#Like sometimes it's easy to wonder how on earth was a guitar band standing out the way Muse were in the early 00s? It was like. Pop-osphere

[sunburnacoustic]

Muse performing Muscle Museum on the Australian Rage TV on the 10:30 slot in 1999 promoting Showbiz

[everwitch-magiks]

RWRB Fics Roundup

Hey y’all! Once upon a time I had the ambition to post links on here to all the fics and new chapters that I publish on AO3, and I think it’s safe to say that I’ve been an absolute disaster at that over the summer. In my defense I’ve just had so much to write, but that’s not much of a defense seeing as it doesn’t take ages to chuck a link on here. Anyhow. Bottom line is, I’ve severely neglected it, and it’s gotten to a point where I’m just gonna make a post with links to everything I’ve written since June (ish) for you to peruse, so you can see if there’s one that you didn’t catch wind of that catches your eye now. Neat, huh?

So, without further ado, the links! The fics! Let’s go.

Completed works

Love At First Bark General Audiences, AU, tooth-rotting fluff. 3K. “I still don’t know your name, do I?” Henry watches Alex where he’s crouched down in front of David and gently scratching David below his chin. David absolutely loves Alex. Henry can relate. “It’s David,” Henry supplies. “Cool,” Alex says. “And what’s the dog’s name?” Henry blinks at him. “... David?” “What?” Alex exclaims. He looks from David to Henry and then back at David again. “Wow, okay, that is a choice.” Henry wants to sink through the earth and never come back up again.

Shameless Explicit, AU, Henry has a reputation. 14K. Henry has a lot of sex. A lot. He's young and in college and there is no shortage of men to fall in bed with. What better time to explore what he likes and what he fucking loves, as well as to catalogue how to make his many, many partners feel as good as possible? It’s all part of the learning experience. And Henry is a very dedicated student.

Alex has been inescapably aware of Henry ever since that one time they kissed. You don’t just stop being aware of the guy who basically caused your sexuality. So when Henry propositions Alex at a lame frat party, Alex accepts eagerly. Maybe this is exactly what he needs. Maybe, if he can just have Henry once, he’ll have a better chance of finally getting over his embarrassing fixation with Henry. It's worth a try.

When The Time Is Right Part four of my sex club series. Explicit, AU, dom Henry and sub Alex. 16K. “Maybe I could challenge you more,” Henry suggests, his eyes carefully trained on Alex. “And hold you accountable for longer. How does that sound?” “That sounds fucking amazing,” Alex tells him, the words coming out in a rush. “Yes. That. Please.” “Alright, then.” Henry offers him a sly grin. “Alex, love. You just gave me a wonderful idea.” It’s really something, how quickly Alex’s heartbeat picks up. “Oh? Do tell.” Henry’s grin widens. He looks alarmingly pleased with himself. “How would you feel about a staycation?”

When Alex asks Henry for something a little more intense in the bedroom, they end up taking more than just their sex life to the next level.

Out For A Bite Explicit, AU, suspense and supernatural elements. 3K. Henry's eyes fly up, zeroing in on the reflection in the mirror. There, behind him. The man from the bar. He looks different in the fluorescent bathroom lights. Sharper. There’s a look in his eyes that has Henry shivering all over again. It's greedy. Hungry.

He’s staring right at Henry.

Henry's throat feels dry. His heart beats madly. He's heard whispers of this place, and more importantly of its patrons. He thinks he knows what this man is.

ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with) Explicit, AU, Alex and Henry in DIY Punk & mainstream pop punk, respectively. 34K. Teenage music sensation Kensington have taken the world by storm. With their cool leather jackets and wickedly distorted guitars, they're a pop duo that packs a punch. Or at least they sound like one—their lyrics unfortunately lack any semblance of depth. Alex can't fucking stand Kensington. But thankfully, he doesn’t have to. He’s not likely to cross paths with those British pop losers during his final semester of high school in Texas. And even if he did, he'd never let some stupidly attractive blonde take his focus away from the goal that Alex has worked towards for years: winning the Austin Band Slam with his latino punk trio.

But when Henry comes crashing into Alex's life, with his intriguing piano pieces and piercing blue eyes and slow, purposeful kisses that make Alex burn with want, Alex finds that he might need to reevaluate his stance on both pop losers and distractions. Or maybe not. Maybe he’s better off keeping Henry at arm's length, since it's so painfully evident that Henry will never love him back.

Never Tell Me The Odds Teen and Up Audiences, canon verse, an outside perspective on First Prince as well as a story about a certain Star Wars mural. 2K. "Wait!" Alex yells up to the driver. "Stop! Stop the car!" Up close, it's beautiful. Two stories tall. He can’t imagine how somebody was able to put together something like this so fast.

Ash had never imagined that they'd get the chance to actually meet Alex Claremont-Diaz, and much less get the chance to tell Alex about how that very special Star Wars mural came to be. Although of course, Ash never would have met Alex if it hadn’t been for Farida. Farida and her bold courage, and her warm compassion, and her sometimes infuriating (but always endearing) stubbornness.

yrs. faithfully (with nowhere to go) Explicit, canon verse, a lazy morning in bed leads to something more. 3K. When Alex and Henry wake up together the day before their anniversary, they're genuinely planning on getting out of bed and spending the day as productive members or society. Truly, their intentions are honorable. But a trip down memory lane gets them reminiscing about that night exactly one year ago, when Alex had come running through the rain to deliver some choice words about obtuse fucking assholes.

As Alex and Henry start to relive the memory, they quickly realize that they both remember it intimately. So intimately that they might be able to pull off something of a do-over.

Gadgets and Gizmos A-Plenty A companion piece to dearest Hattie’s soulmate fic. Mature, AU, a look into Henry buying sex toys. Yes. That’s the fic. 2K. There’s a bunch of regulars that Amir knows by name (and, unavoidably, by kinks), but most often Playtime gets one-time visitors. Which makes sense, really. A lot of people don’t seem to want to step into the same adult toy shop twice. So Amir is always a little extra curious when there’s a repeat customer, especially one who is this attractive. And, interestingly, one who’s come back so soon.

The tall, classically handsome man with blond hair and blue eyes left Playtime no less than five hours ago after having purchased a medium-sized, fairly standard vibrator well suited for anal play. And now he’s back. Because apparently, he’s found he needed another vibrator.

If Sex Was A Sport We’d Be Winning Mature, AU, a classic Olympics hookup. 3K. It's remarkable, truly, that Alex didn't even want to be here. He only came all the way to Ariake because June was determined to watch a bunch of prissy ponies strut around to music. Still, perhaps the true Olympic experience lies in the wide variety of disciplines. Or, perhaps, it has something to do with chatting up a pretty blond behind the stables and getting him to show you the inside of an Olympic tack room. As Alex quickly takes to Henry’s sweet smiles and easy confidence, he realizes that just a few stolen moments with this man might turn into his most cherished memory from the Tokyo Olympics.

Alex knows better than to get attached, though. He and Henry live an ocean apart. There’s no way this quick fumble in the stable equivalent of a supply closet could ever lead to anything more. Right?

Talk Dirty To Me Explicit, AU, dom Henry and sub Alex. 9K. Henry studies Nora’s expression for a moment. There’s something about her favourable account of this guy she claims not to want to sleep with again that doesn’t add up. "But you're still not interested in taking him on?"

"He wants more than I'm willing to offer," Nora says frankly. Henry’s always liked this about her—how she doesn’t skirt around the hard facts. It's a part of what makes her so good at dominating. "But you know what? For you, he'd be kind of perfect."

Henry has been active in the local BDSM scene for years and there’s no shortage of men who’d love nothing more than to find themselves at his mercy. But Henry is on a break. He’s not looking for a new partner, but he’s also not expecting to become so intrigued by the man that Nora insists he should meet. Alex is a newcomer on the scene who doesn’t yet know exactly what he wants, much less with who. There’s no way that he could turn out to be exactly who Henry needs. Right?

Date night (please toy with me) Explicit, canon verse, a night out leads to some fun with a toy. 4K. This… this is new. They’ve talked about trying this, about what it’d be like to conceal some of their intimacy in plain sight, about what it would feel like to try and reclaim what is most private to them by flaunting it without anyone even knowing, by daring to take risks again. They’ve agreed that they’d still need to be careful, but they’ve also agreed that it would be interesting. That it would be fun.

And apparently, Henry thinks tonight is the night for it. “Do you trust me, love?”

“Yeah.” Alex swallows. He picks up the box, studying it for a moment. “Do you want… what do you want me to do?”

“I want you to go to the bathroom,” Henry says evenly, “You’ll find everything you need in the box. Then I want you to come back and sit down. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah. Of course.” Alex taps the box, grinning in Henry’s direction. “I expect we’ll be leaving soon?”

Henry smiles slyly. “If you’re good, yes.”

Ongoing works

Hashtag Soulmates Mature, AU, Henry writes fanfiction. 23K and 7 chapters so far. Alex is perfect and handsome, the golden boy, everybody’s secret crush. So there is absolutely no way that he is the reader who screeches in caps lock every time that Henry posts as much as a drabble. There’s no way. Except Alex just closed his browser fast as fucking lightning, but not before Henry had gotten a good glimpse of the page Alex had open: AO3. ‘Don't Stop Me Now’, Henry’s current wip. The one that Henry literally just updated.

Sweet Jesus. Could it really be?

That... is all! It’s been a productive summer. I’m very excited to continue writing Hashtag Soulmates, and also to start working on a few upcoming First Prince fics that I’m planning on writing. Stay tuned for fics! ♡

[writella]

Dating Luke Patterson

Luke Patterson x reader

World count: 3.8k (yes, for a headcanon, let’s not talk about it. Or is this normal? Idk.)

A/N: I made this WAY too long but hopefully you can think of this as your ultimate guide because of it, enjoy!

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• Luke is a VERY affectionate and loving boyfriend, both physically and emotionally.

• Physically:

- This boy would want to touch you anywhere and everywhere and be around you all the time.

- He’d caress your face, stand behind you and rub your shoulders and arms, hug your waist or shoulders from behind, play with your hair, fidget with your bracelets or whatever accessories you’d have on, play with your hands, have his hand on the center of your back...

- Even if he saw an eyelash on your face he wouldn’t hesitate to get it for you instead of telling you about it.

- Anyway to touch you, he’d go for it.

- He’d like to kiss your nose or your forehead when he says goodbye to you.

- When you’re alone he’d like Eskimo kisses.

- He just basks in being in your presence.

- Whether you liked to receive / give physical affection or not, you always have to remember to be a little extra affectionate with him because he really enjoys it.

- He likes knowing you’re there and that you care. He does that for everyone else, so if you do it, he’d really appreciate it.

- He likes the lingering touches the best, like intertwining your fingers together, or when you play with his hair (even though sometimes he doesn’t want it to get messed up), or you rubbing his shoulders like he does to you.

• Emotionally:

- He would be your number one supporter.

- He’d push to try new things or to speak your mind even if you’re afraid.

- He’d compliment you all the time. Saying that the band would be hopeless without you, or by telling you how beautiful he thinks you are, or how talented you are, or by marveling at your artistic or scholastic accomplishments.

- Tell you uplifting stories or give you words of encouragement when you’re feeling down.

• You love that he’s always so smiley and how his nose crinkles and eyes get all squinty when he’s cheesin’ hard.

• You think he’s sunshine personified by the way he is able to brighten up not only your day, but everyone’s day.

• He thinks you’re an angel because of the way you lighten up everyone’s life. Not to mention how you are the first to help, listen, or give advice to anyone in the band.

• Before you start dating, his heart would beat frantically when he saw you.

• After you’re together though, that would fade, but not because the excitement he feels when you’re around would go away, but because you’d become his safe place. Knowing that the person he could confide to always was around would bring a warm and content feeling all around him.

• Luke would be a romantic. We see this because of the way he always sees the bigger picture by constantly looking on the brighter side of things and by the way he writes poetry within his song lyrics, so he would treat your relationship the same way. He’d write you notes or make the band throw you a private concert or play an acoustic cover or original song just for you.

• He’d let you wear his chains or bracelets from time to time or you’d steal them.

• You’d like to play with the rings on his hand.

• You would probably get him some rings or chains to add to his collection.

• Getting a reaction out of you is his favorite thing.

• No matter how far into your relationship you are he’d still like to flirt in order to make your blush.

• If you were a writer / singer / musician he would ask you what you think of some lyrics he’s written or is thinking about writing down, but even if you weren’t, he would ask you anyways because he values your opinions and ideas.

• He either let you take or you’d steal some of his band tees. He’d get major heart eyes seeing you in them. Thinking you looked gorgeous in. his. clothes.

• He’d always give you a wink when he was on stage and saw you in the crowd or backstage.

• If you didn’t know how to play an instrument, he would want to teach you to play guitar. He just wants to share his passion.

• He’d introduce you to music you’d never listened to and you’d introduce him to 2000s + recent stuff that you think he’d like.

• When he’s in your room he’s be so nosy and look through all your stuff, but honestly, when you were in his room (if this was 90s) you’d do the same (he’d have so many CDs and other weird interesting stuff.)

Dating Ghost!Luke:

• So you can see him!

• Maybe you’re Julie’s close friend or sibling.

• You’d really enjoy that you and Julie get to have such special friendships with all three of the guys.

• Perhaps you’d never had a sense of belonging like that, and now you had a group of people you could always rely on to be there for you and understand you.

• I think it would make you and Julie closer.

• Luke would obviously be a goner for you right when he saw your face, but since he just loves to be close to everyone you couldn’t tell.

• You’d probably think if he had a crush on anyone it was Julie because of how great they look when they sing together despite how sweetly or flirtatiously he would talk to you. 

• You’d just assume he was like that with everyone.

• Julie, Alex, and Reggie would see how much he liked you though.

• You and Julie would teach the guys about the internet, different innovations, etc.

• Luke’s way of getting to talk to you more, other than pestering you with questions about yourself, would definitely be asking you about how to do this and that online, or just to talk to you about how things have changed so you can put it into perspective for him.

• He’d really like listening to your voice. He would hang onto every word.

• And you really liked his voice too, both singing and speaking, so whatever questions he asked you, you would always forward them back to him. You liked how passionately he spoke about everything. You also, hung onto every word.

• If you couldn’t touch, despite knowing that there was obviously more than friendship going on between the two of you, you’d be reluctant to tell each other of your feelings.

• When the truth comes out however you decide to make it work.

• But if you could touch, Luke would of course be the happiest guy on Earth and never let go of you.

• The band remembers to give you guys alone time in the garage or in Julie’s / your room sometimes, so you can just speak freely with him.

• But you guys also take walks on the beach or the park while you pretend you're on the  phone or have your headphones in so you can have a change of scenery.

• You would be the glue of the group / band.

• If you weren’t a part of the band (like singing / playing an instrument specifically) it would probably be easiest for you to see their band spats in an unbiased and reasonable manner.

• You’d make sure to ask Alex how he’s doing because you know he’s always got something on his mind, but doesn’t always share unless asked.

• You’d make sure to always find something fun to do with Reggie from time to time, or just start up a conversation with him about mundane things.

• You see how he likes to watch Ray and Carlos all the time, so you wonder if maybe he just wants some kind of familial connection, and you decide that it’ll be you.

• I think he’d appreciate how you take the time to ask him questions and listen to his answers seriously, despite how he says things in such a humorous tone, and you’d appreciate how surprisingly observant he is (e.g. he noticed Ray was worried about Julie by how he had been stress eating all week. Reggie is a sweet boy who cares, guys.)

• You realize you both have hidden traits that no one gives you credit for except each other.

• Luke would like how you had a unique relationship with everyone and truly put in the effort to make sure each one is personalized between you and that person. It reminded him of himself— Always trying to give a little love to everyone — It would make him that much more fond of you.

• You’d settle arguments between the guys.

• Or maybe even little arguments between Julie and Luke. Although neither could stay mad at each other for long (honestly being “mad” at each other wouldn’t even be the word), but sometimes they took opposing sides to different situations like where to add a certain verse or about a poor decision Julie felt the guys made (like haunting Bobby or going to Caleb’s), so you’d be there to give an outside opinion or to calm the heated moments.

• He’d like to stare at you whenever he could. When you were in the garage talking to Julie or Flynn or if it’s 90s!Luke he’d do it in class or in the hallways. 

• Either Julie or Alex would say he’s a creep for staring but Luke would say he’s just admiring.

• Little did he know you did the same.

• And now, speaking of 90s Luke...

Dating Alive!Luke:

• Okay, so we’re in the 90s and he’s in high school.

• He either met you because you share a class together and he thought you were pretty (and you thought he was beautiful, of course) or you and Alex shared a class together and he befriended you.

• Let’s say it’s Alex: you guys would bond over the fact that presentations are stupid and only done to make people feel uncomfortable and ultimately humiliate themselves.

• When Alex didn’t have a class with Reggie and or Luke he’d feel lonely but if you were there, you could now be a person he could go to, so you two could be lonely together.

• Even if you guys didn’t have much in common the fact that you were easy to talk to, always decided to be partners with him, or help each other out in class gave him comfort, so maybe one day he’d ask you to sit with him at lunch or see a gig his band managed to get.

• You go (You can choose which, I’m making it a choose your own adventure for about a whole second. Enjoy.) and boom enter Luke and his sunshine eyes, pretty hair, GORGEOUS arms, a muscle tee, along with his classic vans and you’re like , WHOA, but you try to hide it.

• And Luke is like, WHOA, but he tries to hide it.

• And Alex is like, “Of course.”

• And Reggie is like, “Hi I’m Reggie. We’re Sunset Curve, tell you friends.”

• And you’re like, “But I don’t have (m)any friends.”

• And Alex is like, “That’s okay I only have three (3) friends and before that I had none!”

• And Luke is like, “I’ll be your friend 👀”

• And Reggie is like, “By the way he’s looking at you, I think he wants to be more than just ‘friends’ 😏😉”

• And Luke is like, “🤡”

• And Alex is like, “🤡”

• And Reggie is like, “🤠?”

• And you’re like, *internally SCREAMING*

• Here comes that mutual pining.

• Alex starts to bring you around more often which helps you to get closer to all three of them, but especially Luke, who will ask you a series of never ending questions about yourself.

• You think Luke is just really nice and that's why he's so friendly when you’re around, but in actuality he just wants to know all about you.

• Alex and Reggie would bother him about it when you’re not around.

• One day, after he just couldn’t take it anymore he’d finally ask you out, or just kisses you unexpectedly because Luke acts before he thinks sometimes.

• The rest is history.

• Anyway...

• He’s a sweetie and probably wouldn’t really talk crap about teachers, but I know he’s not into school either.

• That being said: he’d totally get you to skip one day or quite a few days if he gets you to agree saying “please, please, please,” or telling you that you can afford to miss because you’re so much smarter than him, or just giving you so many kisses you can’t think straight.

• Skipping activities would include:

- Finding some random coffeehouse for him and the band to play impromptu while you watch.

- Adventures in the park or woods: he’s find a grassy place and sing songs to you on his guitar or you’d do something silly like play tag because Luke is a child.

- Sit on the trunk of Alex or Reggie’s car (let's say one of them has one) and have a quick make out session or just talks out life (probably his parental issues) it depends on how he’s feeling that day.

- Or finally, you guys would explore around the school and find rooms you’d never been in or see what the back of the auditorium looked like for the first time. If you guys ever get caught he’d either tell you to hide or run or find some way to get you out of it. He would take full blame, never wanting to get you in trouble.

• Once again, being the romantic he is, he’d probably take you to your first concert, write you cards, come by your locker after every period, take you out on weekends or weekdays whenever he could.

• He’d try to be a gentleman in front of your parents, really wanting them to like him, and he’d try to respect your curfew if you had one, but sometimes he would like to be rebellious (e.g. when he tells Julie to sneak out the window for their first gig) and try to get you to sneak out, especially if it was for something really special he planned. Ex. a moonlight serenade. But again, sometimes this boy doesn’t think, so he’d probably just get you to come out so you could kiss, or talk, or talk and kiss.

• All around, you guys would just have a blast together because Luke’s mission is to bring joy to your life.

• He genuinely loves seeing people happy and if you two were in a relationship, your happiness would definitely be a top top top priority.

• He would burn you CDs.

• He’d love to listen to them with you because he just loves sharing music with you and he just wants to see your reactions right then and there. 

• He’s introduce you to new things and you would talk for hours about music you both liked or movies you loved.

• He’d like to hold your hand in the halls.

• Send you notes in class or even throw them at you or if you were sitting too far apart.

• He’d even tell someone to tell you he had something to say. Down the chain his call would go till the last person closest to you tells you that Luke is asking for you. You’d look and all he’d say is “hi” with the goofiest smile.

• You’d either have no choice but to smile back because of how infectious he is, or if you had enough willpower, you’d roll your eyes and look away. If the latter, he would try again and again till he got you to give in.

• He’d mimic or make faces when the teacher or a classmate said something stupid.

• He’s a little needy that way. He just wants your attention and affection.

• Again, he’d do anything to see you smile and equally as important, bothering you is the only joy he gets out of class whenever he’s not in a class with the guys.

• You’d proofread his essays or any writing that was for any type of English class because when he’s really feeling up to it, he actually puts in effort in his writing assignments.

• You tell him that he’s a good writer and that if the band thing doesn’t work out he could always become a music / poetry teacher.

• “Too bad the band thing is going to work out,” he’d assure you.

• You believed him, but you always just want to let him know he has far more talents than what he, or his teachers, for that matter give him credit for.

• Despite his major confidence in his musical abilities he feels like he falls short in other aspects, something you were surprised to learn about him, so you do your best to compliment him and encourage him.

• But especially in school since he already thinks of it in such low standards.

• When his parents fight with him about the band, you're his safe space. Sometimes he doesn’t like to tell Alex and Reggie about all the gritty details because they have family issues too, but he can always vent to you.

• You like hanging out in his room. His personality is written all over it. Band posters, movie posters, ideas for songs as well as song lyrics he loves taped up to the wall on scrap pieces of paper and sticky notes, it’s a little messy but it’s mostly just clothes and crumpled paper on the floor.

• Unfortunately, you don’t hang there too much because Luke doesn’t always like being around his parents.

• His parents like you though and enjoy when you’re around the house because it means Luke is actually around too.

• They know you encourage him at school and his mother specifically knows he needs that extra support and appreciates you for it.

• She’s told you that she wishes she could show Luke that she wants to give him that, but sometimes Luke gets too preoccupied with his music and has the notion that just because she is concerned about his career choice that she is totally against him.

• Speaking of that, despite how much Luke loves being your boyfriend and tries his best to show you how much he loves you, he’s not always perfect.

• Sometimes music and the band comes between you two as well.

• When he’s really driven on a song idea, whether it be working on the lyrics to a song, composing the music to it , rehearsing it with the band, etc., it will take all his attention.

• When he gets a fixation on something, he can be very single minded.

• All he’ll want to do is be with his thoughts and guitar or with the band that he forgets to check in with you.

• Once you tell him though, he will feel terrible about it. Not seeing how his passion can make him so blind at times.

• “I just get really into it, you know? I’m sorry! I can make it up to you.” His bottom lip would jut out and his eyes would drop dopily. He always looked like such a puppy, you could stay mad for long.

• “How are you going to prove you’re really sorry?” you’d ask knowing this wasn’t the first nor will it be the last time he gets “really into” his music.

• “I’m dropping everything today. It’s just you and me. Promise.” And he’d mean it.

• When Luke knows he’s at fault he will always try 110% to make it right. He doesn’t like it when he hurts people, especially you. He feels like he’s failed in a way.

• He’d show you new snippets of new songs he’s working on.

• You guys would talk endlessly about favorite bands and he would introduce you to ones you’d never heard before.

• You liked when he talked about his favorite musicians. Seeing someone talk passionately about something they loved was always beautiful to witness, but when Luke did it, it was next level.

• He’d literally buzz everywhere, talk super fast, and bounce around. He vibrates happiness and those are the moments where you knew for sure why he was so determined on his goals to make the band work. The love he has is so intense, so undeniable, so unbreakable. You hoped you could find something you loved like that one day. Other than him, of course.

• Oh, wait? Is that how you figure out you love him? For his passionate and brave spirit that did nothing but put a smile on your face all day, everyday? You couldn’t even compute the thought. It felt right, of course, but it was scary.

• You didn’t tell him. I think he’d say I love you first anyway and you’d happily say it back, finally releasing the beautiful realization you held inside for so long.

• He’d want you to go to every gig they got.

• “I can’t do it without you,” he’d say.

• Sometimes he knew you couldn’t though, because he and the band would only get slots in the middle of the night sometimes, or they’d do all-nighters around the city playing on the outsides of clubs just to get noticed.

• Sometimes they would get in trouble, or even ban from some places and he didn’t want you to be a part of that. He’d tell you that he wants you to get your sleep.

• But if it was the weekend, or the summer, or just a day you decided you have the time to be rebellious, you’d love to cheer them on, or maybe you would even be the getaway driver when workers would try to kick them out.

• You’d help Luke and the boys with their homework or school work a lot.

• Whether you were smart or an average student they’d think you were a genius and appreciate how you remind them of assignment deadlines from the classes you’d share. They only went to school to spend time together and outside of school was for music, so they’d probably fail without you.

• Luke would be the first to thank you every time.

• You would be there for him when he ran away. You’d tell him that maybe he should go back and talk to his parents or that maybe it would be best to at least finish high school, but he dismisses both as options immediately, saying that he knows what he wants. That school nor his parents are going to give it to him, so why bother.

• You support him and believe in his dream, but you still worry from time to time. You decide that it's his choice and that you love him, so you just make sure that he is eating, sleeping, and that you’re there for him if he needs someone to talk to or just someone to hug.

Now back to the general stuff:

• He’d give you a nickname. Personally, I think he’d try to shorten your name in some way that hopefully no one else calls you yet so he can feel special.

• Alex and Reggie would probably start calling you by that nickname sometimes too soon after that.

• As for usual nicknames, I think sometimes when he greets you he’d call you “beautiful”

•  “Hey beautiful, how you doin’?” Lets pretend that he watched the first season of Friends in ‘94 and then watched the rest on your laptop after he comes back and be obsessed like Charlie.

• He’d make your laugh a lot. Sometimes because he’s flirty or silly but other times it was because he could just be really dumb (in a sweet way, of course.)

• You would wonder why everyone would call Reggie the clueless one. It seemed like all the guys shared one braincell and Alex just hogged it most of the time.

• He’d love kissing. I don’t think he’d do full on make outs in the halls or in front of the band (not because he's shy though), but when you two were alone, in the garage or in each other's rooms he would be so down, there is no stopping him, and he’d try to make them last as long as he could.

• He would ask for good luck kisses before a show just to get you to touch him, as always.

• When you saw him shirtless for the first time your breath would be taken away. You knew he was probably toned because those sleeveless tees but you still couldn’t predict just how GORGEOUS and HOT he would look, whew.

• He’s probably get cocky for a second because of your speechless reaction.

• But that confidence would go right out the door whenever he saw you without a shirt, his eyes would be blown, totally star struck.

• He’d like to cuddle or rest his head on your lap, especially when he needs to relax from the stress he’s feeling due to his home life or from writing. You’d gently stroke his hair. It would soothe him.

• He’d also like it when you rest your head on his lap too. In those moments, he would take it as full permission to touch you and kiss you up, no complaints.

• Overall, Luke would just love you up and write you pretty songs forever and ever. Best boyfriend.

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Thank you for reading! Who else wants to have this boy as their handsome and adorable ghost boyfriend? I love him.

[ourimpavidheroine]

You always post your writing soundtracks. Mind sharing your top ten albums with us?

I actually laughed when I read this because I’m thinking of the Anon who complained that all of my music was OLD. I mean. I’m old! What did you expect?

Never mind me, I’m easily amused. Thank you for using the word album so I would not feel like Lady Danbury with my lethal cane.

Yes, sure I can do that! I don’t know that these are my forever and ever amen top ten, but they are the ones that are coming to mind right now. So.

Under a cut, it’s long. 

In no particular order.

Brutal Youth - Elvis Costello

My ex-husband was in love with Elvis Costello and who could blame him? The man is a genius lyricist. This is not one of his more commercially popular albums but I love every single track. (I also lined up at Ticketmaster in Oakland, CA when the man was touring in order to get tickets for my ex. I got there at midnight and spent the night, meeting a group of drag queens who were getting tickets to see Barbara Streisand. God, that was a fun night, we ate donuts one of them went on a donut run for and sang showtunes for hours. One of my favorite memories.) This verse, from Clown Strike, is one that has resonated with me since I first heard it.

Tell me what you want of me Or are you terrified of failure? You put on a superstitious face Behind all this paraphernalia We're not living in a masquerade Where you only have three wishes It isn't easy to see In a lifetime of mistaken kisses

Unrepentant Geraldines - Tori Amos

I remember the first time I heard a Tori Amos song. It was the summer directly after I’d graduated from college, I was driving my ex-husband’s car and Silent All These Years came on the radio and I was just fucking gobsmacked. I bought Little Earthquakes that day and haven’t looked back. I have all her albums. I am a big, big fan.

Unrepentant Geraldines, though. God. It came out the year before my wife died and it got me through her death. The song Weatherman is about a man losing his wife, and how he sees her in the nature surrounding him. 

And. 

No, sorry, I can’t write more about this, not right now. But I sing it to her sometimes. 

He is not a weatherman But his bride lies with the land And she will whisper to him I'll be dressing up in snow Cloaked in echo it's almost As if only Nature knows How to paint his wife to life With every season's tone "One more look from her eyes One more look can you paint her back to life"

Ray of Light - Madonna

This album got me through my divorce from my ex-husband. I’d go out every single day during my lunch hour, this on my walkman, and walk and walk and walk until I got myself in enough control to go back and finish my work day. It’s a great album and I still listen to it a lot. It empowers me. And then my daughter was born and Ray of Light has always been her song to me, even though that wasn’t the song on the album that Madonna herself wrote for her daughter.

Faster than the speeding light she's flying Trying to remember where it all began She's got herself a little piece of heaven Waiting for the time when Earth shall be as one And I feel like I just got home And I feel And I feel like I just got home And I feel

Seven and the Ragged Tiger - Duran Duran

This one was a difficult choice. For one thing, I really love their album Big Thing, which almost nobody’s heard about but one I love deeply. This one though...I think it’s the memories, including going to see them at the Oakland Coliseum with my cousin during their tour for this album and finding out they were partially filming the video for The Reflex that night. I like to think of us as being one of those girls in the audience. (Although I wasn’t screaming. I am a Capricorn. Have some dignity.) Duran Duran were responsible for my first fanfic and I’ve had a love for them since my Dad bought me their first album for my 13th birthday. I am nothing if not loyal. I have all of their early albums, all of their 12″ singles, too, including Secret Oktober, which I have always loved with a passion.

Also, Roger Taylor can still get it.

Freefall on a windy morning shore nothing but a fading track of footsteps Could prove that you never been there Spoken on a cotton cloud like the sound of gunshot taken by the wind And lost in distant thunder racing on a shining plain And tomorrow you'll be content to watch as the lightning plays along the wires and you'll wonder

Touch - Eurythmics

Another band I still love and listen to on the regular. Annie Lennox could sing me the telephone book and I’d be thrilled. Seeing her at age 14 in the Sweet Dreams video for the first time in my Grandmother’s living room quite literally woke something in me that led to moving across the world for a woman years later. (GOD.) I have all of their albums and choosing a favorite is difficult but this one won by a narrow margin, if only for the song Regrets, which is one of the songs that describes me until I became a mother, really. Like I RESONATED with that song. Still does in certain ways, if I am being truthful to myself.

I've got a delicate mind I've got a dangerous nature And my fist collides With your furniture I've got a delicate mind I've got a dangerous nature And my fist collides With your furniture I'm an electric wire And I'm stuck inside your head

Combat Rock - The Clash

Ah, teenage Impavid first understanding that music can also be political. Listen, I didn’t know much about what was going on outside of my own miniscule sphere - I was young and the internet didn’t exist yet. We got what news we got from our local paper and TV stations and they weren’t really reporting on what was happening in the world, not in 1982, let me fucking assure you. I got this album because my Dad was a part time DJ at a radio station that played mostly country music and the general manager of the station would just toss the rest of the non-country albums they’d get as promotions. My Dad would bring them home to me to listen to. You can imagine thirteen year old me listening to this album that opened with “This is a public service announcement - with guitars!” going WHAT THE FUCK? Let me just say there were a lot of trips to the library to read various newspapers after that.

Not to mention Rock the Casbah. What was a muezzin? I had no idea. I spent half a year reading books about Islam, about the Middle East and Northern Africa, which led to a curiosity about other religions beyond the Roman Catholicism in which I’d been raised, about other cultures as well. This album and The Color Purple by Alice Walker were the two things in my teen years that woke me the fuck up.

Now the king told the boogie men You have to let that raga drop The oil down the desert way Has been shakin' to the top The sheik he drove his Cadillac He went a' cruisin' down the ville The muezzin was a' standing On the radiator grille

Synchronicity - The Police

This fucking album. This fucking album. This album reached deep down into me and pulled out my soul and kicked it around for awhile. Every single song on this album hit me like a brick wall. Still does. Most likely always will.

Listen, you either like King of Pain or you live it. There’s no in between.

There's a little black spot on the sun today It's the same old thing as yesterday There's a black hat caught in a high tree top There's a flag pole rag and the wind won't stop I have stood here before inside the pouring rain With the world turning circles running 'round my brain. I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign, But it's my destiny to be the king of pain...

Sign O’ The Times - Prince 

The soundtrack to my University days. Jesus, it starts out with “In France a skinny man died of a big disease with a little name,” and it just keeps going. Pain, sex, wonder, glory, politics, love. It’s all there. I wore the vinyl out on this one. Amazing, amazing album. In fact, I still play it so often my kids practically know it by heart, and they don’t even like Prince!

To this day I think If I Was Your Girlfriend is the sexiest song ever written.

I will tell you this much: Sayuri’s main writing soundtrack song is Starfish and Coffee off the album, the same song I used to sing my kids as a lullaby. This should tell you a lot about her.

Cynthia wore the prettiest dress With different color socks Sometimes I wondered if the mates where in her lunchbox Me and Lucy opened it when Cynthia wasn't around Lucy cried, I almost died, U know what we found? Starfish and coffee Maple syrup and jam Butterscotch clouds, a tangerine And a side order of ham If U set your mind free, honey Maybe you'd understand Starfish and coffee Maple syrup and jam

Nina Simone Sings The Blues - Nina Simone

This was one of my Daddy’s albums. He loved it and so did I. As a child I just loved the sound of her voice - something in it both soothed me and pulled at me, made me want to run and just keep running. She still makes me feel like that. If you don’t know Nina Simone I urge you to change that, right now. There’s nobody at all like her. She’s irreplaceable. All of her material is good, not just her blues songs. Not to mention, she was an absolute brilliant genius at the piano, never mind the strength she had as a Black woman in a time when doors were shut in her face on a daily basis. Seriously. Read about her.

When I became a woman, of course, her songs took on a much deeper meaning for me, one that I could relate to. Isn’t that the hallmark of a good album, though? One that stays with you and changes with you? I think so.

If you’ve never heard her cover of I Put A Spell On You then do yourself a favor and go right now and listen. You’re welcome.

Oh and Buck from this album? Nuo to Wing, right there.

Also one of the sexiest songs ever written, this one. Especially how she sings it. The Hot Frenchman (have I ever told you about The Hot Frenchman? no? OH BOY THERE’S A STORY) told me he thought it was about drugs and I was like, honey, this tells me a whole lot about you, more than you probably wanted it to.

I want a little sugar In my bowl I want a little sweetness Down in my soul I could stand some lovin' Oh so bad I feel so funny and I feel so sad I want a little steam On my clothes Maybe I can fix things up So they'll go Whatsa matter Daddy Come on, save my soul I need some sugar in my bowl I ain't foolin' I want some sugar in my bowl

I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got - Sinéad O’Connor

This is a beautiful album, full of pain and joy, her hallmark. She sings every single word with everything in her; she’s far too intense for many, many people (and while she’s been open with her mental health struggles I’ve often wondered if she isn’t somewhere on the spectrum as well) but never for me. Her raw honesty has always appealed to me. She’s political, she’s a lover, a mother, a survivor of horrific abuse, someone who keeps reinventing herself as a way to find her way through pain. I always feel, when I am listening to her music, that I am bearing witness. I’m not afraid of pain; I’ve survived it as well. This album, one of her oldest, is still my favorite.

The line “You used to hold my hand when the plane took off” is the most evocative lyric I have ever heard with regards to the ending of love. It’s a punch to the heart - she felt it and she shared it with us, her fragile heart in her palms. Oh, Sinéad.

This is the last day of our acquaintance I will meet you later in somebody's office I'll talk but you won't listen to me I know what your answer will be I know you don't love me anymore You used to hold my hand when the plane took off Two years ago there just seemed so much more And I don't know what happened to our love

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

Will the real Taylor Momsen please stand up?

Think you know Taylor Momsen? Think again. After years of personal turmoil and soul-searching, The Pretty Reckless singer is back with a new album and a brand new outlook on life

On the cover of The Pretty Reckless’ upcoming album Death By Rock And Roll, lead singer Taylor Momsen lies naked on a grave. White hair flowing beneath her, gone are the eyeliner-rimmed raccoon eyes. Instead, it’s a stripped back image, one that radiates vulnerability rather than her usual defiance.

Shot by Danny Hastings, who was also responsible for 2013 album Going To Hell's more provocative cover, Momsen is proud of what it communicates. “It’s an untouched photograph," she tells Louder over the phone from her home in Maine.

"That was my intent, trying to show complete purity and baring myself. I wanted to express that you come into this world with nothing but your soul and that’s all you leave with, too.” She pauses. “I’m pretty proud of it, if I’m being honest.”

That vulnerability seems to be something Momsen is starting to feel comfortable with after a lifetime in the spotlight. Now just 27, she started a modelling career aged just two. She later became known as Jenny Humphrey, the Gossip Girl character audiences loved to hate, before leaving to focus on her music career, forming The Pretty Reckless and releasing their first album in 2010. She must be exhausted, we motion. “I don’t know if I feel older or younger," she replies. "I have experienced a lot. I feel like I have lived a billion lives. Some days I feel like I’m two years old and sometimes I’m 107. It depends on the day."

Speaking carefully but freely, Momsen’s answers are peppered with small, shy laughs. She’s spent the last several months locked down, leaving only briefly to film a music video for recent single 25. “I feel like I’ve been handling it relatively well, but I’ve certainly had my moments. I think everyone has their breaking point. It’s a lot! It’s a really fucked up year!” She pauses, before finding her way to a bright side. “I think this is a really humanising time.

"Everyone’s lifestyle is different, and where you come from and how you’re handling the situation is different, but we are still all in essentially the same space and point in time together.”

The peace in Momsen’s voice is hard won after a painful couple of years for her and her band. The first blow came in 2017, when The Pretty Reckless landed a spot supporting childhood hero Chris Cornell. He died by suicide on the tour, shaking Momsen to the core: “After we were on that Soundgarden tour and we played the last show – when I woke up to the news the next morning I was beyond devastated. I still don’t have words to express how crushing that was. I couldn’t handle it. I wasn’t in a good place to be public. I removed myself from the public eye. I cancelled everything. I needed to go home and reflect on what had happened.”

She fell into a deep hole, spiralling and cancelling any upcoming shows. In 2018, feeling ready to rebuild her life, the band started speaking to their friend and longtime producer Kato about the next step. Just as they had pulled themselves together, they got another tragic phonecall: “He’d died in a motorcycle accident. That was the fucking nail in the coffin I guess, for lack of a better term."

“I just went so, so down into this hole of depression and substance abuse. I was a train-wreck and I didn’t know how to get out of it, I didn’t know if I would get out of it. I didn’t care. I had kinda given up on everything. I was like, I don’t even know if I want to do anything ever again.”

Eventually, Momsen had to make a decision: “It was either death or move forward. Luckily I chose to move forward, but it was tough there for a while.” She’s candid about how much she struggled: “I was not well. I returned to music because it was the only thing I knew how to do. It’s the only thing in my entire life that’s always been there and supported me. I started listening to records that I love and started from the beginning again.” She sat down to write, finding that it took no effort – Death By Rock And Roll poured out of her, in part inspired by Kato.

The album is named for a song, the first single, that Kato suggested ten years ago: “He said “write a song called ‘Death By Rock and Roll,’” and we started it and never finished it and nothing came of it. When he passed it became very relevant again, and so we finished it.”

The song starts with his footsteps walking down the hall. She’s insistent that it isn’t morbid, but an homage and an optimistic battlecry: “I have one life and I’ll live it the way I want.” The band wondered whether they could even work without Kato – “the hole and loss was so grand”. They chose to, eventually finding a kindred spirit in the producer Jonathan Wyman. “He is the sweetest, kindest soul on the planet, a great engineer and producer, an amazing friend. We called him up and made the record in Maine,” she says, adding that it was the first album she and bandmate Ben co-produced. “He allowed us to be the train-wrecks that we were at the time and let us go through all the range of all the emotions and was so supportive throughout the entire thing. He really helped us to accomplish something.”

The album itself is classic Pretty Reckless: big guitars, old school rock'n'roll influences, with touches of jukebox Americana. But there’s something different, too, and maybe it’s the feeling of “complete rebirth” that she wanted to imbue it with. Around the middle there’s a turning point, with more vulnerable, personal touches. On 25, Momsen breathily sings of her disbelief that she made it this far: 'and all through my teens, I screamed that I may not live much past 21, 22, 23, 24.'

It’s an honest declaration: “We recorded it right as I turned 25. It’s very much just an autobiographical song of me at my lowest reflecting on my life and trying to put that into music somehow. I��m really proud of that song. I’m proud of the whole record, but I think that song was a shift in my writing.” She calls 25 the first “stepping stone towards that light.”

Those moments of tenderness and reflection are wrapped up, of course, in the in-your-face rock and roll that Taylor Momsen has always loved. Cynics and critics have questioned her authenticity, and that of The Pretty Reckless. But ten years into her music career, it’s pretty clear rock runs through her veins. She’s dorky and obsessive, running through rock'n'roll history from the 60s through the 90s, sheepishly apologising when she hasn’t heard of a newer artist I mention. “I don’t pay attention to new stuff. It’s bad, I should,” she laughs. She references music with an ease that only comes to a true nerd, gushing about rock: “It’s ballsy and cooler than everything else. If you’re not afraid of it, you find the freeing aspect of it. Nothing beats it.” True to its word, Death By Rock And Roll is full of heavy guitars and snarling vocals. A true catharsis.

In the last two years, Momsen feels like she’s aged ten. “They were extraordinarily hard. To the point where I wasn’t sure I was going to make it through them. I think there’s no way to go through that tragedy and trauma and not come out, if you make it through, not as a different person but with a new perspective,” she tells me. Her fight with her mental health is ongoing, but she’s learned to manage it: “If you don’t, it’s very easy to take a wrong turn and that can be hard to come back from.”

She’s found that music has been her one grounding stone, holding her down to earth: “I can listen to music and it brings me back, almost like meditation. It brings me to reality and completely takes me away, too.”

Momsen is reflective, reckoning with thoughts she had long held. Starting her music career as a 17-year-old girl, she was often indignant about the idea that misogyny impacted her possibilities. With time, though, she’s reconsidered: “I was so in denial for so long about sexism, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve realised it exists. Misogyny is a real thing, and it’s unfortunate that it is, but it is. There are a lot of shitty things in life but we have to deal with them, and hopefully we progress as a society and this becomes a topic we don’t ever have to discuss again,” she laughs.

“I’ve recognised it more as I’ve gotten older that there is a boys’ club when it comes to rock'n'roll and it is a struggle to break into that and be accepted and treated with the same respect as if you were a man.”

Recently, Momsen appeared on Evanescence’s Use My Voice, a song Amy Lee wrote when inspired by assault victim Chanel Miller. Momsen is open in her adoration of Lee, who took The Pretty Reckless’ on their first big tour, telling me that Amy’s perspective on misogyny in rock is far “more developed” than hers. “I love Amy, she’s just the kindest person and so talented. We really learned a lot from that experience in so many ways. I have the utmost respect for her, I love her.” She adds that she was impacted by seeing Evanescence when she was nine: “It was very cool to have that be our first proper tour, suddenly I was opening for a band that I had gone to see with my dad. It was very full circle.”

Understandably, after a lifetime of scrutiny, Momsen is at times reticent to answer certain questions, aware of how things can get twisted. She avoids the internet, finding that, “maybe it’s because of how I grew up, but it can get very toxic very quickly.” But she indulges more annoying questions with patience and grace. I ask her, is the 'Jenny died by suicide' line in Death By Rock and Roll a sly reference to her Gossip Girl character Jenny Humphrey? She laughs: “I’ll leave that to the listener’s interpretation.”

She’s willing to explain, however, in far greater depth, why she feels that way: “I think it’s unfair to the listener when the artist explains things directly, I think it takes away from the magic.”

“Once you put the music out into the world, it’s so exciting, but on the other hand it’s almost sad. The body of work you’ve been slaving over is so precious and it’s so yours and so intimate, and suddenly it doesn’t belong to you anymore. It belongs to everyone else,” she pauses, “I think that’s the beauty of music but it’s a strange thing because it doesn’t matter what the song means to me, it matters how it connects to you and whatever you relate to it." She says that hearing Roger Waters elaborate on Pink Floyd lyrics that meant a lot to her once spoiled the magic: “Since then I’ve been very cautious to not over-explain. I really do think that it’s unfair to the listener. It’s not about me, it’s about you, it’s about the audience.”

Death By Rock and Roll is, conversely, a commitment to life. After a year relaxing at home and three years attempting to recover from a constant succession of blows, Momsen is aching to get back out on the road and see her fans again. “I get to go on stage every night in front of an audience who care and connect to music that I slaved over and worked over and hypothetically move them and give them the experience of a lifetime,” she laughs, calling it the “greatest job on the planet.”

“I really miss it. There’s nothing else like it, that high that you get from playing a show, that adrenaline, that feeling. It’s the best drug on the planet. I feel like an addict and I’m going through withdrawal.”

The last few years have taken it out of Momsen, but she has come out of the other side with peace and an enriched perspective. That growth is audible as she speaks, and it’s woven into the fabric of Death By Rock And Roll.

“You can’t beat that feeling of complete rebirth,” she tells me. Maybe for once, she doesn’t seem either two years old or 107, but a very wise 27.

[omniswords]

Chronicles of a Parisian Dumbass 5

a question for you lovely, lovely readers!

the arc of the story is pretty much outlined, but i'm really really interested in writing a social media AU over on twitter that follows luka, marinette, and other characters after the events of chronicles. you could get screenshots of text conversations, social media posts, and so on.

what do you think? would you want to follow it? let me know in your reblogs or replies!!

[Read Chronicles on AO3]

okay, so maybe i lied about watching this space for a clip. it’s definitely not ready yet

but it will be. and when it is, you’re going to love it.

There are flowers on Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s apron, and Luka wonders why he’s never noticed them before. Actually, considering how many times he’s gotten lost in those eyes, and thought about it, it’s probably not so surprising.

It’s not until one of those Just-So-Happenings, when he’s biking between houses for his meal delivery job, that he catches her waiting outside the bakery, her sketchbook open in her arms and her pencil twirling between her fingers. He might be mistaken, or it might be the mid-June sun, but it looks like her eyes light up when they meet his, almost like she wants him to stop. He does—because really, who would he be if he didn’t stop for her?—but he does stay mounted on his bike, as if to tell her he can’t stay very long.

“Slow day?” he says with a polite smile, drumming his fingers on his handlebars. There’s no point in taking off his helmet if he’s not going to stay long, no matter how hot he’s starting to get in this thing. He almost has to wonder how Mr. Dupain can stand being around an oven for so long.

Marinette smiles, and wishful thinking aside, it seems less like a Customer Service thing and more like she’s… genuinely happy to see him. “It’s the usual. Just on a break, and waiting for someone to come by for a custom order.” She tosses a glance behind her, into the shop. “Papa’s been working really hard on it, especially the decorating. He’s kind of a perfectionist when it comes to his craft.” She manages a laugh, and it’s probably the first time since that first day that she actually sounds… nervous? “I guess I know where I get it from.”

Luka’s brow furrows, and his gut turns excitedly, and he’s fighting back a smile that seems to have come from nothing. “What do you mean? Do you bake, too?”

“Well… sort of.” She shrugs. “I’m really only good at making macarons.”

He hopes his eyes aren’t as wide as he thinks they are. Oh, God. She has been putting them in his boxes. No wonder there’s a letter M on all of them. Okay, he tells himself. Play it cool. They’re just—well, they’re not just macarons. He’s seen enough video tutorials on his uncreative days to know that it takes a meticulous baker to get them just right. But they’re pastries. Not a phone number. Not a date.

He clears his throat. “You don’t say.”

Marinette hums, gives her pencil another twirl, and returns to her sketchbook—except she’s not doing a whole lot of sketching. It’s more like a whole lot of staring. The frustrated kind that always asks art why it’s not doing exactly what we want it to do, every single time we want to do it.

Luka’s basically married to the feeling; it’s why it’s so easy for him to put aside all the Cute Bakery Girl inhibitions, just for a moment, and ask, “What are you working on?”

She looks up then, stops the pencil with her thumb, and eventually closes her sketchbook with a resigned sigh, holding it close like a child she wants to protect from prying eyes. “Just keeping busy. Don’t want the creative machine to get rusty over the summer, you know?” She taps her temple with the pencil. “I kinda need it for school.”

Something in her expression changes, but it’s hard for Luka to name what it is. It can’t possibly be self-criticism—unless she’s as good at hiding it as he is. “Oh yeah?” he decides to say instead. “Where are you going to school? PCA? École des Beaux-Arts?”

Marinette’s eyes spark, and a smirk tugs at her lips as she leans back against the shop. “New York City.”

Luka blinks. Quite a few times. “Oh. Well. That’s… cool.”

“Yeah, it’s…” She laughs, and it sounds human. Not that over-the-counter giggle that comes with a can I help you or a have a nice day, but the genuine, modest kind. “It’s something. I didn’t think cities got much busier than Paris.”

“It’s big there?”

“Huge,” she says, and Luka wishes he could capture that dreamily enthusiastic look in her eyes forever. It already tells him everything she’s seen without words. “Everywhere you go, there’s something. And there’s always someone yelling about something, too.” Another laugh. “You wouldn’t believe how… angry and stressed people are over there. Always acting like there’s only five hours in a day, like they have to get everywhere yesterday.”

At that, Luka laughs along with her, and maybe this the first time that he feels something there, some connection to Marinette Dupain-Cheng as a person. And it isn’t because there isn’t a register or a counter or a box between them. “So,” he says after a moment. “What do you study there?”

“Fashion design.” She smiles proudly. “I mean, I worked hard any everything, but I guess it helped to have a couple of good recommendation letters.” She looks down then, tapping her toe on the pavement, squeezing her sketchbook a little tighter and wincing even as she speaks.

You must’ve worked really hard for the two of them to notice you, he wants to say, or even, I’d love to see your designs sometime if you’ve ever released any. Instead, all that comes out is, “I play guitar.”

And then he winces. That was the best he could come up with?

Marinette smiles, and her gaze flickers just past him. Right at his guitar. Which is right in front of him. In his basket. “I figured.”

Luka would love to know just how soon the earth can swallow him up. “I mean. I’m also. In a band. Like, a band band.”

Any minute now, he thinks. Any minute the earth wants to do its duty would be fantastic.

“Mm.” Marinette’s expression doesn’t falter, but she does look down at her sketchbook again. “You and every Vans-wearing, guitar-strumming New Yorker at every street corner trying to score a date or a dollar.”

“I’m not—”

“I know,” she says, and she looks caught in the middle somehow, between the Cute Bakery Girl who wants to keep him on his toes and the sunny sweetheart who… seems to like him. Seems to want to open up to him, wishful thinking aside. Between New York and Paris. “You’re nicer than they are.”

She pauses to wave at someone just behind him—probably that customer she’s waiting for—then works on tying her hair into a high ponytail and dusting off her apron. He looks at it more closely now: the pretty contrast of baby pink against the black and white of her overall dress, the spray of flowers decorating the corner, the elaborate capital M accompanying it. The same one, he realizes, that decorated the macarons. “Duty calls,” she says with a faint stretch.

“Ditto,” Luka replies, sparing a glance behind him. There’s no delivery box attached to his bike this time, but where he’s going, he won’t need it.

Marinette gives him one last up-and-down as she opens the door to the bakery and it looks like—he thinks it looks like—those blue eyes of hers like what they see. “Maybe I’ll hear one of your rockstar songs sometime,” she tells him, and the melody he thinks he needs starts to fall into place.

He grins, feeling the buzz of each new note in his chest, and raises a hand to salute her with devil horns. “Maybe I’ll get to see a Marinette Dupain-Cheng original in person one day.” It’s the first time he’s said the name to someone who isn’t himself, and it rolls off the tongue like soft water, and the music in his body swells to a forte in seconds.

Her eyes light up. “It’s closer than you think,” she murmurs, the door closing with the tinkle of the bell behind her, and as he stands there, dumbfounded and half-mounted on his bicycle, he’s stuck trying to decide if she meant her apron, her ambitions, or himself. If this is the sass she’s picked up from New York or just from growing older, or if she’s always been like this.

And if—this is the crazy thing—if she’s actually flirting with him.

Either way, the music in him demands to be written now, played now. And inspiration, he’s come to learn in all his years of composing, does not like to wait on people for very long.

So he speeds to the Seine before the song can leave him behind, his bike beside him on the riverbank, and he plays with nothing but his ears and his phone to capture every attempt. He plays until the calluses on his fingers protest, until that beautiful blue bleeds into background noise and tells him it will see him again sometime. She will see him again sometime.

When Juleka comes down the river from home, looking for him, she finds him still cradling his guitar, playing and rewinding and replaying every second of this new song from his phone. “You’re ridiculous,” she says with a smile, draping his gig bag over his head and bending down to right his back.

Luka laughs, and even that sounds like music to him. “Maybe,” he says as he resigns himself to zipping up his guitar. “But you’d better get to work.”

“Work?”

He’s still grinning, phone in hand. “We’ve got a new gig to find.”

it’s starting to be ready

CBG, this one’s for you and your cute apron.

[ever-glowing]

The time now is 11.57pm, and guitar boy sends me a message. 

In my opinion, it is ridiculous to be hung up on someone like you. Please, accept my following analysis about why this is so: 

I. You, simply put, are incredibly dense. 

I try not to think of the time where we were classmates at 10 years old, sitting beside each other. You whispered a bad joke, making fun of how the English teacher moves her hands too much when she gets angry. What you didn’t anticipate, is how loud I would laugh after that. Before you get a big head -- your joke wasn’t even that funny. She got so mad, she pulled us both out of class and yelled at us for a good 15 minutes. Back then, I didn’t know any better. I cried for the first time in front of you, tears running down my eyes and red-faced just as any other 10 year old. I refused to talk to you for the rest of the day, even as you tried to offer me a tissue and tell even more awful jokes. I was so mad at you, guitar boy. I was angry that you broke me down to my simplest, most carefree side without me even realising that I was letting you in. 

(Now when I think of it -- maybe you weren’t dense. Maybe, you were a kid unlike any other, with a kindled desire to make everyone around you laugh.)

II. You are kind. Almost stupidly so. 

Do you remember meeting me at the airport when we were 11? God, I still remember how we pretended not to know each other. Same ski hotel, same ski class. The chances are infinitesimally small, but there you are, standing right in front of me. Your beanie is far too big for your head, and it keeps slipping down. Your boots make a squelch sound when we first step in the snow outside Haneda Airport, and mine do the same. Teenage childishness dictates that we ignore each other, that I snap back at your quips and you do the same. We snap and ignore until one day, on an hour long bus ride home from the restaurant, I make a small comment that I’m not feeling too great. You pause for a while, before moving aside and gently pushing me to take the window seat. 

“I read somewhere that it helps. To sit by the window so you don’t get motion sickness.” It’s a sheepish tone, one that takes me by surprise. I don’t really know what to say, so I just smile and whisper a thank you. The bus is quiet, but for some reason your presence doesn’t bother me. It’s a nice comforting weight against my side, keeping me pressed between the chilly window and right beside you.

You mumble a sorry, shifting your body so I get a little more room. 

We don’t really talk for the rest of the journey. Somewhere along the 15 minute point, you take out your earphones and whisper to me if I want some music. You promise me Mayday Parade is the best band to ever walk the Earth, I tell you that you’re nuts. The rest of the people on the bus are asleep, and really it’s the two of us in a little bubble of MP, me discovering just how neat guitars can be. We stare out at the snow on the side of the road, watching as the road lights illuminate and reflect a warm yellow. 

It’s around the last 30 minutes when you realise my hands are pressed together, fingers intertwined with my own. It’s a classic mistake, one where I forget to bring my gloves and I’m way too prideful to ask if you have spares. 

Almost immediately, you rip off your own gloves, and pass them to me. You apologise if they’re a little damp, for they got wet in the snow earlier. I’m too shocked to say anything, feeling the weight of your gloves in my hand. It’s almost too heavy a responsibility to bear, but I cannot explain why. I put on your gloves and mumble a grateful thank you, for the countless time that night. 

(I remember the moment we got off the car, you headed straight for the restaurant to ask for 2 hot chocolates. You pass one to me, and warm your fingers around your own.) I am still wearing your gloves. 

Sometimes, guitar boy, I wish you weren’t so stupidly kind to put others before yourself all the time. I wish you wouldn’t wear your heart on your sleeve, and act as if kindness is something you owe the world, something you owe me. 

(It makes it a lot more difficult to dislike you.) 

III. You lead me on, guitar boy. Why is that?

We are 16, and it is the month before our exams. You text me one night, panicked that you don’t understand a word in your Chinese worksheet in time for your oral exam. It’s eleven o’ clock at night, and my eyes are closing on me. 

(But I cannot give up on you guitar boy, because you have never given up on me.)

We call until 2 in the morning. I go through every single detail of my Chinese notes with you, and we brainstorm until my head hurts and we can’t stop laughing. Whether it’s delirium or not, I honestly can’t tell. Things look a little different at two in the morning, and you are no exception. There’s a weird giddiness in the room, a reluctance to make the first move and say I have to go, I have to go. 

You pull out your guitar, and ask what’s my favourite pop song. My mind goes completely and utterly blank -- not just for the fact that it is two in the morning, but also equally because I am in trepidation of what comes next. I shrug my shoulders helplessly, and tell you to play whatever you want. There is a classic, shit-eating grin on your face as you proudly announce that you will play your favourite Taylor Swift song, Love Story. The opening chords come on and I snort, as I watch what is in all honesty, an excellent rendition. I give you mock applause, and you return the bow. 

“What did you think?”

“I thought it was rubbish.”

There’s a beam on my face as he flips me off through the Zoom camera. It’s the easy, carefree banter that grabs me by the arm and throws me back to the days when we were 10 years old. 

He opens with the chords of another song, and asks me if I know Isn’t She Lovely by Stevie Wonder. 

(He asks me whether the girl at school will recognise the song, and whether by singing it to her next week, she will like him back.) 

-

The time is 11.59pm. My phone screen is still lit up, and it is still your text that clouds my phone screen. 

“Do you want to play tennis tomorrow? I can book a court if you like.”

The time is 12.00am, and I have yet to reply you. 

[tisthenightofthewitch]

Ghost rock in Hanover

The whole (translated) version of the review I posted part of earlier, requested by @lonely-pyro

They are the most diabolical band on this side of purgatory. Ghost ignite a hellfire at their show in Hanover - with a wink.

Here comes Tobi. Tobi is a singer, but on stage he is also Count Dracula, the great Zampano and Lord of heaven and earth. It's the big horror show when Tobi prances to the edge of the stage. Or walk from his show staircase. Back pressed, legs like stilts, royal attitude. A hint for one of the three guitarists, one for the 2700 fans in the Swiss Life Hall in Hanover , then a straight fist. Tobias Forge is clearly the conductor, the showmaster, he sets the tone.

The 37-year-old Swede likes the theatrical performance. He can flip his microphone so elegantly from one hand to the other that it stands in the air for a very short moment. 40 years ago he could have landed in Dieter Thomas Heck's hit parade. Only the inverted cross on the chest (heart side) would not have gone well. And the ghostly, thick white mask on the face with the deep black eye sockets - not even that. At that time light entertainment, confetti and lard still stood on one side - rock music and honest work on the other. Today it is not so easy to separate - and Tobias Forge with his band Ghost shows how to turn these wonderful possibilities into a really big cabaret with confetti.

The show on Sunday evening starts with a series of ringlets - a children's melody with a carillon and an ominous end: "We all fall down". On stage: seven masked figures - the musicians cover their heads behind silver devilish faces. These are the "nameless ghouls" - demons without names. The musicians Forge has gathered behind are anonymous. In a decade Ghost he has already worn a whole bunch.

Court dispute with musicians

The singer himself was anonymous for a long time and performed in the role of a kind pope with a horror mask. In 2017, he went public after former fellow musicians had sued him. They felt deceived and exploited financially. It is safe to assume that other employees of Forge'sstringingly planned company Ghost are now behind the masks to continue the spectacle.

On stage, the guitars cut. It is getting dark. "In times of turmoil, in times like thesis", Forge sings . Yes, they are stirring times. The rats. They come and bring with them beliefs that spread like diseases. Ghosthave become quite political with the first single of their new album "Prequelle". "Rats" also starts at the show, a driving metal song with a poppy "Aaah-woaah" song in the center.  Heavy metal meets earwig.

In fact, no band currently manages to cross such hard rock with such soft melodies. "If you have Ghost , you have everything," Forge willsing later. There is something on that. With Ghost , there really is something for everyone who can do rock music. About ten years ago, the band started in Linköping, Sweden, as a dark heavy band. The musical journey quickly led through the entire quotes basement of rock and pop history. Ghost attacked with courage, without fear of genre boundaries, and artfully combined all the influences into a whole. Who can hear, listen to: psychedelic rock, occult rock, pop rock, progressive rock. Black Sabbath ,Blue Oyster Cult , Abba , Foreigner, Pink Floyd , Genesis, Rush, Kiss, Judas Priest , David Bowie , Queen.

There are horror masks, texts about witches, plague and death. Even the good old devil get Ghost quite out of the moth-crate. Forge slips into various pastor costumes, pans frankincense, tears suggestive taunts. The light show is a spectacle in itself, the ground fog wafts, flames shoot from the stage. The highlight: As a musician in the Pope's gown puts a saxophone solo on the floor.

Two and a half hours take the whole mummery. And like every musical there is a break. Here we experience the very successful rock'n'roll dizziness of Tobias Forge . Ghost turn heavy metal into what it never wanted to be: just a big show - sets, role-plays, self-irony, silliness. Ghost is the "Rocky Horror Show" with double bottom. "Come on, Hanover ! Gossip, gossip, gossip, gossip ", so Forge cheers the fans. He praises the look of the audience. "And you smell good." Later, he inquires if one likes it when the music makes the bottom bumble. A loud yes! And right before the end he finally advises to go home and have sex.

The music is sometimes hard staccato, sometimes soft like the Scorpions. Pathos, bombast and kitsch are always included. Forge sings that he wants to enchant someone in the moonlight - the whole night, of course. The melody would have made Abba proud. Just because the whole show is so obvious without limits, you can let Tobi pass this.

By Ralf Heussinger

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 wonpil

first of all i will definitely do poorly on this because,,, you know,,,,, he’s so precious and i don’t think my words can do it justice ksbdjshs i wanna make the sweetest scenario for him

but i suck at sweet stuffs smh bye

name: kim wonpil

major: modeling (i still cant believe this is an actual major im living under a rock smh)

other activities: member of music club, keyboardist and main singer of the university band

jae calls him “the backbone” of the music club because wonpil participates in all club events, he always takes part in weekly activities, and he actively finds new recruits

jae on the other side pops up once in a blue moon to play guitar, do shit, then disappears

don’t worry ever since jae starts dating the newest member who happens to be wonpil’s bestie he’s more active now

honestly more than half of their club members joined because wonpil made them to

he’s persuasive and convincing okay you would end up eating rocks if he told you it’s good for health

but he’ll never do that ever bc he speaks no lies okay he’s like the sweetest person in the earth

he’ll cry by the sight of cute puppies, do i have to explain further

wonpil was nominated as the club president but the other candidate park sungjin who’s also his roommate beat him by one vote

well he prefers to be just regular member anyway, that way he can still do a lot of things for the club but with less responsibilities

you see he’s really nice, he’s caring, he’s hardworking, he’s confident, he knows how to present himself and he’s hella attractive

he’s taking modeling as his major do i make myself clear

everyone LOVES wonpil

and i mean sometimes it’s just not only a platonic love but like an “i will give you my heart and soul please marry me” love

too bad he’s oblivious af

someone: i,, i like you wonpil,,,, d-do you like me too?

wonpil: of course!!! you’re my friend!!!!!!!!!

someone: ….oh ok

accidental friendzone

but you know he doesnt actually mean to do that, he just doesn’t think anyone likes him like that

moreover he already has someone in mind

aka the coffee shop girl

aka Y O U

yeah hello guys i am: still lame

the first time he met you was on exams week

everyone was busy and stressed af and running on almost no sleep

except maybe wonpil

not because he was fully prepared but more like he forgot exams week was coming until the day before so he just decided to wing it lol whatevs

anyway his roommate aka sungjin asked him if he could go buy him a double shot espresso so wonpil did

he rarely visits coffee shops tbh and when he does he always orders vanilla latte with extra syrup for himself

wonpil seems to be that kinda person who tries to enjoy coffee but can’t handle the bitter taste its so frickin cute and trust me you think so too

so anywayyyy yeah he never saw you, aka the new barista, before

it was ur first work day as well btw and he was ur first customer

he didn’t know why but watching you being nervous made him nervous too

just imagine a stuttering costumer and a stuttering barista

everyone watched you two with anxiety

but even when wonpil was a nervous wreck he didn’t forget to smile and before leaving he said to you, “thanks, have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!”

honest to god it made your whole day better

anyway let’s move on to the second meeting

he comes back and this time he orders a vanilla latte, but being the clumsy ass that you are, you slightly confused his order

he receives his coffee and takes a sip and he freezes

you ask whats wrong and he’s like,, uh nothing,, the coffee is just,,,, kinda bitter today??? ha,,,hahahhaha,,,,

you stand still

wait

he asked for EXTRA SYRUP not EXTRA SHOT you dumbfucc

you offer to make him a new one and he refuses saying it’s fine!!! but you still feel bad so you insist but he’s like no!!! i gotta stay awake anyway i have an important quiz today i have to study! by the way uhhhh i’ve never seen you around until recently???

you introduce yourself and he introduce himself blablabla it’s awkward and your palms keep sweating for some reason

before wonpil left, he didn’t forget to say “have a great day!! i’ll see you around then!!!”

he’s so sweet uwu

seeing him and making him his vanilla latte (extra syrup) is one of the best parts of your job tbh

and he visits every single time you’re working which makes it better

why is his smile so adorable what the fuck

and there’s something about the way he walks that keeps you looking i mean boiiiii does he know how to present himself holy shit

that feeling when you see someone so beautiful you want to cry

the more you see him the more you want to know about him

what major is he in? what is he usually do outside the class? what kind of person is he? does he have a lot of friends? what’s his hobby? stuffs like that

too bad he always comes when it’s busy at the cafe so you can’t talk too much

neither he ever tries to initiate a conversation with you except his usual “hello! how are you today?” and “thank you, you make the best coffee! have a nice day!! see you!!!”

let’s admit it you highkey have a crush on him and EVERYONE knows

wELL it’s because you always wear that expression like "goddammit why must kim wonpil be so cute if he ain’t gonna ask me on a date” whenever you watch his back as he leaves the cafe

and EVERYONE but YOU knows wonpil’s so into you

whenever someone says something like “just ask him for his number he’ll definitely give it to you” you’re like “wtf nO that’s creepy and he won’t!! he doesn’t even know me!!!”

“he literally only comes when it’s your shift and he always makes sure you’re the one taking his order you oblivious dumbass”

“it’s just a coincidence”

“…..yeah whatever”

but they’re right wonpil’s crushing on you hard

at this point sungjin can even draw a portrait of you although he hasn’t actually met you before

that’s how much wonpil talks about you

from your whole adorable appearance to how cute your little cough is, or how he adores your little smile and the sparks in your eyes when he compliments your coffee, or he’ll describe your apron what the fuck and how he thinks your look so good in white and blue

sungjin’s so done with him

“just ask her out you stalker”

“nO I CAN’T!!! SHE’LL THINK IM CREEPY!!! SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME”

“well i bet she remembers your face by now since you always drop by when she’s there”

“but she meets a lot of people everyday there’s NO WAY she can remember me”

you see the problem now?

then one day jae decides to play matchmaker

by “playing matchmaker” i mean he follows wonpil to the cafe and straight up tells you, in front of wonpil’s face and everyone there, “yo this friend of mine wants to take you on a date and he wonders if you’re interested”

you are: blushing

wonpil is: dead pale

you: o-oh… i’m–

wonpil: yO HE’S JUST JOKING HAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY oH My gOd jAE LET’S GO

he drags his tall friend aka jae out of the cafe and since then he never visits again :(

im sad now ugh i told you i suck at sweet stuffs like this

fast forward it’s summer and the university wonpil’s attending is holding a summer festival that’s open for public

well,,,,, you decide to go and you ask some of your friends to tag along

you’re not sure what you’re hoping; maybe you just want to see how the place wonpil’s studying at looks like, or maybe you do wish to meet him by accident or something yanno like a drama

whatever

you promised yourself that if you don’t see him today, you’ll get over him

but if you do see him, you will ask. him. out.

well jokes on you babe he’s there performing on the stage with the band

he’s,,, he’s singing,,, and playing keyboard,,,, omg his voice

as you already know im uncreative soooo by impossible coincidence somehow his eyes spot you in the crowd

btw i imagine them singing Pouring but i think you can pick any songs you like

he’s so taken aback that one second he’s singing and the next second he sees you and his eyes widen and he’s like “I’m falling for–hUH? why are you here??” to the microphone

don’t worry the others cover for his mistake while trying not to laugh

everyone laughs too while looking around to find the person whom wonpil sees

you’re embarrassed as fuck you want to curl up and hide forever

but your so-called-friends don’t let you get away that easy okay it’s your only chance

dw dude wonpil feels the same he wants to immediately get off the stage and die

but sungjin will literally kill wonpil in his sleep if he doesn’t do anything it’s now or never

poor boi has had enough of this pining shit

so after the band performance wonpil has no choice but to approach you

“h-hey! so you watched our stage!”

“y-yeah! it was great!! didn’t know you can sing so well”

“h-haha thanks”

“y-you’re welcome”

silence

more silence

wonpil clears his throat and, “so…”

you blink fast, “yeah…?”

“um uhhh do you wanna see around? i can take you”

“oH of course”

What Am I Even Writing Anymore

well remember your promise earlier? about asking him out?? no???

is it too late to chicken out and forget the whole thing now

you barely know each other it’s so awkward and he looks so fine today and you really don’t wanna push him even further now but if you hesitate longer who knows someone else will ask him first and just the thought alone breaks your heart a little bit

so it’s time to grow a pair and take risks cmon dude you can do this

one

two

“anywaysijustwonderifyou'refreenextsaturday?”

wait

it was!! not!!! your voice!!!!

“huh?”

wonpil clears his throat and repeats slower, “i just wonder if you’re uhhhh free next saturday?”

o shit

o fUck YeAH

you cough a bit before answering, “y-y-yeah i guess??”

“ok um i like, have two tickets for movie if you want to come with me”

that’s like the lamest invitation and you yourself gotta admit that lmao

but oh kim wonpil,, dear,,,, there’s no way i would say no

so you two go on a date

or “casual outing” as you two call it

but everyone knows it’s a date okay even though you two didn’t have any skinskip oops

it’s okay it takes a bit of time but you’ll get there

i mean, since then you two go out together almost every weekend so ye it won’t be that long until the awkwardness wears off

wonpil just cherish you so much he’s afraid he’ll scare you or hurt your feeling by accident so he never boldly initiates anything

the first time you two finally holding hands is when you two go skating, and that’s just because you two are so bad at that

gotta hold each other so you won’t keep falling aye romance

you don’t know this but trust me wonpil talks about it for days sungjin almost decides to move out

he’s still insisting it’s not a date tho

“you know what, i can already imagine you two in like 10 years, standing at the altar and be like, do you marry me as a friend or what? unclear”

“do you think we’ll get married?????”

“oh dear god”

but yeah

you two will get there

somehow

just take your sweet time and give wonpil all the love in the world i beg you

that’s it YAY i think imma work on sungjin’s next wish me luck im running out of lame cliche ideas now lol bye

[foreverwayward]

“Wayward Hearts” Prequel: Family Above All

This is a prequel chapter to the series “Wayward Hearts”, a SPN series rewrite with OFC Riley Munroe. If you haven’t read Season 1′s Chapter 9 of the series, there are spoilers ahead. The whole chapter is told from Jackson Munroe’s POV, Riley’s father.  

MASTERLIST

Content Warnings: Language, violence

Word Count: 3962

Jackon’s POV:

Sometimes I would wonder if I was doing right by Riley. No one deserves to grow up in the life of a hunter. Especially not my girl; she’s something special. 

The day she was born was the happiest day of mine and Linda’s lives. Riley was so beautiful...perfect even. I’ll never forget the first time her big blue eyes looked up at me--I was done for. She already had me wrapped around her finger. I knew in that moment that I would move Heaven and Earth to keep her safe.

But when Linda died, everything changed. I wanted more than anything to be a good father, but I was restless and weak with vengeance. My wife was slaughtered, leaving my daughter without her mother. How was I supposed to go on with my life as if it never happened? I couldn’t. So I dove head first into the world of the supernatural. Once I learned the truth, I knew what I had to do. I had to save other families from suffering like mine had and I had to hunt down the son of a bitch that ruined my life.

Deb had been my saving grace. The road was no place for a baby girl and she happily took Riley in. But my sister hated the job and everything about it. She begged me to move on and to stay, but I just wouldn’t have been able to live with myself.

As the years went on, I would always come home to Riley as much as I could. When I was with her, the job stopped; nothing else mattered except the little girl that wanted all my attention. It didn’t matter if she wanted to play Barbies, have a tea party, or learn to shoot a gun, I was there to do it with her every chance I got.

I’m an empath. I have been since I was in my early twenties. No one ever knew though. It was a secret I held from everyone, even the people I loved. But it brought me closer to Deb and to my daughter. It made the love I shared with Linda so powerful that I felt a part of my soul die with her that night. I always knew what Riley was feeling and how to be what she needed. Having a girl is never easy as a single father and I needed all the help I could get. In that regard, I thanked my lucky stars for my gift.

Riley couldn’t have been older than eight during one of my visits and she was furious with me as I packed to leave again. She told me she wanted to go with me and that she was strong enough to be by my side. It killed me to watch her yell at me for the first time and cry as she begged me to take her. I could feel so much anger, hurt...betrayal even. The thought that Riley may have even doubted my love for her was enough to have me crying in my truck when I left.

But when Riley was eleven, and against my sister’s protesting, I took her with me. Of course, I had to ease her into hunting and I only took her on the more simple cases. 

As she got older, Riley became a force to be reckoned with. Hunting came so easy to her, almost as easily as when she learned to play the guitar. I’d never seen anyone handle a gun as effortlessly as she did. As terrified as I was every time we went on a hunt, I couldn’t help but beam with pride every time I watched her shine. And she did, she always shined.

I tried to give her anything that resembled a normal life on the road. We stopped at tourist attractions, we went to see bands play, we even went to Disneyland. Honestly, I never knew a father and daughter could be so close. 

Riley was my partner and I trusted her with my life.

Music was our own language. It was singing at the top of our lungs to Bob Seger on long trips, or her playing her guitar in our motel room, or sneaking her into concerts of our favorite bands. It was almost our own language and I think it bonded us in an inexplicable way.

What I ever did to deserve that beautiful girl, is beyond me.

------

It was hot that day and even into the night; I remember that too well. Riley had complained most of the day about the muggy weather. She always did better in the cold. 

We had just spent a fruitless day hunting a shifter and researching for countless hours on the local murders. All of the victims had been slaughtered, their throats slit open. No matter what lead we followed, we were always three steps behind it. 

The bastard was good, I’d give it that much.

We sat on our beds in the motel room and talked as Riley strummed her guitar. Both of us were tired, feeling somewhat defeated after a week of coming up empty-handed. But still, we joked and laughed almost like old friends over memories and battles won.

“Dad, I’m starving,” Riley whined. “Can we please get dinner? It’s like, nine o’clock already.”

I just kind of chuckled. “Yeah, I’ve always been bad about us eating on time, huh?”

“Ya think?”

“Alright, alright...you win. I’m going.” I got up and grabbed my wallet and keys off the bedside table. As I got ready to go, I asked, “pizza okay?”

She stopped playing for a second and eyed me teasingly. “Uh...yeah. Just don’t forget the beer this time. Remember, I’m 21 now, so you’re not breaking the law anymore. Wait...we always break the law. Whatever--beer, father!”

As I laughed, I turned back one more time before closing the door behind me. “When I get back, we’re finishing that poker game. I’m gonna win my money back.”

“Ha!” Riley snarked playfully. “You wish. Hurry back.”

“I always do, baby girl.” I shut the door behind me and went to my truck. 

The pizza place everyone in town had been raving about was only a couple of miles away. Riley was dying to try it so I knew I had to bring it back for her.

When I got there, the line was surprisingly long for late at night. In all fairness, it was a Friday. So, I placed my order and waited for my number to be called. 

I knew it would be a bit so I went across the street to the liquor store to get our favorite beer. The smell of it always reminded me of fun nights off that Riley and I enjoyed together. 

When I got back to the shop, my order was ready. I looked at my watch and realized I had already been gone for forty minutes. The trip definitely took longer than I thought. But with my mission accomplished, I headed back for the motel.

The loud night insects chirped through the thick heat as I got out of my truck. I balanced the pizza carefully as I shut the door and locked it. I think I was humming Led Zeppelin after listening to it on my way back when I looked up to see the door to the room was somewhat open. 

Something didn’t feel right, but I just thought maybe Riley gone out for a soda and forgot to close the door. But--she would never do that...she knows better.

“Hello?” I went inside and immediately put the food and beer onto the small table by the door. 

When I stepped out from behind the room partition, my heart stopped when I saw the room practically painted in blood. My chest rose and fell so fast I could barely catch my breath. “Riley…?” 

I noticed something from behind the far bed; Riley’s boots were peeking out, completely still. My knees nearly collapsed underneath me and I screamed deep from the pit of my stomach. “No!” I ran to her and gasped when I saw her body on the floor, drenched in blood. 

Throwing myself to the ground, I picked her head up into my lap. When I did, it exposed her neck and I could see a deep slit through her throat that had nearly cut all the way through. Her head practically flopped into my grip. I felt like I would vomit as I felt her still warm blood on my hands.

I cradled her in my arms and pushed the hair back from her face. She was so pale and empty with her blue eyes still somewhat open. 

“Baby girl…” I sobbed. “Oh, honey. No, baby, no. Come back to me. Don’t leave me, Riley! I need you.” She was gone. Her lifeless body was limp against me as my clothes grew soaked in her blood. I rocked her back and forth as I cried so loud it hurt. I think I may have even screamed her name.

Then I realized, that connection between us, that empathic bond I always had with her...it wasn’t there anymore. It was an emptiness that I had never felt in my life, like my heart had gone hallow. Without her there, I felt the life being sucked from me. 

Riley was my life. I don’t know how long I sat there holding her, time seemed to no longer be a factor. I think I was coming in and out of a state of shock. 

It must have been a few hours later that I finally tried to stand and my body could barely hold me up. 

I scooped Riley into my arms just like I did when she was little and laid her on the bed. I closed her eyes and kissed her forehead. 

“I love you, Riley…”

As my thoughts vaguely returned, it dawned on me; it was the shifter--it had to be. Everything inside me was ready to hunt the son of a bitch down and put him down like the piece of shit he was. But then I remembered, revenge is what drove me into this life. Killing the monster that took my daughter wouldn’t bring me peace and it wouldn’t bring her back. And if that was true...how was I supposed to live without her? How could I go on without my daughter? 

The simple answer was...I couldn’t. There was no place for me in a world without Riley.

Leaning over, I kissed her head one last time as tears fell down my cheeks. I stroked her hair and looked at her beautiful face. “I’m so sorry. I should have been here. I should have protected you. But I’m gonna make this right...I promise.” I sobbed some more before forcing myself away from her. “I love you more than life, baby girl.” 

It took all the strength I had to walk to grab my bag and walk to the door. I had to fix it all, and I knew how.

I drove faster than I ever had in my life as I sucked down the last of the Jack Daniels I had left in the car. It mixed with the tears that wouldn’t stop falling and I had hoped it would numb me--but it didn’t. 

Finally, I pulled up to an old abandoned barn on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. My truck skid on the dirt as I slammed it to a halt. 

Grabbing my bag, I got out and strode inside. My stomach was turning with emotion and pain. 

I wasn’t afraid. My worst nightmares had already come to life; nothing else I could possibly face would terrify me more. 

I used my boot to clear the floor of debris. With white chalk, I knelt down and drew a large symbol on the concrete ground. Around the symbol were circles that had red candles that I had placed into each one. I crushed ingredients into a mortar bowl and sat it on the ground. 

Pulling my blade from my boot, I sliced open my palm as I began to recite a Latin incantation. My blood dripped into the bowl as I struck another match, finished the last of the spell, and then dropped the lit stick into the bowl. 

Immediately, a bright and strong flame came to life. It sparkled and blazed as I covered my eyes to its blinding light before it quickly died. 

I stood to my feet and looked around. Alone in the dark, I waited with deadly silence surrounding me. This was my only shot...it had to work.

“Jackson Munroe,” a sinister voice said from the dark corner and I turned to look. Out came a man I had never seen before, but when his eyes glowed yellow and I knew...it was him. “You got some real balls to summon me.”

“Well, our meeting has been a long time coming, Azazel.”

“Ooh. You know my name. I feel so special.” The demon waltzed over to me with a grin on his face. “So, where’s the little feisty one that’s always at your side?” His face feigned worry. “Oh, no. Did something happen?”

I felt my blood boil. I could tell the son of a bitch already knew the answer to his own question. “I wanna make a deal.”

“I’m intrigued, Jack. Do go on.” He began to circle around me, sizing me up with his eyes fixated on me.

“Riley’s dead. But I think you already know that. Don’t you?”

Azazel pretended to think. “Riley...Riley...Riley...oh! Oh, yes. I may have heard.”

“You’re gonna bring her back,” I demanded.

“Am I? Oh, Jackson, I love when you take control like that.” He stopped and grew closer to me as he hissed, “and if I did...what’s in it for me?”

I paused before I took a deep breath and told him, “I am.”

The demon laughed and clapped his hands together with joy as his smile grew all cross his face. “Well, hot damn! It’s my lucky night, isn’t it? The soul of Jackson Munroe...all mine.”

“But I have conditions.”

“Of course, you do. And what are they, pray tell?”

Swallowing hard at the thought of my daughter alone in that motel room, I told him, “you’re gonna bring her back and she’s not gonna remember any of it--it’ll be like it never happened.”

“Done.”

“Alright, and in ten years...I’m yours.”

The demon shook his finger condescendingly. “Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You see...I have some conditions myself.” Azazel looked me dead in my eyes and I felt the black hole inside him. There was an evil that I had never felt before and it turned my stomach. “Riley comes back and it’ll all be like a bad dream. But, you--you come with me...tonight.”

I scoffed. “That’s not how these deals work.”

“Them’s the brakes, baby. You are the most powerful empath I have ever known. I want you gone--out of the picture--sayonara. Either you take my offer, or you take care of Riley’s body before it rots and starts to stink up the place.” The thought made me want to cry but I wouldn’t dare in front of that evil creature. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “Going once…going twice...”

“Fine,” I blurted out. “But I get to see her again. I get to say goodbye.”

“Aw, one final father-daughter moment for the books. Precious.” He thought for a second and then said, “fine. But you’re to come back here in one hour. Any longer than that and little Riley drops dead with her throat all sliced up again. Got it?”

“Deal,” I gritted through my teeth.

Azazel chuckled. “Excellent. Care to shake on it?” He extended his hand and I felt my heart skip a beat as I reached out in return. The demon’s hand squeezed mine tightly as he smirked. “Pleasure doing business with you, Jack. But, uh--better get going. Time’s already ticking.”

------

With the change of clothes I had in the back seat, I cleaned myself up as fast as I could and dumped the soiled jeans and shirt in a dumpster. 

I hurried back to the motel and my brakes squealed as I parked. My feet sprinted me to the door and I practically busted it open. 

I felt as though I would fall to the ground as I saw my beautiful daughter, eating the pizza I had gotten earlier. The room was just like it was before; not a trace of the brutal scene that had happened only hours before.

“Hey, where the hell did you go, old man?” 

I ran to her and picked her up into a hug and held her tight. 

Riley grunted in surprise and held me in return. “Uh, Dad--you’re being weird,” she said with her mouth still somewhat full of her most recent bite.

As I let her go, I looked her over and studied every corner of her face. Those blue eyes that I loved more than the air I breathed were looking back at me. I could feel her again and I finally was whole once more.

“I’m sorry, baby girl. I just--I just hadn’t hugged you enough today is all.” I tried so hard not to cry, but there was such a conflict of joy at seeing her again mixed with the thought of knowing I had to leave her. “How--how’s the pizza?” I asked through my cracking voice.

“Mm...so good. Definitely one for the books.” Riley stared up at me and scrunched her forehead. “What’s wrong? Something’s wrong. You’re making a weird ass face.”

I couldn’t help the laugh that came from me. She always knew how to make me smile. “No, it’s all good. I promise. Uh--mind if I get in on some of that pizza?”

“Better do it soon, or I’m gonna handle it myself.”

We sat on the bed together and ate as we drank our beers. I never took my eyes off her as I tried to memorize her every movement, laugh, smile, and dimple in her face. Riley was more than I could have ever hoped she would be. She inspired me and made me a better man every day. It was with her that I truly lived.

I looked at the clock and saw I had fifteen minutes to get back to the barn. I couldn’t be late, I knew I had to say goodbye. 

Pretending I had a realization, I choked out, “oh, man.”

“What?”

“I forgot. I’m meeting a possible lead on the case tonight.”

Riley looked at me with uncertainty. “Uh--I didn’t hear anything about that. Who are you meeting?”

“Just some guy who has some surveillance footage. He may have caught the shifter’s eye flare.”

“Okay, well I’ll get my stuff and we’ll go.”

“No,” I said gently. “I’m gonna go alone.”

She eyed me and shook her head lightly. “Why? We always go together.”

“I just--I don’t wanna spook the guy, you know?”

“Alright…” Riley was curious and almost offended. I could feel all of it. “Well, I guess I’ll wait here then.”

“Yeah. Lock the door, okay?” I threw my arms around her again and pulled her closer to me on the bed. Taking a deep breath, I inhaled her scent one last time and kissed the top of her head. “You are the most important thing in the world to me. I’m so sorry if I failed you in any way, Riley--I hope you know I tried. I love you so much. Please, baby...don’t ever forget that.”

“Why are you talking like this?”

“Promise me, you won’t forget.”

She looked me in the eye and her voice went soft. “Okay. I promise, Dad. I love you too.”

Those words were enough to make my eyes well. I had to go or she would see me cry and I couldn’t let her. 

As I got up to leave, I looked back at her one last time. The knot in my throat grew so large I thought I’d never swallow again. “I love you,” I choked out.

“...love you,” she answered meekly.

I closed the door and almost ran to my truck. If I didn’t force myself, I didn’t know how I could ever leave her. I peeled out of the parking lot and floored the gas as I grabbed my cell phone. Flipping it open, I called the only person that I trusted...John Winchester.

“Jackson,” he said as he picked up. “It’s late. What’s going on?” The words wouldn’t come out and I didn’t know what I could say. “Jack...you there?”

I cleared my throat. “Yeah, yeah, I’m here. Listen, I need your help.”

“Name it.”

“I had to make a tough call tonight, John. It’s not gonna be good but what’s done is done.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Yellow Eyes. I made a deal.”

There was a silence on the line before he found the words. “You--you what?”

“I don’t have time to tell you everything. All you need to know is I’m fine with what’s gonna happen. I don’t regret my decision. Riley’s safe and that’s all that matters.”

“Jack, where are you? I’m coming to get you.”

“It’s done, John. I’ll be at an old barn off highway 34. Don’t tell Riley anything.”

John’s voice shifted to anger. “Jackson, you listen to me. You aren’t allowed to bail, you got that? You don’t get to just check out.”

“It was the only way to save her. Swear to me you won’t tell her. Just say as little as possible--tell her you don’t know anything.”

“Jack!”

“Goddammit, John...swear to me!”

There was a pause and I heard John take a deep breath. “Alright, Jackson. You have my word.”

“Thank you.” I thought back at my friendship with John and all we’d been through together. He was my partner at times and taught me so much. I wouldn’t be who I am without him. “Thank you for everything, John. It’s been a hell of a ride, partner. Watch out for my girl...I’ll see ya.” 

I ended the call and turned off my phone before chucking it onto the seat.

As I found my way back to the barn, I glanced at the clock on my stereo to see I had five minutes left. 

I got out and looked at my truck one more time, patting the hood with a small smirk. It may sound cheesy, but damn I loved that car.

The skies above me rumbled and I could feel a storm coming. 

With a deep breath, I walked inside only to find it was empty. Was Azazel playing games with me? 

Inside, I could hear the sound of sudden rain pour down over the barn. It was almost deafening as thunder rolled through.

“Alright, you fucker. I’m here.”

“No need for language, Jack.” The voice behind me nearly sent chills up my spine and I spun to face him. “So glad you could make it. Did you have a good time?”

I felt my jaw clench with rage. I wanted that piece of shit dead with every fiber of my being, but Riley had to come first, she always had to come first. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“No complaints from me on that end.” Azazel locked eyes with me and I knew I was staring into the face of pure evil. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

Time seemed to stop for a brief moment as my life flashed before my eyes. Memories of Linda, Riley playing on the swings, dinners with Deb, watching my little girl become the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen...and it all reminded me of something. The last twenty-one years of my life may have brought me face to face with Hell, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything else. The life I lived with my daughter was more than any man ever deserved.

I was at peace knowing my baby girl was gonna be okay. There was no doubt in my mind that she had been worth it all. 

My life may have been over, but Riley’s was just beginning. The world doesn’t deserve my daughter. But, Riley? She deserves the world.

“I love you, baby girl.”

------

Prequel Part 2: Tears In Heaven

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[robertemeryofficial]

Preparing for a concert: A conductors point of view

Preparing for a concert is a bit like preparing for a job interview; with the exception that you face a panel of 80 or so players, staring and waiting to decide in the first five minutes of a rehearsal if you're the worst candidate in history or not. That first three-hundred seconds can make or break you, regardless if you have a baton in your hand or just a good old CV - and as anyone who has been successful in an interview knows, it's all in the preparation. So how does this conductor prepare for those three-hundred seconds?

First Steps

My first step is getting a job in the first place! There is a technique to this, and it's mostly called luck. After that, add in a peppering of contacts, mix in the ability to blackmail a concert promoter with the secret photos of them and the local sheep, and finally garnish with a bit more luck, and Bob's Your Uncle. Now I have the job, I need the music.

Well over half of the concerts I conduct I orchestrate. This means it's my responsibility to fill the orchestral blank pages with squashed flies and hope they sound harmonious. Orchestration is a complicated affair and one that I'll explore in another post. That leaves the other half of my concerts where the music is already written. It's the promoter or orchestras responsibility to post out the substantial, A3 sized scores to me; and when the postman rings the doorbell, I have a mixture of excitement and mild panic at the mountain I'm about to climb.

The Score

The conductor's score is a culmination of all the individual instrumental parts. It has every element that'll be performed on the page, so that means a lot of information crammed into a relatively small space; similar to a miniaturised version of the Bible without the whole parting of the seas thing.

Once I have my scores, I'll try to find existing recordings of the work. It's a lot easier studying the scores knowing how the piece actually sounds. If I am allowed to keep my scores, then I'll use brightly coloured pens to make notes. In a pressured environment such as a concert, the last thing I need is to look down at a faint pencil mark and wonder what on earth I've written. If however, I need to return the scores after the concert, then I have no choice but to use a pencil. But what do I doodle on my page?

Here is a perfect example. When I have a new orchestra with only a three-hour rehearsal and straight into a performance, one of my primary responsibilities is to give confidence to players by being clear with their entry. A player may sit for twenty bars or more without a single note, and instead of dreaming about their next holiday, they have to count the empty bars so they can enter successfully when they need to play next. If you have ever tried to do this, it's surprisingly easy for your mind to wonder, and before you know it, you have no idea how many bars are left before you need to play. This is where I can help, look at them and indicate that they need to play. As there are literally thousands of entries in a piece of music, I can't be there for everyone, so I need to choose the entries that will make a real difference if it's missing. This red marking is telling me 'make sure this player is going to play the part, and if needed, help them out'.

This is a score from a concert I'm about to conduct in Poland with Stewart Copeland. It's a European tour called 'Light Up The Orchestra' showcasing some of Stewart's film music. From looking at the scores, I could immediately see one of the main challenges will be rhythm. As Stewart is probably the world's most famous drummer, and their main occupation is hitting things as hard as possible to complicated rhythms, it's no wonder that his orchestral works need Einstein to figure out the rhythm.

Predicting Problems

To a non-musician, rhythm is a difficult concept to understand; 'how do you read those dots in real time and play your instrument, not only figuring out what note to play but in what rhythm?' But reading music is just the same as reading this article. Your brain learns patterns incredbly quickly, it summarises the word and makes an educated guess at what it says. If a word is spelt wrong, you can still read it successfully, and sometimes you'll not even notice. Did you realise I spelt the word 'incredibly' wrong in the penultimate sentence? Your brain uses the same technique with rhythm on a sheet of music. There are probably only 30-50 everyday rhythms, so once they are learnt, they seem natural. Unfortunately, Mr Copeland clearly thought this was boring, so he decided to use rhythmic structures that are challenging. And although they look complicated on the page, once you've figured them out, they 'feel' very natural and one just has to remember to 'feel' the rhythm when playing rather than analysing it. And the reason for telling you all this? I can safely predict which rhythms will be tricky for the orchestra, so I need to learn them in advance; or I'll be another puzzled musician with a metaphorical question mark above my head; which is no use to anyone.

Discovering The Unusual

After figuring out which entries I need to be aware of, and any challenging features of the music, I need to check for out-of-the-ordinary techniques. The beautiful thing about music is that the rules are flexible, and creativity is king. So if a composer instructs a player to pluck the strings inside a piano, or the percussionist to use a typewriter for a sound effect, I need to know this in advance. The strangest thing in Stewart Copeland's music is to play the guitar like 'Hank Marvin', the percussionist needs a 'Trash Can' to hit, and the pianist needs to play a cluster of notes with his elbow - so I think I'm safe!

After discovering all of those things, I just need to practice conducting any tricky parts and read the scores as much as possible to immerse myself in the music. If I do this well enough, I can stand in front of the orchestra and hopefully pass the test!

Checklist

Leading up to the big day, and for me that is flying to Poland at 5am on Saturday morning, I need to tick off my checklist:

And yes, this list is essential. I once conducted for Raymond Blanc at his world-famous restaurant Le Manoir aux Quat' Saisons in Oxfordshire, and I completely forgot to bring any concert clothes. Thankfully I realised just in time for my assistant to break into my house and drive up the motorway to meet me ten minutes before curtain up. I've also forgotten my baton many a time, have left all my music at home and had to reprint all 1,000 pages at the venue. Most hilariously, I forgot to bring shoes to a memorial concert (where I thought it was only proper to wear footwear!), so I sent my mother out to High-Quality-Footwear Street in Blackpool (sadly she couldn't find that specific street so ended up at Primark) to buy me a pair. I've even forgotten my belt, and as my trousers were on the large side, I thought the idea of accosting an audience member to borrow a bit of black leather was a more appropriate option than the audience watching my bottom wobble around.

Wish Me Luck

So as you can see, being a conductor is much more than turning up and waving a stick. It's turning up, waving a stick and pretending to know what you're doing with limited prep time. At the end of the night, if I'm not booed off stage by the orchestra, I know I've done well. With any luck, the next candidate isn't as well prepared as I am, or I may need to find a sheep photo for them too.

If you want to find out more about Stewart Copeland, his life and work, listen to my podcast interview with the legend here:

Books & Podcast recommendations discussing working in the music business and Stewart Copeland

The Bulletproof Musician - an excellent blog and resource useful for all musicians. Fantastic advise that will help any aspiring or professional muso to learn how performance psychology can help you play your best when it counts.

The Musician's Way: A Guide to Practice, Performance, and Wellness - Veteran performer and educator Gerald Klickstein combines the latest research with his 30 years of professional experience to provide aspiring musicians with a roadmap to artistic excellence.

The Alexander Technique for Musicians - This is a unique guide for all musicians, providing a practical, informative approach to being a successful and comfortable performer.

Strange Things Happen: A life with The Police, polo and pygmies - an autobiography from Stewart covering everything you need to know

Dare to Drum - a story of the rock star composer teaming up with the Dallas Symphony Orchestra

Ben Hur live by Stewart Copeland - a CD performed by the Slovak National Symphony Orchestra

Orchestralli (+ bonus) - a 2 disk set of Copeland performing in concert with a select group of classical musicians on tour in Italy

Gizmodrome - a record of Copeland’s latest band, featuring Mark King (Level 42), Adrian Belew (ex King Crimson, David Bowie, Frank Zappa, Talking Heads) and Vittorio Cosma (PFM and Elio e le Storie Tese).

The Police: Everyone Stares - The Police Inside Out - DVD filmed on Super-8 giving an insider’s view of the band’s rise to fame and eventual split.

Related & Recommended Posts

[actual-dunwich-horror]

@whistlingstarlight Now for part 2 with the current era IV ghouls, under the cut!

Dewdrop ghoul:

Despite his name, Dewdrop is the era IV fire ghoul! He uses the same guitar as Alpha/Ifrit. Dew stands out both on and off stage; on stage, he's super energetic, loves messing with his bandmates, and takes many opportunities to make lewd gestures and lick things. I'm not kidding, nor am I exaggerating. He's also easy to spot off-stage because he's super skinny and actually quite small.

Aether ghoul:

Aether is era IV's quintessence ghoul! He uses the same guitar that Omega used, minus the sticker, and is also a big boy. I think it's a requirement that quintessence ghouls have to be big. Aside from being big, he's pretty easy to spot because usually he has his sleeves rolled up to his elbows (but not in this ^ pic, haha) and he's always wearing a chain bracelet (seen in the pic) on his left wrist. Copia/Papa IV also loves to touch his butt/thighs, so if you've seen any of those gifs/videos... this is who that ghoul is. (also Dew LOVES to pester him)

Rain ghoul:

Rain is era IV's water ghoul. He uses the same bass that Mist/Water used. He can be a little harder to spot when he doesn't have his bass, but occasionally he'll have his sleeves rolled up. He isn't as well-noticed as Dew and Aether but he has his energetic moments, usually with the other guitarists!

Mountain ghoul:

Mountain is era IV's earth ghoul! He's a beast on the drums!!! He doesn't interact with his bandmates a whole lot but he's still a blast to watch. He's pretty easy to spot because he's pretty tall (hence the name Mountain!) and he's also kinda awkward, but we love that about him. Also, fun fact: he doesn't like to wear shoes on-stage. He plays the drums in his socks sometimes :)

Cirrus ghoulette:

Cirrus is one of era IV's air ghoulettes (there's two of em!) She plays the keyboards as well as the keytar, and her keytar solo is AMAZING in their song Mummy Dust. The ghoulettes of this era are extremely easy to spot and differentiate. Their masks are the first big difference, of course, but secondly; Cirrus is the taller and thinner of the two ghoulettes, and she usually has her sleeves rolled up. She's badass but also a big sweetheart towards the crowd and her bandmates. Her and Cumulus are so adorable together <3

Cumulus ghoulette:

Cumulus is the other of era IV's two air ghoulettes! She plays the keyboards alongside Cirrus, but she also plays the tambourine and backup vocals. And lemme just say, she has the voice of an ANGEL (er, fallen angel? ghouls are basically demons, so.) She's easy to tell apart from Cirrus because she's shorter and thicker. She's so underrated and talented and I feel like she's often overlooked! Her and Cirrus seriously are so sweet together I cannot stress enough how wonderful they are together

Swiss Army ghoul:

Last but not least, Swiss is era IV's multi-instrumentalist! He can be seen playing backup guitar (a different one from Aether and Dew), the acoustic guitar, the tambourine, or singing backup vocals. Sometimes he's basically just a backup dancer too :) his shoulder shimmies are to die for. He has his sleeves rolled up about half the time, so that makes him easier to spot, but usually you can just find him up on his lil perch on the back side of the stage. He's very energetic and flirtatious with his bandmates, he's always so fun to watch!

OKAY I THINK THAT'S IT. Sorry that's a lot of info to throw at you, I'm just very passionate about this band. Hope this clears things up tho, the ghouls are so fun <3

Back already to ask more about Ghost ksjdjsd-

Is there a way to tell the ghouls apart?

Oh boy, there is a way to tell them apart but I'll be honest, it's more difficult! And it's even more difficult when they aren't holding their instruments... I'm gonna have to split this into two parts so keep an eye out for a reblog after I post the first part of this ask!

A guide to ghouls under the cut:

The first thing you should know is that each Papa has their own unique ghouls! Here's what each of them look like:

Papa I ghouls:

Papa II ghouls:

Papa III ghouls:

Copia/Papa IV ghouls:

So there's all the different Papas ghouls! Now for the hard part; differentiating which ghoul is which.

There's a really cool system to the ghouls; each instrument is a different element:

Lead guitar: Fire

Rhythm guitar: Quintessence

Bass guitar: Water

Drums: Earth

Keyboard(s): Air

Multi-instrumental/backup vocals: Multi

The only two eras of ghouls that have named characters would be Era III and Era IV, so let's get into those! For Era III, some of them are simple: the keyboardist is named Air, the drummer is Earth, and there are actually two bassists during Era III, one of which are just named Water (but sometimes people call him Delta?). For the others, well, here's a lil guide to them:

Alpha/Ifrit ghoul:

Alpha, sometimes called Ifrit, is era III's fire ghoul and lead guitarist! His guitar is white, and when he doesn't have his guitar, a good way of distinguishing him is the tattoos on his hands.

Omega ghoul:

Omega (my absolute favorite of all the ghouls!!) is era III's quintessence ghoul! His guitar is black and has the omega symbol on it, and he's easy to differentiate because he's big (but in a good way, hehe) and he wears matching rings on both hands, sometimes on his middle fingers, sometimes on his ring fingers.

Mist ghoulette:

Mist, the middle in the pic, is Ghost's very first ghoulette, and one of era III's water ghouls! She's a little hard to spot sometimes because she wore the same costume and mask as the others, but she was a lot smaller than the others, and her shoes were also different. Hers had more of a heel to them while the others wore regular dress shoes. (she's so underrated, I love her so much)

Special ghoul:

Special ghoul, sometimes called Phil thanks to an interview he did, is era III's multi-instrumentalist. He can be found in the back usually playing a black guitar (different from Omega's) or the acoustic guitar, while singing backup vocals. Also, if you watch interviews on youtube with an era III ghoul, there's a 95% chance it's with Special. He's the one they put up to doing all of those. When he's not in a video or holding an instrument, though, he's a bit harder to spot.

Cowbell ghoul:

Cowbell ghoul was only in a few shows for a few songs and was actually just Ghost's tour manager having fun with the band. He was very short-lived but he was very fun. We all love Cowbell in this household. <3

OKAY I'm gonna continue this in the reblogs bc I almost hit the limit on pictures, so keep an eye out for part 2 where I talk about the current ghouls as I feel they're the ones that are most well known throughout the fandom! I have a lot to say about them, ahaha.

[jae-bummer]

Punishment

Request: DAY6 Brian + prompt 2. + 20. + very fluffy? :) Thank you so much :)

2) “I’m always tired…but never of you.” 

20) Your bias takes care of you as a trainee

Member: Day6′s Young K x Y/N

Type: Fluff

You grumbled to yourself, cursing quietly as you plucked another cotton ball from the large bag of tools you had been given. You were hot and thoroughly frustrated as you pushed a hair away from your forehead with the back of your hand. Biting at your lip, you were careful to rub at the small spot of grime on the guitar fretboard with a cotton swab, not wanting to drench the surface.  

“So what did you do to get such an entertaining punishment?” a deep voice echoed across the music room. 

Not bothering to look up, you quickly slid your tongue over your lips to moisten your mouth. You hadn’t spoken to anyone in hours and you could feel the need for a break coming on. “I had a bad attitude during practice...whatever that means.” 

“Ah, so that warranted cleaning all of the instruments in the practice room?” the voice continued, slight joy in it’s tone. 

You heaved a deep sigh, looking up in annoyance only to immediately drop your scowl. “Oh, Young K, it’s you?” 

“Brian,” he smiled easily, plopping onto a piano bench near where you were sitting on the hardwood. 

“That’s the first time I’ve heard that correction from your mouth,” you chuckled quietly, focusing on the fretboard again. You tried to halt the quickened pace of your heart and attempted to center your thoughts. He was just a person, no reason to feel nervous around him. 

You had met Brian on three or four previous occasions, and had a pleasant memory of interacting with him. He always had time for a joke or a story and had even bought you and a few other trainees food. As a trainee, you never heard much from the idols that had debuted, their schedules becoming dizzying with activities as soon as their names were broadcast. The appearance of Brian in your presence was startling, but you were pleasantly surprised. Due to his kindness, Day6 had always been a group that you followed. Plus he was gorgeous. 

But that could be said about all of your label mates. 

Somehow you managed to see with constant hearts impairing your vision, but as was life in Korean entertainment. Every person was just as good looking and talented as the next. 

But this good looking and talented person was directly in front of you after months of not seeing his face. . 

And you were having a difficult time coping. 

“What do you mean?” Brian asked, his words helping you resurface from your thoughts.  

“I’ve seen you on broadcasts before,” you said slowly, looking up to him again. Goodness, those cheekbones were so sharp they could cut through steel. Wait, no, you had to focus. “You’re very persistent about the use of your stage name.” 

“What’s the point in a stage name if no one uses it?” he grinned. “But I see you’re interested in your label mate’s activities? I’ll have to return the favor-”

“If I ever start any activities,” you grumbled. “If I ever debut. Chances seem to be slim around this place.” 

“I can see why they put you on guitar cleaning duty,” Brian croaked. “You do have a bad attitude.”

“Oh come on,” you groaned. You pushed the guitar you were cleaning away and winced as it made a hollow noise against the floor. You looked around, careful not to stick yourself with any of the strings you had unstrung, and crossed your arms. “You should know how it is better than anyone.”

You bit your lip, uncertain if you should be speaking to your sunbae in this way. You had joked around before with Brian, but this was a completely different emotion coating your conversation. You were entirely too frustrated for the evening and lacked enough sleep to speak respectively. You were hoping he would give you the benefit of the doubt and not leave, but he probably assumed by now that you were just an unappreciative brat. 

Instead of excusing himself as you had expected, he took a deep breath and slid from the piano stool, plopping on the ground before you. You watched him closely as he took the guitar carefully into his hands and picked up one of the cotton balls you had discarded. Dipping it gently into the small bowl of water near your knee, he methodically wrung it out before placing it on the fretboard again. He begun to work on the bit of dirt you had abandoned and spoke quietly. “You know, this was my favorite guitar when I was a trainee.” 

“Really?” you asked, lifting your brows. “I assumed you had your own instruments...since you were a band and all.” 

“We never knew how it would turn out,” Brian sighed. “The whole Day6 thing. I could have debuted with a boy group for all we know. It’s not like I dance like Sungjin. I had half of a chance. I like to imagine that there’s an alternate universe Young K that debuted in a boy group and has sweet dance moves.” 

You smiled as he did, the air around you becoming much less tense than it had been only a few moments before. Brian looked up from his work, smiling slowly as his eyes searched your face. “Want to know a secret?” 

“Of course,” you hummed, pulling your knees up to sit beneath your chin. 

“I think I’ve had to clean these instruments at least a dozen times for having a bad attitude,” he laughed. 

You grinned, incapable of maintaining your rotten mood as he spoke. His presence was so calming and made you feel much better to know that he really could relate. He looked back down to the guitar, the meaning behind his motions touching your heart. His cleaning was such a kind gesture, you knew he had taken over so you could calm yourself. 

“Brian?” you asked quietly, tilting your head as you admired him. 

“Hm?” he hummed, not even looking up. 

“Why did you stop by?” you sighed. “I’m sure you’re busy. And it’s late.” 

“Contrary to popular belief,” he sighed. “I don’t avoid the JYP building when I have downtime. I like to utilize the practice room still, even now that I have my own instruments.” He looked up and winked before passing the guitar back to you, keeping his hands supporting the neck until your fingers had grazed his. “There you go, I think I got that spot for you.” 

“Thank you,” you nodded quietly. “So really, I should restring this and get out of your way?” 

“Now did I say that?” he gasped. “You really are feeling down. What happened in practice to make you feel like this?” 

“It’s not one thing exactly...” you sighed. “And I’m sure you have much better things to do than listen to a trainee gripe about their problems. You’re probably tired, why don’t you go get some rest?” 

“Y/N,” Brian grinned. “I’m always tired, but never of you. Now spill.” 

Your heart soared from his declaration, but you were still self conscious as you began to speak. You didn’t want to sound whiny, but you were exhausted. “It’s just a lot sometimes,” you finally whispered, your head dropping so you would’t have to look at him. “And it’s hard to be positive all the time...

But then that effects the group...and that effects practice for everyone. Sometimes I just wonder if it’s worth it. If the dieting and the constant aches and homesickness...is worth it.” 

“I still wonder that and I’ve debuted,” Brian laughed. Your eyes grew wide at his statement, but he instantly began to backpedal, placing his hand lightly on your knee. You tried not to shiver beneath his touch and quietly chanted the contracted dating ban to yourself. “But as soon as I step foot on stage, and I’m singing to MyDay, I’m instantly reminded why it’s worth it. You just have to get there, Y/N.” 

“But when,” you sighed. 

“You think I have those answers?” he smiled. “I’m good, but I’m not that good.” 

He pulled his hand from your leg and sighed. “Look Y/N. I know I’m not around very often and you don’t have endless amounts of time to waste, but I’m here. You have my number and you shouldn’t be afraid to use it. Let me be the voice of reason for you. Or at least the voice of experience, I don’t know how reasonable I am to be honest, so that might have been a bad directive BUT either way, I’m here. Use me.”

You lifted your brows and tried to keep your face composed by his comment. “Use me.” It was enough to make your heart do a somersault and he instantly recognized it.

“You can’t date until two years after your debut, so get it out of your head,” he chuckled, sticking his tongue out. 

“I wasn’t-I didn’t,” you stuttered, shaking your head quickly. 

“Hey, you think it’s easy being surrounded some of the most beautiful people on earth?” he smiled. “I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Hadn’t...hand’t thought about...?” you trailed, eying him casually. 

“How beautiful and talented you are,” he hummed easily. It was amazing what little shame this man had. “I would have to be completely oblivious not to realize. I’ve gone this long without dating anyone though, so two years is pretty cake. I’ll worry about you then.”

He shot you another wink as he began to stand, the conversation having been completely thrown off the rails by this sudden development. Every ounce of your frustration had been forgotten as you stared at his retreating body. 

He paused in the doorway, leaning against the frame, and eying you with a lazy smile. “Really though. Please, if you ever feel stressed...as you can tell, I do well with deflating situations.” 

You swallowed quickly, trying to regain situation normal. “I did hear that you were the moderator for arguments when you were a trainee.” 

“That was mostly for Mark and it was because no one else spoke English,” Brian grinned. “And don’t argue and say Jae or Jackson, because they would both conveniently forget when tensions were high.” 

You nodded, looking down at the guitar in your hands. It was Brian’s favorite. You would have to start taking much better care of it then. 

“So, you want to go get food or something?” he asked, remaining stationed at the door. “It always makes me feel better after a bad practice.” 

“I don’t think I can leave a punishment,” you hummed, reason trumping your immense want to join him. 

“I’ll cover for you,” he smiled. “If anyone asks, I’ll take all the blame.” 

“And then we’ll both get punished,” you laughed. “An already debuted idol scrubbing a drum head as if he were a trainee.” 

 “One does not scrub a drum head,” Brian clucked. “Maybe I should get punished so I can show you a thing or two about cleaning.” 

“Well, you have done it much more than I have,” you hummed, this time taking a turn at sending him a wink. 

“So are you coming or not?” he asked again, a mischievous grin on his face. “Trade in your cotton balls for some bulgogi.” 

“As enticing as it sounds...” you trailed, glancing carefully around the room. “A punishment is a punishment.” 

“Fine, build character or whatever this is supposed to do,” he sighed. “I’ll bring you back some to go. Deal?” 

“Deal,” you grinned. Brian nodded, turning on his heal to begin down the hall. “Hey Brian?” 

For a moment you thought he hadn’t heard you, his figure disappearing from your sight. You bit your lip, waiting to hear his continued footsteps down the hall, but instead, his head appeared in the doorway again. 

“Change your mind?” he smirked. 

“No,” you laughed. “But...thank you. You know, for dealing with my special brand of terrible. And offering to help.”

“It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it,” he smiled warmly. His eyes twinkled as he spoke, quietly drawing you in, and tempting you to abandon your task. “I’ll be back.” 

He disappeared again, leaving you alone amongst the instrument graveyard. 

Maybe life would be a little bit easier with Brian Kang to bother. 

[blazinginbus1]

Lyk how kassie was asked, I thought why not So Explain why you love Zouis, please. Full detail. Don't skip a thing.😇 Thanks anon!!

Look what you’ve done, @sundownlouis…

Regardless, I will gladly answer as best I can. I cant promise it was be half as lovingly put together as her response about Louis, because that was truly so sweet, and genuine, and heartfelt. But I can try.

It feels so hard sometimes to put into words how Zouis make me feel because it’s very much an emotional drive when you love a pair so much. So it’s no surprise to anyone who’s tried to explain feelings into words, that its difficult. I need to preface by saying I love all the boys, obviously. And I find all their relationships amongst each other to be so important in their own ways. All are valued to me, and I love them all. I guess the only thing that stands out to me most with Zouis, is that at some point between just being a 1D fan with a Zayn preference, to noticing his connection with Louis, my realization had only grown to become more obvious to me that they really did have a natural chemistry.

I’m not sure I’m just projecting, or if the observation is clear to most, but once I saw how Zayn’s mood would just light up and turn around when his focus was on Louis, that really was what got me hooked on them. I just feel like I repeat myself a lot when I talk about Zouis, so pardon if you’ve heard all this before. I never tend to shut up about them, its a problem. But, take any interview the boys have done, where Zayn and Louis are relatively in close proximity to each other—which is often—and just observe Zayn. Observe how he answers his questions, where he looks at when he answers them, and how he passes his silence in interviews. Sometimes, yes, he looks around, half-hearted and not focused on anyone in particular. But most times, he is paying attention to Louis. If he’s answering an interviewer’s question, he likes to respond, not to the interviewer, but directing it to one of the boys, most often Louis. If I had to reason why, I think it’s just a reassurance thing. It feels less daunting to answer when he can say it like he’s speaking to Louis.

But aside from me initially realizing Zayn’s comfort in Louis, it was a world unlocked when I took notice of Louis, and how much life he had in his eyes. The really surprising thing about Zouis, is that you almost don’t expect them to be friends. You would never see those two together in any situation outside of the band and think, “wow, they look like they’d be best friends.” But, as we’ve all been taught—’don’t judge a book by its cover’. Louis and Zayn seemed to be drawn more by their personalities. They come from the same humble beginnings, they understand the value of family, their approach to life is a simple, laid-back approach, where they live in the moment and don’t worry too much about the past or the future; those times will come when they’re meant to. They’re both proud of where they came from, and proud of how humble they are. They want to do more than just be a celebrity, and show that in philanthropic ways. They still hold on to a sense of their youth, and embrace fond memories of their past. They even wanted to pursue being teachers, if One Direction had never come to. They wanted to be in a positon in life, where they were helping others. And that really shows how multi-faceted they both are, despite people not assuming anything beyond their exterior.

Even their differences compliment one another. Yes, Zayn likes his R&B, and Louis likes his rock. But, like any of us, we take observations and adaptations from out friends. Zayn may dabble in some more guitar-driven sounds now, like he wrote with Dragonfly; or embrace the rock & roll look, as much as Louis praises Biggie and loves listening to a bit of that gangster rap. A shared appreciation for a style of music that’s not the other’s first choice shows they can adapt. Zayn loves his leather jackets, Louis likes a tracksuit. But they both look handsome, don’t they? Louis likes an exciting night out every now and then, and Zayn is perfectly content with a calm night in. But wouldn’t you know, every once in a while, you saw Zayn going out with Louis, embracing that moment and taking it in strides. And when the mood called for a calm night in with deep conversations, Louis was just as attentive to be in the moment with Zayn, discussing any and everything they trusted the other to understand, without judgement.

And even while Louis was loud, and Zayn was reserved, I did always feel they meshed well amongst all that. They have bits of the other in themselves. Zayn’s not always a demure little woodland creature. His personality is just misunderstood sometimes. But Louis knew that, Louis could see there was a little part of Zayn that can be outgoing, and playful, and sarcastic, and lively. And I would say he was determined to pull that out of Zayn, so everyone could see as wonderful a personality Zayn really could give off as Louis saw in him. And equally so, Zayn had a calmness to him that could settle Louis. We know Louis is so much more than a loud, troublemaking goofball with no regard for structure and authority. We all love when Louis can be playful, but even the wildest boy needs a moment to relax and unwind. To be seen as more than just a spectacle; And really, Louis has much more depth to him that he’s given credit for. And that side of Louis was clear to Zayn, who knew the love and care Louis held for the most precious people and things near and dear to his heart. And knowing the depth of each other, it was easy to imagine how much they treasured the talks they had and the depths they took their discussions. To be able to both let their walls down entirely, that they had full trust in the other? That takes a lot of trust and a lot of faith. Sometimes, Zayn just needed to get outside of his head, and sometimes Louis needed to be brought back down to Earth.

So, I’m kinda getting away with this post. I just meant to explain that i think they connect intellectually more than anything. Funnily enough, they have been so in sync with each other for all these years, that they mimic their action, words, and even clothes similarly to the other. Do they intentionally do it? I’m not sure. Is it a purely coincidental byproduct of how close they grew into each other lives, that they adopt the others mannerisms? Sure! But that also shows how natural Zayn and Louis’ relationship formed for them. I never felt like there was a forced nature to Zouis. They hung out because they wanted to, they were affectionate and complementing because that how they genuinely felt, and there was no tension because there was trust. There’s a balance in Zouis that keeps them in sync and able to read a situation, so they never take things too far with the other. They have an ebb and a flow to them, a balance. And in addition to being incredibly connected thoughtfully, they’re also very playful and fun. They know the importance of embracing each day, and have no regret taking full advantage of that, especially when they know they have a confidant in the other, someone willing to take the bullet for you and stick alongside with you.

Anywho, I’m sure there’s more I could have said, or less I could have said. But It’s hard to encompass all of what makes Zouis so special to me. Because it’s not just the technicality of how they operate in their actions, its how they feel and act and are personality-wise with the other. I wholeheartedly believe that, although they’ve grown as individuals since parting ways, there still feels a feeling of incompletion to them, and up until recently, when they met up, I did always feel it was because nothing can quite fill the void of someone you grew and entangled your roots into. But, there’s always hope for the future, and having as natural a connection as they’ve had from the start, I have no worry in Zouis. I like to say they’re soulmates, but regardless of how I feel, I’m sure they’re meant to be in each others lives for the long haul. You don’t find someone you connect with so well all the time. So, when you find a relationship like the one Zayn and Louis have, it’s unique, and special, and so meaningful. I’m sure we could go on, and on, and on with this, but I will wrap it up here. Zouis are such a wonderfully simple relationship; but DONT underestimate a simple relationship as being less powerful or important, cause that’s definitely not the case. Sometimes simplicity of that love is the key. Thank you for the ask!

[markwatkinsconsumerguide]

Consumer Guide / No.93 / Reading Football Club fan, blogger and archivist Chris Lee with Mark Watkins.

MW : Other than Reading FC, which football team/s do you follow and why?

CL : I did what most young kids at school did – chose a big, first division team to 'support'. I won't say which one though, but safe to say I soon grew out of it! Its only ever really been about one club – and as the late John Arlott said, no matter where he was in the world, he couldn't settle until he knew the result of Reading's game!

MW : How long have you been following Reading? Can you remember your first game?

CL : My first game was in January 1972 vs Barrow in the old, Fourth Division (now League Two) and the whole family went so we could get tickets for the Arsenal cup-tie. I was nine-years-old and don't remember much about the game itself, only that we won 1-0.

MW : Tell me about the most memorable match you've EVER seen at Elm Park, The Madejski Stadium and away from home…

CL : So many memorable games at Elm Park, but the one that just stands out because of its personal nature, is Bolton in 1995. My fiancé's father Bill was from Bolton (the family had moved to Reading a few years before) and he'd taken me to the away fixture on New Year's day. Both teams were going for promotion to the Premier League (they went on to beat us in the play-off final that season) and at the home game me and Bill took our places on the South Bank. It was one of those special games under the Elm Park lights – the atmosphere was electric and we won 2-1 thanks to a brilliant late goal from Lee Nogan. Bill sadly died a few years later, and whenever I think of this special night it's tinged with poignancy.

I don't get to go to as many games as I'd like at the “Mad Stad”, but try and go four or five times a season. I haven't been able to go the 'big' games for various reasons, initially work commitments and then my health, but to be honest, when I do, the best thing is having a chance to catch up with my big brother. The best away game for me was Bristol City in 1995 – the crowd was around 9,000 with 5,000 from Reading, and the atmosphere in the away end was just incredible.

MW : How did you get into collecting ‘The Biscuitmen’ memorabilia?

CL : I was visiting a collectors fair in Twyford in the mid-eighties and just happened to see an old Reading FC postcard which immediately appealed to me. 

I soon managed to get a few more which qualified as a collection of sorts, and then discovered a cigarette card showing Reading's Sam Jennings at the old stamp shop on Castle Street. I decided to find out what cards had been issued featuring the club – not an easy task in the pre-internet days! 

At first I just concentrated on postcards and cigarette/trade cards and built up a fair collection (though I did have various other bits and pieces I'd kept over the years). It was after I started 'The Biscuitmen' website in 2008 that I decided to branch out a bit more.

MW : What are some of your favourite items in your collection and why? What items do you most seek?

CL : The advantage of having a website like mine is that people occasionally tip me off about auction items or offer to sell and sometimes even donate stuff. 

A chap contacted me saying he had a large framed team photo from 1925-26 that had belonged to his grandfather, who happened to be a Reading FC director at the time. He offered to let me have it for nothing, which was amazing! 

I was also pointed in the direction of a medal which was up for auction, with the description only stating it was an 'R.F.C. 1893-94' medal, which many people assumed meant rugby. But I knew the Reading team had been awarded medals in 1894 just for qualifying for the FA Cup first round proper, and the name on the back matched one of the players. I managed to get it for around £50, and those two items are definite highlights. 

My first love has always been the old postcards and I have around fifty, but there are many, many more I know of. I often miss out because of the cost, but would dearly love to add to my collection.

MW: Your memories / encounters of / with David Downs and Alan Sedunary?

CL : David has long been recognised as Reading's official historian, and it was his club history 'Biscuits & Royals' that sparked my interest in the past when I received it as a gift in 1984. I've known him for many years, and he's a lovely man. I would respectfully say he's a quirky character – the day before Elm Park's last ever league game in 1998 he put up a tent and spent the night on the pitch!

I don't personally know Alan, but have often corresponded with him regarding the club's past. His book 'Heaven on Earth – The Official History of Reading F.C. 1871-2003' is practically my bible!

MW : Do you have much to do with ‘Hob Nob Anyone’ (The Fans’ View Of Reading Football Club)?

CL : I’m a member of Hob Nob Anyone? but don't often post – I'm not very good at distinguishing banter from abuse!

MW : Pick your ALL -TIME Reading ‘Royals’ eleven with manager!

CL : This is so difficult... I could pick four teams, there are so many players I'd like to include. I've gone for these purely on the basis of how much I enjoyed watching them play, not necessarily how well they would combine as a team!

Team: Death, Murty, Richardson, Wdowczyk, McPherson, Gooding, Parkinson, Sigursson, Senior, Friday, Gilkes.

Subs: Hislop, Shorey, Sonko, A.Williams, Quinn, Horrix, M. Butler. Manager: Steve Coppell.

MW :  Other than following ‘The Royals’  what are your other hobbies and interests?

CL : I've always been a huge film and music fan, and enjoy photography. When I was 17 (forty years ago!) I was the 'singer' and bass player in a band with my mates – it was nothing serious, we hired a hall every Sunday afternoon and messed about really. Our sound was basically a cross between Status Quo and the Sex Pistols!

I've had the same battered old acoustic guitar for many years which I enjoy strumming, but wish I'd taken music more seriously. 

I've always loved the classic film noirs and find the music of that time very appealing as well. I'm a nostalgia buff generally which explains the appeal of pre-war Reading FC memorabilia, there's just something about it.

MW : What do you enjoy most about living in Reading?

CL : I live north of Reading and go into town maybe once a week, but rarely go out for the evening there. I much prefer to have a meal at a pub in the beautiful countryside near to where I live. The most useful thing for me is being able to visit the Reading Central Library, where over the years I've done a lot of research using the local newspaper archive, which they hold on microfilm.

MW : How will you be spending Christmas (2019)?

CL : With family as usual, and I'm hoping to get to the Boxing Day game against QPR at the “Mad Stad”. Christmas is a time for family and reflection, so I’d like to say that I couldn't have coped with life since my illness without the support of my wonderful wife Rebecca, she is my absolute rock.

MW :  Do you have a website?

CL : My website is called 'The Biscuitmen', which was Reading FC's nickname before it was changed to ‘The Royals’ in the 1970s. I started the site in 2008 to aid my recovery from a brain tumour operation, and initially it showcased my card collection.

I had some other stuff tucked away such as handbooks, fixture lists, team and player photos etc and decided to expand the site a couple of years later. 

I add to the collection when I can and I'm constantly amazed by what turns up. And I'm always grateful for donations!

I'm particularly keen to get hold of vintage postcards as well as original team photos from any era. 'The Biscuitmen' can be found here www.chrisdlee.com

MW :  Finally, do you plan to write your own book about Reading Football Club?

CL : I have considered it and it could be about Reading's tour of Italy in 1913. Last year I managed to pick up some Italian papers/magazines printed at the time that feature some amazing photographs. I find the pre-Great War period a fascinating time in our history – Reading were relegated, almost went bust, won promotion and, as well as the trip to Italy, had a couple of exciting cup runs.

© Mark Watkins / November 2019

[rainydawgradioblog]

FROM THE ARCHIVES: Treefort 2019 - Tres Leches Interview

This year, Rainy Dawg Radio was invited to attend Treefort Festival, an annual celebration of art that takes place in downtown Boise. The festival took place over the course of 5 days on a surprisingly sunny March weekend and included musical acts spanned across multiple venues which ranged from large standing concert halls to small independent bars. Down at the Shredder, a beautifully grimy dive bar, Seattle band Tres Leches played a daytime set that paired perfectly with the drizzling Seattle-esque weather outside. The three piece band consists of Rainy Dawg alumnus Alaia D’Alessandro, Ulises Mariscal, and Zander Yates who cycled through drums, guitar, bass, and theremin throughout the set like a game of musical chairs. I talked to the band the following day over free coffee and treats (shout out press room) to talk about college radio, the band’s formation, and the current state of music in Seattle. Note: The following script has been edited for clarity.

Tres Leches live at Treefort. Photo by Willy Picton.

Chelsea: First I’m going to talk about some radio stuff because Alaia was a DJ here at Rainy Dawg.

Alaia: I was, yeah!

Chelsea: What was your show called and what did you play on it?

Alaia: It was either called Phonic Earth or Phono Seattle, I forget which rendition I used, but I played a bunch of different kinds of music. I think it was Phonic Earth because I played music from all over the world. Not just in Seattle but we had some cool people come in to do small in-studios. We had Hijos De Agüeybaná play bomba music. They played barriles which are these big drums. They have African heritage and it combines with Taino, which is indigenous Puerto Rican, and played other percussion instruments. They make it up to dance and some of the dance movements and lyrics are Spanish. It is like a big combination of all the different backgrounds of puerto rican culture. We also had a local band at the time called Night Train and did an in studio with us.

Chelsea: Do you feel that your time at student radio and the connections that you made help you in your starting career with music?

Alaia: Yeah definitely. Now I work at KEXP and that’s been a huge help. Having some experience behind the board at Rainy Dawg helped me. I really enjoyed being able to use that as a platform to help local bands too and get them on the radio or have them in for conversations. It taught me a lot about networking. Our band puts packets together to send to other radio stations. Also, curating shows was helpful, like how Rainy dawg does like a once a year concert.

Chelsea: Yeah, now we do three shows a quarter.

Alaia: That’s great!

Chelsea: I meant 3 shows a year with one a quarter sorry haha. But I think the show that you’re talking about is our birthday fest.

Alaia: Oh okay yea that might have been it. When I was there, Unknown Mortal Orchestra was playing. That was kind of a new territory for the station at the time. It was kind of a big deal to have that band there. It wasn’t the first time they had a big band there, but it was one of the first times the students had really done all the curation for it. Got the band, got the funds so that was a really cool step forward. So it’s really awesome that you do three shows a year now, that’s incredible, congratulations!

Chelsea: Yeah! We do two of the shows with local bands only and the last show is where we get national acts, usually we have a local band or two as the openers. And the other thing we do is a battle of the bands which is our next event actually. So then I guess if you all didn’t meet in Rainy Dawg, how did you guys come together?

Zander: Alaia and I met at high school.

Alaia: We met in the band room at school.

Zander: At Nova High School, we started jamming. We were in bands together back then.

Alaia: I still remember when he walked in, he looked very different. But yeah it was funny, I think you seemed kind of sheepish at first.

Zander: Yeah, I was pretty nerdy.

Alaia: And then Ulises and I…

Ulises: I went to Bumbershoot in 2011 I think and I saw this Mexican electronic band that was playing Bumbershoot, Nortec Collective. They were doing like Norteño and Electronica. I didn’t know Alaia and Zander and all of a sudden I heard someone talking in the background and it was Alaia and she had like a really loud voice.

Alaia: (loudly) What are you talking about!

Ulises: Like in a good way, haha! I was just listening in like I wonder who that person is? And we kinda look at each other like we kinda vibe you know really like *snaps* that. We didn’t have to talk or anything. And then we realized that she liked some of the same bands from Mexico like I’ve never met anybody that knows bands from Mexico and I was just like “how do you know those bands?” and we stated chilling and she pushed me to play the drums cause, you know, I’m a painter, so we went to the EMP museum and we kinda started jamming there and I was like “I’m gonna buy my first drum set!” And then we kinda just started jamming from there. And it was fun!

Alaia: At the time he had told me “I’m a DJ!”

Ulises: I’m a DJ actually!

Alaia: Now you are! Now he DJs for Hollow Earth Radio! But at the time I think I looked back to Zander and was like “Ah yeah, I met this DJ”

Zander: I forgot about that!

Alaia: You did not DJ!

Ulises: I was thinking in the future. “I am a DJ, I know what I am not right now” but it worked!

Chelsea: Do you think Seattle is still a place where bands can emerge or do you think that the emergent music scene is being pushed out?

Ulises: Well, in my opinion, I think that all these problems that we have with housing and homelessness is kinda in a good way pushing artists to get out there with their art you know? I know it’s bad but as an artist you kind of have to do that art and make yourself hurt. And now we’ve got to be more of a community to keep going.

Zander: More pressure with [Amazon] not getting taxed, it makes it really easy for them to come in and do whatever they want as a business and it makes it really hard for small business to come up because they have to pick up the bill. The small businesses have a really big hand to play in the music scene of course and venues are having a really hard time. And again, with property prices raising, it’s affecting the kind of music you hear in Seattle, which isn't inherently bad all the time. It is sad to see bands move out because it is really hard to have a drum kit in a small apartment. It’s harder to have band practice, and it’s also just harder to practice and create music that has a lot of complexity or virtuosity to it because it’s hard to put a lot of time into practicing, because there’s no way you’re gonna make it if you’re not working 40-50 hours a week. You hear that in the music a lot. There’s a lot more solo artists because it’s really hard to have a band and there’s a lot more bands that just have really simple music, again not an inherently bad thing but, it is just kind of interesting because you hear it and you’re like “this band sounds like this because of this economic factor”.

Zane: Do you think that has changed during the time you all have been together in the music scene in Seattle?

Ulises: It’s changing really fast. I feel like sometimes we don’t even have time to stop and say “this is where we are”. It changes so fast you have to just get with whatever is happening because it’s just very chaotic and all over the place. It reflects what [Zander] was just saying about how the city is changing. Like the scenery of capitol hill is just construction and there’s constant noise which definitely reflects on your music without even thinking about it. So it definitely plays a role and I try to take it as part of the artwork, like “okay, there’s nothing I can do and at least I can get something from it.” I know it affects a lot of people and it sucks that bands have to move out so I want to make sure that it stays in the music so when people listen in the future they know what was happening today so we don’t make the same mistakes.

Alaia: I will say that I think the community’s response to all of this has been really strong and you have all these bands that are fighting for their independence and fighting for their community, like the Black Tones come to mind, and then you start kind of really having to create community. I love the shows we’ve been playing, I love all the shows we’ve played, but the ones we’re playing currently seem the most supportive. The artists want to stay and see the other bands like “hey all my fans, I want you to see something new!” And that changes with genre mixing too, which is not about staying part of one scene, it’s about breaking down all the scenes because we all need each other. And we can’t divide things into scenes, or north and south and west and east, because we all need to see each other right now and see our resources and pool them together, so it doesn’t matter if you’re playing with an electro cumbia artist like Terror Cactus or a hip hop jazz afro-latinx artist like Guayaba or also DoNormaal and Bearaxe. Everyone right now needs to come together and if artists affected by issues are able to express themselves and be themselves consciously or subconsciously, then those artists are gravitating toward each other and really starting to support each other. It’s not cool anymore to be the loner artist and I’m glad that fallacy is dying.

Zander: It’s cool how that’s the norm now. I remember being in shows or booking shows back in 2012 when there were mixed bills, cause I wasn’t thinking about the bill I just asked my friends if they wanted to play a show and didn’t care that they played a different genre. But I remember all the sound engineers and booking managers thought I was really weird for doing that and now it’s the norm. In Seattle it’s hard to find a show that only one genre, and I love that because it brings everyone together where people can interact and share ideas which is really cool.

Chelsea: People are all over Spotify, Bandcamp, whatever now and you don’t see as many pure metalheads or die hard rock fans or people interested in only one genre, so there’s genre blending for fans and artists. So you said that you’ve been enjoying the shows you’ve been playing lately, is there anyone that you saw either here at Treefort or in Seattle recently that you’ve liked? Anyone that really surprised you?

Alaia: I liked ORUÃ who played last night. They played a couple bands after us. They were definitely really groovy in an unexpected way. When I think of groovy I think of genres that are classically dance music like soul, or RnB, or dance pop and electronica. This was very psychedelic. The beats that the drummer had were really danceable.

Ulises: I’m excited to see Carrion kids. I think their singer is the drummer of another band that came to Seattle and played with us a while back called Los Honeyrockets. Definitely excited for them and Y La Bamba. They’re probably playing right now, but we’re seeing them later.

Alaia: Oh, See Hurricanes at freakout fest in Seattle. They were fun to play with.

Zander: Well we’re excited to play with the black tones again, and go see them.

Ulises: They’re releasing their first album. We’re excited to go see them.

Chelsea: Are they a Seattle band?

Ulises: Yes, they’re really amazing. Another band that I saw that I didn’t know and was surprising was Velvet Q.

Alaia: Yeah!

Ulises: Yeah, I was very impressed. It was one of those moments where you just walk in and you’re like “holy shit this is a great band!”

Zander: I saw Gaylan Lee here and he was pretty freaking good. He’s just a ridiculously good songwriter. It’s really cool to see people and just be like “Oh this person’s really going to be remembered” Well I guess everyone is going to be remembered in some ways, as long as the internet doesn’t get solar flared into non existence, but it’s cool to hear people that you’re like “Woah, this is a legendary singer-songwriter and just a very legendary person” and see someone perform like that. That venue was great, the Boise contemporary theatre.

Chelsea: Yea! I saw Wend there yesterday. They described themselves as chamber psych.

Zander: Oh that sounds awesome, I wish I could’ve seen that.

Chelsea: It was really good, they had a harp and a bunch of strings and everything. It was one of the bands that has like 12 people.

Zander: Oh those are the best kind of bands.

Chelsea: Definitely one of my favorites that I’ve seen. I’ve loved the whole curation of the festival. And I was surprised that they reached out to us to give us these press passes.

Alaia: I think that the festival actually cares about who’s coming to it, and that everybody can at least make connections, and they care about connecting people throughout the community here and throughout the world. I got that state from the stage we were at, the whole curation for that stage was great. It felt like they booked people saying “I think these people would be friends.”

Ulises: Also, the hotel we were staying, at a lot of bands were staying there too, so it was good to talk to some people who were playing. (to Zander) You talked to somebody in the bathtub right?

Zander: (laughing) Hot tub!

Alaia: There was a band High Hazel in the artist home upstairs who we talked to, they’re playing tonight.

Chelsea: Well the last question I have is: do you have any upcoming dates in Seattle that we should tell the UW community about?

Ulises: Alaia and Zander have shows in Seattle coming up, they have their own solo projects.

Alaia: I’m going to be playing April 6th at the clock out lounge with with my band, it’s just my name Alaia, A-l-A-I-A, and sometime it looks weird when you look it up. My name is Alaia D'Alessandro. When you look it up it’s A, lower case l, A, uppercase I, A so it’s like 3 A’s with 2 lines but they’re actually letters it’s just for being cute, but it might not be functional. Also, we’re going to submit a video for a tiny desk so tell ‘em to watch it.

Zander: I’m playing a show April 25th at Vermillion. And if you google my name you’ll find it, I’ve got a bunch of crap out there, I’m starting a YouTube channel and all that, I’m doing some cryptocurrency projects, I kind of want to save the universe so I’m doing a lot of shit. And then after these shows we’re also playing a benefit on May 31st. It’s a benefit for Nova high school because they have to fund some teachers out of pocket, because the school district is not doing their job.

Alaia: That was the high school we met at. That was the high school that just let us make bands.

Zander: We’re working on some new music. We’ve got side projects and you know, we put out a really cool album last year and we might put out some more stuff this year but we’re kind of creating an expanded universe like Star Wars nerds. And Uli’s got some really cool projects he’s working on too, I don’t know if it has to be secret.

Ulises: Oh, well I’m just working on some artwork for the city, I’m pretty excited about it. I was selected out of thousands of artists and I didn’t even have to apply because you know, most art that you want to make you have to make a resume, and submit photos and everything, but for this, they contacted me. I thought it was a scam at first, as an artist nothing good ever happens to you, but no, it’s awesome, it’s going really well for most of us. I think at the beginning I’ll say to all the artists, it’s going to be really hard at the beginning and you’re going to want to quit and you’ve just got to keep pushing.

Alaia: As the buildings are going up in Seattle we’re also building our own thing, just to sound like a dad.

Zander: That’s legit though, to be able to create your own space, to create your own existence. I was reading this argument on YouTube, like it wasn’t really an argument just this person being really down on themselves being like, “what are we going to do? We’re never going to be free, or have liberty because there’s this battle for wealth and resources” And a lot of people don’t want to create, they just want to hoard, or take, or inherit because work is hard, even artwork! Any of it is hard, and someone said the route to freedom is through new technology and creation like creating new spaces. I guess it’s like the original idea behind DIY, and I agree with the root ethos of DIY, and it become more of an aesthetic like ordering things on Amazon. Like I got this DIY pin on the internet.

Ulises: Yeah, I think we’re losing that with technology. I know a lot of people my age who do not know how to do things DIY, like when you have less, you have to go and kind of create things, and a lot of people are losing that creativity 'cause we have technology, which is really sad.

Zander: But some people are gaining it through technology. I mean, crypto is DIY currency. But I think it’s cool that most people even learn just a little bit of HTML growing up, just so we could make our myspace look cool. It’s kind of neat when you think about it, like HTML didn’t even exist when our grandparents were alive, it’s a form of coding. And it’s interesting how people adapt, I also agree with Ulises; I think it’s sad that people don’t know how to fix things.

Ulises: I think there needs to be a balance, we’re losing from one, but we’re also gaining from both. That’s what I mean when I say we should be working toward both, instead of just going into technology and leaving the other.

Alaia: There’s a way to have diversity in the way you do things and in your tools and your resources.You can value the DIY cryptocurrency and you can value the handmade things that take maybe a little more time to make, or maybe a little more of your physical labor to put in, and that gives you a different result and that’s special that they’re both different things and they can provide different kinds of value.

Ulises: (pointing to Alaia sitting in between him and zander) This is a balance right here.