#Like stay up till 2am and finish an entire drawing in one sitting
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princeofheartsss · 7 months ago
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Hero of ideals or something like that idk I’ve never played sonic 06
(Psssst! Likes are worthless, if you like my art, reblog it!! I’d really appreciate it!)
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shadowturtlesstuff · 5 years ago
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Does anyone else have irrational fears?
Mine is spiders and insects and stuff
Like the big ones are beetle and spiders
I can’t stand them
If I see one I panic, my heart feels as though it’s about to explode and my hands shake for the next like three hours even if the things gone.
But I’ve always been like that. And you’d think by now my family would stop laughing. I say all of them, my dad doesn’t care that much. He’ll just kill it if he knows about it and move on. Which I guess is good?
Now I’m not saying I don’t get it. None of them have the fear so they done understand and I’ve never been able to express it without just ending in ‘I just hate and I just can’t.’
But like I’m pretty good at hiding it at school. Only those close to me would know. Whenever there’s a spider and the freak outs start I usually just stay silent and try to ignore everything till it’s over. I can talk about them but if I’m on my own I freak. I have coutless stories where I’ve ran out of the room cuz I’ve seen one and then I’ve had to stand there and calm myself before I ask someone to kill it for me. It always ends up with them saying ‘it’s just a spider.’
Like yeah I know, but doesn’t mean I ducking want to see it.
My most resent terrors are beetles, that has definitely gotten worse.
I had one like months ago just appear at night. I could hear it scurrying around and I tried to kill it. I thought, it’s 2am, I can manage this. I got my boot and stamped on it. Left the room to get tissue whilst also calm myself and came back and it was fine. Now @fang1rling-again can attest to the amount of panic I had that night. It was the fucking worst and it still rattle me. But both my brother and mom laughed.
In the end they both apologized and stopped. That night. In the morning that made some small jokes. My brother imitated the sound and I felt sick. But obviously just laughed along with them.
Like a few days (maybe even 1) there was another on my wall. (I have no idea why there are so many but I hate it.) it was on my art works and I panicked so much. Cuz like, I can’t squish it on the wall cuz then I need to get rid of my artwork (of feyre) but I’m really proud of it, that’s why it on the wall. So I sort of leave and pace for a little knowing full well the ridicule will follow. My mom comes upstairs and funds out. She’s kinda pissed she had to kill yet another one but does it anyway. (The drawing was fine, the creature moved off it whilst I was pacing. )
Again couple days later there’s another one. Right next to my bed. When I say that I mean next to it. I have a sofa bed which is low to the ground and next to a wall. So where I sleep it was on the wall to my left. Once again the panic was there. Once again my mom has to kill it. Once again she laughed, and said it’s only a beetle. Even tried to move the tissue that it was dead it towards me. That day I just wasn’t in the mood for it and just died inside slowly.
Now next is a spider story. Which is actually funny (ish) (only because like the day before something actually scary happened outside my house that we had to call the police for and I wasn’t scared at all) but anyway I was outside next to my front door, I finished watched a polandbananabooks video and was about to write more judeXcardan. But I look up and there’s a spider. So my mom has to kill it. But she misses and it dissapears. Cuz of my fear I stop using the laptop till the next day. However whilst in the living room my mom tells my dad who sighs and goes to try and find it. It wasn’t there. So eh left it. I haven’t seen it since and I sort of hate sitting there even tho it’s like my fav space cuz it’s just me and the laptop, with YouTube or writing it tumblr.
Finally cut to tonight. For the past week I kept hearing the sounds out a beetle and I just thought I was paranoid so I ignored it. But tonight I was fed up so I tried to look for it. Turns out it was in a can in my bin. I panicked, cuz obv. But also it’s in a energy drink can which is not allowed to have but do. So my options are wait till I take the rubbish out, make the thing fall out and kill it. Or move it outside my room in a box and wait till I can take my rubbish outside. That way it’s not in my room and I can finally go to sleep without hearing it and making my head explode. So that’s what I did. My brother actually suggested it cuz I let him know I was freaking out. He was actually good, didn’t laugh, didn’t mock. I think he finally gets that it’s an irrational fear that isn’t going away, that drains me and genially messes with me. I try and keep it hidden bc it’s so stupid and I hate it so much. But here I am, writing this to see if it helps just trying to explain it slightly, crying ever so slightly whilst listing to Hamilton to cheer me up. It’s so weird, cuz I don’t consider myself to be easily afraid. But my entire life I have always been afraid of creatures. I have countless, COUNTLESS, stories of times I’ve seen one and ran. My paranoid brain still thinks I can hear it.... wait. Idk if it is actually in the can outside my room or if it got out whilst I left to talk to my brother. I hate this
Apparently this isn’t a reminder about fears it explain as it happens. But idk if it actually is. Imma check the can..
My mom came upstairs and now knows. She seemed annoyed I didn’t tell her but hasn’t really done anything. She belives it’s in the can and told me to go to bed. So the can is still there (she allows me to drink energy drinks my dad doesn’t, so that’s why it still has to be there till I can take my rubbish out) (it’s a whole thing that kinda sounds stupid but yh)
So it’s there, maybe. I think my brain was messing with me when I thought I heard it. Idk. But my mom didn’t laugh at me this time. Which helps. However she did keep asking about the thing like I dared to peer into the can and look at it properly to know everything about it. Even tho in reality she knows I barley touched the can as I moved it
Anywayyyy, rant over? Is this a rant? A reminicence Of fears or a walk me through experience of it. Either way I think it helped me slightly. I’m not shaking any more, and now I can hopefully start sleeping without hearing it and my brain messing up.
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daysswithyou · 5 years ago
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Fallen Chapter 22: Blissfully wrong
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Characters: DAY6 Young K x OC (Rachel)
Warning!: None
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Everything was like a fairytale and you felt like you were finally living the dream. Now that both of you had clarified your feelings for one another, you no longer felt like a fool for being in this one-sided love and you stopped hesitating around Younghyun, giving your all to the relationship you had with him. Likewise, Younghyun didn’t hold back anymore. All those days of having to hold in all his pent-up feelings and restrain his affection was gone. He loved you openly, wildly and immensely. Touches were limited to hand holding last time, but Younghyun now had you perpetually locked in an embrace. He’ll always have both hands locked around you – around your waist, your arms, your shoulders. His hands always squeezed you into a tight hug that sometimes physically hurt, but never once did you complain because you would much rather have him close than go back to those days where you couldn’t even remember how his skin felt on yours.
Kisses that used to be planned and purposeful, meant to show you off to the world were now gone. In its place, are kisses that are spontaneous and accompanied with soft whispers of “I love you” – ones that were meant to declare his unabashed affection for you. With so much consistent displays of affection, you thought he’ll tone down with many people around – such as during his basketball trainings – but with Kang Younghyun, you’re sorely wrong. He would sit beside you during his training break and suddenly, he would reach for your hand and brought it up against his lips, pressing a feather light kiss to your knuckles. The first time he did it, your head snapped up to look at him in shock, still not used to such casual displays of affection – especially in front of so many people. You can’t fight the blood rushing to your face as you felt your face burn. The rest of your body burned as well, right down to your fingertips of your hands that he currently held onto. But now? It was like second nature. You don’t even bat an eyelash when he took your hand in his to press a kiss against the knuckles, before shifting to press his cheek against the back of your hand. You quite liked it when he does that – his fluffy cheeks form a really comfortable pillow for your hands. You felt his gaze on you, and you merely lifted your eyes to spare him a glance before directing your attention to the open book across your lap.
“Why are you staring so intently at me?”
“You don’t pay attention to me anymore.”
“You do this all the time – I’m used to it already.”
It was meant as a teasing statement but Younghyun took great offence to that statement, dropping your hand from his cheek but still clasping onto them with his own. A smile split across your lips as you chuckled at your boyfriend, stealing a look at him from the side of your eye as a smirk tugged the corners of your lips up. He looked extremely offended so you scooted over to place a soft peck on his cheeks. Your petty boy is still not appeased, so you gave him one more kiss, this time to his lips instead. After you pulled back, you realised he still had his eyes narrowed at you, a scowl on full display on his face.
“Still angry at me?”
“Yes.”
"Petty!"
"Are you trying to get me more riled up on purpose?"
"I don't know... maybe?"
You shrugged your shoulders innocently as you raised your eyebrows, and Younghyun is truly at a loss for words now – where did his innocent, sweet girlfriend disappear to?
"You know, a long time ago, you wouldn't have been so cheeky."
"What can I say, I only learn from the best."
You threw in a flirty wink – the cherry on top – and proceeded to stand to leave to get a sip of water, wanting to leave him hot and bothered before having to go back for training. But Younghyun seemed to have other plans instead, and he pulled you back to sit beside him by locking his arms around your waist.
"Well, in this case love, guess I'll have to teach you more."
"Teach me more about what?"
"About how to shower your boyfriend with love and affection. To ensure that learning is more effective, it's going to be a practical demonstration."
Before you can even got a chance to react, Younghyun is smothering your entire face in kisses. Even as you squealed between kisses due to the ticklish feelings of his lips on your face, and his fingers on your waist, he did not stop. The two of you were forced apart when a towel flew towards the back of Younghyun’s head. Your attention is now on a scowling Sungjin, a look of pure disgust on his face.
“Get your ass back on court Kang, and don’t ever, let me see you two make out in public again. Get a room – I swear to God.”
“Yes captain!”
You quickly detached yourself from Younghyun’s hold as he stood to leave but once Sungjin’s back was turned fully to him, he swooped in for another kiss on your cheek before finally – being willing to leave your side. You continued to stare in adoration as he finished up his training neatly.
That was your life now – your life with Kang Younghyun inside, more specifically. He stole kisses whenever he felt like it, even when he’s all sticky and sweaty after training. He’s always holding onto you – intertwined fingers on the way home, head on your shoulder during the bus rides home, shared glances as he helped you and your aunt out at the café during peak hours. This was your picture-perfect life now – you’ve gotten the man of your dreams, who’s caring, sweet and gorgeous. No more guessing. No more worrying. No more pretending. No more pining. Life is all good now – or at least – that’s what you thought. Yet… you can’t forget the look of discomfort on Dowoon’s face when he’s around the pair of you, but you never knew why. You’ve been meaning to ask him about it but each time, you got distracted or was pulled away by someone, and you kept missing these chances again and again.
Nothing could possibly be wrong… right?
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Summer rolled around as you spent your time happily with Younghyun and here you were, sitting in a bus full of rambunctious graduating seniors, each engaged in their activities of choice. A group of gamers sat right at the back, hollering over the sound of the engine and wheels each time they made a hit or miss in the game. Others were either talking amongst themselves, or sleeping. You belonged to the latter group, having stayed up till 2am last night to talk to Younghyun over the phone before dragging your tired body out of bed at 6am to reach school on time. You had fallen asleep fairly quickly on Younghyun’s shoulders the moment you chose your seats, his shoulders serving as a comfortable pillow as lofi music played over the shared earpiece. But the hot summer sun was relentless and raised the temperature around you uncomfortably high, causing you to rouse from your sleep. Cracking a bleary eye open, you reached up and fumbled with the small curtain on your right, trying to draw the curtain shut to block out the harsh light. Yet, right at this moment, your ears caught onto much more interesting news and you’re wide awake now, listening intently to the conversation from the 2 classmates behind you.
“Did you hear? Ayeon and Jaebeom broke up!”
“Really? When?”
“About 2 days ago? Someone saw them fighting at the side gate in the afternoon, before both of them stomped away in anger.”
“Ah… so that’s what happened. But in all honesty, I didn’t expect the relationship to last. Can’t say I didn’t see it coming, they merely used each other to show off.”
“Right! Even you felt it too! It was never real, both of them just… wanted a new plaything.”
“Agreed.”
The pair behind you went quiet after their discussion, but the noise in your head was getting infinitely louder. So…now… what about your deal with Younghyun? Is he going to leave you now?
No, don’t be silly Rachel. Your relationship is real. The deal was off a long time ago. He’s going to stay… right?
Sensing your gaze on him, Younghyun cracked an eye open to stare at you, noting the frown on your face as your eyebrows creased together.
“Why, Rachel? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing’s wrong.”
Younghyun knew that you were lying. He knew you for so long now that he knew that when you were lying. There was something that you’re worried about but he isn’t going to force the answer out of you unless you’re ready to talk about it.
“Whatever it is that’s on your mind, whatever it is that’s bothering you, don’t worry about it ok? I’m here. I’m going to protect you, and help you work through the problems together.”
Lifting his head, he presses a kiss to your forehead before asking you to go back to sleep. You comply, but it was a restless sleep with your heart still pounding wildly in your chest despite the reassurance.
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