized feedback that helps us grow. Their passion is infectious, and they inspire us to work hard and strive for excellence."

Ethan, a Dance Student:"Having instructors who have professional experience in the industry makes a huge difference. They know what it takes to succeed and share invaluable insights that go beyond technical skills. The small class sizes mean we get plenty of one-on-one attention, which has been crucial in helping me refine my technique. The instructors challenge us while also making sure we enjoy the learning process."

A Community That Feels Like Home

Olivia, a Dance Student:"From the moment I walked through the doors of Seven Star School of Performing Arts, I felt at home. The sense of community is incredible. Everyone here is supportive and encouraging, from fellow students to the staff. I've made lifelong friends who share my passion for dance and performance. The camaraderie extends beyond the studio walls, and we celebrate each other’s achievements both big and small."

Mason, a Music and Theater Student:"What sets Seven Star School apart is the sense of belonging it offers. It's not just about learning to perform; it's about being part of a community that values each individual. The friendships I've made here are genuine, and we all push each other to be our best. The environment is welcoming and inclusive, making it a place where everyone can thrive."

Preparing for a Future in the Arts

Isabella, a Multi-Disciplinary Student:"As someone aspiring to have a career in the performing arts, I couldn't ask for a better foundation than what I'm receiving at Seven Star School. The school not only focuses on developing our artistic talents but also prepares us for the realities of the industry. Through masterclasses, workshops, and networking opportunities, I've gained insights into what it takes to succeed as a professional artist."

Lucas, a Music Student:"Seven Star School of Performing Arts has equipped me with the skills and confidence I need to pursue a career in music. The combination of technical training, performance opportunities, and industry exposure is invaluable. The school’s focus on personal development means I’m leaving with more than just artistic skills—I’m leaving with life skills that will help me in any path I choose to take."

Conclusion

The testimonials of our students reflect the transformative impact Seven Star School of Performing Arts has on their lives. Our commitment to nurturing talent, fostering creativity, and building a strong community ensures that every student feels valued and supported. Whether aspiring to a career in the arts or seeking personal growth, students find a home at Seven Star School, where they can explore their passions and reach their full potential.

Join us at Seven Star School of Performing Arts, where the journey of artistic discovery begins, and dreams become reality.

[addierose444]

My Best Purchase of 2023

My best purchase of 2023 was an annual membership to my climbing gym. I of course had a number of more important purchases, but in terms of quality-of-life improvement, my gym membership takes the cake. As I’ve shared in earlier posts, rock climbing, bouldering specifically, has become my main hobby and such an important part of my life. It’s just so much fun and genuinely has such an amazing ability to make my day better. Furthermore, it even works its magic on long days and when I’m tired. 

The main downside of this hobby is that it’s expensive. Around here, day passes cost $24-$25 (pre-tax)! You can get this per-visit cost down to ~$21 by purchasing punch passes, but that’s still a lot to pay and adds up quickly. Without factoring in the annoying $50 start-up fee, a membership is the more economical option provided that you climb at least five times per month. An annual membership cuts the cost down even more and at my gym is better than the punch pass route if you climb at least three to four times per month. I climb at least that much in a given week and recently even more so for me a membership is well worth it. Granted, the calculation isn’t quite that simple as I wouldn’t climb nearly this much if I had to pay $20+ per visit. As for my gym’s annual membership, it results in ~23% savings as compared with the monthly membership. (That also doesn’t even take into account the nearly $30 in cashback I was able to get back by putting the membership on the right credit card). 

I know it’s not actually free but it’s nice that paying up-front makes it sort of feel that way. It’s just so freeing being able to just walk in and scan my membership card. I also love that having the membership allows me to stay for whatever length of time guilt-free. Furthermore, if anything I’m incentivized to climb more because each visit lowers the per-visit cost. My annual membership technically started in December of last year and I’ve already reduced the per-visit cost down to $11.55. Another nice benefit of having a membership is having guest passes. In just five months, these guest passes have allowed me to save other people over $168 (pre-tax). On the flip side, annual costs like this do have the adverse effect of giving me a deflated view of my monthly expenses when looking over my expense tracking spreadsheet.

Finally, while I don’t like thinking of it as exercise, it’s undeniable that climbing has improved my physical fitness. In addition to just getting my body moving it has been cool noticing how much stronger my arms have gotten. Additionally, I feel that climbing indirectly improves my diet and general awareness of what I’m eating. 

[playa-pariah]

i can't assume to know what your goals are in art, so this might just be me sticking my head where it doesn't belong so please feel free to ignore this message if it ends up offensive in any way by me misunderstanding - but i do very strongly relate to being unable to improve in any kind of meaningful way that i can be satisfied with. i have plenty of artist friends who started off at around the same skill level as me, but have long since surpassed me in ways that i don't think i'll ever be able to compete with...however, i think as artists we are always harsh and honestly pretty unfair on ourselves when we self-critique. there are most definitely others who also hold their art up against yours and find themselves lacking, each person's journey in art is different. our goals, the steps we take, the ways we achieve results, it's all different and i think that's part of what makes it unfair to criticize our own art by comparing it to others. maybe i'm jealous of someone's landscape skills, but they're jealous of my character drawing, and so on.

one thing that i've found that helps me is to try and step back from how i'm feeling about my art in that very particular moment and try to see it from the point of view of myself 5 years ago, 10 years ago. my child self would be amazed at my progress even if my adult self struggles to find anything worth admiring, and i think resetting how i view my art in this way does work for me. i sometimes try to redraw older pieces as well, since that gives a much more tangible way of viewing that improvement. when my mindset about my art is bad, it's unlikely that i'll be satisfied with the redrawn piece but it forces me to notice the specific things that i've improved on even if they feel small as well as forcing me to admit that it's overall more technically skilled.

regardless, the end of the year is always rough with all the art roundups that everyone is posting. it's been a string of terrible years, so i'm dreading posting mine up, but it's still a good moment for self-reflection. take note of what you need to improve on but don't deny yourself what you're already good at and allow yourself to be proud of where you've gotten. and since i'm being pushy anyway, don't label yourself a "bad artist", the words we use to describe ourselves are important not just because it effects the way we perceive ourselves but because of how others perceive us. i follow you because i genuinely enjoy your art, but if someone labels themselves a "bad artist" then, well, if you're bad then am i wrong for enjoying your work? i know toxic positivity is a thing but - let's be realistic instead of falling either which way.

art is tough, and no matter how tough it gets there's something that just doesn't let us quit, isn't there? i wish you luck in your artistic journey, and i also hope that you can find more satisfaction in the process. apologies again if i've overstepped!

I really appreciate this- I think I needed a good talking to. Doing an art degree has taught me more about feeling inadequate than anything about art. I think being surrounded by so many talented people makes it really easy to start comparing myself and picking myself apart in comparison. Jealousy comes easy in that sense, not to mention, being an artist on the internet feels like a rat race. I’ve got lots of worries for my future 🫠

But I think you’re right. I need to focus more on the fact that I actually do improve and people do actually like my art and placing myself next to other artists to compare isn’t in any form productive. You’re a very kind person for dropping this in my inbox. I do really appreciate it. I am going to stick a work in progress at the end of this, as I feel an obligation to this blog to stay somewhat on topic 🥲